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episode: RED BAR RADIO S21 E02

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transcript

[0:00:00]   We're all dumb and the granny crotchety crotchety belly pull down the buzzled weed[0:00:30]   We're all dumb and the granny crotchety belly pull down the buzzled weed[0:01:00]   Oh really dude[0:01:30]   Oh hi how are you welcome to red bar everybody here on a Friday so what it's[0:01:44]   gonna be only nerds only nerds saw some guy on my Instagram just now maybe we[0:01:51]   should reschedule the show for another time it's the worst times man on a[0:01:58]   Friday and then I thought oh yeah all the cool people go out on Friday night[0:02:02]   it's the only time they could get out of the damn house so we're stuck with the[0:02:07]   nerds probably get harassed more today usually when the nerds are home there's[0:02:14]   more harassment that happens to me over Instagram well welcome to our show here[0:02:18]   Jules is here today we also have Jules in the house what's up what's up Jules[0:02:22]   in the house this is gonna be a very difficult podcast to do hi how are you[0:02:30]   you ready to spend your whole day well don't get me started on Tedros I'm still[0:02:35]   pretty offended from last night or the night that it came out welcome to red[0:02:39]   bar big Friday episode for everyone today we've got all your favorites here[0:02:44]   big David Spade day today it's time to go after David Spade okay David Spade[0:02:54]   has blocked me personally blocked me I saw it happen with my own eyes I was on[0:03:01]   Instagram I'll tell you the story in a little bit we've also got the some[0:03:05]   footage here from kill Tony's live $25 anniversary live stream is not very[0:03:16]   even joke world joke world and what do they call a guy like joke world he's a[0:03:21]   no blinker do you guys know what a no blinker is kind of like no jumper no[0:03:30]   blinker is one of those fags who does news reports on TV and he's like today[0:03:34]   everybody had a Joe Rogan on a show today it was really they call those guys[0:03:40]   you know what they call him no blinker I learned that from Josh Richards from the[0:03:48]   BFFs podcast I'm always learning things from him Theo Vaughn we've got a Theo[0:03:54]   Vaughn me too coming up here today you're gonna hear from all your[0:04:01]   favorites today Denny is in the news Anthony creamier is in the news do[0:04:06]   people get excited when they hear Denny in the show notes or do they not know[0:04:10]   him very well we've got David Spade Sam Tripoli[0:04:15]   Hela Klein jelly roll Aaron Berg Jeremiah wonders Liz and Philip[0:04:23]   DeFranco I like those I like the more innocent the guy well they're not[0:04:28]   innocent I mean the more you know like when they're they want to be known as an[0:04:34]   innocent you know Jeremiah Watkins wait till you see what we caught him doing I[0:04:39]   hope people are into not liking Jeremiah Watkins and we've got a huge one from[0:04:45]   Eric Griffin today that's all the teasing I'm gonna do there plenty others[0:04:50]   though there's way more than that Joe and the guy that people have been[0:04:58]   begging for is that weeks starts with an M who is that Matt right Matt right the[0:05:06]   introduction of Matt right today it's time it's finally time for Matt right if[0:05:13]   I'm sure you've been hearing his name all over and if you're anything like me[0:05:18]   you've probably been pretty upset about it you probably don't know what to do[0:05:22]   with those feelings so we're here we're gonna show you what to do with those[0:05:25]   feelings today and how to handle this Matt right who you know if you've only[0:05:32]   heard his name and you thought maybe this was just some boring tick-tock er[0:05:36]   that you didn't need to know about that's what I thought and I was wrong[0:05:41]   you do need to know about him and we've got some amazing clips clips that nobody[0:05:47]   else is gonna be showing you with this Matt right he's the new talk of the town[0:05:52]   so we've got Club Random even we literally have it all and it's Friday[0:05:56]   night so we could stay up as late as we want baby start with one of these get[0:06:02]   some music on we're gonna do this is a drinking show okay I haven't had a drink[0:06:06]   all week we've been very busy this week working on the merchandise[0:06:13]   red bar merge coming very very soon the samples are all in there beautiful new[0:06:21]   stuff all new designs all new cuts let's have that first drink[0:06:25]   Joel stop this I was real funny for some reason okay so the rules of the program[0:06:33]   are you could drink along with me do not drink ahead do not drink below and if[0:06:38]   you can't handle doing about 15 shots throughout the course of six hours feel[0:06:42]   free to water them down halfway or just you fake shots we can't have anyone[0:06:47]   going to the hospital over this and don't get so drunk that you're not[0:06:50]   really understanding all the little parts of this show that you got to keep[0:06:54]   your ears open for if it is your first time watching live congratulations that[0:07:00]   means yours Scars Club member this is a Scars Club episode scary hard to work[0:07:07]   Scars Club thank you guys for being members we've tripled our membership[0:07:13]   since the last show all right let's have that first sip here we go[0:07:16]   cheers everybody[0:07:27]   spicy spicy spicy don't want to ruin all my moustache wax at the beginning of the[0:07:33]   show to have one more we always do two at the beam don't do that if you're[0:07:37]   gonna start swirling and getting confused a lot of people they can't get[0:07:43]   to take shot after shot in the middle of the day so please be cool but of course[0:07:49]   and if you're doing this today that doesn't mean you go and you drink this[0:07:52]   week and this is it once a week kiddos here we go let's do this natural this[0:07:58]   gets us in the mood a lot of people can't drink on their shows we've seen[0:08:04]   this happen time and time again a lot of people they can't drink on their[0:08:07]   shows they get too drunk they get too wasted they get too annoying not here[0:08:12]   cheers everybody[0:08:17]   what's wrong everything okay good beautiful beautiful welcome to Red Bar[0:08:25]   we have a full day of events here today should we start with a rise should we[0:08:29]   get this rise out of the way is where the TV comes out of the ground so we[0:08:34]   could spy on people okay this is if you're new to this show welcome this is[0:08:41]   you're in the live chat at once a week I get a guy going I can't get into the[0:08:45]   chat please Mike help me how do you see these guys in our comment thread[0:08:50]   sometimes on Facebook and Instagram Mike how do I get in the chat honey you got[0:08:55]   to figure that out yourself I'm so sorry okay let's do a quick rise we're[0:08:59]   good for that tools mm-hmm Jules is here the wife of the show not much of a wife[0:09:07]   oh well find out what Jules did wrong this guy just kidding she didn't do[0:09:14]   anything wrong okay let's do this this is our rise we're gonna make the TV come[0:09:19]   out of the ground you've never seen anything like this here it is rise[0:09:24]   come on there you go[0:09:35]   get up rise right right where does it go right there[0:09:46]   it's nice beautiful one day we'll hook up the smoke machine[0:09:52]   I down you know we've got a low-lying hazer it's very loud during the show and[0:09:57]   we really can't control the haze but maybe we should spend a bit more money[0:10:00]   and get a movie hazer get some lines in here would you like to see the light[0:10:07]   beams in a little bit of haze looks cinematic okay here we are the TV I[0:10:15]   don't know where to start today cuz I got a lot of bozos that need to be[0:10:20]   picked on let me look at my list real quick I think we started last time with[0:10:25]   Jeremiah so maybe we should wait a sec it's just so exciting we could I know[0:10:30]   the Jeremiah one just happened a few days ago and I am really excited to see[0:10:36]   it why don't you show everyone what David Spade blocked before okay yeah we[0:10:39]   could show David Spade a block to me and I knew this was it felt right you know I[0:10:46]   was on Instagram I don't comment much anymore I used to be a big troublemaker[0:10:50]   on Instagram I used to sit there all day and harass and harass and bully and then[0:10:56]   it got a little dicey Instagram started threatening me saying you got to change[0:11:01]   these comments Mike you cannot be doing this this is you're making this bullying[0:11:07]   harassment and they would give me a warning remember I would post some nasty[0:11:11]   you know to people who deserve it yeah I never pick on anybody you know we'll[0:11:17]   show you red bar in the wild we're going to show you an example today of who not[0:11:20]   to pick on the segment called you got to be mature so I you know I'll be on[0:11:27]   Instagram I'll be saying something real nasty about George Janko and then as I[0:11:31]   go to post a little timer comes up and Instagram says this post looks similar[0:11:36]   to ones that have been reported you know are you sure you know and you got to[0:11:42]   undo it very quick you don't want to lose you could lose his account in a[0:11:45]   second you've seen what happened to my good friend Owen Benjamin you know these[0:11:49]   accounts could be terminated and then I'm finished Instagram is all I have[0:11:54]   without Instagram there really is no show this is really you know I make most[0:11:59]   of our money is made off Instagram doing brand deals and most of my networking is[0:12:05]   made on Instagram talking to people all damn night all day and night on[0:12:09]   Instagram I'm in the DMS with networking with some really big people so I cannot[0:12:17]   lose my Instagram account so I've settled down I have what's called grown[0:12:21]   and mature you just harass Erica Costell only yeah Erica Costell Jake[0:12:27]   Paul's old girlfriend is one of my private harass harassments and of course[0:12:32]   on Instagram I never send anybody a harassing message you never want to do[0:12:36]   that you never want to privately harass someone that crosses a line in my opinion[0:12:42]   you always want to publicly harass the point of harassing is so that a large[0:12:47]   group of people could all have a nice laugh or a nice share a nice thrill of[0:12:53]   an expose without the people watching it's just a real brutal it's a it's a[0:12:59]   it's a crime so I'll show you what happened with David Spade everybody[0:13:03]   knows David Spade right from Tommy boy and I've had kind of had enough of David[0:13:08]   Spade I kind of don't really I it all popped into my head when I saw him[0:13:13]   comment this I go I don't like him anymore well we saw him a couple weeks[0:13:17]   going club random he was on Bill Maher's club random and it's the same old shtick[0:13:24]   with David Spade I mean we got it he's the short guy but he gets tall models or[0:13:32]   I think that's what used to happen in 2000 and he kind of just still lives in[0:13:37]   this space with the girls and hitting on people and needing to be a sex guy and[0:13:46]   we really have no patience for sex guys especially when they're doing it[0:13:51]   publicly on Instagram and they're trying to get in there and ski ever seen this[0:13:57]   and then one of the one of the beautiful women's Instagram pages in this case it[0:14:01]   happens to be a real beauty probably one of the only Instagram models I jack off[0:14:07]   to Chloe Fineman from Saturday Night Live and this is really interesting[0:14:14]   because I don't know if you know who Chloe is from SNL but if you do know her[0:14:20]   you've probably been a little like you know what's her deal what's her problem[0:14:25]   I really don't like her and you'd be spot-on if you think that and maybe you[0:14:32]   saw her on Architectural Digest send me Chloe's Instagram first I'll show you[0:14:39]   how this all started it's very funny that Spade and Chloe from SNL I came[0:14:48]   together in this way because we were kind of thinking about picking on Chloe[0:14:53]   a few weeks ago we put her in our notes a few weeks ago we like to pick on you[0:14:57]   pick a few SNL cast members to go after per year I don't pick them they come to[0:15:03]   me see them and I go they come to you it's been a while we used to have AD[0:15:07]   Bryant to ice cream cone 80 to ice cream cone she's outside of a what's that[0:15:13]   damn place where they do SNL and there's the ice skating ring with Tina Fey 30[0:15:17]   rock and you see 80 Bryant walking out there with her two giant cones and it's[0:15:24]   like is anybody gonna tell her maybe you know enough with the cones finally they[0:15:29]   got rid of 80 Bryant little baby 80 who has also blocked me on Instagram we're[0:15:33]   hoping for a Chloe Fineman block today you'll see why 80 blocks me and then SNL[0:15:39]   gets a new 80 did you see that one and I think she's like a there first did you[0:15:45]   see this it was a sketch where they said it's SNL's first by normative this is a[0:15:52]   touchy topic right now in the world by gender what do they call that thing[0:15:57]   binary SNL got their first binary cast member and it's this fat woman who's[0:16:06]   doing 80 Bryant's thing she's she's basically replacement for 80 Bryant hey[0:16:12]   any Bryant didn't really have a lot of fans so I'm not sure what the deal was[0:16:15]   with that why they would want to even replace her but Chloe Fineman is our[0:16:20]   target today and we're gonna show you who she is maybe you've seen her around[0:16:25]   let me pull her up for you here she is on Instagram have I been blocked up not[0:16:30]   blocked by Chloe let me find a normal picture of her or maybe we should pull[0:16:35]   up that video Architectural Digest yeah I put it in next up get me that one and[0:16:39]   we will watch Chloe first I'll show you a picture here she is from the show[0:16:43]   we're gonna watch oh wait it's probably a bad one they have any regular photos[0:16:48]   you know their agents have all told them I'll make videos they get more clicks[0:16:52]   you ever try to go to somebody's Instagram now it's all videos you click[0:16:56]   on a thumbnail hoping that's what it's gonna be you might have to wait three[0:17:00]   minutes into this video now to see what you're actually seeing there so okay[0:17:04]   here she is have you seen this girl on SNL she thinks she's real hot she ate[0:17:13]   let's watch this video you'll start to get a better idea of why we're in[0:17:18]   trouble with Chloe Fineman new fool new fool at Chloe Fineman should we see this[0:17:24]   is we love this show Architectural Digest is that it come on in AD let me[0:17:31]   show you my home and we really get to the bottom of who these people are a lot[0:17:35]   of these guys we saw Jesse Pinkman was on this show you could see how he lives[0:17:40]   we are not Jesse Pinkman fans here either he's been on some terrible[0:17:45]   behavior lately you know he celebrates Logan Paul and Chris D'Elia[0:17:51]   wait he hates Logan Paul yes Aaron Paul from Breaking Bad hates Logan Paul loves[0:17:57]   Chris D'Elia supporting you'll always see him and Chris D'Elia's Instagram said go[0:18:03]   Chris love supporting you don't let the haters bring you so when the Rolling[0:18:07]   Stone article comes out about Chris's eight rapes allegedly Aaron Paul sees[0:18:13]   this and decides you know what I'm gonna go over to Chris D'Elia's page and[0:18:17]   tell him how great he is he's a great guy I like him today today on the[0:18:22]   Rolling Stone day expose that's when I like him the most to me that's crazy to[0:18:27]   do right even if you're friends with him shouldn't you lay low on the big[0:18:32]   Rolling Stone rape day you really shouldn't be going out publicly as Aaron[0:18:37]   Paul and trying to show that you love Chris D'Elia which he does every day[0:18:40]   here's Chloe Fineman and then we'll get into what David Spade did to get me and[0:18:48]   him to be on bad terms which I hope maybe we could rile up spades at that[0:18:52]   age he's at that age where he's not gonna like red bar all right here she is[0:18:57]   hi I've always wanted to do that um I'm Chloe Fineman and this is peach and[0:19:05]   welcome to our home[0:19:11]   do we have codes she says something crazy like everything okay I feel like[0:19:18]   I want when people enter this apartment is rich this is a rental I don't think[0:19:23]   he's ever done a rental but I wouldn't say I'm rich but I would say I have very[0:19:27]   expensive taste so come to France that's what she's about to start doing and[0:19:32]   hopefully we could catch this I did want this noted out but I guess we don't[0:19:36]   have notes for this what we're trying to catch you here she starts doing the[0:19:41]   let's panic okay we could call it that the full let's panic we've seen Whitney[0:19:47]   Cummings do this too where they're trying to be funny but they can't quite[0:19:51]   think enough they start seeing some real cringe and they don't really have a lot[0:19:56]   of faith in it by the time the sentence is over so they get caught in a fool's[0:20:01]   panic in this case full let's let's see if we could catch her where we are my[0:20:06]   sister made this like incredible painting but this matches this rug that[0:20:11]   I got from ABC carpet which is my favorite place in New York I've been[0:20:15]   going there almost 20 years which is crazy this is a chair which is courage[0:20:21]   so we don't like that that already starts us going but what you do now[0:20:27]   that's very minor let's see if we could catch a few more on Instagram several[0:20:31]   years ago guys watch this show man in Rhode Island and was like how do I get[0:20:36]   this and then she made it for me this is a regret see but now I'm trying not to[0:20:40]   regret it it looked very different regret see no no is that how they talk[0:20:46]   in the SNL writers room or all the writers on strike I heard they're[0:20:52]   getting three percent more per year possibly for this strike after costing[0:20:57]   the studio's billions I'm really you know who is on my side with this writer[0:21:02]   strike Bill Maher yeah Bill Maher says they should get back to work on Etsy and[0:21:09]   then it's like painted but it looks really expensive from afar but close-up[0:21:14]   it's like there's gonna be took puffy paint and stencils and tried to say this[0:21:18]   was like an Italian antique pillow brick is huge brick is huge in New York I live[0:21:23]   for brick the brick is lit there's just something about like brick and brick[0:21:28]   colors to find this apartment and every apartment I've ever lived in search[0:21:33]   brick on Craigslist you just put in like brick I can't take it about it I can't[0:21:40]   take a kink for crown molding hundreds of people applied to live here and I[0:21:45]   wrote basically a love letter about the crown molding and also that I was[0:21:49]   conceived on this block turns out I wasn't conceived but my parents did live[0:21:53]   here in the 70s so hey that's cool okay let's see what she gets into remember[0:21:59]   this is the girl David got me a lamp lamp lamp but there's no ceiling light[0:22:04]   which I guess back in the day people felt that overhead lighting was[0:22:09]   unflattering because you can get Botox and all the fun little secret things we[0:22:13]   do these days nipples which I had as a child fun fact and I relate to her she[0:22:21]   doesn't have a name but it was cool I got this from Pearson Ward and you could[0:22:24]   choose if you wanted like cold or and we don't need to see you know with these[0:22:27]   shows this architectural show us the house we don't need to see what's on[0:22:32]   your shelf we don't need to see the knick-knack we don't need to see these[0:22:35]   little tiny oh this is a cut and they'll show this show the wall the kitchen the[0:22:43]   rooms the architecture not the knickknacks speaking of knickknacks you[0:22:48]   know who got a new shelving unit crystal ball in a niche McGee's what's that show[0:22:54]   called breaking point breaking points you guys watch the politically motivated[0:22:58]   breaking points show with crystal ball I heard there was a fallout with Joe[0:23:03]   Rogan and crystal ball I did what happened with that anybody know about[0:23:06]   that send some info to Jules but breaking points the show they got a new[0:23:10]   set beautiful new set right send that over maybe you could get me a breaking[0:23:16]   points video will show you they couldn't resist they got the shelving unit every[0:23:22]   set in podcasting they don't know what to do they just forget what to do they[0:23:27]   can't figure it out so they put a shelving unit behind them and then they[0:23:32]   get little knickknacks to represent things that you know like Whitney[0:23:37]   Cummings has Nashville some bullshit regarding where she's from originally[0:23:44]   you know so she gets that knickknack a little plant there it's all from Target[0:23:48]   it looks like they've all purchased this stuff on the same day I just I'm really[0:23:54]   not into shelving units okay let's go back to her then I'll show you breaking[0:23:58]   points here is where I keep my SNL badge that you actually need at all times[0:24:04]   I've lost five or six and yet I still have the same photo this was like my[0:24:11]   first day of work and your girl looks terrified okay see that's a moment that[0:24:17]   you see this kind of stuff here this kind of stuff and she's a nepo baby[0:24:22]   which I think the world hates the college's Scientologist baby that's what[0:24:28]   people her parents are very high-profile Scientologists and then of course she's[0:24:33]   the new queen of SNL they're featuring her there people she's raped people[0:24:38]   they're trying to get her they're trying to push this woman you'll start seeing[0:24:42]   her everywhere they are trying to push this woman on you did you see this photo[0:24:47]   this was like my first day of work and your girl looks terrified does she do a[0:24:55]   little singing procrastinate with interior decorating which is about the[0:25:00]   whitest woman thing I've ever said in my life I don't know where it comes from[0:25:05]   it's just sort of like calms me down it's a problem like it's a full-blown[0:25:10]   problem and I will say prior to doing this Architectural Digest video this[0:25:15]   chair was about seven different chairs here's my thing I have like one more[0:25:21]   time problem when my boyfriend and I started dating and I moved into his[0:25:25]   house in LA he was like you get one velvet and one gold and so in this[0:25:30]   apartment everything's velvet and everything's gold cuz it's mine I think[0:25:36]   there's a big one coming up there big one coming up that's what I'm holding[0:25:40]   out for sitting room initially this was a dining room I had this idea that it[0:25:45]   would be like La Pankotia put the dog down and gather and chat and I really[0:25:51]   don't like that when people involve their dogs and stuff that's not for a[0:25:55]   dog show like I really get mad when Ethan Klein and those Klein's they[0:26:00]   start oh here's shredder oh here's Alfredo and Trent they got these two[0:26:05]   nonsense dogs that nobody has business buying you can't draw them you can't[0:26:10]   draw these dogs if you can't draw a dog and get his personality showing through[0:26:16]   the picture that's not a good dog to buy not a good dog today so I can't stand[0:26:20]   when people are picking up their dogs in a video and then everyone's playing with[0:26:25]   the dog everybody's telling the dog how cute it is not for me used to be for me[0:26:33]   years ago just in case you catch me with an old picture of a dog right and then[0:26:39]   in the first year I lived here we had one dinner party because the dog is bad[0:26:44]   this is a mono print that my sister Emma made she basically gave me a bunch of[0:26:50]   pieces of paper so I found this guy down the street in the West Village and[0:26:55]   for 45 minutes every morning for the past two weeks we would like re-pin[0:27:00]   everything and let me tell you lining up tits with a stranger is really a weird[0:27:04]   way to spend your morning multiple times he asked if it was me but I really think[0:27:09]   it's beautiful and the tits aren't fully aligned but god damn it did I try I[0:27:15]   won't talk about the private part but you can zoom in on that yeah my sister[0:27:18]   drew some pubes we're modern women well please watch the rest of that on your[0:27:25]   own if you really want to if you like some subtle subtle crane she was also[0:27:29]   one of the hosts of the Met Gala red carpet yes she was like I said they're[0:27:35]   pushing her they're pushing her but what does this have to do with David Spade[0:27:39]   you might ask well David Spade has the hots for her so we'll show you this this[0:27:46]   is do we have the yes the Idol parody so she is one of Ashenow's impressionist[0:27:54]   yes yes into personators okay she does a lot of womenly impressions they're a[0:28:00]   little rough she did this one have you guys seen HBO's The Weeknd's the Idol[0:28:08]   we've got some opinions on the Idol you're not gonna believe our opinions on[0:28:13]   the Idol I thought I wanted more nudity in shows so she does a face swap so I[0:28:22]   gotta show you this I hopefully everybody see the Idol of course rated X[0:28:27]   rated X to X if you haven't seen this this this girl who's in the Idol it's[0:28:34]   Johnny Depp's daughter it's got these tiny tiny tiny blonde titties they're[0:28:41]   constantly dancing should they're not they're not this is me the whole show[0:28:44]   often in trance no no no no stop don't even say that stop saying that they're[0:28:49]   jacking off to that idea in transit I'm going like this to me it's no different[0:28:54]   than watching Lena Dunham and girls when she's naked oh and you would think Mike[0:29:00]   I thought you were a nudity guy I thought you were wanting so much more[0:29:04]   nudity in TV shows you know when this show the idol was coming out I was very[0:29:08]   excited because all the articles were saying they went too far with the nudity[0:29:13]   in the strong sexual content and I said this sounds great I'm so glad finally[0:29:19]   because people are so afraid to do any nudity now because of all the laws and[0:29:25]   the the sex stuff that they've been kind of backing away from that you know used[0:29:30]   to watch any r-rated movies to have some great nudity in it used to the nudity of[0:29:37]   today whenever they do it it's in a very it's either a lesbian thing a trans[0:29:42]   thing it's either it's a very you know disgusting dramatic type of thing and[0:29:49]   the idol is no different be careful what you ask for they've put the nudity back[0:29:54]   at the show but it doesn't work she's got cuts all over her inner thighs[0:29:58]   she's bleeding she's very you know you don't like cutting that's one of you I[0:30:04]   don't like cutting and on this latest episode sure cut yourself cut yourself[0:30:09]   fine no no no no no that's Pete Davidson behavior to me this cutting is like the[0:30:15]   grossest thing you could do like to me there is no room for cutters like yeah I[0:30:20]   hope no cutters are listening to the show because it's way worse than you[0:30:24]   think as far as like people seeing your old scars you know when I heard that[0:30:29]   Jeffrey star the big helocline looking Jeffrey sir he's got scars all over his[0:30:35]   legs all over his stomach oh yeah sure I used to cut myself yeah mm-hmm that's[0:30:40]   not okay that's too far Pete Davidson what do you think he's got all those[0:30:46]   tattoos for us to cover up the scars I'm not kidding he cuts himself for release[0:30:53]   please you ever seen release in the insidious movies release anyway here's[0:31:01]   the idol which has some sex stuff in it that I really really don't like I do not[0:31:06]   like the weekend I'll go into that a little bit more I'm very glad that this[0:31:11]   is tearing down the weekends fan base you know the weekend is really losing[0:31:16]   this now everybody loved the week and he was a five-star guy every time the[0:31:20]   weekend puts up now people loved it I will be continuing to watch but the[0:31:24]   weekends comment section is very hilarious go to the weekends Instagram[0:31:28]   everybody hates him now he didn't realize you know he's made himself into[0:31:33]   this character and if you've read anything about how you know he stopped[0:31:37]   production mid-production they had to reshoot everything because the weekend[0:31:41]   wanted to make it more I think this movie is or this show he's playing[0:31:46]   exactly himself in this weekend okay so I hope you've seen the idol I hope you[0:31:53]   swing Johnny Depp's daughter I can't imagine anybody missing that or being[0:31:58]   behind on that unless some people are like I don't do HBO I wait till this is[0:32:03]   on the other streaming sites where it's cheaper a little bit cheaper for me but[0:32:07]   Chloe Fineman's done a face swap and she's pretending to be Jocelyn that's[0:32:15]   also not a name you know that reminds me of that girl who writes all the songs[0:32:18]   the Logan Paul girl because her name is Jocelyn I think about every time too so[0:32:24]   she did a face swap but it's her real body that you're about to see but[0:32:28]   they've done a face filter I didn't know that I thought this was actually her at[0:32:33]   the beginning but of course it's a face swap right it kind of looks similar I[0:32:36]   think she just put on one of those tik-tok filters that yossifies okay okay[0:32:40]   so here it is and then we're gonna have to we have a screenshot of this[0:32:45]   David Spade stuff because I've been blocked the note that you put okay let's[0:32:49]   watch this this is by the way if you've got kids in the room please cover them[0:32:53]   up here we go we're gonna have to unmute real quick my son sucks there she is[0:32:58]   music should sound like a slut or a whore anyway I met this guy last night[0:33:03]   his name's her bed he was like dressed in a bag cape but I think he's gonna[0:33:08]   like change my career now sing remember this from the show[0:33:20]   sound like it's poly or like I or like the music doesn't have a gender just[0:33:26]   bucks you know like the cigarettes of course everybody's first[0:33:39]   this is my home fuck like music should fuck my hands are small I know but they're[0:33:45]   not yours mom let's practice the dance for my song that I hate she's doing this[0:33:58]   on her own time by the way so hard I was in a mental institution by the way[0:34:07]   very good great job Chloe she could have maybe pulled it off if she didn't have[0:34:13]   to do the singing the singing the 800 cigarettes that's the easiest joke in[0:34:18]   the world yes of course in the the character the show smokes okay go to[0:34:23]   Twitter you know I don't like when when professional comedians use the most[0:34:29]   common joke from Twitter as their thing you see if inclined do this a lot a lot[0:34:35]   of comedians do this they their joke is just whatever the most hack thing[0:34:42]   Twitter's done you see this a lot especially in their specials you'll see[0:34:45]   it a lot with Matt Rife so why is David Spade involved so David Spade sees this[0:34:51]   video starts getting horny okay damn I didn't know Chloe Feynman was so hot[0:34:58]   you can imagine David Spade sitting there during his infinite scroll day you[0:35:04]   know constantly on Instagram scroll and scroll and scroll and he sees this he's[0:35:10]   getting a horny it's probably on his little pills and now he wants to get in[0:35:15]   there right so we catch him with this comment here it is is this here this[0:35:20]   first one look at this David Spade[0:35:25]   here we go here it is down here so you've got Chrissy Teigen okay she goes[0:35:30]   the bra lol you know I'm furious I'm scrolling through these comments[0:35:35]   furious about what I just saw the video I just saw how terrible it was here's[0:35:40]   Lily Rose Depp herself I'm lowing in your makeup looks bomb okay and then[0:35:47]   Chloe Chloe immediately response her I'm obsessed with you really cuz you were[0:35:52]   making fun of her you got caught making fun of her now you're obsessed with the[0:35:56]   weekend made her post that you love her you love her so much you're obsessed[0:35:59]   with her were you making fun of her cuz it's not really a funny face swap video[0:36:05]   if you just love her so much okay and then you see here David Spade and he[0:36:11]   writes this this really got me mad he writes and first I see this I go high[0:36:15]   lar what's high lar and then I see Jules looking over my shoulder and she goes[0:36:20]   Hilaire Hilaire I thought this thing said hi lar like what is Hilaire Hilaire[0:36:30]   so imagine this David Spade this got me going here imagine this David Spade[0:36:36]   looking at this and he just wants to say something to her because he's got the[0:36:39]   hots right he's horny can't just be like hilarious video Chloe see you soon he[0:36:44]   has to be too cool yeah toss so he tosses his hair and he goes Hilaire his[0:36:52]   hair is dry I was hit I was hit with a real real aggravation when I saw that I[0:36:59]   got real mad so I commented back I saw that nobody was responding to David[0:37:05]   Spade he got 67 likes here but no responses ago this is the perfect[0:37:10]   opportunity for me to get in there and you know say something to David Spade[0:37:17]   and I didn't say anything that bad I get in here he says Hilaire I say you know[0:37:23]   the bar face please delete your comment please delete your comment you know and[0:37:31]   I want him to know without having to really explain that guys are watching we[0:37:36]   show what you did you've been caught delete and to me I'm in a delete phase[0:37:43]   now yeah it's easy it's not very creative but I feel like it's very[0:37:48]   degrading if I posted something and I was trying to be funny and guys are like[0:37:53]   each delete that's kind of one of the more degrading things you could say to[0:37:59]   somebody we really get under my skin if people were telling me I need to delete[0:38:03]   all this stuff that I was just showing off with oh yeah don't post that don't[0:38:09]   post that I'll put that in the band words it'll be a band word soon and then[0:38:17]   when you really need me to delete something it'll be too late the[0:38:21]   listeners that cried wolf's so yes please delete your comment and within a[0:38:26]   matter of seconds after posted that I was banned banned by David Spade for[0:38:36]   nothing banned by David Spade for saying delete so I would like to ask our[0:38:44]   audience to please start legally harassing Spade let's see let's see if we[0:38:54]   could get Spade to start doing some boomer activity where he starts getting[0:38:58]   mad like we just saw Jim Brewer do jelly roll who's pretending he's happy[0:39:03]   but believe me he's very mad we've got a jelly roll clip to show you here today[0:39:07]   from his documentary a clip that we showed you last week but there was a[0:39:11]   little bit more to it we'll show you that in a second so there is David Spade[0:39:15]   pick on him and people are saying in crooked Hilaire no crooked Hilaire and[0:39:23]   I just want to see what he's made out of let's see how he handles something like[0:39:28]   this so you can start with your red bars watching you could start I'll show you[0:39:33]   this we've got a red bar in the wild and I want to show you a red bar in the wild[0:39:36]   don't do all right let's show you this quick jelly roll clip we could show[0:39:44]   people that dad at somebody mean yeah you could throw that a next step you[0:39:50]   know David Spade blocked me but guess what when one when one goes away a new[0:39:56]   one comes look what I found here oh that's all we got in the screenshots[0:40:00]   real okay okay well look at this it was better I had a more epic screenshot but[0:40:08]   look at my followers list look who's here Harley Moore and Steve started[0:40:16]   liking my post started following me this is I am honored here this is the[0:40:21]   epic meal time he's Jewish he's Jewish the biggest Jew out there[0:40:28]   Harley Moorenstein like big in size he's a very big guy this was right after his[0:40:33]   boxing match I forgot to show you guys this he did the celebrity I dubs boxing[0:40:36]   match remember that you got to give me some tums I'm dying here oh you got to[0:40:41]   get me some tubs here throw something up no no throwing a beautiful song we'll be[0:40:45]   right back in a second but look at that Harley Moorenstein following me isn't[0:40:48]   that nice Wow I just need a quick top we'll be right back don't go anywhere[0:40:54]   clips from jolly roll coming up and all your favorites in moments[0:41:04]   oh I love this song thank you thank you thank you do we have Pepto as well that's[0:41:12]   okay oh this is the new of course give me one sec I just gotta chew these up[0:41:43]   that's okay just give me a second to[0:41:51]   watch it down before cuz people don't like these crumbles yeah look at me[0:41:57]   look at me you're looking I take you doge a cat you can pull me up I know[0:42:03]   shit cat is back she says she's only gonna wrap now disgusting disgusting[0:42:09]   she's got three titties one here yeah Jules likes it I don't like this is a[0:42:20]   doja cat says she's only gonna do wrap now no and I'll tell you why you're[0:42:24]   gonna come around no I won't and I'll tell you why this whole song she's doing[0:42:31]   here and a lot of these ladies are doing this right now you know kasha pull up[0:42:34]   that new kasha song we'll make fun of that real quick give me that new kasha[0:42:39]   song doja cats doing what kasha just did and it's a song owning the hater the[0:42:47]   whole song is about how she doesn't care she doesn't care well if you didn't care[0:42:52]   you wouldn't have to say nothing about it right no no no that's not how music[0:42:59]   works for me girl you know girls out there girls will like a song no matter[0:43:05]   if the lyrics are about communism or the woke not me the lyrics are[0:43:11]   everything to me so if the artist is saying something goofy that I'm[0:43:15]   completely against or taking on a behavior that I can't get over like[0:43:20]   kasha you know kasha put her career on hold for many years because she alleged[0:43:27]   dr. Luke raped her shoutouts to dr. Luke the best part of kashas career it's[0:43:37]   stuff like that I can't get past okay yeah put on the kasha one listen to this[0:43:42]   trying to own it the haters in your song to you babe could be the most crooked[0:43:47]   thing you could do is when you try to own a haters with a song after your[0:43:52]   hair pause that really quick after being tormented in the comments you know[0:43:57]   a lot of entertainers right now that's really where they're at right now they're[0:44:01]   just kind of not able to wade through the the torment in the comment so it's[0:44:08]   coming out in their music every day in interview with an influencer or comedian[0:44:13]   now is kind of trying to convince themselves yes yes yes that the haters[0:44:18]   don't really bother them that the haters are jealous so here's kasha this[0:44:24]   is her big comeback song after the whole world turned on her after she falsely[0:44:28]   accused dr. Luke of rape is ran you know how much money they wasted in court with[0:44:34]   this crap he didn't do anything there nobody's raping a big woman like that[0:44:41]   listen to this song play this here this reminds me of the doja cancer you just[0:44:48]   came out that people think they like no that's another thing here positive here[0:44:54]   I can control that's another thing Jules will ask me oh you should do like this[0:44:58]   for karaoke I can't explain it to you enough I despise cash so I will not sing[0:45:07]   her karaoke I will not joke around about her music I don't listen to it for fun[0:45:12]   when her music comes on it could be the best song in the world musically die[0:45:16]   young I don't know what that is I despise a person like kesha to me she is[0:45:21]   the trans community and I am Jordan Peterson there is no ever liking her[0:45:29]   take it to the stand tell it to the stand kesha okay listen to this this is[0:45:35]   gonna make you sick[0:45:38]   way he did from Karen about your opinion this is like jelly roll song too how[0:45:48]   dare they use these melodies that aren't there[0:45:55]   nobody was in his lyrics luckily the joke's on you I have nothing left to[0:46:01]   prove yes you do so if hey didn't me helps you love yourself hating me helps[0:46:07]   you love yourself[0:46:14]   hate me harder you think this is owning me it's not dr. Luke[0:46:27]   isn't it funny it's spending all that time and energy[0:46:34]   wasted on me wasted on her it's not about so flat it's like we just hate[0:46:40]   what you see nobody was that's your comeback for that you say I am I'm[0:46:50]   obnoxious nobody was asking you got me I guess because you addressed it in the[0:46:56]   song I'm never allowed to hate you anymore sorry kesha that is not how[0:47:00]   this works you I got nothing left to prove yes you do so if hey dad me how'd[0:47:07]   you love yourself that's not what it's about well yes[0:47:21]   yes there is[0:47:26]   this makes me I always have these fantasies of a one-on-one eight-hour[0:47:29]   interview with them in a room where you're saying these horrendous things[0:47:35]   bringing these women to tears[0:47:40]   get it again and again and again and keep saying it over again been there I[0:47:45]   done I lived it up did I do it all over again I'll take it I'll take it I'll[0:47:48]   take it I'll take it I already know that I can already know I can hey me hey me[0:47:57]   you don't mean it it's really all about you it's really not about hurt people[0:48:04]   hurt people hey me hey me oh you love me you just keep on talking talking all[0:48:16]   about there you go you have permission oh so yeah those are cats doing that[0:48:24]   that is cringe don't let yourself get tricked with a stolen melody in those[0:48:30]   you can't do anything okay beautiful songs ladies yeah you're so confident we[0:48:35]   really believe you it really sounds like you've gotten over all the hate why am I[0:48:42]   receiving hey keemstar keemstar did a great tweet the other day where he got[0:48:49]   checked by community notes did you see that you guys could read that on your[0:48:53]   own let's see what's going on I'm working on these yonder bags here thanks[0:48:57]   to all the people who reached out to help me on these yonder pouch openers[0:49:02]   we're coming out with a red bar product this is gonna be real that you could[0:49:07]   bring to shows you could legally bring to comedy shows or any event that they're[0:49:11]   trying to lock up your phone and you simply take it out of your pocket you[0:49:15]   open the bag you've got freedom to use your phone the whole time we're gonna[0:49:19]   launch this product oh my I feel bad I've got a lot of people trying to help[0:49:25]   me out miss and we've really haven't organized this at all or done any work[0:49:30]   but I got an email from somebody the other day saying that they've got a[0:49:35]   prototype in the works a 3d printed prototype that they're gonna be mailing[0:49:40]   to the PO box for us to try and I think we're gonna launch this if they do work[0:49:45]   we're gonna launch this by sending some of you a few lucky winners who want to[0:49:50]   help we're gonna send you to the comedy mothership for opening day and we'll[0:50:02]   have you guys be the first official users of the product and hopefully you[0:50:10]   know we'll have the proof you know if you've got a cell phone video from Joe[0:50:13]   Rogan's the comedy mothership well there you go the product works pretty[0:50:17]   good and you should probably buy them up this is gonna be a subscription product[0:50:21]   where you get a new one every month it's gonna cost about $49.95 a month and we[0:50:27]   send you a new opener every month and you got to pay for the year up in full[0:50:35]   that's $49 a month for one year to get access to the product and then you get[0:50:40]   the same product again every month okay we've got some great red bar in the[0:50:45]   wilds coming up my new favorite segment oh you were talking about that jelly[0:50:49]   roll video someone yeah why don't we show people that that was really cute[0:50:53]   here it is we saw this from jelly rolls documentary and somebody this was this[0:51:02]   is by Gucci is G thank you Gucci is G sounds like a great guy here it is of[0:51:09]   course if you're listening to the audio version here's jelly roll on his phone[0:51:12]   it's not a good day for jelly as he opens his phone to read some hate there[0:51:19]   we go who else is trying to do this shtick right now we're there some country[0:51:28]   boy down and dirty backwoods boy I don't really buy from this jelly roll here he[0:51:37]   is look at that look at that fake face and you know they get all the tattoos[0:51:43]   on there that that really tricks people into thinking oh that must be a real[0:51:46]   music watching it again what are you lacking in your life that this is so[0:51:51]   happy and joyful for you if I was sitting by this fuck I'd be like this[0:51:54]   holding my fucking breath till he left it's what he's got to put up with not[0:51:59]   doing that statement it's the end of the edit by the way but we could watch[0:52:08]   him get up thank you Julie is G love edits not right now no I said let's see[0:52:17]   that's it for the day be[0:52:21]   it's getting on mic that's when you know it's gone really there when they gotta[0:52:31]   unmic you during the doc that's big trouble see the surprise in her Joe[0:52:39]   Rogan and who was watching this with Joe Rogan where they were like weeping over[0:52:45]   the jelly roll music just last week didn't Joe have somebody on and they[0:52:48]   brought up jelly roll I just saw the clip Steve Rinella or one of the hunting[0:52:53]   boys where they bring up Bud Light and they high-five each other all right[0:52:58]   let's do some Jeremiah Wanda you've seen him the kill Tony band leader from the[0:53:05]   old kill Tony show when they were in the comedy store there now they're of[0:53:09]   course at the mothership we're gonna watch their 10-year anniversary is that[0:53:13]   what it was 10 year anniversary yes sir show where they charge $25 for a live[0:53:19]   stream and then another 25 by the way for the rewatch so we bought the live[0:53:25]   stream and usually those are available for seven days or something like that[0:53:29]   you buy the live stream and you could watch the replay for a few days after[0:53:33]   not kill Tony kill Tony you get one watch and then you got to buy it again[0:53:39]   so we had to buy it again for today $50 on this $50 so that we could show you[0:53:44]   three clips from the kill Tony red band and tell him that we had to pay twice[0:53:49]   yeah maybe somebody compliments to him and that of course we don't want our[0:53:54]   money back I put on a big show but can we make sure that all the money goes to[0:53:57]   red band only yes please somebody get in touch and you're gonna want to get in[0:54:02]   touch with red band about this next bit coming up because we've caught Jeremiah[0:54:07]   wonders doing some stealing let me get this asshole off my screen so the last[0:54:14]   week we showed you Jeremiah wonders of course Jeremiah Watkins is his name I[0:54:18]   think Jeremiah wonders is one of his accounts names he's the guy of course[0:54:23]   who did black lives matter remember that that really got you guys upset and then[0:54:30]   last week we watched as he begged as he begged to the world openly he said I[0:54:37]   know this is tacky but a lot of people are asking what they could do to help[0:54:42]   because I just had a new son I had my second child remember this and he said[0:54:48]   well honestly I know this sounds tacky but I'm not afraid if you could please[0:54:53]   send money for uber eats in DoorDash so that we could buy food I'm in charge of[0:55:02]   meal prep for my family do you remember this and we need food we don't have any[0:55:07]   food I can't cook and I'm currently about to feed my brand-new baby rich[0:55:12]   crackers with some smoked salmon on top which is pretty expensive I don't know[0:55:19]   how he's spending money on all this smoked salmon but that's what he did and[0:55:22]   he's trying to guilt people by showing the Ritz crackers it got a lot of people[0:55:26]   upset and a lot of you went out of your way and you messaged Jeremiah you gave[0:55:31]   him hell for this right you bullied him online and a lot of you were blocked so[0:55:37]   Jeremiah spent the week he goes okay I posted it I did the wrong thing now red[0:55:42]   bars after me people were getting blocked all the time just for mentioning[0:55:46]   red bar in his comments so he's fully aware that we've dug into him and he's[0:55:53]   getting rid of you guys well it's time for payback because we just cut Jeremiah[0:55:57]   doing the worst thing a comedian could do you can't really sure you could beg[0:56:02]   for money because you had a new kid and you need uber eats money which we don't[0:56:06]   use uber eats anymore we'll tell you that story coming up do not use uber[0:56:10]   eats anymore I'm going full Josh Denny today we're gonna boycott uber eats[0:56:15]   because they screwed me uh you know maybe he can get away with that with the[0:56:23]   other comedians you know the other comedians but the one thing you can't[0:56:27]   get away with in comedy with your fellow comedians is joke theft that's where[0:56:34]   we've caught Jeremiah today you know we usually skip over a lot of Jeremiah[0:56:40]   stuff it's just too boring right you guys have seen Jeremiah post every[0:56:45]   single day he's doing a 13 to 20 different little comedy things on[0:56:51]   Instagram and on YouTube anything you know he's hoping something sticks[0:56:56]   something clicks something goes viral something gets big he's one of those[0:56:59]   he's got high hopes I don't know how much longer his little comedy career is[0:57:04]   gonna be going I think he does a podcast with Bobby Lee's brother is that still[0:57:08]   on the Stevie we be our check it out can you get me some hype dungeon music here[0:57:14]   I want to take a fucking hits before we see Jeremiah and I recommend you do the[0:57:18]   same thing at home get a little get me some music on there Jules some here we[0:57:24]   go you're gonna want it for this[0:57:31]   fuck yeah fuck yeah fuck yeah one more[0:57:40]   oh yeah bro this doesn't hit very well so Jeremiah[0:57:48]   wonders come on down before that we had some amazing Jeremiah fan art based on[0:57:56]   the begging this is by Michael Armato Amato Michael Amato he calls Jeremiah[0:58:07]   the father figure which I like father figure that's good that's something I[0:58:14]   would say here's Jeremiah the father figure and there he is of course on his[0:58:19]   phone bag and that's a great picture of Jeremiah and he's begging for his uber[0:58:26]   eats Jeremiah has seen this by the way not too happy he's very embarrassed he's[0:58:33]   ashamed share this photo with Jeremiah wonders receive your block baby there he[0:58:41]   is again father figure I get that's by Michael Armato it's got a cute artistic[0:58:50]   style wonder what Michael Armato's black-and-white line art would look[0:58:57]   like if me up Michael[0:59:04]   oh good good shock for this okay okay let's show you what Jeremiah has done[0:59:11]   let's watch them stand up on the spot shall we stand up on the spot[0:59:20]   father figure here he comes everybody Jeremiah wonders give him a full round[0:59:26]   of applause here wherever they want I will fuck him if they want to do here we[0:59:32]   go you can lower that music there lower that beautiful songs there today okay[0:59:37]   nice hopefully we're nice and toasted this is Jeremiah wonders stand up on the[0:59:42]   spot YouTube show which by the way Joe Rogan has stolen for his own you know[0:59:48]   this is a show that's been performed at the comedy mothership for a long time[0:59:52]   this stand up on the spot this is where comedians go up you'll see he'll[0:59:56]   introduce it to and so it's really funny how he says it stand-up comedians they[1:00:01]   go on stage a lot of your favorites you've seen them on this stage and the[1:00:05]   audience members will yell out a topic and then the stand-ups got to be so on[1:00:10]   the spot he's got to be so quick-witted right that he comes up with something[1:00:14]   funny to say wonderful not a show I'd like to attend I'd like to see some[1:00:20]   really good material that has been well I'm never gonna see that there's nothing[1:00:26]   I want to see by the way a lot of people ask me this Mike what's your favorite[1:00:29]   stand-up no stand-up stand-up is silly Robin Tran of course Robin Tran of course[1:00:36]   but stand-up is very silly we don't like stand-up the art form itself is very[1:00:42]   theater II very gay it just really should be speaking of gay if you have a[1:00:49]   hair out of place do you want me to tell you or not mention it you got it what[1:00:54]   you got to do is you shut the whole thing down you panic come over to me you[1:00:58]   fix the hair you don't alert them because they're not even looking at the[1:01:02]   screen you notice so I just thought no no you don't alert them you quickly you[1:01:07]   go Mike there's a big computer problem okay and then the music goes up that[1:01:11]   break screen goes on you pull me aside you whisper in my ear we get the thing[1:01:17]   fixed up and hint hint and then you fix it without making any scene about it[1:01:26]   we're leading anyone on to know anything so get the hell over here and fix it[1:01:32]   we'll be right back[1:01:36]   okay so right now I've got to take off my shirt I've got to take off both my[1:01:45]   shirts and my shorts[1:01:50]   this this[1:01:55]   like that[1:01:59]   no no no how dare you no no I've been I mean I don't know what to do I'd have to[1:02:07]   take a whole shower to fix this no no no hold on we're not ready now I'm all[1:02:11]   sticky she handed me a mirror covered in hair gel I need a wet rag now because[1:02:20]   you handed me a mirror it's covered in I mean who hands somebody a mirror without[1:02:25]   wrapping it in a paper towel first everybody knows a hand mirror for a guy[1:02:29]   is covered in gel covered in a pomade[1:02:37]   my mirrors I'll clean them I'll Windex them up too and by the time I'm done[1:02:43]   with a hairdo that mirror is covered in spots you could barely see through it[1:02:48]   anywhere and the whole handle will be covered in a sticky can't get it off[1:02:53]   it's just water you know you are you need to really wash this hold on I'm not[1:02:58]   finished here you should have yeah how about you just let my hair go where it[1:03:05]   goes look what you've done[1:03:10]   the whole show's off track now wait I gotta fix this myself we still haven't[1:03:14]   fixed the problem here with the hair this is what I get for trying a new[1:03:19]   product today too I knew this was gonna fall I knew it was gonna fall oh it's[1:03:26]   all fall[1:03:31]   this is killing me this isn't any better I'm gonna need a comb a mirror all the[1:03:37]   stuff Jules this is my it's just all falling now this is about as bad as it[1:03:42]   gets I've never seen anything like this on the show here and this is what I get[1:03:46]   I've switched to a new product today held up just fine I should have known I[1:03:51]   should have known I said you know what I'm gonna try this lighter product today[1:03:56]   I wore it on a date the other day it looked really good but it probably fell[1:04:01]   on that date too and here she comes[1:04:08]   okay good you've wrapped the mirror now I've got a comb the comb doesn't need to[1:04:13]   be wrapped that's just silly okay now I'm fixing I would die if I had to do[1:04:22]   this on camera I can't tell connect this there I don't think so that's a whole[1:04:30]   different look it's a look I wasn't going for there we're really sorry about[1:04:35]   this we'll get this in order I'm gonna throw on a hat if this doesn't look good[1:04:41]   sorry guys I got a lot of problems with my hair that I'm just not willing to and[1:04:47]   now I got a light up the camera and everyone's gonna see what we've done in[1:04:50]   this last ten minutes I'm terrified to see what this looks like[1:05:00]   all right bring me back welcome back Oh God you know is there even gonna be a[1:05:09]   clippable moment for the thumbnail for this or do I have to put a dream mask[1:05:13]   on for the rest of the dance well yeah and again do not switch products ever[1:05:22]   guys that's what you get for trying something new I I mean really what an[1:05:27]   ass I've made out of it you look really cute now I think it's perfect hell yeah[1:05:32]   man by the way the product that did not work today and you're gonna I'm[1:05:37]   embarrassed to even say it was true original men's pomade crew the original[1:05:45]   brand that's never worked for me my entire life by the way their marketing[1:05:49]   is so good and it's not even good it's not crew is like if you only had a[1:05:56]   Walgreens you only had your grocery store crews a pretty expensive brand I[1:06:02]   mean crew is pretty fucking nice it's a luxury brand if you're only shopping it[1:06:08]   people are saying Albertsons low-key not bad so I'm telling this is killing me[1:06:15]   guys I spend two hours on my hair when there's one hair out of place it messes[1:06:22]   off everything but this is what I get I use who is from Walmart and is really[1:06:26]   cheap this is what I just said I said if you shop at a place like Walmart if you[1:06:31]   shop at Walgreens crew is a luxury brand okay it's the most expensive most[1:06:38]   people can't afford crew most people can't afford crew when I was coming up[1:06:44]   that was a product only your rich friends had only the rich Jews had crew[1:06:49]   okay I like L'Oreal bullshit some L'Oreal of the gel with the bubbles in it[1:06:57]   okay and your friends who are rich had crew I've been buying crew my whole damn[1:07:03]   life here and there it's never worked for me have you ever done this with a[1:07:07]   product are there any big brand products out there that have you keep going back[1:07:12]   and trying throughout your whole house probably since sixth grade I've been[1:07:15]   trying crew I put it in my hair I go no this crew isn't for me what a waste that[1:07:20]   was so expensive what a waste and then I'm probably every year of my life since[1:07:26]   I've gone you know maybe I'll try crew maybe I've grown up maybe I have matured[1:07:32]   and I could just do my hair better have you ever thought this yes and then you[1:07:37]   buy crew again and look where you're not now you're talking about damn crew I[1:07:43]   might as well get a crew cut you always forget even I'll like buy like a new[1:07:49]   hair straightener this is not the person I'm trying to be online here someone[1:07:55]   has a great comment they say think of it this way Mike who else's hair is even a[1:07:59]   little bit cool name one guy you're right if you look at anyone's hair on a[1:08:04]   show it should we can prove that we can prove that if you really go look at that[1:08:11]   right there and you're sitting there with that they say so you smiling cuz[1:08:22]   you need money the only reason I've been brought it up is because when[1:08:32]   you're looking for the screenshot tomorrow morning at 8 a.m. he's gonna be[1:08:36]   clicking through his hair pics going oh I'll go crazy[1:08:41]   can I do one more slam on Jeremiah please sure I'm worried about my yeah my[1:08:49]   hold on yeah my hair product might be available at Walmart but at least my[1:08:55]   shirts are Wow amazing slam yeah yeah it is this should never be here[1:09:05]   fire whoever did this it's totally fine you look really the only reason it was[1:09:15]   kind of looking crazy before it was it was dangerous close to like splitting in[1:09:18]   the middle and like oh and then it's world if you split in the middle show[1:09:22]   over you got to leave so I just wanted to it was killing me I just want to[1:09:26]   smooth this is what I get when I think you know what it's time for a lighter[1:09:31]   hole guys he was the hardest hold you could find okay it should be like glue[1:09:38]   if your hair even moves a bit you're gonna be fucked once you bend over to[1:09:42]   dye your shoe you ever do that guys you do your hair with a light hold going on[1:09:47]   a date you're walking like this the whole time god forbid you even look at[1:09:52]   the ground your hair could fall so you're walking like this the whole time[1:09:56]   if your shoe becomes untied you got to have somebody to tie it because your[1:10:01]   hair is going to come yes my that is my whole life is this collapsing hair I do[1:10:07]   it up all cool in the mirror I'm looking great ten minutes later it's the most[1:10:14]   faggot II retarded he's not kidding he and I guess as an excuse to not have to[1:10:22]   take Chula for a walk or take him out because all of this I go I'm just[1:10:27]   finishing getting ready can you take you out I'm finishing getting ready if you[1:10:30]   can't hear her and he's just sitting there and he'll go I can't take you out[1:10:33]   because if I bend over to pick up his shit then my hair will get ruined I say[1:10:39]   can't take him out I can't bend over right now I just did my hair okay you[1:10:46]   can't take him out and you could use this at home your wife goes can you take[1:10:50]   out the dog you I can't take him out I just did my hair if I bend it and then[1:10:54]   they should know they should go oh yes of course he just spent is what I do all[1:10:58]   that time in the hair I like a hat and with that being said this was actually[1:11:03]   listen to this I like a hat okay with a hat you don't have to worry about any of[1:11:09]   these problems[1:11:11]   coming soon red bar hats we're gonna be selling them on our new merch we've got[1:11:17]   some beautiful new hats coming up this was all a long unscripted kind of[1:11:23]   commercial for the new hats we have coming out so I think that helps get[1:11:29]   people's attention and now we could mark up them more hats now you know why you[1:11:33]   need a hat you can't just walk around with your hair we can end up in big[1:11:38]   trouble all right Jeremiah you might have think and I know you're looking at[1:11:43]   how he's looking at me right here what do you think you got one over me on the[1:11:46]   hair no no no no no you're not out of this one Jeremiah this is Jeremiah[1:11:52]   wonders stand up on the spot everybody okay are we back in action everything's[1:11:57]   fine here you're looking at the man any more problems with me just answering a[1:12:01]   fan any boogers coming out do I have a blackened tooth that we should draw[1:12:07]   attention to what other problems on me[1:12:14]   you're perfect in every way let's all stop looking at our monitors guys eyes[1:12:20]   over on the fools monitor I'm gonna start blurring myself during the show[1:12:24]   all right areas Jeremiah wonders he does this bullshit show stand up on the spot[1:12:29]   and in fact Joe Rogan has stolen this experience Joe Rogan doesn't seem to[1:12:35]   understand that you know he can be guilty of stealing as well he takes Joe[1:12:42]   Rogan really takes it's really interesting all the rules Joe Rogan[1:12:47]   breaks that he would never let anybody else get away with you know the way he[1:12:51]   acted on that kill Tony live show he would never let anyone else if somebody[1:12:55]   acted like that on his show he'd be furious you know he would address that[1:12:59]   he would bring that up we'll show you that coming up but he's been doing a lot[1:13:04]   of stealing he was the one who did the big Carlos Mencia thing that could be[1:13:10]   why Joe Rogan is where he is for exposing Carlos Mencia and steal ya for[1:13:16]   stealing someone's bid well not only has Joe Rogan stolen an entire comedy club[1:13:22]   the Comedy Store but he's also stolen poor Jeremiah Jeremiah's show that he I[1:13:29]   you know Jeremiah thinks he came up with this stand up on the spot where you yell[1:13:32]   out a term and the comics do some stand-up there for some crap weekday[1:13:39]   show I don't know why they just can't do their regular stand-up why does it have[1:13:44]   to be on the spot because it happened once when you were all drunk and it was[1:13:48]   epic or so you thought it was only awesome for you and your comedian friends[1:13:53]   nobody else Jeremiah but Joe Rogan remember Joe Rogan used to go to the[1:13:57]   Comedy Store and he would go oh it was amazing stand up on the spot Shane[1:14:02]   Gillis destroy and it's like did he destroy or were you drunk with your[1:14:08]   friend was the whole room drunk was the whole room drunk and happy to see each[1:14:15]   other possibly the reason why they all destroyed and it was so amazing so Joe[1:14:21]   Rogan has stolen Jeremiah's show that he invented at the Comedy Store which again[1:14:26]   was probably stolen from many other people it's probably been done[1:14:29]   throughout every generation of stand-up somebody has come up with this idea to[1:14:35]   hey we don't do anything we'll just stand on the stage and they'll yell[1:14:37]   stuff out and then if it's not good hey that was on the spot what do you expect[1:14:42]   same money same ticket money so Joe Rogan has stolen this idea poor[1:14:48]   Jeremiah he's just had his second kid he's got no money and you know what we[1:14:55]   might have to start doing a permanent second segment called he doesn't have[1:14:59]   any money because I don't think you guys really understand how many comics[1:15:04]   out there that you would think might even be rich have no money I like to[1:15:10]   focus on a lot of people they don't like to focus on stuff like that where they[1:15:15]   go this guy doesn't have any money let's examine let's see how he got here let's[1:15:19]   laugh at him cuz then you know they go oh I got fans they got no money too[1:15:23]   we're not talking fans you know you got to make this perfectly clear it's okay[1:15:29]   for you to have no money as long as you have the 11 every month but it's not[1:15:35]   okay for people like Eric Griffin Jeremiah Watkins I got these guys on my[1:15:41]   damn TV walking me through my whole life telling me how to live every day you are[1:15:47]   not allowed to be on TV if you have no money and I like to rub that in just[1:15:54]   like I like to pick on people's looks no money bad looks we're gonna focus on[1:16:02]   those it's not about your personality yes very much so too this is big shit[1:16:08]   you know we're still doing it the right way we focus first on your look that's[1:16:12]   how I judge people I see how they look at him he's up to something and that[1:16:19]   doesn't matter if you know they say oh well that's just because he reminds you[1:16:23]   of maybe when you were a kid there was like a villain in a movie that looks[1:16:27]   like this guy so now every guy like this to you is the a bad guy right it doesn't[1:16:32]   matter it's always turns out to be the truth[1:16:37]   that's right it always turns out to be exactly as I thought it was gonna be so[1:16:44]   when I first saw Jeremiah said no no no no no no no no just like I'm gonna say[1:16:48]   with Matt rife coming up today no no no no no no no no no and you can tell you[1:16:53]   look at this asshole he's smiling it's got the hundred dollar smile on what[1:16:58]   does he want well he needs money that's why he's[1:17:03]   smiling like that okay Jeremiah smiles at you the way a Bellman in a luxury[1:17:12]   hotel smiles eat okay he smiles at you with his disingenuous oh I love you you[1:17:21]   love me already you want money oh oh hi that's it if you smile like that I'll[1:17:28]   tell you I never smiled at you like that that is the most Bellman yes and you'll[1:17:34]   see it in his stand-up when he goes it's I call it $100 smile it's where you're[1:17:39]   really you're literally trying to get $100 tip lying to me with that smell[1:17:44]   and it is not people think well how could a smile be negative a smile is[1:17:49]   only a positive Adam not if it's fake fake smiling at somebody is the same as[1:17:55]   being mean to somebody almost a fake smile and I bring you in what are you[1:18:02]   trying to get from me that to me is stealing that's manipulation that's[1:18:09]   marketing and to be a human being that is marketing to other human beings in[1:18:16]   order to manipulate them that's a big problem why I don't like stand-up[1:18:20]   comments they're stealing that laugh from you using manipulations using you[1:18:28]   know there's a they're waving a little clock in front of your eyes they're[1:18:32]   saying you're getting sleepy they're using tricks to access this involuntary[1:18:39]   thing that only God should have access and that is the laugh comedians[1:18:48]   manipulate you out of your laugh that's probably why you don't feel so good[1:18:53]   today did you laugh at a comedian lately it'll leave you with a side effect[1:18:59]   don't do it you could only laugh at organic things like red bar there's[1:19:03]   nothing funny here and once in a while something funny happens you're allowed[1:19:10]   to laugh at that because that came up naturally it wasn't I didn't go okay[1:19:14]   what can I write today to get that shot call my chuckles I must get their laughs[1:19:21]   no I go you show up be yourself and if they laugh it's a positive for them[1:19:29]   because they enjoyed themselves it's not for me oh oh they left why would I care[1:19:35]   if you left all I care is if you paid I don't care if you laugh or you sit[1:19:44]   there shaking the whole show it doesn't matter to me as long as you think the[1:19:48]   show's cool and fortunately today's well you think I was acting cool if you[1:19:54]   think I was acting cool the whole show that's all I want not a laugh the laugh[1:20:00]   is for a psycho never give a man your laugh it's also a homo to do that too[1:20:07]   she don't do it and here's this guy you're gonna sucky on it can you see him[1:20:11]   he's the Bellman no as soon as he turns around that smile goes away as soon as[1:20:15]   you get into your room that smiles off so is he a friendly Bellman or a sneak[1:20:24]   dress him up as a Bellman any needs to be working at the damn Hilton to pay for[1:20:29]   that kid cuz I won't let him that's child abuse to go out there and risk it[1:20:33]   all to be a stand-up-on-the-spot comedian you got two kids two kids that[1:20:38]   I will she was gonna say no please no I thought you were done I thought you're[1:20:43]   done please it was rude of me to even know it really was I've been dying to[1:20:47]   hear what you have to say say it no please don't say it's too built up now[1:20:55]   I can't you can't Jeremiah you are a sneaky fuck and I am going to make sure[1:21:03]   you lose those kids you're gonna help me everybody the goal to get those kids[1:21:09]   taken legally by DCFS Child Protective Services you hear that Jeremiah this[1:21:16]   ain't your average comedy show our goal is to let DCFS know you don't have the[1:21:24]   funds okay you're gonna move from California that is child abuse if you[1:21:29]   don't have money to feed your kids you can't live in California and do comedy[1:21:33]   every night sorry you got to move somewhere cheap and get a job otherwise[1:21:39]   it's child abuse it's your kids need to be rich they cannot if just fine okay[1:21:48]   and I'm sure they'll be fine somehow everyone's kids are fine as much as I[1:21:54]   pray and wish they never get taken so I'm sure everybody will be a great dad[1:21:59]   it must not be very hard to be a dad if these guys could all do it if Chris D[1:22:02]   Stefano and Bert Kreischer and all these guys have these wonderful kids that are[1:22:07]   all clean and they have money how hard could it be if Ethan Klein could raise[1:22:13]   two kids without one of them dying how hard could it be I mean he's the biggest[1:22:17]   retired that's online Ethan Klein so I'm so sick of parents pretending they're[1:22:23]   doing a damn all right that was a big intro for something that could be really[1:22:28]   small here he is Jeremiah one isn't really small he actually yeah this is[1:22:33]   very easy I think this is insane as fuck it's not small because you know[1:22:37]   there's a Jeremiah every ten guys you'll meet is one of these Jeremiah's okay so[1:22:42]   it could relate to you could use this information say I've clicked on about a[1:22:47]   hundred stand up on the spots over the last few yeah this is the first time it[1:22:52]   is the first in my tracks this is the first time so we're gonna watch this[1:22:55]   together we're gonna watch Jeremiah's almost full set here and and then I want[1:23:02]   to see the full thing here we go Stan stand up on the spot with Jeremiah I[1:23:07]   love it take it away new episodes of stand up on the spot come out every[1:23:12]   other Monday hit that subscribe button leave a like and a comment thanks so[1:23:15]   much for the support[1:23:18]   what an astronaut the belly room presents stand up on the spot[1:23:30]   here's your nose[1:23:33]   yeah[1:23:39]   comedy store how we doing tonight[1:23:45]   what's up everybody I'm your host Jeremiah Watkins and who's never seen[1:23:50]   stand up on the spot before all right so we the comedians are coming up here[1:23:57]   we the comedians so here he is Jeremiah wonders wearing a pink sleeveless hoodie[1:24:10]   some asshole probably thinks I would wear something like this based on what[1:24:14]   they've seen me wear someone probably thinks I would wear I would never wear a[1:24:18]   sleeveless hoodie of a no-name brand they have to be a big brand you have to[1:24:25]   be at least teddy fresh level or higher for me to wear something this is this[1:24:30]   is from my target target you know they took a stab in the dark with this one[1:24:34]   didn't I really don't like it when the bottom still has the ribbed thing I[1:24:37]   think it should be like a t-shirt like a cut-off bottom if you're gonna cut off[1:24:41]   the sleeves oh really yeah the bottom okay should be cut off maybe they should[1:24:45]   cut triangles in it you know to make it more like a Flintstones thing that's how[1:24:51]   I like I take hoodies I cut triangles in the arms triangles down below and I walk[1:24:55]   around booga booga so here he is we're in this fucking hoodie this is enough[1:25:01]   let me tell you guys this is enough if you see a guy who looks like this that's[1:25:05]   enough to hate him for life you were right that's not you there's not a[1:25:10]   problem with you you know how you just see it got like we'll see with Matt Rife[1:25:13]   coming up you hate Matt Rife just because of how he looks that came first[1:25:19]   so this is what I was saying when I first saw Jeremiah look at someone like[1:25:22]   this I go I hate him and then it turns out I was right so look at his hair I[1:25:29]   mean that is the most putrid haircut you could have you know who had this[1:25:33]   haircut when he was a kid the guy from poltergeist when he was a kid the old[1:25:42]   man the guy from what's that movie where they shoot knives out phantasm 3 this[1:25:50]   hair is so fucking disgusting like I can't even[1:25:57]   is that not the sickest fucking hair is this not the sickest man it's easy to[1:26:02]   draw that hairstyle would be easy to draw so that's one good thing about it I[1:26:08]   just can't believe he's doing yeah very easy to drive and then yeah it almost[1:26:13]   looks like a bad kids drawing of a newsman's hair and then of course yes[1:26:18]   this purple pink and you know the these cheap cheap what do they call this wash[1:26:27]   ribs on the gene extremely cheap gene okay so that's enough where yes you're[1:26:36]   allowed to hate him for life based on this frame but you're gonna hate him for[1:26:42]   eternity when you hear what he's done take it prepared material we're gonna[1:26:46]   ask you guys the audience for suggestions you're gonna yell stuff out[1:26:49]   and then we're gonna create stand up on the spot who's ready to kick this thing[1:26:52]   off what do you say huh listen to this this kills me I like what do we got was[1:27:01]   it with some suggestions we got breaking back this so funny just said[1:27:05]   that dude so here it is he goes right into it he's the host and first comic[1:27:09]   jumps right in to stand up on the spot so you hear guy yells that he wants[1:27:13]   breaking bad okay let's see what happens this thing off what do you say[1:27:16]   huh I like what do we got was some suggestions we got breaking back this[1:27:28]   so funny just said that dude oh this is I just got into that show so he gets a[1:27:35]   laugh just by saying I just got into that show they go haha cuz they're[1:27:39]   dying to laugh these drunks at the Comedy Store right now imagine these[1:27:43]   suckers the Comedy Store it's on the Sunset Strip in Los Angeles California[1:27:48]   so it's all tourists they're walking down the ever-famous Sunset Strip[1:27:53]   they've heard about it from songs and movies and they've been they see all the[1:27:57]   Comedy Store whoa the Comedy Store all I've heard is how the legends perform at[1:28:03]   the Comedy Store so they get in line and they go oh one ticket tonight and they[1:28:08]   think they're gonna be seeing Dave Chappelle Howie Mandel they think[1:28:13]   they're gonna be in that big room and then they get ushered by some guy some[1:28:17]   doorman of course give it up for the door all the wonderful doorman[1:28:21]   Ari Shafir started as a doorman oh so he's crazy so but then imagine you get[1:28:30]   seated for this you're from out of town you just think this is a comedy club I'm[1:28:35]   coming I'm seeing stand-up comedy right you don't know what the difference is[1:28:39]   between these little shows and these little rooms so you get ushered into[1:28:42]   this room and then it's you and 80 other people in the smallest room they have[1:28:47]   which I guarantee they thought they were going to the big room that they've seen[1:28:50]   on TV from the specials right that's what you would think right if if you[1:28:54]   were a tourist you go to the Comedy Store you're imagining it's gonna be[1:28:57]   that room you see on TV with the neon lights right of course you're not gonna[1:29:01]   think there's even another room and so then they go look at this guy and[1:29:06]   especially when they call it the belly room you go the belly that must be huge[1:29:10]   I can't wait the belly of the Beast the big room so they name it the belt and[1:29:17]   then you come in and it's just Jeremiah wonders telling you how none of the[1:29:22]   material tonight has been prepared and you're here to yell stuff imagine so[1:29:26]   you're sitting there and you're already half disinterested as it is right you're[1:29:32]   already half hating this you kind of feel like you've been duped but you're[1:29:35]   putting it on yourself because you didn't look into it you don't know about[1:29:38]   it and you said yes when they said I'll stand up on the spot on the belly room[1:29:42]   so they're kind of like okay whatever I'll sit through this and then so just[1:29:50]   imagine that's the scene that's the scene all right here it is you're gonna[1:29:54]   love this full set from Jeremiah wonders this is what's happening I just[1:30:00]   got into that joke I resisted for as long as I could then now every time I[1:30:10]   hear bitch mr. Heisenberg oh I was already furious we were watching this[1:30:19]   but I'm gonna go mr. Heisenberg it's mr. white so somebody else up breaking[1:30:26]   but he says he just started watching it probably because of morals he was too[1:30:31]   afraid to watch it too scary for him so then he starts doing this Jesse[1:30:35]   impression call it a mr. Heisenberg it's gonna go nuts when he hears now I could[1:30:41]   call him it would be very funny for me if I start calling Heisenberg mr.[1:30:45]   Heisenberg of course classic red bar very accepted he's not doing this on[1:30:51]   purpose look at that salesman smile and he's supposed to be doing a Jesse[1:30:56]   impression this is a Jesse and existed for as long as I could then I now[1:31:02]   nothing bitch mr. Heisenberg oh dude oh love it I love it these guys are what[1:31:16]   I'm the spy so they were really and it actually is scary like you'll see[1:31:22]   moments where it's really scary cuz it's like dude you have to say something[1:31:26]   right like I don't know if you really understood that you're doing this[1:31:30]   Jeremiah you've just put yourself on the spot and yes maybe on an amazing[1:31:37]   night when you and all your friends are the perfect drunk and everything's[1:31:41]   rolling maybe it works then but to do this every week you're really I'm[1:31:47]   seriously like you're putting yourself into a giant hole and Jeremiah you are[1:31:53]   not smart enough to dig yourself out of it so we're gonna watch a lot of panic[1:31:59]   made it decisions be made tonight and no matter how big he tries to smile[1:32:07]   through that nose it does not work that is the face of pure terror and panic[1:32:14]   remember his kids are sitting at home waiting to see how much extra he's[1:32:18]   brought home tonight it's just not a lot not much okay he's making probably $25[1:32:24]   to do this mr. Heisenberg oh dude oh love it I love it I'm just finding[1:32:36]   myself turning into Jesse Binkman no just like the more I watch it my wife's[1:32:41]   like I didn't cook dinner and I'm like what are you talking about we gotta cook[1:32:48]   well that's funny to me because of the situation with the food you need[1:32:54]   what are you talking about we gotta cook and then he dies laughing and the crowd[1:32:59]   still thinks there might be hope for tonight so they're kind of you know[1:33:03]   doing their fake I will give you any laugh you need thing but those laughs[1:33:09]   are gonna start down also Jesse doesn't tell Walt that they need to cook Walt[1:33:14]   tells Jesse that they need to cook yeah so it's all off everything you're saying[1:33:20]   is confused I mean he's trying really hard remember there's a gun against the[1:33:27]   back of his head he has to do the bit that they yeah talking about we gotta[1:33:33]   cook this gets really good what no I'm not gonna do better than that next[1:33:43]   suggestion have you thought he fucking killed so he really thought that one was[1:33:52]   a good one so imagine the ones we've missed where he's done so bad you know[1:33:56]   this was the opening remark do Breaking Bad and he just did this terrible Jesse[1:34:01]   impression mr. Heisenberg we need to cook and then he really thought that you[1:34:08]   know he pulled that one over and he congratulates himself I'm not gonna do[1:34:14]   better than that next suggestion I felt pretty good with the breaking bands[1:34:18]   enough I really was on a semi-high thinking dude this is gonna be an[1:34:23]   awesome show I fucking out of the gate I fucking crushed that you did not crush[1:34:28]   that but you got our attention and then we see this suggestion that felt pretty[1:34:36]   good when the breaking man stuff I'm missing sleeves tonight if you didn't[1:34:40]   notice okay what else we got eggplants I just think of penises this is what he[1:34:49]   says that emoji has ruined that sweet vegetable for me I used to think of egg[1:34:56]   plants associated with Italian cuisine and now I just think about it as other[1:35:02]   kind of cuisine yeah there's certain fruits that have just been ruined by the[1:35:10]   emojis watch that's true man you know like what's another one peaches the[1:35:20]   bite the bite it's on my what if I want to go to the grocery store and just get[1:35:27]   peaches I can't text my wife that I'm going to the grocery store for some[1:35:33]   peach no no no no no and he knows he knows no no no but as long as there a[1:35:45]   light laugh as long as the people are still seated it's good enough for him[1:35:51]   think he's got to be tricking himself cuz why is he doing this I mean these[1:35:55]   aren't good enough jokes to be performing let alone to film these these[1:36:00]   are being filmed and to force people to pay on their night off while they're on[1:36:06]   vacation in Hollywood for them to sit there and pay 50 bucks to see the[1:36:11]   streets probably yeah this is no different than when you go to Times[1:36:15]   Square and they scam you and they say Jerry Seinfeld is gonna be at the club[1:36:18]   and then you get there and it's Jeremy Steinfeld you know and he's not even a[1:36:24]   guy from the comedy scene laughs New York of course does this gas digital[1:36:29]   all right so let's hear some more from Jeremiah's killing it what if oh the[1:36:33]   emojis have been ruined I can't look at the eggplant anymore right and I can't[1:36:38]   even go to the grocery store to buy peaches cuz I have no money that's what[1:36:43]   he should have said I can't even go to the grocery store I'm broke text my wife[1:36:47]   that I'm going to the grocery store for some peach I like the grocery store is[1:36:54]   on the mind though for this guy groceries have been honest right didn't[1:36:58]   he do something food related think we have to cook cook we have to cook the[1:37:03]   grocery store I mean really this is bad I mean they're splitting it's like[1:37:10]   they're taking that razor blade and slicing the slice of bread six times he[1:37:14]   has food insecurity food insecurity is a nicer way to that's fine his family is[1:37:22]   food insecure we should buy them some sort of food but it backfires on them[1:37:29]   something like a nice basket let's get him a nice basket of some praying food[1:37:35]   and he's just gonna eat anything people send him that's harmful to the baby all[1:37:41]   right and the baby should be eating baby food I think now not Ritz he was[1:37:47]   actually trying to feed that newborn two days old a writ all right let's see[1:37:53]   what happens hmm oh I hate that face we're gonna Amazon Prime today yeah[1:38:03]   wait wait wait you gotta hear the end of this joke listen to this yeah I'm gonna[1:38:08]   go to the grocery store alright and I can't text my wife I want peaches[1:38:11]   because of the peach emoji it's a but now she'll think I'm talking about an[1:38:16]   ass and of course the joke ain't no sense you wouldn't text your wife about[1:38:22]   you know the fruit you're gonna buy unless it is a big family decision that[1:38:25]   you gotta go over with her I'm thinking about buying two peaches do we have the[1:38:31]   money call the accountant so maybe that's okay maybe the joke does make[1:38:38]   sense to him but in this joke he's calling his wife at the grocery store[1:38:40]   and saying I'm gonna buy some peaches but using the peach emoji she sees that[1:38:45]   uh-oh he's cheating and then he wraps up the joke by saying this listen to[1:38:52]   this I'm gonna go to the grocery store and just get peaches I can't text my[1:38:57]   wife that I'm going to the grocery store for some peach hell yeah as if you could[1:39:06]   get any of that hmm we're gonna Amazon Prime today we're gonna Amazon Prime[1:39:14]   today sorry nope is there a grocery service on Amazon Prime I doubt that[1:39:23]   he's using that we're gonna Amazon Prime today so you[1:39:28]   couldn't think of instacart you couldn't even think of doordash or[1:39:32]   uber eats we're gonna Amazon Prime it tonight where the other things the idea[1:39:40]   grocery app or a cord or something yeah you need a cord hmm we're gonna Amazon[1:39:50]   Prime today what else we got what other suggestions[1:39:55]   sweat shops man you said that's so cool man huh sweat shops sweat shops drop[1:40:04]   tops you sound like a SoundCloud rapper who's about to drop sweat drives[1:40:11]   drive to oh no no my joy is on the tops you into him you pro or against how[1:40:23]   dare you have it you can't say do you have an iPhone huh you're pro that's[1:40:32]   why they called the iPhone pros Jeremiah no your boys like in this crowd[1:40:41]   up here celebrating over that shit I mean so we must get a lot less than this[1:40:51]   he gets like the genius remember this isn't a starter comic this guy has been[1:40:58]   around for 15 years iPhone people are calling for Woodward in the chat yes[1:41:07]   please I would that might be Woodward maybe Woodward is enjoying this that[1:41:12]   together I thought they were calling Woodward to action yeah we do need to[1:41:16]   call but Woodward's already there he's already been manipulated he loves it[1:41:19]   this is our listener Danny Woodward of course he snuck in to break his legs[1:41:25]   he's just playing along until that big smile turns into a stone cold serious[1:41:30]   Danny Woodward he's been doing up his eyebrows this is yeah it looks good[1:41:40]   that is not Danny Woodward okay does he will make me clarify that yes I'll be[1:41:48]   like why are you telling that was me telling people that was me it's one of[1:41:53]   our listeners did he would you guys like to be one of them one of our named[1:41:57]   listeners a name a listener sign up today you might become one of our bot[1:42:03]   name listeners you know that are named and talked about all right let's see[1:42:09]   what Jeremiah's got first listener said that comes to your head right now first[1:42:12]   listeners I'm gonna come to your head just spit one out Wow[1:42:16]   tougher than I thought the first first one just close your eyes Matt rye[1:42:23]   that's the first one that came up that's an old oldy-goldy old listener it wasn't[1:42:30]   even around long all right let's see what happens yeah I love a name listener[1:42:35]   we're looking for a new group of kids to name and to reference throughout the[1:42:41]   years okay those guys are too old now no that's not true they don't get[1:42:46]   replaced you just add more well they're getting all I'm saying they're getting[1:42:51]   old they're writing to me Mike I would like to not be mentioned on the show[1:42:54]   it's causing problems for my office all right let's see what he does next your[1:43:03]   boys like in this crowd up here what else we got one other suggestions Guy[1:43:12]   Fieri I mean if cocaine was a person next suggestion what do we got up here[1:43:22]   the fuck that's not good enough Alaska Alaska next suggestion why that's what's[1:43:31]   fun about this show is it's so freeform that if you're not jiving with something[1:43:36]   it's no offense to the person yelling out the suggestion but we're gonna[1:43:38]   politely pass sometimes laugh at that guys well what did they say traveling[1:43:48]   Americans well well well nice to meet you what about traveling Americans it[1:43:58]   sounds like you're doing a travel show right now where are you visiting from[1:44:06]   Australia very cool how long are you in the States for week and a half so cool[1:44:15]   how Australian people tell her we can all there's a great payoff coming[1:44:22]   Americans traveling do you get upset when you see the way that Americans[1:44:27]   travel over in Australia do you think you know you don't want to see Jeremiah[1:44:35]   Wow we have the opposite mentality in America I just met her I comes at 740[1:44:48]   oh really I can't remember what it's only 529 here yeah that's what I'm[1:44:54]   saying so you could play a little more you could skip seven minutes if you[1:44:57]   want yeah let's see what happens here when he wanted to play house this is[1:45:04]   the sister he he always wanted to be the wife and I was like I was like Alan I[1:45:10]   don't know how to tell you this you get you only like the shirtless[1:45:15]   WrestleMania men action figures and you want to be the wife and the relationship[1:45:20]   you want to smack down on that butthole that's what you want let's do one more[1:45:32]   suggestion there we go dolphins okay so some of you know where we're going with[1:45:42]   this a long long time ago a comedian named Brian Redman made a tweet it was a[1:45:54]   joke about how jolfins fuck people oh really dude I don't think it was a tweet[1:46:03]   I thought it was in one of his specials or his could have been in both Brian[1:46:07]   Redman was the first comedian that we have noticed come up with this joke[1:46:13]   dolphins fuck people and then of course what happened a few years down the line[1:46:19]   really dude another Comedy Store regular Chris D'Elia who has done hundreds and[1:46:28]   hundreds of shows at the Comedy Store with Brian Redman does this joke in his[1:46:35]   special you guys might remember this dolphins fuck people that's a real thing[1:46:42]   that's a real thing that I didn't make up dolphins fuck people okay so when[1:46:46]   Chris does this joke by the way his voice back then was crazy yo boy tell[1:46:52]   you dolphins are fuck people does she do it that thick anymore that's Logan Paul[1:46:58]   that's where Logan Paul got his voice from so he does this dolphins fuck[1:47:04]   people and Brian Redband sees this remember this and maybe this is why I'm[1:47:08]   thinking of a tweet then Brian Redband tweets claiming that or alluding to[1:47:14]   Chris stealing his job word for word this joke dolphins fuck people dolphins[1:47:22]   fuck people hey are you listening to me how come you[1:47:26]   are not running around that's insane how about if I say it like this it's way[1:47:32]   scarier this way dolphins fuck some of us yeah how is that not something that[1:47:37]   everybody knows and thinks about all of the time teach in school teach in[1:47:42]   school dolphins fuck us dude okay show so we're remember this watching stand up[1:47:51]   on the spot we're watching stand up on the spot and what gets yelled out around[1:47:56]   the slide into the ring let's do one more suggestion and we immediately start[1:48:05]   going so we pause here and we're at home and he takes his time he's looking down[1:48:10]   look at him so they yell out dolphins he goes dolphins and we're going[1:48:14]   dolphins fuck people dolphins screaming at the screen dolphins fuck people don't[1:48:17]   say no way we're sitting here we're like cuz he takes his time you'll see there's[1:48:22]   like a 10-second pause of him deciding whether or not to steal two of his[1:48:29]   friends Joe so this is what we're gonna be seeing in real time here[1:48:35]   Jeremiah has dolphins get thrown out now he's fully aware Chris's bit and he's[1:48:42]   fully aware that Chris stole that bit from Redband why because he worked with[1:48:50]   Redband on Kill Tony for years and years and years he was very close with Redband[1:48:56]   and that was Redband's big thing that Chris D'Elia stole my joke everybody[1:49:02]   knew about this he knew about it Jeremiah so let's watch Jeremiah decide[1:49:09]   decide on whether or not he should steal the joke that he knows Chris stole and[1:49:16]   at this point from Redband when someone says dolphins all anyone in the world[1:49:19]   think of now as dolphins fuck people so that's probably filling up his mind and[1:49:25]   we've seen this on Twitter if you type in dolphins to Twitter dolphins fuck[1:49:29]   people will be in a joke it's not a good joke everybody knows this we knew it's[1:49:32]   not a good job so let's see will he steal from my friend the sunset strip[1:49:40]   comedy club owner Brian Redband close personal email correspondence person[1:49:47]   with me will he do this to Redband and should[1:49:51]   Redband be a for informed let's find out dolphins okay do it don't do it and[1:50:04]   we're sitting there again we're sitting there going if he does dolphins felt[1:50:07]   like I'm gonna lose my mind I'm gonna lose it if he actually says it and[1:50:11]   really he can't cuz he knows it's Redband's joke he knows who the Chris[1:50:14]   deleting there's no way he's gonna do it that's why he's taking so long cuz[1:50:19]   he's like fuck what I got you know I can't say dolphins fuck you I know I[1:50:23]   can't do that that would be stand up on the spot can't just be stealing other[1:50:27]   people's bits who work at this very stage surely it can't be that what will[1:50:32]   he do if a dolphin we're on the edge of our[1:50:40]   she did me from behind dolphins fuck people he chose it and look at the[1:50:50]   decision process here one more time watch this watch this decision-making[1:50:54]   see one more suggestion watch it in real time here dolphins okay if a[1:51:10]   dolphin did me from behind you didn't know that dolphins they they have sex[1:51:22]   like with people unwilling with people he don't want to say fuck dolphins have[1:51:28]   sex with people oh really dude Chris so it's a red band[1:51:34]   here's the job didn't know that dolphins they they have sex like water on the[1:51:39]   willy to feed his kids he steals from that's an actual fact about dolphins[1:51:44]   they force themselves on people and they get their dolphin rocks off Oh Chris[1:51:50]   even does it I think and then you know he knows you think a walk of shame is[1:51:56]   bad speaking of walk of fucking shame look at his face you can see this you[1:52:03]   know this is the face of a guy who knows dude I just broke the cardinal world[1:52:08]   account I'm on the same stage that Joe Rogan confronted Carlos man Celia on[1:52:15]   about stealing jokes and here I am stealing Brian red bands Joe Brian email[1:52:24]   me email me everybody tell red band cut this up into a million pieces believe me[1:52:29]   this is gonna cause real waves across the comedy landscape and then you know[1:52:37]   you think a walk of shame is bad oh that's what you're doing now a swim of[1:52:49]   shame is that your way back to this gonna shave it I mean that is next[1:52:56]   level but me I would tell everybody I would be like yeah yeah a dolphin wanted[1:53:03]   this I would be proud of course you know I'd be nursing myself back to[1:53:08]   health and stuff like that but I would be like smile I still got it guys who's[1:53:14]   ready to kick this thing off what do you say[1:53:21]   all right I'm very excited to bring this next meeting to the stage I've known[1:53:26]   this guy for you're in big trouble Jeremiah Jeremiah walkin steals tell[1:53:33]   everybody and of course anytime we expose somebody tell everybody that's[1:53:39]   one of our sayings here you know rub it in their face make them feel humiliated[1:53:44]   for what they've attempted remember we do not welcome attempts here at red bar[1:53:50]   when you're trying to get out of something we we see what you're doing[1:53:54]   there and we do not appreciate the lie all right there it was Jeremiah Watkins[1:54:00]   I love these Jeremiah in the wilds even if it's just as simple as a block let me[1:54:06]   know and DM or message you know about messaging I had kind of told you guys oh[1:54:14]   I'm getting too many messages right it's eaten up too much of my time right[1:54:18]   remember I said this I was complaining about I was getting too many messages[1:54:21]   and my thing is I like to get back to everybody on message I like to read the[1:54:26]   messages socialize with the people and but it was becoming overwhelming where[1:54:32]   it would be a four-hour block every day to keep up with messages or if you try[1:54:37]   to wait once a week then it's it's like a whole day process to get messages so[1:54:42]   I made some comments here and it worked I get a lot less messages however it's[1:54:52]   only last messages from all the good people you understand what I'm saying so[1:55:02]   all the people who are gonna tell me something good or that were normal[1:55:06]   they've heard the message loud and clear they're not gonna send me any messages[1:55:10]   I'm not gonna bother Mike I'm normal I'm sane so what does that leave it leads[1:55:16]   the people that don't comply to this obvious plea from me so now when I go to[1:55:29]   check my messages sure it's a few less but they're all the craziest that we[1:55:40]   have no I'm kidding they've been very nice but please this is I'm begging for[1:55:44]   everybody to get back into the messaging swing of things and my[1:55:50]   messages are now open to everybody I'm not gonna be bothered well please[1:55:53]   because all the messages I get now are you know like I said so I hope that[1:56:00]   doesn't offend anybody out there you're ready to email with I was wrong I'm[1:56:04]   ready to email with you we got to even this thing out because now it's just a[1:56:08]   doomsday of stuff instead of a mixed day of good and bad okay and not that hey if[1:56:16]   you've messaged me within the last three weeks don't think I'm talking about you[1:56:19]   we're talking about a way worse guy than you okay there's just a general average[1:56:25]   so again you know when you start doing stuff like that it's going to bite you[1:56:32]   in the ass okay that's what I want you to take away from that give it a year[1:56:36]   so it is season 21 we've made it and we've got a new our slogan for this year[1:56:45]   is gonna be oh yeah there's no way of doing this this is all it says on the[1:56:50]   sheet chili peppers parody give it a year give it a year give it a year now[1:56:55]   give it a year give it a year give it a year now so when people ask about red[1:57:01]   bar that's how I would like you to say it thank you man today's up on the spot[1:57:06]   everybody give it a year give it a year give it a year now give it a year give[1:57:11]   it a year give it a year now it's very like that's the new slogan I gotta have[1:57:15]   I've been taking these kids multi you could show the close-up there these kids[1:57:19]   multi probiotic gummies I found for my money you know I'm like and I like[1:57:25]   gummies but I'm on a health thing right now I'm trying to keep my sugar down so[1:57:29]   I found that it's probably better to just eat the kids vitamin gummies[1:57:37]   they're just as good as like a Welch's or something like that and that way you[1:57:42]   can eat as many as you want and it's got look at vitamin A all this stuff in here[1:57:47]   so I like to get a nice handful of these go to that close-up Jules people[1:57:56]   and put some music on and let's do some kids multivitamin[1:58:07]   thank you Jules[1:58:12]   we'll be right back in a moment with much more red bar don't touch you don't[1:58:17]   know I'm not spitting these out[1:58:23]   is she with you tonight it's a sorry I'm taking walk away with a smile[1:58:33]   we'll be right back[1:58:37]   you love my life[1:58:41]   you make it hard[1:58:45]   sound[1:59:15]   La la like you, la la la like you[1:59:19]   What do I do, there's nobody like you[1:59:22]   La la like you, la la la like you[1:59:34]   I run into you everywhere[1:59:37]   But you push me away[1:59:41]   Doesn't mean you're still with her[1:59:44]   She convinced you to stay[1:59:48]   I know it's wrong but[1:59:50]   I cannot help it[1:59:56]   I know it's wrong but[1:59:57]   I cannot take it[2:00:15]   I know it's wrong but[2:00:17]   There's nobody like you[2:00:29]   La la like you, la la la like you[2:00:34]   La la like you, la la la like you[2:00:38]   What do I do, there's nobody like you[2:00:47]   episode, season 21, episode two, season 21, episode two.[2:00:54]   Welcome, thank you.[2:00:55]   Consider joining the Scars Club[2:00:57]   at redbarradio.net slash Scars Club.[2:01:00]   Thank you very much.[2:01:02]   Michael Ray Bauer.[2:01:04]   Michael Ray Bauer, the guy Donkey Lips[2:01:07]   from Salute Your Shorts.[2:01:08]   We've had quite the history with him.[2:01:12]   When did we start covering Michael Ray Bauer?[2:01:15]   Who we don't cover anymore, by the way,[2:01:19]   because he got too actually retarded.[2:01:24]   You ever have that happen?[2:01:26]   Where somebody is too retarded and unhealthy[2:01:30]   that you can't keep picking on them[2:01:34]   because it's like, okay,[2:01:35]   how many times could we watch a video[2:01:38]   about how unhealthy and how unhappy-[2:01:42]   And now I just want him to get better[2:01:43]   and just worry about him every day.[2:01:45]   Exactly, so then it turns in from a fool's watch[2:01:51]   to a, I'm really worried about this guy.[2:01:54]   He can't keep living this way.[2:01:56]   Do you remember Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts,[2:01:58]   the big fat kid?[2:02:00]   Listen, I'm telling you,[2:02:03]   and I know this to be true today,[2:02:05]   just because he weeps, remember he is an actor.[2:02:09]   Please remember Michael Ray Bauer is an actor.[2:02:14]   He was a child star.[2:02:15]   Remember this?[2:02:16]   And it's a great story.[2:02:17]   I mean, HBO really should be doing a Joan is Awful.[2:02:23]   Okay, do you guys know about Streamberry?[2:02:25]   Do you guys have Streamberry?[2:02:27]   Do you watch Joan is Awful on Streamberry?[2:02:30]   This just came out.[2:02:33]   You know what?[2:02:34]   I'm gonna try to take down the Streamberry servers.[2:02:37]   Well.[2:02:38]   Thank you.[2:02:39]   So yes, if Netflix, if HBO were serious,[2:02:42]   they would do a movie about Michael Ray Bauer's life.[2:02:47]   It's perfect.[2:02:48]   He's the child star.[2:02:49]   He got a little too greedy, got a little too lazy,[2:02:53]   and let his Seven Deadly Sins take over.[2:02:58]   And now his life is in Hollywood style,[2:03:02]   classic Hollywood, what is that word?[2:03:07]   He's in his life turned into, yeah,[2:03:11]   the classic Hollywood turmoil story that you've heard.[2:03:15]   You know, the child actor.[2:03:16]   Oh, he was a star.[2:03:17]   He was on pace to be something big.[2:03:19]   And then it all went wrong.[2:03:20]   In this case, he did a lot of eating, okay.[2:03:24]   Got a little too big.[2:03:25]   His mind stopped working.[2:03:28]   And the people, you know,[2:03:30]   the people who have been humoring him his whole life,[2:03:33]   these agents and managers and said,[2:03:34]   I can't work with this guy anymore.[2:03:36]   He's just too, too retarded now.[2:03:40]   You know, there's a level, there's a level.[2:03:43]   And he turned into a little too dirty,[2:03:45]   a little too, you know,[2:03:48]   he's not a professional person anymore, let's just say.[2:03:51]   So we watched Michael Ray Bauer go from hot shot.[2:03:54]   And you know, the reason we started making fun of him[2:03:56]   and following his life in the first place[2:03:59]   is because he was being a hot shot.[2:04:01]   Remember that?[2:04:02]   He was scamming.[2:04:03]   He was selling bootleg copies of Salute Your Shorts[2:04:08]   on DVD, stealing from Viacom.[2:04:11]   I can't sit by and watch somebody steal from Viacom.[2:04:14]   You guys know me.[2:04:16]   Viacom is a very, very important part of my life.[2:04:20]   I can't watch.[2:04:21]   No, but he just had an easier to make fun of personality.[2:04:24]   Like he was out of his head. He was an asshole.[2:04:25]   He was a liar.[2:04:26]   He would be belittling other YouTuber guys[2:04:29]   in the DVD collecting community,[2:04:31]   because he was the big star.[2:04:32]   And he was doing a lot of scheme.[2:04:34]   And let's be perfectly clear.[2:04:36]   Michael Ray Bauer was a schemster.[2:04:39]   You know, that's why he continued to be on our show[2:04:41]   time after time.[2:04:42]   He was like a Denny style scheme tris.[2:04:45]   And recently he has really perfected, you know,[2:04:52]   either he's not doing anything bad anymore,[2:04:55]   or he's gotten really good at hiding doing bad stuff.[2:04:59]   But now it's almost a, you know,[2:05:01]   the character that he portrays himself to be online[2:05:04]   is a character where a lot of people feel really sorry.[2:05:09]   Okay. It's even tricked many members of our own audience[2:05:12]   into feeling bad.[2:05:13]   They want to help him, even Jules,[2:05:16]   even Jules last week after seeing this video said,[2:05:19]   we should help him.[2:05:20]   We should donate to him.[2:05:21]   And I go, oh yeah.[2:05:22]   And what happens when he's right here in this exact spot,[2:05:26]   next month, you can teach a man to eat some.[2:05:30]   He's not gonna learn.[2:05:32]   And at least you can get himself something right.[2:05:32]   Exactly. Well, there you go.[2:05:34]   You just answered it.[2:05:34]   No, no, no, he's not gonna learn.[2:05:36]   So all the people that have been donating[2:05:39]   for the last 10 years, keeping Bauer afloat,[2:05:42]   they're kind of over the donating.[2:05:45]   You know, I can only imagine that it started out[2:05:48]   with a group of donators this big.[2:05:49]   And every month that went by the same people[2:05:52]   can't keep donating over and over again.[2:05:54]   So he's left with very few.[2:05:57]   So few that he is having a silent auction.[2:06:03]   That brings us to the silent auction.[2:06:06]   Now, you know, I understand a lot of people[2:06:10]   want to help this guy out.[2:06:11]   There's no way to help him out.[2:06:13]   They've been helping him out for the last many years.[2:06:18]   I mean, that's all they've been doing.[2:06:20]   He's found this audience of maybe 150 people[2:06:26]   that help him out, that feel bad for him,[2:06:28]   that knew him from the Nickelodeon days.[2:06:30]   They're nerds, they're geeks.[2:06:32]   They love donkey lips.[2:06:34]   And they've been helping him out.[2:06:36]   They've been donating, donating, donating.[2:06:38]   Meanwhile, this guy is living in a one room apartment.[2:06:42]   It can't be more than 300 square feet.[2:06:46]   But he's living in LA.[2:06:47]   He's spending $1,300 a month on his rent still.[2:06:53]   What business does he have spending 13?[2:06:56]   He could have a beautiful house for $1,300 a month,[2:06:58]   just not in the middle of LA.[2:07:01]   He chooses not to do that.[2:07:03]   He sits, he sits and sits and sits, consumes,[2:07:08]   and he doesn't really do anything.[2:07:11]   And as much as we think that's bad,[2:07:15]   we are more so alarmed.[2:07:19]   This segment has to do with us being alarmed, okay?[2:07:23]   That doesn't mean poor Bauer.[2:07:27]   And it doesn't mean, look at this asshole,[2:07:30]   let's harass him.[2:07:31]   It means this is alarming.[2:07:33]   And we don't know how many years of this[2:07:35]   is gonna keep going on.[2:07:37]   And this is getting scary.[2:07:40]   Someone needs to help.[2:07:41]   So I'm here today to announce[2:07:43]   that we will be paying for Bauer[2:07:48]   for the rest of his life.[2:07:49]   It's the only way to keep him afloat.[2:07:52]   If I give him $10,000 now, it'll be gone by tomorrow.[2:07:55]   He'll be in this exact position.[2:07:56]   My only choice is I have to just support him[2:08:00]   as he is my son.[2:08:02]   And for the rest of his life, he just needs to be,[2:08:05]   I just need to look at him as just another bill.[2:08:10]   So, you know, I don't know how much I'll dedicate to this.[2:08:13]   It depends, but he needs to have all the same things as me.[2:08:18]   That's a lot of stuff.[2:08:20]   Everything I own, he gets one.[2:08:22]   A copy of.[2:08:23]   Everything I do, he gets you two.[2:08:26]   So don't come at me and say I was too mean.[2:08:28]   I'm gonna be the only one saving his life.[2:08:30]   Now, this is still,[2:08:31]   this idea of doing that that I just described,[2:08:36]   that's still something I'm deciding on.[2:08:38]   A pre-decision announcement.[2:08:43]   Pre-decision announcement.[2:08:45]   What will I do?[2:08:46]   Will I support him for the rest of his life?[2:08:48]   Or will I watch him slowly, slowly die?[2:08:55]   Yes, someone says he just needs a scars roommate.[2:08:57]   Maybe somebody is willing to let him move in with them.[2:08:59]   They're not willing.[2:09:00]   He'll start taking from the guy's purse.[2:09:03]   He'll start taking from the guy's stuff.[2:09:05]   He steals.[2:09:06]   He can get a little ice cream.[2:09:06]   Exactly, and he's gotten the ice cream.[2:09:08]   This is what everybody doesn't understand.[2:09:10]   This didn't just happen to him last month.[2:09:12]   He's been doing this for now 12 years.[2:09:16]   He's gotten the treats.[2:09:17]   He's gotten the ice cream.[2:09:18]   He's had the special day where he got the $300 donation.[2:09:22]   He went out.[2:09:22]   What did he buy?[2:09:23]   A box, a box set of DVDs.[2:09:27]   He throws it away.[2:09:30]   So you can't feel bad for him all the time.[2:09:32]   And if you do feel bad for him, well, like I said,[2:09:34]   I am considering just paying for his life[2:09:37]   as if he is my son.[2:09:39]   Every bill he has, every meal that he wants to go eat,[2:09:43]   if he needs extra money, cars,[2:09:45]   whatever he needs, homes, it's on me.[2:09:50]   We'll show you a couple of things that Bower's been doing.[2:09:52]   He's actually been very cute lately.[2:09:55]   Incredibly.[2:09:56]   He's been incredibly cute.[2:09:57]   This note that I have here is Michael Ray Bower,[2:10:01]   cute moment, cute Michael Ray Bower moment.[2:10:04]   Let's go to Facebook and see what happened here.[2:10:08]   Oh yeah, this is a good one.[2:10:10]   Cute Michael Ray Bower moment.[2:10:13]   Yeah, Conrad Ferris post this.[2:10:16]   And he says, this must be scripted.[2:10:20]   It's so good.[2:10:20]   So let's see what it is.[2:10:22]   This is just a moment from Michael Ray Bower.[2:10:23]   Remember, we are not harassing him.[2:10:26]   This is, you just have to see stuff like this[2:10:29]   when it comes across your desk.[2:10:31]   Okay, here he is.[2:10:33]   Michael Ray Bower, cute moment.[2:10:34]   We'll start with that first.[2:10:36]   Oh yeah, let's get this show started.[2:10:40]   Even though I honestly have a lot of turmoil in my life,[2:10:43]   I live a depressed lifestyle[2:10:45]   and I struggle every day just to wake up[2:10:47]   and be alive with my health,[2:10:49]   my mental health and everything else.[2:10:51]   We are having a blessed day of life.[2:10:54]   I live a depressed lifestyle.[2:10:57]   That is the cutest fucking thing I've ever heard.[2:11:00]   Don't you just want to help him?[2:11:02]   Welcome to the show.[2:11:04]   Even though I live in turmoil,[2:11:05]   I do live a depressed lifestyle.[2:11:11]   A depressed lifestyle.[2:11:13]   You got to hear that again.[2:11:15]   Oh yeah, let's get this show started.[2:11:19]   Even though I honestly have a lot of turmoil in my life,[2:11:22]   I live a depressed lifestyle[2:11:24]   and I struggle every day just to wake up[2:11:26]   and be alive with my health,[2:11:28]   my mental health and everything else.[2:11:30]   We are having a blessed day of life.[2:11:33]   So that, yeah, that's too cute to not show, okay?[2:11:38]   Doesn't matter if he's actually retarded now or what.[2:11:41]   Remember he didn't start out actually retarded.[2:11:44]   He started out just as retarded as the black guy[2:11:46]   from the Netflix smoke barbecue competition.[2:11:51]   There's a big fat black guy[2:11:53]   on the new Netflix barbecue competition show.[2:11:56]   He's basically what Bauer was[2:11:58]   before Bauer turned more retarded, okay?[2:12:03]   So remember when we started picking on Bauer,[2:12:04]   he was just didn't the right amount of retarded[2:12:08]   where this flew, this was okay.[2:12:10]   All right, so we saw the cute Michael Ray Bauer moment.[2:12:12]   Now we're going to see the part that, you know,[2:12:15]   and again, could this be a manipulation?[2:12:19]   How is this going to work?[2:12:21]   I mean, I don't think so.[2:12:21]   He needs money.[2:12:22]   This seems complicated.[2:12:23]   Well, I'll tell you.[2:12:25]   And I wanted to show this[2:12:26]   because I actually thought[2:12:27]   this was a really innovative idea.[2:12:29]   Extremely innovative.[2:12:30]   He's making leaps and bounds in the art of auction.[2:12:33]   Move over Elon Musk.[2:12:38]   Yeah, this is a little bit more convoluted[2:12:40]   than the blue check thing rollout was on Twitter,[2:12:45]   but it's innovative.[2:12:48]   And I think it's going to make up a lot of money[2:12:49]   just like the blue checks program[2:12:52]   ended up making Twitter a lot of money.[2:12:55]   They made $2,800 off that.[2:12:57]   All right, so is it this first link here?[2:12:59]   Yeah, I just moved it for you.[2:13:00]   So this is called selling my soul swallow pride month.[2:13:06]   Swallow pride month.[2:13:08]   That's cute.[2:13:09]   Silent auction.[2:13:11]   He still got it.[2:13:13]   He still could have a career with lines like that.[2:13:16]   I'm going to treat you to 720p.[2:13:18]   Now I don't know, you know, and I can give him tips.[2:13:21]   I can give him as much as you want along with the cash.[2:13:24]   This is a guy does not know[2:13:25]   that you're supposed to wipe the lens on the phone.[2:13:29]   And it just keeps getting worse and worse.[2:13:31]   Every time we see his videos,[2:13:32]   they're hazier and hazier, harder to see.[2:13:36]   So why is he selling all his belongings[2:13:40]   in a silent auction?[2:13:42]   And can we let this happen?[2:13:43]   That's the decision we're going to make today.[2:13:46]   Do we save him from having to sell all his personal goods?[2:13:50]   Let's hear him out.[2:13:52]   What's going on everybody?[2:13:54]   It's your boy, Michael Ray Haybower.[2:13:56]   First off, do me a favor.[2:13:57]   Please hit that thumbs up, that like, that subscribe button.[2:14:00]   And consider becoming a member of this channel[2:14:02]   for exclusive early content and discounts on merchandise[2:14:07]   and free gifts in the coming days for members only.[2:14:11]   But you can still like and subscribe[2:14:14]   and be a part of this channel no matter what.[2:14:18]   That being said, hit the bell for notifications.[2:14:21]   And if you're feeling fruity, if you would like to support,[2:14:25]   I got donate options down below through PayPal and Venmo[2:14:28]   and some other stuff going on.[2:14:30]   All right, let's talk about today's Monday message.[2:14:33]   It is one of financial truth, transparency and honesty.[2:14:37]   I am struggling.[2:14:38]   I need to pay bills and I need to sell some personal items,[2:14:44]   whether it be from my Nickelodeon history or my career[2:14:49]   or some toys or whatever.[2:14:52]   We are all very familiar with every personal item he has.[2:14:56]   He's done about 25 tours of this one room box[2:15:01]   of all his junk.[2:15:02]   And it's mostly just old pop toys.[2:15:05]   But he loves this stuff.[2:15:06]   Comic book store junk, stuff covered in dust,[2:15:09]   a bunch of old Raiders stuff, autographed pictures[2:15:12]   of Bugsy Malone and all these people that, you know.[2:15:16]   And.[2:15:18]   It means the world to him.[2:15:19]   It does mean the world to him.[2:15:21]   As we've seen, you know, just recently, very interesting.[2:15:24]   He just recently did a room tour showing all his stuff,[2:15:29]   almost as if this has been planned for a while,[2:15:32]   this big auction.[2:15:33]   He wanted to show you all the cool stuff that he's got.[2:15:36]   You get addicted to wanting it[2:15:38]   and wishing you had that stuff that he has.[2:15:41]   And then he hits you with the silent auction a month later[2:15:44]   after you've been wanting and praying[2:15:46]   for the items he has already.[2:15:48]   And he's gonna sell you his own stuff.[2:15:51]   Or is he?[2:15:54]   Let's find out.[2:15:55]   I got lying around and I'm gonna do that[2:15:57]   the entire month of June.[2:15:59]   Okay, so the entire month of June.[2:16:01]   He's selling his stuff.[2:16:01]   I'm calling it silent auction as well for silent items.[2:16:04]   And it's gonna be across various platforms.[2:16:09]   I've never done this before.[2:16:10]   I'm trying to figure it out.[2:16:13]   You know, I'm trying to spread everything[2:16:15]   to all the platforms.[2:16:16]   No, don't do that.[2:16:17]   It's gonna be a lot of work.[2:16:18]   No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.[2:16:19]   Okay, so first he's having an auction.[2:16:24]   Instead of just putting these items on eBay[2:16:27]   so that people could bid on it,[2:16:28]   he is gonna be putting them up separately for sale[2:16:32]   across every social media platform.[2:16:36]   He's already digging himself way too much work.[2:16:39]   So I got to stop him already, please.[2:16:41]   No, I don't know what's wrong with his eBay.[2:16:43]   Did he get banned from eBay?[2:16:45]   What happened that he can't use eBay[2:16:47]   that he's gotta be holding auctions?[2:16:50]   And wait till you hear how this auction's gonna work.[2:16:51]   I've already spread everything to all the platforms.[2:16:54]   We gotta help him.[2:16:55]   It's gonna be a lot of work.[2:16:56]   It's gonna be a lot of work just to sell.[2:16:59]   So this is becoming my real job.[2:17:02]   I can't really do a real job.[2:17:04]   Why?[2:17:05]   My health doesn't persist and I can't manage.[2:17:08]   You can understand that.[2:17:09]   Well, he doesn't have any health problems.[2:17:12]   Just being fat.[2:17:13]   You don't know that.[2:17:14]   He's up and about.[2:17:15]   He's doing it all.[2:17:16]   Maybe there's a secret disease.[2:17:17]   Well, his disease works fine for the camera.[2:17:21]   That's all he offers anyway.[2:17:25]   He's able to do 800 videos[2:17:27]   about how he's living a depression lifestyle.[2:17:31]   His health doesn't persist, okay?[2:17:33]   I'm not gonna question him on that.[2:17:34]   Well, I think his health is fine.[2:17:36]   And if his health is bad,[2:17:37]   let me get him into some doctors.[2:17:39]   Why doesn't he ask for that?[2:17:41]   All right, let's hear it.[2:17:42]   And I don't think his mental health is bad at all.[2:17:44]   You know, it's a day at a place not in my lifestyle.[2:17:49]   But for those of you that do that, I respect you.[2:17:52]   I love you.[2:17:53]   And I appreciate you.[2:17:54]   And I'm proud of you.[2:17:56]   Some of us live a different lifestyle.[2:17:57]   So we have to make money alternative ways[2:18:00]   and we're always gonna be broke.[2:18:02]   So for haters beware, I'm sorry.[2:18:05]   It's my life, but I respect yours and I appreciate you.[2:18:10]   That being said, it's gonna be a silent auction.[2:18:11]   I'm gonna sell mementos from my career, from Nickelodeon.[2:18:16]   Don't do it.[2:18:17]   Like I said, toys.[2:18:19]   This is very similar to the Joey Diaz[2:18:20]   quitting podcasting video that we watched last week[2:18:24]   or the week before.[2:18:25]   You know, these fat guys cannot give up like this.[2:18:29]   So now I'm wondering,[2:18:31]   is he really planning on selling his stuff?[2:18:33]   Or he knows that we know how much his stuff means to him.[2:18:39]   And if he's finally saying, guys, it's come down to this.[2:18:41]   I gotta sell all my stuff.[2:18:43]   Is he hoping that we come out and say, no, no, you can't.[2:18:46]   Please, no, we will help you.[2:18:50]   Let us just donate.[2:18:51]   Don't sell your stuff.[2:18:52]   That's what it made me feel like doing so.[2:18:54]   Yes.[2:18:55]   So let's see, because this auction seems like[2:18:58]   it's gonna be really tough to figure out.[2:19:02]   This is gonna trend bigger[2:19:04]   than the Taylor Swift Ticketmaster debacle[2:19:07]   once this auction goes live,[2:19:08]   because there's gonna be a lot[2:19:09]   of customer dissatisfaction that day.[2:19:12]   Listen to this.[2:19:13]   Some items that I'm gonna have in the silent auction[2:19:16]   are scripts, one-off photographs,[2:19:23]   cast officially autographed photos,[2:19:26]   not reprinted or not photocopied.[2:19:29]   The actual autographed photos by the cast members,[2:19:33]   by all of them.[2:19:34]   You know, it's like one of them.[2:19:36]   Even Sponge?[2:19:37]   He would cost you a lot of money to get that[2:19:40]   if you'd have to go to conventions and find everybody.[2:19:42]   Sponge?[2:19:44]   There's also gonna be t-shirts for sale[2:19:46]   that I'm gonna autograph personally[2:19:47]   from my collection of Camp Anawanna or some other projects.[2:19:52]   I might have some other, a jacket or two, some hats.[2:19:58]   Any underwear?[2:19:59]   There might be some like hidden gems.[2:20:02]   And the way this silent auction is going to work is,[2:20:07]   I'm gonna ask you to go on all the platforms[2:20:09]   like Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube, and subscribe,[2:20:15]   or become a friend of mine on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook,[2:20:20]   and this YouTube.[2:20:22]   Okay, so that's number one.[2:20:24]   You gotta go to all his platforms and become a subscriber[2:20:28]   or a friend of his or a follower on all those platforms.[2:20:32]   Okay.[2:20:33]   And every couple of days while I'm going through my stuff,[2:20:38]   I'll make a post on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter.[2:20:44]   I'm leading you to the product that I'm selling.[2:20:46]   Okay.[2:20:47]   I'm also gonna do exclusive products for members only[2:20:52]   on this YouTube channel in the community page.[2:20:57]   So if you consider becoming a member of this channel,[2:21:01]   you're gonna get exclusive products for sale as well[2:21:07]   on the community page only of this YouTube channel.[2:21:10]   I'm trying to remember.[2:21:10]   The instructions on how to pay and auction and bid[2:21:14]   will be in the description.[2:21:16]   Oh boy.[2:21:17]   And just to let everybody know real quickly,[2:21:19]   the payment options will be through PayPal or Venmo.[2:21:24]   Then I also have a merchandise store[2:21:27]   where I'm also gonna put exclusive products[2:21:30]   in my merchandise.[2:21:31]   So you gotta go all over the internet[2:21:33]   to find this stuff that he's selling.[2:21:35]   I don't know why, again, why can't he use eBay,[2:21:39]   put them all in one place and then put the links, of course.[2:21:42]   Well, maybe he has a new idea[2:21:43]   about how auctions should be done.[2:21:45]   So he's almost trying.[2:21:47]   This could be like an attempt to make people want this stuff.[2:21:51]   It's so hard to get, right?[2:21:53]   It's so limited.[2:21:54]   It's so exclusive that you gotta go on all these things.[2:21:57]   You gotta do all these steps to get it.[2:21:58]   So maybe it's forcing people to wanna be the highest bidder.[2:22:03]   Let's find out.[2:22:05]   And so you have to go to all these Instagram, Facebook,[2:22:14]   my YouTube membership page and my merch store.[2:22:16]   And he's making it sound miserable too.[2:22:18]   He's going, again, I'll reiterate.[2:22:21]   You're gonna have to go to all these sites.[2:22:25]   It's gonna be work.[2:22:27]   Instagram, Twitter, YouTube, special community pages,[2:22:32]   sites that you might not to tell you[2:22:35]   that you should be able to even get to.[2:22:38]   Okay, why are you setting this up so poorly here?[2:22:40]   You need this money.[2:22:42]   Let's hear.[2:22:43]   Or on the daily or every couple of days[2:22:46]   to see what product is on that social media outlet[2:22:52]   to bid for.[2:22:54]   A lot of the products will be on multiple platforms,[2:22:59]   except the one-offs that'll be sold on YouTube[2:23:03]   and my merchandise store.[2:23:05]   All these will be down below to join or find it.[2:23:10]   And I will make a video for each product[2:23:13]   or each thing I'm selling.[2:23:15]   Really?[2:23:16]   Or a memento on YouTube for each product[2:23:21]   to give you a description, to show it to you in a video[2:23:24]   and all that.[2:23:25]   Okay, so now here comes the auction part.[2:23:29]   Whether it be on any of these platforms,[2:23:31]   whether you watch the video on Facebook, Instagram,[2:23:34]   or wherever I post it,[2:23:35]   or it's on the community page on YouTube[2:23:38]   or my merch store, blah, blah, blah.[2:23:39]   If you want to bid on that product,[2:23:43]   again, you're gonna have to contact me.[2:23:46]   Oh boy.[2:23:47]   But in the merchandise store,[2:23:50]   if that item is listed in the merchandise store,[2:23:54]   you can just buy it directly[2:23:56]   at whatever price I have listed.[2:23:59]   That will not be an option.[2:24:00]   If that's what you're just selling, that's not an auction.[2:24:02]   And you can buy that specific item.[2:24:04]   Only one will be available.[2:24:06]   So if you see something that you want[2:24:09]   that looks personal and like a homemade memento,[2:24:13]   you can buy that item, then it's gone.[2:24:15]   Nobody can bid on it, it is yours.[2:24:18]   And it'll be coming in the mail in certain days.[2:24:22]   But now for the items that we bid on through Instagram.[2:24:25]   Here's the bidding process.[2:24:27]   If you're on YouTube or on YouTube in the community tab page,[2:24:30]   you gotta direct message me.[2:24:32]   If you see a product you liked or a memento[2:24:34]   that you wanna buy, I will announce the starting bid.[2:24:38]   So first say I have a starting bid[2:24:41]   and I write that in the post, a starting bid of $50.[2:24:47]   So now if you want that product,[2:24:49]   you know it's $50 or more and you're gonna bid on it.[2:24:52]   Then you go to my direct message on Instagram[2:24:55]   and then you write the name of that product[2:24:57]   like donkey lips or salute your short script[2:25:02]   or dark angel script or donkey lips,[2:25:06]   you know, one of one photo.[2:25:09]   Whatever the product is, you list it in the DM.[2:25:13]   Then you write $52.[2:25:16]   Okay.[2:25:17]   And then I'll get multiple offers[2:25:20]   and I'll let it last for about a week.[2:25:23]   And then at the end of the week[2:25:25]   and I'll give a specific date[2:25:27]   when I'll announce the winner of the auction.[2:25:30]   On that specific date, I will contact that person[2:25:35]   and let them know they won the silent auction.[2:25:38]   People are not gonna know how much is being bid.[2:25:40]   Oh no.[2:25:41]   That's why it's called the silent auction.[2:25:42]   Oh.[2:25:43]   So you bid 52, you have, you know.[2:25:47]   Listen to this.[2:25:48]   So you just have to go in with the highest number possible.[2:25:52]   This is forcing you to go,[2:25:54]   I can't bid 52 because a guy could come in at 54.[2:25:57]   I'm never gonna know about it.[2:25:58]   I'm out.[2:26:00]   And I need this one of one photo.[2:26:03]   You could be pacing your halls for seven days,[2:26:05]   straight worrying if another guy.[2:26:06]   This is genius.[2:26:07]   I don't know if an auction like this takes place.[2:26:10]   So you have to bid,[2:26:11]   but you don't know if you're being outbid.[2:26:13]   So your bid better be high.[2:26:17]   This could be genius.[2:26:19]   So everyone's gonna start with,[2:26:20]   I guess I'll just,[2:26:21]   what is the most I'm willing to spend in the world?[2:26:24]   $10,000.[2:26:26]   Shari you've been outbid by 10,002.[2:26:30]   This is gonna be a lot of work for him though,[2:26:32]   to go through every social media platforms,[2:26:35]   messaging system and gather these numbers and keep track.[2:26:39]   I don't know if this is the best way for him to do this.[2:26:43]   And it's over the course of 15 days.[2:26:46]   And you have to wait a week to see if he decides.[2:26:52]   Yes.[2:26:52]   On you?[2:26:53]   Yes.[2:26:54]   All right, let's hear some more.[2:26:56]   Is he being terminated?[2:26:57]   Five or six, seven days,[2:26:59]   then you can be like, I don't know.[2:27:01]   I think he hasn't contacted me.[2:27:04]   Again, if I,[2:27:05]   I'm not gonna contact people till seven days later[2:27:07]   or six days later.[2:27:08]   Oh my God.[2:27:09]   But you can be like, all right, I'll go up to 55.[2:27:12]   Then you can send me another direct message[2:27:13]   and make it 55.[2:27:15]   And I promise.[2:27:16]   So you have to be,[2:27:17]   so you put in your bid for 52, right?[2:27:19]   What he's saying is,[2:27:21]   within those seven days,[2:27:22]   you should probably send a higher bid[2:27:25]   because odds are people are gonna bid more, right?[2:27:29]   So he's telling you just,[2:27:30]   hey, in three days or so,[2:27:32]   send in another bid.[2:27:34]   Again, you're not gonna know what,[2:27:37]   that bid could be even lower, you know?[2:27:39]   So very confusing, huh?[2:27:43]   Especially when you need to make some quick cash[2:27:46]   to get the rent paid.[2:27:47]   This is a ton of work for him.[2:27:50]   But I would like to bid on his stuff[2:27:53]   and let him keep it.[2:27:55]   Well, this is what we're gonna do.[2:27:57]   So I've come up with a plan.[2:27:59]   I'm gonna buy the lot of it.[2:28:01]   I'm gonna buy it all.[2:28:02]   Then we're gonna put it all in a pile here in the studio[2:28:06]   and make a video of us setting it on fire.[2:28:09]   And then filing a chargeback on all the purchases.[2:28:15]   We didn't get nothing we say.[2:28:17]   Take them away, the courts.[2:28:20]   But then- As he watches[2:28:21]   all of his stuff burn.[2:28:23]   But then it would be,[2:28:25]   that's just a fake prop stuff that we burned in.[2:28:28]   Yeah, so here's the other-[2:28:29]   Actually we still have his stuff[2:28:30]   and we'll send it back to him.[2:28:31]   He's so happy. Yes, all the stuff[2:28:32]   that we do burn would be a replica of his stuff.[2:28:36]   And we were only doing this to scare him.[2:28:38]   Once he gets scared to the fullest,[2:28:40]   then we show him, nope, your real stuff is right over here.[2:28:44]   We'll give it back to you.[2:28:44]   And we're sending it back to you.[2:28:48]   And we do need the money back.[2:28:49]   So it's gonna cost- You can keep the money.[2:28:50]   Nope, nope, nope.[2:28:52]   And he's gotta pay for shipping on all this stuff back.[2:28:55]   But I actually do wanna bid on this auction,[2:28:57]   but just hearing him explain it again[2:28:59]   kind of made me panic.[2:29:00]   Yes, this isn't gonna work.[2:29:01]   And here's how it won't work even more.[2:29:04]   If you like Donkey Lips enough to wanna support him[2:29:07]   so that he doesn't become homeless, which is his next step,[2:29:11]   you're not gonna wanna also strip the man[2:29:13]   of his most personal item, right?[2:29:16]   Like what kind of asshole is gonna be like,[2:29:17]   I love Donkey Lips so much that I wanna support him.[2:29:20]   I don't need any of this junk, obviously.[2:29:23]   So the idea is you're going to take away[2:29:27]   his prized possessions so that he could make rent.[2:29:30]   That's like a twisted game too,[2:29:32]   that somebody who wants to support him[2:29:34]   isn't gonna wanna necessarily play[2:29:36]   unless they're retarded, right?[2:29:38]   Why would you wanna buy up all his personal belongings?[2:29:41]   That's sick.[2:29:42]   This is all he has.[2:29:44]   So he's setting, even in like the people[2:29:47]   who love him the most aren't gonna wanna buy anything[2:29:50]   from him because that's like taking[2:29:53]   all that he has left away from him.[2:29:55]   If he did all of that work to drum up that scheme[2:29:59]   in his brain, he can have the money.[2:30:01]   Okay, let's hear some more.[2:30:03]   The people who don't win the bid, I will let you know,[2:30:08]   as soon as I have the winner of that bid,[2:30:11]   probably six or seven days later,[2:30:13]   and I will also make a video explaining all the winners[2:30:17]   of the bids and the products.[2:30:20]   And I'm gonna be doing products[2:30:21]   throughout the month of June.[2:30:23]   So please go to all the social media channels.[2:30:25]   Just these shirts again?[2:30:27]   I know it's a lot to do.[2:30:27]   People don't wanna do that, but it's the way it has to be.[2:30:30]   I feel like he's been selling the same batch[2:30:32]   of products for 20 years.[2:30:33]   The Donkey Lips, and we have them all.[2:30:36]   The Donkey Lips trading card that he prints out[2:30:38]   on printer paper, glossy photo paper,[2:30:44]   and it's hand cut by him.[2:30:45]   So what he's doing- Well, people want these products.[2:30:47]   What he's doing though, is he's taking,[2:30:49]   he's selling people bootlegs.[2:30:51]   When you get these products, they're handmade,[2:30:53]   burned DVDs of Salute Your Shorts[2:30:56]   that are like ripped from a VHS that he got[2:30:59]   from Wet Movie 1 a few years back.[2:31:02]   When you buy a Donkey Lips trading card,[2:31:04]   I got a hundred little Donkey Lips items[2:31:06]   that people have purchased from him[2:31:08]   for me over the years.[2:31:09]   You get it, I probably have it in here.[2:31:12]   I got a Donkey Lips trading card around.[2:31:13]   You can see he's hand cut it himself.[2:31:16]   It kinkos.[2:31:18]   You know, it's not even a good DPI on the print.[2:31:22]   I even believe the autograph is like copied[2:31:24]   and burned in from the copy.[2:31:26]   You know, he can't even like hand sign these things.[2:31:29]   So you're always kind of getting ripped off.[2:31:31]   And now again, he's gonna go through it[2:31:33]   with the Michael Ray Bauer Donkey Lips,[2:31:35]   the Donkey Lips shirt, this Anna Wanna shirt[2:31:38]   that we've seen for the last 15 years.[2:31:39]   This is not the way.[2:31:41]   He needs a new plan, Jules.[2:31:43]   We have to help him.[2:31:45]   Done, because I have to make it available[2:31:47]   to everybody to see it.[2:31:49]   Maybe only two, 300 will watch a YouTube video.[2:31:52]   Maybe only a hundred will see a post on Instagram.[2:31:56]   Maybe a different hundred will see the post on Facebook.[2:31:59]   Maybe 50 people will go to my merchandise store down below.[2:32:05]   Maybe another 50 will see a post on Twitter.[2:32:08]   I have to spread it, open as much as possible[2:32:11]   to earn as much.[2:32:12]   See, and here's the thing.[2:32:13]   If we buy him, buy all the stuff and let him keep it, okay?[2:32:18]   Our beautiful, wonderful gift, our charitable gift.[2:32:21]   And he can just do the auction again.[2:32:23]   Exactly, which he will.[2:32:25]   No, no, no.[2:32:27]   And then I gotta buy it again?[2:32:29]   I'll be buying, that's what I mean.[2:32:30]   It's never ending.[2:32:31]   If you wanna support him,[2:32:33]   prepare to support him for the rest of your life.[2:32:35]   So yes, I buy all the auction stuff, right?[2:32:37]   I go, we're kidding.[2:32:38]   You keep it, keep the money.[2:32:41]   I am doing good news, guys.[2:32:44]   The auctioneer winner did not want the items.[2:32:47]   So there is chance for another.[2:32:49]   No, there's no other auction.[2:32:51]   That was so for you to keep your stuff[2:32:53]   and get the money that you would have made from selling it.[2:32:55]   And now you could use that to, but no.[2:32:58]   He'll have an auction every month and I'll keep buying.[2:33:01]   You could keep the money as a surprise.[2:33:03]   And to the point where he goes,[2:33:04]   do you wanna just give me a copy of your credit card[2:33:07]   at this point?[2:33:08]   And that's where you will be.[2:33:09]   So that's what I mean.[2:33:10]   We're kind of stumped here with how we can help[2:33:13]   in a cute way.[2:33:14]   None of it's gonna be cute.[2:33:15]   You should just get him like a little kid's credit card[2:33:17]   with like a $500 limit that you give him[2:33:20]   and just pay off every month.[2:33:21]   Yeah, well, okay.[2:33:23]   And then what happens when he screws that up?[2:33:26]   How could you screw that up?[2:33:27]   Because he's gonna overdraft.[2:33:29]   He's gonna try to deposit checks into the account[2:33:32]   that don't exist and pull out the money quick at the ATM,[2:33:35]   bank fraud.[2:33:37]   I mean, I can't even imagine what he would do[2:33:39]   with a credit card.[2:33:40]   Especially if it's actually my name.[2:33:43]   Yes, I would love to help him.[2:33:44]   Is there a way to help him that won't, you know,[2:33:47]   and by the way, all you conservatives out there.[2:33:50]   Oh, all of a sudden you wanna help him.[2:33:52]   Okay, yeah.[2:33:53]   See how that worked out in Poland.[2:33:57]   All right.[2:34:01]   Income as possible by selling these personal items[2:34:05]   that I really don't wanna get rid of, but I have to.[2:34:09]   So again, I don't know all the engine ouch,[2:34:11]   but I hope you all trust me to put together[2:34:14]   a good silent auction for everybody in the month of June.[2:34:19]   So please hit up all those.[2:34:21]   I don't think the commenters were too excited.[2:34:23]   Social media outlets.[2:34:25]   No, they support them.[2:34:26]   They're happy about it?[2:34:27]   You can private message me during the auction.[2:34:29]   They didn't seem like they wanted any of this stuff.[2:34:31]   Yeah, that's what I mean there.[2:34:33]   None of the comments are really about[2:34:35]   how they want the stuff bad.[2:34:36]   They said that they would share the post about the auction.[2:34:39]   I love this dude.[2:34:40]   Mikey love always, no injuries.[2:34:45]   Let's see, there was a funny one here.[2:34:47]   I still need, oh, here we go.[2:34:49]   So here's somebody who kind of wants to buy something.[2:34:52]   I still need some of your shirts.[2:34:54]   And he replies, me too, ha ha ha.[2:34:58]   You got it, you just lost a sale.[2:35:01]   You had a sale on the hook.[2:35:05]   Well, I do need some of your shirts.[2:35:08]   Me too, ha ha.[2:35:09]   So what are you saying?[2:35:10]   You want them to just donate, huh?[2:35:12]   You don't have any plan on selling these shirts.[2:35:15]   Otherwise you'd be like, oh, here, my first customer.[2:35:19]   Great, I'll lock you down for June 15th.[2:35:21]   You know what, let's do it right now.[2:35:22]   I need the money.[2:35:24]   Remember, this isn't a game.[2:35:24]   It's not shot for television.[2:35:27]   The event doesn't need to start June 15th.[2:35:29]   It needs to start now.[2:35:31]   You have a sale.[2:35:35]   I really need one of your shirts.[2:35:36]   Yeah, me too.[2:35:37]   So what are you saying?[2:35:38]   You need these clothes.[2:35:39]   You can't sell all your clothes, obviously.[2:35:42]   So we're going to sell everything in your house must go?[2:35:45]   It can't happen.[2:35:46]   What are you, Eric Griffin?[2:35:48]   Bye Bower.[2:35:52]   Everyone say bye Bower, bye.[2:35:56]   Figure out ways to help him out.[2:35:57]   Email me, help.[2:35:59]   I think that this auction is going to be[2:36:02]   too much administration for me.[2:36:04]   We should just donate to his Venmo to ease our mind.[2:36:09]   That's not going to ease your mind.[2:36:10]   And how much do you give him?[2:36:11]   Because it's never going to be enough.[2:36:13]   What would you think is a good price for Michael Ray Bower?[2:36:16]   One month's rent.[2:36:17]   That's 1200 bucks.[2:36:18]   And then he pays the rent.[2:36:20]   And then the next day he's sitting there.[2:36:21]   I need to figure out how to pay next month's rent.[2:36:26]   That's all that's going to happen.[2:36:27]   What do you think he's going to use?[2:36:29]   Well, then he gets one more month of happiness.[2:36:31]   He's not, he refuses to get a job.[2:36:33]   He even said in that video, I'm not getting a job[2:36:35]   due to that is just not my part of my lifestyle.[2:36:39]   If he has his rent money,[2:36:40]   then he has time to focus on creativity.[2:36:42]   I do not have a time lifestyle.[2:36:45]   No, I live a lifestyle of,[2:36:47]   it's not a job or time lifestyle.[2:36:50]   That's what he will say to you.[2:36:52]   So again, the only way to do it[2:36:55]   is it's got to be an unlimited, infinite donation.[2:36:58]   Otherwise he dies.[2:37:00]   And how is he going to fare on Skid Row?[2:37:05]   Imagine that.[2:37:06]   It's going to happen.[2:37:07]   And you're all going to be sitting there laughing,[2:37:10]   which isn't fair.[2:37:11]   We won't let this happen to you.[2:37:12]   We can't let it happen to him.[2:37:13]   So save him and then save him again.[2:37:15]   And remember just saving him this month doesn't help.[2:37:18]   You got to save him for eternity.[2:37:19]   Let's send him to exorcism school.[2:37:22]   I'd like to send him to a lot of different schools.[2:37:25]   Teachers don't want them.[2:37:26]   They keep kicking them out.[2:37:27]   Okay.[2:37:28]   It's too unruly.[2:37:30]   Yeah, he gets all the other kids.[2:37:31]   He just said the kids can't pay attention[2:37:33]   with him in the school.[2:37:34]   Okay.[2:37:36]   This brings me to somebody.[2:37:37]   Okay, so you feel bad for that guy, right?[2:37:40]   You didn't feel bad for Jeremiah Wonders[2:37:41]   when he was begging for money for his kids.[2:37:43]   Then you see Bauer begging.[2:37:45]   Everybody gets sad.[2:37:46]   That's cause he's a great child actor.[2:37:49]   And he should, here's how you save him.[2:37:53]   You get the studios.[2:37:54]   You got to get a favor from a friend at the studios[2:37:58]   to give him a new role.[2:38:00]   And then he becomes a giant star, right?[2:38:03]   And then he's just a star.[2:38:06]   You don't need any donations.[2:38:07]   That's what we need.[2:38:08]   I don't have any connections to the media[2:38:10]   or to the Hollywood.[2:38:13]   That's what I was thinking.[2:38:14]   I go, oh, I know what I'll do.[2:38:15]   I'll call one of my friends.[2:38:16]   I'll get him a gig on a show.[2:38:17]   I'll get him a gig on a show.[2:38:18]   Vic Berger and Tim Heidecker.[2:38:20]   No, the problem is you can't even recommend him[2:38:23]   because he's not going to show up.[2:38:24]   He's not going to do a good job.[2:38:25]   But we can, this time he will.[2:38:27]   Nope, he doesn't get the character is the main problem.[2:38:31]   So maybe you could feel bad for him.[2:38:32]   I certainly do.[2:38:34]   But this next guy,[2:38:35]   I don't think we're going to have anybody feel bad for.[2:38:38]   This next guy's name, Eric Griffin.[2:38:40]   Come on down.[2:38:41]   Eric Griffin, you know,[2:38:45]   his wife has been really spilling the beans.[2:38:48]   He's got this new wife, Rachel.[2:38:50]   She's become the target of some online harassment[2:38:54]   because she, well, oh, I'm not sure.[2:38:57]   People love her.[2:38:58]   Oh, they love her.[2:38:59]   Okay.[2:39:01]   His wife has been saying some stupid shit.[2:39:03]   You know, Eric Griffin,[2:39:04]   let's show him this, the golden hour here.[2:39:06]   Let's pull that up.[2:39:08]   The golden hour.[2:39:11]   This is the golden hour, YouTube.[2:39:13]   This is, is this Eric's only job now?[2:39:14]   Or does Eric still have his own podcast too?[2:39:16]   Eric Griffin, the guy with the glasses, you know him.[2:39:18]   I think he has Riffin with Griffin.[2:39:20]   Does he have Riffin with Griffin?[2:39:21]   Let's see that one too.[2:39:24]   Let's just see how he's doing.[2:39:26]   Eric Griffin, Riffin with Griffin.[2:39:30]   And does anybody know, is he doing anything else?[2:39:34]   He Twitch streams as well.[2:39:35]   And what's his Patreon?[2:39:36]   Sitnik, can you send me a link to his Patreon, please?[2:39:40]   Let's see what he's got going on on his own YouTube here.[2:39:44]   Check in with Eric Griffin.[2:39:46]   You know, this is the third wheel of Brendan Schaub[2:39:50]   and Chris D'Elia's, the golden hour.[2:39:54]   Here, we'll show you this.[2:39:54]   Cause I can grow my legs if I wanted to.[2:39:55]   Hardest thing to grow.[2:39:56]   But this is what Eric Griffin does now.[2:39:58]   Yeah, I could grow this.[2:40:00]   Yeah, you probably could.[2:40:01]   Oh, he's just gonna leave it.[2:40:02]   Yeah, I know, I know.[2:40:04]   Okay, hit it, guys.[2:40:05]   Don't call it open.[2:40:06]   He's undefeated.[2:40:07]   You just want him to stay.[2:40:07]   Is there anything worse that every podcast does this now?[2:40:10]   It's a clip from their funniest moment from the show[2:40:13]   because they know the opening's gonna be so bad.[2:40:16]   They gotta show you something that happened 60 minutes[2:40:18]   into the podcast, the best of the worst.[2:40:21]   And that way, what?[2:40:22]   You'll see this, you'll go, oh, I'm not tuning out now.[2:40:25]   I'm not tuning out.[2:40:26]   All you're doing is causing your editors[2:40:29]   a lot of extra work and stress[2:40:31]   to have to go pick up this clip and put it in[2:40:33]   instead of just uploading the live shot video[2:40:37]   and posting it to YouTube immediately.[2:40:40]   You gotta have your editors go and put some VHS filters[2:40:43]   over this clip so that we know it's from,[2:40:47]   you know, it's not in real time, folks.[2:40:50]   We're seeing the cold open here.[2:40:51]   We don't need that in the podcast.[2:40:53]   Trust me on that.[2:40:55]   What a waste.[2:40:56]   What a waste of money.[2:40:57]   Okay, here.[2:40:58]   They're gonna start their show.[2:41:00]   I did, I did grow these, not these.[2:41:02]   I know that.[2:41:03]   His legs are crossed and it's very condescending.[2:41:05]   Yeah, it is, very.[2:41:08]   When the workout guys talk to you like this.[2:41:10]   If these guys had any smarts,[2:41:12]   they'd show us the worst parts in the opening, you know?[2:41:17]   They'd show you the worst parts.[2:41:19]   You go, ooh, I gotta see how those guys[2:41:21]   all came to bombing like that.[2:41:24]   Now I'm glued to my seat.[2:41:26]   Have you ever heard of Streamberry?[2:41:30]   That Streamberry joke's gonna become very clear[2:41:33]   to some of you this month.[2:41:35]   You'll all be talking about Streamberry.[2:41:37]   You'll remember, oh, I heard about Streamberry[2:41:40]   first from Redbar.[2:41:41]   Now it's everywhere.[2:41:43]   Yes, I know about Streamberry.[2:41:45]   I was an early viewer of what Streamberry is from.[2:41:50]   Yep, pretty up to date on what's going on on Netflix[2:41:54]   and all the networks and on YouTube as well.[2:41:58]   So you'll all catch up to me shortly.[2:42:02]   Here you go.[2:42:03]   Here's Eric.[2:42:04]   We're friends that laugh, we're friends that shout.[2:42:09]   Sometimes we don't know what we're talking about,[2:42:13]   but that won't stop us, nothing can stop us.[2:42:21]   Oh, really dude?[2:42:23]   Is this a challenge?[2:42:24]   Nothing can stop us.[2:42:26]   Well, times are, this is very unusual[2:42:29]   to see something like this.[2:42:31]   Something that the whole community has been rooting for[2:42:35]   is happening right before our eyes just so very slowly.[2:42:40]   Really, the honest to God's truth is Chris, Delia,[2:42:43]   Eric Griffin, and Brendan Schaub,[2:42:44]   and I could throw in Callen on this,[2:42:48]   they're fucked.[2:42:51]   They're fucked, especially Griffin and Brendan.[2:42:55]   Do you know Brendan Schaub had to, oh, look at that.[2:42:59]   Brendan Schaub had to cancel his entire European tour.[2:43:03]   This isn't just a T fact rumor.[2:43:06]   This is real, I almost got to remind myself every day[2:43:10]   that something like this is real.[2:43:11]   I was watching 10 minutes of Schaub the other day.[2:43:14]   Actually, I shouldn't say that[2:43:16]   because I'll show you, it'll make sense.[2:43:18]   I like those 10 minutes of Schaub guys.[2:43:21]   Those are some nice kids.[2:43:22]   Innocent.[2:43:24]   They're innocent, I love the guy who plays the guitar[2:43:26]   and I'm not being sarcastic when I say that,[2:43:27]   those are good kids.[2:43:30]   The 10 minutes of Schaub guys.[2:43:31]   You know, there's a whole Schaub marketplace[2:43:34]   on YouTube now, a whole economy that lives off Schaub.[2:43:37]   The only person not living off Schaub right now[2:43:39]   is his wife and Maria.[2:43:43]   Oh yeah, she's having her second child,[2:43:45]   similar to Jeremiah's situation, a second child.[2:43:48]   She's afraid she's gonna lose her looks.[2:43:50]   Are she gonna lose her looks?[2:43:53]   We'll show you that post from her.[2:43:54]   You'll see her looks now.[2:43:55]   We'll see if they could get any worse.[2:43:57]   But Brendan is in a lot of trouble.[2:43:59]   He had to cancel that entire European tour,[2:44:01]   so he thought, yeah, and the YouTube numbers,[2:44:05]   let's see how much this has.[2:44:06]   This is all three of them, remember.[2:44:07]   Chris, Delia, Brendan, Schaub, Eric Griffin.[2:44:10]   This came out 20 hours ago.[2:44:12]   Okay, 50K views.[2:44:15]   That's about the average now that these shows are getting.[2:44:18]   Fighter and the Kid, 50K, 49K.[2:44:21]   That split between two guys and an entire staff.[2:44:25]   Here's the golden hour, 50K views.[2:44:28]   That split between three guys and a staff.[2:44:31]   And then you've got, of course, Eric Griffin's show.[2:44:35]   You see where that was at?[2:44:36]   Here, here's Eric Griffin's page.[2:44:38]   What's his show at here?[2:44:39]   2.8K views.[2:44:44]   He's putting out a best of 2022 2.8K views.[2:44:49]   That's for a podcast length here.[2:44:51]   Here's a real episode.[2:44:53]   Riffin with Griffin crossover, Dane Cook, 2.9K views.[2:44:59]   Seven months old only, so.[2:45:01]   This could catch up.[2:45:02]   Yes, he's not doing very well.[2:45:04]   It doesn't look like there's any new[2:45:05]   Riffin with Griffin, Jules.[2:45:08]   What?[2:45:09]   The latest video here is from five months ago.[2:45:11]   Oh, go to the lives, you.[2:45:13]   Ah, that's what they're doing now.[2:45:15]   Okay, let's do that.[2:45:16]   4.2K views two days ago.[2:45:20]   Eric Griffin, 3K views nine days ago.[2:45:23]   That's good.[2:45:25]   3.7, so there's 10 minutes of shop.[2:45:28]   Too Lazy To Try is getting more numbers[2:45:31]   than Tim Dillon now.[2:45:32]   Too Lazy To Try is the latest rich comedian.[2:45:36]   Him and Joke World.[2:45:37]   Joke World's getting 59K in a day.[2:45:40]   That's rich.[2:45:42]   So Eric Griffin, you go, this is the guy from Workaholics.[2:45:45]   This is the guy that we thought was from TV and the movies.[2:45:50]   Comedy royalty, he's been around forever, right?[2:45:52]   He's been on Rogue and he's been everywhere.[2:45:54]   You've seen him everywhere.[2:45:55]   He's a famous comedian in this community.[2:45:59]   Sitting at 3.2K views streamed one month ago.[2:46:05]   If I had a channel like this,[2:46:08]   this is like, yeah, it's a little better than Denny,[2:46:11]   but that's about it.[2:46:13]   That's about it.[2:46:13]   That's bad.[2:46:14]   You go to Rumble so you can get some fake views.[2:46:18]   Okay, you go on Rumble.[2:46:20]   So Steven Crowder on Rumble,[2:46:21]   for every million views he got on YouTube,[2:46:24]   he'd get around 16,000 comments per million views.[2:46:27]   When you go to Steven Crowder's YouTube page,[2:46:30]   he'd get about 16,000 comments for 1 million views.[2:46:34]   You know how many comments he gets on Rumble[2:46:37]   for 1 million views, Jules?[2:46:40]   1.6K.[2:46:42]   I wonder what's happening there.[2:46:44]   Rumble guys just don't like to comment as much probably,[2:46:47]   right?[2:46:48]   15,000 less comments per million.[2:46:52]   Interesting.[2:46:53]   You guys should go to Rumble.[2:46:54]   Everybody gets a lot of high views over there.[2:46:59]   That's a legit way to get a lot of views.[2:47:02]   Join Rumble.[2:47:04]   Okay, so there's Eric Griffin.[2:47:06]   We'll keep him down there for now.[2:47:07]   There's Brendan Schaub, new baby on the way.[2:47:09]   Canceled that entire European tour.[2:47:11]   I mean, he really thought that was gonna be,[2:47:13]   I mean, do you know how crazy that is actually?[2:47:16]   So I saw a clip from him the other day[2:47:18]   that one of these Brendan Hader channels posted.[2:47:22]   It was incredible.[2:47:22]   Every day there's a new documentary about hating Brendan[2:47:25]   and they're getting good.[2:47:27]   Cause everybody's already told the initial story.[2:47:30]   I think that's what I hated hearing so much,[2:47:32]   that initial tale, gringo, poppy, gringo, poppy over.[2:47:36]   But now everybody's doing up to date,[2:47:38]   day by day, minute by minute, Schaub news.[2:47:41]   That's more. Pretty exciting.[2:47:43]   Now it's a nice watch.[2:47:44]   You type in Brendan Schaub every day,[2:47:45]   there's 16 documentaries of various little things[2:47:50]   that he's up to and he's up to a lot.[2:47:52]   So I understand, but this doesn't usually happen.[2:47:55]   Usually when we all collectively hate somebody[2:47:58]   and wish for their demise,[2:47:59]   it doesn't really pan out that way.[2:48:04]   But in Brendan's case,[2:48:05]   it's starting to actually fizzle out to the,[2:48:09]   to where he can't put on the facade anymore.[2:48:12]   It must be getting really scary.[2:48:14]   There was a video I just watched and Brian goes,[2:48:16]   yeah, I heard you canceled your tour.[2:48:18]   And he goes, yup.[2:48:19]   Just gonna chill with the kiddos this summer.[2:48:22]   So he's doing nothing.[2:48:24]   It's all been canceled.[2:48:25]   He's just chilling.[2:48:26]   That's what they say.[2:48:27]   That's the line.[2:48:28]   Chilling with the kiddos this summer.[2:48:30]   He had to say that he won't address[2:48:32]   why the tour was actually canceled.[2:48:33]   Obviously they tracked it.[2:48:34]   How could he?[2:48:35]   They tracked it every day.[2:48:37]   He sold no tickets.[2:48:38]   He thought he was gonna go do a 50 city tour[2:48:43]   and sell out those seats.[2:48:44]   And that's how he was gonna provide for me.[2:48:46]   He says, well, everyone on the internet hates Chris D'Elia,[2:48:48]   but he does these 5,000 cedars every weekend.[2:48:51]   So he gets a lot of money.[2:48:52]   That's what I'm gonna do.[2:48:53]   I'm Brendan.[2:48:55]   And it didn't work out.[2:48:57]   And I don't think it's gonna go back.[2:48:58]   I think he's had his peak as far as[2:49:01]   how many people have been introduced to him.[2:49:04]   And now it's just going down, down, down[2:49:06]   to the point where, yeah,[2:49:07]   nobody's even tuning into these shows he has anymore.[2:49:10]   So they're making no ad money there.[2:49:13]   Where's he getting his money from?[2:49:16]   Where's Eric Griffin getting his money from?[2:49:18]   Chris D'Elia we know has his tour.[2:49:20]   That's the only thing that's saving Chris right now.[2:49:22]   The tour and the merch[2:49:25]   and all the Matt Rife style lunatics[2:49:29]   that allow him to do this and support him.[2:49:31]   But Brenda doesn't have those people.[2:49:33]   Eric Griffin doesn't have those people.[2:49:35]   Let's get a little glimpse of them[2:49:37]   and then we'll show you what happened here.[2:49:39]   Nothing can stop us.[2:49:41]   I don't know.[2:49:42]   I don't know about that.[2:49:43]   Eric, you're next.[2:49:44]   Cause I can show you the use of love.[2:49:47]   Just rebrand it enough.[2:49:49]   It's stronger, better, bigger, better.[2:49:51]   They all hate each other too.[2:49:52]   Cause it is the golden hour.[2:49:57]   It's the golden hour.[2:50:02]   What's up bro?[2:50:04]   You keep looking at me today, man.[2:50:05]   Here's the show.[2:50:07]   You're a handsome guy, man.[2:50:07]   Thanks dog.[2:50:08]   You know what it is?[2:50:09]   You got grays and it doesn't look bad on you, man.[2:50:12]   Ah, a little salt and pepper.[2:50:14]   A little dusty.[2:50:15]   Everyone has a little dust here.[2:50:16]   Yeah, yeah, yeah.[2:50:17]   You guys more on your face.[2:50:18]   The show goes nowhere.[2:50:20]   I mean, it's really bad.[2:50:21]   We watch it all the time.[2:50:22]   Hoping to find something to play on this show.[2:50:24]   There's never anything even to make fun of.[2:50:26]   It's that boring.[2:50:29]   It's that boring.[2:50:31]   I mean, neither of them try.[2:50:33]   They barely get through the hour.[2:50:35]   You could tell none of them are entertained by each other.[2:50:38]   Maybe Eric, Eric Griffin, like forgets.[2:50:41]   Eric Griffin can't pick up on the fact[2:50:43]   that these two guys are in utter hell.[2:50:46]   And this is the lowest their lives have ever been.[2:50:48]   Eric Griffin can't pick up on that.[2:50:51]   But you must know Eric,[2:50:53]   because we found out something about your wife.[2:50:58]   That is too shocking to ignore.[2:51:00]   Let's roll the clip.[2:51:01]   Here it is from Facebook, right?[2:51:03]   Yep.[2:51:05]   This is bad.[2:51:06]   We saw a little bit from his wife a couple of weeks ago.[2:51:07]   What did she, why did she make our screen[2:51:09]   a couple of weeks ago?[2:51:10]   What was that?[2:51:11]   She was just telling us[2:51:12]   about how she was rewatching the OC.[2:51:14]   Oh yeah.[2:51:15]   It was kind of like, hey, look at this airhead, right?[2:51:18]   Look at this airhead wife.[2:51:19]   Ha ha ha.[2:51:20]   She's so stupid.[2:51:21]   Was that the point of the video last time?[2:51:23]   It was just nice to hear from her.[2:51:25]   Well, the point of this video is the best.[2:51:30]   Wait till you see this one.[2:51:32]   I'm just gonna let it play.[2:51:34]   And, and then we will scream and shout[2:51:37]   about what she reveals.[2:51:39]   Flaming hot on Disney Plus[2:51:41]   and a hundred percent recommend.[2:51:44]   You need to watch it.[2:51:45]   It's so good.[2:51:48]   One key point was to be proud of your culture.[2:51:54]   The other one, I just like love[2:51:57]   because the wife worked at Target.[2:51:59]   I work at Target.[2:52:00]   So I understand where they're coming from.[2:52:04]   What did you just say?[2:52:06]   What did you just say?[2:52:07]   You could buy Flaming Hot Cheetos at Target.[2:52:09]   Is that what you said?[2:52:10]   Let me hear that again.[2:52:11]   Love because the wife worked at Target.[2:52:14]   I work at Target.[2:52:15]   So I-[2:52:16]   No, wait.[2:52:17]   I work at.[2:52:22]   Let me hear that again.[2:52:24]   Worked at Target.[2:52:25]   I work at Target.[2:52:26]   I work at Target![2:52:28]   Work at Target![2:52:33]   Eric Griffin's wife works at Target.[2:52:43]   I don't know what to do with myself here[2:52:45]   on this day of information.[2:52:49]   We must drink to celebrate this new piece of information.[2:52:58]   We've looked into this.[2:52:59]   It is true, right?[2:53:03]   You could welcome us back.[2:53:10]   We had a plaque out.[2:53:16]   We're back after the blackout.[2:53:18]   Hey everybody, we're back after our rolling blackout.[2:53:22]   Thank you.[2:53:23]   That was really scary.[2:53:24]   If it happens again, everybody just sit tight.[2:53:26]   That was pretty cool.[2:53:28]   We got to see our backup batteries work,[2:53:31]   but obviously we don't have backup batteries[2:53:33]   for the whole world.[2:53:34]   So there was a lot of stuff that needed to be reset,[2:53:36]   but we've saved the show.[2:53:37]   It's all here.[2:53:38]   Every single thing went to pitch black.[2:53:41]   It was insane.[2:53:42]   Yes.[2:53:43]   So our backup batteries saved us.[2:53:45]   We've got all the recording.[2:53:46]   Everything's fine and back on schedule.[2:53:48]   Welcome back to Red Bar.[2:53:49]   Let's have that fifth drink.[2:53:57]   It's very scary.[2:54:03]   We had a simple blackout.[2:54:04]   Our first blackout here today.[2:54:08]   We're rolling blackouts.[2:54:11]   So we had a little blackout, a power outage.[2:54:14]   Is everything okay?[2:54:15]   Think so.[2:54:16]   Okay, good.[2:54:17]   Still looking around the room nervously,[2:54:20]   making sure everything works here.[2:54:22]   Okay, I think we're good from the blackout.[2:54:25]   Back to Eric Griffin's wife.[2:54:27]   She works at Target, yes?[2:54:34]   Eric Griffin makes his wife work at Target.[2:54:38]   This cannot be explained.[2:54:42]   This could not be.[2:54:43]   You can't talk us out of this one, Eric.[2:54:46]   There is no excuse for your wife to need to work at Target.[2:54:53]   So what's going on?[2:54:55]   If you've got to make your wife work at Target,[2:54:57]   then you need the extra money, right?[2:55:00]   I mean, it can't be going that well money-wise.[2:55:04]   She probably makes more than him.[2:55:05]   If your wife has to work at Target,[2:55:09]   and then are you, here's the most important part.[2:55:12]   Are you making your wife split the bills?[2:55:15]   I hope guys aren't doing that.[2:55:16]   I hope.[2:55:18]   There is a rule.[2:55:19]   If you have enough money to pay all the bills,[2:55:23]   you don't split the bills.[2:55:26]   You don't split vacations.[2:55:29]   You don't split dinners with your wife.[2:55:32]   Once you have a wife,[2:55:35]   you're now the dad of the family.[2:55:39]   Did you ever see that?[2:55:40]   When I was a kid, I didn't see my mom[2:55:42]   pulling out no purse, splitting things.[2:55:46]   So Eric Griffin, and I hope he doesn't think[2:55:48]   he's having a baby now.[2:55:50]   Do they have that already?[2:55:51]   Do they have a baby?[2:55:53]   Do they have anything?[2:55:54]   They don't.[2:55:55]   Okay, I hope he doesn't think he's having no baby.[2:55:56]   He's very old.[2:55:58]   And he has this very young wife.[2:55:59]   And then she says here, I couldn't believe my eyes.[2:56:02]   I've been celebrating all week.[2:56:03]   This was gonna be a big moment for the show now.[2:56:06]   Now they're gonna have to cut it up.[2:56:07]   The Clippers are gonna have to cut this up[2:56:08]   into a million pieces.[2:56:10]   Here it is again.[2:56:13]   I understand where they're coming from[2:56:15]   and her attitude and how she helps him.[2:56:18]   And so in the middle of this movie,[2:56:23]   I was craving bean and cheese burritos and Tito's tacos.[2:56:26]   So I made Eric go get me some.[2:56:29]   He was furious, but he's going to get me some[2:56:33]   and I can't wait.[2:56:34]   Yeah, what about the Target part?[2:56:36]   Yeah.[2:56:38]   I work at Target.[2:56:40]   So I-[2:56:40]   I work at Target.[2:56:41]   And I can see her too.[2:56:42]   I can see her in the red shirt in the tight.[2:56:45]   Fellas, those tight tan pants.[2:56:49]   You ever done that thing at Target[2:56:50]   where you're so desperate, you go, set out to.[2:56:53]   She works at Target.[2:56:56]   You ever done that?[2:56:57]   No.[2:56:58]   Those are some nice tan pants.[2:57:02]   And that's a hot Target lady.[2:57:05]   She turns around.[2:57:06]   She's black.[2:57:08]   You were wrong.[2:57:10]   I can't believe it.[2:57:11]   Eric, your wife works at Target.[2:57:13]   We need an explanation from this.[2:57:16]   Is everything okay there?[2:57:17]   Cause I see you scrambling at the computer.[2:57:19]   Oh, sorry.[2:57:20]   My computer is being crazy slow.[2:57:22]   Are you able to restart your computer[2:57:25]   since that rolling blackout,[2:57:27]   of course, all of our equipment inside.[2:57:28]   Yeah, just don't ask me to send you anything[2:57:30]   for like three minutes.[2:57:31]   Okay, don't send anything,[2:57:32]   but just do a simple restart[2:57:33]   and keep the faces big and smiley[2:57:35]   like Eric Griffin's wife has to do.[2:57:39]   So what does this mean for Eric Griffin?[2:57:42]   Have people been asking him about this Target thing[2:57:44]   since it released?[2:57:45]   Has anybody?[2:57:47]   I thought somebody sent me her resume.[2:57:50]   Was that in Up Next?[2:57:53]   Was there something about her resume?[2:57:54]   It just showed that she worked at Target.[2:57:55]   That's all.[2:57:56]   It just proves that, yes, she does.[2:57:58]   She does have a degree in like biology or something.[2:58:01]   So she doesn't have to be working there.[2:58:03]   What is going on that she needs to be working at Target?[2:58:05]   I mean, that to me is huge.[2:58:08]   How is Eric Griffin going to explain this?[2:58:10]   Or does he, he probably thinks that's normal.[2:58:12]   He's one of those guys who's going,[2:58:14]   yeah, of course he works at Target.[2:58:15]   I mean, she needs a job.[2:58:17]   Like he would do something like that[2:58:20]   where he thinks this is normal[2:58:23]   and that it would be crazy for her not to have a job.[2:58:25]   What did she do?[2:58:26]   Sit on her ass all day?[2:58:28]   I think that is if we would all be like that.[2:58:31]   No, no, no.[2:58:32]   You need to be able to provide for this woman.[2:58:35]   So please get me some answers.[2:58:36]   Cause me some commotion.[2:58:38]   I'd like to see where this leads, you know?[2:58:42]   So we're doing a restart over there.[2:58:44]   It's okay. I can use my phone.[2:58:45]   You could use your phone.[2:58:46]   Great.[2:58:47]   Okay, so why don't you tell us what we have next here?[2:58:50]   We're just scrolling here.[2:58:51]   Ooh, how about this little cute one for all the guys?[2:58:53]   How about Jake Paul versus Hey Big Dyke?[2:58:58]   Ooh, yes.[2:58:59]   And you guys have been wanting to see Big Mike[2:59:02]   for some time now, huh?[2:59:04]   Where's Big Mike been?[2:59:05]   Well, he opened that fake burger restaurant, 10 10 Burger,[2:59:09]   which is some weird, weird Arabic scam that's going on.[2:59:14]   It turns out it's not his restaurant at all.[2:59:16]   They're using him as a promoter[2:59:18]   because he told all these weird Israelis, you know,[2:59:22]   that he's got the connections, you know,[2:59:25]   and they want to use him.[2:59:25]   They think he's the same as Logan Paul.[2:59:27]   They think Prime.[2:59:29]   They think, oh, this will be big.[2:59:31]   So he got involved with some real crooked guys.[2:59:33]   It's very similar to how Tate's casinos started.[2:59:38]   Andrew Tate, he's got a series of casinos[2:59:41]   called the Las Vegas Casino.[2:59:42]   Have you seen these, Jules?[2:59:44]   They're littered all over Romania.[2:59:46]   They're called Las Vegas.[2:59:49]   It's a little casino store that he opened.[2:59:50]   The Tate brothers opened these casinos all around.[2:59:53]   Oh yes, I heard about this.[2:59:54]   Romania using three brothers from the Romanian mafia.[3:00:01]   They're all involved in this.[3:00:02]   And I guess what they say is that if you win big[3:00:05]   at this casino, these little,[3:00:06]   they're all in bad neighborhoods.[3:00:08]   In fact, communist neighborhoods in Romania.[3:00:12]   That's what they call them, communist neighborhoods,[3:00:15]   where I guess the neighborhood just does communism[3:00:18]   in that little part.[3:00:19]   This is what I'm hearing.[3:00:20]   And they've opened these little two-bit casinos.[3:00:23]   And I guess they're co-owned by Tate and his brother[3:00:27]   and three brothers from the mob.[3:00:29]   And what they do, if you win big there,[3:00:31]   this is what they say.[3:00:32]   This is not a joke.[3:00:34]   If you win big there, these mafia guys come,[3:00:37]   they beat you up, they steal the money back,[3:00:39]   and they don't let anybody win more than a certain amount.[3:00:41]   And they've been tons of reports all over Romania.[3:00:44]   Well, why would they?[3:00:45]   It's the casino's money.[3:00:46]   Well, there you go.[3:00:47]   And Big Mike's burger chain, very similar to this thing.[3:00:52]   Where is this, where did he open this up?[3:00:54]   Saudi Arabia. Saudi Arabia.[3:00:57]   Imagine that.[3:00:58]   I mean, really imagine that.[3:00:59]   Imagine your friend comes to you and he goes,[3:01:01]   dude, I'm opening up a burger chain.[3:01:02]   You're like, oh wow, what street?[3:01:05]   Well, I don't know if they use streets[3:01:10]   in the same way that we do, but Saudi Arabia?[3:01:15]   Wow.[3:01:16]   Wouldn't you be worried that your friend's in deep trouble?[3:01:19]   Like, really, seriously, think about that.[3:01:22]   When's the last time you heard anything,[3:01:25]   business-wise, out of Saudi Arabia[3:01:26]   that sounded like it was on the up and up?[3:01:29]   I'm scared for Big Mike.[3:01:30]   I think we're gonna find Big Mike, you know.[3:01:33]   He may have promised some things.[3:01:35]   In a John Wick situation with these Saudi Arabian guys.[3:01:39]   I don't know what he promised them, but he did.[3:01:41]   It's like selling your soul to the devil.[3:01:44]   He wanted to rush and have his own burger restaurant.[3:01:48]   So I'm starting to think, I'm going, why didn't Big Mike?[3:01:51]   Do we have like a commercial[3:01:52]   of his burger restaurant or something?[3:01:53]   We could show people a little video of him[3:01:57]   talking about his burger restaurant.[3:01:58]   Let's show you that,[3:01:59]   because that's the news everybody's been wanting to hear.[3:02:03]   Big Mike at his burger restaurant.[3:02:05]   And we knew the second he said[3:02:06]   that he's opening up a burger restaurant in Saudi Arabia,[3:02:09]   your mind starts racing.[3:02:10]   You go, okay, what's going on?[3:02:13]   Why can't he, why wouldn't he open it up in Los Angeles?[3:02:19]   Okay, well, maybe the burger market,[3:02:21]   maybe it's too expensive to open a store in Los Angeles.[3:02:23]   Okay, why wouldn't he open it up in Wisconsin first?[3:02:27]   Or at least Puerto Rico.[3:02:28]   Or Puerto Rico.[3:02:30]   I mean, that still would be crazy, but you go,[3:02:34]   why is he running to Saudi Arabia[3:02:36]   to open up a burger restaurant?[3:02:37]   And then you go, okay, it's gotta be one of two things.[3:02:40]   It's a bunch of, what does Saudi Arabia love the most?[3:02:43]   Benefactors, right?[3:02:45]   That's the kind of word that you think about[3:02:46]   when you think, oh, benefactors.[3:02:48]   A bunch of rich guys in those robes[3:02:50]   and that little red hat where they walk around[3:02:55]   and they smile and they meet George Bush.[3:02:58]   Those guys.[3:03:00]   What if they get in cahoots with him[3:03:01]   and they think the big time YouTuber influencer[3:03:04]   is gonna sell them a bunch?[3:03:05]   That was my first thought.[3:03:06]   The second thought was, oh no,[3:03:09]   is Big Mike stealing a very popular Los Angeles burger recipe[3:03:14]   and just opening it up there?[3:03:16]   I could see him go, dude, you guys would crush[3:03:19]   with a 10-10 burger here.[3:03:22]   With this 10-10 burger, we only make one big meatloaf style[3:03:26]   kefta burger, very dry, very dense.[3:03:30]   No, no, and then he shows them, oh, this type,[3:03:33]   but he knows he can't open that type of burger in LA[3:03:35]   because it would just be stealing from somebody, right?[3:03:39]   Yeah, it's a next up.[3:03:40]   Great, Big Mike's burger joint.[3:03:43]   Here it is.[3:03:44]   You know why it's annoying?[3:03:45]   I'll say it.[3:03:46]   Because I was supposed to fight Nate.[3:03:47]   If you watch the second link, it's just his video[3:03:48]   from Twitter. The second link's better, okay.[3:03:50]   This is just them talking about it for a second.[3:03:52]   Oh, I needed those windows.[3:03:54]   Okay, let's see, the second link is Twitter,[3:03:56]   Mike's other video.[3:03:59]   Okay, Mike's other video.[3:04:00]   Okay, let's see what he's doing here.[3:04:01]   Here he is announcing it, and of course,[3:04:03]   he's announcing it as if it's all his, right?[3:04:07]   The owner of the new 10-10 burger in Saudi Arabia.[3:04:12]   For the past three years, as you guys know,[3:04:14]   I've traveled the world tasting and rating[3:04:16]   the world's best past casual burgers from LA to Miami[3:04:20]   to Switzerland, to Australia, to Greece.[3:04:22]   This asshole, he, of course,[3:04:24]   stole Dave Courtney's pizza reviews,[3:04:28]   and he does it word for word.[3:04:29]   I mean, every time we watch one of Big Mike's burger reviews,[3:04:32]   it's shocking how many words and phrases[3:04:37]   and mannerisms he steals from Dave Portney.[3:04:40]   Plus he just said Miami, Switzerland,[3:04:42]   because of the time Kanye was like,[3:04:43]   no, not Miami, Switzerland.[3:04:45]   Yep, that's probably why.[3:04:47]   If somebody, you know, Dave Portney has been alerted,[3:04:49]   hey, Big Mike's rating burgers.[3:04:52]   He's stealing your idea, and in Dave's mind,[3:04:55]   he's thinking, stealing my idea, you know,[3:04:58]   he's rating burgers, I'm rating pizza.[3:05:00]   He doesn't realize the extent that Big Mike has gone[3:05:04]   to steal his essence, his persona,[3:05:07]   everything that he's built.[3:05:09]   If Dave Portney were to see a compilation[3:05:12]   of all the moments and all the phrases[3:05:15]   and all the mannerisms that he's taken and used[3:05:19]   from Dave Portney, I think Dave would be sick.[3:05:21]   I think it would be, because I go,[3:05:23]   somebody's got to show this to Dave and Jules.[3:05:25]   He's always like, he knows, he knows, he doesn't care.[3:05:28]   He thinks it's flattering.[3:05:29]   I don't think if he saw what's actually happening,[3:05:34]   the little tiny thing, I think he'd be sick to his stomach.[3:05:36]   I know I would.[3:05:38]   When you see somebody do you to a T,[3:05:41]   and I've seen this happen many times,[3:05:43]   it doesn't make you mad, it makes you sick.[3:05:47]   Where you go, I feel like I'm being like raped here.[3:05:50]   I feel like, you know,[3:05:51]   this is like a sex crime level feeling.[3:05:55]   So please, if somebody could do that,[3:05:57]   I would pay for it to be done.[3:06:00]   If somebody wants to take a stab and find all the moments[3:06:02]   where Big Mike has copied Dave Portney,[3:06:05]   put them together in a compilation,[3:06:07]   and then we'll all tweet this to Dave,[3:06:09]   who thinks he's good friends with Mike.[3:06:11]   I don't think, again,[3:06:12]   I know that he doesn't know the extent[3:06:15]   of to how much he's being ripped off blatantly by Big Mike.[3:06:20]   And Big Mike knows it.[3:06:21]   Big Mike like enjoys.[3:06:24]   When Big Mike starts doing Dave Portney,[3:06:26]   he's never been happier.[3:06:28]   Like he's more, and it's almost like, yeah,[3:06:32]   it's like, he's got this look of satisfaction on his face.[3:06:36]   Like, this is just flowing to me.[3:06:37]   Like it's coming out of nowhere.[3:06:39]   It's like the power of God.[3:06:41]   You're just, you have a direct line[3:06:44]   to ripping off Dave Portney.[3:06:46]   That's what's happening.[3:06:47]   That's why you're so excited.[3:06:48]   It's like, he's too stupid to even reel.[3:06:51]   And how do you put that out?[3:06:52]   When he's editing these videos and watching them back,[3:06:54]   he must know.[3:06:56]   And he's not guilty because he knows Dave is too stupid.[3:06:59]   Just in his last video,[3:07:00]   he was like, people are always asking me my,[3:07:03]   like you have to watch Dave a lot.[3:07:05]   Yeah, when you watch Dave a lot, like we do.[3:07:08]   It's insane.[3:07:10]   But when you know about the Italian sunbather,[3:07:15]   then you know, and this isn't even like a prime example.[3:07:18]   I'll show you some if we come across some.[3:07:20]   Here's his burger commercial for this restaurant[3:07:23]   that he claims he's opening in Saudi Arabia.[3:07:27]   For the past three years, as you guys know,[3:07:29]   I've traveled the world tasting and rating[3:07:31]   the world's best fast casual burgers[3:07:33]   from LA to Miami, to Switzerland, to Australia, to Greece,[3:07:37]   and everywhere in between.[3:07:38]   So over those three years, while I tasted and rated,[3:07:40]   I also studied, I researched, I developed.[3:07:43]   You stole.[3:07:43]   And I concepted what I thought would be[3:07:45]   a perfect 10 out of 10 burger.[3:07:48]   And so it is with great pleasure[3:07:49]   that I officially announce and present to you guys today[3:07:52]   the preeminent global smash burger experience,[3:07:56]   Tencent Burger.[3:07:57]   Now open City Walk Jeddah.[3:08:04]   Oh, City Walk, like, oh, Jeddah.[3:08:09]   You know, I hope you're not just putting that[3:08:11]   into Google Maps and hoping for the best.[3:08:14]   I thought that was Jake's girlfriend's name.[3:08:16]   Yes, wow, look at that.[3:08:18]   Okay, so there is-[3:08:18]   Wait, the best part about his burger thing,[3:08:20]   go back into that note and click the brand story[3:08:23]   that's on the wall.[3:08:24]   It's just like-[3:08:25]   Oh, God, yeah, this is bad.[3:08:27]   It's like the picture.[3:08:29]   Yeah, give me a sec.[3:08:30]   World tasting and rating.[3:08:32]   Big Mike's Burger Joint brand story, okay.[3:08:35]   Oh, boy.[3:08:37]   Which part?[3:08:39]   Just read it for like a second and it-[3:08:41]   Ever since I was a little boy growing up[3:08:43]   in the suburbs of Milford, Connecticut,[3:08:46]   I was in love with cheeseburgers.[3:08:48]   My grandmother would take me to a place called Paul's[3:08:51]   after Little League Baseball games.[3:08:54]   And we'd sit and eat burgers and watch the toy train.[3:08:58]   You'd eat multiple burgers with your grandma.[3:09:01]   Grandmas don't eat more than one burger and either do kids.[3:09:05]   We would sit there and eat burger after burger[3:09:08]   as grandma admired the toy train.[3:09:12]   I would always argue with everyone in town[3:09:14]   whether Paul's on their Greeks had a better burger.[3:09:20]   This burger battle was like an obsession to me.[3:09:24]   Even from a young age, as I'm getting older[3:09:26]   and start making content, my burger lust.[3:09:31]   Is there any, I really don't want to read through all this.[3:09:33]   You don't have to, but that gets-[3:09:34]   But it's all nonsense.[3:09:36]   Here's the worst part.[3:09:38]   Mike Malgic, founder, 10 out of 10 burger.[3:09:43]   He was like Dave Thomas.[3:09:45]   Yes, yes, he is the Dave Thomas of some Saudi Arabian's[3:09:50]   very sketchy burger restaurant where I'm positive[3:09:53]   they're stealing one of the most famous LA burger recipes[3:09:57]   there is.[3:09:58]   My burger lust.[3:09:59]   And this is a joint.[3:10:00]   So big Mike goes to this burger place that he stole from[3:10:03]   in LA, makes friends with the manager[3:10:07]   and then runs off to Saudi Arabia to sell the man's secret.[3:10:12]   Some friend, huh?[3:10:14]   Some friend.[3:10:15]   What else did we learn about his burger place?[3:10:18]   Was there something in his vlog here at 650?[3:10:20]   Let's see what this is.[3:10:22]   People want to catch up on big Mike, of course, yeah.[3:10:26]   650, here we are from-[3:10:28]   This is when he goes to visit it.[3:10:29]   Oh, he goes to visit it in Saudi Arabia.[3:10:31]   We're going to see some sandy fellas[3:10:34]   try their first burger.[3:10:37]   Let's not do that again, okay?[3:10:39]   No way.[3:10:42]   All this insane excitement has really made me hungry.[3:10:45]   Moment of truth, guys.[3:10:46]   Right now we are going to the first ever 10, 10 burger.[3:10:50]   I want to see how scalable this is.[3:10:52]   The reason why it's not already in your city[3:10:54]   is because I didn't want to ghost kitchen it.[3:10:56]   I didn't want to franchise it right off the bat.[3:10:58]   I wanted to-[3:10:58]   You could open up 10 of these places on your block[3:11:00]   if you wanted to.[3:11:01]   I could open up one of these burger places right now.[3:11:04]   Whoa.[3:11:06]   Whoa.[3:11:08]   Big commotion out there.[3:11:10]   Yeah, the reason I didn't want to open up in LA[3:11:13]   is because I wanted to, what?[3:11:15]   What would be a reason to open up in Saudi Arabia?[3:11:20]   Imagine going there.[3:11:22]   Have you ever thought about that?[3:11:23]   Having to go there?[3:11:25]   Is it worth it?[3:11:26]   How much money are you saving opening it up there?[3:11:29]   I don't think it's your restaurant.[3:11:31]   Troll it because I need to make sure[3:11:32]   that every burger that comes out is phenomenal.[3:11:34]   Wow.[3:11:36]   Yeah.[3:11:37]   One for you.[3:11:38]   There it is.[3:11:39]   Wow.[3:11:40]   Salaam-[3:11:40]   And remember, there's no behind the scenes[3:11:43]   of building the burger joint.[3:11:45]   There's no grand opening with Big Mike there.[3:11:48]   Here he is just stopping by his restaurant.[3:11:52]   Seems like weeks after it's been opened.[3:11:55]   This is his first time showing up.[3:11:56]   He's showing up to a business that's already been running.[3:11:59]   Shouldn't he be there?[3:12:02]   All right.[3:12:02]   He's the founder.[3:12:03]   Oh, and look, look at these guys.[3:12:05]   I mean, come on.[3:12:07]   Imagine you tell your parents I'm working with this guy.[3:12:09]   I saw those guys in the newspaper when I was a kid.[3:12:15]   I mean, come on.[3:12:18]   He's gonna get kidnapped like a doll.[3:12:19]   You're gonna get kidnapped.[3:12:21]   This guy is gonna get beaten to death in the street[3:12:23]   by all the 10 out of 10 burger people[3:12:25]   who find out that this recipe has been stolen.[3:12:29]   They're going, oh my God.[3:12:31]   Poverty.[3:12:33]   Sorry, just some poverty in the corner there.[3:12:34]   Look at that.[3:12:35]   Like a little ghoulie.[3:12:37]   Poverty, ghoulie.[3:12:38]   I hate other countries.[3:12:39]   They sicken me.[3:12:41]   I feel like I've met this dude before.[3:12:43]   How you doing?[3:12:44]   Ha ha ha![3:12:45]   He made it![3:12:46]   Where is he?[3:12:46]   Don't you like my music?[3:12:47]   Where is he?[3:12:48]   He came from Mexico to Saudi Arabia for a burger.[3:12:51]   Dangerous![3:12:52]   I must say he's a 10 out of 10 burger man.[3:12:56]   This burger shirt that he sold, we have this shirt.[3:12:59]   Yup, fuck yeah.[3:13:00]   I bought a large, I'm not kidding.[3:13:01]   It's the biggest shirt.[3:13:02]   It's like a privacy tent that I could put on.[3:13:05]   I could change my clothes under this shirt[3:13:07]   when I'm camping.[3:13:09]   This shirt is so lazy and so uncreative.[3:13:12]   It says the night shift world tour.[3:13:16]   And on the back is simply every burger restaurant[3:13:21]   he's tried.[3:13:23]   So on the back of this shirt,[3:13:24]   like he thinks this is so, it's not cool on your shirt.[3:13:26]   It says five guys in and out,[3:13:31]   Shake Shack, McDonald's, Wendy's.[3:13:37]   It's like, okay, cool.[3:13:39]   A list of fast food you've tried.[3:13:43]   Like that's not appropriate for the back of a shirt.[3:13:47]   There he is.[3:13:49]   This is 10 out of 10 burger.[3:13:50]   So this is the scene from the movie, The Menu,[3:13:52]   where the girl just wants the best juicy burger at the end.[3:13:55]   They have hanging on the wall is a picture of the girl[3:13:58]   in the new movie, The Menu, eating the burger.[3:14:02]   A scene America did not sign off on is classic yet.[3:14:06]   Sorry, not classic enough to frame.[3:14:09]   You can't be just framing scenes[3:14:13]   from 56 percenters on Rotten Tomatoes.[3:14:18]   Oh my God, who do we have next?[3:14:19]   This is crazy.[3:14:20]   So obviously some Saudi Arabian guy[3:14:24]   thought this would be a great, I'll hand out everything.[3:14:26]   You just tell America, hey.[3:14:29]   Actually, I think there's a clip with Logan.[3:14:31]   Explaining it kind of.[3:14:32]   Okay, but look at the stuff Big Mike's been allowed.[3:14:35]   It's funny, because it seems like Big Mike[3:14:36]   did help out with the wall design.[3:14:39]   Because a lot of this stuff is right up Big Mike's alley.[3:14:42]   The Menu, they haven't heard of The Menu.[3:14:44]   That isn't out yet in Saudi Arabia.[3:14:46]   That's coming out 10 years from now.[3:14:49]   Hotel Menu, we cannot watch that movie.[3:14:51]   That is new movie from months ago.[3:14:54]   All right, look at this.[3:14:55]   Look what else is on the wall here.[3:14:57]   Oops, how did that do that?[3:15:00]   Oh wait, that was him.[3:15:01]   Cool.[3:15:02]   Thanks.[3:15:03]   Yeah![3:15:06]   So this is the scene from the movie, The Menu,[3:15:08]   where the girl just wants the best juicy burger at the end.[3:15:11]   Pac-50.[3:15:12]   We got Samuel.[3:15:13]   Pac-50.[3:15:15]   Why?[3:15:17]   Pac-50.[3:15:18]   We make it American, you promise?[3:15:20]   We make it American, right?[3:15:22]   Pac-50.[3:15:25]   Who else you know?[3:15:27]   Nas.[3:15:28]   Raymond.[3:15:30]   People will eat this shit up.[3:15:31]   They love Nas in America.[3:15:33]   Menu, where the girl just wants the best juicy burger[3:15:35]   at the end.[3:15:36]   Pac-50.[3:15:38]   We got Samuel L. Jackson eating a burger,[3:15:39]   eating a Royale with cheese from Pulp Fiction.[3:15:42]   I want this to be about the culture.[3:15:43]   I want it to be about the music I listen to[3:15:45]   and all those types of things.[3:15:46]   Listen, listen, I'm a burger connoisseur, okay?[3:15:48]   I'll give you my honest opinion.[3:15:50]   Come in the kitchen.[3:15:52]   Imagine even being in, I mean, really.[3:15:54]   I'd be like this.[3:15:56]   Please, please, please, please, please.[3:15:59]   Sir, this is just a downtown area.[3:16:01]   Oh yeah, right.[3:16:05]   As I make peace with the fact that I'm gonna be[3:16:08]   detained in a hole for the next seven years.[3:16:12]   Saudi Arabia.[3:16:13]   Would you even have the guts to go anywhere near that place?[3:16:16]   Seriously?[3:16:17]   That to me.[3:16:18]   Well, when I see like a plane that says Emirates,[3:16:20]   that might as well be a bomb.[3:16:23]   Emirates.[3:16:25]   And then, oh yeah, it's so United, I bet.[3:16:28]   The United Arab Nation of Emirates.[3:16:31]   You ever seen that?[3:16:32]   I remember the first time I saw that shit.[3:16:34]   The United Arab Nation of Emirates?[3:16:38]   I was blown away that that was a thing[3:16:40]   when I first discovered that six years ago.[3:16:44]   I couldn't believe it.[3:16:44]   I go, there must be some mistake.[3:16:46]   You mean the United States?[3:16:49]   Because I've never heard of this Arab Emirates Union.[3:16:53]   Nuts, just twisted.[3:16:56]   Here they are making the burgers.[3:16:57]   It's a direct copy.[3:17:01]   Obviously you guys have already seen the branding.[3:17:03]   This is the box.[3:17:04]   Terrible branding.[3:17:04]   The bags, the fries, everything.[3:17:05]   But I want to talk about the burger.[3:17:07]   This represents everything.[3:17:09]   Stole it.[3:17:09]   That I have concepted in my mind,[3:17:12]   experimented with, developed.[3:17:13]   And so what you get is this beautifully juicy smash burger[3:17:17]   with all of the elements that I absolutely love[3:17:20]   from burgers I've eaten across the world.[3:17:21]   I've tried many, many, many different types of burgers.[3:17:23]   I hate this guy.[3:17:24]   Around the world.[3:17:25]   Just like you.[3:17:26]   Bismillah.[3:17:27]   And he'll hang with hundreds of guys like this.[3:17:29]   I don't know what he thinks the outcome of this is gonna be.[3:17:33]   Hanging out with guys like this.[3:17:34]   Oh, he's eating hundreds of burgers.[3:17:36]   Yeah, he's just like love from age three.[3:17:37]   He really knows food.[3:17:40]   From another country thinks he knows all about food.[3:17:42]   Oh, he knows all about burgers in Saudi Arabia.[3:17:45]   Okay.[3:17:47]   I know you said it's long and hard to find the burger.[3:17:50]   That's 10 out of 10.[3:17:51]   And honest to God, this is 10 out of 10.[3:17:54]   By the way, that's, I mean, Dave would tell you,[3:17:56]   that's a rookie score.[3:17:59]   So Mike's own cardinal rule,[3:18:02]   which he's stolen from Dave is when you interview[3:18:04]   or when you're hanging out with a guest,[3:18:06]   rating a burger, Mike will go, or Dave will go,[3:18:11]   what do you rate it?[3:18:11]   And the guy will go, it's a nine.[3:18:14]   And he goes, first of all, that's a rookie score.[3:18:16]   You gotta do the point system.[3:18:18]   Gotta do the point system.[3:18:20]   And Big Mike of course does that too.[3:18:22]   So it's never gonna be a solid number.[3:18:24]   It's always gonna be a 7.2, a 7.3.[3:18:28]   And when Mike's guess,[3:18:30]   he goes, what did you think of the burger?[3:18:32]   It's an eight.[3:18:33]   They always say, hi.[3:18:34]   The guests are always as high as it goes.[3:18:36]   Eight, rookie score.[3:18:37]   That's a rookie score.[3:18:38]   We only do.[3:18:39]   And he just does this blatantly.[3:18:41]   Just steals Dave's whole thing[3:18:43]   that he's worked 10 years on.[3:18:45]   Even when Dave came out with the one bite frozen pizza,[3:18:49]   it's the only pizza he ever rated a 10.[3:18:52]   Yeah, and Big Mike.[3:18:53]   Even stole that as well.[3:18:55]   Even stole that as well by rating his burger[3:18:57]   a 10 out of 10.[3:18:59]   10, 10 burger based on Big Mike's[3:19:04]   stolen burger review segment.[3:19:11]   10 out of 10.[3:19:13]   This guy's a machine, bro.[3:19:15]   I've literally watched him make like 600 burgers[3:19:17]   in the past 10 seconds.[3:19:19]   Oh yeah, that looks good.[3:19:20]   That's a good bite.[3:19:21]   That's fucking amazing.[3:19:23]   Best burger I've ever had here.[3:19:24]   It's perfectly cooked, bro.[3:19:25]   No shit.[3:19:26]   One point away.[3:19:27]   Better than sitting in a puddle, rolling a leaf?[3:19:30]   Yes.[3:19:32]   There should not be burgers there.[3:19:34]   Look at this guy.[3:19:35]   You know, what's he planning to do?[3:19:40]   Hijacker.[3:19:41]   They're all hijackers to me.[3:19:43]   Point one away from Big Dad.[3:19:47]   Without even the slightest imperfection,[3:19:49]   I would change nothing about it.[3:19:51]   I can't believe I'm saying this right now.[3:19:53]   This is a perfect burger.[3:19:55]   This is the first time I've ever given out a perfect score[3:19:57]   on this channel.[3:19:58]   This burger's a 10 out of 10.[3:19:59]   No bias, absolutely nothing in it for me.[3:20:02]   Do we have any listeners in Saudi Arabia[3:20:04]   that could get their hands on this burger?[3:20:07]   Do we have anybody down there[3:20:08]   that could go physically check this out?[3:20:10]   Let me know.[3:20:11]   Just texted me and said he's having a pop-up in Chicago.[3:20:14]   Big Mike is?[3:20:15]   Yeah.[3:20:15]   Pop-up in Chicago, what date and time?[3:20:18]   We'll send somebody out there.[3:20:20]   Is he going to be there himself?[3:20:22]   That would be great.[3:20:23]   A 10-10 burger pop-up.[3:20:25]   Who would like to go?[3:20:26]   How about we send two people to Chicago,[3:20:29]   preferably from Chicago,[3:20:32]   and we'll send them to 10-10 burger, all expenses paid.[3:20:37]   This is way better than Saudi Arabia.[3:20:39]   Yeah, cause I don't think I want to send anyone[3:20:41]   to Saudi Arabia.[3:20:42]   That'll cost me about $16,000.[3:20:45]   It's so fucking far.[3:20:46]   And you shouldn't even be allowed to go there[3:20:48]   as a US citizen.[3:20:49]   That should be like for army only.[3:20:52]   So where is the, what are the details[3:20:54]   of the Chicago pop-up here?[3:20:56]   Let's announce this and let's get two of our guys,[3:20:59]   preferably troublemakers.[3:21:02]   And that fist had nothing to do with it.[3:21:03]   I was just cheering you on.[3:21:05]   That's not about cause violence.[3:21:07]   But maybe we could get two people who want to go to Chicago[3:21:11]   and try this burger for us.[3:21:13]   Maybe get some footage, maybe tell Big Mike.[3:21:16]   Red Bar?[3:21:17]   We're here from Red Bar.[3:21:18]   Yeah, we're here from Red Bar tasting the burgers.[3:21:22]   And we're reviewing these on Red Bar.[3:21:23]   We're correspondents from Red Bar.[3:21:26]   You say that to Mike during the meet and greet?[3:21:29]   Get some footage of that?[3:21:30]   It's on June 23rd to 25th.[3:21:32]   June 23rd through June 25th in Chicago.[3:21:37]   Lyrical Lemonade Summer Smash.[3:21:39]   Lyrical Lemonade Summer Smash.[3:21:42]   Whatever that is.[3:21:43]   Okay, so if you live in Chicago or you live near[3:21:46]   where you'll drive to it, how about this?[3:21:50]   All expensive paid.[3:21:51]   We'll give you and a friend $200 each for the day[3:21:56]   for per diem to go down, get a burger,[3:22:00]   get a picture with Mike.[3:22:02]   We'll of course pay for all the burger stuff too,[3:22:04]   but we'll pay for your ride.[3:22:06]   How about this?[3:22:07]   At the end of the night, you get that footage.[3:22:10]   We get you a nice hotel in Chicago for the night[3:22:13]   to sleep off your success.[3:22:15]   How about that?[3:22:16]   Message me or email me mike at redbarradio.net.[3:22:19]   Let's get this June 23rd to 25th.[3:22:22]   Plus we of course need a true review of the burger.[3:22:24]   A true review.[3:22:25]   So what we would like is a listener[3:22:28]   and you go in the meet and greet.[3:22:29]   You meet Mike and you say,[3:22:30]   we are reviewing this burger for Red Bar[3:22:34]   and you get that on film.[3:22:36]   You get his response.[3:22:38]   You get the hotel.[3:22:40]   Yeah, there it is.[3:22:42]   Message me if you're going to do that.[3:22:44]   The 200 for you and a friend will be available instantly.[3:22:48]   We'll give you that budget right now.[3:22:49]   Don't spend it all now.[3:22:51]   You're going to need it for the day.[3:22:52]   And then of course, if you get the video,[3:22:54]   you message me the video right after it happens,[3:22:57]   then your hotel becomes unlocked[3:23:00]   and we send you the information for your hotel that night.[3:23:04]   And it's going to be nice.[3:23:05]   Maybe the Trump.[3:23:07]   We stayed in a beautiful suite at the Trump hotel.[3:23:10]   We had a blast.[3:23:10]   We stayed for one night, right?[3:23:12]   We rented the biggest suite at the Trump hotel[3:23:14]   when we lived in Chicago.[3:23:15]   It was a great night.[3:23:16]   And it was great.[3:23:17]   We did MDMA.[3:23:19]   We had a view of all the skyscrapers in Chicago[3:23:22]   and they really, they started getting twisty[3:23:24]   towards the end of that MDMA.[3:23:25]   They became guys.[3:23:28]   Big buildings.[3:23:29]   And Donald Trump's hotel is actually a lot of fun[3:23:31]   if you get that big suite.[3:23:32]   It's too big.[3:23:33]   There's like a lot of,[3:23:34]   it looks like the tables have been removed because of COVID.[3:23:39]   Like it's,[3:23:40]   I remember when you would go to restaurants during COVID,[3:23:42]   you're like, this restaurant looks awful.[3:23:45]   And then you would go, wait a minute.[3:23:46]   The only problem with this restaurant[3:23:47]   is there's only one table every so often.[3:23:51]   Isn't that crazy how much that made a restaurant look bad?[3:23:54]   You take away half the tables at a restaurant.[3:23:56]   This place looks like hell.[3:23:58]   I mean, it's liminal.[3:24:00]   It starts looking like a Christian weirdo fucking[3:24:04]   where the troops go to settle their score[3:24:07]   at the end of the week.[3:24:07]   Cause they're so poor.[3:24:08]   What do they call that?[3:24:10]   Knights of Columbus?[3:24:11]   Yeah.[3:24:12]   I've been to restaurants now that I thought were dumps.[3:24:17]   And I go, this place is actually great.[3:24:19]   Restaurants only look good with a lot of people[3:24:21]   and a lot of tables.[3:24:24]   So yeah, if you want to stay at the Trump hotel,[3:24:26]   we went to the Trump hotel.[3:24:27]   You got a lot of room to move.[3:24:28]   The suite is huge.[3:24:29]   You can probably fit 200 people[3:24:31]   in the suite that we stayed in.[3:24:34]   But there's like two chairs.[3:24:35]   But yeah, it's very empty.[3:24:38]   It's so empty that you're going, what did I pay for this?[3:24:42]   Just to have a giant living room space.[3:24:44]   I mean, it's open.[3:24:45]   It's not nice.[3:24:46]   You pay for the window basically.[3:24:47]   You pay for the window.[3:24:48]   And we will pay for you.[3:24:49]   And also we got the biggest suite for only like $400[3:24:53]   because nobody will stay there.[3:24:55]   No one will stay there.[3:24:55]   So that's the secret.[3:24:57]   We don't live there now.[3:24:58]   So I'll give away my secret.[3:25:00]   You go to the Trump hotel.[3:25:03]   Yeah, maybe it's different now.[3:25:04]   But this was during his presidency.[3:25:06]   2017 when he was the most hated.[3:25:09]   In a liberal city, no one would stay at the hotel.[3:25:11]   So we figured this.[3:25:13]   We went to the counter.[3:25:14]   We go, how much for the biggest suite you got tonight?[3:25:17]   Cause we know no one's staying here.[3:25:20]   And I think they gave us a price[3:25:21]   and then they gave us even a lower price.[3:25:23]   It was like nothing.[3:25:24]   It was like $476 for what should have been[3:25:28]   like a $3,200 suite.[3:25:31]   Three different rooms.[3:25:32]   The biggest suite they had.[3:25:33]   I mean, it was almost the whole floor[3:25:36]   of the top of the Trump hotel.[3:25:37]   I miss that place.[3:25:38]   Oh, I would kill to go there.[3:25:40]   And it's very fun to go through the Trump hotel.[3:25:42]   It's almost like visiting the White House.[3:25:43]   There's tons of Trump merch there.[3:25:44]   Yeah, merch, memorabilia.[3:25:47]   And there's very few guests.[3:25:49]   And the guests you do see are crooked, crooked businessmen.[3:25:52]   The Trump hotel is like the best place,[3:25:54]   the patio to see a view of all the Chicago buildings.[3:25:57]   That's the thing.[3:25:58]   Because everywhere else is packed[3:25:59]   and you have to pay.[3:26:00]   This is the biggest secret in Chicago.[3:26:02]   For the best view of the downtown river[3:26:05]   and all the buildings downtown,[3:26:08]   you can't beat the Trump.[3:26:09]   You go up there and it's dead empty[3:26:11]   and you just go up there for free.[3:26:12]   You go to that.[3:26:13]   What is the place called?[3:26:15]   The restaurant on the Trump hotel in Chicago?[3:26:17]   Nobody goes there[3:26:18]   because it's so unpopular to support Trump.[3:26:21]   So you've got the whole patio to yourself.[3:26:22]   It's the best view in the city.[3:26:24]   If this wasn't the Trump hotel,[3:26:26]   you would never be able to get into it to get that view.[3:26:29]   Every other place around it,[3:26:31]   anything similar is fully packed.[3:26:33]   You gotta be on the list.[3:26:35]   Out of the Trump hotel.[3:26:36]   That is a secret.[3:26:37]   Chicago secrets now being unlocked here on Red Bar[3:26:41]   since we don't live there anymore.[3:26:44]   Okay, let's hear a little bit more about Big Mike's[3:26:46]   and then we'll show you what happened here today[3:26:49]   with the guys.[3:26:50]   I will bring this burger to LA.[3:26:51]   With Jake and Big Dike.[3:26:51]   I will bring this burger to New York City.[3:26:53]   This burger will go to London.[3:26:54]   Just for the fuck of it, to Dusseldorf.[3:26:56]   We're about to go on a journey together.[3:26:58]   We just did it with Prime[3:26:59]   and now we're about to do it again with 1010.[3:27:00]   I love you guys and I'm excited to take you with me.[3:27:04]   10 out of 10, baby.[3:27:06]   Let's go.[3:27:07]   This looks shady.[3:27:08]   Yesterday, we got a chance to.[3:27:08]   So there was that.[3:27:10]   And then we've got Logan.[3:27:12]   Look what Logan let out the other day.[3:27:15]   This is at 3820.[3:27:16]   This is from the Impulsive Puck.[3:27:18]   What'd he do?[3:27:19]   Nothing.[3:27:20]   Look at this.[3:27:20]   Here we go, 3820.[3:27:22]   Who's this Sky Weather?[3:27:23]   What is this guy's name?[3:27:24]   Style Weather.[3:27:25]   Yeah, he's like an MMA fighter.[3:27:26]   I hate this shit, man.[3:27:28]   When I hear this, oh dude, Style,[3:27:30]   but when I hear the last name of an MMA fighter,[3:27:34]   I get mad.[3:27:36]   I get mad.[3:27:38]   My least favorite thing is listening to a bunch of guys[3:27:41]   say the last names of MMA.[3:27:44]   Oh, did you see what Alvarez did[3:27:45]   to his fellow partner the other day?[3:27:47]   No, sorry, missed it.[3:27:49]   Not a popular sport amongst classy people.[3:27:52]   Sorry, it's a trash sport for people who dress in high hats.[3:27:58]   This is Style Bender.[3:28:02]   Of course, he's Team Prime now.[3:28:04]   That looks really nice.[3:28:06]   That looks really good.[3:28:07]   You look just like Blake Linder.[3:28:10]   Google that.[3:28:11]   You look like Blazendary.[3:28:12]   That's not a good look.[3:28:14]   All right, let's see what Logan, let's slip.[3:28:16]   Logan can't hold it anymore.[3:28:18]   He's been sitting for two months watching Big Mike lie[3:28:20]   to people saying that he owns a burger restaurant, right?[3:28:24]   So Logan's sitting there and as the owner and CEO[3:28:28]   and chief operator of Prime Inc,[3:28:32]   he can't sit back and watch Mike pretend[3:28:35]   he also has a company.[3:28:37]   Meanwhile, Logan's the guy with the companies.[3:28:41]   He can't sit there and watch Mike lie.[3:28:43]   So he blurts this out, watch.[3:28:46]   Literally nothing.[3:28:47]   You know why?[3:28:49]   I don't know why.[3:28:49]   You got to ask him.[3:28:50]   I have a theory.[3:28:51]   Tell me.[3:28:52]   Because I have a couple of friends like this.[3:28:53]   Yeah.[3:28:54]   I wasn't going to start a hospital response team.[3:28:58]   No, no, no, no.[3:28:59]   Well, this one was like, I did these.[3:29:01]   I did these.[3:29:02]   You're still around.[3:29:02]   No, no, no.[3:29:04]   I love Mike.[3:29:05]   Well, I don't know what you're talking about.[3:29:06]   I'm saying this, I'm saying this.[3:29:09]   Some people have a serious problem executing change.[3:29:13]   Change is hard.[3:29:15]   People don't like change.[3:29:16]   It's uncomfortable and it's foreign.[3:29:19]   It is the unknown oftentimes.[3:29:21]   And that's a scary leap to take.[3:29:23]   Are you going to build out the example[3:29:24]   of what change I'm avoiding?[3:29:28]   You took a while to launch 1010 Burger, dude.[3:29:30]   It's not easy.[3:29:31]   Did he do it?[3:29:31]   Yeah, it's done.[3:29:32]   There you go.[3:29:33]   Yeah, but he only did it because Saudi was like,[3:29:37]   we are going to do this for you.[3:29:38]   We'll do everything.[3:29:39]   We'll handle it.[3:29:40]   And Mike had to do it then.[3:29:43]   He only did this because Saudi,[3:29:48]   that's what they call everybody there.[3:29:50]   Saudi said, we will do it all.[3:29:52]   And Big Mike did not want that information out there.[3:29:56]   He wanted to pretend he was the owner[3:29:58]   of a burger restaurant in Saudi Arabia.[3:30:01]   It makes perfect sense.[3:30:03]   And then Logan says, no, no, no.[3:30:05]   The only reason Mike was even able to do this[3:30:08]   is because Saudi, listen to this.[3:30:10]   There you go.[3:30:11]   Yeah, but hold on a sec.[3:30:12]   He only did it because Saudi was like,[3:30:15]   we are going to do this for you.[3:30:16]   We'll do everything.[3:30:17]   We'll handle it.[3:30:18]   And Mike had to do it then.[3:30:20]   No laugh, by the way.[3:30:21]   Usually on a little roast like this,[3:30:24]   Mike goes, oh, no laugh.[3:30:28]   Just kind of like, fuck, fuck, fuck.[3:30:29]   It's out there.[3:30:30]   Let's hope people aren't really listening to this part[3:30:34]   because I've been wanting everyone to think[3:30:36]   that this is my, solely my restaurant in Saudi Arabia.[3:30:42]   Look at him, he's not happy with this.[3:30:44]   There you go.[3:30:45]   Yeah, but hold on a sec.[3:30:46]   He only did it because Saudi was like,[3:30:49]   we are going to do this for you.[3:30:50]   We'll do everything.[3:30:51]   We'll handle it.[3:30:52]   And Mike had to do it then.[3:30:53]   No, but also, and I don't know how he peeled it.[3:30:55]   It's Saudi Arabia.[3:30:56]   Yeah, but he still did.[3:30:58]   Sorry, Mike.[3:31:00]   We knew that, by the way.[3:31:03]   We knew you didn't do this by yourself, okay?[3:31:08]   And then look at Logan, you fucking little asshole.[3:31:10]   I can't believe you just did that to your friend.[3:31:12]   He's not out there telling everybody[3:31:13]   that you're just a spokeswoman for Prime.[3:31:17]   He pretends that you're the main owner of Prime for you.[3:31:20]   And you can't pretend that he's the main owner of burger.[3:31:23]   Right.[3:31:25]   Logan cannot sit back and watch him do the same schemes[3:31:29]   that he's getting away with.[3:31:30]   No way.[3:31:32]   No, but I don't know how he peeled it.[3:31:33]   This guy didn't do it.[3:31:34]   This guy didn't do it at all.[3:31:35]   But also, he may have been doing nothing.[3:31:37]   No talk about how Prime 10 10 burger.[3:31:40]   Good one, Logan.[3:31:41]   Thanks a lot.[3:31:42]   So Big Mike's got a sister[3:31:46]   and she's fucking fine.[3:31:48]   They call her, you know what they call her, Jules?[3:31:51]   Hey Big Dike.[3:31:55]   He's Hey Big Mike.[3:31:57]   They call her Hey Big Dike.[3:31:59]   She's an identical twain, okay?[3:32:02]   I mean, she looks like Big Mike in a wig.[3:32:07]   It's horrifying for everybody around.[3:32:09]   Like, Big Mike has her around a lot too.[3:32:13]   So they'll be like with Jake, all of Jake's scoons,[3:32:17]   Logan, all these Saudis.[3:32:19]   And then here's Hey Big Dike with her brand new baby[3:32:23]   that they named, that Big Mike, I think,[3:32:26]   forced her to name Sloan[3:32:28]   after the character E's girlfriend in Entourage.[3:32:34]   So Hey Big Dike's, yeah, Hey Big Dike, the sister,[3:32:38]   has his brand new baby, Baby Sloan.[3:32:41]   That Big Mike for sure told her to name[3:32:47]   because of Sloan for Entourage, right?[3:32:50]   Big Mike's favorite show that he based his life on.[3:32:54]   So she names the baby Sloan[3:32:56]   and she's bringing this baby around everywhere.[3:32:59]   What you're about to see here is a reveal[3:33:03]   showing that Hey Big Dike ain't really welcome[3:33:08]   rolling with Logan Paul and the Big Dikes.[3:33:13]   Hey Big Dike gets in the way[3:33:14]   and Big Mike gets very embarrassed[3:33:17]   of Hey Big Dike's attitude.[3:33:20]   Way too serious, she's looking fine as fuck.[3:33:22]   She is looking fine as fuck.[3:33:26]   Let's see, this is-[3:33:27]   Impulsive.[3:33:28]   Yeah, here it is.[3:33:29]   It's from Impulsive.[3:33:30]   No George Janko, right?[3:33:31]   How did you get the Nate Diaz look?[3:33:32]   He's gone.[3:33:34]   So this is Impulsive and this is a good one.[3:33:37]   And I think who was supposed to be on this episode?[3:33:41]   Was it Jeff was supposed to be?[3:33:42]   Okay, here she is, Hey Big Dike.[3:33:44]   Look at her, looking fine as fuck.[3:33:47]   She's only wearing a shirt.[3:33:50]   Do you see this?[3:33:51]   She could be the new Miranda Sings now that Colleen is out.[3:33:54]   This looks exactly, and we know what you did,[3:33:57]   Colleen Ballinger.[3:33:59]   Is that her name?[3:34:00]   Yeah.[3:34:00]   Colleen Ballinger, Adam told me everything.[3:34:04]   Does anyone know what that's about?[3:34:06]   I hope so, cause I'm addicted.[3:34:08]   If you could figure out what that's about.[3:34:11]   Trip to Chicago.[3:34:14]   There's Colleen Ballinger, AKA, Hey Big Dike,[3:34:17]   Big Mike's sister.[3:34:18]   And as you can see, they have the exact same body.[3:34:21]   The only difference is she has no beard and a wig.[3:34:25]   This episode, it was like blowing my mind how similar[3:34:28]   their faces were like literally fucking,[3:34:31]   I don't know how they're not twins.[3:34:32]   And she is wearing just a shirt.[3:34:35]   So this is a long shirt, no pants.[3:34:37]   Keep that in mind.[3:34:38]   She's drinking mom wine.[3:34:41]   Hell yeah.[3:34:41]   She's drinking a nice glass of mom wine[3:34:45]   and she's getting a little too comfortable.[3:34:47]   Logan has never been comfortable around Hey Big Dike.[3:34:52]   He doesn't like other people's families.[3:34:55]   He really doesn't.[3:34:56]   He turns into a kid.[3:34:59]   When other people's family members are around,[3:35:01]   he doesn't really know how to talk to them.[3:35:02]   Like we all should act when somebody else's family[3:35:05]   is around.[3:35:06]   Kid up, freeze up, act like a kid.[3:35:08]   That's what I do.[3:35:10]   So you could tell her little trip to Puerto Rico here.[3:35:14]   Hey Big Dike, she took the new baby,[3:35:16]   visited Mike and Logan in Puerto Rico,[3:35:19]   but doesn't really quite fit in with Jake's[3:35:23]   tough guy friends.[3:35:25]   We're gonna go to our first time code here.[3:35:26]   And this is 4145.[3:35:28]   Do you wanna do all of them[3:35:29]   or do you just wanna do the Jake?[3:35:31]   Well, this sounded really funny.[3:35:32]   That's pretty good, 4145.[3:35:33]   Yeah, it's pretty good.[3:35:34]   Logan's gonna do a little song.[3:35:37]   So Logan's gonna do a little rap for us, 4145.[3:35:40]   Let's see what he's got.[3:35:41]   So remember just weeks ago,[3:35:42]   George Janko did a rap on this show.[3:35:47]   What time are we doing?[3:35:48]   4145 and I think Jake's here, right?[3:35:51]   Yes, brother Jake is here.[3:35:53]   Uh oh.[3:35:55]   And brother Jake has been really mean to Logan lately.[3:35:58]   Like brother Jake looks down at Logan[3:36:00]   as like a fool now.[3:36:02]   Yes.[3:36:02]   Like a wannabe.[3:36:03]   Let's see, can we see brother Jake?[3:36:05]   It's Jake's time now, he's got Utah.[3:36:06]   There's brother Jake.[3:36:09]   Now, if you thought Logan acted like a little kid[3:36:11]   in front of Hey Big Dike,[3:36:12]   wait till you see Jake's behavior towards Hey Big Dike.[3:36:15]   I mean, he won't even look at her when he speaks[3:36:18]   or when she speaks.[3:36:19]   He pretends she doesn't exist.[3:36:21]   She is like way too beneath him, especially at this point.[3:36:25]   But she tries to talk to Jake[3:36:27]   as if they're all one big friend group.[3:36:30]   No, no, no.[3:36:31]   He doesn't even like Hey Big Mike.[3:36:32]   He definitely doesn't like Hey Big Dike.[3:36:34]   All right, let's see what Logan does here.[3:36:36]   A little rap for us.[3:36:37]   We love stuff.[3:36:38]   That he came up with.[3:36:39]   We love cute stuff like this.[3:36:40]   Us glasses.[3:36:41]   That's fine.[3:36:43]   AI, none of that stuff matters.[3:36:45]   It's fine.[3:36:47]   Leave Ron DeSantis out of it, I'm sure.[3:36:49]   That's what I was gonna say.[3:36:50]   Logan's gonna fight someone.[3:36:51]   I literally was gonna say,[3:36:52]   you're probably gonna bring up Ron DeSantis next.[3:36:53]   I swear to God.[3:36:54]   Wow.[3:36:55]   I swear to God.[3:36:56]   Bro, listen, I got a topic sheet here, dude, all right?[3:36:58]   So yeah, Big Mike was just made fun of[3:37:00]   for bringing up AI once again.[3:37:02]   He always wants to talk about AI[3:37:04]   or Elon Musk's devices and stuff.[3:37:07]   Like every episode?[3:37:08]   Every episode.[3:37:09]   He just wants to talk about[3:37:10]   Elon Musk's central nervous system plug-in[3:37:15]   that Elon lies about, just like the power car.[3:37:18]   When's the power car coming out, huh?[3:37:21]   The power truck.[3:37:23]   We still haven't seen those hit the road.[3:37:26]   You know, Toyota's gonna have their new Forerunner[3:37:28]   by that time, right?[3:37:30]   Wheeler guys, you all know that joke.[3:37:33]   All right, here it is.[3:37:34]   Logan's gonna do a rap.[3:37:35]   Have you seen those old- So do I.[3:37:36]   Have you seen those old rappers on TikTok[3:37:39]   named Pete and Bass?[3:37:40]   Oh yeah, they're like foreign.[3:37:42]   These dudes are incredible.[3:37:44]   Is that what you were rapping?[3:37:45]   Yes, listen to these guys.[3:37:47]   Pete and Bass, they're famous on TikTok.[3:37:49]   They're older gentlemen and they got bars.[3:37:51]   Look at this.[3:37:52]   What are you showing us is this gimmick from TikTok.[3:37:57]   This is why you can't go on TikTok, it's just gimmicks.[3:38:00]   It's a gimmick of an old man.[3:38:02]   And you know what's so funny about this old man, Jules?[3:38:05]   He's doing a rap.[3:38:08]   This is so hilarious.[3:38:10]   Cause he's old, he shouldn't know anything.[3:38:12]   Actually he should, rap is for-[3:38:14]   Boomer out of it, old man.[3:38:16]   This guy's not even that old.[3:38:17]   I mean, this guy's about my age.[3:38:21]   Show Logan a rap video of me.[3:38:22]   He'll be like, look at this old man do a rap.[3:38:25]   He's 90.[3:38:28]   So this guy's not even that old.[3:38:30]   He's got earrings.[3:38:31]   The only thing old about him is his goatee is gray.[3:38:35]   That's it.[3:38:37]   But of course this fools all of TikTok[3:38:40]   into thinking an old man has bars.[3:38:42]   Listen to this.[3:38:43]   For some gangsta shit.[3:38:45]   Hammer in the truck and I can bang this clip[3:38:46]   and if you want to test us, I let the rap to rip.[3:38:49]   Rips up, get back in the sec, sec, sec in the suit.[3:38:51]   Stay pressed for the boys, go grab him.[3:38:53]   The clock is two o'clock.[3:38:54]   So he's showing the stupid video.[3:38:56]   Ooh, ooh.[3:39:01]   Chase pretending to like it.[3:39:03]   This is what George thought they were going to do[3:39:05]   when they played his song.[3:39:06]   Yeah, George really thought they were going to be[3:39:09]   like going nuts when they heard his Michael 335[3:39:14]   verse 228 freestyle.[3:39:17]   Yo, come on.[3:39:18]   Watch this.[3:39:19]   Come on, Mike, you dream of having that much swag.[3:39:21]   Hard.[3:39:22]   Look at you.[3:39:23]   Totally.[3:39:24]   Hard.[3:39:25]   It's like, they're like.[3:39:26]   You made me stop a physiological conversation[3:39:28]   about the future of brain implants[3:39:30]   to play a fucking 90 year old top hat wearing[3:39:35]   gangsta rapper.[3:39:37]   Is that what just happened?[3:39:37]   Yeah, yeah, yeah.[3:39:39]   Remember now Logan has an idea.[3:39:41]   Whenever Logan sees something that he likes,[3:39:42]   he has to do it immediately.[3:39:44]   So I think Logan's going to try his turn[3:39:47]   to do a rap that it appears Logan's been[3:39:49]   practicing this a lot.[3:39:52]   Okay, so we're going to hear a rap that,[3:39:54]   to me, it looks like Logan's been really practicing this.[3:39:57]   He wanted to debut it on the show.[3:39:58]   This was a planned thing and he's going to go for it.[3:40:03]   Will brother Jake approve?[3:40:05]   Let's find out.[3:40:06]   But it's a story's not done.[3:40:08]   I did it because the boys issued an open verse challenge.[3:40:13]   And I'm here to spit.[3:40:15]   Oh my.[3:40:16]   He's here to spit.[3:40:17]   I'm here to spit.[3:40:17]   He's here to spit.[3:40:18]   You guys are good.[3:40:19]   They're like, are you about to like be like Lil Mayboo?[3:40:22]   I'm about to spit, bro.[3:40:24]   Here, hold this up.[3:40:24]   I can't believe.[3:40:25]   Okay, so now remember brother Jake is the rapper.[3:40:28]   Everybody knows brother Jake, the rapper.[3:40:30]   Fresh out of London, amazing track.[3:40:32]   Fresh out of London.[3:40:34]   We still play that song here at our open mic[3:40:37]   that we run on Tuesdays here at the studio.[3:40:40]   We still play that all the time.[3:40:42]   We've played this at our karaoke bar[3:40:44]   that we have down the street that I'm running.[3:40:48]   So Jake is rapper, right?[3:40:50]   Remember Jake was boxer.[3:40:52]   Now Logan's boxer.[3:40:55]   Jake was rapper.[3:40:57]   Now Logan wants to be rapper.[3:40:59]   So Jake's not really into this.[3:41:01]   Click this one.[3:41:02]   Click that one that says open verse challenge.[3:41:04]   You just said that name.[3:41:05]   Lil Mayboo.[3:41:06]   Why?[3:41:07]   You don't think he's hard?[3:41:08]   He's hard as fuck.[3:41:10]   And these guys are like what Lil Mayboo's gonna be like[3:41:14]   when he's older.[3:41:16]   Okay.[3:41:16]   You can't deny like good music.[3:41:18]   What do I click?[3:41:19]   The one that says open verse challenge.[3:41:21]   Okay, got it.[3:41:22]   And then hold it next to the mic.[3:41:22]   Yeah, yeah, yeah.[3:41:23]   So I can, because I'm about to go crazy.[3:41:24]   Logan's gonna perform now.[3:41:25]   And put a little rap in.[3:41:26]   And he's been waiting for this.[3:41:27]   It's an open verse challenge.[3:41:30]   Hold it a little away.[3:41:32]   A little closer.[3:41:33]   All right, here we go.[3:41:35]   Yo, toe tag him, just learned backgammon.[3:41:38]   My mom's name Pam and I'm snacking on salmon.[3:41:40]   Chilling with my boys, sucking dick, making noise.[3:41:42]   Freestyle, getting sus.[3:41:43]   Holy shit, I'm about to bust.[3:41:45]   Island life, I don't fuck with Matt Rife.[3:41:46]   If I see him it's a sight, man.[3:41:48]   I just capped twice.[3:41:49]   Jake beats Nate, D-Tate is rapey.[3:41:51]   I'm being silly, cause Prime made a billy.[3:41:56]   He practiced.[3:42:01]   And he was nervous.[3:42:04]   This is like me at my Miley Cyrus performance last week.[3:42:09]   Nervous.[3:42:11]   Hopefully everybody likes it.[3:42:13]   And this is their expressions right after the rep.[3:42:19]   Here's Big Mike.[3:42:21]   Little embarrassed.[3:42:22]   Remember, this is Nas, Jay-Z.[3:42:25]   Here's Jake's face.[3:42:28]   Okay, and Hey Big Dyke thought it was amazing.[3:42:31]   I mean, she's on wine for God's sake.[3:42:34]   She thought this was incredible.[3:42:35]   That was really good.[3:42:37]   Did you just come up with that?[3:42:40]   Back to the wine, Big Dyke.[3:42:41]   Move over, by the way.[3:42:43]   You're sitting too close to the boys.[3:42:45]   All right, so let's see how they respond[3:42:47]   to Logan's big rap.[3:42:50]   Great, great.[3:42:51]   But can we briefly come back to the part[3:42:54]   about you sucking dick?[3:42:58]   Did I hear that?[3:43:01]   Wait, did I say that?[3:43:02]   100%.[3:43:04]   And do you like Matt Rife or no?[3:43:06]   I fuck with Matt Rife.[3:43:08]   This is what we're planning on doing today too.[3:43:11]   Put him on the list.[3:43:13]   But we're looking into people who like Matt Rife.[3:43:16]   So we're gonna show you this new comedian[3:43:18]   everyone's talking about.[3:43:19]   It's time.[3:43:21]   We had to do it.[3:43:22]   We're being messaged every day.[3:43:23]   Mike, Matt Rife, Matt Rife.[3:43:26]   I said, fine, let me take a look.[3:43:28]   You know, again, just like you,[3:43:29]   I thought he would be one of these boring TikTokers[3:43:32]   that we don't need to really know about.[3:43:35]   He's none of our business, but oh, he is.[3:43:38]   And I thought it would be interesting.[3:43:40]   This is part of my Matt Rife segment.[3:43:42]   But this took me by surprise here.[3:43:44]   Made me remember this.[3:43:47]   We wanna make a list of everybody[3:43:48]   who is publicly supporting Matt Rife.[3:43:51]   We have a little plan for that.[3:43:53]   So Logan is on the list.[3:43:55]   And you guys think of those now for our Matt Rife segment.[3:43:59]   Do you know any comedians[3:44:01]   that have openly supported Matt Rife?[3:44:03]   Please give us their names.[3:44:05]   If you could give those to Jules, I'd love to hear.[3:44:07]   I'm sure you've caught some.[3:44:09]   Okay, he did a Matt Rife diss in his district.[3:44:12]   Let's hear about that.[3:44:12]   And the, but I kept twice.[3:44:14]   I said, if I don't fuck with Matt Rife,[3:44:16]   if I see him, it's on site.[3:44:17]   Now I just kept twice.[3:44:19]   Okay, but come back to the part about you sucking dick.[3:44:22]   I don't think I said that.[3:44:23]   I think you did.[3:44:24]   He's lying, he's trying to get attention.[3:44:24]   So even Jake went, hmm.[3:44:26]   Pete and Bess, if I won that open verse challenge,[3:44:29]   let me know, I'll accept the pint.[3:44:31]   They said the winner gets a pint.[3:44:33]   I'd love to drink with you guys.[3:44:34]   Embarrassing.[3:44:35]   You know who Matt Rife is?[3:44:36]   I feel like you would be like a housewife now, like a mom.[3:44:40]   Does Jake say something nasty about his rap?[3:44:43]   No?[3:44:44]   That's kind of it though.[3:44:45]   They didn't really celebrate it.[3:44:46]   Jake kind of looks pretty embarrassed[3:44:48]   that brother Logan just did that.[3:44:51]   It's pretty whack, huh, Jake?[3:44:52]   Yeah, me and you recognize that.[3:44:54]   So, okay, let's skip ahead here.[3:44:56]   Go to 106.[3:44:57]   Yeah, 106.[3:44:59]   This is where Jake really gets rude.[3:45:05]   And I know that is like most of his clothes[3:45:08]   say the word rude.[3:45:11]   This is really rude.[3:45:13]   We know he wears rude.[3:45:15]   I didn't know he was actually this rude.[3:45:16]   Wait till you see what he does to Hey Big Dyke,[3:45:19]   Big Mike's sister.[3:45:20]   This is 106.[3:45:22]   Remember I told you Big Mike's sister just had a baby[3:45:26]   and they named it Baby Sloan.[3:45:30]   I'm guessing that Big Mike forced her into that name[3:45:34]   or suggested that name because of Sloan[3:45:38]   from Entourage.[3:45:40]   Guaranteed.[3:45:42]   I could really almost guarantee that that's what happened[3:45:45]   because you're not gonna see Big Mike.[3:45:48]   Well, you'll see.[3:45:50]   Watch Jake Paul.[3:45:52]   Watch what he does to Hey Big Dyke.[3:45:53]   Here they are.[3:45:54]   He's looking at her like,[3:45:55]   what the fuck even is this person?[3:46:01]   I'm so excited for Jake's documentary, by the way.[3:46:05]   Look at this.[3:46:07]   Have you seen the new Beavis and Butthead?[3:46:10]   I loved Escape Room.[3:46:13]   That was bad.[3:46:14]   Beavis and Butthead came back.[3:46:16]   I guess it's been on the air for two years,[3:46:18]   new episodes of Beavis and Butthead.[3:46:19]   Yeah, since last year we just-[3:46:21]   I had no idea we just tuned in.[3:46:22]   The first episode was about some boring escape room.[3:46:25]   Second episode was about fire talking to Beavis.[3:46:29]   They've really lost it.[3:46:30]   Okay, watch this Jake Paul.[3:46:32]   I'm probably gonna be watching the rest.[3:46:33]   He's being ruder than his shorts.[3:46:37]   Because Logan asks me, and I just have to say this,[3:46:43]   Logan asked me if Sloane was going to come with us.[3:46:47]   What was I going to do?[3:46:50]   Leave my eight month old fire pool?[3:46:52]   Eight months.[3:46:53]   Like what?[3:46:54]   Dude, just gotta be self-sufficient.[3:46:56]   Let me ask you this.[3:46:57]   Did she, if she-[3:46:58]   You have a baby.[3:46:59]   If she even cried for a second, we would leave.[3:47:02]   I think-[3:47:04]   Watch Jake.[3:47:05]   I don't know if I can, I don't know.[3:47:06]   You can.[3:47:07]   I think you can, I think you should do it.[3:47:08]   Do you regret naming your baby after a bathroom company?[3:47:12]   That is S-L-O-A-N.[3:47:14]   Oh, you can't say.[3:47:18]   Do you regret naming your baby eight months old,[3:47:23]   your first baby girl?[3:47:25]   Do you regret naming her after a bathroom company,[3:47:31]   Sloane, the urinal brand?[3:47:34]   I mean, I wasn't even thinking that.[3:47:36]   All I'm thinking is Sloane from Entourage.[3:47:38]   Jake Paul uses a lot of urinals, okay?[3:47:42]   Right?[3:47:43]   I mean, this guy's probably used more urinals than anybody.[3:47:46]   I don't use urinals, by the way.[3:47:48]   Actually, it's been a big topic of discussion[3:47:50]   amongst our household this week, how vile urinals are.[3:47:55]   I saw a scene the other day where two guys,[3:47:56]   they're pissing in the urinal, they're talking up a storm.[3:48:01]   It was on time.[3:48:02]   Just peeing on each other's bodies,[3:48:04]   sharing a trough, peeing on each other.[3:48:07]   I mean, have you ever peed as a guy?[3:48:09]   It goes this way, it goes that way, it shoots up,[3:48:11]   it's all over your leg, it's all over the toilet seat.[3:48:16]   And I like how that it's just a rule in the world[3:48:18]   where all you gotta do to clean pee off a toilet seat[3:48:20]   is simply wipe it with a piece of toilet paper[3:48:23]   and throw it in, creating a layer, a lacquer,[3:48:27]   a finish of pee that is dried onto the sea.[3:48:31]   That's completely fine.[3:48:32]   Just a simple wipe with some paper.[3:48:34]   So you're standing in a urinal right next to a guy.[3:48:37]   That pee is shooting.[3:48:38]   I mean, people must be getting covered in pee.[3:48:40]   I'm completely over urinal.[3:48:42]   I'm completely against urinals.[3:48:44]   And if I go in there and there's a guy in the stall,[3:48:47]   I leave the bathroom and I suffer.[3:48:51]   Because I also can't wait for the stall to open up.[3:48:55]   That also is gross.[3:48:57]   Okay, so why did you name your baby after a urinal?[3:49:01]   Let's hear how she gets out of this one.[3:49:01]   Especially when that's something that's so sensitive[3:49:04]   in the Hey Big family.[3:49:06]   What's that?[3:49:07]   Oh, peeing golden showers.[3:49:09]   Exactly.[3:49:10]   Lana Rhodes drank a bucket of pee just to get a few dollars.[3:49:15]   I don't know if I can, I don't know.[3:49:17]   You can.[3:49:17]   I think you can, I think you should do it.[3:49:19]   Do you regret naming your baby after a bathroom company?[3:49:22]   That is S-L-O-A-N.[3:49:25]   Sloane's name is S-L-O-A-N.[3:49:27]   Even Mike knows this isn't right.[3:49:30]   Fuck you, Jake.[3:49:32]   Honestly though, like I have, I was gonna start a,[3:49:35]   so I have a note on my phone that says ideas[3:49:38]   that I'll never do.[3:49:39]   I mean, look at, imagine.[3:49:43]   Did you see her little face there?[3:49:44]   Watch this.[3:49:45]   So I have a note on my phone that says ideas[3:49:48]   that I'll never do.[3:49:49]   Colleen Ballinger.[3:49:51]   Colleen did that same move when she found out Adam[3:49:55]   had told us everything.[3:49:57]   Shout out to Salvo, he probably knows about that.[3:50:00]   So look at, I mean, really,[3:50:02]   that's about the worst thing you could say,[3:50:03]   but she can't really do anything[3:50:05]   because Jake is just so stupidly rude.[3:50:07]   R-H-U-D-E.[3:50:12]   The face of rude.[3:50:13]   $450 bathing suits.[3:50:22]   I'd never seen anything like it.[3:50:23]   Let's see how he gets out of this one.[3:50:24]   And like, it's like companies and things,[3:50:27]   cause I just don't have the time,[3:50:27]   but there's like a list of like 15 things.[3:50:29]   And one of them is naming people's babies for them[3:50:32]   because people are fucking terrible at naming their babies.[3:50:36]   Now she's fucking terrible.[3:50:38]   Look at this.[3:50:40]   I'm gonna start a company where I name people's babies[3:50:43]   for them cause people are fucking terrible.[3:50:45]   Like this chick named her baby after the toilet.[3:50:49]   And she's sitting there like,[3:50:51]   I, I.[3:50:54]   Look at those babies for them[3:50:56]   because people are fucking terrible at naming their babies.[3:50:59]   Logan had his.[3:51:05]   Look at her trying to piece this together in her mind.[3:51:09]   And big Mike's over there is starting to go,[3:51:11]   this isn't cool.[3:51:12]   I mean, that's my niece.[3:51:14]   I mean, that's my, yeah, is that a niece?[3:51:17]   This is my family.[3:51:18]   This is my sister.[3:51:18]   I can tell this is really hurting her right now.[3:51:22]   Eight month old me,[3:51:22]   she never considered the Sloan toilet company[3:51:26]   as either did I.[3:51:29]   This is her first time even considering that.[3:51:31]   And now she's having a little panic about naming her kid.[3:51:36]   And what do people,[3:51:37]   Jake's gonna explain how people piss on the name Sloan[3:51:42]   right to the mom.[3:51:44]   He had a problem with it too.[3:51:46]   But here's the thing that I don't get quick.[3:51:49]   Sloan is one of the hottest.[3:51:50]   I like the name Sloan.[3:51:51]   I like the name Sloan.[3:51:53]   It is.[3:51:54]   But I like the name Sloan.[3:51:55]   You don't and it's okay.[3:51:56]   I love the name Sloan.[3:51:57]   It's okay.[3:51:58]   But like I love it.[3:51:59]   But when you're pissing in the urinal and it says Sloan.[3:52:02]   No, you cannot say that.[3:52:06]   Look at her smile.[3:52:07]   You can't say that.[3:52:08]   When you're pissing in the urinal[3:52:10]   and your fucking baby's name comes up.[3:52:13]   Rude.[3:52:16]   And now she's got to live with this idea[3:52:19]   that her baby is the piss queen.[3:52:20]   So big Mike had to live with the idea[3:52:22]   that his wife Lotta Rhodes was the grandmother of piss.[3:52:26]   And now a Hey Big Dyke has got a piss related trauma[3:52:33]   regarding a loved one.[3:52:34]   This family just can't get away from this.[3:52:36]   This family cannot escape the golden shower.[3:52:39]   But like when you're pissing in the urinal[3:52:42]   and it says Sloan.[3:52:43]   No, but that's a shit take.[3:52:47]   No, because when I pissed in the urinal,[3:52:47]   it says prime on the prime pad.[3:52:49]   No, no, good save.[3:52:51]   So like you can't just like name,[3:52:53]   like, bro, if I want to name my kid Honda.[3:52:54]   This is a person, not a beverage company.[3:52:59]   It's not a funny beverage company promotion.[3:53:01]   Yeah, I'm peeing on a prime urinal cake.[3:53:04]   She doesn't want to be peed on at all.[3:53:09]   It's just like the same as if you're pissing[3:53:11]   on a branded urinal cake.[3:53:12]   Oh, that's so much better.[3:53:14]   I'll just think of it that way.[3:53:17]   It's just like a bunch of men are peeing on you[3:53:20]   at like a branded sponsored event.[3:53:23]   That's better.[3:53:25]   But because there's a lawnmower named that.[3:53:27]   Yeah. You know what I'm saying?[3:53:28]   Like I'm going to not do that.[3:53:30]   Well, okay.[3:53:30]   Honda was a bad example.[3:53:34]   I want to name my baby like Kawasaki.[3:53:36]   I'm not going to be like, oh, there's a motorcycle.[3:53:38]   Oh no, no, no.[3:53:38]   What if I want to name my baby under armor?[3:53:41]   It was a shit example.[3:53:43]   Okay. But Charmin's right.[3:53:45]   If I were to name my kid Charmin.[3:53:47]   Oh, you can't do that.[3:53:48]   You can't.[3:53:49]   No, in fact you cannot.[3:53:51]   No, you can't name your kid after toilet paper Charmin.[3:53:55]   Dude, come on.[3:53:56]   That would be like, if I named my kid Charmin,[3:53:58]   would you really be like the toilet paper?[3:54:00]   Come on. That's immature.[3:54:02]   Yes.[3:54:03]   They would clobber you if you named your kid Charmin.[3:54:07]   I can't believe he's going with this.[3:54:09]   But Charmin's right.[3:54:10]   If I were to name my kid Charmin.[3:54:12]   Oh, you can't do that.[3:54:13]   You wipe your ass with toilet paper.[3:54:14]   It's just something to think about.[3:54:16]   Yeah, that's worse.[3:54:16]   Oh, thank you for letting me think about that.[3:54:20]   Jake says it's just something to think about.[3:54:23]   Look at that.[3:54:24]   Charmin's right.[3:54:25]   Look at him.[3:54:26]   My kid Charmin.[3:54:27]   Oh, you can't do that.[3:54:28]   You wipe your ass with toilet paper.[3:54:28]   It's just something to think about.[3:54:30]   And it's only eight months old.[3:54:31]   Oh, thank you for letting me think about that.[3:54:34]   Okay, what should the name have then?[3:54:36]   Here, watch this.[3:54:37]   Like just something like Indy, like Echo.[3:54:41]   Oh, for the love of Christ.[3:54:43]   Jake.[3:54:44]   Brother Jake.[3:54:45]   A triple.[3:54:46]   A triple.[3:54:46]   And what the fuck.[3:54:48]   He's gonna do a triple sip.[3:54:49]   Look at this.[3:54:50]   So they go, oh yeah, what should the name be Mr. Tough Guy?[3:54:53]   And he goes, I don't know, like something cool, like Echo.[3:54:55]   Something Indy.[3:54:56]   Something Indy.[3:54:58]   And watch, they all laugh at him.[3:54:59]   And now we're gonna see for the first time[3:55:01]   a triple fool's sip.[3:55:05]   Watch Brother Jake.[3:55:07]   Oh no.[3:55:08]   For Christ's sake, what the fuck.[3:55:10]   One.[3:55:12]   ZXC4 seven dash eight.[3:55:14]   It is one of the only things.[3:55:16]   Two.[3:55:17]   That you really can't say to someone after.[3:55:21]   And?[3:55:22]   Right, like.[3:55:22]   Three.[3:55:24]   Three fool's sip to wash down the guilt.[3:55:29]   After being humiliated, after suggesting[3:55:32]   that the name should have been something Indy, like Echo.[3:55:37]   Three fool's sip.[3:55:38]   Seven dash eight.[3:55:39]   It is one of the only things.[3:55:41]   Look at that, one.[3:55:42]   That's two.[3:55:42]   Oh, that's two.[3:55:43]   That you really can't say to someone after the fact.[3:55:47]   Right?[3:55:47]   Three.[3:55:48]   Logan was like, I don't, Mikey.[3:55:51]   Mikey always tells me what he says.[3:55:53]   He's like, oh, let's talk about stirring the fucking pot.[3:55:56]   Here you are, you're like,[3:55:57]   Logan doesn't like your baby's name.[3:55:59]   But Abby, Abby, I was still,[3:56:01]   I was in brainstorming phase.[3:56:03]   I was brainstorming feedback.[3:56:04]   I already had her.[3:56:05]   I already had her.[3:56:06]   Whoa.[3:56:07]   So this is-[3:56:08]   Even Logan said that he didn't like the name either.[3:56:11]   And she's kind of lashed it out.[3:56:13]   Now she's like, I already had her, Logan.[3:56:15]   You understand what that means?[3:56:17]   It means, shut the fuck up.[3:56:20]   You know, it's like, I always say this,[3:56:21]   like your friend gets a new car,[3:56:23]   but it's not a car that you like.[3:56:24]   You don't start saying, oh dude, why'd you get this?[3:56:27]   This one's so much better.[3:56:28]   This car sucks.[3:56:29]   He's stuck with the car.[3:56:32]   Be polite.[3:56:33]   Here you are, you're like,[3:56:34]   Logan doesn't like your baby's name.[3:56:36]   But Abby, Abby, I was still-[3:56:39]   I was in brainstorming phase.[3:56:40]   I was brainstorming feedback.[3:56:41]   I already had her.[3:56:42]   I already had her.[3:56:43]   What's her name?[3:56:44]   I love her.[3:56:45]   I love her name.[3:56:46]   I love it.[3:56:47]   I do too.[3:56:48]   I don't, don't even do that.[3:56:51]   How is she not crying?[3:56:53]   This must be a business woman like Joan from Streamberry.[3:56:58]   To be able to sit through that without a cry,[3:57:01]   I thought for sure she was going to start crying, right?[3:57:04]   Isn't that where a girl usually starts crying?[3:57:06]   That was a crying-ish tone.[3:57:08]   I mean, she's about to cry.[3:57:12]   I love it.[3:57:12]   I do too, I do too.[3:57:13]   I don't, don't even do that.[3:57:17]   I'll tell you what I don't like.[3:57:18]   Your attitude.[3:57:20]   I don't like my attitude.[3:57:22]   That's what I don't like.[3:57:23]   I think it's a cool name.[3:57:24]   I just worry about-[3:57:25]   No, no, now you're back battling too.[3:57:27]   No, no, no, no, no.[3:57:28]   He just was curious if he was named after a bathroom.[3:57:31]   That's horrible.[3:57:31]   You can't say that.[3:57:33]   The paws have no tact.[3:57:34]   No, I didn't.[3:57:35]   Okay, okay.[3:57:37]   Just look at them finally licking each other's eyes.[3:57:40]   Jake and Hey Big?[3:57:41]   Yeah.[3:57:42]   Okay, so they're finally going to lock eyes[3:57:43]   after really avoiding each other for quite some time.[3:57:46]   They're just not a organic mix.[3:57:49]   How have you thought about that?[3:57:52]   How did you not thought about that?[3:57:53]   She decides to look and imagine.[3:57:56]   I mean, imagine you look and this is the guy[3:57:59]   who just said that to you with the shaved eyebrows.[3:58:03]   This street punk from a video game in the nineties.[3:58:07]   2077.[3:58:08]   I mean, this is really like a bebop rock steady type guy.[3:58:12]   Same build, same hair, and you just got to take it.[3:58:17]   And you can't say anything[3:58:18]   or you'll be buried in Puerto Rico.[3:58:22]   No, I didn't.[3:58:23]   Okay, okay, okay.[3:58:24]   I really would consider naming my child Thomas, bro.[3:58:28]   No, no, no, no, no, no, no.[3:58:29]   Listen to this one.[3:58:30]   This is another bad one.[3:58:31]   Oh my God, like he's an English muffin.[3:58:34]   You know what I'm saying?[3:58:35]   Like what the fuck are you talking about?[3:58:36]   And then you're like, oh dude,[3:58:37]   like name him after a sound effect[3:58:39]   that is existing in a hallway.[3:58:41]   Echo, echo.[3:58:42]   Hey, come here, kid, kid, kid, kid, kid.[3:58:45]   Like what the fuck?[3:58:46]   That's Logan's type of comedy there.[3:58:50]   Laughing like a kid.[3:58:52]   All right, that was that.[3:58:53]   Jake getting beat down for being right again.[3:58:54]   Very nice.[3:58:55]   Thank you, brother Jake.[3:58:57]   Brother Jake's doing very well.[3:58:58]   He's dating a girl named Yuta.[3:59:01]   She's a speed skater from Russia.[3:59:02]   And they're in heaven together.[3:59:04]   They're so in love.[3:59:05]   He loves her.[3:59:06]   And he wrote her name down 100 times[3:59:08]   to prove his love for her.[3:59:10]   I love brother Jake.[3:59:11]   Brother Jake's on good terms with us right now.[3:59:14]   Brother Jake, he did ayahuasca.[3:59:16]   He's cleaned his life up, that brother Jake.[3:59:19]   All right, would you like?[3:59:20]   We've got an exclusive pic.[3:59:21]   Oh, you do?[3:59:23]   That I've been wanting to show you[3:59:24]   from the backstage of the Vulcan Gas Company.[3:59:28]   Oh my God.[3:59:29]   Okay, today is a special day, everybody.[3:59:32]   And let's see if I can-[3:59:33]   It's from Kumiya's Twitter.[3:59:35]   So don't get too excited.[3:59:36]   I know, but today is a special day.[3:59:38]   Let me take you somewhere.[3:59:39]   Let me just get to my search.[3:59:41]   Come on.[3:59:42]   Oh, I'm not logged in here.[3:59:45]   Uh-oh.[3:59:46]   I sent you a message.[3:59:47]   That's okay.[3:59:48]   I know I just wanted to show everybody what this is about.[3:59:52]   The end racism tour is tonight.[3:59:56]   What time is it right now?[3:59:57]   It's like happening now in Austin, Texas, okay?[4:00:01]   Anthony Kumiya, Gavin McInnis, Josh Denny.[4:00:06]   The dream team.[4:00:07]   The end racism tour.[4:00:12]   And you know, Josh has had a lot of these events canceled[4:00:15]   because it's Gavin, right?[4:00:16]   The leader of the proud boys.[4:00:19]   You know, enemy number one of America.[4:00:23]   You know, almost a terrorist.[4:00:24]   He comes from Canada.[4:00:26]   He starts a domestic hate group.[4:00:30]   You know, he's been banned from everywhere[4:00:32]   for being the leader of a hate group.[4:00:34]   I don't know how he got out of this, by the way.[4:00:36]   I really don't know how he got out of this.[4:00:38]   Mike, of course, he stepped down.[4:00:39]   He didn't.[4:00:40]   It was a fake stepping down to please a DA.[4:00:45]   If you're involved with the DA, you're a bad guy.[4:00:49]   So that should be all there is to it.[4:00:52]   But they've been doing these shows, the end racism tour.[4:00:56]   Now this is all by Josh Denny's own.[4:00:58]   That's why I want to get,[4:00:59]   can you send me a link to Josh Denny's little flyer[4:01:02]   for from his Twitter?[4:01:04]   Just a link to his page.[4:01:05]   Maybe it'll let me open it[4:01:06]   without being logged in there on Twitter.[4:01:08]   Josh Denny got involved with our greatest two enemies,[4:01:12]   Anthony Kumiya and Gavin McInnis.[4:01:14]   I know the story is so wild.[4:01:16]   Three of our top fools join forces together.[4:01:23]   And you know, Denny makes no money.[4:01:25]   Denny's got this unwatched series[4:01:30]   on Gavin McInnis' censored.tv platform,[4:01:34]   which they're censoring all over YouTube, by the way.[4:01:36]   All the previews for their content are completely censored.[4:01:39]   They're bleeping out swears left and right[4:01:42]   on censored.tv promos, which is censorship.[4:01:49]   So Josh teams up with these guys[4:01:52]   and pitches them this idea of a world tour.[4:01:58]   Okay, now Gavin and Kumiya,[4:02:00]   they don't got the fucking patience[4:02:01]   to do any sort of tour, okay?[4:02:03]   But Josh promises them that he, Josh Denny,[4:02:07]   will take care of everything.[4:02:10]   All you guys got to do is show up.[4:02:12]   So they go, okay, well, if we don't have to do anything,[4:02:17]   then we'll do it.[4:02:19]   And then the deal is,[4:02:20]   Josh gets to open for Gavin and Kumiya and have this tour.[4:02:25]   And then Josh gets to pretend that he's out doing standup.[4:02:29]   It's perfect.[4:02:30]   It's a perfect Josh Denny scheme.[4:02:32]   It should be the first and next up.[4:02:34]   Here it is.[4:02:35]   Let's see if it lets me open it.[4:02:36]   Yep.[4:02:38]   Tonight, get tickets.[4:02:40]   The link below, here it is.[4:02:41]   This is what I wanted to show you.[4:02:43]   The end racism tour, here it is.[4:02:45]   And they've been doing these and they had some success.[4:02:47]   They get a couple hundred people to come out.[4:02:50]   So imagine that you got,[4:02:51]   it takes Gavin, Kumiya, and Denny[4:02:54]   to get about 80 to a hundred people in a room.[4:02:58]   And they had a lot of problems with this tour.[4:03:00]   A lot of problems with it getting canceled.[4:03:02]   So what they used to do is they used to pick a city,[4:03:05]   announce a venue, sell tickets,[4:03:08]   and then what would happen?[4:03:10]   Old Antifa.[4:03:13]   Those anti-American Antifa[4:03:16]   that we always are running into, right?[4:03:18]   I'm always seeing Antifa everywhere.[4:03:21]   Apparently they've been canceling the shows[4:03:24]   by calling the venues, right?[4:03:26]   And telling them, oh no, you can't have this.[4:03:28]   This is the leader of the Proud Boys, Gavin McInnis.[4:03:31]   It's going to be a bunch of Proud Boys.[4:03:34]   It's not a comedy event.[4:03:36]   It's a hate event.[4:03:38]   And then the shows would get canceled.[4:03:40]   So what Josh has been doing,[4:03:41]   we used to do this when we went on tour,[4:03:43]   we would announce the venue to the ticket buyers[4:03:48]   the day of the show, right?[4:03:50]   Okay, so you sell the tickets.[4:03:52]   You say, hey, it's in downtown Austin.[4:03:55]   And if you're a ticket holder, you'll get an email[4:03:59]   the day of the show,[4:04:00]   and it'll tell you where the venue is in the address, okay?[4:04:02]   And it works out great.[4:04:04]   But Josh got a little excited this time[4:04:06]   because it's in Austin.[4:04:08]   He decided to announce the venue yesterday.[4:04:14]   Tomorrow night, we end racism once and for all.[4:04:18]   We'll be at Vulcan Gas Company at 7 p.m.[4:04:23]   The old Kill Tony stage,[4:04:26]   right before the mothership was built.[4:04:28]   Of course, Joe Rogan and Kill Tony and all them[4:04:31]   used the Vulcan Gas Company.[4:04:33]   That's where Kill Tony was last shot at.[4:04:38]   And so did Kumiya hook up Gavin with this?[4:04:43]   Did Anthony, Paul, Joe go, yeah, we're coming to Austin.[4:04:47]   Got any venues we could perform at?[4:04:49]   Hoping he goes, oh, you could use the mothership.[4:04:51]   You were my inspiration for the podcast, of course.[4:04:54]   Do it at the mothership.[4:04:56]   But I don't know if Joe's gonna do that.[4:04:58]   Because Kumiya also posted a tweet[4:05:00]   that was just a picture out front of the mothership.[4:05:03]   And he was like, what's this place?[4:05:05]   Which seems kind of like a passive aggressive Kumiya.[4:05:09]   Really?[4:05:10]   I mean, what do you think?[4:05:11]   I think he's just really excited to be at Austin[4:05:14]   and seeing Joe's comedy.[4:05:15]   But don't you think Kumiya is like a bitchy side[4:05:17]   where he's like happy to be seeing Joe's fun?[4:05:19]   No, I think at this point, well, I don't know.[4:05:23]   I think at this point, he's so, so, so thankful[4:05:27]   that Joe hasn't found out about who he has turned into.[4:05:31]   And that Joe still thinks this is the old Anthony Kumiya[4:05:34]   from Hopi and Anthony.[4:05:35]   So I think he's just really happy and excited[4:05:39]   to be a name that even comes out of Joe's mouth,[4:05:43]   a name that Joe even remembers at this point,[4:05:46]   and to be the one person in comedy[4:05:49]   that doesn't know about his crimes[4:05:51]   that have taken place over the last 10 years.[4:05:54]   Joe Rogan stupidly is the only person[4:05:57]   in the entire comedy business[4:05:59]   that doesn't know about Anthony Kumiya's[4:06:01]   biting his incredibly disgusting racist rants on Twitter.[4:06:07]   And his crimes against children,[4:06:12]   the alleged children that he's involved with sexually.[4:06:16]   You know, we caught him following three different[4:06:18]   13, 12 year old girls on Instagram.[4:06:21]   These weren't accidental follows like he claims.[4:06:24]   We fully believe that he has pedophilic values[4:06:28]   at the very least.[4:06:31]   So do many people.[4:06:31]   Pedophilic values, which means he will stick[4:06:35]   by those values.[4:06:36]   And Denny stands for those values.[4:06:37]   And Denny stands for those values.[4:06:39]   Of course, the whole compound media team[4:06:41]   is a pedophile busting community,[4:06:45]   yet they never bust Anthony Kumiya.[4:06:47]   So simultaneously a pedophile busting.[4:06:49]   So I think, yeah, I think, no,[4:06:50]   Kumiya is just so happy that he's relevant with Rogan.[4:06:55]   Can't believe that, and he's probably very nervous[4:06:59]   thinking today's gotta be the day[4:07:00]   where they're gonna send Rogan my best of.[4:07:03]   They're gonna send Rogan.[4:07:04]   Rogan's gonna find out.[4:07:05]   Someone's gonna tell Rogan.[4:07:07]   But Rogan is so stupidly oblivious.[4:07:09]   I think he's seen it and doesn't care.[4:07:10]   And he wouldn't care unless he started getting[4:07:12]   in trouble about it.[4:07:13]   Isn't that something?[4:07:14]   How could you not care?[4:07:15]   As a father, how could you not care that a guy[4:07:19]   is sexually involved with kids[4:07:22]   the same age as your daughter?[4:07:23]   The only thing, the only way you could explain that[4:07:27]   is that Joe is also a pedophile.[4:07:30]   And does stuff to his daughter's swangers.[4:07:35]   Just a thought.[4:07:35]   The black daughter.[4:07:36]   Everybody's fucked the black daughter.[4:07:39]   I think Joe Rogan has fucked his black stepdaughter.[4:07:44]   That should be something that,[4:07:46]   you know who that would be a good joke for?[4:07:47]   That we could sell to Brian Holtzman.[4:07:50]   Imagine that he gets on stage and becomes,[4:07:52]   Joe Rogan has a black daughter![4:07:55]   Did he fuck her?[4:07:57]   Did he fuck her?[4:08:00]   He would kill.[4:08:01]   That would kill.[4:08:01]   If you have any balls, Brian Holtzman.[4:08:04]   You say that joke.[4:08:06]   It's yours.[4:08:07]   It's on me.[4:08:08]   So, okay.[4:08:09]   He announces this yesterday.[4:08:11]   Is the show happening right now?[4:08:13]   Let's see, we've got an update from C. Kumiya himself[4:08:16]   or A. Kumiya, of course.[4:08:18]   Let's see, we've got a green room photo.[4:08:20]   Whoa, oh, oh, oh.[4:08:23]   Let's take a look.[4:08:24]   The first photos, any other photos?[4:08:26]   Hey, keep us up to date.[4:08:27]   I've got one more.[4:08:28]   Yeah, how about if you guys see any updates from the show,[4:08:31]   cause we'll probably be live[4:08:32]   while they're doing this whole thing.[4:08:34]   If you got any videos or pics or any content from the show,[4:08:37]   let us know.[4:08:37]   There's usually an issue with these shows.[4:08:39]   Oh, God knows I've been praying all week for an issue.[4:08:44]   You know, I'm a nice guy.[4:08:46]   On top of that, I have a set of beliefs and morals.[4:08:50]   I do not intervene.[4:08:51]   I do not go out of my way to cancel things.[4:08:55]   I don't go out of my way to intervene in any way[4:08:58]   that messes with the fool's timeline.[4:09:02]   But boy, I sure pray.[4:09:05]   I sure pray.[4:09:06]   Nothing wrong with sitting there all day,[4:09:09]   pushing to the sky.[4:09:11]   And I said to Jules, I go,[4:09:12]   lock hands, let's hope for something bad.[4:09:16]   I go, my first hope?[4:09:18]   I go, well, I just want something really bad[4:09:20]   to go to happen at the show.[4:09:23]   Really, really bad.[4:09:24]   So it could be anything like, yes, of course,[4:09:26]   I hope it gets canceled and they're all fucked[4:09:29]   and they have nowhere to do the show, sure.[4:09:30]   But more than that, I would like for there to be[4:09:34]   some sort of incident at the show,[4:09:36]   a violent incident with all the Proud Boys.[4:09:40]   And then the whole city finds out[4:09:41]   and they're all in the streets[4:09:42]   and a big war is in the streets.[4:09:44]   And it's a huge disaster.[4:09:46]   Just turn to a Proud Boy kind of battle of Berkeley.[4:09:49]   Battle of Berkeley style event[4:09:51]   where they're all throwing paint at each other.[4:09:54]   Drinking paint till they die.[4:09:56]   But I'll take canceled too.[4:09:58]   But I obviously didn't get canceled.[4:10:00]   Josh announced it.[4:10:01]   But you know what I'll also take?[4:10:03]   Josh on stage having a blast[4:10:05]   with that huge smile on his face,[4:10:08]   reciting his shitty jokes.[4:10:10]   I guess that's the last thing I would want though, of course.[4:10:14]   So here they are, green room hangout.[4:10:17]   And here they are, here's Josh Denny himself.[4:10:20]   He's on top of the world.[4:10:22]   He's excited.[4:10:23]   Now there's always like a mini fight[4:10:24]   between these guys at the show.[4:10:26]   Like the last show there was a big fight.[4:10:28]   So they all start hating Josh a little bit more[4:10:31]   as these shows continue.[4:10:33]   Because it's always something with Josh.[4:10:35]   He's always got some kind of change of plans[4:10:39]   or a different way of it going[4:10:41]   that he's sold to the guys.[4:10:42]   And here's Gavin, uh oh, the leader.[4:10:46]   The leader.[4:10:46]   You know, he's the reason anybody even shows up.[4:10:49]   You know, don't get it twisted.[4:10:51]   Josh knows this, of course.[4:10:53]   But for you guys, don't get it twisted.[4:10:54]   Josh isn't drawing any sort of crowd.[4:10:56]   It's only Gavin, Kumi is only drawing.[4:10:59]   Remember Kumiya can't draw a crowd.[4:11:02]   We've watched these Kumiya events[4:11:03]   where three people have showed up.[4:11:05]   Remember Kumiya's book signing?[4:11:07]   Where no one showed up, a legit.[4:11:10]   He had about 15 Sharpies ready to go.[4:11:13]   No one came.[4:11:15]   He signed no books.[4:11:16]   We watched the whole thing live as it went down.[4:11:18]   Remember that?[4:11:20]   So Kumiya is not a draw.[4:11:21]   So this is basically a Gavin event[4:11:24]   that Kumiya and Josh used to play pretend[4:11:27]   to pretend that they're something's going on.[4:11:29]   So here he is.[4:11:30]   Nothing to me, this is what I mean.[4:11:31]   Nothing is better than zooming in on Josh's smile[4:11:35]   as if he's like Kendall Roy sitting at Logan's desk.[4:11:39]   He finally got the job.[4:11:40]   Like he's like, look at this guys, I'm president.[4:11:43]   And he's got this huge smile[4:11:44]   and then you zoom out and it's just Gavin.[4:11:45]   Yeah.[4:11:46]   Yep.[4:11:47]   And on anyone else.[4:11:49]   Look at this.[4:11:50]   Yeah.[4:11:51]   On anyone else, I would assume these are of course,[4:11:54]   spy glasses because of the thick,[4:11:56]   like this is where the battery would be hidden[4:11:59]   and the lens.[4:12:01]   But no, these are Josh's real glasses.[4:12:04]   What is this here?[4:12:05]   I thought we're looking at.[4:12:07]   Is that a glob?[4:12:08]   His armpit has lights.[4:12:09]   The armpit expand.[4:12:10]   Isn't that some, most people's armpits go in.[4:12:12]   His is like an out armpit.[4:12:16]   You see that there?[4:12:18]   It goes out.[4:12:20]   Him and Netta are not doing well.[4:12:22]   Josh's living girlfriend for 13 years.[4:12:24]   Did you see this?[4:12:25]   Yeah, let's watch this clip.[4:12:27]   We've been noticing.[4:12:28]   And have you been noticing?[4:12:30]   Let's see this right now.[4:12:31]   Hold on, let me check our website.[4:12:34]   Okay.[4:12:35]   Yeah, this is live now.[4:12:36]   So I always say this on the show.[4:12:40]   I think I got this idea from Patrick Melton[4:12:42]   that I'm about to show you.[4:12:44]   I always say this on the show.[4:12:46]   I go, every one of Josh Denny's tweets could be,[4:12:49]   you could do a whole show around his tweets every day.[4:12:53]   Every one of his tweets,[4:12:54]   when you see someone posted in the bring back group,[4:12:55]   I go, I know, there's not much to say.[4:12:58]   You go, every one of his tweets could be posted.[4:13:00]   So we thought, let's make this easy.[4:13:02]   Instead of us having to post his tweets every day.[4:13:05]   Now, when you go to redbarradio.net,[4:13:10]   yes, here's the homepage here.[4:13:13]   And of course, now right here,[4:13:16]   and it really fills out our site nice.[4:13:17]   Now we have Josh Denny's tweets,[4:13:20]   his Twitter feed embedded on the website.[4:13:25]   So every day when you're checking out red bar,[4:13:27]   you could also read Josh's latest arguments[4:13:31]   or what he's going through and they're good.[4:13:35]   Every one of them is good.[4:13:36]   I mean, every day, really, it's the first thing I do.[4:13:38]   And he's been getting real mad a lot lately.[4:13:40]   Like last week, he was fully arguing with people.[4:13:42]   Like every two minutes on Twitter,[4:13:44]   posting all of these horrible lies about us,[4:13:47]   arguing with Xander.[4:13:49]   Oh yeah.[4:13:50]   Which by the way, did you guys know[4:13:51]   that there's a track on Patrick Melton's new comedy album[4:13:56]   called Xander?[4:13:57]   Isn't that spooky?[4:13:59]   He's got his own friend, Xander.[4:14:01]   Makes sense, it adds up.[4:14:03]   So there it is now living on the red bar homepage.[4:14:06]   You don't have to go anywhere.[4:14:08]   And I believe you could see these even if you're,[4:14:10]   well, I don't know, if you're not seeing these,[4:14:12]   that means he's blocked you.[4:14:13]   You should log out of Twitter[4:14:15]   to be able to view them on our site.[4:14:17]   But then you could really keep up with Denny full time.[4:14:20]   And you know what?[4:14:21]   If you've been following Denny, like I have,[4:14:22]   again, this is the first thing I do in the morning.[4:14:24]   I wake up, I'm like in such a bad mood.[4:14:27]   I'm so mad.[4:14:29]   And I'll show you here what I've done.[4:14:32]   I've got an app for this right here.[4:14:39]   Hold on, let me see, I'll actually.[4:14:41]   Okay, you can cut to the closeup of my phone here.[4:14:46]   Can you see that there?[4:14:48]   I've got a shortcut that's called Denny right there.[4:14:54]   And I don't have many apps.[4:14:55]   I'm a man of few apps,[4:14:57]   but I have a Denny shortcut home button there.[4:15:02]   And really the first thing I do when I wake up,[4:15:04]   and I'm in an incredibly bad mood when I wake up,[4:15:08]   I don't do anything.[4:15:09]   I mean, I wait, you know how they say[4:15:11]   wait an hour or something before looking at your cell phone[4:15:13]   first thing when you get up.[4:15:15]   No mention of don't look at Denny.[4:15:18]   I agree, don't look at the rest of your cell phone.[4:15:20]   Don't stress yourself out,[4:15:23]   especially when you've had that first coffee.[4:15:25]   Let the anxiety go away a little bit first[4:15:29]   before checking your emails or your bank account, okay?[4:15:33]   Or all the trouble places.[4:15:35]   The one place you'll always feel better about yourself[4:15:38]   in the morning, the Denny app.[4:15:41]   Believe me, there isn't a scientist in the world[4:15:44]   that'll tell you not to go on this[4:15:46]   right before a better right when waking up.[4:15:48]   This is an approved way to use your phone[4:15:51]   and slowly build into the day without getting overwhelmed.[4:15:56]   And when you see Denny,[4:15:58]   what he's going through right in the morning,[4:16:00]   you go, this is gonna be, it's gonna be better than that.[4:16:03]   It's gonna be better than that.[4:16:04]   So I check that first thing every day.[4:16:07]   And if you're like me[4:16:07]   and you're checking his Twitter every day,[4:16:10]   you've seen that it almost sounds like[4:16:13]   there's some trouble in paradise[4:16:16]   between him and Big Netta,[4:16:18]   his living girlfriend that he's been lying to conservatives[4:16:21]   saying is his wife, by the way.[4:16:23]   He calls her his wife.[4:16:24]   They're not married.[4:16:26]   They live in the same apartment[4:16:28]   that Josh inherited from Patrick Melton[4:16:32]   after Melton moved out of Los Angeles, California[4:16:36]   12 years ago.[4:16:38]   It is a $750 starter unit.[4:16:44]   His office is right next to the kitchenette.[4:16:47]   Yeah, you guys know this place[4:16:49]   and he has never moved from it.[4:16:51]   It's in Burbank, California.[4:16:53]   You could rent six or seven of these.[4:16:54]   It's a joke.[4:16:56]   He's living in one of these, okay?[4:16:58]   This is a unit that you wouldn't rent as a joke.[4:17:01]   It's too shitty.[4:17:03]   It's too crummy.[4:17:04]   We've all seen it.[4:17:05]   His floor, the way the floorboards meet the floor looks[4:17:09]   like the back room.[4:17:12]   Carpeted floors, same carpet that Melton had.[4:17:16]   There's a buzzing, there's a hum.[4:17:18]   The walls are yellowish beige.[4:17:21]   It's a disgusting place to live.[4:17:23]   But he always brags as if him and Netta[4:17:25]   have this beautiful thing going on[4:17:27]   that no other man has.[4:17:29]   And it really, he uses this as an excuse.[4:17:31]   Anytime somebody calls him an incel or says,[4:17:34]   you know, it sounds like you hate women.[4:17:36]   He goes, huh![4:17:38]   Well, I'd been with the same woman for 13 years![4:17:41]   Well, if you've been following him like me,[4:17:43]   you've noticed that he's been real nasty[4:17:45]   referring to Netta, real nasty referring to[4:17:49]   round the house men versus women stuff.[4:17:52]   It sounds like he's starting to getting some sort of rift[4:17:58]   with this Netta.[4:17:59]   And I hope we can maybe speed this process up.[4:18:01]   I hope that we're right.[4:18:03]   You know, I know Netta lost a lot of weight.[4:18:04]   Maybe she's ready to get back[4:18:06]   on the Sebastian Maniscalco train.[4:18:08]   She knows.[4:18:10]   Denny and Netta, this segment is called[4:18:13]   Denny and Netta Fighting Like Crazy.[4:18:16]   Tell everyone.[4:18:19]   Here's a tape of him discussing their terrible fights.[4:18:22]   I think they hate each other.[4:18:24]   Let's see this.[4:18:25]   We get very little footage of Denny.[4:18:28]   He doesn't do much, but we do get clips[4:18:31]   from this sensor.tv show that he does with Big Spit.[4:18:35]   More on him later.[4:18:36]   More on Big Spit later.[4:18:39]   Now, what is this show called?[4:18:41]   The Big Uglies?[4:18:43]   The BBTTS Sports Show?[4:18:45]   The Big Ass Sports Show?[4:18:47]   Some of that nature.[4:18:48]   He does a sports show where it's like him[4:18:53]   and two other guys wearing hockey jerseys,[4:18:55]   sitting around and doing outdated sports comedy.[4:18:59]   It's really pitiful.[4:19:00]   I can't imagine anybody actually watching this.[4:19:03]   And the only time we ever get to see it[4:19:05]   is when we see a clip that he's posted[4:19:08]   on his YouTuber's Twitter.[4:19:09]   And that's what we're watching now.[4:19:10]   Because you can't sign up for sensor.tv[4:19:12]   or you'll be on a list.[4:19:13]   That's a site I won't sign up for, sensor.tv.[4:19:16]   I feel like that is a place too far.[4:19:18]   And we urge our fans, stay away[4:19:19]   from those areas of the internet.[4:19:21]   Those are dangerous areas.[4:19:24]   So let's check out this latest clip.[4:19:27]   Sounds like Denny and Netta are not getting along.[4:19:31]   It's funny.[4:19:32]   I want something sweet.[4:19:33]   That's Big Spit.[4:19:33]   I want pasta.[4:19:35]   Yeah.[4:19:35]   And then I have to-[4:19:36]   I refuse to eat gluten and I want pasta[4:19:38]   and it's 11 o'clock at night.[4:19:39]   Figure it out.[4:19:41]   That's what they do.[4:19:42]   And it's a miracle that more of them[4:19:44]   aren't murdered every day.[4:19:46]   They talk about this high murder rate of women[4:19:49]   and I just don't see it.[4:19:50]   Yeah, it feels low, to be honest.[4:19:56]   If I'm being honest, it feels very low.[4:19:58]   It feels low.[4:19:59]   It is not as high as one would hope.[4:20:03]   As one would expect.[4:20:05]   I don't know if I would say one would hope,[4:20:07]   but I got to tell you,[4:20:08]   I think if it were a little bit higher-[4:20:12]   Look at those, I mean,[4:20:13]   I just can't get over the little potato head.[4:20:17]   Accessories glued to his face.[4:20:20]   I mean, look at that.[4:20:21]   Look at those tiny, tiny glasses.[4:20:24]   The same glasses he's had since we met him.[4:20:27]   They haven't changed.[4:20:30]   That's really bizarre looking with the high hat[4:20:33]   and the tiny glasses and the big headphones[4:20:35]   and the giant bottom face.[4:20:39]   That's a big bottom of a face.[4:20:41]   And what right do you have to wear a Chicago hot dog hat?[4:20:45]   You don't know about Chicago hot dogs.[4:20:47]   They're my addiction.[4:20:50]   I could eat about a hundred of these things.[4:20:52]   All right, let's hear what he says about his wife, Netta.[4:20:55]   The rate in which women would act right[4:20:59]   would probably be higher.[4:21:02]   For sure.[4:21:03]   Yeah.[4:21:05]   They aren't sure how they should act[4:21:08]   in certain situations like that[4:21:11]   because they are domesticated.[4:21:13]   They do want somebody to be-[4:21:15]   They're independent women,[4:21:16]   but you can't tell them what to do.[4:21:18]   But also they need somebody to do all of that for them.[4:21:22]   Like you said, it's 11.[4:21:23]   Remember, if you don't know the situation,[4:21:25]   Josh makes little to no money.[4:21:29]   The only way we see this happening,[4:21:30]   because he doesn't get views, he doesn't sell anything.[4:21:33]   He has nothing to sell.[4:21:35]   I can't imagine him getting paid more than $125 an episode[4:21:39]   for that thing he's submitting to sensor.tv from Gavin.[4:21:43]   I mean, even if he was getting paid[4:21:44]   the most Gavin would pay, wouldn't pay his bills.[4:21:48]   So we're led to believe that Netta,[4:21:52]   the big fat show, Iranian Netta,[4:21:55]   his girlfriend is probably paying the bills.[4:21:58]   She has to be.[4:21:59]   She's a hustler, she's a schemer,[4:22:00]   she's always out there selling.[4:22:02]   They're always selling stuff.[4:22:04]   At any given time of day,[4:22:05]   the two of them got 60 to a hundred items on eBay[4:22:09]   that they're doing.[4:22:10]   Limited items from the house.[4:22:14]   I mean, every time he's sitting there recording jenkum[4:22:17]   on his little desk computer, she's out there making sales.[4:22:20]   She's out making the money.[4:22:21]   I guarantee she's paying the rent.[4:22:24]   He convinced her a long time ago,[4:22:25]   this comedy stuff takes time.[4:22:28]   And then he's gonna sit here and talk about her like this?[4:22:31]   And wait till he's well, listen to what he says about Netta,[4:22:34]   the person paying his bills for sure.[4:22:38]   And they're going, figure it out.[4:22:40]   You're going, what do you do?[4:22:43]   It really makes you go, what do you do?[4:22:45]   Yeah, that's if you ask me like,[4:22:48]   hey man, what do you guys fight over the most?[4:22:50]   It's literally like meals.[4:22:52]   No, if I had a dollar for every time I go,[4:22:56]   I'm not your fucking assistant.[4:22:59]   Every week, I would have a lot of dollars.[4:23:03]   Oh my God.[4:23:06]   She's doing all the work and making all the money[4:23:08]   for the family.[4:23:08]   And she's like, Josh, can you please come after a hard day[4:23:11]   of manipulation at events?[4:23:13]   But she has to, he purses her.[4:23:16]   And what did he say?[4:23:19]   If I had a dollar for every time she needs a fee.[4:23:21]   I'm not your fucking assistant.[4:23:22]   I'm not your fucking, listen to this.[4:23:24]   You go, what do you do?[4:23:25]   Yeah, that's if you ask me like,[4:23:28]   hey man, what do you guys fight over the most?[4:23:30]   It's literally like meals.[4:23:32]   No, if I had a dollar for every time I go,[4:23:36]   I'm not your fucking assistant.[4:23:39]   Why would you have to say that?[4:23:40]   Every week, I would have a lot of dollars.[4:23:43]   So this changes everything.[4:23:45]   We're thinking that Josh is like,[4:23:47]   she's paying all the bills and Josh is like treating her[4:23:50]   nice and he's grateful for the money.[4:23:54]   And she's allowing him to do his bullshit[4:23:56]   without making a dime.[4:23:59]   But no, Josh is acting like a traditional husband[4:24:02]   in this relationship as if he's the breadwinner.[4:24:06]   He's screaming at her, I'm not your assistant.[4:24:09]   And he said it, he used that whole system of,[4:24:13]   if I had a dollar for every time I've had to do,[4:24:17]   that's no way to treat your wife, I'm not your assistant.[4:24:19]   Jules asked me something,[4:24:20]   you are her assistant by the way.[4:24:24]   And he's the one who wants to say,[4:24:25]   oh, it's my wife, it's my wife.[4:24:27]   Yeah.[4:24:28]   And he'll treat her like this.[4:24:29]   Listen to this.[4:24:30]   I had a dollar for every time I go,[4:24:32]   I'm not your fucking assistant.[4:24:34]   Every week, I would have a lot of dollars.[4:24:40]   Maybe Elon Musk would be looking at my backside.[4:24:43]   You know what I mean?[4:24:45]   Like, cause she'll literally walk in the house like,[4:24:48]   hey, can you?[4:24:49]   He can't help her because he's tweeting.[4:24:51]   Yes, he's shitting at his tweet deck.[4:24:55]   He's on tweet deck, the third party app[4:24:59]   so that he could have 800 columns open[4:25:02]   to track all his success on Twitter.[4:25:04]   He didn't know about how Netta's fat by the way,[4:25:06]   just so he can try to own us.[4:25:08]   What's that?[4:25:10]   I remember a couple of weeks ago,[4:25:10]   someone was, what did he say again?[4:25:12]   And then he was, wanted to make fun of me.[4:25:14]   He was like, Mike's wife has no tits,[4:25:17]   even Netta at her fattest.[4:25:20]   Yes, Netta at her fattest.[4:25:22]   Oh, that's nice.[4:25:24]   I mean, we're starting to find out.[4:25:27]   And if you see this series of tweets,[4:25:28]   he's been posting alongside of this.[4:25:30]   It sounds like Netta's in an abusive relationship.[4:25:34]   We have to help her.[4:25:35]   We have to save Netta.[4:25:37]   I go, how about a hello?[4:25:39]   You fucking ungrateful bitch.[4:25:43]   Do you see what he's doing here?[4:25:44]   Wait, wait, wait.[4:25:46]   He's doing Gavin.[4:25:49]   He's pretending he's Gavin now.[4:25:52]   See, Gavin could kind of pull off this type of thing.[4:25:55]   It's part of his character.[4:25:55]   We've never heard Josh do this.[4:25:57]   Listen to this.[4:25:58]   Assistant, every week I would have a lot of dollars.[4:26:04]   I would, maybe Elon Musk would be looking at my backside.[4:26:09]   You know what I mean?[4:26:10]   Like, cause she'll literally walk in the house and be like,[4:26:13]   hey, can you, I go, how about a hello?[4:26:16]   You fucking ungrateful bitch.[4:26:19]   Is this true, Netta?[4:26:21]   Does he do this?[4:26:22]   You can tell us.[4:26:23]   Or is he putting on a show here,[4:26:24]   which is almost worse than if he was doing this.[4:26:27]   Either way, this is really bad and you gotta get out.[4:26:29]   We will get you started.[4:26:34]   An open offer to Netta Williamson.[4:26:37]   We will get you started on your new life.[4:26:40]   We'll help you out with the deposit, the security deposit.[4:26:44]   We'll cover the moving costs to get your stuff out of there.[4:26:48]   This is a lot of stuff that keeps people in relationships.[4:26:51]   They're afraid to do it.[4:26:52]   You know, when you're working dime to dime[4:26:54]   on a $750 apartment and you're also paying for Josh,[4:26:58]   you don't have the money to just move.[4:27:00]   Maybe that's all that's holding Netta back.[4:27:03]   Here at Red Bar, we are offering,[4:27:06]   what do they call that when a woman escapes?[4:27:09]   We are offering shelter.[4:27:15]   So get this message to Netta.[4:27:17]   We will pay for the moving costs and first month rent[4:27:23]   on your new apartment and security deposit.[4:27:25]   If you gotta pay first and last.[4:27:28]   And we will cover the, of course, the moving expenses,[4:27:31]   the boxes, setting up a new phone line,[4:27:35]   all the bullshit you gotta do that could be holding you[4:27:39]   back, we're willing to cover.[4:27:42]   Get that message to Netta.[4:27:44]   Otherwise, is she just doing a bit, Netta?[4:27:47]   Cause that's not a nice bit.[4:27:48]   That's not making you look very good.[4:27:49]   He's walking around saying, shut up, bitch.[4:27:53]   And he's imitating Gavin.[4:27:54]   And he has no idea.[4:27:55]   Like Gavin can get away with saying stuff like that[4:27:57]   because he's built this character as like,[4:27:59]   he's a family man.[4:28:00]   He cares about his kids.[4:28:02]   He'll never divorce his wife.[4:28:03]   He just cares about the American family.[4:28:04]   But yeah, sometimes you go to rag on your bitch wife.[4:28:07]   Right, fellas?[4:28:08]   Danny has none of that character built whatsoever.[4:28:12]   He's starting to do Gavin faces.[4:28:17]   He's starting to do little Gavin scowls too.[4:28:23]   I can't believe these words came out of his mouth.[4:28:25]   Let's hear some more.[4:28:27]   Every week, I would have a lot of dollars.[4:28:31]   I would, maybe Elon Musk would be looking at my backside.[4:28:36]   You know what I mean?[4:28:38]   Like, cause she'll literally walk in the house and be like,[4:28:41]   hey, can you, I go, how about a hello?[4:28:44]   You fucking ungrateful bitch.[4:28:46]   How about a, hey, are you in the middle of-[4:28:48]   Forgets because she's got so much on her mind[4:28:51]   from all the work she's done.[4:28:52]   Yeah, I mean, she's got a lot of market placing to do.[4:28:57]   A lot of Facebook marketplace stuff[4:28:58]   swirling through her brain.[4:29:00]   She doesn't have time for this.[4:29:02]   Cause she'll literally walk in the house and be like,[4:29:04]   hey, can you, I go, how about a hello?[4:29:07]   You fucking ungrateful bitch.[4:29:09]   How about a, hey, are you in the middle of-[4:29:12]   I'll be in the middle of cutting an episode.[4:29:14]   And she's like, are you making us dinner tonight?[4:29:17]   I'm sorry, was that in a plan?[4:29:19]   Was that a-[4:29:20]   I didn't see-[4:29:21]   What the fuck?[4:29:21]   It's almost like he didn't even mean to do this riff.[4:29:24]   And now he's like stuck in it.[4:29:25]   Just like making up additions as he goes.[4:29:28]   He got himself mad for real.[4:29:29]   You got himself mad.[4:29:31]   And I'll be at home cutting an episode.[4:29:34]   These episodes that get what?[4:29:35]   130 views top that nobody but us watches.[4:29:39]   And she knows that.[4:29:40]   You've been stuck at 30 views for the last 10 years.[4:29:44]   You'll be cutting an episode and she'll say,[4:29:46]   what's for dinner?[4:29:47]   And you, and then what?[4:29:48]   Make something up quick.[4:29:49]   Stand up on the spot.[4:29:50]   Hey, are you in the middle of-[4:29:52]   I'll be in the middle of cutting an episode.[4:29:54]   And she's like, are you making us dinner tonight?[4:29:57]   I'm sorry, was that in a plan?[4:29:59]   Was that a-[4:30:00]   I didn't see it on the calendar that you behold.[4:30:02]   By the way-[4:30:03]   How was your day?[4:30:04]   This bitch.[4:30:05]   Yeah, this bitch with her calendar, right?[4:30:07]   If it's not in the calendar, it doesn't exist.[4:30:11]   So I just started putting,[4:30:13]   getting my dick sucked from the back in the calendar.[4:30:17]   And I go, if it's it, you got to do it.[4:30:19]   It's in the calendar.[4:30:20]   We don't break plans that are in the calendar, do we?[4:30:22]   Here's the thing.[4:30:24]   So he, he's like Crowder.[4:30:27]   This is like the perfect example of the Denny fantasy[4:30:30]   that he's-[4:30:31]   Yes, the fantasy.[4:30:31]   There's a guy out there that he's a lawyer.[4:30:34]   He's working 6am to 7pm, busting his ass all day.[4:30:38]   He gets home and then his wife has just been shopping[4:30:41]   at Louis Vuitton all day.[4:30:42]   Yeah.[4:30:43]   Where's the dinner?[4:30:44]   And she's like, can you make dinner?[4:30:45]   I'm cutting an episode.[4:30:47]   And he's all mad because he's been working all day[4:30:49]   and this ungrateful bitch wife spends all his money.[4:30:53]   Doesn't get the house clean or whatever.[4:30:55]   He like gets him, even though he is the one who's the[4:30:58]   stay at home guy.[4:31:00]   This is why we had to put his Twitter on the website[4:31:02]   because it's getting bad.[4:31:05]   I mean, the delusion.[4:31:06]   He can trick himself into thinking that he's the one[4:31:09]   that's working.[4:31:10]   Yeah. And he'll rewrite it.[4:31:12]   He'll adjust however he needs to make himself in this big[4:31:16]   spit. Ooh, I'd like to do something to this big spit.[4:31:20]   He's getting away with murder.[4:31:21]   Gavin hates him.[4:31:23]   Kumiya hates him.[4:31:24]   They're bringing this guy around to these shows.[4:31:26]   They don't want big spit there.[4:31:28]   He's a nobody.[4:31:30]   Let's hear some more.[4:31:31]   She can break the plans if they're in the calendar,[4:31:33]   she can cancel anything.[4:31:34]   But she's saying if it's not in the calendar,[4:31:37]   then it doesn't exist.[4:31:38]   Imagine these guys sitting around talking about any women.[4:31:41]   Isn't that just, doesn't that make you nuts?[4:31:43]   These two assholes.[4:31:45]   It's unbelievable.[4:31:47]   Look at this guy talking about all the bad stuff women do.[4:31:51]   I can't wait until you see his next tweet.[4:31:54]   I can't wait.[4:31:55]   It's good.[4:31:55]   She can't recognize me.[4:31:57]   Exactly.[4:31:58]   So she can still be like,[4:32:00]   no, I'm not sucking your dick from the back.[4:32:01]   I know it's on the calendar, but I don't feel like it.[4:32:03]   The calendar's biblical in her mind.[4:32:06]   You know why she has a calendar?[4:32:07]   Because she has stuff to do.[4:32:09]   Stuff to do, real human stuff to do.[4:32:12]   Unlike you.[4:32:15]   I just can't believe it.[4:32:16]   What's in your calendar?[4:32:17]   Tweet, tweet, tweet, tweet, tweet, tweet,[4:32:18]   lie, lie, lie, lie, lie.[4:32:21]   We're supposed to go to a swap meet thing[4:32:23]   this weekend on Saturday and it's in the calendar.[4:32:26]   If I go, I don't feel like it, that's a problem.[4:32:29]   That's a tricky fight.[4:32:30]   Because it was on the calendar.[4:32:32]   Well, we've had this in the calendar for four days.[4:32:34]   You should have prepared.[4:32:35]   So this is his brand of comedy.[4:32:37]   Wow, that was very Gavin-y.[4:32:39]   That yeah, at the end, watch this.[4:32:40]   If I go, I don't feel like it, that's a problem.[4:32:44]   That's a fight.[4:32:45]   Oh yeah.[4:32:45]   Because it was on the calendar.[4:32:46]   Well, we've had this in the calendar for four days.[4:32:48]   You should have prepared.[4:32:51]   So what?[4:32:53]   He's evil now.[4:32:55]   He's never been this mean.[4:32:57]   All right, let's examine some of his tweets.[4:33:00]   I just, you could go on for years,[4:33:02]   but I just saved this one.[4:33:03]   That's very special in my heart.[4:33:05]   Let's see this.[4:33:05]   Here it is, a woman hating tweet.[4:33:08]   Let's see.[4:33:09]   There's one more after this.[4:33:10]   The sad reality is that most modern American women[4:33:13]   are unworthy of love.[4:33:17]   Okay.[4:33:18]   Isn't that a modern American?[4:33:20]   Or is that modern Iranian?[4:33:23]   They're not worthy of love.[4:33:24]   Ask a woman what makes her worthy.[4:33:27]   Most will say things like, I'm pretty, I'm smart,[4:33:29]   I'm independent, I'm hardworking.[4:33:31]   All self-serving traits.[4:33:35]   He's obviously talking about Netta[4:33:36]   because this is the exact same shit he just said[4:33:38]   on the show in regards to her.[4:33:40]   Yeah, we got another one here.[4:33:42]   Wait, wait, wait, read the rest of those.[4:33:43]   Okay.[4:33:44]   Sorry, it's a thread.[4:33:47]   All right, here.[4:33:48]   He expands.[4:33:50]   Yes.[4:33:51]   A woman worthy of love, marriage, kids,[4:33:54]   she'll answer with the ways she adds value[4:33:56]   to someone's life.[4:33:58]   She'll say actionable things,[4:34:01]   things that she does for others that make her a value.[4:34:05]   The distinction is simple, but paramount one.[4:34:09]   But, yeah, but paramount one.[4:34:12]   A paramount one.[4:34:13]   Men are expected to provide slash produce.[4:34:19]   And yet, in the fight for equality,[4:34:21]   women have yet to hold themselves[4:34:23]   to the same standards of action, production, et cetera.[4:34:28]   You don't deserve happiness.[4:34:31]   No one does.[4:34:33]   But you're more than welcome to earn some.[4:34:40]   They're fighting.[4:34:42]   It's like, are you?[4:34:44]   That's nuts.[4:34:45]   So he's sitting there.[4:34:46]   So he gets in one of these fights he's talking about[4:34:49]   with Big Spit.[4:34:50]   Him and Ned are yelling at each other[4:34:52]   because she didn't say hi,[4:34:53]   because she's so harried from making rent.[4:34:57]   And then he goes on Twitter after yelling at her[4:34:59]   and goes, women don't earn their key.[4:35:02]   So there it is, Josh Denny.[4:35:04]   And of course, you can see him every day[4:35:06]   on the front page of our website right here,[4:35:09]   right under join the mailing list.[4:35:11]   But wait, now that we've met Big Spit,[4:35:12]   I gotta show you one more.[4:35:13]   Yeah, you got a Big Spit for me?[4:35:17]   It's the other one in next step.[4:35:18]   Josh Denny holds court.[4:35:20]   Oh, this was bad.[4:35:21]   This one's really bad.[4:35:22]   This involves Big Spit, who we can't stand.[4:35:26]   This one is bad.[4:35:27]   It includes a fantasy.[4:35:30]   A soprano style fantasy, okay?[4:35:35]   Which is perfect.[4:35:36]   We love when these guys pretend.[4:35:39]   All right, and there's a lot to break down here.[4:35:41]   He says this, funny thing happened today.[4:35:44]   Big Spit and I were holding court[4:35:47]   in front of a sandwich spot down on Pico.[4:35:51]   It was like a scene from Saturdays in sopranos.[4:35:55]   It was fun to chat up strangers,[4:35:57]   make new friends and enjoy good food together.[4:36:02]   Okay, so this is enough for me to go, holy shit.[4:36:04]   He's fantasizing.[4:36:06]   I'm on fucking Google and I'm Googling every dang.[4:36:10]   You know how many sandwich restaurants there are on Pico?[4:36:14]   I'm Googling Burbank, Pico, sandwich shop.[4:36:16]   There's about 1500 sandwich shops[4:36:18]   that look like New Jersey delis[4:36:21]   where you could hang out out front.[4:36:24]   So I see this tweet and I go, oh my God,[4:36:26]   he's sitting outside and him and Big Spit[4:36:29]   are pretending they're like old timey Italian sunbathers[4:36:35]   sitting out at Satarelli's exchanging stories[4:36:39]   at the sandwich shop.[4:36:40]   Okay, that's enough for me to go crazy.[4:36:42]   It gets worse.[4:36:45]   While we were there, a group of younger kids,[4:36:47]   probably all in their 20s, ordered food and drinks[4:36:50]   and for a brief moment stood by their cars off to the side.[4:36:56]   Then they left.[4:36:57]   Okay, a group of kids in their 20s.[4:36:59]   They went in, they got some sandwiches,[4:37:01]   they stood by their cars and then they left.[4:37:03]   Okay.[4:37:05]   When we left, we noticed that they didn't leave.[4:37:09]   They had pulled across the street to eat their food away[4:37:13]   from fun people socializing.[4:37:17]   Parents have failed Gen Z.[4:37:20]   The fact that your kids can't even be in the presence[4:37:22]   of strangers without having a breakdown is an utter failure.[4:37:27]   Holy fuck, so he was out there holding court[4:37:32]   as he says in front of a sandwich shop in Burbank.[4:37:36]   And these kids came in, they got their sandwiches.[4:37:39]   And because they didn't sit around[4:37:41]   and listen to Papa Denny and Big Spit[4:37:45]   and I bet they were wearing their highest sports hats.[4:37:49]   And because these kids took their food[4:37:52]   and ate down the street and hung out together,[4:37:54]   Gen Z has failed, the parents have failed.[4:37:58]   These kids are brats.[4:38:00]   Okay, he continues.[4:38:01]   I spoke about this on the Citizen Podcast,[4:38:04]   but we've gone from neighborhoods and community[4:38:07]   to isolation and antidepressants.[4:38:10]   This all reminded me of an idea I had[4:38:13]   when I was in high school,[4:38:14]   a restaurant that purposely sat you with strangers[4:38:18]   and forced you to socialize.[4:38:20]   Yeah, that would be.[4:38:22]   We actually had an experience with something similar[4:38:25]   a couple of weeks ago.[4:38:26]   We did, I'm not getting into that too.[4:38:28]   I think we need creative innovations[4:38:31]   like that to fix America.[4:38:32]   We have to force our way through the crowd[4:38:34]   and restore a sense of community.[4:38:36]   It's up to us, Western Americans with Christian values[4:38:41]   to restore this country to what it was.[4:38:46]   First comment is food.[4:38:49]   Okay, nobody cared.[4:38:51]   This didn't get-[4:38:51]   Yes, this only got 17 likes.[4:38:53]   17 likes, what's going on here?[4:38:55]   I can't, I mean, just imagine this.[4:38:57]   So Xander, if you could find me the sandwich shop,[4:39:02]   on Pico, that he's talking about,[4:39:04]   so we could envision him standing out there,[4:39:07]   pretending to be a mobster,[4:39:10]   telling these stories and getting so offended[4:39:12]   that the kids didn't want to hang around[4:39:14]   and listen to any of your crap.[4:39:16]   Oh yeah, it's the parents' problem.[4:39:17]   Oh yeah, they didn't train the kid.[4:39:20]   That to me is the best.[4:39:21]   Josh Denny, everybody, huh?[4:39:23]   Josh Denny, why don't we get some drink[4:39:24]   and we just, we'll do a shot together.[4:39:26]   Have a couple of kid gummies here.[4:39:31]   They're so good, you could eat these all day.[4:39:34]   Okay, we're going to have a drink together.[4:39:39]   Welcome to Red Bar.[4:39:41]   That was just the intro.[4:39:45]   Sorry, it's your need on the show.[4:39:49]   Cheers, everybody, to kids probiotics.[4:39:55]   Uh-oh.[4:39:56]   Should we introduce everybody to Matt Rife?[4:39:58]   I think it's time. It's time.[4:40:03]   He's the hottest new comedian on the market.[4:40:06]   You've heard his name.[4:40:08]   People are talking about him everywhere.[4:40:12]   You know, the whole time people talked about Matt Rife,[4:40:14]   I was imagining that stupid kid[4:40:18]   from the Bert Kreischer roast, Trevor Wallace.[4:40:22]   We were going to do a prank to you guys[4:40:23]   where we're going to say we're introducing you to Matt Rife[4:40:26]   and then just go over an hour of Trevor Wallace stuff,[4:40:30]   pretending that we're just out of it.[4:40:32]   And we thought that was Matt Rife, but.[4:40:36]   It's very important that we go over the real Matt Rife.[4:40:41]   He is, you know, I wanted this to kind of go away.[4:40:46]   I didn't want to have to go over the real Matt Rife.[4:40:49]   You know, I wanted this to kind of go away.[4:40:51]   I didn't want to have to do this because it's so predictable, right?[4:40:54]   Of course, Mike is going to hate Matt Rife.[4:40:57]   And the answer to that is yes, it's true.[4:41:03]   But it's more than that.[4:41:04]   It's not about a personal hatred.[4:41:08]   I've seen enough and I've seen what needs to be seen.[4:41:11]   I've watched, you know, content from all these guys.[4:41:13]   I know all of them.[4:41:15]   I know all of them very well.[4:41:17]   And I can say this with 100 percent certainty.[4:41:21]   Matt Rife is a monster[4:41:23]   and he needs to be stopped.[4:41:27]   Ladies and gentlemen,[4:41:29]   red bar introduces you to Matt Rife.[4:41:38]   Let's pull up his Instagram first.[4:41:40]   Why don't you send me a link to his Instagram?[4:41:42]   We could get a visual.[4:41:43]   Matt Rife, the name you've been hearing.[4:41:46]   And remember, we wanted you to help think of names,[4:41:49]   comedians names or people in the industry[4:41:52]   that you've seen supporting Matt Rife.[4:41:57]   Crime almost worse than what Matt Rife's been doing.[4:42:01]   And the reason I think we have to warn the world of Matt Rife[4:42:04]   is because we've seen what's happened with Chris D'Elia.[4:42:09]   We've seen what happened with Brian Callan, the predators of our past.[4:42:13]   We have the ability to stop the next.[4:42:18]   What I believe is a predator of women.[4:42:23]   Matt Rife, wait till you see this.[4:42:26]   Let's take a look at his Instagram.[4:42:29]   Now, remember, this isn't I'm not saying he's a predator.[4:42:32]   I'm saying I believe he is a predator.[4:42:36]   And here he is.[4:42:38]   Matt Rife will pull up his Instagram.[4:42:40]   You've probably seen this kid around.[4:42:42]   He's not something you'd[4:42:44]   you'd like to look at.[4:42:46]   Here he is. This is a good.[4:42:48]   Oh, get over here, Matt Rife.[4:42:50]   There he is. And you could keep some music going there in the back.[4:42:53]   That's nice. There he is.[4:42:54]   Matt Rife, this kind of kid, right?[4:42:58]   This kind of kid, this faggoty looking kid, right?[4:43:02]   He's faggoty.[4:43:04]   You could keep some music on in the background. That's nice.[4:43:07]   Thank you.[4:43:09]   We've all seen a kid like this before.[4:43:12]   No facial hair.[4:43:15]   And he's one of those kids that if you're not a sharp guy,[4:43:20]   if you're a guy that follows the crowd,[4:43:23]   if you're a sheep of a guy that's not really paying attention to anything,[4:43:26]   you don't really know design.[4:43:28]   You don't really know style.[4:43:29]   You hear a lot of guys even say this Matt Rife is a sex symbol.[4:43:39]   No, he is not.[4:43:41]   It is a gay faggoty little kid.[4:43:45]   OK, this is not let's not start with that.[4:43:48]   This is a big problem with this Matt Rife thing.[4:43:51]   He's what's called a ladies man.[4:43:55]   And this might be what gets him into the big, big trouble that we're hoping for.[4:44:00]   Maybe he's a little too much of a ladies man.[4:44:03]   Well, we've gone through the tafes and this was a big week for Matt Rife.[4:44:09]   Probably on your YouTube, you've seen him everywhere, right?[4:44:11]   Being interviewed everywhere.[4:44:13]   He wants to be the next big thing in comedy.[4:44:15]   And I guess he is, right?[4:44:17]   He is. What is his look at this?[4:44:19]   Four point five million followers.[4:44:21]   His tour he got on our radar last week.[4:44:25]   Right, Jules? Wasn't there some commotion over his tour, right?[4:44:29]   Everyone's trying to get tickets to see Matt Rife.[4:44:32]   And it's like trying to get tickets to Taylor Swift.[4:44:35]   It's a hell of a job.[4:44:37]   It's hard to do.[4:44:38]   He is selling out shows everywhere.[4:44:40]   Shows packed with women.[4:44:41]   Here he is again.[4:44:43]   This is not the type of guy we usually get involved with on this show, right?[4:44:48]   You know, we usually just ignore and keep moving when we see a guy like this.[4:44:52]   Now, based on this guy's picture, right?[4:44:55]   You all hate him, right?[4:44:57]   Surely this is the face of a guy you hate.[4:45:00]   You should see how he dresses.[4:45:03]   But it gets worse.[4:45:05]   I think we'll start where we started.[4:45:07]   We'll show you this how we saw it.[4:45:11]   So we'll start from the the interview.[4:45:13]   We're hearing all about Matt Rife.[4:45:15]   We're getting sick to our stomachs.[4:45:16]   We can't believe it.[4:45:17]   And every day I'm getting a message, Mike.[4:45:20]   I know you got to have some thoughts about this, Matt Rife.[4:45:23]   I go, please, please, please.[4:45:26]   And it's gotten to the point where now it's every day, it's 10 a day,[4:45:29]   10 listeners a day asking me my opinion on Matt Rife.[4:45:31]   Maybe we should show a little bit of that stand up special we watched first.[4:45:36]   Yes, maybe that's the way to go.[4:45:37]   Let's yeah, I think that's how we started, right?[4:45:39]   We started.[4:45:40]   He has a stand up special called Only Fans.[4:45:43]   Is that the one we're watching?[4:45:44]   We watched Matthew Stephen Rife.[4:45:46]   Matthew Stephen Rife.[4:45:48]   When did this come out?[4:45:49]   This came out two months ago.[4:45:50]   So is this his latest special?[4:45:52]   Probably.[4:45:54]   Guess where it's shot.[4:45:57]   Josh Denny's on the stage currently right now where this special was shot.[4:46:01]   Yes, the Vulcan Gas Company.[4:46:03]   So here it is.[4:46:05]   Matthew Stephen Rife is the name of this guy.[4:46:09]   Special came out two months ago.[4:46:10]   I think he's put out 10 specials.[4:46:12]   He's done already.[4:46:13]   He's done it all.[4:46:14]   He's working.[4:46:15]   He's done it all already.[4:46:17]   And you haven't even met him yet.[4:46:20]   So here he is.[4:46:21]   This has, um, one or 11 million views.[4:46:29]   Okay.[4:46:30]   So if you're going to pay attention to Shane Gillis,[4:46:33]   you got to pay attention to him.[4:46:35]   11 million views.[4:46:36]   That's more than Shane Gillis has.[4:46:38]   More than Ari Shaffir.[4:46:40]   The Kings of comedy.[4:46:43]   Matt Rife, 1.1 million subscribers.[4:46:47]   Matt Rife, Matthew Stephen Rife.[4:46:51]   The special.[4:46:51]   You're going to fucking hate him.[4:46:53]   We don't have to do much work to show you how bad of a person he is.[4:46:58]   And again, I thought this would be a boring guy.[4:47:00]   It would be beneath us.[4:47:01]   What do they call it?[4:47:02]   Low hanging fruit.[4:47:04]   Where you just make in front of a guy.[4:47:06]   Cause you know, you're a hater.[4:47:08]   You're being a hater.[4:47:09]   What we intend is to show you that.[4:47:14]   So we have awareness and then the real villains are the people supporting him.[4:47:19]   The real villains are the people in comedy who are allowing this in trade for a little bit of clout.[4:47:26]   You know, nowadays in the comedy scene, it's not cool to go after the Dane Cooks.[4:47:31]   It's not cool to go after the Chris D'Elias.[4:47:35]   Now in comedy, Hey, here's this loser that has no business doing comedy.[4:47:40]   Every comedian knows it.[4:47:42]   And what are they doing?[4:47:42]   What am I finding comedians doing instead of hating on him?[4:47:45]   Which is predictable, right?[4:47:48]   Instead of hating on him, like they hated Dane Cook when he came out.[4:47:52]   Like they hated who else was a comedy fraud.[4:47:55]   You know, that the comedians just couldn't get past Nanette.[4:47:59]   They all hated Nanette.[4:48:01]   What I find here is comedians.[4:48:02]   I even think I heard Louis J Gummins go, listen, Matt Rife, you know, he's doing his thing.[4:48:06]   He's all right.[4:48:07]   I could be mistaken.[4:48:08]   I could have been dreaming that, but that's what I can't stand right now.[4:48:12]   Shame on the comedians allowing this to happen.[4:48:16]   Because why?[4:48:17]   Because maybe you'll get a hundred followers from him.[4:48:20]   If he plugged, if he does a podcast with you, is that what you were hoping for?[4:48:24]   Whitney's good for you podcast gets about 10 K views per ep.[4:48:29]   Her Matt Rife episode got 800 K 800 K when Whitney had Matt Rife on.[4:48:37]   She gets about 10 K usually isn't that pathetic?[4:48:40]   I'm sorry, Ashley Cummings, Whitney Cummings sister.[4:48:44]   Did you know Whitney sitting in like the 10 to 14 K average territory for podcasts?[4:48:49]   Those are Sarah Silverman numbers.[4:48:52]   That's not good.[4:48:53]   How do you have sponsorships?[4:48:55]   How do you have sponsorships with 10 K views?[4:48:57]   She's got 800 ads in that thing.[4:49:00]   She's got live reads that she's doing for big companies.[4:49:04]   Do they just think, do these big companies just go, Oh, it's Whitney[4:49:07]   Cummings, a famous comedian.[4:49:08]   I just assume she gets 500,000 to a million views.[4:49:12]   She must, do they not check?[4:49:15]   How are people with 10,000 views doing live reads?[4:49:20]   How are they getting the sponsorships?[4:49:23]   Who's paying for that?[4:49:25]   Are they tricking them?[4:49:26]   Are they giving them fake numbers?[4:49:29]   How does it happen?[4:49:30]   Well, Whitney had Matt Rife on.[4:49:32]   She got a hundred K views or 800 K 800 K views.[4:49:37]   So that's how good this guy could be to your comedy career.[4:49:40]   Let's watch a little bit of a special.[4:49:42]   You'll get to meet Matt Rife.[4:49:44]   We haven't edited anything here.[4:49:46]   You're going to see it in full.[4:49:47]   This is the guy they've all been talking about.[4:49:51]   Here he comes.[4:49:52]   Second hour special.[4:49:53]   Wait, wait, wait.[4:49:53]   We got to hear every drip of this.[4:49:55]   Listen to this.[4:49:56]   Hey, what's up, everybody?[4:49:57]   Welcome to my second hour special, Matthew, Steven Rife, yet another[4:50:01]   special made for you guys by you guys, no streaming service network studio behind.[4:50:06]   It's just another product for you guys to enjoy.[4:50:08]   If you call my first special OnlyFans again, available on YouTube, then you[4:50:13]   understand how important your support is to me and how I want to give that right[4:50:16]   back to you and this product does exactly that, everybody of work yet.[4:50:20]   It's very important to me.[4:50:21]   And I think by the end of watching it, you're going to understand why.[4:50:24]   So if you see this guy's lips,[4:50:27]   he's talking too fast.[4:50:28]   I'm trying to get his lips.[4:50:29]   He's got really disgusting lips.[4:50:32]   They're really gross.[4:50:33]   As much as I enjoyed making it for you hit like, subscribe, comment, share with[4:50:37]   your friends, all those be worms you ever heard of a guy's lips being kind of[4:50:41]   worms to worms.[4:50:44]   Very gross.[4:50:45]   He grosses me out.[4:50:47]   He makes me nauseous.[4:50:48]   He's got nausea muscles.[4:50:51]   Have you ever seen this where a guy is like a hairless, like the muscles don't[4:50:56]   really work on him?[4:50:58]   You know, like he's got this nauseating nerdy skin complexion.[4:51:04]   This is a nerd.[4:51:06]   This is a geek.[4:51:07]   This is a gay geek.[4:51:10]   I can't let him get away with this.[4:51:12]   Like good stuff.[4:51:13]   So I can continue to make more for you.[4:51:15]   Let's see who gets offended.[4:51:17]   Oh, do you see that?[4:51:19]   Okay.[4:51:19]   So this is where you got to know about him.[4:51:21]   He rallies against cancel culture.[4:51:26]   And you're wondering, you know, look at this part here.[4:51:29]   Watch this.[4:51:30]   Where you hit like, subscribe, comment, share with your friends, all that good[4:51:34]   stuff.[4:51:34]   So I can continue to make more for you.[4:51:37]   Let's see who gets offended.[4:51:39]   And I'm going, wait, offended.[4:51:41]   Oh, he's one of these, you know, we're hearing like this a lot.[4:51:43]   Like he's here.[4:51:44]   Chris D'Elia talk like this a lot is if they're up there screaming the N word in[4:51:48]   their jokes, like me, they're not, they're doing very, very safe, made for[4:51:55]   children comedy.[4:51:57]   Yep.[4:51:57]   They're always talking about cancel culture and how they're offended.[4:52:00]   They're they don't give a fuck about offending people.[4:52:03]   And you're going, why is a guy like Matt Rife?[4:52:06]   And you'll see from these interviews, if you did your research, like we did,[4:52:11]   Matt Rife is constantly talking about his hatred for cancel culture.[4:52:17]   Tell me to pod.[4:52:18]   They hate when you do that.[4:52:19]   I'm so sorry.[4:52:19]   I just took a bomb.[4:52:20]   Yeah.[4:52:21]   So Matt Rife is constantly railing against cancel culture.[4:52:25]   And I watch people like Brian Callan and Chris D'Elia do the same spiel.[4:52:31]   Yet their comedy has never been, and never is anything that they could be[4:52:36]   canceled for.[4:52:39]   Like someone in the chat says, are we going to hear the word retard?[4:52:42]   It's like, no, no, no.[4:52:44]   So you're wondering, and I've got this theory.[4:52:48]   I've got this theory about these guys.[4:52:50]   Cause even here, Joey Diaz, always worrying about those people like this.[4:52:53]   I think the guys who constantly slam cancel culture like this, when they, they,[4:52:59]   they don't say anything that could get them canceled.[4:53:01]   They don't do anything that could get them canceled.[4:53:04]   I think they've got a little secret.[4:53:07]   And I think what they're doing is they're poo-pooing cancel culture at every turn.[4:53:12]   So when they get canceled for sexual assault or something, they could, their[4:53:19]   fans are already on board that this is just a bullshit cancellation for jokes.[4:53:25]   You know, we've seen Chris D'Elia do this.[4:53:28]   Chris D'Elia has kind of spun his cancellation into, oh, you know how it is.[4:53:32]   All these people offended by jokes.[4:53:34]   So they come and cancel me.[4:53:36]   And he's kind of confused his stupid audience as if that's the issue.[4:53:41]   Brian Callan does this all the time.[4:53:44]   Brian Callan has tried to manipulate his audience into kind of thinking, oh yeah,[4:53:48]   I don't really remember what Brian was canceled for.[4:53:49]   Oh, it was cause the woke mob came after him.[4:53:53]   Cause he's so, he's so crude, right?[4:53:57]   Cause they're always trying to cancel comedians.[4:53:59]   So I think a lot of these guy comedians that have secrets up their sleeves,[4:54:05]   they rally against, they want people, cause when the time comes, they want you[4:54:10]   to think, oh, it was just bullshit cancel culture crap that I'm dealing with.[4:54:16]   Uh, maybe you saw that I was getting canceled on Twitter.[4:54:18]   That's just that cancel culture shit.[4:54:21]   We all hate that.[4:54:22]   We've established we hate that, right?[4:54:24]   Wrong.[4:54:26]   So again, I worry when a guy who does nothing cancelable is constantly,[4:54:31]   and we did our research.[4:54:32]   We watched him on 10 podcasts this week.[4:54:35]   Cancel culture, cancel culture, cancel culture.[4:54:36]   He hates that shit.[4:54:39]   Let's see who I could offend, but offends nobody.[4:54:43]   Interesting.[4:54:44]   All right.[4:54:44]   Let's watch this stand up.[4:54:46]   We're watching it exactly how we discovered Rife.[4:54:49]   You're seeing it exactly how we saw it.[4:54:52]   All right.[4:54:53]   So let's see.[4:54:54]   Here's his first joke.[4:54:55]   His first standup special.[4:54:57]   The second.[4:55:01]   Always on the internet.[4:55:03]   Matt Rife ain't bout this.[4:55:04]   Matt ain't bout that.[4:55:06]   Matt just a pretty boy.[4:55:07]   He don't got jokes.[4:55:08]   He not even funny to me.[4:55:09]   Shut the fuck up.[4:55:11]   Y'all niggas ain't on shit.[4:55:13]   All y'all motherfuckers talk about is Matt Rife don't sell tickets.[4:55:16]   Matt a fuck boy.[4:55:17]   Matt ain't funny.[4:55:18]   Shut the fuck up.[4:55:20]   Y'all niggas don't be with that nigga.[4:55:21]   Mike apps.[4:55:22]   Y'all don't see the work he put in blowing up on TikTok and shit.[4:55:26]   This is the intro.[4:55:27]   This fucking, I don't know when.[4:55:29]   Motherfuckers need to stop playing with him like that.[4:55:32]   That nigga is savage out here.[4:55:34]   If I catch another motherfucker talking sweet about Matt Rife, I'm fucking beating their ass.[4:55:38]   I'm not fucking playing no more.[4:55:40]   You know that nigga Steve Grant, son?[4:55:42]   Oh, he gets a lot of online hate.[4:55:48]   So, and he's cool with it, man.[4:55:50]   Doesn't bother him.[4:55:51]   He knows exactly how to deal with it.[4:55:53]   He knows exactly how to deal with it.[4:55:54]   It doesn't bother him.[4:55:55]   That's why he puts a, that's why he talks about it.[4:55:57]   All the whole intro is just about the haters.[4:56:00]   Very similar to Kesha.[4:56:02]   Very similar to dingleberry that we heard from earlier.[4:56:05]   What's that black dingleberry's name?[4:56:07]   Doja cat.[4:56:09]   Dingle cat.[4:56:10]   That's what I call a dingle cat.[4:56:12]   You seen that?[4:56:14]   Can you call a black woman a dingleberry?[4:56:17]   It's like a name severed in her hair.[4:56:19]   That is a good one.[4:56:20]   She really, look at that.[4:56:22]   You'll never look at her the same now.[4:56:24]   Doja cat.[4:56:24]   And they don't even know Doja cat.[4:56:26]   They're like Trump.[4:56:27]   Who the hell is Doja cat?[4:56:30]   Some another dingleberry I got to remember.[4:56:34]   I'm opening up a streaming service called dingleberry.[4:56:37]   It's the first smartphone.[4:56:40]   See that movie dingleberry this week.[4:56:42]   We watched it.[4:56:43]   The blackberry movie that they tried to make like the creation of that's Dave[4:56:47]   Portney's favorite movie.[4:56:48]   The blackberry movie.[4:56:49]   What's it called?[4:56:52]   Blackberry.[4:56:52]   It's just called blackberry.[4:56:54]   Did you guys see blackberry?[4:56:55]   Do you run out to see blackberry blackberry more like too much tuna niggas[4:57:01]   dressed like Nick Kroll look like a damn Nick Kroll sketch.[4:57:05]   That blackberry movie.[4:57:07]   Not for me.[4:57:08]   Dave Portney said it was the best movie of the year.[4:57:11]   I actually liked it a lot.[4:57:12]   Stupid Dave.[4:57:14]   Oh, it had something to do with Canada.[4:57:16]   They really blew through that blackberry storm part of my life.[4:57:21]   They blew through a lot of parts of my life with that movie.[4:57:23]   That wasn't a fair shake for blackberry.[4:57:25]   I want another blackberry movie to redo that in a nice way.[4:57:28]   Not a kidding way.[4:57:30]   And by the way, if you don't want to get thrown out of meetings, try not wearing[4:57:33]   a headband to them.[4:57:35]   Owner of blackberry, the second owner.[4:57:38]   Guys wearing a headband and then wondering why the biggest companies in the[4:57:41]   world aren't taking them serious.[4:57:42]   I couldn't take the movie serious after that opening scene in blackberry.[4:57:49]   It was a nice movie.[4:57:50]   I would say C they got all these like 20 year old kids in white powder wigs.[4:57:55]   They're like cocked wigs.[4:57:58]   Just think of it as a Canadian.[4:58:00]   I thought I was watching MTV's the state.[4:58:05]   I thought I was watching Reno, nine one one.[4:58:11]   When I was watching blackberry.[4:58:12]   Okay. Matthew, Steven, rife.[4:58:13]   We've got a grunge font.[4:58:15]   My fit.[4:58:15]   This is what our next t-shirt is going to look like.[4:58:17]   Stretched font.[4:58:19]   You take a font that's perfectly fine.[4:58:21]   You stretch it and then you grunge a fire or this I'm betting this font came[4:58:28]   grunge, which it's a cool look.[4:58:29]   Doesn't that look like real vintage?[4:58:32]   When I see this, I go, this is vintage.[4:58:35]   This is distressed.[4:58:36]   This is aged.[4:58:37]   That's a real distressed lettering.[4:58:40]   You know, distressed lettering does not work on a screen.[4:58:45]   How is it distressed?[4:58:46]   Is it a picture of print on a t-shirt?[4:58:50]   You can't distress a graphic on the screen.[4:58:53]   That's why it looks so foolish.[4:58:54]   Only a fool does his black stone griddles.[4:58:56]   YouTube channel has shit like this all the time.[4:58:59]   You ever watch Blackstone's cooking videos where they show you that you can make[4:59:04]   pancakes on a griddle have no idea you could put blueberries on them.[4:59:11]   They're blueberry pancakes.[4:59:12]   We make this all the expeditions at all the cons.[4:59:16]   I'm always out there.[4:59:17]   People are lining up to get my pancakes and then the blueberry pancakes.[4:59:21]   Did you know you could chop up bacon all over this?[4:59:24]   This is Blackstone griddle type fine.[4:59:27]   You know, this is something that, like, if Jelly Roll saw this, he'd be like,[4:59:31]   what is this phone call?[4:59:33]   That's like a futuristic phone.[4:59:36]   If Jelly Roll's fans saw this font, they would think it's like something by Louis Vuitton.[4:59:42]   So here it is a stretched.[4:59:44]   How much could you actually care about your audience if you're stretching logos?[4:59:48]   And by the way, do you even have permission to use this font?[4:59:52]   These motherfuckers are downloading dfont.com not for commercial use.[4:59:56]   They say screaming all over the font book, not for commercial use.[5:00:00]   I'm going to start reporting people for fonts using that's a big loophole.[5:00:05]   I bet all these comedians, their fonts, they are not licensed.[5:00:09]   There's no way.[5:00:10]   They just grab them for free and dfont.com not for commercial use for playing around.[5:00:14]   If you actually that font maker can sue bad friends.[5:00:20]   They can sue us.[5:00:22]   I'll take the risk.[5:00:25]   Bring it on font maker.[5:00:26]   We'll see who who has the last standing leg in court.[5:00:31]   I don't care if I lose every dime I have.[5:00:36]   Matthew Stephen Rife.[5:00:49]   He's everyone we hate all combined.[5:00:51]   But written and performed by Matt Rife, I would hope so.[5:01:03]   Wow.[5:01:05]   Standing right where D Madness once was.[5:01:10]   I can't look at this place without thinking of D Madness.[5:01:13]   John Leach, Kevin Finney and the rest of the band.[5:01:21]   Oh, my God.[5:01:24]   Austin, what the fuck is up?[5:01:26]   How is everybody?[5:01:29]   This Austin.[5:01:31]   I hope it's the death of the USA.[5:01:34]   Somehow they messed this Austin up.[5:01:36]   You just can't do this to a city.[5:01:38]   Is that Macklemore?[5:01:40]   Right beside the stage?[5:01:41]   Is Macklemore the oh, my God.[5:01:42]   Look, Macklemore is attending the show.[5:01:44]   Macklemore is not doing well.[5:01:51]   His views are at thirty nine K.[5:01:53]   I'm not kidding.[5:01:54]   He like fucked the whole thing up.[5:01:55]   And he's got two kids.[5:01:57]   They're beautiful kids.[5:01:59]   Didn't he just do my kids are so beautiful.[5:02:02]   I bring them on top.[5:02:04]   Macklemore, you guys got watching Macklemore's YouTube channel is like[5:02:09]   some deep, crazy want to come.[5:02:13]   I mean, it started that time.[5:02:14]   We was like, we knew we had to do something different.[5:02:17]   So we did what we needed to do.[5:02:19]   We drove to the woods.[5:02:21]   We went ghost.[5:02:24]   From there, the best album ever created was great.[5:02:27]   And then he goes on and on and on.[5:02:28]   Just when you think it's about to end, he's got another edition of the speech[5:02:32]   about how great of a father he is.[5:02:34]   Meanwhile, he's on tour being carried by his very, very minimal crowd,[5:02:40]   smaller than Weezer and Phoenix.[5:02:42]   See you there.[5:02:43]   3000 seats.[5:02:45]   Macklemore's out there doing 3000 seats.[5:02:49]   Worried sick.[5:02:51]   All right.[5:02:51]   Here's Matt Rife.[5:02:52]   And, uh, yes, I think Macklemore is there in attendance.[5:02:56]   Most of the crowd is these women.[5:02:59]   Of course, this is a tick tock trend right now to go see this Matt Rife and[5:03:03]   the ladies are throwing themselves at him like Elvis, which he is responding[5:03:08]   to very weirdly and very crookedly.[5:03:12]   There's something here, folks.[5:03:14]   Let's watch Matt Rife.[5:03:15]   Let's introduce you to Matt Rife.[5:03:17]   Sorry about all this blabbing.[5:03:19]   My God, Austin, what the fuck is up?[5:03:21]   How is everybody good?[5:03:26]   Oh, my God.[5:03:27]   Thank you guys so much for coming out.[5:03:30]   This is, this is so cool.[5:03:31]   It means the absolute world.[5:03:33]   Thank you guys.[5:03:35]   Oh, just checking you all out.[5:03:37]   This is fun.[5:03:38]   This is good.[5:03:40]   Gay.[5:03:43]   One for one, baby.[5:03:44]   Let's go.[5:03:45]   Let's go.[5:03:47]   That is as cancel-y as it gets with this guy.[5:03:51]   I mean, that's about as far, as near the edge as he gets.[5:03:56]   Is this guy gay?[5:03:58]   Now listen to what he says about gay people.[5:04:00]   This is a segment that I have never heard, especially, uh, in a standup[5:04:05]   comedy setting, you know, I've never heard anything like this about dating.[5:04:09]   Junior Stopca used to have a great bit about dating.[5:04:13]   Um, that was the only dating material that I've liked.[5:04:19]   But, um, Matt Rife here has some[5:04:23]   revolutionary breakthrough material about gay people,[5:04:28]   dating, and, um, just all this stuff that he just figured out here as he became an[5:04:35]   adult just now.[5:04:37]   And, uh, it's very interesting to hear him, um,[5:04:41]   say these ideas is if they are brand new,[5:04:45]   but I think you'll see what I mean coming up here when he tells us the[5:04:49]   problem with gay people.[5:04:51]   Oh, it's the energy I was looking for. Thank goodness, man. Oh my God.[5:04:56]   Thank you so much for coming out twice. I appreciate it. That's very great.[5:05:01]   I'm gonna be honest with you. I wish my entire crowd was gay men, to be honest.[5:05:05]   The entire crowd was gay. That's Jane itself. You want to be around,[5:05:08]   you know what I mean? I've never met a gay dude in a bad mood. Not once.[5:05:14]   I've been so jealous of gay men lately. You have no idea.[5:05:17]   Have you met little out out of McIntyre?[5:05:20]   Have you seen what he's been dealing with fucking mood? Yeah, well,[5:05:24]   he's actually in a great mood. He just took down Colleen Ballinger.[5:05:28]   That is, um,[5:05:30]   Miranda Sings taken down by Adam McIntyre,[5:05:34]   who is put on a sad face jewels. You're right.[5:05:39]   He's saying all gays are happy in a good mood, not at Adam McIntyre. Well,[5:05:43]   I'll tell you when Adam McIntyre wasn't in a good mood.[5:05:45]   It was years ago when they first didn't listen. Now.[5:05:50]   This is very important stuff. Look it up. Adam McIntyre.[5:05:53]   You got a lot of footage to catch up on it's hours and hours of this kid,[5:05:58]   Adam McIntyre. I'm talking to the chat. This is homework.[5:06:01]   You have to watch every Adam McIntyre vlog from this.[5:06:06]   They know they're saying he called the cops. Colleen Ballinger. That's good.[5:06:09]   I'm glad that you're up to date on information like that.[5:06:14]   It's Miranda Sings is a monster and Adam knows it.[5:06:18]   And Adam told us about everything that happened. So he's very similar to, uh,[5:06:23]   yeah, you're nice try. You were off about gay people, but listen to this.[5:06:28]   Here's the part. That's what I'm talking about, man. I've been so jealous, man.[5:06:33]   It just looks like a good time going on over there.[5:06:36]   I wish I was gay for the fitness of the fashion alone. Are you kidding me?[5:06:40]   Oh my God. I'm straight, but I'd love to be in gay shape. You know what I mean?[5:06:45]   You ever meet a gay dude? They're in great shape.[5:06:48]   I've never heard that before.[5:06:52]   Now that is called simple hating. Mike, this is all you got. You know,[5:06:56]   making fun of some damn kid. He thinks he just came up with gays like fashion.[5:07:00]   Okay. Very easy. Like this is beneath you. Well,[5:07:04]   I don't think protecting women is beneath me.[5:07:11]   This is just to show you what his standup is. Okay.[5:07:13]   You could get a feel for the guy. Yeah.[5:07:15]   I shouldn't be trying to lead you that this standup is bad.[5:07:18]   Maybe this is very good to you.[5:07:19]   Maybe you're learning this stuff for the first time.[5:07:27]   Uh, so yeah, that's unfair. He also wears a crucifix. Look at this.[5:07:31]   That's an evil thing to do.[5:07:35]   I hope none of you are wearing crucifix out there. That's nuts.[5:07:41]   Actually psychotic. You know, and if you don't think that way,[5:07:44]   imagine me with a giant Jewish star.[5:07:46]   If I actually were a Jewish star as not a bit,[5:07:51]   imagine that that's what I think of you. When I see the cross,[5:07:55]   it's even scarier.[5:07:56]   At least the Jewish stars in every fucking demon movie known to man.[5:08:05]   The Jewish star and the pentagram are the same. Actually,[5:08:09]   they've got it even worse.[5:08:11]   Well at least I don't got a naked guy all over my necklace. That's gay.[5:08:15]   That is gay. You have this naked fucking kook, this black.[5:08:19]   What are you going to lift up his little towel? It's really crazy.[5:08:22]   I can't believe you guys Jesus Christ.[5:08:28]   You're really going to go with stick with that. You obey your Lord. Okay.[5:08:34]   It's got to end. Uh, he wears a crucifix.[5:08:38]   He loves God.[5:08:42]   So if you're into that,[5:08:43]   I could understand God has got guiding force that we need. Okay.[5:08:48]   Without him.[5:08:50]   Okay. We're nothing. So obey him, please. I guess. All right.[5:08:55]   Let's see. Matt rife. Is he mixing gold with silver?[5:08:58]   Is that what the kids are all doing now? No, that's good. Okay.[5:09:02]   What's up? I don't want to see any silver. I don't want to see any.[5:09:05]   So I don't even know why anyone would wear silver.[5:09:10]   You know, it looks fake. Looks cheap. Silver is metal. You know,[5:09:14]   like if you can't tell silver from paperclip, same fucking shit.[5:09:20]   Gold. Everybody you don't wear the idea. Wasn't tall. We're silver.[5:09:25]   The idea was we got some gold nigga. Nobody's going around going,[5:09:30]   Oh man. A lot of silver. They were making dollar out of silver.[5:09:34]   By the way, silver dollars. How expensive could they be?[5:09:39]   It's a dollar. The most your necklace could cost 65 cents.[5:09:44]   If it's made out of silver, it's about that much weight of the silver dollar.[5:09:49]   And I judge by believe me, if it was a dollar, then it's a dollar down.[5:09:53]   I got a couple of them in a, uh, uh, diaper wipe, uh,[5:09:57]   thing, uh, like a wipes container.[5:10:01]   I got a beige wipes container that I've saved for years.[5:10:05]   I keep silver dollars in it over my toilet.[5:10:10]   So take it from me.[5:10:13]   Free fucking time. It's so impressive. Gay dudes stay in the gym.[5:10:17]   That's the guy's name, Jim. They just stay in there.[5:10:19]   They just turn it out. Burn them calories, dawgs, dedication.[5:10:21]   You better respect it. That's next level fitness, bro.[5:10:25]   That's that level of fitness. The gays do fit off another grown man.[5:10:30]   If you wanted to, you know, in these faces that, you know, this is why, you know,[5:10:35]   people our age, we can't be listening to this, you know?[5:10:40]   So I guess it's okay if you're a, like a little kid and you know,[5:10:44]   modern family is the craziest you've ever done when it comes to movies.[5:10:49]   You know what I mean?[5:10:50]   If you're a kid and modern family is like the nuttiest thing you've ever seen,[5:10:53]   then this is going to be great. You know,[5:10:56]   if modern family is all you've ever seen.[5:10:59]   So this could could be on like modern family,[5:11:01]   one of those gay shows where he's walking around.[5:11:04]   Modern family is professionals only.[5:11:08]   Yeah. But couldn't you see a character like this act, like the way he acts,[5:11:11]   his character he's, you can see him being mocked.[5:11:15]   Somebody, but I can't think of who yet.[5:11:17]   Yeah. Yeah.[5:11:19]   We're trying to find out who you do.[5:11:20]   Cause I feel like I've been seeing this face my whole life.[5:11:24]   He looks like a guy named, he looks like he could be a woman named Judy.[5:11:28]   Right? Hi, my name is Judith.[5:11:33]   Some Jewish fucking Judith fucking bitch. Is he Jewish? That or not B?[5:11:39]   There's no way he's Christian. Remember the neck?[5:11:41]   Oh yeah. He's got no hair on his whole body. He must be Christian.[5:11:43]   That's a Christian face. Oh yeah.[5:11:46]   He's got that crucifix. Of course. All right.[5:11:50]   Let's hear a little bit more. You'll get to meet him.[5:11:52]   You'll get to hear the black scent that everybody's talking about.[5:11:55]   You'll get to see the moves, the little faces, the winks. I mean,[5:11:59]   he's treating you, you know,[5:12:02]   you could tell this guy's got a lot of experience trying to get 13 year olds back[5:12:05]   in the hotel room. He treats you like you're a 13 year old girl.[5:12:10]   That's how he talks to the whole audience.[5:12:13]   That's up to you. You put in the worktop or bottle. That's you dog.[5:12:16]   That's your prerogative. God. And if they're not fucking,[5:12:22]   they're not fucking shredded. They fuck dress impeccably.[5:12:28]   And they're all dying. Laughing. They haven't heard this one before Jules.[5:12:31]   I think that's just what happens. They haven't heard this one.[5:12:34]   You got a whole crowd of people. They're like, he's true. The fast.[5:12:38]   That's so true. They might've not heard that yet.[5:12:44]   They were too busy with Trump and COVID.[5:12:47]   So now they're finally hearing all these old classics from this new guy.[5:12:52]   I mean, I don't know how else to explain it.[5:12:55]   These people are dying laughing because he goes, dude, gay guys,[5:12:59]   fashion. They have the best fashion, you guys.[5:13:04]   And they're dying there. I saw a girl that cut her throat.[5:13:07]   She was so excited with this.[5:13:09]   Maybe just if you think he's really hot,[5:13:11]   anything that comes out of his mouth, you'll just go nuts for.[5:13:15]   He's wearing, look at this little thing he's wearing.[5:13:20]   And he dresses so plain. It's like a weird plane.[5:13:25]   Well, you guys are wearing like the same outfit.[5:13:26]   No, no, no, no, no, no, no. There are many differences.[5:13:31]   He dresses like when you see like a kid,[5:13:34]   like a kid modeling, or like when they put like a kid in a,[5:13:40]   it was like a children's show kid where he's wearing like a blue hat and a[5:13:43]   purple shirt and pink shorts. And you're like, what the hell kind of kid is this?[5:13:48]   There's no logos on any of his stuff. So plain.[5:13:52]   This guy dresses so plain in a really off-putting manner.[5:13:57]   It's the gay men have a stranglehold on the fashion game.[5:14:01]   They are killing shit. Nobody in this world dresses better than gay men.[5:14:04]   You better respect it. It's pretty impressive.[5:14:08]   I mean, you spend enough time in the closet, you bound to find something.[5:14:17]   Boots.[5:14:24]   Exhausted, man. We've been traveling a lot this year.[5:14:27]   It's been very exciting. It's one of the most fun parts about the job.[5:14:29]   Obviously it's a little taxing as well.[5:14:31]   Look at how this cycle looks, everyone in the eye. I'm so happy to see you.[5:14:37]   Like a Jewish friend's mom. Hi, I'm so happy to see you. Really?[5:14:42]   That's interesting. What are you so excited about? I'm just some kid.[5:14:49]   You know, she's got the eyes of a Jewish lying mom named Judy. All right.[5:14:54]   I don't think there was much to show you.[5:14:55]   That's who he reminds me. Rhea butcher.[5:14:57]   Rhea butcher.[5:14:59]   This is where Rhea, wait, as soon as Rhea butcher transformed,[5:15:03]   Rhea butcher leaves Cameron Esposito. She transitions to a guy.[5:15:07]   We don't hear from her. All of a sudden,[5:15:09]   an experienced comedian pops out of nowhere.[5:15:14]   Matt Rife is the reincarnate of Rhea butchers transgenerational surgery.[5:15:20]   Now Rhea butcher is not well known. Cameron Esposito isn't well known.[5:15:25]   It's a couple of lesbian comics. They came up in Chicago.[5:15:27]   I used to see them every day.[5:15:29]   Imagine me in a room greeting Cameron Esposito daily for a year.[5:15:34]   Cameron. Mike. It was that kind of relationship.[5:15:40]   We'd see her and I'd go, Cameron Esposito. Damn, and she'd go,[5:15:44]   what do you want, Mike? And I'd be like, nothing.[5:15:48]   How's your standup going? Fine. How's your show going?[5:15:53]   Pretty good.[5:15:57]   Good seeing you, Cameron.[5:16:02]   I was grooming her for my big hate crime,[5:16:07]   which was just the crime of speech, the crime of speech,[5:16:13]   the crime to say that her album was really, really bad.[5:16:18]   So yes, we did have some listeners go give it some poor ratings,[5:16:21]   but that was based on them listening to it. It had nothing to do with, I joke,[5:16:25]   yes, I said hate crime. It has nothing to do with you being a lesbian. We love,[5:16:29]   we have so many lesbian friends here, Robin Tran.[5:16:37]   I've seen a lot of lesbians on Instagram, leave comments.[5:16:40]   You could tell that you were a lesbian. So it's not bad.[5:16:46]   She started dating this other,[5:16:48]   even more lesbian version of herself. Take my wife. Oh,[5:16:53]   they had a show. Take my wife. I mean, this was big. I know some of you,[5:16:57]   young guys don't know about the Esposito and Rhea Butcher.[5:17:00]   Rhea Butcher was her husband, the wife.[5:17:04]   I'm so sorry to misgender all this stuff. By the way, back then,[5:17:07]   there was no genders. This was before genders came out, all this stuff.[5:17:12]   So to them, I don't know what genders they even prefer.[5:17:15]   It was before they don't have a chance to pick. Now it's too late.[5:17:19]   There was a tight window.[5:17:20]   There was a window. You can't be 45 years old and deciding all that.[5:17:24]   Now you chose whatever you were or were before the gender wars is what[5:17:29]   you are. Okay. You don't get to change it now.[5:17:33]   So Rhea Butcher broke up with Cameron. They were like this big married,[5:17:38]   big time comedy couple causing a lot of problems for me. They were at,[5:17:42]   Oh man, I would have like haunting dreams of these two Rhea,[5:17:47]   Butcher and Google them. Everybody take your, take a second.[5:17:50]   Google Rhea Butcher, Cameron Esposito. Oh, Mike,[5:17:54]   do you need like,[5:17:57]   you're fucked. If those people are coming after you,[5:18:00]   you're fucked. If they're coming after you,[5:18:04]   those are the worst. I mean, that's scarier than, than anybody.[5:18:08]   But then this Rhea Butcher decides to split from Cameron Esposito.[5:18:12]   We suspect that the Cameron Esposito was treating her very poorly.[5:18:16]   Then Rhea Butcher decides to go full trans into a trans guy.[5:18:23]   She grew and grew and grew. And I saw some updates of her,[5:18:26]   which I am hoping that's what she was expecting while going through this.[5:18:31]   Me viewing the updates,[5:18:33]   giving my thoughts on the daily and watching as you transform throughout your[5:18:38]   life.[5:18:39]   I'm sure that's what she imagined when she shared all this to her friends and[5:18:43]   family.[5:18:44]   So I would see the pics. I'd say, Oh boy. Oh boy, boy, boy.[5:18:48]   This is getting scary.[5:18:53]   This is hairy. And it wasn't good. It's not ever good to,[5:18:58]   it's a shocking thing to see somebody go through that.[5:19:00]   And with such anger in the face, that's what it is.[5:19:04]   You're not seeing anybody go from happy to happy, sad to happy,[5:19:10]   chill to chill. No,[5:19:12]   you're seeing a very angry person turn into an even more angry[5:19:16]   person looking for a fight around every corner.[5:19:19]   She's having tons of success.[5:19:20]   Now I believe, and I don't know if anyone could trace this,[5:19:24]   Xanalytics,[5:19:26]   could Rhea Butcher be this brand new[5:19:31]   yet seasoned Matt Reif.[5:19:35]   Just a thought.[5:19:35]   Cause we feel like we've been seeing him for ages. This could be true.[5:19:39]   No.[5:19:41]   Okay.[5:19:41]   I don't think we need to see any more of a standup because it's the interview[5:19:44]   portion that really it's never the minute.[5:19:48]   It's the interview portion where will you see the quick wittedness fly from our[5:19:53]   mouths? Tony Hinchcliffe, everybody, of course. Uh,[5:19:57]   we found him in some interviews,[5:19:58]   interviews that you are sure not to watch.[5:20:01]   And I'm pretty positive no one else would cover this because they refuse to[5:20:05]   watch these shows. These shows are our bread and butter. Yeah.[5:20:09]   We're about to introduce you to some of our private watches shows that we never[5:20:13]   miss. Well, one that we always miss,[5:20:16]   the one both that we know of that you might not know of.[5:20:20]   And, um,[5:20:22]   those podcasts are Matt Reif on Hannah Mojo's[5:20:26]   canceled podcast with of course Brooke and then[5:20:31]   Matt Reif on Bachelorette winner,[5:20:36]   Caitlin Bristow,[5:20:38]   and you might know her from 2020's dancing with the stars winner as[5:20:43]   well.[5:20:45]   From off the vine, of course.[5:20:46]   On all the comedians podcasts, Matt is on his best behavior.[5:20:50]   He's trying to impress them like on Whitney's podcast.[5:20:54]   Yeah. When Matt is around, yeah. When Matt is around real standups,[5:20:59]   which, you know, there's this thing going around. Oh,[5:21:01]   Matt Reif isn't a real standup.[5:21:03]   He cheated his way in, you know,[5:21:06]   I think he got his start on wild and out the David Lucas show where they sit[5:21:11]   around and they do jokes that they've stolen from Twitter that the writers have[5:21:16]   compiled.[5:21:17]   That's where he got his black scent.[5:21:18]   So he got his black scent and his start from wild and[5:21:22]   out the show that appears when edited,[5:21:26]   like there's all these guys saying these incredible things.[5:21:28]   Those are all things that have been written on Twitter that the show took.[5:21:33]   David Lucas's whole career is basically,[5:21:38]   let me find some damn tweets that no motherfuckers has[5:21:42]   seen before. What do you think? He's picking tweets that went viral.[5:21:46]   He's going into the black community. Go on.[5:21:50]   Yes. That's the thing.[5:21:52]   But for every other joke that we haven't caught him steal,[5:21:55]   it's because the guy deleted it. It was so low.[5:21:58]   It was getting such bad views. He deleted it. But yes,[5:22:02]   that's what David Lucas does.[5:22:04]   And everybody applauds because Ron White doesn't know what Twitter is.[5:22:07]   So Ron Wright thinks David Lucas is coming up with all this on the fly.[5:22:11]   Sorry, Ron. It's just from Twitter. What the hell is Twitter?[5:22:15]   I keep hearing about this here in Austin. Shut the fuck up.[5:22:20]   If I see that guy, uh, Ron White, if I ever see that guy,[5:22:24]   I'm going to bust his fucking kneecap. Tell him,[5:22:29]   tell him I'm so sick of Ron White.[5:22:32]   He would look natural in a walker.[5:22:34]   My wife and I don't talk.[5:22:39]   Kill him. You have my word.[5:22:46]   Matt Rife was on a Tana's canceled. Let's look at that.[5:22:50]   I think we're going to get the most honest because yes,[5:22:52]   when Matt is around the comedians, he's on best behavior.[5:22:55]   It's like when people go to Rogan and what do you hear Rogan say about every[5:22:59]   fucking guest? He's a great guy. I mean, Matt Walsh came in.[5:23:03]   I don't know why people say Matt Walsh is a great guy.[5:23:06]   They're on their best behavior, Joe. You are the biggest show ever.[5:23:10]   They need to be on it.[5:23:12]   So they're going to be the best version that they could even think of being.[5:23:15]   It's all being controlled by them because why would they be themselves and just[5:23:20]   be shitty? Why would they do that?[5:23:22]   So it's funny how Matt Rife does the same thing in here though.[5:23:26]   We see he's on Tana's show thinking no comedians are watching, right?[5:23:30]   So he could be himself and himself is monstrous.[5:23:36]   Hello. Hello.[5:23:40]   And welcome back to the Tana pod from Tana con have the world's most[5:23:44]   requested guests today. We really do the most cancelable guests.[5:23:48]   Most cancelable guest. Why?[5:23:53]   See, he knows he's going to get canceled for something real someday.[5:23:57]   And he's trying to put this out. Like, Oh, everybody knows I've been canceled.[5:24:02]   That's for nothing. That's like part of my bit.[5:24:07]   Wasn't for no wait. The most canceled. Oh, wait.[5:24:12]   Her show is called canceled. No, but then he said,[5:24:15]   I'm the most cancelable. Oh yeah. I'm the most cancelable guest.[5:24:17]   So this is Brooke. Everybody I'm not in her. I like broke.[5:24:22]   I don't like Brooke and Tana and Brooke both don't shower.[5:24:26]   And they put makeup on over makeup the next day instead of shower.[5:24:32]   So they'll wake up in this makeup and they're all covered in schmutz[5:24:37]   dirt, breeze. And then Tana goes, fuck that.[5:24:41]   I could not take a shower right now. Kill me.[5:24:43]   And then does eight hours of makeup till it's night.[5:24:47]   And then goes out again, sleeps with eight guys gets come to all over.[5:24:51]   She doesn't stink cause she wears perfume. Yes.[5:24:54]   Then when she comes home, instead of washing off the cum,[5:24:57]   she paints concealer over it and then shades and[5:25:01]   contours over it to blend it into her stomach.[5:25:07]   And then the day continues and she goes on 800 dates with DJs.[5:25:12]   She's been to every night ends with a DJ bash.[5:25:17]   Till till 6.00 AM.[5:25:20]   And she just keeps putting on makeup over it. That's why she's so thick.[5:25:25]   This is very thick.[5:25:27]   You could take your nail and scrape this and it would scrape down.[5:25:30]   You'd have about this much of a hole to look through.[5:25:34]   That's how caked on it is in Brooke the same way. And I'm mad.[5:25:38]   I just can't imagine these guys that sleep with them.[5:25:40]   How disgusting that would be downtown. It's all mucusy down there.[5:25:45]   You're like, you know how, when you get like,[5:25:47]   I'm sure they get waxed often you go to target and you get the filet[5:25:52]   mignon. You're like, this thing's bright red.[5:25:54]   And then you get it home and you open the target filet mignon and you start[5:25:58]   touching it. And it's gooey. You're like, Oh,[5:26:02]   this feels really slimy. And then you go, Oh, what the fuck? But it's pure red.[5:26:06]   Oh yeah. They dye their steaks.[5:26:09]   These bitches is like a couple of dyed filets at target.[5:26:14]   They're they have that same slick[5:26:19]   slime downtown. You go down and the guys think that that's just, Oh, that's lube.[5:26:24]   That's good. Sticky lube. Man, this stuff's sticky.[5:26:28]   I wish I had some of that right now. That would be a hard hold for this.[5:26:34]   So when you go downtown with Tana, you think you're scoring with some hot fuck.[5:26:38]   And I always wonder that it's like the guys that do all this and she posts all[5:26:41]   these pictures, like topless pictures is all these fans.[5:26:44]   Are there like a lot of people confused thinking this is like a hot ass babe[5:26:50]   or does everyone know, Oh no, she's just tragic trash.[5:26:56]   She's real. Yeah. But are there people out there that are like, so them,[5:26:59]   this and like an actual like hop model are the same.[5:27:04]   That's what I always wonder. Like other guys are like,[5:27:06]   Tana's fucking smoking dunk. I'm from Mexico.[5:27:10]   You think she's smoking? Yeah, of course dog.[5:27:13]   She's fucking the hottest chick I've ever seen. You see those tits? Oh, okay.[5:27:18]   So you're one of these crazy kooks.[5:27:19]   You probably called the police telling them there's two UFO figures in your yard,[5:27:23]   right? See that kid?[5:27:26]   This is what Mexico has brought to our country.[5:27:28]   Phony phone calls about serious business.[5:27:34]   Those kids are causing quite the commotion.[5:27:36]   Those two kids who claim that there was aliens in the yard.[5:27:40]   Yeah, yeah, yeah. It is aliens in the yard. What do they look like? No, no.[5:27:44]   Don't worry about it. It's real. It's real. Do you pay taxes?[5:27:49]   No, no, no. Don't worry about it. There's aliens back there.[5:27:52]   Let's waste the whole city's time. Funny joke, huh? Uncle, brother,[5:27:57]   uncle, brother, dad, brother, brother, brother that we all live together.[5:28:02]   Makes me sick seeing that kid. What a disgrace to our country's boundaries.[5:28:07]   The wall. All right.[5:28:09]   Here he is Matt rife on Tana and he's not going to act nice.[5:28:13]   It's most requested guest today. We really do. Most requested. Just like here.[5:28:17]   This is perfect. So fitting. I'm so excited to dive into everything. Sincerely.[5:28:21]   You, I think we could easily or get Oprah on the podcast.[5:28:26]   Possibly. Is she even doing TV anymore? She's still working. What's she doing?[5:28:29]   What is Oprah up to? She's on billboards all over Hollywood right now.[5:28:31]   I keep sending her work.[5:28:33]   This is like the king of stand up on the spot.[5:28:37]   This guy thinks he needs to do like, Hey man,[5:28:41]   it doesn't have to be good.[5:28:42]   It just has to sound like a joke every time and everything you say,[5:28:46]   he tries his hardest to show you his[5:28:50]   quickness and his comedic mind,[5:28:54]   but it's always, Oh, just so exhausting. Now look what he's wearing here.[5:28:59]   It's like being on wild and out.[5:29:01]   Yes.[5:29:04]   And he's got this. Here's what he's got going for him.[5:29:06]   He's trained his mind from that wild and out to be okay.[5:29:10]   You just got to fire something off.[5:29:13]   And he's figured out this little game of I could fire something off after every[5:29:18]   comment. That's what people like. He's the crowd working, right? Ooh,[5:29:22]   I can't wait till that burns out. So here he is. He's wearing a hat.[5:29:27]   This is Matt. Nice. Again, he's dressed like, okay, who dressed you?[5:29:31]   The city. Is this a fake boy? I mean, he's wearing a hat.[5:29:35]   That says Matt. Yeah. I hope that says Matt. That is green. A maroon shirt.[5:29:40]   You can not mix Marine maroon and green. That's Marine.[5:29:46]   And it's going to make you a moron.[5:29:49]   If you look like that, you know, it really is a bad look.[5:29:53]   I can't explain to you how bad of a look that is.[5:29:57]   Even if my gardeners shut up like that, I go, Nope.[5:29:59]   Take off either the maroon or the green because we're not doing this. Oh,[5:30:04]   I'm sorry, sir. This is the maroon or the green. One of them's got to go.[5:30:08]   I can't look at that. You're ruining the property.[5:30:13]   So yeah, it's not even a gardener should be dressed like this. He's,[5:30:15]   it's very weird how he dresses[5:30:20]   and there's something that I bring it up like this because I think there's[5:30:23]   something there with that. So remember this,[5:30:26]   he can't seem to put together an outfit to save his life.[5:30:28]   And he's always trying too hard in some weird way. Noted note that.[5:30:33]   All right, let's watch some more. Yeah. She posted yesterday for Tina Turner.[5:30:37]   Well, yeah, right. This year.[5:30:40]   And I'm really hoping you get canceled today and not me.[5:30:42]   And I'm starting that off like, good luck. I wake up every single day.[5:30:45]   Somebody tries to cancel me. Absolutely.[5:30:47]   I feel like every time you try to go on a podcast or every time you do go on a[5:30:50]   podcast, like we say some stupid talk situation.[5:30:54]   Are we allowed to talk about that? Um, I can, if you want to,[5:30:58]   I don't mind that. Yeah. Uh, no, I hate cancel culture.[5:31:04]   I don't support anybody who even believes in cancel culture.[5:31:09]   It's the perfectly ironic podcast. I think it's, so what are you setting this up[5:31:12]   for? What do you got coming around the bend? What accusation do you got?[5:31:16]   Real anti-cancel culture.[5:31:18]   You'd think you'd be out there saying my kind of words,[5:31:23]   but no. So he's very, very adamant about this.[5:31:28]   Cancel culture. This is called canceled. It's the perfectly ironic podcast.[5:31:32]   I think it's brilliant.[5:31:33]   Someone was telling me the other day that when they look up,[5:31:35]   like they were trying to actually look up like things I've been canceled for,[5:31:38]   but when they look up Tana canceled,[5:31:39]   the only thing that comes up is the podcast instead of all my genius.[5:31:42]   I didn't, I'm not smart enough to think of that. Like that was not,[5:31:45]   that was just like a convenient accident.[5:31:47]   That's what I did for my first special only fans.[5:31:49]   I'd labeled it only fans because I knew so many people were Googling.[5:31:52]   If I had an only fan. So it drove all the jerk. Huh? What a fucking jerk.[5:31:57]   Yeah. For my first special to get some extra hits, I labeled it only fan.[5:32:00]   So I knew when people search for all the fans,[5:32:02]   they'd come and see my special and then they'd started loving my comedy and[5:32:05]   dedicating their life to me.[5:32:06]   This is the mind. Imagine thinking like that. Imagine how low,[5:32:12]   and this is just ordinary speech that people admit on camera.[5:32:15]   Now they say stuff like this. Isn't that a good idea?[5:32:22]   I wonder what, what other tricks are up your sleeve?[5:32:27]   Maybe, you know, cause everyone's wondering why you have so many views.[5:32:34]   Oh yeah. I do like a hundred marketing schemes a day. It's pretty cool.[5:32:38]   I tell everyone about it. It's awesome. Fans.[5:32:43]   I'd labeled it only fans because I knew so many people were Googling.[5:32:45]   If I had an only fan. So it drove all the traffic to the special.[5:32:49]   Wait, that's so smart. I always wondered why you did that.[5:32:52]   That's so fucking smart. I love to see it. Yeah.[5:32:55]   I wasn't smart enough to think of that.[5:32:56]   It was just a really happy who would love a scheme like this.[5:32:59]   Tezos from the idol. You seen this,[5:33:03]   the weekend's character Tedros, Tedros,[5:33:08]   what a piece of shit. And that's the actual weekend that you're seeing.[5:33:12]   That's why I'm upset. I fucking have hated the weekend for so long.[5:33:17]   He is such a phony baloney.[5:33:20]   I've always thought the weekend was a real bad guy.[5:33:24]   Even that song,[5:33:25]   the Hills where you got all the soccer moms in the world listening to the loudest[5:33:28]   fucking bass that there is on any CD out. We've tested, we've tested it.[5:33:33]   If you have a shop woofer, listen to the Hills by the weekend. It's,[5:33:36]   I can't believe moms are doing that.[5:33:41]   Maybe that's why moms don't have subwoofers to save them.[5:33:43]   If they knew that that much bass was in that song,[5:33:46]   they probably would think a different way about the weekend. Well,[5:33:49]   now they are thinking a different way.[5:33:51]   There's all the soccer moms that all the Starbucks sales, all that.[5:33:55]   Remember you go to the gas station, it's the weekend on the little thing there.[5:33:59]   That's a very mom singer to me.[5:34:03]   So I developed a hatred because of that.[5:34:04]   I developed a hatred cause he's so sneaky.[5:34:06]   I developed a hatred cause he cut his hair. You know,[5:34:09]   remember when the weekend cut his hair. That's when I knew this guy is fufu.[5:34:15]   This guy is sweet. This guy's up to something. Right. And then that song,[5:34:20]   I only call you on the weekend.[5:34:22]   The only time that I'm around is five AM to fuck. Yeah.[5:34:26]   And then I'm out. Oh, that's sounds like a really nice guy.[5:34:30]   He's probably a pretty good guy. And then an award shows. Oh, thank you so much.[5:34:35]   Oh, thank you everybody. Yes. Oh, he's so nice. He's not nice.[5:34:41]   So yeah, it's like watching Chris D'Elia perform for the little kids.[5:34:44]   It's like, you guys cannot be liking the weekend.[5:34:46]   Now you finally see his true form on the idol.[5:34:49]   He uses knives during sex. He's strangling people.[5:34:53]   He's covering them so they can't breathe.[5:34:55]   He's poking them in the knife with the thing.[5:34:57]   He doesn't care that there's cuts on the thighs.[5:35:01]   He's cheating. He's lying. He's using.[5:35:06]   And that's the man he is. And that show sickens me. I watch it like this.[5:35:16]   Yeah.[5:35:19]   And what did that have to do with this? The weekend is like Matt Rife.[5:35:24]   He's like Tedros, Ted, Ted, Tedros, Tedros,[5:35:29]   great name for him. It's a perfect name. Yeah. Tedros. Yeah.[5:35:34]   Tedros accident for me. God made it happen.[5:35:38]   I think that is a cool thing about being a comedian is like not apologizing,[5:35:42]   like not caring about canceled culture and just like you can't like the world[5:35:46]   is full of the most insane people in the entire world and everybody wants to be[5:35:51]   mad at everything and everyone's feelings hurt or everyone's feelings are always[5:35:55]   hurt all the time. And I just don't have it in me to care anymore.[5:35:58]   I just don't. I'm sorry.[5:36:00]   I have a very select group of people in my life that I do care about their[5:36:03]   feelings. I'm very selective about who I do give that energy to.[5:36:06]   If I want to hear about 7 billion different people's individual feelings about[5:36:11]   their reaction to my jokes, I'd kill myself. You'd literally kill yourself.[5:36:15]   Yeah. That's an impossible task. I feel that. I think that like for,[5:36:18]   there was a second in my like YouTube era that I like succumb to that and I was[5:36:22]   just apologizing left and right.[5:36:24]   And I woke up one day and I was like, I don't want to live like this.[5:36:27]   There are certain things I guess that I've done at least that I needed to[5:36:29]   apologize for, you know, like failed conventions and shit.[5:36:33]   There's moments to recognize that you've made mistakes and that you've learned[5:36:36]   from those. But after a certain point, like you,[5:36:39]   as you get older and the more mature you get,[5:36:41]   you recognize what's okay and not okay. And things you've done in the past,[5:36:44]   that aren't okay. But I think as long as you know,[5:36:46]   your intentions are pure and you don't mean anybody, any harm and these mistakes,[5:36:50]   it's everything. It's patchable.[5:36:53]   He's got it all figured out. This kid, 16 years old,[5:36:57]   he's got it all figured out. This fucking 16 year old kid, you know,[5:37:01]   he's only 16, right?[5:37:05]   He's 16. He just turned 16. That's how sick this is. All right.[5:37:09]   Let's look at some of these codes.[5:37:11]   4730. I just found this part to be interesting.[5:37:16]   4730. Are you guys learning that he's, yeah, he's not the type of guy for us.[5:37:19]   So if you see people like, uh, Bob Kelly,[5:37:23]   given the green light to this guy, you report them to me.[5:37:27]   We're not going to let that stand. You know,[5:37:29]   we're not going to be able to take down Matt Rife,[5:37:31]   but we can do some extra dirty stuff to the guys who are supporting him.[5:37:36]   If I find out like Bob Kelly,[5:37:38]   that'll really make me want to do something to Bob Kelly that he can't prevent.[5:37:44]   Catch my drift. Okay. What is the time? 4730.[5:37:48]   Okay. This is where it gets interesting here. 4730. Okay.[5:37:53]   They're going to ask him if he's ever slept with a fan. Oh,[5:37:58]   let's hear. Oh yeah. Oh yeah, absolutely.[5:38:01]   I was trying to go through the fucking fan questions and it's so no,[5:38:05]   that that was like literally that was one of them. That's hilarious. No,[5:38:09]   but it's 90% things that I'm physically just not inclined to ask you.[5:38:14]   You know what I mean? You can ask it. I can pass. No, you would pass for sure.[5:38:17]   Yeah, you'd fire fire.[5:38:19]   But a lot of people want to know if you've ever fucked a fan.[5:38:23]   Yeah. Oh, would you ever fuck a fan? Oh,[5:38:30]   you're like, dude, I don't care about cancel culture. Ask me anything.[5:38:33]   I'm an open book. Not afraid of anything. Have you ever slept with a fan?[5:38:38]   Oh shit. That could be the fuck. If I say no, that's a lie.[5:38:43]   If I say yes, could that be looked at as like abuse of power?[5:38:47]   Is that like not allowed anymore? What do I fucking do?[5:38:51]   Cause I've definitely slept with millions of fans. I hope.[5:38:56]   Otherwise I'm gay. I didn't do that.[5:38:59]   So remember if he hasn't slept with fans over his 12 year standup career,[5:39:04]   and we started when he was one,[5:39:09]   then he's gay. Okay.[5:39:12]   Every standup has sex on the night of their standup. If you don't do that,[5:39:16]   you're gay. Why are you there? To exchange a joke with another man.[5:39:21]   That's okay. That's a form of gay. So yeah,[5:39:24]   if you're not having sex at the end of your standup event, that's if you ever,[5:39:30]   that's how it works.[5:39:31]   That's the prize that you get at the end of your terrible night.[5:39:37]   So until somebody ruined it for everybody.[5:39:41]   And that somebody could be really dude.[5:39:47]   And now they all have to practice comedy, celibacy, comedy,[5:39:52]   celibacy, ladies and gentlemen. Uh, this is where,[5:39:56]   Hey, can you even sleep with a fan anymore?[5:40:03]   Chris kind of made it so you can't.[5:40:10]   Oh, really dude. That's actually really funny. Like it,[5:40:15]   I swear to God before Chris D'Elia,[5:40:16]   it was not a crime to sleep with as many fans as you have.[5:40:21]   That was never a crime.[5:40:24]   I think now that's considered. You can't do that.[5:40:28]   Especially Matt Rife with his TikTok audience. Oh,[5:40:31]   I mean, you're not going to advertise it anymore.[5:40:33]   You're not going to advertise it anymore. So here's Mr. Badass saying, man,[5:40:37]   ask me any look how he gets into this mess. Cause they're saying,[5:40:41]   we have some fan questions and we know you can't answer these.[5:40:45]   Like we live in the influencer world and we know you can't answer these.[5:40:50]   So we're not going to even bother. And he's like, dude, try me.[5:40:56]   And then gets very scared. Let's see this again.[5:41:00]   Really, really subtle flex. You know your gas station order.[5:41:05]   I don't. You walk into 7-Eleven. What's talking to you? Oh yeah. Oh yeah,[5:41:10]   absolutely. I was trying to go through the fucking fan questions and it's so,[5:41:15]   no, that that was like, literally that was one of them. That's hilarious.[5:41:18]   No, but it's 90% things that I'm physically,[5:41:22]   just not inclined to ask you. You know what I mean? You could ask it.[5:41:24]   I can pass Klein. No, you would pass for sure. But a lot of people want to know[5:41:29]   if you've ever fucked a fan.[5:41:33]   Free fools said the guy took a full sip before it even happened.[5:41:37]   He was prepared. He was prepared. So you see that?[5:41:41]   He's like, you could ask me anything.[5:41:43]   Sorry.[5:41:46]   I just need some time to think about swallowing the sip. Okay. What was that?[5:41:59]   I would love to scare a comic like that. All right.[5:42:01]   Let's hear how he gets out of this one.[5:42:03]   But a lot of people want to know if you've ever fucked a fan.[5:42:08]   Yeah. Would you ever fuck a fan? Have you ever dated a fan?[5:42:12]   I don't think so. Oh, I don't think. And look at this chair. Wait,[5:42:18]   wait till you see this. I shift. You ever fuck a fan. Have you ever dated a fan?[5:42:22]   I don't think so.[5:42:24]   I mean,[5:42:30]   he did do, do, do, do, do, do, go watch a fan. Have you ever dated a fan?[5:42:35]   I don't think so. I mean, it's, I don't know.[5:42:40]   Maybe it would all happen in the blink of an eye.[5:42:43]   First of all, that would never happen. Okay. So he, this, you know,[5:42:48]   got him a little worried. How's he going to get out of this?[5:42:52]   How's he going to backpedal to get out of this one? I don't think so.[5:42:58]   I don't think so. I mean, it's, I don't know. I don't.[5:43:03]   You're in Atlanta, Georgia. You've been there three nights. You're fucking.[5:43:06]   First of all, that will never happen.[5:43:10]   I'll fuck whoever. Absolutely. Anybody. Yeah. No joke. I don't, I don't,[5:43:15]   I don't. It's a weird question because I don't really consider people like fans.[5:43:19]   Like just because you come to a show.[5:43:22]   That's a question because I don't really consider anybody to be like a fan.[5:43:28]   They're all just people to me. That doesn't get you out of that.[5:43:33]   That doesn't work for that. I can't believe he actually did that.[5:43:36]   Look at this asshole. And he's been Mr. Confident up until here,[5:43:41]   up until the 40 minute mark, he's been telling it like it is.[5:43:46]   And now, um, I don't think so. I don't consider anybody fans.[5:43:51]   Do you two idiots buy that? Hopefully. Let's see. I don't.[5:43:54]   That's a weird question. Cause I don't really consider people like fans.[5:43:57]   Like just cause you come to a show.[5:44:00]   No. Cause like you're still a fucking person. I don't,[5:44:03]   unless you're coming up to me and you're like, Oh my God. Oh my God. Like that,[5:44:06]   that's like fan energy. You know what I mean?[5:44:09]   You have one of your shows. Have you ever met?[5:44:15]   Mrs. Bob.[5:44:17]   She knows the answer. She goes, okay,[5:44:21]   somebody who's attended your show.[5:44:23]   That was like the black lady lawyer from streamberry[5:44:29]   level two black woman.[5:44:36]   Streamberry. Streamberry is level two world[5:44:41]   for Joan. Okay. Uh, let's see this again. Oops.[5:44:46]   That's command. That's like fan energy. You know what I mean?[5:44:49]   But like an attendee of one of your show. Thank you.[5:44:51]   Have you ever been like stopped by the Marriott down the street after? No.[5:44:58]   Any girls out there want to come clear? He said no.[5:45:02]   That was like the no when the doctor's like, do you smoke weed? Yeah, no.[5:45:07]   Yeah. Maybe if I remember it, I would tell you stop by the Marriott down the[5:45:11]   street after. No,[5:45:14]   I just got to see this. No one of your shows. Have you ever been like,[5:45:18]   stop by the Marriott down the street after? No. You know,[5:45:24]   that was like the lies. No tone. I've ever fucking.[5:45:29]   Okay. Now what happens now if a girl sees this?[5:45:33]   Cause I'm sure many of the girls you've had sex with are seeing this.[5:45:37]   And what happens when they get on Twitter and they go, wait, wait, wait.[5:45:39]   He said he died. Cause that's going to start the whole,[5:45:42]   that's why Chris D'Elia got where he got.[5:45:45]   Cause he started messing with the hose.[5:45:49]   You can't mess with them. You have to be like a nice guy to all of them.[5:45:53]   Otherwise they're going to circle. Whoa, whoa, whoa.[5:45:55]   He's not going to get away with that.[5:45:56]   I've slept with him a million times and it hurts. Stung.[5:46:01]   So you can't say stuff like that. That's going to piss off.[5:46:05]   It's going to scare the hose.[5:46:08]   And then they're going to get mad. And this is where it starts.[5:46:10]   So we are hoping that there's enough girls, victims of his,[5:46:15]   that listen to this. Cause we got a lot of the Chris D'Elia victims.[5:46:17]   I know I love the show.[5:46:19]   So maybe some victims of his are out there.[5:46:21]   If you know a victim or know somebody that has slept with him,[5:46:24]   please report it to me so I can put the two clips back to back.[5:46:28]   Exposure best and move on.[5:46:32]   Please help me out with that.[5:46:33]   I know that this could happen. We're putting it out there.[5:46:36]   See how exciting will it be? You go, oh man, right.[5:46:39]   How exciting will it be if that happens for us? Which it could.[5:46:42]   Anything could happen anymore.[5:46:45]   And even if it doesn't,[5:46:46]   it's amazing to know that every comedian has to worry about this.[5:46:50]   Yes. The new, what is it called? Comedian celibacy.[5:46:55]   The new thing they have to worry about. You can't sleep with any girls.[5:46:58]   I might report it in a negative tone.[5:47:01]   Rolling Stone might report it in a negative tone. It's over.[5:47:06]   Unless you want to be a scumbag. See, that really is actually unfair.[5:47:12]   You could blame Chris D'Elia.[5:47:15]   This is why we got to stand up for men's rights. Why?[5:47:18]   Why would you want other men having rights?[5:47:21]   They're your competition.[5:47:22]   They're your competition.[5:47:24]   If you're standing up for another man's rights,[5:47:25]   that means you want to be with a man for the rest of your life,[5:47:28]   probably because you needed to be with someone who has rights.[5:47:31]   Why would you want any other guy besides you to have rights?[5:47:35]   And your rights could be your own secret rights,[5:47:37]   where you can do whatever you want. That's the big secret too.[5:47:40]   To all these people complain on the internet about just do whatever you want.[5:47:43]   They're not watching you right now.[5:47:49]   So yes, men's rights.[5:47:52]   More like you want to have some men's nights.[5:47:55]   All right. Let's see what happens here. Tana's starting to hate him.[5:48:00]   I think they thought they were going to like him. I could tell.[5:48:02]   Yes. There's this one here. Wait, are you done with this part?[5:48:05]   Um, maybe. Are we done?[5:48:07]   I've seen enough Tana con and Brooke that I know that they're going, Oh,[5:48:10]   this guy's like a fucking asshole. I think so too. Right.[5:48:15]   Stop by the Marriott down the street after no, you know,[5:48:18]   no nice hotels or do you not? I had to, thanks.[5:48:22]   I feel like treat yourself.[5:48:24]   He's still all shell shocked. No, no. That's important to watch.[5:48:27]   So she changes the topic for him.[5:48:30]   Do you stay in like nice hotels and stuff? He's still shocked.[5:48:33]   Otherwise he should snap out of this. No, no, no. And start.[5:48:38]   He should be happy that the topics changed, but no,[5:48:40]   he's what's called shell shocked from the last question. Cause he's,[5:48:43]   it really is in his head. He knows he just,[5:48:45]   he knows he just lied because watch how slow long it takes for him to get back[5:48:50]   in the flow. What nice hotels are. Do you not? It depends.[5:48:54]   I feel like treat myself. I guess he's all shitty right now.[5:48:57]   He's still all shitty in his head. Now look at his eyes.[5:49:00]   The whole episode up until he's been smiling and happy. And now he's nice.[5:49:05]   Hotels are, do you know that depends because I feel like treat myself, I guess,[5:49:09]   but yeah, I don't, I don't.[5:49:11]   Are you more likely to be at like a Marriott Bonvoy? Yeah. 30 minutes out.[5:49:15]   Yeah. Yeah. More likely he's pulling himself up now.[5:49:18]   We did a show in Phoenix and we're going to do like a canceled tour and[5:49:24]   you're not still thinking about that though. You've moved on, right?[5:49:29]   Maybe a smile and an extra eye open will lead me to believe that you've moved on[5:49:34]   from thinking about how you just lied about never sleeping with the fans. Oh,[5:49:40]   Judy. Something wrong? No.[5:49:44]   Cause that's not what you look like when everything's fine.[5:49:48]   Yeah.[5:49:51]   Something bothering you,[5:49:53]   something on your mind from the two questions ago. Cause they've forgotten.[5:49:59]   They don't know nothing that we w we did a show in Phoenix and we're going to do[5:50:03]   like a canceled tour. And um, we were like, let's stay at the w blah, blah,[5:50:07]   blah. We come back and I'm like, okay, I think I spent,[5:50:10]   we spent probably more than what we made on like a nice ass room.[5:50:14]   And I have to humble back down. I couldn't care less. Like my,[5:50:17]   my tour routine is so boring and not exciting.[5:50:20]   Like people think because I have a massive fan base,[5:50:22]   that's a very popular question. Like, well,[5:50:23]   I'm sure you folks so many girls on the road. I really don't like my,[5:50:27]   I literally go, I'll do two shows. Now it's 1am.[5:50:31]   When I leave the comedy club, I have to go home, probably edit for an hour,[5:50:34]   send it to my, send it to my other editor.[5:50:38]   So you're a nerd. Okay. Well maybe you are a gay YouTube nerd.[5:50:43]   Okay.[5:50:45]   Maybe that's what you are. One or two secrets are out there.[5:50:51]   He just wants, and I can't believe you have never had sex with an audience[5:50:55]   member. I mean, I just don't understand how that could be possible.[5:51:02]   And you seem really guilty ever since that question was asked[5:51:07]   by that time. I'm so high and tired that I'm like, I'm, I'm good. Yeah.[5:51:12]   I have to, I have to work.[5:51:13]   I'm in such a blessed position right now to be as busy as I am.[5:51:16]   I just want to focus on that.[5:51:18]   That's like, I feel like you are the outlier.[5:51:20]   It's like Chris D'Elia. He just wants to focus on his family.[5:51:24]   When they're doing the most crimes, let it be known.[5:51:27]   They're just focusing on work folks. Yeah. That's all I focus on too.[5:51:32]   Love it.[5:51:35]   Love focusing on only work. I never even think of bots or boobs.[5:51:40]   No, I had that whole, I had an operation.[5:51:42]   They removed my whole organs to make that stop. No, no, no.[5:51:47]   I just think of the craft[5:51:51]   while I'm drinking with all these chicks every night, just craft and,[5:51:55]   you know, editing, which I don't do anymore because I'm huge.[5:52:01]   You're not editing.[5:52:05]   Let's see what he says next.[5:52:07]   I feel like most male touring acts at some point get kind of lost in the[5:52:12]   sauce and have a moment. And I get it. I totally get it.[5:52:15]   Especially when you're not used to getting that kind of attention, dude.[5:52:19]   And I feel like that's the big difference though.[5:52:21]   I feel like a lot of comics are like,[5:52:23]   maybe they're not as like conventionally attractive.[5:52:26]   So like them being popular and stuff is like, what gets the girl in the room?[5:52:30]   Yeah. Oh, that's, that makes sense. I don't think you really make sense.[5:52:33]   You still worrying about those rapes? Allegedly in my own mind.[5:52:37]   And your honor, I hope that he's done some crimes. Yes. I'll admit to that,[5:52:42]   but I would never wish that somebody think that when he did nothing wrong,[5:52:47]   play it to the jury, cut it here. Don't play anything before this please.[5:52:52]   So 53, 15. Yeah. 53, 15. Okay.[5:52:57]   We're going to hear about the haters. I love when people discuss the haters.[5:53:01]   That to me is my favorite stuff.[5:53:04]   You know when I see people complain about the haters and try to convince each[5:53:08]   other that the haters are this or that, or this is how you do it,[5:53:12]   or that everybody has their own hater law, hater law. To me,[5:53:17]   that's the best. It doesn't get any better than that.[5:53:19]   Cause who are you fooling? 53, 50, 53, 15. Let's see him.[5:53:24]   Let's see his stance on the haters.[5:53:26]   And I don't think Tana is buying this either. To be honest,[5:53:29]   I think.[5:53:32]   You know, some people call me the Sam Cedar of comedy.[5:53:36]   Cause you have gray hair.[5:53:37]   No, because I sell Harry's razors. I'm always selling a blade.[5:53:42]   You know, that's how you could tell that the right and the left are the same[5:53:47]   guys because you got Michael Knowles over on the daily wire.[5:53:51]   You know, the darkest guy on the right, Michael Knowles selling razors.[5:53:56]   Okay. So razors for your face.[5:53:59]   Then you got over there at one of the biggest libs with that thin lipped[5:54:05]   co-host of his Sam Cedar. Yikes. Right.[5:54:09]   He's so beta. He's cold from being so beta, right?[5:54:13]   He's shivering in his cotton candy, pink and blue,[5:54:18]   gender reveal, gender reveal studio. It's like,[5:54:22]   do you just want everyone to think that you just get calmed on by[5:54:27]   your wife's friends all day? Like, what are you going for here?[5:54:31]   Are you trying to be the biggest wimp on TV? Sam Cedar,[5:54:34]   but guess what Sam Cedar has in common with Michael knows he sells[5:54:39]   a razor for your face.[5:54:41]   And both of them spend hours and hours a week begging for you to buy[5:54:46]   their razors of various brands.[5:54:50]   Pretty pathetic, huh?[5:54:51]   Think about that the next time you want to decide who's right,[5:54:54]   Michael Knowles or Sam Cedar.[5:54:56]   Okay. All right. Back to our boy. Where were we going? 53 13.[5:55:02]   Yes. Perfect. Listen to this.[5:55:04]   It's similar to stand up in that. Like it's just you.[5:55:07]   It's only me on stage versus like, it's, it's you versus one person in the ring.[5:55:11]   It's very self-dependent. I think he does stand appealing.[5:55:14]   Who would you fight that last night? Would I fight? Yeah.[5:55:18]   Really into that.[5:55:21]   You know, Anne's constant. Who do you hate? Come on. That's the thing.[5:55:24]   I don't really hate anybody. I don't. Here's,[5:55:26]   here's a very humbling experience that I've,[5:55:30]   so I guess epiphany that I've had recently because so many fucking people hate[5:55:34]   me for really no reason.[5:55:37]   And it really made me realize that like people only hate somebody they're[5:55:40]   jealous of.[5:55:42]   No reason. People only hate somebody. They're jealous.[5:55:50]   You almost, you can't believe that some that's going to come out.[5:55:53]   You're sitting there going like, you can't believe it. When you see it, you go,[5:55:57]   there's no way that somebody is going to see.[5:56:01]   They don't like you cause they're jealous.[5:56:05]   And he said it. And he also said this,[5:56:08]   this was even worse than me that I've had recently an epiphany that he recently[5:56:11]   had hate me for really no reason.[5:56:15]   And it really made me realize that like people only hate somebody they're[5:56:18]   jealous of. And I've been, I've been guilty of hating people for no reason.[5:56:21]   That was the line.[5:56:23]   I mean, can you imagine saying that?[5:56:27]   I got like millions of people that hate me for no reason.[5:56:31]   Oh, it's just for no reason. So you're the best then.[5:56:35]   That's what you're saying.[5:56:37]   You're the best in that every human being in the world should like you looking[5:56:40]   like that with the green, with the maroon, no facial hair,[5:56:45]   those lips.[5:56:48]   No reason, huh?[5:56:49]   Yeah.[5:56:53]   Thank you. That's my Sam Cedar impression.[5:56:59]   Should we play some more of the haters, right? Yeah. This is his stance.[5:57:02]   He just came to this epiphany realized that like people only hate somebody[5:57:06]   they're jealous of. And I've been, I've been guilty of hating people.[5:57:09]   And when I really sat back and thought about it has been guilty of laughter.[5:57:15]   I've been guilty of hating people too. And I've turned that around.[5:57:18]   I hate no man. Therefore, nobody could hate me. It's just the rule now.[5:57:27]   Imagine trying to get out of this.[5:57:30]   You hate the haters, man. Come on.[5:57:35]   You hate the haters. You don't have to sit there all day making proverbs.[5:57:40]   You don't got to do it. Just don't say anything. Yeah. Just Danny. Oh yeah.[5:57:44]   We believe you. We believe you.[5:57:48]   You don't have time to hate anybody, man. You're above it all.[5:57:53]   And I've been, I've been guilty of hating people.[5:57:55]   And when I really sat back and thought about it was because I was jealous of[5:57:57]   where that person was in their life.[5:57:59]   I felt like maybe they got an opportunity that I should have.[5:58:00]   Oh, so you're a deranged creep. Admit it.[5:58:04]   I like how he says that as if he admits it, that means that's what we do.[5:58:08]   So you covet. That's pretty weird. So you're, and when did this end?[5:58:13]   When did this jealousy end? Matt, because you're only 16.[5:58:21]   I used to do this all the time. It's like you did.[5:58:25]   Cause we're still. So you're projecting.[5:58:27]   We're saying we don't do that because of that, but you're admitting you do.[5:58:33]   Maybe you're the hater. Seems like we're fine.[5:58:37]   We're not sitting around being jealous of people because they've moved up,[5:58:40]   but you actually would hate somebody for that. Huh?[5:58:44]   According to you, this is what you're saying to me.[5:58:48]   People only hate somebody they're jealous of.[5:58:50]   And I've been, I've been guilty of hating people.[5:58:51]   And when I really sat back and thought about it,[5:58:53]   it was because I was jealous of where that person was in their life.[5:58:56]   I thought it was disgusting.[5:58:59]   The only reason you hated anybody is because you were jealous of them.[5:59:01]   Can I please see the people that you hate?[5:59:05]   That's pretty sick because I go through the day hating[5:59:11]   800 people a day.[5:59:14]   So you don't hate pedophiles. You don't hate killers.[5:59:17]   You're jealous of pedophiles. You're jealous of killers.[5:59:20]   You're jealous of Adolph Klein. You're jealous of nine 11.[5:59:24]   You're jealous of this. You're jealous of that.[5:59:26]   You're jealous of the haters.[5:59:30]   You don't even mean to see these people don't even mean this.[5:59:33]   They're constantly looking for some grand excuses.[5:59:36]   If the haters are going to see this at home and go,[5:59:38]   I, I, you know what? I can't argue with this anymore.[5:59:41]   This guy, he's figured it out.[5:59:43]   Guys, it's time to start liking him.[5:59:45]   Okay. The Reddit. This is a like Reddit.[5:59:47]   Now we like them all.[5:59:49]   I'm so sorry about this, Matt.[5:59:51]   The way you explained it just really ironed us out.[5:59:55]   Dear signed all the old haters.[5:59:59]   It's never going to happen.[6:00:00]   So please stop trying.[6:00:02]   This makes the haters go.[6:00:03]   We must find more ways to do this because he hates it.[6:00:08]   Okay.[6:00:09]   People.[6:00:09]   And when I really sat back and thought about it,[6:00:11]   it was because I was jealous of where that person was in their life.[6:00:13]   I felt like maybe they got an opportunity that I should have gotten.[6:00:16]   So now that I'm doing so much better for myself,[6:00:20]   I don't have that energy towards anybody.[6:00:22]   I really don't.[6:00:23]   Hell yeah, man.[6:00:23]   I'm happy and very lucky to be where I'm at right now.[6:00:26]   So I don't have like a beef with anybody and I was going to fight somebody.[6:00:30]   It might be like, I don't know.[6:00:31]   I might be like, we'll watch out.[6:00:33]   Keep listening to a tennis.[6:00:34]   I have like a beef with anybody.[6:00:36]   I was going to fight somebody.[6:00:37]   It might be like, I don't know.[6:00:39]   Might be like Will Smith or something.[6:00:40]   He seemed to have a good right hook.[6:00:41]   Right.[6:00:42]   Oh my gosh.[6:00:44]   Tana, have you ever been this cringed out by a guy before?[6:00:46]   She hates him.[6:00:47]   And you've dated Pee Pee Wee Woo.[6:00:51]   I mean, you've dated some crazy DJs that don't even have a hundred streams on Spotify.[6:00:58]   And you're weirded out by this guy.[6:01:00]   I've never seen Tana lose interest in a guy so quickly.[6:01:05]   She was all excited to have him on.[6:01:06]   Thinking he was going to be a real crowd pleaser, but let's hear what she says here.[6:01:11]   I don't know.[6:01:11]   It might be like Will Smith or something.[6:01:12]   He seemed to have a good right hook.[6:01:14]   Right.[6:01:14]   Oh my gosh.[6:01:16]   That just gave Tana what's called the ick.[6:01:19]   Right.[6:01:20]   Yikes.[6:01:21]   This guy's got a tiny, and he's got a tiny dick.[6:01:23]   We learned this.[6:01:25]   Where did we hear this?[6:01:26]   It's coming up.[6:01:26]   Yeah.[6:01:27]   Coming up.[6:01:29]   He admits micro.[6:01:32]   I'm not even kidding.[6:01:36]   Which we pounce on when guys have small dicks, right?[6:01:41]   Right guys.[6:01:41]   There's no room for that in this culture.[6:01:43]   We like them big.[6:01:44]   We like them big.[6:01:45]   You got a small dick, you're fucking finished.[6:01:48]   Right guys?[6:01:50]   That's the rule.[6:01:51]   Small dick, huh?[6:01:53]   Wow.[6:01:54]   Let's whip up a few hundred reasons to hate him immediately.[6:01:57]   This can't stand.[6:02:00]   It can't.[6:02:01]   It just can't.[6:02:02]   Sky code.[6:02:05]   Okay.[6:02:05]   Guys got a small dick?[6:02:06]   Got him out of here.[6:02:07]   He's sick.[6:02:09]   He's perverse.[6:02:11]   All right.[6:02:12]   He's going to admit to having a micro penis though, which is disgusting.[6:02:15]   Maybe that's why he's never having sex after the shows.[6:02:18]   He's got to meet some nigga for six months before he gets to show it.[6:02:23]   He's like Colton.[6:02:25]   That's why I think he's gay.[6:02:26]   Colton Underwood.[6:02:28]   Guys like this.[6:02:29]   You know who else is gay?[6:02:30]   This TikToker.[6:02:31]   He's still pretending he's in love with girls.[6:02:33]   What's this guy's name that I talk about all the time?[6:02:35]   He's gay.[6:02:37]   The TikToker, the big Noah back.[6:02:42]   It's just the time's going to eventually have to come where you're going to have to take[6:02:46]   the bullet.[6:02:48]   Like, it looks like this guy's every day battling.[6:02:50]   Do I tell the world?[6:02:51]   Do I shoot myself?[6:02:52]   Do I tell the world?[6:02:52]   Do I shoot myself?[6:02:55]   That's what you seem like to me.[6:02:58]   There's something going on with Matt.[6:02:59]   Right.[6:02:59]   He's hiding something.[6:03:00]   You're hiding something.[6:03:02]   And to admit you got a microwave.[6:03:03]   Wait till you hear it.[6:03:04]   It's coming up.[6:03:05]   He hates jokes.[6:03:07]   No, I love Will Smith, but I'm like, Hey, he's in great shape.[6:03:10]   It's a great competition.[6:03:11]   And he hit Chris Rock.[6:03:12]   So I was like, as part of the comedy community, I feel like that's not a bad guy.[6:03:16]   That was a really, really good, well-rounded answer.[6:03:18]   I'm trying to wrap my head around.[6:03:20]   Do you think people who hate Osama bin Laden are jealous of him?[6:03:25]   See, Tana has turned.[6:03:27]   Tana has turned because she wouldn't do this.[6:03:29]   She usually tries to protect guests.[6:03:32]   She is trying to get at him now.[6:03:34]   Tana.[6:03:35]   Don't do this.[6:03:35]   Trust me.[6:03:37]   She's very nice to people.[6:03:38]   Look at her.[6:03:39]   Look at this face.[6:03:41]   If girls are looking at you like this, they're up to trouble.[6:03:46]   They've been making fun of you.[6:03:47]   If two girls look at you like this, it's bad.[6:03:50]   Get out of the, just excuse yourself.[6:03:52]   Okay.[6:03:52]   I've made a mistake and run.[6:03:57]   They're onto you.[6:03:58]   And what did Tana just ask?[6:04:00]   That was remarkable.[6:04:01]   She goes, okay.[6:04:02]   So people who hate Osama bin Laden, are they jealous?[6:04:05]   You would never ask that of a friend.[6:04:07]   If this was Omari, which you guys all know, all of you know,[6:04:12]   Trevie and Omari, please tell me you guys know Trevie at least.[6:04:19]   Trevor Moran.[6:04:20]   Google them.[6:04:23]   You guys know Leo Scappi, right?[6:04:26]   They all know that.[6:04:28]   Okay.[6:04:29]   All right.[6:04:29]   Let's see what happens here.[6:04:30]   My head around.[6:04:31]   Do you think people who hate Osama bin Laden are jealous of him?[6:04:35]   Yeah.[6:04:36]   Of course.[6:04:37]   Of course.[6:04:38]   They're mad that he wasn't the one.[6:04:41]   Wilding out.[6:04:42]   Training is providing him with a quick answer.[6:04:48]   Only William Ho.[6:04:50]   What is that guy's name on Kill Tony?[6:04:52]   The Chinese guy.[6:04:55]   Only Hans Kim has a faster mind.[6:04:58]   Of course.[6:05:00]   They're mad that he wasn't the one calling the shots.[6:05:02]   Of course.[6:05:02]   Everyone wants to be the one with the remote.[6:05:06]   Yeah.[6:05:06]   That's tough.[6:05:08]   Fuck.[6:05:08]   And all you gotta be is funnier than a DJ to get these girls fucking dying.[6:05:13]   They'll forget that they hated you.[6:05:15]   If you do a joke that is one above what a DJ normally can joke about.[6:05:19]   That's why they think big bike is hilarious.[6:05:21]   They're like dying because most of the guys they hang out are like with.[6:05:25]   I think I'm going to cut myself today.[6:05:27]   Tennessee is right through big Mike as well.[6:05:30]   Yeah, she hates what's really going on.[6:05:32]   All right.[6:05:32]   Let's listen to more of this man.[6:05:34]   Right.[6:05:35]   There's a difference between hating and hating on someone hating someone.[6:05:39]   I think that person had to have done something to you.[6:05:40]   But hating on is a lot of just jealousy.[6:05:43]   It sucks.[6:05:44]   No, a lot of it is for sure.[6:05:45]   We've all been there.[6:05:46]   Everybody's been jealous of somebody.[6:05:47]   For sure.[6:05:48]   I'm a jealous person.[6:05:48]   Oh my God.[6:05:49]   I'm such a jealous.[6:05:49]   Wait.[6:05:49]   Now listen to this.[6:05:51]   I was trying to watch Brianna Chicken Fry on Leo Von.[6:05:54]   And it's funny because we just had Jeff on the episode.[6:05:57]   And I was like, have you ever seen Pete Davidson show?[6:05:59]   And he's like, I can't watch that show.[6:06:00]   Okay.[6:06:01]   We think that TikTok champion here, Matt Rife might have somebody that he hates that he[6:06:14]   doesn't want to admit to.[6:06:17]   There's only one other person that is in competition with Matt Rife now for King of TikTok[6:06:23]   comedian.[6:06:24]   And that person is none other than Brendan Schaub's own Theo Von.[6:06:33]   Yep.[6:06:34]   Theo Von from Brendan Schaub.[6:06:38]   Theo Von is Matt Rife's biggest TikTok competition.[6:06:43]   Tana's going to bring up how much he loves Theo.[6:06:46]   It doesn't look like, you know, Matt's going to claim he loves Theo.[6:06:50]   Well, he pretends like he loves Theo, but he does a twisted little move.[6:06:55]   Little twisted little move here.[6:06:58]   Does Matt Rife have plans in his head to try to take down King of TikTok, Theo Von from[6:07:07]   this smile of mine podcast, new episode with Roseanne out now.[6:07:15]   So really good.[6:07:16]   You guys should listen to those really good, really worth listening to.[6:07:21]   Okay.[6:07:21]   Listen to this.[6:07:22]   I'm not so much anymore.[6:07:23]   I was trying to watch Brianna Chickenfry on Theo Von.[6:07:27]   And it's funny because we just had Jeff on the episode.[6:07:29]   And I was like, have you ever seen Pete Davidson show?[6:07:31]   And he's like, I can't watch that because I'm going to fucking kill myself.[6:07:33]   But it's not me.[6:07:34]   Like I'm from Staten Island.[6:07:35]   I want to be fine.[6:07:36]   Expose Jeff.[6:07:37]   Our friend, Jeff Witte.[6:07:37]   Okay.[6:07:38]   Oh, that's nice.[6:07:39]   So Jeff's jealous of Pete Davidson.[6:07:41]   I'm sure he wanted the whole world to know that.[6:07:43]   He said that on the podcast.[6:07:45]   Hile on Jeff FM.[6:07:46]   He's having a hard week.[6:07:48]   He's going through depression.[6:07:49]   If you see Jeff FM online, go, Oh my God.[6:07:52]   I heard that you're jealous of Pete Davidson.[6:07:53]   You won't watch his show.[6:07:54]   Tana's telling everyone.[6:07:57]   See how that feels on his week of having a bad week.[6:08:01]   He's got a heavy week happening right now.[6:08:03]   That's Jeff Wittek.[6:08:04]   I want Jeff and Tana to get married.[6:08:07]   Okay.[6:08:08]   Let's hear some more.[6:08:10]   It was just going on and on.[6:08:11]   And I was like, Jeff, you're such a pussy.[6:08:12]   Like watch it, whatever.[6:08:13]   I can't watch Brianna on Theo because I'm like, I want to be in her shoes.[6:08:19]   I'm a jealous fucking ass bitch.[6:08:20]   Like I feel like he would have you for a podcast.[6:08:23]   Yes.[6:08:23]   I'm sure you could get on his podcast.[6:08:24]   He just had somebody else with way less followers.[6:08:27]   I forget who it was.[6:08:28]   I don't.[6:08:28]   I mean, I would like to obviously I am so weird like that.[6:08:32]   I'm crazy.[6:08:33]   Like I get in my own head.[6:08:34]   Like I can have the most successful day.[6:08:37]   Do my job so well.[6:08:38]   Life is going so good.[6:08:39]   And then I see something like that and I'm like, I am a failure and I have to talk myself off a ledge.[6:08:44]   I'm supposed to do his podcast sometime in the next couple of months.[6:08:48]   I have a question or conversation piece about that, though.[6:08:54]   Like his podcast.[6:08:55]   Everyone knows.[6:08:55]   He'll say the most ridiculous things on his pocket.[6:08:58]   He's literally said the N word on his podcast multiple times, right?[6:09:01]   Excuse me, Mary.[6:09:05]   Oh yeah.[6:09:06]   I'm supposed to do Theo's podcast in three months.[6:09:08]   You know, he says ridiculous things.[6:09:10]   He wants he, I think he's even said the N word on his podcast.[6:09:13]   Hear that?[6:09:13]   Oh, I'm sorry.[6:09:15]   He didn't mean to expose Theo during the height of his popularity.[6:09:21]   So did Matt Rife manipulatively sneak this in to say that Theo.[6:09:27]   Oh, didn't Theo say the N word on his podcast a bunch of times?[6:09:34]   Just mentioning it.[6:09:35]   It's just me, Matt Rife, who gets a million views going on anybody's podcast.[6:09:40]   Hope that doesn't hurt his little TikTok career.[6:09:45]   Let's see this again.[6:09:46]   The question or conversation piece about that, though.[6:09:48]   Like his podcast.[6:09:49]   Everyone knows.[6:09:50]   He'll say the most ridiculous things on his pocket.[6:09:52]   He's literally said the N word on his podcast multiple times, right?[6:09:56]   Nobody goes after him to try to cancel him.[6:09:57]   Nobody gets upset because everyone understands it's a joke.[6:09:59]   This is a car.[6:10:00]   This is you've kind of been looking at his success on TikTok and saying to yourself,[6:10:04]   what the fuck, man?[6:10:05]   This guy said the N word.[6:10:06]   He can't even get canceled.[6:10:07]   Come on, man.[6:10:07]   Someone's got to find out about this shit.[6:10:10]   Fuck, man.[6:10:11]   He was here.[6:10:12]   He wasn't here.[6:10:13]   I'd be the damn king of this talk.[6:10:16]   Damn.[6:10:17]   I'd be getting all the honey.[6:10:21]   This is what's going through his mind, I think.[6:10:25]   Now, keep in mind, there's something here.[6:10:27]   She just mentioned Brianna Chicken Fry from the BFFs podcast with Dave Portney.[6:10:32]   She was on Theo Von's podcast.[6:10:36]   And Theo did something real bad to her.[6:10:39]   We are very close with Brianna.[6:10:42]   Jules and I are very close.[6:10:43]   We've known her and her family for a long time.[6:10:46]   And Theo says something about Brianna.[6:10:50]   And, you know, I know firsthand it really hurt her feelings.[6:10:57]   And we're going to share that with you.[6:10:58]   I think Theo is a sex addict slash sex criminal.[6:11:02]   And I've got proof coming up.[6:11:05]   More ammo for Rife, I guess.[6:11:07]   More ammo for Rife.[6:11:08]   Because Rife's got to knock this Theo Von off TikTok.[6:11:11]   Theo said the N word.[6:11:12]   I don't even think that's true.[6:11:14]   I know.[6:11:15]   I can't imagine that's true.[6:11:16]   I would know about it as an N word historian of the internet.[6:11:22]   There's nobody saying that word.[6:11:24]   The last person to say that word?[6:11:25]   iDubbbz.[6:11:28]   And he's regretted it ever since.[6:11:31]   Okay, so do we have another code here?[6:11:33]   We could go to the other one now.[6:11:34]   But can we do like a two second break?[6:11:36]   Yeah, let's take a quick little break.[6:11:37]   And when we come back, you're gonna hear about Matt Rife's micropenis.[6:11:40]   You don't want to miss that.[6:11:42]   Don't go anywhere.[6:11:42]   We'll see you very soon.[6:11:44]   Coming up on Redbar.[6:11:46]   More Redbar on the way.[6:11:47]   Thank you.[6:11:49]   We'll see you soon.[6:12:11]   We'll see you soon.[6:12:41]   Bye.[6:13:11]   Bye.[6:13:41]   Bye.[6:14:11]   Bye.[6:14:41]   Bye.[6:15:11]   Bye.[6:15:41]   Bye.[6:16:11]   Hi, welcome back to Redbar.[6:16:16]   Thank you for being a Scars Club member.[6:16:18]   If you're not a member, join today.[6:16:20]   Redbarradio.net slash Scars Club get episodes like this one.[6:16:24]   We do these every other week.[6:16:26]   Thank you.[6:16:28]   All right, we're back.[6:16:29]   We're going to show you this clip of Matt Rife's little micro.[6:16:33]   Does he show it too?[6:16:35]   Does he show it in this Jules?[6:16:36]   Maybe he shows his little.[6:16:39]   I think he's got one of these real bald, skinny,[6:16:43]   disgusting.[6:16:47]   Doesn't he look like a little kid from school called Adam?[6:16:51]   Adam McIntyre.[6:16:52]   Not Adam.[6:16:53]   Yeah, you got the same kind of lips as Adam McIntyre, actually.[6:16:56]   OK, this is Caitlin Bristow's show.[6:16:59]   Let's see.[6:17:00]   We're looking at Matt Rife.[6:17:01]   Finishing up our welcome introduction to Matt Rife.[6:17:05]   The Matt Rife dating scene, the world of Matt Rife.[6:17:09]   Here he is with Caitlin Bristow.[6:17:11]   You guys know her, right?[6:17:13]   She's the best household name.[6:17:15]   She's the best.[6:17:15]   OK, kill that.[6:17:16]   Let's show him a little bit of this.[6:17:20]   Here it comes.[6:17:23]   I think we should grab something from the cellar.[6:17:27]   This is a great podcast.[6:17:28]   Never seen before.[6:17:38]   Cheers.[6:17:39]   Laughs.[6:17:41]   Cackles.[6:17:44]   From the cellar.[6:17:45]   Cheers to Matthew Stephen.[6:17:47]   Right.[6:17:48]   That's your new full government name.[6:17:50]   Thank you.[6:17:50]   That's your full government name.[6:17:52]   Look at this.[6:17:53]   I'm Caitlin Don Bristow and welcome to.[6:17:55]   And what business does he have going on all these shows?[6:17:57]   His manager trying to target women for him.[6:18:00]   Putting them on all these girl shows.[6:18:02]   That's pretty sneaky, huh?[6:18:03]   That he's going around doing.[6:18:05]   I mean, what kind of guy?[6:18:06]   You ever seen a comic on this show?[6:18:08]   That would be nuts.[6:18:09]   That's really nuts.[6:18:10]   Look at this.[6:18:11]   He shouldn't be on a show like this.[6:18:12]   Look at this sneaky guy.[6:18:13]   Yeah, that's your full government name.[6:18:16]   I'm Caitlin Don Bristow and welcome to Off the Vine Podcast.[6:18:21]   Do you like that?[6:18:22]   I do like that.[6:18:22]   That's my aunt's name.[6:18:24]   Here.[6:18:24]   Oh, I thought you were gonna say unclut for the sake of time.[6:18:27]   You should go do this part really quick.[6:18:28]   Go to five, 10, five, 10.[6:18:31]   Let's see what we got.[6:18:33]   I have 10.[6:18:34]   This is amazing stuff.[6:18:35]   Okay.[6:18:36]   Going away.[6:18:40]   I mean, your instagram is crushing no matter what.[6:18:42]   But no, the followers are starting to kind of convert to other platforms.[6:18:45]   Now I'll look, um, this is going to sound ridiculous, but I wish.[6:18:50]   No, no, no, no, no, no, no.[6:18:51]   I think opposite.[6:18:52]   Okay.[6:18:53]   So Caitlin has this thing called the douche jar that when you say something[6:18:57]   you have to put a dollar in the jar.[6:18:59]   So that's, this is my favorite part.[6:19:02]   Go back like five seconds.[6:19:03]   Okay.[6:19:04]   He goes, I'm about to say something.[6:19:05]   And she goes, douche jar.[6:19:06]   Cause she thinks he's about to say something douchey.[6:19:08]   And he goes, no, I'm actually going to take a dollar out of the jar for this[6:19:11]   one because it's so non douchey.[6:19:14]   Wow.[6:19:14]   Okay.[6:19:14]   I can't wait to hear it.[6:19:15]   We're starting to kind of convert to other platforms now.[6:19:19]   Look, um, this is going to sound ridiculous, but I wish.[6:19:23]   No, no, no, no, no, no.[6:19:24]   I think opposite.[6:19:25]   Actually, I'll take a dollar out.[6:19:26]   Great.[6:19:27]   I wish all social media would disappear.[6:19:29]   Really?[6:19:31]   No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.[6:19:32]   Please don't insult to you, Nick.[6:19:34]   Stop.[6:19:34]   Don't wish on that.[6:19:38]   Here, here it is again.[6:19:39]   Take a dollar out.[6:19:39]   Great.[6:19:40]   Okay.[6:19:40]   I wish all social media would disappear.[6:19:44]   So that you can't get busted for the rent so that you can just do the tours[6:19:48]   without all the people telling people what's been going on.[6:19:52]   Why does it need to disappear?[6:19:54]   That would cause an economic crisis.[6:19:57]   You hear that?[6:19:59]   Conservatives.[6:20:00]   He wants to shut down the mainframe.[6:20:02]   He explains it pretty good.[6:20:03]   Okay.[6:20:05]   I really, I really wish it.[6:20:06]   I think it's absolutely horrible.[6:20:08]   You wish all social media would go away?[6:20:10]   Yeah, I think it does.[6:20:11]   For strictly mental health purposes or?[6:20:14]   Yeah, I think it would.[6:20:16]   I mean, that's a broader landscape of it, but yeah.[6:20:19]   I think social media does way more bad than it does good.[6:20:22]   I think it makes people worse.[6:20:24]   I think people miss out on human interactions.[6:20:27]   Everything in person is just better.[6:20:28]   I mean, this podcast almost happened on zoom and I'm glad it didn't.[6:20:32]   I'm really glad it did more fun.[6:20:33]   I'm really glad it didn't.[6:20:34]   And I had the shittiest setup.[6:20:36]   I was at an Airbnb.[6:20:37]   You had shitty wifi.[6:20:39]   Interesting.[6:20:40]   Okay.[6:20:40]   So you wish all social media would disappear.[6:20:41]   Do you think it's just stressful?[6:20:43]   It is stressful.[6:20:44]   I definitely agree with you.[6:20:45]   It's stressful.[6:20:46]   I love it though, because I was thinking about this even for you.[6:20:50]   You can do this comedy special or even just a Tik TOK and reach millions of people, which[6:20:56]   would never, that's like how many stadiums, like NFL stadiums of people that you get to[6:21:02]   reach and make people laugh.[6:21:05]   You're pissing a lot of people off because that's what we do.[6:21:07]   If we have a platform, we piss people off and we make people happy.[6:21:10]   There's always going to be that duality of it, but I'm so you didn't, you wouldn't care[6:21:14]   if the numbers went away, as long as you could keep doing what you love to do.[6:21:18]   If the sacrifice for millions of viewers to be able to see a good thing, I can put out[6:21:24]   if the sacrifice for that is making sure an entire generation of people know that it's[6:21:29]   not okay to talk to people a certain way because they're hidden behind a computer[6:21:33]   screen.[6:21:33]   I would absolutely trade that.[6:21:35]   Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.[6:21:37]   You want all social media to disappear because of the haters behind our screens?[6:21:48]   Can't stand.[6:21:49]   This is my livelihood.[6:21:50]   He's attacking my livelihood.[6:21:53]   Let's hear that again.[6:21:55]   They're hidden behind a computer screen.[6:21:58]   I would absolutely trade that.[6:21:59]   Like social media has turned people into such.[6:22:01]   They are, they really are.[6:22:03]   And I love that word.[6:22:04]   It's little bitches.[6:22:05]   They really are.[6:22:06]   But what, but so do you get a lot of trolls?[6:22:09]   Oh my God.[6:22:11]   Yeah.[6:22:12]   If you think women love me, trolls love me way more.[6:22:15]   For no reason.[6:22:16]   Oh my God.[6:22:17]   Yes.[6:22:17]   It's like the worst thing anyone's ever said to you.[6:22:21]   It's never like one direct thing.[6:22:23]   And ultimately like I.[6:22:25]   Is everyone just trying to cancel you because you have.[6:22:26]   Oh my God.[6:22:27]   Yeah.[6:22:28]   People try to cancel me every day.[6:22:30]   I've had three times last week.[6:22:32]   It's like, thankfully we're, we're now like that pendulum is swinging back.[6:22:36]   Like people are tired of people getting canceled.[6:22:39]   See, Caitlin gets bullied all day on for her Botox and she's old and all this.[6:22:45]   She's like, what crazy shit do people say about you?[6:22:47]   And he's like, Oh, because what they say is he's not funny.[6:22:51]   You're not funny.[6:22:51]   He can't say.[6:22:52]   And you can't say it.[6:22:53]   He can't even let that come out of his own mouth.[6:22:55]   So he goes, Oh, it's just like the general attitude.[6:23:00]   Well, what did they say about you?[6:23:02]   That you're so fucking stupid.[6:23:07]   Oh, that you're not funny.[6:23:08]   Hmm.[6:23:09]   Maybe I should look into that claim if it's thousands and thousands of people.[6:23:13]   But he doesn't want, he doesn't want you looking into that claim.[6:23:15]   He doesn't want you thinking that way.[6:23:17]   So he goes, Oh, maybe I'll okay.[6:23:20]   Horrific thing.[6:23:21]   Right.[6:23:22]   You're not getting, you're not actually canceled.[6:23:24]   Canceled means nothing.[6:23:25]   What am I, a Netflix subscription?[6:23:27]   Like you can't, you can't, it's another thing about social media.[6:23:30]   I hate like the slang behind it drives me.[6:23:32]   I know everything is the most dramatic version of everything.[6:23:35]   Oh, he got dragged on the internet.[6:23:38]   Oh, did I, did someone come to my house, grab me by the hair and drag me?[6:23:42]   Down the page.[6:23:44]   Okay.[6:23:44]   You can't do that.[6:23:46]   You can't do that to slang.[6:23:48]   Oh, drag.[6:23:50]   Did somebody actually physically drag me?[6:23:52]   Okay.[6:23:54]   You can't do that.[6:23:55]   That's what he just did.[6:23:57]   Cheating.[6:23:59]   All right.[6:23:59]   What's the, let's do the micro penis here.[6:24:02]   You can go to 20 minutes, 20 minutes in or go to like 2030.[6:24:08]   2030.[6:24:10]   Here we go.[6:24:13]   Uh, a photo of you from like back in the day.[6:24:16]   Probably.[6:24:17]   And now that you say the gap, I love a gap in a, in, yeah, I love it.[6:24:21]   See, girls will say that.[6:24:22]   Cause they, cause it's like, oh, he has a flaw.[6:24:24]   Oh my God.[6:24:24]   Oh, he's not perfect.[6:24:25]   He has like a little flaw.[6:24:26]   Perfections are so sexy.[6:24:27]   Oh my God.[6:24:28]   You know who says that?[6:24:29]   Perfect people.[6:24:31]   I wish I had something wrong with me.[6:24:33]   That's so cute.[6:24:34]   How you have like a little, like, what do you like?[6:24:35]   Like ill.[6:24:36]   Oh my God.[6:24:37]   It's so cute.[6:24:39]   Terminal illness.[6:24:40]   But that's, I've gotten plenty of Botox to fix my flaws, but I have, I've character flaws,[6:24:47]   but like I am a 10, but I have character.[6:24:49]   I'm just kidding.[6:24:50]   I'm just kidding.[6:24:52]   That might even call for a fiver.[6:24:58]   Up over here.[6:24:59]   Okay.[6:25:00]   I got to watch myself because I can't afford, I got to pay my assistant.[6:25:03]   I can't afford it anymore.[6:25:04]   You owe her some money.[6:25:06]   Yeah.[6:25:06]   Wait, what was it?[6:25:07]   Oh, the teeth.[6:25:08]   Okay.[6:25:08]   I won't touch my teeth.[6:25:09]   I'm a perfectionist is the problem.[6:25:11]   That's not a bad thing.[6:25:12]   Where are you going?[6:25:13]   Glenda.[6:25:14]   Oh, you don't think it's, are you a bit of a perfectionist when it comes to like your[6:25:18]   stand up and, or are you kind of like, I think with everything, uh, stand up, uh, fuck.[6:25:25]   Yeah.[6:25:25]   My, my looks as well.[6:25:26]   You are Dick Morphia, all that good stuff.[6:25:28]   Dick Morphia.[6:25:31]   Everybody stops thinking, what the fuck is this?[6:25:33]   What's Dick Morphia here?[6:25:35]   Just another one of these Morpheus things.[6:25:37]   Everybody's always doing.[6:25:39]   Dick Morphia.[6:25:40]   That she goes, what?[6:25:42]   Dick Morphia.[6:25:43]   She says, listen to this.[6:25:45]   Uh, fuck.[6:25:46]   Yeah.[6:25:46]   My, my looks as well.[6:25:47]   You are Dick Morphia, all that good stuff.[6:25:49]   Dick Morphia.[6:25:50]   Yeah.[6:25:51]   Oh, like body dysmorphia.[6:25:52]   Oh, of course.[6:25:53]   You can give a small ween.[6:25:54]   I don't think it's small.[6:25:55]   I think it's totally fine.[6:25:57]   But do you joke about it being small?[6:25:59]   I mean, well, yeah, I would definitely would rather underplay events.[6:26:02]   I'm not allowed here at red bar.[6:26:07]   You know, who does this?[6:26:08]   Logan Paul.[6:26:10]   No, bro.[6:26:11]   I got a micro penis.[6:26:12]   You know why I say that?[6:26:14]   Cause that way when they get with me, they take my shots down.[6:26:17]   They go, whoa, it's a nipples.[6:26:19]   But then they look down, they go, wait, that's not the micro penis that they promised.[6:26:24]   That's not that bad.[6:26:26]   So see you under promise.[6:26:28]   Oh, but deliver.[6:26:29]   The small man's game.[6:26:31]   The small man game.[6:26:33]   That's Logan Paul's thing.[6:26:34]   And now he's saying this, he's admitting this and his peers.[6:26:38]   Me has just witnessed this and it's telling everybody.[6:26:42]   He thought this was sitting away on some bachelor franchise shit.[6:26:45]   No, no, no.[6:26:46]   Tell everyone.[6:26:48]   He said this.[6:26:49]   You joke about it being small.[6:26:50]   I mean, well, yeah, I definitely would rather underplay events than be like, oh, I've got[6:26:55]   a big dick.[6:26:55]   And people are like, you think that that's so cute.[6:26:58]   That's adorable.[6:26:59]   I genuinely don't believe she's disgusted by him.[6:27:02]   By the way, if a girl's sitting across from you and you're like, oh, yeah,[6:27:04]   I actually have a small dick.[6:27:05]   They're like, oh, fuck.[6:27:08]   This guy's fucking crazy.[6:27:10]   So I got to go.[6:27:12]   They are, it's more than you think.[6:27:16]   They hate you now.[6:27:19]   So she's disgusted.[6:27:20]   She recoiled when he told this story.[6:27:24]   Yeah, I definitely would rather underplay events than be like, oh, I've got a big dick.[6:27:28]   And people are like, you think that that's so cute.[6:27:31]   That's adorable.[6:27:32]   I genuinely don't believe you have to set the bar low.[6:27:34]   Oh, of course.[6:27:35]   But also, I watch porn.[6:27:36]   So I know how big dicks, how big dicks get.[6:27:40]   And I'm very small in porn, by the way.[6:27:42]   I bet they're not funny.[6:27:44]   They're not charming and a good person.[6:27:47]   He's a good person.[6:27:48]   Guys who have big dicks probably aren't funny like you or charming or a good person like[6:27:54]   you.[6:27:54]   That's that jealousy that he talks about that haunts him.[6:27:58]   Interesting.[6:27:59]   Is this a good guy to you?[6:28:00]   What do you guys think?[6:28:01]   What do you guys think?[6:28:02]   Good or bad?[6:28:03]   I have a million more coach than I know.[6:28:05]   We'll save them for next time about the haters.[6:28:07]   But you get the idea.[6:28:08]   You get the idea.[6:28:09]   There he is.[6:28:10]   That's your introduction to Matt Rife.[6:28:12]   What did you think?[6:28:14]   Not a good guy.[6:28:15]   Similar to the next.[6:28:16]   Not a good guy.[6:28:18]   Tony Hinchcliffe.[6:28:20]   Make some noise for Tony Hinchcliffe.[6:28:22]   The Kill Tony show just celebrated their 10th anniversary show.[6:28:27]   Brian Redban killed Tony himself.[6:28:30]   Tony, of course, D Madness.[6:28:34]   John C's on the keys.[6:28:37]   Matt Muehling on bass.[6:28:39]   And Michael Ferreira, of course, on drums.[6:28:43]   The Kill Tony band, of course.[6:28:44]   Let's give it up to them.[6:28:45]   And you're going to want to give it up to them because they did us the same way Louis[6:28:51]   CK did us in the Kill Tony $20 live stream opened with hours of the band jamming.[6:29:01]   I wanted to fucking kill myself.[6:29:04]   So we're going to open this right now.[6:29:06]   And hopefully it's not expired.[6:29:08]   The Kill Tony 20th anniversary.[6:29:10]   We told you about this.[6:29:11]   This was on Moment House.[6:29:13]   They could have just went live on their YouTube channel, but they wanted the money.[6:29:17]   So they went live on Moment House.[6:29:20]   Just a live stream of a regular, actually a worse version of the Kill Tony show.[6:29:26]   But they did it in an arena with three or that theater with 3000 people.[6:29:30]   So it was a big thing.[6:29:31]   And they charged everyone 25 bucks to watch live.[6:29:34]   Guess what?[6:29:35]   You want to watch the replay.[6:29:37]   You got to spend another 25.[6:29:39]   That's exactly what we did.[6:29:41]   $50 in the Tony Hinchcliffe show, and hopefully it'll pull up for us here on Moment House.[6:29:50]   Here we go.[6:29:50]   We're in.[6:29:52]   Kill Tony live.[6:29:54]   And I'll show you how this thing opened.[6:29:56]   This was bad.[6:29:58]   This was bad.[6:29:58]   They Louis CK'd us.[6:30:00]   Remember Louis CK did his Madison Square Garden DVD.[6:30:04]   And it opened with some shitty jazz musician.[6:30:07]   Mark Ruppus and the, what did they call that guy?[6:30:11]   You always hear this guy's name.[6:30:12]   LJ Cool Flute.[6:30:14]   What do they call this guy?[6:30:16]   Cold Quest.[6:30:18]   What do they call this jazz guy?[6:30:20]   It made me sick.[6:30:20]   Louis Jazz Guy.[6:30:21]   It's like this name you've heard in jazz for your whole life here.[6:30:26]   Earn Heart.[6:30:27]   What is it?[6:30:27]   It's like something real bad.[6:30:30]   So everybody's waiting and people are waiting for about a good half hour or an hour just[6:30:34]   for the stream to open up.[6:30:35]   Right.[6:30:36]   Okay.[6:30:37]   So we've been in this pre-show mode for quite some time.[6:30:40]   And then the show finally opens up.[6:30:44]   Let's see what we have here.[6:30:46]   Okay.[6:30:46]   Yeah.[6:30:46]   There's a lot of this.[6:30:47]   I think if I remember a lot of it, yeah, I think.[6:30:51]   Oh yeah.[6:30:54]   Okay.[6:30:54]   So they opened the show.[6:30:56]   Here's how it opens just with clips of all the comedians that have passed away over the[6:31:02]   years on Kill Tony.[6:31:03]   So this one is the star show.[6:31:05]   Here's Bob Saget.[6:31:06]   So they're doing a Memorial at the start to celebrate their 10 years.[6:31:11]   Here's all the people who died on this cursed show from this show.[6:31:16]   Okay.[6:31:16]   So here's Bob Saget.[6:31:20]   They're barely showing him.[6:31:22]   They're featuring this.[6:31:24]   I think they are in a relationship.[6:31:26]   Perhaps here's Bob Saget.[6:31:27]   One another.[6:31:28]   Yeah, I think this is the clip they chose to memorialize Bob Saget's death.[6:31:35]   I don't think they could because of their stomachs.[6:31:39]   Who the fuck said that?[6:31:40]   Who the fuck said that?[6:31:41]   This is more of a William for eight years.[6:31:43]   Yeah.[6:31:44]   So here it is humiliating.[6:31:46]   Bob Saget, 1956 to January 9th, 2022.[6:31:51]   And then it goes on and you get, let's see who else do we have?[6:31:54]   Michael Loehr, of course.[6:31:56]   Uh oh, I'm not playing any of this.[6:31:58]   Screw this stuff.[6:31:59]   But that's what they did.[6:32:00]   They opened with this Memorial of all the guys that died, I think, ending with.[6:32:04]   And that rocked.[6:32:06]   And thank you.[6:32:08]   And it's like, this is so unfair.[6:32:10]   You told us he died.[6:32:13]   What's the point of him dying if he's on the damn show every week via clip?[6:32:18]   You told us he was dead.[6:32:21]   I can't stand it.[6:32:22]   It's like, the motherfucker won't die.[6:32:27]   This is just as bad as if he was alive.[6:32:30]   Why are you doing this to his kids?[6:32:32]   Very much.[6:32:33]   Michael motherfucking Loehr.[6:32:36]   Michael here to present you with, uh, with some amazing art.[6:32:44]   Look at John Deas.[6:32:45]   It's the great Colin Heaton, everybody.[6:32:47]   His own son is here, everybody.[6:32:50]   And then, so they're showing this clip.[6:32:54]   This is Michael Loehr and his son.[6:32:56]   He's got a dang sign.[6:32:58]   We didn't know that.[6:33:00]   I didn't know Michael had an adult son.[6:33:03]   That's fucked up, man.[6:33:05]   He left his son.[6:33:08]   That's fucked up.[6:33:09]   I didn't know.[6:33:10]   They're still showing this.[6:33:11]   And here's Michael Loehr's son saying goodbye to his dad who is electively killing himself.[6:33:17]   It doesn't get darker than this.[6:33:20]   Saying goodbye to his dad on the stage.[6:33:23]   It's not like Michael Loehr died by accident.[6:33:26]   They put him down.[6:33:29]   So his son during that period was saying goodbye to his dad on Kill Tony.[6:33:34]   Oh, really?[6:33:37]   Didn't mean it.[6:33:39]   All right.[6:33:39]   Let's see.[6:33:39]   So it says in memory of the killers we love the most.[6:33:43]   The kill-ees, you mean?[6:33:45]   The killed.[6:33:47]   In memory of the killer.[6:33:48]   It's like, why are you saying the word killers around a bunch of dead guys?[6:33:53]   Really?[6:33:53]   And Brody technically was a killer.[6:33:56]   They showed Brody Stevens in the opening who killed himself.[6:34:01]   The killers.[6:34:02]   Yeah.[6:34:02]   And Brody Stevens killed himself.[6:34:03]   Michael Loehr killed himself.[6:34:05]   Bob Saget killed himself.[6:34:09]   Oh, and then we thought this was going to be a countdown, but it's just saying 10 years[6:34:13]   killed Tony.[6:34:14]   So they did this in between the memorial and the show.[6:34:17]   It just does this.[6:34:19]   So remember, we're celebrating 10 years.[6:34:22]   So far, all we've seen with this hour wait is a bunch of dead guys.[6:34:27]   Okay.[6:34:27]   I think it's about to open.[6:34:28]   So we're all sitting there.[6:34:30]   We paid our money.[6:34:31]   We're really mad in the chat.[6:34:33]   There was no chat, but believe me, if there was, people would be.[6:34:38]   And they were in the red.[6:34:40]   John D's, it says.[6:34:42]   And it's showing a cartoon of a piano.[6:34:46]   And here's the stage.[6:34:47]   You see the theater?[6:34:49]   John D's, it says.[6:35:01]   There he is.[6:35:02]   The band leader, John D's on the Korg Kronos.[6:35:08]   He does this.[6:35:13]   This part actually seemed cool because we thought it was going to be an epic intro.[6:35:19]   And then Tony and Red Band were going to come out, but instead the band just played and[6:35:25]   jammed.[6:35:25]   So we're watching this going, this is going to be epic.[6:35:28]   The band's doing like this big intro.[6:35:30]   And then of course, yeah, we thought, yeah, here's the drummer's hit sound.[6:35:34]   And then we think as it crescendos that they're going to introduce Red Band.[6:35:39]   And Tony, no, that never happens.[6:35:42]   40 minutes of the band jamming is what ends up happening.[6:35:46]   Let's watch.[6:35:48]   Even Joke World didn't really like it.[6:35:50]   Joke World, the no blinker Joke World hated this.[6:35:55]   It seemed like the band performed endlessly.[6:35:59]   That's what he said.[6:36:00]   And he sucks up to this anniversary like no other.[6:36:07]   So yeah, you think it's going to get awesome.[6:36:09]   And it just keeps doing that for hours.[6:36:11]   And then it gets into this.[6:36:15]   I skipped.[6:36:15]   I have like 20 minutes.[6:36:25]   So you're watching.[6:36:26]   This is like 20 minutes in.[6:36:28]   Let's keep going here.[6:36:29]   I'll skip ahead another 10 minutes.[6:36:33]   They're just jamming.[6:36:35]   Funk band shitty jamming that you wouldn't want to hear for free at the carnival.[6:36:41]   Listen to this shit.[6:36:42]   I was going nuts.[6:36:45]   I was writing my bank.[6:36:51]   Over and over.[6:36:52]   Endless jamming.[6:36:56]   Skip.[6:36:57]   There's more.[6:36:59]   Just 20 minutes later.[6:37:06]   They cut to a shot of the crowd and the crowd was sitting there like this.[6:37:10]   Not one person even bobbing their head.[6:37:12]   I'm not kidding.[6:37:13]   Like they've been sitting there for two hours waiting for this show to start.[6:37:17]   Now they get to sit through this.[6:37:18]   We don't want to hear generic jazz.[6:37:23]   That's not a genre that people listen to.[6:37:26]   This is, uh, again, this is free music that you get.[6:37:30]   If the show starts at eight, then you do this from seven to eight.[6:37:35]   Exactly.[6:37:36]   While people are filing in.[6:37:37]   Yeah.[6:37:37]   You don't tell them it starts at eight and then they got to sit through an hour of this.[6:37:41]   This is how.[6:37:43]   And I like, they shot it with like 1990s cameras.[6:37:47]   Somehow like they're using like broadcast cameras, but from like 98.[6:37:52]   So it looks like we're watching something like almost on the news covering like a local jazz[6:37:59]   fest that's in town.[6:38:00]   And they do a long zoom of the guys on stage.[6:38:02]   This reminds me of when me and Mike walk around the neighborhood to see all the food trucks[6:38:07]   at the street fest at the end of the street.[6:38:09]   And then Mike walks past all the trucks and says how shitty they are.[6:38:12]   And then we don't get food.[6:38:14]   Exactly.[6:38:15]   Yeah.[6:38:15]   This is so shitty.[6:38:16]   It's like such a shitty fair that nobody is even in the band area.[6:38:21]   They're all by the Gravitron instead.[6:38:29]   It goes on and on.[6:38:31]   Skip ahead.[6:38:32]   Oh, new song.[6:38:37]   John D's on keys.[6:38:39]   Can you find what joke world said about this and that?[6:38:42]   Cause that might be really funny to play.[6:38:44]   So yeah, keeps going.[6:38:46]   John D's on keys.[6:38:48]   We know.[6:38:50]   Let me tell y'all some more about that later.[6:38:52]   I probably wasn't even supposed to do it, but I was so hyped.[6:38:54]   He starts talking.[6:38:55]   Cause they dope and we up here sweating in this shit.[6:38:58]   You know what I'm saying?[6:38:59]   So this is three hours in now.[6:39:01]   It's like a million degrees outside.[6:39:04]   The band's complaining about the heat.[6:39:05]   What's up?[6:39:06]   What you got?[6:39:06]   What you got, man?[6:39:07]   What you got's another just blatantly riffing now.[6:39:10]   Here's another song that starts with a riff.[6:39:14]   They're going to add to it.[6:39:17]   What you got Matt?[6:39:18]   This is what he's got.[6:39:19]   So now let's do this for 20 minutes.[6:39:26]   This ruins live sound stuff like this.[6:39:30]   It makes you think you hate live music.[6:39:33]   Cause it reminds you like you'll hear that tone from a live drum set,[6:39:38]   like on a Coachella set or like a live band that you actually like.[6:39:41]   And it'll make you start thinking you actually don't really dig this vibe[6:39:46]   because it's reminding you of the tone from these cheap live shows that we've all suffered through.[6:39:58]   Okay.[6:39:58]   So they do this.[6:39:59]   Let's see.[6:40:00]   Do they ever stop here?[6:40:03]   I'm almost halfway through this whole episode.[6:40:08]   This is three 40 in.[6:40:15]   Let's see some more.[6:40:19]   Okay.[6:40:20]   Are they getting closer to announcing the show?[6:40:24]   Let's see.[6:40:25]   Okay.[6:40:26]   There it was.[6:40:29]   Yeah, yeah, yeah.[6:40:30]   Let's see that.[6:40:31]   Here's joke world.[6:40:32]   Let's see what even joke world.[6:40:35]   And this is the guy I go to him for anything.[6:40:38]   As far as actual show, the live stream started off with an opening tribute to Bob Saget,[6:40:42]   Gilbert Gottfried, Brody Stevens, and Michael layer.[6:40:45]   Then the band played for about 30 minutes, which I'm sure was cool in person,[6:40:48]   but with all the anticipation building up on the live stream,[6:40:51]   it felt like they were on forever joke world, which might've been cool in person.[6:41:00]   You're getting cocky.[6:41:03]   But with all the anticipation building up on the live stream,[6:41:05]   it felt like they were on forever.[6:41:07]   Also, everyone had on these really cool jackets.[6:41:09]   I got to mention that part kill.[6:41:10]   Tony definitely did not disappoint with all the special guests that they had for this event.[6:41:14]   Yes, they did.[6:41:14]   Wait, let's see.[6:41:15]   We've got it all.[6:41:16]   We've got all the highlights here and there weren't many.[6:41:20]   Should we see the opening here?[6:41:21]   Where do they introduce our show?[6:41:23]   There's honestly not that many amazing highlights.[6:41:26]   My favorite part.[6:41:27]   If you want to be, are you looking for the long version of the show?[6:41:31]   I just want to introduce the guests so they can see.[6:41:33]   Okay.[6:41:33]   You can go to 46 45 then 46 45.[6:41:36]   Let's see who the big guests were.[6:41:38]   Wait till you see this.[6:41:39]   This is really great.[6:41:40]   And wait till you see what they look like.[6:41:42]   46 35 45.[6:41:46]   Yeah, 45.[6:41:47]   Okay, here we go.[6:41:49]   Watch this.[6:41:50]   Of our best friends, two of our favorite comedians.[6:41:54]   Let's see how loud this place can get for our guests tonight.[6:41:57]   Austin's own Tom Segura and Joe Rogan.[6:42:01]   Tom Segura and Joe Rogan, look at these assholes.[6:42:08]   Holy smokes.[6:42:09]   Let's fucking go.[6:42:13]   Look at them.[6:42:15]   Tom Segura, Joe Rogan.[6:42:20]   The Bald Brothers.[6:42:27]   Wow.[6:42:31]   Looks like such a Ghoulie.[6:42:37]   Oh my goodness.[6:42:40]   Okay.[6:42:40]   The Bald Brothers.[6:42:42]   Okay.[6:42:42]   Here wearing matching jackets, matching heads and chewing matching gum.[6:42:50]   We, you know, we've seen Joe Rogan do this before.[6:42:52]   We're going to show you this again.[6:42:54]   He sits there and he chews gum as if he's like a cow chewing straw throughout[6:42:59]   the whole show with his mouth wide open.[6:43:02]   So much so that time goes, give me a stick of that gum.[6:43:05]   And they start chewing together.[6:43:07]   The two bald testicle brothers and the matching coats start chewing in sync[6:43:13]   with each other.[6:43:14]   Tandem chewing.[6:43:16]   Wait till you see this.[6:43:19]   Oh yeah.[6:43:20]   And they barely say a word.[6:43:21]   Holy shit.[6:43:23]   Look at them.[6:43:24]   Dude, I was there in the belly room.[6:43:29]   He's drunk.[6:43:30]   50 people in the audience.[6:43:32]   To see you guys go from that to this is fucking amazing.[6:43:38]   This is incredible.[6:43:40]   This is the American dream.[6:43:42]   It really is.[6:43:42]   So that's about the most Joe talks during the entire episode.[6:43:46]   We're not kidding.[6:43:48]   He sits there silent, almost as if he took mushrooms again.[6:43:52]   And he just sits there like this, chewing his guy.[6:43:56]   I can't even imitate how he's chewing.[6:43:58]   That would hurt my jaw.[6:43:59]   It starts swelling up here.[6:44:00]   If I started trying to imitate that, we'll show you that.[6:44:02]   Do we have the gum chewing?[6:44:04]   Yeah, that's at one 42 30.[6:44:06]   One 42 30.[6:44:08]   Look at this.[6:44:09]   You're not going to like this at all.[6:44:11]   And it's so disrespectful to Tony and the gang.[6:44:14]   Wait, stop at this part for a second.[6:44:16]   One 18.[6:44:17]   And just look how bored and shitty they all look.[6:44:21]   Yeah, look at this.[6:44:23]   Joe wasn't paying attention.[6:44:27]   This is Joe.[6:44:28]   My kind of retard.[6:44:32]   All right, let's talk about it.[6:44:34]   Jared, the fucking man.[6:44:35]   All he sat there like this all night.[6:44:37]   Living your pro wrestling dreams.[6:44:39]   How did that feel?[6:44:40]   Fucking amazing.[6:44:46]   Fucking amazing.[6:44:48]   Look at that.[6:44:48]   Thank you, Tony, for this experience.[6:44:51]   Joe and Tom.[6:44:54]   Joe hates retards.[6:45:00]   He's smiling.[6:45:02]   Papa's still alive.[6:45:05]   Papa's still alive.[6:45:12]   Jared, Nathan, you are.[6:45:14]   They did this the whole time.[6:45:16]   This is all they did.[6:45:18]   This is all they did.[6:45:19]   What else are you good at?[6:45:20]   I mean, if you were Tony, wouldn't you be so.[6:45:25]   Look how stupid.[6:45:27]   You're a Special Olympics athlete.[6:45:29]   Look at them.[6:45:30]   What sport?[6:45:32]   And I just remembered at the beginning of the show, Tony was like.[6:45:36]   To make all those people who didn't buy the live stream regret it.[6:45:39]   Why don't we make this the best fucking episode ever?[6:45:43]   Right, guys?[6:45:43]   And everyone went like, oh, and then Joe and Tom here.[6:45:47]   We'll just sit here.[6:45:48]   We'll just sit here.[6:45:48]   And they didn't say anything.[6:45:50]   I mean, even joke world said it seemed like Tom and Joe had nothing to say.[6:45:54]   But it was cool that they were there.[6:45:56]   That's what he said.[6:45:58]   Yeah, let's show that gum chewing.[6:46:00]   Go to 142 30.[6:46:02]   142 30.[6:46:04]   I'm getting old here.[6:46:05]   This player is hard to maneuver.[6:46:08]   This is tough here.[6:46:08]   142 30.[6:46:11]   Look at this.[6:46:12]   And keep your eye on Joe and Tom as they chew gum together.[6:46:15]   They did this all night.[6:46:18]   All right, Austin Perkins.[6:46:21]   Hello.[6:46:21]   How are you?[6:46:22]   I'm great.[6:46:23]   Okay.[6:46:24]   Look at them to be here.[6:46:25]   Both chewing gum like the energies of someone that's lying right now.[6:46:30]   You feel like a little.[6:46:32]   If I shook my leg with that distract away from it.[6:46:35]   Now you see what I mean?[6:46:37]   You hear the noise that they're making.[6:46:39]   Look at them.[6:46:39]   How long have you been doing stand up Austin?[6:46:41]   About two years.[6:46:43]   What are they chewing?[6:46:44]   Okay.[6:46:44]   All of it here in Austin.[6:46:46]   Nope.[6:46:46]   Jacksonville, Gainesville, Florida.[6:46:48]   Orlando.[6:46:49]   Actually, no cam from Florida.[6:46:51]   Wow.[6:46:51]   Incredible.[6:46:52]   Okay.[6:46:53]   You ever trade?[6:46:54]   We're just watching Tom and Joe chew.[6:46:56]   Unfortunately not.[6:46:58]   What do you do for work?[6:47:00]   I'm in sales, but I moved to Austin with a dream of starting a great stand up comedy show.[6:47:06]   What are they doing?[6:47:06]   What's the show?[6:47:08]   Dunce Cat Comedy.[6:47:08]   What if they both swapped?[6:47:10]   They both took out their piece and then grabbed the other guy's piece and just continued.[6:47:15]   I can see them doing that.[6:47:16]   I bring a drummer.[6:47:17]   I try to book really awesome comedians.[6:47:20]   I throw stuff into the audience for free merch.[6:47:23]   Like what?[6:47:23]   What do you throw at them?[6:47:24]   A little ball, like ball capsules.[6:47:26]   Someone should sell a stream of just this.[6:47:28]   A close up of Joe.[6:47:29]   Just to make it fun.[6:47:30]   This was literally the best.[6:47:31]   The only time I got excited when I saw them both chewing.[6:47:35]   Yeah.[6:47:35]   This should be on the screen framed just like this on every screen of the comedy mothership[6:47:40]   and loop of these two balls eating gum.[6:47:44]   I don't know what they need gum for.[6:47:46]   And imagine if somebody was chewing gum like that on Joe Rogan's podcast.[6:47:49]   He wouldn't be.[6:47:50]   He'd be like, what is going on?[6:47:53]   Did you want to see the Theo part?[6:47:54]   Yeah, this was really strange.[6:47:56]   Here's another one of the strange highlights.[6:47:59]   13930.[6:48:00]   13930.[6:48:02]   Theo Vaughn comes out.[6:48:05]   13930.[6:48:06]   This is really weird.[6:48:09]   There was Ron White.[6:48:10]   I hate him.[6:48:12]   13930.[6:48:13]   Sorry.[6:48:13]   This is very hard for me to see.[6:48:15]   Okay.[6:48:16]   Check this out.[6:48:17]   Oh, I hope we're there.[6:48:20]   Yeah, it should be great.[6:48:21]   Okay.[6:48:21]   Look at this.[6:48:22]   Patterson cam with a K.[6:48:27]   Hey, you guys want to do something cool real quick?[6:48:29]   Huh?[6:48:31]   Watch it.[6:48:31]   Something cool.[6:48:33]   One of the great friends of the show.[6:48:36]   Theo Vaughn.[6:48:37]   And they go nuts.[6:48:39]   He's the biggest thing in their world.[6:48:40]   This is great.[6:48:41]   We're getting a set from the end.[6:48:42]   So here's Theo Vaughn.[6:48:43]   He's going to do some comedy, right?[6:48:46]   This is worth the money.[6:48:47]   So what is Theo going to do?[6:48:49]   Special guest.[6:48:50]   Here's Theo.[6:48:51]   He's hugging everybody.[6:48:52]   Everybody's going nuts.[6:48:53]   Standing ovation for the top comedy star in the world right now.[6:48:58]   Theo Vaughn.[6:49:00]   Watch what he does.[6:49:01]   Good to see you guys this evening.[6:49:03]   I'm grateful to be in your city.[6:49:05]   Grateful to be welcomed here.[6:49:07]   Okay, so I hear this.[6:49:09]   I go, oh, Theo's going to announce he's moving to Austin now.[6:49:14]   Hear a lot, right?[6:49:15]   That's got to be what this is about.[6:49:17]   Well, let's see what happens here.[6:49:23]   Yeah, congratulations, Tony.[6:49:26]   On having one of the most creative shows in the entire world.[6:49:29]   It is so much fun.[6:49:31]   Thank you, brother.[6:49:34]   And all of you men at that table.[6:49:36]   Thank you guys all for just being brave and making it awesome here in this awesome.[6:49:41]   Look at you.[6:49:41]   And great to see you guys tonight.[6:49:43]   Thank you.[6:49:43]   We love you.[6:49:47]   Hopefully we're trying future Austin resident one more time.[6:49:53]   I've got a big surprise for everybody.[6:49:55]   Make some noise for Theo Vaughn.[6:49:58]   Saying hi only.[6:50:02]   Thank you so much for recognizing me.[6:50:05]   Goodbye.[6:50:07]   What?[6:50:08]   That was absurd.[6:50:11]   Can anyone explain that?[6:50:13]   Why that happened?[6:50:15]   Let's show the city.[6:50:16]   We know Theo Vaughn, the fastest rising TikTok.[6:50:19]   Is that all it was?[6:50:20]   I guess.[6:50:22]   That was really bizarre.[6:50:23]   When you see it like that.[6:50:25]   I mean, people in the chatter go, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.[6:50:28]   That's it.[6:50:29]   Hi.[6:50:29]   Thank you.[6:50:31]   Good to see you guys this evening.[6:50:33]   I'm grateful to be in your city.[6:50:36]   Grateful to be welcomed here.[6:50:42]   Yeah.[6:50:42]   Congratulations, Tony on having one of the most creative shows in the entire world.[6:50:48]   It is so much fun.[6:50:50]   Thank you, brother.[6:50:53]   And all of you men at that table.[6:50:54]   Thank you guys all for just being brave and making something new and awesome here in this[6:50:59]   great city and grateful to see you guys tonight.[6:51:02]   Thank you.[6:51:02]   We love you.[6:51:04]   One of the greats in comedy.[6:51:06]   Hopefully we're trying future Austin resident.[6:51:10]   One more time for Theo Vaughn, everybody, huh?[6:51:18]   All right.[6:51:19]   Wow.[6:51:19]   Okay.[6:51:20]   I don't know if this person knows this balcony.[6:51:23]   This jazz soundtrack and this camera quality, it's very off-putting.[6:51:28]   All right.[6:51:28]   Did we have anything else from this?[6:51:29]   Honestly, that's about it.[6:51:32]   There was a stupid thing where they tried to make Hans Kim fight.[6:51:36]   It was nothing.[6:51:37]   I mean, those are really the highlights of the show.[6:51:39]   Other than that, it was just a normal episode of kill Tony, but really boring,[6:51:43]   really boring.[6:51:45]   We looked back in the Reddit chat that they had.[6:51:48]   They did not allow a moment chat, but we looked back on Reddit.[6:51:51]   They were all saying the show was terrible, terrible, terrible, terrible.[6:51:55]   This is a real let down.[6:51:58]   All the things you heard us say about why is Joe not saying anything?[6:52:01]   Why is he chewing gum?[6:52:03]   Why did they just introduce Theo like that?[6:52:05]   So people were left pretty upset.[6:52:08]   I would say file a charge back with your bank.[6:52:11]   Now on new year's Eve, kill Tony does have a huge arena show happening.[6:52:16]   Kill Tony will be doing an arena.[6:52:18]   Their first arena.[6:52:19]   This is in Austin on new year's Eve.[6:52:22]   Let us know if you want to go.[6:52:24]   All right.[6:52:24]   We'll take a break.[6:52:25]   We'll be right back in just a second.[6:52:27]   Okay.[6:52:28]   Hang tight.[6:52:30]   Listen to some music and we'll see you very soon.[6:52:34]   We'll be right back.[6:52:59]   We'll be right back.[6:53:29]   Hey.[6:53:59]   Yeah, come on, let's go![6:54:10]   Yeah, come on, let's go![6:54:29]   Yeah, come on, let's go![6:54:59]   Make the sound, bring me up, please.[6:55:15]   To a wonderful red bar.[6:55:25]   Play that shit out.[6:55:28]   Make it out![6:55:33]   Thank you.[6:55:57]   Thank you.[6:56:11]   Thank you.[6:56:27]   Thank you.[6:56:30]   Thank you.[6:56:57]   Here's a road[6:57:00]   Against a gazely stare[6:57:04]   We walked a million miles[6:57:08]   I must have died alone[6:57:12]   A long, long time ago[6:57:18]   Who knows?[6:57:20]   Not me[6:57:22]   I've never lost control[6:57:26]   You face[6:57:28]   Sit face[6:57:30]   With a man who stole the world[6:57:40]   Who knows?[6:57:42]   Not me[6:57:44]   I've never lost control[6:57:48]   You face[6:57:50]   Sit face[6:57:52]   With a man who stole the world[6:57:56]   Another hit show, Jules.[6:57:58]   Good night![6:58:02]   Thank you![6:58:05]   Good night![6:58:14]   Peter, Peter, Peter, Peter, Peter, Peter, Peter, Peter![6:58:20]   Peter, Peter, Peter, Peter, Peter, Peter![6:58:33]   Thank you.[6:58:49]   Woo![6:58:54]   That was a good show.[6:58:56]   Thank you!