redbar.watch

episode: RED BAR RADIO S20 E27

mentions

transcript

[0:00:00]   with beautiful colors and green and a black star in the center here it is[0:00:30]   oh[0:01:00]   Luke, and now you're under my control.[0:01:30]   Hey![0:01:32]   Yes![0:01:34]   Hello![0:01:36]   Yes! Welcome.[0:01:38]   Hi, how are you?[0:01:42]   Hey Jules, how are you?[0:01:44]   Hi.[0:01:45]   We also have Jules in the house. What's up, what's up?[0:01:48]   Jules in the house.[0:01:50]   This is going to be a very difficult podcast to do.[0:01:54]   This is how Chris DiStefato must have felt when he tried explaining his new sunglasses.[0:02:00]   Yep, I'm wearing a pretty cool cardigan today.[0:02:04]   It's a male's cardigan.[0:02:06]   It's designed specifically for men.[0:02:10]   Pretty cool, huh? Jules, do you have anything?[0:02:12]   I think you look amazing.[0:02:14]   Jules is in a lot of pain today.[0:02:18]   I'm fine.[0:02:21]   Well, I'll tell you about it. I've got a joke about it later.[0:02:24]   Yeah, Chris DiStefato is walking around with these new glasses.[0:02:28]   I'm going to show you this clip. I've been really studying this.[0:02:30]   Why does Chris DiStefato really need to be anywhere?[0:02:34]   Why is he blowing up?[0:02:36]   Why is he...[0:02:38]   Every time I turn on YouTube, it's a Chris DiStefato thing.[0:02:41]   He's exploding.[0:02:43]   He's got this pale-looking podcast.[0:02:45]   You know, it's very pale.[0:02:47]   And he's on there. He's always bragging about his wife.[0:02:49]   But we've got a clip from him.[0:02:51]   I understand how he feels now because when you wear something so ridiculous,[0:02:56]   you feel like you need to start making excuses.[0:03:02]   You should just own it. It's not ridiculous.[0:03:05]   I know. I'm talking about Chris DiStefato, Jules.[0:03:07]   I'm talking about how Chris DiStefato can't own it, so he makes a bunch of excuses.[0:03:11]   I, on the other hand, look marvelous.[0:03:15]   Thank you so much for being here.[0:03:18]   Pretty exciting show.[0:03:20]   I also am wearing my Pearl shirt here.[0:03:23]   Pearl. Ooh.[0:03:25]   I've got Pearl all over my house.[0:03:27]   Everywhere I open the fridge, I've got a Pearl postcard on there.[0:03:30]   Pearl's from the movie.[0:03:32]   Pearl, it's Shia LaBeouf's girlfriend, Jules, who you're nothing like.[0:03:38]   Especially today.[0:03:40]   So, yeah, another hit, hit, hit show coming up for you guys.[0:03:44]   I'm hoping to do eight hours.[0:03:45]   I've got my little packets.[0:03:47]   I saw somebody say, Mike, you don't take so many fuels.[0:03:51]   What did they say, Jules?[0:03:52]   It was so funny on the last show about my fuels.[0:03:55]   Mike, please, you take too many fuels.[0:03:58]   You're always taking a fuel or something like that.[0:04:01]   Yeah, I got some fuels for you guys today.[0:04:03]   I got some different drinks here that we're going to try.[0:04:06]   If you DM me, I'll tell you where I got this cardigan from.[0:04:11]   You're not going to believe it.[0:04:13]   And if you could guess where I got the cardigan from today,[0:04:17]   then you're not going to believe it.[0:04:19]   So it's going to be a pretty cool DM or guest or whatever you want to say.[0:04:23]   Got a lot of stuff to talk about here at the opening of the show.[0:04:26]   This week, I had the honor of being immersed.[0:04:34]   Immersed or immersed?[0:04:37]   Immersed, yes.[0:04:39]   I tried out PlayStation 5's virtual reality.[0:04:46]   And boy, was I taken to another reality.[0:04:50]   Jules has never seen me like this.[0:04:52]   I haven't.[0:04:53]   If anyone knows anything about me, I don't play games.[0:04:57]   I don't play around with people especially.[0:05:00]   And I don't like to goof around playing the game.[0:05:03]   She's got this game, Event Horizon, where you're running around with a bow and arrow.[0:05:07]   It all looks fake.[0:05:08]   I love that game.[0:05:09]   I hate the game.[0:05:10]   She's always playing Hogwarts, which I can't stand.[0:05:14]   Valencia![0:05:16]   Virilago![0:05:19]   I just don't understand.[0:05:21]   I don't understand the whole premise of that place, you know?[0:05:25]   So I don't like that.[0:05:27]   But we got the VR.[0:05:29]   We had the honor of pre-ordering it.[0:05:32]   We were selected by Sony to enter the pre-order many months ago.[0:05:37]   And it finally came.[0:05:38]   And I put it on first.[0:05:40]   Okay, she let me try it first.[0:05:42]   And remember, I don't game, okay?[0:05:44]   I find games to be sickening.[0:05:47]   I mean, I find VR to be sickening as well.[0:05:49]   I barely VR, I'll tell you.[0:05:51]   I played for a good hour and a half my first day.[0:05:57]   You were like a little kid discovering the world.[0:05:59]   I was climbing.[0:06:01]   I got the event Horizon Game for VR.[0:06:04]   What is it called?[0:06:05]   Horizon Finalist?[0:06:06]   Horizon Call of the Mountain.[0:06:07]   I was doing this for about six hours before I said,[0:06:10]   enough already with this.[0:06:12]   This is climbing and you get to see your hands in there.[0:06:15]   And then I'll tell you, the first thing I did was try,[0:06:20]   while we were waiting for this game to install,[0:06:24]   we downloaded a shorter game called...[0:06:29]   Kayak.[0:06:30]   Kayak, okay.[0:06:32]   And this game starts you off in a training pool.[0:06:37]   It's an indoor pool and you're in a kayak.[0:06:39]   And I'll tell you something, I screamed.[0:06:45]   I was fully immersed.[0:06:47]   Fully immersed.[0:06:49]   Video games, they do nothing for me except make me aggravated[0:06:52]   that somebody else is playing them.[0:06:53]   I hate the look of the system.[0:06:56]   I hate the controls.[0:06:57]   I hate everything about the PlayStation store[0:07:00]   and all that stuff.[0:07:02]   But I'll tell you, I sat in that kayak[0:07:07]   and it was about to crash, slowly crash into the wall.[0:07:11]   And I went, oh, oh.[0:07:13]   I mean, I was jumping.[0:07:14]   I was screaming.[0:07:15]   She had never seen me like this.[0:07:17]   It's like I came to life.[0:07:19]   It was really cute.[0:07:20]   In VR.[0:07:21]   And I got to say, this is just an incredible thing[0:07:26]   that they've done.[0:07:27]   It really is kind of incredible what they've done there.[0:07:30]   They were trying to put a vignette on me.[0:07:32]   I didn't like that.[0:07:33]   I turned that off in the settings.[0:07:34]   I did a lot of work with the settings.[0:07:36]   I looked around the room.[0:07:37]   I created a cage.[0:07:39]   Have people played this?[0:07:40]   You got to try this.[0:07:42]   You love the settings the most, I think.[0:07:44]   I like settings.[0:07:46]   I really, really enjoy that.[0:07:48]   I got to know more about PlayStation VR stuff[0:07:51]   because I cannot wait to figure out[0:07:54]   what are they going to tell?[0:07:55]   And this is what I want to know today.[0:07:58]   Can I not do PlayStation VR porn[0:08:01]   on the PlayStation version of this thing?[0:08:03]   I'm seriously asking.[0:08:06]   Because I guarantee, oh, no, you can't even[0:08:08]   do any of that stuff with it.[0:08:09]   And then what do you do?[0:08:10]   You got to buy a Quest 2, something like that.[0:08:15]   You might need a different system for that.[0:08:18]   OK.[0:08:19]   They've been calling you Megamind all week online.[0:08:21]   Is this what's going on?[0:08:22]   Yeah.[0:08:23]   Why are you guys calling her Megamind?[0:08:25]   It's my new nickname.[0:08:26]   I don't like that at all.[0:08:28]   But let me know everything I could do with this.[0:08:30]   I'm telling you, if they get this porn down right,[0:08:33]   I mean, that's going to be it.[0:08:34]   I'm not a porn.[0:08:35]   I hate porn.[0:08:38]   But I would like to see what it's like in VR alone.[0:08:42]   OK.[0:08:43]   And another good thing about VR is you're just out of it.[0:08:46]   You don't have to listen to nobody when you're in VR.[0:08:48]   You can do whatever you want.[0:08:49]   You got a little pass-through button.[0:08:51]   I go like this.[0:08:52]   See right through in black and white.[0:08:54]   It's very, very emotional for me.[0:08:57]   I was going to bring the helmet.[0:08:58]   It opened the show here today, wearing it[0:09:01]   with the little controllers to show you guys.[0:09:03]   I figure you guys get a kick out of me[0:09:05]   doing like real people stuff, like games,[0:09:09]   like last week when somebody heard me even mention[0:09:13]   Hogwarts or a spot that they lit up.[0:09:16]   So that's all I'm trying to do here is just trying[0:09:19]   to relate to you guys.[0:09:21]   Show you I'm a human being as well and not just some hike.[0:09:26]   Well, we've got an excellent show for you.[0:09:28]   You've got to play Resident Evil, Nick.[0:09:32]   Too scary.[0:09:33]   Too scary.[0:09:34]   But I want to know, do I need a mod?[0:09:35]   Oh, by the way, Gran Torino, I'm downloading the steering wheel.[0:09:39]   I got a hole.[0:09:40]   You should see what I'm looking into buying.[0:09:42]   $2,000, kiddo.[0:09:44]   It's a whole setup with a gaming chair and a steering[0:09:47]   wheel and a shifter, spring loaded pedals, a clutch.[0:09:52]   I'm turning our whole living room[0:09:54]   into an Aladdin's castle, which is an arcade in Vernon Hills,[0:10:03]   Illinois, in 1996.[0:10:05]   Someone says they're making a motherless open world.[0:10:08]   OK, but the mother, you know, you're[0:10:10]   going to shame me off the dang show[0:10:13]   before we even get started.[0:10:19]   I look like something.[0:10:20]   I look like a fishing lure for Tim Dylan.[0:10:23]   You know, if you want to catch Tim Dylan,[0:10:24]   you put me on the end of a hook and throw it his way.[0:10:29]   Oh, OK.[0:10:30]   Well, we've got an excellent show for everyone here today.[0:10:32]   I'm dying for my first drink.[0:10:33]   I'm dying to show you all the secrets[0:10:35]   that I've unlocked this week.[0:10:37]   By week, I mean 12 days.[0:10:40]   And 12 is a weird number here because when[0:10:43]   we were talking to Hella Mark Harley a few episodes back,[0:10:46]   I had told him that I had gained five pounds of what's[0:10:51]   called lean muscle mass.[0:10:55]   And I'll tell you this, without, and Jules, never,[0:10:58]   and I'm pre-warning you here, never blurt out my weight.[0:11:02]   It's none of their business.[0:11:04]   OK.[0:11:06]   They're never going to know the weight,[0:11:07]   but they will know, you know, how high,[0:11:10]   like how many pounds we've added, you know,[0:11:13]   but they won't know the original weight.[0:11:15]   I'll tell you this.[0:11:17]   I've started logging my weight in November, November 5th.[0:11:21]   And what is the date here today?[0:11:23]   March 2nd.[0:11:26]   Is that four months?[0:11:27]   Jules?[0:11:28]   I think so.[0:11:29]   Yeah.[0:11:30]   So November 5th to March 2nd.[0:11:32]   It's just about four months.[0:11:33]   Guess what I've gained?[0:11:35]   12.2 pounds of lean muscle mass right on schedule.[0:11:42]   If you Google how many pounds of muscle could I gain in four[0:11:46]   months, it'll say, believe it or not,[0:11:50]   you could gain anywhere from 12 to 15 pounds in four months[0:11:55]   if doing it all perfect.[0:11:57]   So what does that tell you?[0:11:59]   And I'm using a very good scale.[0:12:01]   I'm weighing myself three times a day.[0:12:03]   How does it feel to be perfect?[0:12:05]   It's getting good.[0:12:06]   It's going to get exciting.[0:12:08]   I'm sure something will come along and put a stop to this.[0:12:11]   You know, that's my biggest fear.[0:12:12]   Now all this work,[0:12:13]   four months of putting in all this work and then something's[0:12:17]   going to happen and it's going to erase all the work I've put in.[0:12:20]   I can't rest.[0:12:21]   I can't have a day where I'm just happy and chilling.[0:12:25]   Cause I go, something's going to happen.[0:12:27]   I'm going to twist my arm.[0:12:28]   I'm going to get sick again.[0:12:30]   Something's going to happen.[0:12:31]   And then it's all going to go away.[0:12:33]   And what a shame.[0:12:34]   They should have something where you could hit save or something,[0:12:37]   do something to save it.[0:12:38]   You just bought this stupid ass thing where you like,[0:12:40]   straps it up.[0:12:41]   No, that is not a stupid ass thing.[0:12:43]   This is the Demus Iron Neck Trainer.[0:12:48]   Not the one Joe Rogan, you know,[0:12:49]   I see people all the time post Joe Rogan.[0:12:52]   You ever seen Joe Rogan wearing a UFO on his head going?[0:12:55]   And they go, look at this crap that he's selling this scam.[0:12:59]   It's not a scam.[0:13:00]   The iron neck is a great price.[0:13:02]   I don't have the iron neck.[0:13:03]   I've got the $22 Demus neck harness.[0:13:07]   You should see me.[0:13:08]   I got this here, pull it up,[0:13:09]   find the Demus neck harness to show people it's all strapped in.[0:13:14]   I got a head strap and then I get these two big chains or one chain,[0:13:18]   but it hooks on both ears.[0:13:20]   So it looks like two chains.[0:13:21]   And then I put a seven pound of weight around the chain.[0:13:27]   And I sit there in the chair and I go all day, all night.[0:13:34]   It's neck trim.[0:13:35]   I want my neck to be like this coming from my ears to here.[0:13:41]   I've been sculpted what I want to be.[0:13:43]   Imagine this.[0:13:44]   Hey, hey, what are you looking at?[0:13:46]   Hey stop right there.[0:13:47]   You'd be fucking terrified.[0:13:49]   I learned what makes people scared.[0:13:51]   It's huge neck.[0:13:53]   So I'm doing just neck and shrugs four to five days a week,[0:13:57]   two hours a session.[0:13:59]   So I'll do like for my workout, I'll start off.[0:14:02]   This is all just nonsense for my workout.[0:14:05]   I'll do about an hour and a half of just shrugs.[0:14:08]   And then I'll switch to about three, four hours of the neck.[0:14:12]   We'll show you that when we do our rise.[0:14:15]   OK, should we have our first drink to a song or two?[0:14:18]   Sure.[0:14:19]   Not Henry Rollins.[0:14:20]   Bigger than that.[0:14:21]   You know, I saw Hella Mark Harley has really inspired me.[0:14:24]   And I want to ask him, too, how to shred.[0:14:28]   I don't know if anybody's noticing,[0:14:29]   but I'm getting kind of chubby as well.[0:14:32]   I think so.[0:14:34]   I've got about this much little fat on my tummy.[0:14:37]   And I feel like my cheeks are getting too faggedy again.[0:14:40]   So I got to learn how to shred.[0:14:43]   Right now I'm in the bulk stage of my life[0:14:45]   here where I'm trying to bulk up.[0:14:47]   OK, but there is going to be a cutting time coming up[0:14:50]   very soon because I'm going to a pool in a few weeks,[0:14:53]   going to a swimming pool.[0:14:55]   So I want to be completely cut, you know,[0:14:59]   and accentuate all the scars and scabs that I have.[0:15:02]   It's going to be wonderful.[0:15:03]   And thank you for all the kind encouragement[0:15:05]   that I haven't gotten from anyone ever.[0:15:10]   Except for Hella Mark Harley is the only person[0:15:12]   encouraging me here.[0:15:13]   Everybody else is giving up.[0:15:16]   All right.[0:15:17]   Let's do our first drink.[0:15:18]   We've got a red bar song somebody wrote.[0:15:20]   Would you like to hear this?[0:15:21]   A rap song about red bar.[0:15:22]   Remember rap?[0:15:23]   Yes.[0:15:24]   Yes.[0:15:25]   You know, rap music means very little to me now,[0:15:27]   which is so funny.[0:15:28]   You know, rap was invented right here, Jules,[0:15:33]   in America, in New York City.[0:15:36]   Did you know that?[0:15:37]   And rap was pretty much invented while I was alive.[0:15:41]   Right.[0:15:42]   You know, like I was born.[0:15:44]   Then rap came out.[0:15:46]   So I've been there through the beginning of rap.[0:15:49]   Right.[0:15:50]   Pretty much.[0:15:51]   Okay.[0:15:52]   Yes.[0:15:53]   I didn't meet like,[0:15:54]   T.[0:15:55]   Queen.[0:15:56]   Or some shit.[0:15:57]   To me, rap started with a group called the Beastie Boy.[0:16:00]   And that's it.[0:16:01]   I wasn't listening to Black.[0:16:03]   No, I mean, when I was a kid,[0:16:05]   I think the first rap I ever listened to was Hammer.[0:16:08]   And then the second rap was Sir Mix-a-Lot.[0:16:11]   Well, they would play that on the white radio.[0:16:13]   So I'm listening to white radio and I'm going,[0:16:15]   oh, these songs are pretty cool.[0:16:16]   And then it's,[0:16:18]   Can't Touch This.[0:16:19]   You know, and it went,[0:16:20]   doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo.[0:16:23]   That's how my mom did it.[0:16:24]   I was always so embarrassed.[0:16:26]   When my mom would try to hum it,[0:16:28]   Can't Touch This, she would go,[0:16:29]   doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo.[0:16:32]   And I go, no, that's not the beat.[0:16:34]   I was taken to an MC Hammer concert.[0:16:37]   This is true.[0:16:38]   It was one of my first concerts as well.[0:16:40]   My uncle worked for this record company.[0:16:42]   And he took us backstage.[0:16:44]   I met Hammer.[0:16:46]   I knew two songs at the concert.[0:16:48]   Two songs.[0:16:49]   But I met Hammer and that's how I got into rap.[0:16:51]   And then I've been listening to rap ever since.[0:16:54]   But over this last two years or so,[0:16:59]   rap has become kind of just foolish nonsense.[0:17:04]   Isn't that true?[0:17:05]   When I hear somebody rap, I go,[0:17:07]   this isn't rap.[0:17:08]   It's C-Rap.[0:17:10]   Crap.[0:17:11]   Crap.[0:17:14]   And it's kind of really dumb.[0:17:16]   And I wonder, this is what I wonder about rap.[0:17:19]   Because it wasn't around forever, right?[0:17:21]   It was born around my, when I was born.[0:17:23]   What if rap just stops?[0:17:25]   What if it just can't make it?[0:17:27]   What if it can't go any further?[0:17:29]   What if this is all that rap is?[0:17:31]   And then there it is and bye.[0:17:34]   And then it's just a bunch of losers, of course,[0:17:36]   doing it like Logic, of course.[0:17:37]   Oh, Logic's new album is so great.[0:17:39]   This is what people,[0:17:40]   he's bought the bots, by the way, to say this.[0:17:43]   If you go on Reddit, if you go on Twitter,[0:17:46]   which I don't even know why we're listening[0:17:48]   to people online anymore.[0:17:52]   Imagine this, if you're typing something online,[0:17:54]   why would it be something that's probably okay[0:17:57]   for normal people like me to read?[0:18:01]   It just doesn't even seem right.[0:18:03]   We're taking cues from,[0:18:04]   we're reading most stuff is from just kids.[0:18:07]   We're basing everything in life[0:18:09]   on just what kids think online, which is cool.[0:18:14]   Pretty cool.[0:18:15]   But everywhere you go now,[0:18:16]   they're saying Logic's album is the best.[0:18:18]   He's finally back.[0:18:20]   Throw me on the new Logic album, Jules.[0:18:22]   Put that on Spotify.[0:18:24]   Just throw Trek one,[0:18:25]   because I'll tell you, he ain't back.[0:18:27]   Logic baby ugly.[0:18:30]   And Logic's been doing a lot.[0:18:31]   You know, Logic claims he's half black, half white.[0:18:33]   I really don't think-[0:18:34]   Should I play track one or the most popular song?[0:18:36]   The most popular, let's hear it.[0:18:38]   Because he claims he's back.[0:18:40]   I'll tell you, this music is going nowhere.[0:18:42]   Yeah, here it is.[0:18:46]   They're all yelling, finally, he's back.[0:18:48]   Let's see.[0:18:49]   Was that you?[0:18:50]   Yeah.[0:18:51]   No.[0:18:52]   Don't interrupt the music.[0:18:54]   There he is, Logic baby ugly.[0:18:56]   And he's very poor.[0:18:58]   You should see his house.[0:18:59]   Very poor.[0:19:00]   He lives in one of those,[0:19:01]   Oh, he wakes up every day.[0:19:05]   Listen to this.[0:19:06]   This is the most popular song.[0:19:22]   Okay, you got to say something else.[0:19:32]   It's terrible, it's terrible.[0:19:34]   I don't know what's going on.[0:19:35]   So what's going on?[0:19:35]   I think what happens is with all these people[0:19:37]   who still think they like rap,[0:19:40]   they're just kind of like hoping and wishing.[0:19:44]   And then maybe it reminds them of something[0:19:46]   from the distant past.[0:19:48]   I would say rap's pretty much over.[0:19:51]   I don't know.[0:19:52]   I mean, I would just say that it's over.[0:19:54]   But you thought rap was over until.[0:19:56]   Until, yes, a listener made us a rap.[0:19:59]   Remember these and this is what's gonna be[0:20:01]   our drinking song today to start the show[0:20:03]   to get the fuel into the show here.[0:20:08]   And it was a rap that someone made.[0:20:09]   And you know what?[0:20:10]   I like a cringe rap, right?[0:20:13]   Okay, I like a rap that's very corny and goofy.[0:20:17]   And that's what this is.[0:20:19]   And we're gonna give this band the floor today.[0:20:21]   He's got a SoundCloud song that he sent to me.[0:20:23]   I'm gonna have to access this immediately.[0:20:26]   Like as soon as I open this link,[0:20:27]   it's gonna start playing.[0:20:28]   Cause SoundCloud, have you seen this?[0:20:30]   Is that what it's called?[0:20:31]   SoundCloud?[0:20:33]   They have a wave form, a toxic wave form,[0:20:36]   I like to call it.[0:20:37]   And you click the link,[0:20:38]   this song's gonna start playing automatically.[0:20:41]   If you wanna go back,[0:20:42]   you gotta try to scroll back the wave form,[0:20:45]   which starts auto play.[0:20:46]   It's a mess.[0:20:47]   So as soon as I hit this button, we're drinking.[0:20:50]   Okay, so have your first drink with me[0:20:53]   and we're gonna do all this together.[0:20:53]   Be ready.[0:20:54]   Listen to the song, be ready to rock.[0:20:58]   Where is it Jules?[0:20:59]   Cause I don't even know.[0:21:00]   I can't see it.[0:21:00]   It's at the top.[0:21:01]   Listener's song, Red Bar's Watching.[0:21:07]   What will this be about?[0:21:09]   Let's take it away.[0:21:10]   It's by Jake Lee.[0:21:12]   Jake Lee, see what I said?[0:21:13]   You gotta go.[0:21:14]   Welcome to Red Bar, everybody.[0:21:17]   Let's have our first drink.[0:21:20]   Red Bar's watching, Red Bar's watching.[0:21:23]   Shouting at the stage and there ain't no stopping.[0:21:25]   Red Bar's watching, Red Bar's watching.[0:21:28]   Fuck Triple E, get his blood vessels poppin'.[0:21:30]   Sam Triple E thinks he's slaying the game.[0:21:32]   Spitting lies out his mouth cause he's making the claim.[0:21:35]   Two years sober, but he's faking his brain.[0:21:37]   Sam Triple E.[0:21:38]   Filled to the brim with amphetamine, man.[0:21:40]   Oh my God, dude, what did they do?[0:21:42]   Did they say mean words about you and your crew?[0:21:44]   You worry about Red Bar looking at you?[0:21:46]   Why do words hurt you more than jujitsu?[0:21:49]   Speaking of, it's Eddie Bravo.[0:21:52]   Picking on the nerds, but the threats are hollow.[0:21:54]   Talk real talk, but then call the cops.[0:21:56]   All them heads to the head, now your mind is jumbled.[0:21:59]   Come on, Sam, why you act so crazy?[0:22:01]   And why'd you have babies with an old ass lady?[0:22:04]   Birth defects, got your kids looking zany.[0:22:06]   The retards, dude, why you think they're amazing?[0:22:08]   Just hazing, I'm only saying that the kids you're raising[0:22:12]   seem to be mutated.[0:22:13]   Oh.[0:22:14]   Yeah, I know you hate.[0:22:15]   Mostly about Sam Triple E's two kids, which is off limits.[0:22:20]   I've heard a lot about this week[0:22:22]   that once you start talking about somebody's family,[0:22:25]   that's where most lines are drawn in this world.[0:22:29]   You can say whatever you want,[0:22:31]   but you talk about my family and that's where.[0:22:34]   I don't know, I don't know if that's true.[0:22:35]   We're gonna try this here.[0:22:36]   I'm gonna play you the rest of that song.[0:22:38]   I wanted to take a break because I saw this at the store.[0:22:40]   This is the dumbest thing I've ever bought.[0:22:43]   Jack Daniels, Tennessee Apple.[0:22:46]   For those of you listening,[0:22:47]   I took a regular shot of the Jim Beam at first,[0:22:50]   but then I thought,[0:22:52]   it's a Scars Club episode after all, why not act rich?[0:22:57]   So I got this Jack Daniels, Tennessee Apple.[0:23:00]   I'm trying to open it here.[0:23:01]   It's got a child lock.[0:23:04]   And then we're gonna try this.[0:23:05]   You know why I got this, Jules?[0:23:07]   Why?[0:23:08]   Because yesterday on Go Puff, they said no.[0:23:12]   And I love that.[0:23:13]   I like when a food app says no,[0:23:15]   and it's got something new for me.[0:23:17]   You know what Go Puff is?[0:23:18]   It's like you could order candy and drinks and stuff.[0:23:23]   It's Go Puff and they got a no in your town.[0:23:26]   And they had some whiskey.[0:23:29]   I don't know the brand.[0:23:30]   I've never seen the brand before, but it said whiskey,[0:23:33]   green apple, green apple whiskey.[0:23:37]   And I said, you know what?[0:23:37]   I really am a green apple guy.[0:23:42]   I don't think a lot of people know that about me,[0:23:43]   but green apple, the kid's candy flavor[0:23:47]   is one of my favorites.[0:23:48]   So I found this today, Jack Daniels, Tennessee Apple.[0:23:51]   It's got a green label.[0:23:54]   Our resident wizard says,[0:23:56]   oh, Mike, you're gonna have the hangover of the century.[0:24:00]   Is that just-[0:24:01]   What does the wizard know about partying?[0:24:03]   Is that a prediction that you saw?[0:24:05]   Why don't you wave your wand over my little pee pee[0:24:08]   and make me feel better, whizzy.[0:24:11]   I'm only having one of these as a taste test[0:24:14]   and we'll play the song and I'll let you know.[0:24:15]   You know what?[0:24:16]   I'll take this drink in silence.[0:24:18]   We actually have a real wizard that listens to the show.[0:24:20]   He's dedicated his life to this belief[0:24:23]   that he is a wizard and I believe he is a wizard.[0:24:25]   So do I.[0:24:26]   And that's the guy we were talking about.[0:24:28]   Cheers, everybody.[0:24:29]   Let's try this green apple.[0:24:31]   Ooh, the hangover of my life coming up from the wizard.[0:24:34]   Really, he's been there.[0:24:37]   Party wizard.[0:24:41]   Ooh, the wizard was right.[0:24:43]   I am hungover as fuck.[0:24:46]   The wizard was right.[0:24:47]   If you drink that, you're fucked.[0:24:50]   It's so syrupy.[0:24:52]   It's good.[0:24:54]   We'll only do 12 of them.[0:24:56]   All right, here's the rest of the song.[0:24:57]   It's been about Sam Tripple so far.[0:24:59]   Deal with the dog, you deserve the basement.[0:25:01]   Red bar, baby, we the chosen few.[0:25:04]   Running down leads like what's new with you.[0:25:06]   You're being terrorized by a Joe and his crew[0:25:08]   and they're scrutinizing every single thing that you do.[0:25:11]   You don't care about your kids when you're drug abuse[0:25:13]   and you ain't a role model so you're raising two young girls[0:25:16]   with daddy issues and the homies would use them[0:25:18]   as nut rags and they'll toss them out for a new one.[0:25:21]   Red bar's watching, red bar's watching.[0:25:22]   It's just a song and someone said it.[0:25:24]   What the fuck are you, hawking?[0:25:25]   Red bar's watching, red bar's watching.[0:25:28]   You ain't an alpha male if you like tranny cocksucking.[0:25:31]   Oh, thank you so much, Jake Lee.[0:25:35]   And hey, listen, if you got a rap in your head,[0:25:37]   please write it, they will be played.[0:25:40]   Doesn't matter how good that is.[0:25:42]   I had a boyfriend in high school named Jake Lee.[0:25:44]   I wonder if that's him.[0:25:45]   Oh, did you, did you suck his cock or eat his ass ever?[0:25:50]   Did you fuck him up the ass?[0:25:54]   So, I'm sorry about that, Jules.[0:25:58]   I was gonna tell people something, go, yeah,[0:26:00]   we've got two active contests going[0:26:02]   and I wanted to let everybody know,[0:26:04]   cause I haven't been responding to anybody.[0:26:06]   We've gotten a ton of submissions[0:26:08]   for two contests that we're running.[0:26:10]   We're running a sticker contest to see who could create[0:26:14]   the most kick ass, red bar's watching,[0:26:18]   sticker design, yeah.[0:26:21]   And we've gotten hundreds and hundreds[0:26:23]   and hundreds of submissions.[0:26:26]   We're not replying, so if you emailed us, we got it.[0:26:29]   Don't worry.[0:26:31]   And a lot of your submissions were thrown[0:26:33]   right in the trash, right in the trash.[0:26:35]   I mean, the ones, you know, what I'll do[0:26:37]   is they come into my email, I'll forward them over to Jules.[0:26:41]   There's been a lot I haven't forwarded you.[0:26:42]   We got a lot of retards watching this show,[0:26:46]   straight up retards.[0:26:49]   I don't know if they're joking.[0:26:50]   I mean, some people will, you know, they'll take a pencil,[0:26:53]   they'll draw like a squiggly line[0:26:55]   and then they'll, I can't even tell you.[0:26:58]   I had one, let me see if I can show you this guy[0:27:02]   to give you an example.[0:27:03]   And he even got mad at me.[0:27:05]   And remember, nobody's trolling.[0:27:07]   People don't troll.[0:27:08]   I wish people trolled.[0:27:09]   Nobody's creative enough to troll anymore.[0:27:13]   It's either a mad yelling at you[0:27:16]   or nothing.[0:27:18]   There's no trolling.[0:27:20]   People are just very angry.[0:27:22]   So let me show you what I got here.[0:27:24]   Let's see if I could find this.[0:27:25]   I got so much good clips for you guys today too.[0:27:28]   You're very lucky to be here.[0:27:30]   And I thank you for being here on this Scars Club episode[0:27:33]   while I try to find this one example.[0:27:36]   And I felt so bad for this guy.[0:27:40]   Is it this guy?[0:27:41]   Get yourself one of those.[0:27:42]   I gotta find you this.[0:27:43]   I'm sorry, it's gonna take two seconds.[0:27:45]   Jules, why don't you put on some background music[0:27:46]   or something for me so I don't feel so stupid, okay?[0:27:50]   Just anything you could find there to lighten up the mood[0:27:54]   so I don't feel so completely embarrassed.[0:27:57]   And you can turn that up all the way.[0:27:59]   Yeah, it could be all the way.[0:28:00]   Oh, I love this song.[0:28:01]   Thank you.[0:28:03]   There you go.[0:28:04]   What's the matter with your life?[0:28:05]   Let me find this thing.[0:28:07]   I'll just be a second.[0:28:08]   Don't keep sweating what I do[0:28:10]   cause I'm gonna be just fine.[0:28:12]   Check it out if I wanna take a guy home with me tonight.[0:28:16]   It's none of your business.[0:28:17]   And if she wanna be a freak and sell it on a weekend.[0:28:21]   It's none of your business.[0:28:22]   Now you know just what you've been getting into.[0:28:24]   Who I'm giving skins to.[0:28:26]   It's none of your business.[0:28:27]   Lower that.[0:28:28]   Look what this, oh, I gotta do a rise to do it.[0:28:30]   Should we do a rise?[0:28:32]   Let's do that first.[0:28:35]   Sonics War Show, here we go.[0:28:37]   Welcome everybody to Red Fire.[0:28:38]   Let's do a rise.[0:28:39]   Got nothing to do then worry about my friends.[0:28:42]   Rise, rise.[0:28:43]   There you go.[0:28:45]   Go buddy, go.[0:28:46]   You can do it.[0:28:49]   Rise, rise, rise.[0:28:53]   The TV is coming up from the floor[0:29:00]   for a rise.[0:29:03]   We hope we get a rise out of here today.[0:29:05]   There we go.[0:29:10]   Hold on.[0:29:11]   What's wrong with the world mama.[0:29:19]   People living like man.[0:29:22]   No, it doesn't work.[0:29:23]   Okay, here it is.[0:29:25]   She was the one telling me.[0:29:26]   She goes, you should sing what's wrong with the world.[0:29:28]   Nah, it's never gonna work.[0:29:30]   Okay, let me show you this.[0:29:32]   This is what was sent to me.[0:29:33]   I'll read you the message first.[0:29:35]   And I got like a hundred of these.[0:29:37]   They go right in the garbage.[0:29:40]   Seriously, right in the garbage because you can't do this.[0:29:45]   So first of all,[0:29:45]   if I gave a missed audio call from you on Facebook,[0:29:49]   I'm furious with you.[0:29:51]   If anybody tries to audio call me,[0:29:53]   I mean, that could be the most invasive thing[0:29:56]   you could do to me is start doing a video call[0:29:59]   from Instagram or I can't believe they even allow this.[0:30:03]   You've got me, the host of this giant show, a celeb.[0:30:07]   I'm sitting at home and just like you could call me,[0:30:13]   just like I'm getting a real call.[0:30:15]   I mean, what is the difference[0:30:17]   between calling me on my phone[0:30:19]   and calling me through Facebook Messenger?[0:30:21]   It lights up my phone.[0:30:22]   It starts ringing.[0:30:23]   And if I accidentally pick up, you might see me naked.[0:30:29]   I think I'm putting out a new rule.[0:30:32]   If I get a ring, if it's a butt,[0:30:34]   and this is what usually happens.[0:30:35]   Ring, ring, ring.[0:30:36]   What the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck?[0:30:40]   And then you'll get, sorry, my sign did a, yeah, right.[0:30:46]   Or you'll get this, sorry, butt dial.[0:30:50]   Oh yeah, cause I always keep my phone in my back pocket[0:30:52]   walking around like a, and that's fine.[0:30:57]   But some people do think, oh, I was calling a talk.[0:31:00]   I wanted to see how you were.[0:31:02]   So here's the new rule.[0:31:03]   If I get a call from you, even if it's a butt dial,[0:31:08]   you're gonna be put on restrict.[0:31:12]   It cannot happen.[0:31:13]   I can't even believe they allow this.[0:31:15]   And you can't turn it off.[0:31:17]   You could only turn it off for individual people.[0:31:20]   That's crazy, crazy.[0:31:24]   So this guy missed audio call from him.[0:31:26]   His name is Chris.[0:31:28]   And this, yeah, this is perfect.[0:31:30]   Look at what he sends me.[0:31:31]   And stop with all the beeping and vibrating.[0:31:33]   My whole body is a haptic touch.[0:31:36]   My whole body is constantly vibrating and beeping.[0:31:40]   Okay, here it is.[0:31:42]   This is what he sends me.[0:31:43]   Maybe you guys can help me out[0:31:44]   cause I was rather cruel to this person.[0:31:46]   This is the sticker contest.[0:31:48]   Look at this.[0:31:51]   This is it.[0:31:54]   I like this.[0:31:55]   This is the fucking contest.[0:31:58]   Here, Mike, and I'll tell you, this gets worse.[0:32:00]   Watch this.[0:32:02]   Let me pull it over.[0:32:03]   I don't want to expose any private information.[0:32:04]   So let me read his chat here.[0:32:06]   Let's see this.[0:32:08]   He says this to me.[0:32:11]   Oh, he goes, sorry, I can't cut it out,[0:32:14]   but this is the vision.[0:32:18]   He's gonna-[0:32:19]   And I write back.[0:32:20]   I said, what's this question mark?[0:32:23]   He writes back, red bars watching submission.[0:32:27]   I write, all I see is a bunch of scribbles.[0:32:31]   And then he does the thumbs up, Facebook thumbs up.[0:32:34]   And then he writes, I guess it's a fool's first person[0:32:38]   who knows red bar is watching kinda[0:32:41]   and abstract interpretation of the constant watch[0:32:46]   and death of the ego from the fool.[0:32:49]   If you don't like it, that's fine.[0:32:51]   It's a submission and deserves criticism and critique[0:32:53]   because I didn't scribble anything for the piece.[0:32:58]   So I go, all I see is a bunch of scribbles.[0:33:00]   And he goes, I didn't scribble anything for the piece.[0:33:05]   This is a joke.[0:33:06]   That's a funny, funny, funny, funny, funny, funny, funny[0:33:08]   joke, but it's not a joke.[0:33:10]   It's a psychosis.[0:33:11]   And I get a lot of these psych psych.[0:33:14]   I go, send it in.[0:33:15]   That's what I said.[0:33:16]   He says this, look, if you don't like it, that's fine.[0:33:19]   It's a submission and it deserves criticism and critique[0:33:22]   because I didn't scribble anything for the piece.[0:33:25]   I go, send it in.[0:33:27]   He didn't scribble anything for the piece.[0:33:29]   Well, let's take a look.[0:33:31]   Yes, of course.[0:33:31]   Cause I haven't even really examined this fully here.[0:33:36]   This is what he sent me.[0:33:40]   Okay. It says a guy who loses.[0:33:42]   Oh, there's writing.[0:33:43]   A guy who loses.[0:33:44]   See to me, that's not writing.[0:33:46]   To me, if it's not in a tape,[0:33:50]   I don't know how to read that.[0:33:52]   Not me.[0:33:53]   The guy who loses his earbuds wireless.[0:33:56]   Okay.[0:33:57]   I'm the person experience what I do one days later.[0:34:04]   Yeah.[0:34:06]   Two days later, I plan then and then he goes crazy there.[0:34:11]   I like it.[0:34:12]   The cheers of not her purse.[0:34:14]   I mean, really, this is just unacceptable to send to me.[0:34:18]   I mean, you're not supposed to understand art.[0:34:20]   The second.[0:34:21]   This is insane.[0:34:23]   And this person should be watched.[0:34:24]   He should be committed.[0:34:25]   You know how many people I get?[0:34:27]   I get tons of stuff like this.[0:34:28]   We, you know what we should do have the worst stuff,[0:34:31]   but don't submit on purpose.[0:34:32]   I know which ones are real.[0:34:34]   Maybe the very best should win the contest[0:34:37]   and also the very worst.[0:34:40]   No, cause then people will try.[0:34:42]   So what we're here to tell you is that the contest[0:34:45]   is still open for one more episode.[0:34:49]   So you have from here to the next episode.[0:34:51]   I think on the next episode, we're closing this up.[0:34:53]   We're going to choose the winner.[0:34:55]   I can't tell you how disappointing it's been[0:34:58]   going to my email every day.[0:34:59]   Oh, contest submission.[0:35:01]   It says, oh, I see the fucking paperclip.[0:35:04]   Ooh, we got a good one.[0:35:05]   And I can't wait at the red bars,[0:35:07]   watching sticker submission.[0:35:09]   I click on it.[0:35:10]   I wait about 10 seconds to download your ginormous TIFF file[0:35:14]   that you've attached.[0:35:16]   And then it'll be something like this or just, you know,[0:35:19]   like a cartoon of me looking like a Keebler elf[0:35:23]   or some other nonsense.[0:35:25]   Well, that's mean.[0:35:25]   I think so many people just decided to,[0:35:29]   and here's another one that it's never ever[0:35:32]   going to be a sticker where you go to my Instagram[0:35:36]   and you sloppily cut me out of a thumbnail[0:35:39]   and then just like cartoonize me with an effect.[0:35:44]   That's insane.[0:35:46]   We were talking about, if you're a graphic designer,[0:35:50]   send in a sticker, not,[0:35:52]   hey, do you have two hands and can try a computer out?[0:35:56]   No.[0:35:57]   Hey, anyone can enter.[0:35:58]   They can, but listen, I'm telling you hundreds[0:36:03]   and hundreds of people who just want that thousand[0:36:07]   just taking a chance, thinking maybe Mike will like it.[0:36:10]   I mean, it's just a picture of me with like a stick figure[0:36:13]   of me with a crooked face.[0:36:15]   I wait till you see some of these[0:36:17]   and we're going to be showing you these.[0:36:18]   But there's many, many very cool ones.[0:36:20]   Of course, yes, yes, yes.[0:36:21]   But the show talking about cool stuff[0:36:23]   is not funny or cool.[0:36:26]   Oh yeah.[0:36:27]   I like talking about negativo.[0:36:29]   And we'll show you this.[0:36:30]   Joe Rogan thinks being negative isn't funny, I disagree.[0:36:35]   So we'll show you this.[0:36:36]   And that was to say that the contest is open[0:36:39]   for one more episode wait,[0:36:41]   and then we're going to choose on the next episode.[0:36:43]   You probably got about 10 more days here[0:36:45]   and you could submit your entry to Mike at Red Bar Radio.[0:36:49]   It doesn't matter.[0:36:50]   Any at redbarradio.net will get to me.[0:36:53]   So don't worry, you've sent it.[0:36:55]   And I wanted to say that, yes, we're not replying to these.[0:36:59]   So you don't need to send it three times.[0:37:02]   And then we're also doing the light news jingle.[0:37:07]   You know, this was a segment we used to do on the show[0:37:09]   a lot called light news.[0:37:10]   People want it back.[0:37:11]   I said, I'll bring it back if we have an opening jingle,[0:37:15]   you know, a nice opening jingle.[0:37:17]   And we've got some great ones.[0:37:18]   Some of you musicians really went to town on this.[0:37:22]   Yes, there was a couple I listened to yesterday.[0:37:24]   That were really great.[0:37:25]   And that contest is still open too until the next episode.[0:37:28]   And you could send all those to any name.[0:37:30]   You could even write nigger at red,[0:37:33]   I'm really sorry for saying that.[0:37:34]   If you're in an office,[0:37:35]   I'm sure that's very negative for your office to hear.[0:37:39]   See like now people are going,[0:37:40]   now I'm worried my song submission.[0:37:42]   No, no, no, no, no, no, no.[0:37:44]   Does your song submission a bunch of scribbles like that?[0:37:47]   If your shit looks like that, then worry.[0:37:49]   Yes.[0:37:50]   Worry about everything.[0:37:53]   I'd like to use that pencil on you.[0:37:57]   But yeah, don't worry.[0:37:59]   If you're a retard, then yes, worry.[0:38:01]   I liked it.[0:38:02]   Worry because if you are a retard, then worry.[0:38:05]   He just doesn't get it.[0:38:06]   It's amazing how many people don't know[0:38:07]   how they're just a full retard.[0:38:10]   I don't really think you should talk to me about that.[0:38:13]   Okay, well then I apologize.[0:38:15]   Listen, we love the submissions.[0:38:17]   And even the bad, it's not like I'm really mad.[0:38:20]   The more the merrier, the worse, the better.[0:38:24]   You know, I just hope they don't think[0:38:27]   they're all getting like a consolation prize.[0:38:29]   Like you just take a pencil and go like this.[0:38:32]   Saying, I get some money.[0:38:34]   No, you're not getting any money from me[0:38:36]   unless you're the winner or a runner up.[0:38:40]   Or you know what?[0:38:41]   Maybe we will give the biggest retard a prize too.[0:38:44]   I mean, they deserve one.[0:38:48]   Still the best at something.[0:38:49]   How about we do this?[0:38:50]   We take the worst one.[0:38:52]   And then we have like 75 people all call the police on them[0:38:56]   at the same time and say that they're crazy.[0:38:59]   And we have them taken.[0:39:01]   We have them taken away.[0:39:03]   Well, that's the prize.[0:39:04]   You get to go into a mental institution[0:39:07]   while awaiting trial.[0:39:09]   And we all swear, solemnly swear that you did something.[0:39:14]   So yeah, how about that?[0:39:15]   You want to mess with my contest and send me this crap?[0:39:18]   The worst one.[0:39:20]   I'll get 75 different people to all lie to the cops[0:39:24]   and we'll tell them that you're gonna kill a bunch of kids.[0:39:28]   We'll see how far you go in jail with your art.[0:39:31]   No, I'm kidding.[0:39:32]   You can't scare the retards either.[0:39:34]   Cause they'll write that up on the T-FAC Reddit.[0:39:38]   They'll tell everybody that that's what's going on.[0:39:40]   Yes, they're very mad at us right now.[0:39:41]   Dude, he takes 75 people[0:39:43]   and he tells them that the cops or something.[0:39:47]   I wanted to apologize to all the subreddits[0:39:50]   of the world out there.[0:39:51]   Cause I just wanted to say something[0:39:53]   and this isn't me being sarcastic.[0:39:55]   See a lot of people only see clips.[0:39:57]   That's why we say on the website,[0:39:58]   you got to give it a year.[0:40:00]   Okay. A good year.[0:40:03]   And that's not a joke.[0:40:04]   You know, like if you've watched every episode of Redbar[0:40:08]   for one year and you still hate it,[0:40:11]   fine.[0:40:13]   But if you haven't given it a year,[0:40:14]   how could you possibly know if it sucks or not?[0:40:19]   So give it a year, come back[0:40:22]   and you can never be mad at somebody[0:40:25]   who hasn't given it a year.[0:40:27]   You know, what are they to know?[0:40:29]   All they've seen is a bunch of clips of me distorted[0:40:32]   and I blame the Clippers for this.[0:40:33]   You know that T-FAC subreddit,[0:40:36]   they've only seen distorted clips from the Clippers.[0:40:38]   They probably hate the show because of the pixelation,[0:40:42]   because of the frame rates that I'm being put in.[0:40:45]   See, this is why I said this YouTube clipping is a bad idea.[0:40:47]   People are making clips of me like this.[0:40:50]   Hey everybody, it's me.[0:40:51]   That's the frame rate they've given me.[0:40:53]   So of course, these people in the suburbs[0:40:55]   are going to find.[0:40:56]   That's probably what's making the most.[0:40:57]   So I always say, I'm only offended and I'm only mad[0:41:01]   and I only get worried if somebody has given us a full year[0:41:06]   and they still say, no, not for me, he's a liar.[0:41:11]   Then I go nuts, then I panic, then I scream.[0:41:13]   But you can't be mad at somebody[0:41:17]   when they haven't given it the time.[0:41:19]   And it's just a year.[0:41:20]   It's just a year of your life, which isn't bad.[0:41:24]   We're sorry about what we said.[0:41:28]   It's not about sorry,[0:41:29]   it's about they need to give this a year.[0:41:32]   Look, someone says I hated Red Bar at first,[0:41:34]   took me five months to come around.[0:41:37]   Five months?[0:41:39]   We're kidding about the year, you know.[0:41:41]   Five months is huge.[0:41:43]   Should be two weeks.[0:41:44]   Most people, it's two weeks they come around.[0:41:47]   Five months to come around.[0:41:49]   Imagine trying to sell that on Shark Tank.[0:41:51]   So yeah, I usually tend to fill out a list[0:41:53]   of five months to stop hating me[0:41:55]   and then a full year to like it.[0:41:58]   About six years for them to join Scar's Club.[0:42:01]   By the way, I'm not answering emails[0:42:03]   unless you're Scar's Club.[0:42:05]   Why would I anymore?[0:42:07]   You know, people got our show all mixed up.[0:42:10]   Thank you, Scar's Club members, by the way, for being here.[0:42:13]   100% ad-free program.[0:42:16]   You don't see that this day and age.[0:42:18]   I watched Tim Dillon's show in the Shire shower this morning.[0:42:21]   You like that?[0:42:26]   Shire instead of shower?[0:42:29]   She's on her period.[0:42:30]   That's why she's doing this.[0:42:32]   Stop.[0:42:34]   I'm just joking, I'm not abusive.[0:42:36]   But I was listening to Tim Dillon in the shower.[0:42:38]   And, but he's doing these ads.[0:42:41]   I mean, he really goes crazy for these ads[0:42:43]   and he really tries to be sincere now.[0:42:46]   And I like how these guys at first, they're like,[0:42:48]   what if I do a slight joke about the ad, then is it fair?[0:42:52]   No.[0:42:54]   You know, anybody who delivers these live read type ads,[0:42:59]   I'll start there.[0:43:00]   I feel all ads are completely evil, but I don't have,[0:43:04]   I mean, I really, I don't have any room to give a person.[0:43:08]   You do a live read.[0:43:11]   I'm through with you.[0:43:13]   I cannot trust you ever.[0:43:16]   Like Bill Hicks once said,[0:43:18]   imagine if Bill Hicks saw people doing podcasts like this,[0:43:24]   oh boy, it would be very, very bad.[0:43:26]   I don't know how Joe Rogan could sit there and idolize[0:43:30]   Mr. Hickson.[0:43:32]   You know, and then all of these people have decided that,[0:43:34]   oh my God, it's so hack to, I don't like Bill Hicks.[0:43:39]   He just happened to say a lot of things that, you know,[0:43:43]   we care deeply about in this day and age.[0:43:46]   It's very embarrassing, in fact.[0:43:49]   And it showed us that there was maybe a standup comedian[0:43:53]   one time that you could take some advice from.[0:43:57]   You don't have that today.[0:43:59]   Your standup comedians of today are doing everything[0:44:03]   in their power to steer you into the wrong place,[0:44:08]   into the wrong direction.[0:44:10]   In Tim Dylan's show, I was listening to his sincerity[0:44:13]   during these ads and the types of ads that he does.[0:44:17]   Hello Fresh, Magic Spoon,[0:44:21]   Manscaped, Blue Chew.[0:44:25]   You know, I gotta remind you,[0:44:27]   I wanna remind you every show how embarrassing that is,[0:44:31]   how wrong that is.[0:44:34]   It's not even a product.[0:44:36]   They can't even go, listen,[0:44:37]   I wanna make a little bit of money.[0:44:38]   How about I find a product that I actually like[0:44:41]   and email them and set some, nope.[0:44:44]   It's just, hey, who's the,[0:44:45]   what's that company that gets us the ads, Theo?[0:44:49]   Yeah, can you tell them that I want the ads?[0:44:51]   Great, I'll say anything they give me on a sheet of paper.[0:44:55]   I mean, that's really, really, really crazy.[0:44:59]   And it's become so commonplace[0:45:03]   that we're just so used to it.[0:45:05]   So yes, I have to say every episode,[0:45:08]   something about these ads and something about how it's off,[0:45:10]   I hate saying it, I hate repeating myself, trust me.[0:45:14]   It's one of the worst things.[0:45:15]   That's why I don't know how Tim,[0:45:18]   that's why he's wearing these big rainbow sunglasses.[0:45:20]   Now, have you seen his rainbow glasses?[0:45:22]   I don't know how Tim could even utter the words[0:45:25]   written on those pieces of paper[0:45:28]   from Manscaped or Magic Spoon.[0:45:31]   You gotta buy a cereal subscription for this stuff.[0:45:34]   Magic Spoon, him and Philip DeFranco[0:45:37]   are selling you the same fake cereal subscription.[0:45:43]   I just don't know how people haven't,[0:45:47]   how they're not burning the city down after hearing that.[0:45:52]   I don't know how anyone could take any person serious[0:45:54]   who sells a Magic Spoon cereal or Manscaped or dick pill.[0:45:58]   They're literally selling dick pills.[0:46:01]   She's coughing, she's sick.[0:46:03]   Sorry, I'm fine.[0:46:03]   Oh, she's fine.[0:46:04]   This one, it's like every damn day.[0:46:06]   I'm gonna lose her for sure.[0:46:07]   100%, I'm gonna lose her to some woman's cancer.[0:46:12]   And I'm telling you this, there will be no return of me.[0:46:17]   I will find a way to leap[0:46:21]   from the tallest building in Tucson.[0:46:25]   If she even gets slightly sick, there is no coming back.[0:46:29]   I don't know how Marc Maron, by the way,[0:46:30]   I watched Marc Maron's special,[0:46:33]   weeping throughout the whole thing.[0:46:36]   Marc Maron's wife, or was this his girlfriend?[0:46:40]   It was his girlfriend.[0:46:41]   It was his girlfriend, but Marc Maron's like 65.[0:46:43]   If you have a girlfriend that lives with you[0:46:44]   and you're 60 years old, that's your wife.[0:46:47]   She died.[0:46:49]   She died unexpectedly of some-[0:46:53]   Cancer.[0:46:54]   Crazy, it was cancer?[0:46:55]   Yeah, he said that-[0:46:56]   But they didn't even know about it.[0:46:57]   And then one day she was just sick.[0:46:59]   Two days later, she dies in the hospital.[0:47:02]   It was during COVID, so he couldn't even see her.[0:47:05]   And they let him see her after she was dead.[0:47:09]   And he's telling this whole story on his special.[0:47:13]   And it's like, how could you even do a special?[0:47:16]   How are you able?[0:47:18]   He must have not loved her very much.[0:47:22]   It's gonna be way worse for you when I die.[0:47:25]   I like to go by, one of my mentors is this guy, Adam.[0:47:30]   And he said,[0:47:32]   If you died, I wouldn't know what a tree was.[0:47:38]   That's the type of person I am, and I know.[0:47:40]   I mean, every day she's with the inhaler.[0:47:43]   She's fucking gagging.[0:47:44]   She's bleeding all over the house.[0:47:48]   I'm fine.[0:47:50]   So he had nothing to worry about.[0:47:51]   I'm very, very concerned.[0:47:54]   If anything is gonna go according to plan in my life,[0:47:57]   it's that once I get all better, you're going to die.[0:48:04]   And there better be another listener.[0:48:06]   So let's get these girls ready now.[0:48:08]   Maybe you should start training another girl[0:48:10]   or five different girls who are ready to step right in[0:48:13]   and fill right in.[0:48:14]   It's the only way I'll be able to survive[0:48:17]   is if a replacement comes in.[0:48:20]   I'm thinking of Mega Mind.[0:48:25]   I just, I can't say that.[0:48:26]   I can't degrade myself.[0:48:28]   I'm so sorry.[0:48:29]   Don't go low.[0:48:30]   Don't go low.[0:48:31]   When they go low, you gotta go.[0:48:35]   But I just love this word, Mega Mind.[0:48:39]   And every time I look at you,[0:48:42]   I see Mega Mind.[0:48:43]   I'm just kidding.[0:48:44]   Okay.[0:48:46]   No more talking about that.[0:48:47]   I don't know why I got into that.[0:48:48]   I was talking about Tim Dylan.[0:48:50]   I was talking about the level of respect[0:48:52]   that they don't give you.[0:48:53]   I was listening to Tim Dylan in the shower today.[0:48:55]   Why was I listening to Tim Dylan in the shower though?[0:48:57]   There was something else besides the stupid magic spoon[0:48:59]   thing that everybody knows.[0:49:00]   Something about his sunglasses.[0:49:02]   No, it wasn't about his sunglasses.[0:49:03]   I was in the shower.[0:49:04]   Take me back to that shower.[0:49:06]   I was in there.[0:49:06]   I was listening to Tim Dylan in the shire.[0:49:10]   Remember, you burst out laughing[0:49:12]   as if it was the funniest typo in the world.[0:49:15]   Oh, shire, yes.[0:49:17]   And then I started talking about the ads,[0:49:18]   which wasn't my main subject.[0:49:21]   So if anybody could remember, she's gonna read the chat.[0:49:23]   She's gonna see if we could remember.[0:49:25]   There was something very important coming up.[0:49:28]   I don't even know what I was talking about.[0:49:30]   You know, I don't even know where we were.[0:49:31]   See, somebody's gotta get me back[0:49:33]   to what the hell we were talking about there.[0:49:35]   It was very important.[0:49:36]   I was talking to something big here.[0:49:38]   Big, big, big.[0:49:39]   We're waiting.[0:49:40]   There's a 30-second delay as well.[0:49:42]   So we gotta see.[0:49:43]   Maybe we didn't know what you were gonna say because-[0:49:45]   Well, you could get me somewhere.[0:49:46]   I mean, somebody's gotta know.[0:49:49]   There's a lot of mega minds in this chat.[0:49:53]   I think you were just talking about them doing ads[0:49:55]   and then you were listening to Tim Dylan in the shower.[0:49:56]   Nope, nope, that was the frivolous nonsense thing[0:49:59]   that I was talking about, but it was very important.[0:50:01]   I was leading on to this big, big, big, big, big story.[0:50:04]   That really worries me how quickly[0:50:07]   I forget things like this.[0:50:10]   How quickly I blame you for the coughing and the gagging[0:50:13]   and the screaming and the pain.[0:50:15]   I'm sorry, I shouldn't have coughed.[0:50:16]   It's like a tiny puff.[0:50:17]   Well, what could I move on to instead of that?[0:50:19]   Because I feel like that was leading me into something.[0:50:22]   Okay, we'll show you this.[0:50:24]   This came out in the car.[0:50:26]   Which link?[0:50:27]   The Twitter link here, this first one.[0:50:29]   This came out in the car.[0:50:30]   I couldn't believe it.[0:50:31]   I nearly gagged.[0:50:33]   You guys remember Meghan Trainor?[0:50:35]   Sure you do.[0:50:36]   Cause she was just on Andrew Santino's podcast.[0:50:41]   She was just on Rick Glassman's podcast as well.[0:50:44]   All of these comedy podcasts, they've gotten so lazy[0:50:48]   and they need those views.[0:50:50]   They're around all the time,[0:50:50]   especially Andrew Santino is a great example[0:50:55]   of a junk podcast designed to move ticket sales[0:51:00]   and move merch.[0:51:02]   And it's just this system.[0:51:04]   It's just this podcast system that they've developed[0:51:09]   for people like Bobby Lee, Tom Segura, Andrew Santino,[0:51:13]   Rick Glassman is now doing it.[0:51:15]   And they all have the same sponsors.[0:51:18]   They all have the same guests.[0:51:21]   They all seem to have the same merch business plan.[0:51:25]   Where every two weeks there's a new drop[0:51:28]   and it's the tickets and it's all just, you know,[0:51:33]   it just repeats.[0:51:34]   Andrew Santino to me is the most revolting[0:51:37]   of all of those types of podcasts.[0:51:40]   And they interview people, it's a chat show.[0:51:44]   And every week they have a new guest[0:51:46]   and they've even gotten lazier here.[0:51:49]   The new thing that they do is they have a guest[0:51:52]   booking company that just books them guests[0:51:56]   that are looking to plug things.[0:51:59]   So what Andrew Santino does is he gets a list.[0:52:02]   Here, here are the people available.[0:52:04]   Tell us which ones you want.[0:52:05]   I don't even know if it goes that far.[0:52:07]   Could just be like, here's who's coming on your show.[0:52:10]   So he's got Meghan Trainor on the show.[0:52:13]   You know, somebody we don't need to hear from[0:52:15]   and somebody we've also heard from five other times[0:52:18]   on all these other comedy podcasts.[0:52:21]   I don't like this Meghan Trainor.[0:52:22]   She's that, all about that beef, about that beef,[0:52:25]   no boogie, all about, she's a fraudster.[0:52:29]   She came out with that song.[0:52:32]   She doesn't even like that kind of music.[0:52:34]   And she says as much in these interviews.[0:52:36]   She's just like, I was trying to get into that algorithm,[0:52:40]   figure out, you know, she like did research[0:52:43]   on what would work and what wouldn't and she,[0:52:47]   and they spell out these evil plans on these podcasts now[0:52:51]   as if we should be congratulating them for conning us.[0:52:56]   So Meghan Trainor was just on Santino.[0:53:00]   She's despicable.[0:53:01]   I mean, she's really, really, really bad.[0:53:04]   You know, I really, this is driving me crazy, just crazy.[0:53:09]   I don't know what the vibrations are.[0:53:11]   Every two seconds, every time I look by the way,[0:53:16]   a giant close-up photo of Ethan Klein on Instagram.[0:53:19]   Every time I'll be driving, it's like,[0:53:22]   and I go, oh, I gotta see what this is.[0:53:26]   And then if you think Klein's profile picture from Instagram[0:53:30]   for some reason, every time I can't believe how invasive[0:53:34]   that is to have his face on my body in the car,[0:53:39]   that's too much.[0:53:41]   Well, this is what came up.[0:53:42]   This is Meghan Trainor's newest scheme.[0:53:46]   And her thing is, remember, she takes like a 50s doo-wop[0:53:49]   song because this is how she got famous[0:53:51]   with All About That Bass.[0:53:52]   It's like a 50s thing,[0:53:54]   but then she mixes in a little modern day.[0:53:57]   I can't stand this one.[0:53:58]   Big fat woman.[0:54:00]   To me, there is no room for the obese in entertainment.[0:54:05]   Except for Lizzo.[0:54:06]   You guys are wrong about Lizzo.[0:54:09]   There's so many women I wish you were attacking[0:54:12]   day in and day out.[0:54:13]   Lizzo should have never been attacked.[0:54:16]   You really got tricked by Lizzo.[0:54:19]   She could have been really, really nice.[0:54:22]   She could have been a nice person.[0:54:24]   And she was good enough.[0:54:26]   Lizzo had the talent where you could overlook[0:54:29]   the weight thing.[0:54:30]   Meghan Trainor does not have the talent.[0:54:33]   You know, it's just auto-tune nonsense.[0:54:36]   That's the person you should have all been attacking.[0:54:41]   I'll even go as far as to say,[0:54:43]   you should have left Lena Dunham alone as well,[0:54:47]   because now you bullied her into a corner[0:54:50]   where she can't make things.[0:54:51]   And I don't know if you've seen HBO's Girls,[0:54:54]   it's very good.[0:54:59]   You guys know Marn?[0:55:00]   Rewatch Girls.[0:55:02]   A lot of people, I think,[0:55:03]   I remember when Girls came out, the HBO show,[0:55:07]   that's just a show guys wouldn't go near.[0:55:09]   I mean, to them, that was like a girls only show.[0:55:14]   It was not only Girls.[0:55:16]   It said Girls, and they can't watch a show called Girls.[0:55:18]   That's for Girls.[0:55:21]   So a lot of guys had a problem with that.[0:55:22]   I remember when that show came out,[0:55:24]   none of our listeners would watch it.[0:55:28]   And the other problem when that show came out[0:55:30]   was that it was hipster.[0:55:34]   And I feel like a lot of people hate hipsters.[0:55:37]   But I don't think what they understood about that show[0:55:39]   is this show was mocking those types of people.[0:55:44]   I mean, this show put a spotlight on the fool[0:55:47]   that is that New York hipster bitch.[0:55:50]   It was a very exposing show.[0:55:53]   And we've been rewatching it, and I gotta say-[0:55:56]   It's literally the best show ever made.[0:55:57]   Four EPs a night.[0:56:00]   We're doing four EPs a night.[0:56:02]   It's one of the best shows.[0:56:04]   Sometimes even five-[0:56:04]   Give me the Kanye clip.[0:56:07]   Yes.[0:56:08]   That, that, that, that.[0:56:09]   We'll play that for everybody, but that was a mistake.[0:56:11]   And it's like, y'all went after Lena Dunham[0:56:14]   because she was fat, and now she's in hiding.[0:56:16]   She's not gonna make any good shows like Girls Anymore.[0:56:19]   You all went after Lizzo, and now Lizzo's affected by that.[0:56:24]   You need to go after people like Meghan Trainor.[0:56:28]   Learn how to hate and who to hate,[0:56:33]   and you could actually make the world a better place,[0:56:36]   and people would even get behind this.[0:56:38]   So I am all behind I hate fat women.[0:56:41]   And in fact, Lena Dunham, when she's naked on that show,[0:56:44]   and Jules could attest to this,[0:56:46]   I scream, I gag, and I get really mad.[0:56:50]   And I mean, Lena Dunham is naked[0:56:52]   on that show Girls constantly,[0:56:54]   and she's got the most disgusting[0:56:58]   sacks of tits hanging off her body.[0:57:02]   And really, I mean, I'm going like this,[0:57:06]   and I get mad, and I start,[0:57:07]   and Jules is even getting sick of me screaming at the screen,[0:57:10]   but it really is.[0:57:13]   She's disgusting, I get it.[0:57:14]   She's terrible, I get it,[0:57:15]   but you gotta find out who deserves it and who doesn't.[0:57:20]   And Meghan Trainor deserves it.[0:57:23]   Look at this face.[0:57:24]   Oh, wait, the second video is a TikTok with the song.[0:57:26]   If you wanna see a video of her doing it.[0:57:30]   I didn't watch it.[0:57:31]   I don't think I can open TikTok.[0:57:34]   No, no, no, it's here, ruining my own shit.[0:57:36]   I don't have TikTok.[0:57:38]   Is it gonna let me play it?[0:57:39]   Yeah, you can go back to- Okay.[0:57:41]   Here it is, and you'll see,[0:57:43]   this is just a snippet I heard in the car on the way here,[0:57:46]   and I couldn't believe what I heard.[0:57:49]   Listen to this fucking shit.[0:57:51]   Here it is.[0:57:52]   Oh, God, and there's her little son.[0:57:54]   This is Meghan Trainor's son.[0:57:56]   Again, this is not the same kind of kid[0:57:59]   that we don't say let's kill.[0:58:03]   You know how people are like,[0:58:04]   never, dude, you can never talk badly about a kid.[0:58:07]   That's a child.[0:58:09]   Yeah, but look at this child, like, who cares?[0:58:12]   You want this kid out there doing what?[0:58:15]   He looks innocent.[0:58:16]   What's he gonna do, be in the booth[0:58:18]   on one of Tom Segura's shows?[0:58:21]   He could be another dad.[0:58:22]   No, no, no, you don't need this kid.[0:58:25]   You know, I'll tell you which kids deserve to live[0:58:28]   and which kids don't,[0:58:29]   but it can't just be this blanket thing[0:58:31]   where every fat woman we bully off the internet,[0:58:35]   every kid we cherish.[0:58:37]   No, this kid and her mom should both be bullied[0:58:40]   and nobody's bullying her[0:58:41]   because Lizzo's taking all the bullets.[0:58:44]   Lena Dunham's taking all the bullets[0:58:46]   and Meghan Trainor's just skating on by.[0:58:48]   Well, she's getting bullied a little bit.[0:58:49]   Oh, it's not enough.[0:58:51]   It's definitely not enough.[0:58:52]   So here she is in look at this face,[0:58:54]   the face of the Jew.[0:58:58]   I mean, and this is a fraud through.[0:59:00]   I mean, you gotta hear her origin story.[0:59:02]   I can recommend her on Rick Glassman's podcast[0:59:05]   to hear how she just cheated her way to the top.[0:59:07]   She's got no musical interest even.[0:59:09]   She's just doing whatever.[0:59:11]   She does the research and she fills in[0:59:13]   whatever the algorithm needs and boom.[0:59:15]   And she's still here today.[0:59:18]   And look at this big foopa.[0:59:20]   She's pregnant.[0:59:21]   Oh yeah, right.[0:59:22]   Okay, look at this snippet.[0:59:23]   This is what we heard[0:59:24]   and it was the most embarrassing.[0:59:27]   I'm gonna be singing this for the rest of the day.[0:59:27]   You're gonna be singing this all night.[0:59:29]   Listen to this song.[0:59:32]   I am your mother.[0:59:35]   You listen to me.[0:59:37]   Stop all the mansplaining.[0:59:39]   No one's listening.[0:59:41]   Tell me who gave you the permission to speak.[0:59:45]   I am your mother.[0:59:47]   You listen to me.[0:59:49]   You just a bum, bum, bum.[0:59:53]   I am your mother.[0:59:54]   I am your mother, you motherfucker.[0:59:58]   What about that?[0:59:59]   They like that over there at compound.[1:00:01]   All the compound guys like people who go,[1:00:03]   hey, your mother, my mother.[1:00:06]   I thought you would love this[1:00:07]   cause you love mama themed songs.[1:00:09]   So it's not that much of a stretch to mother.[1:00:12]   I am, to me, there's nothing more cringe[1:00:14]   than walking around and going,[1:00:17]   how you doing, you motherfucker, my motherfucking balls.[1:00:24]   So yeah, I thought this was disgraceful.[1:00:26]   We heard this again.[1:00:27]   Just heard this on the way here[1:00:29]   and we heard this.[1:00:29]   You just a.[1:00:31]   Here's everybody at the red light.[1:00:36]   The first time they don't auto play here.[1:00:38]   Who's that?[1:00:39]   I know how much you love your recipe.[1:00:40]   Pissing me off.[1:00:41]   My favorite bass.[1:00:43]   We're about to do a.[1:00:44]   They're doing tutorials.[1:00:45]   They're showing you how to make Quaker caramel rice cakes[1:00:48]   and shit like that.[1:00:49]   I wanted to hear the mother song.[1:00:51]   Here, just do this one.[1:00:53]   This is what I wanted to do originally.[1:00:54]   You listen to me.[1:00:56]   I am your mother.[1:00:57]   No, I'm not dancing to this shit.[1:00:58]   Fuck that.[1:00:59]   Don't dance.[1:01:00]   Stop all the mansplaining.[1:01:02]   No one's listening.[1:01:04]   Tell me who gave you the permission to speak.[1:01:08]   I am your mother.[1:01:10]   You listen to me.[1:01:12]   You just a bum, bum, bum.[1:01:14]   And this is the Sandman.[1:01:15]   Jules thought that was a Christmas song in the car.[1:01:17]   She goes, why is she doing a Christmas thing?[1:01:19]   I go, Sandman?[1:01:20]   To me, that's a Christmas song.[1:01:21]   That's 365, man.[1:01:23]   Sorry.[1:01:24]   Mr. Sandman, bring me some sand.[1:01:29]   The Sandman.[1:01:30]   I mean, that scared me.[1:01:31]   Sano man.[1:01:32]   Isn't that song in like every Christmas movie?[1:01:34]   No.[1:01:34]   It's in movies about the 50s, which were all[1:01:39]   based around Christmas.[1:01:40]   Yeah.[1:01:41]   All right.[1:01:42]   Let's see what we've got here.[1:01:43]   Any other little announcements before we start the show here?[1:01:47]   I just hope everybody's canceled Brian Callan's Patreon.[1:01:50]   I think I even started talking about this last show.[1:01:53]   We got distracted.[1:01:54]   Cut back to me.[1:01:56]   And then I got distracted again.[1:01:58]   So as a prank four shows ago, we asked[1:02:01]   you to subscribe to Brian Callan's Patreon[1:02:05]   in order to give him a scare.[1:02:08]   Oh, really, dude?[1:02:10]   And boy, he did it.[1:02:11]   I mean, he was sitting at 338 Patreon members[1:02:16]   for months and months and months all year.[1:02:18]   And he wasn't giving out any content.[1:02:19]   I mean, he won a year.[1:02:21]   I can't believe Brian, a guy his age, able bodied, healthy[1:02:26]   as a horse.[1:02:28]   And it's a guy who was accused, accused only of rape.[1:02:35]   Which I don't even like saying.[1:02:37]   I mean, it's to the point where I really[1:02:42]   don't want people to think that's why I dislike him.[1:02:45]   I have disliked this guy Brian Callan way before.[1:02:48]   Any rape stuff.[1:02:49]   The rape was just a woo type of thing.[1:02:55]   But for a guy like that, a mature man,[1:02:57]   and you'll see him today, he was on George Jenko's podcast.[1:03:02]   Brian Callan on a show for little kids on YouTube.[1:03:06]   Think about that.[1:03:07]   Brian Callan being put in front of 14-year-old Mexican kids[1:03:11]   talking about Christ and how Christ is our Lord.[1:03:15]   Christ was a man.[1:03:20]   The fact that that guy, and this is really telling.[1:03:23]   I mean, he's 50 years old.[1:03:26]   Two families, right?[1:03:27]   He's got a new family now.[1:03:29]   He's got the old family that he never talks about.[1:03:32]   You can tell he's kind of thinking about maybe family[1:03:34]   number three one day.[1:03:35]   Really?[1:03:36]   He's got the rape allegations.[1:03:38]   He's fully canceled, almost lost his friendship.[1:03:41]   Whatever they say, he lost his friendship with Joe Rogan.[1:03:45]   Rogan has him on once a year right now,[1:03:48]   just contractually, I think.[1:03:52]   But he's very rude to him.[1:03:54]   I mean, Rogan is very rude to Callan.[1:03:56]   And for a guy like that, who's in that position,[1:04:01]   to open up a Patreon, promote it, tell everyone to join,[1:04:06]   and then not post content on it for almost a year,[1:04:10]   and dick around with everybody about the content[1:04:12]   that he does put up.[1:04:14]   And then when he finally does post it,[1:04:15]   it's just cruising with Callan, a 12-minute show of him[1:04:18]   in his car, an episode that he takes after he puts it[1:04:25]   on the Patreon, he throws it up on YouTube for free weeks[1:04:28]   after, a kick in the face.[1:04:30]   I go, that's actually kind of nuts.[1:04:33]   Like, imagine your dad, because he's dad, he's dad aged.[1:04:39]   Imagine your dad dicking around like that.[1:04:41]   So then when I see him on podcasts,[1:04:43]   like we're going to watch today with George Genco,[1:04:45]   where he's talking about, a man has the responsibility[1:04:48]   to take care of that.[1:04:49]   It's like, you're acting like a child,[1:04:53]   not doing his Patreon assignments.[1:04:57]   You know, you won't even do your Patreon homework.[1:05:00]   Has anyone ever fulfilled their Patreon?[1:05:03]   They come out too hot.[1:05:06]   You can have everything.[1:05:08]   Penpal, you'll be handwritten letters to you every week.[1:05:12]   Every week, I'll pick three people[1:05:15]   to come have iced tea with me at my favorite spot in Costa Rica.[1:05:20]   It's like, you're not going to do all that stuff.[1:05:23]   I know it's exciting.[1:05:25]   And they see other people with a Patreon.[1:05:27]   I'm sure he sees Tim Dillon's Patreon.[1:05:28]   And he goes, I think this is what happens.[1:05:31]   These guys see Tim Dillon's Patreon,[1:05:32]   they see Calm Town's Patreon.[1:05:34]   And they go, holy shit, $200,000 a month.[1:05:39]   If I even got a quarter of that, I'd be plenty happy.[1:05:41]   So they promised the world.[1:05:43]   They've got all these plans for the Patreon.[1:05:45]   They open it, and then they get 33 Patreons.[1:05:49]   And then it doesn't quite move.[1:05:51]   And then they go, well, why would I[1:05:52]   do all this stuff for $400, $500 a month, $124 a month?[1:06:00]   I mean, there's a lot of these people's Patreons[1:06:02]   where if it's-[1:06:04]   But then if you get $1,000, you're[1:06:06]   going to write 1,000 handwritten letters.[1:06:07]   Exactly.[1:06:08]   Like, you're just setting yourself up to fail.[1:06:11]   So I think that's what happens.[1:06:12]   They just kind of give up on the Patreons[1:06:14]   and hope that everybody who is subscribed just[1:06:18]   won't give them a hard time.[1:06:19]   So we said, let's give Brian Callan a scare.[1:06:22]   And we had you guys sign up for his Patreon.[1:06:25]   And you did.[1:06:26]   And I said, everybody who signs up,[1:06:28]   we will reimburse you the $5.[1:06:31]   And then we kind of forgot.[1:06:35]   And we said, we're going to have a plan.[1:06:36]   We're going to tell everybody what the plan is.[1:06:38]   And then we forgot.[1:06:39]   So if you're still subscribed, please unsubscribe.[1:06:41]   And of course, you could email me for that $5.[1:06:44]   I wouldn't.[1:06:45]   And there we go.[1:06:46]   No, I want you to.[1:06:47]   I would-[1:06:48]   No, I have.[1:06:48]   And listen, so many people email me.[1:06:50]   They're like, I signed up for Callan's Patreon for the prank.[1:06:54]   Which, by the way, there is no prank.[1:06:55]   The prank is he sees the numbers go up,[1:06:58]   and we drive him to quickly try to produce content.[1:07:03]   Because he's scared that he got this influx of people[1:07:06]   that are all going to drop out immediately.[1:07:08]   And we thought, how funny would it[1:07:09]   be if he sees his Patreon go up by 100 users,[1:07:14]   and then at the snap of a finger, they all disappear?[1:07:18]   That might start worrying him.[1:07:22]   Smallly, like a little bit of just a light worry.[1:07:26]   That's what I like to instill.[1:07:28]   And then, of course, we forgot.[1:07:30]   So please unsubscribe.[1:07:31]   And I got to say, a lot of people email me.[1:07:33]   They go, Mike, no need for the reimbursement.[1:07:36]   Happy to be part of a classic bit.[1:07:39]   And then I got other people that just go, here's my go-to.[1:07:43]   They're sending this rude-[1:07:45]   What the fuck?[1:07:46]   Pushy email.[1:07:47]   What?[1:07:48]   I just went to check his Patreon numbers,[1:07:50]   and they went way down.[1:07:51]   They went even lower?[1:07:53]   Maybe all of our people did.[1:07:54]   Just unsubscribe?[1:07:55]   OK, send that over.[1:07:56]   Let's take a view.[1:07:58]   I texted.[1:07:58]   So what were his numbers before you just said, oh, my god?[1:08:02]   So when we first looked at his Patreon,[1:08:05]   when we came up with this gag, who was that?[1:08:07]   I like messing with a grown family man.[1:08:10]   And the more family the fool has,[1:08:13]   the more I want to get in there and disrupt,[1:08:15]   because he has no right to have two families.[1:08:20]   He has no right.[1:08:20]   And that's not congratulating.[1:08:22]   There's nothing to congratulate.[1:08:23]   He doesn't see his kids.[1:08:25]   He's podcasting every day.[1:08:27]   He cares about himself.[1:08:29]   He cares about his looks.[1:08:31]   Wait till you see him on George Janko.[1:08:34]   So yes, please, you've got to shake this up.[1:08:36]   So it started with 338 when we first looked at it.[1:08:39]   338 is where it was at before we told everybody to subscribe.[1:08:43]   And then we told everyone to subscribe, and the last,[1:08:45]   I checked, it jumped up to 390 or something like that.[1:08:48]   OK, 390.[1:08:50]   So he got excited.[1:08:51]   Here he is, the man![1:08:53]   And now, let's look at a name.[1:08:56]   OK, let's see what the number is.[1:08:58]   285![1:09:01]   Oh, Brian![1:09:04]   Where are the Patreons?[1:09:08]   Where are the Patreons, is what I said.[1:09:11]   In King's talk, which you love so much,[1:09:13]   because you love history.[1:09:15]   Yeah, your Patreon's about to be history.[1:09:17]   So you went, let's pretend, he had 338, and it went to 390.[1:09:21]   So it's 390 minus 285.[1:09:23]   How many people have we deleted from his Patreon?[1:09:26]   That's a low number.[1:09:27]   285?[1:09:29]   105.[1:09:30]   How does he, you've got to close it.[1:09:32]   If it's 285, he lost 105 Patreons in my hand.[1:09:36]   Is that what we're saying?[1:09:37]   It's possible.[1:09:38]   285.[1:09:41]   Kevin Brennan has more Patreons than Brian Callan,[1:09:45]   who's on Rogan all the time.[1:09:48]   Famous Brian Callan from TV.[1:09:51]   Inventor of toehold.[1:09:52]   I just don't understand.[1:09:55]   Isn't this number enough to know that you're not[1:09:58]   welcomed here?[1:09:59]   You've been on, and this is what I say,[1:10:01]   the more advertisement you've done for yourself,[1:10:05]   the more this number means.[1:10:07]   So Brian Callan has been in front of,[1:10:10]   you know, this year alone,[1:10:11]   he's been in front of millions of people.[1:10:12]   He's advertised himself to millions of people.[1:10:16]   Out of the millions, just this year,[1:10:19]   only 285 of those million people said, okay,[1:10:26]   I'm in.[1:10:27]   That's bad.[1:10:28]   That would make me kill myself.[1:10:30]   That would make me want to kill myself[1:10:32]   if I was on every podcast that exists.[1:10:36]   He's been on every comedy podcast that exists.[1:10:40]   He's been a guest.[1:10:42]   Millions and millions and millions of people.[1:10:44]   He's been on Rogan how many times?[1:10:45]   20 times?[1:10:46]   30 times?[1:10:48]   And only 285 people care to actually hear[1:10:54]   what he has to say.[1:10:55]   Anyone outside of your paying members[1:10:57]   doesn't really even count.[1:10:59]   Those are false clicks.[1:11:01]   That's false hope.[1:11:02]   So I really want to,[1:11:03]   I might have to message his wife again.[1:11:06]   And no, I'm not going to harass.[1:11:08]   I don't harass her.[1:11:09]   I ask her questions like a reporter should,[1:11:14]   like a reporter does is what I meant to say.[1:11:16]   And I will ask her, you know,[1:11:18]   your husband has 285 patrons.[1:11:19]   That's the same thing as like only having 285 bucks.[1:11:26]   This is Mersch.[1:11:27]   I mean, Mersch has more of these losers.[1:11:29]   I shouldn't even be speaking their names,[1:11:32]   have more people than Brian Callan.[1:11:34]   All right, well, should we see a little Brian Callan?[1:11:36]   I sent you the Marn video if you still want that.[1:11:39]   Yes, okay.[1:11:40]   This is why you should be watching Girls.[1:11:42]   Girls was really good.[1:11:44]   And is this queued up?[1:11:46]   Yeah, I think so.[1:11:48]   This is really good.[1:11:49]   We're going to watch this scene[1:11:51]   and maybe you guys should try watching it[1:11:54]   and stop with this.[1:11:55]   That's for girls.[1:11:56]   I can't do it.[1:11:57]   This is for guys.[1:11:59]   Guys, do this.[1:12:00]   You're being led.[1:12:02]   See, I'm not trying to make you trans.[1:12:04]   Nobody's treating her and your little kids in school.[1:12:07]   Well, I wish they fucking would.[1:12:09]   I wish schools turned into full rape factories of your son.[1:12:15]   See, I wish your kid went to school[1:12:16]   and he was stripped for first period[1:12:19]   and then licked from periods two through six[1:12:25]   all the way up and down until he had to call you.[1:12:28]   The nurse calls you.[1:12:29]   Oh, your son's died from AIDS from the trans staff.[1:12:34]   Sorry.[1:12:35]   And we've liquefied him already.[1:12:39]   It's happening all over America.[1:12:41]   It is.[1:12:41]   I mean, you guys and your stupid kid, please.[1:12:46]   Do you have any idea what your kids are going to end up being?[1:12:49]   Okay, so this is the scene from girls.[1:12:51]   Please try to give this show a chance[1:12:56]   because we're currently watching it.[1:12:57]   And a lot of my references are going to be girls based.[1:13:00]   This isn't a good day to wear this[1:13:02]   and then showing girls and yelling at all of them.[1:13:04]   They're going to start thinking I've gotten kooky,[1:13:09]   but I haven't.[1:13:09]   Okay, check this out.[1:13:10]   This is the funniest scene.[1:13:12]   Hi, oh, how's it going?[1:13:14]   Listen, I'm a friend, an old friend of Charlie's.[1:13:17]   Hi, Charlie.[1:13:19]   They're going to love this scene.[1:13:20]   How proud I am of you and all of you.[1:13:23]   This is such a big deal.[1:13:24]   Congratulations.[1:13:26]   That's mine.[1:13:27]   A little bit of a treat, a surprise for you guys.[1:13:29]   She's wonderful.[1:13:30]   Brian Callan's daughter.[1:13:32]   You know, this premature success you've all had.[1:13:34]   So really, I mean, this song is really meaningful to me.[1:13:37]   I hope you have the same reaction and you can press play.[1:13:40]   She's at a hipster party for a company that made an app.[1:13:46]   Work it, make it, do it, makes us harder, better, faster, stronger.[1:13:55]   Watch this.[1:13:57]   That the don't kill me can only make me stronger.[1:14:02]   I need you to hurry up now, cause I can't wait much longer.[1:14:11]   And they're all cringing out.[1:14:13]   Let's get lost tonight.[1:14:15]   You can be my White Kate Moss tonight.[1:14:19]   Play secretary, you're the boss tonight.[1:14:22]   And you don't give a fuck what they all say, right?[1:14:26]   Bow in the presence of greatness.[1:14:30]   Cause right now thou hast forsaken us.[1:14:34]   You should be honored by my lateness.[1:14:37]   That I would even show up to this fake show.[1:14:39]   This fake shit.[1:14:40]   So go ahead, go nuts, go ape shit.[1:14:44]   Look, they're disgusting.[1:14:45]   Especially my pastels and my babe shit.[1:14:48]   She's still going.[1:14:49]   I know I got to be right now.[1:14:52]   This should be an every show should have a scene like that.[1:14:55]   Cause I can't get much longer.[1:14:57]   Man, I've been waiting all night now.[1:15:00]   That's how long I've been on ya.[1:15:04]   Who gets Jewish at the end?[1:15:06]   On ya.[1:15:08]   Congrats on the 20,000 you guys, really.[1:15:11]   They got 20,000 users.[1:15:14]   You guys, wasn't that fucking awesome?[1:15:18]   I mean, come on.[1:15:19]   If that was on a show today, you'd all be jumping for joy.[1:15:22]   That's the kind of TV I want.[1:15:25]   You know what I'm really excited for?[1:15:27]   Lily Rose Depp's show with The Weeknd.[1:15:32]   Ooh, am I going to be slow jacking under the covers.[1:15:36]   This is what I do when I don't want Jules[1:15:38]   to know that I'm slow jacking.[1:15:40]   I just push.[1:15:41]   I'm under the blanket like this.[1:15:43]   And I push the blanket up with one hand and I go.[1:15:47]   And this is all blanket.[1:15:49]   So I've tented an area.[1:15:51]   She's sitting there like, he's just being normal.[1:15:54]   And I'm going.[1:15:56]   Do you ever hear me, Jules?[1:15:57]   Just out of nowhere go.[1:15:58]   I'm going to be doing that to that Lily Rose Depp on this new show.[1:16:14]   So you heard it was torture porn.[1:16:15]   I heard it was torture porn.[1:16:16]   Did you hear this?[1:16:17]   The Weeknd's got a new show coming out on HBO.[1:16:19]   They say it makes you.[1:16:20]   This is what Philip DeFranco said.[1:16:24]   He says it makes you euphoria look like a children's book.[1:16:28]   Yeah, right.[1:16:29]   You can't make euphoria look like a children's book.[1:16:32]   Sorry.[1:16:33]   It's a little too far.[1:16:34]   But apparently, The Weeknd and Johnny Depp's daughter,[1:16:39]   who also kind of looks like Megamind,[1:16:44]   she's got a Megamind kind of head.[1:16:47]   They're doing this show on HBO.[1:16:49]   It's kind of like an entourage type show.[1:16:51]   But there's a lot of.[1:16:54]   And this isn't what I was going to say about the jacking off has[1:16:56]   nothing to do with the rape fantasies that Rolling Stone is describing.[1:17:01]   It is like a rape.[1:17:02]   But I think they think any sex is rape.[1:17:05]   You know what I mean?[1:17:06]   Like sex on TV is rape, and it's done by the guy who did.[1:17:10]   What's his name?[1:17:11]   John Levingston.[1:17:13]   Yes, I'm serious.[1:17:14]   I'm asking you real questions.[1:17:16]   Sam Levinson is doing this and he's done what?[1:17:19]   Spider-Man or euphoria?[1:17:21]   I'm serious.[1:17:22]   That's it.[1:17:22]   He's done euphoria.[1:17:24]   And euphoria has got this really hot blonde chick in it.[1:17:28]   Really hot blonde chick in euphoria.[1:17:31]   That's Josh Denny's favorite one.[1:17:33]   The blonde from Euphoria, aka the trans.[1:17:39]   Disgusting worst part of the show.[1:17:41]   All right, we're going to start our show today with a prayer.[1:17:43]   That was just the intro.[1:17:45]   This prayer.[1:17:46]   You know, I know a lot of you need God in your lives.[1:17:49]   That's all I hear you guys talk about is how you got to let God into your life.[1:17:53]   He'll be the one I saw Brian Callan with George Janko.[1:17:56]   You know, Brian Callan is a full on believer.[1:17:58]   It's funny.[1:17:59]   Everybody who hated the vaccine believes in God now.[1:18:05]   I don't know how that happened.[1:18:07]   Oh, they've always believed in it, of course.[1:18:10]   And so this prayer is necessary.[1:18:13]   I believe in God, by the way, too.[1:18:15]   I mean, I'm huge into God.[1:18:16]   All I do is think about the God stuff.[1:18:19]   This is a prayer from.[1:18:21]   You got a new move with your sweater today.[1:18:22]   Is it itching you or something?[1:18:24]   I want this part and this is pissing me off.[1:18:27]   I do this thing where I want this folded over like this.[1:18:31]   And what happens is during the show, it flips back up and goes like this.[1:18:35]   But I want it perfectly like this.[1:18:38]   And I'm willing to fix it every three seconds in order to keep that feeling alive.[1:18:45]   Plus, I like touching myself.[1:18:47]   I like getting lost tonight.[1:18:51]   She don't act whack tonight.[1:18:53]   You got to see this prayer and it's from a guy that you know and love, Lex Fridman.[1:18:58]   OK, give it up for Lex.[1:19:00]   Is it by Lex Fridman?[1:19:02]   Yes, I love Lex Fridman because he is very romantic.[1:19:07]   And if he had a girlfriend, he would cherish her forever.[1:19:12]   He would never make the mistake of not wanting to be around that person because love is all that ever matters.[1:19:21]   Sincerely, Lex.[1:19:27]   I mean, he really does that.[1:19:28]   If you talk to him, he ends the sentence with, Sincerely, Lex.[1:19:35]   Sincerely.[1:19:36]   OK.[1:19:37]   Lex Fridman's hair is bogus.[1:19:40]   Anyone talk about that?[1:19:42]   I hear people make fun of Lex all the time.[1:19:43]   What about those spikes that he has?[1:19:46]   He has poor person hair spikes.[1:19:51]   Notice his hair?[1:19:52]   Now, did we see him in this video here?[1:19:53]   I didn't watch this.[1:19:54]   I heard it in the background.[1:19:56]   The Lex Fridman podcast.[1:19:58]   And yeah, it is Fridman.[1:20:00]   Do you know he's Jewish?[1:20:02]   He also has disgusting lips.[1:20:05]   You ever taken a look at Lex lips?[1:20:07]   So what is he doing?[1:20:08]   Oh, God, I hate this guy.[1:20:10]   I really can't stand him.[1:20:12]   I think his podcast is whack.[1:20:15]   I think his lips are disgusting.[1:20:17]   His hair is basically Philip DeFranco hair.[1:20:22]   It's the same kind of thing where it starts spiking out everywhere.[1:20:28]   You know, he doesn't have nice hair.[1:20:30]   I really wish somebody would beat him to death.[1:20:35]   With words.[1:20:36]   Here it is.[1:20:37]   This Lex Fridman praise with Omar.[1:20:39]   Are we supposed to know who this person is?[1:20:41]   I don't know who it is.[1:20:42]   Do you guys know this?[1:20:43]   Omar Schulman.[1:20:44]   Omar Solomon.[1:20:46]   So here he is doing a prayer.[1:20:48]   And I'd like to have everybody join hands.[1:20:52]   Let's involve ourselves in this mysterious prayer.[1:20:55]   Okay, let's get lost tonight.[1:20:57]   Here we are.[1:20:59]   Make sure you like it.[1:21:00]   Make sure you subscribe.[1:21:15]   This is real.[1:21:20]   So we've got Lex Fridman.[1:21:21]   Oh, Al Qaeda font.[1:21:26]   If this font, I feel like this is offensive.[1:21:30]   I don't get offended by many things, but this font pisses me off.[1:21:34]   This is the font of Abu Akbar and all the terrorists before him.[1:21:40]   And I just feel like enough with it.[1:21:43]   This font makes me feel unsafe.[1:21:46]   It's not even a font.[1:21:48]   It's hand drawn.[1:21:50]   So you got Lex Fridman standing with this guy.[1:21:52]   It looks like he played b-ball.[1:21:54]   And now he's doing this.[1:21:56]   This bullshit.[1:21:57]   By the way, this is horseshit.[1:22:00]   Okay?[1:22:01]   To stand around and do this with your life as an adult.[1:22:05]   This praying, this singing.[1:22:08]   You know, you hear Andrew Tato.[1:22:10]   He's a profound Muslim now.[1:22:14]   It's disgusting.[1:22:16]   And I just can't believe you're actually doing something like this with your life.[1:22:21]   So Lex and him are in some office space.[1:22:25]   He has made me a blessing wherever I go and bid me to establish prayer and give.[1:22:30]   It's insane.[1:22:32]   And you got this guy here, a Harlem Globetrotter.[1:22:35]   He's freezing cold.[1:22:37]   Well, he's just doing his job.[1:22:38]   What's Lex doing?[1:22:39]   Freezing cold.[1:22:40]   And then Lex is behind him looking very short.[1:22:43]   I mean, Lex is a short guy.[1:22:45]   He's like 5'6".[1:22:46]   People hate short people out of line.[1:22:48]   This whole podcast scene that we're in where we harass people hates the short.[1:22:55]   That's one of the main things people start doing about people.[1:22:58]   Oh, what's his height?[1:23:00]   Shorter than me?[1:23:02]   Then he sucks.[1:23:04]   And I agree with that.[1:23:06]   So we're all in the height.[1:23:09]   He's got an ID in the window there.[1:23:12]   I just wanted to appreciate other cultures.[1:23:16]   And this is that hair I was talking about where it's always spike.[1:23:19]   He doesn't use any hair product.[1:23:22]   It's just always like a kid's type of spike.[1:23:25]   Look how he shaves the sideburn here.[1:23:27]   Anyone who does this is a complete psychopath.[1:23:30]   Imagine if I came in right now, shave this just like this.[1:23:34]   Click, click.[1:23:36]   For what?[1:23:37]   To look stupid and scary?[1:23:40]   Look at that.[1:23:41]   I've always hated that when people chop this off.[1:23:43]   And it's always these DeFranco type spiky hair guys that I'm talking about where you can see the sweat through their hair.[1:23:50]   Their hair is always like sweaty.[1:23:52]   And as it sweats together, it creates sweat spikes that you can see through.[1:23:58]   And they always chop their sideburns.[1:24:00]   And what happens is their sideburns become 3D spikes.[1:24:04]   So if they had a sideburn like mine, it would be like off the skin.[1:24:10]   It'd be like an inch off the skin and in three or four spikes.[1:24:15]   Like a downwards Bart Simpson thing going on like that.[1:24:19]   And that might be why they clip it off.[1:24:22]   And why this move?[1:24:23]   Why go diagonal like that?[1:24:25]   Why not straight?[1:24:27]   I mean this guy is so sick, I really, really, really, really, REALLY want to capture him.[1:24:34]   You know?[1:24:35]   You can't say hurt people.[1:24:37]   You could say capture.[1:24:38]   We asked our lawyers about this.[1:24:39]   You could threaten to capture people.[1:24:41]   Since it's such a...[1:24:43]   It's like a game.[1:24:44]   Yeah.[1:24:45]   Okay, so here he is.[1:24:46]   Let's just listen to his prayer and have some fun.[1:24:48]   We'll smudge the room.[1:24:50]   Oh, you guys want to smudge the room?[1:24:53]   Hey, I figured out smudging, by the way.[1:24:55]   You guys know smudging?[1:24:56]   We'll play the prayer.[1:24:57]   We'll smudge.[1:24:58]   And then I'll tell you how smudging is fake.[1:25:01]   Back ahead, you fucking pussies![1:25:16]   Imagine not...[1:25:17]   The only reason you should be behind somebody praying like that is if you're slowly walking up to them with one of these.[1:25:25]   Screw a silencer on?[1:25:26]   Look at what they have on the window.[1:25:27]   What are they about to do?[1:25:28]   What is in the window?[1:25:29]   Let's see.[1:25:34]   Oh, okay.[1:25:36]   C4 wiring.[1:25:40]   We've got an Abu Bamir.[1:25:43]   I just hate this whole shit.[1:25:45]   Does Lex know what's about to happen?[1:25:47]   Oh my god.[1:25:48]   This is the scene we've got.[1:25:50]   And this is being posted on the...[1:25:51]   I can't believe that I was born in a time where this exists.[1:25:56]   Oh, sorry.[1:25:57]   I can't believe I was born in a time where whatever I'm seeing on this screen, whatever this is, this exists.[1:26:04]   And it's supposed to be respected and serious.[1:26:07]   There's a man bending over going,[1:26:10]   Ay-ya-la-la-la-ya-ya-ma-na-ya.[1:26:14]   And then Lex is going,[1:26:16]   Oh dear god, this is just sincere to me.[1:26:19]   This is a very important moment.[1:26:21]   And then there's what looks like a homemade explosive tied up to the window with a bunch of cords leading to Lex's pant.[1:26:30]   This shouldn't exist.[1:26:32]   This frame doesn't make sense.[1:26:35]   We've got to wake up from this nonsense, guys.[1:26:40]   I just don't know what's going on with the world.[1:26:42]   Wherever this is, why did it need to take place?[1:26:47]   Why is this happening under any circumstance in today's world?[1:26:54]   And I think you could start here before you start arguing.[1:26:59]   You know, they've politicized the train derailment with the chemical.[1:27:05]   You go to that town, remember?[1:27:06]   It was like, those ain't storm clouds.[1:27:08]   It's the damn chemical from the train.[1:27:13]   I thought the bitch was white.[1:27:17]   Remember that?[1:27:19]   It's good stuff.[1:27:20]   They've politicized that.[1:27:21]   So if you're on the right, the train derailment now is fine and stop worrying about it.[1:27:26]   And if you're on the left, the train derailment is, they've politicized that.[1:27:31]   That's what everybody's up at arms with.[1:27:34]   Instead, they should take a look at this frame and go, okay.[1:27:37]   What could we do about not having this go on in our time?[1:27:45]   I mean, I just don't understand what could be happening here that needs to happen.[1:27:48]   All right, we're smoking more.[1:27:50]   Watch this video.[1:27:51]   Oh![1:27:52]   Oh![1:27:53]   What the fuck?[1:27:54]   Oh my God, Lex down.[1:27:57]   Now, I hope he's about to do a somersault,[1:28:00]   but it looks like he's just following the lead of this guy.[1:28:03]   So we got like a human centipede.[1:28:05]   They're ducking because the enemy is about to shoot out the window.[1:28:12]   Wouldn't that be great if he farted and turned Lex into a skeleton?[1:28:17]   I mean, look what is happening here.[1:28:22]   We were born in the wrong time, you know?[1:28:27]   A long time ago.[1:28:31]   I'm trying to enjoy myself here.[1:28:37]   He's in a full suit.[1:28:49]   Thank you so much for allowing me to participate in your beautiful culture.[1:28:56]   This experience has enlightened me to let love in,[1:29:03]   which is something I wish more people will appreciate.[1:29:09]   Seriously, somebody needs to kill him, execute him.[1:29:11]   Nobody ever gets executed anymore.[1:29:14]   It's a joke, your honor, just a joke.[1:29:17]   You've got to say it's a joke now because there are so many psychos out there.[1:29:20]   I really have to say it's a joke after everything.[1:29:22]   Wow, Lex isn't good enough to get a little praise.[1:29:25]   He doesn't have to get a little prayer rug.[1:29:27]   He has to do it straight on the floor.[1:29:28]   So this guy's got a prayer rug with this very kooky,[1:29:31]   this looks like some red bars watching art.[1:29:33]   His prayer probably doesn't even count now.[1:29:35]   I mean.[1:29:37]   His hands are on the dirty cattle floor.[1:29:40]   Look at the outfit.[1:29:41]   I mean, this is the stupid and this guy cuts his sideburn here too.[1:29:45]   He leaves a gap.[1:29:47]   The beard could never be connected to the hair in the Muslim religion.[1:29:52]   You know, that's a bad, bad thing.[1:29:54]   I mean, put a bullet in this guy's head.[1:29:56]   You should be behind him taking out a silencer from your suit in[1:30:03]   Homeland.[1:30:04]   You ever seen Homeland?[1:30:07]   All right, we're just smoking weed and listening to the prayers.[1:30:09]   No big deal.[1:30:11]   Finish up this joint here and then we'll finally start the show.[1:30:15]   OK, guys, big red bar today.[1:30:17]   Thanks for coming out.[1:30:19]   Scar's Club all the way.[1:30:22]   This thing keeps going out.[1:30:23]   This is what he's fucking doing with his son.[1:30:25]   I don't want to see any of you praying anymore.[1:30:27]   Psychos.[1:30:32]   How many years do we have to joke around about how psycho it is before we[1:30:36]   have to go, OK.[1:30:38]   This is psycho.[1:30:44]   This is mindful meditation.[1:30:46]   There's nothing mindful about this.[1:30:50]   This is making me really upset here watching this.[1:30:54]   We're just watching Lex lose himself.[1:31:01]   Oh, he doesn't know where to go.[1:31:02]   He doesn't quite know much.[1:31:04]   Oh, OK.[1:31:05]   No, laugh it off.[1:31:06]   No, I'm not going to say anything.[1:31:08]   You're not going to say anything.[1:31:10]   Oh, good game.[1:31:16]   And it's like I guarantee your God wouldn't be OK with you slapping hands[1:31:21]   with a Jew.[1:31:22]   You know, you're going to take the praying.[1:31:24]   Praying.[1:31:25]   If you take it so serious where you're on the floor praying with a mat,[1:31:29]   then you can't shake the Jews hand at the end and give them a cool Michael[1:31:33]   Jordan hug.[1:31:34]   Now.[1:31:36]   It's like either follow the religion or don't.[1:31:41]   Makes me fucking sick, absolutely sick.[1:31:43]   I really can't wait.[1:31:44]   And I'm going to go out with a bang, too.[1:31:46]   You might want to tell the police this.[1:31:49]   No, no, do not.[1:31:50]   I'm just joking about all the killing stuff is just an extreme joke.[1:31:54]   It's like an Eminem song.[1:31:56]   OK, it's all it is.[1:31:57]   It's just an Eminem podcast.[1:31:59]   OK, we've got a lot of cool stuff to tell you.[1:32:01]   That was just all the shitty stuff at the beginning of the hour.[1:32:04]   Let's do this.[1:32:05]   Let's do we did we are we watch knock.[1:32:09]   OK, this is all this late news.[1:32:12]   I got I want to tell people all that stuff, too.[1:32:15]   You'll get back to it.[1:32:16]   I'll get back to that.[1:32:17]   I'm just going down my list.[1:32:18]   Watching girls the best clipper.[1:32:20]   Oh, yeah.[1:32:21]   We're looking for people to clip the show on YouTube.[1:32:24]   Do you have what it takes to become Red Bar's next clipper?[1:32:28]   We're looking for Clippers.[1:32:31]   We should get one of these graphics where it shows that we're in the green[1:32:35]   with Clippers.[1:32:36]   So clip away, not from Scars Club episodes.[1:32:40]   And you could get striked if you clip.[1:32:43]   All right, let's do this light news.[1:32:44]   You want to do some light news?[1:32:45]   We don't have a theme song yet, but I guess we could do some light news here[1:32:49]   today and theme song coming next week.[1:32:51]   We're going to finally have our light news theme song come next week[1:32:54]   because we're going to be picking a winner.[1:32:57]   I'm very excited to give out that thousand dollars to somebody void[1:33:00]   where prohibited.[1:33:03]   You say that at the end of any contest, you can get out of anything.[1:33:06]   That's a good prize.[1:33:07]   Ethan is having a contest.[1:33:08]   I know Ethan Klein is having a contest.[1:33:10]   Listen to this.[1:33:11]   That is way much a lot of work.[1:33:14]   Speaking of Ethan Klein, cut to me.[1:33:16]   Look at this.[1:33:17]   You might notice here I got a little stack of shirts.[1:33:19]   Get me some retail music on in the background, Jules.[1:33:22]   Some nice retail store music.[1:33:24]   And I'll show you these shirts.[1:33:26]   I got three shirts here to show you in a new segment.[1:33:29]   We're calling Fools Merge.[1:33:33]   Is it worth it?[1:33:34]   Well, I'll tell you, you know, we very rarely Red Bar releases merch.[1:33:40]   I get asked every day when's there going to be new merch.[1:33:43]   I love how everybody's gotten in this mindset from all these schemers[1:33:46]   out there who are selling you.[1:33:48]   Thank you.[1:33:49]   Selling you new stuff every week, every two weeks.[1:33:52]   So you're in this mindset where, oh, a podcast should have full clothing[1:33:57]   line available to us 24 seven.[1:34:01]   I understand Red Bar merch would be exciting to wear if I listen to Red Bar.[1:34:05]   I definitely want the shirt.[1:34:07]   But I think that's why you got to pump the brakes.[1:34:10]   You got to make these shirts special.[1:34:12]   I mean, a shirt should be special.[1:34:14]   You know, when I go to these, this song's bothering me.[1:34:18]   It is retail.[1:34:19]   I'll give you that.[1:34:20]   That was retail.[1:34:21]   You were right.[1:34:25]   We've got podcast shirts from two podcasts here.[1:34:29]   The first being Ethan Klein and Teddy Fresh.[1:34:32]   And, you know, I might have figured out why Ethan looks so stupid all the time.[1:34:39]   You know how Ethan looks so faggoty,[1:34:41]   like maybe throw up a picture of like Ethan Klein in a T-shirt looking horrendous.[1:34:46]   Maybe you could find that.[1:34:47]   And I think we figured it out here.[1:34:50]   And it could be all because of Mama Hila.[1:34:54]   Of course, we call her Mama here because there was a[1:34:58]   there was an episode where they were talking to Papa John.[1:35:01]   Remember this?[1:35:02]   Hila and Ethan were interviewing Papa John and[1:35:05]   Papa John was being fired from Papa John for saying the n-word in a news meeting.[1:35:11]   So Hila, you know, the camera cuts to Hila.[1:35:14]   She didn't say much back then,[1:35:16]   but she was doing her Israeli shake and she goes,[1:35:19]   Have you ever thought of starting maybe second business, Mama?[1:35:25]   Have you ever thought of starting second business, Mama?[1:35:30]   That's how she said it in her broken English.[1:35:33]   And, you know, because it's Papa John's.[1:35:36]   Obviously, you would say something like this.[1:35:38]   Have you ever thought of starting like a second business,[1:35:40]   maybe something called Mama John's?[1:35:45]   But she just said, Have you ever considered second business, Mama?[1:35:50]   And we played that clip over and over again.[1:35:53]   We laughed and left and left.[1:35:54]   So we call Hila, one of our inside jokes.[1:35:56]   We call her Mama.[1:35:58]   OK.[1:35:59]   Now, is that similar to Bappa from Fighter and the Kid Reddit?[1:36:03]   Because that makes me sick.[1:36:05]   Bappa, you know what made me sick?[1:36:08]   They spell HADER.[1:36:10]   H-A-D-D-E-R.[1:36:13]   HADER.[1:36:15]   So they were all spelling wrong on the Fighter and the Kid Reddit.[1:36:17]   I found that out.[1:36:19]   I saw this article about me on the Fighter and the Kid Reddit that says,[1:36:22]   he doesn't understand Reddit.[1:36:24]   You're right.[1:36:25]   Because you're spelling things wrong.[1:36:27]   Instead of Papa, they write, they think Papa is spelled with a B.[1:36:31]   And HADER, the word they think is spelled,[1:36:34]   you're never going to believe this, Jules.[1:36:36]   The fight, tell everyone, clip this starting here.[1:36:38]   Dude, the Fighter and the Kid Reddit thinks the word HADER is spelled H-A-D-D-E-R[1:36:44]   and they all mess it up.[1:36:45]   I don't know what's going on because I don't get Reddit.[1:36:50]   Clip that, send it to them with a bill.[1:36:53]   No, I'm just kidding.[1:36:55]   I'm trying to mend.[1:36:56]   You can't mend with these people.[1:36:58]   You cannot mend anything with a subreddit.[1:37:01]   You know, and traditionally subreddits hate me.[1:37:03]   Any subreddit.[1:37:05]   You put me in any subreddit, I'm through.[1:37:07]   You tend to rub them the wrong way.[1:37:09]   So, okay.[1:37:10]   Well, is there maybe a certain type of person that subreddits are made out of?[1:37:14]   We bring the doctor in next week to find out.[1:37:18]   And finally settle this once and for all.[1:37:21]   Alright, we're going to show you this.[1:37:22]   Hila Klein's got a business called Teddy Fresh, her and Ethan.[1:37:26]   And if you didn't know, this isn't just like Andrew Schultz's Fashon.[1:37:31]   By the way, that's what Andrew Schultz's merch line is called.[1:37:34]   Fashon.[1:37:35]   And he's pretending to mock fashion while being a huge part of it.[1:37:39]   You know, it was even in a fashion show.[1:37:42]   That fool's fashion show with Theo Vaughn, Andrew Santino and Andrew Schultz.[1:37:47]   They looked ridiculous and they didn't even know they were being set up to look like clowns.[1:37:52]   That wasn't even stuff from their line.[1:37:54]   They literally said, you know, the designer who did this fashion show, why don't you send me a link to that?[1:38:00]   I've got some inside info.[1:38:01]   It's going to blow your mind.[1:38:02]   Did you see this?[1:38:03]   Theo Vaughn, Andrew Schultz, Andrew Santino.[1:38:05]   They were all bragging about how they were at Fashion Week in Paris.[1:38:09]   Oh my God.[1:38:10]   I'm so embarrassed.[1:38:15]   They were at Fashion Week in Paris.[1:38:21]   And they got asked by some designer.[1:38:23]   What's the designer's name, Jules?[1:38:25]   Kid Super.[1:38:27]   Kid Super.[1:38:28]   They got asked to walk in his fashion show.[1:38:31]   And they said, what we're going to do is we're going to do a stand up comedy fashion show.[1:38:35]   You each go up there and you do your routine instead of walk the runway.[1:38:39]   Now what these comedians didn't know is that none of the clothes were actually part of the show.[1:38:48]   They were joke clothes that the designer made to see how stupid comedians actually were and what they would wear.[1:39:00]   So we'll show you a clip from this.[1:39:01]   This is Kid Super's fashion show.[1:39:03]   You've probably seen these pictures of Theo and all them wearing these funny suits.[1:39:08]   They actually put these clothes on thinking that it was just fashion that they didn't kind of understand.[1:39:16]   I'll show you this.[1:39:17]   Here's Andrew Santino in the worst of them.[1:39:19]   And Andrew Santino didn't know that he was actually the butt of the joke.[1:39:26]   Kid Super, these are not clothes from the line.[1:39:28]   After the comedians left, Kid Super revealed this to the audience, to the private audience and told them these guys are idiots.[1:39:36]   Look at this.[1:39:37]   So tell everybody that version of this.[1:39:41]   Here is Andrew Santino.[1:39:43]   You're going to love this.[1:39:44]   And then we'll show you some fools fashion coming up.[1:39:46]   Here you go.[1:39:50]   Cheers, everybody, to a wonderful Jewish red rock.[1:39:55]   Thank you for that mediocre bullshit applause.[1:39:57]   I appreciate that.[1:39:59]   I look good as fuck, man.[1:40:00]   Fuck you guys.[1:40:02]   Santino.[1:40:03]   You want me to do it again? I'll do it again.[1:40:04]   That was rude.[1:40:05]   That was rude.[1:40:06]   Here he comes.[1:40:07]   I'll pause when we get a good shot.[1:40:09]   Give it up for Andrew Santino.[1:40:16]   OK.[1:40:17]   So here he is.[1:40:18]   And again, Kid Super's idea.[1:40:20]   You know, everybody's doing a fashion show this week.[1:40:23]   He goes, what if I did one where these comedians come up and we pick like the three biggest, like, bullshit, mainstream,[1:40:34]   commercial live readers that we could find?[1:40:37]   You know, this was an artist.[1:40:39]   And this artist set these people up to show you, look, they'll do anything that you ask.[1:40:45]   These are not philosophers.[1:40:48]   These are not comedians.[1:40:49]   These are birthday clowns.[1:40:52]   And so what he did is an abstract view on how the average comedian today is a child's birthday clown.[1:40:59]   He gave them these suits and told them, oh, yeah, these are part of our line.[1:41:04]   And then they wore these as a serious showing.[1:41:09]   And they go, I don't understand fashion, really.[1:41:11]   But, you know, I guess because you know how some people do that.[1:41:15]   Fashion shows are pretty wacky, but they're not this wacky.[1:41:19]   So they were all made to look like complete fools.[1:41:22]   Here's Andrew Santino.[1:41:27]   Thank you so much.[1:41:28]   God bless you, Paris.[1:41:30]   What a great city, man.[1:41:31]   This is incredible.[1:41:32]   I've never done this before because I've red hair.[1:41:36]   So thank you for having me.[1:41:38]   You got to hear a stand up, too.[1:41:40]   It's really bad.[1:41:41]   We'll let it play for a little bit.[1:41:42]   Did you guys see this full show?[1:41:44]   You should check out the full show.[1:41:45]   Check out the full show.[1:41:46]   It's called Kid Super Comedy Show.[1:41:48]   Andrew Schultz, Theo Vaughn, Jeff Ross, Jay Balvin and more.[1:41:53]   We'll be in the epicenter of bulimia.[1:41:56]   Food's too good to be anorexic.[1:41:58]   So thank you so much.[1:42:00]   Shout out to Kid Super for making dope shit.[1:42:02]   This is so cool.[1:42:03]   How about that?[1:42:04]   Shout out to Kid Super for making dope shit.[1:42:06]   This is so cool, isn't it?[1:42:08]   No.[1:42:11]   It's a clown suit shot with paintball.[1:42:15]   It's bad.[1:42:16]   I mean, this is bad.[1:42:18]   But this, if he came up with this and went like this a little bit, that's nicer.[1:42:22]   Something you could see yourself in.[1:42:24]   Nobody's wearing this.[1:42:26]   Nobody's wearing this.[1:42:27]   Maybe the two clowns from Modern Family.[1:42:31]   Oh, those brothers.[1:42:32]   This is me, by the way.[1:42:34]   Drive.[1:42:35]   I'm in the back and the two guys from Modern Family are panicking.[1:42:39]   Put your phones down.[1:42:41]   Drive.[1:42:42]   Where are we going?[1:42:43]   You'll see.[1:42:45]   That's my fucking dream, by the way.[1:42:47]   Two guns and a vaccine with Modern Family gay couple.[1:42:53]   Ooh, imagine pushing the gun against their head and making them sick to their stomachs.[1:42:57]   I'm gonna hang it out with Michael Knowles again.[1:42:59]   Well, yeah, maybe we'll show you why.[1:43:01]   I can't endorse Michael Knowles anymore.[1:43:03]   I mean, Michael Knowles went off the deep end.[1:43:05]   He wants all gay people to die, which is something like I wanted when I was younger.[1:43:11]   You couldn't have been like this when I was in seventh?[1:43:15]   When I was in seventh grade, if there was a guy on TV saying, we got to exterminate all gay people, I'd be like, you know, finally.[1:43:23]   But now it seems too much.[1:43:29]   OK.[1:43:30]   Here it is.[1:43:31]   Andrew Santino with this thing.[1:43:32]   And then we'll go over some fool's fashion coming up.[1:43:36]   I look like I run a bathhouse and I'm an art dealer at night.[1:43:39]   So listen to these.[1:43:40]   Listen to the jokes of this professional comedian.[1:43:44]   What did he say here?[1:43:45]   Listen, I look like I run a bathhouse and I'm an art dealer at night.[1:43:49]   I look like I run a bathhouse and I'm an art dealer at night.[1:43:53]   No, sorry.[1:43:54]   Tony Hinchcliffe now looks like an art dealer.[1:43:58]   A gallery woman.[1:44:00]   This doesn't look like anything from a bathhouse or art dealer at night.[1:44:05]   I mean, that's just such low level funny.[1:44:09]   How is that accepted?[1:44:11]   So he asked me if I wanted to take out the purse.[1:44:15]   I said a little too much, a little too much.[1:44:17]   But the jizz rag can go right around my neck.[1:44:20]   I don't understand the outfit because I'm not a smart man.[1:44:23]   I don't get the culture, but I appreciate it.[1:44:25]   See, they think they're wearing like Balenciaga that's kind of weird and baggy that they don't quite get.[1:44:30]   But no, this is like eight steps farther than that.[1:44:34]   You could have said no.[1:44:36]   If somebody handed this to me, I'd go no, no, no.[1:44:38]   Got anything cooler?[1:44:40]   Got anything a little more reasonable?[1:44:43]   But not Santino.[1:44:45]   Dumb Santino thought this was like the same thing as wearing some Vivente blouse.[1:44:50]   I don't know if this is impressionism or autism.[1:44:53]   That's how stupid he is.[1:44:55]   Last time I was in a French speaking city, I was lonely.[1:44:58]   I was lonely. I wanted a companion, a female companion.[1:45:01]   And I was walking around.[1:45:02]   This is incredible.[1:45:04]   This is incredible that I did this out of whim.[1:45:07]   Wait till you hear what he says.[1:45:09]   Andrew Santino, what we claim about him.[1:45:13]   Well, what we allege, what we hope.[1:45:18]   You know, here at Redbar, we don't know what's true.[1:45:21]   We don't know what's true.[1:45:22]   We get the same news as you.[1:45:24]   The New York Times, CNN.[1:45:27]   We get the same news as you.[1:45:30]   We don't know things at Redbar.[1:45:33]   We hope things.[1:45:36]   So when they said Chris D'Elia allegedly raped, I go allegedly, I hope he raped.[1:45:44]   People go, oh Mike, don't you hope he didn't rape?[1:45:46]   No.[1:45:47]   No, I hope he's done way worse than they say.[1:45:51]   I hope and wish for that daily.[1:45:55]   So I've always hoped that Santino cheats on his wife.[1:45:58]   I don't know if it's true.[1:45:59]   I've heard a lot of rumors.[1:46:02]   He seems like that kind of person, right?[1:46:06]   You know, if you hear Andrew Santino talk, you look at him, you go, oh, this guy cheats.[1:46:10]   And he doesn't think it's any big deal to cheat.[1:46:13]   I think if you cheat on your wife, it's really not a worse thing you could do.[1:46:18]   I can't imagine.[1:46:20]   Cheating, right guys?[1:46:25]   Just grabbing another black fucking Jamaican chick by her braids and doing a face pull.[1:46:35]   See, everything is workout related.[1:46:37]   I took a black, I have, instead of a cable system, I have this black woman from Jamaica and she stands there.[1:46:43]   She's seven feet tall and I take her, I use her as like a tricep rope and I take this black person and then her head hits my dangling and I go like this.[1:46:54]   And then I do these face pulls too, which are really good for the triceps.[1:46:59]   I do this one where she's behind me.[1:47:04]   Like that for triceps.[1:47:06]   What else do I do?[1:47:07]   I do lap pull downs where I take one of her braids, I flip it over and make it into a bar and I go.[1:47:16]   And by the time I'm done with this, I need a full new black lady because she's covered in blood and her hair's all ripped out.[1:47:25]   So, uh, but wouldn't that be funny if my gym, all my gym stuff was just black people.[1:47:29]   Like I have four tall black woman and then other black woman as my power cage for black woman standing, you know, like that to make a cage.[1:47:42]   I've got one black woman laying across to make a barbell and I go like this with her.[1:47:48]   Wouldn't that be cool?[1:47:49]   Black gym.[1:47:50]   That would be a cool art exhibit.[1:47:54]   A bunch of desperate black woman looking for hope.[1:47:57]   They're just going to get beat up.[1:47:58]   Oh, wait.[1:47:59]   You see, and I use two other black women as crash pads for my deadlifts where I deadlift 885.[1:48:06]   Okay.[1:48:07]   Here he is Santino though.[1:48:08]   Listen to this.[1:48:09]   So we hope Santino cheats right now.[1:48:10]   Listen to this story.[1:48:11]   And only a cheater would tell a story like this.[1:48:14]   She was talking about France, right?[1:48:16]   Because they're in fashion week.[1:48:17]   Listen to this story.[1:48:19]   Just listen.[1:48:20]   Or autism, but either way.[1:48:23]   The last time I was in a French speaking city, I was lonely.[1:48:26]   I was lonely.[1:48:27]   I wanted a companion, a female companion.[1:48:29]   And I was walking around, I saw a sign.[1:48:30]   It said, but I read it a lover.[1:48:33]   Oh, a lover.[1:48:35]   Sorry.[1:48:36]   I wasn't paying attention.[1:48:37]   Or autism, but either way.[1:48:38]   Listen.[1:48:39]   Last time I was in a French speaking city, I was lonely.[1:48:42]   Last time I was in a French speaking city, I was lonely.[1:48:45]   Okay.[1:48:46]   So this is again, if it isn't true, then it's just a really pathetic lie.[1:48:52]   The last time I was in a French speaking city, I was lonely.[1:48:57]   Now I'm sure Xanalytics or CJ Brown, or one of the more trustworthy listeners of the show,[1:49:06]   could go back and figure out when the last time Andrew Santino was in France.[1:49:11]   Now, was he married the last time he was in France?[1:49:15]   I say, yes, because he's been married since he's been a comic.[1:49:18]   Right?[1:49:20]   He's always been married.[1:49:21]   He got married before we all knew it.[1:49:23]   So the last time he was in France, he got lonely.[1:49:27]   Let's hear it.[1:49:28]   But either way.[1:49:29]   You're going to love this, guys.[1:49:30]   The last time I was in a French speaking city, I was lonely.[1:49:32]   I was lonely.[1:49:33]   I wanted a companion, a female companion.[1:49:35]   And I was walking around, I saw a sign.[1:49:37]   It said, but I read it a lover.[1:49:40]   Oh, a lover with a phone number.[1:49:42]   I didn't know.[1:49:43]   It means for rent.[1:49:45]   Didn't know.[1:49:46]   Wait, wait, wait.[1:49:47]   You were lonely.[1:49:49]   You saw a sign that said a lover and you thought it said,[1:49:54]   or you, you thought it said a lover, but it really said for.[1:49:58]   Okay.[1:49:59]   Well, keep listening.[1:50:00]   With a phone number.[1:50:01]   I didn't know.[1:50:02]   Aloe means for rent.[1:50:03]   Didn't know.[1:50:04]   I called her up.[1:50:05]   I was like, Hey, how much?[1:50:07]   She's like 1500.[1:50:09]   I was like, that's a little expensive.[1:50:12]   And she goes, and no pets.[1:50:14]   And I said, for $1,500, I'm going to bring a pet.[1:50:17]   So do you hear what he's doing?[1:50:19]   He saw a sign in French.[1:50:21]   He thought it was a sign for a prostitute.[1:50:24]   So we called it immediately.[1:50:26]   Turns out it was just some landlord renting a space.[1:50:31]   So the joke is that the last time you were here in France,[1:50:36]   you wanted to go to a prostitute.[1:50:39]   You don't even think, see, that's how much he does stuff like this.[1:50:43]   He doesn't even think that's abnormal.[1:50:45]   He doesn't even think there's a problem with it.[1:50:47]   Ah, stupid me.[1:50:48]   You know, I was trying to go to a prostitute.[1:50:50]   It turns out it was just a rental.[1:50:51]   Wait, you were trying to go to a prostitute?[1:50:54]   You know, that's psycho.[1:50:56]   By the way, I got to put my foot down with this.[1:50:59]   Going to a prostitute is the same thing as like being a murderer.[1:51:03]   That is a full rape.[1:51:07]   I do not support the sex industry for women.[1:51:11]   OnlyFans is completely disgusting.[1:51:17]   Doing porn is completely disgusting.[1:51:19]   Going to a prostitute under any circumstance is psychotic.[1:51:25]   And also scary.[1:51:27]   I'll put it on the same scariness level.[1:51:30]   Listen to this.[1:51:32]   Imagine breaking into a family's house at three.[1:51:36]   Three, two, that's hard.[1:51:38]   Imagine breaking into a suburban family's house at 3 a.m.[1:51:44]   You pick their lock.[1:51:46]   You slide the glass door open and you creep quietly to the main parent's room.[1:51:56]   And you shut the door.[1:51:58]   You creep quietly to the children's room.[1:52:05]   And then you just, you're playing around in the house.[1:52:07]   That's scary, right?[1:52:08]   It's scary to be a murderer.[1:52:10]   People don't think about that.[1:52:12]   People don't think about how scary it would be to enter someone else's home even as the murderer.[1:52:18]   How scary is that?[1:52:19]   To kill somebody, now you're seeing a murder right there and you're in someone else's home.[1:52:25]   It's great.[1:52:26]   That's the same level of craziness to me.[1:52:29]   It would be to lie to your wife, get in your Pontiac, drive to the strip motel.[1:52:38]   You know, like a Michael Ray Bowers style house.[1:52:40]   It's a two level L.A. motel with the stairs.[1:52:43]   You see him in every movie.[1:52:44]   And you go to that door and the black woman with her teeth, she's got a tooth, teeth, teeth.[1:52:51]   And she goes, yeah, I got a guy downstairs.[1:52:55]   If you don't pay me, he'll kill you.[1:52:56]   Oh, that's fine.[1:52:57]   I'll have sex with a black woman with no teeth while a guy's outside wanting to kill me illegally.[1:53:04]   This is also all illegal.[1:53:06]   And then you hear people like Jim Norton go, oh, yeah, I was at a prostitute the other day.[1:53:10]   It was wonderful.[1:53:11]   And they all laugh.[1:53:12]   It was wonderful.[1:53:14]   You committed a crime and it's still illegal.[1:53:19]   But guys like Santino, they're so scumbaggy.[1:53:22]   They're such cheaters.[1:53:23]   They're such sex addicts that they think going to a prostitute is a premise,[1:53:29]   an understandable and relatable premise for a casual joke at a fashion show.[1:53:37]   That's wild to me.[1:53:39]   And for him to write a premise like that, it must mean that even if this didn't happen,[1:53:47]   it's something he would do to such casually say this.[1:53:52]   Here it is.[1:53:53]   $1,500.[1:53:54]   I was like, that's a little expensive.[1:53:57]   And she goes, and no pets.[1:53:59]   And I said, for $1,500, I'm going to bring a pet.[1:54:02]   So that's it.[1:54:03]   I made her $1,500.[1:54:04]   Thanks a lot.[1:54:05]   I appreciate it.[1:54:06]   Thanks for having me.[1:54:07]   Goodbye.[1:54:08]   Good night.[1:54:09]   So you go to prostitutes.[1:54:11]   Tell his wife.[1:54:13]   Everybody tells you.[1:54:14]   By the way, if anyone can get me a direct contact to his wife, I'll pay you $500.[1:54:18]   Illegal direct contact to his wife.[1:54:21]   Get me some retail music.[1:54:22]   Maybe his wife is a prostitute and that's how he met her.[1:54:25]   Yeah, that could be true.[1:54:27]   It's like Chris D'Elia's wife is probably just one of the cult members that said yes.[1:54:33]   If you ask 700 women to be in a cult, one's going to say yes.[1:54:38]   His wife, Kristen looks like three different people on this season of The Bachelor.[1:54:44]   She's everywhere.[1:54:45]   There's a lot of Chris.[1:54:46]   I'm actually becoming attracted to Chris D'Elia's wife quite heavily.[1:54:49]   Yes.[1:54:50]   This Christian.[1:54:51]   Is it?[1:54:52]   You know how you jack off to people on Instagram?[1:54:56]   Is it wrong?[1:54:58]   Would it be wrong for me to jack off to Chris D'Elia's wife, knowing what we've all been[1:55:03]   through with all this Chris D'Elia stuff on the show?[1:55:07]   Would you find it to be wrong if every day I jacked off to just pictures of her in her[1:55:12]   wedding dress, pictures of her with Calvin?[1:55:16]   Are you allowed to jack off to a girl if there's a kid in the picture?[1:55:20]   I just say yes to everything to see how far you'll go.[1:55:23]   I wouldn't go anywhere near.[1:55:28]   But everybody would be like, dude, this red burger, it's crazy.[1:55:31]   He said that he jacks off to Chris D'Elia's, which you're allowed to do.[1:55:36]   I'm allowed to jack off to any picture, any picture to tell people.[1:55:41]   That's what you want.[1:55:42]   The Tfac Reddit.[1:55:43]   I want this upvoted to the top of the Tfac Reddit.[1:55:46]   Red bar just said that he jacks up.[1:55:49]   He was serious.[1:55:50]   He is into it.[1:55:52]   He's jacking off to Chris D'Elia's wife.[1:55:54]   Said something about Calvin.[1:55:56]   Could be more about Calvin.[1:55:58]   Tell everybody.[1:56:01]   Okay.[1:56:02]   Fool's retail.[1:56:03]   Fool's clothes.[1:56:04]   You know, we've been working on it.[1:56:06]   Yes.[1:56:07]   That is what I want everybody.[1:56:08]   I want everybody to think that about me.[1:56:10]   So wait before you do the segment, maybe you should watch this clip.[1:56:14]   I would love to any clip, anytime I got some great shirts for you.[1:56:18]   Okay.[1:56:19]   Let's watch this clip.[1:56:20]   Do people find that funny or are they getting scared?[1:56:23]   I've been talking a lot of sex stuff lately on this show to scare people.[1:56:26]   So they might be getting scared.[1:56:29]   Um, okay.[1:56:30]   Let's see.[1:56:31]   The HD Ethan gets fashion shamed.[1:56:34]   Yeah.[1:56:35]   Maybe we should watch this first.[1:56:36]   You think?[1:56:37]   What do you think?[1:56:38]   Yeah, I think so.[1:56:39]   I think we should.[1:56:41]   I found this segment.[1:56:43]   Listen, if you're not a Klein guy like me, you're not a Klein.[1:56:47]   Klein and Ada.[1:56:48]   You're not a, uh, rabbi Klein.[1:56:52]   That's fine.[1:56:53]   This isn't about Klein.[1:56:54]   I mean, anybody could enjoy this clip, but, uh, Ethan's so ugly, right?[1:56:59]   Ethan J Klein from the H3 podcast.[1:57:02]   He's so despicably ugly.[1:57:04]   I mean, I have this fascination with how ugly he was getting.[1:57:08]   Very similar to like a Patrick Melton, one of our original fools on the show.[1:57:13]   It was turning into that point.[1:57:14]   And I think this is a very special point that a true obese fool could reach.[1:57:20]   So there's nothing better than when a fool is obese or gaining weight or getting uglier.[1:57:27]   I mean, we might even do a segment coming up where we're going to show you the ugliest[1:57:31]   fool of the week, the ugliest comedian of the week, who was the ugliest this week.[1:57:37]   That would be fun, huh?[1:57:39]   And I got into this fascination where I was just taking photos of the TV, watching Ethan[1:57:44]   Klein on H3, just screenshotting and taking photos and zooming in and taking that sharpened[1:57:50]   dial all the way up so I could really bring out his zits and fat wrinkles and all this[1:57:56]   stuff.[1:57:57]   And I was like obsessed with looking at how ugly he is and talk about worst dressed.[1:58:04]   I mean, you know, he'd make worst dressed every week, but we wanted to also do like[1:58:07]   a fool's and by fools, we meet all these people.[1:58:11]   We covered like a thing like worst dressed and best dressed of the week as well on every[1:58:17]   show, you know, we show you the worst dressed fool, the best dressed fool, the ugliest fool[1:58:21]   of the week, maybe the most handsome fool of the week as well.[1:58:25]   The hottest.[1:58:26]   You never know.[1:58:27]   Well, you never know.[1:58:28]   Stuff like that just to incorporate them more.[1:58:32]   And something great happened.[1:58:34]   And you're going to love this clip because it not only features Ethan, but it features[1:58:38]   iDubbbz and his wife, Anissa.[1:58:43]   Remember Anissa?[1:58:44]   I drew that picture of Anissa.[1:58:46]   Remember, they're doing the YouTube boxing for Alzheimer's and Anissa is this super serious[1:58:52]   person.[1:58:53]   She's always talking about my father has Alzheimer's, so we started a charity boxing.[1:58:58]   We raised one million dollars for Alzheimer's.[1:59:01]   I just cry every day.[1:59:03]   And it's like you care about your dad that much.[1:59:08]   Is he fingering you?[1:59:11]   Is he really your dad?[1:59:12]   If he has Alzheimer's, you could probably fuck him now because he has Alzheimer's.[1:59:15]   It's just a different mind.[1:59:17]   It's not the same mind that made you.[1:59:20]   You're allowed to have sex with him, Anissa.[1:59:21]   I think that's what she wants.[1:59:23]   She wants to fuck her dad because she's taking her dad to the doctor.[1:59:27]   She's crying and weeping for her dad.[1:59:29]   If I found out my dad had Alzheimer's, there would be not one tear shed.[1:59:34]   I'd be laughing hysterically.[1:59:38]   So I find that to be like sickening when somebody like goes, I like my parents.[1:59:42]   It's like, yeah.[1:59:43]   What did you think?[1:59:44]   Your daddy was going to live forever?[1:59:46]   You disgustingly, ugly, lewd bitch.[1:59:52]   She's featured in this video and they finally confront Ethan on his outfits and how he's[2:00:01]   been looking.[2:00:02]   And this was really the first time, you know, Ethan's gotten confronted about his weight[2:00:07]   a lot and had to talk about his weight a lot.[2:00:09]   He's got this food addiction.[2:00:11]   He can't stop shoving fries into his face, but my biggest beef with him has been just[2:00:16]   how ugly he does his hair, how ugly his mustache is, how ugly his shirts are.[2:00:21]   I mean, he's wearing these big cargo shorts with socks, with sandals, with his big thigh.[2:00:28]   I mean, it's just, it's a fashion disaster.[2:00:31]   And he finally got confronted.[2:00:33]   And I think this clip is one of my favorite clips.[2:00:36]   This is with iDubbbz.[2:00:38]   Aneesa, you all love iDubbbz.[2:00:40]   And it starts out with Ethan being one of these, being one of these, like, uh, you know,[2:00:49]   and this is an important moment.[2:00:50]   He goes after iDubbbz's mullet.[2:00:54]   Yes.[2:00:55]   Because remember, and we all saw this with Theo Vaughn, Theo Vaughn comes out with a[2:01:00]   mullet and then it was five years of, you have a mullet, you have a mullet.[2:01:05]   Oh my God.[2:01:06]   I can't believe mullet, mullet, mullet.[2:01:07]   And nobody could talk to Theo Vaughn without them mentioning his mullet.[2:01:11]   Oh.[2:01:12]   And yes, I guess the mullet went away for such a long time that when it came back, it[2:01:19]   looked kind of weird.[2:01:21]   And surely there's so many different mullet styles.[2:01:26]   And sometimes some people pick a pretty nasty mullet style, but it launched this thing.[2:01:34]   It started this thing.[2:01:35]   And I see a lot of people do this.[2:01:36]   This is something I want to correct too.[2:01:38]   This is another thing that needs to stop.[2:01:40]   People thinking mullets are crazy.[2:01:44]   That's over.[2:01:45]   The mullet has been back for about six years.[2:01:49]   It's like the man.[2:01:50]   They've redone it.[2:01:52]   It's not the same as Kenny Powers.[2:01:55]   And even if it was, there's a place for that hairdo once again.[2:02:01]   That's how it happens.[2:02:02]   You know how jeans go from skinny to baggy to flare to tight to high.[2:02:08]   This is what happens.[2:02:10]   And there's so many people who every time something turns or goes back, they have a[2:02:16]   panic attack.[2:02:17]   I did this with high-waisted jeans.[2:02:20]   When they came out with high-waisted jeans, I was furious.[2:02:23]   And many of you did this with skinny jeans.[2:02:25]   And usually it's the same problem every time.[2:02:28]   They introduce skinny jeans, and then you see this big fat guy wearing navy blue tights.[2:02:33]   And you go, oh my God![2:02:36]   And he looks ridiculous and awful.[2:02:39]   And then you go, what are those?[2:02:40]   And he goes, they're just skinny jeans.[2:02:42]   And you go, skinny jeans are awful![2:02:44]   And then that's it.[2:02:46]   And then they've updated this look so much to where it actually just looks like a pair[2:02:51]   of regular jeans now.[2:02:53]   But because they're still called skinny, you're still thinking about it as if it was[2:02:57]   like those skin-tight, painted-on, hipster fat man pants that looked so ultra-retarded.[2:03:04]   It's weird how people can, and they do that with the mullet too, Jules, where they[2:03:09]   take what they imagine is the worst, gayest, cringiest mullet in the world.[2:03:13]   And then anybody who has a hairstyle where it's just long in the back is that to them.[2:03:19]   I don't know if these people are just really stupid, or maybe it does look like that.[2:03:25]   But that's how Ethan got himself in this trouble today.[2:03:29]   Is this cued up 5440?[2:03:31]   Yes, sir.[2:03:33]   5440![2:03:34]   And we're going to hear the mullet stuff, I hope.[2:03:36]   Yes, of course.[2:03:37]   Okay, that's coming up.[2:03:38]   Here's Aneesa looking just like my drawing![2:03:41]   You know, Aneesa?[2:03:43]   This is the one that, remember the big iDubbbz thing where his wife or girlfriend was doing[2:03:49]   OnlyFans and then iDubbbz is a cut?[2:03:51]   You were all involved in that.[2:03:53]   That's your bread and butter![2:03:55]   That's what I always think.[2:03:56]   Everybody on the internet loves stuff like that.[2:03:58]   Maybe now that you're working out, you and her have something in common.[2:04:01]   You can get along finally.[2:04:03]   I'm almost as ripped as Aneesa coming out.[2:04:07]   So she's got these lewd tattoos, and these people, they go to the tattoo artist and they go,[2:04:12]   Can I have just like all these like classic tattoos?[2:04:15]   And they get them all on the same day.[2:04:17]   I can't stand this, Aneesa.[2:04:19]   I mean, she is so, wait till you hear her speak.[2:04:22]   And look at her.[2:04:24]   And she's posting ludes.[2:04:26]   Big flappy fake titties popping out of her bra and panties.[2:04:31]   Very Lena Dunham type body.[2:04:34]   All bruised, black and blued, and blabbing.[2:04:38]   So I find that to be, yes, disgusting.[2:04:40]   And yes, if your wife posts those pictures, big fat lady, like this.[2:04:44]   Naked, she doesn't even tan, it's all disgusting.[2:04:48]   So here she is, Aneesa.[2:04:50]   And what are we doing about the mullet?[2:04:53]   Are we keeping that? Is that like a new duo now?[2:04:56]   So here he is.[2:04:57]   Idubbbz, of course, he's a boxer now.[2:04:59]   And he's cut his hair.[2:05:01]   And remember what Idubbbz used to look like.[2:05:04]   He was like the biggest nerd.[2:05:05]   He was like Megamind's boyfriend.[2:05:08]   He was like a nerdy nothing.[2:05:11]   Remember when Idubbbz came out, he had this show called Content Cop.[2:05:15]   He got involved with Samuel Hyde, maybe why you know him.[2:05:19]   And he used to say the N word.[2:05:21]   Believe it or not, Idubbbz and Ethan used to say the N word over on YouTube.[2:05:26]   They were the cool guys.[2:05:27]   Idubbbz was this very nerdy, geeky, skinny guy.[2:05:31]   Then he got into celebrity YouTube boxing, surprise, surprise,[2:05:35]   after he was made a public cuck for the Aneesa ludes.[2:05:42]   He had the whole internet calling him a cuck.[2:05:44]   And then all of a sudden, what did he do?[2:05:46]   Became boxer.[2:05:49]   He'll show them he's a man.[2:05:51]   He ain't a cuck.[2:05:52]   He's a real man.[2:05:53]   So he got this.[2:05:54]   He's 80s now.[2:05:55]   He's Kurt Russell now, right?[2:05:57]   This is his look.[2:05:58]   He's got the mustache, the mullet, the shirt.[2:06:03]   He's got the same tattoos as his knees.[2:06:05]   I mean, he went all out and within a year gave himself this 80s,[2:06:12]   cool guys scumbag makeover.[2:06:15]   And it actually is a much better look than his just shitty, nerdy, nothing look,[2:06:22]   which he was before.[2:06:23]   He had a matching chest tat with her.[2:06:24]   That's cute.[2:06:25]   I don't know if it's matching, Jules.[2:06:26]   But it's the same vibe.[2:06:28]   That's not cute.[2:06:29]   And he's got, is this is it?[2:06:30]   No red tattoo ink, you idiot.[2:06:35]   I see all these people getting like red tattoos.[2:06:37]   That looks like a scab.[2:06:41]   That looks like a bruise.[2:06:44]   So I thought that was a chested acne, chest knee.[2:06:49]   Especially the outside border.[2:06:51]   That looks like chest knee.[2:06:53]   So here he is.[2:06:55]   And he's got a mullet now, which to me, and I'll tell you the truth.[2:06:59]   I don't even notice that he's got like, to me, I don't go, Oh my God, look at this mullet.[2:07:05]   That was seven years ago, seven years ago.[2:07:07]   If I saw a guy like this, I'd be like, Whoa, nice mullet.[2:07:10]   But it's been, we've seen these, this mullet has been back for a very long time.[2:07:15]   I mean, again, Theo Vaughn goes on a podcast.[2:07:17]   They go, man, that's brave for you to have a mullet.[2:07:20]   Like when he goes on Barstool.[2:07:21]   Dude, the mullet is, fuck, that's fucking nuts.[2:07:25]   And it's like, what is so difficult about this hairstyle to you after all these years of it being back?[2:07:34]   So when I see him like this, I don't even think mullet.[2:07:37]   And here's dumb ass Ethan Klein going to open his mouth.[2:07:41]   And again, who is Ethan Klein to open his mouth about anybody's looks?[2:07:45]   Well, they'll tell you.[2:07:46]   14 years or something crazy like that.[2:07:48]   You're going to love this.[2:07:49]   Like a long time.[2:07:51]   So.[2:07:52]   And what are we doing about the mullet?[2:07:54]   Are we keeping that?[2:07:55]   Is that like a new do?[2:07:56]   So condescending too.[2:07:58]   And what are we doing about the mullet?[2:07:59]   Are we keeping that?[2:08:01]   Don't even talk that talking like that is, is that like a Twitter type of guy who talks like that?[2:08:09]   What are we doing about the mullet?[2:08:11]   Are we keeping that?[2:08:13]   We don't want to hear and they don't want to hear judgments from Ethan Klein.[2:08:17]   OK, so.[2:08:19]   And what are we doing about the mullet?[2:08:21]   Are we keeping that?[2:08:22]   Is that a new do now?[2:08:23]   I mean, I like it.[2:08:25]   It's fun.[2:08:26]   One of my sparring partners is a hairstylist.[2:08:29]   And he, you know, he's keeping it out of my eyes, which is good.[2:08:34]   You have hair on your forehead.[2:08:35]   Does that not bother you?[2:08:36]   No, I think it's cool.[2:08:38]   Wow, interesting.[2:08:39]   Although lately when I pull up the hair, I'm like, man, that's a lot of area.[2:08:45]   Forehead.[2:08:46]   It doesn't look that bad.[2:08:47]   I mean, when you exaggerate it.[2:08:48]   Yeah.[2:08:49]   Remember, I am just a rebellious geek.[2:08:54]   He's a nerd who doesn't want to be.[2:08:59]   Told he's a nerd, you know, so he's going to fight back a little bit.[2:09:02]   He's got a little fight in him.[2:09:03]   But ultimately, he's still a very geeky guy that you could really make feel small.[2:09:08]   And he does feel small.[2:09:09]   I mean, he's worried about his looks.[2:09:11]   He's acting like Chris DiStefano here.[2:09:14]   OK, so but watch what this turns into.[2:09:16]   Area.[2:09:17]   Forehead.[2:09:18]   It doesn't look that bad.[2:09:19]   I mean, when you exaggerate it.[2:09:20]   Yeah.[2:09:21]   OK.[2:09:22]   It's not.[2:09:23]   I think before your neck was a bit thinner before you were like working out.[2:09:28]   So.[2:09:29]   Yeah.[2:09:30]   It accentuated the forehead.[2:09:31]   But now you look.[2:09:32]   I mean, I like the mullet.[2:09:36]   Anything he wants.[2:09:37]   Legit.[2:09:38]   I don't care.[2:09:39]   People think like.[2:09:40]   Yeah.[2:09:41]   Ladies like it.[2:09:42]   Apparently they like the mullet.[2:09:43]   Yeah.[2:09:44]   Mullet is back in a big way.[2:09:45]   It kind of looks scary, like in a good way with the boxing and the mullet.[2:09:50]   And it's like.[2:09:51]   Yeah.[2:09:52]   All right.[2:09:53]   It's scary.[2:09:54]   Thank you.[2:09:55]   There's a vibe.[2:09:56]   I got to say, I don't know the people saying mulligan.[2:09:59]   They love the mullet.[2:10:01]   I cannot get down with the mullet.[2:10:04]   Oh, so this fat fourth grading look in tubby tubby do.[2:10:12]   He can't get behind the mullet.[2:10:14]   Doesn't that make you mad?[2:10:15]   Do you understand that?[2:10:16]   I hope this is making you mad.[2:10:18]   A guy like this is looking at Idubbbz who has stylized himself.[2:10:24]   Sure.[2:10:25]   He's not perfect.[2:10:26]   He's not perfect.[2:10:27]   He's still plenty gay.[2:10:29]   But you know what?[2:10:30]   I'd rather him be that than this.[2:10:32]   What am I looking at here?[2:10:34]   Right here is a nothing.[2:10:35]   This is just a kid.[2:10:37]   This is just some shitty kid.[2:10:40]   So Ethan thinks that the mullet is so disgusting.[2:10:43]   He's going to say something.[2:10:44]   And a lot of people, I don't know about you,[2:10:45]   but if Ethan Klein was telling me that something about my fashion was off,[2:10:48]   I would go, oh, yeah?[2:10:51]   And I'd get very insulted.[2:10:53]   And I'd want to let him know that he, in fact, is worse.[2:10:57]   And that's what's going to happen here today.[2:10:59]   And they love the mullet.[2:11:01]   I cannot get down with the mullet.[2:11:04]   No offense.[2:11:05]   It's wild to me that people even wear that haircut.[2:11:08]   Really?[2:11:09]   I mean, it's a mullet.[2:11:11]   Wait, what is that?[2:11:12]   You're just saying the word.[2:11:15]   I mean, it's a mullet.[2:11:16]   He can't believe it.[2:11:18]   That's a guy who's behind.[2:11:20]   You get a lot of people like that.[2:11:21]   It's like 15 years ago if a guy wore a pink shirt.[2:11:26]   But it's pink.[2:11:28]   You got to think outside the bun for a second.[2:11:33]   Really, that is one of my biggest pet peeves,[2:11:35]   where somebody just can't believe.[2:11:40]   And that's what Klein's doing here, and he's going to get served.[2:11:43]   I mean, it's a mullet.[2:11:44]   Wait, wait.[2:11:45]   What is that?[2:11:46]   You're just saying the word.[2:11:48]   The word is bad.[2:11:49]   But the whole history of the mullet is crazy.[2:11:51]   What is the history?[2:11:53]   Back in the days, it's like-[2:11:55]   But there's a lot of trends of bringing back bad stuff.[2:11:59]   And it's half ironic, half, I don't know, kind of like dad jeans.[2:12:05]   Like your whole body?[2:12:07]   I like it.[2:12:08]   I think you look like Anakin Skywalker.[2:12:10]   Yeah.[2:12:11]   Okay, so now we're looking at mullets.[2:12:16]   I was bullied because I had red hair.[2:12:18]   It's culture.[2:12:19]   NASCAR, Bud Light.[2:12:21]   Yeah.[2:12:22]   That's cool.[2:12:23]   It's just, it's like you got to commit.[2:12:26]   It's like, do you want long hair?[2:12:28]   Do you want short hair?[2:12:29]   You got to commit, bro.[2:12:30]   It's like you're in, you're out.[2:12:31]   He showed his hairdresser.[2:12:33]   He wanted to go longer because before he had a baby mullet,[2:12:36]   and he was like, oh, I want to go longer.[2:12:38]   And so the hairdresser has been letting the back grow out for him.[2:12:41]   Okay.[2:12:42]   By the way, Anakin does not have a mullet.[2:12:44]   He just has beautiful flowing hair.[2:12:45]   Yeah, it didn't seem to be.[2:12:47]   Watch this.[2:12:48]   You're going to start getting mad at Ethan here.[2:12:49]   And Nisa.[2:12:50]   Yeah, but anyway, I'm glad you like it.[2:12:52]   I hate it.[2:12:53]   No, I'm kidding.[2:12:54]   I know it sounded like that.[2:12:55]   That's not what I meant.[2:12:56]   Well, do you have a plan for your hair?[2:12:57]   Whoa![2:12:59]   Well, do you have a plan for your hair?[2:13:01]   Finally.[2:13:02]   You know, because I've been dying to talk to this guy about his terrible hair.[2:13:06]   Well, do you have a plan for your hair?[2:13:07]   What do you mean my hair is thin?[2:13:09]   Here it goes.[2:13:11]   I'm kidding.[2:13:12]   I know it sounded like that.[2:13:13]   That's not what I meant.[2:13:14]   Well, do you have a plan for your hair?[2:13:15]   No, I just shake.[2:13:16]   I just buzz it.[2:13:17]   All right.[2:13:18]   So you're just doing like unfashionable man things.[2:13:22]   Whoa![2:13:23]   Yeah, that's a cop out.[2:13:24]   Yeah.[2:13:25]   Well, I can't do anything.[2:13:26]   My hair's just curly.[2:13:27]   It just gets big.[2:13:28]   It's big or it's small.[2:13:29]   You have beautiful hair.[2:13:30]   See, this starts affecting him.[2:13:32]   The whole crowd's speaking up.[2:13:34]   Now the whole crowd, because his wife, Hila Klein, she wants to go out on the town with[2:13:40]   some of these millions.[2:13:41]   Which it's disgusting what he does to her.[2:13:43]   It really is.[2:13:44]   She wants to dress up.[2:13:45]   She wants to do her makeup.[2:13:46]   She's dining her day.[2:13:47]   She wants to go out.[2:13:48]   She wants to try.[2:13:49]   She doesn't want to go to a, you got $50 million in the bank.[2:13:51]   You want to go to a nice restaurant and you don't want to show up with the shower shoes[2:13:57]   and socks.[2:13:58]   You know, Bobby from King of the Hill, big fat retard.[2:14:03]   Imagine walking into any restaurant.[2:14:05]   I'd feel ashamed if I went into a Jersey Mike's with Ethan Klein.[2:14:10]   I'd go, oh, he's not with me.[2:14:12]   He is not with me.[2:14:13]   That is some lost kid from the retard house.[2:14:17]   You know, I'd be embarrassed.[2:14:18]   So Hila Klein has been embarrassed about Ethan.[2:14:22]   And imagine this, Hila Klein, one of the most embarrassing moms.[2:14:26]   But she's had quite the glow up.[2:14:29]   Look at how hard she tries.[2:14:30]   Exactly.[2:14:31]   And it's just about trying.[2:14:32]   Every day when she wakes up, that's like two hours of effort.[2:14:35]   Oh yeah.[2:14:36]   Hila's putting about three, four hours just, you know, on her makeup and hair alone.[2:14:39]   She's going to that salon.[2:14:40]   I hope she knows that hair eventually burns away when you bleach it.[2:14:44]   No, no, no.[2:14:45]   Her's is thick and strong.[2:14:46]   No, it's going to burn away.[2:14:47]   I cannot wait.[2:14:48]   See, Hila doesn't know that you can't just dye your hair every three days with bleach.[2:14:51]   It's basically made of metal.[2:14:53]   Yeah.[2:14:54]   So, okay, Ethan's going to start getting a little sad here.[2:14:57]   Once he sees the three of them are going to start really picking on him.[2:15:01]   I can't do anything.[2:15:02]   My hair's just curly.[2:15:03]   It just gets big.[2:15:04]   It's big or it's small.[2:15:05]   You have beautiful hair.[2:15:06]   Big or it's small.[2:15:07]   But he doesn't want to put in any work.[2:15:09]   That's the reality.[2:15:10]   Yeah, yeah.[2:15:11]   I'm like, before we came here, I was like laying on the hotel bed and then he says like,[2:15:16]   are you going to shower?[2:15:17]   I'm like, nah.[2:15:18]   My hair's like hella greasy and looking unkempt.[2:15:20]   That's good.[2:15:21]   And I was like, nah, I'm not going to do that.[2:15:23]   And she's like, I think you probably shouldn't.[2:15:25]   Oh.[2:15:26]   And so I did it.[2:15:28]   Oh, you did it?[2:15:29]   Your wife is like, you need to shower.[2:15:31]   I rarely, I rarely am like encouraging of like, I let him do whatever he wants, but he had[2:15:38]   boxed the day before and it just needed to happen.[2:15:42]   Yeah.[2:15:43]   And she's very.[2:15:44]   This is another thing we're against.[2:15:45]   You're right about these people who think that they don't like showering.[2:15:48]   I hear a lot of this.[2:15:49]   People who don't like showering.[2:15:52]   It's annoying for them.[2:15:55]   We're not asking you to do a 10 step drunk elephant skincare routine.[2:16:00]   Just a shower.[2:16:02]   There are many people who don't shower.[2:16:04]   Lots of girls too who don't shower.[2:16:07]   Who's like Tana?[2:16:08]   Tana Mango.[2:16:09]   She don't shower.[2:16:10]   She doesn't.[2:16:11]   They'll go as long as they can without a shower.[2:16:15]   And I'm going to tell you, if you're one of those types of people, stop doing that now.[2:16:18]   You got to shower every, every day.[2:16:22]   Even when you're sick.[2:16:23]   You don't even have to use soap.[2:16:24]   I don't use soap.[2:16:26]   I don't use anything.[2:16:27]   I don't even go under the water.[2:16:28]   But you got to get that shower running.[2:16:30]   You know, I don't brush my teeth either.[2:16:33]   You know what I do?[2:16:34]   I go, Jules, I'm brushing my teeth.[2:16:36]   And then I turn an electric toothbrush on and I microphone it through the Sonos.[2:16:43]   And then I go, see?[2:16:44]   All done.[2:16:48]   And then I quickly put toothpaste all over my teeth.[2:16:51]   The process I got to do to trick her into I'm brushing my teeth.[2:16:54]   You have like a 15 minute recording that you step into the bathroom.[2:16:58]   Yes.[2:16:59]   Stand completely still and you press play and it's going like the fan turning on.[2:17:03]   Yes.[2:17:04]   All that stuff.[2:17:05]   Yeah.[2:17:06]   Flush.[2:17:07]   Yeah.[2:17:08]   Drop some beard lube on the ground.[2:17:11]   Okay.[2:17:12]   So they're starting to get into this shower.[2:17:14]   They're trying to say this.[2:17:15]   Let's see what happens with Eaton Klein.[2:17:17]   He had boxed the day before and it just needed to happen.[2:17:21]   Yeah.[2:17:22]   And she's very encouraging of like, I don't know, caring more about your appearance because[2:17:29]   I've done that for long enough, I think, not caring about the appearance.[2:17:34]   So it's worth it to me to like put a little bit more effort in.[2:17:38]   I see.[2:17:39]   I try.[2:17:40]   He doesn't listen.[2:17:41]   Yeah.[2:17:42]   He doesn't listen.[2:17:43]   Look at that face.[2:17:44]   She wants him starting to dress up.[2:17:46]   She's sick of this shit.[2:17:51]   And look how fucking hot he was getting.[2:17:53]   I mean, come on, just that eyeshadow alone took her.[2:17:56]   She's so fucking hot.[2:17:57]   She was doing a hip thrust the other day.[2:17:59]   She was throwing a three pound weight at the ceiling.[2:18:02]   Hey, your last workout video, her form was improving.[2:18:05]   She's got her trainer taking a rubberized three pound weight.[2:18:08]   And the trick is to throw it up and then dodge it.[2:18:11]   Okay.[2:18:12]   So let's see.[2:18:13]   She's like, I try to tell him.[2:18:15]   It borrows my hair products now.[2:18:17]   I feel like I'm so fucking like, it's not worth waking up earlier for.[2:18:23]   No, but like we'll be.[2:18:24]   This is true.[2:18:25]   It's not worth waking up earlier for, you know, when he, he does these podcasts five[2:18:30]   days a week.[2:18:31]   Don't get a twist.[2:18:32]   He doesn't love podcasting.[2:18:34]   He loves ads.[2:18:35]   He loves getting paid.[2:18:37]   So when somebody tells you, okay, you make $35,000 by doing one podcast.[2:18:42]   Imagine if you did five, it would be 35,000 times five.[2:18:48]   So why wouldn't you do that?[2:18:50]   You're going to figure out any way you could do that.[2:18:52]   But he gets out of bed and drives over to the stage.[2:18:59]   He doesn't show.[2:19:00]   He gets right out of bed, goes into the bathroom, puts on his T-shirt and shorts,[2:19:04]   and then drives to the studio.[2:19:05]   And he's on the air 10 minutes later from bed to podcast studio.[2:19:11]   So getting ready in the morning would be just too much effort for Ethan.[2:19:18]   I think there's a lot of people out there like this where they think that that's[2:19:23]   just too much time.[2:19:24]   20 minutes would be just too much.[2:19:26]   It's not worth waking up earlier for.[2:19:30]   No, but like we'll be going out to a dinner or something.[2:19:33]   And I'll be like, can you just put on shoes?[2:19:36]   And he's like, no, no.[2:19:38]   And I'm like, you wear your socks and slides everywhere.[2:19:43]   You almost have to just make an active choice.[2:19:45]   It's just like putting shoes on.[2:19:47]   It's not like a minute.[2:19:49]   I think you just have to be like.[2:19:51]   And now they're all like, yes, he's very retarded.[2:19:55]   Yeah, he should dress, but he's disgusting.[2:19:59]   And now the three adults are all discussing Ethan.[2:20:03]   And Ethan's going, oh, man, did you think this was going to work?[2:20:09]   You thought you were just going to be a 40-year-old toddler your whole life.[2:20:14]   It's time to start dressing yourself.[2:20:18]   Sorry, Ethan.[2:20:19]   And he's kind of realizing in real time here that his days of not doing anything[2:20:26]   are kind of wearing off.[2:20:27]   And everybody's kind of getting a little upset.[2:20:28]   And I bet Hila's been nudging him.[2:20:31]   You know, she's been trying to.[2:20:33]   I mean, can't you just listen?[2:20:35]   Imagine you and me are going into.[2:20:36]   No, no, no.[2:20:37]   I can't even.[2:20:38]   That's the biggest outfit.[2:20:39]   And you saying no instead of just doing it.[2:20:41]   Immediately.[2:20:42]   If she didn't like, I mean, the way I tied my shoelace,[2:20:46]   the shoe would be off and thrown away.[2:20:49]   Why are you even going out?[2:20:51]   Now, and it goes around with her.[2:20:53]   She doesn't take it so nice, but she'll put on these outfits.[2:20:57]   I go, I'm not going out with you like that.[2:21:00]   Like she'll put on bright green sweatshirt with shit,[2:21:05]   brown slacks and like bright green shoes or bright green.[2:21:11]   And I go, what do you link from Zelda?[2:21:14]   Looks like Zelda or something.[2:21:16]   And I go, I can't go out.[2:21:17]   And then she cries.[2:21:19]   I take it a little hard.[2:21:20]   And then.[2:21:21]   But she goes and then she'll run into the closet and change.[2:21:23]   But she'll be crying.[2:21:25]   And I'll go, why are you crying?[2:21:27]   She'll go.[2:21:28]   Nothing.[2:21:29]   I just can't believe.[2:21:30]   But she'll change.[2:21:31]   Not crying.[2:21:32]   But me, I'll tell you this.[2:21:34]   If Jewel, if I put this on.[2:21:36]   But I do change.[2:21:37]   That's the important part.[2:21:38]   Okay.[2:21:39]   I change.[2:21:40]   Yes, exactly.[2:21:41]   If I put this on today and Jules went.[2:21:43]   I go.[2:21:44]   And I'd immediately take it off.[2:21:46]   It doesn't even take a second.[2:21:48]   It doesn't offend me at all.[2:21:50]   Um, I, and by the way, I hope she's not,[2:21:53]   cause this is what she does because this is what she would want.[2:21:57]   I'll put on like something that looks horrible.[2:22:00]   I mean, she goes, you look great.[2:22:01]   And I'll go, what?[2:22:03]   That was a test.[2:22:04]   I look horrible.[2:22:05]   So you're just telling me I look great all the time.[2:22:07]   Unless you're just that into anything I do.[2:22:11]   And I could just look as shitty as I want and you would love it.[2:22:15]   I need the truth.[2:22:17]   I tell her all the time.[2:22:19]   I go, I'm not really understanding these shoes.[2:22:21]   Are you sure I should be wearing these?[2:22:23]   And I'm looking for a, no, take them off.[2:22:25]   I'm looking for help.[2:22:26]   She goes, oh, they're great.[2:22:28]   I go, please.[2:22:29]   I want these shoes off.[2:22:31]   Please tell me they're disgusting.[2:22:34]   Give me some help.[2:22:35]   My mind.[2:22:37]   So yes, that's a great point.[2:22:40]   She's asking if your wife is asking you,[2:22:43]   you should just do that.[2:22:45]   If you see it bothers her this much.[2:22:48]   Wear your socks and slides everywhere.[2:22:51]   You almost have to just make an act of choice.[2:22:53]   It's just like putting shoes on.[2:22:55]   It's not like a minute.[2:22:57]   I think you just have to view it as a expression and that you're allowed to,[2:23:02]   as a man, express yourself.[2:23:03]   Imagine going on a fucking four-way adult date with Anissa and Idubbbz.[2:23:07]   They're like adult daters.[2:23:09]   That's how they act.[2:23:10]   They're part of the adult world.[2:23:12]   We don't go on no adult dates with nobody.[2:23:15]   We don't talk to nobody.[2:23:16]   If an adult talked to me, I would go and start acting like a kid.[2:23:19]   I don't go near adults.[2:23:22]   I find them to be the stupidest weirdish people I've ever met.[2:23:26]   And you can tell Anissa and Idubbbz are in their adult dinner stage where they pretend they're real adults.[2:23:32]   You see this all the time with like bachelor contestants who star YouTube channels.[2:23:36]   They're like, we're adults now.[2:23:39]   So we've kind of decorated the place like our parents' house.[2:23:43]   And we're going to dinner with the Stefanies, a Jewish couple.[2:23:48]   The Stefanies.[2:23:50]   Michael, Stephanie, and of course, Rebecca, Michelle, Stephanie.[2:23:55]   That makes me fucking sick.[2:23:58]   But I still respect the rules of society.[2:24:01]   You know, when I go out, I wouldn't wear this out to a restaurant.[2:24:04]   I would have a big army coat over with a giant hood and metal things coming out.[2:24:10]   You should see that coat.[2:24:12]   You know, I don't really care.[2:24:14]   This is a very fashion-forward episode, by the way. I like it.[2:24:17]   Well, we're talking a lot about these little fashion things.[2:24:19]   I think a lot of people are severely lost when it comes to...[2:24:22]   You put on your sparkly queen sweater and you got bitchy.[2:24:25]   I'll tell you about this sweater. I was excited to get this.[2:24:28]   This is not what it looked like in the picture.[2:24:30]   And what you got to understand is I'm trying to wear something new every show.[2:24:35]   Every show, it's a lot harder than you'd think if you're like, okay, here's the thing.[2:24:42]   Like, okay, yeah, maybe it's not that hard if I spent all my time and energy on it.[2:24:47]   You know, so I'm like Ethan Klein here.[2:24:49]   It's like how much energy and time are you willing to spend? This much.[2:24:52]   You get an email.[2:24:54]   Oh, look at this.[2:24:55]   And they photograph it all wrong.[2:24:57]   They photograph it in its best way.[2:24:59]   I thought this was going to be a non-shiny black cardigan with tiny little dots of color.[2:25:05]   It did look more like a nubby...[2:25:07]   Yeah, I thought it was going to be like one of those kind of like 80s coats.[2:25:12]   Like they used to have like sport coats in the 80s that just have like little dots, like a little white fleck.[2:25:19]   Yeah, little nubbys.[2:25:20]   That's what I thought it was going to be.[2:25:21]   And it shows up.[2:25:22]   And I don't know if you can see this.[2:25:24]   This is like, I mean, it really is like a Liza Minnelli type, like Jewish old woman that's not even that stylish.[2:25:37]   Or like Jeff's wife from Curb Your Enthusiast would wear something like this.[2:25:43]   What's her name?[2:25:45]   Fucking...[2:25:46]   Yeah.[2:25:47]   It's on the tip of my tongue.[2:25:48]   Exactly.[2:25:49]   And it was giving me that vibe.[2:25:52]   And I didn't think I'd be able to pull it off.[2:25:54]   But immediately I put this on.[2:25:55]   Suzy, of course.[2:25:56]   Suzy. Yeah, this is like Suzy.[2:25:58]   That's the vibe I get with it.[2:26:00]   Now I've put this graphic T on there to give it a little bit more oomph.[2:26:04]   It's my shirt, by the way.[2:26:05]   But I'll tell you this.[2:26:07]   You know, this is not my favorite by any means.[2:26:10]   It came in.[2:26:12]   It was around, everything is now like 150.[2:26:16]   You should see this other shirt I got.[2:26:17]   150 from Polissimo.[2:26:20]   And it is so thin and gay.[2:26:23]   I couldn't even wear that one.[2:26:24]   Well, I think you missed your chance to return that, by the way.[2:26:26]   So maybe you should give it away as a prize.[2:26:28]   I might give that away as a prize.[2:26:30]   I'll remember it for next week.[2:26:31]   But you don't have any options.[2:26:32]   And really, the hardest part about doing this show is picking out the ending performance and picking out the shirt.[2:26:40]   And that could take all week, really.[2:26:42]   Everything else you don't even have to think about.[2:26:43]   That could take all week.[2:26:45]   It really isn't as easy as you think.[2:26:49]   It's way harder than the payoff you even get.[2:26:53]   It's way beyond.[2:26:55]   I'll probably spend eight to nine hours finding the shirt per week.[2:27:03]   And then another ten hours finding the perfect ending song.[2:27:08]   Which is never perfect.[2:27:09]   And then guess what happens?[2:27:10]   The clothes are never perfect.[2:27:12]   And this song ain't ever perfect.[2:27:15]   But it still takes about twelve hours.[2:27:19]   So imagine how many hours it would take to actually get something that's good.[2:27:26]   You know.[2:27:27]   And that's why I get so mad at people like Ethan Klein.[2:27:29]   Remember the old show days?[2:27:30]   I'm just gonna wear the shirt.[2:27:32]   When Mike would just pick karaoke live on the show and everyone would be like, do this song.[2:27:37]   And he'd be like, no.[2:27:38]   And you'd be like, do this song.[2:27:39]   And you'd be like, no.[2:27:40]   That's what it's like with you.[2:27:42]   Day to day.[2:27:43]   It's my main.[2:27:44]   The minute the show ends, she starts going, okay, let's start thinking about songs for the next show.[2:27:48]   So that we're not, you know, like going crazy the day before.[2:27:52]   And then she'll start suggesting songs.[2:27:55]   An hour after this show ends.[2:27:58]   And I'll go, nope.[2:28:00]   Nope.[2:28:01]   And I get mad that she would even suggest that.[2:28:03]   Nope.[2:28:04]   And I got an excuse for everything.[2:28:06]   Nope.[2:28:07]   Sorry.[2:28:08]   Not my vibe.[2:28:09]   What?[2:28:11]   Nope.[2:28:12]   It won't work.[2:28:13]   And these people think I just randomly pick a song.[2:28:16]   That's how little of a payoff there is to all this that we're doing.[2:28:22]   I mean, the amount of work we're doing to find the song in the shirt would be about a ninety six thousand dollar a year position.[2:28:32]   Based on the work we're putting in.[2:28:34]   Think about that.[2:28:35]   And what a waste.[2:28:36]   And then you get the shirt in the mail and then you hate it immediately.[2:28:39]   I mean, I hate it immediately.[2:28:40]   This is me trying on a shirt.[2:28:43]   Hate it.[2:28:44]   Before it even gets on me.[2:28:46]   And I'm going, no, you look good.[2:28:49]   So I don't need no, no, I look good.[2:28:51]   I need an honest opinion or I'll find somebody who can give me an honest opinion.[2:28:56]   In France.[2:28:57]   I like this.[2:28:58]   I think it evokes joy.[2:28:59]   One of my favorite eras of yours.[2:29:01]   Of course, we have the summer of joy.[2:29:03]   I think the Jewish old lady look is what makes it good.[2:29:06]   Yes.[2:29:07]   I want to look like I'm sorry.[2:29:09]   Like this is my ideal look like this.[2:29:13]   That's how I see you.[2:29:14]   That's what you are to me.[2:29:15]   For up to me, like I'd want to be if I was ever on the cover of a magazine, I wanted to be like this.[2:29:22]   Oh, yeah.[2:29:23]   Should we give away the yellow coat as the mailing list prize for this month?[2:29:27]   No, it's got to be better than that.[2:29:29]   That's a thousand dollar.[2:29:30]   It's not.[2:29:31]   Trust me, it's not going to drive people to join the types I need on this list.[2:29:34]   Do not wear coats.[2:29:35]   Trust me.[2:29:36]   We got to finish this clip.[2:29:37]   Stop talking to me about this mailing list.[2:29:42]   That was not agreed upon.[2:29:45]   I'm just joking.[2:29:46]   Here's Anissa.[2:29:47]   And remember, this is an adult couple now.[2:29:49]   In any way that you want to and have fun with it.[2:29:52]   It's okay to not like cop out constantly.[2:29:55]   Listen, I have no problem with men being beautiful.[2:29:58]   That's not what this is.[2:29:59]   I love K-pop.[2:30:00]   Those are the most beautiful men in the world.[2:30:02]   You just think you're being very efficient by not worrying about it.[2:30:04]   To me, it's just not that important to me.[2:30:06]   Yeah.[2:30:07]   You know what I mean?[2:30:08]   Yeah.[2:30:09]   And he goes, maybe it's important to mama.[2:30:13]   See, that's mean.[2:30:14]   It needs to be.[2:30:15]   But your wife is trying to be a fashionista now with a clothing brand.[2:30:20]   And every day she's doing a different hair, makeup and clothing look.[2:30:24]   Obviously, she would love to take pictures with you and cool clothes and not look like a big fat sack.[2:30:30]   To me, it's not.[2:30:32]   So when he says that, you see how disappointed she goes.[2:30:35]   To me, it's just not important at all.[2:30:37]   And it's like, what you're really saying is, Hila is not important at all.[2:30:41]   That's how she feels.[2:30:42]   I mean, that is just so...[2:30:44]   The other night.[2:30:46]   I'm not going to explain, but I was so excited to go to pasta night.[2:30:50]   Pasta night.[2:30:52]   Pa-sta.[2:30:54]   Sorry, she's from Canada, where they all think everything's a game.[2:30:59]   Pasta night is something we go to once a month.[2:31:02]   He's not eating bread or whatever.[2:31:04]   Oh, I'm on bread while I'm on my cut.[2:31:06]   No bread, blah, blah.[2:31:08]   Mike went to pasta night.[2:31:09]   He ate bowls and bowls of pasta just for me.[2:31:12]   And then he puked all night.[2:31:14]   He got so sick.[2:31:15]   The next day he had a gluten hangover.[2:31:17]   Well, yeah, there's the thing.[2:31:18]   Yeah, I declare that I'm stopping bread this month.[2:31:23]   And I do three days of no bread, which is impossible.[2:31:26]   Everybody knows that.[2:31:27]   And then day four comes to you, he goes, it's pasta night.[2:31:30]   And I go, the bread thing.[2:31:32]   And she goes, oh, okay.[2:31:35]   We don't have to go.[2:31:37]   And I go, no, wait, do we really not have to go?[2:31:41]   Or we're going.[2:31:43]   We went.[2:31:46]   And trust me, I could have gotten out of this easily.[2:31:51]   I have declared I'm not eating bread.[2:31:56]   Any workout guy is allowed to declare that and everybody must obey.[2:32:01]   You went through all of that.[2:32:03]   I went through all of that.[2:32:04]   And then listen, what happens though, I go to this pasta night.[2:32:08]   It was, I go, I'm just going to have,[2:32:11]   because they said it's made from like safe wheat, like real organic safe.[2:32:15]   And remember Tom Papa goes, oh no, my bread won't make you sick.[2:32:18]   It was that kind of bread.[2:32:20]   It was that kind of bread, but it still made me,[2:32:22]   I understand what the Petersons are talking about when they go,[2:32:26]   everything was fine until the apple cider vinegar slid across the table.[2:32:32]   Then it was a month of impending doom and depression.[2:32:36]   So I eat this giant, I mean,[2:32:38]   they made like a loaf of bread that was like this big hot out of the oven.[2:32:42]   And then they made the pasta for me,[2:32:45]   which came with cheese on it after I said no cheese.[2:32:49]   I started like a whole problem there, you know, at this pop-up pasta pop-up,[2:32:55]   I started a whole issue where I said,[2:32:57]   I didn't want cheese on my spaghetti and meatballs.[2:33:00]   You know, they're covered in Parmesan.[2:33:02]   I don't eat cheese.[2:33:03]   And in fact,[2:33:04]   we're going to run a poll right now about this cheese thing because we've[2:33:09]   been wanting to bring this up anyway.[2:33:12]   I don't eat cheese.[2:33:13]   I've just put my foot down years ago.[2:33:16]   Cheese. I loved it as a kid. I ate as much cheese.[2:33:20]   I was one of those guys, extra cheese, please.[2:33:24]   Like if I heard a pizza had three layers of cheese, I was in macaroni and cheese.[2:33:28]   I would open up another box and take another pack of Velveeta and add in two[2:33:33]   packs. I would even take American cheese,[2:33:36]   start ripping it up and feeding my macaroni and cheese pot like a[2:33:41]   couple of ducks. Cause I wanted even that extra cheese.[2:33:45]   I ate cheese on everything. I was one of those guys where it's like a burger.[2:33:48]   Oh my God. Could it have extra cheese?[2:33:52]   I loved cheese nachos. Oh,[2:33:55]   hot pretzels and cheese sauce.[2:33:58]   Easy cheese. I was like Selena Gomez.[2:34:01]   I was slamming easy cheese day in and day out and then complaining about my[2:34:04]   weight. I had no, uh,[2:34:06]   I didn't know there was anything wrong with cheese and I remember,[2:34:11]   or you might be like this now. This is actually pretty big.[2:34:14]   You know how these people are like, dude,[2:34:16]   I took a raging shit after I had Wendy's.[2:34:20]   You shouldn't be taking a raging shit anytime.[2:34:24]   This is what men do not know.[2:34:26]   So we grew up eating like mounds and mounds of cheese and we're constantly like[2:34:31]   taking random shits as guys. How many guys have you heard go,[2:34:36]   Oh, I just destroyed that bat. And it's like 7 PM.[2:34:41]   You should only have to shit every other day,[2:34:44]   right after you get up about an hour after you get up and you shit before the[2:34:49]   shower. It comes out perfectly clean. Three wipes max,[2:34:53]   you shower and then there's no more shit for another day and a half.[2:34:57]   That literally is what it should be. And that's what I've got going on.[2:35:01]   It's mostly kratom based constipation, keeping it like this.[2:35:05]   But I don't eat cheese and I don't,[2:35:08]   I find cheese to be disgusting. I, again,[2:35:11]   I say this from somebody who loved cheese all of a sudden I started getting[2:35:15]   nauseous from even the smell of cheese. Okay.[2:35:19]   And I loved pizza and every time I would eat pizza,[2:35:22]   it started getting grosser and grosser over the course of like 10 years.[2:35:26]   It got to the point it grinded to a halt probably about three years ago where I,[2:35:32]   I can't even entertained the idea of taking a bite of a pizza.[2:35:37]   It's that gross to me.[2:35:39]   The fact that cheese on top of my spaghetti and meatballs makes me like,[2:35:43]   I will not eat it. Even if it's just like a dusting,[2:35:46]   that's how sick cheese is to me.[2:35:49]   But then I thought maybe cheese is this sick to almost everybody,[2:35:53]   but they're just assuming that you're just supposed to feel nauseated and sick[2:35:58]   and stuffed after you eat. Cause I know I used to feel like that all the time.[2:36:02]   Like I would eat pizza as a kid and be like,[2:36:04]   Oh, you're not supposed to really feel sick after you eat.[2:36:08]   Did you know that? I didn't know that. I just thought if you eat,[2:36:12]   you feel really sick, but it turns out that's not the case.[2:36:16]   And now if I feel sick after something I eat, it turns out, well,[2:36:20]   watch this. I take an Everly test. You know these?[2:36:24]   I'm pricking my blood at home. I'm self testing.[2:36:28]   There is a scene you could cut to me. There's a scene you could cut to me.[2:36:31]   There's a scene with me and I bought five Everly kits.[2:36:36]   So I've got a vitamin D kit. I've got a testosterone kit.[2:36:40]   I got a men's health kit.[2:36:42]   I got a gut kit and I got a food sensitivity kit.[2:36:47]   And I've been sitting on these things for about a year. Okay.[2:36:50]   These kits cause I heard, I didn't know what they were,[2:36:54]   but I know they're like,[2:36:55]   you got to prick your finger on some device and get blood.[2:36:58]   So I go, I'll just do that all in one day. Not thinking.[2:37:01]   That's like a lot of blood to give.[2:37:04]   I got five kits and I start going one by one and I start doing it.[2:37:08]   They give you this like business card with circles on it.[2:37:12]   And what you're supposed to do is take this needle they give you,[2:37:15]   prick your finger,[2:37:17]   and then squeeze blood until you fill in all five circles.[2:37:22]   That was gory. That was way too much blood that they gave you.[2:37:25]   Five circles. That was gory. That was way too much blood that they needed.[2:37:28]   Yeah. So I'm on postcard number one, five circles.[2:37:31]   I'm like, I'm not getting any blood.[2:37:34]   So I keep stabbing myself with the pricker. I'm smashing.[2:37:38]   I'm going like this to try to strain blood from my arm and I'm squeezing.[2:37:42]   I'm squeezing. It took me maybe 20 minutes to get the first card down.[2:37:46]   I did all the tricks. I was washing my hands in hot water.[2:37:49]   I was shaking them. I was dancing to get my blood going.[2:37:53]   So then I got, you know, four more tests to do.[2:37:55]   So I'm sitting there like all day going.[2:37:58]   Finally, I get to the last kit. Thank God.[2:38:00]   It was a saliva one where I just needed to fill up a tube with spit.[2:38:05]   But check this out. So I find it's so funny.[2:38:09]   I find pizza to be gross. I find cheese to be gross.[2:38:13]   And I found what else did I find that I'm just grossed out by and everyone thought it was me being picky.[2:38:19]   Right. So I get my food sensitivity test back.[2:38:22]   Guess what? I'm fully allergic to top in the red dairy.[2:38:29]   So all my life when I got nauseated by it. Well, I was right.[2:38:33]   So it's not just I think cheese is gross. I was right.[2:38:36]   My body hates cheese. What was else on the list?[2:38:38]   So because this next one was good.[2:38:40]   There was something else on the list where I go, oh, and you thought I just hated that because I was being like a faggot.[2:38:47]   No, it makes me sick and you would force me to eat it.[2:38:51]   Remember that? Here, maybe I could open my Everly test live on the air.[2:38:54]   Have you guys ever taken one of these Everly tests?[2:38:57]   I want to do it now. You guys should be taking these.[2:39:00]   I won't do the one. There's one, the gut test. I get to that one.[2:39:04]   The instruction is you got to put your duty on the card.[2:39:08]   I'm not kidding. That test has not been processed.[2:39:13]   Let's just say I did the duty part, but I haven't sent it in because I'm saving it.[2:39:17]   Okay. No, this is my workout app. Okay.[2:39:20]   I got a lot of cool apps now from the app store.[2:39:23]   Sorry, that was just my workout app.[2:39:25]   Yeah, I got two workout apps.[2:39:27]   So, but that means that we can enjoy cheese if we're not lactose intolerant.[2:39:31]   This is a-[2:39:32]   Well, I don't know. I mean, can you really though?[2:39:34]   How many of you are getting sick without knowing?[2:39:37]   The reason we started talking about this at pasta night was because they put on-[2:39:41]   Wait, one of my tests is missing here.[2:39:43]   Oh, there it is. Food sensitivity test. It's hidden under register a new test.[2:39:48]   You wish. By the way, these things are all very expensive.[2:39:52]   How come I can't get to this?[2:39:54]   I'm hidden under register a new kit. It's got a tile up there. This is a mess.[2:40:00]   Well, you'd be shocked to hear the next food that I'm allergic to,[2:40:05]   but I don't think I'll be able to open that for you.[2:40:08]   Wow. They've hidden me from that. It's a mistake on the app, a glitch.[2:40:12]   I guess this is a glitch.[2:40:17]   But yeah, so it turns out everything that I've always hated,[2:40:20]   but the moral of the story is everything that I was kind of like,[2:40:23]   I don't like that.[2:40:25]   Turns out I'm actually allergic to, and it's very, and bread is like the top one.[2:40:31]   So like bread and cheese, food sensitivity.[2:40:35]   Okay. Which could be causing a lot of these problems for me building up over time.[2:40:40]   So exactly. I, for Jules,[2:40:44]   after even knowing that bread was in red said, if you do this bread stuff,[2:40:49]   you could die. She wanted to go to pasta night.[2:40:54]   I go, but my bread thing. And she goes, oh, and got really depressed.[2:40:59]   So I said, you know what? Pasta night it is. Come on. And she goes, no,[2:41:03]   are you sure you're going to get sick? I go, I will get.[2:41:06]   And then I did get sick. This is the weirdest part.[2:41:09]   I got really tired and unfocused the next day,[2:41:14]   just from some bread. What do you think about that?[2:41:19]   So all that to say, Ethan can't even put on one shoe.[2:41:21]   Ethan can't even put on shoes.[2:41:23]   For his wife, you're puking for me.[2:41:26]   Wait till you see how nice I'm going to look when I actually don't eat bread.[2:41:29]   I'm going to lose all this baby weight. Okay.[2:41:32]   So here we'll watch the rest of Ethan getting creamed and then we'll show you[2:41:35]   these. We've got one from Ethan himself.[2:41:37]   Maybe this is the problem though. You'll see what I mean in a second.[2:41:41]   Here you go. To me, it's just not that important to me.[2:41:45]   You know what I mean? Yeah.[2:41:48]   We do live in a society.[2:41:51]   Oh, we live in a society. Oh,[2:41:55]   look at his face. We do live in, and this is coming from healer the shooter[2:41:59]   Klein. We do live in a society. Yeah.[2:42:03]   I can say that to you when you post your workout videos.[2:42:06]   This is a society. Okay. You're not being societal[2:42:10]   right now. You're being psycho. So this is a society.[2:42:14]   Look at Ethan's face.[2:42:22]   That's that's shame. Oh,[2:42:26]   look at that. They're all laughing.[2:42:30]   We live in a society, society, society.[2:42:34]   You know, he's[2:42:38]   in his head. They don't think I'm society[2:42:42]   worthy. Please go into a deep depression[2:42:46]   on me. Here. I made it looking like this.[2:42:50]   Isn't that awesome? That is, yeah. No, that's so like[2:42:54]   the norm though. I'd like to see a niece that surprises me. He goes,[2:42:58]   but I made it looking like this. I'm a millionaire looking like that. And they both look at[2:43:02]   this. This is some adult insight. Listen. Awesome. That is[2:43:06]   yeah. No, that's so like the norm though.[2:43:10]   It really is. Being like, think about like all the men that are[2:43:14]   like mediocre in style and kind of like statement that[2:43:18]   make it big. Like I would say like David Portnoy. Yeah. Like who's that[2:43:22]   guy? Well, no, David Portnoy thinks he's fashionable. Let me stop you there.[2:43:26]   But he's not. And like other men look at him and[2:43:30]   they're like, see, that guy's awesome. And he didn't have to do anything. So then they like praise[2:43:34]   the men that are like them. They all, by the way, like all these[2:43:38]   lib people, they think Dave Portnoy is like an Andrew Tate type[2:43:42]   guy. They really do like these types of people. They[2:43:46]   all talk about Dave Portnoy as if he's like some evil Trump[2:43:50]   type figure. They've got them totally backwards.[2:43:54]   They really do. I mean, they should be friends. They're like basically[2:43:58]   part of the same scene. They just don't know it. That guy's awesome. And he didn't[2:44:02]   have to do anything. So then they like praise the men that are like them.[2:44:06]   Listen, men who take care of themselves to look good,[2:44:10]   God bless them. Portnoy is trying. Ethan's not.[2:44:14]   I think that's the difference. Portnoy is trying. Ethan is[2:44:18]   not. That's the difference. I mean, Ethan's[2:44:22]   getting sad here. Portnoy is trying. Ethan's not.[2:44:26]   I think that's the difference. Like he's trying. Portnoy puts boat shoes[2:44:30]   on, but I feel like, like for example, like Hassan, right? Like[2:44:34]   Hassan gets so much shit for like expressing himself in like really interesting ways.[2:44:38]   Does he? Yeah. A lot. They're people like, really? Yeah.[2:44:42]   Reippers they call them. But it's because they don't want a reality where they have to[2:44:46]   like think about not just getting their mommy to shave their head every[2:44:50]   month. You know what I mean? I do normcore. That's what they call it.[2:44:54]   Oh no. No, it's true. That's valid. Yeah. Yeah.[2:44:58]   The vibe is basically like, no one can look at old pictures of me and make fun[2:45:02]   of my style because it was just the most[2:45:06]   average appearance of the past. It is very, uh,[2:45:10]   when I was young, low risk, low reward. I think when I was[2:45:14]   younger, I wore really flamboyant clothes[2:45:18]   because I thought it was funny and everyone had a laugh and it got[2:45:22]   a lot of attention. As I've grown older, I don't[2:45:26]   like drawing attention on myself at all. So[2:45:30]   things that are more loud or flashy, I find myself[2:45:34]   But sometimes like what you do is pretty loud. Like[2:45:38]   going out to a restaurant like this is kind of drawing attention to yourself.[2:45:42]   The adults. The adults.[2:45:46]   My drawer.[2:45:50]   The adults. Look at this face. And then intervention.[2:45:54]   It is very intervention like.[2:45:58]   The only thing that's missing is the waiter butting in at the wrong time.[2:46:02]   They're all staring at that retard.[2:46:06]   But I don't know. I don't know. Yeah. I like when Adam Sandler[2:46:10]   is my fashion icon. That's valid, but that's a car. I feel like[2:46:14]   that's a, you don't really mean that Adam Sandler is a fashion icon,[2:46:18]   but like, I feel like you're not doing it. Are you doing it[2:46:22]   like Adam Sandler is doing it or are you doing it? No. No.[2:46:26]   Is Adam Sandler doing it like Adam Sandler is doing it? Then they go over all these Adam Sandler picks and it turns[2:46:30]   out, yes, he does look pretty bomb. And all the picks[2:46:34]   and Ethan looks still disgusting. Do we have another time? I got a 103 to skip[2:46:38]   the Adam Sandler part. 103. Let's skip the Adam Sandler part. 103?[2:46:42]   Yes. Great. Excited. Shredder![2:46:46]   And then, so yeah, they're still arguing about this and then watch what happens.[2:46:50]   Different. These are all different. That one's different for sure.[2:46:54]   I'm a fashion legend. You guys need to recognize.[2:46:58]   So the intern brings out two frozen pizzas.[2:47:02]   Speaking of Dave Portney, Ethan decided[2:47:06]   he wanted to eat some pizza on the show. So he bought Barstool[2:47:10]   Sports' one bite frozen pizza[2:47:14]   in stores now. So they were gonna[2:47:18]   do a pizza taste test of Dave Portney's pizza to[2:47:22]   prove how shitty it was. Now they're all talking about Ethan's fashion[2:47:26]   and then these pizzas come and watch what Ethan does.[2:47:30]   Different for sure. Shredder! I'm a fashion legend. You guys need to[2:47:34]   recognize. Thank you.[2:47:38]   People are gonna be analyzing photos of me in 10, 15 years.[2:47:42]   Talking about Ethan Klein, normcore god.[2:47:46]   If you are trying maybe, but you're not actually.[2:47:50]   But it's the act of not trying that is the trying.[2:47:54]   But there's so many men out there that are doing that.[2:47:58]   Nobody does what I do. It's not interesting, right?[2:48:02]   Who does what I do? And this is coming from[2:48:06]   Ludenisa, who is getting sexier by the sentence, by the way, to me.[2:48:10]   I could see why those luge were worth valuable coin on the AI[2:48:14]   scene. I'd like a Anissa AI[2:48:18]   interpretation, full video, 45 minutes.[2:48:22]   Full nude, please. AI only though. I don't want to see her real body.[2:48:26]   But yeah, so Anissa's starting to[2:48:30]   dig in here. It's not interesting, right?[2:48:34]   Who does what I do? I'm trying to make a point. David Portnoy.[2:48:38]   No, he tried. Nobody goes outside with less effort[2:48:42]   than me. Nobody. You're wrong.[2:48:46]   There's a lot of reliance on Hila, which is like,[2:48:50]   I feel like that's like, I try to tell[2:48:54]   him what to wear. He doesn't listen. I mean, it's just like the,[2:48:58]   just the Teddy Fresh drip is available at all times.[2:49:02]   If he didn't have Teddy Fresh. Now, this is interesting. He wears Teddy[2:49:06]   Fresh. He really looks horrible in these Teddy Fresh outfits. Have you seen him in these t-shirts?[2:49:10]   He really looks bad. His body looks so misshapen.[2:49:14]   Keep that in mind. Yeah. I feel like every like 14 year old[2:49:18]   boy going to class puts in less effort than you.[2:49:22]   So he is sick of being[2:49:26]   intervented. They're all saying they're continuing. They're all going to run, taking turns[2:49:30]   now. And their grievances are getting a little more[2:49:34]   truthful, more honest each time around. I feel like a 14 year old[2:49:38]   kid going to school like a poor kid. He's got no one.[2:49:42]   He tries more than you. So Ethan just[2:49:46]   kind of starts shutting down here and goes into pizza[2:49:50]   mode. They haven't, this was supposed to be[2:49:54]   a segmented out taste test. Nobody's wrapped anything[2:49:58]   up. We're still talking about Ethan's clothes. Ethan.[2:50:02]   See he reaches for food when he panics. He's got what's called a food[2:50:06]   addiction. It's very similar to Zac Amico. And what he'll[2:50:10]   do, sorry Zac. It's time.[2:50:14]   What he'll do is if there's food around and he's getting nervous, he'll[2:50:18]   stuff. And I've never seen anything like it. He gives us the pleasure of seeing this all[2:50:22]   the time. He will speed eat[2:50:26]   out of nervousness even if all the cameras are on. It would be like[2:50:30]   me if somebody was like saying something bad about me and I was going[2:50:38]   He'll do that with food. It's like Tony will do that with a[2:50:42]   Sharpie. Have you ever seen Tony on Kill Tony when he starts getting mad? He starts going like this.[2:50:46]   Yeah. And it's like Tony, we could see that.[2:50:50]   You're spazzing the news.[2:50:54]   So here goes Ethan. He's just going to, without even thinking, and remember[2:50:58]   this is supposed to be a bit where they all tried it at the same time. He's getting attacked[2:51:02]   so he reaches for that slice. Boy going to[2:51:06]   class puts in less effort than you.[2:51:10]   I don't, you cannot, okay, whatever. We're going to do this.[2:51:14]   Whatever. Okay, whatever. We're eating this. And it's like[2:51:18]   no, this was supposed to, you were supposed to, okay, whatever. Here's the next[2:51:22]   segment and then discuss it. Set it up. But no, whatever. And then[2:51:26]   he just goes, we're eating this, which we are not.[2:51:30]   Yeah. I don't, you cannot, okay, whatever. We're going to do this.[2:51:34]   Listen, this shit is floppy as hell. It's not crispy.[2:51:38]   Here's my, here's my, look how disgusting that[2:51:42]   is. Damn. Oh, now they're showing more of Ethan's clothes. Yeah, look at that drip.[2:51:46]   Here he is in a suit and shorts.[2:51:50]   I tried the cheese. He already tried it. This is David Portnoy's one bite. And then he twitches[2:51:54]   another giveaway. I tried the cheese. He only[2:51:58]   twitches when he's severely nervous. He even read the definition of his twitches online.[2:52:02]   So if you, he already told us, I only twitch[2:52:06]   when I'm like really nervous or like lying or trying to cover something[2:52:10]   up. And then meanwhile, I'll be fucking twitching all the time. It's like, are you really nervous[2:52:14]   lying or covering something up? Because that's what you said you twitch from.[2:52:18]   Oh yeah. So that's why it's like[2:52:22]   maybe you're just retarded. Are you just fully retarded? So here he is eating the pizza.[2:52:26]   I tried the cheese. This is David Portnoy's[2:52:30]   one bite pizza. You can only take one bite.[2:52:34]   Or one slice it says.[2:52:38]   Look at the meat though. We got to watch the meat. He loves eating. Oh, come on.[2:52:42]   Cut to Ethan, please. That is the most mediocre[2:52:46]   cafeteria aspect you can ever imagine. He chews with his mouth wide open.[2:52:50]   Wide open. He doesn't know[2:52:54]   that even though they've told him a million Ethan people are writing in, you got to[2:52:58]   chew with your mouth closed. They hate it.[2:53:02]   I couldn't even try to do what he's doing. It's so revolting.[2:53:06]   He's never had any rules, but okay, let's figure this out. He always looks so dumpy[2:53:10]   and horrible, right? So I actually got a Teddy Fresh shirt here.[2:53:14]   I buy all the Fools merch. I mean, even from Cameron Esposito,[2:53:18]   Melton Denny, if there's Fools merch, I buy it. I'm day one.[2:53:22]   It's only fair. And I'll tell you, I'd be wearing this Fools merch[2:53:26]   all the time if any of it failed.[2:53:30]   The t-shirts, the Fools, I mean, when I[2:53:34]   say Fools, I mean anybody online who's selling t-shirts right now. The t-shirts that have been[2:53:38]   getting out every month, they get cheaper and cheaper and[2:53:42]   cheaper. And guess what? The price gets higher and higher[2:53:46]   and higher. Fools shirts are about 45 bucks now. From Andrew Santino[2:53:50]   to Andrew Schultz to Eva Klein, 45 is[2:53:54]   where they're comfortable doing the shirt. They're spending maybe[2:53:58]   one to three dollars. I know I get the same[2:54:02]   catalogs as they do and they get even bigger price breaks[2:54:06]   for the quantity. You know, they're doing large, large quantities.[2:54:10]   So they're trying to, every time they do a merch drop, they try to find a way[2:54:14]   to cut the quality while increasing the price.[2:54:18]   And I was very excited to wear this shirt and I'll show you this[2:54:22]   shirt. This is from Teddy Fresh and it's a hand-drawn piece by[2:54:26]   Ethan himself. Let's get that retail music going. A hand-drawn piece[2:54:30]   by Ethan himself. You've seen this one. This caused waves on Twitter.[2:54:34]   It's the Elon Musk is a pithish[2:54:38]   shirt. So here is Elon[2:54:42]   Musk and of course Ethan drew over him. However,[2:54:46]   I think there was some thievery. There's a, I don't think Ethan[2:54:50]   drew this sketch of Elon Musk. I think this is a sketch they found[2:54:54]   on Google. And Ethan thought that that was fair game because he's[2:54:58]   covering it. So the only part that's Ethan made is[2:55:02]   can you see this? Maybe the close-up cam is better for this. So[2:55:06]   he did the devil horns. He did the Elon Musk is a piece of shit.[2:55:10]   Who would wear a shirt that says Elon Musk is a piece of shit? Well, really think[2:55:14]   about that. I mean, would you go out in a shirt like this?[2:55:18]   I was going to wear it. I go, this will be a perfect shirt to surprise people wear under[2:55:22]   a cardigan, right? Surprise people. I'll wear this under[2:55:26]   a cardigan. Well, here's the truth. And this is a medium.[2:55:30]   This was made to wear under a cardigan. So I didn't want[2:55:34]   it to loose. This is a medium and I'm here to tell you[2:55:38]   I can't even wear it under a cardigan[2:55:44]   at all. It is so billowy. It's cut. So Hela Klein[2:55:48]   and Ethan, they cut their own cloth, meaning they actually[2:55:52]   design. They don't just buy blanks. They buy the fabric[2:55:56]   and they cut their own t-shirts. This is the most[2:56:00]   I don't know if you could tell here. This is immediate. You should try to put it on[2:56:04]   over top of your sweater. No, there's no way. No way. I put this on. I had[2:56:08]   tits. I looked so fat.[2:56:12]   I mean, there's really not a t-shirt I can't wear.[2:56:16]   Like I could pretty much put on any t-shirt and it looks great on me.[2:56:20]   I put this on and even with rolling up the sleeves and trying to[2:56:24]   it was so thin and it almost had like extra[2:56:28]   room in the tits. It like created[2:56:32]   almost as if Hela is designing the shirts based[2:56:36]   on Ethan's frame or something. But[2:56:40]   I'm going if I look this shitty and fat in this shirt and I'm telling you like the[2:56:44]   sleeves made your arms look like really short[2:56:48]   and then it had extra fabric here. It just hung like it went from[2:56:52]   thin to wide. It's completely embarrassing.[2:56:56]   Enough to the point where I mean it was one of those deals where I ripped it off immediately.[2:57:00]   I was mad and you can see through it.[2:57:04]   It's that thin. So it's this butter color[2:57:08]   and here's my biggest pet peeve. If the collar was super[2:57:12]   thin too, you can't see it here but you put this on and the collar[2:57:16]   will stand out as thick and then this is thinner.[2:57:20]   That's one of my least favorite looks where the collar is[2:57:24]   not transparent but the[2:57:28]   rest is transparent. Sure. So I was going to[2:57:32]   let everybody know that I think Hela Klein has been cutting these[2:57:36]   shirts all wrong and anybody who puts this on is going to look like a big fat. Half the reason Ethan looks[2:57:40]   so bad all the time could be the cut of these shirts because that's all he wears.[2:57:44]   We're giving this away. We're going to pick a[2:57:48]   random person from the mailing list today and we're going to give this to them.[2:57:52]   It's a size medium but it fits like a 3XL. No joke[2:57:56]   that's yours. And our next piece of fools merch comes from[2:58:00]   everybody's favorite. We love this guy.[2:58:04]   Big Mike Fox. Big Mike. Hey Big Mike[2:58:08]   come on down. He released this next piece of merch and he was actually[2:58:12]   promo-ing this for so many months and I've been[2:58:16]   dying to get this shirt. It's for his YouTube show The Night Shift.[2:58:20]   Big Mike from The Night Shift. So here's his shirt.[2:58:24]   Oh wait a minute. No that's not Big Mike's shirt.[2:58:28]   This is Warren Lotus. This is a beautiful[2:58:32]   t-shirt. Made of very hair. Show this in the close up.[2:58:36]   Can you see? The close up. Yeah there it is. The screen printing[2:58:40]   is gorgeous on here. It's almost a work of art. Warren Lotus. You might have[2:58:44]   seen him on Instagram. I know why I got that confused because this is Big Mike's shirt.[2:58:48]   Wow. Wow. The Night Shift. He[2:58:52]   stole the Warren Lotus drip as they say.[2:58:56]   Warren Lotus is of course a pretty[2:59:00]   popular, almost famous Instagram artist.[2:59:04]   And he makes these shirts like this with these[2:59:08]   reapers and these skulls and these flames. And they're really[2:59:12]   nice quality. Like he goes all out. These are expensive right? Like hundreds?[2:59:16]   The quality is amazing. The screen printing looks like[2:59:20]   somebody painted this on. It really is the best.[2:59:24]   Big Mike stole the look but did not[2:59:28]   steal the quality. Uh oh Big Mike. $45.[2:59:32]   This was $63 with shipping.[2:59:36]   $63. The Night Shift just completely stole this[2:59:40]   artist's style. He gets no credit.[2:59:44]   I'm sure you've seen stuff like this. The Lakers ones that Warren Lotus does.[2:59:48]   And he did it all wrong. It's not even the same style and the quality is[2:59:52]   terrible. On the back, he didn't know what to put.[2:59:56]   So on the back is a list of all the[3:00:00]   burger places I've been to.[3:00:04]   On the back is a list of all the[3:00:08]   burger restaurants he's been to.[3:00:12]   So there that is. This shirt as well is[3:00:16]   let's see what size this is. This is a large which is my usual[3:00:20]   shirt size. Let's see if we can see how big that is.[3:00:24]   This is a large. Look at this on me.[3:00:28]   Look at this. I wore that around the house the other day and it was like[3:00:32]   down to my knees. It's insane. I mean not since Kanye's[3:00:36]   crazy shirt have I seen something like this. It'll basically only fit Big Mike himself.[3:00:40]   Only Big Mike's body could fit this unwearable. I tried[3:00:44]   rolling up the sleeves. I did everything. It looked like I was at the barbershop[3:00:48]   with the cape on. I mean it really is like they could tie[3:00:52]   this behind me and I could be fully in it to get[3:00:56]   my hair cut. That's how big it is. So what[3:01:00]   gives you the right and how are any of his fans going around wearing this?[3:01:04]   You know when Big Mike wears it, it looks fine right?[3:01:08]   It looks fine. So is his body that crazy?[3:01:12]   He must be huge. And I'm telling you the cuts are all off. It's very short[3:01:16]   too. Like it really is short. Short and wide[3:01:20]   and just terrible. So that's the review[3:01:24]   of two beautiful pieces of Fool's merch. We'll give this one away so you[3:01:28]   guys can have that. But we want a picture to see if you[3:01:32]   could wear it better. This Warren Lotus one is ours. We're keeping[3:01:36]   it. We'll take a break. We'll be right back with much more[3:01:40]   and we're done. Don't go anywhere.[3:02:10]   Don't go anywhere.[3:02:40]   Thank you.[3:02:52]   Thank you.[3:03:10]   Thank you.[3:03:40]   Thank you.[3:04:10]   Come on![3:04:14]   We're starting![3:04:32]   Pretty good? Coming back![3:04:40]   Welcome back to Red Bar.[3:04:44]   The show that goes anywhere, does frankly anything.[3:04:48]   Thank you so much for your continued support. Supporting Israel.[3:04:52]   Gotcha![3:04:56]   100% of the proceeds here at Red Bar go to[3:05:00]   Supporting Israel.[3:05:04]   So thank you for that. RedBarRadio.net[3:05:08]   slash Scars Club. We beg for you[3:05:12]   not to steal the show and why should you[3:05:16]   not steal the show? Well, hey man, we're just asking[3:05:20]   you know, could you not steal our stuff? Thanks, man. Thanks, bro.[3:05:24]   Sure. Oh, no? Oh, okay.[3:05:28]   So then you're robbing me. Well, what do I do about that?[3:05:32]   Okay, I'll just let people rob me then.[3:05:36]   Do not steal. Welcome to Red Bar. Thank you for being a[3:05:40]   Scars Club member. It's very important. I just found out that Ryan Morris, Sparking Tigers[3:05:44]   is not a Scars Club member. Hasn't been since 2016.[3:05:48]   So he's been taken out of our group. Thank you.[3:05:52]   I'm sorry. Can't pose.[3:05:56]   We're[3:06:00]   cool. We are very cool, Ryan. But please stop stealing, okay?[3:06:04]   No more stealing from people. It's not what you guys[3:06:08]   you know, and a lot of people out here are all these people watching the show. Imagine if Brandon Chob stole[3:06:12]   something. Wow. Oh my[3:06:16]   God. That was just the worst thing in the world. So don't[3:06:20]   steal. Especially when somebody[3:06:24]   asks you face to face not to steal.[3:06:28]   You're going crazy if you continue[3:06:32]   to steal. How about this? Steal, but if someone[3:06:36]   asks you not to steal from them, don't. Thank you.[3:06:40]   Pretty sane way to go about[3:06:44]   life. But they'll continue to support it.[3:06:48]   Okay. Shout out to Robin Tran. I saw somebody in the chat just[3:06:52]   say, I keep hearing Mike say Robin Tran. Who is that?[3:06:56]   You don't want to know, bro.[3:07:02]   Alright, light news, light news. Oh, before we get into light news,[3:07:06]   I have an announcement. I'd like to repeat this once per month[3:07:10]   here on Rebar. YouTube shorts[3:07:14]   must end. Anybody[3:07:18]   doing YouTube shorts cannot be trusted.[3:07:22]   Very similar to the manscaped thing, but I think even worse. Is[3:07:26]   anybody here, raise your hands, ever watched a short[3:07:30]   that they liked? The answer is no.[3:07:34]   If I go to my YouTube right now, it is a mess.[3:07:38]   My submissions box is what I call my subscription box. My[3:07:42]   submissions box, because they're all submitting to me by playing me these videos of themselves[3:07:46]   that they've made, is[3:07:50]   littered. I mean, I got to scroll for, you know, eight scrolls down[3:07:54]   to get to a traditional video shot in its full frame[3:07:58]   because I'm skipping by what I call digital[3:08:02]   pieces of litter. Talked about this before.[3:08:06]   Hey, you know, and I would like to introduce this idea to the woke.[3:08:10]   Here's a good one for the woke. What about digital litter?[3:08:14]   I would like to see the woke take this off my hands, go after some people. To me,[3:08:18]   anything you upload online that is just a piece of[3:08:22]   crap, whether it be a picture, a tweet, one of these[3:08:26]   shorts, you're basically rolling up a Wendy's wrapper and[3:08:30]   tossing it out the window and laughing as you drive away. You're littering.[3:08:34]   And every time you upload, there is a computer[3:08:38]   doing a process, which is burning energy. You're[3:08:42]   literally, if I want to, I can technically[3:08:46]   bust you on actual destruction of the planet.[3:08:50]   Each time you post. Now think about these people[3:08:54]   that post hundreds and hundreds of things.[3:08:58]   I mean, they're the worst defenders. So when I see these shorts[3:09:02]   and I see the processing power that's been taking to burn, I mean, it's[3:09:06]   not easy. When we film one of these eight hour episodes,[3:09:10]   it takes approximately 14[3:09:14]   hours to process. What does that mean? You know how people go, Mike,[3:09:18]   wasn't there a show last night? Where's the show? It's processing.[3:09:22]   So when you finish making a video, now you've got to transcode it.[3:09:26]   You've got to make five different copies for all the different quality[3:09:30]   pickers. So you've got to make a 1080p copy, a 1440p copy,[3:09:34]   720p. And each of those is if you imagine you[3:09:38]   take like a one hour video at home, bring it into an editing program, and then[3:09:42]   export it. It takes quite a long time, even if you have a fast computer.[3:09:46]   So when we do an eight hour show, it's got to process[3:09:50]   eight hours of video five times. So it takes[3:09:54]   14 hours. That's a computer running, that's fans,[3:09:58]   that's systems in place. So[3:10:02]   imagine all the shorts, every short out there. And you know why[3:10:06]   they're doing the shorts? Did you even know this? Not only is it creating[3:10:10]   mega pollution, but the only reason[3:10:14]   creators, and by creators, by the way, everybody[3:10:18]   is in trouble here. Louis J. Gomez, Gas Digital,[3:10:22]   Compound Media, every YouTube[3:10:26]   channel. It's interesting the ones who don't do it. The ones who don't do it[3:10:30]   are actually when you see those who do it and those who don't do it, you go, oh,[3:10:34]   a better person and a shittier person. You can like really[3:10:38]   see who a person is and what they're about by if they do shorts.[3:10:42]   So, no, go ahead. You're muted. I was going to say YouTube is trying to be[3:10:46]   TikTok. Sure. Of course. But I mean, even if all the shorts on YouTube[3:10:50]   were more like TikToks where it was actually like content created[3:10:54]   for that, then it would be better. Sure.[3:10:58]   Well, here's the problem. It would be fine. Here's the problem. But they just put the most nonsensical[3:11:02]   clips. Here's the problem. And it's[3:11:06]   really, I mean, I'm getting[3:11:10]   mad. TikTok comes out[3:11:14]   and they do a thing where every view you get on TikTok, they[3:11:18]   count as five. So[3:11:22]   all of a sudden everyone on TikTok gets the most followers.[3:11:26]   Their views get the most views. Yeah. The spy[3:11:30]   program from China that you always talk about. You can't stop talking about that.[3:11:34]   The same company that brought you the spy balloon[3:11:38]   in Kavitika, some say, made an app where they go[3:11:42]   how can we get everybody on this app? Well, okay. If they get 10 followers[3:11:46]   tell them they got 200. It's as simple as that. For every follower they get[3:11:50]   given 10. Spread it out randomly so they think it's organic.[3:11:54]   And now you have everybody going on TikTok going, I get 10 billion views![3:11:58]   You're not. You're getting about 2,000.[3:12:02]   And the rest is garbage and fake and they're doing it to keep you on the app[3:12:06]   because you go, I get no views on Instagram, Facebook or[3:12:10]   Twitter. But on TikTok, it's like what do you[3:12:14]   think is happening? You're just, it's just working better?[3:12:18]   No. It's a scam. You all fell for it.[3:12:22]   And then what do the other apps do? The other apps now go, well we can't[3:12:26]   lose our customers to TikTok. They're all there. Now we got to do the same[3:12:30]   scam. So YouTube introduces shorts. And guess what they[3:12:34]   do to get everybody to make shorts? They incentivize[3:12:38]   creators. It makes me sick saying creators. If you consider yourself to be a creator[3:12:46]   you know what you need to create next.[3:12:50]   So they incentivize creators by going, if you make a short it's going to be[3:12:54]   like unregulated. So if you make a video on YouTube, nope. It's got to be[3:12:58]   in the algorithm. Maybe if you've got 10,000 subscribers only[3:13:02]   2,000 are going to see it. But if you make a short, here's the deal.[3:13:06]   We pass it on to everybody. You're going to get so many views[3:13:10]   on your shorts because you're doing what TikTok did. They want you on there[3:13:14]   making the content for them. So they're incentivizing you[3:13:18]   and going, oh, so on TikTok you like when you get millions of views? Here's a million views here[3:13:22]   for your short. Now go make some more. And they're all doing it.[3:13:26]   And it's littered up my sub box every day[3:13:30]   and it couldn't look crummier. Let's see if I could get you an example[3:13:34]   of what this looks like. It couldn't look worse[3:13:38]   aesthetically. Let's just go to my[3:13:42]   sub box. Take a look. And I'll show you what I mean. I just want to make sure[3:13:46]   there's nothing of a lack of integrity on this screen[3:13:50]   that will be exposed. These all look pretty[3:13:54]   good. Proud to show you. Here's my sub box.[3:13:58]   Wow. Wow, is it disgusting.[3:14:02]   So here you go. This is what I mean. See how most of it is shorts.[3:14:06]   Look at this. On a whole page you've got one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine,[3:14:10]   ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen videos. Out of the fifteen[3:14:14]   videos, one, two,[3:14:18]   three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine,[3:14:22]   ten are shorts. All videos I don't need to see.[3:14:26]   Some of these are nine seconds. Some of these[3:14:30]   are thirteen seconds. Louis J. Gomez. Let's see what needed to be out there.[3:14:34]   Well, he might be a good example. Who's like the worst[3:14:38]   example? Here's Brendan Schaub. Look at this. Guess who does shorts?[3:14:42]   The Fighter and the Kid. They're doing shorts. I'm telling you, if you find someone[3:14:46]   doing shorts, they're bad. Unless they're creating an original[3:14:50]   short from scratch. But no. What people are doing is they go[3:14:54]   oh, shorts get more views on YouTube? So this is what I want you to do.[3:14:58]   Cut out any, close your eyes.[3:15:02]   Throw a dart. Any nine seconds, just cut it. It doesn't matter if it's[3:15:06]   even stepping on a word that we're saying. And that's[3:15:10]   what Fighter and the Kid. So this is Fighter and the Kid's short. And it's called[3:15:14]   We're Almost There, Sloan's Directional. Oh no, that's Macklemore.[3:15:18]   It's called Trey Lewis Contestant on American Idol. Let's see what[3:15:22]   needed to be posted. So bad it is, how many seconds[3:15:26]   is this one? What can I say? Do I have to pull out to see the seconds? I thought we were showing[3:15:30]   seconds here. Alright, let's find out. Here's the short that needed to be uploaded.[3:15:34]   We got sound. He was on a mass shooting, a school shooting.[3:15:38]   Us eight of his friends. He's in the same room. And he goes, I never had confidence to sing, kind of a bigger kid with[3:15:42]   a mullet. And he starts singing. Is this their music? Wow, okay.[3:15:46]   So this is the kind of stuff it is. And it's a beautiful shot. Again, they've cropped Brendan[3:15:50]   out of their pocket. How does he look like this? Maybe this Fighter and the[3:15:54]   kid read it is actually spot on. Because if I[3:15:58]   saw this, because I thought a lot of brown[3:16:02]   because to me, I think Brendan's cool.[3:16:06]   This is him.[3:16:10]   Look at this. And it's a full crotch shot. But I want to show you this needed to be[3:16:14]   uploaded. How long is this? Can you can't even fast forward or anything with you?[3:16:18]   Whiskey Myers got me a clip from American Idol.[3:16:22]   Katy Perry just starts crying. She's like in tears. You've never seen this emotional.[3:16:26]   She's like, America has failed you. Okay, so they posted this[3:16:30]   one to get some clicks off the Katy Perry incident that happened at American Idol.[3:16:34]   But watch, it's going to end so quickly. You should be here to sing because you want to sing,[3:16:38]   not because you're. And they all do that. If you see someone who puts text on the screen,[3:16:42]   you need to cut them out of your life. Trust me on this.[3:16:46]   Any entertainer putting their own[3:16:50]   closed captioning with a different[3:16:54]   that because you know why they do that. What if the person has their volume down?[3:16:58]   Yeah. What if maybe they're not in the right[3:17:02]   mindset to watch a video if their volume[3:17:06]   is off? You know what I you know[3:17:10]   one of the small requirements of watching Red Bears that you hear it.[3:17:14]   But some people aren't even looking[3:17:18]   at their phone or have their phone on. How can we get to them?[3:17:22]   You can't.[3:17:26]   This is what I mean. Only a sleazebag is doing this. Taking advantage of[3:17:30]   loopholes and flooding people's inboxes with bullshit nonsense[3:17:34]   like this. And it needs to be shamed. When you see someone do a[3:17:38]   short, go shame on you. Here's Louis. Let's see what needed to be said.[3:17:42]   I feel bad for like just like a hot actress now. Mm hmm. Like[3:17:46]   she has to like like all the commercials. Everyone's average looking[3:17:50]   all the TV shows. Everyone's average looking all like major movies now.[3:17:54]   Like I'm watching a Marvel movie. I'm like again, they pick anything from the podcast.[3:17:58]   Any boring ass thing. Doesn't matter. Just make it.[3:18:02]   Put the text and they all do the text. They all just copy each other now.[3:18:06]   There's nothing of value being said in these shorts.[3:18:10]   Both of these are pretty much the best[3:18:14]   shorts I've ever seen quality wise. They get even worse.[3:18:18]   And it's all shorts. Uncensored saints. Let's see what this is.[3:18:22]   Bubby is like her grandma impression.[3:18:26]   What I would say is like of a Jewish grandma. Right? Yes. Bubby is the[3:18:30]   Yiddish word for grandma. And you know, stereotypically Bubby's[3:18:34]   are. So, okay. If you want to do this. I wanted to hear what[3:18:38]   Bubby's are. Put it on YouTube. Make a separate column[3:18:42]   called shorts. And if I choose to go through a bunch of crap shorts[3:18:46]   litter. I could click on it and go there. But how dare you[3:18:50]   fill up my sub box. Fifteen shorts a screen.[3:18:54]   At least please can everyone just make a separate channel for shorts.[3:18:58]   Eat it for clips. But I'm not taking back what I said. If you make shorts[3:19:02]   you're desperate. You're manipulative. You're[3:19:06]   greedy. And you're just in this[3:19:10]   to play this video game that[3:19:14]   is these algorithms that you bow to and obey.[3:19:18]   You know, I really don't want to be a part of it.[3:19:22]   Any longer. So I won't.[3:19:26]   Well, thank you. So that was just a light announcement. And then we're going to[3:19:30]   go into light news. Do we have a light news theme song? No. Because we're running a light[3:19:34]   news theme song contest. Are you a recording artist?[3:19:38]   Make us a song. A theme song for the light news. Something like this. Light news.[3:19:42]   Light news. I can't tell you how many people have sent me instrumentals.[3:19:46]   Thinking maybe I'd sing on top of this. I want[3:19:50]   you singing sir. So rewrite it. I got a lot of people who[3:19:54]   submitted with just an instrumental. I could find those[3:19:58]   too. I need singing. Customized[3:20:02]   singing. Something like this. Light news. Light news.[3:20:06]   It gets the best of me too. Why not?[3:20:10]   But better and funnier.[3:20:14]   Not just, I mean, I've got people just sending me like[3:20:18]   What do you think, Mike?[3:20:22]   Huh? I hate it. Renew it.[3:20:26]   But we're having this submission. Please do lyrics. Do an instrumental and a lyric[3:20:30]   version. How about that? And[3:20:34]   remember, this is supposed to be for a comedy show. Keep that in mind.[3:20:38]   Okay. So light news.[3:20:42]   Light news. You got the best of me too. Welcome everybody to light news here today.[3:20:46]   Let's just go through real quick. People, I keep getting people[3:20:50]   calling me saying Mike, this is a friend of yours. He's all[3:20:54]   over the news. The creator of Dilbert, Scott Adams[3:20:58]   made the news. Your friend. I just had, I was with him two weeks[3:21:02]   ago. He was fine. Two weeks ago. He was fine with me.[3:21:06]   And he was telling me how much he loved Robin Tran. He was[3:21:10]   telling me that, you know, that he[3:21:14]   has no issues with Robin Tran. And then this is the[3:21:18]   clip that he put out and cut to the chase[3:21:22]   he's been banned. I haven't even seen this, but I guess he's been banned from every newspaper[3:21:26]   in the country for putting out this clip. What could it be? What could be so bad[3:21:30]   to get your cartoon, you know, this Dilbert cartoon, which I'm not[3:21:34]   interested in that cartoon. Even as a friend of his, I found that cartoon[3:21:38]   to be pretty outdated[3:21:42]   old because it's like a drawing[3:21:46]   in a newspaper. So here he is. And I think he's been on Rogan a few times, right?[3:21:50]   Scott Adams. I think so. Been on Rogan. He definitely has.[3:21:54]   So let's see what he did. I love this. And I think this is already viral enough. People know I[3:21:58]   honestly didn't see the video yet. You haven't. Nope.[3:22:02]   I've heard it in the background. I mean, I've heard people talk about it, but I haven't really.[3:22:06]   Given it my view.[3:22:10]   Nearly half of all blacks are not okay with white people[3:22:14]   according to this poll. Not according to me. According to this poll.[3:22:18]   Blacks. That's a hate group.[3:22:22]   Oh, he's one of these[3:22:26]   anti-Baltimore boys. Kind of like this guy.[3:22:30]   Guess I forgot to laugh. Colin Flaherty. Colin Flaherty was[3:22:34]   one of these black truthers.[3:22:38]   What do you call them? You know how everybody knows exactly what[3:22:42]   blacks are doing, but we go, okay, what do you want us to do?[3:22:46]   We can't just have a war. But then there's some guys who are like, I don't[3:22:50]   understand. This is just data. This is just facts. Black people are[3:22:54]   horrible in every way. What are we doing? And then other people are like, we[3:22:58]   know, but what do you want us to do? Let's just hope they get[3:23:02]   better and just try to stay away from them. So this is[3:23:06]   one of these guys and he's like, come here, where it's like, this isn't going to work[3:23:10]   yet.[3:23:14]   So just, you know, stay away from them[3:23:18]   if you hate them so much or do what we do. Just, you know, just[3:23:22]   say this stuff casually from time to time in a funnier way.[3:23:26]   Imagine I make an announcement. Hello, everybody. Here's[3:23:30]   my worst stuff I could say. Here are the public.[3:23:34]   Teal with it. It's like there's other[3:23:38]   ways to go about this. Snickering. You've got to snicker more with[3:23:42]   stuff like this. You know, it's like Kumi, he just goes, I hate eyes![3:23:46]   Join me! And it's like,[3:23:50]   that's never going to work. You can't do it that way.[3:23:54]   What are you working on? Nearly half of all blacks[3:23:58]   are not okay with white people. According to this poll, not according[3:24:02]   to me, according to this poll, that's a hate group.[3:24:06]   Black people are a hate group. And I don't want to have anything to do with them.[3:24:10]   And I would say, you know, that's crazy to say.[3:24:14]   I don't want to have anything to do with them. That's where they're getting to, like Michael Knowles[3:24:18]   and Ben Shapiro, they all talk like this now about gays and blacks basically.[3:24:22]   It gets like every day they get closer and closer.[3:24:26]   I just don't want anything to do with them. Imagine if you said that, even like Michael[3:24:30]   Richards yelled the n-word and it was less crazy than just[3:24:34]   saying that. Oh, black people? I don't want to have anything to do with them. What? What is the problem[3:24:38]   with saying that as a nationally syndicated cartoonist in every newspaper[3:24:42]   in the country that's famous? What is wrong with all of you? I want black people[3:24:46]   gone. It's like, yeah,[3:24:50]   that's nuts. That's what we consider nuts this[3:24:54]   day and age still. But they forget because they're in their bubbles. They're so[3:24:58]   openly talking like this that they forget, yeah, you can't announce that.[3:25:02]   This was supposed to be secretive talk behind[3:25:06]   the black back. Okay, you idiot. That's a hate group. Blowing it.[3:25:10]   And I don't want to have anything to do with them. Oh. And I would say,[3:25:14]   based on the current way things are going, the best[3:25:18]   advice I would give to white people is to get the hell away from black[3:25:22]   people. Just get the fuck away. Done. Wherever[3:25:26]   you have to go, just get away. That's a huge, uproot[3:25:30]   your life. Do you hate black people?[3:25:34]   No, I'm not racist at all. You want people to move away from[3:25:38]   black people, you said. Yes, at any cost. Why?[3:25:42]   How am I racist? Well,[3:25:46]   you said it's the only way to stop. To stop[3:25:50]   them. And what are you trying to stop them from doing? Move away from[3:25:54]   them at any cost. You could say this as a[3:25:58]   funny joke, not as[3:26:02]   an announcement to the media. And I guess he got this from[3:26:06]   some poll that was a poll of like a thousand people where[3:26:10]   they were like, do you agree with the phrase, it's okay to be[3:26:14]   white? And a lot of black people said no, but[3:26:18]   obviously they meant, it's okay to be white, like the way Crowder would[3:26:22]   say it. Well, anytime you ask, hey, what do you think about this? Whites[3:26:26]   rule, the black. Nah, man.[3:26:30]   Come on, man. Nah. You saw it. They[3:26:34]   denied whites rule, so move away. So then[3:26:38]   he saw that poll and went insane, I guess. We must move away. Guess what? I am[3:26:42]   away. It's pretty easy to move away from them.[3:26:46]   Okay. I don't know if that's actually the point. Is[3:26:50]   anyone arguing that point online? Here, watch.[3:26:54]   Because there's no fixing this.[3:26:58]   This can't be fixed. This can't be fixed.[3:27:02]   You just have to escape. Oh. So that's what I did. I went to a neighborhood where[3:27:06]   I have a very low black population, because unfortunately[3:27:10]   there's a high correlation between the density, and this is[3:27:14]   according to Don Lemon, by the way. So here I'm just quoting Don Lemon[3:27:18]   when he notes that when he[3:27:22]   lived in a mostly black neighborhood, there were a bunch[3:27:26]   of problems that he didn't see in white neighborhoods. So even Don Lemon[3:27:30]   sees a big difference in your own[3:27:34]   quality of living based on... Don Lemon's not black, though. He's[3:27:38]   whack! Wow. Gay cancels out[3:27:42]   black. If you're gay, you're out of the black community.[3:27:46]   That's just darker[3:27:50]   faggotry at this point. ...and where you live, and who's there.[3:27:54]   So I think it makes no sense whatsoever as a[3:27:58]   white citizen of America to try to help black citizens[3:28:02]   anymore. Oh! It doesn't make sense. It's no longer[3:28:06]   rational. And you've been trying to help them a lot up until now. Yeah, he's like, I've been trying to help[3:28:10]   them all the time. And now you've just reached your last drop. Sir,[3:28:14]   can you help me with this rope? Here's a stepstool.[3:28:18]   Wow. That's how I help them.[3:28:22]   I throw the stepstool right at their skull.[3:28:26]   And then I throw the rope at my feet.[3:28:30]   Confuse them first, then stab them. Oh my god.[3:28:34]   Impulse. And so I'm going to[3:28:38]   I'm going to back off from being helpful to black America[3:28:42]   because it doesn't seem like it pays off. Like I've been doing it all[3:28:46]   my life, and the only outcome is I get[3:28:50]   called a racist. That's the only outcome.[3:28:54]   It makes no sense to help black Americans if you're white.[3:28:58]   I really hate this word racist.[3:29:02]   I don't know why that is so tough for you. Like when the DuckTales song came out[3:29:06]   everyone was calling like, racist DuckTales song.[3:29:10]   And I was furious. I'm like, how is it racist?[3:29:14]   I hate fucking niggers. Oh, because I hate fucking niggers?[3:29:18]   I didn't scream and[3:29:22]   cry. Oh, the racist DuckTales song, how dare you? No.[3:29:26]   Yes, that's the racist DuckTales song that I wrote.[3:29:30]   The most racist song. So yes.[3:29:34]   That's the part that this whole thing falls apart.[3:29:38]   You can't get mad when someone calls you racist.[3:29:42]   At this point. After all the things you've done.[3:29:46]   Don't even think it's worth trying.[3:29:50]   Totally not trying.[3:29:54]   Let me guess, this all started during the lockdown.[3:29:58]   Every guy this age, it went[3:30:02]   I don't want these lockdowns. I don't want the vaccine. COVID's fake.[3:30:06]   And then right to blacks engaged should go away.[3:30:10]   And I'll openly say that. And I actually[3:30:14]   am a full Christian all of a sudden.[3:30:18]   I mean, to me, that's more of a transformation than what Robin[3:30:22]   Tran is doing. I'm basically doing the same thing.[3:30:26]   Robin Tran put on glasses and a maroon dress. I'm doing that now.[3:30:30]   It took ten minutes. These guys went through a whole[3:30:34]   I mean, they changed their entire lives.[3:30:38]   To like a historical, crazy[3:30:42]   story that you would read in the school. That's a huge transition.[3:30:46]   Which we're against in the world. Right?[3:30:50]   Transitions are wrong. And I believe that too.[3:30:54]   I'm in under the theory. You'll see Christie Stefano went through a transition too.[3:30:58]   I'm not into any sort of commitment to transition. Except this.[3:31:02]   And these. And maybe some of these.[3:31:06]   And a whole lot of these.[3:31:10]   I put two shake weights under my pillow. I call it an ice.[3:31:14]   So yes, that's a healthy transition.[3:31:18]   Transitioning into the most evil version[3:31:22]   of a human being should not be[3:31:26]   Well, that's considered a transition. Worse than a trans[3:31:30]   transition. It's just gotta be. You want to get a whole[3:31:34]   neighborhood to move away from a black person. That's gotta be worse than a woman or a guy[3:31:38]   putting on a dress for two seconds and molesting your kid.[3:31:42]   There we go. You agree?[3:31:46]   You didn't expect that today, did you?[3:31:50]   Why don't you then kill them, you pussies? Kill them.[3:31:54]   Because that's where they draw the line. These pussies.[3:31:58]   Kill them! That's what I'm rooting for. Every day I just[3:32:02]   pray. I go, just kill them all then. You should guys should all kill each other.[3:32:06]   Then it'll be great. Okay? Because that's[3:32:10]   what they should do. We went to Portillo's[3:32:14]   Portillo's this week. They opened one.[3:32:18]   The only reason it took me so long to leave Chicago because there's a hot dog restaurant called[3:32:22]   Portillo's. A lot of people downplay Portillo's. They're like, oh, no no no.[3:32:26]   Portillo's is like, it's okay, but like the real place[3:32:30]   is Jimmy's. No. You're being like a New Yorker[3:32:34]   now. The good place is actually the shittiest place. Okay.[3:32:38]   Because they hate popular. Not me. I[3:32:42]   figured this out long ago that it's okay to like very popular[3:32:46]   things. It's very fun. Portillo's to me is the best one.[3:32:50]   I love their hot dog. Okay, guys. Come on there[3:32:54]   hot dog. I love their Italian beef sandwich.[3:32:58]   Okay? Do people even know what that is? And I love it[3:33:02]   all. And this was my favorite restaurant. I'm telling you, there's only one thing on the menu I[3:33:06]   won't eat. It's the Garden Dog. But[3:33:10]   they just opened. Basically, I live in the desert. Which don't mistake that for a dragged[3:33:14]   through the garden Chicago dog. No, no, no. This is a garden dog[3:33:18]   where they've made a plant-based version of the hot dog for the[3:33:22]   betas. And that I will not eat. But everything[3:33:26]   else I would eat. And we've been going. We went about four or five[3:33:30]   times before my bread break. And this thing really bloated[3:33:34]   me up. I mean, we went to Portillo's three days in a row. It opened here.[3:33:38]   I mean, the VR and the Portillo's were probably the two[3:33:42]   of the happiest moments of my adult life. No joke.[3:33:46]   It's so important about how happy I was that I'm[3:33:50]   bringing those things up here. Because I'm telling you these things[3:33:54]   people go, okay, you went to Portillo's. Why would you tell that?[3:33:58]   It's a show story. Oh, he put on the VR. Why would you tell[3:34:02]   that to us? Because I haven't been this satisfied[3:34:06]   with a business since Sony and this Portillo's.[3:34:10]   They both knocked it out of the park this week. And it put me[3:34:14]   into a childlike happiness. And you watch Portillo's.[3:34:18]   I mean, the thing ran so beautifully even on opening night.[3:34:22]   This place ran like a well-oiled machine. And then you[3:34:26]   start hating the other restaurants more who can't get it together at month five. They[3:34:30]   can't figure this out. And here's Portillo's. They hand me the bill.[3:34:34]   Reasonable.[3:34:38]   Cheaper than McDonald's. And this is quality stuff.[3:34:42]   Guys, if you ever get a chance, do not go to Portillo's looking for me. If I see[3:34:46]   I'm going to throw a hot dog at you and yell red bar. I know we went to Portillo's so much[3:34:50]   last year that we were going to get caught. If anyone recognizes me, just[3:34:54]   know I will throw a lit hot dog at you and scream[3:34:58]   red bar so loud it'll break your eardrums.[3:35:02]   While laughing and giggling and I might break your phone.[3:35:06]   I might pull my gun on you.[3:35:10]   I need to know this too from all the gun guys. Can I pull a gun on somebody for[3:35:14]   recognizing me and then go walk away?[3:35:18]   Here's another one. Can I pull a gun out[3:35:22]   and insist somebody do something at gunpoint, but for a[3:35:26]   thing they were already going to do.[3:35:30]   DoorDash comes. DoorDash. They've got my delivery. I let them the door. Put the food[3:35:34]   down. Put the food down. Give me the food. Give me the food to go away. Give me the food.[3:35:38]   That's what they were going to do. So is it illegal?[3:35:42]   You're not making them do anything. I'm not making them do anything[3:35:46]   that they weren't planning on doing. I'm just shouting it[3:35:50]   as a demand. And the gun.[3:35:54]   So that's what I need to know. If a listener[3:35:58]   comes up to me, they go, hey Mike. And I go, hey. Can I[3:36:02]   just do that? Can you smile with a gun? Can you go like this? Can you show[3:36:06]   them? Gun. Run.[3:36:10]   Someone says just flash. Don't pull it. Can you flash a gun at somebody?[3:36:14]   Boogie did that at his front door and got arrested. No, Boogie waved at he shot[3:36:18]   a shot in the air. See, everybody gets every story. I get every. Yes, he shot[3:36:22]   a shot. He goes, get away. Oh, wow. I didn't know that. I think[3:36:26]   as long as you kill them, it's fine. That's another thing. Can I take[3:36:30]   two guns and shoot out a listener's eyes just for saying hi?[3:36:34]   So you don't want to get involved in that because we will tape you. We will harass you.[3:36:38]   Okay. Now they're saying I would take Mike throwing a hot tag at[3:36:42]   me yelling red bar and running away over a million fools merch shirts.[3:36:46]   Trust me. You don't want to be involved in that because we'll both be at the police[3:36:50]   station sitting next to each other. Oh boy. And then we'll become friends.[3:36:54]   Actually sounds nice. At the station. And we won't be[3:36:58]   able to get bailed out till Monday and we'll bond. And then I'll go,[3:37:02]   it's great meeting you, man. And then we'll go our separate lives.[3:37:06]   And if you come at me again, I will kill you.[3:37:10]   Get it? Even though we've become friends in the jail.[3:37:14]   So, okay. Do not approach me ever.[3:37:18]   Eminem had a great song about it. Just approach me while I'm going to the bathroom,[3:37:22]   which happens about five times per outing, per location. And then mean, you can like whisper about Mike and make a plan for you to come up.[3:37:28]   If you take a zoomed in photo of us,[3:37:34]   we will press triggers. Instead of press charges,[3:37:38]   press triggers. Pull triggers, they call them.[3:37:42]   Not me. I press it. Especially[3:37:46]   do not come up to me and give me any shit. On D-load[3:37:50]   That's how much progress you could tell I've been[3:37:54]   doing. I am in what's called D-load week of my[3:37:58]   weightlifting program. Yes, we're in week eight.[3:38:02]   And we're doing a D-load to prepare us[3:38:06]   for what's to come next week, which is a[3:38:10]   higher intensity and higher volume[3:38:14]   of exercises called Super Sad.[3:38:18]   And[3:38:22]   so I'm in D-load week right now. It's best not to, it's like a girl[3:38:26]   on her period. And for those of you who don't know D-load week, it's[3:38:30]   you go down about 60, 50[3:38:34]   percent in weight. So if you're bench pressing 335,[3:38:38]   you're going to go down 50 percent this week.[3:38:42]   And basically what you're doing is giving your body some time to repair, relax,[3:38:46]   but while still doing the activity. A lot of[3:38:50]   trainers, such as myself, we like to call this[3:38:54]   technique week because D-load implies[3:38:58]   that you're, you know, stepping down a bit[3:39:02]   with your progress. So a lot of my clients, I go, it's technique week,[3:39:06]   it's just time to focus on our techniques. We're going to lower the volume, we're going to lower the[3:39:10]   weight, and we're just going to work on our technique. D-load could scare people away.[3:39:14]   It's scared me away. I don't want to be in D-load week. None of us do.[3:39:18]   It's a bodybuilder. See, I'm a, it's, I'll tell you[3:39:22]   from a bodybuilder, it's a bodybuilder's worst nightmare[3:39:26]   to go lower in weight, even though it's recommended to do this[3:39:30]   week. It makes you feel pathetic, like you're going back to your[3:39:34]   old self. And with that and the dysphoria, it[3:39:38]   really, this is all week I'm going, so I'm in D-load here.[3:39:42]   Jules will like ask me something. I'll be like, I'm actually in D-load week[3:39:46]   right now. So, you know, nobody bother me on D-load[3:39:50]   week. Anybody else, you know,[3:39:54]   understand or recognize what that is. So I am in D-load[3:39:58]   week and do not test me is what the announcement was[3:40:02]   for my D-load. Next week is super set week. I'll be running all over the[3:40:06]   gym, the public gym, doing what I like to call[3:40:10]   like a, almost like a crazy scavenger hunt flash mob of[3:40:14]   exercises throughout this person's gym. Super sets. And what I[3:40:18]   do is I combine two machines on opposite sides of the room. So I'm running through[3:40:22]   a crowd, pushing people to get to the next machine to get it, that set[3:40:26]   in under 10 seconds. And I've decided to complicate this by doing super[3:40:30]   sets at two different gyms. I'll do like bench press[3:40:34]   at Planet Fitness and then I got to get into my car and within 10 seconds[3:40:38]   get to another gym to do pull ups. So many people[3:40:42]   I'm cut, I'm smashing into others[3:40:46]   I'm firing my gun out the window like this just to make people move while[3:40:50]   I drive. They'll move[3:40:54]   if you start shooting. Do not mess with me in D-load week. Next week[3:40:58]   is super sets week. By the way, everyone's calling me Megamind now because[3:41:02]   of you. No, no, no, no. I asked is she Megamind and you[3:41:06]   said no. The consensus online was no. And I was thinking of somebody else.[3:41:10]   Jules is not here. I'll set the record straight[3:41:14]   right now. Jules is not Megamind. That was debunked.[3:41:18]   Wait. This is all you got to do.[3:41:22]   No loads for Megamind during D-load week. No, no, no.[3:41:26]   She's not Megamind. No, no, no, no, no. That's been[3:41:30]   debunked. This is all you got to say. If somebody has a rumor about you and they asked you about it[3:41:34]   watch this. Ask me any rumor about me right now. Watch. I'll show you how to handle this.[3:41:38]   Hey, Mike, are you wearing a wig? No, actually[3:41:42]   that was debunked this week.[3:41:46]   Any other questions? I mean, what are you[3:41:50]   going to say about that? It was debunked. Do you have any proof it wasn't debunked?[3:41:54]   Nope. I got accused of wearing a wig on Reddit.[3:41:58]   The guy, what did he[3:42:02]   say? He's definitely wearing a wig because the gray streak, if you notice, it does move and his forehead gets[3:42:06]   shorter and higher episode to episode. That[3:42:10]   has been debunked. Sorry.[3:42:14]   It was debunked years ago on the show. And you can do this with any rumor, especially if you[3:42:18]   have a show that's been out for 20 years. Oh yeah. We did like a whole year on that[3:42:22]   and it turns out it was debunked. You could go back into the archives and find it for yourself.[3:42:26]   Happy hunting! Then send him the archives.[3:42:30]   They'll be down there all week. They'll have that guy, that guy that's going to get[3:42:34]   sick of him trying to open up all those lockers for him to listen to those archives.[3:42:38]   Justified. Okay, let's see what we got[3:42:42]   next. This is still light news. Jake Paul loses his boxing match.[3:42:46]   Finally. I hate, I mean, I really, it seems so easy[3:42:50]   to hate Jake Paul, but I really hate him. I mean, he's a monster.[3:42:54]   He's also the strongest guy in the world. I've gone through a lot of[3:42:58]   phases of wanting him to win certain fights, wanting him to lose, but this one I didn't[3:43:02]   want to see him lose. Well, this one, I mean, I really, there's nobody more despicable than Jake Paul.[3:43:06]   It's almost like Beta to be in the, this is why Jake Paul[3:43:10]   is doing well right now because it's almost Beta[3:43:14]   to hate a guy like Jake Paul in this day and age with all the Andrew Tate stuff[3:43:18]   and all this stuff. It's just true. Oh yeah, of course you hate Jake Paul. So[3:43:22]   he actually is very lucky that people don't want to feel like such Beta[3:43:26]   bitches that they just keep their mouth shut. But I'll tell you this, Jake Paul[3:43:30]   is one of the most vile, disgusting,[3:43:34]   sleazy, terrifying,[3:43:38]   I mean, human beings that we've ever seen. I mean, he really[3:43:42]   is just a true lowlife thug.[3:43:46]   And we really wanted him to get creamed. We were going to tune in. Guess what?[3:43:50]   This event, this boxing event is in the British[3:43:54]   UK. No Saudi Arabia.[3:43:58]   Saudi Arabia.[3:44:02]   And here's something else. I don't get involved in[3:44:06]   Saudi Arabian stuff. This happened way too quickly. Every influencer[3:44:10]   is like Saudi Arabia now. And they're like, oh yeah, this prince[3:44:14]   asked me to come down and he's given me all this money and just, he wants me just to drop[3:44:18]   off this package back in the UK. Why are we allowing,[3:44:22]   you should not be able to get paid from anybody from Saudi Arabia[3:44:26]   or Dubai. To me, that's like, if the guy's wearing[3:44:30]   that thing, the schmuckers[3:44:34]   thing with the bandana, he's got the schmuckers[3:44:38]   red and white head[3:44:42]   thing, you know, schmuckers.[3:44:46]   Isn't that what they're wearing? When schmuckers first came out, I assume they had[3:44:50]   real cloth over and a thing and now they just, they're[3:44:54]   wearing schmuckers cloths that they used to actually[3:44:58]   wrap jam in a little rubber band on. And now they've actually said that's[3:45:02]   too costly. So they just make a tin can with the print of the schmuckers cloth[3:45:06]   on it. And then the Arab guys, I guess got access to all that old[3:45:10]   stock of the cloth and they wear that on their head. If you're doing[3:45:14]   business with one of those people, the government, please look into them. I guarantee[3:45:18]   the business is not legit.[3:45:22]   Osama bin Laden. It's like, Jesus. So[3:45:26]   all of a sudden we're like working with Osama's every day and every influencer is like in Dubai.[3:45:30]   You couldn't pay me enough to go to Dubai.[3:45:34]   Goodbye. Time for Dubai. Time to die. I mean, there's a reason all[3:45:38]   these things kind of go together there. Dubai is like,[3:45:42]   you're lucky you come home and you haven't been replaced with like a clone.[3:45:46]   I think everybody who's come back from Dubai is like a clone that they've made.[3:45:50]   And the real you is somewhere deep down covered in dirt naked[3:45:54]   screaming as they rip your toenails off you for info.[3:45:58]   So I can't believe Jake's in Dubai. I find this to be[3:46:02]   crazy. And they wanted us to watch the fight at like, you know, 12 in the[3:46:06]   afternoon. I said, no, no, no fights are for the night.[3:46:10]   So we refused to buy it. And this was crazy. Keemstar[3:46:14]   did not like this. This was $11 to subscribe to the[3:46:18]   ESPN Pro and then another $50[3:46:22]   to buy the fight through the ESPN app[3:46:26]   that you had to pay to sign up for. That's too much.[3:46:30]   Just show it. But he lost. He got beat up. And we[3:46:34]   actually have a lot of people saw the fight. They saw he got beat up. We knew he was[3:46:38]   going to go the humble route. I always knew this, you know, his first loss.[3:46:42]   He's going to be the good boy. I just have mad respect.[3:46:46]   You know, he put a lot of work and you can't win them. I knew[3:46:50]   he was going to do that bullshit, you know, and that's never[3:46:54]   true. Nobody is ever humble, especially now, Jake[3:46:58]   Paul. So we have this great little video of him reading a story[3:47:02]   he wrote to explain his situation. This was was this just on impulsive[3:47:06]   or what? It was on Jake's podcast, actually, which I've never watched before this.[3:47:10]   And this stars Logan Paul at 310. Just a bigger part[3:47:14]   of my story now and see who[3:47:18]   I really am. And that's kind of what I touch on here.[3:47:22]   This is exactly where I wanted it. Okay, so here he is. And Jake Paul, this is[3:47:26]   his statement about losing the fight.[3:47:30]   And it's a little creepy and he's going to read it[3:47:34]   off his phone. He's prepared a statement. He's going to read. Oh, let's take this drink[3:47:38]   to Israel, right? Cheers to Israel. Thank[3:47:42]   you. Oh,[3:47:46]   I'm raising money for cancer, too, but the money goes through me.[3:47:50]   I've raised 1.3 million dollars[3:47:54]   in donations for this cancer fund that I started.[3:47:58]   And then I'm going to try to go out and get cancer and take keep all the money.[3:48:02]   Okay, here is[3:48:06]   better. Jake Paul holds back tears[3:48:10]   on show after loss. Okay, let's hear his little story. You're going to like this.[3:48:14]   See who I really am. And that's kind of what I touch[3:48:18]   on here. So this is the taste of defeat.[3:48:22]   So many thoughts and emotions pour through me.[3:48:26]   This is the taste of defeat. The taste of defeat. The taste[3:48:30]   of defeat is when you lose. Have you ever seen someone do that?[3:48:34]   Where they triple you. God, I can't do it.[3:48:38]   That's what I call a Tripoli. Where you have a presentation, a written[3:48:42]   presentation, and you hit us three[3:48:46]   times with the title. The longest tree.[3:48:50]   Here's my new story. The longest tree. The longest[3:48:54]   tree. The longest tree stood in the deepest, darkest woods.[3:48:58]   This isn't that story about that long tree, is it?[3:49:02]   And look at Logan.[3:49:06]   So Jake's about to read. Here's Jake. Brother Jake, by the way. Logan looking like[3:49:10]   Lex. And then Logan. Yeah. This is deep, bro.[3:49:14]   Bro, we can't always win. And that's the good[3:49:18]   part about us. No, I thought the winning was the good part.[3:49:22]   Bro, losing, actually, you're more of a winner.[3:49:26]   And more of a boxer. There's actually a part here[3:49:30]   where Logan goes, dude, the second they[3:49:34]   announce that Tommy Fury won, I was like, I'm going to fight[3:49:38]   Tommy Fury and avenge you, bro. And I think I should. And Jake[3:49:42]   goes, you? And he goes, yeah.[3:49:46]   Oh, I thought that was my thing. Okay, but they have already[3:49:50]   a scheduled rematch contractual. This is the weirdest[3:49:54]   brotherhood I've ever seen, by the way. The way that they go about all these things[3:49:58]   is so strange. Okay, watch this. This is the taste of defeat.[3:50:02]   So many thoughts and emotions pour through me as I lie here in complete silence[3:50:06]   hours after losing in one of the biggest moments of my life.[3:50:10]   But is it really a loss? Only time can tell. But boy,[3:50:14]   the taste of defeat already is one of the hardest things that I've ever had to deal with.[3:50:18]   It's confusing, lonely, and embarrassing. I didn't do my best.[3:50:22]   Wait, wait, wait. That's Jordan Peterson's ebook.[3:50:26]   I'm actually working on an ebook[3:50:30]   right now for this publisher[3:50:34]   who died. Guess the show.[3:50:38]   I'm working on an ebook. My publisher died.[3:50:42]   I didn't really care as much about his death as I did about the future of my[3:50:46]   ebook. What show am I referencing that I love?[3:50:50]   Okay, here's Jake. Brother Jake.[3:50:54]   I had to deal with. It's confusing, lonely, and embarrassing. I didn't do my best.[3:50:58]   I know I'm capable of more. And I think that's the most frustrating part. Knowing that[3:51:02]   I wasn't at my best going into this fight with all the things that I had to deal with.[3:51:06]   Maybe I was sick going into the fight and couldn't[3:51:10]   do anything about it and I was getting a cold and had three coughs.[3:51:14]   Oh, so it's more of an excuse poem about the loss?[3:51:18]   Was it a loss? Time will tell.[3:51:22]   It's like, no, it was a loss. Time told.[3:51:26]   That I wasn't at my best going into this fight with all the things that I had to deal with.[3:51:30]   I guess this is a reality check that I'm not some superhuman that can persevere[3:51:34]   and use my mental fortitude to fix everything.[3:51:38]   Before this, he thought he was a superhuman. Which[3:51:42]   so did I. Because he was. Dealing with[3:51:46]   illnesses, elbow injuries, traveling across the world, my legs feeling weak on the day of the fight.[3:51:50]   In fact, my mental fortitude has now bit me in the[3:51:54]   ass. I'm so hell bent on moving forward with everything that I do[3:51:58]   even if sometimes it's not good for me. I'm learning more from this loss than all of my wins[3:52:02]   combined. And maybe that's where the silver lining lies. I know the universe[3:52:06]   has a plan for me and a very important one at that. I know the universe[3:52:10]   has a plan for me and a very important one at that.[3:52:14]   So when the matrix has a plan for you[3:52:18]   that's bad, but when the universe has a plan. Why aren't you guys[3:52:22]   anti-universe if they're controlling you? Sheep. Sheep[3:52:26]   to the universe. You know, how do you know this[3:52:30]   universe you're in isn't a woke PC live[3:52:34]   universe. There are other universes, but you follow the rules of this one.[3:52:38]   I really despise people who say stuff like this. I mean, you[3:52:42]   really gotta be a psychotic monster to think the universe has a special[3:52:46]   plan for you. You know, and you just keep hearing this stuff every day.[3:52:50]   Every fucking YouTuber. Every comedian. You know, the universe[3:52:54]   just wants me to be the biggest star in the world, so.[3:52:58]   It's like, no, no way.[3:53:02]   And it's only a del- when you hear people say this[3:53:06]   it's a great delusion. It's actually something you should go, whoa![3:53:10]   The universe has a plan for you? What about me?[3:53:14]   No, just you, huh? Okay. Sometimes it's not good for me.[3:53:18]   I'm learning more from this loss than all of my wins combined, and maybe that's where the[3:53:22]   silver lining lies. I know the universe has a plan for me, and a very important one[3:53:26]   at that. And so I'm hoping to find peace in knowing that this is for the greater good[3:53:30]   of my own life. I'm a bit lost[3:53:34]   right now with so many thoughts crossing my mind. Will this loss truly motivate me to train[3:53:38]   even harder and come back with a vengeance? I feel like I don't want to go in public.[3:53:42]   How will I continue to make the amount of money that I so desire for myself?[3:53:46]   How do I continue to make the money that I so[3:53:50]   desire for myself? You know, you used to[3:53:54]   read a poem like this that you wrote, and you would be beaten to[3:53:58]   death by everybody. And now they're just like, he's pretty immature.[3:54:02]   No, he's gay! How dearly desire[3:54:06]   How will I make the money I so desire for myself?[3:54:10]   What? Listen to this.[3:54:14]   I don't want to go in public. How will I continue to make the amount of money[3:54:18]   that I so desire for myself? That you desire?[3:54:22]   How will I continue to make... And that's not like a nice thing to say, by the way.[3:54:26]   Ding dong! Dude, that's very deep. Yeah, how will you[3:54:30]   get the money that you desire, baby?[3:54:34]   Logan, over there. Yeah, for sure. Facts, facts. The money you desire.[3:54:38]   No. You've got enough money[3:54:42]   and you've been desired. You've desired enough. How about that?[3:54:46]   You're fully desired. Your desires have been met. Yes, desires[3:54:50]   met. This is over desiring.[3:54:54]   And this was supposed to be an apology loss statement.[3:54:58]   Not, how? And why is he writing like[3:55:02]   this? Why is he writing as if he's doing like a prayer at a bar mitzvah?[3:55:06]   Listen to this. I don't want to go in public. How will I continue to make the[3:55:10]   amount of money that I so desire for myself? How does this affect the next couple of months in my[3:55:14]   life? I feel so alone even though my family, friends, and supporters are[3:55:18]   showering me with love and praise and telling me how... And then the next day you'll make fun of him. You'll be like,[3:55:22]   You alone, loser! Haha! And he'll be like, I'm winning every time![3:55:26]   Well, what about the time you said you've never felt so alone?[3:55:30]   That's bad. You're not supposed to... I've never[3:55:34]   uttered those words that I've been in very hellish situations. I've never uttered[3:55:38]   I've never felt so alone. That's really bad[3:55:42]   to feel so alone with this many people?[3:55:46]   So alone even though my family, friends, and supporters are showering me with love[3:55:50]   and praise and telling me how good I did. It doesn't seem to help much.[3:55:54]   I know this was a great event and that there's so many positives that happened tonight[3:55:58]   but it doesn't seem to make me feel any better. No positives. One side of me feels like this is going to[3:56:02]   turn me into an absolute savage that goes even harder in the gym and takes the sport even more[3:56:06]   seriously than I already did. I didn't think that was possible but maybe it is.[3:56:10]   The other part of me just doesn't know. Look at Logan.[3:56:14]   Bro.[3:56:18]   Dearly be Brovid. We are gathered here today to think deep.[3:56:22]   You think this is school? Is this[3:56:26]   mavericky? What are you so worried about? It's fine.[3:56:30]   You guys are going to get the money. I promise. I know. You have the money.[3:56:34]   Why don't you spend it first and then get more money for the desire?[3:56:38]   What's next? It doesn't know what it wants and is second guessing the plan[3:56:42]   I have for myself. I guess this wouldn't be the first time all of my[3:56:46]   plans got derailed. LOL. I guess[3:56:50]   this is why they call it the loneliest sport in the world. And there's a drawing attached to[3:56:54]   this too. He did a crayon drawing for this too. And his mom[3:56:58]   stapled this together on four sheets of paper and pinned it to the fridge.[3:57:02]   Did you hear Jake's losing assignments?[3:57:06]   Did you see Jake's drawing? Isn't that a nice drawing?[3:57:14]   I know the universe is putting me through this test alone so I can find[3:57:18]   my inner love and strength deep down. So you can find your inner love?[3:57:22]   I think that's what he said. NLO's back, baby. I knew it.[3:57:26]   He wants to find NLO. Nobody likes onions.[3:57:30]   He threw this test alone so I could find my inner love.[3:57:34]   He mumbles. But there it was. Patrick is[3:57:38]   back, guys. He is on fire. Do we have[3:57:42]   a clip of Melton? You know, Melton's been broadcasting eight days in a row[3:57:46]   now. I couldn't take my eyes off him. Every day he's live.[3:57:50]   I'm talking about some character Megamind.[3:57:54]   I am so proud of him and I just wanted[3:57:58]   everybody to... Patrick, Melton, he's our original fool.[3:58:02]   Today he was just on Sit Down Zumock,[3:58:06]   one of the nation's biggest casts. I checked in.[3:58:10]   You're a huge fan of this Zumock show. You know, Jules donates[3:58:14]   a lot of money. I just had a message the other day from a guy who goes,[3:58:18]   dude, Jules is in the chat donating $400 to Chad Zumock.[3:58:22]   And I go, oh man, you know, I'll have a talk with her. And he's like, yeah, well[3:58:26]   she's probably just trying to like impress the chat. And I go, you think[3:58:30]   that's Jules? And then he sent[3:58:34]   me a stick drawing of me as a logo.[3:58:38]   This is what I'm dealing with all day. It really is.[3:58:42]   I might start doing this show out of a[3:58:46]   out of a bus to really make it re-TD.[3:58:50]   Okay, let me show you this. This is Patrick Melton. He is back and[3:58:54]   you know, I was watching a lot of the new[3:58:58]   Melton. He's doing great, but it is the same old[3:59:02]   grievances. You know, I'll pick out the same stuff.[3:59:06]   You know, the biggest stuff for Melton watch.[3:59:10]   And it just, it's so weird. It's like you watch him now and you're almost[3:59:14]   just proud to see your guy[3:59:18]   come back at it and[3:59:22]   you know, do[3:59:26]   ultimately what you did to him.[3:59:30]   I don't know what kind of psychology this is.[3:59:34]   We did ask a few doctors and they said, you know, it's like[3:59:38]   when you grow up with an abusive father, you know, a drunk abusive father[3:59:42]   is giving you uppercuts. He's knocking you out all the time. Oh, he's also been trading boxing.[3:59:46]   Obviously you can see them. So it's like when you have an abusive father, the kid[3:59:50]   grows up. He starts being abusive. We've all seen Cal and his son[3:59:54]   on Euphoria. So yeah, an[3:59:58]   abusive dad can lead to an abusive child. And what we did to Melton[4:00:02]   led Melton to do what we do. And he's doing it[4:00:06]   to others. And[4:00:10]   I, you know, while I'm very happy for him,[4:00:14]   I'm also very freaked out at what he's doing because[4:00:18]   why would you do all the stuff that we did to you to somebody?[4:00:22]   It's really crazy. And I will take this stuff[4:00:26]   further. It's almost as if he's kind of picked up[4:00:30]   on a few of my[4:00:34]   almost as if he was watching every episode of when we picked on him[4:00:38]   and then just started watching the show too much and started...[4:00:42]   But that's nice. That's nice. And Josh Denny has done[4:00:46]   that. And a lot of our fools, you know, what you got to understand about this program is[4:00:50]   most of our fools, it's very hard for them not to watch every minute of it.[4:00:54]   And especially in our earlier days, we did a lot[4:00:58]   of minutes. So if we're doing eight hours on Melton and he's[4:01:02]   trying to watch all of it, right, to see what was said about him,[4:01:06]   all of a sudden you're just watching eight hours of Redbar and you kind of[4:01:10]   are ahead now. I mean,[4:01:14]   regardless of if you like the show or not, you're watching Redbar all the time.[4:01:22]   And I think it has some psychological effects on some of these guys.[4:01:26]   Because I can't believe...[4:01:30]   Well, let's just take a look. This is Patrick Melton. He's back.[4:01:34]   And I've never seen numbers this high. Yesterday, he's[4:01:38]   exploding. He went up to seven and I'm not being sarcastic, 71 live[4:01:42]   viewers. Now, this was a guy for four or five[4:01:46]   years was stuck at eight. This was one of those guys[4:01:50]   like Josh Denny where there were sometimes two and it was[4:01:54]   me and another guy from here were the guys.[4:01:58]   And that would be the live number. We got up to 71[4:02:02]   now. Which means[4:02:06]   his shows are getting more watchable[4:02:10]   by us. Now 71[4:02:14]   of us are watching his show. It's that much[4:02:18]   better. So it went from, you know, five months ago[4:02:22]   only two of us could actually watch Melton's show. Me and one of you.[4:02:26]   And it was so horrible that only two of us did it. Now[4:02:30]   it's 71 people's worth[4:02:34]   better. Okay? It went from two to 71.[4:02:38]   That's growth. You know, my weight didn't go[4:02:42]   up 12 pounds. It took four months to go up 12 pounds.[4:02:46]   You know, four viewers to 71. That's growth. So we've got[4:02:50]   Melton here and he actually does mention us[4:02:54]   in this clip. Right? This is queued up.[4:02:58]   21230. This has been such a treat. Oh my god.[4:03:02]   This has been such a treat every night he's on. My, you know, more than[4:03:06]   I get digital shorts in here. This is my YouTube usually.[4:03:10]   Patrick Melton live. Patrick Melton upcoming.[4:03:14]   Patrick Melton premiere. And then the next three rows are his shows[4:03:18]   from the day before. And then clips. So it's all Melton.[4:03:22]   And we're going to go to 21230.[4:03:26]   That's 21135. Let's go to 21230.[4:03:30]   I hope that's right.[4:03:34]   21230. Oh, perfect. And let's see what he says.[4:03:38]   You guys ready? We have not. I mean, this is big because[4:03:42]   he hadn't done anything good enough to be featured on the show in how many years?[4:03:46]   That's how upset it got with Melton.[4:03:50]   You know, this was a fool. By the way, this was a fool that we would watch.[4:03:54]   Did you notice? Well, it wasn't good enough. There was a lot of[4:03:58]   you know, and with Melton with his more of his recent stuff[4:04:02]   what I've noticed with him is that it's just all[4:04:06]   make believe. It's just, you're just saying nonsense and you can't[4:04:10]   really bust him on anything. You can't really believe anything he[4:04:14]   says on in either way. So like when he got[4:04:18]   married, it's like, well, did he get married? I'm not going to go do a whole segment[4:04:22]   on a guy that maybe is just doing a joke about[4:04:26]   that he got married. So I couldn't even get excited because it was so[4:04:30]   nonsensical and it was so cumbersome to[4:04:34]   watch these episodes. But you got to believe us before[4:04:38]   he went stale, we would do five shows a week[4:04:42]   and it would just be like, okay, welcome to Red Bar. Let's turn on Melton. And that would be[4:04:46]   the entire seven hour show. And then we'd see you tomorrow with another eight hours[4:04:50]   of Melton and it became, I think it was two years of our show, we only just[4:04:54]   watched Melton. It was huge around here. It was like that.[4:04:58]   And then you would try to talk about something else and everyone would just be like, Melton, Melton, Melton.[4:05:02]   And by the way, everybody was into it. I can't even really remember what[4:05:06]   was so great about him back then. Exactly.[4:05:10]   And that's why it's just, we grew out of it. We did it all. We'd been there done that.[4:05:14]   And that's why we can't even remember what was so good about it.[4:05:18]   But obviously it was so good because we were captivated for over a year.[4:05:22]   Every day we could not get enough. Remember, every screenshot,[4:05:26]   I mean, everything in the bring back room, even we would, just[4:05:30]   a Photoshop of him that was like out to lunch starring[4:05:34]   anything. I mean, you could literally just take like a picture of his finger,[4:05:38]   put it on a black background. We got a hundred likes.[4:05:42]   We loved it. It's definitely something to do with like his[4:05:46]   looks and the look on his face is so[4:05:50]   like, like even this week we watch a ton of Melton[4:05:54]   and just staring at him is almost like going into another realm.[4:05:58]   Here's the thing, and this is why we have only picked out one part. And it's not just ugly, it's like[4:06:02]   transcends ugliness. But it's been done and we'll[4:06:06]   look at the screen and we'll go, oh my God. And you can't say that forever. And it's like, we literally,[4:06:10]   I can't describe this enough, we made fun of him[4:06:14]   in every way. There's no more other ways to make fun[4:06:18]   of him. We did it all. So now those are just[4:06:22]   old jokes. So when we're watching the new Melton, the reason we don't have[4:06:26]   a cover him is because we watch it. It's like, yeah, we did that one seven times already.[4:06:30]   Yeah, we covered that behavior.[4:06:34]   And he was doing adventures overseas.[4:06:38]   It was a fall. You know, we were watching somebody fall, somebody who had a show[4:06:42]   that was going, a Shoshana. He had a show[4:06:46]   that was going, then it was a fall. And then once it plateaued into Nobody Watches[4:06:50]   Anymore, it just became like, you know, you just can't, it's like how we can't watch[4:06:54]   Denny's podcast. It's just, yep, we've established it's[4:06:58]   terrible. However, Melton is back. Ladies[4:07:02]   and gentlemen, let's watch this clip. Let's see what he's like.[4:07:06]   This is our man. And it almost feels like this is family now.[4:07:10]   Yes. Part of our family. Like this isn't a fool to us anymore.[4:07:14]   This is like somebody we enjoy.[4:07:18]   We love him now.[4:07:22]   And anything he needs, I will help him with.[4:07:26]   Melton, this was all a test and you passed and now the[4:07:30]   money is yours. He did pass the test. No, he didn't.[4:07:34]   That was all a joke. But wouldn't that be funny? Okay, here it is. But now I look at him with like[4:07:38]   love now almost. Yes, it's very weird how that happens[4:07:42]   with an old fool. Alright, let's watch what he says.[4:07:46]   This is the biggest argument and takeaway from the clip, too, by the way. He's like,[4:07:50]   he knew who we were. He knows Steel Tho. He's gonna pretend he doesn't[4:07:54]   know Steel Tho. He knows Steel Tho. No one knows, what are you talking[4:07:58]   about? What are you talking[4:08:02]   about? Aaron could sell ads.[4:08:06]   He had the highest rated show. He's reading the chat. In his market by far.[4:08:10]   Okay, well, two people in our chat lying.[4:08:14]   Here's the chat. Because this guy says he couldn't. They're reading the chat.[4:08:18]   But okay, either way, let's again say[4:08:22]   guys, I've known about Steel Tho for ten years[4:08:26]   and... 212.30, however, this was queued up to[4:08:30]   211.30 when I got the tape. Could it be 211.30 and you wrote down[4:08:34]   212.30? Maybe. Try it. Okay. 211.30 because[4:08:38]   it landed here. When I opened this page, it landed at 211.30.[4:08:42]   And then the note says 212.30. So maybe this is it?[4:08:46]   That April is to be the mascot?[4:08:50]   He's pretending he doesn't know? Okay, Patrick.[4:08:54]   Okay, everybody knows Steel Tho.[4:08:58]   You notice, Cory, I didn't say, I don't know anything about nobody likes onions. I know[4:09:02]   a little bit about Patrick Melton. I mean, in fairness, it's from Red Bar, so I don't know how accurate[4:09:06]   it is, but I know it from you. Ooh, so he's harassing somebody now.[4:09:10]   I don't know who.[4:09:14]   But, no, I'm kidding. I know who. He's harassing someone right now[4:09:18]   and he's playing a clip from their show and they go, you know what? I know a little bit[4:09:22]   about Melton from Red Bar. And Melton's watching the[4:09:26]   show. He's like, check this out. And then they say Red Bar and he goes...[4:09:30]   So watch this. Yeah, now we remember what we're watching.[4:09:34]   So he's laughing. Let's zoom in on his face and see what happens when[4:09:38]   Red Bar is mentioned to him. Okay,[4:09:42]   Patrick. Okay, everybody knows Steel Tho.[4:09:46]   You notice, Cory, I didn't say, I don't know anything about nobody likes onions.[4:09:50]   I know a little bit about Patrick Melton. I mean, in fairness, it's from Red Bar, so[4:09:54]   I don't know how accurate it is, but I know it from you. I know it from Mike.[4:09:58]   Hold the face.[4:10:02]   Continue to think. Now, will he say anything about Red Bar after the pause? Let's find out.[4:10:06]   Probably. He's just waiting. Let's find out. I know of nobody likes onions. I'm not going to sit here[4:10:10]   and bring up a clip of a guy. So, again, he knows all these things[4:10:14]   about me from Cory Adams who spent one night[4:10:18]   together with me. And? A lot of personality can be[4:10:22]   gleamed. Wait, what about the Red Bar part? He knows about you[4:10:26]   from Cory Adams and Red Bar.[4:10:30]   But watch how this happens again. I'm Red Bar, so I don't know how[4:10:34]   accurate it is, but I know it from you. I know it from Mike. I know[4:10:38]   of nobody likes onions. I'm not going to sit here and bring up a clip of a guy. So, again,[4:10:42]   he knows all these things about me from[4:10:46]   Cory Adams who spent one night together with me. And?[4:10:50]   A lot of personality can be gleamed in a short, nothing about me.[4:10:54]   I don't know anything about him. Never even looked into it. You know, this guy, I don't know who this broadcaster is.[4:10:58]   He's been very strong. Very professional.[4:11:02]   I like that guy. Fame.[4:11:06]   I like him. Tell him.[4:11:10]   Dude, Mike has a lot of respect for you, actually. Spread it![4:11:14]   Spread confusion. No, there's no confusion.[4:11:18]   I like this guy.[4:11:22]   Steeltoe. I've always liked them.[4:11:26]   I was kidding. Before, during a test, I was trying to play on him.[4:11:30]   And he passed. He's actually a really honorable guy.[4:11:34]   So that's what Melton is doing now. And we thought that was funny. We happened to tune in.[4:11:38]   Now, he's appearing on this guy, Chad Zumach, another[4:11:42]   guy that Jules and I watch tremendously.[4:11:46]   We're fans. I've donated.[4:11:50]   And Jules donates to this guy. Do we have a clip[4:11:54]   from that? Or are we just going to turn it on and see what happens? It says video unavailable.[4:11:58]   So there's nothing there. Oh, what? They deleted it? It was live at that link earlier.[4:12:02]   Well, there is. I was dying to see Melton's. I hope they put that back up.[4:12:06]   I know. Maybe there's a clip. Maybe it just went off. Let's see what happens at[4:12:10]   Sit Down, Zumach's channel. One of my favorite shows. Sure.[4:12:14]   So, there's Patrick Melton. He is back. No, everyone tells Sit Down.[4:12:18]   Oh, what does that mean? Who's Sit Down? What does that mean?[4:12:22]   I don't even know what you're saying. Everybody tells Sit Down to re-upload the episode.[4:12:26]   Because the show is called Sit Down, Zumach, and he took it down after the live was[4:12:30]   over. But I want to see the replay, obviously. I see. I didn't know the show was called Sit Down.[4:12:34]   Sit Down, Zumach. Sit Down, Zumach.[4:12:38]   And again, another honorable guy. I think all these guys are good.[4:12:42]   Yeah. What do you mean, yeah? Yeah.[4:12:46]   I like them.[4:12:50]   Don't go anywhere near them, though. Okay, we did VR.[4:12:54]   Did I tell you about it? No, I'm just kidding.[4:12:58]   We've got another clip here that's very, very, very funny.[4:13:02]   I haven't actually seen this. Maybe this is just a newspaper article.[4:13:06]   Oh, there he is. Love this piece of light news here.[4:13:10]   Two women. Two more women accused documentary[4:13:14]   filmmaker Andrew Callahan of rape[4:13:18]   and sexual assault. I mean, this is in. Remember[4:13:22]   Andrew Callahan? He went down. You know, this is like with Chris D'Elia. It's like[4:13:26]   these guys want to live by their first accuser. Uh-uh.[4:13:30]   So what happens is, like, Chris gets accused, they read an article, and then Chris finds a way[4:13:34]   to, like, make it bullshit. And then everybody just thinks, oh, it was[4:13:38]   just that one stupid thing where the girl was probably... But no, it's like hundreds[4:13:42]   and hundreds of girls. People usually give up on these stories[4:13:46]   once they've gotten their fill of thrill from them. So here[4:13:50]   is Andrew Callahan. Remember, he was disgraced. This is the guy from[4:13:54]   that Vice documentary. He was in, or that HBO[4:13:58]   documentary. He was in, he did that stupid show. What was it[4:14:02]   called? All Gas, No Rakes, Channel 10.[4:14:06]   But here he is. Two women accused documentary filmmaker[4:14:10]   of Andrew Callahan of rape and sexual assault. The claims follow several other[4:14:14]   allegations. See, this is the part where, again, people give up on. So I'm here[4:14:18]   to let you know, this Andrew Callahan, there's more. They keep[4:14:22]   coming out. And this one says rape. The other ones were sex pests, right?[4:14:26]   Yeah. This is rape. So where... Oh, there he is![4:14:30]   Mega body.[4:14:34]   I mean, and he is big, too. I mean, he is, like, 6'5".[4:14:38]   If he pressed you against your car, you're not going anywhere, ladies.[4:14:42]   And that's what he would do. Let's see what they say. I haven't read this one yet. Is it juicy?[4:14:46]   Two women who spoke to the stranger, which is the name[4:14:50]   of this article here. They accused documentary[4:14:54]   filmmaker Andrew Callahan of raping and sexually assaulting them in 2017[4:14:58]   when they all attended Loyola University in[4:15:02]   New Orleans. One woman, who we'll call Mary,[4:15:06]   claimed he raped her in his off-campus housing.[4:15:10]   This is like the story of Candyman. Housing? Rape?[4:15:14]   I don't know if there was much rape. Candyman was a better guy, apparently.[4:15:18]   He didn't rape anybody. And he saw plenty[4:15:22]   of people's boobs through the mirror. He never[4:15:26]   got too excited. Candyman was a gentleman. He kept his whole trench coat on even inside.[4:15:30]   That's how much Candyman didn't want to,[4:15:34]   and he wouldn't even look at them until they were dressed.[4:15:38]   So Candyman a better guy. Okay, one woman who we'll call Mary[4:15:42]   claimed he raped her in his off-campus housing. Put on some scary music here.[4:15:46]   Then, the following morning, he mocked how[4:15:50]   she repeatedly said no during the encounter.[4:15:54]   A different woman, who we'll call Emma Chamberlain, said he followed[4:15:58]   her back to her dorm, where he grabbed her and[4:16:02]   started having sex, despite her saying no,[4:16:06]   and beginning to cry. The two women agreed[4:16:10]   to speak only on the condition of anonymity, out of[4:16:14]   concerns that they could face personal and professional.[4:16:18]   These are way crazier than the first ones. Yes! The new allegations come after the[4:16:22]   Strangler reported on multiple women, accusing Callahan,[4:16:26]   who was raised in Seattle, by the way, so Seattle's cancelled, too.[4:16:30]   Let's see, the stranger asked Callahan[4:16:34]   and his legal representative[4:16:38]   to answer specific questions about each alleged incident, as well as basic[4:16:42]   questions about this story, such as where was Callahan living[4:16:46]   when he attended college in New Orleans. And Mr. Callahan,[4:16:50]   and did Mr. Callahan ever give drinks to women? He met[4:16:54]   at the boot, which was a bar. His legal representatives responded[4:16:58]   with this. The allegations irresponsibly[4:17:02]   reported by the stranger from two anonymous sources[4:17:06]   are patently false, and simply did not happen.[4:17:10]   It is incomprehensible. Who am I kidding?[4:17:14]   It's Callahan. We did it, and I helped him! I'm a lawyer![4:17:18]   And then they beat the living shit out of the reporters and ate[4:17:22]   from their breasts. I don't want to read all that. He's saying no?[4:17:26]   I think that's the idea. Andrew has taken accountability for his role[4:17:30]   in other situations, and will be the first to admit its shortcomings. However, these accusations[4:17:34]   go farther, and are completely without merit.[4:17:38]   Which is what you have to say when you're accused of rape.[4:17:42]   Have you ever seen a guy go, yes, he did rape them,[4:17:46]   but he is taking his time, leave them alone.[4:17:50]   The lawyers will always say no when it comes to rape, it's just[4:17:54]   what you do, okay? Stupid. Imagine saying yes[4:17:58]   to the reporter. Hey, did your client rape anybody?[4:18:02]   Yeah, yay. He was bad.[4:18:06]   Barry, I'm the lawyer, though. We're trying to fix this.[4:18:10]   No, they're going to say no. That's how interviews go with strangers.[4:18:14]   Okay? About if you've raped somebody, you're going to say no.[4:18:18]   Somebody asked me or Jules asked me if I've ever raped anyone.[4:18:22]   Have you ever raped anyone? A few.[4:18:26]   You'll never catch me. That's an honest person.[4:18:30]   A demon in Mike's cup. What is this nonsense about? Somebody found a demon in my cup?[4:18:34]   You can put the scary music back on, I guess, for this.[4:18:38]   Okay, so the other day I was wearing this shirt here, and I have been[4:18:42]   Okay, I've got to close all these. Oh, here's Chris.[4:18:46]   So here it is, and I was wearing this shirt. Here's my glass here.[4:18:50]   I'm a freaky cop, and they said, they zoomed in, and they saw this face.[4:18:58]   So, very, very scary.[4:19:02]   We believe it. Thank you. And that guy's not kidding.[4:19:06]   He saw it. Okay, here's another one.[4:19:10]   Geno's guest did a crime. What's this about?[4:19:14]   Oh, I was kind of looking at that thing before. Basically just a guy[4:19:18]   who was on In Hot Water is wanted for shooting someone on the subway,[4:19:22]   I guess, is basically the gist. So Geno from In Hot Water[4:19:26]   I got to sign in to continue reading. He had a guest on, and then[4:19:30]   the guest was wanted in a shooting. I think he's still wanted.[4:19:34]   He is wanted in a shooting in a New York subway, and that was Geno's buddy.[4:19:38]   Just the day before. Interesting. So that's what you might be subjected to when[4:19:42]   visiting Compound Media. Here was another one from the last show.[4:19:46]   We saw Hila Klein doing a completely ridiculous[4:19:50]   workout move, and I said this would be perfect for[4:19:54]   a custom desk for myself. We got it here.[4:19:58]   They whipped up a mock-up here in C-Cab,[4:20:02]   and you can see how nice this is. Yes, this does in fact[4:20:06]   oh, here, I can even look at that. That does in fact[4:20:10]   work as my desk. Look at that. You can look around, too.[4:20:14]   There Hila is as my desk. So you can see, here's me.[4:20:18]   And then, yeah, yeah. Come down here.[4:20:22]   Look, Hila's chest. It's so fucking flat it works perfect to hold all my drinks.[4:20:26]   And my iPad is right on her puddusi.[4:20:30]   My puffer's going right inside. My mouse is laying on her leg[4:20:34]   because she's so flat, and of course we've taken away the desk, and there's just Hila with her[4:20:38]   weights. Pretty, pretty good. Looks like it could[4:20:42]   work. Let's really make that happen. Bring her to me.[4:20:46]   A clone, a clone, a clone. Can somebody make me a, uh,[4:20:50]   this is my biggest gift. You guys all put your money together and make[4:20:54]   a full sex robot, like the best money-to-buy sex robot[4:20:58]   of a perfect identical Hila Klein.[4:21:02]   Are you allowed to do that?[4:21:06]   Are you allowed to make a full sex robot?[4:21:10]   Full everything. I mean, it looks, you put them side by side, you can't tell who's who.[4:21:14]   And then I have it on the show, and I just rip its clothes off. It's got the same[4:21:18]   exact boobs. Rip its pants down. Shoot arrows[4:21:22]   into it. Kanye did it to Taylor. Kanye did do that to Taylor in the[4:21:26]   famous video. If Kanye could make a Taylor West[4:21:30]   Ooh.[4:21:34]   Fly away. Fly away, Kanye. We don't need that negativity.[4:21:38]   If Kanye West could make a Taylor Swift[4:21:42]   perfect life-size replica, by the way, I'd pay big money for that[4:21:46]   naked Taylor Swift replica from famous. Do we have a picture of that to show[4:21:50]   people, to remind them? It's an exact replica of Taylor Swift, fully naked.[4:21:54]   And he's like, yeah, do you mind if I do this? And she's like,[4:21:58]   uh, this is terrifying. And it was actually[4:22:02]   like, I mean, it looked like it was her sleeping naked. Remember when he did this[4:22:06]   video of like Trump naked? I can't wait to see it again[4:22:10]   to see if it really looks like them. But where are those dolls now and can[4:22:14]   they be purchased or does Kanye have all the dolls? I don't think[4:22:18]   Kanye should be allowed to have a completely naked Caitlyn Jenner doll[4:22:22]   that is fully animatronic and to scale. I can't believe[4:22:26]   this video is just still on YouTube. That's still on YouTube. And it really is[4:22:30]   if AI porn, listen, everybody's going crazy[4:22:34]   about Ludwig and QT Cinderella and[4:22:38]   Peakymont putting their faces. Okay. So it is like basically[4:22:42]   illegal now to cut out a girl's face and put them on a naked body as a Photoshop.[4:22:46]   It's called AI porn. That is illegal now, but[4:22:50]   Kanye West's video where he basically did much[4:22:54]   worse is still up on YouTube. Let's check it out. This is called[4:22:58]   Famist by Kanye West. You can turn up the scary music.[4:23:04]   And this was filmed at Donda Academy.[4:23:08]   My old school, I went to Donda Academy.[4:23:12]   Can we just watch this?[4:23:16]   It's ten minutes of this garbage. Okay, here's where it starts.[4:23:20]   Alright, let's see if this checks out. Do they look real?[4:23:24]   And should this be re-examined as a woke no-no?[4:23:28]   There they are. There's the guys.[4:23:32]   I mean, that looks pretty real. Rihanna![4:23:36]   Like, why are you allowed to have that naked[4:23:40]   full life-sized doll of Rihanna? And it's like the exact replica of her[4:23:44]   real tit and nipple. Like, they used photos[4:23:48]   that they could find of her nipples and made the nipple exact. They did this with Taylor Swift, too.[4:23:52]   So imagine if QT Cinderella's mad, imagine somebody, Kanye,[4:23:56]   your lifetime enemy, is[4:24:00]   doing this to you and everybody in the world is watching and giving him awards[4:24:04]   for it and telling him how amazing it was.[4:24:08]   We need these[4:24:12]   dolls of Hila.[4:24:16]   Is that Taylor? Oh my god. So here[4:24:20]   comes Taylor. I mean, that looks, this is a full, and they spared, the[4:24:24]   whole body is done. From the toenails to the top of the head. Here's[4:24:28]   Taylor Swift. And she's watching this video and then sees this.[4:24:32]   She must have been. Let's see.[4:24:36]   I mean,[4:24:40]   that's so realistic. They were going to show more.[4:24:48]   And there's Kanye. Oh, wait, that's, wait, no, that's Kanye.[4:24:52]   Look at Kim.[4:24:56]   He's Davidson?[4:25:00]   Caitlyn Jenner.[4:25:04]   Look at that.[4:25:12]   Taylor. Is that Taylor? Yes. That, I mean,[4:25:16]   she must, and where is the doll now? Like, does Kanye have the Taylor naked doll?[4:25:20]   That he paid for, he paid for it. I'm surprised that she's not trying to track that down[4:25:24]   to take it away from him. I mean, and they all look, I mean, and you could fully,[4:25:28]   they made full interior vaginas for them, full buttholes,[4:25:32]   everything. There's no difference besides the blood and the heart. And even[4:25:36]   when this came out, everyone was just like, oh, Kanye. I know.[4:25:40]   But you look at this now and you're like, this is crazy to have, especially when it's[4:25:44]   your enemies. Let's see some more.[4:25:48]   Rihanna's dead.[4:25:54]   He's like, Rihanna, can I do this?[4:25:58]   She's like, yeah, I don't give a fuck.[4:26:06]   Wake up, Mr. West. Police up.[4:26:10]   Kim.[4:26:18]   I just want to see if there's more Taylor.[4:26:24]   I just caught the jet to fly with personal debt, put one[4:26:28]   up in the sky. Oh my God. The sun is in my eyes.[4:26:32]   Woke up and felt the vibe.[4:26:36]   No matter how hard they try, we never gonna die.[4:26:40]   Okay, very cool. I certainly[4:26:44]   could have a Hila Klein, but if this is on YouTube, Hila Klein doesn't even know that I'm[4:26:48]   her enemy. So that's even less. Maybe Taylor respects the video as[4:26:52]   true art. Well, then to Hila needs to respect, this is true. I want the Hila[4:26:56]   doll. Find that artist, get the same thing made. I think if Taylor[4:27:00]   didn't believe. You know what? You could give her the same body as Taylor Swift if you're doing the Hila doll.[4:27:04]   To tell you the truth. I think if Taylor[4:27:08]   was that, didn't respect this video as art, she would be doing everything to track[4:27:12]   it down and stop him. I mean, if the same artist makes me that[4:27:16]   Hila doll, it needs to be respected. I'll do a rap over it.[4:27:20]   I'll be Puerto Rican day parade floating. Art.[4:27:28]   Yeah, I think that's great. And I think the Hila[4:27:32]   I'm starting. Which I would use at the rain.[4:27:36]   Can you build a Hila naked doll and then shoot it?[4:27:40]   And can the naked doll be pregnant with her third child?[4:27:44]   Can it? I'm asking artistic questions for the museum.[4:27:48]   Don't shoot the messenger. Shoot the museum owner.[4:27:52]   Joe Rogan's Comedy Mothership is getting closer to[4:27:56]   opening. Did you see this? Joe Rogan's Comedy Club.[4:28:00]   We've got a video here of the Mothership. They did it at the Old Ritz[4:28:04]   Theater. My old place. A real slap in the[4:28:08]   face to me. So here it is. The Comedy Mothership.[4:28:12]   This is all we got so far.[4:28:18]   So there it is.[4:28:22]   Can we arrange. They don't show anymore.[4:28:26]   Can we arrange some opening night hijinks?[4:28:30]   How about this. Nobody do anything[4:28:34]   illegal. I don't think yelling red bars watching is illegal. I think opening night.[4:28:38]   Can we find out what opening night is? Let's do this homework.[4:28:42]   BBG. The bring back group on Facebook. Let's do[4:28:46]   some homework. This is what I want to do. All expenses paid of course.[4:28:50]   I will fund this. We've got to keep it legal.[4:28:54]   Nothing bad could happen. Remember you're just yelling red bars watching. Let's pack[4:28:58]   this place with 30 of you somehow.[4:29:02]   I think 30 people would be a good number. We send them all there and you[4:29:06]   just, red bars watching, it just screamed from start to finish of the whole[4:29:10]   four hour night. Okay? And video it's just[4:29:14]   HD. So let's get that set up. Find out. So we need somebody to find out[4:29:18]   when opening night is. Who wants to go. Organize this.[4:29:22]   You guys could all hang out. Have a meet up of friendship.[4:29:26]   And then I'll buy everyone dinner and drinks[4:29:30]   and stuff like that. And then you'll send me the tapes[4:29:34]   of red bars watching and we'll, you know. Sounds nice and legal.[4:29:38]   Yep. Sounds nice and legal. Very light college style.[4:29:42]   Opening day hazing.[4:29:46]   Sound good? Let's get that organized now before it's too late because that would be[4:29:50]   good to make opening night a mess. And[4:29:54]   keep yelling and they'll have to take 30 people out from all different parts of the crowd. They'll have to[4:29:58]   be escorting and it'll really disrupt. Well I don't know. Are you allowed to[4:30:02]   disrupt a show to that degree without getting in trouble? I don't know.[4:30:06]   Whatever you do outside of this.[4:30:10]   Outside of this is your[4:30:14]   fault. Don't drag me into this. I don't want to get in trouble for this at all.[4:30:18]   Oh yeah. This is a pretty good story.[4:30:22]   Let's see. We should watch something here. I'd like to watch it. Oh! Here's a good one.[4:30:26]   Some black guy mentions us.[4:30:30]   This was sent to me a dozen times. I guess Owen[4:30:34]   Benjamin. A good buddy of mine. And I like Owen. I will[4:30:38]   always, you know,[4:30:42]   really like him. And[4:30:46]   I don't know what happened. I don't know who this black guy is. He invoked our name[4:30:50]   apparently. A black man that Owen is fighting with. With braids.[4:30:54]   He looks similar to the rope I used for my face poles[4:30:58]   at the gym. Now this black guy yelled our name.[4:31:02]   I don't want any trouble with the black guy. I think the black guy is just as good as Owen.[4:31:06]   I don't know either of them. I'm not involved.[4:31:10]   I don't know the back story. I don't know what any of it is.[4:31:14]   But I heard this clip and I loved it. It's incredible.[4:31:18]   Anytime the word red bar is mentioned by somebody. That's all I can.[4:31:22]   Owen is most certainly not. Okay. So 132.35.[4:31:26]   And you'll see this wonderful black man instantly.[4:31:30]   This is all I've watched by the way. Is this ten second clip I'm about to show you.[4:31:34]   When I saw this, I started thinking of[4:31:38]   unforgivable. Any black man, and this counts as the woods.[4:31:42]   There's some trees there. Any black man being filmed by the woods[4:31:46]   is unforgivable.[4:31:50]   What are some of the famous lines from YouTube's first video, Unforgivable?[4:31:54]   Dr. Zhivago, bridge over the river Kwai, a mean night.[4:31:58]   That guy was really something else. And then he would break and laugh sometimes.[4:32:02]   He really connected us to him. And his name was unforgivable[4:32:06]   or unforgiven. What was his name? Unforgivable. You got it.[4:32:10]   Or unforgiven. No, it was definitely unforgivable.[4:32:14]   I've watched those so many times. So this is basically unforgivable[4:32:18]   now. And it's shot worse than unforgivable then.[4:32:22]   And let's see what he has to say. Again, I do not know it. I'm not playing[4:32:26]   koi. I'm not being sarcastic. This isn't a booty call or whatever you call it.[4:32:30]   This isn't a dog whistle. I don't do any of that. I promise you.[4:32:34]   This is just, somebody goes- Mike, you gotta- See, the chat just exploded with everyone[4:32:38]   doing unforgivable. Oh, good. Isn't it nice that we all just love him?[4:32:42]   I mean, that's the nicest- Where is he now? He is what made me not hate black people[4:32:46]   anymore. I miss that guy so much. He should come back. He would be, he's the original[4:32:50]   Kanye to me. Cuter. Okay, so this guy[4:32:54]   is the new unforgivable. He's the new Kanye to me. And I hope that I[4:32:58]   get friends with him and Owen. Maybe mend him and Owen's fight if they're fighting.[4:33:02]   I'm sure it's a very heavily race-related, disgusting fight that I shouldn't get anywhere[4:33:06]   near. So even playing this video gets me a target on my back. In trouble.[4:33:10]   I don't want to be any involved in that. This is just about a funny,[4:33:14]   great video. Let's hear it.[4:33:18]   Owen is most certainly not enjoying this. I don't know why not.[4:33:22]   I'm a nightclub comedian. I'm a noble savage.[4:33:26]   Fuck you, man. I was never that nigga, friend.[4:33:30]   Red bar.[4:33:34]   That's exactly how I say it when somebody comes up to me and asks for[4:33:38]   Red bar.[4:33:42]   And then I run away. But that was amazing. So apparently he's reading a chat[4:33:46]   or something? Fuck you, man. I was never that nigga, friend.[4:33:50]   Red bar. What did red bar say about[4:33:54]   your kids, bitch? Huh?[4:33:58]   I'm funnier than red bar.[4:34:02]   Hold on.[4:34:06]   We're on time.[4:34:10]   I believe that he is.[4:34:14]   That's why I'd like to offer him a job here at the Red Bar Industries.[4:34:18]   To work for me. Mopping the floors![4:34:22]   As the janitor. Still a job?[4:34:26]   No, again, no backstory. This is all that was sent to me. Listen.[4:34:30]   Huh? I'm funnier than red bar.[4:34:34]   I'm more of a fucking savage than red bar.[4:34:38]   You fucked with me. You shouldn't have did that.[4:34:42]   Unforgivable, maybe? I can go on like this[4:34:46]   for months, nigga. Give me[4:34:50]   my fucking public apology.[4:34:54]   Don't stream when I stream.[4:34:58]   Until Amy I say hey.[4:35:02]   And again, I'm not kidding. I have no idea what this[4:35:06]   is about or if this is like inappropriate for me to play. We like the clip.[4:35:10]   It reminds me of Unforgivable. We're not taking sides[4:35:14]   in one of a war that everyone's in. And you know what? That guy is funnier than us.[4:35:18]   And he is more savage than us. I'm not ready to deny that he said that.[4:35:22]   I'd like to pass something on to my fellow streamers, okay? As a guy who's been[4:35:26]   doing this for a long time. You know, um[4:35:30]   you don't have to have like a physical war[4:35:34]   with each other day in and day out. To have a[4:35:38]   marvelous time. Just keep that in mind.[4:35:42]   Thank you. Just some wise words. Doesn't need to be a[4:35:46]   hateful war. Unless[4:35:50]   it's me and Sam Tripoli.[4:35:54]   Just kidding. You know, and again, when these cameras go down[4:35:58]   when these lights go off, that's when your war should stop. Nobody should be doing[4:36:02]   a war outside of a professional environment of a show.[4:36:06]   That's just a funny war. Okay, guys. We can't have that. Josh[4:36:10]   Denny was laid to rest. What is this about?[4:36:14]   Should I play it from the beginning?[4:36:18]   19 year old Josh Denny was killed[4:36:22]   by bandits and laid to rest. This is really the title of the[4:36:26]   video. Joshua Kirk Denny. His real name.[4:36:30]   Okay, let's see what happens here in this video. Josh Denny was laid to rest[4:36:34]   it says.[4:36:44]   There's a bunch of black people in a cage.[4:36:52]   What happens here? Where do I go from here?[4:36:56]   Is there a specific code? I don't know. Didn't you zoom in[4:37:00]   or should I keep playing it? I really don't know where to go.[4:37:04]   Go to 1225. I just opened it and that's what it was on and I saw a shocking image.[4:37:08]   1225. Again, we got all excited, of course.[4:37:12]   Oh, dear. It's not him.[4:37:16]   Well, okay, this has got to be the guy that they've laid to rest[4:37:20]   and they've put him in an Ikea[4:37:24]   bookcase and they've given him some[4:37:28]   I guarantee there's no embalming going on here. They don't know about that.[4:37:32]   And they were all just crowding around. Is this what a Zimbabwe funeral? I just can't believe that there's also[4:37:36]   another Josh Denny out there making this much of a splash.[4:37:40]   Would it be okay for me to give him a final kiss?[4:37:44]   What do you think? I don't think I can make it that far.[4:37:48]   I know, you don't really do kisses anymore. Well, the TV's too far back.[4:37:52]   People don't know this. See, I can't even reach it.[4:37:56]   See? I'd be hitting the screen. It's very far away.[4:38:00]   So I'll just... Goodbye, my brother.[4:38:04]   Not in a black way. And there he goes.[4:38:10]   I'm assuming[4:38:14]   they just went like this afterwards and pushed him over.[4:38:18]   Very cool video. Very funny. Very hopeful video. We thought that could have been about Josh.[4:38:22]   It wasn't. Josh Denny is another one of our enemies here on this show.[4:38:26]   Can you do this Philip DeFranco, or no, wait, while we're talking about Denny's stuff, do this Ally Alexander[4:38:30]   video. It's very funny. Yeah, here's another really scary one. Ally Alexander, the creator[4:38:34]   of January 6th. Big Red Bar fan.[4:38:38]   He was featured on this show.[4:38:42]   We did an interview with him before January 6th took place.[4:38:46]   Remember, this guy is the guy we call Piranha.[4:38:50]   Piranha. He looks like a piranha, and he's been a big fan.[4:38:54]   And this is the latest video from him. Would you like to see it?[4:38:58]   Let me unmute and we'll get this going. This is[4:39:02]   absolutely frightening. This is Ally Alexander, aka Piranha.[4:39:06]   See what he's got to say.[4:39:10]   Oh, sorry, it's doing the thing where I have to be[4:39:14]   very specific with how I do this here. You've got to do a refresh[4:39:18]   and then a quick unmute.[4:39:22]   Kline is a thief. He bears false witness[4:39:26]   against Ye, and now he's defrauding the public.[4:39:30]   He's defrauding investors, and he's defrauding customers.[4:39:34]   It's time for him to go down and stop the steal.[4:39:38]   Alex Kline is a thief. He bears false[4:39:42]   witness. So this is what Piranha's been doing. I mean, it really is[4:39:46]   fucking horrifying. Imagine waking up to this over your bed.[4:39:50]   Imagine being Alex Kline. I know. Whoever[4:39:54]   that is. We don't know who Alex Kline is, but. He is the owner of STEM, the[4:39:58]   STEM player. Really? Yes. Oh my God. Because they kicked Kanye[4:40:02]   off their... That could be Kanye. No. Look at that[4:40:06]   graveyard. That old school[4:40:10]   war cemetery. This is so fucking scary. Oh my God. This could be like[4:40:14]   in a music video. This could be like in a Beyonce video.[4:40:18]   You know, to show blacks what they're up to[4:40:22]   in a funky way. An eccentric black way showing[4:40:26]   all types of Urbana as she dances in Zimbabwe.[4:40:30]   You know, they would show this up close. This is art.[4:40:34]   Very high art. And that's what he's been up to. Very nice. I'm glad[4:40:38]   I make some of the best friends doing this show. Such nice people[4:40:42]   surrounding me. Kanye, this is[4:40:46]   Danny. Okay. That was fake. Okay. Let's see. Philip DeFranco.[4:40:50]   Sebastian Aniskelko movie trailer. The Philip DeFranco thing. Yeah, we'll do it.[4:40:54]   Okay. But I just felt I just did so much Ethan. I just[4:40:58]   want to get back into that again. Isn't it about Ethan?[4:41:02]   Kinda. Quicker. Okay. Philip DeFranco. We don't have to watch. I just put in just what Philip[4:41:06]   said in the book. That's all that matters to me. Oh, okay. Exactly. So this is...[4:41:10]   He didn't know about any changes. And Philip DeFranco, he's just doing his regular news. You know this guy[4:41:14]   does the news. And he's doing his regular news[4:41:18]   and then we're watching this. We watch his news program every day.[4:41:22]   And then this is what he says. Watch this. Now, Philip DeFranco, again, he's[4:41:26]   a father. Father of two, he's got two of those goofy kids that still can't talk[4:41:30]   but they're like nine and fifteen. And they still walk around[4:41:34]   and they go da da da. And they like knock over stuff at his office and he's[4:41:38]   laughing. It's like your kid needs to learn how to talk now. Their[4:41:42]   teeth are all spaced out like L.A.I. Alexander's but they're like fifteen.[4:41:46]   Da da da da da da. If your kids are doing that[4:41:50]   da da da ba ba voice after the age of two, you got[4:41:54]   retarded. I want you to know that.[4:41:58]   Philip's a married man but he's been very worried about his[4:42:02]   appearance. You know, look how high his camera is.[4:42:06]   We'll show you this if we can get a full shot of his. Here you go.[4:42:10]   I can show you how high his camera is placed so far above him.[4:42:14]   Right here is the bottom of the floor.[4:42:18]   That's the floorboard.[4:42:22]   So his camera is so high up that you're seeing the bottom of his floor.[4:42:26]   So he's arranged a whole system for himself to look skinnier.[4:42:30]   He's very concerned about his weight. Six thirty was the time code.[4:42:34]   Wait till you hear what he's done. And of course he's got these[4:42:38]   these veneers he got. He got the[4:42:42]   veneers which look really bad. You know, he looked like[4:42:46]   Jeffree Star. He's dyeing his hair.[4:42:50]   Medium brown aka black. All hair dye is just black.[4:42:54]   There it is. And[4:42:58]   for being a father. You go back to[4:43:02]   yeah. For being a father. You know, for having this[4:43:06]   very busy job. You know, he's a millionaire. He's got a wife.[4:43:10]   He's got a father. He should not be concerned so much with his appearance.[4:43:14]   You'll see what I mean. This goes a little too far. Right now and I also[4:43:18]   you know what? It is so beside the point of this story but since he was mentioned I kind of[4:43:22]   just want to say this. To Ethan Klein, can you stop talking about my[4:43:26]   fucking weight on your podcast? Well I... What? We couldn't believe[4:43:30]   it. I mean this shot us out of bed. And to[4:43:34]   Ethan Klein, can you stop talking about my fucking weight[4:43:38]   on your podcast? Listen to this. This gets worse.[4:43:42]   You know what? This is the middle of the news. It is so beside the point of this story but since he was mentioned[4:43:46]   I kind of just want to say this. To Ethan Klein, can you stop talking[4:43:50]   about my fucking weight on your podcast? Well I personally use people saying[4:43:54]   negative things about my weight or my looks as further motivation when I'm working out.[4:43:58]   To the point that I even do like David Goggins-esque bullshit like taking the audio of them[4:44:02]   calling me fat or whatever language they use and mixing it with pump up[4:44:06]   songs for my workouts. They're all... Excuse me? He's so[4:44:10]   insecure about his weight that he takes clips from other[4:44:14]   YouTubers who have called him fat. He cuts those out and[4:44:18]   puts them into songs that he[4:44:22]   listens to while at the gym. I mean can[4:44:26]   somebody recreate what that must be like? Can we get some pump up music with[4:44:30]   people saying Philip DeFranco's fat? He thinks that's something[4:44:34]   that you could say. Listen to this again. To the point that I even do like David Goggins-esque[4:44:38]   bullshit like taking the audio of them calling me fat or whatever language they use[4:44:42]   and mixing it with pump up songs for my workouts. There are also tons[4:44:46]   of people that deal with weight issues and eating disorders which by the way it's well[4:44:50]   documented that I've talked about myself having an eating disorder that I've had to really[4:44:54]   fight to overcome over the years. So when you say on your podcast to hundreds of thousands... Eating disorder[4:44:58]   by the way that's like terrible to say that you had an eating... His eating disorder[4:45:02]   is he's a lazy fuck faggot who just wants[4:45:06]   to eat snacks and not really work out. That's not an[4:45:10]   eating disorder. Okay. Why don't you ask Taylor Swift about what an eating[4:45:14]   disorder is and go back and look at some of the skinny arm photos.[4:45:18]   She was about 10 pounds in your weight.[4:45:22]   But it's like what are you so worried about? You look exactly the same as you did[4:45:26]   before. Imagine worrying about this. With pump up songs for[4:45:30]   my workouts. There are also tons of people that deal with weight issues and eating disorders[4:45:34]   which by the way it's well documented that I've talked about myself having an[4:45:38]   eating disorder that I've had to really fight to overcome over the years. So when you say on your podcast[4:45:42]   to hundreds of thousands and if not millions of people that I am permanently doughy[4:45:46]   that I am a ham sandwich. That's all that was said.[4:45:50]   They were talking about him fighting Ethan in a boxing match.[4:45:54]   And Ethan goes man that guy's like permanently doughy. And then[4:45:58]   Aneesa goes yeah like a ham sandwich. That was it.[4:46:02]   So that's the problem that he needed to use[4:46:06]   in his professional news show. He needed to stop the news. To say stop[4:46:10]   saying this. A disorder that I've had to really fight to overcome over the years. So when you say on your podcast[4:46:14]   to hundreds of thousands and if not millions of people that I am permanently[4:46:18]   doughy that I am a ham sandwich. It's fucked and I think it can have a[4:46:22]   genuinely negative impact on other people. But that's where I'm going to leave it. I don't want anyone going after[4:46:26]   anyone because of things that were said about me. I just think that we should all try to be better.[4:46:30]   Okay so let's try this. We need everybody's help. Let's[4:46:34]   go to his Instagram. I'm blocked. Jules[4:46:38]   why don't you go to his Instagram. Pull up his most recent photo and put it in the[4:46:42]   chat. A link to his most recent photo in the chat. And then[4:46:46]   what we're going to do is I want everybody to go fat[4:46:50]   joke crazy. Okay. As detailed as[4:46:54]   you can. We're going to pick one winner tonight. One hundred dollars[4:46:58]   to the funniest fat insult[4:47:02]   on Philip Defranco's page and we're going to find those results[4:47:06]   by the end of the show. He doesn't like being called fat. Well[4:47:10]   that's exactly what we must do. Let's just tell him that Ethan sent you.[4:47:14]   Oh that was the other thing. No red bar is watching. No red bar.[4:47:18]   Guys before you go over there listen to the rules. Everybody[4:47:22]   go over there. I'm an H3 fan.[4:47:26]   Ethan sent me to talk about[4:47:30]   your and then your own thing. Do not say red bar and[4:47:34]   by the way you are all H3 fans technically[4:47:38]   because of all the stuff we watch of them. So[4:47:42]   you're a fan. You heard Ethan call him fat[4:47:46]   from this clip and now you're here because[4:47:50]   of Ethan and you're going to be doing the same. Do not mention red bar.[4:47:54]   Again we're going to pick a winner. The funniest decided by[4:47:58]   me. We'll get one hundred dollars tonight. Venn mode to[4:48:02]   them. Paypal and we'll check those results in an hour. How about that?[4:48:06]   Alright get in it guys. We'll take a break. We'll be right back[4:48:10]   while you draft those up. Okay. Philip Defranco and Jules is[4:48:14]   going to post the link to the picture that we want to do it on so that they're all in one[4:48:18]   place so that we can all check them. So don't go ham yet. Remember you want to use the link.[4:48:22]   Jules is one of them in a white hoodie. Perfect.[4:48:26]   Okay we'll be right back. You want me to hit the music?[4:48:30]   We'll see you soon. Come up with something good.[4:48:56]   Come up with something good.[4:49:26]   You gotta come down.[4:49:30]   Down.[4:49:34]   Come down.[4:49:38]   Go down.[4:49:42]   Down.[4:49:46]   Go down.[4:49:50]   Come down[4:49:54]   I'm waiting, too hard, I'm gonna come down[4:50:04]   I'm gonna come down[4:50:14]   I'm waiting, too hard, too hard[4:50:30]   I'm waiting, too hard, too hard, too hard[4:50:42]   I'm waiting, too hard, too hard, too hard[4:50:56]   I'm gonna come down[4:51:12]   I'm waiting, too hard, too hard, too hard[4:51:32]   I'm waiting, too hard, too hard, too hard[4:51:38]   Throw on a new song and bring that guy back[4:51:44]   Here he comes, red bar returns[4:51:50]   Right as this song kicks in[4:51:53]   Oh shit[4:51:56]   Yes, yes[4:51:58]   This is a song I listened to in my new Bluetooth headphones to test if they were loud enough[4:52:05]   Welcome back.[4:52:08]   We have some.[4:52:11]   It's time to smoke.[4:52:14]   So smoke.[4:52:35]   It's still very good isn't it?[4:52:43]   Good song still.[4:52:44]   I thought it would sound stupid.[4:52:46]   I listened to it.[4:52:47]   I had this big problem.[4:52:48]   I bought the Apple Air Max Pro over the ear headphones.[4:52:55]   I put them on.[4:52:56]   I go these are the lowest headphones I've ever had.[4:52:59]   I was sitting there for hours playing with settings to try to make them louder.[4:53:04]   And really it was like the max volume was basically like what my 30% volume would be.[4:53:12]   So I was like this is crazy.[4:53:14]   These headphones must be for wimps.[4:53:16]   They don't want to hurt your hearing at Apple.[4:53:18]   So then I googled what are the loudest Bluetooth headphones.[4:53:22]   And this one kept popping up on the list.[4:53:23]   All of them.[4:53:24]   It was the Sony 1000MX8.[4:53:27]   Something like that.[4:53:28]   The higher end Sony version that competes with the Apple Air Max Pro over the ear headphones.[4:53:35]   And oh I'm buying these headphones because I use this elliptical at the gym.[4:53:41]   And you know you need it for that.[4:53:43]   So I get the Sony's and they're just like a tad louder.[4:53:50]   So then I start googling more and entering the word Reddit after my question.[4:53:55]   And here's my answer.[4:53:58]   Everybody.[4:54:00]   You know there's only a few people by the way saying these headphones are so low.[4:54:03]   These headphones are so low.[4:54:05]   The consensus.[4:54:07]   I'm deaf.[4:54:09]   Yes.[4:54:10]   And this makes perfect sense.[4:54:11]   I mean my headphones here if Jules put them on she would like.[4:54:14]   When I put on Jules's headphones right here on the show and I listen.[4:54:17]   I can't even hear it.[4:54:18]   To me it's like a faint whisper.[4:54:20]   And that's her full volume.[4:54:22]   My full volume is loud enough to like.[4:54:24]   It's like speakers.[4:54:26]   So I don't know what to do.[4:54:27]   I've just realized that I am very.[4:54:29]   I mean I was listening on full volume for an hour the other day.[4:54:33]   And to me it was like the weakest shit ever.[4:54:36]   And people I'm reading all these forms like.[4:54:38]   I can't even get it past 70% volume without wanting to scream and break my ears.[4:54:43]   What are you going to do?[4:54:44]   I don't know.[4:54:47]   Well I'm going to the hearing doctor.[4:54:49]   And we're going to get that figured out.[4:54:51]   Maybe it will even make.[4:54:52]   Maybe I'm missing out on some key frequencies.[4:54:55]   And it'll really make my singing better if we can fix my ears.[4:55:00]   I always knew that I liked it louder than everybody else.[4:55:03]   I always suspected.[4:55:04]   It was for the many many years of listening to these headphones on the show.[4:55:08]   Very loud for a very long time.[4:55:10]   And inching it up every time I got bored with the loudness.[4:55:15]   And now I think I'm to the point where.[4:55:18]   Where there's not a headphone in the world that is loud enough for me.[4:55:21]   Like the only way I'm able to do this.[4:55:23]   I got a headphone amplifier here that's turned up to 70%.[4:55:27]   With full volume coming out of the main mix.[4:55:30]   So I need like 70% over.[4:55:33]   The most people's max in order to feel anything.[4:55:37]   Do you have any like tinnitus?[4:55:41]   Yeah.[4:55:43]   Yeah.[4:55:44]   I'm like a football player with my tinnitus.[4:55:46]   Mike Tinnitus.[4:55:47]   Football star.[4:55:49]   Okay.[4:55:50]   I want to show you this while we're showing you insecure guys.[4:55:53]   This guy.[4:55:54]   I mean one of the most insecure guys out there.[4:55:56]   Chrissy D.[4:55:58]   Come on down.[4:55:59]   Why don't you put Chrissy D.[4:56:01]   Up next.[4:56:02]   They're shopping around.[4:56:03]   They're pushing this Chrissy D.[4:56:05]   On everybody right now.[4:56:06]   Chris D.[4:56:07]   Stefano.[4:56:08]   I mean I really find nothing redeemable.[4:56:11]   You know who his best role was?[4:56:12]   Backyard Bar Wars.[4:56:15]   Each backyard contestant will have to build their own structure.[4:56:19]   And a signal to drink.[4:56:21]   Backyard Bar Wars.[4:56:22]   He was terrible in that but at least that was a good role for him.[4:56:27]   His stand up is nonsense.[4:56:29]   His interviews are nonsense.[4:56:31]   And he's always making excuses and worrying.[4:56:34]   Maybe he thinks that's his shtick.[4:56:37]   It's not.[4:56:39]   So we're going to show you these two clips because we saw them on Jimmy Kimmel first.[4:56:44]   And I noticed something about him.[4:56:47]   And it's these new sunglasses.[4:56:48]   I love when somebody gets new glasses.[4:56:50]   You know like when Tim Dillon just got a new pair of glasses.[4:56:53]   Maybe we'll get around to showing you this.[4:56:54]   Tim Dillon got a new pair of glasses.[4:56:55]   It's making him very boring about Iraq.[4:56:59]   So we've got this.[4:57:00]   Chrissy on Jimmy Kimmel.[4:57:03]   And we'll watch this.[4:57:04]   Finally they do a walkout.[4:57:05]   Usually on these clips they don't do the walkout.[4:57:09]   You could kill that.[4:57:10]   Which is my favorite part of a talk show is when they announce the person and we get to see them walk out.[4:57:16]   Actually you chose what this person is made out of.[4:57:19]   Most clips of talk shows now it just cuts to the person sitting there.[4:57:24]   You've got to watch eight three minute clips out of order of their appearance.[4:57:29]   And I like a full start to finish.[4:57:32]   I need to see them walk out.[4:57:33]   It's very important to me.[4:57:34]   Here's Jimmy Kimmel who's been playing with himself too.[4:57:38]   Not in this video but the latest video we saw.[4:57:41]   You could tell he got a procedure in between that surgery.[4:57:46]   Oh my god we'll be able to compare.[4:57:47]   Check out his face now.[4:57:48]   Remember it.[4:57:49]   And then grab me that clip of the Donald Trump.[4:57:51]   So this is before his procedure that he just recently got.[4:57:56]   He did like a whole eyebrow lift coming up.[4:58:00]   He's starting to look not normal.[4:58:02]   But here's Chris DiStefano.[4:58:04]   You tell me if you notice anything weak coming out of Chris DiStefano here.[4:58:08]   Our next guest is a very funny man from New York with a new show that teaches the young people about all the crazy things that happened before they were born.[4:58:16]   Super Maximum Retro Show premieres March 7th on Vice TV.[4:58:20]   Please welcome Chris DiStefano.[4:58:27]   He comes out and we think he's just doing this new look.[4:58:32]   We think he's doing this new look just for TV.[4:58:35]   You just put it on the costume so he's got these glasses here that you'll get to hear of more.[4:58:41]   And he's got this suit and a turtleneck and he's a whole new Chrissy D.[4:58:46]   Vice TV please welcome Chris DiStefano.[4:59:03]   Wow, this is a great look.[4:59:05]   You like this?[4:59:06]   Yes, you look very good.[4:59:07]   I feel like I look like Jeffrey Dahmer.[4:59:09]   Okay, I'm sick of this one.[4:59:12]   Everybody who gets these vintage glasses now has to be.[4:59:17]   They're so insecure about wearing their vintage frames that they go, ah, like Dahmer glasses.[4:59:23]   This is up there with that mullet shit I was talking about.[4:59:26]   Or the color pink or all these other things that you can't get over.[4:59:30]   They're not Dahmer glasses anymore.[4:59:32]   First of all, Dahmer didn't wear anything like this.[4:59:34]   These are all very updated, modern versions on vintage glasses.[4:59:40]   Nobody is looking at you going Dahmer Dahmer.[4:59:44]   And if they are, they're just as out of it as you.[4:59:47]   Rarely does someone actually look like Dahmer.[4:59:50]   No one ever looks like Dahmer and it's like, if you thought you looked like Dahmer, well then why would you do it?[4:59:58]   Usually when I put on clothes, if I look in the mirror, I go, oh, I look just like Jeffrey Dahmer.[5:00:01]   I'd go, take the clothes off.[5:00:05]   You know, unless it's Dahmer night in which we both dress up as Dahmer in fuck.[5:00:13]   But here he is, he's too insecure about his new glasses.[5:00:16]   He can't just go, ah, thank you.[5:00:19]   When I came on this season with new glasses, I didn't sit there and go, oh, so these glasses.[5:00:25]   You know, so listen to this.[5:00:28]   It's a great look. You like this?[5:00:29]   Yes, you look very good.[5:00:30]   I feel like I look like Jeffrey Dahmer.[5:00:34]   You look like you didn't get the role of Jeffrey Dahmer.[5:00:38]   Yeah, they're my dad's glasses. They're the only thing he kept in the divorce.[5:00:42]   Okay, so here's another lie.[5:00:44]   They're not your dad's glasses.[5:00:47]   He's kind of trying to pass this one off as real.[5:00:50]   I look like Dahmer. No, they're just my dad's glasses.[5:00:53]   He passed them to me.[5:00:55]   And he doesn't really make it clear that that's any sort of joke.[5:00:58]   Jeffrey Dahmer, they're like.[5:01:00]   And if that is a joke, what kind of joke is it?[5:01:02]   They're the only thing he kept in the divorce, so I figured, you know.[5:01:05]   They got a nice pink tint to them.[5:01:07]   You like that?[5:01:08]   What year did your dad wear those glasses?[5:01:10]   See, he thinks they were your dad's glasses.[5:01:14]   Nah, they're my dad's glasses.[5:01:16]   Now, the joke about the divorce, that's a joke.[5:01:20]   And now he's going, what year did your dad wear them?[5:01:22]   And he's like, ah, okay, let's keep lying.[5:01:25]   Pink tint to them.[5:01:26]   You like that?[5:01:27]   What year did your dad wear those glasses?[5:01:29]   Probably, I guess he got out of prison in 1983, so I guess.[5:01:33]   I know your joke, but you're not saying they're not my dad.[5:01:36]   The year I was born?[5:01:38]   Yeah.[5:01:39]   Are you responsible for any?[5:01:40]   Okay, so your dad's glasses, look how he's sitting, and it's like,[5:01:43]   why can't you just wear the glasses?[5:01:45]   Why do they need to be a topic?[5:01:47]   That's not that crazy.[5:01:49]   Have you seen Tim Dillon's glasses?[5:01:51]   That should be a topic.[5:01:53]   So this was on Jimmy Kimmel.[5:01:55]   This was, what day did this come out?[5:01:58]   Six days ago.[5:01:59]   Then he appears on the powerful one.[5:02:04]   J-R-E.[5:02:07]   Is there just a clip or we go into Spotify here?[5:02:09]   Yeah.[5:02:10]   We go into Spotify.[5:02:12]   Oh, I don't know.[5:02:13]   You have a Reddit poster?[5:02:15]   No, that's nothing.[5:02:16]   So we're going to Spotify here, and we're finding Joe Rogan.[5:02:19]   This could take some time.[5:02:21]   Oh, there he is.[5:02:22]   Is it playing for you?[5:02:24]   No.[5:02:25]   No, it's okay.[5:02:26]   I hear the music, but it's definitely not playing over here.[5:02:30]   Let me just click on it myself, because this could create a lot of problems.[5:02:34]   Oh, look, Russell Brand was just on.[5:02:36]   Chris DiStefano.[5:02:37]   Check it out.[5:02:38]   The Joe Rogan Experience.[5:02:40]   During my day, Joe Rogan podcast.[5:02:42]   This happens a lot.[5:02:44]   Let's try clicking on it down here.[5:02:45]   I can't figure out how to ever get this to work.[5:02:51]   Getting audio only.[5:02:53]   So we're going to close the app.[5:02:55]   This happens quite frequently.[5:02:56]   You should see it on the Apple TV.[5:02:58]   You've got to do three closes to get this thing to work.[5:03:03]   So you open it.[5:03:04]   You play it.[5:03:05]   You know it's not going to work.[5:03:06]   You open it.[5:03:07]   You play it.[5:03:08]   Then the video starts playing a little bit, then disappears.[5:03:11]   So you do another closure, and when you reopen it and try again, it works on the third time I've been doing this for six months.[5:03:18]   This system of three closures.[5:03:24]   So it's a very normal thing.[5:03:26]   Let's see if it works this time.[5:03:27]   Here they are.[5:03:28]   Here they are.[5:03:29]   The Joe Rogan Podcast.[5:03:30]   Check it out.[5:03:31]   The Joe Rogan Experience.[5:03:33]   During my day, Joe Rogan Podcast.[5:03:35]   My night.[5:03:36]   All day.[5:03:37]   Okay, we're going to just watch the beginning here.[5:03:39]   And we're up.[5:03:40]   Hello, Chrissy.[5:03:41]   Hello.[5:03:42]   Good to see you, brother.[5:03:43]   Nice to see you.[5:03:44]   I like the shades.[5:03:45]   I know.[5:03:46]   I feel like Jeffrey Dahmer.[5:03:48]   You feel like him now?[5:03:50]   That's quite the upgrade from looking like him.[5:03:52]   What kind of feelings are you feeling?[5:03:54]   The glasses are actually taking him over.[5:03:56]   I feel like Dahmer now.[5:03:59]   You feel like him?[5:04:00]   Because he didn't feel good.[5:04:02]   He felt illegal.[5:04:04]   A lot of his feelings were illegal.[5:04:07]   So you feel like Dahmer now?[5:04:09]   I feel like Dahmer.[5:04:10]   His new merch is coming out in the Pablo font.[5:04:14]   Let's hear some more about these glasses.[5:04:17]   He's got to tell everyone he's Dahmer now.[5:04:19]   The Joe Rogan Podcast.[5:04:20]   Check it out.[5:04:21]   The Joe Rogan Experience.[5:04:23]   During my day, Joe Rogan Podcast.[5:04:25]   My night.[5:04:26]   All day.[5:04:29]   And we're up.[5:04:30]   Hello, Chrissy.[5:04:31]   Hello.[5:04:32]   Good to see you, brother.[5:04:33]   Nice to see you.[5:04:34]   I like the shades.[5:04:35]   I know.[5:04:36]   I feel like Jeffrey Dahmer.[5:04:37]   Are those Anthony Aidan's?[5:04:38]   Anthony Aidan.[5:04:39]   Dude.[5:04:40]   Anthony Aidan.[5:04:41]   Is that?[5:04:42]   Is Anthony Aidan the ones that Fat Boy got in War on Joe Rogan?[5:04:47]   Who's that fat comic's name who's everywhere?[5:04:50]   We can't get enough of him.[5:04:52]   That big fat ass who's always around Louis.[5:04:55]   Two comics, two cigars.[5:04:57]   Robert Kelly.[5:04:58]   Robert Kelly.[5:04:59]   Are Robert Kelly's glasses?[5:05:01]   How does Joe know some glasses brand?[5:05:04]   Is that the same brand?[5:05:06]   Remember when Joe Rogan got those grandpa glasses because Robert Kelly had the grandpa[5:05:10]   glasses?[5:05:11]   Wow.[5:05:12]   He's about to say, I think.[5:05:13]   But I don't know.[5:05:14]   Okay.[5:05:15]   Those might be the ones he's about to talk about.[5:05:16]   Let's hear it.[5:05:17]   It went too far back.[5:05:18]   And we're up.[5:05:19]   Hello, Chrissy.[5:05:20]   Hello.[5:05:21]   Good to see you, brother.[5:05:22]   Yeah.[5:05:23]   Look like Jeffrey Dahmer.[5:05:24]   Nice to see you.[5:05:25]   I like the shades.[5:05:26]   I know.[5:05:27]   I feel like Jeffrey Dahmer.[5:05:28]   Are those Anthony Aidan's?[5:05:29]   Anthony Aidan.[5:05:30]   Yeah.[5:05:31]   Dude.[5:05:32]   Anthony Aidan.[5:05:33]   Saint Mark's, Lower East Side.[5:05:34]   Yeah.[5:05:36]   So not your dad's.[5:05:37]   I wanted to look like a 70s, 80s mobster look.[5:05:42]   That's what I wanted to go for.[5:05:43]   And Anthony was like, I got you.[5:05:45]   Oh, yeah.[5:05:46]   You nailed it.[5:05:47]   Look how uncomfortable he is.[5:05:48]   Anthony Aidan.[5:05:49]   Tell us this.[5:05:50]   And he's one of those guys.[5:05:51]   He's like a MMA guy.[5:05:52]   So it's like he's selling these nice glasses, but then he's got the cauliflower ear, and[5:05:54]   he's always got bruises on his face.[5:05:56]   Yeah.[5:05:57]   I met him in New York.[5:05:58]   Very nice guy.[5:05:59]   He gave me a beautiful pair of sunglasses.[5:06:00]   You happened to meet his glasses salesman before?[5:06:04]   Do you know the odds of that?[5:06:05]   Well, he said he was an MMA guy, so.[5:06:10]   I've just never heard.[5:06:11]   I mean, imagine buying sunglasses, and then the week you wear them, Joe Rogan knows the[5:06:17]   same guy that you bought your glasses.[5:06:19]   I mean, that's crazy.[5:06:20]   Even if you said Sunglass Hut, he shouldn't have known.[5:06:24]   Okay.[5:06:25]   So let's hear some more.[5:06:27]   Colored shades.[5:06:28]   Yeah.[5:06:29]   They're very nice.[5:06:30]   They're transition lenses.[5:06:31]   Yeah, mine too.[5:06:33]   You know, I'm going for it, right?[5:06:35]   And I've went a little crazy.[5:06:37]   You're going for it?[5:06:38]   I'm just going for it.[5:06:39]   I've said, you know what?[5:06:40]   Enough's enough.[5:06:41]   Enough's enough?[5:06:42]   I said, I'm done.[5:06:44]   I'm putting on glasses.[5:06:45]   I'm wearing a watch.[5:06:46]   You're wearing a watch.[5:06:47]   What you got?[5:06:48]   AP Royal Oak.[5:06:50]   Beware of these watch guys too.[5:06:52]   I'm telling you, this watch thing is the sign of a bad guy.[5:06:55]   Nobody nice puts on one of these watches.[5:06:59]   I would love to have a beautiful watch, but I will never do it because it's just, what[5:07:05]   does that mean about you that you're a silly person trying to show guys I'm coming through.[5:07:12]   I'm an established title.[5:07:14]   I'm an established man.[5:07:15]   I am weary about the people who get these watches and every comedian's doing it.[5:07:20]   They're the first people to do it.[5:07:22]   The comedians need to have a Rolex and they always get like the most basic money watch[5:07:28]   a Rolex or an AP because they need people to know it's all about the signaling and the[5:07:34]   comics all get it because they really want you to know like Tony Hinchcliffe.[5:07:38]   I'm not just some guy you've never heard of.[5:07:42]   Rolex, as you can see, Bert has one, Michael Malice.[5:07:50]   Who's that other creep that was just on the first podcaster guy?[5:07:56]   Adam Curry.[5:07:57]   Curry just had one on and I really, I'm just, you know, for my judgment here, and this is[5:08:04]   something I should be all for, you know, as a person who really engages in the finer things,[5:08:10]   loves quality.[5:08:11]   I mean, everything around here is designed by watchmakers desk, this tray, this microphone[5:08:18]   was designed by a German watchmaster for me.[5:08:22]   They're saying the watch that he has is like 200K.[5:08:26]   Yeah, so listen to this little story here.[5:08:30]   I went a little crazy and I'm just going for it.[5:08:33]   I've said, you know what?[5:08:35]   Enough's enough.[5:08:36]   Enough's enough?[5:08:37]   I said, I'm done.[5:08:38]   I'm putting on glasses.[5:08:40]   I'm wearing a watch.[5:08:41]   Wow.[5:08:42]   And I'm changing.[5:08:43]   What kind of watch you got?[5:08:44]   AP Royal Oak.[5:08:45]   Ooh, that's a nice watch.[5:08:46]   I just came, I talked to Andrew Santino and I said, I want to watch and he sent me this[5:08:49]   link and I said, but what about that price?[5:08:51]   He said, if you're going to do it, just fucking do it.[5:08:53]   Listen to this shit.[5:08:54]   And so he, and then I did it.[5:08:55]   And then when I sent him a picture of it on, he was like, dude, I was kidding.[5:08:57]   Like you just jumped like tens.[5:09:02]   So you didn't know, like most guys are wearing like an $8,000 fancy watch, you know, and[5:09:08]   he just thought, Oh, these watches, these people are, they're about 200 to 500K.[5:09:12]   He knows that 200K is way above his pay grade as a guy, so he had to come up with some excuse[5:09:16]   reason why he spent so much.[5:09:18]   Well, even so, I mean, he still has no business for 200K.[5:09:22]   I mean, you need to be making like millions and millions to get a 200K watch for that[5:09:27]   to be a natural thing.[5:09:29]   Otherwise you're just being like absolutely stupid.[5:09:34]   And that's what he's being.[5:09:35]   And that's very...[5:09:36]   Don't you hate Burt?[5:09:37]   You have to hate this guy.[5:09:38]   Come on.[5:09:39]   Like if you hate like Burt's lie stories...[5:09:41]   All this guy does is make shit up.[5:09:43]   He's at on McAdam.[5:09:45]   Listen to this.[5:09:46]   Like go to 430.[5:09:47]   I think there's a little bit more here maybe.[5:09:49]   And then he said, what is, you're like a different Chrissy with these glasses.[5:09:52]   And I know I said to you before, I'm wearing them every day.[5:09:55]   I haven't taken the watch or the glasses off in about two weeks and I feel good about it[5:10:00]   now.[5:10:01]   I feel centered with who I am, but it does feel like, you know, month from now I'll look[5:10:04]   back and really regret this phase.[5:10:06]   Why?[5:10:07]   Because I think that, um, um, um, I, uh, listen, I'm having fun right now.[5:10:12]   It's no regrets, but I'm just saying I know the way my mind works and I think I'm probably[5:10:16]   going too hard, too fast.[5:10:18]   Like I just, you know, the glasses, the watch, you go, I got a tour manager who I don't need[5:10:22]   any of this.[5:10:23]   I'm just going.[5:10:24]   And this guy has like the same amount of money as Steve run as easy.[5:10:31]   And he did the, even Joe's like 200,000 is like way higher than what these people are[5:10:37]   doing.[5:10:38]   Okay.[5:10:39]   That's like producer Michael does a, you know, it's not normal.[5:10:43]   It's psychotic.[5:10:44]   Especially if you'd never had a luxury watch before you haven't worked your way up to this[5:10:49]   goal.[5:10:50]   Okay.[5:10:51]   We're going to jump to four 30 my old bedtime.[5:10:56]   Uh, and we're going to hear what he says here.[5:10:58]   What's this one about?[5:10:59]   Jules.[5:11:00]   Just an add on a lie.[5:11:01]   I'm sure that this episode is full of tales such as these, but I fell asleep.[5:11:07]   Yeah.[5:11:08]   So here's just one example.[5:11:09]   What he does is he feels you out.[5:11:10]   He starts telling a story and depending on, you know, how you're going, he's going to,[5:11:16]   you know, if you're losing, if he's losing attention, he's going to add in a big whopper[5:11:19]   there to get your attention again.[5:11:22]   And if you're laughing really hard, he's going to add on about four more parts to keep that[5:11:27]   laugh rolling.[5:11:28]   Junior, what he does here was in his peak and his prime was as good as anybody that's[5:11:32]   ever laced on.[5:11:33]   Yeah.[5:11:34]   I agree.[5:11:35]   Did you watch the Paul fury fight yesterday?[5:11:36]   Yes, I did.[5:11:37]   Yeah.[5:11:38]   What'd you think?[5:11:39]   I confirmed two things that I've been saying for a long time.[5:11:41]   One Jake Paul is one.[5:11:42]   What do you think is what somebody asks when they want to be agreeable with you first and[5:11:46]   they don't want to say the wrong thing that maybe is the opposite of what you're going[5:11:50]   to say.[5:11:51]   So Chris DiStefano is always going, what did you think?[5:11:53]   Yeah, that's pretty much what I thought.[5:11:56]   Or will he?[5:11:57]   Let's find out.[5:11:58]   Percent legit.[5:11:59]   People that think he's not legit, he's conning you.[5:12:02]   He's conning you with his antics.[5:12:04]   He's conning you with his, his, uh, online persona and the shit talking and the marketing.[5:12:10]   But if you didn't have any of that and me as an analyst, like I, that's one of my jobs.[5:12:16]   I analyze mixed martial arts.[5:12:17]   I'm not a boxing analyst, but I understand it.[5:12:19]   Right.[5:12:20]   When I watch him move around, it's a hundred percent legit.[5:12:22]   When I saw him knock out Tyron Woodley, I'm like, that is a fucking dangerous man.[5:12:27]   Yeah.[5:12:28]   A hundred percent.[5:12:29]   Yeah.[5:12:30]   He's, I was watching it illegally on a phone.[5:12:31]   Why don't you pay for it you fucking piece of shit?[5:12:33]   I didn't know.[5:12:34]   I, cause I got, I ran out of money.[5:12:38]   I was watching it illegally, which is kind of against Joe's industry.[5:12:43]   You know, he hates that they're from the UFC.[5:12:45]   Their big thing is they hate illegal watching.[5:12:49]   So Chris says this and Joe goes, why would you do that?[5:12:51]   And he's like, ah, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da.[5:12:54]   Let's hear these add-ons.[5:12:55]   Yeah.[5:12:56]   When I saw him knock out Tyron Woodley, I'm like, that is a fucking dangerous man.[5:12:59]   Yeah.[5:13:00]   A hundred percent.[5:13:01]   Yeah.[5:13:02]   I was watching it illegally on a phone.[5:13:04]   Why don't you pay for it you fucking piece of shit?[5:13:06]   I didn't know.[5:13:07]   I, cause I got, I ran out of money, I bought too many glasses, I spent it all on the watch.[5:13:15]   No, because I didn't even know, I love sports and stuff, but I'm not into, not that I'm[5:13:20]   not into boxing, I just don't ever like watch it that much.[5:13:23]   And so the guy that I'm with, he was like, oh, the fights happening now.[5:13:25]   So he's like, I got a site and we started, I was eating ice cream yesterday in San Francisco[5:13:29]   in little Italy and we're, and I only eat sweets once a week now.[5:13:33]   So yesterday was my sweets day and I was eating, I ate, I got four scoops of gelato.[5:13:39]   So I was three and a half scoops in and the blood sugar, the way it hit, you know, I was[5:13:42]   getting woozy, but it's like what I'd been waiting for.[5:13:45]   And I'm watching the fight happen.[5:13:47]   And then, you know, San Francisco, right outside I see two homeless guys fighting, like legitimately[5:13:54]   fighting.[5:13:55]   And it was kind of one of those things where I swear to God, even though amazing fighters[5:13:59]   that, that, you know, Paul and fury, the fight outside was so much more entertaining.[5:14:04]   I mean, I've never seen this.[5:14:05]   I saw a homeless man yesterday in front of, as the kid out in the green room, as my witness[5:14:10]   roundhouse kick, another land, another homeless guy's face.[5:14:15]   The guy hit up anything.[5:14:16]   Look at Joe's face there.[5:14:18]   That's a great shot.[5:14:19]   Hold on.[5:14:20]   Let me put it to clear up.[5:14:21]   So Joe is fooled by this and see then, uh, you know, uh, he's taking cues along, we'll[5:14:27]   wait until this clears up, you know, then just Stefano's taking cues.[5:14:30]   Oh, Joe really likes us.[5:14:32]   What did they do?[5:14:33]   A roundhouse kid is probably, you know, a bum fell into another bum and then they walked[5:14:37]   away.[5:14:38]   Maybe there was a yell and Chris goes, what was that?[5:14:40]   Two bums fighting while the fight's on?[5:14:42]   Huh?[5:14:43]   Let me think about that for a sec.[5:14:44]   Now it's a roundhouse kid.[5:14:46]   I think that he was just watching the fight on his phone outside, which is slightly odd.[5:14:50]   And then since he's watching a fight, his, he was like, and those bums fighting around[5:14:55]   me.[5:14:56]   So yeah, Joe's like a roundhouse kick cause that's actually pretty technical.[5:15:01]   Bums usually don't break out roundhouse kick.[5:15:03]   So I can't wait to hear this.[5:15:05]   So can you, is there a way to go back on Spotify without doing 15 whole seconds?[5:15:10]   That's a big job.[5:15:12]   There's gotta be a way to just snip back a tad, huh?[5:15:17]   One of these buttons should do the trick, but they don't.[5:15:20]   Okay.[5:15:21]   Let's just see if we could begin some outdoor dining was like shell shock.[5:15:26]   Like, you know, like woozy bleeding from his lip and then just scurried off.[5:15:29]   And I was like, wow.[5:15:30]   And then I bought the homeless guy who won the fight ice cream.[5:15:34]   No, no, no, no, no.[5:15:36]   When they say I swear, that means I lied, I lied.[5:15:41]   So you bought the winner of the fight.[5:15:42]   It all came around.[5:15:43]   All day of my life is Bert sucks, Bert's such a liar, Bert's stories are so annoying.[5:15:47]   This is Bert.[5:15:48]   He's like worse than Bert in my opinion.[5:15:50]   As far as lie stories go, every single time I've ever heard him speak, it's something[5:15:54]   like this.[5:15:55]   Listen to that ad on one more time.[5:15:57]   Just the chin.[5:15:58]   Another, the other homeless guy's face, the guy hit up against some outdoor dining was[5:16:02]   like shell shock.[5:16:03]   Like, you know, like woozy bleeding from his lip and then just scurried off.[5:16:06]   And I was like, wow.[5:16:08]   And then I bought the homeless guy who won the fight ice cream.[5:16:12]   I swear to God.[5:16:13]   But did you know whether who, who instigated the fight?[5:16:16]   Maybe the homeless guy with the roundhouse kick is like a crack stealer.[5:16:18]   I was going to say, I think most likely fentanyl instigated the fight.[5:16:22]   I feel like fentanyl would calm it down.[5:16:24]   Yeah, that's true too.[5:16:25]   I don't know if one's less than you've got the same friend, but I mean, it, it got, uh,[5:16:29]   you know, it's pretty wild.[5:16:30]   It was wild there in North beach, you know, the little Italy.[5:16:33]   I was like, Zander and CJ Brown checked the news.[5:16:37]   There are no reports of a roundhouse kick, bum fight, very fly, caught ya.[5:16:44]   Then I bought him ice cream and then like, turned out he was like an amazing chess player[5:16:48]   and beat this guy.[5:16:49]   And he's like really rich now.[5:16:51]   And then, uh, no, it's all a lie.[5:16:55]   Prove it.[5:16:56]   Prove that it's not a lie or I'll see you in court.[5:16:58]   Chris DeStefano.[5:17:01]   He's insecure.[5:17:02]   He's doing add-ons.[5:17:03]   You know, it was really funny.[5:17:04]   It was on DoorDash, the app yesterday, one of my favorite apps, this DoorDash.[5:17:09]   Sometimes I'll do six orders at a time just to see all those maps go crazy.[5:17:14]   And like I said, I've got DoorDash extreme, where I actually have an intercom button on[5:17:18]   my phone pressed to talk to driver in real time walkie talkie.[5:17:23]   And I press, I go, hurry up.[5:17:25]   Thank you.[5:17:27]   You know, and I get this guy, I see him all over the map.[5:17:30]   Uh, I also have a new feature that I'm installing with DoorDash where I could take the phone,[5:17:36]   take their dot on the map.[5:17:38]   And if I need them to be there faster, I could speed them up by pulling the dot with my finger,[5:17:44]   making their car go upwards of 200 miles an hour to my house.[5:17:47]   So I'll go like, and this guy's like, did you see that crazy car accident in LA where[5:17:54]   the lady was zooming?[5:17:57]   She like shot through the intersection at like so high speeds and crashed and killed[5:18:01]   all these people.[5:18:02]   No, we don't live in it.[5:18:03]   How would I have possibly seen that?[5:18:04]   I don't live in Los Angeles anymore.[5:18:06]   No, no, no.[5:18:07]   I moved out of Los Angeles 17 years ago.[5:18:10]   Sorry.[5:18:11]   I'm Jewish.[5:18:12]   I'm a Jewish old woman.[5:18:14]   Um, so, uh, yes, DoorDash and the app and DoorDash.[5:18:18]   What was I bringing up?[5:18:19]   I love the app DoorDash for many reasons.[5:18:23]   Jesus Christ.[5:18:24]   I was like going to go somewhere with this.[5:18:26]   Sorry.[5:18:27]   I love the app DoorDash I've installed.[5:18:30]   That was just a joke and add on.[5:18:32]   Oh yeah.[5:18:33]   That's what it was.[5:18:34]   Add ons.[5:18:35]   You know how we call these things add ons?[5:18:36]   So I'm on DoorDash and uh, I forgot what I was ordering, but there was a little column[5:18:41]   you scroll down, you pick your main thing and then it says add ons.[5:18:47]   I showed Jules like a look and says add ons.[5:18:50]   Like what the guys do.[5:18:51]   So.[5:18:52]   Wait, I have the video of you using DoorDash extreme.[5:18:54]   Yes.[5:18:55]   Let's see me using DoorDash extreme, which I would love to do that.[5:19:01]   There should also be a way to execute the DoorDash driver after the food's been delivered.[5:19:06]   Like you press a button on the app and they incinerate.[5:19:10]   Who do I hate delivery drivers, even if they're the nicest, fastest, I always adjust the tip[5:19:16]   to 0.00 afterwards.[5:19:20]   Here it is.[5:19:21]   Uh, I tell them I screw them.[5:19:22]   You know what I do on DoorDash?[5:19:24]   I do like a $200 tip.[5:19:26]   And when they see that increase, you know, they don't get to see the tip, but they see[5:19:28]   the total.[5:19:29]   So they go, okay, the cheesecake factory here for one person, you know, a hamburger.[5:19:34]   But then the bill is 375 here.[5:19:36]   I must have a $200 tip.[5:19:37]   I'm going to race to this guy.[5:19:39]   I grabbed the food out of that sucker's hand.[5:19:41]   I go, wait, wait, wait, sir, sir.[5:19:42]   Don't go away.[5:19:43]   He goes, what, sir, thank you for the tip.[5:19:45]   Is that what you wanted?[5:19:46]   I go, yeah.[5:19:47]   Oh, about the tip.[5:19:49]   And then I show him in real time and I adjust it and I show him that it's now been adjusted[5:19:55]   to zero.[5:19:56]   And then I've reported him also for being unprofessional and harassing and I go, get[5:20:00]   out of here now.[5:20:04]   And it works every time that you could trick these idiots into speeding to your house.[5:20:08]   Okay.[5:20:09]   Here is a video example of me operating that DoorDash driver's car.[5:20:14]   Yes.[5:20:15]   Okay.[5:20:16]   This was in LA.[5:20:17]   Just any territory.[5:20:19]   Let's let's check it out.[5:20:21]   I'm excited.[5:20:22]   I haven't seen this one because we're watching an intersection.[5:20:25]   Cars are going and it's just a four way intersection here at all.[5:20:30]   Looks pretty normal to me.[5:20:31]   A nice, beautiful day in San Bernardo Valley.[5:20:36]   I can't see anything wrong yet.[5:20:38]   Wow.[5:20:40]   Look at that.[5:20:41]   Yes.[5:20:42]   That would be great.[5:20:43]   Can somebody make a man of this?[5:20:45]   Look at this.[5:20:46]   So right here, we'll pay attention and yes, it's pretty silent, but you see a car.[5:20:50]   That's what happens when this is my DoorDash driver here.[5:20:52]   Watch my door.[5:20:53]   There he comes.[5:20:56]   And then believe me, he's reported if that food is even one bit burnt.[5:21:00]   Overcooked.[5:21:01]   My food was overcooked from the fiery crash of your irresponsible driver when I was operating[5:21:07]   his car in a 200 mph.[5:21:10]   Okay.[5:21:11]   Let's see what we can do next here.[5:21:13]   There's so much good stuff.[5:21:17]   That it makes it tough.[5:21:18]   What about this video of Tony on Megyn Kelly?[5:21:20]   Oh, sure.[5:21:21]   Yeah.[5:21:22]   Put it in up next and yeah, Tony Hinchcliffe was on Megyn Kelly who again, we watched[5:21:29]   Megyn Kelly once when she had Dasha Nemperkova.[5:21:34]   By the way, if you ever search Dasha in iTunes, click on her name on iTunes movies, go to[5:21:40]   the scary of 61st street or whatever Dasha from Red Scare movie made, click her face.[5:21:46]   Two other movies come up starring her.[5:21:51]   We cannot wait to watch these apparently nudity.[5:21:55]   Okay.[5:21:57]   So when the last time we watched Megyn Kelly, I think she had the Red Scare girls on and[5:22:01]   Dasha took a sneak puff.[5:22:04]   And remember Megyn Kelly had this attitude of like, what have I become?[5:22:09]   You know, she's sitting there for 9k views.[5:22:11]   Let's see what she's up to now with her Tony Hinchcliffe interview.[5:22:14]   10k view.[5:22:16]   When we checked this six days ago, it was at 9k.[5:22:19]   Did 10k.[5:22:20]   Megyn Kelly.[5:22:22]   I mean, they've made movies, Hollywood films about Megyn Kelly being a superstar, abusive[5:22:28]   woman or something.[5:22:29]   Remember that she was fired.[5:22:31]   She was one of the biggest news.[5:22:32]   This would be like if Barbara Walters was only pulling 10k.[5:22:36]   So to have your own show like this, the Megyn Kelly show, and it's just getting 10k views,[5:22:42]   tops, you know, and nobody's really watching and you're interviewing.[5:22:46]   Nobody's like Tony Hinchcliffe.[5:22:48]   You could see it in her eyes.[5:22:50]   Like how disappointed she is in herself.[5:22:54]   So here it is Tony Hinchcliffe on the Megyn Kelly experience.[5:22:58]   Only online.[5:22:59]   I've been bullied so badly.[5:23:00]   I wanted to stand up for people like I wanted to confront bullies.[5:23:04]   It's sort of exactly right.[5:23:05]   It's been a true line in my mind.[5:23:07]   They start off right away about how she's been bullied.[5:23:09]   She's got Tony on zoom.[5:23:13]   And Tony is in his little bedroom, his office.[5:23:16]   Look at his office.[5:23:17]   Look into his office here.[5:23:20]   Here he is white walls.[5:23:21]   He's got a nice printer here.[5:23:24]   Printer combo fax machine scanner combo.[5:23:29]   Let's see what he's got here.[5:23:30]   He's got a nice poster leading against the wall, probably a film he worked on.[5:23:34]   And here's where I really draw the line.[5:23:37]   He's got about a dozen backstage VIP laminates pinned to the wall behind him to brag about[5:23:46]   what he's been allowed in VIP and where he's been.[5:23:51]   It's one of our biggest things here.[5:23:54]   So this is his stupid office.[5:23:55]   And of course, Tony's sitting here right coming.[5:23:57]   That's exact.[5:23:58]   Yep.[5:23:59]   That's exactly right.[5:24:00]   And they've been through all the same things as you.[5:24:02]   That's 100%.[5:24:05]   He does that with everything.[5:24:06]   Anytime someone ever says something to Tony goes, that's exactly right.[5:24:10]   Yes, that is.[5:24:12]   And we all, you know, started out with fill in the blank.[5:24:17]   It's always like that.[5:24:18]   And she's talking about how she was bullied because she did blackface on national TV.[5:24:24]   No, she didn't even do that because what's wrong with dressing up like Mr. T?[5:24:28]   And they fired her.[5:24:29]   That was another crazy one that you should have never backed down from.[5:24:32]   There's nothing wrong with dressing up as black people.[5:24:35]   I stand by that 100%.[5:24:38]   There is nothing wrong with dressing up as black people.[5:24:41]   I dressed up as Obama.[5:24:42]   It can be Matombo.[5:24:43]   I mean, you should see the slaves.[5:24:46]   I dress up as nightly walking around and I'm doing stuff.[5:24:49]   I'm hanging from vine.[5:24:51]   I've decorated a whole room is a jungle where I play black jungle, not black face.[5:24:57]   I do the whole black environment.[5:25:00]   So and you'll never find the room.[5:25:01]   You'll never enter the room.[5:25:02]   It's the red room.[5:25:03]   Okay.[5:25:04]   Here they are.[5:25:05]   The two of these guys.[5:25:06]   Megyn Kelly talking about bullying.[5:25:09]   I've been bullied so badly.[5:25:11]   I wanted to stand up for people like I wanted to confront bullies.[5:25:15]   It's sort of actually it's been a true line in my journalism career too.[5:25:20]   You experienced this too.[5:25:22]   That's exactly right Megyn.[5:25:24]   Tough, tough guys everywhere around you.[5:25:27]   And you were never like the big meaty muscly dude.[5:25:30]   You had to find another way of protecting yourself.[5:25:34]   Yep.[5:25:35]   That's your backstory.[5:25:36]   Your backstory is you needed to find a way to protect yourself because you were so small.[5:25:41]   So you decided to become Roastmaster General's friend.[5:25:46]   That's exactly right.[5:25:48]   Yeah.[5:25:49]   His lips are really, maybe he's doing black face right now.[5:25:52]   That looks like a black guy's mustache and lips.[5:25:54]   Holy fuck man.[5:25:55]   That's exactly right.[5:25:57]   I'm being edgy.[5:25:59]   I'm being black.[5:26:01]   This face is crazy.[5:26:02]   I know.[5:26:03]   Look at this face.[5:26:04]   What are you doing?[5:26:06]   And look at Megyn.[5:26:07]   She instantly is like, what have I become?[5:26:10]   You put Vaseline on your lens for this.[5:26:13]   By the way, you got to tell your guests to also put on the same Vaseline effect because[5:26:17]   then it really, one of them is really sharp and you are really blurry.[5:26:22]   You see, it has to match.[5:26:26]   Just because you're a girl doesn't mean you could do a glam dream sequence filter.[5:26:32]   I mean, look how blurred that is to keep her youthful skin alive.[5:26:36]   Meanwhile, Tony's sitting here, you know, this looks like it could be VR.[5:26:40]   It's very clear.[5:26:41]   Well, VR is not that clear.[5:26:44]   Looks like it could be 8K.[5:26:45]   VR is very blurry.[5:26:47]   I could barely see in VR.[5:26:49]   This is me in VR.[5:26:50]   What the fuck?[5:26:52]   What the?[5:26:53]   Take this off me.[5:26:54]   All right, here you go.[5:26:56]   Find another way of protecting yourself and it's directly related to what you do today.[5:27:02]   Yeah, absolutely.[5:27:05]   The neighborhood that I grew up in was the most dangerous part of the most dangerous[5:27:10]   part.[5:27:11]   You and Big Mike.[5:27:12]   Huh?[5:27:13]   It was the most dangerous part of town.[5:27:16]   Yeah.[5:27:17]   Yeah.[5:27:18]   Right.[5:27:19]   That's what I meant.[5:27:21]   So there's houses being arson, people being shot.[5:27:25]   You were right.[5:27:26]   You were Eminem, right?[5:27:27]   Every city in America, there was always a police siren that you could hear from wherever[5:27:31]   you were.[5:27:32]   That's just what was normal to me.[5:27:36]   And so it was very dangerous and it was all very real.[5:27:39]   And I mean, that's the classic, like, yeah.[5:27:43]   If you're some insecure guy, you always wanted to be the big, tough guy.[5:27:47]   You've always been a complete nerd.[5:27:49]   You've always been a guy that everyone thought was gay.[5:27:51]   Yeah.[5:27:52]   Now you got this whole new life.[5:27:53]   Why not rewrite, rewrite like Josh Denny?[5:27:56]   Oh yeah.[5:27:57]   It was just all black people.[5:27:58]   I was basically in urban decay, uh, drive-bys like I got, you know, people would do drive-bys[5:28:04]   at me all the time.[5:28:05]   They're like, they forget.[5:28:07]   No, you didn't.[5:28:10]   Maybe that was going on in your state.[5:28:12]   You know, it's like, I could say, oh yeah, the South side of Chicago, you know, it's[5:28:15]   so dangerous.[5:28:16]   I'm a hundred miles away.[5:28:20]   So that's what these guys do.[5:28:21]   They all do this.[5:28:22]   Santino, all of them, they pretend they go, well, I was from Ohio and there's a place[5:28:27]   there that didn't have violence that we heard about on the news.[5:28:31]   So I was involved in it.[5:28:33]   And they believe me, they twist this.[5:28:36]   Tony did not grow up around thugs.[5:28:39]   Uh, and so it was very dangerous and it was all very real.[5:28:44]   And I mean, bullying is usually the voice that you get from coming out of the hood.[5:28:51]   Hey brothers, have you ever heard what it sounds like from a white guy from the hood?[5:28:56]   You just did on Amityville.[5:29:00]   Yeah.[5:29:02]   So like, uh, yeah, like growing up, it was really like, that's how you would talk scientifically[5:29:09]   sound.[5:29:10]   That's how you would talk.[5:29:11]   Oh, hello.[5:29:12]   Cause how dangerous could it have been if they let you have that voice?[5:29:17]   I mean, if you were hanging around with danger and you were allowed to have that voice in[5:29:21]   this look, well then that should have been well documented as something crazy that happened[5:29:26]   in the hood.[5:29:27]   I mean, that should be a big movie.[5:29:30]   So you didn't grow up in the hood.[5:29:31]   They wouldn't allow you to be anywhere near their hood.[5:29:34]   You drove by, you locked the door when you told people you were there.[5:29:38]   Interesting.[5:29:39]   It was all very real.[5:29:40]   And I mean, bullying isn't even the word that was going on in my neighborhood.[5:29:46]   It was just straight up like thuggery, I guess we could call it like it was just thuggery.[5:29:52]   Do you mean the black people that I am at odds with these days?[5:29:57]   I bet Megan Kelly wants to move away from all the blacks too.[5:30:01]   I want more blacks.[5:30:02]   I would love it if everywhere I went, I couldn't even move that they were just black people[5:30:07]   and they were all just raping jewels in front of me and ripping her with their giant claws.[5:30:16]   So I'm the opposite of these guys, to be honest, you couldn't, you shouldn't make eye contact[5:30:20]   with anybody.[5:30:22]   Fear, a lot of danger.[5:30:24]   And my whole way of handling that is if anybody ever tried anything with me, I would just[5:30:29]   make fun of them from the youngest, from as far back as I can remember.[5:30:33]   You know, one of the famous, what he forgets, you're barely good at that.[5:30:37]   Now imagine how much you sucked when you were younger, you know, they talk about as if,[5:30:42]   you know, like they'll fantasize and rewrite their childhood as if the best joke they told[5:30:47]   this month was like the kind of stuff they were doing back then.[5:30:50]   No, you barely have it figured out now, as far as the making fun of people and being ruthless.[5:30:59]   You're more ruthless than Joe Rogan.[5:31:00]   I think that's just about it.[5:31:03]   Like Joe Rogan can't make fun of somebody.[5:31:05]   If you put a picture in front of Joe and said, make fun of this for 10 seconds, he'd go.[5:31:10]   He can't.[5:31:11]   But then Tony was like, well, that guy is kind of, he could either be 15 or 55 who knows[5:31:18]   what age he is.[5:31:19]   And Joe will be like, that's incredible.[5:31:22]   How do you come up with it so fast?[5:31:24]   Well, yes, of course I've been doing this my whole life from the hood.[5:31:29]   No.[5:31:30]   So you were not, and I'm telling you, it's like your meanest joke now wouldn't stand[5:31:36]   up to the hood to make gangsters go.[5:31:39]   He's one of us.[5:31:40]   Put the guns down, fellas.[5:31:43]   He could stay.[5:31:44]   Thank you for joining our gang.[5:31:47]   Here are our guns.[5:31:49]   And the last of the money we have is a leader.[5:31:54]   No, sorry.[5:31:55]   One of them from the youngest, from as far back as I can remember, you know, one of the[5:32:01]   famous little stories that I always tell is that I got beat up on my first bus ride to[5:32:06]   my first day of school.[5:32:09]   I made fun of my, who ended up being and still is one of my good friends.[5:32:13]   I made fun of him because his grandma walked away.[5:32:16]   It's not cool to tell all these stories about how you were bullied to death.[5:32:21]   I've suppressed mine.[5:32:22]   Okay.[5:32:23]   They're deleted.[5:32:25]   Get a clue.[5:32:27]   You don't sit around and go, yeah, my whole life I was bullied.[5:32:29]   Everyone hated me.[5:32:30]   Oh, really?[5:32:31]   Everyone?[5:32:32]   Oh, you must've been so cool.[5:32:34]   You must be cool now.[5:32:35]   No.[5:32:37]   This is what your story should be.[5:32:38]   How were you received as a kid?[5:32:39]   I was the king of the school.[5:32:42]   Everyone feared me.[5:32:43]   Everyone respected me.[5:32:44]   Very rich.[5:32:45]   I had my own classroom that was more of a crash pad, a pad, a cool, sweet pad.[5:32:52]   I drove, I had my own bus.[5:32:55]   I was basically, the principal would come to me for answers, you know, I was basically[5:33:01]   like the owner of the school, the, not the manager, the owner, I owned the property.[5:33:09]   The teachers all would have to ask me if they could even do these curriculums.[5:33:12]   I would say, no, that's a cool backstory, not thrown around like a rag doll, but now[5:33:21]   I'm good.[5:33:22]   That was only 20 years ago and still is one of my good friends.[5:33:25]   I made fun of him because his grandma walked him out to, uh, to the bus stop and like he's[5:33:31]   standing there with his grandma's, the bus pulls up and I go, I can't remember exactly[5:33:36]   what I said.[5:33:37]   Basically something like, oh yeah, these people who tell, I'm telling you, you're always,[5:33:42]   he always gets himself into trouble with this.[5:33:43]   He's like, yeah, I had the most hilarious thing happen to me, uh, standing there with[5:33:49]   my buddy and uh, you won't believe it.[5:33:52]   It was so, I don't really remember what it was, but I'm telling you, it crushed and I[5:33:57]   crushed him.[5:34:00]   You gotta at least have some lie prepared.[5:34:04]   These stories never go over well and Megyn Kelly is sitting there like this, Megyn Kelly[5:34:09]   is acting like you're a friend's mom when you're in eighth grade, lying through your[5:34:13]   teeth.[5:34:14]   They're like, okay, little boy, you know, Megyn Kelly's looking at this and going, this[5:34:21]   is what I've become.[5:34:22]   I'm talking to this little boy with headphones.[5:34:23]   She's telling me how he's a killer and a slayer now and I go, I can't remember exactly what[5:34:29]   I said, but basically something like, oh, you had to have your grandma stand out there[5:34:33]   with you.[5:34:34]   And uh, he punched me right in the face.[5:34:37]   When I arrived to school, the first thing I had to do was rinse blood out of my mouth[5:34:41]   and a little tiny water fountain.[5:34:43]   Anyway, uh, it's just, are we both on his side in this story so far?[5:34:47]   I'm on his side.[5:34:49]   Whoa, stand up Megyn.[5:34:54]   So Megyn sitting there, she's going, oh, you know, he's like, I got punched in the face.[5:34:59]   My first day of school, my first memory was watching blood out of my teeth.[5:35:03]   She's like, we're on the bully side, right?[5:35:06]   I decided I hate you.[5:35:08]   You fag.[5:35:09]   I can't say fag, I've been blacklisted for black face talk.[5:35:14]   So he didn't, this kind of throws him off.[5:35:16]   Listen to this.[5:35:18]   And uh, he punched me right in the face.[5:35:20]   So my, when I arrived to school, the first thing I had to do was rinse blood out of my[5:35:24]   mouth and a little tiny water fountain.[5:35:27]   Anyway, uh, it's just, are we both on his side in this story so far?[5:35:31]   I'm on his side.[5:35:32]   Did you see that?[5:35:38]   Let's see that again.[5:35:39]   I mean this guy, it's just, are we both on his side in this story so far?[5:35:43]   I'm on his side.[5:35:44]   Yeah, no.[5:35:45]   Yeah.[5:35:46]   I deserve it.[5:35:47]   I really got to get a pause on that story so far.[5:35:50]   I'm on his side.[5:35:52]   Kanye, only Kanye turns that quick.[5:36:04]   Push him.[5:36:05]   If you see, no, no, don't do that.[5:36:08]   Look at her.[5:36:09]   And she was like, you are so pathetic.[5:36:16]   I can't believe men like you even exist.[5:36:19]   I mean, she's used to a lot of teeth.[5:36:21]   It's like an AI image.[5:36:23]   Well, Joe Rogan thinks this is the hottest woman alive.[5:36:25]   Remember the ice queen.[5:36:27]   She's pretty hot.[5:36:28]   She bites.[5:36:30]   She's not hot.[5:36:31]   This is all an illusion.[5:36:32]   She's a 75 year old woman.[5:36:35]   What's hot about this?[5:36:36]   Well, I mean, for a 75 year old woman, she's hot.[5:36:39]   It's like Megamind.[5:36:40]   It's like a goddamn Megamind.[5:36:43]   You guys know Megamind?[5:36:44]   I don't.[5:36:45]   Okay.[5:36:46]   Let's see some more.[5:36:47]   Yeah, no.[5:36:48]   Yeah.[5:36:49]   I deserve it.[5:36:51]   That's what could happen.[5:36:52]   I hadn't really gotten punched in the face that much at that point, justice.[5:36:57]   You know why?[5:37:00]   Speak justice.[5:37:01]   That's mocking you.[5:37:02]   You know, the red bar sign cut to the wide shot.[5:37:05]   That red bar sign just caught my eye.[5:37:07]   And you know, the color is actually pretty washed out on this wide shot.[5:37:10]   You know what it really looks like?[5:37:12]   It reminds me of the Portillo's logo.[5:37:15]   Maybe that's why I like red bar so much because I feel like I'm in a damn Portillo's.[5:37:20]   Studio redesign V2.[5:37:22]   We turn this into a living working Portillo's with staff.[5:37:27]   This becomes just a virtual restaurant.[5:37:30]   I would love that.[5:37:31]   We're going to have a new camera shot that shows more of our sign coming up.[5:37:36]   And I've been getting a lot of asked people want to know what's beyond in the studio.[5:37:39]   And as we get into season 21, okay, we're going to start snooping around this place[5:37:45]   and seeing what else goes on here.[5:37:46]   You guys excited for that?[5:37:47]   We've been really holding you back, barely showing you anything here.[5:37:52]   And boy, do we have a factory of surprises coming up.[5:37:58]   And we're going to be doing a factory style podcast where everything is more by the book.[5:38:05]   Let's watch a little bit more from Tony.[5:38:07]   Yeah, exactly.[5:38:09]   But yeah, and I mean, that's just carried on.[5:38:12]   And then I hated all my teachers all throughout school too.[5:38:15]   I always felt like they had something against me.[5:38:18]   They got like a master's degree.[5:38:21]   She loved school.[5:38:23]   She's like, I can't believe I'm talking to somebody who hated their teachers and was[5:38:28]   bullied.[5:38:30]   This is not the life I wanted.[5:38:32]   So this is what you got.[5:38:33]   Yeah.[5:38:34]   When you offend the black people, now you're on YouTube talking to people that didn't like[5:38:36]   the teachers, not her crowd could bully me more because I didn't have like a dad to complain[5:38:44]   or to go to the parent teacher meetings.[5:38:47]   So I felt like they were my...[5:38:49]   She meant like I've been bullied by the woke.[5:38:54]   She thought you were coming on to talk about how you've been bullied by the woke.[5:38:58]   She doesn't have any interest in your childhood torment.[5:39:02]   Why would she?[5:39:03]   Hi, today's topic is a nerd.[5:39:06]   No political agenda here.[5:39:08]   Just a nerd who got bullied.[5:39:11]   Which are we pro or against that subject?[5:39:14]   We don't know.[5:39:16]   We only know that we're against woke bullying, always the teachers and the teachers were[5:39:22]   telling me making fun of people's never going to get you anywhere.[5:39:26]   And I mean, it's just the story's just wild.[5:39:32]   I use that as fuel to literally make my entire life exactly that poor life she's built first.[5:39:40]   I mean, this is how I felt when I was interviewing.[5:39:48]   This is me interviewing LMR Carly.[5:39:58]   Look what you have to go through as an interviewer at my show, kill Tony.[5:40:02]   I make fun of people I've written for the last, whatever, 10 comedy central Rose.[5:40:07]   If some woman like this came up to me and asked me about my comedy, it's trust me.[5:40:12]   It's not anything you'd want to be involved with.[5:40:15]   Goodbye.[5:40:16]   Go do your lady things, please.[5:40:18]   Oh, you want to know that's how better?[5:40:21]   Oh yeah.[5:40:22]   It's hot data.[5:40:23]   He was a fan.[5:40:24]   You start really?[5:40:25]   Do you know mountain?[5:40:26]   When I hear about mountain, what about my disease?[5:40:31]   Oh, that might be interesting.[5:40:33]   Okay.[5:40:34]   Let's see what you did on a bunch of rows.[5:40:36]   Just did more roast recently, the roast of Bert Kreischer and uh, yeah, I literally look[5:40:43]   at her.[5:40:44]   She'd make fun of people for a living.[5:40:45]   So how does it come to you?[5:40:47]   Maybe that's a weird question.[5:40:49]   She's got to get to work somehow, huh?[5:40:51]   When they stopped talking, you got to get to work.[5:40:53]   I swear.[5:40:54]   It's not letting me search the transcript.[5:40:55]   It wasn't there a part where she was like, what would you say about me right now?[5:40:59]   Roast me.[5:41:00]   We can play.[5:41:01]   It's not that long, right?[5:41:02]   Like we could skip like a minute.[5:41:03]   Okay.[5:41:04]   I would always love to be more clever in my takedowns of people.[5:41:08]   And you know, if you're not, if you don't have it, you don't have it.[5:41:11]   You know, just the way I talk about some talking about on the air, just like when you dislike[5:41:15]   somebody, I don't, I feel like it's a gift that you either have or you don't have.[5:41:19]   But every time, and we've had, I got an email about a guy who approached Tony, you know,[5:41:25]   Tony's been approached about me hundreds of times.[5:41:27]   This is what people do.[5:41:29]   They go to kill Tony.[5:41:30]   They get access to Tony and they go, Tony red bar.[5:41:34]   And he goes, yeah, he's not funny.[5:41:36]   And then he gets all mad.[5:41:38]   He never has said anything else.[5:41:40]   Yeah.[5:41:41]   He's not even funny.[5:41:42]   That's all he says.[5:41:44]   Dozens of accounts.[5:41:46]   We've got an email here.[5:41:47]   I'll read this email after the show, but keep that in mind.[5:41:49]   He doesn't have something in the chamber.[5:41:52]   Where's his stuff in the chamber for me and all the guys who approached me, they go red[5:41:55]   bar, huh?[5:41:57]   He's not funny.[5:41:59]   That's not really a, you know, like how hard are you?[5:42:05]   How much of a roast master are you?[5:42:07]   If that's all you can say, sorry, I'm wrong.[5:42:16]   Were you developed from that moment in the school bus forward and is there a force of[5:42:19]   skill any of us can have?[5:42:21]   I think it's a little bit of both, you know, you find out, I mean, yeah, there's a natural[5:42:26]   skill for it, but I definitely had it evolved and tailored.[5:42:32]   You know, I was lucky enough to have a great mentorship under Jeff Ross, uh, the roast[5:42:37]   master general, a decade and a half.[5:42:40]   Listen to when he says I had a great guru by the name of Jeff Ross, the roast master[5:42:48]   general, look as if she knows Jeff Ross, watch this poor ship under Jeff Ross, uh, the roast[5:42:56]   master general, a decade and a half ago.[5:42:59]   I went on the road with him and I told him, you know, if you ever need help writing jokes[5:43:03]   or anything, I specialize in making fun of people.[5:43:06]   He's like, what's your email?[5:43:07]   She had to literally go like this.[5:43:10]   I mean, the proof is right here.[5:43:16]   I have the tapes and see what he does next.[5:43:21]   Let's go.[5:43:22]   And the rest is history.[5:43:24]   And uh, he taught me how to do it a little bit sweeter, you know what I mean?[5:43:29]   Instead of just going straight in on something, the first thing that you see, you can, you[5:43:34]   know, hit them in the ribs a little bit and, or make fun of something that they don't see[5:43:38]   coming.[5:43:39]   Uh, he, he taught me how to craft it a little bit more into like a martial art rather than[5:43:45]   just being very blunt about the first thing that you notice about somebody.[5:43:49]   I mean, you can not be taken that.[5:43:51]   I have a martial art in me called I'll make fun of you.[5:43:55]   I mean, this is, I imagine telling somebody's mom, this story, she'd be like, okay, it's[5:44:02]   very exciting.[5:44:03]   If you ever talked to somebody's mom, you tell her some story and you could tell, she's[5:44:07]   like, no way.[5:44:11]   That was my whole life.[5:44:12]   I'd go up to mom and say, you wouldn't believe what happened to me at school and push their[5:44:15]   son aside.[5:44:16]   They'd be like, I don't know you.[5:44:18]   Stay away from my son.[5:44:19]   You Jew rat.[5:44:22]   I lived in a very anti Jewish town.[5:44:27]   They were really unreasonable, buddy.[5:44:30]   It's definitely an art form, but just like anything, you know, you find out like, yeah,[5:44:34]   Tiger Woods was a great golfer when he was 10, but he also practices all the time.[5:44:40]   So I do that all the time.[5:44:42]   I don't say what I'm thinking about.[5:44:45]   Somebody like there's that watch.[5:44:46]   Can we get an idea on this piece?[5:44:48]   It's a brick by Dave Portnoy.[5:44:51]   Wait a minute.[5:44:52]   It is.[5:44:53]   Is that a brick watch by Dave Portnoy?[5:44:57]   That's a brick watch.[5:44:58]   Yeah.[5:44:59]   We found it guys.[5:45:00]   You can put this on Reddit.[5:45:02]   Mike from red bar identifies Tony Hinchcliffe's watch answer.[5:45:08]   Brick watch.[5:45:09]   Dave Portnoy tell everybody it's an expensive watch.[5:45:12]   So he is wearing a brick watch.[5:45:14]   Put that in the TFAX subreddit with a note.[5:45:18]   Dear TFAX, join me.[5:45:24]   Thank you.[5:45:26]   No don't write that.[5:45:27]   Don't write that.[5:45:28]   Just tell them Mike found out about this watch.[5:45:29]   Maybe you guys want the info and then make sure you end the post with, I don't even really[5:45:36]   like this guy, but you know, we need the info.[5:45:39]   So I really don't like this guy.[5:45:41]   I mean, he's such a hack, but he does have some news information that we need.[5:45:47]   These pieces of information are very important to us.[5:45:51]   God, I got to go guys.[5:45:55]   I got to get ready for my next post.[5:46:01]   Fuck this guy.[5:46:05]   Any news?[5:46:06]   I need news.[5:46:09]   Making fun of somebody.[5:46:10]   If I'm not making fun of that.[5:46:11]   I'm still thinking it and I can use it at a later time on somebody else.[5:46:15]   You must be terrifying to spend time without a party.[5:46:18]   This is like, I'm having the same feelings I have when I'm at parties.[5:46:20]   I'm actually pretty cool.[5:46:22]   I'm not kidding.[5:46:23]   She goes, you must be pretty terrifying to spend a party.[5:46:26]   And he's like, wow, no, I've actually worked very hard to be very entertaining at parties.[5:46:30]   I actually go in with a plan.[5:46:32]   Watch this.[5:46:33]   It's terrifying to spend time without a party.[5:46:36]   This is like, I'm having the same feelings I have when I interviewed the radical honesty[5:46:38]   guy who came up with this whole program where you have to say whatever you're thinking and[5:46:42]   you can't have any filter.[5:46:43]   The whole time I was like, oh my God, he's going to lay it on me any second.[5:46:47]   You must be a terrifying party guest.[5:46:49]   No, I'm pretty, I'm pretty cool.[5:46:51]   It's pretty, it's pretty cool.[5:46:53]   Cause that's, he didn't work this hard to be a terrifying party guest.[5:47:00]   He was a nerd.[5:47:01]   See, he wants to be the life of the party now.[5:47:04]   He wants people to walk in and go, oh my God, Tony, you know, I got to text people.[5:47:06]   Tony Henscliff is here.[5:47:08]   So we couldn't even take, you couldn't even understand that.[5:47:11]   No, I was actually pretty cool.[5:47:15]   Terrifying party guests.[5:47:16]   No, I'm pretty, I'm pretty cool.[5:47:18]   It's pretty, it's pretty, I'm pretty mellow.[5:47:21]   If I'm around strangers, I know how to, you know, how to, how to hide it a little bit.[5:47:27]   But if I'm around my crew here in Austin, like last night we were out of the bar with[5:47:32]   the big round table and it was just all my friends that know me so well, then I can really[5:47:37]   amp it up.[5:47:38]   Okay.[5:47:39]   Correct.[5:47:40]   Wow.[5:47:41]   You look like crap today.[5:47:42]   I mean, just no humor to it whatsoever.[5:47:45]   And everybody laughs.[5:47:46]   You know what I mean?[5:47:47]   Just being blunt and ridiculous thing.[5:47:49]   And I'm like a wild man around my friends.[5:47:51]   I'll be like, wow, you look like crap today and they die.[5:47:59]   She's like, okay, well the comedy world must be that crap.[5:48:02]   Must be a huge insult over there.[5:48:04]   I get called cunt by my actual boss.[5:48:07]   So do you know my mom, don't fall into the fools.[5:48:16]   See she's becoming a fool herself here now.[5:48:18]   Do you know my mom?[5:48:19]   I, I, I, we have the exact same briefcase lady.[5:48:22]   She's a sweet woman.[5:48:23]   Sounds familiar.[5:48:24]   Okay.[5:48:25]   And then it ends.[5:48:26]   One of our sponsors today.[5:48:27]   Really sorry about that clip.[5:48:28]   Everybody.[5:48:29]   10k views.[5:48:32]   Time to celebrate.[5:48:33]   I mean, you can't have this serious of a news background with 10k views.[5:48:37]   That's just insane.[5:48:39]   You're basically fresh and fit is killing you in the ratings.[5:48:41]   What was that podcast that went higher in the sky than Kumiya?[5:48:45]   Oh, we found a podcast the other day that goes higher in the sky than Kumiya.[5:48:49]   What was that show?[5:48:50]   It could be my YouTube history.[5:48:53]   My mom's YouTube, Google history.[5:48:55]   Sorry.[5:48:56]   I'm getting a little bit ahead.[5:48:57]   I put that email you were talking about next.[5:48:58]   Oh, great.[5:49:00]   It's an email about Tony Hinchcliffe.[5:49:01]   Listen to this.[5:49:02]   And I get many emails, email about meeting Tony Hinchcliffe and asking him about red[5:49:07]   bar.[5:49:08]   Okay.[5:49:09]   So let's read it.[5:49:12]   I met Tony Hinchcliffe in Austin.[5:49:15]   Great.[5:49:16]   Red acted.[5:49:18]   We all learned that word from these new stories.[5:49:21]   What was that?[5:49:22]   I thought that was a whole crowd cheering for me.[5:49:25]   Just you.[5:49:27]   He was okay.[5:49:28]   I met Tony Hinchcliffe in Austin.[5:49:30]   This is a weird way to start an email.[5:49:31]   I, this is how I started email.[5:49:32]   Hey, hi.[5:49:33]   And it's 10 paragraphs of hello.[5:49:37]   Everything's going to be okay.[5:49:38]   I like this style.[5:49:39]   I do too.[5:49:40]   I do too.[5:49:41]   Here it goes.[5:49:42]   I met Tony Hinchcliffe in Austin.[5:49:43]   He was wearing sweat pants at a bar.[5:49:45]   It was hilarious.[5:49:47]   I didn't even notice him until I was getting a drink and looked up.[5:49:50]   I introduced myself and asked, how are you?[5:49:54]   To which he asked, how are you?[5:49:57]   To which I replied, it's nice to meet you.[5:49:59]   I'm such a huge fan of red bar.[5:50:04]   The look on his face was priceless.[5:50:07]   He looked at me with such a mean mug before finally responding saying, that's great.[5:50:12]   I actually think he's hilarious.[5:50:16]   In a tone that was clearly disingenuous.[5:50:19]   Okay.[5:50:21]   So that's what he, I actually think he's hilarious.[5:50:26]   Not.[5:50:28]   Tell him I said that, signed the roastmaster's son.[5:50:33]   I kind of led him on by saying, yeah, I mean, he's got a pretty good thing.[5:50:37]   I don't know why people are rattled by him.[5:50:40]   He's giving them free publicity.[5:50:41]   I actually never even heard of you before I saw you on red bar.[5:50:45]   He replied by saying, have you heard of kill Tony?[5:50:49]   It's very popular.[5:50:51]   You should come out sometime.[5:50:52]   I was like, oh yeah, you were at Vulcan a lot, right?[5:50:55]   To which he replied, I'm there.[5:50:57]   I'm everywhere.[5:51:00]   Before his friend eventually came by and he said, goodbye.[5:51:03]   I went back to the girl I was meeting up with and I told her what happened.[5:51:07]   And then her friend told me she used to date Jeremiah Watkins, Tony's old band.[5:51:14]   I was like, get the fuck out of there.[5:51:16]   No, wait.[5:51:17]   He didn't say that at all.[5:51:18]   He said, I got the fuck out of there.[5:51:21]   Totally different.[5:51:22]   Dude.[5:51:23]   I swear to God meeting him was like listening to your impression of him.[5:51:27]   Everything you criticize him about is so apparent.[5:51:29]   If you actually meet him face to face sent from this proton, male mobile, that would[5:51:35]   be a very, Tony would be one of the freakiest people to see out.[5:51:38]   That's absolutely right.[5:51:40]   It's like seeing the hat man, you know, he was on with Brian red band on Joe Rogan.[5:51:47]   And I noticed something.[5:51:49]   He was on just recently with a Brian red band, Brian red band sitting here, Tony sitting[5:51:54]   here, Joe sitting in front.[5:51:56]   The entirety of the show, I'm going to have to go back and really check, but you know,[5:52:01]   the entirety of the show, Tony only directed his conversation at Joe, Brian sitting here,[5:52:08]   turned to the side like this.[5:52:12]   And Brian would say something, Tony just completely ignores it and just talks straight to Joe.[5:52:17]   So Brian will say something and be like, absolutely.[5:52:20]   So anyways, Joe, and it's like, why are you like embarrassed to talk to red band for not[5:52:26]   he really treats red band poorly might have to email my buddy red band coming up.[5:52:35]   So I, uh, if you could find a clip of him interacting with Brian on this show, please[5:52:40]   let me know because, uh, I don't think that he's very nice to him and you could tell that[5:52:46]   it's a red band.[5:52:47]   Okay.[5:52:48]   Please tell him.[5:52:49]   All right.[5:52:50]   Let's see what we have next.[5:52:51]   Again, it is a stacked night at the red bar.[5:52:54]   I'm Chris Ryan, Brian, Chris Ryan, Brian, bring them on up.[5:52:59]   Let's see what they got.[5:53:00]   Chris Ryan of course is sex at Dawn.[5:53:04]   I don't know how this guy hasn't ended up in a mug shot yet.[5:53:08]   There were four girls in his basement in Puerto Rico and Costa Rica and we found a legend.[5:53:15]   You know, I don't know how he's gotten away with it for so long.[5:53:18]   Chris Ryan's that blonde dopey guy.[5:53:20]   We had a lot of good moments with him on this show.[5:53:23]   What was one of our most famous Chris Ryan outcast song?[5:53:28]   Of course.[5:53:29]   Hey, can we play that one more?[5:53:30]   That's a quick one.[5:53:31]   Give me that one.[5:53:32]   And we'll reintroduce people to Chris Ryan.[5:53:34]   This is a great showing of his personality.[5:53:36]   This was a huge hit on red bar years ago.[5:53:39]   Of course we've got a whole new audience thinks he picks up Reddit, which popularized us.[5:53:46]   And so we got to re-show you guys some stuff from years ago.[5:53:49]   I'm trying to find it.[5:53:52]   Yeah.[5:53:53]   This is a, Hey, yeah, yeah.[5:53:54]   Chris, Chris Ryan, not Chris Brian, Chris, Christopher Ryan sex at Dawn was the big book.[5:54:00]   His whole spiel is he's a sex guru who, uh, encourages people, you know, he does one of[5:54:08]   these things where he's like back in the caveman days, it was actually very normal to have[5:54:13]   six or seven mates.[5:54:15]   And that's actually, you know, what human beings should really be doing.[5:54:20]   And you know, I tell my girlfriend all the time, Hey, it's not me, it's nature.[5:54:24]   You know, he does that whole thing.[5:54:26]   And it's really, yeah, you're just a sex addict.[5:54:29]   And you know, you're making all these books in lion and twist in history in order to make[5:54:34]   sure you could have these orgies.[5:54:36]   I don't know again, how he hasn't landed himself in jail yet.[5:54:40]   Surely you're going to find this guy in some Hawaiian shirt, all messed up with a black[5:54:45]   guy, some kind of mug shot of him in Tampa, Florida, or something like that coming up[5:54:49]   real soon.[5:54:50]   Mark my words.[5:54:51]   I just can't believe it's been this long.[5:54:53]   So yeah, we're waiting on this.[5:54:54]   Hey, yeah, clip.[5:54:56]   And this was such a classic.[5:54:57]   Okay, wait, I've got this one.[5:54:59]   Okay.[5:55:00]   It's coming up.[5:55:01]   I think it has some you in it, but it might have me in it.[5:55:04]   Oh, there we go.[5:55:05]   Okay.[5:55:06]   It's coming through to my instant messenger.[5:55:08]   Let's check out my clicks is when I open messenger and I'm clicking on that.[5:55:13]   Is that considered a hit?[5:55:17]   Because I want to add more hits to my site.[5:55:21]   People still think views are called hits out there.[5:55:24]   My video got 5 million hits.[5:55:27]   Okay.[5:55:28]   Here.[5:55:29]   Oh, wow.[5:55:30]   This is a YouTube clip.[5:55:31]   Someone made my face.[5:55:32]   Okay.[5:55:33]   Oh, wow.[5:55:34]   It's by Ellie Akbar.[5:55:36]   Ellie Anderson.[5:55:37]   So here it is.[5:55:38]   Joe Rogan and Chris Ryan get emotional watching a cover of outcasts.[5:55:41]   Hey, yeah.[5:55:43]   And this is Chris Ryan for you, right?[5:55:46]   My favorite example of a song that sort of misleads you.[5:55:48]   I mean, I really like songs where the cover is better than the original because the person[5:55:53]   doing the cover gets what the song is about better than the original artist does.[5:55:57]   But my favorite example in recent music is Hey Yeah by Outkast.[5:56:02]   Wow.[5:56:03]   It's a really sad song.[5:56:05]   Super sad.[5:56:06]   Yeah.[5:56:07]   There's a dude who did a cover of it.[5:56:10]   See, the thing that I really like about.[5:56:12]   He gets it.[5:56:13]   He gets the sad.[5:56:14]   Okay.[5:56:15]   Yeah.[5:56:16]   Play some of that.[5:56:17]   I just don't really bring you down for nothing.[5:56:18]   I want to see on your badness, baby.[5:56:19]   You motherfucking niggas.[5:56:20]   You fucking black pieces of shit.[5:56:21]   Oh, my God, they're watching me.[5:56:22]   You fucking spooks.[5:56:23]   Let me set it.[5:56:24]   What?[5:56:25]   are all yer neighbor, you motherfucker.[5:56:26]   You motherfucker.[5:56:27]   You're not paying attention.[5:56:28]   You're not paying attention to my answer.[5:56:36]   Oh my god, they're watching me you fucking shit. Let me[5:56:45]   Now shake it[5:56:48]   Shake it shake it shake it shake it shake it shake it like a polar[5:56:55]   Shake it shake it Wow nigger shake it shake it shake it shake it shake it like a Polaroid[5:57:03]   picture[5:57:05]   What a great clip, oh my god, that should go viral 8k views[5:57:11]   Wow, okay. Well that you'll cover that he was talking about. This is the real cover that he was talking about[5:57:18]   Just play for I wasn't good. Yeah, here's the real cover[5:57:22]   This is what he really was showing Joe that they teared up about we couldn't believe it[5:57:29]   Smoke[5:57:32]   I actually like this version. I like a cupboard[5:57:38]   My baby don't mess around because she loves me so and this I know for sure[5:57:47]   But does she really wanna but can't stand to see me walk out the door[5:57:52]   I[5:57:56]   Can't stand to fight the feeling cuz the thought alone is killing me right now[5:58:04]   Well, thank God for mom and dad for sticking to together cuz we don't know[5:58:23]   I[5:58:26]   Didn't show it in there, but there's another part Chris Ryan is like just listen to the lyrics[5:58:31]   He's like can't stand to see me walk out that door Wow, and then Joe was like cheering up[5:58:38]   He's like that's really amazing. That's better than the original[5:58:43]   Wow, so now you get it that was her favorite thing about him. Oh, we don't lose and we're so excited the dose said did we?[5:58:50]   We're still here we're still here. Yeah, we're still here great. Okay. Um, yeah, so that's Chris Ryan[5:58:57]   I'm just reconnecting a few things here. I'm a connection man[5:59:03]   And we're gonna show you he was with Brian Cowan a man's man, man[5:59:11]   I'm a very tall man[5:59:13]   Oh, yeah, and he used to be on Rogan all the time and then Brett Weinstein came on and was like Chris Ryan's book is bullshit[5:59:21]   Actually, and then he just never had him back since then[5:59:24]   So Chris Ryan, I mean he really is like a sex cultist type of guy even jokes about it again[5:59:30]   You're gonna see this guy in the paper[5:59:32]   Here we go. Brian Cowan calm for all my stand-up dates[5:59:34]   I'll be in Canada going to Edmonton by the time you see this is probably done. All the shows are almost sold out[5:59:42]   Nashville zanies March 2 to 4[5:59:45]   And then I'm in New York, New York[5:59:47]   March you've got 285 patreon. I just need you to know that[5:59:53]   285[5:59:54]   paying one the fees[5:59:57]   You're taking that money. How are you making money? Where's the money coming from these goofy little shows that you do know? I[6:00:06]   Just don't know how you're sporting two families[6:00:08]   I must know I must find out did Rogan give you that Rogan loan. I think Rogan did[6:00:14]   Rogan gave you he heard your cancel goes listen[6:00:18]   You shouldn't come on my show right now. I feel horrible about it. I would hang out with a rapist[6:00:23]   No questions asked of course, but that's just gonna make a huge head or Brian could have gone[6:00:28]   Listen, I don't want to drag you into this my brother my friend of 20 years[6:00:35]   I will not drag you into this for one low payment of one milk Joe[6:00:41]   I'm not asking for much one million dollars and I go away. I don't drag you into this[6:00:48]   We can make this easy my brother[6:00:51]   And then he gives him the one mill and then Brian's pretending everything's fine[6:00:56]   I'll pay you back. I'm opening up a patreon[6:01:00]   Joe is patrons at 285[6:01:02]   I[6:01:03]   Mean you can skip ahead to 115[6:01:06]   115 all this ads and stuff. Yep, tons of ads here. It's gonna make the money[6:01:11]   Don't you guys wonder how I'm able to survive I must be making and nothing, huh?[6:01:18]   No ads baby. Not six[6:01:21]   No stand-up dates either not twelve. Here's Chris Ryan everybody now[6:01:27]   Looking bad we notice him. Yeah looking bad. Although some would say some women would say this is a cool[6:01:33]   Look now he does have the he does have this kind of goatee still[6:01:39]   Which I have this go to of course for contalingus[6:01:43]   He's one of those guys[6:01:45]   Actually, the soul patch excites the pleasure centers of the contalingus orgies that I do[6:01:53]   He's uses words like that[6:01:56]   Like very old-fashioned like very out-of-date sex guru stuff and[6:02:00]   Here's the thing about Chris Ryan Chris Ryan's pretty big and let's see if we could catch this here[6:02:07]   Can you tell here?[6:02:12]   I'm noticing an enlargement[6:02:16]   Or no, I'm noticing[6:02:19]   Brian's microphone looks small. Well, let's just play it and we'll see what happens[6:02:23]   Hey in the house doctor for author of civilized death author of sex at dawn[6:02:28]   I love talking to you and I haven't seen you in a long time my friend. You're wearing your hiking boots[6:02:32]   You've got your orange pants on these are my guru. I don't know if these are visible. Yeah, you're ready[6:02:39]   Yeah, these are my guru. That's called leader pants. That's right[6:02:43]   Once we get the the cult go so the sex cult leader pants and he's joking because everyone accuses him of being a sexual[6:02:50]   But you know who's not joking about a sex cult. Oh really dude[6:02:55]   Chris Delia[6:02:57]   Chris Delia his main accusation is that he was starting a sex cult so much so that remember Chris's brand[6:03:03]   Was called super cult. He's changed that to super good[6:03:09]   He had super cult merch everything was super cult and then women came out and said he actually was trying to start a cult a[6:03:17]   Legit, we swear to you, please[6:03:19]   And then he changed it from super cold to super good[6:03:23]   But sex cult and Brian Callan's Chris Delia's best friend as we learned that so let's watch Brian's face as he says sex cults[6:03:31]   Chris Ryan doesn't know that Chris Delia had a sex cult and that his best friends with Brian Callan. So, let's see[6:03:38]   My guru, I don't know if these are visible. Yeah, you're ready. Yeah, these are my guru sex cult leader pants[6:03:46]   That's right. Okay. Once we get the the cult going all the men will have orange pants. You're still working on the cult[6:03:51]   God, it's a lifelong project, you know[6:03:54]   What have you been who else do you know with the call a sex goal?[6:03:58]   Anybody something very recent something very big[6:04:05]   Okay, okay, well, let's see what happens next[6:04:09]   recruitment you have recruitment recruit[6:04:12]   A lot of people have tried. Yeah, usually you get in trouble with it at the end of the day[6:04:17]   I figure I want to get in trouble[6:04:18]   Can you even say that when Chris Delia is literally like on trial for being a sex cult guy by the public trial of our peers?[6:04:27]   Okay[6:04:28]   So that's got to make Brian a little bit nervous. And how do you keep saying it?[6:04:32]   You know how he keeps saying cuz he's a dang actor[6:04:36]   And hope he could lie through his teeth[6:04:39]   He's an actor and when an actor, you know, like when we are lying through our teeth[6:04:44]   This is what a non actor looks like when they're lying though[6:04:47]   It's a good honey. Just me[6:04:50]   But this is what an[6:04:53]   Actor looks like when they're lying smooth sailing they could control the eyes[6:04:57]   They could come up with a line they can control the face because they control faces. That's what they do. So you can never[6:05:05]   Trust an actor to tell you the truth[6:05:08]   It's just too easy for them to lie and you won't be able to spot it[6:05:12]   So you can't just be like, oh, he looks comfortable. He's an actor. He's paid to look that way[6:05:18]   What have you been thinking recruitment? You have recruitment recruit?[6:05:22]   A lot of people have tried. Yeah, usually you get in trouble with it at the end of the day[6:05:27]   I figure I want to get in trouble at the beginning of the day. Just get that out of the way[6:05:31]   Well, you're very honest about it when you call it a sex cult from the get-go[6:05:34]   It's like how you how are you gonna meet to me? That's exactly I wrote a book about sex and I it's coming[6:05:40]   It's coming. I[6:05:43]   Mean, I wear my sex cult stuff on my sleeve[6:05:45]   So how could you mean it's gonna come because the girl is gonna be so Vietnamese and so young and so[6:05:53]   In a box in the back of a truck that you're gonna get in so much trouble. I know listen, I can't prove it[6:05:59]   It's just a theory I have based on words that he said[6:06:03]   But in my mind he goes to those countries and has sex with 12 year old[6:06:10]   Chinese Chinaman[6:06:12]   That's what I think he has done. I just in my blood. That's what I believe. Is that true?[6:06:18]   I don't know. How could it be? I just[6:06:20]   fantasized that your honor[6:06:23]   But I really think that that's what he would do[6:06:26]   same[6:06:27]   Now Chris D'Elia[6:06:30]   Or Chris Ryan. Sorry. Yeah sex expert[6:06:34]   Sex I'm gonna get in your questions with him about these kind of topics. Yes. So it's our next code 25 minutes 25 minutes in[6:06:41]   So they're asking sex questions. That's why they have him on he's a pro[6:06:47]   25 minutes in and Brian's going how do I get away with a B and C?[6:06:52]   So listen to this and why would Brian be interested in a sex guy[6:06:56]   If I was accused of rape and cheating and all this stuff all the time. I wouldn't be talking sex ever[6:07:03]   Okay, I would really hate when other people brought up sex around me I'd feel shame[6:07:09]   You know, it takes a strong actor to go out of his way to do sex convos to try to prove maybe I don't know[6:07:16]   Let's see. He's gonna ask him some questions. Let's hear the questions[6:07:19]   It's like a you know, separate but equal kind of thing. It's like we're different. Don't buy me having a dream need to respect each other[6:07:27]   To the same depth that we demand, you know, we need to offer the same[6:07:31]   What about people who come to you and say I love my partner. I love her so much[6:07:36]   I love him so much, but I think I'm addicted to you know, this this[6:07:41]   Other behavior this so he can't even do that bullshit was like asking for a friend because he is asking for a friend[6:07:50]   What if someone not that I know or a friend of mine?[6:07:54]   Asked you about how to get away with cheating on your wife[6:07:57]   What would the answers to that be?[6:08:01]   Talk slowly[6:08:03]   So let's hear that again. I love my partner. I love her so much. I love him so much, but I'm a different too[6:08:10]   You know this this other behavior this I'm addicted to I can't say no a lot of men are like this thing[6:08:18]   I love my wife. I love my kids. I love my whole life, but I can't stop banging other chicks[6:08:22]   Really, you know and they're my girlfriend or my their wife or whatever. What do you say to those people?[6:08:26]   And what what is stop doing that? I think that's what you say[6:08:30]   addiction is[6:08:32]   It doesn't matter what they think because the object of the admitted whether it's gambling[6:08:37]   They say that because they've admitted addiction that now it's just something they're allowed to struggle with in public[6:08:44]   Chris admitted he was a sex addict. So yeah, he's gonna cheat on his wife and do all these horrible things to girls[6:08:49]   He's struggling sex addict. We told you this[6:08:52]   He's allowed now. No[6:08:56]   No, there's no such thing that question you asked should have been answered with what I screamed you stop doing that[6:09:03]   You either break up with your wife or you stop doing that[6:09:06]   There's no other answer to what do you do?[6:09:09]   If you're 50 years old and have two families and you want to cheat on your second wife[6:09:14]   You don't or you burn it all down. I mean, what kind of a question is that for an adult to ask?[6:09:19]   You should know the answer[6:09:22]   That's like asking. Hey, what would happen if I raped one of Jules's friends just asking for for me[6:09:29]   What does it matter what do you mean what would happen a bad things[6:09:33]   Is there any way out of being able to cheat on your wife? You would have those answers[6:09:38]   Much, but I think I'm addicted to you know, this this other behavior this[6:09:45]   I'm addicted to I can't say no met a lot of men are like this thing. I love my wife[6:09:49]   I love my kids. I love my whole life, but I can't stop banging other chicks, you know[6:09:53]   And they're my girlfriend or my their wife or whatever. What do you say to those people? And what what is that addiction?[6:09:59]   I think for me[6:10:01]   addiction is[6:10:03]   It doesn't matter like what the object of the addiction is whether it's gambling or sex[6:10:09]   Alcohol or you know, whatever it is[6:10:13]   It's a hole that you're trying to fill with something or it's a pain that you're trying to distract yourself from and[6:10:22]   Sex is one way of distracting yourself from it. So what I say to those people is[6:10:28]   you're not going to solve the problem by[6:10:31]   Finding some way of cutting yourself off from the thing that you use to you know punishment[6:10:37]   It's not gonna work. It'll never work. It'll just get hard[6:10:41]   You know[6:10:41]   Even if you cut it off for a few months[6:10:43]   Then the hunger gets deeper and deeper and stronger and stronger because you're not addressing the issue. That's great way the right to[6:10:50]   Enjoy monogamy or enjoy this honesty more than you do this other thing[6:10:55]   Well, or you need to he's struggling find a way to address look like Ty Rivera, right which is therapy[6:11:04]   Psychedelics[6:11:05]   Travel. Oh, yeah, that's where the sex addict should be rewarded with psychedelics[6:11:10]   My wife with 18 underage girls[6:11:14]   so[6:11:15]   party time drug time, right therapy[6:11:20]   Psychedelics only how about my punishment is psychedelics[6:11:24]   pretty fun pretty fair[6:11:28]   Sex guys have figured out. Oh, yeah, it's a psychedelic retreat with chicks. It's a what do they call it?[6:11:33]   concert[6:11:34]   They're going man. Basically the better one the one that's even more psychedelic Shambhala Shambhala[6:11:42]   I'm a sex addict. I have to go to Shambhala to recover with psych substance. He'll help me[6:11:50]   See what have a station with friends[6:11:52]   I mean there are lots of ways that you can do it. But the thing is you need to find what's[6:11:57]   What it is you're distracting yourself from you need to face that that's interesting. I think with a lot of men[6:12:03]   myself included[6:12:05]   We have the perfect life[6:12:08]   He's never drank or done drugs and he has no holes and there's nothing wrong with him[6:12:11]   Chris D'Elia has said that many times then what's wrong with them? Hmm[6:12:14]   So there might be something else going on with my but I mean someone[6:12:19]   Out there listening to the man dragon[6:12:22]   biased by sexual frustration as teenagers[6:12:26]   Where you're 14 years old there you try to give himself cauliflower ear to look tough[6:12:33]   Did he punch himself in the ear and then he had to stop because he said this is crazy[6:12:38]   Why is his ear like this?[6:12:42]   He was probably doing that he'll look like I'm always boxing and sparring. Yeah sparring is what I do[6:12:49]   because of course[6:12:51]   They'll know I don't box but I spar. Oh, yes, you don't spar[6:12:56]   Look at you look at you and you know what we've been finding he's doing and I think you can see this here[6:13:01]   His microphone it might be hard to tell is much slimmer[6:13:06]   than his[6:13:07]   When they're framed up like this[6:13:09]   No, it's wait. No, I'm sorry the opposite the opposite. Sorry. That's what I meant[6:13:13]   His microphone is slimmer than Brian's meaning Brian is either we got a split screen here[6:13:20]   Brian has enlarged himself to look like he is the same size as Chris Ryan who is a much[6:13:28]   Much bigger man[6:13:29]   like if you saw them standing side to side it'd be Brian Callan Chris Ryan and[6:13:34]   You would see the size the mass difference. So they've paid that's probably why they do this cut split screen[6:13:40]   They've pasted him in and then what they do is they paste Brian and they go in large to fit[6:13:46]   You know, it's a standard practice[6:13:49]   That you would probably want to do on TV, but in his case[6:13:55]   illegal[6:13:56]   You're growing that's digital[6:13:59]   Steroids keep playing here for a second. They start getting really who's not a cool 14 year old in the world[6:14:04]   I don't care and the least cool 14[6:14:07]   There's a lesson in this rule right because they don't even know that they're not cool 14 such an interesting age[6:14:13]   But you're horny as a monkey. You're[6:14:16]   crazy about your body is just[6:14:20]   Screaming and you're not gonna get laid, you know for years probably[6:14:25]   and and you're in a position where you're so pathetic and you'll see a woman in a bikini at a pool and[6:14:32]   It's like and she's like a 10 and it's I remember seeing that I was I was I was she was 16[6:14:38]   And I was 14 and I never forgot it and she was white bikini and she you're remembering 16 year olds and bikinis[6:14:48]   You're not allowed to remember a little kid in a bikini, sorry[6:14:52]   But listen to this it gets worse it was while she was like she looked like Jessica Rabbit and she pulled her hair back[6:14:58]   And I was 14. Oh and the water's dripping off her body[6:15:03]   Wait, Chris, he's telling a story about a 16 year old girl not Bo Oh[6:15:10]   Derek phew he's talking about that was a sex symbol once I'm kind of like Peter Griffin[6:15:17]   That was a sex symbol once[6:15:23]   I'm the Peter Griffin of a red bar. You are Wow. Am I the Lois or the Meg?[6:15:32]   Or the Brian the looks of Meg in the annoyance of Lois[6:15:38]   That's very Peter. Peter would say something like that. You see you're more of a Chris. Thank you[6:15:43]   You look like Chris probably the most like people don't understand Jules looks exactly like Chris Griffin[6:15:50]   Especially when she wears the blue[6:15:52]   And I look like Stevie[6:15:55]   Okay, here it is. Watch Chris Ryan[6:15:58]   Remember Brian's talking about a sexy 16 year old getting out of the pool while he was 14 and Chris Ryan forgets[6:16:04]   or does he and it's like and she's like a 10 and it's I remember seeing that I was I was I was[6:16:10]   She was 16 and I was 14[6:16:13]   I never forgot it and she was white bikini and she was well[6:16:18]   She was like she looked like Jessica rabbit and she pulled her hair back and I was 14[6:16:22]   Oh and the water's dripping off her body. I had never seen anything like it. I just I[6:16:28]   Didn't know what to do with myself. I was looking around my buddy. Carl was like, you're right. I go[6:16:34]   Expect a knock on your door from Robin Tran[6:16:37]   We[6:16:40]   Won't allow it[6:16:43]   Should we keep playing here cuz I think he says yeah[6:16:47]   What who is she like who gets to be there? Yeah, I've never forgotten it. I mean, I'm 56[6:16:53]   I've never forgotten it. You know, you you're your 14 year old boy our it's beyond power and she doesn't even know she's got[6:17:00]   She's just hanging out[6:17:01]   Even thinking about sex double D tits and she was like, I mean she was a full-grown woman and I was 40[6:17:07]   I was a fucking[6:17:08]   Stick boy. Wait, dude last night. My she was a full-grown woman. Yeah, you just said she was 60 thought she was 16[6:17:17]   Huge double D's I guarantee you the 16 rather than have double D's and double D's aren't good[6:17:23]   How do you even remember those are joke tits novel TDS is what we used to call them in school[6:17:27]   If you had double D's you were a Spencer's[6:17:30]   gifts[6:17:33]   Greeting card novelty card[6:17:35]   Double D's are like this big in my opinion[6:17:39]   Like double D's are where you're like, hey, hello everybody. You want to throw pies at me for your bachelor party?[6:17:48]   Double D's aren't good[6:17:51]   Okay, you want some A's I like an a an a-plus in school[6:17:57]   And an F in the bra of the kid at school, okay listen to this[6:18:04]   Oh my god, Brian is losing his mind overthinking of this girl to the point where he's man sweating wait[6:18:12]   That's sweat. No, that's fortunate so he can look like more. Yeah. Oh my god, he buys[6:18:19]   Darkened armpit gear. This is kind of like how Tony you're going[6:18:23]   Why is Tony Hinchcliffe wearing like a scuba turtleneck?[6:18:26]   Divers thing under his clothes. Well, it's to hide his gut you see we found out Tony[6:18:32]   And we've got a clip of this from kill Tony Tony. Listen to I'm putting it all together now[6:18:37]   I'm finally figuring these guys out[6:18:39]   Tony has been on TRT male testosterone replacement and[6:18:46]   He has been taking injections in his booty cheek[6:18:51]   David Lucas told me this and he's I'm not kidding. He's been taking injections. And remember we noticed Tony getting this big gut[6:18:58]   Around the same time Tony started getting the gut he's all of a sudden wearing spandex[6:19:03]   slimming skims[6:19:05]   Under every outfit you're telling me in Austin, Texas one of the hottest cities in the world[6:19:11]   Temperature wise about a hundred and six degrees there right now. He needs to be wearing[6:19:16]   Under armor body armor extreme arctic suit sucking him in I[6:19:23]   Have just figured out Brian's doing the same scheme you go. What man would wear this ugly[6:19:28]   Columbia[6:19:30]   You know[6:19:32]   REI[6:19:34]   beta male[6:19:35]   fucking camp[6:19:38]   outdoor activity shirt[6:19:40]   This is like for a guy like in the hiking section. Do you just hike?[6:19:46]   Are you a guy that just hikes but you're more of like a hipster guy that hikes a little overweight[6:19:51]   You could get this and you know why he likes this shirt[6:19:55]   Because he usually sweats right through his shirts out of nervousness and fear and lies[6:20:00]   So he decided I'll get these darkened[6:20:04]   Shirts here where they've got a darkened patch under the thing. It will hide the sweat stains. This has got to be it[6:20:11]   Why else would you wear this men's s?[6:20:17]   Are e I I play it safe no littering[6:20:22]   Save the planet type of shirt. I mean no man should wear this because they not a man's man an emperor a god[6:20:30]   So I think we've caught him there. Let's see a bit more hanging out[6:20:34]   I'm not even thinking about sex double D tits and she was I mean[6:20:37]   She was a full-grown woman and I was 14 and I was a fucking[6:20:41]   Stick boy dude last night my mother. Why are you thinking at 14? You're allowed to be a stick boy[6:20:47]   So you even have passed like all when I was 14. I was a stick. I gotta start eating[6:20:52]   No, that was a long time ago and you were a stick now. I'm[6:20:56]   Bigger than you. I'm much stronger than you and Mark Harley your old assistant has been training me to take you down[6:21:03]   He's giving me every tip[6:21:05]   He never gave you he gave you fake tips so that you wouldn't experience growth in your routines[6:21:11]   He told me everything he laid it out[6:21:14]   Hella mark early said I was telling them all these crazy supplements that would do the opposite muscle shrinkers[6:21:21]   Estrogen I gave them he said he did everything to make these boys tiny[6:21:27]   So that's what you've been played hella mark early's giving me the actual secrets and[6:21:32]   Watch out cuz I'm gonna be towering over you very soon[6:21:36]   And I'm gonna go up to your comedy show. I'm gonna pick you up and take you away. I[6:21:41]   Hope you know that this is what I'm telling everybody listen to this. I[6:21:45]   once I'm huge[6:21:46]   From the workouts. I'm gonna go to Brian Callan show and I'm gonna stand up and I'm gonna go red bars[6:21:52]   Watching and then come up to pick him up like this. He'll be laying there and then I'm gonna run[6:21:59]   Leaping through the city with him and my arms back to my hideout. I[6:22:04]   Didn't say I was gonna do anything illegal[6:22:08]   Holding you as I jump from like building to building[6:22:12]   Running is like 200 miles an hour with you and my arms like this[6:22:18]   And you're screaming you're fucking head up and I'm gonna cry on my chest[6:22:22]   And you can't stop because you're being controlled by an app[6:22:26]   Exactly[6:22:28]   Okay[6:22:30]   We're watching the Super Bowl and my mother said do you remember the Japanese girl who stayed with us when you were 14?[6:22:36]   And she was a high school exchange student. She stayed with[6:22:40]   Okay[6:22:42]   Listen to this student makes me go. Wait, not just any a[6:22:47]   Chinese[6:22:48]   Listen to this. They're talking about how when Chris was a kid now, they're real remembering kid sex fantasies[6:22:55]   to accused[6:22:57]   people[6:22:58]   They're sitting around and he's going when I was a kid. We had a 14 year old Chinese exchange student and Brian goes[6:23:08]   Like he's been hit with a love arrow, you know, he just can't believe it[6:23:11]   Listen to this and watch Brian's expression. We're gonna see this many times. So I was 14 and I was a fucking[6:23:18]   Stick boy, dude last night my mother we were watching the Super Bowl and my mother said do you remember the Japanese girl?[6:23:25]   Who stayed with us when you were 14 and she was a high school exchange student. She stayed with us for a month[6:23:31]   Oh, would that be so hot?[6:23:34]   That's what you do when you're talking about like someone really hot like when I was a kid Pamela Anderson you[6:23:40]   You don't go a 14 year old dick first of all an exchange student is the ugliest girl you can get[6:23:46]   From China[6:23:48]   Could you imagine what this a 1970s Chinese girl 14 looked like[6:23:57]   That's you oh[6:24:01]   Oh, man, I don't know how you didn't just nut[6:24:06]   Let's see this again, this is proof that Brian and you lusts over 14 year old fucking[6:24:11]   Stick boy, dude last night my mother[6:24:14]   We were watching the Super Bowl and my mother said do you remember the Japanese girl who stayed with us when you were 14?[6:24:21]   And she was a high school exchange student. She stayed with us for a month. I said you mean Tomoko Matsuyuki?[6:24:27]   Oh[6:24:29]   Yeah[6:24:34]   Why do they have to be fucking Chinese[6:24:37]   I'm telling you the worst guys steal these Chinese guys these girls[6:24:44]   I'm telling you even I would say an of-age Chinese person is an inappropriate act for you[6:24:49]   Look at how red his face. You mean Terry Aki murder[6:24:52]   In the backseat of my Toyota with your leg spread I let your client I[6:25:02]   Mean that's insane, right?[6:25:07]   He's turning so red[6:25:11]   Okay, you could uh, what's our next code here or do they go on about this change I can't play for two more seconds[6:25:17]   Yeah, I[6:25:19]   Remember Tomoko Matsuyuki every fucking day, man. Yeah. So anyway, I think that we and I'm not blaming anyone traumatized[6:25:27]   We're traumatized. Yeah, and so it's like someone who grows up dirt poor. Yeah, we'll never have enough[6:25:33]   If you're so basically what these guys are saying is because they couldn't get these girls back then[6:25:40]   They need them at that age now[6:25:43]   Is that kind of what's going on here[6:25:45]   I think that might be the key think what happens if you don't have sex with teens all your life like me when you were[6:25:51]   Them as a teen yourself[6:25:54]   You yearn for the teens you go[6:25:57]   I need like a 14 year old cuz I never had sex with see if I've had sex with hundreds of 14 year olds[6:26:03]   When I was 18, wait, I mean when I'm kidding. I haven't[6:26:08]   I've had sex with a lot of 15 year olds when I was[6:26:13]   14 exactly. It was a rape of me[6:26:16]   So, um, I don't need to mess around but those girls those girls I've been there done that they got nothing[6:26:23]   They don't know how to do any moves. This is what they do[6:26:28]   Nice tits, that's what Brian loves but Brian needs that because he never got laid until he was 22[6:26:35]   Really frustrated you suffer that frustration in those years[6:26:40]   You never get enough pussy. You're like, yeah, you know, they're always hungry. No matter it's it's a like erotic obesity or something[6:26:48]   You just can't get enough. So I think[6:26:51]   Chinese kids prestige, you know if you're low status is a great one poverty poverty you like when they're poverty[6:26:59]   Poverty you could get a lot of girls in poverty places[6:27:03]   Iran[6:27:05]   Taiwan he's like one of these guys who learned a little Taiwanese[6:27:08]   Just to be able to get over there and do that what he's got to do, you know fame money like all these things[6:27:14]   Well, it's the humiliation, right?[6:27:16]   Yeah, I think it creates it it creates a misunderstanding[6:27:20]   That if I only had this I'd be happy[6:27:24]   Right and you'd never[6:27:26]   Man, nigga pushing out his bicep[6:27:29]   That's[6:27:32]   What a push-out looks like an under hip you should see when I do an underhand push[6:27:35]   I mean, it's we're talking popeye levels here. This is nothing. This is an able-bodied man. I'm barely in it. I can barely walk[6:27:43]   That's your push-up with your hands muscles. Those are nothing back to the gym[6:27:49]   All right. Do we have another code here? Oh, yeah here they ask more Brian asked more about Chris at this part[6:27:55]   4159 4159 he asks a little bit more about for Krista Leah 4159. We're going there[6:28:05]   4149 there we are children is a[6:28:09]   sexual orientation[6:28:12]   So now we're talking about it's as ingrained in someone is being gay or being straight[6:28:18]   That's that I'm willing to accept that now[6:28:21]   Although the problem is that that's not something that that we can have just running around Oh[6:28:26]   Tell everybody to the reason they do a split-screen. He's sitting about 12 feet from him cuz Brian's scared of kovat. Yeah[6:28:35]   He has his separated and then he does a cut in his split-screen to make it look like they're closed that he's not afraid of[6:28:40]   Kovat it's obvious tell[6:28:42]   Everyone he wears a mask. I've seen it[6:28:46]   So then the question is here got a couple of choices[6:28:49]   Here's the president of some kind whether it's in a hospital into a sex prison into whatever it might be[6:28:56]   Voluntary castration. I don't know if that would work[6:28:59]   or[6:29:01]   Or you just shine all the light on it, you know you you oh wait wait wait, well we got it back[6:29:08]   Yes, 49. What did you say? Just gonna like 41 41 even they're talking about[6:29:15]   Pedophiles, so yeah, I want to hear Chris's take on pedophiles here first[6:29:20]   Our pedophiles out 39 45 actually 30 nail to get it 39 45. Listen to this[6:29:26]   Because these guys think pedophiles should get a break which is weird because isn't he like part of Sam Tripoli's thing[6:29:34]   They hate pedophiles, right?[6:29:36]   But here two guys are talking about our pedophiles should actually there should be some support for them[6:29:41]   39[6:29:42]   45 45 listen to this[6:29:46]   Why in the darkness of repression abuse flourishes?[6:29:51]   So if we want to make the world a safer better place, the first thing we need to do is just be honest[6:29:58]   like in this country[6:30:00]   Part out of this episode. I hope not because all of these all of the right[6:30:05]   But why would I wouldn't write them all down wrong? Okay. Well[6:30:09]   A little bit farther[6:30:11]   Let's skip around in Texas[6:30:15]   Texas we're in a purple scarf right now[6:30:18]   Well, maybe but I think but I certainly you and I grew up when it was actually dangerous to be gay[6:30:23]   I always say this it was dangerous and that's even without counting AIDS, right? That's right. I mean that that's right[6:30:28]   Okay, but I mean that do what you be who gets back to the transparency[6:30:34]   We're talking about in marriage and you know and friendships and all that. It's like I'm this part being ready transcript is hard[6:30:40]   there's nothing that requires more courage than being fucking real and[6:30:45]   Man coming out. This is a big part. Yes, someone raised as a Catholic like Dan Savage tells that story about you know[6:30:53]   Realizing right after this[6:30:56]   Was a really believing Catholic and she called the priest to the house and[6:31:01]   Dan's upstairs in his room and his mom and the priest are sitting on the porch swing[6:31:06]   Talking and she says father, you know, Dan came to me and he said he loves men[6:31:12]   and I don't know what to do and it's a sin and God won't love him and all this and the priest said[6:31:19]   I've never told anyone this but I love men as well and I admire Dan for having the courage to[6:31:26]   Acknowledge that going into the priesthood[6:31:28]   Yeah, right instead of like trying to cut your dick off which as you said doesn't fucking work[6:31:35]   So then you end up you meet another priest who's in the same thing and you alter boys or an ultimate[6:31:40]   That's right. That's why the darkness of repression[6:31:44]   abuse flourishes[6:31:46]   So if we want to make the world a safer better place, the first thing we need to do is just be honest[6:31:53]   like in this country[6:31:55]   There you go[6:31:56]   Listen to this if you tell a therapist that you're sexually attracted to kids[6:32:02]   The therapist has to turn you in I was just talking about this fuck[6:32:05]   I was just talking about that like you're asking for help to not hurt someone[6:32:10]   Yeah, and they need you can't really legally ask for psychological. That's right[6:32:15]   It goes out there was this guy was making like sex dolls that were children and it was like the guy was like, yeah[6:32:21]   I'd rather them fuck this is[6:32:24]   Awful, but I'd rather them do this then with a real child, you know, and I think you're right[6:32:28]   That's the that's the fast start a kid sex doll business interesting. That's kind of what I heard[6:32:34]   dicey listen dicey[6:32:36]   Conversation about around pedophilia. The idea is we all agree. Let's all agree on one thing[6:32:42]   It's I got three kids. It's the ultimate evil[6:32:46]   Like the only thing to get me to cut your fucking head off. Yes, if you do that to my kid[6:32:51]   Right god forbid god for fucking bit but but we want to stop it right we want to make it less so[6:32:58]   There are pedophiles out there that have this crazy compulsion. They think it might be something neurological[6:33:04]   Maybe there's something in your fucking brain, right? Whatever it is virtually all of them were abused as kids whatever the case[6:33:10]   I don't know but but but um, I haven't gotten into the literature of it[6:33:13]   But oh we know that they exist and we know it's a compulsion and we know that a lot of them[6:33:19]   Would rather not have this sickness[6:33:22]   Yeah, so is there anywhere for them to go where you're right if you go to a therapist?[6:33:28]   They are legally obligated to go to the police and now you go to jail. So no, no, no[6:33:32]   You just get put on the list first[6:33:35]   Until you do stop to the kids. They just go. Oh, you're a a[6:33:39]   Pedophile they can't help himself. Yes, they should be on a list[6:33:43]   If somebody tells us there I'm a pedophile and I just don't know what I'll do. Yes, please[6:33:49]   list, um[6:33:51]   No ayahuasca and if you're such a great guy, you should be happy to be on the list exactly. Okay[6:33:57]   What do you do voluntary castration suicide? Okay, but is there another thing?[6:34:03]   yeah, and also a lot of sexologists and psychologists have come to the conclusion that[6:34:11]   Sexual attraction to prepubescent[6:34:14]   children is a[6:34:16]   sexual orientation[6:34:18]   So now we're talking about it's as ingrained in someone is being gay or being straight[6:34:24]   That's that I'm willing to accept that now though[6:34:28]   The problem is that that's not something that that we can have just running around unchecked. So why does it need to be unchecked?[6:34:34]   I don't understand[6:34:36]   Let's say you're a giant fat slob, right? You've never been with a girl you love girls[6:34:41]   You jack off to the pictures all the time. You're not gonna go out and just rape some girl[6:34:45]   So what's the raping part I understand you have a sexual attraction to kids what makes you do the rape[6:34:52]   See Brian understands the rape part he does[6:34:56]   Attraction to someone sorry, it has to be done. Well, I don't understand pedophiles aren't really pedophiles. They're just rapists of kids[6:35:06]   There's nothing wrong with thinking about[6:35:09]   Kids all day long in your head. Just don't go near them. Yeah, don't look at them[6:35:15]   you know if you knew it was that wrong believe me if I knew that looking at[6:35:22]   Her name Victoria a fuller was wrong. Trust me[6:35:27]   I'd be closing that app. All right. Do we have any other codes from this?[6:35:30]   You can do one hour on the dot one hour on the dot here[6:35:35]   It is the last code from Brian and Ryan[6:35:38]   their new podcast sex prison[6:35:41]   Coming out soon. Here. They are. Let's hear from them again. We'll use that[6:35:46]   Chris I gotta go do another podcast, but I'm sure sure[6:35:51]   I just I'm just one of your podcasts today. I just want how many podcasts you doing today fighter and the kid[6:35:58]   What's the name of this one Brian Callan show every time I meet you you're doing a different podcast[6:36:02]   Are you trying to every time I meet you doing a different? Let's see[6:36:07]   Brian's face when he is met with that[6:36:11]   Cuz you know, that's not what he wants to be doing today. I just want how many podcasts you doing today fighter and the kid[6:36:18]   What's the name of this one Brian Callan show every time I meet you you're doing a different podcast[6:36:22]   Are you trying to lose your audience? You're trying to make it hard for them to find you[6:36:26]   It's actually happening to 85[6:36:30]   We'll take a break. I got a song for you. We'll take a break. We'll be right back on red bar[6:36:40]   You[6:37:10]   Oh[6:37:40]   Yeah[6:38:10]   Oh[6:38:40]   Oh[6:39:10]   Oh[6:39:40]   That would be nice welcome back everybody[6:39:54]   Welcome back everybody to red bar. We actually had one more piece of Brian Callan[6:39:58]   We've wanted to show you before getting into uncle laser. It is your turn uncle laser to come on down[6:40:05]   You guys have heard of this uncle laser right from[6:40:08]   Kill Tony wait, so you see him. I'm sure you've seen this guy around got a big problem with him[6:40:13]   I've got this little clip just a quick one. I wanted to show you here[6:40:17]   this is um[6:40:20]   Sam Tripoli and Brian Callan our final Callan clip here today. Let's see if I can blow this up somehow[6:40:27]   Hopefully it won't be muted. Let's find out[6:40:30]   There is the battle between the flesh and the spirit[6:40:33]   There are 14 year olds who walk into a room who are who have matured to a degree where there are older men that are[6:40:40]   Interested but we know that's not allowed[6:40:43]   There is the battle between the flesh and the spirit the battle between the flesh and the spirit when he sees a 14 year old girl[6:40:51]   He wants the flesh but his spirit tells him no you heard it. I'll play it one more time[6:40:57]   There are 14 year olds who walk into a room who are who have matured to a degree where there are older men that are[6:41:04]   Interested but we know that's not allowed. There is the battle between the flesh and the spirit[6:41:11]   Not me I don't have a battle with any spirits it well actually some demons[6:41:16]   some real goes[6:41:18]   Uncle laser come on down[6:41:21]   I've been dying to to go over uncle laser. We might have seen him a few times[6:41:26]   He's the guy who goes Oh Tony I come I work from the oil fields I[6:41:31]   Steal William Montgomery's act but nobody's really paying attention at it. I[6:41:37]   Wait, do you see him here uncle laser just great because[6:41:41]   Tony has been pumping this guy some fun right now[6:41:45]   Yeah, the best for some reason Tony gets a hand[6:41:48]   This is from kill Tony and what happens is Tony has these regulars and what I'll do is he'll see some complete loser go up[6:41:55]   And do this much better[6:41:58]   Than the guy who was just a complete total bore bomb loser and Tony will go[6:42:04]   how would you like to become a wrangler of my show, but you would have to work under me, of course and[6:42:10]   Then he takes these guys and for six years he forces them down our throats until they just become[6:42:17]   something because if you show[6:42:21]   You know[6:42:22]   Sarah wine shank or Kim Congdon[6:42:25]   To enough people they start creeping in and then all of a sudden she's on gas digital and then it explodes[6:42:30]   But does Kim Congdon deserve to be on anything? No[6:42:35]   So that's what Tony does and he's trying to do that with this uncle laser[6:42:39]   he's trying to force him down our throats with the reddit says no, I[6:42:43]   Say no me and the reddit align[6:42:46]   Wow[6:42:48]   Not the t-fact reddit. This is a different reddit to kill Tony reddit, which I'm very popular over there more popular than Tony[6:42:55]   uh[6:42:57]   you've got[6:43:00]   What are you 12, what's this guy's name Jim Florentine who is just completely given up[6:43:06]   You've got Eddie Pepitone who should have not been there. This is a white male[6:43:12]   Liberal, this is guy like hangs out with like Sarah Silverman Cameron Esposito and Michael Ian black[6:43:18]   He should have not been on kill Tony. He sat there during all the races, you know[6:43:21]   So[6:43:24]   He couldn't wait to get out of there barely said two words then you've got punky Johnson[6:43:31]   She's about as dumb as she looks not saying anything racist[6:43:36]   she's very stupid and then of course, you've got Tony and[6:43:42]   The best guy on the show ever red band looking cute look at see how happy he is the pause tells all[6:43:48]   Me to be here Michael[6:43:50]   There he is and we're gonna introduce you. Oh, I love this guy D blaze[6:43:56]   John Dees, let's see if I can name him. Oh John Dees[6:44:02]   Behind him, of course is D madness Luke Gregory and of course[6:44:10]   Aubrey Drake[6:44:12]   Odell[6:44:14]   Okay, let's see here's uncle laser Clint Parker everybody there he goes[6:44:19]   You guys want to do something fun right now?[6:44:22]   You want to sage this room with some fucking crazy energy right now?[6:44:27]   This is perfect to bring up sage and smudging. I just learned why they use sage for smudging, you know when they light this stuff[6:44:34]   You know, they'll light this[6:44:36]   sage[6:44:37]   Conveniently bundled up in a lightable herb that perfectly I don't know smudges[6:44:44]   So which came first the getting rid of the spirit or the fact that this particular herb just happened to be the perfect[6:44:52]   smoking herb[6:44:54]   You know what? I mean? I[6:44:56]   Think maybe sage is only being used because somebody shot light on fire once and it started[6:45:03]   Letting out smoke in a nice controlled clean manner and they go this would be perfect till I kind of do this around the house[6:45:10]   We[6:45:12]   Could call it smudge it could be for getting a evil spirits out or something[6:45:18]   Really or did it just burn pretty good, you know[6:45:21]   Like what if the only way to get evil spirits out was like to cover the whole house in kerosene?[6:45:26]   You know, why couldn't have been kerosene the chemical that gets rid of ghosts. Of course, it's simple[6:45:33]   We're pretty fucking lucky that just sage[6:45:37]   Doesn't even shut off the smoke alarms. We're very lucky that this one smoking herb the one that smells pleasant the one that's[6:45:46]   Easily held in the hand[6:45:48]   You know could have been anything so that's just about sage. But here it is. It's Tony. He's going to be[6:45:54]   You know, and he's pushing this uncle laser. He brings him up the incredible. He never fails[6:46:00]   Prepare to be blown away and it's like imagine that much pressure if you were being brought up by somebody like that[6:46:06]   He never bombs one of the top[6:46:09]   rising regulars[6:46:10]   according to me[6:46:12]   The guys are fuck man. Don't do this to me. Watch this[6:46:16]   Well, then I have a special treat for you[6:46:18]   We have a friend of this show and a friend who got into the comedy game six or seven months ago and is[6:46:26]   absolutely[6:46:27]   crushing I[6:46:29]   Love this everyone hates him online character[6:46:32]   Ladies and gentlemen, make some noise for the great uncle laser everybody[6:46:39]   There he is, oh, he's so full of shit Wow[6:46:46]   Such a phony. It's really him[6:46:57]   Listen here now[6:46:59]   I've been saying it for a while. Nobody's been seemed to be paying attention[6:47:04]   The season of the witch is upon us fellas[6:47:08]   If the little chubby fat-eyed fucking gothic girl at your workplace can give you the friendly eyes as of late don't do it[6:47:14]   It's a fucking trap[6:47:17]   How do I know that when I'm fixing to fucking tell you I hooked up with one of these horoscope bitches a while back[6:47:25]   She was a cancer[6:47:27]   Not in a horoscope since she was a literal fucking cancer cuz she was trying to kill me[6:47:33]   She was into butt stuff[6:47:36]   Which I'm into butt stuff[6:47:38]   But she was not gentle by any means[6:47:42]   She started off touching my butthole with her thumb like she was priming a lawnmower[6:47:48]   Then it turned into a hairbrush handle[6:47:50]   And then she reached under her bed and she grabbed a fucking[6:47:55]   Christmas tree ornament string of fucking steel balls[6:47:59]   And she jammed him in there packed tightly and she started starting that fucking lawnmower[6:48:06]   I got to get my prostate check daily now John because there's anything wrong with me. It's the only way I know how to come[6:48:20]   You have been uncle lasered everybody. I mean coming in[6:48:25]   Tag tag tag punch punch punch tag tag[6:48:29]   Who gives a shit just doing the goddamn thing? I absolutely like tag tag tag punch punch[6:48:36]   It's like it's like it was just a guy ran. That was horrible. And is there more where Punky Johnson gets[6:48:44]   Hurt by this or do I keep playing here here? There was one good part of her[6:48:48]   I can find one sec or do I keep playing from here or was who gives a shit?[6:48:53]   Thing I[6:48:55]   Absolutely. Love it. It is unbelievable. You're doing it. I'm trying. Yeah. Yeah. Hey got no job no more[6:49:02]   We got figured the fuck out. He left his[6:49:06]   Extremely well-paying job out in the oil fields to fucking come take[6:49:12]   Literally been it's been a couple weeks since we've seen you[6:49:14]   Yeah, and you have been doing a bunch of crazy shit you got a bunch of internet fucking it yeah, yeah[6:49:21]   couple shows I[6:49:23]   Actually got casted in a commercial. Uh-huh. You got cast in a commercial. Yeah. Yeah. I'm here to help you uncle lazy[6:49:29]   You didn't get casted whatever it is. I signed up and they pulled my name from the bucket. You got damn, right?[6:49:36]   Goddamn right funky is not enjoying the vagus seal commercial because everybody likes a healthy and happy vagina[6:49:43]   That way you're gonna do it. That's exactly what I'm doing. That's why we're the sunglasses for a dramatic effect[6:49:48]   I'm taking acting classes, too. They're not going well[6:49:53]   Jim Florentine, what do you think about uncle laser? I just love looking at Punkie's face the whole time. She's fucking horrified[6:50:00]   Okay, I'm trying to lose my virginity to you later, darling[6:50:03]   I'm into chicks, too[6:50:07]   Scissor me fucking timbers, you know what I'm saying?[6:50:10]   He's[6:50:11]   Got the lesbian hair[6:50:14]   Out here looking like a bulldog lunch lady, come on, baby you take me for a ride[6:50:20]   Punky does not know what to do to you right now. I've never seen her this bewildered before[6:50:27]   Put it in speechless. Just wait till we entanglement[6:50:31]   I[6:50:37]   Don't know what the fuck you've been talking about[6:50:42]   No other reason I you know, I get the cancer shit these hoses out here toxic I get it. Yes. She knows[6:50:49]   But yeah, you lost me with the butt stuff man. You love you of all people. I lost it with the butt stuff[6:50:56]   You got a do-rag and a beanie on and you lost it at the butt stuff[6:51:01]   I'm a dyke. I'm a dyke. Do you understand what dykes do?[6:51:05]   Okay. Anyway, they do they do dyke shit. Yeah[6:51:10]   They don't do but stuff[6:51:12]   That the other gays when you said you put that's the other gays that do that[6:51:16]   Well, isn't there a bombing coming up or was that the bombing that was loving Oh[6:51:21]   White bombing from uncle later. I was expecting there to be some brutal meltdown here. We here watch the next one[6:51:28]   What's the next code but what's the next code, uh, wait go to the next link or the next link, okay[6:51:37]   755 let's see this that was ladies and gentlemen, we have a special treat for you this young man[6:51:43]   Not a regular but someone that we have been following very very closely. We love to get him up here[6:51:48]   We love to see what he's working on[6:51:50]   He's only been doing stand-up six months and he is a fucking sensation[6:51:55]   One of the great entertainers as Texas as it gets make some noise for our dear uncle laser everyone[6:52:02]   Here comes this complete[6:52:07]   Serious play into the camera[6:52:09]   It's unbelievable[6:52:12]   This guy gets it, you know[6:52:14]   I really wanted to get this to get out there because there was a exchange[6:52:18]   I thought that's what we had clipped the parts of him copying William Montgomery. That's an oh that's coming to this one[6:52:24]   I want that out there cuz I don't think William and I know William knows Williams worked very hard to perfect this whatever he's doing[6:52:31]   And now uncle lasers been hanging out in the same bar[6:52:34]   All of sudden uncle lasers kind of the new William doing the same kind of yelling[6:52:38]   I know that William must be picking up on that. So we need to nudge William[6:52:44]   William, you know this uncle lasers biting you speaking of that. Let's check in on our Philip DeFranco[6:52:51]   Contest here and right after this uncle laser[6:52:55]   William Montgomery[6:52:57]   copycat clip[6:52:58]   Slash bombing. We're gonna go over[6:53:01]   The comments that you guys submitted to Philip DeFranco, you know, you're gonna have to screenshot this for me as I am banned[6:53:08]   From Philip DeFranco. I've been banned by him this white shot some yeah screenshot some of the best ones and we'll go over those[6:53:14]   We're gonna pick a winner you're getting a hundred bucks for who could have made fun of Philly D the best[6:53:19]   So you go over those while I play them[6:53:22]   This has arrived here. He comes ladies and gentlemen, Texas is home[6:53:32]   Listen here. I've been called a lot of things in my life. But as of late on the internet, they're calling me the poster child for cocaine[6:53:41]   You see my mama gets on the internet she says hey[6:53:45]   Darling they're saying you're doing all these drugs. So I said mama I'm gonna quit so I'm giving up cocaine[6:53:52]   But spring and summers coming so we'll see you know, but cocaine is a terrible drug[6:53:58]   Let me tell you why you see I'm saying[6:54:00]   As soon as you take that first drink of beer you want to go in that bathroom with your best friends and sniff them fucking[6:54:05]   Keys, am I right? It just feels right. That's what we want to fucking do[6:54:09]   But then a couple hours later at six o'clock in the morning you got a fucking stranger's house and it's fucking garage[6:54:17]   Talking about God and politics with the dude that does uber eats[6:54:21]   okay, and then[6:54:23]   There's some soft chubby six that's been staring at you all night and you're fixing to layer down on that[6:54:29]   Stranger's beanbag chair and give her the old dickens[6:54:32]   The only problem is you can't get your dick hard because that cocaine has fucked you up[6:54:37]   And you tell her listen darling. I swear to God this never happens, but it does all the time[6:54:43]   Every single fucking time it happens[6:54:48]   He never used God you got eat your fucking heart out William an unstoppable force in the absolute, Texas[6:54:55]   Let's get that out there. This will trip up this uncle laser[6:54:58]   I know a lot of people hate him out there a lot of people been trying to find an in the in is this stealing[6:55:03]   From William Montgomery get that in wills here. Let's create this rift. All right, we're gonna go up our over our Philip DeFranco[6:55:11]   Insults from h3 fans. I'm dying to see this. Here's something I've been able to find so far[6:55:16]   So the contest might also be about the luck of the draw. Oh, okay. Why is this a big commented?[6:55:23]   Instagram there a few comments, but and he might have been deleting. Oh, we didn't think of that[6:55:28]   We didn't think there's enough to choose from. Okay. Yeah, send him over. Here we go[6:55:34]   Let me drag these over here. We're gonna save[6:55:38]   save photos[6:55:40]   Okay, it says they're saved[6:55:43]   Doing here. Let's see. They're saying okay. Let's just open them up. Let's find out where they've gone[6:55:49]   Hey downloads[6:55:53]   Open finder, okay[6:55:58]   Documents desktop[6:56:00]   I don't know where the hell they're safe in these photos. I've looked at downloads[6:56:09]   Documents desktop, I mean they can't be in applications[6:56:14]   Sorry, okay, I've got barely anything on here let's try this again. Oh[6:56:20]   It's doing something weird[6:56:22]   How do you save all five?[6:56:24]   Oh[6:56:27]   Hey, hold on we're getting closer. Sorry. This is a Apple Macintosh[6:56:31]   No, how do you use this thing? Oh, I'm dragging over some photos here some screenshots from a messaging app and[6:56:40]   We'll see what we got. It looks like we got a nice[6:56:43]   Selection here. Okay. So remember we saw that Philip DeFranco was very insecure about his weight[6:56:49]   So we figured we'd send some people over there to his Instagram to make this a little harder for him[6:56:54]   We're gonna give $100 to the funniest one. Okay, so let's read through some of these and these are all the ones you're submitting to me[6:56:59]   here five[6:57:01]   Yeah, but there's more than one in each comment in each screenshot. Okay. Okay. All right, here we go. This is from Zander Mac[6:57:07]   Okay, Zander says hey Phil, let's get some[6:57:11]   Nice tuba walking music there. Hey Phil huge fan[6:57:15]   Ethan Klein skinny compared to you[6:57:18]   Mentioned how you're doughy like a ham sandwich[6:57:21]   You think he was talking about your weight or was it a metaphor for you and your wife birthing two kids?[6:57:27]   Who will never amount to anything?[6:57:33]   Due to their poor genetics[6:57:37]   Lack of chromosomes and morbidly obese father with dyed hair and vile fake teeth[6:57:44]   Thanks, very good[6:57:46]   very good comment[6:57:48]   But here's the mess next one. This is from Davante where Shawn he says and this is a black guy[6:57:53]   So I'm allowed to say this he goes this nigga got a waist trainer[6:57:58]   hashtag h3[6:58:00]   This nigga got a waist trainer[6:58:03]   Hashtag h3 very funny. All right, let's open up another one of these. Those were both very good[6:58:08]   Very proud of those so far. Okay, let's read some more here. I[6:58:15]   Hey the h3 guy called you ham and cheese croissants or something. He's not totally off[6:58:22]   Okay, give him a little scare there. I like that. There's another one from the wrong warp to[6:58:28]   He says Ethan Klein was right. You've been gaining a lot of weight Philip good for you[6:58:33]   The skinny look was boring[6:58:36]   Remember this guy got offended only simply because Ethan said he was doughy[6:58:40]   That was it[6:58:42]   There's another one. Good job, man. I could barely see your man pouch through the jeans[6:58:46]   It's a shame you can't breastfeed your kids anymore with those udders, but I'm sure they'll manage[6:58:53]   though[6:58:55]   Kids sucking on his tits. I like involving the children. I didn't ask for that[6:58:59]   I can't tell you to involve the kids, but it's very funny to me[6:59:03]   When his kids are involved. Here's another one. Damn[6:59:06]   It doesn't take you wearing dough white to notice that Ethan don't miss. Okay[6:59:14]   Here's Kevin for Ghouli, hey Philip, I'm an h3 fan and I heard you talking shit about Ethan make no mistake[6:59:21]   You're a doughy piece of shit and you will never be as talented as Ethan Klein[6:59:27]   Now use those fake teeth of yours to go eat something. I know you have a piece of pizza there somewhere. Yep[6:59:33]   That old I know I got a piece of pizza around here somewhere weird Al[6:59:38]   There's another one h3 army Ethan's watching. Oh[6:59:42]   You know Philip is gonna have quite the tantrum tonight. Believe me. Was that slide number three that I just showed[6:59:48]   I think so. Okay, so here's number four[6:59:51]   coming up[6:59:53]   More comments against Philip DeFranco after he panicked. These are from Ethan not us Ethan, of course[6:59:59]   I just see head and pants. Where is your torso? Oh body related question there. There's another one from Flying Dutchman[7:00:07]   Ethan wants to know why you're sucking in your gut in these photos also obviously Photoshop[7:00:13]   Why the image reversal is obvious? Okay. Nice one[7:00:17]   Here's coffee and cats Ethan Klein is my favorite podcaster. He cracks me the fuck up. He keeps talking about how the TGI Friday show[7:00:26]   Sure, he keeps talking about how TGI Friday's should name their new $10 sandwich after you and call it the Philly ham and cheese[7:00:35]   steak DeFran[7:00:37]   very nice[7:00:39]   Now remember these don't seem harsh, but to him these are the most[7:00:43]   Horrible things he could ever hear[7:00:48]   Okay, let's read these[7:00:50]   Ethan Klein has this inside joke with us listeners on h3[7:00:54]   How you're his favorite plus size model and says fat chick shouldn't wear white. I guess he was wearing white in the picture. Okay[7:01:02]   Forever 51 and here's the last one[7:01:05]   Two before pics why follow Gila for workout tips dough boy[7:01:11]   H3 for life h3 hate mob h3, okay[7:01:15]   Were there any more that you found in there that I mean this one looks like it's going to Xander[7:01:19]   But we can't possibly be giving Xander prize money. He's too inside[7:01:24]   I know it would look wrong if Xander can't keep winning everything here[7:01:27]   So Xander has forfeited his prize to the second best winner picked by yourselves out of here tomorrow behind my back[7:01:35]   I don't want to be involved you choose[7:01:38]   You could elect the winner in the bring-back group, but he will receive the hundred. None of those are worth my money[7:01:44]   We'll take a break. We'll be right back. See you soon[7:01:49]   Oh[7:02:19]   Oh[7:02:41]   What you got is so not Agra make a young nigga straight need Viagra[7:02:46]   Make an old nigga give keys to Jaguar just to keep from all the teas and laughter[7:02:51]   Telling the home girls that he couldn't stay up in the restaurant with a voice way up[7:02:56]   Please keep it discreet keep the business out of the street[7:02:58]   She said I would have been handled is up in the sheets pop up like the same thing[7:03:03]   He keep keep and every time that she bang bang he ski ski and he's so bullheaded tried to three-peat try[7:03:10]   Imagining something passionate between you Cassie and Kim Kardashian[7:03:14]   Maybe that'll work when you get to hit that ass again[7:03:17]   Or you could grab a Red Bull and sip that twice now y'all can have sexy time. It's nice[7:03:40]   Stay[7:03:43]   Man this classic call the National Geographic[7:03:47]   Ass is African, but I so Asian plus the waist in times of wasting. There's some good pussy dog[7:03:53]   Please don't waste it. You said fuck that man[7:03:56]   I'm gonna tape it and came for you belly even get to tape and she had the maid[7:04:02]   And I know a friend of get drunk and claim a fat bitch, right?[7:04:05]   I heard that bitch hate me and she covers up a class[7:04:08]   But she loves to show her girls like son I lay them and she throwing passes like Troy[7:04:12]   Eggman and she really in the twist the facts like false statements[7:04:16]   He's in the twisting max by throwing his way in but she ain't waiting for him to rise through the occasion[7:04:21]   He's like be patient. This is a contact sport. So you can say[7:04:38]   Thank you[7:05:08]   Me[7:05:38]   Oh[7:06:05]   Thank you[7:06:08]   Oh[7:06:38]   Okay[7:07:08]   Oh[7:07:38]   Oh[7:08:08]   Oh[7:08:38]   Oh[7:09:08]   Oh[7:09:38]   Oh[7:10:08]   Oh[7:10:38]   You[7:11:08]   You