episode: RED BAR RADIO S20 E29
mentions
transcript
[0:00:00] Long, long, long time[0:00:02] Since we had a nice time[0:00:05] Do you just feel it?[0:00:09] Holy...[0:00:30] Long, long, long time[0:00:32] Long, long, long, long time[0:00:58] There we go[0:01:02] And now you're under my control[0:01:33] Now we're going[0:01:36] Oh well[0:01:40] Alright, alright[0:01:42] Give me some eyes please[0:01:44] Let's shoo the elephant[0:01:46] From the room[0:01:48] What the hell happened to his face?[0:01:51] Did he schedule a nose and eye job[0:01:54] Then decide to bail before the surgeon[0:01:56] Finished the other half?[0:01:59] I was attacked[0:02:02] Thank you[0:02:03] Thank you all[0:02:04] I'm fine really[0:02:06] I'm fine[0:02:07] You should have seen the other guy[0:02:09] Alright, alright[0:02:10] Thank you so much[0:02:11] Yes[0:02:12] Alright, second movement[0:02:13] Let's take the transition[0:02:14] Fire[0:02:15] 406[0:02:16] Thank you[0:02:18] Good boy[0:02:21] Ah[0:02:22] This is so nice to be back[0:02:24] And thank you all for being so supportive[0:02:26] While I was gone for over three weeks[0:02:30] We got some jewels in the house[0:02:32] What's up, what's up?[0:02:33] Jewels in the house[0:02:35] This is going to be a very difficult podcast to do[0:02:38] God is with you[0:02:40] They said to me[0:02:41] I've been getting these all[0:02:42] I mean look at this place[0:02:44] Stuffed to the brim with flowers[0:02:46] They're dying[0:02:47] I'm running to find vases[0:02:49] And put these things in water here[0:02:51] This couldn't be nicer[0:02:52] Let's read some of these cards[0:02:53] Step by step one day at a time[0:02:55] Of course I was very sick[0:02:58] Again hang in there[0:03:00] None of these cards have any[0:03:03] You know, thank you Mike[0:03:04] I love you nothing[0:03:05] These are just stock[0:03:06] No envelopes[0:03:08] Thank you guys so much for your support[0:03:10] I actually[0:03:12] I got this[0:03:13] It's actually very embarrassing[0:03:15] I caught[0:03:17] I caught[0:03:18] And now here I'll tell you this[0:03:19] I am now[0:03:20] I'll start with this[0:03:21] I am now[0:03:22] Immune[0:03:24] What is he immune to?[0:03:26] They ask[0:03:28] COVID-19[0:03:30] I got[0:03:33] As an unvaccinated man[0:03:35] I'll admit that today[0:03:36] I am[0:03:37] Unvaccinated[0:03:38] Thank you[0:03:39] I just[0:03:40] I didn't think[0:03:42] Being vaccinated for COVID[0:03:44] Was cool[0:03:46] I just[0:03:47] I thought it was gay[0:03:48] It sounded gay[0:03:49] I'm not on the side of those guys[0:03:51] Who hate the vax[0:03:52] Hey Jules how are you?[0:03:53] Hey[0:03:54] You're looking good today[0:03:55] I'm not on the side[0:03:56] Of the people that are against being vaxed[0:03:59] I actually am not vaxed for my own personal reasons[0:04:02] And I just found it to be a little bit gay[0:04:05] So I learned the hard way[0:04:07] After the Taylor Swift concert[0:04:10] In Glendale[0:04:12] We were there opening night of the tour[0:04:16] And as soon as we got home[0:04:19] And this was great[0:04:21] We went to Glendale, Illinois[0:04:23] Or wherever that was[0:04:25] We spent our time there[0:04:26] We rented a beautiful Airbnb[0:04:28] Everything was fine[0:04:29] Me and her sisters[0:04:31] Experiencing love[0:04:34] And then[0:04:35] I came home[0:04:37] And then everybody started getting sick[0:04:39] She started getting sick[0:04:40] Her sister calls[0:04:41] She's sick[0:04:43] And then I started getting very sick[0:04:45] And because of all my health problems[0:04:48] It got worse and worse[0:04:50] And worse[0:04:52] And I nearly died[0:04:54] Thank you so much for all these gifts here[0:04:57] Let's clear this crap out of it[0:05:00] Ready for the show[0:05:02] How are you Jules?[0:05:04] You loved that Taylor concert[0:05:06] It was the best day of my life[0:05:08] I can't even really live after being there[0:05:11] It was really good[0:05:14] We're going to give you a full recap of that[0:05:17] You look great in the merch[0:05:19] You got Al's arrows there[0:05:22] This is almost clean here[0:05:26] There we go[0:05:27] Now we're back[0:05:28] Yeah, I went to the Aries tour[0:05:30] They're calling you Hella Sick Harley[0:05:32] VIP[0:05:34] Look at that[0:05:38] You guys want to see what's in the Taylor Swift Aries tour VIP box?[0:05:42] Don't destroy anything[0:05:43] This concert, I'll tell you this[0:05:44] This concert brought me nothing but grief[0:05:48] Since signing up for it many months ago[0:05:50] After we got our verified fan account[0:05:53] We were VIP[0:05:54] Of course I didn't wear this around my neck[0:05:56] I was going to wear this around my neck today[0:05:58] But I made a rule a long time ago about lanyards[0:06:01] You know who wears lanyards, Jules?[0:06:03] People who work at the event[0:06:05] I don't work at the event[0:06:06] I am a client of the event[0:06:08] I'm a very special person[0:06:10] I keep this in my pocket there[0:06:12] This didn't really work for the show[0:06:14] We got to save this stuff[0:06:15] That's coming up today[0:06:16] But more importantly coming up today[0:06:20] We find out[0:06:21] And nobody's got this scoop[0:06:22] I'm the only one who's got this scoop[0:06:24] We find out[0:06:25] If Bobby Lee's Tijuana story[0:06:29] Is real or a lie[0:06:32] We're going to find out here today[0:06:34] I've got the proof[0:06:35] I've got the truth[0:06:36] And the truth is on my side[0:06:38] Thank you all for your patience here[0:06:40] I was actually very very very very very sick[0:06:44] When I get sick[0:06:46] I can't tell people I'm sick[0:06:48] There's nothing that feels more disgraceful[0:06:52] And pathetic[0:06:54] Than saying I'm sick[0:06:56] So if I'm not here[0:06:58] Just imagine the worst[0:07:00] Because I'm never going to post[0:07:02] I'm sick[0:07:03] Here's me in the hospital[0:07:04] Here's proof[0:07:05] And I like to come back[0:07:07] With all that in the past[0:07:09] So the good thing about me being sick[0:07:11] That's all over[0:07:12] That's all gone[0:07:13] So you didn't have to sit through[0:07:15] You should have seen me[0:07:16] We came in here last week to try[0:07:18] I thought this thing was over[0:07:20] We came in here last week[0:07:21] I was sitting in here in makeup[0:07:22] And the woman goes[0:07:23] You can't[0:07:24] You don't look good[0:07:26] You know she says to me[0:07:27] The woman who does my hair and makeup[0:07:28] She says[0:07:29] You don't look good today[0:07:30] And I was freezing[0:07:31] I came in here[0:07:32] We had it all set up[0:07:33] We didn't do the get well stuff[0:07:35] Because it was a week ago[0:07:36] We thought we didn't need to really[0:07:37] Butter you up with all those flowers[0:07:39] So I sat here[0:07:41] And I put the headphones in[0:07:42] And we had this whole thing[0:07:44] And we were ready to do the show[0:07:45] And Cameron was sitting there[0:07:46] And we're going[0:07:47] And right before we went live[0:07:49] I go[0:07:50] Jules I can't do it[0:07:51] I can't do it[0:07:52] I gotta go home[0:07:53] I'm too sick[0:07:55] And then I stayed in bed[0:07:56] For about another week[0:07:57] Recovering[0:07:58] But now I feel great[0:07:59] And again that's all behind us[0:08:00] This intro thing I was reading[0:08:02] Is from the 2002 drama musical Tar[0:08:06] You guys seen Tar?[0:08:08] I'm obsessed with this woman, Tar[0:08:11] Same[0:08:12] Explain to the audience[0:08:13] What Tar is[0:08:14] It's a great movie[0:08:15] Featuring Tar[0:08:16] It's a movie[0:08:17] Go see it[0:08:18] She had this thing[0:08:19] Where she lied to her students[0:08:22] And she was missing[0:08:23] And she came back[0:08:24] She said she was attacked[0:08:25] She really just fell[0:08:27] Spoiler alert[0:08:28] I love Tar[0:08:29] I've seen half of the movie[0:08:30] Nobody recognized Tar[0:08:32] And everyone accused you[0:08:33] Of reading an AI script[0:08:35] Ooh[0:08:36] Ooh[0:08:37] That is good[0:08:38] I'm glad somebody brought that up[0:08:39] AI makes us sick[0:08:41] We will not be[0:08:42] Just like Rutbar[0:08:43] Just like Rutbar doesn't participate in ads[0:08:46] And super chats[0:08:47] And uh[0:08:49] And has text all over this screen[0:08:51] And chats all over this screen[0:08:53] And people chiming in everywhere[0:08:55] And little twitch sounds that pop up[0:08:58] AI is right up there with all that crap[0:09:01] And I vow[0:09:03] From this day forward[0:09:05] To uh[0:09:07] Not recognize AI[0:09:09] As something that exists[0:09:11] Sorry[0:09:12] It's not[0:09:13] I gave it a look[0:09:14] I don't like it[0:09:15] I don't like people playing with AI[0:09:17] I don't like uh[0:09:18] Tune into H3[0:09:19] H3[0:09:20] One of my favorite shows with the Kleins[0:09:22] And uh[0:09:24] They will eat up two hours a day[0:09:27] Playing with chat[0:09:28] GPT[0:09:29] And AI[0:09:30] And it's so funny[0:09:31] And ha ha ha[0:09:32] And believe me[0:09:33] People are using this AI now[0:09:35] To write stuff[0:09:36] They're using it to get their thumbnails made[0:09:38] They're using it for this and that[0:09:40] I don't use things[0:09:41] I can't believe that[0:09:42] I want you to go more old school here[0:09:43] If we can[0:09:44] They thought the AI could write a script as perfect as tar[0:09:47] Want me to reread the script?[0:09:48] Do it[0:09:49] Alright, give me some eyes please[0:09:51] This is her in the um[0:09:53] In the conduct[0:09:54] She's a conductor[0:09:55] So she's just saying all this[0:09:57] Just tar stuff[0:09:58] You guys don't really[0:09:59] Oh my god you should make a shirt[0:10:01] That is the exact same one you're wearing now[0:10:03] But it's all different tars[0:10:05] And it says the era's tar[0:10:07] The era's tar[0:10:08] That would be very[0:10:09] Remind me to get this garbage[0:10:10] Can out of here[0:10:11] I can't lift it[0:10:12] It's way too heavy[0:10:13] With all the flowers in the ceiling[0:10:14] I don't break my fucking arms[0:10:16] We're back[0:10:17] We went to the Taylor Swift concert[0:10:19] Um[0:10:20] It was amazing for her[0:10:21] Uh[0:10:22] I'll tell you[0:10:24] Um[0:10:25] This was a big concert[0:10:26] This was a very expensive concert[0:10:27] Not to me[0:10:28] But to all the other people whining[0:10:30] About going there[0:10:31] To me[0:10:32] Uh[0:10:33] You know how expensive could it be?[0:10:34] And we got[0:10:35] They sent us these beautiful um[0:10:37] VIP boxes[0:10:39] For Taylor[0:10:40] I'll show you what's inside[0:10:41] This was the ticket[0:10:42] And you had to bring this to the concert[0:10:44] Or they wouldn't let you in[0:10:45] So we're all carrying around these giant boxes[0:10:47] You've got posters[0:10:48] A tote[0:10:50] And my favorite[0:10:51] Here's my favorite[0:10:52] And I'll make this very short[0:10:54] Don't destroy my postcard[0:10:56] Oh yeah cause we only got[0:10:57] No we each got one of these[0:10:58] You get a pin[0:10:59] I'm not going to destroy this stuff[0:11:01] Cause she really[0:11:02] This has taken over her life[0:11:04] Anybody out there have a girlfriend[0:11:06] Or a wife or a daughter who has been[0:11:08] Here's my favorite[0:11:09] The ticket[0:11:10] The real ticket[0:11:12] Proof that I went[0:11:14] And uh[0:11:15] You know Jules is a huge[0:11:16] Taylor Swift fan all of a sudden[0:11:18] I don't know what Taylor Swift has done[0:11:20] To these girls[0:11:21] But she hit them right at the right time[0:11:24] It's almost as if[0:11:25] Every girl has been abandoned[0:11:28] And they're so hurt by[0:11:29] What Andrew Tate did to them[0:11:31] That they need a female role model[0:11:33] Amy Schumer wasn't good enough for them[0:11:36] So they shooed her away[0:11:37] They shooed her away[0:11:38] And they all[0:11:39] All of a sudden[0:11:40] You know nobody cared about this Taylor Swift[0:11:42] When she came out with[0:11:43] I'd be the man[0:11:45] I'd be the man[0:11:46] Things would be hotter[0:11:47] If I was cuter[0:11:48] I'd be the man[0:11:49] Remember that song?[0:11:50] Of course[0:11:51] We thought she was done[0:11:52] She came out with an album called[0:11:54] Lover a few years ago[0:11:55] Before Kavitica came out[0:11:57] And uh[0:11:59] It had these terrible songs like[0:12:00] The Man[0:12:01] Remember and she dressed up[0:12:03] As a man in the music video[0:12:04] Because men have it so good[0:12:06] And she has it so bad[0:12:07] Didn't the man grow on you though?[0:12:08] No[0:12:09] So I hated the man[0:12:10] And then she came out with[0:12:11] This other song that was really terrible[0:12:13] See I thought she was over[0:12:15] She came out with this song called[0:12:17] You Need to Calm Down[0:12:19] And it was about[0:12:21] People who hate gay people[0:12:22] Me[0:12:23] And the song goes[0:12:25] You need to calm down[0:12:27] You're being too loud[0:12:29] Uh oh, uh oh, uh oh, uh oh, uh oh[0:12:33] You heard that one?[0:12:35] And to me we were done with it[0:12:36] We were both done with her[0:12:37] We thought she'd become[0:12:39] Meghan Trainor[0:12:40] We thought she'd become one of the woke[0:12:42] She goes away and then all of a sudden[0:12:44] Something happened[0:12:45] Where she before this[0:12:47] Midnight's album comes out[0:12:49] And every girl in the world[0:12:51] Is all of a sudden[0:12:53] You know[0:12:54] People who claimed they were just[0:12:56] Regular fans[0:12:57] They're all of a sudden[0:12:59] They would lay in front of a train track[0:13:01] For Taylor Swift[0:13:02] My wife Jules here included[0:13:04] And I don't know how this happened[0:13:06] But you know what?[0:13:08] You don't make fun[0:13:10] You let people have their heroes[0:13:12] Our heroes are gone right Kanye West[0:13:14] He's abandoned us[0:13:16] Remember that?[0:13:17] He was the only music for guys[0:13:19] Guys have no more music left[0:13:22] So what does a guy[0:13:24] Listen to except his wife's music[0:13:27] That's all we could do[0:13:28] Now I thought[0:13:29] I liked[0:13:31] This fine[0:13:33] I go okay she loves this[0:13:35] It's fine whatever[0:13:36] I go to the concert[0:13:37] I learned a whole other thing[0:13:39] About if I like this or not[0:13:41] I'll tell you about that later[0:13:43] Do I still like her?[0:13:45] Or do I think she's a money-grubbing[0:13:47] Thief[0:13:49] With a bunch of fat cow fans[0:13:51] Biggest[0:13:52] What did I?[0:13:53] Started calling them all?[0:13:54] I started calling them[0:13:55] You know this concert[0:13:56] I'll tell you this[0:13:57] Is it very hard to get to this concert[0:13:59] There was no men there[0:14:01] Not one man[0:14:03] I was probably the only[0:14:05] Straight[0:14:07] Guy at the concert[0:14:09] There were however[0:14:11] Thousands upon millions of[0:14:13] Boom bodies[0:14:15] And that is[0:14:17] I went full Peter Griffin[0:14:19] The whole concert[0:14:21] And uh[0:14:23] I became[0:14:25] I took an interest in[0:14:26] Documenting boom bodies[0:14:27] Now it's a boom body of[0:14:29] Fatty boom baddy[0:14:31] Fatty boom baddy[0:14:33] And I called them[0:14:35] Boom baddies because[0:14:37] They're so[0:14:39] You should have seen these women man[0:14:41] These nerds this is what the H3 fan base[0:14:43] Must look like and guess what[0:14:45] I took pictures of hundreds[0:14:47] Of that so I'll have those for you later today[0:14:49] That'll be coming up[0:14:51] I'll show you the boom baddies[0:14:53] You won't believe the size of these women so[0:14:55] It might be a boom baddy[0:14:57] Strain which might be why[0:14:59] It was so harsh on me I was surrounded[0:15:01] By thousands of morbid[0:15:03] Leo B I mean really[0:15:05] When you see these women maybe I could show you a quick one[0:15:07] Right now here on the close up cam[0:15:09] You never[0:15:11] Want to reveal your phone screen because the pictures[0:15:13] Like right now I got a picture[0:15:15] Of a bunch of hollow points[0:15:17] 380[0:15:19] Federal premium[0:15:21] Hollow point 99 grain[0:15:23] Personal defense[0:15:25] What do I use those for huh?[0:15:27] And how many can fit in one gun[0:15:29] People are saying[0:15:31] Taylor Swift fans give good head[0:15:33] No no no there was not even[0:15:35] A hot chick in sight[0:15:37] They were all boom baddies let me show you my favorite[0:15:39] Boom baddy this one just came out so good[0:15:41] Cut to my close up cam[0:15:43] Look at that[0:15:45] She was sitting right next to[0:15:47] Oh yeah floor sheets by the way[0:15:49] We were on the floor I was sitting next to this big one[0:15:51] I had the aisle by the way[0:15:53] Which was nice I had the whole[0:15:55] Aisle so I had the whole aisle to myself[0:15:57] The security was a joke[0:15:59] They must have known that only boom baddies[0:16:01] Were coming and they hired like bullshit[0:16:03] Female security that didn't even[0:16:05] Push anyone away[0:16:07] I had two boom baddies you could cut back[0:16:09] You were basically the security[0:16:11] I'm in the aisle yeah I was the security of this show[0:16:13] I was in the aisle[0:16:15] And right as the show starts[0:16:17] You know and I[0:16:19] I bought this aisle specifically[0:16:21] Like I went above[0:16:23] And beyond to get this aisle so that[0:16:25] I didn't have anyone next to me and I get Jules[0:16:27] And her sister next to me here[0:16:29] The show starts[0:16:31] And two boom baddies[0:16:33] Run up and they[0:16:35] They step into my area[0:16:37] I go and I'm missing the whole[0:16:39] Opening of the concert[0:16:41] The concert just starts the boom baddies are on[0:16:43] I start screaming at the boom baddies and they're crying[0:16:45] And holding their phones and I'm going[0:16:47] I just got to get the hell out of here this is my spot[0:16:49] And I waved security[0:16:51] I missed the whole first ten minutes of the show[0:16:53] Arguing with these people[0:16:55] I was so mad[0:16:57] That I couldn't enjoy the rest of the show[0:16:59] And I was very tired[0:17:01] Taylor decided to perform for three[0:17:03] And a half hours[0:17:05] After making us watch eight hours of[0:17:07] Paramore[0:17:09] And then we had to get there at two[0:17:11] Wait wait wait want to hear a joke that I came up with?[0:17:13] Sure yeah I'd love to[0:17:15] What is a Proud Boys[0:17:17] Favorite band?[0:17:19] I don't know what would the answer be there?[0:17:21] Fred Paramore[0:17:25] Thank you[0:17:27] Isn't that fun[0:17:29] So I believe[0:17:31] Yes I got a boom baddie strain[0:17:33] And that is why I got so sick[0:17:35] Because I actually got a strain of COVID[0:17:37] That was meant to take down an elephant sized[0:17:39] Woman and then it attacked[0:17:41] Me I only weigh 120[0:17:43] So[0:17:45] Kilos[0:17:47] Pounds[0:17:49] So yeah it really[0:17:51] It really killed me[0:17:53] And I was so mad[0:17:55] I didn't get to work out for[0:17:57] 11 days[0:17:59] I had to stop my working out[0:18:01] I was trying to work out while sick a bunch of times[0:18:03] Which I think made me more sick[0:18:05] I was just so afraid to lose these gains[0:18:07] And I've lost them all[0:18:09] Now I'm back to 116[0:18:11] Pounds[0:18:13] And I feel awful I feel very sick[0:18:15] Just kidding I feel great[0:18:17] And I'm very happy to be back here[0:18:19] What was your favorite song at the concert[0:18:21] Probably The Man[0:18:23] Or Calm Down[0:18:25] Does anyone else have any questions[0:18:27] About my favorite songs from the concert[0:18:29] It was The Man[0:18:31] I hate this song The Man[0:18:33] And by the way everybody dressed up to go to the concert[0:18:35] You had to dress up as one of her famous outfits[0:18:37] And everybody kept telling me[0:18:39] You gotta go as The Man[0:18:41] I go why cause I'm a man[0:18:43] No I'm not going[0:18:45] And he kept on saying that he was gonna wear a Kanye shirt[0:18:47] To the concert to see what happened[0:18:49] And thank god he didn't cause some other guy[0:18:51] Wore a Kanye shirt to the concert[0:18:53] And everyone is attacking him online[0:18:55] They're attacking him online[0:18:57] Um okay yeah they really are[0:18:59] I was gonna wear a shirt that said[0:19:01] Taylor was better when she had that eating disorder[0:19:03] She looked so fat[0:19:05] I wanted to have a bunch of shirts like that[0:19:07] Cause these fans they're much too[0:19:09] Much too much[0:19:11] What happened to all those[0:19:13] Oh yeah you know what[0:19:15] I was gonna do this thank you for the teddy bear[0:19:17] I totally forgot[0:19:19] I was gonna do this[0:19:21] I wasn't gonna just throw everything away[0:19:23] I was gonna do this[0:19:25] Give them some excitement[0:19:27] And while I was casually talking I was gonna go[0:19:29] And gut the bear like this[0:19:31] Which actually worked pretty good[0:19:33] And then I was gonna keep talking[0:19:35] Be casual while gutting the bear[0:19:37] And stuff[0:19:39] Those weren't real gifts that I got from people[0:19:41] That's from Albertsons[0:19:43] Down the street I ran and got all that stuff[0:19:45] For you guys[0:19:47] Two days ago the flowers have been sitting here forever[0:19:49] The flowers behind me are all decaying[0:19:51] So[0:19:53] We've got a big show today believe it or not[0:19:55] We're going to be giving away[0:19:57] Two thousand[0:19:59] Real dollars[0:20:01] Two thousand dollars cash being given away today[0:20:03] For two different contests[0:20:05] We've got the red bars watching sticker contest[0:20:07] The winner of that is going to get a thousand bucks[0:20:09] Cash[0:20:11] No questions asked[0:20:13] And then we've got the light news[0:20:15] Theme song contest[0:20:17] And the winner of that is gonna get[0:20:19] A thousand dollars[0:20:21] Pretty good huh[0:20:23] We also might be giving away Beyonce tickets[0:20:25] We might be giving[0:20:27] Oh yes we're giving I'm announcing it now[0:20:29] We're giving away Beyonce[0:20:31] Beyonce tickets[0:20:33] Because I bought them and now Mike is[0:20:35] Scared to go to another stadium[0:20:37] I'm not going to no more concerts[0:20:39] And here's how one of Jules'[0:20:41] Little trips works[0:20:43] The week before is[0:20:45] Me having to do a thousand[0:20:47] Things to get the house in order[0:20:49] For her guests, get the car cleaned[0:20:51] Make sure we have[0:20:53] All new clothes, haircuts[0:20:55] And all that so the week prior[0:20:57] Is shot[0:20:59] Then you've got the trip[0:21:01] Which is very stressful for me[0:21:03] Because I have to[0:21:05] It's like the Oregon trail[0:21:07] Every fucking trip to me is like the Oregon trail[0:21:09] It's like will I survive[0:21:11] I've got to bring this whole[0:21:13] Everything I own[0:21:15] Basically needs to get packed[0:21:17] And then we always[0:21:19] Get sick, this is the fourth time[0:21:21] By the way Jules[0:21:23] The fourth time that I've gotten really[0:21:25] Sick after a visit with[0:21:27] Your sister, in fact[0:21:29] I don't think I've gotten sick[0:21:31] Like that kind of sick without your[0:21:33] Sister's involvement[0:21:35] Four times[0:21:37] What was I saying about, it was something else though[0:21:39] About coming home, doing this[0:21:41] Oh yeah the Beyonce tickets[0:21:43] Yeah we bought Beyonce tickets for the[0:21:45] Arena as well[0:21:47] We will not be going, I'm not putting myself[0:21:49] At risk for these things anymore[0:21:51] Now this one you had to, it's Taylor Swift[0:21:53] It's your favorite band, you gotta go[0:21:55] You gotta do it, so I'm not gonna[0:21:57] Make her feel bad for me[0:21:59] Getting sick and missing all my work[0:22:01] And[0:22:03] Losing all my gains and[0:22:05] Setting me back and we lost[0:22:07] 620,000 dollars from this[0:22:09] MCM that we're working on[0:22:11] Did you hear about this? They stole[0:22:13] This company I work with, stole[0:22:15] 620,019[0:22:17] Cents from me[0:22:19] So we're gonna be trying to[0:22:21] Expose them later today[0:22:23] But yeah so yes the Beyonce[0:22:25] Tickets are yours, we'll come up with a[0:22:27] Contest, we'll give you those[0:22:29] Guess what, a bunch of white[0:22:31] Nerdy boom bodies at the Taylor[0:22:33] Concert, you saw those what[0:22:35] What do you think the boom bodies[0:22:37] What color do you think the boom bodies[0:22:39] Are gonna be at the Beyonce concert[0:22:41] Think about this, what's worse[0:22:43] Than a white[0:22:45] Boom body[0:22:47] A black[0:22:49] Tell everyone I said it[0:22:51] A black boom body[0:22:53] Imagine that, they got nachos[0:22:55] They got two sodas[0:22:57] They got chips, they got ice cream[0:22:59] And they're all coming towards me[0:23:01] The big fat black women at the Beyonce[0:23:03] Concert, meanwhile you can't hear a thing[0:23:05] Cause it's in a football arena[0:23:07] Stadium[0:23:09] And I don't do stadiums[0:23:11] I don't do arenas, sorry I'm not Bert Kreischer[0:23:13] Alright[0:23:15] We'll give those tickets away today, we're gonna[0:23:17] Do the prize and we're gonna show you[0:23:19] We're gonna have you guys vote by the way[0:23:21] On these people who are gonna win the[0:23:23] Red bars watching sticker contest and[0:23:25] The light news[0:23:27] Contest, don't worry we're not gonna spend[0:23:29] Four hours on this very[0:23:31] Quickly cause frankly the art[0:23:33] And the songs weren't good enough[0:23:35] Just spend that much time[0:23:37] On no no no no in fact not worth[0:23:39] My thousand dollars for each of these prizes[0:23:41] But my word is my word[0:23:43] There's some[0:23:45] That are okay[0:23:47] I would say the[0:23:49] Contest in total[0:23:51] Brought me much embarrassment[0:23:53] No I'm kidding you guys were fine[0:23:55] You guys were fine but what I don't[0:23:57] You know you shouldn't be you don't tune in[0:23:59] To hear me compliment people Jules[0:24:01] Hell yeah[0:24:03] You tune in to me for a very old Jewish[0:24:05] Experience[0:24:07] I'm a complainer I got a lot of good stories[0:24:09] Man I got in fights with two or three[0:24:11] Restaurants over the last month[0:24:13] I've got a lot of stories you know what's the[0:24:15] Thing about me going away for a little bit like I[0:24:17] Just did as I come back I fell up[0:24:19] And tales and new[0:24:21] Ideas and ways[0:24:23] To hate people and new inventive ways[0:24:25] To criticize people[0:24:27] And find their flaws and stuff so I[0:24:29] Never especially when I'm[0:24:31] Sick cause I'm at my maddest[0:24:33] You know when I'm sick I'm[0:24:35] Fuming mad you should see me I'm so[0:24:37] Nasty to everyone around[0:24:39] People that are helping me I'm grabbing stuff[0:24:41] From them I'm sharpening my nails so that[0:24:43] I can infect others[0:24:45] And when I'm at my maddest[0:24:47] I collect some of my best stuff[0:24:49] And of course I'm gonna share that all[0:24:51] With you are you ready to get[0:24:53] Red bar started and have our very[0:24:55] First drink of the[0:24:57] Year it's season 22[0:24:59] Now it's season[0:25:01] 20 phase 2[0:25:03] We have entered listen to this[0:25:05] For those of you[0:25:07] Who have sat around with us for season[0:25:09] 20 you know you gotta understand[0:25:11] I almost died[0:25:13] I was in bed I call this[0:25:15] A year I was in bed for the good[0:25:17] Part of a year in bed[0:25:19] Screaming[0:25:21] Into a pillow for one[0:25:23] Year almost[0:25:25] Okay that's not something that I[0:25:27] Take lightly[0:25:29] That's not something and by the way[0:25:31] I don't talk about it a lot and I don't complain[0:25:33] So maybe you don't[0:25:35] Think that that's that crazy well just[0:25:37] Think about it this way go to bed tonight[0:25:39] Stay there for one year[0:25:41] It's insane[0:25:43] Insane[0:25:45] One of the worst things that's ever[0:25:47] Happened and I've gone through a lot of[0:25:49] Tremendous every year a terrible thing happens[0:25:51] So um[0:25:53] Coming back here[0:25:55] You know for season 20 this has been[0:25:57] An everyday[0:25:59] Struggle[0:26:01] Academics[0:26:03] Joe Budden[0:26:05] Nadeska[0:26:07] So uh it's a real[0:26:09] Struggle this is no easy[0:26:11] Attempt for me or it wasn't[0:26:13] Season 20[0:26:15] Um[0:26:17] You know basically my health has become[0:26:19] A full time job[0:26:21] Uh taking care of myself and trying[0:26:23] To rid myself of this terrible[0:26:25] Disease or figure out as much[0:26:27] Shit as I could do to[0:26:29] Make it so I don't notice the disease[0:26:31] As much as it is a chronic[0:26:33] Lifelong[0:26:35] Useless disease[0:26:37] So it's a lot of work[0:26:39] You know and I would[0:26:41] Say up until now[0:26:43] You've been in phase one[0:26:45] Of red bar season 20[0:26:47] And I could say clearly with confidence[0:26:49] Now is now that I am finally immune[0:26:51] From COVID[0:26:53] We are entering phase two[0:26:57] Phase two[0:26:59] I start spending some more money on this[0:27:01] Production[0:27:03] I add some cameras[0:27:05] We do[0:27:07] Recolor correction[0:27:09] Now if those[0:27:11] Three things aren't exciting enough[0:27:13] I'm gonna keep the rest as surprises[0:27:15] But what I want you to know if you sat through[0:27:17] Phase one phase one was me[0:27:19] Reentering[0:27:21] Society[0:27:23] Which I've done actually many times[0:27:25] You know how many times I've had to reenter society[0:27:27] In my life it's not normal[0:27:29] With the boarding[0:27:31] My first time reentering[0:27:33] Society[0:27:35] Yeah I would say the boarding school thing[0:27:37] Which was your most[0:27:39] I should stop saying this term[0:27:41] Boarding school[0:27:43] Cult[0:27:45] What did Paris Hilton call hers?[0:27:47] Wilderness program[0:27:49] That doesn't really[0:27:51] Cover it either[0:27:53] I don't want to talk about it[0:27:55] But I had to reenter[0:27:57] Society from that[0:27:59] Every reenter though[0:28:01] Is a story I don't really want to tell[0:28:03] Because they're embarrassing[0:28:05] So let's just say[0:28:07] I've reentered a lot and I had to[0:28:09] Reenter season 20[0:28:11] So I took things pretty slow[0:28:13] I'm ready to take things[0:28:15] A little bit faster[0:28:17] More excitement[0:28:19] More controversy[0:28:21] More stunts[0:28:23] More amazing things[0:28:25] Hopefully or I could get sick[0:28:27] And go away again[0:28:29] Alright let's get this Rise up[0:28:31] Let's get this first drink going[0:28:33] I got a banger video from Tappen Skins[0:28:35] That was just released last night[0:28:37] Wait till you see this[0:28:39] You want to do a Rise with me?[0:28:41] You want to do a Rise with me?[0:28:43] Let me find my little Rise song[0:28:45] Song's for show[0:28:47] This is a Rise[0:28:49] And what happens the TV is going to come up[0:28:51] I'm going to try to find[0:28:53] I think we're going to stop yelling Rise[0:28:55] You know on one show I was just like Rise, Rise[0:28:57] And then everyone kept saying it[0:28:59] I'm like oh this must be a funny thing to someone[0:29:01] I don't know why everybody else keeps[0:29:03] Saying Rise as if that's funny[0:29:05] I never found that funny[0:29:07] To me that is an action[0:29:09] It's just an action to me[0:29:11] Seriously I've never found that funny once[0:29:13] So I'm going to stop saying it[0:29:15] We're going to sit in complete silence while it rises[0:29:17] Check this out[0:29:19] 1, 2, 3, Rise[0:29:21] Here it comes folks[0:29:23] Rise[0:29:25] What do you say as the TV rises?[0:29:29] What does one say?[0:29:35] Up! It's time![0:29:37] I'll say what my dad used to say[0:29:39] Get up![0:29:41] There we go[0:29:43] Welcome everybody[0:29:45] You know we were going to originally have a smoke machine[0:29:47] Maybe in phase 2 we'll get the smoke machine[0:29:49] Set up for the Rise[0:29:51] No we decided not to use it for a reason[0:29:53] Yes I know I know[0:29:55] We decided not to use it because it's very loud[0:29:57] First of all this is a smoke machine[0:29:59] You don't realize[0:30:01] So there's that[0:30:03] And then guess what?[0:30:05] Smoke machines[0:30:07] Here's a tip for all of you[0:30:09] Creative content people who are putting stuff online[0:30:11] Smoke machine filled rooms[0:30:13] Do not look good[0:30:15] On screen[0:30:17] Do not look good[0:30:19] On streaming content[0:30:21] Streaming videos[0:30:23] I'll tell you why[0:30:25] Because the[0:30:27] What do you call that?[0:30:29] I'll get this[0:30:31] It's the DPI of the video[0:30:33] What do you call this?[0:30:35] The resolution of the video[0:30:37] The bit rate is too low[0:30:39] So to stream you've got to cut a lot of corners[0:30:41] It's like an MP3 on Spotify[0:30:43] You know an MP3 on Spotify[0:30:45] Pretend this is a full song[0:30:47] This is an MP3 on Spotify[0:30:49] This is the full version[0:30:51] On Spotify it's this big[0:30:53] They're cutting out the frequencies[0:30:55] From the top and the bottom[0:30:57] They're cutting things out[0:30:59] Here and there[0:31:01] Stuff that they think maybe you won't be able to hear[0:31:03] And they're getting that file size down a lot smaller[0:31:05] Delivered here[0:31:07] That's what we're doing while we stream[0:31:09] The file size has to be very small for it to work[0:31:11] And you're constantly in this thing[0:31:13] Where you're like the smallest file size[0:31:15] With the best picture quality[0:31:17] Let's keep turning knobs[0:31:19] Until it gets that way[0:31:21] What we noticed is that a smoke-filled room[0:31:23] Is creating too much movement[0:31:25] There's constant movement in the air[0:31:27] And the way these transcoders work[0:31:29] For live streaming[0:31:31] Everything that moves[0:31:33] You know when something is still here[0:31:35] The encoder isn't doing much[0:31:37] So when this microphone is still[0:31:39] It's not moving[0:31:41] The encoder is kind of just sending that out to you[0:31:43] As a picture of this area[0:31:45] But when I go like this[0:31:47] The encoder is going crazy[0:31:49] Now it's got to work[0:31:51] So when you have smoke in the air[0:31:53] That encoder starts working everywhere[0:31:55] And you start seeing pixelation[0:31:57] Everywhere in the sky[0:31:59] So smoke machines don't look good on[0:32:01] Live streaming content[0:32:03] Now if you shot it in 4K[0:32:05] And uploaded it[0:32:07] You might have a different story[0:32:09] Does everybody understand this?[0:32:11] Just go look at it[0:32:13] Go look at one of these live streaming[0:32:15] Concerts on YouTube[0:32:17] When they do Lollypalooza live[0:32:19] They've got smoke everywhere in the air[0:32:21] And it's all pixelated clouds[0:32:23] Kind of[0:32:25] Very, very ugly look[0:32:27] Let's take our first drink while we listen[0:32:29] I haven't had one of these[0:32:31] In a very long time[0:32:33] Will he survive?[0:32:35] I've got some new tools to keep me up[0:32:37] Of course he can't promote anything[0:32:39] On this show[0:32:41] But I do have some new packets[0:32:43] Some new fuels[0:32:45] That have energy stuff in them[0:32:47] So in about three hours[0:32:49] I'm going to take another one of my energy fuels[0:32:51] Wait till you see what this one does[0:32:53] Okay, let's do this[0:32:55] We've got a drinking song here[0:32:57] From Tappan Skins[0:32:59] And this came out, this is so good[0:33:01] This one really made me laugh[0:33:03] It's featuring Sam Tripoli[0:33:05] Kanye West[0:33:07] Let's pull it up on my screen[0:33:09] Our very own TS[0:33:11] Who's TS?[0:33:13] Tappan Skins[0:33:15] And Sam Tripoli[0:33:17] Remember we played this video of Sam[0:33:19] On Bert Kreischer's[0:33:21] Something's Burning[0:33:23] And Bert brought up God[0:33:25] And what did Sam say?[0:33:27] I'm all about the Lord, dog[0:33:29] Remember that?[0:33:31] We caught Sam Tripoli[0:33:33] I'm all about the Lord, dog[0:33:35] And I said[0:33:37] You're all about[0:33:39] I mean, do you even hear what you're saying here?[0:33:41] You're all about[0:33:43] The Lord[0:33:45] So this guy Tappan Skins made a music video[0:33:47] A song out of it[0:33:49] And we're going to listen to that while we[0:33:51] Drink, have one with me[0:33:53] Don't have two with me, no, follow along with me[0:33:55] As I drink, as I puff[0:33:57] As I[0:33:59] Shmee[0:34:01] Follow along, do it with me, don't go ahead[0:34:03] Don't go below[0:34:05] You should have the same products, too[0:34:07] I don't want you drinking anything else[0:34:09] Okay, here we go[0:34:11] Kill that[0:34:13] That's a special song[0:34:15] Kill it[0:34:17] I give her no time to kill it[0:34:19] Before I go back up[0:34:21] Okay, here it is, Tappan Skins[0:34:23] This song's called All About the Lord[0:34:25] Here it is, you're going to love it[0:34:27] Let's have our first drink[0:34:29] Yes, we're back, red bar[0:34:31] Thank you[0:34:33] Let's do a big one[0:34:35] Wait for it to drop[0:34:37] I believe[0:34:39] There you go[0:34:41] I still wear the cross[0:34:43] All about the Lord[0:34:45] What[0:34:47] All about the Lord[0:34:49] What[0:34:51] All about the Lord[0:34:53] Look at him, high hat[0:34:55] The high hat[0:34:57] All about the Lord[0:34:59] All about the Lord[0:35:01] This feels good[0:35:03] Okay[0:35:05] All about the Lord[0:35:07] Tell me if you know someone[0:35:09] That needs[0:35:11] Jesus[0:35:13] Lord[0:35:15] All about the Lord[0:35:17] Tell me if you know someone[0:35:19] That needs[0:35:21] Jesus[0:35:23] Christ[0:35:25] Sing that song again.[0:35:27] Aliens came and abducted the Virgin Mary and bass, bass, bass, bass, lead seminator.[0:35:37] That was good.[0:35:38] People really get offended by that, but I'm like, that's a great story.[0:35:43] Have a couple pops.[0:35:44] Aliens came, run train.[0:35:47] Be the Lord.[0:35:48] I'm all about the Lord.[0:35:53] I'm all about the Lord.[0:35:54] Look at that guys.[0:35:55] Wait till you hear about what happened.[0:35:59] I'm all about the Lord.[0:36:03] I'm all about the Lord.[0:36:08] Tell me if you know someone...[0:36:10] Cheers, this is our third drink.[0:36:12] I'm all about the Lord and God for the same shirt.[0:36:32] The Lord.[0:36:35] Gotcha.[0:36:36] Woo![0:36:36] Conda![0:36:37] Thank you![0:36:40] Redbar is watching very, very nice Tappan Skins on YouTube,[0:36:45] right?[0:36:45] He's done a lot of these.[0:36:46] Long Guy, Heckler.[0:36:48] Very, very good.[0:36:49] Thank you, Tappan Skins.[0:36:51] That really excited us.[0:36:52] Someone was already making fun of you[0:36:53] for wearing the same shirt again.[0:36:55] Oh, no.[0:36:57] I got him the nicest, cutest shirt to wear the other day,[0:36:59] and he refused to wear it.[0:37:00] Well, I'll tell you this.[0:37:03] It's very hard finding shirt after shirt after shirt.[0:37:06] You would think it would be pretty easy.[0:37:07] It's not.[0:37:08] And it's really hot today.[0:37:10] We're nearly at 100 American degrees[0:37:13] here in the studio today.[0:37:15] And we've got the AC from the front office.[0:37:17] We've got two air conditioners.[0:37:19] And we've got one going in the front office.[0:37:21] Obviously, we have to turn this one off here[0:37:23] for sound reasons.[0:37:25] And then we have fans that drag in the cool air[0:37:28] from the front offices into here.[0:37:30] But it gets very hot.[0:37:32] So I didn't want to wear, you know,[0:37:34] I got some cool outfits to wear.[0:37:35] I got some new cool outfits to wear.[0:37:37] But I didn't want to wear them.[0:37:38] I didn't want to be sweaty for my big comeback, my, what[0:37:42] do you call that, my re-entry to the world.[0:37:45] I bet you guys are going, what is this dynamite here, huh?[0:37:49] Anybody see this?[0:37:49] This was a gift I got sent to me, this dynamite.[0:37:53] And I actually got scared when I got this in the mail.[0:37:56] But then I realized instantly that this isn't real wick.[0:37:59] OK, it's just rope.[0:38:02] And this guy made red bar dynamite there.[0:38:06] I'll read you his little email to me.[0:38:10] And here it goes.[0:38:12] Dearest Mike and lovely Canadian sister Jules,[0:38:16] I started listening before the pandemic.[0:38:19] And I wanted to express, what is that?[0:38:21] The pandemic.[0:38:23] And I wanted to express my appreciation.[0:38:25] Oh, how are people thinking about, forget this.[0:38:28] How are people doing about my unvaccinated status?[0:38:31] Did I get a bunch of cheers?[0:38:34] Or did they think I was, did you hear what[0:38:35] I said at the beginning of the show, unvaxxed?[0:38:37] That's the first time I've ever admitted that.[0:38:39] I thought I was going to get a lot of cheers.[0:38:41] Go Mike, go Mike.[0:38:43] See, I don't even know what's going on.[0:38:45] The internet that I'm plugged into is anti-vaxx.[0:38:50] Whatever they're sending me, whatever they're showing me,[0:38:52] whatever the bubble I'm in, they're all anti-vaxxed.[0:38:55] And to me, a vaxx would be like, that[0:38:57] would be like if I got caught naked with a guy online.[0:39:02] But some people might be plugged into a world[0:39:04] where those people are crazy.[0:39:06] Well, maybe you wouldn't have got COVID[0:39:07] so bad if you were vaxxed.[0:39:09] I think that could be the case.[0:39:11] And I'll tell you this, because she[0:39:14] had to get vaxxed to go to Canada when this all came out.[0:39:16] She had to get vaxxed to go to Canada.[0:39:19] And she's not going to do nothing to not see her family.[0:39:21] You know, these people with their families.[0:39:24] To me, I don't care.[0:39:25] If I never saw my family again over a vaccination,[0:39:27] that's totally fine with me.[0:39:29] I'm not getting a shot.[0:39:31] No, but I've been through this medical system[0:39:33] with all my disease.[0:39:34] And every medicine they gave me hurt me.[0:39:37] Every medicine that a doctor's ever prescribed to me[0:39:40] ended up really hurting me and causing a lot of stuff[0:39:44] that I really didn't want to happen[0:39:46] and that I wished never happened.[0:39:47] So there's no way I'm getting a vaccination of any sort[0:39:52] from the state.[0:39:54] No, no, no.[0:39:55] That just sounds crazy.[0:39:57] And I really, I just don't really care.[0:39:59] I did care at first.[0:40:00] I go, I don't want to kill anyone.[0:40:01] No, I don't want to kill anybody.[0:40:03] Now I don't care who dies, who doesn't die.[0:40:07] That to me is childish.[0:40:08] And I don't, on the other side though,[0:40:11] you know what I also think about these non-vaxxed guys,[0:40:13] these non-vaxxed guys,[0:40:15] they care so much about the children at the drag shows.[0:40:18] I wish every kid was raped by Robin Tran at the drag show.[0:40:21] I really do.[0:40:24] I want to shove this up your kid's ass.[0:40:28] If you care about other people's kids,[0:40:30] you are in fact gay.[0:40:33] You are gay.[0:40:34] Okay, let me read this.[0:40:35] I wanted to express my appreciate.[0:40:38] Just a little bit of water.[0:40:43] I wanted to express my appreciation[0:40:45] for the endless laughs and triumphs over fools[0:40:48] that you've provided in recent years.[0:40:50] You actually mentioned me on the show once[0:40:53] and my feet didn't touch ground for a week.[0:40:56] I'm so proud of you two and the glorious new studio[0:40:59] that you've built together.[0:41:01] I can't name a better conceived and execute,[0:41:06] execute, I'm not in a reading mood.[0:41:10] Thanks for the bombs.[0:41:11] Did they do anything?[0:41:12] Should we try it?[0:41:13] It's an amazing gift.[0:41:14] No, no. What if we let this[0:41:15] and this was a real stick of Dinah.[0:41:17] And it fucking blows up.[0:41:18] What if I let this, thinking it's a joke,[0:41:21] turns out, I mean, this would clear the room, right?[0:41:24] I'm not going to light it.[0:41:25] Cause what if, what if?[0:41:28] And he goes, he'll think it's fake on the show.[0:41:30] We'll light it.[0:41:31] And then boom, nice try.[0:41:33] It's not going to happen.[0:41:34] I wanted to show you this.[0:41:35] Thank you so much.[0:41:36] Don't worry.[0:41:37] This is a bin that I take with me.[0:41:39] This is like my purse.[0:41:40] I hook up a strap here and then I wear this.[0:41:43] That's just my bin.[0:41:44] That's not the trash.[0:41:45] Don't worry.[0:41:46] We're not throwing it in the trash.[0:41:47] We had a lot of these.[0:41:48] Aren't these sharp?[0:41:49] Aren't these cute?[0:41:50] These are these Uline trash cans.[0:41:51] We got them all over the studio.[0:41:52] We match, every trash can here matches.[0:41:55] It's ready.[0:41:56] We got four of them all throughout the offices.[0:41:59] I think that's really nice.[0:42:00] I like those trash cans.[0:42:01] It adds a pop of red.[0:42:03] My favorite color from red to bar.[0:42:05] Okay.[0:42:06] We've got an excellent show for you.[0:42:07] Like I said, coming up today,[0:42:08] we're going to find out the truth with this Bobby Lee story.[0:42:11] Did you see he came clean?[0:42:14] Bobby Lee.[0:42:16] Let's talk about him.[0:42:17] Asian Bobby Lee.[0:42:18] Do we have him in a link?[0:42:19] Do we have any content for that?[0:42:21] Do we have a...[0:42:23] Well, you all know his Tijuana story.[0:42:25] Well, no, we don't all know his Tijuana story[0:42:28] because that's what I was going to say.[0:42:29] I was going to kind of retell it here[0:42:30] cause I didn't really know it.[0:42:33] You know, you would think that's something I know[0:42:35] front to back.[0:42:36] I'll tell you a secret about me.[0:42:38] If I don't hate the guy,[0:42:40] I don't really care who they've molested.[0:42:42] Or I don't, you know, to me, you go to another country,[0:42:47] molested Chinese kid, big whoop.[0:42:50] What's the kid going to do?[0:42:52] No, it's obviously disgusting.[0:42:55] Okay.[0:42:55] If people do this to the children.[0:42:58] The children.[0:42:59] But Bobby Lee for years has been kind of ducking[0:43:04] this me too moment here that he had.[0:43:07] Do I have any materials for this?[0:43:10] That's all I was asking.[0:43:11] Do I have a link?[0:43:12] Okay, next step here.[0:43:14] Bobby Lee addresses his Tijuana story.[0:43:17] Here, I'll show you some of this.[0:43:18] And then I'll tell you, I...[0:43:21] The best part about this is I don't need him[0:43:23] to address anything.[0:43:24] I've got the answer and that's coming up today.[0:43:27] So here he is a very special tiger belly.[0:43:31] And you know, I'm very friendly with Bobby and Kalila.[0:43:35] These guys are big friends of mine and Annie Liederman.[0:43:37] I was just out to dinner with these three last week.[0:43:44] Kalila is always very nice.[0:43:45] She, remember, she used to have breast implants.[0:43:48] She got them removed because she's so sick of them.[0:43:51] Okay.[0:43:52] And here they are, they've got another new set up here.[0:43:55] They're always changing their set up in this room.[0:43:58] And they've got another new one.[0:44:00] And this one's called Bobby Lee's Tijuana story,[0:44:03] Tiger Belly 393.[0:44:04] This shocked a lot of people, a lot of people.[0:44:08] When they saw this come out, they went, no.[0:44:11] So let me try to retell this in my own way here.[0:44:15] And please excuse me.[0:44:16] I still got a little sniffles going on[0:44:19] from my experience with COVID here.[0:44:23] Just a quick dab.[0:44:26] Cut to the wide shot real quick.[0:44:27] Anyone notice anything different on the set there?[0:44:30] I had a killer jam session last week.[0:44:34] I won't tell you with who, but we had a full band in here[0:44:38] and we were practicing before I got sick.[0:44:41] And we came out with some really good songs.[0:44:44] You see, that's why some of the chords are different.[0:44:46] There's another guitar in there.[0:44:48] Would you guys like to hear the album I've been working on?[0:44:53] You can come.[0:44:53] I've got a full album here.[0:44:56] You know, this is a full recording studio.[0:44:58] Every instrument you see here, you cut back to like,[0:45:00] every instrument you see here is hooked up.[0:45:03] They're all hooked up to million dollar preamps,[0:45:06] compressors, and all this stuff that sounds beautiful.[0:45:09] I mean, that whole drum set is miked up.[0:45:13] It all sounds beautiful.[0:45:14] Would you like us to do a live performance for you[0:45:17] one day in the studio?[0:45:19] Would you like to hear the album I've been working on[0:45:22] that one lucky listener is gonna receive on vinyl?[0:45:27] Coming up.[0:45:29] Wait till you hear the music I've been working on.[0:45:30] I think it might change the industry.[0:45:34] Okay, back to Bobby.[0:45:35] So, Bobby Lee.[0:45:38] You know, and you guys gotta remember[0:45:40] Bobby Lee used to be a crazy retard.[0:45:44] So like Bobby Lee, before he got this new respect[0:45:48] with Tiger Belly, he was what's called[0:45:50] one of comedy's freak retards.[0:45:54] And he was never himself.[0:45:56] He was always scared.[0:45:57] And whenever he was on somebody else's show,[0:45:59] he would just play a retard.[0:46:02] They'd all make jokes at him.[0:46:03] And the bit was, and he shared this bit with many men.[0:46:07] I found the bit to be repulsive[0:46:08] because he didn't really want this to be the way it went[0:46:12] down, but Bobby was so uncomfortable around so many men[0:46:14] that he would allow them to all do the same bit to him.[0:46:20] The same bit that Andrew Santino does to him[0:46:22] to this day on Bad Friends, which is,[0:46:25] I'm going to insult Bobby.[0:46:27] I'm going to criticize him.[0:46:31] And then he's gonna say, how dare you?[0:46:33] You know, and something like that.[0:46:35] And everybody like fell into this Glassman style playing.[0:46:40] That's what Glassman calls riffing.[0:46:42] He calls it playing.[0:46:44] Think about this.[0:46:45] Oh, I love to play, he says, Rick Glassman.[0:46:49] Why don't you come on my podcast, we'll play.[0:46:52] He calls it playing, like a play date.[0:46:54] They're gonna play, they're gonna riff.[0:46:56] Disgusting, I don't play with people.[0:47:00] But you saw when Bobby would go on Fighter and the Kid[0:47:03] with Brendan Schaub and Brian Callen.[0:47:05] Brian Callen, we got a big segment on him coming up.[0:47:10] It would always just turn into, let's kind of pick on Bobby[0:47:15] and then Bobby will pretend he's upset.[0:47:17] And is it real, is it not?[0:47:19] And they'll tell fake stories.[0:47:21] So Bobby used to go on this Opie and Anthony[0:47:23] and he claims he was so scared of Opie and Anthony.[0:47:26] My pal, Anthony, cue me, all this stuff ties in.[0:47:30] Then my pal Opie Radio, who's, let's be honest,[0:47:33] he hasn't seen a lot of clips of Red Bart,[0:47:35] but he's seen some of his stuff.[0:47:38] Every week I get a video sent to me,[0:47:40] Mike Opie from Opie and Anthony is talking about you.[0:47:43] And I turn it on and he goes, yeah, Red Bart, to be honest,[0:47:47] I don't really watch his stuff.[0:47:49] I have seen his stuff.[0:47:52] Just the fact that somebody knows me is all I need.[0:47:56] Whitney Cummings knows me.[0:47:58] She was just on the show, The Accused on Fox.[0:48:01] Whitney Cummings knows me.[0:48:02] She just did the roast of Bert Kreischer.[0:48:05] I got some clips.[0:48:06] Just who else knows me?[0:48:08] Bobby Lee, he follows me on, let's check.[0:48:13] Does Bobby Lee still follow me?[0:48:14] You know, he followed me once and then unfollowed.[0:48:19] And then he followed me again.[0:48:21] Are you able to look at this?[0:48:23] Cause I'm going to bury Bobby today.[0:48:26] I'm going to bury that chink today.[0:48:29] How do I find out who's, you know, I'll tell you this.[0:48:33] I've elected to go full boom on.[0:48:38] Yep, he follows you.[0:48:39] He follows me.[0:48:40] Look at that, Bobby Lee follows me.[0:48:42] So he sees everything I do and I post a lot.[0:48:45] Just kidding, I don't post.[0:48:47] You want to hear secrets about me?[0:48:48] The show is going to have a lot of stuff[0:48:50] about me in it today.[0:48:52] So thank you for joining the Scars Club,[0:48:55] which is where you're watching today.[0:48:56] Thank you very much for that.[0:48:58] It keeps the show ad free.[0:48:59] Well, the show will be ad free no matter what,[0:49:03] but it keeps us able to go to things[0:49:05] like the Taylor Swift concert.[0:49:06] Thank you.[0:49:10] Here's something about me.[0:49:11] I'm doing a new thing.[0:49:13] This isn't a joke.[0:49:15] See, now it sounds like everything I say[0:49:16] is going to be a pure joke lie.[0:49:19] It's not.[0:49:21] That's what Melton would do to you.[0:49:23] That's what Melton, that's why these guys[0:49:24] are not the same as me.[0:49:26] They are not the same.[0:49:28] What's that from?[0:49:29] We are not the same.[0:49:31] That's Baby Keen, everybody, with Kendrick.[0:49:35] Kendrick Lamar, by the way, is gay.[0:49:38] I bet you anything.[0:49:41] We are not the same.[0:49:42] Me and the other shows aren't the same[0:49:44] because I have a lot of heart.[0:49:47] You know, I really do.[0:49:49] And people could feel that from me.[0:49:51] It's the same reason why any girl I've ever dated,[0:49:54] their parents aren't grilling me.[0:49:56] They understand this is a really great thing[0:49:59] for their daughter.[0:50:02] I was watching Love is Blind,[0:50:04] and these people take, they go visit the family[0:50:08] of the person that they're going to be engaged to,[0:50:09] and the family's grilling them.[0:50:11] First of all, I'd walk out.[0:50:13] If a family grilled me, I'd go, thank you.[0:50:16] You're not valuable.[0:50:19] I'm not a family man, by the way.[0:50:22] I don't respect family, and I'm not one of these people[0:50:25] that I just love my family.[0:50:26] I hate families.[0:50:28] The scariest thing in the world to me is,[0:50:30] like if you married someone, they're like,[0:50:32] I just love my family.[0:50:33] I got to see them every two seconds.[0:50:36] I'd go, next![0:50:39] You know?[0:50:40] And I'd next you.[0:50:42] Jules loves her family.[0:50:43] Of course, everybody loves their family.[0:50:46] I love my family too.[0:50:48] I just really enjoy all these strangers[0:50:51] that I got involved with via blood,[0:50:55] but I am, you know, a lot of people, they don't question me,[0:50:58] and a lot of these people, they know me,[0:51:00] and what I'm saying is I get a lot of passes out there[0:51:04] in this world, more passes than like a Melton would get,[0:51:07] or a Josh Denny, or even a, you know,[0:51:12] like a successful comedian would get a lot of people,[0:51:15] I think, deep down after they get to know me[0:51:17] for about three or four years,[0:51:19] they start really trusting me.[0:51:22] They understand that I understand,[0:51:26] and Bobby Lee followed me.[0:51:29] It's gonna take some time here.[0:51:31] I'm very rusty from all my sickness.[0:51:33] Okay, so Bobby Lee follows me.[0:51:35] I'm bringing him up.[0:51:35] He trusts me.[0:51:36] I trust me.[0:51:38] What was I saying here?[0:51:39] Where was I going with this?[0:51:40] This is why you gotta be careful with these tangents.[0:51:43] When no one else is paying attention[0:51:44] to where the hell you were going, and it was a good one.[0:51:47] It was something good too.[0:51:49] Bobby Lee, he follows me.[0:51:52] He knows me.[0:51:53] I love when people know me.[0:51:55] Isn't this what I was saying?[0:51:56] And I'll take help from the chat?[0:51:57] Yes, I will.[0:52:00] We're doing super chats today.[0:52:01] For every 10 bucks you send me,[0:52:03] I'll read a little comment about me.[0:52:05] Could you imagine?[0:52:07] If you're, I don't allow super chats to happen.[0:52:10] I don't allow what Tim Dillon is doing right now.[0:52:13] I'm getting a lot of emails about Tim Dillon[0:52:15] running about 12 ads on his program.[0:52:19] Every six or seven minutes,[0:52:21] he goes into a prerecorded live read.[0:52:25] His episode with Bert had like seven ads.[0:52:27] Yeah, and then imagine the YouTube ads[0:52:29] that we don't see because we have YouTube Red.[0:52:32] Imagine the YouTube ads that must be in there.[0:52:37] So this is what I'm talking about.[0:52:38] I must remind you, none of that is cool.[0:52:41] None of that is okay.[0:52:42] None of that is something that should just be normalized.[0:52:45] Every episode, I must remind you how bad that is.[0:52:48] Okay, Bobby Lee, Opie and Anthony.[0:52:50] Opie, where was I?[0:52:53] You were talking about how everyone always[0:52:54] disrespected Bobby and treated him like shit,[0:52:56] and then he was on Opie and Anthony.[0:52:58] So Bobby goes on Opie and Anthony with Anthony Ciumia,[0:53:02] and I guess he tells his story.[0:53:03] And this was a different time back in those days.[0:53:07] I remember listening to Opie and Anthony.[0:53:10] This is before like podcasting,[0:53:12] comedian podcasting kind of started.[0:53:15] Of course, we were doing it.[0:53:17] Do you know we were like the first show[0:53:19] that had comedians on in podcasting?[0:53:23] Did you know that was, we were one of the first shows[0:53:25] to have comedians on as guests in podcasting.[0:53:29] Then everybody copied.[0:53:31] So back then though, do you remember Jim Norton?[0:53:36] It was all about the thrilling thing about Opie and Anthony[0:53:39] was we just couldn't believe these stories[0:53:41] they were telling.[0:53:42] You know, Jim Norton would talk about[0:53:44] how he would fuck a hooker.[0:53:47] They would talk about these stories[0:53:48] about fucking prostitutes and trannies and all this.[0:53:52] And you just had never heard anything like that before.[0:53:56] You got to take yourself back to a time[0:53:58] where there was a time where we never heard[0:54:01] people act grody publicly.[0:54:05] It was a big thrill.[0:54:07] I loved this thrill.[0:54:10] You know, you could tune into a lot of talk radio back then[0:54:13] and there just wasn't too much being said.[0:54:16] Everything was pretty safe.[0:54:17] Everything was pretty TV friendly back in the day.[0:54:21] And then you had Opie and Anthony,[0:54:22] which was on the real radio, which was a big part of it.[0:54:26] It was on XM radio too,[0:54:27] which back then seemed like the real radio,[0:54:30] a real corporation.[0:54:32] And you'd be in your car and you would just be thrilled[0:54:35] to hear these wacky stories.[0:54:38] Cut to now where a wacky story is the absolute last thing[0:54:42] I ever want to hear.[0:54:44] I hate stories.[0:54:46] I'll tell you this, I hate a comedian's story.[0:54:49] Oh, this one time I got to tell you about that.[0:54:52] It's always a lie.[0:54:53] It's always fake.[0:54:54] And I guess back then I didn't realize[0:54:58] everybody was just lying.[0:55:00] You know, to me, I know like standup is a lie,[0:55:04] but I thought if you were on a radio show as yourself[0:55:06] and you were being interviewed and you told a story,[0:55:08] I imagined it would, it was real.[0:55:11] You know, we had that thing with Brad Williams,[0:55:13] Brad Williams, that midget comedian,[0:55:16] which is another no-no in my book.[0:55:18] I am not thrilled or taken by midgets.[0:55:23] I ain't midgets.[0:55:25] I don't find them funny, cute.[0:55:27] I want them out.[0:55:29] So this guy, Brad Williams,[0:55:31] he was on Getting Dug With High[0:55:34] is this show hosted by Doug Benson[0:55:36] where they'd smoke weed in the spacement.[0:55:39] And Brad Williams told a story about how he was opened up[0:55:42] for Carlos Mencia once.[0:55:44] And Carlos was so popular at the time,[0:55:47] they had this tour bus and all these girls would line up[0:55:50] outside the tour bus, hoping to get in[0:55:53] and fuck Carlos Mencia.[0:55:56] And Carlos was, you know,[0:55:58] he had fucked so many of these women at the shows,[0:56:01] he was over it.[0:56:02] And there was a girl knocking on the tour bus door,[0:56:04] wanted to fuck Carlos.[0:56:06] And Carlos goes, oh man,[0:56:09] I don't want anything to do with her, donk.[0:56:11] And Brad Williams, the little midget,[0:56:14] and by the way, a Mexican and a midget,[0:56:16] a white midget shouldn't, if you guys are together,[0:56:18] that's what's called the circus.[0:56:21] To me, when a midget's involved,[0:56:23] you've circus-ized your operation.[0:56:25] That is a circus freak, let's be clear.[0:56:29] So Brad Williams goes, dude, send her in.[0:56:31] We'll turn off all the lights,[0:56:33] I'll pretend to be you and I'll start fucking her.[0:56:36] And then we'll turn the lights on,[0:56:37] she'll see it's me, she'll freak.[0:56:39] So he tells his story,[0:56:40] he says that that's precisely what he did.[0:56:44] He says that we turned the lights off in the tour bus,[0:56:47] this girl comes in, I start fucking her as the midget.[0:56:51] We turn the lights on, she sees Carlos[0:56:53] is sitting there like this,[0:56:54] and I'm the one behind her like this.[0:56:56] She screams and runs out of the bus,[0:56:58] I go, that's a rape.[0:57:01] So they told this story on Getting Dug with High,[0:57:04] I go, wow, that's a rape, you just admitted to a rape.[0:57:07] That's a switcheroo style rape.[0:57:10] And we showed it to the world as a rape like that.[0:57:14] And Brad got very worried and he came out[0:57:17] and he said the story was a lie, he made it up.[0:57:20] I go, I don't know, I don't think you made it up,[0:57:22] I think if you made something up,[0:57:25] wouldn't it be a better story than, well, maybe not.[0:57:29] Either way, if you make up a rape, you're kind of raped.[0:57:33] Or if you ever thought, here's what bothers me about it.[0:57:37] If you didn't think that was a rape,[0:57:40] like, I don't care how many years ago it is,[0:57:43] if I'm fucking a girl without her permission,[0:57:45] I know that's a rape.[0:57:47] The fact that Brad Williams thought this joke[0:57:52] wasn't a rape, you know what I mean?[0:57:55] To say that means that you're capable at least[0:57:58] of doing that if you didn't even think that was bad.[0:58:00] You know what I mean?[0:58:02] You didn't know that was a rape[0:58:05] or you didn't know that was illegal.[0:58:06] At least Bobby Lee's story was like,[0:58:09] oh, this is gonna ruin my career.[0:58:11] He didn't even know that he was doing anything wrong[0:58:13] in this story.[0:58:15] So to me, if you tell a story that you raped somebody,[0:58:18] which I have told many times,[0:58:20] kids, I've raped a lot of kids.[0:58:23] There's nothing anyone can do about it.[0:58:26] The kids will not tell you a word[0:58:28] because they are happy with our relationship.[0:58:34] But there used to be a time where, yes,[0:58:36] you could tell shocking stories[0:58:38] and it was very funny to just be shocking, okay?[0:58:41] It's something we still,[0:58:43] it's a spirit that we keep alive here today on Red Bar.[0:58:46] I like to, every show,[0:58:48] say the world's most dangerous word, the N word.[0:58:53] I love it.[0:58:55] Because you gotta keep thrill alive[0:58:58] and there's no word more hated than this N.[0:59:02] So I will say it every time to show you guys[0:59:07] that there's something to it.[0:59:11] It's funny, still.[0:59:13] The day it becomes unfunny,[0:59:15] believe me, I won't be saying it,[0:59:16] and the day it becomes unfunny[0:59:18] will be the day where they allow it again.[0:59:23] So Bobby Lee tells this Tijuana story[0:59:25] where he claims he went down to Tijuana,[0:59:27] got a child prostitute,[0:59:30] started fucking her, she started crying,[0:59:32] and so then he started power-fucking her.[0:59:37] And then she cried more.[0:59:39] And he tells his story on Opie and Anthony,[0:59:41] he tells his story to Theo Vaughn,[0:59:43] and then the world changes, right?[0:59:46] Me Too movement happens,[0:59:47] George Floyd comes out of the closet,[0:59:50] and now the whole world remembers this story he told[0:59:53] and they said, that's a rape, we gotta get him.[0:59:55] And it's been brought up,[0:59:56] so he's been worried about this[0:59:59] because it pops up and it popped up recently on TikTok.[1:00:04] Woo, TikTok.[1:00:06] I put one of the TikToks in the notes[1:00:07] if you wanted to just have a sample.[1:00:09] Yes, now I might not be able to get into this[1:00:12] because I don't log in.[1:00:13] So for three years, maybe even longer,[1:00:14] comedian Bobby Lee has been going on different shows[1:00:17] and bragging about going to Mexico[1:00:19] and SA-ing a 12-year-old girl.[1:00:21] SA-ing, you guys know what SA is?[1:00:24] Sexual assault.[1:00:27] They won't say sexual assault now[1:00:30] because they might get demonetized[1:00:33] on YouTube and TikTok, so they say SA.[1:00:36] Hey, I had an SA with somebody the other day.[1:00:40] What's up, SA?[1:00:43] I don't like that there's so many terms for SA.[1:00:45] You've got SA as the paper.[1:00:47] You got SA as my favorite, the Mexican man.[1:00:50] SA.[1:00:52] Here.[1:00:53] Yo, SA, you wanna come down with me[1:00:56] and dirty up America, SA?[1:01:00] And then you've got SA, which is sexual assault.[1:01:04] These people are too afraid to say it.[1:01:06] To me, this is what I don't want.[1:01:09] I don't want to give in to that world.[1:01:14] You know, we built our own servers[1:01:16] so that we don't have to give in to that.[1:01:18] But you cannot, if you're watching Bobby Lee,[1:01:23] you're watching one of these podcasts[1:01:24] and they're cutting out swear words[1:01:26] from the first 10 minutes of their show[1:01:28] so that they don't get demonetized.[1:01:30] They're changing words to SA instead of sexual assault.[1:01:36] That's not cool.[1:01:40] That sucks.[1:01:42] And you can't support them, okay?[1:01:44] And they will always live under me, right?[1:01:48] Right, everybody?[1:01:48] They will always live under me[1:01:50] because they don't have the guts.[1:01:52] They don't have the guts because they want the money.[1:01:57] So here's this guy who's gonna tell this Bobby Lee story.[1:01:59] I can't wait to hear this.[1:02:00] And it's blowing up and everybody wants answers.[1:02:02] Bobby Lee, why did you molest?[1:02:04] Why did you rape?[1:02:05] Why did you power fuck a child?[1:02:08] And we have the answer, you know, I'll tell you this.[1:02:12] Let me play this first.[1:02:13] Let me play this first[1:02:14] and then I'll tell you what I got here.[1:02:15] So for three years, maybe even longer,[1:02:17] comedian Bobby Lee has been going on different shows[1:02:20] and bragging about going to Mexico[1:02:22] and SA-ing a 12-year-old girl.[1:02:25] Into the moonlight and she was crying.[1:02:28] Oh, what?[1:02:30] Yeah, she was weeping like snot bubbles.[1:02:32] Yeah.[1:02:33] Just snot bubbles.[1:02:34] God.[1:02:36] I'm not gonna play everything.[1:02:37] Snot bubbles.[1:02:38] She said he was raping the girl.[1:02:39] So I heard she had snot bubbles.[1:02:41] Sick.[1:02:43] Sick.[1:02:43] Where this story gets gross for me[1:02:46] is when I find out the person he was with sexually[1:02:51] was anything other than white.[1:02:55] More racism.[1:02:57] The other day, here's how I know how racist I'm getting.[1:03:00] I was thinking to myself,[1:03:05] oh, I can't tell.[1:03:06] I can't say that.[1:03:07] There's some things you gotta self-censor here.[1:03:09] Hit the dump button, right?[1:03:11] Clines?[1:03:13] I was just gonna make something up on the spot.[1:03:15] So don't worry about that.[1:03:17] And you can never prove what I thought,[1:03:19] but it was racist.[1:03:21] It was too racist.[1:03:22] I imagined Robin Tran going,[1:03:23] this is where I say my goodbyes.[1:03:27] All right, let's listen to this.[1:03:29] I keep cutting this off.[1:03:29] Let's listen to this.[1:03:31] God.[1:03:32] God damn it.[1:03:33] Hoping and empathy.[1:03:34] Everything he said, but it is disgusting.[1:03:36] And by the way, that interview with Bobby Lee[1:03:38] was with another comedian, David Chow.[1:03:40] And this leads into two points I wanna make.[1:03:42] One is one that I've been saying for a long time.[1:03:44] Comedy, standup comedy is full of white supremacy[1:03:48] and toxic masculine behavior.[1:03:50] So as a standup comedian, if you're subscribed to that,[1:03:52] you're not gonna make it.[1:03:53] What?[1:03:54] That's why you see a lot of men of color[1:03:56] align with this kind of humor.[1:03:59] Because they protect each other.[1:04:00] Chris D'Elia.[1:04:00] Like his buddy, Chris D'Elia,[1:04:02] who people in the industry know[1:04:03] he has done things against kids[1:04:05] and even wrote an episode for him about him.[1:04:08] But all these companies,[1:04:09] all they did was take down the episode[1:04:11] and not held them accountable.[1:04:12] And if anybody goes,[1:04:13] Oh, you don't understand standup comedy.[1:04:15] I've been doing it since I was 18 years old.[1:04:18] I have over 12,000 performances[1:04:19] and I'm telling you, that's not comedy.[1:04:21] That's a confession.[1:04:23] Sprinkle down with a few punchlines.[1:04:25] I've tagged other accounts[1:04:26] if you wanna learn more about this.[1:04:29] So let's see this.[1:04:32] And let's go back to Bobby Lee story.[1:04:33] Do we have any time codes?[1:04:34] Yeah. Okay.[1:04:35] Here, here.[1:04:36] Well, yeah.[1:04:37] Four, four, four.[1:04:39] Look at our first time code is four, four, four,[1:04:42] which was even pointed out to me[1:04:43] by the wonderful Jules' dad.[1:04:46] The other day he goes,[1:04:47] I just saw somebody with four, four, four tattooed on them.[1:04:50] I go, well, look at that.[1:04:51] He goes, is that like a...[1:04:53] He thought that was just from our show.[1:04:55] A lot of people think that just from our show.[1:04:57] These three numbers.[1:04:58] These are numbers from time.[1:05:00] These are numbers from the world's history.[1:05:05] Nothing comes from this show.[1:05:07] Get that out of your head.[1:05:08] It's all luck.[1:05:11] So here's Bobby Lee.[1:05:12] He's with Kalila.[1:05:14] You know who I hate on this Bobby Lee Tiger Belly?[1:05:16] This guy.[1:05:17] What's his name?[1:05:19] A Damien?[1:05:19] Something with a G.[1:05:21] Paula or something.[1:05:22] You know, it's like a girl's name.[1:05:25] Paula.[1:05:27] Pauline.[1:05:29] He sucks.[1:05:30] This guy, you know, most...[1:05:31] We should do a whole show dedicated to the audio guys[1:05:36] or producers from other podcasts.[1:05:38] Cause they're really the worst people in the world.[1:05:41] Gilbert.[1:05:41] Is that him?[1:05:42] Gilbert.[1:05:43] And are they all related?[1:05:44] Cause they're Thai.[1:05:47] Nothing makes me sicker.[1:05:48] Or is that George?[1:05:49] Then Thai people coming into this world.[1:05:54] I'm just kidding.[1:05:54] I'm not racist at all.[1:05:56] So here's Bobby.[1:05:57] Here's Kalila.[1:05:58] Let's go to four, four, four.[1:06:00] And listen to what they're talking about here.[1:06:01] And then again, coming up today,[1:06:03] the reason we're doing this is we're going to find out[1:06:08] if today, if Bobby raped this girl, it's a true story.[1:06:12] Or if it's just a joke story, like he's claiming.[1:06:17] Here, listen to this.[1:06:18] But I have to put on the real Bobby Lee version[1:06:22] on for just this first segment.[1:06:24] If you guys don't mind.[1:06:25] I don't mind.[1:06:26] Okay.[1:06:27] So I want to address this Tijuana story.[1:06:33] There's a Tijuana story that I told on opening Anthony.[1:06:36] Don't do this with your fucking head.[1:06:38] Don't do that.[1:06:39] I told many, many years ago on opening Anthony.[1:06:42] And, you know, there's been an uptick, you know,[1:06:47] an uproar about this story.[1:06:49] And I've always wanted to talk about it,[1:06:51] but the people around me were like, you know what?[1:06:54] You didn't do anything.[1:06:55] It'll die down.[1:06:56] But I'm always like, yeah, but I can explain it.[1:06:59] And people were always like, yeah, you know,[1:07:01] I don't think you should, because if, you know,[1:07:04] you don't want to folk, you want people to focus on it.[1:07:07] And, you know, this last couple of weeks have been so bad.[1:07:10] I just, I just need to say something, you know?[1:07:14] And I love that.[1:07:15] So when I hear that these last couple of weeks[1:07:16] have been so bad,[1:07:18] that's exactly where I want comedians to be.[1:07:21] And a lot of them have very bad weeks.[1:07:23] A lot of bad weeks.[1:07:25] Luckily, knock on this desk.[1:07:27] I, my only bad times are when I'm sick.[1:07:30] Otherwise, nothing really bad ever happens to me.[1:07:35] I love hearing that.[1:07:35] I've had a very bad week.[1:07:37] I've had a very stressful week.[1:07:38] And why shouldn't all this free money[1:07:40] come with a little stress in a couple bad weeks?[1:07:44] Why shouldn't it?[1:07:45] You know, they don't deserve technically[1:07:49] to be where they're at.[1:07:50] Most of these guys don't deserve to be where they're at.[1:07:54] So I say, that's why.[1:07:56] That's the rub.[1:07:57] That's what's gonna happen to you[1:07:58] when you really don't deserve all the money[1:08:02] you've gobbled away from these people.[1:08:04] Stuff like this is gonna happen.[1:08:06] It has nothing to do with if you're a rapist or not.[1:08:10] People will find a way to make you a rapist[1:08:14] if you're taking too much money.[1:08:16] It's just the way it goes.[1:08:18] So, okay, he's gonna explain a little bit here.[1:08:20] Do we move forward here?[1:08:21] We let him talk or?[1:08:23] He just kind of tells the story.[1:08:24] I know, I just wanna hear how he's...[1:08:27] What are you saying?[1:08:28] Let's just hear a little bit.[1:08:29] Yeah.[1:08:29] I mean, I think, I mean, it's easily explainable.[1:08:32] And so let's start from the genesis of the beginning.[1:08:35] Okay.[1:08:36] I think the genesis means beginning.[1:08:37] But what is the beginning?[1:08:39] Stop, see, they're having too much fun.[1:08:42] It's too much fun for a very special episode,[1:08:46] which leads me to believe[1:08:47] they're trying to make it seem like, you know,[1:08:51] that's what I would do.[1:08:52] Whenever I'm in a lot of trouble,[1:08:53] I make it seem like everything's fine.[1:08:56] We're having fun, there's flowers.[1:09:01] So remember guys, bits are coverups for crimes every time.[1:09:08] So they're laughing, they're having a good time, okay.[1:09:10] What's the beginning of the beginning?[1:09:12] Oh, you're right.[1:09:12] See, they're doing tangents here.[1:09:13] Okay, Jules, how do we cut to the chase with this?[1:09:16] You can go to like 7.30.[1:09:19] Ooh, 7.30, my old bedtime.[1:09:23] My parents were very strict, they said,[1:09:26] and this is when I was like a senior in high school,[1:09:28] they said 7.30, that's it, that's it, 7.30,[1:09:31] or you're grounded.[1:09:33] And I said, guys, I'm telling you,[1:09:35] none of the other kids, they said,[1:09:36] I don't care about the other kids.[1:09:40] And I said, okay, here we go, 7.30.[1:09:42] Because they were like moving the table to freak me out.[1:09:45] And then there was a man with a bunny rabbit outfit[1:09:48] right outside.[1:09:49] Shocking about Opie and Amp.[1:09:50] And every time I would turn around,[1:09:52] he'd be gone or whatever.[1:09:54] And also the type of, you have to imagine,[1:09:57] it's the best comics on planet earth at the time.[1:09:59] You have Jim Norton, Patrice O'Neill,[1:10:02] Greg Giraldo, Robert Kelly.[1:10:04] And these guys are just like fast, edgy, shocky.[1:10:11] And at the time I was just doing dad jokes and I just left.[1:10:15] And I told the guy, I go,[1:10:16] I don't ever want to fucking do that show ever again.[1:10:19] It's just not my thing.[1:10:21] So then the following year, I go back to Caroline's[1:10:24] and they go, you didn't sell your tickets.[1:10:26] And fucking, you know what I mean?[1:10:28] Opie and Anthony is on the fucking schedule.[1:10:31] And I go, I don't want to do it.[1:10:36] Don't make me do it.[1:10:36] And they go, you have to, right?[1:10:38] I mean, no one's going to come.[1:10:40] And they have a big audience.[1:10:42] So this time I was like,[1:10:44] I'm going to do two things differently.[1:10:47] The first thing I'm going to do is self-deprecation.[1:10:50] Because what happened before is like,[1:10:53] they make fun of you, right?[1:10:55] And so I wanted to get ahead of it.[1:10:56] And I was like, no, I'm going to rip myself apart.[1:10:59] And the second thing I did was,[1:11:01] I'm just going to say the craziest shit they've ever heard[1:11:04] because that's what that show was, right?[1:11:06] You know, you have to understand it was before[1:11:09] cancel culture and the things that we're saying were,[1:11:13] you know what I mean?[1:11:14] At a high level of shock.[1:11:16] And I was just like, you know what?[1:11:17] Yeah, you ate like bull.[1:11:19] Would it be better if I got like a gaming chair[1:11:21] and a pixelated cut out of me and just put me right here[1:11:24] on the bottom of the screen.[1:11:25] And then the whole screen was filled[1:11:27] with just a bunch of blurry, junky imagery.[1:11:29] What do you guys think about that?[1:11:31] Don't allow that anymore.[1:11:35] I saw a mountain mountain every two seconds.[1:11:38] It's got another different way[1:11:39] he's presenting himself in the video.[1:11:42] He's either cut out here.[1:11:44] Sometimes he's over there.[1:11:45] Sometimes he's over there.[1:11:46] It's a mess.[1:11:47] How do these people have the time to do all this?[1:11:49] It's not like Melton has a producer.[1:11:51] Have you ever watched another podcast?[1:11:52] How are they doing all that?[1:11:55] Mersch and all these people.[1:11:57] That's what I mean.[1:11:57] I'm turning into a boomer.[1:11:58] This is where I was going with my boomer story.[1:12:02] Oh yeah.[1:12:03] I had a boomer story about how I am electing to be boomer.[1:12:08] And I think it's good.[1:12:09] I'll tell you this.[1:12:10] Here's what I wanted to tell you.[1:12:11] This is much better than all this fabulous stuff.[1:12:13] Don't worry.[1:12:14] I'll get back to that[1:12:15] and I'll fulfill your need for gossip and drama.[1:12:22] But I think this is a more important thing[1:12:23] to talk about right now.[1:12:25] I have started this thing.[1:12:27] I've been doing it for months and months and months now.[1:12:30] I only check my emails and messages[1:12:36] two times a week.[1:12:39] One and a half times a week.[1:12:40] I've scheduled a day now where I go[1:12:43] and I open my social media and my email for the first time.[1:12:48] Is that a crazy concept to people?[1:12:51] Are people checked?[1:12:52] I mean, I was one of these guys.[1:12:53] You wake up in the morning and immediately you go[1:12:57] to comments, you go to see what it's all going on.[1:13:00] I haven't looked at my phone in about a month.[1:13:03] I don't know if that's bad or good.[1:13:05] I mean, a lot of bad stuff could really happen.[1:13:07] I haven't looked at my bank account in seven months.[1:13:11] This isn't a joke.[1:13:14] I got to say, I like it better.[1:13:16] I wanted to share this with people.[1:13:18] Cause I feel like a lot of people feel like a lot of fear[1:13:21] about being caught up in keeping up with everything.[1:13:26] You know, the emails and messages, it became a thing[1:13:28] where if I wanted to, if I'm trying to keep up[1:13:31] with my messages in real time now and emails[1:13:34] and Instagram and all that stuff, I'm on my phone all day.[1:13:39] I'm just on it all day, fielding questions[1:13:43] and looking at stuff.[1:13:45] And not that that was a problem.[1:13:48] I'm not one of these people where it was a problem,[1:13:50] but I became one of these people where it became,[1:13:54] if you miss three days of looking,[1:13:57] now you've got a hundred things to go back to.[1:14:00] And I don't know about you, my life is changing.[1:14:02] This is what I want to tell you, I'm changing.[1:14:05] I used to love messaging with people.[1:14:09] I used to do it a lot.[1:14:10] You know, I spent a lot of years messaging.[1:14:12] I'd get a high.[1:14:15] I couldn't be more opposite now where if I get a message,[1:14:19] I'll let that thing sit for a month out of fear.[1:14:24] Anybody else?[1:14:25] Anybody else so scared to look through their email?[1:14:31] Cause what's it going to be?[1:14:33] What good is in that email or those questions[1:14:37] or those comments?[1:14:38] No, it's actually, there's really nothing to fear,[1:14:41] but I think it was just becoming too much.[1:14:45] So if you have not heard back from me,[1:14:49] I'm giving myself about one day a week now[1:14:52] to catch up on messages and stuff like that.[1:14:55] And I probably will catch up with you,[1:14:58] but that's why I keep it slim, keep it slim.[1:15:00] You know, I get a lot of guys that just share a meme[1:15:03] or two or something.[1:15:04] I'll go on Instagram and you get about a hundred[1:15:07] of these little things where it's just,[1:15:09] they've shared some kind of meme.[1:15:12] I don't get it.[1:15:14] A lot of guys are saying same.[1:15:15] Same, oh good, I'm glad.[1:15:17] And I wanted to let everybody know,[1:15:19] I've been doing this long enough[1:15:20] that you don't have to worry about anything.[1:15:23] You don't have to be available 24 seven, you just don't.[1:15:29] And I know this is how real people are too.[1:15:31] I mean, real people, she gets a million messages[1:15:33] from her friends and family and it's terrifying[1:15:36] because now you got to really dedicate some time.[1:15:38] If you want to say something thoughtful or something good[1:15:41] you got to dedicate some time and it's very, very hard.[1:15:43] Even when I do this one day a week[1:15:47] after about three messages, I'm going,[1:15:51] okay, got to get in another one here.[1:15:53] And it's turning into like a physical thing.[1:15:57] And I wonder if anybody else has noticed this.[1:15:59] I wonder if this is a new thing for anybody else.[1:16:03] Does anybody else get, you know, terrified?[1:16:06] I got, here's an example.[1:16:08] Coffeezilla, I've been so bad about him.[1:16:12] He'll text me something, Coffeezilla from YouTube.[1:16:15] He'll text me something.[1:16:16] The nicest guy online.[1:16:18] And I'll see it and I'll go, I'm just not in the mood.[1:16:21] And it had nothing to do with him.[1:16:22] I'm just never in the mood to chat anymore, ever.[1:16:27] Ever, ever, ever, unless I'm on stims.[1:16:33] This is my theory.[1:16:35] You know, cause I don't even drink coffee that much anymore.[1:16:38] And I really think 75% of what's going on in the world[1:16:43] is because people are drinking[1:16:45] at the very least too much coffee.[1:16:47] At the very most, too much Adderall.[1:16:51] And I really think that's how everybody's keeping up.[1:16:53] And I feel like if everybody didn't have caffeine[1:16:55] or Adderall, they wouldn't be really that chatty online.[1:17:02] So I wonder, is it, is everybody drinking a lot of coffee?[1:17:05] Cause remember back in the day,[1:17:06] you would drink 12 cups of coffee a day[1:17:09] to keep yourself running.[1:17:11] Remember that?[1:17:12] I think that you used to be chatting with people[1:17:15] all the time when you lived alone.[1:17:17] And now you and me talk all day.[1:17:19] We talk, I burn out everything.[1:17:20] Anything I need to say, I'm fulfilled with talking to her.[1:17:24] And then anything else I have to say,[1:17:26] I'm fulfilled by saying it on this show.[1:17:28] So when I chat with people, it's like...[1:17:31] And you, any interest,[1:17:33] like I have so many other interests[1:17:35] that you don't give a shit about[1:17:36] that I talk about with my friends and my sister[1:17:38] and blah, blah, blah.[1:17:39] But I so lovingly take on all of your interests as my own.[1:17:44] Thank you.[1:17:45] So then you can talk to me about literally anything[1:17:48] and I'll be here to talk back.[1:17:49] And then we're done.[1:17:50] And then it doesn't need to be...[1:17:51] Repeat the conversation to another guy.[1:17:53] Exactly.[1:17:55] I'm very suspicious about people[1:17:56] who are able to talk to other people.[1:17:58] But I've been noticing it's becoming a problem.[1:18:00] I don't know if it's the kratom I'm on.[1:18:03] You know, I take for pain,[1:18:07] I've been using kratom successfully for about a year now.[1:18:11] Kratom, the over the counter,[1:18:15] supplement dirt weed.[1:18:19] And I'll tell you this,[1:18:20] I take mangda in the day and green at night.[1:18:25] And I do not recommend anybody take kratom[1:18:27] unless they're going through terrible pain.[1:18:31] Because my other options are over the counter[1:18:34] pain medication, which is very bad for you,[1:18:36] or you know, opiates, which is terrible for you, right?[1:18:41] Never take an opiate and never take kratom[1:18:44] unless you're dying like me.[1:18:46] I take here, I'll tell you something about me.[1:18:50] I take nine kratoms every five hours.[1:18:56] Nine pills, I think they're about,[1:18:58] I don't know the size, but that's my number.[1:19:01] Nine capsules every five hours.[1:19:06] So you'll see me on here and I took nine capsules[1:19:09] before that, maybe that's changing who I am as a person.[1:19:13] Cause I'll tell you this, when I'm out with people,[1:19:17] it's very hard for me to care about talking to them at all.[1:19:22] I say very little.[1:19:23] I used to be a chatterbox, like I am on the show.[1:19:26] I used to be like this more.[1:19:29] And luckily on the show, I can still yap, yap, yap, yap, yap.[1:19:32] But in person, this is me.[1:19:37] You know, like when you're talking to like your aunt[1:19:40] or something, or like your parents' friend[1:19:43] when you were a kid, and you just kind of feel like,[1:19:47] that's how I am now with everybody.[1:19:50] And it's starting to scare me as I had to come clean[1:19:54] on the show and explain that to people.[1:19:57] Things are changing, having a harder time talking to people.[1:20:01] And that-[1:20:02] But also maybe you're just getting older.[1:20:04] You've said-[1:20:05] I would love that.[1:20:05] I would love if that's the only case.[1:20:06] I would love if me being older and so grumpy[1:20:10] and I've gotten what I needed out of all those conversations.[1:20:15] But I'll tell you this.[1:20:17] I have a very hard time with the messaging[1:20:20] and chatting online, even to people[1:20:22] I really want to talk to.[1:20:25] So don't feel bad if I have not been that great[1:20:32] over messages.[1:20:34] And don't send me a message.[1:20:36] Now that you know this, you go, he's not into chatting.[1:20:39] And it has nothing to do with you,[1:20:40] but it would make my life a lot easier[1:20:42] if everybody just left me be in complete silence.[1:20:49] I like a quiet, listen, I'm telling you,[1:20:50] I just like a quiet-[1:20:51] That's not true either though.[1:20:53] That's not true either though.[1:20:55] That's really not true either.[1:20:56] But I got to start somewhere[1:20:58] and I got to start talking about, I don't go to therapy.[1:21:00] I don't believe in therapy at all.[1:21:02] I don't believe in better help.[1:21:04] I don't believe in talking about your problems.[1:21:07] You know, this is, so I got to get this out there[1:21:09] and see what people say.[1:21:11] Okay, that was just going back there.[1:21:13] Now we can go back to Bobby.[1:21:15] People are saying it's because you're bored of life[1:21:17] and that we need to have a kid.[1:21:18] No, I don't think, I'm not bored of life at all.[1:21:21] I'm actually very interested in life.[1:21:23] And I've got like a million things[1:21:25] that I'd love to be doing.[1:21:26] In fact, I'm doing too much hobby-wise[1:21:30] and really splitting this whole life up[1:21:32] into a million different things.[1:21:33] I'm very, like right now, I'm never bored.[1:21:37] Like if I went home right now,[1:21:39] I've got a choice of nine awesome things to do.[1:21:44] Too many choices.[1:21:48] I'm not bored of life at all, but bored of talking.[1:21:52] I don't want to talk.[1:21:54] On the show, I do.[1:21:55] I mean, it's very weird.[1:21:56] On the show, I like barely say anything all week,[1:21:59] which I think is why this show is so good[1:22:01] because I hold it all in.[1:22:03] I don't blow it on someone else.[1:22:05] You know, it really is like a love,[1:22:07] like a semen.[1:22:11] You know, if you jack off before, it's not the same.[1:22:14] Like try jacking off before you go to the beach.[1:22:17] You're not going to be staring at people[1:22:19] and filming them all day.[1:22:21] But if you save up for a week and then go to the beach,[1:22:24] you're like, oh.[1:22:27] Holy fuck.[1:22:31] You know, you're getting mad at Jules[1:22:32] because she's talking.[1:22:34] You know, you're having all these thoughts.[1:22:36] You're seeing all this.[1:22:37] It could be like an ugly.[1:22:38] The girls don't even have to be that hot at the beach[1:22:40] to go, what the fuck?[1:22:43] You know, you're staring like this, holy fuck.[1:22:46] But if you jacked off right before that,[1:22:49] none of those feelings would be there.[1:22:51] So I think it's the same with talking.[1:22:52] If I don't talk for 19 days, I'll be able to do a show.[1:22:58] And it's very fun.[1:22:59] I like talking here.[1:23:00] I get it all out here.[1:23:03] Interesting.[1:23:03] Just don't feel like you need to be talking to people.[1:23:05] It really isn't gonna do anything for you.[1:23:08] Nobody's got anything that they're saying[1:23:09] is any good either.[1:23:11] You know, people go, blah, blah, blah, blah.[1:23:13] You see these people, you're out at a restaurant.[1:23:15] You see these people fucking chatting each other's ear off.[1:23:18] It's like, are you on pills?[1:23:19] Is that why you're so excited to talk to each other?[1:23:24] They must be on pills.[1:23:25] They're on opposite pills to you.[1:23:27] That's why.[1:23:28] And that's what I mean.[1:23:29] Maybe it's this kratom.[1:23:31] Cause that is a very strong thing.[1:23:34] Well, you're healing your illness.[1:23:37] You're on a health journey.[1:23:38] Maybe you'll be able to cut down on the kratom soon.[1:23:42] But I, like I said, I'm very scared[1:23:44] because since I got sick,[1:23:45] I have not checked Instagram or Facebook messages[1:23:50] since I got sick.[1:23:53] It's been a month away from messages.[1:23:57] One month.[1:23:58] Has anyone spent a month away[1:23:59] from checking their fucking messages?[1:24:02] That's big.[1:24:03] Maybe I'll never check them again.[1:24:06] Do you think of that?[1:24:08] Never again.[1:24:10] That phone brings a lot of fear into my life.[1:24:13] I'm like donkey lips.[1:24:16] I've got a lot of fears.[1:24:18] I mean, people change.[1:24:19] You can't be as full of energy as you were[1:24:22] when you were 25.[1:24:23] I think it's a very important,[1:24:25] especially on a show like this[1:24:26] to anytime you go through a change,[1:24:30] you really should tell people about that change.[1:24:33] If you don't tell people about the change,[1:24:35] then maybe you start dumb.[1:24:38] And I'm talking all day, like all day.[1:24:41] All day.[1:24:42] She don't stop.[1:24:44] Responding to me is enough talking for your entire life.[1:24:48] I think so.[1:24:49] I think that might be what it is.[1:24:51] I'm fulfilled by talking to you.[1:24:53] And the dog I'm talking,[1:24:55] is this my dog by the way,[1:24:56] is turning 18.[1:24:58] He might've already turned 18.[1:25:01] I've got a dog that's fucking 18.[1:25:05] And that doesn't really happen to dogs.[1:25:09] You know, I know-[1:25:10] The oldest dog is 21.[1:25:11] The oldest dog in the world right now is 21.[1:25:14] My dog is 18.[1:25:15] He's not slowing down.[1:25:17] He's just fine.[1:25:18] And that's causing me a lot of weird ideas.[1:25:24] I spend a lot of time talking to my dog, literally.[1:25:28] I mean, I talk to my dog and make him respond all day.[1:25:32] All day, all night.[1:25:33] I can't stop talking to the damn dog.[1:25:35] And I'm growing very close to the dog right now[1:25:37] because it's 18.[1:25:39] He's gonna die any minute.[1:25:40] He could suffer collapse at any time.[1:25:44] How am I gonna get through that?[1:25:46] I don't know.[1:25:46] How am I gonna get through-[1:25:47] I just don't need to stop talking.[1:25:48] Because you're not supposed to be with a dog for 18 years.[1:25:51] 18 years is too much.[1:25:52] They're supposed to die after 12 years.[1:25:55] That gives a man the energy to move on from it.[1:26:01] Can you move on from a dog dying after 18 years[1:26:03] is like a child dying.[1:26:05] That's gonna be a very tough one.[1:26:06] And that's coming up very soon.[1:26:08] I don't like thinking about it at all.[1:26:10] I like thinking about it[1:26:11] because I'm getting a new dog day two.[1:26:13] I'm getting a hit in my stomach.[1:26:15] New dog day two.[1:26:16] But okay, so I spent a lot of time talking to the dog,[1:26:18] a lot of time talking to you, and I'm on the kratom.[1:26:21] And that's why-[1:26:22] A lot of people are saying that it's probably the kratom[1:26:24] and that when they were on kratom,[1:26:26] they barely talked.[1:26:27] Really?[1:26:28] That's, I think it's probably that.[1:26:29] Fuck, and I can't get off of it.[1:26:31] Yes, you can.[1:26:32] Well, I gotta start doing a thing where I take down,[1:26:35] cut down one pill a month,[1:26:37] and it's gonna be another journey getting through that.[1:26:41] Okay.[1:26:42] And he's taking kratom so that he doesn't have to be[1:26:44] on actual opiates for pain.[1:26:46] Yeah, there we go.[1:26:47] Yeah, I'm not taking it for fun.[1:26:48] And by the way, I'm not getting any sort of high off of it.[1:26:52] I'm just getting relief from being in complete hell.[1:26:58] So it's like taking Tylenol.[1:27:01] I don't get a high from it.[1:27:02] It just treats the pain.[1:27:05] But here's the scary part of it.[1:27:07] I've been on it for so long,[1:27:09] and I don't even take that much.[1:27:12] Like it sounds like a lot, nine capsules sounds like a lot,[1:27:14] but you do have to eat a lot of it for it to work.[1:27:18] It's really not that much when it comes down[1:27:20] to how many grams that is or whatever.[1:27:22] But here's the scary part about it.[1:27:25] So my alarm goes off five hours after I've dosed, right?[1:27:29] And I gotta redose every five hours.[1:27:33] If I wait six hours, let's say, you know,[1:27:37] so I take 9 a.m. comes, I take nine, five hours later.[1:27:41] If I don't take nine, I start getting instant withdrawal,[1:27:46] like opiate level withdrawal symptoms[1:27:49] where you're crawling out of your skin.[1:27:52] You want to fucking, ah, ah, ah,[1:27:54] and then you take it and you're fine.[1:27:55] So it's half of this battle is[1:27:58] you can't just stop taking it.[1:28:01] Scary world out there, huh, Bobby?[1:28:04] So yeah, there's that.[1:28:05] But so maybe that is-[1:28:07] He's sleeping beside me right now[1:28:08] and he looks so fucking cute.[1:28:09] I just almost was sick.[1:28:10] He's very sweet.[1:28:11] Thinking about this impending death.[1:28:13] I mean, I'm in a big relationship with my dog right now.[1:28:17] Big, big.[1:28:20] I'm spending a lot of time talking to the dog[1:28:21] and he's going to be 18.[1:28:23] And you know what that means?[1:28:25] It's his choice if he wants to leave or not[1:28:27] and start a new life as an adult.[1:28:30] He can do whatever he wants.[1:28:33] I feel like you could do whatever you want if you're 18.[1:28:36] Okay, back to Bobby Lee.[1:28:39] We're going to find out if this is real or not.[1:28:41] I've got a surefire way.[1:28:42] Everyone is saying you've got this[1:28:44] as far as stopping the kratom.[1:28:46] I know.[1:28:47] Oh, I ain't worried about nothing.[1:28:48] What if you get off the kratom[1:28:50] and then you're back to being super chatty[1:28:51] and then you're too annoying for me?[1:28:54] I know.[1:28:55] I like it.[1:28:56] I am a very old, slow, grumpy man.[1:29:00] It might be, you know, I looked,[1:29:02] I did this testosterone test.[1:29:04] I've got, okay, so here's the scale.[1:29:07] Here's the scale.[1:29:08] This is where you're supposed to be right here.[1:29:11] Here's a scale you're supposed to be like here.[1:29:14] I am negative there.[1:29:17] They say I have no free testosterone.[1:29:21] That's what the doctor said.[1:29:22] He goes, you got to get on this now or you're going to die.[1:29:25] I said, I ain't getting on any pill.[1:29:27] You might go bald.[1:29:29] Did you imagine that?[1:29:30] Okay, we got to get back to Bobby.[1:29:32] People are, believe me, there's news organizations.[1:29:34] The fighter and the kid read it is on the edge of their seat[1:29:36] because I've got the answers to this Bobby thing,[1:29:38] which I have hyped up too much actually.[1:29:41] And when you see how I'm going to get the answer,[1:29:43] you're going to be pretty pissed.[1:29:45] Okay, so Bobby Lee claims the story was made up.[1:29:51] Do I have to play any more of this or?[1:29:53] He just explains that it was a joke, basically.[1:29:55] He just says it was a joke and now it's over, right?[1:29:58] He gets to move on.[1:29:59] He says it was a combination of two of his early bits[1:30:02] and he told it many times when he didn't know what to say.[1:30:04] So that's the thing, it's a joke.[1:30:05] So let's go to the chat now.[1:30:07] Do you believe Bobby Lee?[1:30:10] Let's see, press one if you believe Bobby Lee[1:30:12] it was just a joke.[1:30:13] Press two if you go, no, no, no,[1:30:15] that's a coverup for a real rape.[1:30:17] It's real, the story is real.[1:30:19] Okay, so let's see, one, press one[1:30:22] if you believe him that it was a joke.[1:30:24] Press two if you don't believe Bobby,[1:30:27] it's a rape and he needs to be locked up, okay?[1:30:32] And let's just see what the people say.[1:30:33] I'm very curious to see what the people say.[1:30:35] We've got this beautiful chat room here.[1:30:38] Oh, Salvo, this is the first thing I see when I clam.[1:30:41] Salvo Pancakes just posted on Twitter[1:30:44] that he's gonna kill himself.[1:30:44] That is true, I spoke to him today,[1:30:46] he said today he's gonna kill himself.[1:30:49] So, okay, they're all saying they believe,[1:30:50] oh, look at this, the whole chat room is twos.[1:30:53] The entire chat room is twos, there's not a one in sight.[1:30:57] Well, are you guys being serious?[1:30:59] Oh, there's one one, that's nice.[1:31:00] There's one one, but look at this, nobody believes Bobby.[1:31:03] They think he actually raped the girl in Tijuana,[1:31:05] told the story and now of course,[1:31:08] because that's illegal and he wants all the money,[1:31:11] he's gonna say it's a joke.[1:31:13] That's what they're saying.[1:31:13] So the people do not believe.[1:31:15] I mean, I'm looking at the million twos.[1:31:20] 1.5, it's not rape, but it's wrong.[1:31:24] And again, we could care,[1:31:26] I wouldn't care if they bombed whatever city he was in[1:31:29] with whatever girl was in.[1:31:31] Believe me, if you're not in America,[1:31:32] I do not care about you and if you're in America,[1:31:34] I really don't care about you.[1:31:36] So we got a lot of twos, nobody knows.[1:31:38] Okay, should we try to get to the bottom of this?[1:31:40] Let's get some, is there some music,[1:31:42] some spooky music or something we can play?[1:31:44] This is so dumb.[1:31:46] Let's take a drink first,[1:31:47] but we're gonna find out the truth and here's the deal.[1:31:53] What I love about this, yeah, that's good.[1:31:57] You could cut to me.[1:31:58] What I love about this red bar is it's becoming this thing[1:32:02] where, you know, and Melton got very angry about this.[1:32:04] Did you see Patrick Melton?[1:32:07] We talked about him,[1:32:08] we talked about how we were on his side[1:32:11] with this steel toe morning show beef and we love Melton.[1:32:15] I even got an email from a guy who,[1:32:16] Mike, you can't possibly team up with Melton, no.[1:32:21] I said, okay, but Melton got mad[1:32:25] and I've seen this happen before.[1:32:26] This happened to, who did this happen to?[1:32:28] Brian Barris from Reckless Media Radio[1:32:31] and who else did it happen to?[1:32:32] This has happened to a Mersch.[1:32:35] So this is what happens.[1:32:37] The chat room.[1:32:39] So like in Melton's chat room,[1:32:41] everybody, every time sums up,[1:32:43] well, red bar says this, well, red bar says this[1:32:46] and Mike says this and these other hosts[1:32:50] start getting real annoyed[1:32:53] because they're watching their whole chat.[1:32:54] Not on, like if I was doing the show[1:32:56] and you guys kept bringing up another show and another guy,[1:32:59] I'd start getting annoyed.[1:33:01] So on these other shows, Reckless Media Radio,[1:33:04] this happened to.[1:33:05] This has happened a lot of times in my life[1:33:07] where the fans of these other shows[1:33:09] start bringing me up too much[1:33:12] and the hosts get mad about it, you know?[1:33:15] And they can't really articulate while they're mad.[1:33:17] They don't really know why they're mad,[1:33:19] but then they lash out on me.[1:33:23] What they're really lashing out is,[1:33:26] they got this whole chat room here[1:33:27] that people can't stop talking about me.[1:33:29] Meanwhile, they should be talking about them, right?[1:33:32] So Melton, for example, has got a bunch of people,[1:33:36] what Mike says this about Steel Tail Wall?[1:33:37] We're gonna wait and see what,[1:33:39] I can't wait to see what Mike says.[1:33:41] Let's see what red,[1:33:42] and red bar's kind of known as the final word.[1:33:46] This is what I'm getting to.[1:33:48] And that annoys us.[1:33:49] Melton, yeah, that's what I would say.[1:33:50] He flipped out and he had a whole tantrum about me.[1:33:55] I don't hold it against him at all.[1:33:56] I understand a lot of people were talking about me.[1:33:58] That's very annoying.[1:33:59] So he lashed out.[1:34:00] Brian Barris did this and Mersh did it too.[1:34:03] They're sick of seeing my dang name in the chat[1:34:06] as if I got all the answers and they don't.[1:34:10] So, why can't I have the final word[1:34:15] on this Bobby Lee thing?[1:34:17] I think I might.[1:34:20] And that's how we're gonna do it.[1:34:21] So the world out there right now,[1:34:24] the world is going,[1:34:25] well, we've got Bobby saying that the story's fake,[1:34:28] but who do we believe?[1:34:31] And how do we end this?[1:34:32] How do we come to a proper definitive answer here?[1:34:38] Did Bobby Lee rape this girl or was it a joke?[1:34:40] How do we figure this out?[1:34:44] Well, this is how we're gonna do it.[1:34:45] And everybody has to just go by what happens next.[1:34:50] So whatever happens next is the truth.[1:34:56] And you could rest assured[1:34:57] because it happened on Red Bar.[1:35:01] Mike Red Bar said that this is the truth[1:35:05] and that's gonna be the final truth.[1:35:07] There's gonna be no more arguing about it.[1:35:10] And what we're gonna do is we're going to do this[1:35:13] and this is gonna annoy people I know,[1:35:15] but still aren't we just trying to cut to the chase[1:35:18] and figure out the truth finally once and for all, right?[1:35:20] Isn't that what everybody wants?[1:35:22] Yes.[1:35:22] That's what we're doing.[1:35:23] Here we go.[1:35:28] Cut to the close-up.[1:35:32] The magic eight ball.[1:35:38] Shiny from Mattel.[1:35:44] I found one of these in the back room the other day.[1:35:52] I found one of these in the back room the other day.[1:35:53] I got these all over my house just for situations like this.[1:35:57] And I said, you know what?[1:36:00] The answer will be on Red Bar.[1:36:02] And then that will be the answer, right?[1:36:04] The definitive answer.[1:36:06] So what should the question be?[1:36:09] Cause you really got to get the question right.[1:36:11] Okay.[1:36:12] Did Bobby Lee rape the kid in Tijuana?[1:36:14] Okay.[1:36:15] How about that?[1:36:16] And this is gonna be it.[1:36:17] There's no more arguing after this.[1:36:19] This is just what it is.[1:36:22] Did Bobby Lee.[1:36:23] Nervous for him.[1:36:25] Me too.[1:36:28] Dear.[1:36:28] This is fair.[1:36:29] A hundred percent fair.[1:36:30] This is fair.[1:36:31] This is as fair as it's gonna get at least.[1:36:33] Otherwise it's just, he said, he said.[1:36:36] Did Bobby Lee rape a child in Tijuana?[1:36:42] And here it comes.[1:36:42] You can cut to that close-up.[1:36:45] I don't even see it.[1:36:46] The world's gonna see it first.[1:36:49] What do we got?[1:36:53] What do we got?[1:36:53] Do I have to hold it a certain way?[1:36:55] I'll do it again.[1:36:56] Do you have to hold it up looking at you?[1:36:56] Or do I have to look at it?[1:36:58] Okay.[1:36:59] Did Bobby Lee rape a child in Tijuana?[1:37:08] Getting nothing here, which is very confusing.[1:37:11] What are the rules of the eight ball?[1:37:12] Do you have to hold it a certain way?[1:37:14] I'm getting nothing floating up.[1:37:16] So I'm gonna just wait till the first float up.[1:37:19] I'm getting nothing.[1:37:20] I'm getting corners.[1:37:22] Uh-oh.[1:37:24] Uh-oh.[1:37:27] Okay.[1:37:28] The question was, and this is gonna end it for good.[1:37:30] This doesn't look good.[1:37:32] My question was, did Bobby Lee rape a child in Tijuana?[1:37:38] And see, I don't know if you guys can see.[1:37:39] If I turn it, it's gonna fuck it up.[1:37:41] But it says,[1:37:45] my reply is,[1:37:49] no.[1:37:53] My reply, can you see this?[1:37:55] Look here.[1:37:57] My reply is, no.[1:38:00] Oh my God.[1:38:02] Yes, he didn't do it.[1:38:05] He got off Scott Preece.[1:38:07] Scott Preece, guys, I'm sorry.[1:38:09] Tell the fighter in the kid Reddit[1:38:11] that Redbar said there was no rape.[1:38:15] I mean, trust me, that's not the answer I wanted.[1:38:18] I wanted it to be worse.[1:38:19] I want him to be like, Mike, you have no idea.[1:38:22] And then tell me more.[1:38:23] He did not rape anybody.[1:38:27] There.[1:38:28] We could finally move on.[1:38:30] You know?[1:38:32] I don't know.[1:38:33] It's not up for me to decide.[1:38:35] We'll take a break.[1:38:36] We'll be right back with much more Redbar.[1:38:39] Don't go anywhere.[1:38:40] Our breaks are short.[1:38:41] Show you how to stunt.[1:38:43] Show you how to stunt.[1:38:44] Show you how to stunt.[1:38:45] Show you niggas how to stunt.[1:38:46] Only show you how to stunt.[1:38:48] Show you how to stunt.[1:38:49] What's it in, believe us?[1:38:51] Got slave with money, can't choose which one.[1:38:53] Might go chip something, can't choose which gun.[1:38:56] Don't do no cuffing, go when night come.[1:38:58] No, you can't be my girl.[1:39:00] Bitch, are you dumb?[1:39:02] Never gave a fuck about where niggas from.[1:39:04] Trapper in the truck with a hundred in the truck.[1:39:07] I'm mopping niggas up and I'm headed to Milan.[1:39:09] Gotta catch a flight to get me stuck in your bunk.[1:39:12] Run it up, run it up.[1:39:13] Know them niggas not with us.[1:39:14] She got freckles, I got cookies selling bitches come with us.[1:39:17] Got that house from the hilly lean like a double cup.[1:39:19] Clean like my stubble cut.[1:39:20] And we'll never give a fuck.[1:39:22] Got the power and the blood, PV, serving tennis[1:39:24] like a motherfucking gluck.[1:39:25] If you right, then buckle up.[1:39:27] And if we touch big Gs, big Cs, if you cussing,[1:39:30] throw it down.[1:39:30] Niggas marked out.[1:39:32] Nigga, pipe down.[1:39:33] I don't fight hoes.[1:39:34] I don't buzz down.[1:39:35] I don't like those.[1:39:37] I like big deals.[1:39:38] You ain't got those.[1:39:39] It's a fucking movie with big bros.[1:39:41] I'll show you how to stunt.[1:39:42] I'll show you how to stunt.[1:39:43] I'll show you how to stunt.[1:39:45] Shoot you niggas how to stunt.[1:39:46] On the left side, I'll show you how to stunt.[1:39:48] In the right side, I'll show you how to stunt.[1:39:51] I got a jelly bean Kelly green rose.[1:39:53] And the guts off white like a jalapeno.[1:39:55] Leather hot in her shit.[1:39:57] McNelly sing songs.[1:39:58] Big pearls on the belt make my belly seem swole.[1:40:00] I'm watching cool damage, looking like a extra.[1:40:03] Different colored chest creases hanging from my necklace.[1:40:06] Stone's too heavy, give me redneck tuxes.[1:40:08] I cover it with stars in the closet like my exes.[1:40:11] See, I want 51, bitch, this ain't Alexis.[1:40:13] Third gear got me driving like I got a desk with.[1:40:16] Small Italian town hitting Willys on a Vespa.[1:40:18] Stance on my passport is longer than a lecture.[1:40:21] Ain't take some goddess, I'm explainable, et cetera.[1:40:23] This what the fuck you gonna need if you trying to catch up.[1:40:26] Nigga, I'm a big dog when they hop.[1:40:28] Big beats, big fog, re-parenting that you[1:40:30] leaving in a stretcher, nigga.[1:40:32] Nigga, pipe down.[1:40:33] I don't fight hoes.[1:40:34] I don't buzz down.[1:40:35] I don't like those.[1:40:37] I like big deals.[1:40:38] You ain't got those.[1:40:39] It's a fucking movie with big hoes.[1:40:41] I'll show you how to stunt, dude.[1:40:42] Show you how to stunt, nigga.[1:40:44] Show you how to stunt.[1:40:45] Shrimp your niggas how to stunt.[1:40:46] On the left side, I'll show you how to stunt.[1:40:48] On the right side, I'll show you how to stunt.[1:40:51] They're gonna join us because they can't beat us.[1:40:53] In a motorcade, play follow the leader.[1:40:55] Back the fuck up off my dog.[1:40:57] Let me explain real stuff for you.[1:40:58] Back the fuck up off my dog.[1:41:00] Talk a million dollar pay.[1:41:02] Multi-million dollar auction house.[1:41:06] These the levels you niggas never seen before.[1:41:08] I need to show you how to stunt, nigga.[1:41:11] In the T-Y, come on, motherfucking creator.[1:41:14] Me and Flaco Jordan been getting green by the acre.[1:41:16] Sleeve by Cartier.[1:41:17] Texture is alligator.[1:41:19] Wipe your feet on that Dormac before you speak.[1:41:21] How you tell us that you real but you stay off the myth?[1:41:23] How you got no house keys but you sure off the tech?[1:41:26] How you call that girl a Uber?[1:41:27] Got 10 baby mamas.[1:41:28] How you claim you're freethinking[1:41:30] but be preaching the Bible?[1:41:31] Because all your pusser ass niggas think you're so damn hard.[1:41:33] Because you got a big blower, nigga.[1:41:35] You ain't gone.[1:41:36] Got the same old watch.[1:41:37] I fuck the same old bitches.[1:41:38] Y'all buy the same old car.[1:41:39] Y'all take the same old pictures.[1:41:41] Put the same old threats to the same old business.[1:41:43] See all the gay ones y'all doing to impress those niggas.[1:41:46] But I'm on my my business.[1:41:47] Like exposure's getting tall.[1:41:48] Shock and keep your fingers crossed.[1:41:50] Call me when you're getting lost, bitch.[1:41:55] Call me if you get lost.[1:41:56] I still rub my face.[1:41:57] I don't want nothing in return.[1:41:59] Her body counting who she fucking never my concern.[1:42:02] I'm trying to buy my neighbor house.[1:42:04] We back at it, at it, at it.[1:42:08] She could rub my face.[1:42:09] I don't want nothing in return.[1:42:11] Except for some her time and all her love that's not concerned.[1:42:14] I'm trying to buy my neighbor house and turn it to a y'all.[1:42:17] If you don't know my grandma name,[1:42:19] then we ain't really dogs, bitch.[1:42:21] I shook your hand.[1:42:22] I don't respect.[1:42:22] Don't call me king.[1:42:23] I'm not your twin.[1:42:24] I'm not your brother.[1:42:25] We just met.[1:42:26] See, I won't hurt you.[1:42:27] No Birkin.[1:42:28] Got hobbies.[1:42:29] Got burpees.[1:42:29] All of us.[1:42:30] I'm perfect.[1:42:31] Yeah, Kelly green wagon.[1:42:33] Look better when the blue eye can never shine brighter.[1:42:36] In the dark, I park the whole eye.[1:42:38] The plane fly better when it's just me and the pilot.[1:42:41] Tuition for the mileage is working for the side.[1:42:43] There's no way to.[1:42:45] There he go.[1:42:45] He cast broads like radio.[1:42:47] Shit your lady knows.[1:42:49] It's young D like baby clothes.[1:42:51] And I got that pot.[1:42:52] And I got good dick.[1:42:53] Guap low dick low.[1:42:55] Plus I look good, bitch.[1:42:58] She could rub my face.[1:42:59] I don't want nothing in return.[1:43:01] Because if she get off and I get off, that's my concern.[1:43:04] I'm trying to buy my neighbor house and turn it to a y'all.[1:43:07] If you don't know my grandma name,[1:43:08] then we ain't really dogs.[1:43:10] Bitch, that's a lot of motherfucking necklace.[1:43:13] 5, 6, 7 is a figure for a set list.[1:43:16] Ring ring ring, bitch.[1:43:17] Pick up the funnel.[1:43:18] I don't care if y'all together.[1:43:20] I would tell down to home.[1:43:21] Shit.[1:43:22] I shimmy through Perry and back up in them other threads.[1:43:25] And drive a C to the Enzo Cabello, fit my legs.[1:43:28] And heard you my chaperone, he look out the more ahead.[1:43:31] And I shoot what you overheard, but it's probably what I said.[1:43:34] Bitch, I'm out here living, y'all on the P.[1:43:38] My girl look like Zazie Deef and Khaleed.[1:43:41] I pull up in the what the fuck is that, dog?[1:43:44] It's Mr. Peculiar, that's who I be, who I be.[1:43:47] Niggas telling women how they body's supposed to be,[1:43:50] but never take advice from any nigga with a lean gut.[1:43:54] Keep your chest rocking and my true sense in your pocket.[1:43:56] Your only option, I don't play no motherfucking game.[1:44:00] She could wrap my face, I don't want nothing in return.[1:44:03] And will I ever fall in love again?[1:44:05] I can't confirm.[1:44:06] I'm trying to buy my neighbor house and turn it to a y'all.[1:44:09] If you don't know my daughter name, then we ain't really.[1:44:13] Dog.[1:44:15] After this, you niggas can't say nothing.[1:44:19] Dog truth.[1:44:20] Suckers.[1:44:21] Dog truth.[1:44:22] Dog truth.[1:44:23] Dog truth.[1:44:24] Dog truth.[1:44:25] Dog truth.[1:44:26] Dog truth.[1:44:27] Dog truth.[1:44:28] Walk, dog truth.[1:44:29] Dog truth.[1:44:30] Dog truth.[1:44:31] Dog truth.[1:44:33] Dog truth.[1:44:40] Pardon me.[1:44:42] Excusez-moi.[1:44:47] Yeah, I could've had a better choice.[1:44:50] I mean, what the fuck?[1:44:53] I'm sorry.[1:44:55] We'll be coming back soon.[1:45:25] I had to lie too. Who would need to know if I was by the lake switching tides too?[1:45:29] Anyway, I don't wanna talk.[1:45:31] Sorry if you got it did.[1:45:33] For info I don't wanna get, so you stop and make a bid just to talk about my private life cause you with.[1:45:38] Not that good as shit.[1:45:40] That's none your biz give enough with my alt in your place, my personal space, y'all don't need to be a part.[1:45:45] I'm sorry I don't wanna link.[1:45:47] A small talk over dinner, I don't even drink. Can't get a trip, me, I'm ice cold, no drink.[1:45:52] Nigga, nigga, nigga, wait the road, don't it slow, niggas.[1:45:55] Cool thing in your pocket, this is cool. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Trauma, you ain't special, everybody got problems.[1:46:01] Sorry, I'm not empathetic.[1:46:03] Sorry, you think I'm pathetic. Sorry, I don't wanna bro down.[1:46:06] Sorry, I don't know your pronouns.[1:46:08] I don't need no disrespect, but damn, you just smack, I'm the fuck down.[1:46:11] Oh, I'm out of touch and I'm a jerk.[1:46:13] A bank account could never match my worth.[1:46:15] Get money, hit this arm of the earth.[1:46:17] Polluting air with chemicals and dirt.[1:46:19] These cars ain't gonna buy themselves.[1:46:21] What the hell you think I work for?[1:46:23] Coming back![1:46:28] Hey everybody, some terrible news here during the break.[1:46:32] The first part of the recording did not get recorded. What a buzzkill.[1:46:39] But we've got this TBR feature, so we're all good.[1:46:43] That's what was happening there. But we did not get the first part of the show recorded for one reason or another.[1:46:51] But there will be. We have a copy though, that's all that happened.[1:46:55] Hi, welcome back.[1:46:58] Tyler, the creator, put out some bonus tracks to make some more money. There he is.[1:47:04] Love him.[1:47:06] I got an email from Brian Redband the other day that was very cute. Do we have that email or is that in my phone still?[1:47:12] Oh, I think that's in your phone.[1:47:14] Let me show you this. Of course, we've got the Comedy Mothership. Man, has it been doing so well.[1:47:20] Everybody loves Joe Rogan's new Austin Club, the Comedy Mothership.[1:47:25] And then I heard this, that Brian Redband, listen to this.[1:47:29] Brian Redband, the creator of the Joe Rogan Experience, who now is on Kill Tony and Virtual Redband.[1:47:36] Everybody knows Redband.[1:47:38] Redband also bought or is opening a comedy club two doors down from Joe Rogan called the Sunset Strip.[1:47:48] What is this? Have you heard this?[1:47:50] I have heard it.[1:47:51] Do we have any information about that?[1:47:52] I have a reputable news source, I believe.[1:47:55] Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce you to a new guy you're going to be seeing a lot of around here named Joke World.[1:48:08] Comedy has become so big. Comedy is so big, which just means, you know, I was watching Tim Dylan and Bert Kreischer.[1:48:14] I did not say burnt. I did not say burnt.[1:48:18] Here, let me wash down my panic from the recording not being done with this, OK? We're only human here.[1:48:25] You're doing amazing. You have long COVID.[1:48:28] I have long COVID.[1:48:29] You're healing.[1:48:30] I'm healing. I have long COVID.[1:48:35] I was listening to Tim Dylan and Bert Kreischer talk about how comedy is so big right now that it could actually only get worse and that people are going to start getting sick of it.[1:48:51] And that do we have any clips from that episode? That was pretty good.[1:48:55] I can get one.[1:48:56] See, if you could get that part, they were talking about how comedy is going to become not cool and how the cool kids are going to start hating the comedians.[1:49:06] And then Tim says, I think the cool kids, that's actually that's absolutely right.[1:49:10] The cool kids already do.[1:49:12] I got it. I'll send it.[1:49:13] Yes, I'm not over it. We'll play that. I find that to be interesting.[1:49:16] But comedy is bigger than it's ever been right now.[1:49:18] Stand up comedy.[1:49:21] Everybody's doing arenas, everybody's selling out everywhere.[1:49:24] The podcasts are making millions of dollars and it's a boom, which is exciting because it really could only get worse.[1:49:33] I mean, it can't just keep getting bigger and bigger and bigger, can it?[1:49:36] Especially in Austin.[1:49:38] Are people going to get sick of comedy?[1:49:41] You know, as a person.[1:49:43] And remember, this is Austin, this isn't Los Angeles where people are traveling there from all around the world every single day.[1:49:51] So in L.A. and New York, yeah, maybe you could have comedy every single night.[1:49:56] You could have 20 clubs running every single night.[1:49:59] You're going to be able to fill those seats with travelers.[1:50:04] But aren't the people of Austin going to start having other things to do besides see Joe Rogan and his friends perform stand up comedy four times a night?[1:50:15] Surely they're going to get sick of that.[1:50:17] And what I'm finding out is Joe Rogan not only opened that club there, but I believe he's trying to monopolize the entire city's comedy structure and have him and his friends just open up multiple clubs.[1:50:34] This is a monopoly.[1:50:35] It's a monopoly.[1:50:37] And remember, we already are very disappointed with Joe Rogan's system there where you've got to get your photo taken.[1:50:43] You know, when you get to the club, your phones have to be locked in a bag.[1:50:47] Let's listen to Bert and Tim.[1:50:51] And they had a very business conversation about comedy and the future of comedy and their worries.[1:50:58] Bert seems to think it's got me feeling pretty bad that I'm not doing arenas.[1:51:04] Bert made it seem like if you're not doing arenas, you're really not.[1:51:07] Not like a Zeke Thompson.[1:51:10] Zeke Thompson.[1:51:11] Yes.[1:51:12] Does anyone know if you guys know who Zeke Thompson is?[1:51:15] You can't Google this.[1:51:17] I will give out a twenty five dollar prize to the first person who could tell me who Zeke Thompson is.[1:51:22] That's a good one.[1:51:23] OK, so we're 1 0 1 0 5 0 0.[1:51:27] All right.[1:51:28] Let's listen to these guys.[1:51:29] Bert Kreischer, he's been doing all the podcasts because his new special Razzle Dazzle came out.[1:51:35] How many minutes did we make it into that or did we finish it?[1:51:38] We actually watched the whole thing, but we are on our phones.[1:51:42] Watched the whole thing, but on our phones, I got some.[1:51:46] Guess who else just came out with a special?[1:51:49] Big Jay Oakerson.[1:51:51] I love Big Jay.[1:51:52] You know, Big Jay really likes me.[1:51:55] He really does.[1:51:56] He's a nice guy.[1:51:57] He thinks he's funny.[1:51:58] Big Jay likes me.[1:51:59] Big Jay came out with a special called what is it called?[1:52:02] Big Dog Dog Belly Dog Belly.[1:52:06] Now, don't forget, we watched Bert's whole special on our phones, but it remained on.[1:52:12] OK, sure.[1:52:15] Big Jay's special, however, just came out Dog Belly.[1:52:19] And I have some very upsetting news for Big Jay because we watch every special.[1:52:23] Right. And we want to review them all.[1:52:27] And I usually say, OK, you know, Santino, we made it, you know, 40 minutes in.[1:52:31] Then we had to bail.[1:52:32] Or this guy, we made it 20 minutes in.[1:52:34] Then we had to bail because these things could just be really boring.[1:52:38] You ever watch a stand up comedy special where you turn it on and you go,[1:52:42] I like have not been following for the last 10 minutes.[1:52:45] Like, I cannot pay attention to this.[1:52:47] It's like a teacher talking.[1:52:50] I've got some bad news for Big Jay.[1:52:53] Big Jay, we made it nine minutes, 27 seconds in before having to turn it off.[1:53:00] You could probably prove it with your YouTube.[1:53:02] I could prove it by showing you the YouTube where we tuned out.[1:53:06] It'll probably be still queued up there.[1:53:08] So sorry, Big.[1:53:10] That was so unbelievably boring.[1:53:14] We literally like he's just sitting on a stool going, yeah, black chicks, huh?[1:53:19] Yeah.[1:53:20] It wasn't because it was boring.[1:53:21] You dating any black chicks?[1:53:23] It's not because I'm not interested in Big Jay's perspective,[1:53:25] but the second they start doing crowd work in their special and being like,[1:53:30] is that a white chick and a black guy together?[1:53:33] Are you with a black chick?[1:53:34] Well, do they even have any perspective, half of these guys?[1:53:37] That's the real problem.[1:53:38] They're really not telling you anything that you need to hear.[1:53:41] If Big Jay was telling me a story, maybe I could go to 40 minutes, you know?[1:53:45] Maybe.[1:53:46] But we cut out, yeah, nine minutes.[1:53:48] So Bert's got a new special.[1:53:50] Everybody's got a new special.[1:53:52] Bert's doing his tour now where he's on every podcast known to man to promote it.[1:53:56] And he's here with Tim Tilling.[1:53:58] They had a very industry driven conversation where they say this.[1:54:04] Boys.[1:54:05] And they're not going to be ready.[1:54:06] It's the last comic standing paraboli, parable, parable, parable,[1:54:10] is where these guys could do five minutes, 10 minutes.[1:54:13] And then you're like, holy shit, that's the guy.[1:54:15] And then they blow it during an hour.[1:54:17] They blow it.[1:54:18] Well, they can't sustain.[1:54:20] So does this comedy boom that we're in right now, does it end?[1:54:24] Does it kind of, is it the result of we're out of the pandemic and everything?[1:54:28] But do you see it ever contracting and going, you know, kind of getting smaller?[1:54:32] It has to.[1:54:33] It seems like it inevitably has to.[1:54:35] I was saying this earlier.[1:54:36] It's going to start when the cool kids start hating us.[1:54:40] Yeah.[1:54:41] They probably already do.[1:54:43] I think they definitely are.[1:54:44] Yeah, yeah.[1:54:45] I'm going to take that as we do.[1:54:47] Yeah, yeah, yeah.[1:54:49] That's pretty insightful.[1:54:51] They got that one on the money.[1:54:52] It's very rare that these guys get this insightful and get it right.[1:54:57] It's going to stop when the cool kids start hating us because that's kind of what happens.[1:55:01] Things get too big.[1:55:03] And then there's another group of people who goes, oh, I can't stand this shit, which is us.[1:55:09] But I think you're going to start seeing that more.[1:55:11] I think this new generation of TikTok kids and all these kids, they're going to look at these guys as these dusty, old, corny boomers.[1:55:21] And it is going to fade away.[1:55:24] Right.[1:55:25] Let's hear some more.[1:55:26] Yeah.[1:55:28] They probably already do.[1:55:30] I think they definitely are me.[1:55:31] They definitely are.[1:55:32] The cool kids hate them.[1:55:36] Some of them like me, I think a little, but I feel like that's ending too.[1:55:40] Yeah.[1:55:41] I mean, by the way, I celebrate it.[1:55:44] I bring it.[1:55:45] I'm a fan of fucking comedy.[1:55:46] That's the thing.[1:55:47] They have to hate us.[1:55:48] Dude, when Nirvana told Miley Crue to go fuck themselves.[1:55:51] That's the thing.[1:55:52] That's right.[1:55:53] Right.[1:55:54] When the first comic that's like.[1:55:55] One of these kids at the mothership is going to smack me in the face with brisket and then just get on stage and replace me.[1:56:02] I mean, that's the thing is like.[1:56:04] I mean, it's a gangster fucking move and not to like.[1:56:07] And that's what I mean.[1:56:08] And that's what I mean.[1:56:09] Joe Rogan could be actually killing comedy right now.[1:56:13] He could.[1:56:14] He could destroy it all.[1:56:17] It could happen.[1:56:18] And I'm very excited for that.[1:56:19] So there's this.[1:56:20] And then this happened.[1:56:22] So, you know, I hear this and then I hear about the success of the comedy mothership.[1:56:26] And then I hear Brian Redband is opening his own club.[1:56:30] Which is very weird.[1:56:31] I thought kill Tony.[1:56:33] I thought the comedy mothership was home of kill Tony now, which I think we have some footage of how that went.[1:56:39] Right.[1:56:40] We've never discussed that.[1:56:41] The first kill Tony at comedy mothership.[1:56:44] That was rough.[1:56:45] The first one.[1:56:46] The second one got a little less.[1:56:50] This is good because we found a new guy and I think I'm going to be checking in with this guy quite a bit.[1:56:58] You heard me say his name before.[1:57:01] He goes by joke world.[1:57:04] You got to meet this guy.[1:57:06] Wait till you see this guy.[1:57:07] Joke world.[1:57:08] Here he comes.[1:57:10] It's a YouTube channel.[1:57:11] Like I said, comedy is as big as everything.[1:57:14] Got all these YouTubers now who cover comedy.[1:57:18] No one does it like joke world.[1:57:20] In fact, I've got an invitation for joke world after I show you who he is.[1:57:25] Here he is.[1:57:26] Joke world.[1:57:27] Which one should I do this first video here?[1:57:28] That's joke worlds video.[1:57:29] Here's joke world.[1:57:30] Wait till you meet joke world.[1:57:31] I'm going to just let it play and everyone must subscribe to joke world.[1:57:37] So joke world is kind of like if red bar was into comedy.[1:57:43] OK, that's how I look at joke world.[1:57:45] Ladies and gentlemen, joke world.[1:57:49] You're going to love this guy.[1:57:53] Joe Rogan's new comedy club in Austin, Texas, is still making big waves in the news.[1:57:57] After opening just three weeks ago, everyone from comedy fans to the big time comics themselves have been in awe at what Joe's been able to create in Austin.[1:58:04] But it looks as if there's already some new competition moving in next door.[1:58:08] It was announced.[1:58:09] OK, there he is.[1:58:11] You see this kid?[1:58:12] He does stand up comedy news now.[1:58:18] He's not just anybody.[1:58:20] This kid is serious.[1:58:22] This kid is very serious about his career covering stand up comedy news.[1:58:26] Probably more serious than a lot of commentators are.[1:58:29] I think he's going to be big.[1:58:31] Has anybody seen joke world in their suggestions?[1:58:34] You must subscribe.[1:58:36] I'll let him explain with this Brian Redband thing and you'll get to know joke world in the process.[1:58:42] Look at this.[1:58:43] Joe Rogan's new comedy club in Austin, Texas, is still making big waves in the news.[1:58:47] After opening just three weeks ago, everyone from comedy fans to the big time comics themselves have been in awe at what Joe's been able to create in Austin.[1:58:54] But it looks as if there's already some new competition moving in next door.[1:58:58] It was announced last week on Instagram that another very well-known figure in comedy, who's a personal friend of Joe's,[1:59:03] and even moved from L.A. to Austin with Rogan back in 2020, is opening up their own club in Austin as early as next week.[1:59:09] This crazy kind of situation you haven't even seen before.[1:59:13] Down the block, there's the Volts.[1:59:14] Another block away, there's the Creek.[1:59:16] There's another comedy club that's coming up a couple blocks.[1:59:18] So in this one space, you can pop around and do five or six spots.[1:59:23] Only New York can you do that.[1:59:25] You can't do that in L.A.[1:59:26] The place is called Sunset Strip Comedy Club.[1:59:28] And honestly, I hadn't heard a thing about this new mystery venue,[1:59:31] which is why I was so surprised to find out that not only is this place about to officially open right after the mothership,[1:59:36] but the new owner of this club is none other than Joe Rogan's day one right-hand man, Brian Redban.[1:59:43] Congratulations, Brian Redban.[1:59:49] Isn't this something Brian Redban opening up his own club?[1:59:53] Let's hear some more.[1:59:54] Let's hear some more and then I'll tell you what Brian said to me.[1:59:56] Scrammed Saturday with the caption reading, quote,[1:59:58] Cats out of the bag, proud to announce I'm one of the new owners of the Sunset Strip, the newest comedy club about to open in Austin, Texas.[2:00:04] Now, I don't actually think there's a rivalry brewing here between the Sunset Strip and the mothership.[2:00:08] If anything, Redban's been very supportive of Joe and his new club over the past few weeks.[2:00:12] Plus, even if they were to go head to head, it wouldn't really be a fair fight.[2:00:15] Joe Rogan's apparently using all of his resources to pay workers and comedians incredible sums of money that were previously unheard of in this field, making it almost impossible for any club.[2:00:25] Incredible sums of money.[2:00:27] He's paying.[2:00:29] What Joe Rogan is trying to do is whatever your average comedy club pay is, however they however the average comedy club treats their person, he's just going to do it a little bit better.[2:00:40] OK, which is what you should do when you start a business.[2:00:43] Otherwise, what's the point? You got to do it a little bit better than the last guy.[2:00:47] So that's all he's doing. But we've heard these rumors that he's paying.[2:00:51] He doesn't want to talk about them.[2:00:53] The other comics have started saying he's paying every comic like a lot of money, you know, to perform more money than they would get paid.[2:01:02] Double the money that they'd get paid anywhere else, which has got a lot of people excited.[2:01:07] They love that fucking money.[2:01:09] Comics love cash.[2:01:12] New or old to try to compete with Joe.[2:01:14] A lot of people don't even know this about the club. It's like Rogan's like, I don't even care if it makes money.[2:01:19] I just want to break even. You can't compete with that.[2:01:22] I just want it. I just want to break even.[2:01:27] Think about that.[2:01:29] He doesn't need to make money. Dude, he won't let me say what it is, but he said I could talk kind of about it.[2:01:35] This guy, he's like, I'm not a comedian, but I respect it's getting sickening, isn't it?[2:01:42] All these people are like pretending they're into comedy like Joe Rogan will have on like this is that guy who does the politics show with Crystal Ball.[2:01:49] Crystal Ball's co-host.[2:01:52] It's like you might think this is a disease. This could be or not as he is a cash.[2:01:57] This is another type of a cash here.[2:01:59] And by the way, cautious from Andrew Schultz's show is selling his own sneakers.[2:02:04] Now you see me send those over to I'll show you these sneakers.[2:02:07] We'll see if we can hurt the company in any way.[2:02:10] Harass the company that is selling these racist sneakers.[2:02:15] But look at this guy. He's just some newsman from the Rogan universe.[2:02:19] You know, Rogan brought this guy. What is the name of that stupid show?[2:02:22] These two do him and Crystal Ball.[2:02:25] What's that? Breaking points, I think.[2:02:28] It's basically just the Young Turks.[2:02:31] It's that kind of corny ass. He's Republican and she's liberal.[2:02:36] Wow. To come together.[2:02:38] It's going to be wild. How are they ever going to agree on anything?[2:02:42] You might think that you can't have a conversation anymore, but you can't.[2:02:46] I like a show that is a conversation between one side and the other.[2:02:50] Never been done?[2:02:52] I put on the other day when I first woke up this video that was like Brian Callen had two guys on to debate.[2:02:59] Yeah. People like this idea.[2:03:02] The whole video played and I don't remember a minute of it.[2:03:04] And it was him between these two 80 year olds who were like, well Brian.[2:03:08] People love this idea where they're going to get on one guy from the left, one guy from the right.[2:03:13] They're going to change the world here.[2:03:15] You can't listen.[2:03:16] And it's gotten to the point where Andrew Schultz really has no business having a guy like this on his show.[2:03:22] But you know what's funny? All these types of guys, these little reporter creeps and all these Matt Taibbi's.[2:03:28] They've been sucking Joe's ass so hard and they all pretend that they're so interested in the comedy.[2:03:34] And oh my God, it's so astonishing how artful you guys are.[2:03:38] Well, I think Matt Taibbi is going to regret making friends with Joe.[2:03:42] It's served him nothing but harm.[2:03:45] Well, they'll never learn.[2:03:47] All right, let's play some more. This is joke world.[2:03:49] And I wanted to really introduce this joke world character.[2:03:53] If you guys could do me a favor and start DMing this joke world, get into his comments.[2:03:58] Tell him Mike from red bar is watching you right now.[2:04:03] Live on his show.[2:04:04] This is big for you.[2:04:06] Come up with anything you want.[2:04:07] You could scare him.[2:04:08] You could lie to him.[2:04:09] You could tell him it's his big break.[2:04:11] Whatever you want.[2:04:12] I need to know that joke world is tuned in to me being obsessed with him.[2:04:18] I want to hire him.[2:04:20] Well, that's what we're going to address here after we let's see joke world.[2:04:24] Let's introduce the people to joke world and then we'll see.[2:04:26] Maybe we're going to hire joke world to come work for us based on his performance.[2:04:32] I might have to watch him perform again to see if he's any good.[2:04:36] Here we go.[2:04:37] It's bananas, bro.[2:04:38] Bananas.[2:04:39] It's like it's just complete game changer.[2:04:42] I don't know.[2:04:43] Did somebody say bananas?[2:04:47] Get it, guys.[2:04:50] Listen, bro.[2:04:52] Bananas.[2:04:53] It's bananas.[2:04:54] And then it cuts to him.[2:04:55] You want to see that again?[2:04:56] Watch.[2:04:57] But the way that he's paying comments, it's bananas, bro.[2:05:00] Bananas.[2:05:01] Bananas.[2:05:03] I never saw one of those before.[2:05:07] Kill him.[2:05:08] No, no, no.[2:05:09] Don't kill him.[2:05:10] Okay.[2:05:11] All right.[2:05:12] Yeah.[2:05:13] Joke world.[2:05:14] Here he is.[2:05:15] It's just complete game changer.[2:05:16] I don't know how the other clubs will react because they're in it to make money.[2:05:21] Right?[2:05:22] And he's.[2:05:23] How could Akash look at new Akash?[2:05:26] Like, Akash is literally sitting there looking at himself in a suit.[2:05:31] How are they not the same exact guy?[2:05:34] Same frame.[2:05:35] Same weak ass frame.[2:05:37] They weigh less pounds than me.[2:05:39] These two put together.[2:05:40] These Akash guys.[2:05:41] There's nothing worse than that, isn't there?[2:05:43] What did we just see with India?[2:05:45] Jewel showed me a video in India where they're literally serve the food on the cement concrete[2:05:50] street and the Indians eat off the street.[2:05:53] I knew it.[2:05:54] I knew they were doing shit like that.[2:05:56] I really did.[2:05:57] I find videos like that from guys whose Twitter pictures are of like a Greek sculpt.[2:06:02] Yes.[2:06:03] If you ever seen a guy who's got a Twitter bio of a Greek, Greek sculpture, but with[2:06:07] like laser red eyes, those guys are where I go to, to figure out what's what.[2:06:14] I love those guys.[2:06:16] Um, okay.[2:06:17] Akash and Akash and Akash is getting jealous here.[2:06:20] He's looking like a real scrub compared to the new Akash.[2:06:25] Politics Akash.[2:06:27] Oh, look at this guy.[2:06:30] Are you allowed to shoot out a person's teeth with a gun?[2:06:35] Yes.[2:06:36] And it was a hollow point cling sound as a Terran tactical when you shoot the time.[2:06:41] Yeah, we should get the Terran tactical dings on there.[2:06:44] Um, did I tell everybody that I switched to hollow points for all my guns?[2:06:48] They said they could go through or kill an intruder better.[2:06:52] Interesting.[2:06:53] Isn't that funny?[2:06:55] The bullet brand.[2:06:56] They're, they're writing on the side of the box about how it could kill a guy better than[2:07:01] using, let's say ammo that you would use at the range, which I was using for several years.[2:07:08] I have no idea.[2:07:09] I don't know what these bullets are.[2:07:10] I don't look into the bullets.[2:07:12] I figured a bullet is, is a bullet, but now I got hollow points.[2:07:17] You should have seen me.[2:07:18] I shot a pine cone.[2:07:19] Remember that Jules?[2:07:20] I shot a pine cone.[2:07:22] Do you remember that?[2:07:24] No, no, no.[2:07:25] Okay.[2:07:26] We're at this, uh, listen to this story about me.[2:07:28] We're out in a legal forest where you could shoot guns and I got on this brown leather.[2:07:36] Very nice.[2:07:37] Kind of like this.[2:07:38] Very nice leather, very expensive brown holster.[2:07:42] Very Crowder.[2:07:43] And right here, not very Crowder at all.[2:07:46] Okay.[2:07:47] I got a brown leather holster, the same one that Crowder probably has.[2:07:51] And in this side here, I got a big ass heavy six shooter.[2:07:58] I don't know what brand, big revolver, right?[2:08:02] It's the one where you go like that.[2:08:09] Now you see, I know all the mood.[2:08:12] I'm wearing this thing.[2:08:14] So when I go to like a nature preserve, the first thing I do is I strap myself with as[2:08:17] many guns as possible.[2:08:19] And I'm like, let's go because it's legal, you know, like to me, and it's so weird now,[2:08:27] like we'll go to the forest preserve or something for a barbecue.[2:08:30] We have these beautiful parks and forest.[2:08:32] What are they called?[2:08:33] Not a forest preserve.[2:08:34] What is it?[2:08:35] A national park.[2:08:36] We're surrounded by beautiful national parks.[2:08:38] And a lot of times for lunch, what I'll do is I'll grab a steak.[2:08:42] We'll head over to a national park and we'll grill the steak there on some match,[2:08:47] light charcoal, and we'll eat lunch in the park.[2:08:52] But in order, whenever I go in, in one of these parks, I load up on weapons as if we're going in,[2:08:59] we're going out in the woods here and the girls never want to do it.[2:09:04] No one ever wants to do it with me.[2:09:05] So I got this big six shooter here.[2:09:07] And then in the other side, here's how you know,[2:09:09] you want to do it with him because he always forgets ear protection.[2:09:12] So you have to.[2:09:13] I don't forget it.[2:09:14] It's in the bag.[2:09:15] You forget it.[2:09:16] You forget to put it on.[2:09:17] I don't need ear protection.[2:09:18] I've blown out my ears.[2:09:19] I learned that the hard way.[2:09:21] Where did I learn that?[2:09:22] Where I was deaf.[2:09:23] I could barely hear anything.[2:09:25] That's why the waitresses always could hear what I'm saying.[2:09:27] You should hear what happened.[2:09:28] So I've got the holster on my right.[2:09:30] The holster looks like this, but leather here.[2:09:33] Imagine this.[2:09:34] See, you could really imagine that's a holster, right?[2:09:36] That's on both sides.[2:09:38] On this side.[2:09:39] So I got the big six shooter here on this side.[2:09:41] I got two speed loaders with 12 rounds total.[2:09:47] Six and six or it could be five.[2:09:48] I don't even know if I got a six shooter or a five shooter.[2:09:52] I didn't actually ever.[2:09:53] I literally don't know.[2:09:55] He can't count.[2:09:56] He can't count.[2:09:58] What's that from?[2:09:59] You're saying I can't count.[2:10:01] I can't count.[2:10:02] So I got it.[2:10:03] It's either a it's a revolver big.[2:10:07] Really nice looking.[2:10:08] That's how I picked it too.[2:10:10] I went like this.[2:10:11] This is me at the counter of the gun.[2:10:14] I'll just take that one.[2:10:15] Do you know anything about it, sir?[2:10:17] It's the best looking one here.[2:10:18] Just give me it now.[2:10:22] It takes way too long to get a gun, by the way.[2:10:26] You know, it's really deterring me for getting as many guns as I want.[2:10:29] Go into the gun store here.[2:10:31] You think it's easy.[2:10:32] You go out.[2:10:33] You just walk into a gun store.[2:10:34] You are seated at a computer at the end of picking out your guns.[2:10:39] And that takes about eight hours because have you ever been to a gun shop?[2:10:42] The salesmen are awful.[2:10:45] They'll walk into that back room a thousand times and they'll be like, OK, yeah, I got it here.[2:10:49] I got it here.[2:10:50] Let's go ring you.[2:10:51] Let's go ring you.[2:10:52] Oh, wait, I need to find a little tag or a note.[2:10:56] And they keep walking back.[2:10:58] Have you ever done this?[2:10:59] Eight hours in and out.[2:11:01] And then they sit you at a computer and you have to ask questions like, do you want to kill a bunch of gay people tomorrow?[2:11:07] No.[2:11:08] Do you think black people should be allowed to be shot?[2:11:11] No.[2:11:13] OK.[2:11:14] But it takes far too long and the mouse on that computer slows people down, too.[2:11:18] So you do have a lot of time to think about killing somebody.[2:11:24] There was a guy at the gun shop the last time we went and he was with his mom.[2:11:28] He was probably 16 years old.[2:11:30] He was with his mom, body trying on a body armor Kevlar like this fall.[2:11:39] And it was really aggressive.[2:11:40] It was very tactical, like tactical body armor that like covered the neck.[2:11:46] The chest was not a case with his mom.[2:11:49] As if they're picking out his birthday gift.[2:11:53] Sixteen years old.[2:11:56] Still waiting for him to take action.[2:11:58] I'm sure it's coming on the second side of my holster.[2:12:02] I got two speed loaders.[2:12:03] You know what those are?[2:12:05] Just little circle.[2:12:06] You load the bullets into it and when you're ready, you flip open your gun, you take the speed loader and it puts in all five or all six bullets.[2:12:14] And once you pull that out, you're back.[2:12:18] So I shot.[2:12:19] Listen to this.[2:12:20] Right as we got to the forest preserve, I throw a pine cone.[2:12:24] It lands on a rock.[2:12:25] I go, and I got both of them.[2:12:30] And they go, Whoa, that's pretty cool.[2:12:31] Then I take out another gun that I just got a really expensive laser pointer put on.[2:12:39] And I go, I can't wait to try this laser pointer.[2:12:41] I got a pine cone and I got the laser engaged and it's right in the middle of the pine cone.[2:12:45] I go.[2:12:48] And it misses.[2:12:49] And I go, what the heck?[2:12:52] We set up another pine cone.[2:12:53] Lasers right on it.[2:12:54] I'm like this.[2:12:56] I know I've never done this.[2:12:58] This is me.[2:12:59] Ow, my arm.[2:13:02] And I couldn't hit it either.[2:13:04] I throw the gun to Jules wildly like this.[2:13:07] Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.[2:13:09] She grabs it.[2:13:10] She goes.[2:13:13] Misses.[2:13:15] So if you ever want to get me, make sure it's, I've got that laser gun.[2:13:20] I won't be able to hit anything.[2:13:23] Luckily, the knee is right below the heart.[2:13:26] I haven't even practiced shooting once because I assume this laser was like a guarantee.[2:13:31] Yeah.[2:13:32] You just think aim the laser and then it's going to go where the laser is.[2:13:35] But turns out that's not the case.[2:13:36] So come get me now.[2:13:38] Not the case at all.[2:13:40] But other than that, we practice maybe once every seven months for two seconds.[2:13:44] Ow, our ears.[2:13:46] Ow, our ears.[2:13:48] These guns are scary.[2:13:50] What gets me scared is when a gun is out of bullets.[2:13:54] I don't know what to do after that.[2:13:55] I have to take it to the gun store to have them reload that for me.[2:13:58] I have no idea how to load.[2:14:00] I was putting bullets in the bear gun.[2:14:03] So I flipped open a gun that's supposed to have this push in thing with the bullets.[2:14:07] And I just started dropping the bullets in there.[2:14:08] And then I put a piece of tape over the bottom.[2:14:10] And I went, did nothing.[2:14:13] I almost died.[2:14:15] I wasn't ready for my intruder.[2:14:18] I actually do have a lot of death threats and intruders after me.[2:14:22] I really do.[2:14:23] It's crazy.[2:14:24] None of them will win.[2:14:26] None of them will win.[2:14:27] I have so many guns.[2:14:28] All right.[2:14:29] Back to joke world.[2:14:30] We got to watch all the joke.[2:14:31] Remake of that classic Ethan and Hila video where they go out shooting a shot for shot[2:14:36] remake.[2:14:37] Oh yeah.[2:14:38] Hila went out shooting once when they thought they were big time gun guys.[2:14:43] Yeah, that's right.[2:14:44] A lot of fags do guns too.[2:14:46] It doesn't make you right wing or cool.[2:14:48] A lot of fag guys do guns too.[2:14:50] And I'm sick of it.[2:14:52] I refuse to train.[2:14:53] I anti train.[2:14:54] I want to be as loose as possible on the field when I'm out there with my weapon, my firearm.[2:15:00] That's what I call it.[2:15:01] I go, do you have my firearm?[2:15:02] I say this in a loud bar.[2:15:04] Do you have my firearm?[2:15:08] Um, and also what I hate about wearing straps is it just pulls my t-shirts down like this[2:15:14] and you don't have to wear that.[2:15:16] I like wearing a gun.[2:15:19] It makes me feel nice.[2:15:20] I like it a lot.[2:15:21] Um, it looks really stupid.[2:15:22] I got this big bulge sticking out of here.[2:15:25] I'll put like a giant gun in my pants, but I'm just wearing tiny ass little five inch[2:15:31] swim trunks, you know, like they don't even have a string to tie them together.[2:15:36] So my pants are like sagging with this huge gun that just keeps drooping down the swim[2:15:41] shorts.[2:15:42] He brought it to the Taylor Swift concert.[2:15:44] Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.[2:15:46] I could have.[2:15:47] I'll tell you this.[2:15:48] Let me tell you this.[2:15:49] We could have brought a gun right into the Taylor Swift concert.[2:15:51] I could have aimed and taken away your security was horrible.[2:15:57] Well, they make you bring in, listen to this.[2:16:00] You're not allowed to have a purse.[2:16:01] You have to have a clear bag.[2:16:04] And we were really worried that they were going to take away our puffers at the concert.[2:16:08] So I buried my puffer in her little change purse and then covered it.[2:16:13] I went and I bought quarters and I covered the puffer this because if I don't have this,[2:16:18] I'm not even alive.[2:16:19] I covered this in quarters thinking that they're going to open it.[2:16:22] They're going to take away my contraband.[2:16:25] It was, and they make you buy a clear purse.[2:16:28] If you want to bring a person as a girl, you got to buy a clear bag at a stadium.[2:16:32] Now that's the rule.[2:16:35] We could have, we could have loosely wrapped a gun in Kleenex and put it in the clear bag and walked right through.[2:16:44] I mean, they literally, you give your clear bag to a guy who holds it for you.[2:16:48] As you walk through a metal detector, he doesn't check the clear bag.[2:16:53] I watched.[2:16:54] They didn't check anybody's clear bag.[2:16:55] I could have, and I can't believe this.[2:16:58] We might go back.[2:16:59] I could have killed Taylor Swift and I was asking her if that's worth it.[2:17:05] If you can, do you take that opportunity to just do it to see?[2:17:09] Because it would drive the world nuts.[2:17:11] Nobody has been killed like that in a long time.[2:17:14] This is joking Taylor.[2:17:15] This is joke world comedians abound.[2:17:19] Did you hear my take on the black guys?[2:17:21] They better improve.[2:17:23] She's unsafe right now.[2:17:25] She's unsafe is what I'm saying.[2:17:26] And I tested this theory.[2:17:28] I did not bring a gun, but my puffers got in, which could be tiny guns.[2:17:31] Look at this.[2:17:33] I didn't bring in any drugs or any of my usual concert things.[2:17:37] Cause I was so scared to get kicked out.[2:17:39] We didn't bring in anything that was bad at all.[2:17:42] We could have brought it all bongs, drugs, pills, combos.[2:17:49] Not the snack, not the snack combo.[2:17:54] I got to introduce you to this whole joke world guy.[2:17:57] I want you to see how a full joke world.[2:18:00] Cause he's going to be like a big part of our universe here.[2:18:05] And I hope you guys are already subscribed to a guy like this.[2:18:08] Here he is.[2:18:09] Joke world.[2:18:10] You might be mad because Rogan will still perform at your venue.[2:18:12] It's like Robin Hood shit.[2:18:14] He took money from Spotify and is literally distributing it to comics in an insane way.[2:18:19] That's amazing.[2:18:20] Obviously Joe Rogan and Brian Redban are good friends.[2:18:22] And with the way that Joe talks about spreading the love and helping others within your community,[2:18:26] it wouldn't even shock me if Rogan helped Redban open this club.[2:18:29] To me, it seems like history is about to repeat itself.[2:18:31] The same way no comedian had a podcast until Joe Rogan changed comedy by telling everyone to start their own show,[2:18:36] we might be living through the next notable change right now,[2:18:39] where all the biggest comics in the world have their own clubs with their own rules.[2:18:42] All the biggest comics are going to have their own club with their own rules.[2:18:47] That's where joke world's imagination has taken him right now.[2:18:50] He thinks that's what's coming next.[2:18:52] This is great for us.[2:18:53] Every comedian has their own comedy club.[2:18:56] You know, I just watched another comedian earlier.[2:18:58] Yeah, it was Bert.[2:18:59] It was Bert again.[2:19:00] I've been seeing a lot of Bert this week because of his special.[2:19:03] Bert was saying that he loves hecklers.[2:19:07] And he said, you know what he said?[2:19:09] He said, dude, it's TikTok gold.[2:19:12] If you could get like a heckler going after you on stage.[2:19:15] Let's do it, boys.[2:19:17] He's welcoming it, which was very funny because his friend, Joe Rogan,[2:19:21] all of a sudden hates hecklers.[2:19:23] Hecklers will be annihilated, right?[2:19:26] No heckling.[2:19:28] That's what they say at the beginning of the comedy mothership.[2:19:30] They have a man come on.[2:19:31] He goes, everybody get in your seats now.[2:19:33] There is no heckling.[2:19:36] There are no photos.[2:19:39] It's like, OK, this sounds like a lot of fun.[2:19:43] But wouldn't that be great if every comedian opened their own comedy club?[2:19:48] And this lets me introduce you to the imagination.[2:19:50] The imagination of joke world joke world is as hopeful as I am cynical.[2:19:55] Joke world is imaginative in a positive way as I am in the negative.[2:20:02] So I want you to really see this joke world.[2:20:05] And then we're going to see if we could kind of scoop joke world into our universe here.[2:20:12] And see how far we could go with this joke world.[2:20:16] I'll tell you why that's important.[2:20:18] In a podcast, until Joe Rogan changed comedy by telling everyone to start their own show,[2:20:22] we might be living through the next notable change right now,[2:20:24] where all the biggest comics in the world have their own clubs with their own rules.[2:20:27] I almost guarantee that 10 years from now,[2:20:29] 6th Street in Austin is going to look like the comedy version of Broadway in Nashville.[2:20:33] Just like how every big country singer owns a bar in Nashville that's named after them,[2:20:36] every comedian is going to open a place in Austin.[2:20:39] These guys all have the money, the motivation and the resources to make it happen.[2:20:42] How cool would it be to go see a stand up show at a club called Your Mom's House,[2:20:45] or whatever demented idea for a club Tim Dillon could come up with?[2:20:48] Oh yeah, Tim Dillon.[2:20:49] Remember this video 10 years from now.[2:20:50] This is what it's going to be, and I called it.[2:20:52] And who knows, maybe the joke world club will even be open in Austin by then.[2:20:55] Oh![2:20:56] You fucking finished joke world.[2:20:58] Get it now![2:21:00] Do everything to him.[2:21:01] No, I'm kidding.[2:21:02] We must cherish joke world.[2:21:03] Look at how excited he is with that idea.[2:21:06] I picked that one out for you because that really shows how into this joke world is.[2:21:10] He loves comedy.[2:21:11] He loves comedians.[2:21:13] And there's a lot of fucking nerds like this out there right now that we must stop![2:21:17] ... news for all comedy fans.[2:21:19] Here at Joke World, we've had the chance to partner with the great people at WatchComedy.Live[2:21:23] to create an interactive bracket style comedy...[2:21:25] I'll show you how to watch comedy.[2:21:28] With one of my stickers that will be placed outside of comedy mothership next month after we print them.[2:21:34] I'm kidding.[2:21:35] There's a lot of guys like this.[2:21:36] Look at this guy's face.[2:21:37] These are these comment threads.[2:21:39] These are these Reddits.[2:21:40] He's bouncing with joy.[2:21:42] They're these kids and you go, how do they even understand the comedy?[2:21:47] Well, maybe that's why the comedy is so easy and simple.[2:21:52] Like when we watch these Comedians Do Podcasts, we're not hearing any comedy.[2:21:57] I know I don't like saying that because, you know, people say that about this show when they hate the show.[2:22:03] Well, he's not being funny.[2:22:05] Oh, yeah.[2:22:07] But really, when I tune into Two Bears One Cave,[2:22:10] when I tune into Tom Segura's Your Mom's House and all these shows, they're never being funny.[2:22:15] What's ever funny?[2:22:17] But maybe you got to be a kid like this.[2:22:18] Maybe a kid like this.[2:22:19] When he hears Tom Segura say something very simple that I go like this to, he goes,[2:22:24] Oh, I'm a nerd.[2:22:28] You're a nerd.[2:22:29] I feel like around like 2016 and 17, this is what every Kanye fan looked like.[2:22:34] Yes.[2:22:35] Now maybe they all switched over to comedy.[2:22:38] And they love Theo Vaughn, all these types.[2:22:41] I like to put a face to the fan.[2:22:44] They love, oh, Theo Vaughn is so creative.[2:22:48] You know, Theo Vaughn's like huge on TikTok now and the whole new generation of kids loves Theo Vaughn.[2:22:54] Do you know these companies these guys all work for are all doing this 24-7 marketing behind the scenes for them,[2:23:00] pushing them into all these like pockets of the Internet and doing all this stuff for them?[2:23:04] These companies?[2:23:07] Xander is saying that Red Band's club was just another club owned by someone else.[2:23:13] And one of the co-owners died and so Red Band's taking his place.[2:23:18] Great.[2:23:19] That sounds really nice.[2:23:20] Let's turn them in for the members of this community.[2:23:22] Starting on Thursday, March 30th, you'll be able to click a link in our bio.[2:23:26] They'll take you directly to a bracket with 16 different clips from 16 of your favorite comedians.[2:23:30] From there, all you got to do is watch each clip and vote on the funniest ones.[2:23:34] It's completely free.[2:23:35] You don't have to sign up or pay for anything.[2:23:37] So that guy is like a booty kisser, right?[2:23:40] He loves comics.[2:23:41] Does he love me?[2:23:42] I want that answer too.[2:23:43] Does Joke World know of me?[2:23:45] I'd like to fight Joke World.[2:23:47] Joke World would win against me.[2:23:49] He would.[2:23:51] Joke World would demolish me.[2:23:54] He would smoke me.[2:23:57] Don't you think if me and Joke World got into like a podcast where he would win?[2:24:01] He's probably the only guy that could take me down.[2:24:04] Let's hear it from Brian Redban himself.[2:24:08] Guys, I'm happy to announce that I'm one of the new owners of the Sunset Strip Comedy Club about to open here in Austin, Texas on 6th Street.[2:24:17] It's going to be an amazing club.[2:24:19] I can't wait for you guys to come check it out.[2:24:22] We are having a soft opening next month.[2:24:25] You hear that?[2:24:26] April 7th at 8 o'clock.[2:24:28] We're going to have a secret show there.[2:24:30] Got a lot of huge surprises on that show.[2:24:32] Tickets just went on sale at sunsetstripatx.com.[2:24:37] Join us.[2:24:39] So, okay, that's wonderful.[2:24:41] I'm just pulling up my email from Redban there.[2:24:43] I'm not using my phone.[2:24:45] Don't worry, I'm not using my phone.[2:24:47] So that to me is exciting.[2:24:49] So they're really taking over this city.[2:24:51] And again, are there going to be enough comedy fans to keep coming out?[2:24:56] However, that's not really my point here today.[2:24:59] That's not my thesis.[2:25:01] I don't care about that.[2:25:03] I care that I am turning into pretty close friends with an owner of a comedy club, co-creator of the Joe Rogan Experience, Brian Redban.[2:25:17] And I've got the proof.[2:25:20] On the last show, was it the last show I was wearing the Mythical Beast sweatshirt?[2:25:25] That was the last show we did.[2:25:26] I think so.[2:25:27] On the very last show, I was wearing Good Mythical Mornings merch.[2:25:32] Brian Redban emails me.[2:25:38] Cut to that.[2:25:40] You're a mythical beast?[2:25:42] Did not see that coming.[2:25:44] Really enjoying the show lately.[2:25:46] You are hilarious.[2:25:50] What?[2:25:51] So, you know, me and Redban have emailed back and forth a few times and we've become friendlier and friendlier each time.[2:25:58] We've never gotten really enjoying the show.[2:26:01] You are hilarious.[2:26:04] That's so cute.[2:26:06] That is the cutest, nicest thing ever.[2:26:09] So what I've decided to do is remove all restrictions from Brian Redban.[2:26:17] And all red bar restrictions are now removed from him.[2:26:21] And he is able to flow freely out there and do whatever he pleases without my regard.[2:26:29] Now, Tony, however he does, is his dear friend, his good partner.[2:26:34] You know, there is no kill Tony without Brian Redban.[2:26:36] At least I would hope not.[2:26:38] So, does Tony know that Brian Redban for the last year has been emailing with me to the point where our friendship is getting so tight that he's saying you are hilarious?[2:26:50] He's saying that to me.[2:26:52] Meanwhile, Tony is probably sitting in the other damn room.[2:26:55] We must let Tony know that this is happening.[2:26:59] So if you guys could cut together all the times I've talked about me and Redban's relationship, send that to Tony.[2:27:05] Get him knowing about this because, you know, my whole thing has been Tony has been treating Redban like spit for far too long.[2:27:13] And I bet it, you know, and I'm not going to put words in Redban's mouth.[2:27:16] I wouldn't do that.[2:27:17] And I appreciate Redban's friendship.[2:27:21] But Redban probably heard me covering Tony a few times here and there and pointing out everything that he's been wanting to say to Tony his whole life.[2:27:30] But he can't because, of course, how Tony treats him.[2:27:33] So I think Brian finds that I am really the only buddy here speaking for a guy like him, you know, helping a guy like that out.[2:27:42] It was like in the show The Accused when Whitney Cummings gets raped.[2:27:45] There's this woman, you know, that she found online through the comments section that is helping her.[2:27:52] And eventually throws gas all over a comedian's face and sets him on fire.[2:27:59] And then Whitney almost gets in trouble for it, but she gets off.[2:28:01] This is happening on your TV.[2:28:03] This is actually happening.[2:28:04] It's a lot to explain that is happening.[2:28:07] So let's let Tony know about this.[2:28:11] If we could get screenshots, pull them from the show, get in Tony's ear.[2:28:15] But let's not let's not get Redban in trouble because I would like to keep this friendship alive.[2:28:22] I really would.[2:28:23] Are you going to email him back or what?[2:28:25] Oh, should I email him back right now?[2:28:27] Oh, what do I say?[2:28:29] You know, I really don't want it at this point.[2:28:32] I feel like I got a nice juicy hook and I don't like saying that because I don't look at this as a fishing trip.[2:28:38] But this could be really helpful.[2:28:43] I don't want to scare Brian Redban away with an email that sounds insincere.[2:28:48] So our listeners have been known to go to comedy clubs and be like, Redbar's watching, Redbar's watching.[2:28:55] Do a little light, legal heckling.[2:28:59] Nothing to do with us, of course.[2:29:01] That's just what they like doing.[2:29:02] People like a heckle from me.[2:29:04] We've got all these rules and these regulations at Rogan's Comedy Club.[2:29:08] And other than that, it's so hard to get tickets the second we post tickets to these shows.[2:29:12] Barely get in.[2:29:13] Redban is basically a co-owner of the Mothership too.[2:29:17] I consider him to be the co-owner of the Mothership.[2:29:19] Why don't you ask your new friend if he'll put two tickets aside for two of our hecklers?[2:29:25] No, not for us, for two of our hecklers.[2:29:29] This is great.[2:29:31] OK, I'm composing an email to Brian Redban right now.[2:29:35] Say, so you know, we've got these guys.[2:29:38] Thanks, Brian. Exclamation point.[2:29:40] I'm friendly.[2:29:42] Thanks, Brian.[2:29:46] See, I'm only going to sound insincere here.[2:29:49] I'm ready to say the smoochiest, stupidest shit.[2:29:52] Because what are you going to say?[2:29:54] Well, what would the real you say first?[2:29:56] Thanks, Brian.[2:29:58] That really, you know, warms my heart that you notice the sweatshirt as well.[2:30:04] God, you're the cutest fucking little comedian we've ever met.[2:30:08] We're really, you know what I mean?[2:30:10] That's like all I want to say.[2:30:12] I want him to know that I like him more than a friend.[2:30:17] Really?[2:30:19] Because we really do. We have found Brian Redban is like as cute as a dog.[2:30:23] He's as cute as a puppy to us for some reason at this particular time in history.[2:30:31] So, you know, I don't want him to think this is some disgusting.[2:30:35] Just be like, hey, Brian. Thanks, Brian.[2:30:37] So cute that you noticed my sweater.[2:30:39] Yeah, let's have her. It's so cute that you you.[2:30:44] I really mean it. You're cute like a dog.[2:30:47] OK, so cute that you noticed.[2:30:50] I'm really bad at typing my sweater.[2:30:53] What I do is I go in the vicinity of a word.[2:30:56] Now, if it don't autocorrect, I leave the app.[2:30:59] If it does autocorrect, somebody gets an email.[2:31:01] I'm really have gotten so lazy with the typing, you know, that you try to do it like on the written paper.[2:31:07] Like when I'm writing my lyrics for these songs, I'm recording.[2:31:10] I do it on paper and I'm writing words like I'm in such a rush to get a word finished like sweater.[2:31:17] All right. Like s r d f t y u.[2:31:23] And if it doesn't autocorrect, the sweater is getting mad at the app.[2:31:26] But when you write something like that down, you got a song full of nonsense at the end of the day.[2:31:31] Thanks, Brian. It's so cute that you noticed my sweater.[2:31:36] Say no, no, no. OK, you're cute.[2:31:39] You're so cute. As cute as a dog.[2:31:42] You're I'm just going to say you're as cute as a dog.[2:31:47] Then say seriously. Have you heard.[2:31:50] Believe me. Have you heard.[2:31:54] That's a great because then it shows that we're so rat from Rat Link.[2:31:58] The sweater I was wearing last week, he does a song called Believe Me.[2:32:02] We love that song. Have you heard.[2:32:05] Believe me, I say I got to autocorrect believe because of this E.I. thing.[2:32:11] Have you heard Believe Me.[2:32:14] The song from and I'm going to try to do this quick, I'm sorry, from Rhett.[2:32:20] It's amazing. Anyway, now let's get to these tickets here.[2:32:25] Anyway, I have a question for you. Anyway, I have a question.[2:32:30] As you know, the comedy mothership is the hardest.[2:32:34] Why don't you type this up and then send it to me and I'll copy and paste.[2:32:38] OK, this is going to take me forever. I'm still on any and I fucked up any.[2:32:42] I'm writing any. I have a question for you. You write it.[2:32:46] I'm telling you, I can barely write. I'm going to text this to you. Text it to me all.[2:32:50] Yeah. And then I'll copy and paste anyway. Anyway, question.[2:32:54] Because then I can think about what I'm saying here. Anyway, I have a question for you.[2:32:57] I have a question for you. That's perfect.[2:33:00] As you know, you're going slower than me, as you know, become the comedy mothership.[2:33:07] Is the hottest ticket in town. The hottest. I like that.[2:33:12] I'll co-sign that. Yeah. I was wondering if there was any way you could put a couple.[2:33:20] Put aside. Tickets aside. OK.[2:33:24] For. For. Now do we say my hecklers?[2:33:28] Some of my hecklers. For some of my hecklers.[2:33:37] Should we just leave it at that? I understand there's no heckling. Something like this.[2:33:41] I understand there's no heckling allowed at Joe's Club, but I thought, you know, if you could just get a few of our guys in there.[2:33:47] Yeah, I would really appreciate the favor. I understand there is usually no heckling at the club.[2:33:53] So that's why this would be something expressed to him like this would be a great favor and a favor that I would owe him for if he could get in a couple of my hecklers behind the scenes with their gear.[2:34:06] Anyway, I've got a question for you. As you know, the comedy mothership is the hottest ticket in town.[2:34:10] I was wondering if there's any way you could put a couple of tickets aside for some of my hecklers.[2:34:15] I understand there's usually no heckling at the club, so this would be a huge favor. We'd owe you a favor. Yes, we'd owe you. That's perfect.[2:34:21] Yes. Send it over to me. Let's get this over to him. Maybe we could get an answer by the end of the show here.[2:34:25] I'm going to know I'm going to save this draft. No, add it on. I'm going to add it on.[2:34:31] OK, so now I've got this. OK, good. Yeah, I didn't delete the first part. OK, guys, this is tech.[2:34:38] Here you go. Anyway, I have a question for you. As you know, the comedy mothership is the hottest ticket in town.[2:34:43] I was wondering if there was any way you could put aside a couple of tickets for my hecklers.[2:34:48] I understand there's usually no heckling at the club, so this would be a huge favor. We'd owe you.[2:34:54] And then maybe a wink at the end. Thank you so much.[2:35:03] Mike. All right. Here you go. Listen.[2:35:09] Muted phone, silenced phone, no sound effect. So, OK, we're going to see what he says there.[2:35:15] And maybe we could make something happen. You know, Brian's a very nice guy. Show him some love.[2:35:21] Why not? Thank you, Brian Redman. So joke world, what do we do with joke world?[2:35:27] How do we involve ourselves in joke? Maybe we just let's put out some feelings. Go ask joke world if he knows about me first.[2:35:35] And we'll go from there and tell him that, yes, Mike is gushing over you.[2:35:41] He subscribed to you. Not only does he subscribe and watch every episode, but he started basing what he's going to talk about on the show.[2:35:49] Based on your stuff there. And he just showed you, you know, you say you showed him to the audience here.[2:35:55] He's gushing over him. He loves you. You made a big impact with his audience today.[2:36:00] You might see a lot of subscribers and stuff coming through. OK, something like that. And we'll get started from there.[2:36:06] We'll see what happens there. OK, I've got a plan. Oh, I wanted to show you this.[2:36:10] Yeah. We were talking about Akash Singh. We just saw him in that video. Is that his name? Akash Singh?[2:36:15] I hope so. Like Lily Singh? That's what I've been calling him. Look what Akash did.[2:36:20] And this is the co-creator of the Andrew Schultz experience. Here he is.[2:36:26] I really can't stand this guy. He writes, I got my own fucking shoe, y'all.[2:36:34] Or yo. I got my own fucking shoe, yo. OK, Jesse. Jesse who? Pinkman?[2:36:40] Wow. That's the last guy to say yo. He's got a Pinkman-esque type of fucking vibe. And I hated Pinkman.[2:36:45] And I hate Aaron Paul. I hate Aaron Paul. That's fair. Aaron Paul and Logan Paul are equally hated by me.[2:36:53] The lion composed by Novella is a one of one sneaker inspired by my life and meant for a night out.[2:37:03] Only 2020 pairs were made. Only 2020 pairs were made. So you'll have to move fast.[2:37:10] Novella2020.com. And he made his own shoe. This is nice. Let's see this little ass size six.[2:37:18] What day did he post this? This was.[2:37:22] Nine a.m. April 7th. OK. And what's going on now? They were sold out yet. Oh, let's go check.[2:37:30] Wow. That's how many days ago was that? Like three. Three days ago, he's got 2000 pairs.[2:37:35] He is not sold out of one size. Let's see. Fives still available. Six still available.[2:37:43] Seven still available. Size eight available. Nine available. Tens. Nothing is sold out.[2:37:49] Everything is add to bag. You know, when I launch something, you can't add the bag a week later.[2:37:55] He's sold no shoes. I'd like to get the reports on how many shoes he's sold. Can we contact this company, Novella?[2:38:02] Let's see some more pics of these. Yeah, let's see the shoes. Yeah, for real. I'm trying to blow up here.[2:38:09] Let's call Novella. Pretend we're reporters. Send Novella an email.[2:38:15] We're reporters doing a story. We want to know how many pairs have sold. You know, we're the New York Times.[2:38:22] OK, here's the shoe. OK, so here's a nice. It's this little gay ass Beavis and Butthead shoe.[2:38:29] But it's got this slithery Middle Eastern Indian bullshit all over the side.[2:38:37] The bottom is like a little kid's drawing. What is that supposed to be? An elephant?[2:38:46] A lion? A lion? Because it's called The Lion. The Lion Club. Would never know that if it weren't for the title.[2:38:53] Oh, look at this shoe. And the worst part is it says Novella on the top here embroidered like that.[2:39:01] That's a cheap shoe tag. If I've ever seen one for three hundred and eighty five.[2:39:07] Look at these shoes are three hundred and eighty five buckaroos kiddo.[2:39:13] That's high. The tighter than the easy. How does Akash even wear those?[2:39:18] Because he wears that color of dark jeans. Yeah, that's what I mean. That's why he looks like such a little faggot.[2:39:23] So he designed faggot shoes for faggot little twink Indians.[2:39:29] And these are the ugliest shoes. It's navy on gray, navy on navy.[2:39:34] The stitching looks like it could have been done from Oscar de la Renta.[2:39:43] Just kidding. That's the name that's in my head because he designed Taylor's dresses for the era's tour.[2:39:50] Now, the stitching looks, you know, awful. I mean, it looks like Hila Klein did it in her basement.[2:39:56] And then he's got this insole. Look at the insole. And I'm a sucker for a colored insole.[2:40:02] I like a pop when I'm looking down before putting on my shoes.[2:40:05] But they got to understand, if you don't put that pop somewhere on the outside, once you're buckled in, no one's seeing that bottom.[2:40:11] And now your shoe looks pretty one color. I hate the bottoms.[2:40:16] Those are children's bottoms. Imagine Akash swinging his little feetsies with these bottoms showing it would make you sick.[2:40:24] Let's see what else. I haven't really fully looked at these. Oh, here's the insole, of course.[2:40:29] And they're these Indian leaves, like the kind that Akash puts a little doody on and rolls up and eats as an Indian delinquish or whatever they call it.[2:40:39] Oh, my God. It's got light pink laces. I mean, this is really a gay looking ugly shoe, isn't it?[2:40:47] It's got no shape to it. Looks like a skinny little wiener.[2:40:51] I hate it.[2:40:52] If a shoe reminds you of a skinny wiener. Is it really a shoe anymore or is it a gay man's adventure?[2:41:00] Oh, God. And then the back is hideous.[2:41:03] Oh, they're numbered. So they've embroidered each. You'll get a little. Imagine wearing these dainty, dainty little tap shoes.[2:41:11] And I think they do have the tap stuff installed. What is he going to do with them all? He's not selling 2000 shoes.[2:41:17] I don't understand how many 2000 pairs is a shitload of shoe. And this is why people don't make shoes.[2:41:24] This is why Kanye needed Adidas to make shoes. You can't just make shoes. Ask Brian Callan how that's going.[2:41:31] Toe holds. That's why those have to be 385. I believe it's the same damn number for a toe hold.[2:41:36] Because they have to make these and then they have to make every size. And the only way to get a buck off of them is to charge 385.[2:41:43] But Akash might be paying 295 per shoe. Could be paying much more. Akash could be making three bucks a shoe.[2:41:52] So he thinks he's going to sell 2000 shoes. Meanwhile, no sizes have sold out. Not even the 10, the 12 and the 9.[2:42:01] And here he is with his little feets. Everybody here hates Akash to death, right? Like we want to hurt him, right?[2:42:10] No, we don't want to hurt any companies that are involved in anything. We don't want to hurt anybody. It's all just an old man's wish.[2:42:17] If you're already wearing a navy jacket and navy pants, then why not have a navy shoe as well?[2:42:24] The real, the worst part is the stitching. And again, that they've just embroidered novella onto the tongue like that.[2:42:32] I mean that really looks pathetic. And they're selling nuts. Oh, here's little, look at Akash! Smiling in the blur.[2:42:40] Wearing these dang little feetsies, these children's shoes. You know, Akash really looks like a child, doesn't he?[2:42:49] He tries to dress like brother Andrew. Father Andrew![2:42:53] Now will Andrew be seen rocking these?[2:42:56] Yeah, Andrew! You gonna wear these guys? He'll probably do something like, yeah, I use them when I clean the garage. Something like that.[2:43:05] Except he doesn't have a garage. So, might never wear them. And this is by Dustin Stipes.[2:43:11] Okay, so yeah, if anybody could go to this novella. Let's go here. Go to this novella company for me.[2:43:19] And, oh god are these ugly shoes. There's not like a video of him talking about the shoe, is there? Oh my god, look at Akash saying he posed for this.[2:43:27] Can we find any video of maybe Akash talking about the dang shoe? That would be interesting.[2:43:32] Something like this, you know, there could be some comedy in here if he's not selling the, what is this?[2:43:40] There's a comedy clip called The Village Lantern that I could not get stage time most places in the city.[2:43:45] And then Andrew Schultz and I became friends and I started barking for his comedy show and then a couple others.[2:43:51] Which is, you stand outside in the, whatever the weather is in New York City. So sometimes it's hot, sometimes it's freezing.[2:43:57] There's just a button that says listen on here. The Empire State of Mind. The Lone Star.[2:44:05] I don't know what this stuff is. Family Pride, listen. These are all just voice notes. Oh, here's a little video here. Let's see.[2:44:18] Oh. The sings.[2:44:27] Look at this.[2:44:28] So, so far it's just Akash, you know, video clips of Akash, cool, cool angles of Akash.[2:44:37] Just Akash looking fucking badass while it, you know, flashes between shots of Akash and the sneaker.[2:44:44] And this sells it here. I like that.[2:44:46] It seems like this Novella is like a new company that just came out where you can make your own.[2:44:51] Well, here, I'll send you this main page here.[2:44:54] And Akash's sneaker is only the second to ever come out. The first one was just a random barber.[2:45:00] Well, what I wanted to get to is if somebody could contact Novella, pretend you're a reporter, and see if we could get some sales numbers.[2:45:10] We want to talk about Novella's success. We're very excited about this project. We're doing a big story.[2:45:15] New York Times. It's about Novella.[2:45:18] And all we've been, we've been just every, I didn't even want to write this article.[2:45:24] I've just been hearing this name, Novella. I can't get away from it.[2:45:27] So what are your sales? It got the sales number.[2:45:30] Whatever you have to do. Be creative. Get Akash's sales for me.[2:45:34] I love laughing at sales. So.[2:45:37] All right. Let's finish this video here.[2:45:40] Oh, there's Akash.[2:45:45] Does Novella make his little kids jeans as well?[2:45:50] This guy is gay. I really would love to bully Akash more.[2:45:55] We've never gotten a response from Akash.[2:45:57] Yes, there's the first pair.[2:45:59] Okay. Oh, wait.[2:46:01] So his are the ugliest shoes so far. Look at these little gay shoes.[2:46:06] The preface. Okay. Well, that's enough for him.[2:46:08] That's enough time for Akash.[2:46:10] They can't decide if they're branding. They want it to be like a book or a song because the company is called Novella.[2:46:15] And then they're like, every season is a chapter. Every colorway is a verse.[2:46:21] 385 for those terrible, terrible shoes.[2:46:24] And then in the video it was composed by Akash Singh.[2:46:28] What store did your mom want to go look at shoes at?[2:46:30] Cause she's from Canada and she didn't realize.[2:46:32] What was it called? Not Payless.[2:46:35] Famous Footwear.[2:46:36] Famous Footwear. Jules' mom, last time she was in town.[2:46:40] They don't have a lot of these stores in Canada.[2:46:43] So she came and she goes, will you take me to Famous Footwear?[2:46:49] Because I hear you get good deals on shoes.[2:46:52] And we go, we're not taking you to Famous Footwear. Sorry.[2:46:55] She doesn't realize that that's for like people that are like, they had to sign a form saying that they're poor.[2:47:00] You know, you're that poor. You shop at Famous Footwear.[2:47:05] But Akash's shoes look worse than most of the famous footwear.[2:47:11] Or like, have you ever been to Walmart and seen the shoe section there?[2:47:14] Oh, they got those things locked in too with these cable cords.[2:47:18] They don't want you stealing those beautiful shoes.[2:47:21] Oh God. I feel bad for the kid that has to get their shoes at Target.[2:47:26] Target's got some ugly shoes.[2:47:28] You should start a program where you get kids shoes for the first day of school.[2:47:31] Yeah, I could just give the kids my old shoes because my foot size is so small.[2:47:39] And I have enough shoes to give a whole school kids shoes.[2:47:42] But a Donda sized school. Did you hear what's going on at Donda Academy?[2:47:48] Apparently Kanye West, he's in a lot of trouble.[2:47:50] He's being sued by like a lot of people because he opened a school for kids.[2:47:54] And then apparently he only fed them sushi. They weren't allowed to learn.[2:48:00] They weren't allowed to use the stairwell.[2:48:03] There are a lot of crazy rules. He's being sued into oblivion by so many people right now.[2:48:07] It's a shame. We've got to stand up for Kanye.[2:48:10] No stairs. I kind of like that rule.[2:48:12] You know what made me sick? And I listen to a ton of podcasts.[2:48:16] Most of my life revolves around what other people have been saying and how much it makes me sick.[2:48:22] And to hear somebody else cover, did you see this thing where Kanye West said he's no longer, he no longer hates the Jews because of 21 Jump Street?[2:48:37] People are covering this as if it's, you know, and that really hurts me.[2:48:43] But what I thought that the best part that I've heard nobody talk about is Kanye just admitted that he did hate the Jews.[2:48:52] He said, I no longer hate the Jews.[2:48:57] I didn't know. I thought you just said, cause he swore that it wasn't about that. Remember?[2:49:03] He kind of said, no, this is just a beautiful ancient swastika. Remember?[2:49:07] This is a beautiful, but now he's saying I no longer hate the Jews.[2:49:12] In that recent, uh, Instagram post, maybe we'll be able to grab that here.[2:49:16] Yeah.[2:49:17] That's coming up. Um, and nobody talked about that because he never technically said, he always tried to get himself out of the actual, cause they'd be like, why do you hate the Jews?[2:49:26] And be like, I don't hate the Jews. I'm just bringing up questions.[2:49:29] You know, that old thing where they go, why do you hate Jewish people?[2:49:34] I'm not allowed to just ask about Jewish people.[2:49:39] So that's what we thought he was doing. But it turns out, look at this, Jonah Hill and 21 Jump Street made me like Jewish people again.[2:49:47] There you go. So he, I thought you already, I thought you loved that.[2:49:51] So this is the first time I'm actually taking offense to any of this is bad because before he said he loved Hitler, but he also loved the Jews.[2:49:59] But now he still loves Hitler, but Jews have been demoted to like.[2:50:03] Jews are alike now. Yeah. He likes them.[2:50:10] Again.[2:50:11] So, but people really bit into this and it's like, you know, Kanye is allowed to make jokes too.[2:50:19] You know, everybody treats Kanye as if he's like a stupid animal that it's like, remember he's also funny.[2:50:27] They do treat him like an animal. You know, that's probably why he's doing this. That's why he's lashing out because you all treat him like a slaved animal.[2:50:34] Nobody ever understands when he's making a joke and treats everything he says like it's 100% serious.[2:50:40] Yeah, he's just making jokes.[2:50:42] And he doesn't understand how to weave that perfectly, you know, so it's very rude what people did.[2:50:48] Let's show just a bit of that video that we saw this morning with Hella Mark Harley.[2:50:52] Hella Mark Harley in a lot of hot water since we last left. Water under the bridge, as far as I'm concerned.[2:51:00] Hella Mark Harley was outed for physically abusing his wife.[2:51:06] And there's a video of him. I guess we could show the video of him shaking a car.[2:51:10] I saved when we were almost about to do the show, but then you were too sick.[2:51:14] I had all of the videos of we were going to react for the first time.[2:51:18] Yeah. And we can still do that, but I just give me the note that I haven't seen.[2:51:24] That's okay. Give me the note. I just want to show him shaking the car.[2:51:29] And that's like all you really got to show Peele on there. Like, okay.[2:51:33] So Hella Mark Harley, that guy I had on the phone with the long hair, he used to work for Brendan Schaub and Fighter and the Kid.[2:51:40] He came on our show saying Brendan's bad. He fired me and all that.[2:51:44] And then that sparked this whole Hella Mark month across the internet.[2:51:49] Where if you type in Hella Mark Harley in YouTube right now, there's about a thousand videos, interviews that he's done.[2:51:57] All these talking heads talking about Hella Mark Harley. Everybody is obsessed with Hella Mark Harley.[2:52:03] The Fighter and the Kid read it. A hundred thousand people talking about Hella Mark Harley every two seconds.[2:52:08] Then Hella Mark Harley starts exposing Brendan Schaub's tweets showing that he cheats. Remember this.[2:52:16] So Hella Mark Harley was posting all these messages, screenshots of messages showing that Brendan tweets.[2:52:22] I don't think we talked about this. Proving that Brendan tweets and exposing him.[2:52:28] We haven't heard from Brendan's wife. We haven't heard what happened.[2:52:32] But Brendan was caught in messages saying, man, you the baddie.[2:52:37] Yo, and this word baddie is the big one they're all making fun of.[2:52:42] If you ever see somebody with Brendan saying baddie, it's like how we say Christy to Chris D'Elia.[2:52:47] Cause that's his like little secret Instagram account that he uses to talk to women and it scares him.[2:52:53] And now, you know, that's like the new thing with Brendan. Baddie, baddie this, baddie that. He loves baddies.[2:53:00] So it was confirmed, right? That Brendan does cheat on his wife, right? That's pretty much confirmed by Hella Mark Harley.[2:53:08] No questions asked. Right after that, Hella Mark Harley goes down for physically beating up his wife.[2:53:17] Let me show you the video I'm talking about.[2:53:19] Is it funnier to watch the video on its own or remember he did that interview with that guy?[2:53:24] Yeah, that could be funny too. Either of those will work for me.[2:53:27] Okay. The video with the guys interview with Hella Mark.[2:53:30] So he's been on a media tour and again, this all happened while we were away and this seems to happen a lot now.[2:53:38] Any guy you know starts going down for something now, you know, you have that thing that happened to Salvo that was very embarrassing for our company.[2:53:46] And now you have Hella Mark, another guy that I backed here and they're saying that he's beating up women.[2:53:53] I'll say this before I even saw the videos.[2:53:56] I didn't care. I mean, I'm going to go to bat for Hella Mark for my whole life.[2:54:01] I mean, after what he did for us, people don't know Hella Mark, that interview I did with Hella Mark blew up the show.[2:54:07] Like we got double the subscribers after that. No, I'm kidding.[2:54:12] But I have this thing just like with Brian Redband where I'm going to be friendly with Hella Mark.[2:54:18] You know, well, actually, if he did beat up his wife, I wouldn't.[2:54:22] But after you see what we saw here, this is a very cute misunderstanding.[2:54:30] And I don't know. And I hope, you know, the way the Internet works, you hear all these stories like how many people let's just do an experiment.[2:54:36] How many people here press one in the chat? How many people here heard about Hella Mark Harley being abusive?[2:54:44] Just press one. I just want to see how many people have heard that.[2:54:47] How many people have heard about Hella Mark being abusive? Press one. Press two. If you've never heard anything about this yet.[2:54:55] And then we'll see. We'll just wait.[2:55:01] We're just waiting on those numbers to provide for us.[2:55:06] Because I have no idea. I know. I don't know guys who know about you guys. Let's see.[2:55:11] We're waiting on our long delay. We have a dump button, so it takes a long time. One and one means they've heard about it, right?[2:55:16] I think so. Yeah. One means you've heard about Hella Mark Harley's abuse and two means you never heard about it. Okay.[2:55:24] Okay. There's a mix. There's a nice mix here. So that's good.[2:55:29] Oh, Salvo's here today. Shout out. What's that? I said Salvo's here today. Shout out.[2:55:34] Salvo, I'm so proud of him and his new studio that I helped him out with a couple of weeks ago. I flew out there.[2:55:40] Yes. And I helped him drag stuff up and down the stairs all day. It was nice.[2:55:45] So, um, okay. So it looks like a nice mix. Hella Mark Harley. Now this is what I want to ask second here.[2:55:51] How many people, the same thing, press one if, to your knowledge, Hella Mark Harley is guilty of battering a woman and he's just a bad guy.[2:56:07] Press two if you've heard something else. That's complicated. That's complicated.[2:56:14] Out of all the people who knew about Hella Mark Harley, uh, assault on a woman stuff. How many of you think that he did that and he's bad?[2:56:28] Well, whatever. Cause I'm here to tell you that it turns out it was a misunderstanding. Yes. He's nice. And I have the proof.[2:56:38] He's going to explain it all. I think Hella Mark fucking rocks. There's something. So again, it's like red band. He is so lovable and cute.[2:56:46] And sometimes you gotta, gotta just love a guy like this. Who cares if he beat up some bitch? I don't think that we watched all of the videos that people were posting.[2:56:55] So maybe we should show, maybe we should show that video of him doing the car lifting first. Should we do that first? Show the video of the car or you want to do the interview guide first?[2:57:06] No, you can do the, give me the interview. I'll do the interview. Give me a time code. Okay. Go to, do you want the start of the explanation? You can go to four minutes. Okay.[2:57:16] Four minutes and they do a good job. Again, there's so many podcasts shows. You really don't need me anymore. But these guys are good. I mean, they're professional.[2:57:25] They're more professional than me. Most of these shows I was watching, I couldn't believe how good of an interviewer this guy was. He really has it in his blood.[2:57:34] And I really liked the way he looks. This is from an MMA show called, I can't even tell you what it's called. It's all squat. MMA holes. MMA holes. I'll never forget that title.[2:57:44] And MMA guys, if they don't love a black shirt, then they don't love MMA. Every MMA guy wears these black t-shirts to the point where I don't even want to wear black anymore.[2:57:56] Not that I have anything against MMA. You know, I saw a picture of Lex Fridman dripping head to toe in sweat as if they pulled him out of a pond next to another guy, soaked head to toe in their own sweat.[2:58:13] They had their arms around each other, Lex Fridman and some asshole. And he goes, never knew MIT. Never knew MIT had an MMA program. Showing that he just rolled. That's what they call it, rolling.[2:58:28] That's what the fags call it when they do MMA. You know what's rolling to me? Do an X with a chick. Not MMA, but these boys were drenched in sweat head to toe, wrestling with each other on the floor.[2:58:43] I will bring this up every time. How do you explain the sweat? The exchange of sweat. I mean, if another man is sweating, I'm like nauseated if he's on TV sweating.[2:58:54] You ever see the bachelor and there's beads of sweat on their head with those terrible cameras. It makes me nauseated. So to sit there and roll around and hug a man as tight as you can to hold them down in these holds while you're both head to toe and more sweat than I've ever sweat during my worst COVID.[2:59:14] I had a fever during COVID too. I was hot and I was cold. Um, I can't get over that. I can't get over the sharing of sweat. And I don't know why that's just overlooked every time they're like, Oh, cool.[2:59:28] That's a huge, huge, huge hole in this whole MMA is cool shit that you're covered in sweat, hugging another guy's doing it. It'd be one thing if you left it to the athletes, then it's just two guys getting sweated on for millions of dollars. You're doing it for free in strip centers so that you could take a picture and try to scare me that you do MMA.[2:59:51] So if I'm scared of you trying to grab at my ankle, I'll shoot you dead MMA. I won't drop a bit of sweat during our little thing. So come here, somersault towards me. See what happens, Lex. We got to stop with this. MMA is fine and it shouldn't be made fun of. Okay. That we really let that get out of control. It's our enemy's favorite sport. It must stop. You can't keep supporting MMA.[3:00:22] Um, okay. Four minutes in. So hella Mark Harley is on this show doing great. You know, I like this camera is okay. Sometimes I see his lips and it's way too much for me. I didn't know he had lips like this. Those will suck you. I mean, really, if you're a smaller fish, this these lips got you worried here.[3:00:44] Do you think they're hard? I don't know. I don't know. And this isn't even a weird picture of his lips. This is a pretty fine picture of his lips and his mustache is real intense too. I mean, that's an intense piece of piece of land, these patches.[3:01:00] So, okay. Here's the interviewer. He's MMA'd out. It's funny cause if you saw him like this, you'd be like, who's this total nerd, right? If you just saw him from, from chest up like this. Who's this total geekus, right? But then watch this. Oh no, he's an MMA guy. Look at his fucking eye. Oh shit, he's got tattoo sleeves.[3:01:24] Without those tattoo sleeves. This guy is basically a full on nerd showed poor person, right? How many guys in the world look like this, but with those sleeves and he's got a little nerdy voice. So it's very weird. All these nerds turned MMA.[3:01:40] Okay. Let's see. He's going to interview hella Mark Harley. Hopefully they'll explain this whole thing. And then we're going to find out quickly too. I'm not going to spend too much time on this. Is Mark Harley an abuser that we have to cut out or do we befriend him knowing the abuse? Okay. Let's see.[3:01:56] The last time you came on, you were the talk of the town. You were the man on top of the world with the fighter and kid subreddit. And now you're public enemy number one. How does this happen within a month? What's going on here?[3:02:11] Oh, how the turntables have turned. Um, so you know, the, the fact that he didn't run out of the room crying just now after being asked that means he rules the fact that hella Mark Harley could come on day two after his abuse scandal and videos all over the internet of him beating up a woman supposedly.[3:02:30] And he just comes on. He's smiling. He's having a good time. He's willing to do it to explain it to you. Not me. You wouldn't see me for two years if I got accused of something like this.[3:02:41] So that that's just one thing I love about hella Mark Harley is his willingness to just come out with a big smile and share his stories of abuse to all of us. Uh, so let's hear cheers.[3:02:56] The long and short of it is, um, you know, I had a very public split with my wife and she decided to go fully nuclear on me and preemptively released, um, some videos.[3:03:14] On me that are obviously very unflattering. And, uh, I have some people know the explanation or my side of events for the particular videos that she's released or the story.[3:03:23] Um, these are all things that we had mutually agreed to never release. You know, the things that I'm, I've released and we'll, we'll be releasing our things that we kind of had a pact. It's like, Hey, we don't want to do this to each other.[3:03:35] She decided to go nuclear and I've just been kind of formulating my response to this because obviously the, the standard advice in this case, um, or not standard, but a lot of people say, Hey, just lay low for awhile.[3:03:46] And it's like, well, I'm not going to let somebody try to frame me as a wife beater when I've never hit a woman in my life. And, uh, just never hit a woman in his life. Thank God.[3:03:55] I believe it. You know, and you know, he says something later in this interview. That's as much as you need to know. Have you seen hella Mark Harley? He's bigger than the rock.[3:04:07] If he hit a woman, she'd be dead.[3:04:13] Should at least have a mark. I mean, if hella Mark hits you in any way, that's forceful like any, which by the way means if he hit you and it didn't make a mark.[3:04:25] There's one or two things going on either. Hella Mark Harley is just a hologram or it's not enough to claim.[3:04:33] He did admit to one physical act. If you skipped to eight minutes. Yeah. But think about that. I mean, if hella Mark hits somebody, you know, and if it didn't leave a bruise, is it really even a hella Mark hit or is that a hella Mark tap, which is allowed?[3:04:50] You're allowed to tap a girl 12 times within a year before it becomes abuse. And by tap, I just mean simply to their forehead and you could go up to 11 times and then run. And that resets. Okay. Let's hear what he says.[3:05:07] Take it laying down. So I've been compiling my version of events. I had a pretty dark weekend where I felt like I was just being roundly attacked and, you know, kind of felt like my life was over for a minute because, you know, we are in a society now where it's kind of, it's, it's very easy, you know, to, to take things out of context.[3:05:31] And specifically the video that's going viral where I'm attacking her car, you know, the narrative that she's put out there is like she was escaping abuse or something like that. Like she's like trying to run away from me and it was like, no, I was trying to get my keys from you after you locked me out of the apartment.[3:05:48] There's nothing here with my car keys and apartment keys. And I made an unfortunate choice to attack the car to try to get them from you rather than simply calling the landlord. That was a mistake. But, you know, I immediately paid for the damages in the car, but it's been framed as obviously extremely misleading. I know how it looks. Of course, it's going to go viral. This giant man is shaking a car, but I got to show this video of him shaking the car because this is what this really what sold me here. Are they about to show that here on this[3:06:16] Yeah. First go to eight minutes and then we'll go to the car because you got to see this car thing. What he did with the car. Here you go.[3:06:24] It's my hair. Okay. That was 2020, you know, two or three years ago. One video she posts that she says I slapped her, but in reality it's actually in this room.[3:06:35] You know, I was sitting at my computer just like this working on a screenplay for hours and she kept bugging me and it escalated to this big argument and she's getting up in my face and I flicked her in the head and she's characterized that as like a hit or something like because she says, did you just hit me?[3:06:49] And it's like in the dark so you can't really see, but I went like this to her head, which again is unfortunate and I never want to do that to a woman or anybody.[3:06:56] But you know, that's eight years ago during a very heated argument and yeah, you got you got a video queued up there.[3:07:04] A flick from Hallimar Carli could blow your fucking head off.[3:07:08] If Hallimar Carli flicked me, I'd fly, you know, a few states down. I mean, a flick from Hallimar does.[3:07:14] I don't know if he knows his own strength here.[3:07:17] I mean, that's just no different than a linebacker or a football backer kicking a football into that post in between the posts.[3:07:26] I think they're about to play another video down here in a second.[3:07:28] So they're going to play a little video. I see Hallimar's arm here.[3:07:31] It must be a coincidence. Your nipple just showed up underneath over here. I think this is the video that you're talking about.[3:07:42] So this is great. He's on this podcast. Listen to what the world's become now.[3:07:46] He gets accused of abuse. His ex wife or whatever starts posting these videos of him abusing her supposedly.[3:07:54] And then Hallimar goes on an interview show to talk about the abuse and watch the videos that his wife posted of him abusing her.[3:08:06] And it's just fun and a nice laugh and not not the worst day of Mark's life.[3:08:11] I like that. There's something special about that to me. So they're going to show a video. I'll zoom in if I have to here.[3:08:18] This is a different one, but I because I put this one out. This is in the middle of like a seven minute video where she's trying to prevent me from leaving after.[3:08:26] She was being really verbally vicious with me and saying things that you can hear in the video.[3:08:31] She goes, I was just lying. And I'm like, dude, you can't be verbally abusive to me like that.[3:08:35] And I'm just trying to pack up and go. And she's physically preventing me from that.[3:08:38] And you can kind of see that she in the video, like coming over to pack and she's kind of like on top of my back and I just like reach back like that.[3:08:45] She does this like, oh, you know. Yeah. OK, let's let's watch it together.[3:08:50] Let's watch it. Well, let's do it. Memory lane.[3:08:54] Here we go. Here's Mark. Beautiful pecs. Forgive me. I will forgive you.[3:08:58] Forgive you for what? Telling the truth.[3:09:01] This is what they have to do.[3:09:07] And then it pauses on Helen Marco. Come on.[3:09:11] So he was swinging her. She was grabbing on him. He's going like this. Get off me, get off me.[3:09:16] And then she goes and falls back into a stack of laundry, remove yours.[3:09:21] And then Halla Mark looks at the phone, which I can't believe they're both filming this.[3:09:26] And then Halla Mark looks at the phone. But that look like Jim Gibbs, the cameras in the office, like, come on.[3:09:32] So has a man ever reviewed? And here's Halla Mark Harley watching that very tape.[3:09:39] I mean, you don't see the specialty in this, Halla Mark?[3:09:44] There's something I mean, that's this is all happening online.[3:09:48] If TV networks knew this was all happening for free.[3:09:52] And look at the host. The host is watching the video with him like this.[3:09:56] So funny. OK, let's hear.[3:10:00] Sorry, I don't mean to laugh, but I got that moment.[3:10:05] First off. All right. I'm going to I'm going to run it back real quick over here.[3:10:09] So you're standing there. You want it? Because what you can hear her say after that is, oh, my God, you just hit me in the chin.[3:10:15] But don't worry, I'm not going to call the cops if you just stay. So she's actually threatening to call the police.[3:10:20] And she's like, I could call the cops right now and tell him you hit me. But I won't if you do this.[3:10:25] So. So. So now why were you filming this? So things were happening already.[3:10:30] It's really a great interview. I mean, everything out of it. It's weird because this guy's chat, this MMA guy's chat is doing what you guys were doing when I had Halla Mark on.[3:10:38] Boring! Nikes, this guy talks too much. I don't think he talks enough.[3:10:45] I was hanging on every word. This was actually a great podcast to listen to. You could watch the full thing. It's called Exclusive Interview with Halla Mark Harley.[3:10:54] If you're thinking of watching Big J's special, just watch this twice. This is way better than Big J's special.[3:11:00] OK, let's show the car thing. That's the best. OK. I think that's at 18 minutes.[3:11:05] 18 minutes. OK. I just liked it with their reactions included. Makes it better.[3:11:10] Yeah. OK. Let's see what happens here until I see the car.[3:11:15] OK, here you go. It's coming up.[3:11:17] Talking about before. Now, this is this is what people are going crazy now.[3:11:21] Don't play this.[3:11:25] The girls in the driver's seat, she's filming herself. Halla Mark, do you see him back there?[3:11:30] He's in the back windshield. And what's he doing?[3:11:34] Imagine you look in your rearview mirror, you see that shit.[3:11:38] And this is a beautifully composed shot, actually, especially with today's vertical videoing.[3:11:44] It's beautifully composed. Here's Halla Mark's beautiful wife.[3:11:49] And there's Halla Mark in the back. What's going to happen? Let's find out. This is my favorite video.[3:11:56] I thought you were on my side.[3:11:59] Now, I got to admit, this looks like a scene from like a horror movie. This looks like I'm looking in the back.[3:12:04] I see a big scary man with muscles. She has all I could think of, though.[3:12:08] And I was telling my wife this. She's propping the camera up to. Right.[3:12:12] So she's she's getting ready. Like I would be like, let me get the fuck out of here.[3:12:16] Like, why am I putting this up here? Why am I filming this? All this stuff seems so fucking weird.[3:12:22] Anyway, we'll get your side in a second. But let me play this video for those that haven't seen it.[3:12:26] This is this is Mark's best performance ever. He's behind the car right now. He's trying to lift the car. Here it is.[3:12:31] Here it is. Look, you see this? Look at him back there.[3:12:35] He's touching my car now. He's picking up my car. What's this horror movie called?[3:12:39] As you can see, he's picking up my car. He doesn't let me go.[3:12:44] He doesn't let me go. Look at this. He kicks it.[3:12:49] You know, he hit it. Oh, like when I'm kicking it, she's actually backing up.[3:12:54] You can't really tell because he doesn't get the perspective or things behind it.[3:12:59] But she's she's at that moment when I go back like that, she's trying to like rip the door off.[3:13:06] Killer. That's what I'm really. Oh, OK.[3:13:11] OK. This was I mean, come on. Hello, Mark.[3:13:17] He's provided so much for the Internet in such a little amount of time.[3:13:23] Please tell me they didn't get back together. Let's see how Mark's face after this.[3:13:29] Mark, it's not that that's not you know, that's why everybody should work out,[3:13:34] because even in your worst video, you look cool when you're that jack shaking a car.[3:13:39] My biggest problem with the shaking of the car video of me would be that I'm looking[3:13:44] really stupid, you know, that my hair is not done good, that I'm wearing a bad[3:13:49] shirt, you know, that I'm in my boxers, my peepees hanging[3:13:54] out. But no, hello, Mark. I mean, he looks great lifting a car.[3:13:59] It's really all that matters in a thing like this. You remember that guy Ned from Fred[3:14:04] or whatever his name was from the Try Guys. Ned, yes, of course.[3:14:10] Everybody would be like, oh, fuck that wife. Let's fucking kill that woman.[3:14:15] I bet there's something special about hella Mark Harley that he's able to get out of all this stuff.[3:14:19] Why is he not starring in a movie yet? He really should be and carry a whole picture.[3:14:24] I'll tell you, I got actually a telemark listing, which I hope he's become a listener[3:14:29] here. I'll surely give him the subscription for free if that's seven money problems.[3:14:34] But I came up with an amazing opportunity[3:14:39] idea for hella Mark to do, and he could be so famous very quick. Have you[3:14:44] guys heard of a fitness influencer named Joey[3:14:49] Swole? Get me a Joey Swole video, one of his[3:14:54] epic. What this guy does is he reviews videos[3:14:59] that people post of incidents that have happened within a gym.[3:15:04] Yeah. This is a big trend now where women at the gym,[3:15:09] what they'll do is they'll film themselves working out and then they'll see[3:15:14] in the corner of the video, there's like a black guy going and then they'll write on the TikTok[3:15:19] like, can you believe this perv is looking at me? And Joey Swole is a big defender[3:15:24] of these men who keep getting busted in these TikToks.[3:15:29] I'll show you here. We'll go to Joey Swole right now. I'll actually show you an example.[3:15:34] But I believe that Hella Mark Harley could be the new Joey Swole.[3:15:39] And he could be bigger than Joey Swole. And I don't like Joey[3:15:44] Swole. I'll tell you there's a lot of problems.[3:15:50] I'm addicted to Joey Swole. Hella Mark could be the biggest gym guy of all time. He has way more charisma than Joey[3:15:55] Swole. Okay, so here's an example of a Joey Swole video.[3:16:03] So first he shows like the TikTok that some girl has posted[3:16:08] about a creep gym creeper.[3:16:19] This sense of entitlement has gotten out of hand.[3:16:24] So then the stitch comes in, right? That's what they call the stitch.[3:16:29] Yeah. So Joey will see these videos and then he'll give his final word.[3:16:34] And then usually that's that. It's like Judge Swole. He's very much like one of those[3:16:39] TV judge shows that we used to have. I mean, his word is the final say.[3:16:44] So yeah, I'll do stuff like this.[3:17:14] I can't respect other people in a shared space. You don't belong filming at all. You need to do better.[3:17:19] Yep. Thanks Joey. Mind your own business. There he is. Mind your own business. You need to do better.[3:17:24] That's kind of what he says every time. Actually, can someone make a edit that's of[3:17:29] Hella Mark shaking the car and then Joey Swole comes in and he's like, this behavior[3:17:34] will not be tolerated. That would be great. This is all I'm saying. Hella Mark, you need[3:17:39] to steal Joey Swole's act and just do what Joey Swole does.[3:17:44] I promise you will be a hundred times bigger than him. You're the Joey Swole the world[3:17:49] needs. OK, we've got Joey Swole. He's fine. You're better.[3:17:54] Sometimes there is a guy who could do it better. I want Hella Mark starring in like a Harmony[3:17:59] Corinne movie like Beach Bomb. Yes, he would be great in Beach Bomb.[3:18:04] Yes. All right. Well, let's hear his excuse on why you shook the car and then we'll decide if[3:18:09] he's innocent or not. So let's let's talk about this here, Mark. Now, first of all, you[3:18:14] almost lifted the car. Were you holding the car in place? What was happening here? I am so strong. It's[3:18:19] crazy. No, I was just like bouncing up anonymous suspension. OK, so you hop in the car a little bit. OK,[3:18:24] now you were you were infuriated. Now, why were you so mad here? So the reason[3:18:29] that I was so upset in that moment, I can't even imagine if somebody asked me a question[3:18:34] about me being really mad, like it would be[3:18:39] so none of your business. You know what I mean? That's what makes Hella Mark great is he[3:18:44] allows it to be everyone's business. Whereas me, I would go, what did you just[3:18:49] say to me? This interview's all I walked out of an interview the other day. You guys see[3:18:54] that viral clip? Go find that on YouTube. I walked, I stormed out of a show[3:18:59] last week because they were being invasive. All right, let's hear his[3:19:04] excuse. Is because the first step you need to understand is Luana has a history[3:19:09] Luana is her name. I love that. Doesn't that make that more shitcomatic?[3:19:14] What is her name? Lalana? Luana. Luana.[3:19:20] Luana, I think that's a perfect abused girlfriend for him. I believe[3:19:25] whom? I think it doesn't King of the Hill have a Luana? Luana. Isn't Bert[3:19:30] Kreischer's wife's name Leanne? Bloop. And now you're under my control.[3:19:35] It's Bert Kreischer's wife and they're saying bloop. And now you're under my[3:19:40] control, not mind control. That's a famous clip from when[3:19:45] she was bitching about Ari Shafir drugging Bert Kreischer's drink. He's like,[3:19:50] yep, just put in the pill. And he's like, bloop. Now you're under my control.[3:19:55] I loved that. To have control like that. I might start drugging people,[3:20:00] to be honest. So I don't know where we were at, but there's Salomar[3:20:04] Karli. He's about to explain. He's about to explain. Yes. During fights, taking[3:20:09] my keys, like if I'm trying to leave somewhere, she'll call the cops or she'll[3:20:14] do something. And then she takes my car keys and takes my house keys off. And those are two things on the[3:20:19] same key holder and she'll grab it and run[3:20:24] it or hide it somewhere. And so it's a power game. Like if somebody does that once,[3:20:29] it's confusing. It's like, wait, where are my keys? But if somebody does that once, twice, three times, ten[3:20:34] times, it's like this immediate trigger. Right. I knew she was going to do it. She tricked me into[3:20:39] going outside. She might have thrown one of my possessions outside. I go outside and get it.[3:20:44] Then she runs back, takes my keys.[3:20:49] I want to buy him a bunch of new possessions. I feel bad for him. Let's[3:20:54] send him over a bunch of new possessions. What do you think he would like? I don't know. Let's get him[3:20:59] a big gift bag. And by gift bag, I just mean like an assortment of great stuff.[3:21:04] You know, like an assortment of $10,000 gifts. Well, maybe we should get her one too.[3:21:09] We can't be giving potential. But she's the one throwing his... What was the word?[3:21:14] Possessions? Possessions. My possessions! Some people like you.[3:21:19] That's kind of like my property. I like that. When I was a kid, I would go, you're standing on my property.[3:21:24] That's my property. You know, my parents house, the lawn, the line between the two lawns.[3:21:29] That's my property. And Possessions is right up there with my property.[3:21:34] Those are my possessions. She threw my possessions.[3:21:39] OK, your stuff shouldn't possess anything. So that's a possessive attitude there[3:21:44] that he's probably holding over her. I don't think so. I think Luanna is crazy. I believe Hella Mark.[3:21:49] There's this moment where I'm like, oh, the fucking you know, like I was so infuriated because she tricked me,[3:21:54] locked me outside. I'm outside in board shorts and a tank top. And she's trying to leave[3:21:59] for the weekend, by the way. Like this was before some like trip she had planned.[3:22:04] She gets my car keys and apartment keys, locks the door behind me and[3:22:09] then tries to drive off. Now, of course, the way I dealt with that situation, as I said, wasn't ideal.[3:22:14] The most rational thing to do would have been called to call my landlord. No, I really hate talking[3:22:19] to him because he's this grumpy old man. So like in my head, I'm like, I don't want to. If you have the ability to hold a car, you do it.[3:22:24] The only reason we're not doing that is because we can't. I'd be holding cars all day.[3:22:29] They'd call me the human winch.[3:22:35] So, yes, if someone's driving away with your possessions and apartment keys.[3:22:40] No, you're not going to call her. Hi, the landlord. Yeah, my keys were taken by my wife.[3:22:45] We're having a domestic incident today. So come on by. That's humiliating.[3:22:50] Holding a car, if you can, is the best move. I think he's making perfect for[3:22:55] what he does. Perfect for the fitness, for the physical fitness.[3:23:00] You know, I think he should sell a line of rear ends of cars that are used[3:23:05] for push pull workouts, you know, instead of like a sleigh, instead of truck nuts.[3:23:10] You have a little Hella Mark doll hanging on the back of your car. That would be a great gag gift.[3:23:15] Sure. But if he came out with his own fitness line surrounding this abuse scandal,[3:23:20] I mean, I could see these cool little like 45 degree handles that[3:23:25] maybe put on the back of somebody's bumper so that you could pull their car more easily and get a perfect[3:23:30] upright row, you know, or you can push it like a sled. I seen those guys doing[3:23:35] that back and forth at Zoo Culture, my gym. I work out at this place in Los[3:23:40] Angeles when I'm there called Zoo Culture. Look it up. The Zoo Culture gym.[3:23:45] That's where you made friends with Kevin Cerebo. Yes, Kevin Cerebo[3:23:50] is a good friend of mine and friends with a lot of[3:23:55] people who work out at Zoo. If you follow Zoo Culture, here's a tip. You want to see[3:24:00] access footage of me. You want to see footage of me at the gym. Subscribe to Zoo Culture[3:24:05] YouTube channel. You'll see me in the gym sometimes. If you could spot me in[3:24:10] one of the Zoo Culture videos, you send the clip, you win a prize. There was another if you could spot me.[3:24:15] If you can find Mike in an episode of Love is Blind this newest season, then you win a prize.[3:24:20] So listen to this. I am in. And what season is this? This is[3:24:25] a contest, official contest. Cut to me so we could have this officialized.[3:24:30] Season 4 Love of Blind is out right now. I am in one of the[3:24:35] episodes. Okay. In the background. If you could find me[3:24:40] in one of the episodes, the first person to find me and send in the video clip, you must send in a clip.[3:24:45] Even just a screenshot is fine. No, no, no. I want the clip. Okay.[3:24:50] This comes from work. The first person who could find a clip of me in the background[3:24:55] of one of the episodes of the new season of Love is Blind, you will win[3:25:00] $100.[3:25:05] She had to sign me the other day because I keep the numbers getting high. I'm like a thousand for everything. A thousand for[3:25:10] every that's too much. Yeah. And one day I'm going to[3:25:15] go, I'm going to just say the wrong thing. I'm going to go five thousand. All you gotta do is leave a comment.[3:25:20] And remember, I'm not getting anything from these contests. These contests are just,[3:25:25] you know, drunken stupidness. Well, I kind of think that Helimar Carly[3:25:30] probably is violent. Really? But. No, no, no. And that's[3:25:35] not what we're trying to show here today. I really didn't know that. You think he's violent? Can't you see him being[3:25:40] like, no, again, if he was violent, she'd be dead. That I guess is a good[3:25:45] point. And, um, but he's just so cute at twisting everything. And that's all[3:25:50] that he has is his carpet. I mean, really, there'd be more. You'd hear more Helimar horror stories.[3:25:55] I don't believe he's a bad guy. I don't believe he is abusive. I think[3:26:00] she's, I think that if you admit to a small abuse, like the head[3:26:05] flick, then you're honest or you're lying. Then I think that that's[3:26:10] you. Your inner thoughts. You consider the head flick that he did. That's your guilt[3:26:15] that you need to admit to one thing. Well, I know other people do that. And then it's kind[3:26:20] of off your chest. I do know, of course. I know that's a move. But that doesn't, he's still[3:26:25] Helimar. I wonder how much he'd have[3:26:30] to do on video for me to not like him. Isn't that funny?[3:26:35] You know, there are guys out there, comedians out there that like said[3:26:40] but instead of and, and I, you know, will torment them for the rest of their lives.[3:26:45] Helimar Harley could really, if he cut her head off with[3:26:50] a knife and held it in one of these videos, I'd probably still[3:26:55] as long as he didn't get arrested, of course. You know, I don't work with criminals.[3:27:00] I don't know what to think about anybody. Is that it for Helimar there? Is that it? I mean, it[3:27:05] can be or it can not be. I don't know. I mean, you know, we got a lot to watch some[3:27:10] of the other videos. I think I've spent a, yeah. Why don't you give me two more of the abuse videos?[3:27:15] Go back to next up. Yeah. And we'll end it there. We'll watch two more abusive videos.[3:27:20] Tons of Helimar videos because I think that's a post with a lot. Yeah. Okay. Let's see.[3:27:25] Helimar Harley stuff. And there's another one here. It's under that. Oh, more[3:27:30] Helimar posts. Yeah. Do tons of Helimar.[3:27:35] Got it. Got it. Got it. I think that's Facebook. Yeah. Okay.[3:27:40] Oh wow. Okay. So a guy named Charles[3:27:46] posted this in our group on Facebook, the bring back group. You could ask to join that group at[3:27:51] redbarradio.net slash BBG. Um, he says,[3:27:55] this is a fucking movie. Uh, scoop straight from the devil himself. Helimar[3:28:00] better get his, uh, get this on his acting reel. BBG first to[3:28:05] see. Okay. This was great. He's got some of the videos from Helen Marks. All right. Let's watch[3:28:10] them. Me on mute. Yeah.[3:28:19] Okay. So here all I saw, all I saw was Helen Mark being attacked here.[3:28:24] That's a point for him. Let's see that one more time. Come on. Why is everything[3:28:29] frozen here? Helen Mark. It's not allowing me to play[3:28:34] or close or do anything now. Look at this. This is Facebook.[3:28:41] I can't quit Google Chrome. I mean, that's crazy. I can't even, oh, I can't escape. Okay.[3:28:46] Is it going to let me play now? There we go. Yeah.[3:28:50] Ah, ah, ah.[3:28:55] Stop. Okay. He perfectly innocent in that video, right?[3:29:00] Nothing wrong with that one. Let's watch another one. This one seems sad. Oh really?[3:29:05] I don't like seeing a woman cry. I hate this auto mute. Look, and[3:29:10] because the players all fucked up, I can't even unmute. We're going to have to watch them like this. Here we go. You hate what? When women[3:29:15] cry? Isn't seeing a woman cry give you a rumbly tumbly?[3:29:20] No, not when it's one of these white trash shit women. I could care less. The only time[3:29:25] I'd see a girl cry that I'd care about is if it was a really nice white. Like watching Whitney[3:29:30] get raped last night was brutal for me. That was tough.[3:29:35] For like a second. Okay, he or she just cry baby. It's here.[3:29:40] The players are right. I would say, I would say, I know you are, but prove it.[3:29:45] I would say, I would say, I know you are. Let's see if we could skim through like this. We saw[3:29:50] that one. You're going to the police, Mark. I'm just trying to grow my hair again.[3:29:55] You're not letting me leave. You actually just said you won't let me leave.[3:30:00] If I go to the police. I'm going to the police because you just assaulted me multiple times in a row.[3:30:05] Are you going to ruin my eye anymore?[3:30:10] He's being attacked. All right, let's see some more hair. You did. You hit me with a frying pan. Yes I did[3:30:15] because you killed my cat after use of abusing me. You killed my cat.[3:30:21] What did you do to me on my head?[3:30:26] You hit me in the head multiple times. Why don't you do it for the camera? Why don't you do it for the camera?[3:30:31] What do you want to do Mark? You hit me with a frying pan.[3:30:36] Is that a good one? See this one. That's it.[3:30:41] That's enough for me.[3:30:46] Well, I don't know. Wait, just ask the eight ball. Oh, yeah. Where's that eight ball? Here we go.[3:30:51] Oh, this is perfect. Is Hella Mark Harley guilty of abuse[3:30:56] or innocent of abuse? Well, no, you have to ask him just yet one question.[3:31:01] Is he guilty? Okay. Is Hella Mark guilty of abuse?[3:31:10] As I see it. Yes.[3:31:15] No. Wait, show the camera there. As I see it. Yes. Can you see that?[3:31:20] As I see it. Yes. Wow. Okay. No.[3:31:25] Been wrong twice then today. Okay. So remember we used this to see[3:31:30] if Bobby Lee was innocent or guilty. It turns out he was innocent.[3:31:35] And wait. Yeah. Can I get more details on he killed her cat? Yeah. What's this cat[3:31:40] killing? You see that slam dunk I almost made when I miss a shot.[3:31:45] I go, you see that shot I almost made instead of, wow. Did you see when I miss?[3:31:50] It's called positivity. Try it sometimes. Okay.[3:31:55] Where should we go next? We got a whole show of great stuff. I'm willing to go wherever it takes. We just thought we[3:32:00] would wing it today. I got an announcement actually.[3:32:05] Maybe we should get to this contest here so that we don't forget about that. I got an announcement. So I've been[3:32:10] sick and we actually, we never had time to[3:32:15] practice or pick out an ending performance for today's show. Yeah.[3:32:20] Of course, a lot of people tune in just for these performances at the end. And[3:32:25] so we're going to leave that to everybody here today. Maybe they could pick out[3:32:30] something for me to perform here at the end. What do you guys say?[3:32:35] It's either that or nothing. So you must choose and I'll have Jules ask the chat.[3:32:40] You guys come to your own conclusion. Do that all on the side. You all have to agree on[3:32:45] one song and then we'll try it. And I would pick out 10 or 15 songs because I'm going to say no to a lot of these.[3:32:50] But we're going to let you guys choose the ending performance for today.[3:32:56] Or we won't do one. Wait, I have a question for you. Do you know anything about what's going on with[3:33:01] Bud Light? In regards to?[3:33:06] I've heard that something going on. Because someone in the chat was like, I'm surprised Mike doesn't have a[3:33:11] Bud Light today. What's going on with Bud Light, buddy? That they used a[3:33:16] transgender person in their ad. And a lot of people are upset[3:33:21] about it. Can I see the ad, please? I got to see what kind of tranny it is.[3:33:26] Every other podcast has only been talking about this Bud Light thing.[3:33:31] Gavin was wearing a Budweiser shirt and Lewis J Gomez is doing Bud Light.[3:33:36] And I was just thinking, I don't even think you even know about this stuff.[3:33:41] Ever since you stopped checking your phone. I did hear something about Bud Light over the last week. I don't remember what it was.[3:33:46] Now, for those of you who don't know, I'm actually, there's a lot of,[3:33:51] like, for instance, the Taylor Swift Lavender Haze video. They got a big Indian[3:33:56] trans man in her bed. And they showed him on the screen at the concert and everything.[3:34:01] I'm against that. That's disgusting. And I don't[3:34:06] know why Taylor Swift is pretending a big trans man is her boyfriend.[3:34:11] That's pretty fucking hardcore. Well, I think that's hardcore.[3:34:16] So, yeah, it depends what the video is. People think that I'm all- Maybe they hooked up and it caused her breakup.[3:34:21] Just because I think people are a little obsessed with trans people doesn't mean[3:34:26] that it could be very, really disgusting sometimes. Are we going to watch that or no?[3:34:31] Are we going to see the clip? We brought it up. We should see the clip.[3:34:36] I'm just wondering if you'd heard about that. I know, but I think now we've wondered too much. I want to see it.[3:34:41] I think everybody's seen it. I haven't seen it at all. Okay. Okay. It's a two-second Budweiser[3:34:46] commercial. How bad could it be? Let me find it. Yeah. And then I can just see it really quick and see if it's,[3:34:51] I'll deem it disgusting or not. You know, that's what we were talking about.[3:34:56] Magic 8-balls and all this stuff. But yeah, I would love to see that. I find trans people's[3:35:01] inclusion in media to be gross.[3:35:06] Okay. So yeah, I guess we're waiting on that. And then I think we should get into this[3:35:11] contest and pick a winner for our red bars watching sticker[3:35:16] contest. I might actually want to do the light news theme song contest first as we get into light[3:35:21] news here, you know, since this is a light news type of thing, this Budweiser thing.[3:35:26] Is it on my desk? It's really not worth talking about. The only reason I was bringing it up is because I-[3:35:32] My mind is going a million miles a minute. I want to see the trans people that's got the world talking.[3:35:37] I mean this trans inclusionist. So far I see Kid Rock.[3:35:42] I know I couldn't find the original ad. Who is it? The UCF. Did you see this MMA match they had? It was a big one[3:35:47] because Donald Trump was there. Did you see this with Donald Trump? And he's standing right[3:35:52] next to Rogan. Yet there's not one picture of Trump and Rogan[3:35:57] from this event. So Donald Trump was at the UCF. Is that a UFC?[3:36:02] Yeah. And Mike Tyson's there. Kid Rock's there.[3:36:07] Dana White's there. All these people are there. Big Mike's there. Jeff.[3:36:12] FM is there. And they're all filming Trump. And Trump's just standing. This is what I didn't[3:36:17] understand anyway. MMA guys are so into MMA[3:36:22] that they would rather watch the fight[3:36:27] than Donald Trump standing there days after his arrest. You know it's so crazy[3:36:32] because the entire world was in New York City last week trying to just get a glimpse[3:36:37] of him walking out of the courtroom. That was like the big thing.[3:36:42] And now he's at UFC and he's just standing there while every eye is on the[3:36:47] Octagon. And not one eye on Trump which was weird.[3:36:52] And Joe Rogan's just like sitting right here commentating and Trump's right here.[3:36:57] Not one picture of Joe Rogan and Trump online. Did you talk to[3:37:02] him? Joe Rogan won't even mention this. It's weird that[3:37:07] you know Trump three days ago was the biggest deal in the world and now he's at UFC[3:37:12] and nobody even cared. There's like three pictures. Nobody cared. Very weird. Kid Rock[3:37:17] was there. That's what reminded me of this. Let's see here's his commercial. Grandpa's feeling a little frisky today.[3:37:22] Anheuser-Busch this week became the latest company to face backlash from conservatives.[3:37:27] I wanted to see the commercial. I know I'm having trouble finding the original thing. Well that's bad for Budweiser.[3:37:32] OK here it is. They're going to play it here. Bud Light Beer's sponsorship of transgender activist[3:37:38] OK I'm watching it. I kept hearing about this thing called March Madness[3:37:43] and I thought we were all just having a hectic month. Yeah shoot her dad kill her.[3:37:48] Why is she in the beer? I don't want her anywhere near the beer. Try[3:37:53] drinking that beer now. See what kind of walking weird shit starts happening to your mind.[3:37:58] OK. Yeah. Get her out. And she was insane by the way. That's the type of tranny that's ruining it for[3:38:03] everybody there. Because every tranny they put on TV or show you[3:38:08] is batshit insane. And these guys have had enough.[3:38:13] So they really if you trans people care about this war you've got to find some sane[3:38:18] trannies and get them on TV quick because that woman was[3:38:23] they're all like ghostly weird like really like[3:38:28] absurdly not human feeling you know[3:38:33] like nightmarish creatures. And that's not going to work. People are that's[3:38:38] fear. Yes. You know at least a gay guy look like a guy.[3:38:43] You know Tim Dillon is gay. Did you know that. I have to[3:38:48] remind myself every time I'm watching that he's gay. Remember this. This is me fucking[3:38:53] Tim Dillon up his ass and something he'd enjoy. Isn't that right Tim.[3:38:58] And I got a rumor for you. Here's a new rumor for everybody. Listen to this. Write this down. New rumor[3:39:03] from Red Bar. Tim Dillon has a crush a real[3:39:08] crush on Bert Kreischer. Tell everyone. I have[3:39:13] verified proof. You know Tim's he's a horny ass gay guy. You don't think[3:39:18] he's got a crush on one of these guys. It's Bert. I never think of Bert as his type.[3:39:23] I know. I thought he was into like Ben types. No no no.[3:39:28] Trust me. Tell everyone. Tell everyone. That I did you know somebody[3:39:33] started a YouTube called Tell Everyone. Have you seen this. Let's see if I could find this.[3:39:38] Somebody started a YouTube channel about Red Bar called Tell Everyone. And I thought that was the[3:39:43] coolest name. Tell everyone. That's a good phrase. That's better than send help.[3:39:48] Tell everyone. Here it is. Tell everyone. Oh he[3:39:53] changed the name of the channel to H3ME. What does that mean?[3:39:58] But you guys should subscribe to this. I don't think he's going to be making videos about me[3:40:03] anymore because he sent me an email. Listen to this. This guy sent me an[3:40:08] email asking if he could monetize the clips and I said no.[3:40:13] Well I didn't say that. I said Red Bar is 100 percent anti[3:40:18] advertising and we cannot be associated with ads of any kind. Thank[3:40:23] you. And he said OK well then I'm going to turn this into an H3 clips channel because[3:40:28] I need money. Well maybe we could support him in another way because his clips are really good.[3:40:33] So take a look at this. And you can find this now by going to[3:40:38] H3ME on YouTube. But then[3:40:43] don't go to home. Forget home. Home is a madhouse on these pages. Go to videos.[3:40:48] Then you scroll down until you see me. And look at these great[3:40:53] thumbnails here. Look at this. Going in one dream deeper[3:40:58] they fear him. And look I'm sorry I'm trying not to. They fear him. And then it's[3:41:03] Christie Stefano and me. I like this. When I saw this I lit up Red Bar gifts[3:41:08] when is Red Bar on. Which is the one I saw. OK here we go. Ari Shafir[3:41:13] bombs in front of best friend Joe. I got to show you this guy's editing. It's really cute.[3:41:18] Tell everyone. Dude you guys got to come out. You see how he opens the clip.[3:41:23] You see what I mean. It starts with him saying tell[3:41:28] everyone which I think is one of my sayings. And you know I had just said it. That's what[3:41:33] brought me the idea to show you this clip channel. I just said tell everyone. I love that.[3:41:38] Can we.[3:41:41] Bert Kreischer something around that you know. Make some loot around that slogan.[3:41:46] I like that slogan. Let's market size this thing. Tell everyone. I love how petty and[3:41:51] childish that is. You hear something about somebody and you tell it to tell everyone.[3:41:56] So that's the theme of this guy's YouTube channel. I thought that was very creative. Let's watch what he does here.[3:42:01] Tell everyone. Dude you guys got to come out to my room. Nice.[3:42:06] Ari. This inhaled. So rewarding and organic.[3:42:11] Just a couple of guys hanging out on their deck.[3:42:17] We've got some more cigar content and this is kind of a big theme for us. And then it[3:42:22] goes into the video. He does these epic intros. It's a nice clip. Now he said he's going to stop doing[3:42:27] them because he can't run ads on them.[3:42:32] What can we do to. I think this is good. We want him to keep making these and these are good[3:42:37] enough. Even if you've seen the show once. You'd probably want to watch these[3:42:42] videos. Let's see another one here because these are really. You'll see. You'll see what I mean.[3:42:47] Pay him. Tell. Oh yeah. I can just pay him. Okay. How about this. How[3:42:52] much. Well now I can't get involved in something like that.[3:42:57] I would love to. Is there a way I could. We're open to making a deal. Okay.[3:43:02] Yeah maybe. Watch this. Tell everyone like back now.[3:43:07] I feed off their fears.[3:43:14] Yes. Bring me my Chris. Have I gone too far. Dream invasion.[3:43:19] Technology. Roll it. I feel like there was a time where it was[3:43:24] much more nice intro. That's nice. I like this clipper a lot.[3:43:29] Here's my provision to clip clip clip. As long as he's not giving away the whole army there[3:43:34] and then you should keep doing it. I don't know why you need money for anything.[3:43:39] I want to show you know why I brought up hella mark to begin with because somebody made an edit. It includes us[3:43:44] to this hella mark thing we watched this morning. I just wanted to show them the part with me. I thought that was very funny.[3:43:49] This came out and you should watch this video on your own as well. This thing was actually insane.[3:43:54] I watched this first thing this morning. She's going to send it over. Wait till you see this. Oh I sent it two[3:43:59] links ago. Oh great. Two links. Oh there it is. Yeah.[3:44:04] I'll tell you what this is called in a second. Just give me an emotional second. This is called dying[3:44:09] for your attention. Brendan Schaub versus hella Mark Harley featuring red bar[3:44:14] doesn't have that many viewers. Seven point six K. But this video is insane.[3:44:19] I mean the work that went into this. I'll show you a little bit of it. It's too[3:44:24] long to watch the whole thing. It's 10 minutes. But I would suggest go watch this after the show.[3:44:55] Brian Kelly is an actor comedian. When I first moved to L.A. I didn't have anyone's number. I only had Brian's number in my cell phone.[3:45:00] I was on a losing streak in Denver. I just needed that kind of push because I was like[3:45:05] I guess I'll lose this next fight. I can keep fighting. Be just a guy. Make decent money.[3:45:10] And then I guess open a fucking cardio kickboxing school. I don't know what to do.[3:45:15] Brian was just like will you please focus on the comedy and shows and podcasts.[3:45:20] I'm telling you to do it. Do you have the ability to do other shit. And now you have to[3:45:25] fight this not wanting to go out like that instinct because I lost my last fight[3:45:30] by TKO and I remember thinking man I can't go out. Got knocked out. But you have to.[3:45:35] I've never been sicker since I got with a Mexican man. Dude I mean they eat bean cheese, bean cheese,[3:45:40] bean cheese, bean cheese. I'm like the hell man. We're just going to carb load year round.[3:45:45] It is what it is. If you keep going it's not good. It doesn't get better.[3:45:50] I moved to L.A. Brian was the only number I had in my phone. I get emotional talking about it.[3:45:55] He's emotional. He's crying. And he was my only friend.[3:46:00] And my entire life I wanted to be like a comedian actor.[3:46:08] I don't know what else to do. I really don't. I really don't. I just think things are going to happen.[3:46:14] And you can only control what you can control. And I don't know what else to do man.[3:46:19] Being a quit. What the hell else are you going to do? Especially if you have kids. Are you fucking kidding me?[3:46:24] I'm a son. There's no way. There's no way.[3:46:32] Am I on? You're on.[3:46:35] Good evening ladies and gentlemen. Thank you for tuning in.[3:46:41] Cell phone ringing.[3:46:44] Right on time too.[3:46:47] It's me.[3:46:50] No one's picking up.[3:46:53] He says he has a communication with me. The man.[3:46:56] Weights are being wrapped.[3:46:59] Look at this.[3:47:03] So this is big.[3:47:07] You hear him?[3:47:13] I mean he's right there.[3:47:16] You know sometimes a guy can rule.[3:47:19] And don't mistake ruling for somebody who sucks.[3:47:23] Oh he's conducting.[3:47:26] Yeah it's okay. Ladies and gentlemen.[3:47:29] Hella Mark Harley.[3:47:32] Look at this.[3:47:35] This is a trip.[3:47:38] Hell yeah.[3:47:41] This audio is insane.[3:47:44] The hair. The gold teeth. The everything. I couldn't believe you existed.[3:47:50] So you gotta watch it. It gets crazy. I don't know what the point is.[3:47:55] It's amazing. But it is wild. Man that took me to another place. There it is.[3:48:00] And that's of course you can find that on the Elephant Graveyard YouTube channel.[3:48:05] You'll see it when you see it. Get this. Somebody already found you in Love is Blind.[3:48:10] They did? Yup. And you verified that it's real? Yup.[3:48:13] This is insane. And you really have the clip? Yup.[3:48:17] He sent it to me in a Facebook message. Uh oh. So I might have to forward it to you. Okay.[3:48:22] Well this is exciting. Just minutes ago I said I was in an[3:48:27] episode of Love is Blind. Season 4. The first guy who finds the clip in this.[3:48:32] He'll win a hundred bucks. Right? A hundred bucks. Casharoo.[3:48:37] And somebody already found me in Love is Blind. We're going to review the footage now to see if this is accurate here.[3:48:44] Let me go over to my beautiful program.[3:48:49] And you're forwarding it to me via Facebook message. So we're just waiting for that to pop up.[3:48:54] Jules sent a video. Now can I save? I don't think you can.[3:48:59] Okay. Hold on. I just got to get this situated over here. Okay.[3:49:04] Let's blow it up and see if this guy actually found me on Love is Blind.[3:49:09] I might have to do this a few times. Let's see. Pause. How do I? Here we go.[3:49:14] Okay. Here's the video.[3:49:20] This is it. This is the video. There. Wait.[3:49:27] Wait. Oh, this is the only clip you sent? Yeah. Okay.[3:49:31] Here I'll pause it on this. Oh, come on. Pause.[3:49:36] Thank you. I hate this fucking shit. Okay. I'll do it here and then I'll zoom in.[3:49:43] They literally found me in the background.[3:49:48] We saw this guy. We were dying. How did somebody do that?[3:49:53] How did somebody do that? We literally asked you five minutes ago.[3:49:58] If you can. And it's not. Here's the kicker. It ain't me. It's some asshole[3:50:03] that looks like me at my worst. And he's on the camera for two seconds[3:50:08] as a lady walks by in the background. How? I need to hear how this guy found this.[3:50:13] This was Kevin Kev. He's a star. Love that guy. Yeah.[3:50:20] And how did he find it? He's explaining now. Let's see what he says. Let's see what he says. That's incredible.[3:50:25] He said, I literally saw the same ep last night and thought, that's mine.[3:50:30] Wow. And that's really what we were hoping for. That's what we. Has anyone seen[3:50:35] tar? Has anyone out there seen tar? Oh, they have. A lot of people claim tar[3:50:40] after you did the speech, but nobody seemed to recognize it when you were reading the lines. So[3:50:45] they don't love tar that much. No, because they should have been screaming tar, tar, tar. Not as much as us.[3:50:50] And the tar, the R, by the way, has a little thing over it. Right? Or the A, the A. Okay.[3:50:55] That was breathtaking. That was really cool to see. You know what? I'm going to give that guy[3:51:00] one hundred and twenty five. See, I could have constrained one hundred and twenty five bucks to that[3:51:05] man. He was watching it. He saw that asshole. He goes, it looks like mine. Thank you[3:51:10] for having me and your thoughts like that. That just blows my mind. That's incredible.[3:51:15] Just incredible. And you should have seen this. This is probably the best. This guy[3:51:20] looked so fucking faggoty. This look alike of mine in the background of this video.[3:51:25] Like there are way worse shots of him. I just can't believe you threw it and you got the clip and everything. Well,[3:51:30] congratulations. Fucking. That was so cool. Okay. Where should we go next year?[3:51:35] Oh, yeah. The contest. Let's do the contest. Yes. This is exciting. Ready? Okay. Let me take some[3:51:40] breaths here. Let me have a sip. I've been getting out of breath lately. Fast too.[3:51:45] I think it's this long because you must have had covid too. Yeah. But vaccinated. You got[3:51:50] over it here. So should I have like a one day fever and some sneezing?[3:51:55] Yeah. But then when we did the tests, I tested negative and you tested positive. So I guess I got over it faster.[3:52:00] I've been affected ever since. And my breath is very short. You know, I can notice this during my physical[3:52:05] routines in the gym that my breath is very, very short. How long[3:52:10] have we been on so far? Because I'm trying to time out a specialty drink. We've been[3:52:15] on for two forty five since I started the. It doesn't[3:52:20] say how long you've been streaming for there. Oh, four ten. Four ten. Okay. I think that's a good time[3:52:25] to take one of my fuels here. And again, this is not a plug. I just[3:52:30] think it's very funny for me. I'm not going to show you the label. I[3:52:35] use these fuels, man. And now I found out they have all different kinds. This one is[3:52:40] well, you know, don't buy this nigger[3:52:46] ultra energized liquid super fuel shop. That's not the brand.[3:52:51] This thing's got fifteen hundred milligrams of beta[3:52:56] alanine. I had one of those this morning and I kind of feel weird.[3:53:01] I also messed up the beginning of the show recording. So[3:53:06] this has steak grams. Okay. Eight grams of protein.[3:53:11] Ten grams of carbs. Zero fat. Gluten free.[3:53:16] Power speed and endurance.[3:53:21] So I was going to say, you know, about four hours in, I'm going to do one of these power shots.[3:53:26] See if it wakes me up. They only take 15 minutes to kick in. I use this as my pre[3:53:31] workout the other day. We were up all night. We were up all night.[3:53:36] Talking and talking and Gavin didn't get to bed till five.[3:53:41] I really couldn't fall asleep. I checked this. I took this at 8 p.m. Couldn't get to bed till[3:53:46] five. Let's try.[3:53:51] Tastes like nigger juice. Just so they know it's not an ad.[3:53:56] No one would say that with the brand. The brand would be very disappointed[3:54:01] in that. Black people blood.[3:54:06] Kind of messy to get in.[3:54:11] My fuel.[3:54:16] Thank you for allowing me to do that in front of you. That's going to give you guys[3:54:21] some better show. That's going to get you guys pumped. All right. Let's do this contest here today. We're going to start[3:54:26] with the light news theme song contest. This is where we do[3:54:31] a little segment called light news. We go over the news really quickly, you know, towards the[3:54:36] beginning of the show. And we used to have a nice theme song for this and we don't have one now.[3:54:41] And I feel like I can't even do the segment without a theme song. So we said we got so many talented creative[3:54:46] creators out there. Why don't we see what our listeners could do and they could maybe[3:54:52] put a song together for us. We'll pick a winner. We'll give them a thousand bucks. That's fair.[3:54:57] More than they deserve. Trust me. So let's do it. It's the[3:55:02] light news theme song contest.[3:55:07] Coming up. Here we go.[3:55:12] I'll bring up my finalist.[3:55:17] There we go.[3:55:22] Submissions.[3:55:26] Welcome to the red bar light news theme song contest where one talented[3:55:31] artist is going to receive a thousand dollars today. So we better get[3:55:36] going through some of these here very quickly. I'm going to just start[3:55:41] playing them from the top. OK, we'll just start doing that. These are fun because they're audio.[3:55:46] Will you read the name of each one first? Yes, of course. So write this down. This is going to be tough to pick.[3:55:51] Let's start with Igor. OK, where are[3:55:56] Igor? He sent two files, two WAV files here. Should I just[3:56:01] open it in quick time? See where that brought me. Great. Here's Igor.[3:56:06] Igor is light news entry. I'm so sorry. Give me a second, fellas.[3:56:11] Igor is light news entry here.[3:56:33] Get high for this. Get high for it. Not too high.[3:56:38] You're working.[3:56:47] This is just an instrumental, huh? Seems like it. Just an instrumental. OK, thank you[3:56:52] very much, Igor. It seems to go on and on. Don't forget to remember the name[3:56:57] of the one you like. Yeah. OK, so you guys got to be keeping some kind of tab at home. This is very[3:57:02] complicated. It's going to be complicated. The prize is huge. That was Igor.[3:57:07] OK, let's go to Aharon Herbert. Let's see this guy here.[3:57:12] Aharon Herbert. That's A-H-A-R-O-N.[3:57:17] And let's hear his MP3.[3:57:22] Oh, that was my bad. That was my bad. Sorry, guys. Remember I just came back from[3:57:27] I had COVID-19. So I'm having a lot of brain fog related to COVID.[3:57:32] Here it is. Light news theme song.[3:58:02] OK.[3:58:18] OK, very nice. That's Aharon. A-H-R-A-R.[3:58:23] A bunch of R's and all this stuff. OK, let's listen to Alex Gutierrez.[3:58:28] He's next on the light news theme song contest, and that's Alex Gutierrez.[3:58:35] Sounds Mexican. Let's hear what this Mexican came up with.[3:58:40] Light news.[3:58:45] Light news.[3:58:50] Light news.[3:58:55] These are just openings.[3:59:00] Light news.[3:59:05] Listen to that bass, and I hope they're doing all the pedals themselves.[3:59:10] Light news.[3:59:15] Light news.[3:59:22] Let's wrap it up, Alex. Axl is his name, not Alex.[3:59:27] Axl Gutierrez. Thank you, Axl.[3:59:32] All right, let's go to the next one. There's a lot of these. That's why I'm kind of running through, and I don't really need to.[3:59:37] We're just judging it based on the best, coolest song. So that's it. You guys all got ears.[3:59:42] This is Dakota Loyless.[3:59:47] Dakota Loyless. Let's check it out.[3:59:52] Light everything on fire for the news.[3:59:57] Light everything on fire for the news,[4:00:02] Just light the news like it's like it's[4:00:09] Light everything on fire for the news.[4:00:14] Everything on fire for the news,[4:00:19] I like it. It's never gonna hit that if you make that the winner it's your ears[4:00:32] you're gonna be hearing it every show remember every show is gonna play this[4:00:35] I'll say right now I'm not allowing writing down the name of your favorite[4:00:40] guy yeah and I'll do a preview quickly of one that was Dakota loyalists yeah[4:00:45] okay we're gonna go to Dan cops let's listen to Dan cops's submission for the[4:00:51] light news theme song wait wait wait oh I'm so sorry Dan that was my fault[4:00:56] listen[4:01:03] okay just a nice jingle there very nice let's listen to Dom of Alex is that[4:01:12] right Dom of Alex another submission coming up this is just titled light news[4:01:19] this is from Dom or Dom or Alex okay write that down[4:01:27] okay thank you Dom or Alex all right let's listen to Aaron cock these are[4:01:50] some of the worst names I've ever heard no wonder you guys are writing fucking[4:01:53] songs for cash these are the worst names I've ever heard of in my life[4:01:58] listen to this guy's name Aaron er e n kaka bossy k o c a b a s I I mean the[4:02:10] names of these guys Dan cops Dakota lawless axel guterres a her on Herbert[4:02:18] Igor no wonder you're the bottom of the barrel making songs like this well the[4:02:24] last time I'm not saying that those names sound poor to me of course I didn't[4:02:29] say they sounded poor at all I never said poor I said that no wonder they[4:02:33] can't get ahead in this industry no then no wonder they're trying to get this[4:02:37] house okay but the last time you did a contest you gave away a laptop to like[4:02:41] the BBG's for inches that guy was so rich he like just threw it in a pile of[4:02:47] like eight other old laptops we didn't know how to pick so we just fast[4:02:51] scrolled through all the emails and then closed our eyes yeah put the laptop[4:02:54] winner from the email contest yeah all right well let's listen to Aaron cock[4:02:59] a bossy so these contests I hope goes to someone who's not rich that's all I'm[4:03:04] saying oh no I don't think that's the no we shouldn't have a hope for that these[4:03:08] are you know it doesn't matter if the poorest guy or the richest guy submits a[4:03:11] great theme song they deserve the money I mean that's still working we're gonna[4:03:15] be fair just a thought I have Aaron cock a bossy and I'm sure that's not how[4:03:21] it's pronounced I can't do these pronunciations[4:03:38] all right there he was Aaron cock a bossy this next one you might remember[4:03:45] this one's kind of famous and he's actually submitted two entries I'm going[4:03:48] to allow both of his two entries okay the last two but we're by the same guy[4:03:55] you're saying no the one I'm about to play you might recognize this next guy[4:04:00] he submitted two entries here we're gonna play them both I'm not gonna read[4:04:05] his name just yet because it might give it away but you might recognize this[4:04:11] guy's voice[4:04:41] what's in store you'll see[4:04:53] before I play you the rest of this one I want you to hear his second submission[4:04:59] to see if we could recognize this artist because this is pretty big all right[4:05:05] let's give this second one I think this is the one I meant to play first here[4:05:08] you go[4:05:11] you[4:05:31] hold on a second here I knew there's some more[4:05:38] let's keep listening[4:05:54] that's not quite what I remember yeah let's keep listening[4:06:08] I[4:06:15] that wasn't it let's give him one more shot yeah he's got one more[4:06:38] has anyone guessed yet Jules lovely has anyone guessed who that yes yes of[4:06:44] course oh they did I can be singing I didn't know I thought that's what we're[4:06:51] still waiting for I thought nobody had chimed in yet that guy's voice is so[4:06:56] unique and pro dirty muncha it's the guy who made salvos dirty muncha[4:07:01] song there's gonna be an AI of him shortly just like how there's an AI of[4:07:06] Kanye they can yeah it's gonna be all we hear yeah all right well that was[4:07:12] great that's the dirty muncha guy that I loved so much that was really cool that[4:07:16] I was able to get that as a gift from Xander so I wonder if that gave shall[4:07:23] look salvo in the chat he was earlier yeah I wonder if he heard that and his[4:07:28] heart stopped I kind of think he likes the song too I mean how could you man[4:07:33] sound I like it I have a slow version in my head now this is deflated like a[4:07:42] pancake dirty muncha dirty muncha I've been still singing that's the first[4:07:55] thing that we said when then we watched that video is that salvo is probably[4:08:01] gonna love this oh okay well there he was she submitted I won't give him the[4:08:06] money because he tried to take down my best friend you're in low in the lead[4:08:13] okay here's Kevin Clark with Kevin Clark's light news theme song entry[4:08:31] me too wow I mean that's pretty much what we were asking for remember I for[4:08:51] those you don't remember the rules of this contest I said we need a intro song[4:08:56] for light news and just make it something like this light news is cool[4:09:00] and like new right and he kind of just that's what he did he falls exactly what[4:09:05] I said that was Kevin Clark Kevin Clark all right let's check out Luke Sanders[4:09:12] hopefully not Bernie Sanders his cousin huh cuz you know about that guy all[4:09:19] right Luke Sanders let's give a listen[4:09:31] it's dark enough to see the stars the red bar is where we are[4:09:37] drink rise late news[4:09:43] trail news you could use that one for trail yeah when I'm camping and I see[4:10:00] you guys down by my ignite firebox pro okay let's see what I've got here oh[4:10:07] wait that's Luke Sanders you want to hear Matt Matt sent this is says[4:10:13] acoustic version acoustic version okay theme for light news I can't wait to[4:10:19] hear it Matt let's hear it[4:10:37] okay thank you gets the best of me too I heard that there all right let's go to[4:10:45] Mitch Mitch the bitch let's open out huh hopefully this Mitch is the farthest[4:10:52] thing from bitch we could ever think of because I don't want any beta ass[4:10:56] bitches his name isn't Mitch the bitch by the way no it's just it's just Mitch[4:11:02] I was just like Mitch the bitch sorry Mitch that could be like something he[4:11:10] was tortured with if I was a kid on his clay gun I'd go guys guys guys Mitch the[4:11:16] bitch let's come let's call him that for two years[4:11:20] okay and it's a hit you know that's like when Ethan and Melton go I get it I'm[4:11:25] fat got any other drugs no big slobs here's Mitch you know what's going down[4:11:52] late news with red ball it's light news by red bar nigga have you even heard of[4:12:02] it red red red bar nigga it's red ball[4:12:22] okay you gotta stop I loved it though that was Mitch yeah we loved it so much[4:12:45] okay this next guy is just labeled Saturday night Oh light news nice this[4:12:51] Saturday night out we'll just call him Saturday night out names out of what[4:12:55] your email was so so Saturday night Oh light news let's take a listen[4:13:02] Wow that's like 10,000 gags huh my ears perked up to that one yeah that was cool okay here's[4:13:24] another one you have to remember I feel like you and me should both get one vote okay too so you[4:13:29] should pick who you want to vote for you got it this is Seth Johnson take it away Seth[4:13:36] that would be perfect for Red Scare kind of you know the music Red Scare listens to[4:14:04] really probably Russian uh okay thank you that was Seth Johnson let's hear from[4:14:10] Troy there's only two more left two more left here this is Troy[4:14:15] that was Troy thank you very much Troy and here finally we have Wesley[4:14:40] name I really like I wish that name would come back Wesley[4:14:44] you know Wes no I like Wesley I used to know a guy named Wes when I was a little kid and his dog[4:14:51] bit me I'm pretty sure oh my god are you okay remember his dog being the only scary dog I've[4:14:56] ever known let's hear it from Wesley[4:15:14] please[4:15:17] come and lose your innovation take a son's hand[4:15:23] mission[4:15:41] starting to feel thank you Wesley and that uh is it for the light news theme song contest[4:15:48] submission sorry I'm uh while he was playing that was the perfect song to really[4:15:52] kick this in that beta alanine some people have a reaction to it they say where you start feeling[4:15:58] flush you start feeling a little tingly the beta alanine how long has it been since I took that[4:16:05] fuel pack 15 minutes yep pretty much exactly really you had a timer going for that I mean[4:16:12] based on it was like 4 10 when you feel it's the beta alanine you feel weird right because[4:16:18] I feel weird but that's just the beta alanine so I'm all sweaty yeah it almost feels like you're[4:16:25] starting to like MDMA is about to kick in I felt very strange since the beginning doesn't it feel[4:16:30] like you're about to be on MDMA I don't know if you're supposed to take pre-workouts before[4:16:36] sitting down for eight hours well I here's what I'll tell you what I've taken this is what I took[4:16:41] right before the show nine kradams one five hour energy extra strength and this pre-workout just[4:16:52] now and I'm telling you by the end of that last Wesley song I started oh wait why did you take[4:16:57] it when you already had a five hour because we were approaching five hours I wanted to get a head[4:17:02] start on the next batch of hours so I took this one on top of that I'm telling you I feel you are[4:17:08] 40 I feel my heart oh I could check my uh heart rate with the apple watch oh so where do you go[4:17:16] I'm oh man it's gonna go up now because I'm so scared let's see what my heart rate is right now[4:17:22] oh it's high a hundred wait current we're waiting this isn't gonna be good though because I can see[4:17:29] what my 118 is that high horrible it's supposed to be okay we gotta slow down though 118 is here[4:17:36] look at this 119 look at this zoom in on here can you see that 124 okay we gotta take a break[4:17:43] take a break so I can relax we'll be right back play some good music here I need just some water[4:17:49] here we'll be right back that's too high when we come back the winner of the light news theme song[4:17:57] contest on a calming song thank you very much[4:18:00] you want to fill this up with some more water we'll be right back[4:18:07] so[4:18:19] pick you up at home quarter to three ask you if you want somebody[4:18:26] drive around get drunk do it over a kid[4:18:30] wake you up at night quarter to one I can never stop wanna have fun[4:18:40] don't be oh yeah yeah you're gonna get to vote in just one second when we come back[4:18:47] because every time you say you're gonna go I just smile because babe I already know[4:18:55] you know I got nothing to lose[4:19:10] at your back door yelling because I want to come[4:19:19] turn your light on[4:19:24] look at us[4:19:35] usually we got nothing to do screw it maybe you should go and record some of the songs[4:19:46] got my dress on because you know that I like shining in the light there's so much right[4:19:53] on this life and how we write[4:20:03] let the light[4:20:08] let your bed[4:20:18] turn your light[4:20:22] look at us[4:20:37] put the beetles on like the candles go back to me[4:20:53] flowers[4:21:05] they're saying it's fine that's okay[4:21:11] you know when your heart rate starts going fast then you could start[4:21:14] thinking like something bad's happening how could it be welcome back to red bar hi[4:21:21] flip me on[4:21:24] they said anything under 200 bpm is fine and you know what I'm gonna take that guy's word for it[4:21:31] although I feel very close to dying just kidding welcome back to red bar we've got this beautiful[4:21:38] light news theme song contest that we're in the middle of and you just heard the submissions[4:21:43] jewels did you work up a poll for that why don't we pop that in the chat right now and we've got[4:21:49] the poll here and we're gonna have everybody vote and then we're gonna pick our winner[4:21:54] and we should have had everybody vote during this shit[4:22:01] but we did it so jules is just finalizing the poll right now I believe and she's gonna paste that in[4:22:07] the chat sorry I took a bite of granola bar oh god that's why it took me so long to talk it's[4:22:13] gonna drive us wild there you shouldn't mix granola with uh but now that I think of it I[4:22:19] guess doing a show isn't resting so you'd probably normally have a higher hurry it could be higher[4:22:25] than this normally what the hell is happening I sent you the poll do you want to do the honor[4:22:30] oh that's the next yeah I can't post in the chat no you gotta post it no I was just gonna say test[4:22:36] it to make sure oh okay yeah send it over to me we're gonna do this poll and I want to get this[4:22:41] quick because we still got this sticker contest to do and I don't want to be here all night okay[4:22:46] so let's see I'm gonna vote for mine now no I don't want to do that I don't want anybody to[4:22:50] see any results okay yeah send it in the chat okay and then we will uh hopefully everybody[4:22:57] remembered their favorite yes okay did you want to quickly play one second of each one here is Igor[4:23:07] oop kill the spotify for me and then uh[4:23:13] are they voting we're voting yes okay here's Igor[4:23:24] some instrumental here is Aaron Herbert[4:23:32] there is Axel Gutierrez[4:23:37] I choose here is jakota loyalist[4:23:45] and dan cups[4:23:49] okay and then this guy is not let's see this is Dom or Alex[4:23:54] here is Aaron Cacabasi[4:24:08] okay Kevin Clark[4:24:15] all right we've got Luke Sanders[4:24:17] rise late news[4:24:23] okay we've got uh who's this guy luke sanders then we have matt m-a-t[4:24:36] okay then we've got mitch of course[4:24:41] remember this[4:24:41] we've got Saturday night oh[4:24:50] we've got Seth Johnson[4:24:56] we've got Troy[4:25:03] and Wesley[4:25:12] we'll check back on that poll what do you think two more minutes or so[4:25:16] should we end like are we gonna let people who listen to the show later vote or are we gonna[4:25:21] decide the winner today oh boy i didn't think of that like should we leave the poll open until[4:25:26] the next show can you do that can people they could only vote once and it's good[4:25:32] apparently okay once per ip address okay how about this we can't uh have it open to everybody[4:25:39] i guess that's gonna be too much how about just the bring back group we leave it on the bring[4:25:43] back group for a week yeah until next show and then we pick the winner yeah yeah i think so[4:25:50] everybody could vote live today yeah yeah okay we'll do that because right now only the people[4:25:55] hearing this live can vote exactly hang on tight winners i mean uh the guys who answered a winner[4:26:03] will be chosen next week that's great okay let's do this let's uh take a look at some of these[4:26:10] stickers here we go kill that up i'm gonna close all these hundreds of windows thank you[4:26:16] contests enter you guys were wonderful let's see if i can close these up right away perfect and now[4:26:31] the red bar is watching sticker contest[4:26:36] so[4:26:47] everybody's mad about our choice and wants us to say the winner now[4:26:51] by the way so now i'm second guessing uh let me think about it how about that are they mad about[4:26:56] that at least leave it open till the end of the show let me think about it because i never think[4:27:00] about anything and then we start doing all this stuff great the wrong way okay uh this is the[4:27:04] red bars watching sticker contest now i believe um there was like 250 entries for this and so[4:27:13] we picked what we thought were like the top 25 yeah we got 21 21 so that's what we did we got[4:27:19] tons of entries for this contest and uh hundreds and hundreds so many really bad ones that almost[4:27:27] you know they really upset me um but we we've got it down to 21 now and we're going to show[4:27:34] you those and the poll is already set up and ready to go and the poll is going to have everybody's[4:27:39] design on it correct jules yes so don't give them the poll yet we'll show them here and then you[4:27:44] guys will have the poll you'll be able to see them all right yes when they vote all right let's take[4:27:49] a look here we go and again i got 21 of these you know use your eyes here i'm not going to describe[4:28:03] each one here is anthony la quarta right anthony la quartra i hope that's right okay there it is[4:28:15] here is our written look at these names i mean they're gonna kill me here with these names[4:28:22] a-r-e-a-d-n-n-a there's that one here's bk thank you bk you know what maybe i have to zoom[4:28:34] into some of these going to i here's my fear jules i don't want this to take more than[4:28:40] 10 minutes well they can see all of them on the pole so they just need a quick look yeah well[4:28:43] this is why it's driving me nuts there's really no fun way to do this here i'll zoom in here[4:28:48] red bar is watching you know what i'm so sick of these damn designs no i'm kidding here here you[4:28:54] go i gotta guess i gotta zoom in on some of these this is bk so here's me looking through a window[4:29:01] and remember you're gonna have a copy of each of these in the poll so we're just gonna quickly[4:29:07] show you these these this is chris thank you chris red bar is watching you see that guys[4:29:13] oh connor very nice connor very beautiful we can have that up a little bit connor we've got damian[4:29:23] gomez oh this is one of my favorite swings in the background here's damian gomez very nice[4:29:32] daniel fritz so we've seen him in the bringback group daniel fritz[4:29:36] melton knows him here's hunter ross red bar's watching very nice[4:29:45] very nice okay what was so funny about that here's idol hands the song is making me love[4:29:51] oh yeah wait till you hear this song here listen[4:29:54] so long anybody anybody seen this show shrinking on apple tv plus[4:30:09] this song kills us and the show kills us dead even more it's with harrison ford[4:30:17] and who's that guy jason siegel yes oh it's like this[4:30:24] it's uh yeah exactly how that song every episode in a day okay so that was idol hand here's jesse[4:30:32] perry jesse perry look at this wow very detailed here jesse perry okay um here is jorge naharno[4:30:46] there's me you see that very nice a little bit louder i like this song all right here is[4:30:53] kenneth harney[4:30:58] very nice you get an imprint of that everybody here is presmear parekh[4:31:08] you see that there crescent near pure this is what i mean you can't even[4:31:13] oh look at this one this is lou redacted gray lou redacted very nice it's me and my boxers there[4:31:26] okay here's mark manor one mark manor one very nice see that very cool let[4:31:36] me play my favorite song sure here's miles mcgrady[4:31:40] there i am and you can see i love this very nice so much so it's me with a uh[4:31:49] microscope and of course there's a stand-up comedian that i'm studying there very nice[4:31:55] that is miles mcgrady here is nicole axtell nicole axtell look at that it's a nice picture of me[4:32:07] nicole oh this one is this one's gonna is really near and dear to my heart i looked[4:32:13] this is yeah many many times this one's interesting this is paul davis let's take a look[4:32:19] here's the full you've got me behind the desk with a knife here look at that you've got[4:32:29] who's this tits out pussy out a ghost of you as a female nude really weird shadow[4:32:38] i'm standing in front of a mirror or wait are you the shadow person and the real person[4:32:44] oh oh that's what it is so there's a person naked looking into their mirror and they see[4:32:52] their own reflection but they also see me oh i get it for the first time i'm finally getting this[4:32:57] then you see me and then it says red bar is watching but that's chilling i love i i think[4:33:04] i'm getting this one framed wow yeah we're definitely going to do something with this[4:33:08] regardless this is very chilling i mean look at this picture of me that's one of the best pictures[4:33:12] i have of me i mean i want that's great okay let's go to thomas m there you go thomas[4:33:23] there you go thomas very cute uh this is thompson x thompson x there we go[4:33:35] you get that in there and finally tony marcado with another great drawing you thought you looked[4:33:44] pretty cool pretty cool there i look pretty damn cool i even got matches just like dream neck[4:33:51] yeah that looks great thank you so much after my iron neck[4:33:55] for sure well there it is so you guys have seen the beautiful uh contest entries for the red bars[4:34:03] watching sticker contest now jules you're gonna send out this link to everybody here[4:34:07] coming up in the chat the link and then we gotta determine do we announce today[4:34:12] the winners or do we give it a week on the bpg i don't know why they want the winner so bad today[4:34:21] um let me know if i'm missing something here but yes throw those up[4:34:26] we'll throw up the pole and you'll vote smoke some weed there you go have some with me[4:34:40] it's the gax[4:34:43] pretty cool[4:34:45] is that out there though cap some shimmy everybody take a couple popper roads[4:34:58] lots more show to do here lord willing right i heard melton use that phrase he said lord[4:35:05] willing and the creek don't rise wow the other day i mean come on i heard melton say that[4:35:11] how is uh does anyone have any updates on the melton steel toe beef and what happened what[4:35:17] might have happened with that i haven't been keeping up seems like it kind of petered out[4:35:22] or how's megamind i don't know how have they been doing curious let us know if you could give us a[4:35:28] quick update there okay it's out there the pole's out there okay we'll deal with that later now[4:35:37] let's keep going you guys know lean beef patty do you guys know who lean beef patty is a lot[4:35:44] of this show now current red bar is just me asking if you guys know of some obscure character from[4:35:51] youtube or something lean beef patty that's it do you know her have you heard about her a little[4:35:57] more than you've ever thought you needed to hear about her is it weird that you're hearing about[4:36:05] her from me i find this shocks people when i mention some obscure person that they thought[4:36:11] only they knew you know this happens a lot on this show we have that wilderness guy remember[4:36:17] that kooky wilderness guy who killed his wife i think what was his name steve wallace steve[4:36:22] wallace when i brought up steve wallace the whole place lit up they couldn't believe it and they[4:36:26] have this feeling like i just can't believe mike knows him so here's one for this week can you[4:36:31] believe i know who lean beef patty is we're not looking for an answer but can you believe it[4:36:38] she's out there she's in the you know sometimes i just got to bring you guys into what's going[4:36:43] on in this world and right now there's a character called lean beef patty and the algorithm that's[4:36:49] the best way i could describe it the algorithm of all of our internet wants you to know about her[4:36:55] you know because they've been pushing her on me she looks like a nice show i think i put that[4:37:01] video in there of danny brown trying to explain to jpeg that would be great do we actually have[4:37:05] that oh my god you guys know danny brown he's from your mom's house network danny brown was[4:37:14] in the coolest song that i've ever heard i'll never forget this song he went ramble ramble on[4:37:25] with babylon something like that i think we listened to it last babylon yeah[4:37:31] i just want to be free he's kind of a knight you know he's got this new album out with jpeg[4:37:37] mafia let's hear it and don't worry listen the reason you got to hear these these names okay[4:37:42] guys let's pretend you don't know who any of these people are why is mike showing me don't[4:37:48] worry about that just worry about knowing what i know that's really the best way i could put it[4:37:54] um danny brown does a talk show now he just came up with this incredible new album with jpeg[4:38:00] mafia this is an album that to me is like a prank album that you would give like if your parents[4:38:09] like hated hip-hop and thought hip-hop was all bull this is the album to give to your parents[4:38:14] to go you're gonna love this just give me your honest opinion of what you think and then you[4:38:19] make them listen to that danny brown jpeg mafia album like imagine that like a racist[4:38:25] non-hip-hop fan listening to that that's my dream well anyway he has a song on the album[4:38:32] danny brown has a song on the album called lean beef patty wait the one that i actually put in is[4:38:38] hasan showing lean beef patty do you want just them or do you want i just didn't know which one[4:38:44] you wanted more because i can find both i didn't want to show any of this honestly i just wanted to[4:38:49] say the words lean beef patty and see if it lit anybody up because it's so here let me find it[4:38:55] like there's really nothing to show anybody now that i'm watching this it's like that's not going[4:38:59] to make any sense to anybody it's almost better to just show a picture of lean beef patty and[4:39:05] well she's in the video yeah but that's not a real showing of her that's her sitting in a chair i[4:39:11] mean it really it didn't have to go further than we've been talking about lean beef patty for weeks[4:39:16] and when we saw this song pop up we were shocked that's all yeah so danny brown made a song about[4:39:21] her and i get i don't know i mean i really have no point here except to say the three fucking words[4:39:28] lean beef patty um i have a prediction you will hear about her again very soon from somewhere else[4:39:40] okay all right let's see this one bite place and they want dave are you doing the dave okay yeah[4:39:46] yeah that was very funny leaky cop oh yeah i had a lot of complaints this week we should do[4:39:52] something else with those yeah the leaky cup i had this leaky coffee cup that ruined my shirt[4:39:58] i really started getting mad about that man we went to this little coffee shop and they gave us[4:40:05] a paper cup and i love the coffee i'll tell you this i get what's called the red eye it's a cup[4:40:11] of coffee with a shot of espresso in it i'm not that type of guy i don't know why i got this you[4:40:18] know why i got this i thought the espresso espresso would freshen up the stale sitting[4:40:26] drip coffee that's what my hope was because you go into these joints down[4:40:30] and uh the coffee shop you know you always give them a try everybody's coffee is a bit too[4:40:37] tiny what would you call the taste of the current day coffee it's very bright[4:40:43] bitter and bright right and like citrusy almost right that's what all these assholes would do[4:40:50] so uh but i found this place decibel coffee and they make the red eye coffee where okay it's just[4:40:58] a cup of coffee and they pour espresso in it and they handed us a cup that was leaking[4:41:04] uh while we were walking around the cup was leaking all over and it was a mysterious leak[4:41:09] where i couldn't find out where it was coming from so i was becoming very aggravated and then[4:41:14] i noticed that i had coffee dripping all down my shirt so i decided this is not my fault this[4:41:22] mysterious leak like the guy handed me the cup of coffee paper cup lid i'm drinking out of it[4:41:28] that should be the the last i have to think about that situation then i look into my bag of new socks[4:41:36] i've been buying i'll tell you this i've been buying i used to wear no-shows for years i've[4:41:43] been buying socks they come up about this high on the ankle and with a logo and i wear them at the[4:41:49] full length of their height it's not very high it's about this high all of a sudden i like how[4:41:55] that looks when two years ago i thought that was a foolish look so i'm buying all new socks now if[4:42:01] you see any cute socks think of me and send me a link maybe i'll pick those up it's a whole new[4:42:08] world actually of cool things to buy so i get the coffee and it's dripping all over my shirt and then[4:42:17] jewel says yeah the last time i got coffee here it was dripping all over my shirt and i said this[4:42:23] won't stand okay i'm gonna go get another cup from the guy so i bring my leaky coffee over i go yeah[4:42:28] can i get another cup this one's leaking and you know what this fucking mixed that's two sounds[4:42:35] to me but he was mixed race you know what he says to me yeah they're probably all gonna leak[4:42:41] oh this was too too far i was very very upset at the time and i said they're all gonna leak[4:42:49] and then i got into the whole conversation about how they needed to get a new cup[4:42:53] you need to get and he kept making excuses oh we can't you know this supplier and i go you can you[4:42:59] can you can i believe and they kept making excuses for themselves is why they couldn't replace the[4:43:06] cup i couldn't believe it it finally i had to end this exchange with you've ruined a shirt you know[4:43:12] i'm screaming at him you've ruined my shirt and i'm uh really upset and then uh i believe there[4:43:19] was even some more leaking on the uh on the trip so i just wanted to um harass this place a bit[4:43:26] very quickly a nice instagram scare and we're going to do a contest it's going to be 50 bucks[4:43:34] in and out this is decibel coffee[4:43:38] hold on we gotta i gotta control it with somebody throw on the break thing right now[4:43:42] throw on the break thing and give me some uh here we go hold on i'll we'll be right back[4:43:47] these days i've been barely holding on wait wait that's not the name every dust[4:44:03] till dawn that's why she was shaking her head morning the past the hours moving slowly[4:44:12] and vanishing hold on but i'm trying in my way to conceive[4:44:19] and to tell you just what i need help me carry this weight that's dragging me down pull me out[4:44:29] of the drink before i start to drown let the wreckage all sink so when the fishes are frightening[4:44:37] i want to hear myself okay okay so this is embarrassing we are put me on this is[4:44:49] embarrassing we hope nobody bothered that company that's actually a coffee place we really like[4:44:56] okay uh decibel so she was going like this and i'm going what what and i was so confused[4:45:03] it's black rock coffee please do not bother[4:45:08] decibel because that's actually our favorite coffee place and now she's mad that we've[4:45:13] ruined the relationship with them completely well it's a good thing because i was gonna call him[4:45:25] and start with all the mixed race stuff okay black rock is that what you said black rock yes[4:45:34] black rock coffee please harass them say there was a guy with a beard in there last week do[4:45:42] you remember him he came to you with the leaky thing and then come up with something very[4:45:46] creative what did i say 50 bucks to the person who could get this guy scared for me i'll never[4:45:55] forget you don't say anything about the mixed race yes here you go the song is perfect[4:46:04] do not bother decibel see now they're gonna bother decibel because[4:46:10] because they know okay that i don't want it bothered so well and there's very few coffee[4:46:19] places we could go to so that would be and believe me they know me the waitress i could[4:46:25] tell the waitresses are starting to do this thing you could tell the waitresses because there's very[4:46:31] few restaurants in town and the waitresses you could tell are sitting in there going[4:46:34] have you ever seen that it's a guy with a beard he has like a blonde what you have dude isn't he[4:46:41] and then they start relating about how and we're losing places we might have to move i mean we're[4:46:48] losing places because i've opened up now i've really started i've been walked on long enough[4:46:55] there's this whole thing now where the last four times we've gone out to eat it's been a three-hour[4:47:02] production of nonsense land with the waiters i mean they'll bring out like a starter after an[4:47:09] hour and then they'll make you wait two hours for the food i don't want food anymore you know i have[4:47:14] like this thing where i want to be out of a restaurant within an hour and they're not doing[4:47:19] that so i felt walked on i felt like i had had enough and i've been taking it out i've been fully[4:47:26] opening up to the waitresses and to the management and just telling them that this is outright not[4:47:32] right anymore it's been extremely embarrassing for her we came up with a concept with this what[4:47:39] was this concept where it's very fun to yell at the guy as me if you're mad about something it[4:47:46] can be cathartic too so it feels good to me and if so yell at the guy i'm probably only when i'm[4:47:53] drunk but sometimes i'm mad and i'll say something but to be the guy standing next to the guy saying[4:48:01] something what did we call that we came up with a beautiful bystander the what we have a great[4:48:07] concept for this person that has to sit while someone else is complaining so i don't know if[4:48:13] you've ever seen it have you ever been with a guy who's complaining to the waiter you're going to be[4:48:17] like this look you're not going to chime in and do a double team on the waiter like one person is[4:48:23] going to be the this is too awkward for me guy and that's jewels every time because are you supposed[4:48:31] to like join in and start yelling join in because then that's too jewish that's crazy two people[4:48:37] attacking a waitress to me is too far but am i supposed to laugh am i supposed to stay silent[4:48:43] and look at the floor i think watery eyes watery eyes silent staring down at your hands while[4:48:50] they're crossed on the table i think that's the best thing to do be it shame in shame that's the[4:48:57] best thing to do for you it doesn't back me up though for you to be in shame mode going please[4:49:02] please please please please i usually just laugh you do i never notice you i never look towards you[4:49:10] i look right at the waiter because that's all i know to do yeah maybe i'll start yelling too next[4:49:16] time well i could never again we ordered uh this meal where they have this great little taco at[4:49:22] this place this great little taco and i love it i get it alongside my food but obviously i want[4:49:29] that little taco out as an app you understand this woman brings out the taco after the entree so[4:49:40] i said no no no i'm not eating a taco for dessert sorry you gotta cancel that and you know what she[4:49:46] did she goes i'm so sorry i cancelled it but it's on the house and you could still have it i go nope[4:49:52] take it back that is a shameful shameful taco no no no i refuse and i almost did it exactly like[4:50:00] that it's becoming to the point where again yeah we're losing places a move might be in the works i[4:50:07] mean really that is why you can't move to these smaller towns they have no idea of how any of this[4:50:14] stuff is supposed to be ran they're just guessing they're playing around and very quickly you'll[4:50:20] your 13 restaurants that you depend on because we can't cook her me we don't know how to work[4:50:27] the microwave just kidding but yeah when you have 13 restaurants you're losing them day by day uh[4:50:34] we're looking to move maybe to a new city should we i think we should what city should we do[4:50:38] city i don't think so i think i need a bigger city i think this small city life was an experiment[4:50:45] we need a little bit bigger a little bit nicer with some concern about what's happening you know[4:50:51] because i was thinking about this the other day we were like oh i love this town you can[4:50:56] drive across it in 15 minutes and we don't need a big city we love this quad but that was just[4:51:01] because you were so sick of the big city itself yes you're so sick of the big city so you just[4:51:08] like it here but then when you run out of restaurants you're sick of here what would[4:51:13] tim dillon do if he lived here i mean he'd be out of here in seconds right[4:51:19] also i just wanted to say these contests were a horrible idea and everyone in the[4:51:22] chat is like fighting and we should never do this again yeah well that's what it's going[4:51:26] to be taken away um and nobody should care this is what you should be fighting about i'm so sorry[4:51:32] if your entry didn't get picked as one of the ones that everyone's voting on but there was[4:51:37] like 250 and it was really hard you want me to show you 250 of the worst drawings you've ever[4:51:42] seen of my sunglasses because i could do that there's a lot of good ones too yeah it was just[4:51:49] trying to pick like an eclectic mix of styles so that people could vote i don't know all you need[4:51:56] to know is if it didn't show up on these 21 it was so horrible that's not true because there's[4:52:03] people like getting mad that they didn't get picked they're getting mad that they didn't get[4:52:06] picked they're getting mad that i didn't know that's what the i thought the fight was about[4:52:11] how gay this is and how much of a waste of your day this has been they're fighting that they[4:52:18] didn't get picked i need names i want names he's been through enough he's been through enough[4:52:23] there's a guy who's been through enough there's somebody who's been through enough i know nothing[4:52:29] about this who's been through enough oh you don't want to say his name okay well i can't believe[4:52:37] that anybody would fight over this contest what did you think you were going to win with some non[4:52:42] the non these people were emailing i couldn't believe they thought this was going to get them[4:52:46] a thousand dollars really broke my heart i figured most of them were jokes sent in by[4:52:53] trolls to annoy my email box but now i'm seeing there's people who are mad that they weren't[4:53:00] picked and is it multiple people i'm afraid to even look i don't know i just scrolled through[4:53:04] the chat quickly yeah well that's very shameful that's a shameful way to be scroll through the[4:53:11] chat to see what people are talking about and everyone was fighting about the contest and i was[4:53:15] like oh we should never have done this these contests they do nothing for our show they don't[4:53:22] help they don't most people these shows are doing contest jewels because they need something you do[4:53:30] it to push some kind of agenda you know i'm not calling because he's always here in the chat he's[4:53:36] a sweet guy oh okay usually maybe he got his feelings hurt i'm not gonna and he's been fighting[4:53:42] though he didn't fight against any of the guys that i prefer in that chat did he any of my[4:53:47] favorites he didn't go after any of my favorites did he he didn't say anything that he can't take[4:53:53] back did he i will pay you a thousand dollars to cancel the contest he said that because he doesn't[4:53:59] know someone else okay well i don't want any exchange of money happening in the chat[4:54:05] and i don't want anybody paying me and um you know what let's give the thousand to everyone who[4:54:13] entered all 250 people you've all won it's a joke all right let's drink to that contest i love the[4:54:21] contest that there's you know what these contests and contests can be held offline on the internet[4:54:27] not on air they don't really work on the air i mean i the news theme song submission did because[4:54:33] it's musical but as far as looking at a bunch of kids drawing sorry i don't want everybody got[4:54:39] really on edge from the death cab song playing over and over that song really uh well i think[4:54:44] because i told everybody to drink this pre-work they were probably drinking along like they do[4:54:49] the booze and everybody was going through a heart rate rise at the same time and when i told the[4:54:54] listeners about my heart rate i think that raised the rates of many listeners because they feel so[4:54:59] connected to me and i raised thousands of people's heart rates at once and nobody knew it would be[4:55:06] like spiking the acid at the party if you didn't know you were on acid at a full party you might[4:55:11] start like eating people you don't know what's going on you might think you're in a dream[4:55:16] so i think that's what happened i collectively rose the heart rates people went a little fucking[4:55:20] batshit insane i'm hearing and i can't wait to somebody rats on those people and gives me the[4:55:28] names because i will take them through hell just kidding i'm sorry that you're fighting over the[4:55:35] contest i hated the contest the second it came out of my mouth i was cursing myself about that[4:55:40] contest it gave me nothing but bore this contest opening up one email after another you know what[4:55:47] it's like imagine it's christmas and you walk downstairs and there are 40 wrapped gifts and you[4:55:54] go fuck this is amazing you open one gift a pen cap what the fuck you open the next gift a broken[4:56:00] paper clip uh the next gift that's just a rubber band it's all office supplies that you don't need[4:56:06] and you're going this sucks i was so excited that's what it was like opening my email red[4:56:12] bars watching contests i go jules i see the paper clip logo here this is going to be[4:56:17] and it would be like just clip art of sunglasses that's it[4:56:24] over and over and over and i was going jules there's not one person here who deserves a time[4:56:30] of my money and so yes we're never doing this again and then i hear the chat's all fighting[4:56:36] over this this is uh it's killing i am never doing this again you know how much it hurts[4:56:42] me to look at kids drawings here i don't like kids i figure these are all from little kids[4:56:49] i hope these are all from very little kids eight and up no eight to twelve[4:56:56] but i hope nobody's actually fighting this isn't a place where you fight you know what[4:57:01] a lot of these podcasts they fight with each other all day have you seen this these other podcasts[4:57:05] the listeners are fighting the hosts are always fighting with the listeners not me[4:57:10] i get along i do genuinely like a lot of them okay what are you talking about i wasn't saying[4:57:17] you don't is miles mcgrady i don't even remember the names i'm gonna pick a random name i'm gonna[4:57:23] give them the money and i'm gonna forget this ever happened and then i'm gonna work my ass[4:57:27] off to get that money back okay that's my promise to myself cheers to everybody entered the contest[4:57:34] we're just kidding and if i have to say that to you you're not grown up enough to watch[4:57:39] redback cheers everybody here we go oh this guy of course paul davis that one okay i think i[4:57:50] might give him a separate i don't want to hear another word about this crap i'm just kidding[4:57:56] i just think it's funny to just uh you know okay what are you gonna do worship these guys[4:58:02] okay that that even is not what i mean that's not my final word i have no way to wrap this up[4:58:08] it's just gonna get stupider and stupider what i was gonna say though is um i had another thing[4:58:15] i was telling you this guy emailed me and i like to think everybody who says something to me[4:58:20] represents at least 50 people okay and that's why i think it's worthy even if one person says[4:58:27] something to you i bet you others are confused too i got a guy emailed me saying dude you're[4:58:34] so wrong about melton i can't believe you're siding with him after everything i gotta show[4:58:40] you this email this to me is like turning into my favorite type of stuff but don't try to trick me[4:58:47] by sending these here it is you're gonna love this red bar you're off base this time[4:58:59] dude red bar big fan brother but your take on melton in steel toe is off base i'm not saying[4:59:07] steel toe is like the best show ever however you're completely abandoning everything and[4:59:12] siding with melton come on man you can't do that i mean you could[4:59:17] but in this instance steel toe is still better than mountain wake up man[4:59:25] so fuck man you see i actually that's g it kills me because i wonder how many[4:59:35] other people are thinking that is it just a whole show filled with people like that[4:59:38] they must be in agonizing pain watching this show that guy reminded me of like the type of[4:59:46] guy who would get mad that he didn't get picked to win the contest imagine thinking you're gonna[4:59:52] win a contest isn't that the nuttiest thing you've ever thought of i just feel so bad because it's so[4:59:57] nice of you guys to even be here and it kills me to make fun of you who are we making fun of[5:00:02] so that's why when he's mad i feel i feel mad with him who the listener yeah i'm like[5:00:09] oh yeah of course because this guy this precious guy drew this art so this retard[5:00:15] sits down and he's drawn a logo oh i hope i win and then we're like you didn't even make[5:00:21] it to the top 21 and then he's yelling and we're making this big thing about him i mean[5:00:25] that breaks my heart well it's really if jeffree star were here you know he would be you know what[5:00:35] he would say if jeffree star was here he would go this is so stupid this is really stupid and i[5:00:45] agree with jeffree star in that one okay get a grip i got a lot of good no see this is why you[5:00:51] can't read emails because then people try to fake it and it's very hard to tell because the real[5:00:58] ones that i've been getting over the years they sound like fakes to begin with i mean they're[5:01:03] that crazy they sound like fakes to begin with so i have to assume every email i get is fake[5:01:12] it's either fake or you're retard you don't want to be retard like hela klein we caught hela klein[5:01:17] guess who she reminds us of let's talk about hela klein send me uh let's put her in up next[5:01:23] all hela klein stuff up next because we found out who hela klein is you're not going to believe this[5:01:30] there is a show called arrested development wouldn't it be cool like let's run a contest[5:01:37] this one episode that really got yeah she's gonna gather all this stuff there's a show arrested[5:01:42] development i don't know if i have the patience for that show i get it it's very funny right it[5:01:49] and it is it's one of those shows like uh you don't want the people when i say arrested[5:01:56] development you don't want those people who were like die hard fans of the show to be like oh my[5:02:01] god he doesn't get arrested development oh my god we're gonna tell him it is actually good yeah[5:02:07] i understand but still there's something about me i gotta go with my gut arrested development[5:02:14] give it a break that's how i feel about it you know it's a little annoying to me okay[5:02:21] it's a little stupid and gay to me to be i got it though it's very funny[5:02:27] so there's a time where the guy from what's that stupid show where he's in the middle of this[5:02:36] okay we're michigan what's this guy jason jason bateman bateman jason bateman who i just love[5:02:45] i just love okay i could watch jason bateman on a loop um i love him and jason bateman's character[5:02:54] in arrested development dates somebody on the show he's always dating and he dates somebody[5:03:00] on the show and we we figured this out this is how you can explain it show the h3 episode that[5:03:07] i just sent you which is what we were next up or uh no just text okay check this out guys[5:03:12] and hear us out okay is everybody getting along since the big fight yes now they want a sticker[5:03:19] contest and a fight every episode okay you got it now is this the most recent episode or i mean[5:03:26] this is the one that we were watching when i thought of this is this time code anything that[5:03:30] i've clicked on click anywhere click anywhere okay so this is a h3 i this excites me this is[5:03:37] hela klein looking like a straight up tranny look at hela klein she's really jumped the shark with[5:03:45] this well learn how to talk and i really do find her to be mentally ill and then here's ethan of[5:03:56] course so let's just play a bit of this this is good intel for me i'm learning a lot because now[5:04:00] so is this thing this thing is like nothing gets past it it's really like protective it's like a[5:04:09] linebacker baby yeah i mean i don't think it would become successful if something did[5:04:14] pass and do you feel the how full does the cup get so they say that per cycle it's only like[5:04:25] they're doing this bit where the ethan is trying to guess what women's products are[5:04:29] oh yeah but here's hela klein and you see how dressed up she is[5:04:33] and you sent me this episode for a reason because of her outfit right so here's hela klein she's[5:04:38] really done up and she's wearing maybe we could get a better shot of her outfit you know at the[5:04:42] beginning or something have you guys seen how she's been dressing she's really taken some risks[5:04:48] there with her wardrobe and she's really trying to be a really fancy here let's see do i do like[5:04:54] this i would avoid the nip here i think i might look at it talks ability to to me that's a[5:05:01] straight up trance you know ethan's been on this kick he thinks like she's this like hot babe now[5:05:08] he thinks this is like one of those movies where the nerd takes off the glasses and like the whole[5:05:13] school is jealous that that was the nerd they passed on you know he thinks remember hela showed[5:05:21] this bra picture did we cover that where she was wearing her bra maybe that's important to show[5:05:27] i'll show you this picture of hela klein and her bra but i can't get on their instagram and locked[5:05:31] out i will send a screenshot so hela klein started posting bra pics and ethan has been uh[5:05:40] really like i mean he thinks he's being like george jenko you know how george jenko is like[5:05:47] hey brendan and he's like what and he's showing him his phone and the guy's like what and he's[5:05:53] like that's my girlfriend yep pretty fucking hot huh he really does that by the way ethan started[5:06:00] doing that with hela hela took this bra photo which i'm going to show you in seconds here as[5:06:05] soon as it pops up and ethan has been like going around town bragging about it and he really thinks[5:06:11] that like everyone's super jealous with this tik-tok alpha male guy yeah it's like this is[5:06:19] my wife what do you think is she a whore is she a little slut we're like okay yeah that was a great[5:06:26] debate you should really see that okay hold on let me uh there she is hela klein this is what[5:06:29] you posted baboom you know what's so funny about this hela glow up and the reason that i love this[5:06:36] is because we always joked yeah wished and hoped but it was just a joke we always joke like hela's[5:06:45] a model huh imagine if hela and we used to sit around going imagine if he would put on a bunch[5:06:49] of makeup and like a sexy outfit remember she was just a dog she looks like a high-end model[5:06:57] yeah but we joked about this happening i mean that would be like right now if you're thinking[5:07:01] about like uh patrick melton and we're like imagine if patrick melton was like in shape and[5:07:06] like a beautiful mom it was just a complete joke but now here we are and ethan's really been[5:07:14] bragging about this lady her page this is my theory i can't go to her page oh yeah never mind[5:07:19] but you've all seen the pics of hela these are the tits when she posts pictures on her instagram[5:07:24] you're like hela is actually killing is she like kind of slaying right now and you can you're like[5:07:31] checking on her outfits and you're like not me but then when she sits beside ethan on the show[5:07:37] yeah then that's what makes her look like a drag queen because ethan is such a slob yes that it[5:07:44] could only be a drag queen so when you see this image here this slob nerd jew and then you see[5:07:51] her you wouldn't think this is a glamorous tasteful woman you would go that must be some[5:07:57] freak tranny so when i see a clip like this from their show i go oh it's this it must be a retard[5:08:04] in a tranny this is awesome look at this that's good fit that's the ability to auto scan wouldn't[5:08:09] you assume like what if you had five seconds to figure out what you were watching you would go[5:08:14] looks like a transgendered woman in some retard some joke so yeah that is a good call that yes[5:08:22] when seated next to ethan like this of course she does come off even more retarded looking[5:08:32] which made me really go back to the number one question that's been on everybody's mind since[5:08:37] we've met hela klein and that question is is she retarded really does she have down syndrome[5:08:46] and i remember you know that's not my original joke i remember there was some video criticizing[5:08:52] him years ago or if somebody said it and they go honest question is the bitch retarded and i love[5:08:58] that but we found out yes the answer is yes she is retarded and we have proof coming from the show[5:09:07] what arrested development and we're going to show you that proof right now there was an episode[5:09:14] here's a couple clips that tell the tale couple clips that tell the tale where should i start[5:09:17] this first one here that you just sent okay um so jason bateman starts dating this chick[5:09:25] who's a little weird what time code should i go to 50 seconds that should be 50 seconds great[5:09:29] okay let's watch this and you'll see we found out what's real that hela is retarded and this is proof[5:09:35] well at the kennel right sorry you lobbed that one right over the plate michael[5:09:42] home run and michael hurried to the british section of orange county for his date[5:09:49] he's going on a date that reda had chosen reda okay he's going on a date with reda[5:09:54] and does anybody remember this episode here's reda played by charlize that round[5:10:00] so she's a beautiful woman right it's charlize tharren look at her outfit this is reda he's[5:10:07] going on a date with reda she looks pretty fashionable right she kind of dresses[5:10:13] like hela and it's charlie's there in hot chick kooky outfit he's going on a date let's watch[5:10:20] one american-themed restaurant oh hello i'm sorry i'm late uh no baldy and having such[5:10:27] fun on the spaceship strike one huh shall we go ahead and sit down[5:10:30] hey dude i'll get you a couple of 64 ounce colas to wash down this[5:10:40] basket of donuts and get your nachos okay he's on a date with her they're eating some barbecue[5:10:47] it looks like or something similar you can go to the next clip now okay let's go to this next[5:10:51] clip that we have remember this is proof that hela klein is retarded and we learned this from[5:10:55] watching um arrested development the show michael told his parents he'd be getting married[5:11:04] tomorrow god help her if she tries to rename bluth then i'll sink it first i swear i'll sink[5:11:08] the whole damn thing they're going through with it tomorrow but that's when george and lucille[5:11:15] had a surprise visitor all right where the hell is reda i'm her uncle let the handouts begin so[5:11:21] the guy jason uh bateman is dating her name is reda and reda's uncle busts into the house of[5:11:26] the family he goes where's reda okay gonna be any handouts and she is not gonna marry your son[5:11:32] you're against this marriage too well of course i am reda's not capable of making a decision like[5:11:37] that you are not going to get reda's millions just because she's mentally challenged what[5:11:44] the guy or the girl jason bateman was dating turns out she's mentally challenged she's retarded[5:11:55] he didn't know because she was from uh she was british and wore all these kooky clothes so what[5:12:02] she had an accent and her clothes were all crazy but he thought and she has millions just like[5:12:10] heila listen to this this will explain it a little bit you are not going to get reda's[5:12:14] millions just because she's mentally challenged millions millions mentally now they want the[5:12:19] millions it's not polite she owns all of wee britain and also to wee britain in cleveland[5:12:26] of course we're probably going to lose all that if a ridiculous idea for c britain got through[5:12:32] we are not after her money and i don't think michael even knows about her[5:12:37] condition yeah it's funny how americans don't pick up this is the bit that he's dating some[5:12:41] chick he didn't know she was retarded turns out she's retarded how funny huh how funny fox[5:12:47] retard right huh i agree so with this logic of this show heila klein is here by retarded get it[5:13:00] she's reda the retard and that's what i want you calling her now hey reda the retard hey reda[5:13:07] we know that's not an accent that's a retardation your clothes you're not trying to be uh fans you[5:13:14] just don't know what to do because you're retarded you ever seen tommy nc 2010 he's got 20 ties on[5:13:19] and eight hats that's like healing out fuck i missed i won't put that guy right myself like a[5:13:24] dog oh my god you know who else i sorely missed they came back who's that alan j erickson alan j[5:13:34] erickson okay do you guys remember him he was very popular during the rise of trump[5:13:39] he's an online character that we met through gavin mckinness's proud boys i don't know if[5:13:45] alan j erickson ever took the plunge and became a proud but he sure was on our radar do you guys[5:13:51] remember alan j erickson i hope you do because he's back we haven't seen him do you remember[5:14:01] during our election coverage they were at the trump election party and when trump won[5:14:08] alan j erickson poured a beer over his own head remember but nobody saw so there was this wide[5:14:14] shot of gavin mckinness's proud boys trump party and trump wins and alan j erickson goes to toast[5:14:22] somebody with a beer and the guy like turns around and then alan pours the beer on his head but[5:14:27] literally nobody in the room saw him do it so it wasn't really epic and now he's just got to sit[5:14:34] there covered in beer and they're like why are you wet man you didn't see i poured a beer over[5:14:38] i would trip and i'm i missed that no one saw it so it was a waste it was a fail he's back uh let's[5:14:47] just hear from him very quickly did all those emails in the field or those interviews in the[5:14:52] field with that like guy who claimed to invent email yeah it's uh it's kind of[5:14:59] weird stuff but let's just show you a little update from what's the best video to pick here[5:15:03] he's back oh i put it in next up oh okay great the one that we watched oh because when i'm[5:15:09] clicking that it just takes me to his youtube page then do the one about his book his book[5:15:14] one's uh uh the book of the year yeah okay here it is what's going on every just very quickly this[5:15:21] is just keeping you up to date with a guy that was on red bar three times eight years ago i missed[5:15:26] him here he is alan j erickson what's going on everybody it's the al diggity dog probably the[5:15:33] author of the year potentially the author of the century in this video we're going to talk about[5:15:38] my book the charter a millennial journey out of hip-hop hypnosis this is interesting by al dog[5:15:44] you know at first it was like yeah he's back ha ha ha and then he actually says something quite[5:15:49] interesting here everybody laughs this guy off as if he's a nonsense figure he's not real he's[5:15:55] just an idiot ha ha i think he's actually a genius and listen to the topic of his book tell me i'm[5:16:03] wrong um it's called the charter now alan here's what you need to know he used to be a huge hip-hop[5:16:11] fan in fact when we first met him he was writing books about lil wayne he's writing barter seven[5:16:18] we have a copy of this guy's book about lil wayne i think he burned it on the barter seven he's very[5:16:25] involved in hip-hop and then he got involved in the proud boy gavin mckinnis world and he's like[5:16:30] a trump guy he's one of these crazy guys but he writes books and listen to what this book is about[5:16:37] i think we're we're not giving him enough credit the author of the century in this video we're[5:16:44] going to talk about my book the charter a millennial journey out of hip-hop hypnosis[5:16:50] by al dog a millennial journey out of hip-hop hypnosis[5:16:55] you know this caught my attention let's hear some more autographed copies are available at[5:17:01] aldogbooks.com it's available on amazon the paperback ships april 5th you can get it he[5:17:07] used to like call in to our show too i feel like he didn't we used to have him on i swear did we[5:17:14] have him call in once i don't know i thought he called in a lot i thought that was how we know him[5:17:21] oh yeah and didn't he do like a news a news segment or something holy shit i know there's[5:17:27] a lot of that kind of stuff i don't remember well all right but listen about his book here this is[5:17:30] interesting right now now we're going to talk about the book my approach towards writing it[5:17:36] why i was inspired to write it there you go we're also going to talk about the fact that[5:17:40] yeah you know i'm selling this book online but if i don't get sales online i go out and i get them[5:17:46] oh i go to cafes and things of that nature oh and i cold approach people and i say hey have you read[5:17:52] any good books lately and i say hey you should check out this book this is what it's about blah[5:17:57] blah blah oh my god i wrote it and then i make the sale on the spot so the bottom line is you[5:18:03] guys who are watching this right now you should get the book get the autograph get the paperback[5:18:08] get the kindle whatever i don't care um but if i don't get sales here on youtube i go out and get[5:18:14] them because i feel that strongly about this book and i enjoy that you know sort of gorilla approach[5:18:20] towards uh cold approach sales it's kind of fun sometimes it's not that fun um okay anyways so the[5:18:29] book the charter here you go this one you gotta hear hypnosis clearly that is somewhat humorous[5:18:34] and somewhat ridiculous right um it's a published book not even self-published um i'm on trying day[5:18:40] publishing so the book i grew up looking up to m&m and 50 cent now i still have some reverence for[5:18:51] those guys but the bottom line is i grew up a huge hip-hop fan wow okay like i've been to concerts[5:18:58] you know what i mean i've been to Wiz Khalifa concerts uh i've been to little wayne concerts[5:19:03] that's just a fact and um looking back it's all so so ridiculous the only thing you could compare it[5:19:11] to listen would be maybe guys who grew up uh listening to hair metal in the 80s right they[5:19:18] look back and they're like oh my god you know what i mean for men of my age who are now beginning to[5:19:24] snap out of hip-hop hypnosis and particularly uh the generation that is younger than mine who is[5:19:31] fully encapsulated by hip-hop hypnosis this book is actually really important because it takes a[5:19:38] humorous approach a satirical allegorical approach towards potentially the most pervasive[5:19:46] poison in our society and now i also want to make something really clear before we start talking i[5:19:51] think that's actually quite genius because i was noticing that i have fallen out of hip-hop[5:19:57] hypnosis as well these songs don't stand up they don't hold up do they these raps in fact i'm[5:20:08] thinking back rap is ridiculous even biggie you're a great biggie listen to what he's saying how is[5:20:20] this all we listened to it's actually sad and here's a guy telling you i he noticed[5:20:27] holy shit hip-hop is actually nonsense what have i done with the last 25 years of my life[5:20:35] how have i dedicated my life to this and look at his eyes he's on to something a lot of us[5:20:42] are probably gonna enter this stage if you haven't already i'm feeling like i want to work with alan[5:20:48] j erickson again i want to get him back no no no no no no no i have no patience for that but uh[5:20:57] i think he's onto something there i was watching this video as a goof to laugh at him but it turns[5:21:02] out you know that's pretty self-aware that's pretty uh it's pretty deep i'm an alan j fan[5:21:09] has anybody else noticed that they don't really like hip-hop that much anymore[5:21:14] naz holds up somebody says as cringe they say i only listen to jpeg mafian and danny brown[5:21:22] owen benjamin was plugging his book recently is that serious owen benjamin fuck we need a whole[5:21:29] we gotta get a bookshelf in here for alan's books and owen's books any owen has a book no[5:21:36] owen was promoting alan's book yeah yeah pretty cool okay that's it think about that concept[5:21:44] should we watch this video of kumiya's latest l i would love it yeah yeah yeah this is great[5:21:50] anthony cumia come on down as anna from red scare probably would call him anthony cumia[5:21:59] you know how there's like a lot of people that call him anthony cumia instead of cumia[5:22:04] well we believe anna from red scare if she's ever says his name would say anthony cumia[5:22:12] can you think that we think guaranteed she pronounced it that way we've never heard her[5:22:16] say anything like that cumia thrown out of the comedy cellar by his old bodyguard over bill burr[5:22:24] best news of the week anthony cumia was physically escorted out of the comedy[5:22:31] seller after trying to go there to hang out with everybody after the[5:22:35] patrice o'neill benefit that bill burr holds i think we'll let anthony tell the story right[5:22:42] or do we have it yeah clip from reddit yeah clip from reddit here it is um i'll skip ahead if i[5:22:50] have to this is uh bill burr has anthony cumia thrown out of the comedy cellar this is brand[5:22:56] new don't uh i know it's tough when you see anthony kumi is wearing the same exact shirt[5:23:02] and everything is exactly the same as episode one was 10 years ago let's see what he says[5:23:10] don't worry people that are uh watching and remember what i was doing yesterday after the[5:23:15] show going to see jimmy norton at the big you know uh before we go ahead i'll say this this[5:23:20] is a big part of cumia uh the cumia the history of cumia and the the um future of cumia on red[5:23:29] bar this is a milestone these are one of the milestones that we need you know i'm on a mission[5:23:34] still i take breaks from this mission i take pauses from this mission sometimes i work hard[5:23:41] on the mission but i'm in no rush but i say this my mission is that i will somehow be involved[5:23:51] in the ending of anthony cumia that's what i ultimately want i want whenever his end is[5:23:58] his obvious end i want it to have something to do with something i did even if it means i just[5:24:03] nudged someone in the right direction i want to be a part of his demise okay um however i mean i[5:24:13] could only care about it so much and it's kind of on autopilot now the demise and this is one[5:24:19] of these milestone moments where you go okay good now can we branch out from this and get[5:24:25] this because this could work listen to this pathetic old count tell this horrendous story[5:24:33] black pussycat loved it loved jimmy uh hugged my good friend jimmy norton i love him and uh we are[5:24:42] inseparable uh had a few drinks had a few drinks went over to the comedy cellar which of course is[5:24:53] the iconic comedian of new york gathering place now last night or the night before last actually[5:25:04] was the patrice o'neill benefit the patrice o'neill benefit uh i was at a couple of them[5:25:12] until well i became something called persona non grata okay so i think that's for those you don't[5:25:20] know every year they get together to celebrate and honor the morbidly deceased comedian patrice[5:25:28] o'neill who i have a rule with dead guys too they're not they didn't die i don't hold them uh[5:25:41] i don't regard them as what they were when they died i regard them as what i think they would be[5:25:46] now so i can't walk around this earth like every other bimbo out there going oh patrice o'neill[5:25:55] if he was here he'd be the just running comedy he'd be the best oh really i haven't seen any[5:26:03] sort of sign that anybody from that era would be the best now i hate every single person from his[5:26:11] era so i could only you know i could only imagine that he would be terrible now he'd be doing ads[5:26:20] he'd be a fool a buffoon you know as time has passed and all these guys have turned into[5:26:29] the biggest letdowns of our time you know i've never seen anything this bad so i could only[5:26:35] assume he'd be terrible and uh but i don't know but i also don't know if he'd be great[5:26:41] so i'm not gonna go around saying he's so great he's so great you know who he reminds me of[5:26:46] bill cause but no he doesn't remind me of anybody uh they hold this bill burr every year holds this[5:26:57] benefit for patrice o'neill i am an anti-benefit person i don't believe in benefits i don't like[5:27:02] this idea you get something terrible happen to you or your family and then the world over pays[5:27:08] you for it i don't like it because i know it's never gonna happen to me and i don't like that[5:27:13] at all i don't like here for instance uh a man uh is uh got a kickstarter going because his[5:27:20] eight-year-old son was killed by a crazy murderer and then they had none the news is uh they raised[5:27:29] eight million dollars for the death of the son and i go who get wait wait wait who gets the eight[5:27:37] million and they go the dad the family for what their son died okay this is giving me motivation[5:27:45] to kill my son eight million dollars with the right marketing so i don't like a benefit what is[5:27:51] patrice o'neill's family why should they be getting paid yearly after he's died they didn't[5:27:58] get paid anything while he was alive it's not like oh patrice o'neill's family they're so used[5:28:03] to living what kind of lesson are you teaching these kids why does patrice o'neill's ex-wife[5:28:09] by the way this would have been an ex-wife i don't care who's in his family they'd be denounced[5:28:14] by now every year they get millions of dollars every year millions of dollars so it's like[5:28:20] patrice o'neill dies and the family deserves millions of dollars off of this why because[5:28:27] maybe he would have given them millions eventually i don't understand the thinking behind it so i[5:28:32] hate it and i don't know why you can't why you need to be raising money can't you just hold a[5:28:39] patrice o'neill holiday where you remember his greatest moments if you love him so much[5:28:44] every year his family needs to get a cash out a buy a payout every year they held the benefit[5:28:50] the first time and it made like 893 thousand dollars you would think that's enough for this[5:28:57] family but nope every year they come back and they want to beat that last year's number patrice[5:29:01] didn't even make any sticker art or light news themes he did nothing he ate pizza on stage every[5:29:08] day killing himself you know we always joked about him dying i was very mad when he showed up i think[5:29:15] it was at the lake shore theater in chicago and he sits on the stool and he goes you got my pizza[5:29:20] you got my pizza and he ate an entire box of pizza and just sat there on the stage eating pizza and[5:29:26] he's this big sitting on the stool he can't get up she sits on the stool this hat eating slice[5:29:32] after slice i go is anyone gonna tell him that he's gaining a little weight you guys love him[5:29:39] so much but you just let him eat pizza all day how did he die pizza i'm not even kidding he died that[5:29:47] night from the pie he really did he died of like obese related illness and it was also funny how[5:29:58] big and fat he was and then he died and now we're gonna have a benefit for the big fat obese man who[5:30:03] ate himself to death literally ate himself to death i don't know why that's being congratulated[5:30:09] family your son ate himself to death here's another million dollars for some crooked ass[5:30:15] black family who like they really don't need to be in the same restaurants as me[5:30:23] okay they don't need that cash they've got enough and it's not like they're not making money off[5:30:29] this guy's death they've been making money off it since he died where do you think all the money for[5:30:34] his streams and all this nonsense that he makes t-shirts they've made like six million dollars[5:30:41] off his death that's too much i'll let you get 800 000 once that's it for a death that's good[5:30:47] enough any more than that it was worth it that your family member died there's no other way[5:30:54] around this any more than a million dollars per loss is worth it so there should be no more tears[5:31:02] after i see the dad of the sandy hook shooting uh suing alex jones for one billion one billion[5:31:08] should do the trick it should be enough for you to go i literally don't even know that nigga's name[5:31:16] makes for the money whoa go see the hook that's what you should be doing after you win a billion[5:31:23] dollars for your shitty gross son being executed you should be so lucky to have that happen to you[5:31:33] i mean congratulations imagine what you could do with this billion and imagine what patrice's[5:31:40] family have done laying around eating the same pizza that he died from sitting around i bet[5:31:46] they've really kept the place nice with all the money huh i bet it's a dump i bet you go see what[5:31:52] they've spent that fucking benefit money on it'd make you sick you know who would love this rant[5:31:59] who's that i was just thinking about you and anthony sitting together having a little drink[5:32:04] oh yeah because he's kind of on the same side as me he would be like so fucking true hey[5:32:13] that's what i've thought since day one i find benefits to be um quite too much we should have[5:32:23] a benefit for kumia now because he never gets invited to the yeah it's his main dream it's[5:32:28] obviously killing him the only reason he went to the comedy yeah he wanted to see his friends[5:32:31] everyone was in town well think about this i mean the patrice o'neill benefit is every one of his[5:32:37] friends it's jim norden it's the guy it's all these fucking new york assholes that were all[5:32:44] on opie and anthony every day and now they're all hanging out having the time of their life[5:32:49] at the benefit and kumi is sitting outside going fuck that's so sad can i get in there maybe so he[5:32:57] decides he's gonna go he goes you know what this year that all my friends are there he'll tell the[5:33:02] story you wanna hear the story yes you're gonna fucking love it this is a milestone i don't care[5:33:07] if you heard this before we gotta play it for you we gotta mark this time this is a good kumia story[5:33:12] here he goes latin or french something like that but i am persona non grata and uh i was not[5:33:20] invited back and it was a personal thing between uh bill burr and me and bill's wife and i did not[5:33:30] as sorted as i just made it sound but um so i got the cellar hold on this is important and this is[5:33:37] the second half of the story i told you about patrice now i got to tell you about bill burr[5:33:41] what does bill burr have that we want he's got one thing that we all want no it's not the money[5:33:48] it's not the fame it's not the talent it's that black wife and where do we want her strong no i'm[5:33:55] totally kidding you don't want her strung bill burr's got a black wife this to me is hilarious[5:34:02] it's always been hilarious i was actually filling in for gavin mckenna's sitting in this seat where[5:34:09] anthony kumi is sitting right now and i did a show on compound media sitting in this seat talking in[5:34:14] that exact same microphone with my hands on the exact same desk and i started making fun of bill[5:34:21] burr's black wife on compound media do you remember this it was the first time that i filled in for[5:34:29] gavin i filled in for him twice and i started doing bill burr and ryan katsu yamagashi gavin[5:34:36] mckenna's chinese assistant called in and did a brilliant bill burr impression so good that[5:34:43] some people think that was bill burr calling in and he was going well you got to be talking about[5:34:48] my wife like they why are you calling my wife and i did this whole back and forth with him pretending[5:34:54] it was really bill burr and we made fun of the black wife and i think that's very fair i think[5:35:01] bill burr has a black wife is a very comical place to play especially for this crew of comedians[5:35:09] who have said much worse and remember i told you bill burr shows up not just with a black wife[5:35:18] but with a whole other[5:35:23] genre of human being you know what i mean it's not that she's black it's that she looks like[5:35:30] the mom from family matters and you're bill burr a skinny white bald redhead twerp you've never[5:35:40] been with a black woman and then you show up with this woman car car and you're going i mean[5:35:46] she looks like a 65 year old black woman you know this has got to be a bit nobody made a joke about[5:35:53] it ever nobody said a peep nobody said boo bill didn't make jokes about it it needed to be joked[5:36:03] about it was enough that it caused probably the reason kumia is not at this benefit is because[5:36:09] bill burr has a black wife and the reason people there is a phenomena about this black wife of his[5:36:21] because again it's like i told you it's if he showed up with a 65 year old lady just like sam[5:36:26] tripoli you can't have a guy just have an old lady that's a totally different genre of guy[5:36:32] show up and everybody's just pretends that's fine you know it would be like if i just introduced miss[5:36:39] cleo as my new wife you would go this is crazy but nobody could figure out what to say when this[5:36:47] happened so they were just like oh man they're great together they're great what about how she[5:36:52] looks which is a thing but i totally understand why nobody can make it a thing and you can't say[5:37:00] anything about it because it's crazy right but it really is a thing that needs to be fully fleshed[5:37:08] out and understood and discovered and bill burr knows that's kind of what fucked bill burr in my[5:37:14] mind bill burrs got almost a perfect score and then this black wife whoop and it's been a shaky[5:37:22] ride ever since because he knows he should have done a full stand-up special about can you believe[5:37:31] i'm with this black lady like what the me with this old black lady i mean you probably thought[5:37:39] i was punking you you know who would do that you know who would do that pantry no who i was gonna[5:37:46] say burt burt would say that about himself if he had a black wife yes yes i think so and i think[5:37:54] bill really this has got weird so kumia who is a complete i mean really look at kumia's twitter[5:38:02] i we've never seen anybody more racist than kumia and i like to stop the clock and really[5:38:10] let everybody understand he says the craziest things about black people they're fully real[5:38:16] they are not jokes that i've ever seen online i've never seen anyone go as far as him[5:38:22] he'll late night on twitter he'll just be like every n needs to be extinguished these mother[5:38:31] fucking black and like really so bill burr knows this thank god this is what i've been trying to[5:38:39] get joe rogan to know you know joe rogan just had this guy on a year and a half ago joe rogan talks[5:38:44] about him all the time loves him and you're going how does joe not know about his twitter how does[5:38:51] joe not know about all the underage girls and all these crimes that kumia is committing and we got[5:38:57] to get this info on the other hand of course i'm sure if bill burr heard everything you've ever[5:39:03] joked about him he wouldn't want you in the club either me yes but he allows me in the club he[5:39:09] understands where i'm coming from he understands kumia but yes imagine this motherfucker is making[5:39:16] fun of your black wife in a real racist way do you ever want to see him again you kind of have[5:39:22] to give up the possibility of and good for bill burr for being one of the only idiots not like joe[5:39:28] rogan or you know the only person who's not an idiot i should say good for bill burr for going[5:39:34] no this guy is despicable and wait to hear what he did because joe rogan is sitting around going[5:39:40] around oh anthony kumi is remarkable oh my god he inspired me to do podcasting i'm gonna have him on[5:39:45] the show at least bill burr knows what we know you know nobody should be friends with anthony[5:39:52] kumia not even me think about that i'm friends with helen mark harley shelvo pancakes who other[5:40:00] brendan shab i'm even but not kumia kumia is a no-go for anybody if you work with kumia[5:40:09] and everybody who works with him knows exactly what he's done if you work with kumia you're as[5:40:14] bad as him uh knowing what he's done i mean kumia is where i draw the line kumia is bad[5:40:22] it's not just a fool he's not redeemable he can't make this better he needs to end you must[5:40:33] believe me thank you did you guys watch succession last night yeah are we allowed to talk about that[5:40:40] no that's too soon because i was just gonna say imagine kumi's episode[5:40:50] oh wow yeah no don't say that no don't ruin that for them succession by the way how boring is it[5:40:57] i don't think it's pouring at all i like hang on to every word don't you you're always falling[5:41:04] not you i'm begging for them yeah well let me tell you what let me tell you there's guys out[5:41:09] there there are guys out there who still think like a hot chick is like angelina joe lee or[5:41:21] jennifer or uh pamela anderson and it's like they didn't they're not constantly updating like[5:41:29] yes angelina joe lee was hot once pamela anderson was hot once you need to be updating that[5:41:35] remark about them almost every five minutes you can't just keep calling angelina joe lee and[5:41:43] pamela anderson hot they are not hot at all anymore they're atrocious so when i see something[5:41:50] like uh what was i talking about when i see something like succession i go a lot of people[5:41:55] are remembering seasons one through three as being great they take this break and now[5:41:59] they're back and now you still think they're really hot it's rubbish and i don't want you[5:42:05] watching it thank you no i don't feel that strongly about it at all but succession this[5:42:10] season if you were thinking hey man i'm falling asleep here sometimes if you are not alone they[5:42:15] don't know what they're doing with that show should have been cancelled years ago he's gonna[5:42:21] do that here let's get to kumi's story it's heartbreaking it's everything you've ever[5:42:25] wanted to hear and it's pretty well told anthony kumi everybody i think amy schumer was there too[5:42:31] i saw her walk in i think she went right downstairs and her security guy[5:42:39] now who is amy schumer's security guy get garrett cake boss[5:42:45] ginger ale joe can't stand this close close close club soda kenny[5:42:55] there you go just watch it's a movie time here club soda kenny[5:43:07] i just this is gonna take forever is there a way i could cut this shortening down here you know[5:43:13] what i mean click he's talking about this club soda kenny is his old bodyguard just click like[5:43:18] two minutes ahead and see what he's talking okay this is his old bodyguard from when they did[5:43:22] opie and anthony and i guess this bodyguard now will do work for bill burr still security guard[5:43:29] not bodyguard security so opie and anthony used to have this security man that they call club soda[5:43:36] kenny now club soda kenny now works for bill burr he also works for jib norton i'm gonna fast[5:43:42] forward a little bit more let's listen to this so bill burr comes in okay get up a little bit[5:43:50] there we go of quizzing the booth who puts on the patrice o'neill benefit every year bill burr bill[5:44:00] burr bill burr well if bill burr's in town and all these comics that did the show they're in town[5:44:15] where would they go in new york city oh my god wait you didn't even know if they were[5:44:19] going to be there that is a thirsty desperate ass loser move so he hears the benefit happen[5:44:28] that night and he goes where would they go afterwards where would all my old friends[5:44:33] and bill burr if they were doing the patrice o'neill benefit in town where would they all go[5:44:38] and he goes to the comedy cellar alone to see if they're there wow it's sickening miller place[5:44:48] where they came up in the comedy cellar in new york city so bill burr comes in[5:44:59] and i'm sitting there i see bill and i'm not going to be a faggot it was bill burr by the way[5:45:09] it was not someone that looked like bill burr that i took a picture of a video and didn't talk[5:45:15] to or attempt to have some words with so he knows that bill burr hates him he sees bill burr[5:45:22] sitting there he decides he's not going to be a faggot like he says he's going to go talk to him[5:45:28] i did attempt to have some words with bill burr i was going over there to be sincere to try[5:45:40] my best to as uh as bobby kelly said bury this shit with burr bobby kelly told me that because[5:45:49] could you bury this shit with burr so i'm like look we're both here let me bury this shit with[5:45:57] burr i'll try i walk up to the table oh yeah uh he's sitting down i i kind of uh used a chair to[5:46:07] put my knee on to get on a relevant i said billy what's up how you doing uh[5:46:17] dad who now i'm starting to think maybe this was not the best move his dude wasn't dude it was dude[5:46:27] like that's amazing like when he talks about white women just disdain in his voice[5:46:34] uh were you fucking talking to me after the shit you said about my wife[5:46:43] hey bill first of all oh i gotta say that is so good he goes up to bill burr thinking[5:46:51] ah bill won't care i'll get to reunite with all these guys they'll all love me i'll have a great[5:46:56] night out he just got there to the comedy cellar he took the train he gets there and he goes up to[5:47:03] bill and the first thing bill says is dude after all the shit you said about my black wife[5:47:09] oh thank you bill i know what did you think was gonna happen so that he was gonna be as insincere[5:47:17] and spineless as everybody else you work with and just nothing matters because you're all losers[5:47:24] well he's not as much of a loser as you and your other friends kevin brennan and all these[5:47:29] low lives that keep circling back with each other you know he's grown out of that i mean this is[5:47:37] like the scene in the tv series that really hammers home how the guy is just completely[5:47:44] out of touch yes what or he's in denial i mean this is a great scene i'm so glad he told the[5:47:48] story let's hear some more the fans are the ones that kicked that whole fucking thing off[5:47:54] never said well i didn't get that much out[5:47:59] before now let me think let me ask the booth who else does club soda kenny do security for[5:48:11] jim nornton jim nornton very good but i had seen jim prior to that and spoken to him and he was[5:48:20] great funny fuck show he's one of the loves of my life jim nornton so that wasn't really an issue[5:48:27] that he's done security for that now we have talked amy schumer she was in i guess she was[5:48:34] downstairs doing a a set or something and someone else that club soda kenny does security for it[5:48:41] can't be opie no he had done security for the great greg opie use beer show watch it on opie[5:48:51] radio he's showing his face now and stuff i know i guess ever since uh uh alex uh stein okay uh[5:49:00] did presented him uh he's now like okay you can't be telling the whole story i saw in a restaurant[5:49:07] what do you mean i want bill to talk about this i would love to hear bill talk about this and if[5:49:12] anybody knows if bill happened was being so nice and he was probably like wasted and stumped oh[5:49:17] yeah he probably looked like a man and then yeah and they're like get this guy well listen he's[5:49:22] gonna tell the story about what happened here um actually at a bar just prior to this uh pop up um[5:49:29] anthony kumi uh uh twitter and look at maybe the last i'm such a fat is up there chatting try[5:49:36] security for bill burr so when i was up there saying that this uh club show to kenny he notices[5:49:44] that he's there at the comedy cellar he's doing security for bill burr and again club[5:49:49] soda kenny and kumi at work together year after year after year uh on opie and anthony okay[5:49:58] are chatting trying to bury this shit with bill burr his security guy club soda kenny[5:50:10] quite literally threw me out oh yeah oh yeah he just bumped me out of the fucking place[5:50:23] yes i was not worthy to bury the shit no with bill burr yes he was chest bumped out as he[5:50:38] described it this is his description imagine the real story is going to be so amazing when we hear[5:50:44] it he was just bumped out of the room immediately after trying to talk to bill burr thrown out of[5:50:52] the comedy club all his friends inside looking out the window none of them coming out none of[5:50:58] them coming out to say kumi i'm so sorry nothing they're all inside eating christmas dinner is the[5:51:04] windows fog up and he's outside thrown out by his ex personal security guard fuck that's pretty[5:51:13] incredible lizard let's hear some more the way that's why i never tried to bury the shit[5:51:22] in my drunken haze last night it seemed like a good idea bobby kelly echoing in my head oh you[5:51:29] gotta bury the shit with bird dude and get a bandolier kenny the guy i fucking spent years with[5:51:41] as one of our security guys that's bad chest bump me physically removed me didn't even nicely be[5:51:51] like listen man you gotta no straight to physical go go go yes are you fuckers no[5:51:59] when i'm drunk you cunts no i'm a magnanimous fucking dick face i'm kidding see that's part[5:52:06] of the joke i don't get drunk and belligerent i'm not a belligerent guy especially when i'm trying[5:52:13] to bury shit i don't go i didn't go uh look billy bear me but you sober looks bad[5:52:24] you a little drunk is disgusting i hate to break it to you you with any sort of inch of drunk[5:52:32] confidence is repulsive because you look like you're gonna hurt a girl or we don't want you[5:52:37] out having this type of fun feeling like you're one of the guys the human beings of the earth at[5:52:42] a bar you're not capable we don't want you drinking every time you've drunk you've thrown[5:52:47] a gun at a girl's head bitter hand god knows what else don't forget there's that clip this week that[5:52:53] everybody is sharing and screaming you should play that too at nick fuentes delorean but probably[5:53:00] woman delorean faggot delorean anything but man didn't do that and then i was physically yes[5:53:13] removed by club soda kenny dude i'm beside myself this is one of those stories you go[5:53:22] you probably shouldn't tell this story because you know why you shouldn't tell these breakdown[5:53:27] stories like this where it's you're being uh people liking you it's getting chipped away[5:53:34] like maybe the only reason that you even have any fans left is because they think you're still[5:53:39] friends with joe rogan bill burr so if they're friends with you it's probably not true about all[5:53:45] your heinous crimes and maybe they could like you too but once you start telling people oh yeah bill[5:53:50] burr hates me then maybe robert kelly needs to start hating you right because why do they all[5:53:57] not hate you if bill hates you so it could become a real and then your fans see oh bill hates him[5:54:04] all these comics hate him oh maybe he is this terrible guy so you don't want to do that it's[5:54:10] not good marketing for yourself to talk about how all these people hate you you know when i come on[5:54:16] this show i show you well the comedians that i cover on the show they're pouring out to me[5:54:21] brian redband uh oh don't check if he emailed you back oh yeah let's see you know brian redband[5:54:27] all the guys that we talk about they're all reaching out to me owen benjamin i talked[5:54:30] about his kids being in coffins apparently he loves me so it you know it's um you don't[5:54:37] want to be telling people let's see if red band got back to me that's right brian redband nothing[5:54:43] yet nothing yet damn he must be in vr cross your fingers it's 905 here so could be in vr[5:54:55] okay let's listen to some more coming up pathetically telling this story that[5:54:58] yeah you don't really need to tell people this bro i'm beside myself just thinking[5:55:06] this has been on my mind that this fucking guy who we supported paid and enjoyed the company of[5:55:19] for years[5:55:23] i was just another piece of shit yeah in the way of one of his paychecks even worse[5:55:30] even worse i was just another piece of garbage that face yeah needed to be removed because his[5:55:38] paycheck might have been uh getting upset that i would dare try to bury that shit with bill burr[5:55:49] and what was your idea very to go no no i didn't say anything it was the fans like he said before[5:55:56] so bury it means you're just gonna blame the fans saying they're the only ones who's made[5:56:01] racist remarks i love you that's what you were gonna do that all no no no i'm glad that bill[5:56:09] bird did not allow that to happen so that's the story you can hear more of that by searching[5:56:14] reddit should we play at the end he like screams oh okay there's a good ending go to like 10[5:56:21] seconds before that okay let's see here we go the ending look at him and keith robinson sitting[5:56:27] across not saying shit a joke i guess you have to go back with all i have to go back farther[5:56:33] i think so okay i just remembered fucking disgusted oh yeah here you go this is needed[5:56:40] to be removed because his paycheck might have been uh getting upset that i would dare try to[5:56:49] bury that shit with bill burr listen[5:56:53] oh[5:56:57] i am fucking disgusted fucking disgusted fuck bill burr up his fucking ginger black wife ass[5:57:11] yeah fuck club soda kenny[5:57:15] okay i think we'll end it right there very crazy stuff go see it it's great that that happened uh[5:57:25] what a wonderful surprise and then we've got just this one more and then we're gonna take a break[5:57:29] here what's the kumia uh oh that is just the clip that has been going yeah i know where is it uh[5:57:36] just click the short version is good enough because the other one's like 30 minutes okay[5:57:40] but this is here you go this was kumia streaming live the other night this is brand new so maybe[5:57:46] bill saw this yeah this is him streaming live from his starter apartment in new york city[5:57:51] nick is being a nigger with this system nick i can't get on every time fix your shit nigger[5:58:02] fuck nick wow nick is this black guy poor kid poor sweet little black kid there it was we're[5:58:11] gonna take a quick little break i gotta go back in bat i have to make don't you wish we had that[5:58:16] we'll be right back on red bar[5:58:47] ah[5:58:58] jeans[5:59:08] household onto my jeans[5:59:10] I got lube drippin' outta my asshole, onto my jeans.[5:59:13] I like to tickle my butthole with my freehand.[5:59:16] You're a butthole comic.[5:59:19] I got lube drippin' outta my asshole, onto my jeans.[5:59:22] I got lube drippin' outta my asshole, onto my jeans.[5:59:25] You're a butthole comic.[5:59:28] You're a buttthole comic.[5:59:30] I got lube drippin' outta my asshole, onto my jeans.[5:59:33] I got lube drippin' outta my asshole, onto my jeans.[5:59:36] You're a butthole comic.[5:59:42] You're a butthole comic.[6:00:06] Hands on your knees, I'm Angelina Jolie.[6:00:09] Hands on your knees, Angelina Jolie.[6:00:12] Let me put my hands on your knees, you can break my hair.[6:00:15] You're a fat criss-cross in the best of ways.[6:00:19] Me and my boyfriend listen to the chili peppers.[6:00:24] We write hit songs without trying like all the time, all the time.[6:00:31] I take off all my clothes, dance naked for the neighbor.[6:00:36] It's gone like fuck it, come and give a shot.[6:00:40] I open up the blinds.[6:00:43] I do crashing to the wind, get onto the bike.[6:00:46] Take a minute to yourself, skinny dip in my mind.[6:00:49] I'm in love.[6:00:51] I'm in love.[6:00:55] Cut the money through my shirt.[6:00:57] Honey on the vine, baby I'll bring the coffee.[6:01:00] If you bring the wine, I'm in love.[6:01:03] I'm in love.[6:01:07] I'm in love.[6:01:09] Hands on your knees, Angelina Jolie.[6:01:13] Let me put my hands on your knees, you can break my hair.[6:01:17] You're a fat criss-cross in the best of ways.[6:01:20] Hands on your knees, Angelina Jolie.[6:01:23] Hands on your knees Angelina Jolie.[6:01:26] Let me put my hands on your knees, you can break my hair.[6:01:29] You are that place where I put my plans in[6:01:33] My setup's good, I don't have much to lose[6:01:37] I've got a dog, I take it for a midnight[6:01:41] A midnight ride, yeah[6:01:45] My boyfriend tested positive for COVID[6:01:50] It don't matter, we've been kissing[6:01:53] So whatever he has, I have, I can't cry[6:01:57] Let the caution take away and get onto the bike[6:02:00] Take a minute, find myself skinny[6:02:02] Dip in my mind, I'm in love[6:02:06] I'm in love[6:02:10] Angelina Jolie, hands on your knees[6:02:14] Angelina Jolie, let me put my hands on your knees[6:02:17] You can bury my head, you're a black Christmas[6:02:20] And I'm glad tonight[6:02:22] I'm in love[6:02:25] I'm in love[6:02:30] I'm in love[6:02:34] Angelina Jolie, hands on your knees[6:02:38] You can bury my head, you're a black Christmas[6:02:44] And I'm glad tonight[6:02:46] I'm in love[6:02:52] I'm in love[6:02:55] I'm in love[6:02:58] I'm in love[6:03:00] Angelina Jolie, hands on your knees[6:03:03] Angelina Jolie, let me put my hands on your knees[6:03:06] You can bury my head, you're a black Christmas[6:03:09] And I'm glad tonight[6:03:11] I'm in love[6:03:14] Angelina Jolie, hands on your knees[6:03:16] Angelina Jolie, let me put my hands on your knees[6:03:19] Hi, Lana Del Rey put out a new album. It's getting real high marks around here, I'll tell you that.[6:03:29] Welcome back to Red Bar, of course, the show that goes anywhere and does anything. Thank you for being a Scars Club member.[6:03:36] If you're not a member yet, please join redbarradio.net slash Scars Club. That's our racket there. That's our hustle.[6:03:43] Okay, that's all we need you to do. Scars Club. If you're not Scars Club, I'm not talking to you via any sort of message. No interest.[6:03:53] Thank you so much for being Scars Club, though. You know, very good club.[6:04:00] Okay, we've got a few more things here today. Remember to keep that. Did anybody think about a performance for me to do?[6:04:06] Yes, a few people. Few people had some suggestions for the ending performance today. Why don't you send those over to me? Don't verbally say that.[6:04:14] I didn't get enough, so people should see more right now. Yeah, so what you could do is you could start texting me each one you get, and then I could think about them.[6:04:21] Because otherwise it'll be a bunch of negative sounding no's and similar to Kanye, I don't like saying the word no anymore on the show.[6:04:31] This was really cool. You've seen this promoted. Probably none of you actually got to watch this because of its convoluted nature.[6:04:40] Whitney Cummings produced the roast of Bert Kreischer. Hurry up. Is it on YouTube? Nope, it's on OnlyFans TV.[6:04:52] Which you already assume wouldn't be on like the app stores. You don't even look, but we looked and OnlyFans TV is on the app store.[6:05:01] So OnlyFans, you know, this place for the psycho, sick, twisted prostitutes that's banned from the Apple app store because that's porn.[6:05:13] So what they did is they came out with OnlyFans TV where they show family friendly content or whatever content that's approved by Apple.[6:05:21] And that way OnlyFans TV could be on the app store. They could connect you to OnlyFans via your Apple universe.[6:05:29] And then they could push OnlyFans onto you via OnlyFans TV. It's genius.[6:05:35] So what they've done is they've hired a bunch of assholes to make content for OnlyFans TV.[6:05:42] And they decided to poach after comedians. So they hired Whitney Cummings TVs.[6:05:51] Whitney Cummings. Hey, Ashley. That's Ashley Cummings, her sister watching us right now.[6:05:56] Everybody say hi to Ashley. Hey, Ashley. Ashley, Whitney Cummings, real sister is watching this right now.[6:06:03] I want to give Ashley a trigger warning. This following content. I know you've reunited with your sister.[6:06:09] The following content does contain scenes of criticism and harassment towards your sister.[6:06:18] Now, I knew this day was going to come where we had to cover Whitney again. Meanwhile, Ashley Cummings, she's a big fan of Red Bar, just made up with Whitney.[6:06:27] Now, I don't think any person I don't give any person enough credit to think that they could sit there and hear their sister discussed.[6:06:35] And this type of negativity without turning on the guy who's doing it, I would hope that that would be the case.[6:06:42] So, Ashley, remember, you've got to take yourself out of this. You can't take it personal.[6:06:49] And, you know, you don't have to listen to it. But this will.[6:06:57] Possibly end Whitney's. Just joking. You'll get still the same amount of money that you've always been getting.[6:07:07] I hope you're getting a lot of money from Whitney. If that was my sister, I would ring her like a rag until I got every red cent out of her.[6:07:17] You know, Whitney is the true Ashley. I don't call anybody the true Ashley, but Ashley was deemed the crazy one by Whitney.[6:07:25] I think it's the other way around. Whitney was given this opportunity to produce and direct the roast of Bert Kreischer.[6:07:34] And boy, was it kooky, kooky, kooky, kooky. Very unprofessional, poorly shot, edited very amateurly.[6:07:48] And we got to see some bonus scenes at the end of Whitney directing and practicing for the roast and telling everyone what to do, which is the best part.[6:07:59] And Whitney was being an asshole, not in the fact of like somebody being mean, but an ass as in, wow, what an ass.[6:08:13] You know, when someone's being so like.[6:08:16] We'll show you some clips from that. Would you like to see some of our stuff that we found during the roast of Bert Kreischer?[6:08:24] Very excited. All the stars, got all the stars. You're going to see them all.[6:08:28] And we've picked out can pick out more than what I put in, too, if you wanted to see someone else's set that you remembered, you could just go through.[6:08:35] First of all, this thing shot like Terrifier 2.[6:08:39] It really it was very.[6:08:42] Do I have to log into OnlyFans TV?[6:08:44] I don't think so. No, it should just work.[6:08:46] It's a great TV station.[6:08:48] OK, here it comes.[6:08:50] Yeah. If you've ever seen Terrifier 2, this is shot worse and more Boombastic than Terrifier 2.[6:08:57] I put in the scene it reminded me of.[6:08:59] Maybe I'll play it here. This is from Terrifier 2.[6:09:02] I hope you guys have seen this. This was a great film.[6:09:05] Does it just start here or should I fast forward a little bit here?[6:09:11] Add the Terrifier clip.[6:09:14] OK, here, let me see. I can figure this out. OK, so Terrifier 2, they have this scene in the show where they're like.[6:09:21] This is like a dream. It's a dream sequence. So it doesn't even look like Terrifier 2.[6:09:25] It looks like a dream sequence from Terrifier 2. That's a weird thing to look like.[6:09:30] Bert's roast looks like the dream sequence from Terrifier 2.[6:09:34] So there's a scene in Terrifier 2 where they're like watching a children's show and there's a clown and things get nasty.[6:09:42] I'll just show you this scene from Terrifier 2 and then we'll show you Bert's roast.[6:09:47] There's Terrifier. He's on a children's kids show set.[6:09:54] And everything's going nuts.[6:09:56] I see you beating your faces. Beat him.[6:10:01] Watch what Terrifier does.[6:10:03] Beat this man. Beat this man. Beat this man.[6:10:08] That's Tara.[6:10:10] Oh no! He's killing everyone on the kids show.[6:10:17] So as you can see, if it looks something like that, if I'm reminded of this.[6:10:26] It's not your typical way to shoot a roast, right? This? Look.[6:10:33] That's Whitney.[6:10:36] And Whitney basically caused the same exact type of terror.[6:10:40] Whitney is Terrifier. That's what the guy's name is. Terrifier.[6:10:44] That clown? Watch.[6:10:52] There's Whitney.[6:10:57] What a scene, huh?[6:11:01] Oh, Terrifier's out of a couple bullets. He doesn't care.[6:11:10] See what Terrifier does next. This is a great scene.[6:11:13] Uh oh.[6:11:16] Here comes Whitney.[6:11:19] Oh no, that's not a fire thing, is it?[6:11:24] There's a little girl trying to hide. She's wounded. Terrifier sees her.[6:11:35] Terrifier burns a woman playing the guitar.[6:11:45] But it was just a bad dream. As you can see, they cut to this woman in bed now.[6:11:49] She's about to wake up, I hope, and realize it was just a bad dream.[6:11:53] Bert Kreischer's roast was very real.[6:11:58] And I'm going to show you. Let's start with the opening.[6:12:01] And it's got all your favorites. Let's check it out.[6:12:03] The Roast of Bert Kreischer by Whitney Cummings.[6:12:13] Guys, so it's this wacky intro here with a yacht.[6:12:17] Whitney Cummings presents[6:12:21] The roast, the only fans roast of Bert Kreischer.[6:12:26] There she is, Whitney Cummings, everybody.[6:12:31] Jim Norton is on the road.[6:12:37] Very long, too long. Tony Hinchcliffe on the road.[6:12:42] These are our guys. So far, it's our guys.[6:12:47] Trevor Wallace, not our guy.[6:12:54] Big Jay Oakerson, friend of the show.[6:12:59] Wow, they cut him. They didn't.[6:13:01] Rachel Feinstein, who is not really relevant anymore.[6:13:05] Whitney thinks she is.[6:13:07] Donnell Rawlings, the black.[6:13:12] That old black man. OK, that's enough.[6:13:17] Bert got nothing. I mean, Big Jay, who I confuse with Bert now.[6:13:22] And then look at this, Tom Segura in a porta potty.[6:13:28] Going on. Knock it off, guys. I'm too rich.[6:13:33] The Roast of Bert Kreischer.[6:13:41] Here it comes. You'll see it's going to get demonic.[6:13:44] That's terrifying.[6:13:46] This is terrifying.[6:13:54] So, oh, yeah, it's hard to see.[6:13:56] Everything is shot like a skate video from the 90s.[6:13:59] It might be tough to see through TV set to TV set to your screen at home,[6:14:03] but they'll cut to some like scenes that are like completely bleached,[6:14:07] bypassed, overexposed with like noise.[6:14:11] The editing is terrible again.[6:14:13] Yeah, it's like a wacky skate video or.[6:14:18] I don't know. And maybe you think that's just the intro, but no, no.[6:14:22] The whole thing. Extremely fast.[6:14:25] Yes, it's really weird here.[6:14:36] Your host for the evening, give it up for Travis Wallace.[6:14:46] There's Whitney. Terrifier.[6:14:49] Now, when it cuts to Whitney, she's glowing.[6:14:51] She's put a glow effect on the shots of her that aren't on the other guys.[6:14:56] I don't know if you can see this through the it's glowing.[6:14:59] There is a glow around her similar to the glow on her show.[6:15:03] It's almost as if she likes how her podcast looks because her podcast has[6:15:07] a heavy filter on it to make all the women look so smooth.[6:15:10] She almost said, well, use the same filter for my podcast.[6:15:14] The same lot, but I don't know the word lots.[6:15:17] I'll call him a filter.[6:15:19] And then they're like, I don't know, Whitney.[6:15:21] This is like a totally different shooting environment.[6:15:23] You know, the lot that kind of works only kind of works, by the way,[6:15:27] on your podcast might look really weird here.[6:15:30] No, sir, we already paid for that.[6:15:32] You throw that pocket on.[6:15:34] It's pretty hot.[6:15:36] This show is a maturity.[6:15:38] Now, I thought this was a big time TV star.[6:15:41] Two broke girls.[6:15:43] She's in bed with Bill Lawrence shrinking, probably as her handed.[6:15:47] There's a black woman in the show shrinking that is very similar to[6:15:50] Ritney Cummings. It should have been played by Whitney Cummings.[6:15:53] So the other thing that you need to know about.[6:15:56] Usually in almost every single show that we watch,[6:15:59] I pick out a character that should be played by Whitney.[6:16:02] Yeah, it would make every show way better.[6:16:05] After last night watching one of her acting showings,[6:16:09] I'm not so sure anymore if I believe in her as much as I once did.[6:16:14] Well, yeah, you got to see the accused.[6:16:16] You got to watch the show, the accused episode starring Whitney.[6:16:20] If you're into Whitney.[6:16:22] It's great.[6:16:24] So the other thing you need to know about Whitney during this roast is,[6:16:27] again, it looks unprofessional.[6:16:29] But what's worse is Whitney couldn't stop hogging up the attention.[6:16:37] While other people would be speaking, she gets up and starts twerking.[6:16:41] And it's like, sit down, like nobody's doing that.[6:16:45] They made this whole thing almost about her to a way where it's like,[6:16:49] bro, you know, that's I'm surprised these comics even let you get away with this.[6:16:55] So we're going to hopefully hunt down some of that.[6:16:58] Let's go to 1230 Whitney.[6:17:00] Let's do the full intro and then I'll show you some of Whitney's little parts.[6:17:05] Welcome to the OnlyFans Roast of Bert Kreischer.[6:17:07] I'm your host, Trevor Wallace, and I am honored to be here at this Make-A-Wish Foundation.[6:17:12] And I'm only saying that because most of you are fat enough to be genies.[6:17:17] It truly is a blessing to be roasting Bert Kreischer,[6:17:20] the only man who looks worse after Sober October.[6:17:26] The audio is all off.[6:17:28] Sober October, you should try No Not November.[6:17:30] I mean, your wife does it every month.[6:17:35] Bert, I'm kidding, Leanne loves fucking the machine.[6:17:38] See how bright it is?[6:17:39] It's got the brightness of Whitney show where they almost expose it as much as it could go[6:17:43] so that it blurs out the wrinkles and stuff.[6:17:47] Look how white that is.[6:17:48] And after every single joke, they allow two seconds of laughter and then they immediately cut to the next.[6:17:53] So they're editing out of real time.[6:17:55] So usually, like, imagine you're watching, like, The Tonight Show.[6:17:59] You know how that's edited?[6:18:00] It's still edited, but it's edited as if it's a live show.[6:18:04] It's got the pacing of a live event that was edited via a switcher.[6:18:09] That's how these live shows should run, like Saturday Night Live.[6:18:13] It's not, like, edited later in the computer.[6:18:15] It looks like it was edited on the fly using a live switcher.[6:18:18] That's how these events should be done.[6:18:20] But Whitney is editing it like a YouTube video and just cutting out every silence that there is[6:18:27] so people are just, like, speed telling their jokes to edits and cuts.[6:18:31] It's absurd.[6:18:33] Drives me nuts, too.[6:18:35] Don't get me wrong, Bert is still in love with his wife.[6:18:37] After they have sex, he is shaking.[6:18:40] Because he hasn't had a drink in five minutes.[6:18:45] Two couple, though. Two couple.[6:18:47] And I'll tell you this.[6:18:48] You're going, who's this guy? Why is he here?[6:18:49] Exactly.[6:18:50] The roasts should all be friends of the guy.[6:18:53] It shouldn't just be random people.[6:18:55] I've never understood this.[6:18:57] The Comedy Central roasts do this, where they hire guys that never even met the guy they're roasting.[6:19:02] Shouldn't it be Bert's friends?[6:19:04] Christina, Tom, Joe Rope?[6:19:07] Why this TikToker?[6:19:09] Or this YouTube kid, right?[6:19:11] I don't know anything about him.[6:19:13] No.[6:19:14] It's like Whitney just did this.[6:19:16] It has nothing to do with Bert.[6:19:18] It literally is just like...[6:19:20] And Whitney has Miranda Cosgrove come on and all her little girlfriends that Bert's never met?[6:19:26] This was a Whitney event.[6:19:28] And it's Whitney doing favors for all these people she knows, but not doing any favors to Bert or his legacy.[6:19:35] This roast needs to be redone, I'll tell you that.[6:19:39] Because he deserves a better roast filled with people that he knows.[6:19:42] He doesn't know Jim Norton. He's never met him.[6:19:46] Two different cities![6:19:48] Alright, so let's get to the first Whitney mistake.[6:19:50] This is 1230 in.[6:19:52] And we'll see what Whitney does here.[6:19:55] 1230. Here you go.[6:19:57] So Bert's on stage, people are laughing, the shots are getting screwier and screwier as the time goes by.[6:20:03] I wrote all of my jokes on the detail sheet they send you for everybody.[6:20:09] Because these pages are comedy in their own.[6:20:13] Okay, so Big Jay's up there. He's doing his roast.[6:20:16] And then they're going to cut to Whitney. Watch what Whitney's doing.[6:20:20] Rachel Feinstein's here.[6:20:22] Big Jay is up roasted.[6:20:24] Whitney gets out of her seat. There was nothing that called for this.[6:20:28] She gets out of her seat and goes in front of Rachel Feinstein with her ass and does this white lady twerk on her lap while Big Jay is talking.[6:20:38] Why?[6:20:39] That was inappropriate. That pissed me off, Ashley.[6:20:43] About your sister. Watch.[6:20:45] These pages are comedy in their own.[6:20:47] Look at this.[6:20:49] Rachel Feinstein is one of my favorite people in the world.[6:20:51] Sit down! Sit down, you desperate old...[6:20:53] That is so pathetic.[6:20:55] Did you see her face in this? Look.[6:20:59] Rachel Feinstein's here. One of my favorite people in the world.[6:21:01] Come on![6:21:03] This is what you want to be doing as a 90 year old woman?[6:21:06] Look at you.[6:21:08] And she was nervous the whole night.[6:21:11] She made an ass out of herself like the mom from You People.[6:21:18] She was acting like the whitest Karen frantic idiot all night.[6:21:23] You can see it in her eyes here as she twerks.[6:21:28] There was no reason for her to twerk right now.[6:21:31] A comedy in their own.[6:21:33] Look at this.[6:21:35] Rachel Feinstein's here. One of my favorite people in the world.[6:21:37] Sit down! Sit![6:21:39] Fun facts on the sheet. Not a big weed smoker, Rachel.[6:21:42] Weed brings out the worst.[6:21:44] So that's it. And Whitney's up and doing...[6:21:46] She'll sit down and she'll go like this.[6:21:48] And then she'll go, what could I do to cause attention?[6:21:50] While the guys are talking.[6:21:52] She did this time and time again throughout this roast.[6:21:54] And God knows how many other times that we didn't see.[6:21:56] Maybe she had a little Coke for her special night.[6:21:59] She was sucking on a lollipop all night too.[6:22:01] Maybe she was on M.[6:22:03] I don't like it.[6:22:05] 1910.[6:22:07] This with the production value of this made it seem like, no, no, no.[6:22:10] We're not going to give Whitney a big round of applause for being TV boss.[6:22:15] After this. Sorry.[6:22:17] Let's see some of Tony Hinchcliffe's set, shall we?[6:22:21] Tony Hinchcliffe coming up.[6:22:25] Your next comic is Tony Hinchcliffe.[6:22:27] Tony is one of the kings of comedy.[6:22:30] Because he looks like a product of incest.[6:22:33] His special was called One Shot because that's all it takes for him to blow a man.[6:22:37] Ladies and gentlemen, Tony Hinchcliffe.[6:22:43] Fuck yeah.[6:22:45] It's so cool that we have a bellhop from the White Lotus hosting tonight.[6:22:48] That's amazing.[6:22:50] I'm excited to be here with some of my favorite comics.[6:22:52] It's great to see the great Jim Norton on the dais.[6:22:55] Was there anything special about Tony Sedler?[6:22:59] I can't remember.[6:23:01] I don't know if anything actually good happened here.[6:23:03] Oh, yeah, he did some big long winded.[6:23:10] Whitney.[6:23:11] Donnell looks like Idris Elba's reflection in water.[6:23:17] Yikes.[6:23:18] You know who he reminds me of?[6:23:19] Zack from Lubbish Blind season four.[6:23:23] He is so... yes.[6:23:25] You ever see a guy that reminds you of Hinchcliffe?[6:23:28] And then you can't stop going, Tony.[6:23:30] You can't stop hating the guy.[6:23:31] You've got to show Tom Sedler's at 59, 25.[6:23:33] Yeah, this was really bad.[6:23:35] Because for some reason, Tom just sees me and pisses me off.[6:23:38] 29, 25.[6:23:39] Okay, 29.[6:23:40] Sorry.[6:23:41] 29, 25.[6:23:42] Tom Segura.[6:23:43] He couldn't be there.[6:23:44] He couldn't be bothered.[6:23:45] He was out driving some cars.[6:23:48] 29, 25.[6:23:49] And Tom Segura, watch what they do here.[6:23:51] This is disgusting.[6:23:53] He reels his attitude lately?[6:23:55] Tom Segura?[6:23:56] Oh, yeah.[6:23:57] You know what?[6:23:58] Mike listens to almost every shower.[6:23:59] What is that?[6:24:00] Two bears, one cave.[6:24:01] One cave, yeah.[6:24:02] And I'm so loud.[6:24:04] Like, he's deaf as hell.[6:24:05] Well, it's hard to hear in the shower with all my electronic scrubbing devices.[6:24:10] So the whole house is, like, shaking with, like, I know you guys all hate Bert.[6:24:14] Well, that bathroom is very echo-y.[6:24:15] People should acoustically treat their bathrooms.[6:24:17] It's time.[6:24:18] You guys all hate Bert way more than Tom somehow.[6:24:21] But Bert will be like, huh, I'm being stupid, Bert.[6:24:24] And then Tom is just like...[6:24:25] It's exactly like Fighter and the Kid.[6:24:27] The Fighter and the Kid is exactly the same way.[6:24:29] They hate Brendan with all their guts, and they'll kind of let Brian Callen slide.[6:24:36] It should be the other way around.[6:24:37] It's like Bert is the easy mark.[6:24:39] Bert is an angel compared to Tom.[6:24:43] I know.[6:24:44] All right, let's see this.[6:24:45] Tom Segura coming up.[6:24:47] Where's Wayne?[6:24:48] Why are you going to the bathroom?[6:24:49] You just ate.[6:24:50] You can puke it after the show.[6:24:51] What are you doing over there?[6:24:52] Ladies and gentlemen, the world's heaviest hologram live.[6:24:56] I'm so sorry for talking so much.[6:24:57] Yeah, go ahead.[6:24:58] But Trevor Wallace did this bit at the very beginning of the show where he ripped open[6:25:01] his jacket, and he had like a fake hairy chest on.[6:25:04] Yes, and he still...[6:25:05] And it's like you can take that off right after the bit, by the way.[6:25:08] You don't have to wear it the whole show.[6:25:09] So he did a bit where he was going to take off his shirt like Bert, and he had all this[6:25:13] hair on there.[6:25:14] He has been bringing attention back to this fake hair all night.[6:25:18] So when he sits down, he'll go...[6:25:21] And it's like, it's over.[6:25:23] You get one time to do...[6:25:24] Ha, ha, ha.[6:25:25] Button the shirt up now, the bit's over.[6:25:28] That really makes me upset.[6:25:30] All right.[6:25:31] Here's Whitney introducing Tom Segura.[6:25:33] The show.[6:25:34] What are you doing over there?[6:25:35] Ladies and gentlemen, the world's heaviest hologram live.[6:25:38] Hologram.[6:25:39] It's Tom Segura.[6:25:40] Okay, so Tom Segura is behind a closed door on a hologram screen.[6:25:52] He couldn't be there.[6:25:53] He's going to do his set via hologram.[6:25:56] There's Bert, and you'll see this was not very funny.[6:26:02] Hi, I'm Tom, Bert's best friend, which is why I'm coming to you from a box far, far away.[6:26:11] I just wanted Bert to see me in a box since there is no way he will outlive me.[6:26:17] These are horrible jokes.[6:26:19] This is a hologram, but I'm pretty sure Bert has no idea if I'm here or not.[6:26:23] How sad is that?[6:26:25] He's so stupid.[6:26:26] What?[6:26:27] I'm here to give the comedy community something it has never seen before.[6:26:31] Me, talking next to Bert without being interrupted.[6:26:35] I got this box from the same people I got your teacup from.[6:26:39] Nazi technology is amazing.[6:26:43] Not so funny to have Bert drinking out of Hitler's teacup[6:26:46] after finding out he spells juice, J-E-W-S.[6:26:50] He doesn't.[6:26:52] There's nothing to do with juice.[6:26:53] I looked in our podcast, Two Bears, One Cave,[6:26:55] because I know at least we'll never get canceled for misinformation[6:26:59] because in order to spread misinformation,[6:27:01] you'd actually have to have some amount of information.[6:27:04] We don't.[6:27:05] I always knew one day Bert would ask me to go on OnlyFans with him,[6:27:08] but I never imagined in a million years it would be this demeaning.[6:27:11] I thought we'd just have to suck each other off or something.[6:27:15] Boo.[6:27:16] Yeah, boo, everybody.[6:27:17] Boo.[6:27:18] At 3 a.m.[6:27:19] Boo.[6:27:20] Sorry I couldn't be there tonight.[6:27:21] Bert told me he was getting a roast, and I immediately went to buy a plane ticket.[6:27:25] My assistant said, where do you want to go?[6:27:27] And I said, anywhere.[6:27:28] I don't have to hear that fucking machine story again.[6:27:31] I don't care where it is.[6:27:32] I just can't take it anymore.[6:27:33] Oh, God.[6:27:34] This is really bad.[6:27:35] They said, well.[6:27:36] He thought this was going to be like when someone makes a speech at an awards show,[6:27:38] but they couldn't be there and the whole crowd is laughing.[6:27:40] And he's such a smug asshole.[6:27:43] This was terrible.[6:27:44] Look at his face.[6:27:45] Who do you think you are?[6:27:46] You think you're a professional comic with these terrible, terrible jokes?[6:27:49] He was the worst.[6:27:50] Why is that okay to ruin the roast?[6:27:51] And they got this hologram for you?[6:27:53] This was supposed to be a big, funny bit.[6:27:55] And you're his best friend.[6:27:56] I know.[6:27:57] And I was just going to say, you're his best friend.[6:27:58] And that's your writing?[6:28:00] And this is something better than Bert goes to the fridge at 3 a.m.[6:28:02] This is where a comic is supposed to really shine.[6:28:05] To where as even if you're not a fan,[6:28:07] you're getting put up in front of all these other people with other fan bases.[6:28:10] This is your time to shine.[6:28:12] Get some attention on yourself here.[6:28:13] These jokes, I mean, you could have wrote this on a napkin on the way to the show here today.[6:28:18] And I would have thrown it out.[6:28:19] Hila Klein was in the audience, for God's sake.[6:28:21] Hila Klein was there in the audience.[6:28:23] This makes me hate computers, people are saying, because he's in the computer store.[6:28:27] I'll take you somewhere Bert won't be, so I'm here with your kids.[6:28:32] Even Bert, do you see Bert's face here?[6:28:36] This is Bert.[6:28:37] He's disappointed.[6:28:38] You're killing his buzz.[6:28:42] He has to go.[6:28:46] Imagine being this quiet and he's used to laughing.[6:28:48] You know, he's drinking and drinking and drinking.[6:28:50] He's got to keep laughing or he'll get tired.[6:28:52] And also imagine being at Bert's roast, your best friend,[6:28:55] and not telling a single joke that makes him go...[6:28:57] Yeah.[6:28:58] You have not made Bert laugh once and he's been dying laughing at everybody.[6:29:04] With your kids.[6:29:07] Bert is my best friend for the sake of our ads.[6:29:10] No, he really is a good friend.[6:29:11] He really motivated me to lose weight[6:29:13] after someone at the airport mistook me for you.[6:29:15] That was a real rock bottom for me personally.[6:29:18] Thank you.[6:29:19] I've heard people compare us to the best friends from Sesame Street.[6:29:22] Look at Bert.[6:29:23] And that makes sense, because he's Bert and I earn-y more money.[6:29:28] So here's the part where I'm supposed to say something sentimental[6:29:30] and then Bert cries because he's emotionally stunted and let's be honest...[6:29:33] This is rude, watch.[6:29:34] Probably drunk already.[6:29:37] In all sincerity, Bert, I love you.[6:29:40] You're the funniest guy I know.[6:29:41] A great comic, great friend, decent husband, and marginal father.[6:29:47] To all the people out there who say Bert is a fat, bloated,[6:29:50] narcissistic drunk who's completely oblivious to the people around him[6:29:54] and only cares about himself as he laughs incessantly at his own jokes,[6:29:58] I'd like to say this...[6:29:59] Hey, that's my friend.[6:30:06] Not as good as everybody else's, huh?[6:30:10] He's the creator of two bros.[6:30:12] And it's like, oh, and now Tom's gone and he's back[6:30:14] before we even have a chance to think.[6:30:16] Give me a moment here.[6:30:17] Yeah.[6:30:19] So things get wackier here.[6:30:21] Let's go back to Whitney's end of the night at 3830.[6:30:25] 3830. Let's check out what's going on here.[6:30:27] This is when Whitney starts to get irritated.[6:30:29] Okay.[6:30:30] 3830. Whitney is watching this happen and remember, Whitney is...[6:30:35] She's been micromanaging all night.[6:30:37] Micromanaging all night.[6:30:39] You know, she's a stickler for this stuff, so she claims.[6:30:42] That's why it's so disappointing to watch her be so unprofessional[6:30:44] but then get so mad at other people who aren't being perfect.[6:30:48] It's like, you set the tone.[6:30:50] And your tone was not professional.[6:30:52] So, yeah, they're not going to act the way you want them to do.[6:30:54] And they're trying to get in all these rehearsed bits[6:30:56] and they're not really landing well.[6:30:58] And you can see Whitney's getting a little annoyed.[6:31:00] Thanks for doing this. You're the greatest.[6:31:02] Thank you.[6:31:10] Donnell.[6:31:11] It's time for our next roaster who is actually here.[6:31:13] Well, barely. It's Donnell Rollins.[6:31:15] This is so weird.[6:31:16] Donnell, we do have a surprise for you.[6:31:19] Today is actually Donnell's birthday.[6:31:23] And since there is nothing black people love more...[6:31:28] Whitney has nice abs.[6:31:29] ...than the sound of white people singing.[6:31:31] Let's kick it off.[6:31:33] Happy birthday to...[6:31:36] Okay, this was unnecessary. It's Donnell's birthday?[6:31:40] Yeah.[6:31:41] So we have to sing happy birthday to Donnell? A full?[6:31:45] How about they could do it and then you edit that out[6:31:47] and then leave some room between the jokes.[6:31:49] So this is what I mean about her being unprofessional.[6:31:52] Just because it's one of the roaster's birthdays[6:31:55] doesn't mean you need to stop the show and sing a full happy birthday.[6:31:58] Watch this shit.[6:31:59] Let's kick it off.[6:32:01] Happy birthday to you.[6:32:06] Happy birthday to you.[6:32:07] It's a slow line, too.[6:32:09] They're bringing him a cake.[6:32:11] And the funny, hilarious cake that they got Donnell[6:32:15] is a picture of his face with some cash and it says,[6:32:18] I'm old, bitch.[6:32:21] This is what a room of a thousand comics came up with.[6:32:24] So they're singing happy birthday. They hand him this cake.[6:32:27] Happy birthday, Donnell.[6:32:33] Happy birthday to you.[6:32:39] Whitney.[6:32:42] Ladies and gentlemen, Donnell Rawlings.[6:32:44] Watch Donnell comes up.[6:32:46] He's got the cake in his hand.[6:32:48] Look what he does.[6:32:51] He's holding the cake. He's showing it to the audience.[6:32:55] And then, oh.[6:32:58] He drops it right on the floor.[6:33:01] But you know who didn't know he was going to drop the cake?[6:33:04] Whitney.[6:33:06] So now there's cake all over the set.[6:33:09] This is going to kill her continuity with all these edits.[6:33:12] And there's cake everywhere now, which was not the deal.[6:33:15] So you're going to see Whitney get a little peeved about this.[6:33:24] Look at Whitney.[6:33:25] She shoots up. Here, let me see if I can get her here.[6:33:32] Oh, she's got a mom-like face.[6:33:35] Remember when you're like, hey, mom's letting us goof around.[6:33:39] We're swearing with her.[6:33:40] And then you say like one thing too far and your parents are like.[6:33:45] You know what I mean?[6:33:46] That's what it is. Look.[6:33:52] Oh, I wish I could get it. Sorry.[6:33:55] Oh.[6:34:00] And she's like so mad and now she just has no choice but to be pretend mad.[6:34:04] Yeah, but she is pissed.[6:34:16] So he starts his roast and it was going, you know, this could have been good.[6:34:19] Watch how he does this. He drops the cake.[6:34:22] He waits for the audience to fade and then he starts to win his bet.[6:34:26] And then he's immediately interrupted by Rude Whitney.[6:34:31] I was supposed to be happy about that cake.[6:34:35] I've been here five.[6:34:36] You look like you're sucking a tiny dish.[6:34:38] Bitch, let me do the show now.[6:34:39] Thank you.[6:34:41] He screams at her.[6:34:44] sexual nervous anxiety PTSD.[6:34:48] Nervous ass anxiety.[6:34:50] And you'll learn why.[6:34:51] Because we're going to see a scene in the credits of Whitney[6:34:56] directing Donnell the day before and being a little bossy.[6:35:03] Donnell is actually sick of this.[6:35:05] What you're seeing is not a bit.[6:35:07] He's actually sick of her direction and annoyances.[6:35:12] Triggered ass the fuck down, bitch.[6:35:15] I watch the white bitch have a nervous breakdown in the middle of a show.[6:35:20] See?[6:35:21] And now she's not really laughing anymore.[6:35:24] And she's waving herself.[6:35:26] Nervous breakdown in the middle of a show.[6:35:34] This fuck.[6:35:37] You know what boss bitch is?[6:35:38] A lot of people don't know the definition of boss bitch.[6:35:42] They think because you got your ass out.[6:35:44] It's like you're a boss bitch.[6:35:46] And that would never have made Whitney a boss bitch.[6:35:52] Donnell.[6:35:53] Donnell.[6:35:55] You can go to 4210 and then pretty much watch everything till the end.[6:35:58] This was bad.[6:35:59] 4210.[6:36:00] Yeah.[6:36:01] Let's watch this.[6:36:06] Will they explain everything here?[6:36:07] Kinda?[6:36:09] Let's find out.[6:36:10] I'll stop it if I need to.[6:36:11] You can explain as you go, yes.[6:36:12] Jeff Ross.[6:36:13] Oh, Jeff Ross.[6:36:14] Okay.[6:36:15] All of a sudden Jeff Ross comes out.[6:36:21] I'm about to do something that I've never done.[6:36:23] I've done a lot of shit to stand up.[6:36:24] So reminiscent of something that happened way back in the day.[6:36:28] I am about to officiate a wedding.[6:36:34] Can I get some music?[6:36:36] So yeah, this is a bit that Whitney has planned with Donnell.[6:36:39] Even Bert's confused.[6:36:41] Donnell says, I'm going to officiate a wedding now, everybody.[6:36:44] And Bert's looking very confused.[6:36:46] And then this happens.[6:36:51] All right, stop it.[6:36:52] Can I get something a little blacker than that?[6:36:54] Are we ready to participate?[6:36:57] Then the bride comes out.[6:36:59] And it's this intern jerk off comic from your mom's house, right?[6:37:03] What's his name?[6:37:05] Uh, Josh Potter.[6:37:06] Josh Potter.[6:37:08] The comedian, Josh Potter, this useless scab of a guy comes out and Bert is very confused at why he is at a wedding dress.[6:37:17] That is roast.[6:37:19] Okay.[6:37:21] We're about to renew the vows.[6:37:23] Renew the vow.[6:37:24] First price and his wife, she hates this nigga so much.[6:37:28] She didn't even show up for this shit.[6:37:31] Okay.[6:37:32] So the idea was that they were going to renew the vows of Bert and Leanne, but she didn't show up.[6:37:38] So they're going to have Josh Porter play Leanne while Bert does his and Bert didn't know about this.[6:37:45] And he's actually, it's kind of a cool inside look at Bert.[6:37:49] This sickens Bert.[6:37:52] And I've never really seen Bert get like tired and annoyed of someone else's shit and kind of, you know, you'll see that here.[6:38:00] Watch this.[6:38:02] Fuck yeah, that's a man.[6:38:04] Suck your stomach in.[6:38:07] Suck it in one time, Bert.[6:38:08] That's it?[6:38:09] He's tired.[6:38:10] It's the same thing.[6:38:12] And Whitney is just standing there off stage like the stage mom, making sure Donnell hits all his marks the right way.[6:38:18] You see her there?[6:38:21] Fuck.[6:38:22] And I'll bring it to you, this thing goes nowhere.[6:38:24] I mean, I don't think they, you'll see in the bonus credits, they show what it was supposed to be, which wasn't much better.[6:38:32] Watch this.[6:38:33] Suck it in one time, Bert.[6:38:34] That's it?[6:38:35] I let it back out.[6:38:36] It's the same thing.[6:38:42] Okay.[6:38:43] All right.[6:38:44] We'll get busy.[6:38:45] See what happens here.[6:38:46] Bert, do you promise to make one more black friend?[6:38:52] I promise.[6:38:53] See, he's not really in it.[6:38:54] Can I just say what the bit was supposed to be?[6:38:56] Look, so then Whitney butts in, telling everybody this wasn't the bit at all.[6:39:01] So look at this.[6:39:04] I promise.[6:39:05] Can I just say what the bit was supposed to be?[6:39:07] I don't know.[6:39:08] No![6:39:09] Wow.[6:39:12] We don't give a fuck what it's supposed to be.[6:39:14] It is what it is, bitch.[6:39:16] This was planned, unplanned here.[6:39:19] Bert, right now, you look like you used the n-word in rap songs.[6:39:25] Okay.[6:39:27] Are we not letting you use it in rap songs anymore?[6:39:30] No.[6:39:31] Oh, fuck![6:39:32] Oh, fuck![6:39:34] Getting back to my wedding, I now pronounce you man and whatever.[6:39:41] Oh, yeah![6:39:43] And then the Kool-Aid man busts through.[6:39:48] Or some black...[6:39:50] Is this kind of a Bert reference that we don't get?[6:39:52] I don't know, but it is an Insane Clown Posse, Juggalo version of the Kool-Aid man busts through them.[6:40:02] Let's see this again.[6:40:04] Whatever.[6:40:06] They're getting married.[6:40:07] Kool-Aid man.[6:40:10] Bert doesn't know what the hell...[6:40:11] Kool-Aid![6:40:12] Kool-Aid![6:40:13] I didn't get it until...[6:40:15] Okay.[6:40:17] All right.[6:40:19] This is the end of the roast, I think, right?[6:40:21] And then it falls apart.[6:40:22] I want to say...[6:40:23] Do I have jokes?[6:40:28] Whitney is getting really mad.[6:40:30] Whitney, did you see her coming up?[6:40:33] So Bert just grabs the mic.[6:40:34] Nobody, everybody's bailed on their bits that they practiced with Whitney for hours.[6:40:39] Hours, you'll see.[6:40:40] And then look, look at Whitney.[6:40:42] This is the end of the roast, I think, right?[6:40:44] It's not the end.[6:40:45] Okay, do I have jokes?[6:40:47] Look at Whitney.[6:40:54] Did you see?[6:40:55] I got to zoom in on that.[6:40:57] This is the real Whitney.[6:40:58] But also, maybe if they'll just listen to her, then this wouldn't be such a mess.[6:41:01] Well, of course, but you can't listen to somebody who's a mess.[6:41:03] Watch.[6:41:05] Look at her face.[6:41:07] Fuck.[6:41:09] Ooh.[6:41:12] Ooh.[6:41:13] You don't want to be in trouble by that.[6:41:16] That's principle shit.[6:41:18] Okay, so let's see what happens next.[6:41:20] At 22 years old, I got involved with the Russian mafia.[6:41:31] Before we go, Bert's had a tradition at his shows for the last 15 years where he walked...[6:41:36] Okay, this is what you got to hear.[6:41:37] This is the kookiest part.[6:41:39] Listen to what Whitney says here.[6:41:40] She'll explain it.[6:41:41] Here we go.[6:41:42] Bert's had a tradition at his shows for the last 15 years where he walked out to his favorite Kesha song.[6:41:49] Okay, here you go.[6:41:51] Bert's had a tradition where he walks out to his favorite Kesha song.[6:41:55] Kesha the artist here?[6:41:56] Okay.[6:41:57] For the last 15 years where he walked out to his favorite Kesha song.[6:42:01] So we are going to send him off with a sing-along.[6:42:04] So let's get it.[6:42:07] So we're going to do a sing-along to the song he used to walk out on stage using.[6:42:14] You could probably just play it.[6:42:16] Which is probably not a song that Bert even knows the words to.[6:42:20] It's probably just, you know, the beginning of the song and then he comes on and it fades out.[6:42:25] But Whitney decides we'll end the show by doing a sing-along of that very song.[6:42:31] Okay.[6:42:32] We're going to send him off with a sing-along.[6:42:34] So let's hit it.[6:42:39] Then the song comes on and Whitney starts doing this white lady dance to try to get everybody.[6:42:47] As if this is going to be like confetti, the end of the show.[6:42:52] But it didn't really go as smooth as Whitney wanted it to go.[6:42:55] So she's kind of making an ass of herself right here.[6:42:58] Look at this.[6:43:03] Bert does even seem to really like this song.[6:43:08] He doesn't even remember this song.[6:43:10] It might not even be the same song that he's using.[6:43:13] And in Whitney's mind, she goes, wait a minute.[6:43:16] Bert comes out to a Kesha song.[6:43:19] I know Kesha.[6:43:21] And because she's been hanging out with Kesha over the last couple of years.[6:43:25] I don't know if you've paid attention to that.[6:43:26] But Bert doesn't know Kesha.[6:43:28] Bert probably doesn't know what Kesha looks like.[6:43:30] He doesn't know the words.[6:43:31] And Whitney is calling this a sing-along.[6:43:33] Nobody is singing the words yet.[6:43:35] Except for Whitney trying to get everybody to sing.[6:43:37] But nobody's doing it.[6:43:41] Bert is just going.[6:43:45] Enjoy. Enjoy this song.[6:43:48] This is how we all have to live every single day.[6:43:51] But no one knows the words.[6:43:53] So it's not quite a sing-along. Watch this.[6:43:55] Then the stagehands start bringing out a special guest. Watch this.[6:44:03] It's Kesha herself.[6:44:06] So in Whitney's mind, they're going to have a Kesha sing-along.[6:44:10] And all of a sudden Kesha, the real Kesha is going to come out.[6:44:13] And Bert's going to go, no![6:44:15] And lose it.[6:44:16] And everyone's going to go nuts, right?[6:44:18] Watch this.[6:44:20] This is how we all have to live every single day.[6:44:26] Kesha's coming out.[6:44:28] They've got to make sure you really know.[6:44:31] And then they bring her out dancing.[6:44:33] Bert's in another world.[6:44:38] He sees her.[6:44:41] This isn't really...[6:44:43] They have to slow it down.[6:44:51] And Fatty, look at this.[6:44:53] They have to edit.[6:44:54] Oh my God. They're dancing now.[6:45:00] And it just keeps going a little too long.[6:45:05] No one knows the words.[6:45:07] This is the greatest day of my life![6:45:13] Okay. Then it ends. But here's...[6:45:15] Now the real fun starts.[6:45:17] Now the real fun starts. So it ends.[6:45:19] And we've got credits to the Kesha song.[6:45:24] If you guys don't know this, Kesha...[6:45:26] Okay. Here comes a little more bonus footage from the roast.[6:45:30] And then we're going to see some behind the scenes takes of Whitney showing us...[6:45:35] I want to see the guy where Whitney was like,[6:45:37] extend that Kesha scene to about 30 full seconds.[6:45:43] Because Bert barely glanced at her.[6:45:45] Yeah. They really had to slow that down to show that Bert even knew who that was.[6:45:49] Kesha for a long time was the most popular sound on TikTok.[6:45:53] Most popular sound...[6:45:54] Ooh. And then look.[6:45:55] So she knows that nobody was really vibing to that or knew what it meant.[6:46:00] So she gets on stage and starts explaining this. Listen.[6:46:06] If you guys don't know this, Kesha for a long time was the most popular sound on TikTok.[6:46:11] Most popular sound until recently when she was dethroned by an obnoxious female comedian.[6:46:19] Who thinks she can pull off belly shirts at 40.[6:46:23] Making it hard about her again.[6:46:25] Ask Miranda Cosgrove her favorite curse words.[6:46:28] DJ play my shit please.[6:46:31] Okay. So I guess this has nothing to do with Bert.[6:46:34] This is how Whitney ties this mess together. Listen to this.[6:46:38] She goes, okay, everybody Kesha had a number one song on TikTok once.[6:46:44] Well, I had a viral TikTok with Miranda Cosgrove.[6:46:51] And everyone's like, okay.[6:46:52] And then Whitney says, play that shit.[6:46:58] And then they play Whitney's viral TikTok song and they've got Ari Carly comes out.[6:47:06] Miranda Cosgrove. You've seen this bitch?[6:47:09] Of course.[6:47:10] And now they all have to do a dance to Whitney's viral TikTok song that nobody here knows.[6:47:18] With Miranda herself, who Bert doesn't even know who that is. Watch this.[6:47:31] Look at this. Look at this scene.[6:47:35] Oh, this is not how it played in Whitney's mind during the writing of this.[6:47:40] Everyone's on stage like this and Whitney's like, she was picturing the heiress tour.[6:47:45] Yes. She was picturing like the biggest celebrate.[6:47:47] Look at these losers and Bert standing off stage going, oh, I'm tired.[6:47:54] Look at this. It's so pathetic.[6:47:56] Oh my God. The comics are like inching off stage.[6:48:01] Look at Miranda Cosgrove. Doesn't know what to do.[6:48:06] Oh yeah. Let's zoom it. Cause there's a lot to see here.[6:48:08] First of all, look at Miranda. We're already kind of zoom.[6:48:12] Okay. Look at Miranda here. Very embarrassed.[6:48:18] Go back a little bit. Sorry.[6:48:20] We're within a zoom within a zoom. She doesn't.[6:48:24] She knows this is really embarrassing.[6:48:26] And then you got to see big J over here.[6:48:31] Look at big J is like super embarrassed and he's just looking at Bert and they're both like, what the fuck is this shit, dude?[6:48:39] A dance off to Miranda Cosgrove song that she did with Whitney that we don't know about.[6:48:46] And he's really awkward.[6:48:48] Just stand in there. Look at this.[6:48:50] Dance, J.[6:48:51] Dance, J.[6:48:53] Come on. This is so funny and cool.[6:48:56] Look at Whitney.[6:48:58] Look at this. And it just keeps going.[6:49:01] And they all have to fake dance.[6:49:06] Look at this.[6:49:11] Bert gets up.[6:49:13] Bert knows he has to save it.[6:49:16] So now Bert's doing a little twerking.[6:49:20] They're still all dancing.[6:49:22] I don't know what Whitney thought this.[6:49:24] Come on. Miranda Cosgrove, Kesha being such good sports.[6:49:28] Those aren't Bert's friends, Amanda Cosgrove and Kesha.[6:49:32] You just you wanted to like invite your friend.[6:49:34] You like get your friends a gig.[6:49:36] Do you think Miranda Cosgrove hooked up with Tony?[6:49:39] Ooh, because I could see Tony's inching towards her back there, right?[6:49:44] Tony's inching.[6:49:46] That's his type of girl.[6:49:47] Donnell, where you going?[6:49:51] The Dance Bunny has just started, ladies and gentlemen.[6:49:54] His name is Donnell Rollins and he brings the thunder.[6:49:57] No, no, no, no. Look at Big J.[6:49:59] Miranda. Donnell. Miranda.[6:50:02] Donnell. Miranda. Donnell. Miranda.[6:50:06] Look at Big J just used this opportunity to take a pic.[6:50:09] To take a selfie with Kesha.[6:50:11] Might as well get a selfie with Kesha.[6:50:15] Look at this.[6:50:17] And now Bert, do you hear what Bert's going?[6:50:20] Kesha. Miranda. Kesha. Donnell.[6:50:24] Miranda. Donnell. Miranda. Donnell.[6:50:28] Kesha. Kesha. Kesha.[6:50:32] Then it finally ends.[6:50:34] We're getting into this bonus scene stuff now.[6:50:36] Or the directing. Here we go.[6:50:41] People are saying this is giving them a bad trip.[6:50:44] Yes. They're screaming.[6:50:45] I hope they're not on Beta Alanine.[6:50:47] So here we go.[6:50:49] We're the day before where director Whitney is showing Donnell.[6:50:55] And Donnell, it's just him and Whitney.[6:50:58] So this is interesting.[6:51:00] You saw how Donnell acted in front of the whole crowd, right?[6:51:03] Shut up, Mitch.[6:51:05] It's because he had to spend the whole day with her.[6:51:08] And when he's alone, he's just going to be kind of polite.[6:51:12] You'll see what transpires here.[6:51:13] So here's Whitney directing.[6:51:16] This reminds me of when Taylor Swift directs.[6:51:19] Anybody see Taylor Swift try to direct so she could win an easy ask?[6:51:24] Okay, watch this.[6:51:26] Time to officiate the vow renewal.[6:51:29] Cue music.[6:51:32] It's okay.[6:51:34] I don't want that.[6:51:36] We might need a different song.[6:51:38] Okay, okay. So Donnell will be facing the audience.[6:51:41] And then Bert will be here. I'm Bert.[6:51:45] Okay, Bert's here.[6:51:48] Josh, so we can't have this here.[6:51:51] And none of any, no one's into it. The rest of them are going.[6:51:56] And she's probably been exhausting them all day with the yelling and demanding[6:52:01] and telling them where to stand and what to say and how to smile.[6:52:05] I don't like these here because it's just a future problem.[6:52:07] No one's going to turn the show off because the cooler's not where it was 20 minutes ago.[6:52:12] Donnell will end up being here.[6:52:14] And Josh Potter in a wedding dress will be here.[6:52:17] Bert will be here.[6:52:19] You know?[6:52:21] Can I shoot Tony during the show?[6:52:23] Ooh, and then he's so bored of her bullshit.[6:52:26] He goes, can I shoot Tony during the show with a fake gun?[6:52:29] And she goes, but she wants business.[6:52:33] She doesn't want to talk about that right now.[6:52:34] That's not.[6:52:36] But she doesn't know how to act around. Black guy, what?[6:52:38] No. And then, I mean, I think it'll just do.[6:52:41] Can I shoot Tony during the show?[6:52:44] We can try to get a sound cue.[6:52:46] Children.[6:52:48] I want to do something different. First, I want to let Tony know whatever.[6:52:54] And then I will let her know whatever.[6:52:56] She's going through a bucket of props, showing them what they could do to make it funny.[6:53:01] And look at poor, sweet Donnell standing there.[6:53:04] And Donnell, he's like, this bitch out of her mind.[6:53:08] We're going to do a, you know, whatever version of it you want to do.[6:53:13] Manic.[6:53:15] It's just going to be awesome when you pull it.[6:53:18] And the only reason that she's even showing this during the credits is because Donnell didn't do the wedding right.[6:53:25] Didn't do the bit right.[6:53:27] So she's showing us how it was supposed to be, remember?[6:53:29] Which makes it even worse because.[6:53:31] Because it was nothing. It was worse than what Donnell did.[6:53:34] So she's trying to show us the bit that she planned and wrote.[6:53:38] Big shot, Whitney, the director.[6:53:41] But it turns out the one she's showing us now is way worse than Donnell's freestyle version.[6:53:46] Yada, yada, yada, yada.[6:53:48] But that said, are we in the spirit of...[6:53:51] We know how bad this is.[6:53:54] Who's better than you?[6:53:57] You and your happiness. I preach love.[6:54:01] But Donnell, you're kind of taking it serious too, you little nerd.[6:54:04] Huh? Caught ya![6:54:06] Donnell, you're rehearsing, huh?[6:54:09] You didn't do this. You didn't have the guts to do this gay ass shit when it came time to it.[6:54:14] You knew it was too ass corny, but you obeyed.[6:54:17] Too ass corny.[6:54:19] You obeyed during rehearsal because you were timid.[6:54:21] Ha![6:54:23] So, with that said.[6:54:25] Thank you.[6:54:29] Come on, now! Let's go![6:54:32] Look at this.[6:54:35] Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.[6:54:38] I don't know how to preach it.[6:54:41] It didn't mean to confuse it.[6:54:44] You don't know me. You can't give me work.[6:54:46] Look at Whitney.[6:54:49] When you're ready, you will say, are we ready to start the ceremony?[6:54:54] And you'll just need to cue them.[6:54:57] In some way.[6:54:59] So I didn't go, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I'm turning around.[6:55:01] But you're ending here. I just need you here.[6:55:05] Oh, she's so overbearing.[6:55:08] All I need is for Donnell to end here.[6:55:11] Or if you want to move up more. This feels a little crowded to me.[6:55:15] Oh, Whitney.[6:55:19] Blah, blah, blah, blah. I'm about to.[6:55:22] This is y'all during the credits still.[6:55:25] Phew. Is it over?[6:55:27] Yeah, I think so.[6:55:28] Oh, my God. Thank fucking God.[6:55:31] The Roast of Bert Preissure by Whitney Cummings.[6:55:34] We'll take a break. We'll be right back with more.[6:55:36] And red bar.[6:55:38] See you soon.[6:55:58] Danny Brown and J-Pac Mafia.[6:56:28] I'm here.[6:56:31] I know who he is and I'm looking for you.[6:56:34] It's Peggy and Eddie.[6:56:36] Everybody know what's in the code red clock.[6:56:38] Got to get you on the track.[6:56:40] That's why.[6:56:44] And you know, I don't know any other name.[6:56:47] The night of the heavens.[6:56:48] Oh.[6:56:58] Give me that.[6:57:00] Give me that.[6:57:02] I feel like.[6:57:04] Like, you know, I stick with the movie.[6:57:07] I don't play zombies.[6:57:12] Give me that.[6:57:14] You know, like.[6:57:18] Look at that.[6:57:26] And they got to do this for fun.[6:57:28] They have money like this.[6:57:32] I'm going to run.[6:57:34] OK, OK, I see what you're doing.[6:57:37] I came up.[6:57:40] Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.[6:57:43] Yeah, I'm going to do what you do.[6:57:46] I know.[6:57:48] Yeah.[6:58:00] Drinking this hot water and shit.[6:58:04] Honestly.[6:58:06] You need to still worry about me, man.[6:58:09] It's a goddamn shame, man.[6:58:11] Step it up, nigga.[6:58:13] This that ace in space shit.[6:58:15] Talking numbers on the jet.[6:58:16] Little random flight to Vegas.[6:58:18] Take down to a jet.[6:58:20] Picked up around two.[6:58:22] Ordered food off the app.[6:58:24] 2K for the denim.[6:58:26] Signing slight all jet.[6:58:28] Taking chances daily, man.[6:58:30] You niggas all rap.[6:58:32] Got three cell phones, still never call back.[6:58:34] Real millionaire shit.[6:58:36] Might put her in the Benz.[6:58:38] Write this shit off on Texas.[6:58:40] Have a five star den, man.[6:58:42] Tell her how it is, man.[6:58:44] Living how I live, man.[6:58:46] Stay up on your toes, dawg.[6:58:48] Make sure the money's straight.[6:58:50] From the city of the fog.[6:58:52] 89 earthquake was heading.[6:58:54] Man, shut.[6:58:56] From the city of the fog.[6:58:58] 89 earthquake was heading, nigga.[6:59:01] Numbers.[6:59:03] Good job.[6:59:05] Hey, hey, hey, hey.[6:59:07] This that go hard, never quit.[6:59:09] Flow so adequate.[6:59:11] Figured I'd sell this shit.[6:59:13] I ain't with the settling.[6:59:14] Had to get my mind right.[6:59:16] I cut off the petty shit.[6:59:18] I don't feel right throwing ones, nigga.[6:59:20] This real is a nigga trying to block my shine, nigga.[6:59:23] I still get it.[6:59:25] Really came from that cloth, nigga.[6:59:27] I built it.[6:59:29] I ain't taking no days off.[6:59:31] I need milk tissue.[6:59:33] Please no shoes in my loft.[6:59:35] I'm not a dirty nigga.[6:59:37] Drink a juice in the morning.[6:59:39] Calculate a hun.[6:59:41] Niggas wonder how I did it.[6:59:42] Put my grind in it.[6:59:44] I ain't stopped for nothing.[6:59:46] Put my thoughts on these tracks.[6:59:48] Show them how it's done.[6:59:51] Put my thoughts on these tracks.[6:59:53] Show them how it's done.[6:59:55] What's happening?[6:59:57] I got love for everybody, man.[6:59:59] So quit hating on me, man.[7:00:01] This shit pointless, man.[7:00:03] Sing it, Larry.[7:00:05] Living so big.[7:00:07] Make a little.[7:00:09] Cause I want to.[7:00:10] Cause I want to.[7:00:12] Cause I want to.[7:00:14] Feeling so thin a little.[7:00:17] Cause I want to.[7:00:19] Living so big a little.[7:00:21] Cause I want to.[7:00:23] Shine a little.[7:00:25] Cause I want to.[7:00:27] Cause I want to.[7:00:29] I'm having them car keys real quick.[7:00:32] See you niggas in a minute, man.[7:00:34] I'm finna bet some college out there.[7:00:38] Outside.[7:00:40] Bitch side.[7:00:43] R.I.P. my brother Trey.[7:00:46] For you, we forever activated.[7:00:49] Numbers.[7:00:51] Check.[7:00:53] Aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye.[7:01:04] I turned on the news and it said that I was[7:01:07] the number one most wanted person in the United States.[7:01:10] The United States.[7:01:12] The most wanted person in the United States.[7:01:15] The United States.[7:01:17] The United States.[7:01:19] Welcome back to Red Bar everybody.[7:01:21] You could kill that music.[7:01:23] So this is what they picked for me here.[7:01:25] And we just got to do it, okay?[7:01:27] This is the only song I recognized in the list[7:01:29] that they sent to me here.[7:01:31] Thank you for listening to Red Bar.[7:01:33] And this is going to be quite a challenge for me.[7:01:35] It's the song I've always wanted to do.[7:01:37] A song that I respect here.[7:01:38] 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16.[7:01:46] Thank you so much.[7:01:48] Here's the song.[7:02:08] I'm just trying to get out of the friend zone.[7:02:18] Cause you look even better than the photos.[7:02:23] I can't find the muscles that we ever found.[7:02:27] Driving through the gated residential.[7:02:31] Found out I was coming such a friend zone.[7:02:36] Keepin' trying to hide it but your friends know.[7:02:40] I only call you when it's half past.[7:02:44] By the only time that I'll be by your side.[7:02:49] I only love it when you touch me to feel me.[7:02:53] I'm fucked up cause you feel me when I'm fucked up.[7:02:56] Cause you feel me, yeah.[7:02:58] Call you when it's half past.[7:03:01] I, this is like the brand of coscro.[7:03:03] Just take a look.[7:03:05] I, I only love it when you touch me to feel me.[7:03:10] When I'm fucked up, that's real me.[7:03:12] When I'm fucked up, that's real me, yeah.[7:03:17] Let your novel keep it simple.[7:03:20] Time to keep it up, don't seem so simple.[7:03:25] I'm just fucking bitches before I saw you.[7:03:29] And I won't have to do it if I tell you.[7:03:33] Always trying to set me up to be here.[7:03:38] Just a feeling that could get me carried.[7:03:42] I'm just trying to live life for the moment.[7:03:46] And all these motherfuckers will relapse.[7:03:51] I only call you when it's half past.[7:03:55] I only love it when you touch me to feel me.[7:04:00] When I'm fucked up, that's real me.[7:04:02] When I'm fucked up, that's real me, yeah.[7:04:08] Thank you so much, bye.[7:04:10] See ya.[7:04:12] Let's do it.[7:04:14] We'll do it one more.[7:04:15] We'll do it one more.[7:04:16] We'll do it one more.[7:04:17] Let's do it one more.[7:04:19] It's real me when I'm fucked up.[7:04:21] It's real me, yeah.[7:04:23] It's real me, yeah.[7:04:25] Hold on, hold on.[7:04:33] This is me.[7:04:43] Come back to me.[7:04:54] It's a chance for an hour.[7:04:59] I only call you when it's dang it.[7:05:01] OK, let's do the other one here.[7:05:02] We'll do the other one.[7:05:04] Get away from me now.[7:05:05] We'll run.[7:05:06] We'll be right back.[7:05:07] I only call you when it's half past.[7:05:10] Well, where's the other one that I can do?[7:05:14] It's real me, yeah.[7:05:16] OK, hang on, boy.[7:05:23] OK, here's the next shot.[7:05:26] We're gonna use the same thing, one, two, three.[7:05:29] Thank you so much for listening to this one.[7:05:32] We'll see you guys next time.[7:05:33] Thank you all.[7:05:35] We're turning you.[7:05:36] This has been quite the show.[7:05:38] I hope they have the lyrics on here.[7:05:40] When you're out with your friends,[7:05:42] with your new Mercedes-Benz, and you're a-ha-ha,[7:05:52] And you're hard drugs[7:05:56] And you're so hard for school[7:05:58] Don't you really think you're cool[7:06:00] When you're hard drugs[7:06:04] And you put on your iPhone[7:06:06] And you step into the zone[7:06:08] When you're hard drugs[7:06:12] When you're[7:06:13] I can't do it, can I?[7:06:14] Hi everybody[7:06:15] Yes you can[7:06:16] Help me, get me out of here[7:06:17] Hard drugs, okay everybody[7:06:20] We are all on drugs, yeah[7:06:24] Never get it done[7:06:28] We are all on drugs, yeah[7:06:32] Give me some of that stuff[7:06:35] Thank you all, good night[7:06:40] Another hit show[7:06:41] Another hit show, Jules[7:06:51] I can't do it, can I?[7:06:53] Don't you really think you're cool[7:06:54] When you're hard drugs[7:06:57] And you're so hard for school[7:06:59] Don't you really think you're cool[7:07:01] When you're hard drugs[7:07:03] When you're hard drugs[7:07:05] And you wish you could quit[7:07:07] Because you're really sick of it[7:07:09] And you're hard drugs[7:07:12] Give it to me[7:07:13] We are all on drugs, yeah[7:07:17] Give me some of that stuff[7:07:21] I want to reach a higher plane[7:07:29] Where things will never be the same[7:07:48] We are all on drugs, yeah[7:07:53] Give me some of that stuff[7:07:58] I want to reach a higher plane[7:08:03] Where things will never be the same[7:08:08] Where things will never be the same[7:08:14] We are all on drugs, yeah[7:08:19] Give me some of that stuff[7:08:24] We are all on drugs, yeah[7:08:29] Give me some of that stuff[7:08:34] We are all on drugs, yeah[7:08:39] We are all on drugs, yeah