redbar.watch

episode: RED BAR RADIO S20 E26

mentions

transcript

[0:00:00]   It's recording. That's really cool. Everyone take your places.[0:00:06]   Here we go.[0:32:00]   .[0:32:05]   .[0:32:10]   .[0:32:15]   .[0:32:20]   .[0:32:25]   bleeping out his swears and then bitching about cancel culture put a bullet in his head a live round[0:32:33]   you know tucker carlson reached out to me to be on this documentary the death of comedy[0:32:37]   i said i'd rather have a regular death than to be involved in your fake death of comedy[0:32:43]   i'm on here saying the damnedest things everybody in your uh your documentary the death of comedy[0:32:50]   yet ari shafir sit in wait till you see ari shafir wait till you see louis j gomez[0:32:57]   they don't say shit these guys the worst thing they ever said is oh coby bern got hit in the[0:33:01]   head with a helicopter blade oh oh oh yeah i'm so shocked i gotta lower that at work please you[0:33:09]   ever heard red bar you know and it shouldn't be that red bar is saying the worst things online[0:33:18]   i mean i got the worst song in the world n bop uh k all the g's k all the g's i mean every red[0:33:28]   bar episode says worse stuff than any other thing that's out there complaining about so why is it[0:33:35]   able to happen why am i able to just say it and there's no problems nobody's complaining nobody's[0:33:41]   mad why am i able to do it but everybody else is being held down shackled to the cancel culture[0:33:51]   i i just don't understand it just come on and say whatever you want[0:33:55]   uh we'll show you that later wait till you see what ari shafir has done oh boy ari[0:34:02]   the amazing racist that was 20 years ago it's 20 years ago the amazing racist he hasn't said[0:34:08]   anything offensive in seven years i mean the most offensive thing he did was do that stupid coby[0:34:13]   brian joke on twitter but it wasn't even really offensive it was just black people really liked[0:34:21]   coby and how could you say that to a bunch of blacks in the public you know it's crazy to say[0:34:26]   they're gonna come and get you and then what did he do did he stand his ground no he hid for about[0:34:33]   a year he hid so when you see ari shafir and tuckel carlson's documentary remember the year[0:34:40]   of hiding that he did after his offensive joke because he was afraid to get beat up by blacks[0:34:46]   don't don't forget that so he's not sticking it to the man i'm sticking it to the man i'm the[0:34:54]   only one sticking it to this man and i don't sit around and whine about it so thank you very much[0:35:01]   for noticing that about me and thank you very much for understanding that this is really all[0:35:05]   you got here everybody else is full of it they really shouldn't be on tv well welcome to red[0:35:11]   bar that was just a fraction a very small very dust particle of the intro of course and now we've[0:35:19]   got an excellent show would you like to see my mother klein struggling around the damn basement[0:35:26]   with weights everywhere i think you wouldn't[0:35:30]   hell yeah if i could sing like rihanna i would go up to hela klein and i would scream that[0:35:35]   song in her face till she fucking melted into bone skeleton by the way my if you want to get[0:35:41]   me a present for my birthday hela klein skeleton yep no skin no blood i want that thing whitened[0:35:50]   too did you know you could use you could use white strips colgate crest white strips on a[0:35:57]   skeleton to make it better nobody does this they give me these skeletons and they're all dingy[0:36:05]   use i mean they said bones or teeth so why aren't they using whitening creams on skeletons i want[0:36:15]   my skeleton white and hela klein skeleton is very very very stained stained dysfunction[0:36:24]   is the name of the album all right uh let's do a rise huh can i get a rise out of you guys songs[0:36:30]   for show songs for show all right guys look at the tv don't look at me and uh one two three rise[0:36:45]   look at this comes out of the ground[0:36:50]   rise rise rise rise it's a surprise you're dealing with my rise guys rise[0:37:05]   don't have that die by the way i can't stand obese people this week and i can't stand the thin[0:37:16]   uh i have now gained 7.3 pounds of muscle in three months about three months we've got 7.3[0:37:28]   pounds of muscle mass come this summer i'm gonna wear a short sleeve shirt and you will not believe[0:37:37]   the progress you will not believe the body uh that i've sculpted i'm making jules workout[0:37:46]   we're sculpting her body you thought it was going to be the opposite you thought we were[0:37:50]   going to be too rotund big double chinned fat slobs you were wrong we're strong we're bigger[0:38:00]   than we ever thought we were going to be we're nice we're evened out and our hormone levels are[0:38:08]   something that the doctor would shout and say perfect about thank you and thank you for sticking[0:38:16]   with me through all my sicknesses okay this is going to be a great great great great experience[0:38:23]   as we watch hela klein workout you know i've been blocked by hela klein on instagram so it really is[0:38:29]   up to you guys to post these workouts in the bbg i yell at her every day you know there's someone[0:38:35]   with girls they don't really want to pick on other girls as much as i do it's not that we don't want[0:38:40]   to i think it's like unbecoming it's unbecoming girl like when you hear a girl shitting on another[0:38:45]   girl it's like oh yeah we don't want you to come off like it's some sort of april exactly so i just[0:38:51]   want to you know what i mean so yeah jules doesn't want to be like tacky where she's making fun of[0:38:56]   other women because then it makes you look insecure i just don't think it i've never heard a girl[0:39:00]   unless you're like really it's like a certain case whenever you hear girls shitting on another girl[0:39:05]   aren't you like okay no i love it i love any type of human negativity and i really do i like um the[0:39:13]   negative i like people ripping other people down you know what one of my favorite things is i[0:39:18]   realized this week and i hope you guys could enjoy this one here's one of my favorite things in life[0:39:24]   you know you're listening to tom cigar and burt christ you're talking about life huh[0:39:28]   well listen to this one of my favorite things in life is when someone realizes someone they liked[0:39:37]   sucks i love this i love watching like imagine here's just a random example[0:39:43]   you know how everybody loves mr beast well imagine if they all started realizing he sucks[0:39:50]   oh that's where i like when someone else realizes their best friend or somebody that they liked is[0:39:56]   a fraud and then they start ripping on them that's what i want everybody to finally get to[0:40:03]   is anybody you say oh i love this guy you don't love them they're lying let's start making fun[0:40:09]   of them that's where i want everybody to be okay and i've discovered that that's what i like about[0:40:15]   people the most one the the moment when somebody realizes someone they liked sucks and now they[0:40:22]   start ripping on them with a friend and there's nothing more bonding than ripping on someone[0:40:30]   ripping on a friend like say you go out with four people right you come home if you don't[0:40:36]   immediately start talking about all the terrible things that those other two people did i don't[0:40:41]   know what kind of life you're living you know the the only reason you should be going out with[0:40:45]   anybody is to study what they're doing wrong and then report back to the only person that you like[0:40:50]   and then you know get it built up in your head so much that you can't even go out with them again[0:40:55]   how you can even look at them in the eye because you've been talking so much shit and that's where[0:40:59]   you should be you should have one friend and everybody else you make fun of and find their[0:41:05]   flaws and anybody who tells you different and that you should be nice everybody they're lying[0:41:11]   to you and they're trying to take money okay all right let's watch hela klein she's been working[0:41:16]   out this is my favorite sub this is why i open the show with this because this i know is it's[0:41:21]   going to light the place up this is like if hans kim was my this is the hans kim segment of red[0:41:27]   bar watching hela work out and that's a sarcastic diss on both of them all right let's see where[0:41:35]   is hela where's my next step hela next oh next step next up hela workout part two and there's[0:41:41]   actually two videos would ever do a race against me i if you ever run in a race let's put a bag[0:41:49]   overhead with holes in it it's a luxury bag i want to put a bag over hela's head a luxury uh[0:42:01]   powder bag it's a gift it's a gift not overhead like over you know and she's wearing it on her[0:42:07]   side you see you can't catch me all right here she is this was posted by james estrada[0:42:17]   and thank you for as soon as she's working out you post it and i hope you're following[0:42:22]   her trainer too is videotaping all this stuff why if you don't understand me or her doing this to[0:42:27]   her wait till you meet the trainer wait till you meet the trainer tc trainer jesus estrada tells[0:42:34]   me new fitness video from the queen hela i'm pretty sure my toddler has the same workout[0:42:41]   retail jesus has a toddler of course these people okay jesus estrada he posts this now please just[0:42:50]   let me view this i know i don't care if this is up your alley or not i want to view this for about[0:42:54]   two hours is that okay with everybody is that too long i'm just it's gonna be about 20 minutes 25[0:43:01]   maybe an hour okay here it is i gotta do three clicks hold on okay hold on we're clicking we're[0:43:08]   clicking how's that mute looking okay we're gonna blow it up stop it i didn't say autoplay and give[0:43:13]   them a free view okay this is klein hela instagram progress okay let's turn this job oh isn't this[0:43:22]   the best aren't you so glad we're watching helo working out right now who's with me that this is[0:43:28]   all we actually need on the show and nothing else they say the less supplements the better it makes[0:43:34]   me so stressed out honestly why just the way she holds things oh okay i thought you meant you were[0:43:42]   afraid that hela was gonna sue or something i mean if there's anything about helo that you can[0:43:47]   honestly make fun of it's this yes right well to me hela klein is the funniest retard to make fun[0:43:53]   of in the world you know is she retarded that's the question is hela klein retarded or is she[0:44:01]   have an accent i don't care the the character of hela klein to me is so good you know where you[0:44:08]   would uh and even you nerds who aren't in here you don't understand well you'd understand if she[0:44:13]   was an adult swim cartoon wouldn't you she was a big glob of goop running around with a bunch of[0:44:18]   explosions your adult swim has gone bizarre by the way if she was king star king yeah king star king[0:44:24]   or frylock you know these adult swim cartoons can they ever be just a bit normal or they gotta[0:44:31]   you know it's really it really goes to show how much you love sci-fi but she could be she's[0:44:38]   funnier than uh you know the aquatine meat force so here she is in her basement and remember she's[0:44:46]   been having her trainer film her do these really spastic workouts and by the way her trainer should[0:44:52]   be talk about jordan peterson needing to you know his license might be taken away by the board this[0:44:58]   trainer's license needs to be taken by the board so hela klein has his basement 15 million dollar[0:45:05]   home where the fresh prince grew up i mean this is bel air beautiful home beautiful property[0:45:12]   beautiful view they spend all their time under the ground in the basement they got a full basement[0:45:20]   that's the size of the the the frame of the house there this is one of those basements where poor[0:45:26]   people would go their basement's bigger than my whole damn apartment you ever heard people say that[0:45:31]   that bigger than my whole dang apartment oh that's great so they're always in the basement[0:45:40]   and i heard that hela's mom lives with them ethan klein hela klein and hela's mom from israel now[0:45:46]   lives with them so the upstairs is hela's moms and the kids and then the basement is where[0:45:52]   ethan and helica live imagine you get all that money millions of dollars you finally move to[0:45:58]   bel air on the top of the hill and you have to be in the basement i mean just really think about[0:46:05]   that you could be in a basement anywhere the bel air under subterranean of bel air is the same as[0:46:13]   the subterranean of saison z's house it's underground it's dirt on the sides there's[0:46:18]   fair you know so really think about that no person should be in a basement unless the basement is[0:46:25]   better than the upstairs unless it's like a speakeasy i hate basements man i hate windowless[0:46:33]   you shouldn't be underground underground is storage keep your storage underground everything[0:46:37]   else is up top okay here she is in the basement what kind of trainer let's just watch it let's[0:46:44]   just fucking watch it bro and again this is also an erotic segment so we're making fun of this[0:46:51]   woman for doing these terrible workouts they're very spastic but it's also erotica so feel free[0:46:55]   to take out any part you want tits ass your butt and play with it until you fucking eroticize[0:47:05]   yourself and how about this is a contest first person to come to hela's can we do this put this[0:47:11]   on you first person to come to heal his workout wins a giant prize could you imagine that hela we[0:47:17]   did this contest there's this show red bar they're doing this contest where every audience member[0:47:23]   jacks up to see who could come the fastest to heal his workouts that's sa is that sa i don't know[0:47:30]   legally that all seems sound you're allowed to jack off to anything that's on tv[0:47:35]   okay well don't jack off to this but um we should do like an ookie hela game[0:47:46]   ookie hela game where she's lying on the ground and we see how many people could break into her[0:47:51]   house and just that that's a joke too you gotta say joke when it comes to the clients because[0:47:56]   they love their suing they love to sue okay let's watch the fucking video this is wasting a lot of[0:48:03]   people's day up up look at her look at this look at this look at that[0:48:18]   okay so she's fully retarded i mean she's just returned now it's clear it's not an x and it's[0:48:23]   a retard oh her wrist i watch jewels work out you know jewels is new to working out too her[0:48:29]   form is like a professional jewels is my form is like a professional i know i'm in the gym every[0:48:37]   day like hela mark by the way hela mark harley wait till you see what we've got we should do[0:48:41]   like a class where have you ever seen one of those things where there's two people like on[0:48:47]   a stage doing a workout in like a park and then everyone else is on like their little mats in the[0:48:52]   park they're like you and me should do one of those a class a class for all the guys i teach[0:48:58]   our yoga class we go a cold yoga class where everybody gets sick i teach cold yoga it's where[0:49:08]   i act so cold to the customers and it's like you can afford a bigger mat by the way this is here's[0:49:15]   the other problem you're in your basement you got plenty of rooms that can be turned into a[0:49:18]   beautiful gym you know we just built a home gym i'm dying to show you guys once the mirrors get[0:49:23]   put up we got you know the the activity mirrors of course being put in the professional we get[0:49:28]   a whole wall of activity mirrors being put in i can't wait to show you my gym i'm gonna get a[0:49:32]   lot of people making fun of it it's very small i'm proud of you for your healing your body in[0:49:38]   this way thank you i mean only a few months ago you could have just blown away with the wind to[0:49:43]   another planet and now i've gained seven pounds of lean muscle mass your leg is like oh it's hard[0:49:51]   i've got beautiful legs i mean you give me six months i'm gonna be too beautiful to even to be[0:49:55]   doing pot gifting okay here she is working out and this should have a million likes when it's[0:50:04]   posted in the bringback group give this a like i want to see this skyrocket to a thousand likes[0:50:08]   there's nothing in the bringback group by the way that's ever gotten over 192 likes[0:50:13]   this is one of the most ever this needs to be 1000 likes when you see these posts watch her workout[0:50:24]   good last 10 last 10 she can't even be bothered to put on workout clothes[0:50:31]   she's wearing thick sweat pants and why is the trainer filming her i know that's the part like[0:50:38]   does hila and the trainer's trying to run this whole thing like she's got an operation she goes[0:50:43]   follow my trainer on instagram the trainer is overweight by the way in my mind this is the[0:50:48]   trainer's fault because i bet heila she's like oh i want to have another baby well what kind of[0:50:52]   moves are these oh i'll just get maybe she's friends with this girl and this girl's like oh[0:50:57]   i'll train you for free in your basement blah blah blah and he's like yeah why do i fat in the box[0:51:03]   look at heila's ass she's putrid she's and i'm allowed to say if you're showing it i could show[0:51:08]   it too she's not an olympic athlete she just wanted to get her heart but what kind of moves[0:51:14]   you know can we let her get a little comfortable first before performing these uh triplex motions[0:51:19]   so the trainer comes over and she's filming her and zooming in on her ass and posting a million[0:51:25]   videos of her why is she doing this yeah this trainer needs to get her head right it's bizarre[0:51:30]   focus on the train no the trainer needs to film more i want more i want the unreleased unedited[0:51:37]   director's cut trainer's cut is what i'd pay for imagine you go to the trainer's pay trim they're[0:51:43]   like uncut tapes of heila klein trainer's cuts and i bet heila's too nervous to tell her to stop[0:51:48]   filming because no heila wants this i mean heila loves this watch[0:51:55]   three two that's worse one look at this[0:52:01]   a pillow i mean come on and i want to see everything[0:52:10]   brought to you by rogue no i actually hate rogue fitness fitness i don't like rogue fitness it[0:52:16]   looks unfinished to me a lot of gym guys they have a really bad style a lot of gym stuff is[0:52:22]   very bad styled uh everything is bright red they think bright red looks good bright red is not a[0:52:29]   color you really run around you it should be an accent color only look accent color that's it[0:52:36]   you don't want all bright red workout equipment like joe rogan it's going to make your mind go[0:52:41]   mad in the gym uh it's not what you want and i don't you know listen does rogue make a higher[0:52:47]   quality product than most yes i like amazon the cheapest i like a 3.9 star item on amazon that's[0:52:54]   cheaper than anything i want it to be 40 bucks cheaper than the competitor here[0:53:02]   look at her and it's like you can't afford some lulu lemons[0:53:08]   here's another workout let's see oh my god look look at this[0:53:15]   nine look at this[0:53:16]   oh[0:53:22]   i mean that's not even halfway that's not even an official move what is that[0:53:29]   it gets worse let's watch the next one you know i feel like i don't even really need to be[0:53:35]   that articulate with these because you just see it this one got me going uh you know this one[0:53:43]   got me writing a little post i was starting to write you know what i think would be a really[0:53:47]   funny thing if somebody made a helocline workout app submitted it to the app store and got it to[0:53:52]   117k positive reviews and got it to be one of the top workout apps so imagine this and maybe[0:54:00]   we could help make this with some ai so imagine there's a helocline workout app and it creates[0:54:09]   a program for you based on what helocline does in all the little videos you know how like on each[0:54:17]   exercise it shows you like a demo video it's just helocline in the demo video so i'm like writing[0:54:23]   stuff like uh you know step one scatter uh dumbbells from target all over the floor as many[0:54:29]   as you can find by eight ab wheels and throw them all over the room like confetti you know[0:54:38]   you know put a resistance band uh you know hanging from every place that has a place to hang from[0:54:46]   i think that would be a funny app if we could get that going here's another one from helocline this[0:54:50]   one's great and i know working out is big right now does this have any music here[0:54:56]   it doesn't even have a blow up oh it does okay look at this let's watch this[0:55:01]   so[0:55:07]   look at this move bounce baby bounce bounce bounce that's doing nothing nothing look at this[0:55:24]   look at this and you would think queen hila she's got an obsession with buying things[0:55:30]   you'd think she'd be buying workout clothes right but no she wants to do it in these big[0:55:35]   thick heavy 52 ounce sweatpants maybe there's not any tight workout pants that are skinny enough[0:55:42]   for her i know she does very long legs her legs are about that all have you guys all gone down[0:55:48]   in a clothes size because listen you guys want some girls listen no i'm not oh no no no you're[0:55:53]   very right because i feel like every clothes place now is vanity sizing everything so that everybody[0:55:59]   can feel like they're a smaller really like jewels will order a size small and it's too baggy[0:56:06]   she's got to order an xxxs now to have yeah don't say it like that but it's true yeah they're really[0:56:15]   doing this with girls a girl's small as reg is a girl's large like it's size 25 in jeans is like[0:56:23]   three inches bigger than it used to be well girls are completely retarded with this size thing and[0:56:28]   it's like oh you're so worried about the size so thin what if she goes and puts on these little[0:56:33]   lemons they fall right off there's nothing they could there might not be anything small enough[0:56:38]   look at this man i mean really i would like to have this as my podcasting desk hila klein doing[0:56:45]   this can i sit behind that yes can you uh like a skull yeah take the tv show here turn to yeah[0:56:51]   see this shot here that i'm at this should line up perfectly almost take this of me clip it you[0:56:58]   got it now impose me sitting behind her and put all my stuff that's on my desk on her and this[0:57:04]   is my new desk i'd like to have that made like andrew scar scar in infinity pool spoiler alert[0:57:11]   infinity pool i'm going to talk to you today about mia goth and how psycho she is she is pearl[0:57:19]   this mia goth did you see your tits i can't stop thinking about me mia goth's tits[0:57:25]   which i hope shaya the buffet i hope that's what you wanted that's what we're all doing shaya we're[0:57:31]   thinking about how much of a cut you are and how i've seen her tits those disgusting tits i wouldn't[0:57:36]   go near you go near mia goth she's gonna end up cutting off your dick like lorraine bobbit[0:57:42]   you know everybody who gets jacked off by mia goth all of a sudden has their penis disappear[0:57:46]   one day look at this look at this one she's gonna look at the trainer watch this come on[0:57:54]   hila you're online this is my favorite oh oh wait you gotta see this because[0:57:59]   somebody pointed this out in the bbg wait to see this if i could just i can't rewind[0:58:08]   look at her so yes please more more more more more and uh did uh find her trainer[0:58:15]   go to her trainer's page let's confuse this whole situation tell that trainer that those[0:58:20]   hela klein videos are like so inspiring to you and they finally got you to work out you've[0:58:25]   had cancer it's all it's been a mess in the hela klein videos and beg for them be like[0:58:30]   please if there's any more hela klein workout videos using hela to further her career yeah[0:58:36]   and she shouldn't if your trainer isn't hot then it's not a trainer a trainer cannot be even[0:58:44]   slightly chubby people are saying mike where are your workout videos i would never do that[0:58:52]   any cool person here's what you gotta understand like i had a guy email me a uh not a fan a[0:58:58]   listener there are no fans there are just people who listen that's what i've learned from tim[0:59:03]   dylan um i had somebody message me and i've had a lot of messages like this hey mike is there any[0:59:09]   video tours of your studio that we could check out have you done a video tour and i'm like no[0:59:17]   well no there isn't a video tour and if i were you i'd really want like a studio video tour[0:59:24]   but think about it this way any nigga doing tutorials you start hating here's all that[0:59:33]   a person should do uh like rihanna she's a singer she's just sing uh mike red bar[0:59:41]   he should just do red bar that's it you don't do tours you don't do tutorials you don't show people[0:59:49]   this you don't show people that you just do what you do best and that's it or they're gonna start[0:59:55]   eating you alive and hating you the minute you start showing them a tour of something[1:00:01]   now they hate you and trust me this will happen to anybody uh people on social media they can't[1:00:08]   live without the applause the attention the attention the attention so what they do is they[1:00:14]   show you everything they have and they want you uh you gotta you know they gotta be on your mind[1:00:20]   24 hours a day you couldn't make a bigger mistake what you want from these people that you enjoy[1:00:29]   is them doing what they do best leaving you with wanting more and that's it any more than that is[1:00:35]   a disaster and you're watching it all over the world you're watching every entertainer be devoured[1:00:42]   by even their own fans and i will never ever let that happen the mystery[1:00:49]   is what you need you need mystery mystery is hope and you need it with your musicians you[1:00:55]   need mystery the more somebody talks the more holes you find right the more your favorite[1:01:03]   you know we saw like an we were about to watch an interview with the singer of the viagra boys[1:01:07]   and i go you know what turn it off if we watch this i'll probably hate him[1:01:11]   most likely any musician who starts talking i'm gonna hate now so let's talk more rock[1:01:19]   and you don't need to do tutorials you don't need to cook for people you don't need to do tours you[1:01:25]   don't need to show them your house shut up and dribble shut up and dribble no[1:01:32]   i'm getting very good at basketball i'm going to show you i'm going to do a one-on-one game[1:01:36]   write a book and it'll have one of those little inserts you know when you get a book[1:01:40]   and the middle pages are plastic and they've got photos the middle pages of a book are plastic oh[1:01:47]   yeah i love that i this is me reading a book oh the pictures goodbye when you die i'm gonna do[1:01:53]   a whole book about you and the middle pages with the pixel of everything you guys have ever wanted[1:01:58]   yes oh yeah when i die jewels is gonna put out a book of all these strange pictures of me that[1:02:03]   i've been scared that they would get out okay i'm gonna show you some gifts let's put on some[1:02:08]   nice background music hang out with me and i'll show you some cool gifts that came to the p.o box[1:02:15]   at first i was a fake i was homified i want to do it hell yeah welcome to red bar bros[1:02:29]   have a drink with me and hang out just a little bit man we're just like doing some cool shit[1:02:36]   who hates the mail segment don't speak we don't want to know i like this shot all right let's[1:02:44]   see some people have sent me stuff to the p.o box it's only fair to show it very quickly[1:02:50]   uh the only things i will not show on this show so if you send us gifts it's very nice[1:02:57]   thank you very much but we're not going to show like products that you could buy[1:03:03]   we just can't that's a that's a advertisement so like somebody sent me a bunch of really great[1:03:09]   hair care products that i've been using if they are making my hair fall out at a rapid pace[1:03:14]   but they're very nice hair care products but if i showed you them on the show that's just[1:03:18]   an ad for the hair care product it's never gonna happen so these need to be un-prodicized products[1:03:39]   this is cool this is cool look at this you can cut to the close-up here it's this weird uh[1:03:46]   what would you call this jewels you can show the close-up vhs tape case the close-up there it is[1:03:55]   and here's the back and then you open it i'll show you what's inside here i'll read it to you[1:04:00]   what would you call this like what kind of case is this it's like an old that's like really ringing[1:04:06]   a bell from something from my childhood but i can't it's very cool it's like something you[1:04:10]   would get in the public library okay you can cut back now dearest mike and jewels while catching[1:04:18]   up with the most recent episode of red bar you mentioned the type of gifts you enjoy[1:04:24]   you mentioned the types of gifts you enjoy are those things that can't be bought[1:04:28]   along the lines at least along those lines at least so i present you a copy of a one of[1:04:35]   if not the rarest piece in my personal collection the album stick man by lee[1:04:45]   graeber this was found in a goodwill in burn barbersville somewhere and i can't find nothing[1:04:54]   about it anywhere online not youtube not discords not anywhere i know you like music and freaks[1:05:02]   i hope you enjoy this as much as i did also if you do not have a tape deck what are you doing okay[1:05:11]   love aaron this is aaron from steel to morning and he sent me this and then it's got this on[1:05:17]   the back but what's cool is you have you spell lee graeber what's lee i don't know i wanted to[1:05:21]   google it oh yeah maybe we could listen to what this is it's l-e-e-g-r-a-b-e-r and inside is a[1:05:29]   cool tape look at that tape you could show them you could show them look at that tape[1:05:35]   and then a very cool sticker that says[1:05:40]   i mean is there even going to be a punchline to any of this bitch bitch bitch i'm an sob[1:05:47]   society of bitches very cool i i don't know what this is i'm never gonna play it so when[1:05:51]   you google stick man lee graeber nothing comes up so look at that so we gotta find a tape deck[1:05:57]   thank you very much for this this was very this is what i'm talking about love unique stuff like[1:06:01]   that unique news and then i got this look at this this is from another guy it's a weird folder of[1:06:08]   assets an advertiser's god's a guide to podcast advertising uh a bunch of other bull hold on i[1:06:19]   think that guy's weird he's from a different country here's a good one look at this somebody[1:06:24]   sent a book we love books this is rabbi schmooly botak and it's kosher sex you could show the[1:06:36]   close-up of that they hate when i ask you to switch cameras so you either have to do it or i[1:06:42]   have to ask you when i show something like this here jules when i go like this the close-up a[1:06:48]   recipe for passion and intimacy kosher sex so thank you so much we took a read here um what[1:06:56]   is it and we had the best kosher sex in the world we put a bunch of diamond crystal salt in jules's[1:07:03]   twat it dried her up so great that i was grinding against the sides of her vagina walls and they[1:07:10]   were all if you put a bunch of this diamond crystal kosher salt on your girlfriend's vagina[1:07:18]   and then put it in the fridge overnight it gets all the moisture out of it and you could really[1:07:24]   get a nice sear on that and that's i think what this is kosher sex thank you so much[1:07:31]   we'll do a book burning i'm interested in reading that for real is it like about like marriage or[1:07:37]   is it like sex tips don't ask me look at this somebody made these little frames[1:07:43]   fool of the year it's like an award that we could give out red bar fool of the year using our old i[1:07:49]   love this using the red bar logo from 2007 no cigarette wow keeping it and he took this cigarette[1:07:57]   out so interesting choice of logo work there can people see that very nice and then he gave me this[1:08:03]   one and this is to present to josh denny when we finally bust him you know you should have broke[1:08:09]   these off if it's an award it doesn't need this this is a pathetic thing to have liar of the decade[1:08:17]   josh denny can people see that liar of the decade josh denny an award people get a big kick out of[1:08:25]   this what did i tell you guys i hate the color maroon he did a maroon backing a lot of listeners[1:08:33]   to the show think maroon is it maroon is horrendous and that is nothing to do with[1:08:38]   how good of a guy you are i love you but no more maroon please it reminds me of maroon below[1:08:46]   the pearl jam lyric and he's describing blood all right last but not least here in these notes this[1:08:54]   is what i do when you give me a card oh stop this is what i do when i get a card or a note[1:09:01]   okay i open it and then i go no track and then i throw it away[1:09:09]   just get it remember that when you were a kid your grandma would get you a card[1:09:14]   there's no why would you just give me a card if it's if a card doesn't have at least fifty[1:09:19]   dollars in it it ain't a card look at this from the desk of hero nagasaki mike i thought it might[1:09:27]   be nice to honor some of the year's best fools with an award ideally the award would be presented[1:09:32]   to them in the middle of their set by a loud heckler[1:09:36]   all you gave me is an award for josh denny though right or no the other one we cannot use these[1:09:42]   because they're maroon we'd be embarrassed uh but he got this check this out look at this[1:09:49]   is red bar is watching red bar is watching red bar is watching red bar is watching red bar is[1:09:57]   it's a card that plays audio red bar is watching welcome to scar's club[1:10:07]   very nice um i had another listener sent me something and he used the red bar sticker on[1:10:14]   it that we sent to him with the merge he took the sticker and put it on like an envelope for me[1:10:22]   i the stickers for you i got a million of them that's so cute the guy sent me the red bar[1:10:30]   sticker that i gave him i think i'm gonna go red bar i don't want it to say red bar[1:10:35]   i want it to have your logo so this is what it got me enough's enough with these gifts[1:10:43]   um no i'm just kidding thank you very much wait i got one more i got one more here we go[1:10:49]   this one was so cute i think the guy is this aj turnt i think so right if i remember this guy[1:10:55]   writes me goes mike dude you gotta get some vape and i'm like this was a while ago we forgot about[1:11:02]   we just stumbled across it and this guy just sent us babe you know babe the bathing a hat[1:11:10]   be for bitch and he just sent us bape clothes[1:11:16]   mike you gotta wear this bape and i go okay you should send this for you are you gonna wear this[1:11:20]   jewels i'll wear it oh yeah that's why it's been in a bag for eight months this is actually not a[1:11:27]   bad color but you can wear that hat totally what's wrong with that yeah maybe i will wear this hat[1:11:31]   but it says bape just cross i had never heard of bape before so very cool i guess it's a street[1:11:43]   brand yes he's here says long time ago finally thank you so much i'm gonna wear that you know[1:11:48]   what i'm gonna wear that hat he is um this weekend but i might cross out the b and write in an r[1:11:59]   thank you so much for the gift if you want to send us something from the heart you can find[1:12:05]   our p.o box address on our website at redbarradio.net under the contact section don't do that[1:12:12]   here's what i here's what you shouldn't do and anybody who's done this this is totally fine[1:12:17]   but when you message me and you go mike i want to send you something what's the address[1:12:24]   it's very embarrassing for me to go oh here's the address thank you i can't wait to get the thing i[1:12:29]   know because you know what i mean it's like because my first instinct is when i anybody[1:12:34]   messaged me going mike i want to send you this i go no no no no no no no no don't send anything[1:12:39]   so if you're going to send something it's got to be an ultimate surprise if you ask me for the[1:12:44]   address it gets too awkward it's like here's the address for my gifts thank you that guy in the[1:12:50]   bpg luke i believe his name was who makes those adorable bags he posted these bags that he makes[1:12:56]   and i was like i want one but i want to buy it from him yes yeah we want to buy and he's like[1:13:00]   jewels what color do you want and i'm like i don't want you to give it to me i don't want to place an[1:13:04]   order with you but no i do want to place and i know but i mean i don't want to give you my order[1:13:10]   but i would love to pay for the bag because you deserve it remember the guy who made this[1:13:14]   i still think about him every day okay enough with these damn gifts[1:13:23]   have that drink with me will ya this is drink number four[1:13:28]   cheers guys to a wonderful red bar[1:13:37]   no no no and it's not figure out his address you lazy fuck it's just embarrassing it's just[1:13:43]   embarrassing for me to be like here's the address for my gift exactly and we don't even want gifts[1:13:48]   we just want you to be happy okay a gift to me would be to um to just help me get out of a jam[1:13:58]   online all right big show coming up here um we asked you two weeks ago was it two or three[1:14:10]   weeks ago two shows ago three shows ago we thought it would be funny to join brian callen's patreon[1:14:18]   as a bitch you remember this and we said it was like at the end of was just two episodes ago or[1:14:25]   three episodes ago i think okay it was two and we said guys everybody join brian callen's patreon[1:14:31]   it's five bucks his number wasn't moving what was he at 338 he was at 338 yeah wait don't tell him[1:14:40]   what we got this plan yes so he was only at 338 and we had learned that you could cut the music[1:14:46]   too we had learned that he hadn't posted content in like a year and then he finally resurfaced[1:14:52]   on youtube posting some patreon content from a year ago cruisin with callen and i'm thinking[1:14:59]   about this patron i'm remembering all the promises he made and please join the please join the patreon[1:15:05]   and remember that's what got me to message his wife to ask him if she was worried about his[1:15:12]   financial uh status there this is brian brian callen also reached out to mark harley this[1:15:18]   week and begged him to stop by the way i did mark reveal that oh yeah i got a million messages from[1:15:24]   mark harley about that i'll tell you about the mark harley's why am i saying mark harley his[1:15:29]   name is hello mark it's hella dash mark that's how i read it hello mark and by the way hello mark[1:15:37]   and i are beyond friends right now he gave me a tip for a pre-workout drink i i went to him i go[1:15:45]   hey mark i was in the middle i just ran out of some pre-workout i don't need your advice i get[1:15:50]   it my pre-workouts are clean they got a lot of different stuff in there that you don't need[1:15:54]   that's why i'm messaging hello mark so i message hello mark who's[1:15:59]   he's giant you know he's bradley martin size i say hello mark any tips for a good pre-workout[1:16:06]   and usually gym guys like that you think they're gonna go oh don't use a pre-workout you know[1:16:11]   they're not cleaning out they got a lot of artificial cut by the way on artificial color[1:16:15]   ain't nothing i'm afraid of if you're afraid of artificial coloring yikes don't leave the house[1:16:24]   not afraid of an artificial color if something has good reviews on amazon says amazon's choice[1:16:29]   it's good for you that's what i've come to notice everything okay over there[1:16:36]   uh if something says amazon's choice then it's clean that's what i think okay so i use all these[1:16:44]   i like experimenting with pre-workout drinks because it's very funny some of them they go[1:16:49]   higher and higher every time a new pre-workout drink comes you know the first one i got was like[1:16:53]   85 milligrams of caffeine okay that's fine the next one i get 135 milligrams of caffeine[1:17:00]   oh cool i bought one the other day 300 milligrams of cap they go higher and higher and higher[1:17:08]   it's keeping me up all night i'm working out like this[1:17:15]   i can't stop talking like i've been barely sleeping since we started working out because[1:17:19]   mike refuses to wake up or and work out in the morning or the day so we i like working out at[1:17:24]   about nine at like 9 p.m yeah 9 p.m is when i take my pre-workout and then i wait a full half hour[1:17:31]   for it to kick in then i start my hour and 55 minute workout and then i do a caffeinated post[1:17:38]   workout drink and all night i'm like shaking with pure i go through about 50 disposable cups a day[1:17:45]   of mixing in uh powders from amazon of all different stuff i have every product the company[1:17:53]   thorn makes literally we had to give away all our dishes and cups to make room for powders[1:18:00]   now people are saying do not drink a lot of caffeine before workout and because you'll have[1:18:03]   a heart attack i mean maybe you would have a heart attack 300 no i'm not kidding the newest workout[1:18:11]   the one i got 300 milligrams and i'm thinking this must be a pre-workout for like a giant guy[1:18:17]   like i don't need 300 milligrams too small for that and what i do is double scoops[1:18:22]   oh god i'm putting two on 600 milligrams this is me doing a lap hold on[1:18:30]   i'm high i get a workout high before i've even lifted a weight[1:18:33]   what's keeping me in the gym is this high from caffeine uh yeah i i'm just kidding i'm just[1:18:40]   kidding about all this stuff i'm not really starting at nine i'm not doing 300 milligrams[1:18:43]   this is all jokes but he does really start at seven which i do start at seven i know that's my[1:18:49]   prime time i love it and i fall asleep i have no problem falling asleep and in art here's how my[1:18:54]   life goes if i could fall asleep but she's up all night well what's the problem i'm not doing[1:19:02]   the problem i fell asleep fine here's how my life goes did i fall asleep just fine[1:19:10]   then what's the fucking problem oh she was up yeah that's the assistant[1:19:20]   that's the helper sorry if you want your camera switched you can't worry about what a side[1:19:27]   person is up to you you have to worry about you right if i'm falling asleep the whole house is[1:19:33]   going to be great that is it doesn't matter if she gets an hour of sleep at night all that matters[1:19:38]   is that i get my 11 hours which is what i'm going for right now i'm shooting for 12 and a half[1:19:45]   hours right now so um yeah everything's fine i don't need anybody's recommendations i mean seven[1:19:51]   pounds of lean muscle mass that's all it really matters people are wondering if you're oh no guy[1:19:56]   says mike has started taking trt but he doesn't want to tell anyone no that's not true at all[1:20:01]   i can't take trt uh medically i cannot um even if i uh was suffering from a low situation i cannot[1:20:10]   take it because it would um affect the disease i have and cause me to flare up so can't even happen[1:20:19]   it's medically not allowed to happen even uh a crumb of testosterone would put me back in the[1:20:27]   hospital for months yeah the only thing i could have is soy and estrogen so uh but i will be[1:20:37]   taking a supplement today on today's show i i just gotta and i had a really terrible week too i've[1:20:41]   been having a lot of complications from taking uh hormone balancers that i found on ebay[1:20:49]   you gotta see i've been drinking stuff out of batteries to see what happens[1:20:54]   i figure if you can get energy out of a double a what would it do if injected into my blood[1:21:00]   you ever done that i've got something to show you later on a product that i'm going to show[1:21:04]   you that has really changed my life and i've got this i really have this uh figured out i do not[1:21:09]   need any more tips mark harley though has given me some of the best workout tips he said so back[1:21:15]   to mark harley he said the pre-workout that i should get and again i got to stop myself it's[1:21:20]   hella mark hella mark she couldn't believe it when i called him hella dash mark in the show notes she[1:21:26]   goes oh like hella mark is his name and then harley is the last name or he is like a hella mark and[1:21:35]   there's something about that um we'll tell you about the stir that we caused with this hella[1:21:41]   mark thing and there's actually something really funny about all this that we're going to tell you[1:21:45]   about but first we're doing calin but i will tell you about hella mark's pre-workout he recommended[1:21:51]   a pre-workout to me that had beta-alanine in it creatine i don't take a pre-workout with[1:21:59]   built-in creatine sorry that's too risky just taking some other man's creatine all built into[1:22:06]   one so i i but i respected his uh thing but he said in all disclosure i got a full disclosure[1:22:13]   i do uh work for the company that i'm telling you to buy for so thank you hella mark you know if[1:22:21]   he's using for the disclosure i did not buy the one that he suggested but i did buy another one[1:22:27]   i buy like a new pre-workout every week i like uh just playing around i like the colors i like the[1:22:33]   branding of a pre-workout i like ones that look like they're very poorly graphic design that[1:22:38]   say like gorilla strength or lion confusion or something like that it's very weird no reputable[1:22:47]   brands make pre-workouts like the most reputable brand is called c4 ripped sport fuel and it's got[1:22:55]   like a lightning bolt and a bunch of italicized letters you know i don't think you should be[1:23:01]   putting anything in your body that has an italicized logo it's too extreme all right um[1:23:09]   but hello mark has been very nice to me and i've been very complimentary and we're gonna go over[1:23:15]   the do's and don'ts of being friends with hela mart in this new world that we've entered the[1:23:20]   fighter and the kid reddit and all the backlash and what's really going on with comedy hatresses[1:23:27]   out there you know a lot of people think that this show red bar is a comedy hatred show he[1:23:33]   was a failed open miker and now he's just getting back you know this it's that's kind of uh[1:23:41]   i think we need to you know i never like to be defensive here but i think even our own[1:23:47]   listeners you know who are new think that maybe i was an open miker and that's what this is all[1:23:53]   about so we're just gonna and remember we can't ever be defensive on the show but hopefully that[1:24:00]   puts you in a mindset where you start understanding that i never was an open miker[1:24:06]   ever we hate stand-up comedy here so if there's one thing that you see if anybody says he's a[1:24:13]   failed open mic or you go where did you hear that and get that information from me we're trying to[1:24:18]   trace this back to the source so that we could find out who put this rumor out and finally sue[1:24:25]   them on sam i mean the damages of that must be in the 24 million i gotta say i don't know why we're[1:24:33]   considered the biggest haters whenever i see like for example i saw a thread on the kill tony reddit[1:24:39]   where someone was like who's this guy red bar he's making these videos shooting on tony and[1:24:45]   all of the people in the comments who hate you there are people who hate me yes they're always[1:24:51]   like this guy's such a fucking piece of shit he's awful and they're like so brutally mean and then[1:24:59]   all of the guys who stick up for you are like yeah i mean everyone has their own opinion i[1:25:04]   guess it's really weird i like mike i guess we've been noticing this there there was a thing called[1:25:10]   redditors and redditors and a lot of people are noticing this they've got a vibe to them[1:25:20]   and they're very angry and reddit has a lot of guys like that and you go are you having any fun[1:25:28]   these reddits are supposed to be fun making fun of brendan shob 24 hours a day[1:25:33]   72 weeks a month and for the needs to be fun the most part of the fighter and the[1:25:39]   kid do have a very fun vibe but there are a lot of people on reddit who really[1:25:45]   on every reddit it's like a redditor type of guy and you go it can't be that way you can't be if[1:25:51]   you're feeling anger then you're not making fun of the guy the right way you know making fun of[1:25:59]   somebody should be the most joyous occasion it should be funner than the wedding that you think[1:26:03]   you're gonna have but the point of what i said was that i appreciate how our fans and the people[1:26:08]   who are our listeners nice yes listen to this listen to this finding nice vibe to them nice[1:26:15]   they don't get in fights have you noticed this a lot of people that hate red bar there's never[1:26:20]   nice people that hate red bar there's never like a nice guy who hates red bar it's always the meanest[1:26:27]   guy who hates red bar and then all the people who like red bar almost too nice and they don't[1:26:33]   ever stick up for me in these forums you know you're reading a comment here he's a failed open[1:26:40]   mic or oh his dad paid for the studio and you guys are just in there yeah well red bars not[1:26:47]   for everyone so you're that nice you're that nice you're gonna allow people to think that my dad[1:26:53]   my dad has nothing my dad is so cheap he doesn't even eat steak my dad is poor i'm ashamed of my[1:27:03]   family you know a lot of people this is crazy when i grew up listen to this eighth grade do you know[1:27:09]   how much my dad made when i was in eighth grade because i remember i think it was around eighth[1:27:13]   grade where i asked my parents how much my dad makes my mom told me 16 000 a year is what my[1:27:21]   dad made he sold suits at a store in the mall i'm not even kidding i didn't even know this was a bad[1:27:28]   thing i didn't even realize how disgustingly low community my family that's low for a jewish dad[1:27:41]   yeah my mom made gift baskets in the basement that was her job she made gift baskets you know what[1:27:47]   she made 22 000 a year and my dad made 16 000 a year he finally when i was an elder teenager[1:27:57]   got a job in an embroidery company and started making 65k a year we thought i thought that was[1:28:05]   pretty high and then he finally got up to 80k a year when i was about 25 and i thought that was[1:28:13]   high when i was 25 i thought 80k a year man i'd have it all and i always couldn't believe that[1:28:19]   my parents were so cheap growing up and i would always be so mad that they were so cheap but i[1:28:24]   didn't know any different i mean everybody we lived around with was kind of making the same[1:28:27]   amount of money and i thought like if your dad makes 85 grand a year you're rich and i thought[1:28:36]   what my dad made 20 000 they both okay so we're bringing them 40 that's a lot of fucking money[1:28:41]   i had no idea if i'll tell you right now i won't even look at somebody who makes forty thousand[1:28:51]   dollars a year i'd rather put a fucking gun in my mouth than know that's know somebody that makes[1:28:58]   forty thousand dollars a year so it really is disgusting when you see people go oh his dad[1:29:03]   just bought him oh i couldn't buy the studio myself for my talent and what kind of gay dad[1:29:10]   buys his 40 year old son a studio what kind of world do you think we're living in[1:29:16]   see look people have examples someone says i told somebody i gave it a year on reddit and they say[1:29:20]   i've been drinking toxic city water and that's why i like you there's no way listen we're not[1:29:28]   listen no no no my point was i love the way that you are i don't want you to start fighting with[1:29:34]   these people oh yes yes yes we don't want anyone to fear fighting with us the way listen we're[1:29:39]   not insecure about that kind of stuff makes me smile that was my point our slogan is give it a[1:29:43]   year and we say that with such a smile and confidence like i'll have a guy uh you know[1:29:51]   start emailing me or like messaging me about something and you go you've seen this before[1:29:56]   20 years in the business you've seen this before and you go give it my son oh give it give it a[1:30:03]   year and you know it's gonna work i mean you don't have to give it a year you give it two[1:30:08]   weeks and it works so all you gotta say is oh my son god bless you water under the bridge[1:30:14]   give it a year and they do and it works but it does hurt me to see[1:30:20]   this failed open mic or thing is picking up steam and it's not right it's not right you can't you[1:30:30]   shouldn't have to to do that to me i mean that's not fair for me right i've really put in i think[1:30:37]   you deserve nothing but praise and cut to the wide shot failed that's an led sign i mean come on[1:30:47]   i mean the studio is bigger than most people's apartments so um it would just be nice if some[1:30:54]   of our nicer fans go guys there's no failed over micro that is a lie people do do that[1:31:00]   do they do that yeah okay that's what i meant i just don't want people to think i wanted to[1:31:04]   that does i mean that could be the worst thing people say about me there's really nothing else[1:31:09]   that bothers me except for failed open mic or and now he's turned his sights on because that[1:31:15]   sounds like it explains what i'm doing here and i thought maybe the grooming stuff could end when[1:31:21]   i was 30 but it seems like that doesn't bother me that doesn't bother me i listen i would love[1:31:27]   to be groomed i'm a sexual guy i don't care about age i don't care about race[1:31:33]   uh when it comes to that stuff doesn't bother me you know the people who get bothered by sexual[1:31:38]   accusations you know Josh Denny was just calling me a pedophile he's fully gone to pedophile not[1:31:45]   with me me and it would make sense listen most people you listen to are pedophiles most podcasters[1:31:56]   are pedophiles most comedians are pedophiles so people don't even look into it but that's what[1:32:00]   Josh Denny's doing now he's full on out somebody goes Josh Denny you're a liar he goes i'm you[1:32:06]   only think i'm a liar because you listen to a lying pedophile i'm being called a pedophile now[1:32:17]   for this have you seen her take a look at her wait till you get a good look at her[1:32:23]   if this is pedophilic[1:32:26]   you know i wish trust me um and also i know that i'm not a pedophile because i was watching[1:32:34]   a bffs podcast the other day with Dave Portney let me see if i can find and Dave Portney was[1:32:41]   saying that Libby what is her name Livvy done Livvy Dunn who is a gymnast girl she's like 19[1:32:48]   he was going Livvy Dunn beautiful girl her imposter a girl who looks like Livvy Dunn[1:32:54]   beautiful girl and i go beautiful like if you can't really here's how you know you're not a[1:32:59]   pedophile i got a clip an 18 year old girl shouldn't really look beautiful to a 40 year[1:33:04]   old anymore here we've got a clip we'll show you this and this is where i learned that i wasn't a[1:33:09]   because i was worried that maybe i am a pedo i mean all of my life i wanted to fuck 16 year[1:33:16]   old girls up until about i mean you can't even say that because everybody else actually does[1:33:22]   think that's the thing you should see this clip of brian callen and someone posted we're going to[1:33:26]   show you that okay let me show you this day portney this will make sense there are a lot[1:33:31]   of guys out there where as soon as a girl is developed they're in they're in it took me a[1:33:40]   long time to grow out of that um see you can't even say that you can't even say that anymore[1:33:45]   because because other guys are doing this kumia could look at like a 16 year old looking girl[1:33:52]   and if she's got big tits kumi is not kidding dave's not kidding if they see a 16 year old[1:33:57]   girl with big tits they go damn i know i know she's 16 but damn and it's like i understand that[1:34:08]   but i don't understand it past 40 because once you get past 40 i'm past 40 now[1:34:15]   and i'll tell you there are findings you know all those things that you thought you were going to be[1:34:21]   it kind of turns out to be true like for instance i'm 40 now and i do hate new technology[1:34:32]   that's something i never thought i'd hate you know even when i was 30 i was going oh technology i'll[1:34:37]   always like to now every time technology comes out i get mad and i unlearn it here's something[1:34:44]   i'm 40 now i hate ai that's like a bilber type of and now i can see why these guys turn that[1:34:53]   there's no you can't fight it so you can say as a 20 year old guy you can sit around these are my[1:34:59]   findings you gotta listen to my findings because i was you i was a 20 year old guy i was 27 for like[1:35:04]   15 years and i was like always 27 ever since i came out i've been like 27 and i always thought[1:35:16]   oh i'm just gonna always love this and i always thought oh bilber is stupid but i'm telling you[1:35:20]   once you turn 40 you start really hating ai and gpt chat anytime somebody says gpt chat you start[1:35:27]   getting furious here's dave portney though it's 46 42 how old's dave let's see and what's the[1:35:37]   time 45 45 the first 45 seconds okay so uh yeah you'll see this and this is the kind of stuff[1:35:43]   where it's people don't quite understand this is what taught me that i'm not a pedophile here's[1:35:51]   dave uh we got to live dun looking like a girl this is the best show by the way bff looks like[1:35:58]   live dun said livy blocked her and she doesn't know why brekkie i'm being blocked okay i'm going[1:36:05]   to be addressing the livy situation this is perfect here's the girl here's the girl so if[1:36:12]   you're like 27 you might still find this girl hot if you're 45 this should just look like a kid to[1:36:25]   you shouldn't be judging a girl like this on if she's hot or not when you're 45[1:36:32]   it's kind of hard to explain to somebody even somebody who's 30 to explain well it is[1:36:37]   no i'll tell you why it's hard to explain if you're 27[1:36:43]   you still find this girl hot fine if you're 30 you might still find this girl hot because you're[1:36:52]   still living in a mindset where that's not that far from what you were trying to get when you[1:36:59]   were that age but once you're 40 and this is from my findings that should just look like a crazy[1:37:07]   little kid to you and you shouldn't even it shouldn't even be a thought that's a secret[1:37:14]   thought or not it you shouldn't think hot you should just think kid and that's where these[1:37:21]   guys really show their true colors this is 45 year old dave portney listen to what how he talks about[1:37:27]   her blocked okay i'm going to be addressing the livvy situation this once so a few weeks ago[1:37:34]   livvy blocked me i don't know why still to this day but um i'm still blocked and now posts like[1:37:41]   these are being made i don't know people just say we look alike i don't know why she's upset but[1:37:49]   i don't know why you would block someone for looking like you i guess people pointed out[1:37:53]   that brekkie has been posting content very similar to livvy i still don't know why that[1:37:57]   would make someone block they're both pretty i mean livvy don has they're both pretty[1:38:03]   listen you could understand that somebody is uh not ugly anymore when you're at the calling[1:38:09]   they're both very pretty very pretty it shouldn't be it really should be out of your system at 40[1:38:17]   so when you see kumi and dave they're much older than me so i know how my system works and then[1:38:24]   when i see their systems not working like that i go oh so they would fuck these girls if it was[1:38:29]   legal they would they'd fuck kids of a million looks alike she she's like a guest looking girl[1:38:36]   i don't mean as a like but she's like what you'd expect on the cover of guest magazine[1:38:41]   wait that those two pictures is there a guest magazine[1:38:48]   the arabian arabic store guess the clothing brand[1:38:55]   gas magazine where is gas magazine sold there cannot be a gas magazine there shouldn't even[1:39:03]   be a gas mall store anymore have you ever seen this guess coming soon you go oh they're gonna[1:39:08]   build a guess you go into guess it's like bejeweled jeans how are they selling an item[1:39:16]   i was a kid having a guest bag how is gas selling anything we should call a guess[1:39:24]   you know guess jean uh really guys have you ever gone guys do the guest challenge next time you're[1:39:29]   at a mall go into guests for me and remember me next time you're in gas show me one item that you[1:39:35]   would wear at a gas i mean even if you were one of those arabs with the eyelashes and the lined[1:39:41]   up sideburns are you really going to wear gas gas magazines this is why you got to watch bffs[1:39:47]   dave portney is mr mcgough i mean literally everything out of his mouth is wrong it's a great[1:39:54]   great great watch i'm a huge dave fan i actually find dave to be an innocent even though he's very[1:40:01]   guilty in many of your eyes dave is a nice tweed innocent he's very guilty but he does[1:40:07]   he doesn't know he don't know listen to this and livvy don has to have a million looks alike she[1:40:14]   she's like a guest looking girl i don't mean as a like but she's like what you'd expect on the[1:40:18]   cover of guest magazine wait that those two pictures on the sheet those are two different[1:40:23]   people yeah the right is livvy the left left is brekkie oh these are the girls[1:40:31]   i mean that's a little kid[1:40:43]   so that was a very weird video but i think we can based on what i got from that brekkie is[1:40:48]   definitely copying livvy yeah that's what maybe she just hit the block so yeah maybe it's like[1:40:54]   i don't you know there's livvy done this uh gymnastics is there anything grosser than a[1:40:58]   girl who does gymnastics i don't know is there anything more disgusting than somebody who goes[1:41:05]   to any sort of public gymnastics place wouldn't you think it was cool if i could do a little flip[1:41:11]   not at all not at all uh i was playing hogwarts legacy the other day which is an anti-trans game[1:41:19]   that i bought for playstation vr got a mod i was playing hogwarts legacy and i discovered the[1:41:26]   somersault button so you can make your character run but then i what is it excuse what is the the[1:41:36]   button that makes them roll and do a somersault probably the circle circle okay let's pretend it's[1:41:40]   circle so i'm running right and i just keep hitting circle and my character in hogwarts is[1:41:47]   somersaulting up a hill and i just make them instead of running i go you're not losing any[1:41:55]   health by somersaulting so i'm just constantly somersaulting and she's rolling through the castle[1:42:03]   going upstairs rolling he really had a good time i made our hogwarts character do about 45 minutes[1:42:12]   of straight somersault run all the way up a hill we finally got our broom she got the most expensive[1:42:21]   broom in hogwarts legacy it's not that good you know hogwarts has bad graphics it does when you're[1:42:28]   on the broom and you're trying to fly and you want to go fast all it does is make lines and it it[1:42:35]   blurs like they have like this thing like so pretend my microphone's here when you're flying[1:42:40]   on the broom it blurs the area around that just looks like bad graphics they got a lot of mistakes[1:42:46]   in legacy i hate that game i fucking hate hogwarts i hate harry potter i would like a game and by the[1:42:53]   way if i could incendio oh did you bring i know i was motherfucker we'll do it next week next week[1:43:01]   incendio should burn up every player i mean imagine if in hogwarts legacy it's like grand[1:43:07]   theft auto where every guy you run up to you could do like your wand you should be able to[1:43:12]   blow off their head i should be able to go incendio and the black guy turns into a skeleton[1:43:18]   but no i could only blow up a barrel if i see it so not for me that game stinks and it's uh[1:43:26]   way too much talking in that game and it's really boring and the music is really low compared to the[1:43:33]   dialogue i don't know if that could be fixed in a setting the settings panel is hideous to look at[1:43:38]   can't wait to play it the second i get home i hate hogwarts legacy now i'm excited our vr has[1:43:45]   shipped our playstation vr unit i ain't a gamer by the way when you hear me talk about this that's a[1:43:52]   joke she plays hogwarts legacy she can't wait to play it she grew up with harry potter to me harry[1:43:59]   potter was like the power rangers it was a kids show i was so old you know how old i was when[1:44:04]   harry potter came out 22 i was into other stuff sorry it's not a gremlins game not that see that's[1:44:14]   i wish there was a nostalgic thing for my childhood man's little yes exactly that would[1:44:20]   bring nostalgia to me so she's experiencing all this nostalgia about harry potter i don't know[1:44:25]   anything about it i've refused to watch the films and i don't like old timey legacy type[1:44:32]   environments i don't like uh well you know what this brings us to this cyberpunk[1:44:37]   i don't like that either you know what i like i like the map of spider-man the game[1:44:44]   it's new york city what i want is a full city map it looks realistic and i could do[1:44:52]   10 million different death things to people like i should be able to go up to hogwarts legacy i[1:44:57]   grab a guy by the hair and slice his throat you can gut a guy and rip him like i want to do it all[1:45:03]   shoot a missile into somebody's mouth and they go boom but you can't you know these creators it's[1:45:11]   like if you could create a brick in a game if you could make a realistic looking puddle[1:45:16]   then please by all means let me tear someone limb from limb[1:45:20]   incendio you should be able to burn just their head and it's just a skeleton now and then you[1:45:29]   can knock the skeleton off with the wand that would be way better wouldn't that be great but[1:45:33]   they refuse well you gotta i don't know why they refuse you can do some mods make an nc-17 game[1:45:40]   for adults where i could literally rip a girl's clothes off and like cut her tit off with a knife[1:45:45]   i mean i'm sure that's out there no it's not out there it's i'm not out there at all[1:45:51]   gamers speaking of being tits speaking of this place that i don't like i hate hogwarts legacy[1:45:57]   i would like and by the way it's like can't you make the castle like if you could ripario[1:46:02]   everything wouldn't okay so they're like ripario and then it like puts back together a broken[1:46:08]   barrel why doesn't it restore that barrel to its first shit like it restores the barrel to an old[1:46:17]   broken beat up barrel instead of making it like brand new if you do ripario to the castle it[1:46:24]   should make it like brand new it shouldn't be like a slurpy foundation and all this shit harry potter[1:46:30]   lore has a lot of holes a lot of holes in harry potter i'd like to put a hole in that harry potter[1:46:35]   his fucking head this bothers me you know we're running a contest right now for a light news intro[1:46:43]   song okay and on the last show i said i'm going to give a thousand dollars to whoever could come[1:46:48]   up with a light news song that we choose that doesn't mean i'm picking the best of the worst[1:46:53]   it means if somebody comes up with a theme song that is actually usable we will give them a[1:46:58]   thousand dollars and this guy messaged me we've got a lot of light news theme song submissions[1:47:04]   that contest runs for three more episodes and then we're going to pick our grand winner along[1:47:09]   with the red bar is watching sticker one month for both those contests you have one month to[1:47:17]   enter so three more shows two more shows after today yeah okay some guys sent me this i don't[1:47:25]   read emails anymore i click on attachments i click on the links blindly and i listen to what i've got[1:47:34]   and i forward to jewels anytime a listener emails me something i forward it to jewels[1:47:38]   and then i'll click play if there's an attachment this guy messaged me to enter the red bar light[1:47:45]   news theme song contest i don't know what he said he he did submit a light news theme song[1:47:51]   but he also attached this and he said i also made this i actually don't know what he said[1:47:57]   because all i know is the attachment this is the attachment it's called gandalf[1:48:01]   oh my fools in the shower gandalf tried to touch me when we was camping man i didn't like it when[1:48:13]   he used his bird wizard hand on my dick he touched me when i used to pee i don't like it man and it's[1:48:21]   making me cry in my bedroom and i don't know why why girls did you do okay i'll tell you something[1:48:30]   that's going on too that i've noticed with ai deep fakes so people are starting to make deep[1:48:37]   fakes if joe rogan talks to jordan peterson or deep fakes ben shapiro and jordan peterson have[1:48:43]   an argument but everybody's deep fake humor seems to be could you imagine if joe rogan and jordan[1:48:53]   peterson were talking about minecraft this is what you're using your deep fake ability[1:49:01]   so the nerds of the world they love ai by the way you know ai is like[1:49:08]   the best thing that's ever happened to the nerds of the planet and they're using ai[1:49:13]   to talk about minecraft pokemon i saw one the other day it was what if dasha and anna from[1:49:20]   red scare were talking about pokeman this is what you're using this one made me laugh play one here[1:49:27]   yeah you've got one oh wait and i'll show you mean and then this guy sends me gandalf rap[1:49:33]   is there something funny about this uh medieval nerd shit that i'm not getting here this is donald[1:49:42]   trump and who um walt junior of course donald trump and walt junior and they're talking about[1:49:49]   again it's a nerd subject so the only thing that you guys could think of is what if people who are[1:49:55]   not normally nerds start talking about something that we love like mind the internet is for[1:50:01]   i don't like this so here this is a deep fake donald trump and walt junior and again if you're[1:50:09]   going to make a deep fake it should be i mean it's again it's like the video game you could[1:50:13]   do whatever you want in a video game and they just make me run around clicking and going oh[1:50:17]   can i get to the castle how did i click a button and somebody's eyes pop out or something you can[1:50:25]   do that but they choose stuff like this listen to this nerd shit know what exactly what you[1:50:30]   look like and where you live well well i i use a vpn so that is so cap junior i just pulled your[1:50:39]   ip i've got it right now no you don't huh so the situation is they're playing call of duty[1:50:47]   that's what you guys could think of imagine if donald trump played call of duty our game[1:50:52]   i wish these games gave you a disease seriously this gaming i'd like to break every controller[1:50:59]   out there trust me but this is pretty funny walt junior has always been a target of mine as soon[1:51:05]   as breaking back came out i started targeting walt junior for his disability he's having a huge[1:51:10]   renaissance in the meme yeah it's a joke let me tell you something walt junior nobody is your fan[1:51:15]   they're mocking you you're the william hung of this generation it's because you got ms[1:51:21]   i think you have ms[1:51:25]   excuse me no i mean what were you saying i was gonna say i think i've said this before but[1:51:30]   i saw walt junior one time at a club one of the best moments of my life yes he was up there he[1:51:35]   was peeking out did he have his canes double canes i couldn't see i could just see him peeking over[1:51:39]   two canes two different canes i wonder if he buys the same brand and same with[1:51:44]   or if they're two completely different canes of different styles albacore new mexico that's where[1:51:51]   you're from that's not hi hey oh i just pulled your ip 308 negra or lane albacore new mexico[1:52:01]   that's you isn't it no i'm on google earth right now i see a pizza on your roof[1:52:07]   that's that's my grandma's house nice try notice what so you're playing at your grandmother's[1:52:15]   house you're a loser don't leave a joke to me you're playing it grandma's what is she and all[1:52:21]   the trump deep fakes are like when he's talking really sincere that's what we like when he's[1:52:28]   really old gonna make you cookies and know what exactly what you look like and where you live okay[1:52:34]   it's over there it is it's always nerdy make ai where they're naked and fucking and everybody's[1:52:39]   swearing you could do whatever you want and they choose oh wouldn't it be funny if donald[1:52:44]   champ is playing minecraft with jordan pierce no you know what's funny about minecraft absolutely[1:52:49]   nothing should be banned well what would your dream deep fake be uh hela klein fully naked um[1:52:58]   with ethan klein fully naked and they're shitting and falling down the stairs and farting[1:53:04]   and they both shit and cover themselves in shit and then roll into their kids naked and then the[1:53:09]   kids go up their asses and out their mouth and turn into skeletons my dream deep why not probably[1:53:15]   be kanye screaming about denny like you know when he's in one of his really screamy moods[1:53:20]   where he's like he roaches but he's screaming about denny's crimes little update we finally[1:53:26]   saw kanye west he was at the police station kanye west drove to the police station to report[1:53:32]   paparazzi members and they've stumped him again uh it was very cool i mean he looks nice he's[1:53:40]   got a nice beard right now he shaved his head he's got a beard and he had a really cool[1:53:45]   black puffer leather looking vinyl puffer a very nice jacket i was wondering if that was the gap[1:53:52]   jacket i like the jacket he was wearing i would like to get that black jacket if anybody knows[1:53:57]   i did start wearing my easies again in public this week really did you get any did you experience[1:54:03]   why are you receiving hate who's that why am i receiving hate i was going into my little[1:54:14]   neighborhood strolls the other day i was like do i dare wear my easies for my stroll because they're[1:54:20]   my comfiest shoes easy easy it's me the silver sofa and i walked outside i saw a couple both[1:54:28]   wearing easy sounds like it's a sign from god he's back nobody cares and nobody even understands[1:54:33]   what these shoes are i refuse to wear shoes at all anymore you should see what i'm wearing[1:54:39]   two fish i take sewing needles i put them under my feet like this and i tape them on and i walk on[1:54:44]   these needles all right let's show them some cool stuff what was i going to go to next should we[1:54:50]   tell them about oh wait we had a brian calin thing that's the next step next up brian calin where was[1:54:56]   i brian calin oh yes this was um yeah we had people sign up for his patreon and what was the[1:55:04]   point of this to have everybody sign up for brian calin's patreon two episodes ago we told them on[1:55:10]   the last episode that we were going to be there to have everyone cancel the gist of it was the[1:55:16]   idea was that we wanted him to see his numbers go way up and get all excited and there we go for[1:55:20]   everyone to cancel so everybody knows brian calin to me one of the more despicable people online[1:55:27]   i don't care what he did i don't care if there were no rapes ever committed you know these[1:55:32]   alleged rapes of course i don't care if his worst crime was just saying afghanistan with that accent[1:55:43]   i hate him i know that i hate him i know he's bad i've always known he's bad[1:55:48]   he's disgusting in every way uh that fighter in the kid reddit should be 100 brian and sometimes[1:55:55]   brendan uh that's what i think is fair i feel like the fighter in the kid reddit are the type[1:56:01]   of people who like if brian calin like came out to them publicly be like oh you're cool[1:56:05]   you're cool it's just brian we like you that's what they would be they would be excited to see[1:56:11]   brian calin they would be 80 000 people like after helenmark interview the other day it blew[1:56:18]   up with all these people fighting like half most of the people i think wanted to invite him on to[1:56:24]   do an a well we lit a little bottle rocket we went this was us this was us last week with helenmark[1:56:30]   harley watch this i'm gonna give it a little lead to him here can you find me the sizzle of a wick[1:56:47]   when i was a kid my whole life was wick based i dealt with so much wick in my childhood little[1:56:55]   green fucking wick i mean i would i was buying you know jewels doesn't even know this is possible[1:56:59]   i would buy spools of wick and i'd be tying different fireworks together different firecrackers[1:57:07]   together i mean my whole childhood was me with a tiny wicker if you search wick sound effect it's[1:57:14]   just all john wick stuff if you're a fan of john wick you're retarded you're mentally disabled[1:57:21]   i love watching him on the trip this is john wick[1:57:26]   whoa whoa yeah murder yeah it's cool to kill that's not ever cool to kill a killer is a[1:57:32]   murderer a psycho even if you're killing bad guys you're a serial killing murdering psycho so um[1:57:42]   wicks are very cool we lit up here here's us with helenmark harley[1:57:45]   and here's the funniest part about all this helenmark harley and fighter and the kids stuff[1:57:54]   we don't give a hell about any of it we didn't know really anything about helenmark harley[1:58:03]   until we saw like one comment that suggested maybe he got fired and so we asked him to come[1:58:08]   and talk about it but we had like no clue yeah um like to us we're just like maybe helenmark[1:58:15]   harley will say something crazy about brendan and brian callen and hahaha and then that's it[1:58:20]   and then we get a laugh but this oh my god you should see the the storm this caused not only in[1:58:27]   the fighter and the kid reddit which is notable 80 000 users did you say i think so is it 80[1:58:33]   thousand people in a hate reddit about brendan sha but it's 24 hours a day about brendan shop[1:58:40]   i can't you know i love hating people i can't find that much time to hate brendan to me it's[1:58:47]   he says one stupid thing a month it's barely anything now there's 112 k 112 000 people that[1:58:56]   could be the biggest in the fighter and the kid hate reddit and all they do is just brendan[1:59:01]   and you know what we saw with our helenmark harley interview was that people might be taking this a[1:59:07]   bit too serious again if you're not having a ton of fun making fun of somebody you're really not[1:59:15]   doing it right i don't want to speak well what happened tell us what happened after our interview[1:59:20]   because what i was going to say is that it exploded with everyone being like oh get helenmark[1:59:25]   on here we want to ask him all these questions he was commenting everyone was like yes helenmark[1:59:30]   you rule and then there's always these guys who are like excuse me everybody uh now we're saying[1:59:37]   that helenmark rules he was papa's assistant and he's so all of a sudden red bar is like friends[1:59:44]   with helenmark oh helenmark is brendan's or even not related to us just about the other people yeah[1:59:50]   it's like guys guys guys way too seriously there shouldn't be any rules of how to hate somebody so[1:59:57]   there are guys out there who are like if you've spoken to brendan you can never speak to us[2:00:03]   it's just insane it's like what have you guys convinced yourself is actually happening here[2:00:08]   like what did brendan do i mean there sure are a lot more people online that deserve 112 000[2:00:16]   person hate reddit but for the most part it is fairly light-hearted over is it light-hearted[2:00:21]   but there are some people well we saw a lot of discussion and a lot of people were taking this[2:00:25]   very very seriously and we just wanted to shake those people give you a quick reminder that[2:00:32]   this is really you know we're just doing this for fun uh brendan shob isn't even like a character[2:00:39]   who's really committed any crime you know what i mean why aren't you doing this to anthony[2:00:46]   cumia i mean you guys would have a field day i mean why aren't you doing this to calin why[2:00:50]   aren't you doing this to krista leah or josh denny i mean can't there be 112 000 person hate[2:00:57]   reddit against krista leah that's constantly bothering him he's way more worthy of it but[2:01:02]   you just stick to brendan and you know we saw this too you know who else has a big hate reddit that[2:01:07]   doesn't deserve it trisha paytas yeah a big hate reddit and it's almost as if hers is like a soft[2:01:15]   target they like a low-hanging fruit where there's not many consequences and they like picking on[2:01:23]   somebody who's almost not fighting back or won't fight back it seems like you know who else has a[2:01:31]   big hate reddit that doesn't deserve it here's another one yeah caroline calloway here's another[2:01:35]   one alex cooper from call her daddy giant hate reddit and it's like i love the energy guys can[2:01:44]   we use it against somebody a little bit better logan paul should have the biggest hate reddit[2:01:49]   not brendan shob brendan shob is just a dumbass you should be able to get over that fairly easily[2:01:56]   but you've twisted yourself in this i don't know what happened to you guys but you're under this[2:02:03]   impression that brendan like must be stopped and jailed and if i asked you what's the worst thing[2:02:10]   brendan's done what would you say what would you say i mean ethan klein a better candidate every[2:02:17]   person we make fun of on the show is a better candidate for a hundred and twelve thousand[2:02:21]   person hate reddit where they're talking about you every day so i asked you this can somebody[2:02:26]   even in our chat tell us what is brendan's three worst crimes go let's see what people even say do[2:02:33]   you even have anything or have you lost yourself to this idea that he is the boogeyman that you[2:02:40]   must destroy and i'm not i just want to say there's nothing wrong with nothing wanting to[2:02:45]   peddly make fun of minor things of brendan of course we all love doing stuff like that[2:02:51]   but it's the seriousness and i feel like the writer and the kid wrote is actually a bad[2:02:55]   example like is it well all i know every time i go there to check on something of mine they're[2:02:59]   very serious about how much they dislike me but they at least they have like their little[2:03:04]   shob isms and stuff and they keep i hate you know and brandon mueller had this perfect somebody in[2:03:09]   the bring back group was like baba is getting it up the astrid they call brendan baba oh yes[2:03:16]   and brandon mueller one of our legacy listeners made a great point he said we don't say baba here[2:03:23]   and he did speak for everybody and i'm glad he did because yes we don't say baba that sends it[2:03:29]   chilled on my spine you were right brandon mueller and i was too afraid to like the post i never want[2:03:35]   to put another guy out you know i'm afraid to uh if you're a red bar listener you've made it into[2:03:40]   the bring back group i treat you with pretty much respect i don't want to make you feel like a fool[2:03:44]   but that guy who called him papa yes brandon mueller was absolutely right we don't call him[2:03:49]   papa baba none of this stuff that stuff does send chills down our bones and i understand[2:03:57]   completely do you say what are we doing here no i don't say anything i say my own things you know[2:04:03]   i don't just take a thing and beat it to death for 15 years straight you gotta advance too you[2:04:08]   gotta move on i mean this is very confusing red bar has a million inside jokes too and you know[2:04:13]   what they last until it gets gay and then you ditch it you don't hang on to these inside jokes[2:04:18]   for infinity but i do get it because if somebody came up and was like what is so bad about josh[2:04:24]   denny you'd be like it's hard he lies he lies just it's just this so i guess well what did we have[2:04:30]   anybody in the chat do they have any what because maybe i'm missing something what[2:04:33]   is brendan done they say that deserves a bigger subreddit than anthony kumi has got going after[2:04:40]   him being gay being a retard undeserved success someone says but i think there's something else[2:04:47]   going on there really is something else going on i mean uh you gotta believe me we need some[2:04:53]   psychologists to figure this out why brendan why is he the main folk is it because it's approved[2:05:00]   is it because it's safe to make fun of him like the internet has basically given you approval[2:05:05]   to make fun of somebody where in any other case it's bullying or maybe there'll be some[2:05:10]   you know clap back but maybe it's because brendan has been you know universally yes we all think his[2:05:18]   special sucked so we could make fun of him even fellow comics make fun of him so it's safe but[2:05:23]   how fun is it to make fun of a something that's safe where's the joy where's the excitement i[2:05:29]   think maybe what it is is this it feels like they have a need to stop him like even as much[2:05:36]   as i hate denny i don't want him to stop i love watching yeah you shouldn't want to stop your[2:05:41]   fool you want to see your full yes see what happens because it's because it should be[2:05:45]   entertainment you should get a kick out of watching them but it's something about how[2:05:51]   they like want to stop that's what i mean i think it's a confusion when and this is what i'm trying[2:05:56]   to teach here because i've done this for 20 years hating on these guys and you could kind of get[2:06:00]   locked into this thing where it's like you wanna you've done all this work hating on somebody so[2:06:07]   you want there to be like a reward for all that work eventually and you want everybody to know[2:06:15]   you were right your predictions were and i understand that concept the concept's wrong[2:06:21]   you shouldn't be trying to stop or cancel anybody you should be trying to create chaos[2:06:27]   for the person for your entertainment now people in the chat are going i seriously hate brandon[2:06:34]   bull and it's like yes you're allowed to hate yes we hate him too but is it worthy of a 24 7[2:06:41]   but eight year and i actually don't even think it's like this is just an interesting thing we've[2:06:47]   noticed we're not even saying you should stop that you're doing anything wrong it's just something we[2:06:51]   notice yes um i just wish they could they they should be doing it to to everyone if they like[2:06:59]   what what's happened and this is with all the people who cancel people too what your experience[2:07:03]   is called thrill it's the thrill of gossiping about somebody making fun of somebody bonding[2:07:11]   with others over someone else's failures and you learn and you should and you learn about yourself[2:07:17]   you could learn from a fool's mistakes this is what we do here you learn from a fool's mistake[2:07:23]   it's a really great way to learn about how to go about life but you need to understand and not be[2:07:30]   embarrassed about what you're here for so i think what the what happens is the problem comes in when[2:07:35]   people think that they need it's too frivolous to just hate somebody and enjoy making fun of them[2:07:42]   most people are too afraid to admit that so they got to come up with a reason and it turns into[2:07:47]   this angry negative thing and they're very frustrated because they're not getting the[2:07:52]   outcome they want and you just got to shake yourself reset and look at it is am i having[2:07:57]   a blast isn't this fun to watch this guy get made fun of and if you're not having fun maybe you know[2:08:02]   what they probably are having a blast and i don't think what i said about denny it's like we all[2:08:07]   have our one guy that we can't explain it we just fucking hate him so i guess he's theirs i just don't[2:08:14]   fully think he's the best man i mean i saw a lot of people taking this hella mark harley interview[2:08:19]   very serious and again i want to reiterate this means absolutely nothing to us that we lit the[2:08:24]   fuse we walk away ha ha ha i'm great there's a big explosion i barely even know what the hell[2:08:29]   hella mark is talking about i can't even follow it goes in one ear out the other um and i thought[2:08:36]   that was great let's play you this voice message you know this actually turned out to be quite[2:08:40]   wonderful uh again brian callen went to hella mark harley dude you don't want to do this please[2:08:49]   stop burning everything down you don't want to do this brendan reached out to hella mark too[2:08:54]   they've all seen the show i mean to me[2:09:01]   what a gift i got brian callen and brendan watching this show with hella mark i remember[2:09:08]   i'm doing this i'm not even fucking listening i got a hella mark here and brendan and brian this[2:09:15]   is a crisis for them this is a big part this is like they're going through a succession type[2:09:22]   episode about all this and meanwhile you know i get off the phone with hella mark i forget that[2:09:28]   that even exists i think that is what makes it so beautiful you know uh let's play this voice[2:09:36]   message from uh brendan to alamar and there's a lot of people who participate in the fighter and[2:09:42]   the kid writer who also watch red bar we're not saying that what you're doing is stupid why are[2:09:47]   they already mad no i'm just want to be clear it's just interesting to think about that yeah[2:09:52]   you guys gotta just stop being mad there should be mad you see when i come on the show it's a very[2:09:59]   big happy celebration just don't be the guy who comes out and goes why are we even talking to[2:10:03]   hill mark why are you even talking to hill mark he's the enemy there is no the enemy except for[2:10:10]   deni kumiya gatling delia trepoli but again we even take those guys everyone has their own stuff[2:10:19]   you gotta take it all lightly this stuff is not big enough you know and you gotta have priorities[2:10:25]   and you if if it is big to you and you're a very serious person you gotta go after somebody that[2:10:29]   deserves it a good example of what we're talking about is the trisha paytas like trishy land reddit[2:10:35]   where it's like every single day there's like a million people on there that are like we have[2:10:40]   to stop her we have to get her kid taken away we have to do all and it's like what has trisha[2:10:45]   paid us what is she doing she's not even doing anything to anybody you just can't stand her[2:10:52]   which is fine but that doesn't mean somebody's life needs to be stopped you don't need to do[2:10:57]   things to them you should just be able to vent by making fun of them having a laugh and if you can't[2:11:04]   get off by having a laugh at them you've gone too far if you've got to do illegal things to[2:11:09]   somebody to start getting a rise out of it you've gone too far you got to find a new subject see[2:11:13]   this guy in the chat says i want an explanation this guy says the people saying hela mark rules[2:11:19]   are worse than the people who hate him yes let's talk exactly to that guy shout his name out[2:11:23]   explain the people who are saying hela mark wrote because this is what we're talking about i just[2:11:27]   want to know why you think that i won't yell at you and it's curious this is interesting too[2:11:32]   because this is one of these guys they don't get red bar you're here but you don't get what's[2:11:37]   happening his name is oathy swearing your name is oathy swearing you've been around for a while[2:11:41]   because that's one of our biggest fools names here on the show but you're saying the people who are[2:11:46]   saying hela mark rules and i get this a lot we have a lot of autists just don't understand what[2:11:51]   saying and i even explain this on the hela mark episode i go hela mark rules that doesn't mean[2:11:57]   he rules so i need that guy to explain why is it bad that people are saying hela mark rules and[2:12:07]   what do you not understand well i mean i can fill in the blanks explain explain us first[2:12:15]   please where is he has he spoke there's a 30 second delay so i'm waiting because we need to[2:12:23]   know because i think that guy needs to be psychologically uh configured here today so[2:12:31]   that he could go on with his life and enjoy it as much as we're enjoying ours because he's missing[2:12:36]   a giant chunk of what's happening a different guy says hela mark does seem to be exploiting this[2:12:41]   moment in the sun he's getting it's like who cares it's funny they've lost their minds with[2:12:48]   the political discourse online so everything is like a it's like yeah he's exploiting life or[2:12:54]   death thing to these people why he's exploiting why the nonsense make-believe shit are you afraid[2:13:03]   he's gonna make a million bucks what are you worried about these people are fictional characters[2:13:10]   that we play with like dolls the guy othish wearing sets i was talking about the viewers[2:13:17]   who legitimately think he rules no one thinks that and hello this is what i mean you might have[2:13:25]   autism you really might if you think that if you don't understand what and i get this all the time[2:13:33]   you know like i'll say when i said here's one here's a big one i go burr kreischer rule you[2:13:39]   know what he might be the best comic we have and they don't quite get it i got emails and messages[2:13:46]   like mike i really agree with like most of the things you see but how could you say the[2:13:51]   burr kreischer rules it's like oh my god and maybe that can never be explained to somebody like that[2:13:59]   you would think hearing me say this now they would go way way way what am i missing oh this[2:14:03]   is troubling you would think this would spark but they go nah he doesn't rule that's the thing[2:14:09]   it doesn't really it's like so you're that retarded when even i say something like this[2:14:14]   and try to explain it to you without over explaining it you still don't understand and[2:14:18]   you're still going to go it's just the people who say rules they really get under my skin we can't[2:14:23]   have that as an audience the audience has to understand exactly what the hell i'm talking[2:14:28]   about at all times i'm sure i'm sure most autism is a giant problem in this country like most[2:14:36]   people do not have what it takes to be out there in public making handshakes say you were in your[2:14:42]   car with your friend driving down the avenues and then there was like a kooky bum who had like[2:14:49]   a big cape and then he like leans over and like flashes and then you go that guy's iconic and[2:14:54]   you're like he rules yeah that's what it means he doesn't really rule it's just wow this guy's[2:14:59]   giving us a thrill at this moment isn't that funny rules he rules hello mark harley looks[2:15:05]   like fabio giant muscles very long gray hair and he's blowing brendan's life he's doing raps m&m[2:15:11]   wraps this rules what do you not get what kind of life are you even living[2:15:19]   that may that's the most disheartening thing in whenever we get into a discussion like this and[2:15:24]   they're stressed out because i feel like i can never explain if that doesn't explain it these[2:15:29]   people need to put a bullet in their heads really they do their brains are are so broken to think[2:15:36]   that this is anything but a game all right you got to hear this message brendan sent to hella[2:15:43]   mark this breaks our heart it doesn't really break our heart[2:15:50]   it doesn't break our heart this rules it doesn't even rule just forget all that stuff[2:15:55]   yeah but it is good this is the voice message brendan sent to hella mark harley after watching[2:16:02]   hella mark's appearance on our show listen to this what's up brother um decide to send your[2:16:10]   voice note and say not to text you i don't you know wait wait wait how does somebody have the[2:16:16]   guts to send a voice note to somebody i mean i get voice notes or something aren't you fucking like[2:16:22]   how do you have the nerve how do you have the stage presence to send a voice note to somebody[2:16:28]   i'd be so insecure to send a voice note oh hello hi and i'm on the radio i don't know how people[2:16:39]   have the guts to send a voice note you know always always send vague texts that's it how[2:16:46]   could you even sense i am always surprised by people well he probably sent a voice note because[2:16:49]   he thinks that that means you can't screenshot it but you can just brendan's that dumb yeah where[2:16:54]   he goes dude if i send a voice note that way he can't screenshot and save it because it deletes[2:16:59]   right no all right listen to this is the voice note from brendan to hella mark[2:17:07]   what's up brother um decide to send your voice note and say not to text you i don't you know[2:17:15]   for a few reasons um i don't know man i've been complaining whether hitting you back up um you[2:17:23]   seem really upset obviously i'm hurt man if you want to hurt me you got me brother you definitely[2:17:29]   got me you hurt me um i don't understand it i don't and this is from hela mark being on our[2:17:35]   show you hurt me we caused this that's all i need that gives me a lifeline that gives me energy[2:17:47]   the fact that we're out there causing this hurt by having hela mark on something that[2:17:51]   we frivolously did with not a concern in the world about who it's affecting that to me[2:17:58]   is the stuff the world's made out of and now you got brendan[2:18:02]   doing a sad voice note to hela mark harley it gets worse i still consider your friend uh[2:18:10]   it's it's weird i'm not even mad i'm not i'm not even mad you know i'm not even mad i'm not i don't[2:18:16]   know why it's weird not mad just hurt man i'm sad about it um[2:18:23]   you're a friend man you're it's amazing how people even have the patience for this crap anymore[2:18:27]   if hela mark harley did that to me i was like goodbye hela mark bye and that's that there's[2:18:33]   no trying to even think about it you know what i mean nobody's even gonna like if on brendan's[2:18:38]   side hela mark is exposing all this shit about you you can just be like fuck off bye and never[2:18:43]   speak to him again exactly dude i thought you it's like you guys are all playing some kind of[2:18:49]   sick fucking game with your lives where you're really like this shouldn't even bother you[2:18:54]   you're a father you got a beautiful wife wait till you see this valentine's day photo i'm gonna[2:18:58]   show you i'm gonna do a zoom in on that's on the baggie part that i like for anyone confused this[2:19:03]   is a voice message of brendan sending to hela mark yeah who's confused just saying oh yeah this is[2:19:09]   of course brendan to hela mark after hela mark appearing in the show if you're into hela mark[2:19:14]   stuff the fighter and the kid reddit has and by the way i'm hela mark's friend i don't care if[2:19:19]   he's cringe you know this is never about somebody just being cringe and i'll tell you this if i[2:19:28]   during the term and period that i like hela mark it is okay to like hela mark[2:19:34]   if i like somebody it is perfectly okay and they're perfectly fine[2:19:40]   i might start hating hela mark if i discover hela mark secrets or turn real quick but to me[2:19:46]   hating somebody should always be deceit based is this person deceitful it always comes down to[2:19:53]   deceit lying and that lying there's a subtlety to this lying thing too uh the lying thing has[2:20:04]   to be done out of deceitfulness and not stupidity i don't really mind if somebody's lying because[2:20:11]   they're too stupid like dave portney he's so dumb that's why he does all this stuff[2:20:17]   and you should be able to notice the difference it's not just good or bad people aren't just good[2:20:21]   or bad there's levels and uh i think this is very important there's levels of hating like[2:20:28]   we cover mark norman on the show he's a good example of somebody that we hate but we don't[2:20:33]   really hate him he's fine there's a guy right he doesn't need to be destroyed and there are people[2:20:41]   that it's like yes they they suck we hate them but they don't need their lives destroyed you[2:20:47]   know they're not the same kumia needs his life destroyed he's a person that needs to be put to[2:20:54]   bed i would say probably kumia and crystalier the two number ones that denny their lives[2:21:02]   and denny but also already has his life that denny is more personal than the first two yeah[2:21:09]   denny is that's more of our personal i would take my own life if it meant denny goes down[2:21:17]   i would take your life i would commit a triple amasa that one just kidding of course i'm kidding[2:21:22]   he's a shoe happy guy i'm kidding um but you got to understand there are levels and the only time[2:21:30]   you should really even be thinking about these people is during the entertainment portion of[2:21:36]   enjoying them and then you need to get over it you can't have personal vendettas with comedians[2:21:43]   throughout your life because they're stupid and their jokes weren't good you just can't and this[2:21:49]   is coming from me mike deada listen to this friend uh it's it's weird i'm not even mad i'm not even[2:21:58]   mad you know i'm not mad i'm not i don't know why it's weird not mad just hurt man i'm sad about it[2:22:08]   you're a friend man you're a really good friend you don't have a ton of friends[2:22:13]   it is what it is you know i have a ton of friends or i don't he gets in trouble with this a lot[2:22:18]   because he slurs his eyes wheeze and he's we'll see this coming up later[2:22:25]   brendan gets in a lot of trouble because of his mush mouth and a lot of eyes are confused with[2:22:31]   wheezer theys it's like you'll see what i mean wheezer theys robin tran yeah wheezer theys[2:22:40]   robin tran i hate it they i really do i hate a proner you know what my pronouns are[2:22:48]   you know what my pronouns are[2:22:51]   nigger[2:22:51]   kiss my[2:23:00]   we've got some great rosanne stand-up coming up uh today and you know what's so sad everybody has[2:23:06]   showed you rosanne stand-up but just from the trailer nobody will do the work and actually[2:23:11]   watch the rosanne stand-up show like we did they just all people do is every show they only cover[2:23:20]   what's been presented to them on twitter there's no show that actually watches something they're[2:23:27]   covering it's a disgrace like if you asked ethan klein did a whole thing on the leftovers with[2:23:34]   hisan piker dissing rosanne for an hour and you go did you watch the special fuck no i would never[2:23:41]   okay this is all we do we watch everything we talk about we watch from front to back[2:23:49]   and that's why we've got a great new take on the rosanne stand-up that you're not going to believe[2:23:52]   you haven't heard it anywhere else i can't believe you haven't heard it anywhere else[2:23:56]   you know what the one stand-up i can't watch jim jeffrey's we cannot watch jim jeffrey's news[2:24:03]   but i'm stuck because you know what he's gonna do you're americans with your guns you're obsessed[2:24:09]   with god i can't i hate australians i'll say it and i love pia and kane kane and pia they're the[2:24:17]   only ones i actually really do love them like a family i do you guys know kane and pia[2:24:25]   they first got us i've never seen a tit woman turn into actually the best woman out there i mean[2:24:32]   pia mackenbacher with those two giant knockers i mean these knockers were so big that i was like[2:24:38]   when i first saw her this is me i mean i've never seen and i'm not a knockers guy[2:24:48]   i'm not a knockers guy you know jules i'm not a knockers guy these are you ever i mean guys[2:24:55]   out there that aren't knockers guys and then you see a pair of knockers that make you go am i a[2:25:00]   knockers and i'm not even into not most knockers tits kazoomas to me the funniest body part of a[2:25:10]   woman is these two giant globs they got hanging out there of course god knows what they're doing[2:25:16]   with them but most of these big knockers only look good in clothes and when you see them breast[2:25:21]   implanted knocker outside of clothes it pretty looks pretty stupid you know and there's a lot[2:25:28]   of knockers out there like i've seen a lot of girls where you're like oh these are the best[2:25:33]   knockers look at these things and then you find a picture of them nude by typing their name and[2:25:40]   nude into google and then you go oh and the tit the nipple which i call the tit i hope tits are[2:25:47]   nipples to people tits aren't the whole boob tit is a nipple to me sometimes you see a girl and[2:25:53]   she's got these great knockers and then you see the tit and it's the size of a dime and you go[2:25:59]   what's wrong or you see a girl and her nipples too big and you go[2:26:03]   and then you go i wish it was just clothes how's my clothes knocker oh we're not talking about that[2:26:08]   i go like this how's my size pathetic me and you got nothing to talk about here we got two stupid[2:26:17]   fucking bodies nobody's kosher sex it's nice i'd like to put a lot of diamond crystal salt[2:26:24]   and your nipples to those things dry up and i could break them off[2:26:28]   that actually gave me more of a cringe than the vagina part okay let's get through this[2:26:32]   a lot of people only tune in for the news of brenda you know what's another bad thing[2:26:38]   being and i see this all the time and i like this guy you know i don't strike him too lazy to try[2:26:44]   even though i was kind of upset with too lazy to try this youtuber i do my hello mark harley[2:26:50]   interview and if you're listening too lazy to try you need to like me and i feel like he's[2:26:57]   one of these guys he doesn't like me and too lazy to try as a youtuber is like today brendan[2:27:03]   shaw he's got that picture of george castanza he posted my hello mark harley interview before we[2:27:09]   were even able to post the episode but i mean you would do that to someone else come on i know but[2:27:14]   it's like guys this is me i don't want to be treated like what i would treat someone else[2:27:23]   you know and i really don't want people posting clips of us he posted the whole hello mark harley[2:27:28]   interview by the way sheila aliens just messaged me and was like do you want me to take down all[2:27:33]   of my clips because i will no no no no no if you haven't been asked to take down a clip i'm very[2:27:37]   listen it all depends there's listen everything is uh what do they call it nuanced is that a[2:27:44]   thing shuttle and nuance tease listen there's many different there's no hard infest rules with[2:27:53]   anything in life if you're a clipper and i find you to be a decent hearted person yes you are[2:27:58]   allowed to steal my content and upload it poorly but if you're a it just i have to see the clip if[2:28:06]   it makes me mad i hate it if it makes me happy and i think you're fine you're up it's all the gut[2:28:14]   and uh you know it might be very confusing to some people and that's fine but there's a lot[2:28:20]   of people out there right now that really want to just hear this brendan voice message and i[2:28:26]   want to tell those people that's not good i don't want people tuning into this show just to get the[2:28:32]   quick hit of fools news that's why i bury you an exhausting jewish band i mean if you were coming[2:28:39]   here just to get news about comedians there's many other places to go so and that's why i don't[2:28:44]   like when people just clip the part that they want to hear and i don't like when people fast[2:28:48]   forward to the part where i'm not here for you to just get your little fix of what you need to hear[2:28:53]   it's not what this is and there is a scene on youtube where they only it's like they're just[2:29:00]   news junkies addicted to the new gossip and nothing more and i feel like that's something[2:29:07]   i want to talk people out of you know and you see it with these streamers and that's why i[2:29:12]   mentioned too lazy to try the audiences that they build up they want a quick fix hit of these[2:29:19]   updates but it's two different things exactly what i'm saying is i don't think it's nice[2:29:27]   to fall into that category where you're not enjoying anything and you're just waiting for[2:29:31]   the next update of something that's called a news addiction you know that's a refresh pull down[2:29:39]   spin wait for a new thing and you're addicted to that and people are addicted to it they need a[2:29:45]   new update from the computer from striking too lazy to try no no no no no i would never strike[2:29:52]   too lazy to try too lazy to try i respect too lazy to try um i would ask him i wouldn't even[2:29:59]   reach out to him because i know he'll get offended very quick i'd ask you to track please if you're[2:30:04]   going to clip something from our show at least wait until our listeners i'm a big spoilers[2:30:10]   guys that well i'm asking it's not enforcing if i was going to enforce it i would enforce it i'm[2:30:16]   not enforcing i'm pleading what i'm saying is i like when a listener listens to our show and it's[2:30:23]   a surprising thing so don't clip our stuff because these guys can't wait and then they'll be waiting[2:30:30]   for our show to come up and they'll watch the clips and then you've spoiled the episode where[2:30:34]   maybe this would be a fun reveal but i think that people for somebody like to have the experience[2:30:41]   coming from you unspoiled they'll create that situation for themselves and they will come to[2:30:46]   the show and the guys who are addicted to getting everything right away will get it anyway so[2:30:51]   but i think that there's a crossover group of guys that don't know what they want[2:30:56]   and they're spoiling their own fun by watching these clips and uh to see me in low resolution[2:31:04]   all right here is the call the control freak which is a good thing[2:31:08]   control freak that's the name of my hair product right now i use control freak i bought it at um[2:31:15]   it's called bed head control freak i bought it at walgreens it's the most expensive[2:31:20]   i'm kidding i use eight different products and by the way i had a guy asked me mike what hair[2:31:24]   products to use i sent him a photo personally of what i used if you want that photo email me[2:31:30]   i'll hook you up i'll fix you up all right here's the damn message brendan shab sees hella mark on[2:31:37]   our show reaches out to hella mark with this set obviously i'm hurt man if you wanted to hurt me[2:31:45]   if you wanted to hurt me you got me brother you definitely got me so we hurt him um i don't[2:31:50]   understand it i don't i still consider your friend uh it's it's weird i'm not even mad i'm not even[2:31:57]   mad i'm sad i'm not even mad i'm not i don't know why it's weird not mad just hurt man i'm sad[2:32:04]   imagine if i was sad or hurt you'd be done with me you've been hurt before yes i can think of[2:32:12]   very hurt exactly but i don't come on the show going hurt him hurt him hurt oh i'm hurt right now[2:32:18]   i guess brendan didn't really come on the show either but this is on the show if you do it any[2:32:23]   voice message is the show i'm not sending you don't hear any voice messages of me out there[2:32:27]   recording of your voice is a show it's a show um you're a friend man you're a really good friend[2:32:35]   you don't have a ton of friends um it is what it is i hope you're doing okay brother oh please oh[2:32:42]   you hope hella marks um what's going on if you got anything i'm here i don't know what you're[2:32:48]   dealing with if you need anything i'm here something told me to hit you up he's dealing with[2:32:55]   having a blast finally being appreciated he's got some attention finally people are appreciating[2:33:01]   hella mark harley that's what it is he's not hurt he's not sad he's not going through anything[2:33:10]   he goes you know what i worked for this brendan shub turns out the commenters were right about[2:33:16]   him i can't wait to tell everybody about my experience that's it he's not going through[2:33:21]   anything don't gaslight hella mark if you need anything i'm here if you need anything i don't[2:33:27]   know what you're dealing with um something told me to hit you up despite all the bullshit we're[2:33:34]   dealing with he is dealing with bullshit i truly truly love you like a brother oh yeah you were[2:33:40]   great for me man please you were you're a good dude and um i miss you man i hope you're okay[2:33:47]   he why wouldn't he be okay and it is what it is you have you know you feel the way you feel and[2:33:54]   that's valid if that's the way you feel man and i wish i could change that i don't i don't know[2:33:58]   what to do you know but uh yeah i hope you're okay man that's it so interesting enough you know[2:34:05]   hello mark kind of offered some you know he nudged us in a way uh saying that maybe brendan is[2:34:13]   unfaithful to his latina wife and by latina i mean this is a full unhealthy burrito type girl[2:34:23]   i mean really i hate brendan chop's wife i feel like she's a complete dipshit uh he hooked up[2:34:32]   with her and knocked her up and did the crystalia where you knock somebody up so i gotta make her[2:34:39]   the wife brendan chop hates his wife we know this we know he's cheated on her many times[2:34:44]   and when hella mark came uh you know to the internet saying maybe brendan does have a[2:34:51]   roaming eye right brendan decided to be like logan paul where he transparently[2:34:58]   needs to show us it's like when you when crystalia gets outed for his sex crimes he starts posting[2:35:04]   his kids and how much he loves his wife when logan paul gets uh you know in this controversy for[2:35:12]   not believing in god then all of a sudden he posts this uh thing about the infinite universe[2:35:19]   and how it's created it's so transparent and it's it's pr and brendan did some pr on valentine's[2:35:26]   day wait till you see this uh do we have the picture here um jewels next next up brendan[2:35:34]   chop crazy photo of wife let's see i'm blocked there's a facebook link as well let's check out[2:35:40]   the facebook link and hopefully this isn't the edit here many of you have seen this photo but[2:35:46]   we're going to do what's called a valentine's day zoom in get me some romantic music please[2:35:53]   jewels before i throw this picture on the screen any music will do it doesn't even have to be that[2:35:58]   romantic but i want to show you what a living case idea looks like yes and here she is brendan[2:36:07]   posted this wait let me read the caption first brendan posted this saying not sure how i got[2:36:16]   so lucky but i'll take it thanks life thank you for being the rock of our amazing family[2:36:25]   me and the boys were so lucky happy valentine's day boo and he posted this picture which leads[2:36:32]   me to believe that either his screen is too low res or he is not wearing proper[2:36:41]   uh prescription glasses because this picture coming up and this is a perfect[2:36:47]   wait can you get me like music from the motion picture desperado see if you can get me like[2:36:54]   mexican desert music because i got something for you that is like uh dust till dawn coming up[2:37:04]   coming up there we go perfect this is what he posted[2:37:15]   you've got the face[2:37:19]   you've got the knockers and ladies and gentlemen my favorite piece[2:37:28]   the hockey sack[2:37:38]   double dribble[2:37:42]   look at that[2:37:47]   what she got hiding down there boys[2:37:50]   boys all right i mean this picture speaks for itself i mean what kind of satchel[2:37:58]   and her stomach is all deranged i mean look at the stomach here[2:38:03]   and then you scroll down and it's like did you not see this do you think this is enormous i mean[2:38:10]   you have everyone has instagram have you ever seen an instagram model post one of these[2:38:15]   this girl might be trans[2:38:30]   it's public photo i know but i just you're not allowed to zoom in on photos that people post[2:38:35]   publicly it's hard to look at yes it is hard to look at she admits ladies and gentlemen this song[2:38:43]   in this sack while i smoke weed[2:38:51]   let's move this[2:38:55]   look at that i'll just let you see it for a second no other shows doing this no other show has the[2:39:03]   guts no other show has the sack this is bigger than my fucking nuts to tell you the truth jules[2:39:11]   if i got a ball shack that big you would be in heaven my balls are half the size of that sorry[2:39:26]   i mean this is proof that brendan is just what kind of guy when everyone in the world is after[2:39:31]   him on his biggest week of being attacked of all time that's almost that's proof that he's just[2:39:39]   so dumb he's almost like a kid this bitch has been taking hella marks pre-workout where they're[2:39:45]   down there with that pump oh i really i want this to be maybe we'll redo the tvs with just[2:39:52]   many of these i mean what is that did she take a little shit[2:39:57]   me pussy is filled with shit miss your brandon it is me your wife brandon my pussy is filled[2:40:08]   with the doody i made the doody in my pussy is this what you want dude i got hating brendan but[2:40:18]   going after his wife it's just over the line no this is over the line if i had a line right here[2:40:27]   over the line let's smoke some weed while we look at that[2:40:57]   yeah i'm getting her off that's sa i don't care want to see some other gags i'll do with this[2:41:12]   yes perfect match[2:41:20]   yeah this is the perfect banana's time there what else what else could it be[2:41:28]   so[2:41:36]   nope bigger than a mouse well there it is i hope you guys get the point and if you're[2:41:42]   gonna post these pictures of your wife this is what's gonna happen and what is this hair[2:41:47]   is that hair coming out utterly disgusting and again brendan posted this is a way to be like[2:41:57]   how could i be cheating on my wife if i just posted this pic of her for valentine's day[2:42:03]   the music got a lot less mexican well there she is what do the people think what's the response[2:42:08]   from that are people did they love it here i'll read the comments from brendan's instagram that[2:42:13]   you can't view oh okay yeah let's hear some of these comments these comments all have thousands[2:42:17]   of likes they say who the fuck posts a picture of their wife like this he must be in the doghouse[2:42:23]   this is a weird movie he's in the doghouse out of every picture you have you choose this one[2:42:28]   wife like this is what my wife's like here why would you post this what the hell is wrong with[2:42:33]   you so why how does this guy even have fun if if i posted something on instagram and everybody was[2:42:38]   saying this i'd kill myself what kind of a life is this that everybody's having you gotta fix this[2:42:46]   brendan you can't go on like this with 112 000 people doing this to you every day stand up for[2:42:52]   yourself for god's sakes or quit you can't just sit there and go yeah dude my wife boss and that[2:43:00]   is something his mustache cuts off here it would be like if i cut off my mustache right here it's[2:43:06]   doesn't make any sense that's something that hello mark said when he was talking about doing social[2:43:11]   media for brendan and the fighter and the kid he was starting to use the fighter and the kids like[2:43:16]   shabisms and kind of like oh really to them because well he says that he said to brendan[2:43:23]   like come on if we play along with these guys yeah and we get our fans to start using these[2:43:29]   shabisms then people will know if it's a fan or a hater when they say that which is no dude[2:43:35]   and he's not doing that dude so he's not so brendan's like terrified to this reddit[2:43:39]   he doesn't want to fight back you know he's got ptsd from it and i mean that probably would have[2:43:44]   worked so it's amazing it really is amazing what this guy's going through uh you know and it's like[2:43:52]   what's the point how is this any fun how could this be any fun you know this is a traumatic he[2:43:57]   needs to stand up for himself and speak he needs to stop this reddit you know he needs to win[2:44:07]   brendan come on oh i thought there was going to be a great song[2:44:11]   uh yeah i think that would be nice is what else happened with hela mark this week did he post any[2:44:15]   uh provocative screenshots or stuff there's so much stuff but too much it's too much and again[2:44:21]   we don't care like i said if you like we care if it's easy we care if it's really easy and[2:44:27]   almost handed to us i mean i do care but it's you know what i care about i care about a little bit[2:44:34]   finger in kalila this is getting to be a repulsive show i'm just trying to go in a sexy[2:44:41]   mood no i'm not in a sexy mood i'm in a repulsive mood i think that you've been way hornier lately[2:44:47]   i've got high tea i got a lot of high tea and guys i would tell you if i was taking this[2:44:52]   testosterone i would tell you you never cheat to win you never cheat to win if i took testosterone[2:44:59]   it didn't tell you it would be as good as me being a liar a scammer a con artist it's cheating to win[2:45:10]   um it's all in the same boat to me so i take that like i tell you everything that i'm on right now[2:45:17]   and i always have i think it's very important to be transparent of what you're on this whole[2:45:23]   country is either on adderall or eight different rx's to keep their mental stability nice and they[2:45:30]   think that they could use that and come on camera it's like that's cheating how do you not understand[2:45:36]   that's cheating taking a xanax and whatever ethan klein's on to get through the day it's cheating[2:45:42]   because otherwise you're sitting at home going how could he do it how could he do it must be the most[2:45:47]   confident man in the world he's able to come on here when 10 million people hate him and they're[2:45:51]   all after him and he's just sitting there he's on pills pills is cheating you should have to[2:45:58]   suffer those consequences of the enemies you made you know using your own your own shit you you[2:46:06]   can't be muted you can't use a a happy pill or xanax that's why i was after joey diez who by the[2:46:14]   way it's his birthday today you're living in a fucking fool's paradise happy birthday let's do[2:46:19]   a happy birthday song for joey diez you want to pass me that acoustic guitar we'll see what we[2:46:23]   could can we get an album from joey diez actually excuse me what does that mean a little clip of him[2:46:30]   singing today and send me this yeah it's joey diez his birthday but why did i bring him oh yeah that[2:46:35]   it's like with joey diez in the xanax it's like no you're not a tough guy you're sitting around[2:46:40]   talking about a tough year you're on xanax you're couldn't be more of the opposite of a tough guy[2:46:46]   you need a pill to make you not scared you know we used to get bullied on the schoolyard are you[2:46:53]   scared look he's scared being scared was the gayest thing you could do so there's no bravery[2:47:00]   and being like oh i'm scared motherfucker so i take this pill so that i don't cry and get scared[2:47:07]   and that's just as good as being scared you know so um yeah that stuff uh i feel is unfair and if[2:47:18]   i was taking anything that's why i'm telling you here's what i'm drinking here's what i'm smoking[2:47:23]   this is four drinks this is five drinks this is one puffaroo i feel like it needs you need to know[2:47:30]   otherwise you don't know how a guy's handling anything[2:47:33]   i uh if you have anxiety it's fine curl up in bed lights off no tv and lay on your side shaking[2:47:47]   yeah that's fine but you can't come on and do a podcast and take a pill that mutes your anxiety[2:47:52]   for two hours and then pretend that you're cool but mike booger's the same this is fake it's[2:47:57]   what it's fake what i can't drink i have a eight diseases the weed is his spirit an american spirit[2:48:07]   oh well i start the show you saw me sober at the beginning of the show there's no difference[2:48:11]   same guy and i've showed you you know i sit here for eight hours i could drink 15 drinks[2:48:17]   i'm still a nice guy doesn't get all crazy there's no change in person he doesn't change from the[2:48:24]   beginning to that he just gets nicer and more welcoming you know which is something podcasts[2:48:30]   don't even do anymore okay uh we had joey diaz's birthday i want to celebrate this right by playing[2:48:35]   a song about his daughter no should i do i don't have anything planned i just thought what if i[2:48:40]   grabbed an acoustic guitar yeah let's do it cut to the break sign cut to the break sign[2:48:44]   and i'm gonna grab this acoustic guitar this is not planned but i know how much my boys joey[2:48:50]   diaz and sam tripoli love songs and what better time to sing a song than on their birthdays[2:48:56]   and jewels will hook me up with that and hopefully i'll find a pick i'm really nervous now[2:49:03]   i need a pick uh most importantly i know i threw one in here somewhere see if you could find one[2:49:07]   around the room there's got to be a pick of any kind i could use any kind this is a joke song[2:49:13]   we got to be quicker than than this though we're losing my uh[2:49:16]   i found a pick but i found a good one that i like thank you so much give me that[2:49:25]   oh am i under pressure here hold on don't cut back to me yet[2:49:32]   okay let me find a nice tune[2:49:40]   hold on[2:49:40]   i i want to let me just find something else okay all right bring me back[2:49:52]   so it's joey thank you everybody yes thank you[2:49:58]   it's joey diaz's birthday i wanted to sing a song about his daughter[2:50:01]   i'm coming for your i'm coming for your daughter i'm coming for her[2:50:11]   i see joey diaz hit a park[2:50:16]   kill his daughter with a gun[2:50:19]   get into hiding[2:50:23]   watching his daughter change and i don't mean the money kind i'm talking about a reef[2:50:32]   reef we're seeing your daughter as much as we want we're doing anything that we want[2:50:42]   we're touching her wherever we want her age don't matter it's barely a thing[2:50:52]   happy birthday to you happy birthday to you[2:50:59]   happy birthday to you what will i do to the daughter[2:51:10]   you can't protect her from me thank you joey diaz[2:51:16]   you're living in a fucking fool's paradise send it to him now don't forget it's just a song it's[2:51:20]   like mmm it's just like mmm send that to joey now and we'll see what he says at the uh end of the[2:51:26]   show you want me to take that back so you don't break it behind you that's okay that's okay we'll[2:51:34]   get it back later speaking of songs listen to this is what we came up with joey diaz actually[2:51:41]   has something that we want and it's his voice you know i always noticed some record players[2:51:50]   in his studio and i noticed some guitars and i always thought um well i didn't know joey diaz[2:51:57]   was like in the music you know to me but you know what now it does make sense because you know what[2:52:02]   he's a big actor he's an actor you know we think of joey diaz as a mafia member a goomba uh the guy[2:52:11]   from the soprano he looked very much like this pussy character from the sopranos i mean they[2:52:16]   really looked identical so you think of him like that but then you go wait wait wait joey diaz[2:52:22]   does stand-up comedy uh mobsters don't really do stand-up and then you wait joey diaz is also[2:52:33]   holds a paper waiting in the audition room nervously trembling to audition for a role[2:52:41]   you go i don't know if mobsters are like part of the theater and then i see this guitar and this[2:52:48]   uh record player in a studio and i go he's into music interesting maybe he's really not a mobster[2:52:56]   i mean he's very talented worldly artistic mobster um i don't even know now you know from[2:53:05]   how much he exaggerates you know knowing what we know about him now and how much he like kind[2:53:09]   of little lies all the time exaggerates have we really heard any stories about joey diaz's past[2:53:17]   that weren't from him and you want to know something i always thought that his former[2:53:24]   incarceration was because he like yeah listen to this listen to this napped someone and like did[2:53:30]   all of this soprano shit to some guy yeah kidnapping remember this no i'm not gonna we're[2:53:36]   not gonna expose him or anything but somebody posted his actual criminal rap sheet on the[2:53:42]   bbg yeah let's uh now say that's joey diaz and joey diaz he's uh made a lot of money and he's[2:53:49]   got a lot of fame people think he's really cool because he's he's a bad boy okay he's broken[2:53:54]   actually where but it was something i can't a daycare i can't like it wasn't i can jules[2:54:01]   i'm telling you i can remember let's hear it joey diaz he goes here's what happened joey diaz[2:54:07]   told a bunch of fucking fibs to joe rogan joe rogan believes any fib[2:54:17]   remember when joe rogan glanced at the internet once and saw an article about how uh[2:54:25]   there's a kid who identifies as a cat so they installed a litter box at the school[2:54:30]   remember when he glazed over a headline that said that and then a week later told us on a show[2:54:37]   that his friend is a teacher and this headline that he glazed at he just used as his own story[2:54:46]   and said yeah my uh my uh my teacher is a friend they had to install a litter box at her school[2:54:53]   because the kid identifies as a cat that was not your friend that was a story that you read and[2:54:59]   guess what the story was faked it was a troll it was a joke article but joe just took that[2:55:08]   interpreted and then told that story as many times as he possibly could before called out[2:55:14]   that it was fake the only stories we've heard about joey diaz stem from either joey diaz himself[2:55:21]   or joe rogan now when joe's in a good mood and he wants to hear what he wants to hear he's[2:55:27]   basically going to believe anything that's ever been said to him so joey diaz tells him all these[2:55:34]   remarkable stories you know yeah these stories that seem to get longer and longer when he[2:55:40]   notices people are laughing at them you know oh joey's is so funny he's got amazing stories[2:55:46]   i better come up with a bunch more amazing stories before i do you think he's not at home coming up[2:55:52]   with more amazing sir most of joey diaz's little stories are made up lies by a theater kid a big[2:56:00]   fat ugly theater kid who never got laid he wasn't a cool mafia guy he was this fat attention-seeking[2:56:09]   theater kid so joey diaz has been telling this wild tale that he uh oh yeah kidnapped the guy[2:56:16]   and put him in my trunk and i got a bus and people are like hey man what can you do he was a mobster[2:56:21]   this guy probably owed him money he threw him in the back of the trunk and uh you know[2:56:26]   it's a pretty cool scene from breaking bad or something no no no this was like allegedly[2:56:35]   like he just went crazy and like sexually assaulted someone or some shit and[2:56:41]   right i mean he was but it was that he like brought a gun to his daughter's preschool or[2:56:48]   something yeah like this isn't like a crime of like a cool guy it's not like i mean he just[2:56:54]   like went psycho take those two anecdotes with a grain of salt yes exactly i said allegedly what[2:57:00]   it is but listen to this i got his legal record somebody sent me all his legal records and it[2:57:06]   wasn't as impressive as what he would leave you to believe it was all like psycho shit that like[2:57:13]   it's that's not cool at all crimes but also like yeah it wasn't like he kidnapped a dude[2:57:20]   coolly and it wasn't like the reservoir dogs with the trunk open that he's like[2:57:25]   yeah yeah buddy save it shuts the trunk again waiting for the boss to come or something[2:57:30]   nothing like that it was like he's psycho like domer i don't know like who could i compare him[2:57:38]   like who could i compare him to jared from subway type of he's sick great so you're just[2:57:44]   saying that song to domer i well i gotta show people that he's full of shitty this is a theater[2:57:50]   guy he doesn't beat people up he's not a henchman he's not coming after anybody doesn't know the[2:57:58]   gargini brother i mean he literally just sits there and spins stories these songs are allowed[2:58:04]   on tucker carlson's the death of comedy week yeah this is tucker carlson said comedy's dying[2:58:10]   i'm standing up for free speech so any republican out there who has a problem with these kids songs[2:58:17]   sorry you must uphold my freedom of speech don't forget we've never done anything to anyone's[2:58:22]   daughter joey diez has forced people's daughters to suck his dick for spots at the comedy store[2:58:27]   and joey did i i swear the this is what i got from somebody they sent me a bunch of joey diez legal[2:58:34]   documents i said thank you so much but it's like when somebody sends me a fool's phone number or a[2:58:40]   fool's house i go guys thank you i appreciate the offer but i'm not into going that low[2:58:48]   like a lot of people think making fun of someone's kids is below the belt it's not it's actually so[2:58:53]   stupidly above the belt the reason i'm doing it is to show you guys you got this little mixed up[2:59:00]   your order is right you just heard a bunch of really shitty guys who don't know how to handle[2:59:06]   their emotions tell you in movies man my daughter i'd do anything for my daughter i'd kill the man[2:59:13]   if you said a very word about my that's not a cool hip that should lead you to hate that person[2:59:23]   if somebody made fun of a family member of mine i wouldn't try to kill them that would show up[2:59:29]   that i'm that's murder the weak stupid one get it but we've all been brainwashed to go oh no[2:59:36]   dude you don't go after somebody's kids oh i can't make believe fantasy absurdly say that i'm gonna[2:59:45]   kill their kids it's like are you out of your mind and these are the same guys who are on tv[2:59:52]   like every day saying if you block us from saying one thing then what are you gonna exactly so[2:59:57]   that's what i mean if you're gonna all sit there and go oh tucker callston standing up for comedies[3:00:02]   doing a showing how there's uh comedies dead and cancel culture and i better not hear one[3:00:06]   well then don't try to cancel the most defensive comedy you just that alone if you go dude you[3:00:14]   can't go after someone's kids like that that alone should go oh i just understand this whole like[3:00:21]   pc war and how stupid this like you have to don't you don't you see you just got offended[3:00:29]   as a free speech guy there's no excuse and now you can see where the trans people are coming from[3:00:37]   right we did one stupid little song or like comment even i think that we only you only did[3:00:44]   the song when sam called you a pedophile we did one little joke about his stupid kid's helmet[3:00:50]   and they flipped out and now the only reason that you keep doing this is because in every post about[3:00:57]   you or comment people are like red bar is going too far this gives me the ultimate thrill okay if[3:01:02]   that's the ultimate thrill he talks about people's kids like the one thing about you that people just[3:01:07]   can't get over is that you and these are the people who are mad about kids and it's like we[3:01:12]   don't know these kids we're shooting these kids barely exist we're trying to get a rise out of[3:01:17]   these stupid idiots what don't you get and that is the thing you're like the kids aren't hearing[3:01:23]   any of this the thing that why are you so lost in this poetic my kids my kids are you m&m and now[3:01:31]   everyone has shown you the biggest troll that the thing that makes them the most furious that's the[3:01:38]   thing it's like okay so so now they don't like it when the trans people are offended they don't like[3:01:45]   it when black people are offended they don't like it when there's cancel culture when shane[3:01:48]   gillis can't get an snl for saying chinks and they get mad at everybody for doing that for being[3:01:55]   offended well i'm mad at you for being offended about the kid thing the kid thing is your your pc[3:02:03]   bro that's all it is your pc you're woke you can't do jokes about kids you're pretty pc i understand[3:02:12]   so you're part of the libs you're more of like a family you're more of like yeah you're more of[3:02:17]   like a clean comic that's fine pc so sam tripple's pc woke guy and i am a first amendment type of[3:02:28]   person so and not everybody can be first amendment not everybody not everybody has yeah can take the[3:02:38]   risk you know and lose their job and i'm being listen i've lost it all we're talking about[3:02:43]   people's kids karma i got this disease from karma sam tripple said it's because of talking shit[3:02:53]   so i'm able i took the consequence i lived with it i took a year off work i was in pain and you're[3:03:00]   for bed i'm able to take the consequences if you're able to not walk for a year then you could[3:03:07]   say whatever you want to but you you can't go around doing interviews with tucker carlson[3:03:14]   this deal about cancel culture if me and mike ever end up having a kid you can do whatever you want[3:03:20]   to it i almost want to have a kid and start doing whatever i want to it to show these people you[3:03:28]   know they get in this fantasy that you and the kid you don't even live with the fucking kid[3:03:32]   you love your kids so much why don't you live with them you know my dad loved me so much[3:03:39]   and it's two towns away really sam tripple estranged from his fucking kids brian callen[3:03:48]   estranged joey diaz estranged your kids you're visiting him as much you're like mike from[3:03:58]   breaking beds show it up oh look at my granddaughter at the park you did nothing to form[3:04:04]   this person get out of there pedo you're basically a pedo being around a kid but you have done[3:04:12]   nothing if you want to be mad about the kid jokes blame louis j gomez because his son was the first[3:04:17]   to receive them and he was like that's fine doggy exactly um yeah i mean these guys are just pc[3:04:25]   fucking pussies they're beta and uh you don't see me telling you oh no please stop making fun of[3:04:33]   anything i mean i get made fun of more than all these people and they say horrendous things about[3:04:38]   me when's the last time you ever saw me get mad i only get mad at her for liking rihanna for liking[3:04:46]   rihanna and shit like that that's the only time i'm ever mad so but we found something about joey[3:04:51]   diaz that we wanted to share with you he actually rules you're living in a fucking fool's paradise[3:04:58]   he um he's actually an amazing singer and i would really like to uh whatever we could do to get[3:05:07]   more from joey diaz if you guys could get this motherfucker to sing 100 prizes[3:05:14]   listen to what we discovered today this on joey's 59th birthday what what is his age today do we[3:05:21]   know it's a good question how old is joey diaz today oh mab the funeral of joey diaz's birthday[3:05:28]   today oh it's asha he's 60 wow joey diaz happy 60th birthday you know it he might be[3:05:38]   might be it's weird because it could definitely be somebody else but we haven't had a fool's death[3:05:45]   yet we haven't had an enemy's fool's death yet i've been doing this show for 20 years[3:05:50]   i've you know fisticuffs with all these guys right entwined[3:05:59]   we've never had a fool's death we've never had an enemy of ours die[3:06:03]   i am just so excited for our first because i don't know how what i'm gonna be am i gonna go[3:06:11]   guys you know what we hated him but seriously rip he's still i mean if joey would say rip wouldn't[3:06:18]   you that's what i don't know celebrate kumio's death probably do we do the first ever celebratory[3:06:29]   death stream like if joey diaz dies do we put pictures of him everywhere and do like this[3:06:35]   huge bonanza you know or will we feel and here's how you know you don't know if you really hate[3:06:42]   a fool till he dies and that day we'll tell you how you really felt about it what if joey dies[3:06:49]   and i go oh man you know people are saying you just celebrated michael layers you know what that[3:06:56]   was out of anger you know that was projection no that was projection you know i just i'm so mad[3:07:05]   that he took his own life rather than[3:07:12]   than have to deal with it what about if you die are we me and the boys here in the chat are we[3:07:18]   allowed to celebrate your death no so yeah oh yeah celebrate is like a big event yeah it'll[3:07:26]   be like a celebration of life oh i could care less but i'll tell them a lot of stuff there's[3:07:32]   nothing you can do that doesn't matter to me at all that doesn't matter to me at all even if i was[3:07:41]   out of town i wouldn't care if somebody told everything about me as long as i'm out of town[3:07:46]   but yeah will joey i i think joey might be the first one to die and i don't know i will i[3:07:54]   experiment i have like some weird old man exactly it could be something like that like he'll get[3:07:59]   cancer that sneaks up in a week but we do need to do and we do certain start thinking about it[3:08:04]   you know what it's almost like when your parents are getting old you got to start thinking about[3:08:08]   you know and make sure you've made arrangements right we need to start making arrangements for[3:08:13]   what if a fool dies do we have everything for their celebration on hand do we need to[3:08:19]   buy stuff for this what are we going to do um and i'll tell you this it's going to mean a lot to me[3:08:27]   when one of them dies you know i'm not going to just take it lightly i am going to you know[3:08:36]   because i was a part of that death whether you like it or not i was a part of that death[3:08:41]   it's one of the worst things in your life remember so uh yeah i don't know very weird[3:08:46]   and with michael lehr i'll just say this i was acting out uh with most of that and that's not[3:08:54]   very human of me to do and i don't recommend outside of doing this performatively you should[3:09:01]   never treat a man's death the way i treated michael lehr that it's not something to look up[3:09:06]   to or reenact um however i'll say this you gotta do what you gotta do jock stuff there was shock[3:09:14]   jock stuff but at the same time i go back and i think about how fucking annoying michael lehr[3:09:21]   was and how dare you know we just saw another retard comic on kill tony at least this guy had[3:09:26]   the decency to use like that we'll show that later yeah someone says you'll see size on z[3:09:33]   this is actually something somehow i've never thought of size on z actually made an insightful[3:09:38]   comment about these dads making public scenes to compensate for being bad fathers yes well there's[3:09:45]   that too so yes it's a little bit so they don't have to do anything for their kid they're never[3:09:49]   exactly but if they stick up for my kids on yes that's i think yes that's what it is well it's[3:09:56]   also no no it's also it's like when somebody's willing to go after your kid it's the most cucked[3:10:02]   you could be as a man it's the most insulting thing a person could do very disrespectful it's[3:10:07]   the most disrespectful thing someone could do so it really just comes down to that it's like[3:10:12]   you're not going to disrespect me like that not you you little fucking twink homo jew faggot like[3:10:18]   there's just no way if somebody did that to me you know it's very hard you just gotta look the other[3:10:24]   way but you still have to be strong enough to resist and you gotta give your kid to the people[3:10:30]   that's why i don't have a kid because i'm not willing to give it out to my enemy if you're[3:10:33]   an enemy of mine and you've had a kid you're a child abuser you've brought your kid into this[3:10:38]   world with me in it you should have known you should have known and you did know and you knocked[3:10:45]   up this woman accidentally you had a kid that you never see you're more interested in you know your[3:10:52]   xanax and your little fucking worries than you are about your kid if my dad ever had a worry in[3:10:58]   the world that was outside of how am i gonna get mike the tv i think he was a gay cuck your dad[3:11:07]   shouldn't be running around worried about his career in front of you he should be worried about[3:11:12]   you if you're ready to have a kid it's now the kid's turn you're there to make that kid amazing[3:11:17]   that's it that's your whole job you give up you you're done with you you you're supposed to have[3:11:22]   a kid once you've figured out you but they don't do that they have a kid before they even know who[3:11:28]   they is and then they don't do shit to the kid and then the kid grows up to be another one of[3:11:34]   these guys these guys another crap kid and then they're going to sit around and oh how dare you[3:11:40]   talk shit about my kid what are you saying how dare you have a kid you know so uh let's put them[3:11:48]   to the test every time you never back down and never take a movie's opinion which is if anyone[3:11:56]   never said anything nasty about my kid i'd kill them that's just from a movie folks that's not[3:12:02]   it's crazy how much that i got into it really got in the most common comment i see about you[3:12:08]   is people hating that you would say something about someone's kid exactly and these aren't[3:12:13]   like half chinese you know 14 year old girls who uh you know who are part of martin luther king[3:12:20]   no they're not they're guys who claim they love offensive comedy[3:12:26]   you don't love offensive comedy you're beta[3:12:30]   you're beta or you have kids so you're worrying that these kids are gonna get nobody is gonna ever[3:12:36]   say anything like what i'm saying to your kid into these embarrassing situations yeah but here's what[3:12:41]   you gotta think if you're like i have kids so i take offense to that it's like i would never do[3:12:46]   that to your kids so you don't have anything to worry about you have nothing to worry about[3:12:51]   it's only joey diez's shitty fake half kid and we only did that because he said that he was[3:12:59]   going to come and beat us up with a bat exactly sam tripoli called us pedophiles so we made his[3:13:06]   wish come true exactly so you don't have to worry we're not going to do it to your kid we're only[3:13:10]   going to do it to the worst shitty that is what it is because people are like i have a daughter[3:13:14]   anyone it's like yes if that happened to you that'd be very alarming good thing you're just[3:13:20]   a comment it's a good thing yeah that you're not part of the show so yeah you don't have to worry[3:13:28]   about that and but i don't don't go out and act like that to people this is only on tv stuff you[3:13:35]   don't do that outside of being on tv okay it has to make at least 10 people laugh or else it's[3:13:41]   hatred it's the same thing it's like you don't dm somebody hating on them look here's proof[3:13:48]   we're good guys people in the chat are saying babysit my kids they want us to take their kids[3:13:53]   oh i got a kid back at home right now he is stripped down waxed i have heard him[3:14:01]   no one will stop me i uh stuck i do this jewish shit to this kid and i train him[3:14:08]   it's really bad uh yeah uh oh this is yeah this is why we're here joey diaz i listen talent rules[3:14:18]   all right this is a loose show talent rules talk about all the things that we talk about behind[3:14:23]   your guys's backs yeah this is like a behind the scenes take uh i think this is very important[3:14:31]   because i was talking about how you you can't really hate these people too here's a man who's[3:14:36]   told me he wants me dead he wants me he doesn't want his dad okay he's just frustrated do we want[3:14:41]   him dead no we want him to have a career in music exactly and that's what i'm saying this one thing[3:14:47]   that we caught him doing is enough where now he rules i like him living in a fucking fool's[3:14:54]   paradise this is what we caught he's in the mirror looking very cute i gotta say and this is a great[3:15:01]   shot classic shot from cinema i mean we've seen this shot in cinema our whole lives[3:15:12]   eight mile we've seen this shot a lot where they're looking in the mirror and they're going[3:15:17]   get it together you're good enough but that's not what joey's doing at all[3:15:23]   he's actually warming up i think for his stage show and listen to what we caught here listen[3:15:29]   to this you hear that it's tough to hear but there's a vibrato on that last me that leads me[3:15:47]   to believe he's got a beautiful voice listen to this again my hairs are standing up when i at[3:15:54]   first i just heard me me me but as i listened further we listened to this about 37 times[3:16:01]   back at home this morning i heard a showman a crooner somebody who's just more than this this[3:16:10]   you know monster puddle that we see here listen[3:16:13]   me me me me me me me that's classic that's hollywood that's old hollywood that's a star[3:16:25]   getting ready me me me's warming up he cares about you maybe we were wrong about joey you're living[3:16:32]   in a fucking there he is oh yeah joey our hearts go out to you we hope this is water under the[3:16:38]   bridge i really want an album of him you know uh it's funny because tony hinchcliffe hates me this[3:16:44]   guy hates me uh a lot of these people in this they like really can't stand me they want me dead sam[3:16:50]   tripoli uh centeno wants me dead remember brian redband said he wants to go to chicago and kill[3:16:59]   this guy he goes oh santino wants to go to chicago and kill him but you know what i will say this[3:17:05]   i've always said the people who hate me most something wrong with them right and the good[3:17:11]   people seem to really not have a problem with me and they seem to you know they they see no issues[3:17:19]   there's no more proof of that then the recent friendship we've built with brian red band[3:17:26]   yes brian red band has emailed me again out of nowhere brian red band from kill tony[3:17:34]   you know uh tony hates my guts he's been screaming do we have the email here jules[3:17:40]   we'll read this to people here today and it's been an interesting back and forth[3:17:44]   let me screenshot it for you yeah or maybe oh i should probably pull out my laptop and email him[3:17:49]   back right but yeah screenshot it and get that out and then we'll uh we'll draft i'll just do[3:17:55]   it on my phone today but yeah well uh i forgot about this i did not respond to him this time[3:18:00]   also i love the title of your back and forth with red pen is still false copyright claim yes that is[3:18:07]   the subject of this from yeah from years ago and so far let's see since then we started emailing[3:18:17]   back and forth uh in on january of 2020 and we've had four exchanges here so far and this is the[3:18:29]   latest one look listen to this red band everyone's going red band gets it oh red band rules red band's[3:18:35]   nice red band is a sad sad man okay well i think red band is nice same i think red band is actually[3:18:43]   pretty much a really sweet guy and i actually when i like somebody i find everything they do funny[3:18:50]   and to me i want to watch red band like i want to hear from him i want to see him on[3:18:58]   but it's got to be the perfect situation uh let's see what next week when we get our new[3:19:02]   uh playstation thing should we do virtual red bar[3:19:08]   virtual red bar whoo that's enough let's think about it all right did you send me this i forwarded[3:19:14]   the email back to you oh that's all or do you want i'll just screenshot it hold on sorry i'm stupid[3:19:20]   um okay the last email he sent us and we didn't respond to this he says this[3:19:28]   um yeah that's why i wanted to screenshot yeah okay so yeah the last email from him this was[3:19:36]   november 24th 2022 he uh we wrote him and we said red band we'd love to see a special[3:19:43]   of yours we would die could you tape your stand up for us we would die to see your special we love[3:19:49]   you and he wrote back oh man you guys are always welcome at any of my shows i'll even put you on[3:19:55]   the guest list as far as recording or zooming i'm gonna have to pass but i might be recording[3:20:01]   special sometimes in the future uh it's something i've been putting off by the way that delay on the[3:20:06]   new ipad is bullshit i'm glad i'm not the only one that notices this it's ruined so many drops for me[3:20:13]   she's talking about like two years ago i had a delay on my ipad that's so cute but maybe he[3:20:18]   saw like a recent clip he don't know the dates between clips so we never responded to him from[3:20:24]   that but then he just emailed me again and i'll show you this and we'll try to figure out what[3:20:33]   it means here it is in purple here oh wait hopefully sorry for doxing your email but i'm[3:20:39]   sure everyone knows oh but they don't know red bands jesus you just screwed red band up no it's[3:20:44]   it's public it's public okay okay good i thought so yeah it's just it's redban at gmail.com so[3:20:50]   i'm sure people know well no they didn't know i was just trying to get out of it because you[3:20:55]   know you've said it audibly i'm just kidding sorry don't email him don't email him i'm sorry um[3:21:02]   he said this i just saw a clip from your last show i think with that centaur guy fuck that's[3:21:10]   hilarious so we kind of i just forwarded this to jules i didn't even think about it till now[3:21:17]   i don't even you know when he emails me i just get all excited that i'm talking to the[3:21:21]   co-creator of the joe rogan experience uh it's very exciting for me but then what is this[3:21:30]   actually about because i didn't even think about it oh really you know what's so funny remember i[3:21:34]   was playing hogwarts legacy the other day and i was in the forbidden forest and all these[3:21:40]   centaurs ran by me and i was like hey look it's hella mark harley so me and red bar of this i[3:21:46]   mean red band have the same mind i don't i still don't understand he's just talking about your[3:21:51]   interview with hella mark and saying he looks like a centaur how do you know that he said i[3:21:56]   just saw a clip from your last show i think with that centaur guy fuck that's hilarious[3:22:03]   that's what i got out of it maybe i'm wrong is there another you think hella mark harley[3:22:06]   is this centaur yeah kind of[3:22:12]   he's a human being i didn't even i i thought send i thought he must have been seeing some[3:22:19]   clip from seven months ago where i showed some news segment of a centaur attacking a mall or[3:22:24]   something a centaur's not let's get this straight a centaur is a mist uh fantasy it's not a thing[3:22:33]   right what is the center a man with a horse body yeah of course and you think hella mark harley has[3:22:39]   horse legs the moon is bright tonight[3:22:44]   okay uh so that's all he said i just saw a clip from your last show i think with that centaur[3:22:50]   guy fuck that's hilarious well what was so hilarious i don't recall anything being hilarious[3:22:58]   so should we write brian back and ask him what his top three most hilarious moments were[3:23:06]   no no no remember i'm trying to build a friendship here okay okay drive a man away[3:23:11]   so we've got the email away that's trying to cater to the show to make sure it's more[3:23:16]   hilarious for him in the future no i think i want to get i want to ask more of a sneaky thing i[3:23:23]   know something about what's going on with him he says i just saw a clip from your last show i think[3:23:27]   with that centaur guy fuck that's louis so yeah emma what did you say like thanks and then change[3:23:32]   the subject to something we want okay okay okay you know like there was an email question that[3:23:39]   we had for him the other day that we didn't end up talking about thank you so much brian[3:23:47]   one thing i would like to know for him from him is specifically what happened between tony and[3:23:53]   jeremiah can we work up to that i don't think you know what i don't think it's worth it we have[3:23:57]   one opportunity to really get something good nobody even cares about jeremiah anymore he's[3:24:02]   been ostracized to these really grody part of youtube so i think he's a lost cause so i go[3:24:10]   ha ha ha ah thank you so much brian um because obviously i mean he sent two emails we haven't[3:24:21]   responded to either of them i know so he's obviously really reaching out he really wants[3:24:25]   to be friends here so let's use this opportunity to build something with him haha thank you so much[3:24:32]   brian i've really we should hit him with a compliment i've really been enjoying you on kill[3:24:43]   tony your congrats on the new soundboard he got a new soundboard yep are you sure[3:24:52]   100 i just re-watched that this morning what did they say because i want to be very clear[3:24:58]   what did they say tony said oh he got a new soundboard so it's it's a big part i think he[3:25:03]   means he got a new sound on his soundboard and he's all excited and he just was quickly being[3:25:10]   soundboard app for the ipad oh okay i mean that's what i maybe i've really been enjoying you on kill[3:25:18]   tony the stuff you contribute[3:25:29]   is honestly[3:25:33]   it's honestly[3:25:34]   uh[3:25:40]   i really don't feel like email you ever when you're in a mood you're like i don't want to[3:25:43]   email right now i'm not in an email mood swipe it down just pause it for a second well we've[3:25:51]   got a big kill tony segment coming later maybe that will that segment perfect perfect you ever[3:25:57]   go oh i gotta do emails or maybe your aunt writes you and you have to write her back and you're like[3:26:03]   i guess i find that incredibly stressful oh god i gotta write back somebody so yeah i'm just not[3:26:10]   really in an email mood maybe you know what i'll tell you a funny story about email moods[3:26:17]   when i wake up in the morning uh i'm tired and i'm you know i really am not in the mood to email[3:26:25]   anybody until i have caffeine it's so funny how caffeine is almost like the email drug[3:26:30]   and you sit there dreading you know you open your phone and you're like okay i don't want to[3:26:34]   read anything i don't want to have any of these conversations yet i just want to see some nice[3:26:40]   light stuff work my way into the heavier lifting such as emails or the dreaded facebook message[3:26:50]   and i notice you know without fail every time you have a cup of coffee and pretty much in 10[3:26:57]   minutes you're ready to fucking email and you're really talking i mean caffeine have you guys heard[3:27:03]   of coffee no but i'm saying that is if there were any other drug that got you from being like[3:27:08]   horrified to talk to somebody to wanting to talk to somebody within 15 minutes i mean that's like a[3:27:13]   big thing so we're going to experiment with the drug caffeine here today on the show i've got[3:27:22]   this stuff here now i want to show you the stuff i've been taking this stuff is so great[3:27:27]   but i have this rule right why don't you get me some nice background music here like caffeinated[3:27:33]   background music so we're gonna try something how many hours are we into the show right now[3:27:38]   327 it's perfect time for a caffeine boost everybody and some caffeinated music and you know[3:27:46]   we talked about this earlier where i'm i can't show products on the show everybody accuses me[3:27:51]   of it being an ad and then in order to justify that it's not an ad to them i usually have to[3:27:58]   say the n-word all the time and then i end up saying this company is you know hates the other[3:28:04]   and that could also be you know also overkill you know what i mean and then the company no this is[3:28:11]   too caffeinated i hate that kind of music i hate that dude no no no no i hate this turn this off[3:28:16]   course turn this off now quickly i can't even go on until there's a um so yeah usually so i've come[3:28:23]   up with a new way to show products on the show without having to say the company hates niggas[3:28:30]   or niggas to prove that it's not an ad you know how i do that all the time and frankly by the way[3:28:37]   i'll tell you this i'm sick of being accused of this as an ad i hope you're all just joking[3:28:41]   because every time jules i want to show something on the show she goes don't show it on the show[3:28:45]   because they'll still think it's an ad and they'll be chatting and posting i hope you're just joking[3:28:51]   because we're not going to take that from you you either believe in my honesty or you don't[3:28:57]   but to say this is an ad this is an ad so now i'm doing you know how insane i would have to be[3:29:02]   how much of a bad person i would have to be you're literally you couldn't be more insulting than[3:29:09]   than accusing me of doing an ad but i've come i figured it out do we have that music this[3:29:14]   energizing music here nice three hours into the show every three hours we're[3:29:20]   going to do some of this you could show them the close-up[3:29:26]   pro trans juice can't get so yeah oh wait anti-trans juice of course you could really[3:29:37]   either of those well depending on what kind of yeah hey i'm not done look at this so of course[3:29:41]   how could this be an advertisement right if it says anti-trans juice no company would want that[3:29:51]   as their ad so this can't possibly be an ad right well then we thought wait a minute a lot of people[3:29:57]   are anti-trans so we thought of it all you flip it over oh i'm just having some pro trans juice[3:30:07]   so now i've offended any possible brand this is the hottest most offensive it can get you're[3:30:16]   either anti-trans or pro chance two of the most offensive things in this country so now you know[3:30:24]   this is um uh a shot that i'm gonna do i'm gonna rip this open in here here you can cut back to me[3:30:31]   in here is liquid and it's caffeinated liquid with some collagen protein[3:30:39]   and i found this to be really amazing so let's see if this is uh amazes me now there we go[3:30:45]   that's a good shot you can turn that up[3:31:04]   these are going to be flying off the shelves after they see me do one of these on red bar[3:31:08]   wait till you see the caffeine kick i'm gonna get from this you're gonna be[3:31:12]   killing me to find out what these really are[3:31:20]   i've been drinking about 16 of those a day i've stopped eating food because they say you need[3:31:25]   about a gram of protein for every uh pound you are so i've just been drinking as many packets[3:31:33]   of this they're 15 grams a packet i'll drink 110 i'll drink 100 to 200 of these[3:31:41]   a day to make sure i get enough protein and then i just won't eat anything else i just do this[3:31:46]   i just drink these and then liquor so that's what i've been doing[3:31:52]   here's everybody[3:32:09]   what is this band i like this word hog how's everyone liking warthog[3:32:16]   isn't it nice for a podcast says named big homie carlos says yo mike stop putting random[3:32:28]   fuel in you lmao fuck yeah stop putting random fuel in you i love that you know what i'm gonna[3:32:35]   send that guy a packet of my fuel random fuel gifted to you sir give us your address and i'll[3:32:45]   send you my fuel thank you so much for saying that yo i can't believe mexican people even watch[3:32:56]   imagine that i got a mexican guy never in my life did a mexican even give a shit about me[3:33:02]   my whole life i've been ignored by mexicans my whole life like mexicans in school never[3:33:07]   cared for me mexicans on the street never looked at me twice and this show has attracted quite a[3:33:14]   lot of mexicans i finally feel wanted by the hispanic community not many whites know what[3:33:22]   it's like to be admired by a mexican you guys pretty much keep to yourselves and you only[3:33:28]   admire movie stars selena gomez or something online but mexicans never interact with whites[3:33:35]   it's almost like they're afraid of them like every mexican who listens to the show you've[3:33:40]   never given a white person an ounce of your time she's dying laughing where did you get[3:33:46]   that's just i've never had a mexican person ever approached you and talked to you yes where[3:33:56]   uh to me mexicans like ignore me just like how i ignore like a 95 year old chinese lady[3:34:03]   like i have no business ever saying hi or interacting with that you know what i mean[3:34:08]   they're just a ghost and that's how mexicans have been treating me my whole life unseen[3:34:18]   so it's nice shout outs to carlos go if your last name is gomez[3:34:21]   you're part of it i don't think it's just big homie carlos oh well i there's a carlos gomez[3:34:29]   that i communicate with a lot email us you win a prize yeah and i don't even think of you guys as[3:34:34]   mexican you're all white to me under the the the typing of text that's the best part about[3:34:41]   messaging people you could imagine they're all white came up with a stand-up joke this is a[3:34:48]   perfect time to debut debutist dirty stand-up joke i came up with last night and i think this[3:34:55]   is pretty good this is a misogynistic stand-up joke you know i couldn't when i was making this[3:35:04]   note i couldn't spell misogynistic here's a misogynistic stand-up joke i've been working on[3:35:14]   so yeah i saw this guy and he's sitting there with his girlfriend and he goes i love this[3:35:24]   person i'm just so glad i met this person i love this person and i'm like to me a person is a guy[3:35:41]   wow misogynistic it's about the culture that could be so you can't say i love that you ever[3:35:51]   seen this guy oh i love this human is it a guy i just you know really love this person that's the[3:36:00]   only uh example i can think of i love this person this person or a girl and then yeah that got me[3:36:12]   thinking yeah a person could be a guy[3:36:19]   speaking of bad music this is uh you think i put you through some bad music you're gonna really[3:36:24]   appreciate the type of music we play here on red bar because the music on the show fucking rocks[3:36:30]   okay you know we like to give people a variety and most you know most of all we don't want to[3:36:34]   rob you if you're listening to our show for eight hours that means you've gotten eight hours with[3:36:39]   no music every other show wants to rob you from what you enjoy because they don't want to get[3:36:44]   demonetized they don't want to get striked here we take the risks because music needs to be a part[3:36:52]   of your life you can't just listen to eight hours of a rant there needs to be some music[3:37:02]   so take a break relax and you're never gonna listen to music on your own you know i've even[3:37:10]   if i didn't have this one i'd never listened to music again you guys hate some of my music but[3:37:15]   i put a lot of work into that's my favorite you gotta stop thinking about hating or liking music[3:37:20]   you know it's not about it's like oh i hate vitamin d i hate athletic greens it's not about[3:37:27]   hating or liking it's about you have to take it and once in a while you need some tunes however[3:37:35]   i'll tell you somebody bankrupt you of your time and he's been getting away with murder lately and[3:37:42]   this person is louis ck come on louis ck he's he needs money again so he came out with did you[3:37:56]   guys see louis ck back to the garden you know i've been watching louis ck's pitiful podcast[3:38:03]   tour where he talks to people that he can't stand like burt kreischer but he knows how the game[3:38:09]   works and he knows how easy it is to scoop audience whoa is there anything worse than[3:38:16]   that at least these other guys pretend that they're best friends they love each other they[3:38:21]   love gaben with their best friends but louis ck is devious he doesn't want to do these podcasts[3:38:27]   he doesn't want to go hang out with tom sagura he doesn't want to talk to burt kreischer[3:38:33]   he doesn't want to talk to rick glassman but he knows that hey these guys got 500,000 clicks a[3:38:40]   piece my special is 25 bucks i go on there i pretend i've got interest for 45 minutes and[3:38:47]   then you know what hey maybe i'll sell uh 20,000 more 25 tickets i'd be an idiot to not just play[3:38:57]   ball and pretend i like this guy and pretend so it's been very fun watching louis ck bite through[3:39:04]   his fucking tongue talking to these morons and you know louis ck is a snob let's not forget louis[3:39:11]   ck is an upscale snob he's too good for you you are under him you know don't forget louis ck[3:39:20]   wanted to hobnob with hillary clinton he wanted to be part of that group and louis ck[3:39:27]   is an upper west side new york romanticizer he loves a brown he's basically a character from[3:39:35]   girls no new york is one of the characters from girls okay louis is one of these guys who thinks[3:39:44]   new york is the fifth character in my story you know the main character on my show is actually[3:39:51]   new york city if you have a love affair with new york city i want you to die i am so repulsed[3:40:01]   by this love affair with new york city that they've copied from movies with voiceovers that[3:40:08]   they've seen throughout their life it's really affected a lot of men if you make a movie about[3:40:14]   new york city put some jazz music on and a voiceover and talk about how new york city is[3:40:21]   the greatest person i ever knew you will become a new york retard i mean you're like all these guys[3:40:30]   are like the lex fridman of new york you know romanticizing this fucking city everyone keeps[3:40:36]   sending me i'm so sorry for interrupting okay go ahead no no go ahead everyone keeps sending you[3:40:43]   what it was something about lex but i won't no oh no please i would love to hear i thought you[3:40:48]   were gonna say everyone keeps sending me that the stream's down or something no no oh thank you dear[3:40:52]   god oh no yes lux i would love to hear i don't have a point to any of this i'm rambling that[3:40:57]   video of lex interviewing some porn star chick is that actually like worth watching is that good[3:41:02]   yeah lex interviewed a porn star i don't know i just want to know would we like it or would we[3:41:08]   like something that other so you're just saying speaking of lex you wanted to ask yes and that's[3:41:12]   why you've interrupted and caused this giant scene that's all sorry was something lex did good[3:41:19]   anyway back to your i'm so sorry beautiful story mike no i was just trying to eat up time[3:41:27]   um but uh yeah louis ck i this is the part that people don't understand about louis and it's[3:41:34]   almost what i like about him at this point i actually like rich snobs i'll tell you this i[3:41:43]   had it all wrong about rich snobs you know you think you see a rich snob being all snobby and[3:41:48]   exclude uh you know excluding people and trying to like be better than them and you think that[3:41:53]   you're supposed to hate that person and get mad actually that's pretty funny to watch is[3:42:01]   someone being a snob and i don't even know if i hate a person who's being a rich you know yuppie[3:42:13]   snob all privileged it's almost entertaining to watch like i thought i hated this bitch victoria[3:42:21]   fuller right victoria c fuller from the bachelor she's this mexican bitch she thinks she's da bomb[3:42:29]   and she couldn't wait the day she gets off paradise she's already lined up a hundred ads[3:42:33]   she's like sydney swinney where everything on her instagram is just an ad for another brand[3:42:38]   competing with the last brand it's all face smoothing it's all lies they're just imitating[3:42:43]   the kardashians that sounds like a hollow surface level of what a guy would think is going on but[3:42:50]   that's exactly what's going on actually they are just doing that and uh so i thought i hated her[3:42:58]   and then she started this podcast where she's just being like a vapid spoiled rich snob and[3:43:04]   complaining about like you know how it's so annoying that somebody is like poor and stuff[3:43:11]   like that it's actually very entertaining to watch so i root it on and so with louis ck louis ck[3:43:21]   what what does that mean what is what happened fill me in you just went at what that i did that[3:43:30]   out loud but this guy yeah that's what i mean you just did something out loud after reading[3:43:35]   something privately and then assumed that i wouldn't ask you whatever this is what i see[3:43:40]   i'm sitting here talking and then jules just goes[3:43:45]   this guy goes and then thinks that nobody heard that i'm sorry i'm really being crazy today but[3:43:51]   this guy says this is an owen benjamin take from two weeks ago mike is stealing bits[3:43:56]   golf is cool polos are nice and it's like nobody what excuse me what is this person's name[3:44:05]   mike write this down and z[3:44:10]   all right we got a real problem here i was going because mike would never say golf is cool[3:44:17]   what does that mean did owen benjamin say golf is cool he thought that's where i was going with this[3:44:24]   you think i watch owen benjamin do you watch owen benjamin because i'll tell you the type of people[3:44:31]   who do watch actually watch on benjamin enough to know something like that are pretty dark did you[3:44:38]   know that why is it being jewish an insult to you nick anyway sorry um what did he say again i'm[3:44:49]   really disturbed by this i'm glad that you huffed out loud i mean did you hear the noise she made[3:44:54]   out loud when she read this read this again slowly this is an owen benjamin take from two[3:45:02]   weeks ago that i enjoy snobs mike is stealing bits golf is cool sure what is your username[3:45:11]   that is mike no okay i've had enough what is his name come in okay he has literally mike[3:45:19]   come and see whoever wrote that you got five minutes to email your scars club username to[3:45:26]   jewels or your scars club account will be terminated with no refund but we need to know[3:45:34]   the account name first email your scars club username to get your punishment i can't believe[3:45:43]   i hope this is not an ongoing thing where somebody's speaking about me in such a way[3:45:47]   like that on there i mean i just couldn't believe what i was reading i'm sorry[3:45:53]   i'm glad you explained this is a behind the scenes episode so careful what you say today[3:45:59]   well here's what i think's going on with louis ck i think louis ck was a hillary clinton[3:46:06]   supporter you all hated him for a moment he got cancelled for showing his penis and you were[3:46:13]   pretty much on board and then something weird happened with this cancel culture stuff[3:46:19]   and then louis ck came back and you almost are all supporting louis ck now as a way to like[3:46:26]   fight back on cancel culture but you got to remember louis ck was cancelled because he was a[3:46:32]   sick weirdo who took his dick out and jacked off in front of a girl and held the door closed and[3:46:42]   and then once he came went oh oh you could go you could go and then she escaped this guy wasn't[3:46:50]   cancelled because of offensive jokes so you got to remember who you're rooting for right now[3:46:57]   he put his hand on the door and jerked off in front of somebody out of an urge he couldn't[3:47:03]   control as an adult and he did this multiple times he jerked off to girls on the phone and[3:47:09]   you can this wasn't a frivolous wow they hate him because he is not following the libs rules no he[3:47:16]   was a lib remember you can imagine either the girls screaming or the girls covering their[3:47:24]   mouths laughing and both of those images are equally pathetic now so but people get confused[3:47:30]   and they go yeah you know what it is dude because louis got offensive jokes and now they think almost[3:47:37]   like they re-remember this is almost like yeah louis just cancelled probably for like his sick[3:47:42]   ass jokes and we're gonna not let that happen like no no no he was humiliated first of all he wasn't[3:47:48]   even cancelled he was humiliated uh they told these girls came out and told the story about his[3:47:54]   sick acts he confirmed it he confirmed it and then hid in the shadows because he was so ashamed and[3:48:03]   then when he needed the money he comes back very slowly very unconfidently until he's finally[3:48:13]   dipped his toes in enough puddles of cold water to realize it's warm enough to just sit here[3:48:20]   and pretend like nothing ever happened and that's fine but don't forget what you're not rooting for[3:48:27]   like an underdog comeback story here everything he did was by his own mistakes uh and i know you[3:48:36]   need a hero you need a uh you need some uh offensive comedy hero right i will take that[3:48:45]   role for you you don't have to worry i'll do that um but that i get it and people really get[3:48:52]   confused like i think like everybody who got cancelled around the same time they're all[3:48:58]   rapists to me in my head like i concoct them as one and i know it's it's difficult to to remember[3:49:06]   what people actually did was it an overreaction like people think ever since covid because the[3:49:12]   vaccines didn't work they think that like everything that was being argued over the[3:49:20]   last five years turned out to not be true like they've kind of just melded that together right[3:49:28]   you know how like people are like turns out the vaccine does cause some side effects and they're[3:49:32]   like they've gotten that confused with like everything they've been arguing about for the[3:49:38]   last five years they were right about you know what i mean and they've gotten like people's[3:49:43]   cancellations confused you see chris delia fans doing it all the time like they're rooting for[3:49:50]   chris as if he was just cancelled by these annoying woke people instead of like a bunch[3:49:56]   of girls coming out saying that they were held hostage and abused so it you gotta remember and[3:50:06]   that's who louis ck is if you're okay with that fine but you guys seem to also the people who[3:50:11]   all love louis ck also seem to be people who hate like pedophiles and all these sick sex people[3:50:18]   right they're like anti-sex guys you would think that you'd be really mad at louis ck for stuff[3:50:25]   like that isn't everybody like very they're not really they don't stay consistent on that one[3:50:30]   yeah they don't stay very consistent so i actually i'll tell you where i'm coming from because if you[3:50:38]   think this is like a stance to me masturbating in front of a girl not a crime this is the twist[3:50:47]   that you've all been waiting for to me what louis ck did could have been done with both arms holding[3:50:53]   the door and i wouldn't think that's a crime you're getting a free experience of watching louis ck[3:50:58]   jerk off nervously hunched over just enjoy it it's a very funny act even if the cum gets on you[3:51:05]   still very funny and imagine telling everybody about that so there's really no problem with it[3:51:12]   you'll be able to get over it i've experienced much worse you know to me hela klein workout[3:51:18]   tape so the same cover for him or keep it a secret i think everybody should know what he's done[3:51:23]   everyone should know and here's the thing louis ck shouldn't have been that ashamed he should be like[3:51:29]   yeah i was a wild man when i was younger sorry and then just kept doing his thing but if you hide and[3:51:36]   go away in the shadows and you show all the shame and well then you're admitting that there's a sign[3:51:43]   that what he did was truly disgusting and shameful well maybe it was maybe i'm not remembering this[3:51:47]   right you know when i say that i don't care if he locks a girl in i don't even know if i believe[3:51:52]   that yeah that is crazy you and me exactly this is i guess that is crazy imagine louis ck[3:51:58]   40 years old holding the door jacking i mean yes that's nuts i guess that's what i mean[3:52:03]   how could you possibly give him a standing oh it's just like is it worth is his comedy worth it[3:52:11]   i mean you wouldn't be friends with anybody who did that right no i mean look at you all you know[3:52:19]   yeah i heard a song that said sell those penises deflated like a pancake and that song is very[3:52:29]   like a pancake and that song is very popular i hope you guys don't like louis ck because he's[3:52:35]   basically the same he's deflated hey do you have any extra of those i'll give you one you gotta[3:52:44]   watch your behavior though all right i'm loose today yeah don't be any looser than this it's[3:52:49]   getting crazy don't get any looser than this here we'll send it your way via flick[3:52:59]   let me see if i can even get this out of the package[3:53:13]   here throw it normal oh that was good there you go thank you she's gonna smoke[3:53:21]   this is just prop so let's show you this louis ck i thought did something really snobby[3:53:27]   you know this is i started hating way before all this sexual stuff i knew the sexual stuff about[3:53:31]   them since day one it wasn't even a crime back then it was just an allowed thing okay green[3:53:36]   day did it you couldn't go into a green day green room uh before a green day concert without them[3:53:43]   they were completely naked running all over the drum set jacking law i mean this is what guys did[3:53:50]   in entertainment i don't know if you knew this that's what people did i mean really like aero[3:53:55]   smith would get off stage that's just a jack-off fest now everybody's getting calm down many crimes[3:54:00]   but probably the girls wanted to fuck green day more than they wanted to fuck louis exactly and[3:54:07]   that's the other thing too it's like to me music is an appropriate place to do a whole sexcapade[3:54:12]   thing it really shouldn't be i think that's unfair i think musicians should be allowed to party like[3:54:18]   it's 1981 i think a musician should still be able to rent out a whole floor hotel rooms trash those[3:54:26]   places the women are all topless they're all kind of uh submissive to the band they'll do whatever[3:54:33]   they want and that's how you earned that as an artist as a musician i think what you're giving[3:54:39]   the world those girls want to give that to you you're a musician you know there's no girl that[3:54:45]   had sex with like uh aero smith it's always the cool band that i refer to the trash to these hotel[3:54:52]   rooms there's no girl that's like i really regret having sex with steve and tyler and aero smith[3:54:59]   that was the highlight of their life but nobody's highlight is having sex with krista leah or louis ck[3:55:05]   that's what i mean uh people who have sex with bands it's something that they like want to tattoo[3:55:11]   on themselves and tell their children you have sex with krista leah you immediately[3:55:15]   feel like you've been raped you have sex with green day you're on[3:55:22]   aero smith steven tyler accused of sexually assaulting teen in the 1970s a 65 year old said[3:55:29]   she first met and was sexually assaulted by the aero smith frontman when she was 16 according to[3:55:34]   a new lawsuit filed under california law that seems was it a concert at a concert and that[3:55:41]   there was one i'm telling you i'm telling you that's there was something back in the day[3:55:46]   and this is what made music good it was called concert life folks well and concert life[3:55:54]   was made up of three events the concert[3:55:59]   after the concert hanging around smoking and then the hotel the hotel tell that to julia my and now[3:56:08]   65 if you bought a ticket to the here's where the night starts you bought a ticket to the concert[3:56:13]   and you're outside of the venue from there till you're doing the walk of sadness from the hotel[3:56:19]   that's concert and anything could happen at a concert i believe if it's a good band[3:56:28]   really it should and it's a shame i feel bad for the musicians who can't enjoy that[3:56:34]   perk i mean it really is they should have the perk of that whole hotel the[3:56:40]   women are all just naked all week long they're all drunk i'm sure they have enough people[3:56:46]   willing to have sex with them that they don't need that's what i mean into they don't need to[3:56:50]   they never did that's what i'm saying that's the difference between the bands the girls wanted to[3:56:56]   do it but with chris delia and louis ck it isn't the band louis ck would trap them that's fucking[3:57:03]   awesome that this lady is 65 and she's just like coming out with accusing steven taller of sexual[3:57:10]   assault yes when she was 16 what did she say steven did let's see i didn't know this about[3:57:19]   ariel smith this just came out on january 2nd of this year let's hear this tyler used his rockstar[3:57:26]   status and power to groom manipulate exploit and sexually assault her over the course of three[3:57:32]   years jesus what were the assaults[3:57:37]   a punch the lawsuit to me sexual assault is you kiss somebody and then you punch[3:57:44]   miserly alleges she first met tyler just after her 16th birthday when she was invited backstage[3:57:49]   blah blah blah after the show a leading member of the world famous rock band took miserly to[3:57:54]   his hotel room where he performed various acts of criminal sexual conduct the song criminal by m&m[3:58:02]   by peon apple um the musician bought miserly a plane ticket for a seattle concert because[3:58:11]   she could not travel with him across state lines as a minor the lawsuit claims tyler[3:58:16]   convinced miserly's mother to let him become her legal guardian what year was this uh in 1970 oh[3:58:25]   come on well he has to pay so no more crazy how about if you're nice but wasn't he nice didn't[3:58:33]   he do all this stuff nicely she's not giving a lot of deets i know that it happened that's[3:58:37]   what i'm talking about it's like but didn't everybody get along and this was a great time[3:58:43]   no she was in hell really that's from aro smith so she was more into rap probably she was more[3:58:51]   into rap uh that's weird i would just think you're with aro smith just like you promised[3:58:57]   to enroll her in school and give her better better medical don't tell me he didn't this[3:59:02]   thing he reneged on the school meaningfully follow through on these promises and instead[3:59:07]   continued to travel with assault and provide alcohol and drugs to the plaintiff what about[3:59:12]   e courses online for the class did he provide the details align with tyler's own words from[3:59:19]   his memoir in the book the rock star describes becoming a guardian to someone who almost became[3:59:24]   his teen bride he wrote her parents fell in love with me signed a paper over for me to have custody[3:59:31]   so i wouldn't get arrested if i took her out of state i took her on tour with me wow misley who[3:59:37]   is eventually impregnated by tyler was coerced by him to have an abortion well oh i'm sorry i[3:59:45]   didn't mean to i really didn't mean to i would never shoot stephen tiller i mean i don't know[3:59:49]   he's a criminal he's crazy well can't trust anyone can you can't really trust anyone that's what i[3:59:55]   said if they're doing anything in one of these microphones they're up to so much more than you[4:00:02]   could even imagine these people are complete psychos i mean any normal person is just sitting[4:00:07]   around at home they're just staying out of people's business i want to show you what louis ck did[4:00:12]   because i thought this special was insulting to me i paid 25 dollars to watch this really really[4:00:19]   crummy stream from madison square garden this is called back to the garden i'll tell you i am[4:00:26]   disappointed in him i think he does need to be called out i gotta admit i don't remember i think[4:00:31]   i fell asleep yeah i'll refresh your memory yeah so here it is louis ck back to the garden madison[4:00:38]   square garden live in new york city it's one of these uh it's like a moment house right but this[4:00:44]   is his own thing 25 buckaroos kiddo so he's starting to think like well it's like being[4:00:53]   at a live show so if the show's 60 bucks like 25 to watch at home as part of the show is like good[4:00:59]   no no what happened to the five dollar specials so he went from selling a special for five bucks[4:01:05]   which is fine to 25 to see a live feed of an event that he did so it's really not special[4:01:16]   and i'll tell you something about this madison square garter garden i don't need to see you in[4:01:21]   the round you'll see what i mean this round you ever hear comedians all sitting around talking[4:01:27]   about the round oh when you're in the round it's actually very engaging because you're you know[4:01:32]   you've just got audience members everywhere you turn it's great i love the round you love the[4:01:38]   rounds okay well let's see how long you're gonna be around because well uh this round business is[4:01:46]   nonsense uh it's totally unenjoyable louis ck was doing his stand-up comedy while spinning i'm not[4:01:52]   kidding because he's in the round right so the audience is out there so he's like you ever notice[4:01:58]   that your daughter is an asshole and then the camera just keeps cutting they catch his spin[4:02:03]   and he's literally spinning the whole time it was like doing this the the edits we're doing this a[4:02:10]   merry-go-round this guy is like the worst editor when it says edited by louis ck you're not gonna[4:02:17]   have a good experience because this guy uh you know he has no business chopping up film everything[4:02:25]   needs to be shot and filmed well what happened to the film this time louis it madison square[4:02:30]   guarding it almost looks like the people who put on this video production it's like the stock[4:02:35]   cameras from the madison square garden like events team that you could for an extra 10k[4:02:41]   they'll give you the file okay right and the cameras are built into the stadium this thing[4:02:47]   look like it was shot on news cams from abc's television network i don't know if you've seen[4:02:55]   these look like over the shoulder they got these cameras in 2002 but they're actually still really[4:03:03]   good oh yeah they're still really good why because he paid 17 000 bucks a piece for him[4:03:08]   and you can't let it go so he's shooting on cameras like that it looks awful and then he[4:03:14]   does this i'm gonna just show you how douchey this gets 25 bucks oh by the way you couldn't airplay[4:03:20]   it or wait wait you couldn't you could only watch it on your computer so you have to hdmi it to your[4:03:26]   tv however he set up that thing that blocks hdmi export so that people don't record it you know how[4:03:36]   like if you watch an itunes movie on your computer like a rental and you plug in the hdmi cable into[4:03:43]   a tv or something it's not going to work because they're going to assume that they're using that[4:03:47]   to like make a copy of the movie so they won't let you export hdmi out louis ck put that blocker[4:03:56]   out if you try to watch this with hdmi out and you kind of have to i mean you could either watch[4:04:03]   on your phone which if you're doing that you're insane you could either watch on your laptop 13[4:04:08]   inch to 16 inch if you're watching anything like that an hour-long presentation of something like[4:04:15]   that on your life you're insane unless you're in a tent camping unless you're in a car or an[4:04:21]   airplane you have no business watching a movie you have no business watching anything but a clip[4:04:26]   or a podcast but when it comes to a comedy special you want to be sitting on your couch[4:04:32]   you don't want to just be watching it on the computer surely that's not very madison square[4:04:37]   garden that doesn't make me feel like i'm in the round how many people could possibly be hooking up[4:04:42]   their hdmi to steal from him exactly that's what i mean well no no no it's just like something that[4:04:49]   you know he does he's not really thinking you know what i mean it's like you got to like even[4:04:54]   it out like people aren't going to really be stealing this from you at a rapid pace and if[4:04:57]   they wanted to they could screen record it you know what i mean you didn't need to do that i[4:05:02]   could understand why like disney does that via comm so he does that and then we had to airplay[4:05:11]   it and of course the airplay was like the most unreliable like you couldn't watch it without[4:05:15]   it freezing so we couldn't skip ahead or we dared not to skip ahead you ever do that where you[4:05:22]   finally get airplay to work and then you go okay it's like our website okay don't touch it now you[4:05:28]   got it to work it's on airplay don't touch it and then you realize oh shit i gotta fast forward don't[4:05:33]   touch it if you start fast forward and this shit's gonna freeze we're gonna be so we didn't touch it[4:05:39]   right and we just thought we didn't have to it's louis ck special watch what happens when you press[4:05:46]   play on airplay and then remember you can't touch it you don't want to mess it up watch this you're[4:05:51]   gonna die music in the background louis ck special thank you for coming for tonight's performance[4:06:03]   louis ck we have a few rules regulations before we start due to covid 19 please don't do anything[4:06:11]   during the show also anal sex is allowed in the arena please go to the lobby for the anal sex[4:06:20]   we have some great shows coming to tell you about in march 28th ricky martin will be here[4:06:27]   he's plug obsessed he like has a boomeristic thing where he's like okay you gotta get the plugs[4:06:35]   you gotta get those plugs in there don't miss this opportunity imagine being at your own[4:06:41]   spot that's him on the microphone by the way and he's plugging he's already plugging[4:06:48]   that kind of bothered louis ck needs to be like less pluggy he needs to let other people do the[4:06:54]   talking for him imagine if you saw me running around town plugging red bar[4:06:58]   imagine if you saw me oh you gotta give me a shot on march 20th[4:07:05]   imagine have you ever seen me plug anything[4:07:12]   imagine if you saw me so coming up april 16th and i'm being hanging there[4:07:18]   it won't spoil but wait till you see this other promotional thing he does[4:07:22]   yeah i mean i'm telling you i i wouldn't just play it for this but this is building up here[4:07:27]   too i want my money back i might file a charge back against this before we start[4:07:32]   due to 19 please don't do anything during the show also anal sex is not allowed in the arena[4:07:39]   that's so funny anal sex lobby for the anal sex we have some great shows[4:07:45]   laugh a bit in march 28th ricky martin will be here[4:07:52]   two shows the first show is at 1 p.m that's funny the second show is at 107 p.m[4:08:00]   also just to let you know tonight's performance of louis ck has been cancelled[4:08:05]   there he comes this is just the joke he's getting me sorry hi um[4:08:10]   oh this is like i'll be you know what just like rihanna false idol[4:08:19]   you're all cheering for this guy you forgot that he's just[4:08:23]   you know and it's a shame all you should be what you should be mad is you shouldn't be so happy[4:08:28]   that louis ck so great you should be so mad that everyone else is so bad that louis ck is a genius[4:08:34]   comedian to you louis ck should be why a base level comic is that's how much we're missing[4:08:41]   that's how much we're getting ripped off in this cinch but it's that louis ck is everybody people[4:08:48]   are like oh don't make me he's okay it's like we know he's funny no no no no no we're not doing[4:08:53]   that at all we just need people to start being uh you know a little bit more honest about this[4:09:00]   you know but yes louis ck is one of my favorite comics[4:09:05]   he's the best he's the goat i'm kidding he is what the worst should be yes exactly like every[4:09:14]   comic should give you the baseline like like when i watch a louis special you're usually like[4:09:19]   that's funny it passes right he gives you a light laugh and you go past professional[4:09:25]   comedy everybody else is so shitty then you're like louis rocks exactly because everyone else[4:09:31]   is so shitty louis a genius it's like no no no he's just the least shitty comic that exists[4:09:41]   it really that's what's really happening there and uh it's part of you know red bar success[4:09:48]   it's very easy to be in the top 20 best shows out there[4:09:56]   very easy compared to what's out there i mean just compare this show to[4:10:01]   any comedian show where they just sit there for one hour they're boring you for one hour only[4:10:09]   and then they're out okay so here's louis ck this is all fine whatever he wants to do this[4:10:15]   this is all fine i'll show you the part that you're gonna have a problem with trust me you're[4:10:19]   gonna be on my side in just a few minutes uh i just wanted to start the show by bringing on[4:10:24]   your first opening act who is a great jazz musician robbie coal train and he has a trio[4:10:30]   that he's bringing up there listen great fucking music and it's not like walk in and get your[4:10:35]   drinks music i want you to really listen to him give him a lot of respect okay okay okay i'm[4:10:41]   fuming now and i already know what this is i hear him say something coal train call i go oh no jazz[4:10:50]   oh no it's some screwy dewy jazz i refuse to know jazz history these names[4:11:00]   jazz is one of those genres where everybody who thinks it's stupid is right[4:11:08]   jazz is what you know how people go i like every kind of music except country that couldn't be the[4:11:13]   craziest thing you've ever i mean that's the craziest thing those people aren't even thinking[4:11:17]   i mean there's many country songs that those people probably love like a lot of most music[4:11:24]   is country by the way i hope you know that there's two types of music country and pop that's it[4:11:34]   now i don't mind jazz but i gotta say it's the definition of music to stand up and get drinks[4:11:40]   yes so stupid snobby louie i heart new york woody allen wannabe[4:11:50]   he sees this jazz group while he's out getting coffee last week okay and it turns out this is[4:11:59]   robbie cold train the cold train son of the legendary louis ck sees them and gets inspired[4:12:09]   he's having his loopy doopy i heart new york inspiration artist thing because he hears this[4:12:17]   jazz band right and he goes up to them and he says hi i'm louie i love it and the guy the leader of[4:12:24]   the band goes oh i know louie i'm a huge fan i'm coming to your show next week at madison square[4:12:29]   garden and he goes oh my god you should play yeah and they're like oh no i don't think so louie that[4:12:36]   would just be no you should open not a comet yes this is it because i had this fucking stupid[4:12:45]   fantasy boner from your jazz and pretended i was in a movie oh i want to pass this experience i[4:12:52]   really i want to kill myself thinking about this so he forces this whole arena in a basketball game[4:13:01]   to shit through no joke like a half hour and how about this of straight adult contemporary fake[4:13:11]   art gallery jazz now there's some people are saying i like jazz oh you don't like this trust[4:13:17]   me you will kill yourself as a lover of jazz as you may be in the chat is the right venue to enjoy[4:13:23]   this type of jazz this big shitty echoey arena it's horrible i'm guys i'm telling you if you're[4:13:30]   going out to see louie ck imagine you get there and they go oh it'll just be an hour first straight[4:13:37]   adult jazz no talking you will be transported to a feeling like you're stuck at school i mean[4:13:47]   there's an assembly for jazz i'm telling you you just wait till you see this shit if you think this[4:13:52]   is good listen i am a man of the music this kills me i would rather him play you know just straight[4:14:02]   up heavy metal as loud as it goes for 10 hours than this watch this shit don't do anything[4:14:08]   during the show but oh here's the douchey part watch how he tells the audience what they have[4:14:14]   to do imagine during the pre-show i said oh you all must respect the calypso music um if you're[4:14:19]   here for a pre-show please no talking respect her this is what he's trying to do he's principally me[4:14:25]   when somebody tells me in an event there's no talking i get livid i'll never forget i went to[4:14:31]   a jazz club the green mill in chicago this is famous al Capone was there once to everybody oh[4:14:38]   i would love to go to an old place so you go there and it's you know a huge weight to get in[4:14:45]   it's very expensive we went in there to watch and i'll never forget this some guy comes out of the[4:14:50]   bingus all right everybody from here on out there is no talking there's no talking while the music[4:14:56]   is being played everybody must be listening and there's no talking and i was like what the fuck[4:15:05]   and i turned around no talking he's like i'm like well then i don't want to be here and i can't we[4:15:09]   gotta talk no no this is background music to my talking i came here to talk i go to bars to talk[4:15:18]   i drink to talk if i'm not talking i'm not living so i'm like stuck there and then i look behind and[4:15:26]   then all of a sudden the lights go down and i'm listening to this jazz and so i'm like oh yeah[4:15:31]   there's no talking here right and i start talking you know i'm talking to everybody and then they[4:15:36]   literally yelled at me i mean i think they even threw up a light to yell at me i was eventually[4:15:41]   stop talking in a movie listen to this i was thrown out thrown out for talking i couldn't[4:15:48]   believe it nope that it's not an add-on at all we were asked to leave if you're going to talk[4:15:53]   we've got to leave we've left um it uh it infuriated me you know what infuriates me[4:16:02]   but you know what that's what jazz is perfect for setting the scene[4:16:07]   no all scenes must be shut organically there cannot be a rule to a scene i'm imagining the[4:16:14]   movie scene of this happening to you in life i ain't part of a movie and you getting thrown out[4:16:20]   it's nice that that scene started with some jazz oh yeah real nice back then whatever how much i[4:16:27]   paid i think it was 30 to get in that was i was very mad to lose that amount back then that's how[4:16:34]   much 30 meant to me you should see how much 30 means to me now a lot more my parents are very[4:16:39]   into jazz i understand everybody thinks they're into jazz everybody thinks it's such a fun time[4:16:44]   it's not such a fun time when you actually have to sit there and watch it silently if i can't talk i[4:16:50]   am not into it and by the way this jazz is jazz guys they said that this is a horrible venue for[4:16:56]   jazz yes all you heard was echo yes i've been with jazz club listen i could pretend to like jazz as[4:17:03]   long as you can all right just like anybody else i understand i understand it's instruments[4:17:10]   being played very technically it's a vibe of a serious black woman in 1990s new york it makes[4:17:24]   me feel this is like how adults were in the 80s or something it's an odd shitty weird feeling and[4:17:34]   i i have heard people be like i hate just i'm like how could you hate any music you know what is this[4:17:38]   guy saying but this jazz thing it's more than jazz it's not just that it's this whole attitude that[4:17:45]   everybody has it's the feel but if you were in the vibe that was perfect for jazz you would like it[4:17:51]   if it was perfect jazz you know what i am into jazz perfect jazz whatever this is i hate i'll[4:17:58]   tell you whatever this is i hate and it's an 80s adult contemporary sound it's a very outdated[4:18:07]   gross sound it reminds me of like very dark navy jeans that suck and a guy you know he's got tucked[4:18:17]   in and also the guy performing the jazz is always super put upon like he's it's like yeah oh yeah[4:18:25]   is this a chair it's like a charity for people to watch jazz as if like and when they're done[4:18:30]   they're like oh my god thank you for your like service that you did this while being black or[4:18:34]   something it's like he's not a homeless guy but they they treat him as if he is like oh my god[4:18:43]   this is you know what guys everybody like seriously whatever's going on just you gotta[4:18:48]   stop talking and let's just please put our hands together for i just can't believe it's just[4:18:54]   remarkable that he was able to come here why you're giving these guys way too much credit[4:19:01]   way too much it's just a wacky sex riff he even is surprised and how much people like it you'll[4:19:09]   see you'll see you'll see and they're surprised too because they're like how are these people so[4:19:13]   dedicated to this also anal sex is not allowed in the arena you'll see go to the lobby cheers[4:19:19]   everybody to jazz we have some great shows coming uh to tell you about in march i'm sorry i went[4:19:26]   back too far but people like that about this show also just to let you know tonight i saw ethan[4:19:32]   klein go back too far one time and he flipped and he really and i flipped we heard that we heard[4:19:39]   that play that and i was like that drives i'm like imagine if you don't like me and i'm just going[4:19:46]   like this you see me do three of these sometimes i want to like sometimes i'll do four and break[4:19:51]   your hands so you don't click back you can't make this too easy for people can't make it perfect[4:19:57]   you know you gotta give them if you're able to stick with me with all these backings[4:20:02]   and hear the same thing over oh and then you go back 10 more seconds and then you play the[4:20:07]   same part that you already played and then pause again and then say a whole like 10 night speech[4:20:12]   and then you go back to the part we've already seen if somebody was doing that to me and it's[4:20:19]   like probably an hour before you get to the part that you even want but that's what i love that's[4:20:24]   better be what people all love i just thought it was for two shows the first show is let's go so[4:20:29]   he starts announcing no i'm kidding i'm gonna actually fast forward here i'll be out in just[4:20:33]   a few minutes watch i just wanted to start the show by bringing on your first opening act[4:20:38]   who is a great jazz musician ravi coltrane and he has a trio that he's bringing up there[4:20:45]   great fucking music and it's not like walking and get your drinks music i want you to really listen[4:20:49]   to them give them a lot of respect and a lot of love and a lot of enthusiasm it's like no come[4:20:55]   on you can't force us to do that and it's like why is he a retard is he special needs this is[4:21:02]   like how tony brings up all those special needs kooks on kill tony it's like stop again what is[4:21:10]   jazz is basically like special needs it's the retard of music and all your attention so please[4:21:19]   welcome ravi coltrane give him a hand please and wait till you hear what it is oh ravi coltrane[4:21:27]   you've heard this this cold train throughout your whole life as if you're supposed to know what this[4:21:34]   is oh here it comes and i don't like a black drummer really i really don't i feel like they're[4:21:41]   not i not interested when you're a black drummer for some reason i find their beats to be frivolous[4:21:49]   yeah black drumming true but there's just something about him he ain't it he doesn't have[4:21:57]   it a black drummer like that you gotta have look at this this is what it is this is your opener[4:22:05]   25 bucks i had to watch this no skipping forward[4:22:15]   and this guy ain't having fun have you ever seen a jazz musician smile[4:22:18]   i'm in such a good mood the second they started playing the drums i was like hell yeah[4:22:22]   that's what you think this is the sneaky part of jazz because you do get excited you go[4:22:27]   guys and you start going like this and then you go okay maybe it's just it's like blues you go[4:22:33]   to a blues bar same thing after three you go please guys you guys are losers trust me[4:22:40]   you have a loser vibe just the hype of the intro drums that's putting a smile on my face you get[4:22:46]   hyped because it's music and then once i'm telling you and even people this is why everybody at jazz[4:22:52]   because this is what people do they go i love jazz and they do love music and they want to[4:22:57]   hear great music they want that feeling they go to jazz and they're like yeah and then they're[4:23:03]   just too afraid to admit and they just suffer through it they're like it's really good because[4:23:08]   it is really good right technically it was all great they were all amazing[4:23:15]   but you should weren't you having the worst fucking time of your whole life you should get[4:23:19]   a mini saxophone or whatever that is and see if you can just do that note and that's just go[4:23:26]   that's a high f only a gay guy could play that note because you've done so many blow jobs[4:23:37]   listen this gets so much worse[4:23:41]   a half hour and you're just sitting there like this[4:23:45]   and you want louie offensive comedy and you gotta listen to this[4:23:57]   and if louie sees you talking he goes stop stop stop stop stop and he comes back on the jumbotron[4:24:03]   guys please no talking heads forward and then he's on the sides of the audience like this[4:24:10]   like this staring you down the whole time hey you no talking no drinks and how fun is that[4:24:18]   you're like oh okay but wait to see what louie does to you next this guy says someone should[4:24:22]   have been there to yell red bar isn't watching yes yeah our spies would have had a the[4:24:30]   competitive meltdown all their gear would be frying if this happened look at this[4:24:35]   it's like oh nice dress clothes nice dress clothes you know why i hate jazz because they[4:24:46]   all just wear dress clothes i'm like what kind of shirt is this like it's just a dress shirt[4:24:53]   what kind of pants are this dress pants oh any brand to them no i really i just i to me this is[4:25:04]   homework i mean i'm in hell i'm gonna make you go through that i want you to feel a little bit of[4:25:08]   the hell so watch this and don't start saying oh no it's good don't do me like that i think it's[4:25:15]   just because i got high no i know not you i'm saying the audience i understand like if i heard[4:25:20]   adam corolla going ah jazz is meaningless i'd be like no there's meanings i get that there's[4:25:25]   meaning but let's just this specific scene is what we're critiquing exactly imagine you're hyped up[4:25:33]   to go to louis ck really even the guys who like jazz i know but i can imagine oh good i'm glad[4:25:39]   you trust me i'm glad we're at that level because listen every time i hear somebody do something i[4:25:43]   go he's doing this based on nothing he hasn't thought it through i need you to know that i'm[4:25:48]   not just blindly attacking jazz like some doofus he doesn't get the intricacy adam corrillo is[4:25:55]   sitting there saying he hated jazz i'd be like shut the fuck up you stupid man i know but people[4:26:00]   are starting to treat me like a stupid old man i know so we gotta be okay watch[4:26:23]   it's like i almost don't even like the sound of offender roads anymore oh he's got a fender road[4:26:29]   it's like these guys who are like my favorite car is a vintage bronco[4:26:34]   that i own it's it's like oh yeah you and all those other and then you got like the piano[4:26:40]   player he's got the vintage fender roads the one from the beatles doc all of a sudden the beatles[4:26:44]   documentary comes up they show this piano the fender roads then everybody oh i've always loved[4:26:51]   that i always own just like the bronco and you know that because you looked it up and they were[4:26:56]   all sold out yes they're uh you could get a really really really crappy one for about seven[4:27:00]   thousand dollars now i would love to have one here would die to purchase it would die but that that[4:27:05]   is to me if you're using a fender roads you're a bit behind right now that would have been cool[4:27:13]   four or five years ago okay[4:27:33]   and they act you know if they have a fender roads they act like they've always so yeah i was there[4:27:38]   when it came you didn't even know about it until a couple weeks ago from a video tour on youtube if[4:27:42]   someone's studio most of these guys are giant posers in the jazz community and psychos don't[4:27:49]   forget that so he bores you with jazz you're about to kill yourself and you know you can't get up for[4:27:54]   a drink because he's shut down the concessions and every concession stand is louis ck cut out[4:27:59]   that says no no no get back to your seat so you're at the library and then he does this to us[4:28:07]   so remember i couldn't skip ahead now we're 10 minutes in look at this shit how many is it this[4:28:13]   is would anyone watch this 10 minutes of just this look i'm 10 minute mark now 10 minutes[4:28:24]   i mean that's rough dude i hate it now like you have to be like this is like something like you[4:28:30]   would do if you went to music class or school like if you went to music college[4:28:37]   you have to watch this sure this is torture to me if you're a not like what kind of fucking adult[4:28:46]   do you have to be to sit through this this is like you have to be a real adult to get through this[4:28:53]   really mature i'm sitting there i'm like okay i'm going nuts[4:29:03]   and i'm as old as an adult could be we should do a show where the jazz guys try to send you[4:29:09]   their favorite jazz cuts to impress you well there's a difference in time listen if i'm in[4:29:13]   the kitchen cooking throwing some jazz in the background while i cook i'll pretend i'm in a[4:29:18]   movie but jazz is just for that and people need to be honest if you like jazz it's because you're[4:29:24]   pretending to be in a movie that's it that's like saying yes i like the soundtrack the top gun[4:29:30]   while i uh drive so you're pretending to be in the fighter jet jazz is pretending to be in a movie[4:29:38]   about new york advanced paced world that's what it is so yes i like jazz as background music when[4:29:47]   i'm pretending to be a new york chef but i'm not gonna sit there and go i really would leave if i[4:29:56]   was at this concert so look at him he keeps going and look at this cheap ass bitch it's like oh[4:30:01]   we're gonna give a standing ovation for you you probably couldn't even play ska you could only[4:30:08]   play boom boom boom boom it's just not enjoyable to me he was using that sax for ska you would be[4:30:17]   he would have to change his facial hair if he wanted to do ska and it would only take well just[4:30:22]   a little bit yes that's what i was gonna say it would wouldn't be much it would just be to cut[4:30:28]   right here and here and then a hat yes exactly yes you actually look like you could be playing ska[4:30:35]   tomorrow which i would rather have you do sit up straight please you hunchback you should make a[4:30:41]   youtube video where you shit on jazz and then do an equal amount of time talking about how much you[4:30:46]   love ska yes now ska especially sky instrumental here we're 10 minutes in this is louie ck special[4:30:57]   imagine i made and you're like mike please move on it's like uh we haven't even gotten to 10 minutes[4:31:01]   of it i'm that i get yes do you understand now if you want me to move on from showing you this[4:31:09]   jazz then you understand or now you get it right i'm trying to show you how mad you got to be a[4:31:18]   louie right are you mad enough or do you need more jazz here mad yet i'm playing this till[4:31:24]   you're mad at louie you must agree he must go down[4:31:32]   it's a mark two stage piano if i ever had a band i'd scribble over all the brand names[4:31:40]   it's not fair that these companies you ever see a company you're watching a podcast and you're[4:31:44]   like is this a podcast or the word road you ever see this oh road it's the biggest word on the frame[4:31:53]   how did they get so lucky these i mark off everything you're never gonna see a brand name here[4:32:00]   never x touch please it's embarrassing okay so he plays the jazz he plays the jazz things get[4:32:07]   worse at the louie show look the jazz goes on and on i want to show you the look how much[4:32:14]   look how long this goes on i'm still skipping through just jazz this is my worst okay play at[4:32:21]   play at this part where you can see the full arena first like go to the[4:32:24]   yeah this is going to be the end of the jazz and they're taking their bow[4:32:31]   and the audience is just so fucking happy it's oh i mean really 21 minutes of that jazz[4:32:39]   oh and it's already 10 pm and you're like kind of tired because it's friday probably comfortable[4:32:44]   seats not comfortable seats please i'm telling you guys do not make us wait at the arenas for[4:32:50]   you to start it is like the worst experience you could have okay so it ends 21 minutes of that[4:33:02]   okay yeah one more second sorry okay[4:33:10]   tell me what[4:33:11]   sorry i'm waiting for the sign on the billboard to great great yellow[4:33:25]   the sign on the jumbotron there[4:33:30]   so right now it still says robbie whole train with a qr code[4:33:36]   and remember we're at a basketball game of louis ck[4:33:48]   and remember the crowd just had a shifter of i'll round that out to 40 minutes[4:33:55]   21 but 21 minutes of that was basically 40 minutes of sitting[4:34:00]   can you skip ahead with your fingers let's see whoa sounded like a breakage uh okay yeah let's[4:34:06]   see here so you've got the arena is this okay that's the rules okay wait stop yeah so what[4:34:11]   were you saying before about how his self-promotion or yeah he's always promoting he so look what he[4:34:17]   does at the jumbotron he is selling on the yes watch now look at this watch this is on the[4:34:24]   jumbotron throughout the show watch now only on louis ck.com you can get the season of louis[4:34:31]   for only 35 bucks he puts the prices so it's bad enough that he's marketing and i've seen him do[4:34:38]   this on podcast he goes guys got a new special out it's five bucks i'm also offering for 10 bucks[4:34:45]   you could get two seasons of louis for 15 though if you spend 15 you're going to get three seasons[4:34:51]   of louis forcing grant which was you know this and he keeps going on and it's like you don't[4:34:58]   got to tell us the prices that's very creepy i've never seen a price yeah so he's always doing the[4:35:07]   enough to say get louis on my website i know just say get louis on louis ck.com they'll worry about[4:35:14]   the price when they get there like and 35 is scaring me away like i gotta go to your website[4:35:20]   i'm gonna end up coming out of there with 35 negative so i'm going to your website no matter[4:35:25]   what you're telling me 35 that's probably the lowest price thing you know like 35 bucks i don't[4:35:33]   i don't know if i could want to even enter that website it's almost irresponsible to know[4:35:37]   when i go here it's 35 bucks of something it's like don't do that he's so into this money you[4:35:47]   know because he wants to live this new york brown he wants it to be like only murders in the building[4:35:52]   and he needs his life to be like a scarfed up new york city walk he's admiring the garden[4:36:01]   he's going over to the the park oh it was in the park the other day oh yeah[4:36:08]   so but watch what he does night so you've sat through the 40 minutes i'll call this an hour now[4:36:12]   of jazz and now watch what he does to you you think okay finally louis ck right i'm at the[4:36:18]   basketball game for him watch this makes you shit[4:36:32]   making you shit you're waiting and you could have cut this out of my 25[4:36:36]   dollar e-ticket this is what i'm paying for it watch it every time i[4:36:44]   is me fast forward it look at this that's going 40 seconds to an arrow that's 40 seconds an arrow[4:36:52]   watch okay finally i'm gonna do the whole show this way so 26 minutes in and remember when you[4:36:59]   were watching this live i'm in a lot fib here you can't skip forward okay so imagine you're watching[4:37:06]   this live 26 minutes we couldn't yes forward because of the airplane but imagine if he made[4:37:12]   that a law that you couldn't skip for it that would drive you nuts but that's how i felt because[4:37:17]   i couldn't skip forward so it was like it was law watch this uh so i have two comedians opening[4:37:24]   they're doing 10 minutes each and they're both very very funny and i'm introducing them myself[4:37:28]   this way because again i want you to give them all your focus all of your respect and your love and[4:37:34]   attention and laughter uh stop telling us what to do first one a guy who's from i need you to give[4:37:41]   them all your focus all your love and attention why do they suck are they like cold train where[4:37:48]   we have to pretend to like them in order for their feelings not to be hurt is that what[4:37:52]   you're about to do and he does wait till you see who he brings up this is why he's pleading with[4:37:56]   you to behave please they're horrible it's gonna be so boring but just stare straight at them[4:38:04]   do not move do not giggle okay because i want to make sure that it's not awkward[4:38:11]   that i hired these horribly boring people watch this my hometown lives here in new york great[4:38:16]   comic please welcome john fish give him a hand john fish i go who the fuck is john fish[4:38:26]   i'm comedy's biggest critic i'm the j sherman at stand up and he goes please welcome john[4:38:32]   fish i go what the fuck so you want to meet john fish wait till you see this shit you thought jazz[4:38:39]   was bad you thought jazz was bad look john fish fish what a night louis ck back at the garden baby[4:38:53]   wait till you see this g what's up new york city greatest city in the world[4:38:58]   look at this look at him that is one thing quarantine reminded me new york city apartments[4:39:06]   were not intended to be lived in so listen to the audio that you gotta endure and look at how the[4:39:13]   stages and watch how the camera keeps cutting you can see the very low video quality i mean this[4:39:18]   really looks like a couple of news cams the year was 1999 they were shooting from a hundred years[4:39:26]   away with zoom it's very blue there's ako and you're watching john fish bomb[4:39:37]   they're just like a home base to go nap shower up and get back out there[4:39:45]   we just moved to jersey i lived here 20 years we just moved to jersey oh wow i never get support[4:39:51]   support for jersey the biggest of plots and now you hear how big the crowd is right it's the[4:39:56]   first time in 20 years that my mattress does not touch three of the walls in my bedroom oh he's[4:40:01]   poor new jersey gets a bad rap i don't know why i think we need excellent excellent you hear[4:40:09]   somebody in the booth going excellent excellent it's all working as planned sounded like someone[4:40:13]   was whispering it's like they just mistook whoever said excellent excellent mistook[4:40:19]   the chair for new jersey see this is a trick everybody knows this you've heard comics divulge[4:40:25]   this about eight thousand times when you go on stage and you go so i'm from new jersey oh we're[4:40:33]   two blocks away from jersey oh yes thank you i'm the best no no no that was a bunch of crazy idiots[4:40:41]   hearing the word new jersey and they're from new jersey so they screamed and this guy in the booth[4:40:47]   goes excellent excellent yes people are enjoying no no no they screamed for jersey[4:40:53]   and then this happens get a new slogan my idea is new jersey it's not just newark[4:41:04]   this is what you call about i've paid 25 bucks for almost a year watch this and i have not you[4:41:10]   know people need to actually open their ears when they're listening to stand up it is the[4:41:14]   dumbest horse that you've ever heard and you sip and you go oh because it technically like was[4:41:22]   a diagram of a joke or something and you got to rip your brains out and stuff them back in because[4:41:28]   what what you're hearing here is like if hela was talking to a baby it's just as retarded[4:41:35]   there's nothing that you need to hear from this and i need you to hear this is what louis ck[4:41:43]   put up in front of thousands and thousands of people paying hundreds of dollars a ticket[4:41:48]   25 a ticket online i had to sit through coal train well maybe you could have some excuse but what is[4:41:54]   the excuse for john fish i want to torture this guy on instagram if you guys could all leave a[4:42:01]   nasty comment about him we've exposed you you shouldn't have done that show with louis because[4:42:06]   the right the the those people you fucked over shot they told us everything it's all coming out[4:42:12]   let's test this guy's time can he stand the test of time that's the test i give people the test of[4:42:21]   time can you keep doing this when under really serious allegatory pressure listen to this piece[4:42:32]   of this piece of shit found one person attractive[4:42:43]   so that's what i tell my friends that still live in new york city i'm like find your person here[4:42:48]   fall in love here and then move to jersey and you'll never cheat[4:42:58]   that might be a better slogan[4:43:00]   so well let me explain who my we is uh look at there's my deal uh right before the pandemic[4:43:09]   i met a nice lady on hinge shout out to hinge they love saying a dating apps name[4:43:21]   the shittier you are as a comic the more you need to say a dating app name you're just[4:43:28]   it's just you wake up just going i'm a comic dating app names it's like the prostate thing[4:43:36]   every comic loves to be like i had my prostate exam coming up so thank you what a roars way to[4:43:46]   you know make your mind think uh we fell in love and then uh we got real pregnant real quick[4:43:55]   real quick what's this this is how quick it was at the time of the birth we had been a pregnant[4:44:01]   couple longer than a non-pregnant couple it's like so louise okay i thought you were like a[4:44:08]   huge comedy snob you sit in the green room with this guy and you're like yeah this is awesome[4:44:12]   or are you trying to show your audience you know this[4:44:17]   i didn't even think this could be true are you actually putting up a guy that's so[4:44:21]   bad that by the time you come up it's like thank you we owe you our life that probably is what he's[4:44:27]   doing i just can't imagine somebody would actually do that you know we always joke maybe they don't[4:44:32]   realize they're doing it i mean subconsciously i mean imagine if before red bar started i just[4:44:38]   had this guy here and he just did this you would kill him yes this guy's giving heavy christian[4:44:44]   vibes yeah i mean who is he christian bald tj miller that's not funny easy way i know it's like[4:44:53]   worse than you could ever even describe somebody like that so it's a strong foundation what i'm[4:44:59]   trying to tell you people we have uh three therapists currently we'd like one more we'd[4:45:07]   like to go monday through thursday look at this shit but we both wanted to have kids[4:45:14]   i know that i just want to give him a chance so you know i'm not she told me she was about to[4:45:17]   freeze her eggs and i would try be like why do you want to do that i'll knock you up right now[4:45:27]   this is comedy this is what stand-up is this is what it is i was joking[4:45:37]   okay that's as much as i'm going to torture you with it but if you torture why i'm giving you[4:45:43]   something that you should be proud to see right he charged 25 for this you should be loving that[4:45:48]   i'm showing you every second of this right if it's torture for me to replace something that[4:45:53]   costs 25 bucks then there's something wrong with the product where i come from this would be like[4:46:00]   you know uh you're giving somebody something that is of value it costs money and they don't even[4:46:06]   want to see it for free that's how bad you are as a comic they don't want to see you they're[4:46:12]   screaming at the screen so that's really bad and then look what happens john fish ends and then[4:46:19]   louis does this to us i'll read it to you guys watch this thank you oh he's got this is his[4:46:25]   closer to talula this is his closer let me sleep[4:46:34]   a poem to his daughter that's it that's the whole poem right there[4:46:40]   all right thank you guys so much i really appreciate it[4:46:44]   yeah you should appreciate that because you guys are amazing[4:46:47]   and it is my pleasure to introduce you think louis louis right favorite comics[4:46:57]   certainly one of my favorite comics he's gonna give it up for my friend adrian appelucci everybody[4:47:05]   adrian i appelucci[4:47:11]   so i mean and really when he did that because he's like my friend one of the funniest people i know[4:47:18]   uh adrian i appelucci and i go excuse i mean[4:47:26]   we're 40 minutes into this experience i gotta go to bed i'm trying to get a special in before bed[4:47:32]   i fell asleep after this so i don't even i mean 40 minutes in and now i gotta start with adrenaline[4:47:39]   appelucci you know uh you need a obscure pasta dish of a person from new york watch this[4:47:51]   this is what louis because he's so artsy he knows art[4:47:54]   all right everybody give it up for john one more time so what's a big fat you know how new york's[4:48:00]   you know you see louis j gomez being like oh yeah this chick's the best and then it's like[4:48:04]   a chick like this and you go oh yeah she's the best where on the streets of new york on a tuesday[4:48:10]   who's that other lesbian that hangs around the comedy scene she's so old and always like this[4:48:16]   and new york's got a million women like this they're like yeah i'm a comic[4:48:21]   i haven't had sex in 48 years i have two kids and no money and it's like oh what a lovely woman[4:48:31]   so that's what he brings up watch this i hate this type of bullshit to me this woman doesn't[4:48:35]   need to exist it's like what are you the penguin this is like if the penguin was running all i[4:48:42]   mean it's like i just don't have time for this if it's if it's not a tv show you don't need to be[4:48:47]   around only in a tv show do i need a woman like this going yeah tell me about it you know she's[4:48:54]   the neighbor well that's nice she has hope for it exactly but as a real human being what is[4:49:00]   your purpose to walk around farting around town yo big ass listen to this bitch[4:49:10]   jessica kirsten yes new york city i uh i am a native new yorker a lot of my you know who she[4:49:16]   looks like that little rat who keeps spouting out twitter files and being a traitor to twitter the[4:49:22]   old twitter who's that rat berry white berry weiss[4:49:28]   this looks like berry fried weiss get it i learned that from tony hinchcliffe[4:49:37]   oh we should do tony next oh we're doing everybody so here's berry weiss listen to this[4:49:42]   bitch my friends that used to live in new york have now left yeah they'll ask me stuff they're[4:49:48]   like what is new york like with the pandemic winding down i'm like i don't know it's kind[4:49:52]   of empty but there's still nowhere to park very funny okay fuck you so that was his show i wanted[4:50:00]   to show you and then he finally comes out and we couldn't we're asleep we were fast asleep we[4:50:06]   didn't see one bit of louie i literally don't think we saw him at all we didn't see any of[4:50:11]   it i can't remember one line he put me to sleep he blew his chance with me so louie this special[4:50:18]   is unrated unregulated we do not have an answer it is not approved nor unapproved it's floating[4:50:26]   out there needs to be bought up by a company to get it rated okay thank you so much for[4:50:33]   and i just think that it's okay to you know harass louie he's a person just like joe list[4:50:42]   you know what i mean louie needs to be harassed a little bit more he's very scared of his own[4:50:48]   so he's flinching he's always worried he's gonna get called out and he should be worried[4:50:53]   it's a public masturbator we're gonna take a quick break so that jules could fill this up[4:50:58]   hell yeah i'm stuck to my chair like always i ain't going anywhere you guys gotta listen[4:51:02]   to this song it's the best song ever we'll see you don't touch that dial we'll be right back on[4:51:07]   red scar[4:51:37]   so[4:51:58]   let me look at me[4:52:02]   so[4:52:24]   come into my bedroom[4:52:32]   it's not about having someone to love me anymore[4:52:38]   this is the experience of being an american[4:52:49]   guys everybody please stop talking and pay attention to the music seriously[4:53:02]   each diary of a girl wondering what went wrong i'm a princess[4:53:18]   this[4:53:32]   comes over again[4:53:46]   now this is the experience of being an american[4:54:02]   let me look at my hair look at the length of it and the shape of my body[4:54:08]   if i told you that i was late do you really think that anybody would think i didn't ask for it[4:54:15]   i didn't ask for it i'm testified i already fucked up my story on top of this[4:54:22]   so many other things you can't believe did you know i sang i can still be looking like a[4:54:31]   piece of 33[4:54:51]   having someone to love me anymore[4:54:54]   oh okay now this is the experience of being an american whore[4:55:03]   it's not about having someone to love me anymore[4:55:09]   now this is the experience of being an american whore[4:55:24]   ladies and gentlemen trent rezner[4:55:54]   so[4:56:24]   so[4:56:55]   my[4:57:15]   eye love me if you love me[4:57:25]   love me when you want to get a high[4:57:45]   i told her you're fucking up big time but i don't care baby i already lost my[4:57:54]   baby[4:58:20]   oh my god look at that perfect timing i just stepped back[4:58:24]   in my seat from the bathroom! What a nice bathroom. Nice break, right?[4:58:31]   It's a great break. That was a seven minute break. Longest break in history.[4:58:38]   Okay, welcome back to Red Bar. Howdy![4:58:44]   Please join us at our Scars Club. Redbarradio.net slash Scars Club gives you access to the archives[4:58:51]   and every other show is a Scars Club only episode. It's very, very cheap. It's actually[4:59:00]   very inexpensive. Cheaper than Louie's special. These other guys, they're charging $15 a Patreon.[4:59:08]   You get one episode every two weeks that's one hour for $15. They ain't saying shit![4:59:16]   Redbarradio.net slash Scars Club join. Imagine what we could do[4:59:30]   if we had right now we're currently at 47 members.[4:59:38]   47 is a lot. Kevin Brennan thinks 47 is a lot.[4:59:43]   We've also got two contests going. Want to win a thousand bucks? Help us create the next Red Bar[4:59:54]   is watching sticker. $1,000 to the sticker design that we like best that we use and that will become[5:00:03]   a sticker bonus prizes for everybody that submits. If you actually submitted art, I got a lot of just[5:00:11]   computer-made memes sent to my email and either you're retarded or kidding.[5:00:22]   I'm gonna go with kidding but memes, computer-generated memes or cutouts of me[5:00:29]   from thumbnails of this show on Instagram will not be counted as serious entries. I don't know[5:00:38]   where people got the idea to post their entries publicly on the Bring Back group.[5:00:44]   It's never part of the official contest rules. They worked hard and they deserve some comments.[5:00:49]   Also theme songs of the the light news theme song. We're also running a contest for $1,000 you're[5:00:56]   gonna win. That's big money. People aren't giving it even Ethan only gives out $500 tops to people.[5:01:03]   That's crazy. Jim Dillon I don't think is handed out a dime. None of the the other podcasts you[5:01:08]   listen to, they don't give you a dime. We give you most of the money we have and we're looking[5:01:14]   for a light news intro that we could use. Again this isn't a joke. You don't just send me a bunch[5:01:20]   of crazy piano sounds. I just don't know why you would think that would get through. So thank you[5:01:27]   to everybody who has entered and two more episodes to go until we reveal the winner. We're gonna see[5:01:33]   some of the runners-up as well. Some exciting shots. I just can't believe some of the emails I[5:01:39]   got. I mean I haven't been shaking my head like this since I was sick. They got me doing this. I[5:01:48]   suppose it's a good warm out for my new workouts. They got me doing this. They got me going.[5:01:56]   And we've seen some of these memes. I haven't even read the comments of some of these posts[5:02:06]   where people post. They're like here's my submission for the sticker. It's like just[5:02:11]   a black and white pixelated picture of me like this. And then it just says red bars watching[5:02:17]   in any font they found. I mean how nuts to post something like that. So either you're kidding[5:02:25]   or you're severely dangerous. Either way we're very worried. Welcome to red bar. Let's show you[5:02:36]   some of this. I loved every single one equally and I have no complaints. Of course. What should[5:02:40]   we show them next? We got a lot of stuff to show you. I'm gonna have another pro-trans fuel.[5:02:47]   No. Are you serious? No. It's very little caffeine.[5:03:11]   I wonder if it really works. This is suggested from Hella Mark Harley.[5:03:17]   It's amazing on Amazon. You go out there and so many people give products like this a very low[5:03:27]   rating because they don't like the taste. To me any supplement it can taste as horrible as I[5:03:34]   needed to. I mean it could be the worst tasting thing ever. That's not the point. And I don't[5:03:40]   think supplements should be rated on taste. Thank you. Should we show them what Tony was up to?[5:03:47]   Tony Hinscliffe? Yes. Or what do you think? Do we got some little ones too? Little ones to choose[5:03:51]   from before we do. Little ones. You can look in next up. I just took another one of those[5:03:57]   fuels. I know I was gonna say we're gonna be here for 10 hours. So we'll be here for a long time.[5:04:01]   It's gonna go late into the night. What comes out tomorrow? Tomorrow there was something happening[5:04:06]   Monday that was pretty big. Something happens Monday. The opening of... Portillo![5:04:18]   Italian beefs, hot dogs, burgers, and even chicken sandwiches, dog. I'll be eating it all every day.[5:04:26]   I'll probably gain eight or nine or fifty pains. I'll be eating fries even. Portillo's is coming[5:04:34]   tis the season. I'm having a giant Italian beef almost every day. You hear me? We got a[5:04:43]   Portillo's opening here in town. Really the only thing that sucked about moving from Chicago was[5:04:48]   that there was no Chicago food, right? And now they've brought it. I don't even care if it's[5:04:56]   a quarter as good as the worst Portillos in Chicago. I'm eating hot dogs every day starting[5:05:04]   Monday. And so is Joel's. It's all we're doing is eating hot dogs. Very excited for that. That[5:05:13]   might become our new pre-show food, I hope, instead of... No, I don't think so. Portillo's is a day[5:05:20]   I fast. I start fast in the night before. But can you just get something that you don't normally[5:05:25]   order on your special Portillo's day? Well, that's the thing about the menu. It's just so large.[5:05:30]   There's always something that you're gonna like. Even if you're a girl, you get the chicken[5:05:33]   sandwich. When Joel's is not in the mood for hot dogs, I go, they got a chicken sandwich.[5:05:39]   She goes, okay. It's grilled. And then gets it. It's very good. It's got a char taste. I like[5:05:44]   things with a char taste. You ever had that where you go, it's just a grilled shitty half-sliced[5:05:52]   chicken breast, but it's got that char taste from the grill that everybody seems to not know how to[5:06:00]   ever explain. And there's just like, yeah, it's just the grill. No, it's not. My grill doesn't[5:06:04]   ever taste like that ever. Where is the char coming from? Is it the combination of every[5:06:10]   food being grilled on that and all the smoke from all the foods and all the drippings and[5:06:13]   all the foods and the foods that are left on the... Is that what's creating that unique char?[5:06:19]   Nobody will tell me. And it seems what I'm trying to... What I'm coming to the conclusion of is you[5:06:26]   do need an industrial... The reason you can't get that taste at home is because you need something[5:06:31]   that's getting so hot that you need to have specific fire-coated precautions to operate it.[5:06:37]   So you can't even get it for your home. That's what I'm coming to the conclusion of, that it's[5:06:42]   that hot, their grill. That it's creating a char. Those lines are tasting different because they're[5:06:51]   at such a high temperature. That's what I believe. And it's a temperature you could heat up your[5:06:55]   grill for 50 hours. You're not getting that, that hot. Oh, my dream is to have a char broiler[5:07:05]   in my kitchen in place of the stupid stove that everybody gets with the four burners and the dumb[5:07:09]   oven that is so gay looking. Well, this Portales grill would probably suck because it's new.[5:07:16]   That's what I wonder. You need the buildup of the years. I don't know. We'll find out. If that has[5:07:21]   that char taste right out of the box, then I know, okay, I'll just buy the char broiler they're[5:07:25]   using, bring it home. And we'll just hope the whole place doesn't fill up the smoke.[5:07:33]   You never see anybody, everybody, you even see these rich people with their backyard grills and[5:07:37]   they just have like a stupid... If your grill has like a hood that you pull up, it's gay and stupid.[5:07:42]   I want it to look like a full restaurant. A hood is not a lid.[5:07:46]   Excuse me? Like you can have a lid to your grill. No. What? No, no. What if it's a green egg?[5:07:55]   If you go to a restaurant, they don't have a lid to anything. But what if it's a green egg?[5:07:59]   No, that's a poor man's homo sapien home grill. Life comes at your best. What I'm talking about,[5:08:05]   I want to go to somebody's backyard and they've got a 15 foot, you know, it looks like a mixing[5:08:11]   council. It's so big. So you're talking the ultra rich. You don't have to be rich. These[5:08:16]   things are like four grand. You could buy them used restaurant supply places. I mean,[5:08:20]   the cheapest, shittiest hot dog places have one. Yet we're going out, we're buying $8,000 wolf[5:08:27]   oven. It's not doing anything. You need just go to any hot dogs and steal the char griller out of[5:08:33]   there. Put that in place of where your oven is. Tell the fire marshal to teal with it.[5:08:38]   And you'll have the best food. That's what I believe. I like a char. Oh my God, this guy's[5:08:45]   calm. Can I redo an accusation that I screenshotted from the chat? It's always an accusation. It's[5:08:49]   never anything positive she ever picks from this chat. Go ahead. I know this one was so good.[5:08:53]   Yeah. This guy says, be careful when Mike talks about, oh, he's directing this to me by the way.[5:08:59]   He says, be careful when Mike talks about all this sex stuff. He's trying to normalize polygamy[5:09:05]   to you so he can sleep with other women besides you. Trust me, Mike is a player. He probably has[5:09:11]   had sex with over a hundred women before you. When he talks about wanting to have sex with[5:09:16]   your friends, it is not a joke. Just wanted you to answer to that. I think this guy[5:09:25]   should be deleted. I think she should be blocked. And we got to mark down this part of the show[5:09:34]   and edit this out. Well, and your friends[5:09:42]   are listening right now, by the way. So this is really awkward, but I do want to fuck[5:09:49]   them instead of you. And this is how I find out from purple Floyd,[5:09:56]   purple Floyd, we're going to have to block you. No, I love him. He's always doing bangers like[5:10:05]   that. There's a lot of stuff like that that goes out there. You know, it's tough to deal with,[5:10:16]   but also I believe way earlier in the show when it just started, he said, fuck, I can't watch[5:10:22]   because my card got declined, but it looks like he figured it out since then. So this guy didn't[5:10:29]   have the money in his account to cover this month's payment. He might not have the money,[5:10:32]   but he does have the knowledge about what you are up to. So interesting. Interesting.[5:10:38]   Can I get your name, sir? $100 to anybody who could get me this guy's whereabouts.[5:10:47]   Okay. That's the kind of guy who go, he talks to me, find me where he lives.[5:10:55]   All right. What should we do next? You said you had a couple of small ones and you can pick what[5:10:59]   there's so many. I just wanted you to be inspired. We've got deaf noodles, Ethan Tucker's comedy show[5:11:05]   thing, Tom Papa. Oh, this was good. So last week we shot Tom Papa on kill Tony and he really got[5:11:12]   annihilated by David Lucas. And it was interesting. This one stood out to me,[5:11:16]   you know, David Lucas, a big black man. He goes after all the comics until kill Tony.[5:11:23]   And usually I like to think of it as, you know, it's kind of like how I always wished and hoped[5:11:30]   Tim Heidecker was like when Tim Heidecker would do like a sketch about like some jerky guy.[5:11:37]   I always thought of that was his way of making fun of that type of person. At least that's what[5:11:42]   I've always hoped. And I hope when David Lucas, when I see him roast these comedians,[5:11:47]   I like to fantasize that he's not doing this out of any sort of love that he actually does[5:11:52]   kind of have a little problem with maybe a Mark Norman or Tom Papa. And I like to fantasize that[5:12:00]   when David and William are going after these comics, they're actually saying how they really[5:12:04]   feel and kind of just pretending it was a roast and Tom Poppy got it pretty hard from David Lucas[5:12:11]   and the way David Lucas was treating him on that last episode. I mean, this was really great. We[5:12:15]   had never seen Tom get spoken to like that. And remember at the end of the episode, they said,[5:12:21]   here he is. They draw each episode is drawn by what's that guy's name?[5:12:28]   The guy who draws Ryan J. E. Belt. The magnificent Ryan J. E. Belt is going to draw.[5:12:34]   Here's his drawing from today's episode. And then they projected it on the big wall[5:12:38]   and it was Tom Papa wrinkly and melting and looking like a blue sad sack of shit.[5:12:46]   And you saw Tom Papa. This is Tom Papa like this, looking up at the projection of himself[5:12:53]   after he'd been brutalized. And then he just kind of turns. He goes like this.[5:13:00]   It's time to go. You know, he really, it really looked like this got to him.[5:13:05]   And then we see this clip and this couldn't be,[5:13:09]   this couldn't be more about what just happened on that last episode. This was perfect. I can't[5:13:15]   believe the timing of this. And I also can't believe that Tom is this,[5:13:20]   there is something about Tom. There is something that he is insecure about, you know,[5:13:28]   and that's what I read from that when he was getting attacked by David Lucas, it wasn't[5:13:32]   so much the attack. It was how Tom responded, right? Tom responded in a way where that showed[5:13:37]   a lot of weakness, a lot of holes in Papa holes that I wasn't quite looking for,[5:13:46]   but glad I found, we found a few errors with you, Tom, and we're about to prove it to everybody.[5:13:55]   I hope this ruins your week. No, but I'm saying Tom, we're almost on your side. We see,[5:14:03]   and you just got to be honest here, but wait till you see what Tom Papa did.[5:14:07]   Let's see next up. Tom Papa thoughts on his fan art. This is really interesting. We'll go to this[5:14:12]   YouTube video. We see short clip and I've seen comedians do this before. This is called not[5:14:19]   thinking one Oh one what time code here. It's just a clip. It's already clipped.[5:14:24]   Well, I'm at 1736 at about an hour and 15 minutes. It doesn't go to the clip when you click it.[5:14:29]   I clicked YouTube and it took me to an hour and 15 minute thing, but I haven't 17 minutes.[5:14:35]   Are you saying it's lined up? Oh, okay. I see. Okay. I see. It's this new feature. Yes.[5:14:42]   He's with Harlan Williams. And remember we just saw, you just heard what I said. He was[5:14:48]   on kill Tony last week where somebody drew him and they showed this drawing to him at the end[5:14:54]   and it was him looking all old. And he, we thought that he felt shitty about that photo.[5:15:00]   And then he tells this story. There's Tom dancing like a maniac with flared out pants.[5:15:10]   Okay. He's on with Harlan Williams and Harlan Williams is actually a sneaky guy too. He's[5:15:16]   another guy where I think I hope that he's actually making fun of people. Uh, okay. Watch[5:15:24]   this. I just got a compliment. I just got fan art from my, uh, from I was doing a show in South[5:15:31]   Carolina and a guy like sketched me while I was on stage. I just got fan art. A guy sketched me[5:15:40]   while I'm on stage. Really weird. Cause the guy just drew you on stage at kill Tony,[5:15:45]   but you're just saying South Carolina and it's fan art. So is he telling the story we know,[5:15:53]   but under a different plot, right? Is he retelling the story in the way the comedians do where they[5:16:02]   tell it any way they want? I hope not, but let's hear the story. Somebody else drew Tom, I guess.[5:16:08]   Thank you. Your Dairy Queen flip offsets your waddle. I just got, that's a compliment. I just[5:16:15]   got fan art from my, uh, from I was doing a show in South Carolina and our guy like sketched me[5:16:22]   while I was on stage. Oh my God. You didn't have any clothes on. It was a, no, I was like, I was,[5:16:28]   uh, posing nude on stage and he gave it to me. It was so insulting. Yeah. You know what I mean?[5:16:35]   Yeah. This is what I am. Yeah. Like I, I felt pretty good. Like we had a good show report.[5:16:41]   So is he using this kill Tony experience, but rewriting it as something else so that[5:16:46]   it doesn't look like he was actually like, he wants to tell this like story,[5:16:50]   but he doesn't want to actually admit that that's what happened at kill Tony. So he can't[5:16:55]   say that Tony's artist is shitty. How would this have happened? Somebody else, or let's pretend[5:17:03]   he's telling the truth here. And he just got two really ugly drawings of him in the same week.[5:17:10]   And we were totally right about our prediction that he hates the drawing that Ryan G Evelt drew.[5:17:15]   You see how perfect this is in every way you look at it. He gave it to me. It was so insulting.[5:17:21]   Yeah. You know what I mean? This is what I am. Yeah. Like I, I felt pretty good. Like we had[5:17:26]   a good show report and this is what they were seeing the whole time. I've had that too.[5:17:33]   It's like, and they, and they think they're really good artists, so you can't criticize it,[5:17:39]   but then you get it. And it looks like, you know, you, you came right out of the river rafting ride[5:17:43]   from deliverance. It reminds me of a sticker competition I'm currently holding. Wait till[5:17:49]   you see, look at this. Somebody sent me this and we're not doing this. Somebody sent me this.[5:17:55]   Here's a sticker mic for the sticker contest. You'll print these and just distribute them by[5:18:00]   the thousands. Right? Look at this. Wait till you see what this guy drew of me. Well, I got to exit[5:18:07]   out of here, but I could feel where exactly where top pop is coming from. Cause look what[5:18:11]   somebody drew of me here. I am a 90 year old Keebler. Oh, so we're drawing me as the oldest[5:18:26]   man. Oh, here's a sticker of his elderly man. It's just this show where this really elderly,[5:18:32]   this is what somebody drew of me. I mean, it's so cute. Bless the person who made this. You[5:18:41]   gotta understand. I love it. So now I understand Tom poppy goes, Oh my God, this is what they're[5:18:47]   seeing. And you put, instead of these glasses, you put readers on me. I mean, my eyebrows ain't gray.[5:18:56]   That's so cute. You put readers on me and an old man's shirt. If somebody saw this sticker,[5:19:05]   they would go, this is an elderly show from an elderly guy. Just a cute comforting guy[5:19:15]   pointing. If you saw this, you would think you were going to be learning about how to times[5:19:19]   four by 44 on a math show by a teacher. People are saying it looks just like, just like me.[5:19:28]   So now I could totally understand where Tom is coming from. Cause this is me.[5:19:33]   I loved it to whoever made this ignore Mike's hang ups about his age. Oh, this is perfect.[5:19:38]   You're going to win the thousand dollars. We're going to give you a thousand dollars. So I could[5:19:45]   go around the world going, Oh, please listen to this show, please. I'll be, uh, yeah. Tune[5:19:51]   into this show. I'll be, uh, on the back of a flying squirrel going around town, living in[5:19:58]   the stumps of trees. Listen to the guy who made this. People are saying he hit the nail on the[5:20:03]   head. Yeah. So now that you can see, now you could see where Tom pop is coming from. People[5:20:10]   are saying that your eyebrows are looking low key gray. No, no, no, no, no. That's just a[5:20:20]   lack of color under the very thick brows. Can I make a pajama set with that? Where it's one of[5:20:26]   those ones where it's like a little t-shirt and then the image is just in the center of the chest[5:20:31]   and then the bottom pajama pants are a repeating pattern of that image. Yes, you can. If you have[5:20:37]   the money, which you don't, cause you got to go through me to get it. So no, there will be no[5:20:42]   pajamas made. Not on my dime. All right, watch this. This is Tom Papa in the same position as[5:20:48]   me now. Like one of your eyes is over here. Your waddles on your forehead. And you're like, this[5:20:55]   is how everyone, the world sees me. Why would I ever go on stage? Why would I ever leave the[5:21:00]   house? Why would I ever go on stage? Why would I leave the house? So when he was handed that Ryan[5:21:06]   J email picture, we were right. When we saw him go,[5:21:12]   why would you ever leave the house? That's right. Bread maker get in that kitchen[5:21:17]   and start baking those loaves. Nobody wants, they're throwing them away.[5:21:22]   People want maybe one slice a month of that shit. They don't want to eat sourdough day in and day[5:21:28]   out. It's hard to even store, you know, you cut the loaf in half, you eat one slice and then it's[5:21:35]   like, I got to eat this thing every day for a week in order to not waste it. I'm breaded out from[5:21:41]   the first giant slice. You ever see the first slice of a sourdough is about this big. It's[5:21:47]   the size of a state. And, uh, once you're done with that, it's like, I wish you could buy just[5:21:55]   sourdough by the slice because sometimes I only need one slice. I don't need a whole loaf, you[5:22:02]   know, by the way, when I go, um, rock crawling in my Jeep, I like to take a bunch of loaves of[5:22:08]   sourdough with me and put them all over the trail. And people think that it's a rock climbing[5:22:13]   obstacle and then they just smash right into, they can't believe the rocks are so soft.[5:22:19]   Oh, it was really upsetting. Is it the worst though? I would be terrified these days having[5:22:24]   daughters was, is that tough to become like super protective dad when they hit that age where[5:22:30]   they're starting. I think that was it. We're talking about fan art. What are you talking about?[5:22:36]   Who Harlan? Harlan's uh, who does he remind me of there? Was there anything more with[5:22:42]   Tom Papa today? No. And shout out to, um, Panda Johnson in the BBG. Oh, he founded that. We would[5:22:51]   have never seen it. And that post of him posting that only got four likes. I know people in the[5:22:57]   bring back group don't know what to like. They don't know what the best post of the week. I know[5:23:02]   people think they know what they're liking. They don't know what they're liking in that group.[5:23:06]   Uh, all right, let's show this. Uh, you want to see Ari Shafira and Louis J Gomez,[5:23:12]   all their parts from Tucker Carlson's death of comedy by next week and then do Tony neck.[5:23:20]   That's just the trailer. I've got the whole show, right? We're going to watch the whole show. Do we[5:23:24]   have time codes from that or we're just going to skip ahead? No, no, no. I have them. I must[5:23:30]   okay. Throw those in. And then we're going to show you. We had to download an app called Fox.[5:23:37]   Where is it? Fox nation. Everybody look at this. So of course, Fox nation found out that, uh,[5:23:47]   they wanted to be HBO max or they found out that they wanted to be the daily. This is what happens.[5:23:53]   Are you a media brand? Then you need to do everything HBO was doing.[5:23:58]   Are you a media brand? Then you need to have a Netflix and everything. Everybody needs to do[5:24:02]   exactly what everyone else is doing. Otherwise they're failing. We've never seen anything like[5:24:07]   this. This is going to go down as one of the craziest times in media history. When every[5:24:13]   company had an app that looks like HBO max and offers movies, originals, and other TV shows,[5:24:25]   along with specials, comedy specials, docs. I mean, literally this thing is just like,[5:24:31]   here's HBO max. We want an HBO max. We're Fox nation. Now Fox nation is way scarier than Fox.[5:24:40]   I mean, Fox is pretty friendly, right? Fox is the Simpsons, Bob's burgers. Fox is a fun[5:24:46]   loving sitcom plays. And then you go over to Fox news, you know, a completely psychotic version[5:24:54]   of Fox. It's weird that they're even related. And then if Fox news is a little too corny,[5:25:01]   it's too boring for you too much politics. You come over to Fox nation and now you have your[5:25:08]   daily wire version of Fox. And remember, you know, this Fox news, it's like the other thing. It's[5:25:15]   like, I know you hate CNN. I know you hate MSNBC. You know what that should tell you? You hate[5:25:22]   gay news shows. It doesn't mean, Oh, Fox news is good. Fox news is the exact same thing as CNN,[5:25:33]   but for those people, it's exactly as bad. So you should not be watching that under any[5:25:42]   circumstance. It is absolute psychotic television along with every other news show that's on TV.[5:25:50]   You shouldn't even be watching Bob's burgers. It's too kiddish.[5:25:56]   So I don't want you watching anything by Fox, but you go to the Bob's burgers movie,[5:26:00]   the Bob's burgers movie. If you want to watch that in four sittings,[5:26:04]   fine. I told her she wanted to watch the Bob's burger movie. I go, I can barely get through 23[5:26:10]   minutes of Bob's burgers without one ripping my hair out. There was nothing to touch.[5:26:15]   Of course. Amination. Domination was over. They haven't had a family guy out in eight months.[5:26:20]   You never know when that shows up dying without my stewie. How about a year of family guy,[5:26:26]   no stewie, no Chris. I think get this. I think there's a new family guy tonight.[5:26:30]   How about a year of family guy, no Lois, no stewie, no Lois, no Chris. Yeah. Just Peter[5:26:38]   and no other friends either. Just Peter doing some better stuff than he's ever done. Now, uh, I, I,[5:26:47]   the Bob's burger movie that was held to get through. I can't even, I made her watch it in[5:26:50]   four parts. If you want to watch it, we'll watch it in 23 minute increments because I'm no way[5:26:56]   watching that long of Bob's burgers. Oh, mr. Shed water. What are you doing down by the[5:27:02]   arena? No, sorry. That's too bizarre. Freaky deaky. You know, um, here is Fox nation. And what's[5:27:14]   funny is we're like, Oh, this is a pretty fucking white. And listen, I am pro white.[5:27:21]   The other here's me on a, on Netflix. Look at all these fucking mixes and these chinks. It's[5:27:26]   all mixes and shakes, but you go to Fox nation. It is all very white nation-y type of people.[5:27:36]   I mean, look how nation-y this shit gets. Everything is Abraham Lincoln. I mean,[5:27:42]   that might be the only black guy. I don't even know if that guy's black.[5:27:46]   That might be the only black that you're going to see here. Everything is American presidents.[5:27:51]   Like everything on here is of the most racist guy. You could be Moscow murder.[5:27:58]   I mean, we couldn't believe it. You can heal a Klein.[5:28:03]   I mean, look at this. This is what you get. Oh, here. Look, the Dan Baguinos.[5:28:11]   I mean, this is like the most racist network I've ever seen. And this is all, it's all white.[5:28:18]   They will not have a black unless it's like a slave. And they're showing you,[5:28:24]   they don't have one black Chinese. They are giving you exactly what you claimed you didn't want from[5:28:32]   these other channels. And it is white. It is serious. This feels like going to a history[5:28:38]   class and you had a mean history teacher and he is like, there's no talk. You're going to get[5:28:44]   detention. If you talk in this guy's class and his class is hard, this is like going to a history[5:28:51]   class. And the teacher is tough. He was in the army. This teacher, they say he doesn't stand[5:28:57]   for it. You ever had a teacher like that? The mean teacher, everyone talked about him. That's what[5:29:03]   this channel is. You're not going to find anything fun. Uh, surprisingly, it looks like[5:29:09]   cops is everywhere on this front page. You go to Fox nation's homepage and episodes of cops[5:29:17]   from over the last 30 years are everywhere. It's like the most popular show on Fox nation is cops,[5:29:23]   which is interesting. The only way they'll view black people is through the handcuff of a cops.[5:29:28]   Um, so, um, which is, I'm not saying that's bad. A lot of times you hear people report[5:29:36]   something like this. It's like them condone it, condemning it. Not me. I'm condemning.[5:29:42]   I'm not condemning the jerk. We should watch that tonight. The jerk it's all white. You can't find[5:29:47]   a black guy. It's all, and they're going to give you the white stuff you've been missing.[5:29:52]   So here's Fox nation. It's going to be impossible to unsubscribe from this. So don't even try.[5:29:58]   It's not going to work like the other sites. And then you see, uh, they've got the new Roseanne[5:30:03]   bar special, which is great. None of you watched it. You'll all talk about it on Twitter. No one[5:30:09]   watched it. I did. And then you've got, we're going to see a lot of our friends. Let's click[5:30:13]   on this. The death of comedy by Tucker Carlson. Oh yeah. He is the right. He knows comedy. Oh,[5:30:20]   he knows all about my comedy. So let's see, we'll play the latest episode. People are asking why[5:30:26]   you never make fun of CNN. Oh, CNN is wonderful. I'm always sticking up for, you know, they got a[5:30:33]   lot of stuff. Is CNN doing a show with Louis J. Gomez today? Please send me the link.[5:30:42]   It's Ari Shaffir on CNN right now. Send it. It's being shiny for me.[5:30:48]   CNN verse Fox news. I'm on Fox news aside. You are?[5:31:00]   It's how stupid you become?[5:31:03]   Here's your buddies Ari Shaffir, Louis J. Gomez on Tucker Carlson show.[5:31:09]   You know, Tucker, if you hate any, anybody, if you hate anybody, you should hate him.[5:31:13]   He's doing all the lying that you claim to hate. All the lying and stealing and conning.[5:31:19]   He does all of that. He hates the libs though. So maybe you'll give him a pass.[5:31:28]   Okay. Let's see what he does. Warning profanity. Discretion of light. Remember my job that I've[5:31:34]   been doing for 20 years is under attack and Tucker knows my plight. Let's find out what's happening[5:31:42]   to me. Who is more offensive than Louis J. Gomez and Ari Shaffir. This has been proven on record.[5:31:51]   So, but I was not in the documentary. You know, who else wasn't in the documentary? Josh Denny[5:31:57]   America's number one canceled comment featured on Tucker Carlson, not in the documentary.[5:32:02]   And he even got canceled by Rutherford, New Jersey.[5:32:06]   And he's shooing Rutherford, New Jersey. Cause he's Gavin McInnes.[5:32:13]   Josh Denny was not featured in the lawsuit. Thanks to Xanalytics.[5:32:18]   And we know it from CJ and Xanalytics. Uh, yes. Um, um, uh, Xander found out,[5:32:29]   you know, Josh Denny said we're shooing the city of Rutherford. Well, you're not.[5:32:34]   Gavin is Gavin sued them. Josh is not part of the lawsuit. So we don't know why.[5:32:41]   Why isn't Josh one of the investors of the lawsuit? The people who love tweeting at Josh[5:32:46]   all day, you guys should just start asking me why he wasn't in Tucker's stock or you guys not close.[5:32:51]   Yes. Ask Josh. Why weren't you in Tucker's doc? I thought you guys were close.[5:32:56]   Did they edit you out? Make some noise for hip hop history.[5:33:00]   A local man accused of attacking Dave Chappelle on stage says he was triggered by the comedian's[5:33:06]   jokes. Netflix employees walking out of the company's Hollywood office,[5:33:11]   Hollywood's biggest night overshadowed by an on-stage flat. Oh wow. Wow.[5:33:18]   They keep using this Will Smith clip in terms of comedy is being censored by the woke and cancel[5:33:25]   culture. Will Smith doesn't have anything to do with censoring comics[5:33:32]   as part of this woke cancel culture, culture war. This is not the same. It just happened to be a[5:33:40]   comedian based incident, right? Will Smith wasn't like I'm doing this because of, you know, it's[5:33:47]   just not, it's not PC. That's not why he was doing that. That was just anger. That doesn't really[5:33:54]   count as part of their taking comedy away from us. And then one girl goes, we think you're not[5:34:06]   entitled to be making some of the jokes you're making. We want to talk about another comedian.[5:34:10]   Well, Kevin Hart's job hosting the 91st Academy Awards lasted just two days.[5:34:17]   And we won't tolerate jokes. I don't think we should encourage the most easily upset,[5:34:23]   the most easily offended most hypersense. I can't believe that happened in our culture to establish[5:34:32]   a cultural norm. This war on jokes must end. We don't get angry at the person who's screwing us.[5:34:42]   We get angry at the person who's pointing out that someone's screwing us. And that's where I[5:34:46]   come in. How do you get showing his bitch from 20 years ago?[5:34:58]   Remember, this is a Fox nation. You needed to have money to watch.[5:35:01]   Is the hallmark of a free society where leaders tolerate mockery of themselves citizens to laugh[5:35:07]   at their expense. You have accountability in places where they don't, you have lies and[5:35:13]   propaganda. The places that we used to go for laughs have been replaced by overt political[5:35:18]   ideology. Late night talk shows once hosted by comedians are now run by partisan mouthpieces.[5:35:23]   Television sitcoms promote political agendas. Blockbuster comedy movies aren't funny.[5:35:29]   You know, it's funny. They play this part. Yeah. And a lot of it, it's very confusing.[5:35:34]   So they're showing like all these cancellations and stuff in the background. But then this part,[5:35:39]   they go, there's no more comedy movies. And then they start showing a clip from the hangover[5:35:46]   as to show like how great comedy movies used to be.[5:35:50]   So this is the times voiceover is about how shitty it's really weird. It's like poorly added.[5:35:56]   It's like a student edit because you wouldn't have put that scene. And it's like, we're supposed[5:36:01]   to know that the hangover or the golden times of comedy. Like when I was growing up, the hangover[5:36:07]   was just as cringe to me as any of this cancel culture. We didn't look to the hangover as that's[5:36:15]   where he's saying that the hangover is the modern bad. I don't know. And then it's like, what do you[5:36:20]   but he starts showing the hangover. And I don't know if he's trying to say the hangover is where[5:36:25]   comedy died or this was the last good time we had any real comedy. And then he plays this clip[5:36:32]   by overt political. He's showing Jimmy Kimmel, which I'm assuming he hates. And then he shows[5:36:40]   the hangover, but he doesn't specify if this is when comedy was good. Once hosted by comedians[5:36:47]   are now run by partisan mouthpieces, television sitcoms, promote political trans comedy movies.[5:36:55]   He's showing like the talk show shock. Here's Jimmy Kimmel, the TV show shock. Here's this trans[5:37:01]   show, which does suck. I mean, that's disgusting show, but then he's like movies suck. And then he[5:37:09]   started showing the hangover, which was from, I think 20 years ago. And then he shows this scene[5:37:16]   from the hangover. So it's very weirdly edited. What here's the scene they've all but disappeared.[5:37:23]   I just wish your friends were as mature as you. They are mature. Actually, you just have to[5:37:27]   get to know them better. Paging Dr. Faggot.[5:37:33]   Dr. Faggot. Comedy. Is he saying he hates this scene or he wishes you could say Dr. Faggot again,[5:37:42]   which you just did on Fox. So we're still good, right? Link. I don't understand. How did you[5:37:55]   play paging Dr. Faggot on Fox? If comedy is under attack and you're not allowed to do this,[5:38:02]   how did you do it? How is it? Self is going away. Real comedy has survived by escaping the[5:38:10]   gatekeepers. Millions have stopped watching the woke sermons on television and had begun to look[5:38:15]   for alternatives. We interviewed prominent figures across the comedy business to learn how comedians[5:38:21]   are fighting censorship. This is the current state of comedy. Hi, Ari Shafir from 20 years ago.[5:38:31]   Today what we're going to do is make fun of the Chinese. Got any clips of Ari being offensive[5:38:36]   from today? You don't. He's trying to show how funny offensive comedy is. This is a 20 year[5:38:43]   old clip of Ari Shafir. Ari Shafir won't say boo. You don't say not an offensive. The most offensive[5:38:50]   Ari Shafir thing does is smoke a cigar. So Ari Shafir is like the, the thesis of this whole[5:38:59]   thing. I mean, he is like the main subject matter. Watch this. Here is Ari Shafir. The Filipinos,[5:39:05]   the Hawaiians, the Cambodians, the Vietnamese. Hey, tell them what you want. They're all[5:39:10]   oriental to me. And then Ari is like the subject. He's talking to Tucker, the whole documentary,[5:39:15]   it's like, Oh, so 20 years ago, you said offensive comedy, and then you stopped because[5:39:22]   of cancel culture. She's being celebrated as like a hero in this doc. Somebody's like pushing the[5:39:29]   boundaries. Well, you pushed the boundaries and then they told you to stop and then you stopped.[5:39:35]   So aren't you the problem? Or I don't really remember it, but maybe your special[5:39:39]   Jew was pushing boundaries. And in that case, you're fine. No, I do remember. It was not.[5:39:45]   I mean, there's nothing defensive. Here's how you know, it wasn't offensive. If it's on YouTube[5:39:51]   and not banned, it wasn't offensive and there's no problem with it. So if his special was so[5:39:57]   offensive, he's pushing boundaries. Then why is it on YouTube? If YouTube is such a censorship[5:40:01]   Haven, I just don't understand. So here's Ari Shafir hasn't done anything offensive in 20 years.[5:40:06]   He was scared out of it. And I don't count him saying Kobe Bryant was a piece of shit.[5:40:13]   What happened when he said that? Do you guys remember? He hid for one and a half years.[5:40:20]   Okay. That's what Ari Shafir did. He said, Kobe Bryant deserved to die. And then every[5:40:25]   black person was out for his head and he moved out of town. Remember this? You didn't see him[5:40:29]   for a year. That's not standing up to cancel culture. That's running away from it. And then[5:40:35]   coming back after they've forgotten and then not doing anything offensive to catch their eye again.[5:40:43]   Fear is a comic who can push the star is tasked to audiences and offend his viewers. Yeah. He[5:40:49]   pushes boundaries, test audience and offends his fears. And he's blowing by the way, they've got[5:40:54]   a slow motion shot of him blowing cigar smoke in my face, which is the top thing I make fun of him[5:41:00]   about. The Chinese, Japanese, the Filipinos, the Hawaiians, the Cambodians, Vietnamese.[5:41:09]   Ari Shafir is a comic who can push boundaries, test audiences and offend his viewers. It wasn't[5:41:16]   my fault. I have one of those like 70%, 2009 of those 2009 clips. Like I'm a little drunk.[5:41:22]   She's a little fat. You know, in an age of wide censorship, Shafir has managed to pack[5:41:28]   clubs and get millions of views online with his deeply offensive comedy 20 years ago,[5:41:34]   any offensive comedian areas. And now here he is now he's doing a specific interview. So it's not[5:41:38]   like they just took some clips, said whatever they wanted to say. He came out. I want to be the[5:41:43]   spokesman for you, Tucker Carlson, who again, because you hate CNN, you like Tucker Carlson[5:41:53]   because he's the enemy of your enemy, right? This should not be how this works. You've got to be a[5:42:00]   little bit more creative than just siding with Tucker Carlson. Come on guys. It's not how it[5:42:07]   needs to work. You could hate CNN and cancel culture without buddying up to Tucker Carlson,[5:42:16]   but you just can't find another way, can you? Just has to be this way. So here is Ari Shafir[5:42:21]   giving this interview and wait till you see what he says. You're going to love Ari and Louis's parts[5:42:27]   and I got those parts. Everybody else is just playing you the trailer and telling you either[5:42:33]   A or B from Twitter, not us. We watched the whole thing. We got some great scenes, the scenes that[5:42:39]   you're too lazy to watch yourself. Wait till you see these. I'm going to have some Mary Jane. You[5:42:43]   guys want to get stoned? That's offensive. Very offensive to do lighter. This a puffer. Yeah. Do[5:42:54]   I have an extra one? Yeah, I do. No, I do. Yep. I always have an extra everything. Here you go.[5:43:01]   Yeah. Beautifully caught. Thank you. Okay. Here we go. We're going to smoke some guns. We're going[5:43:07]   to watch Ari Shafir and Louis's parts again. They've only showed you the trailer. They won't[5:43:12]   watch any further than the trailer. We're going to show you the light up with me. So that's good.[5:43:20]   Sometimes, you know, it's very, I'm telling you it's, it's a real battle with people because[5:43:25]   everywhere else they go, they got one or two options everywhere else they go. They got a guy[5:43:32]   telling you it would be very hard, you know, cause Joe Rogan's telling you this, they were[5:43:38]   all telling you the same thing, but I'm pleading with you to believe me that they are all wrong.[5:43:46]   It's fine. Everyone's saying Tucker's sauce balls. Tucker's the worst, worse than any[5:43:49]   good. Cause you can't just start liking. We can't just start liking other types of terrible people[5:43:56]   because we're so mad about this cancel stuff. It's really, I mean, they're playing you. Tucker is[5:44:03]   using you. He cares about comedy, the crazy insane, whitest serial killerist, psycho guy.[5:44:14]   I mean, we should not be involved with a guy like this ever. He would be like the newsman. If we[5:44:19]   were in a post-apocalyptic society. I mean, it goes without saying we were never supposed to be[5:44:25]   people like Ted Cruz. You're never supposed to be involved with these psychos. Trump was what got[5:44:31]   you over that bridge. He was like the Eminem. He's like how they got white kids into rap.[5:44:37]   You know, he got people into, cause he's very funny. So you're following Trump is he's like[5:44:42]   an entertainer in a comic, in a celebrity figure. And then he got you into Ted Cruz and stuff like[5:44:49]   that. That's psycho. It has to stop at Trump. Trump is the only guy out of this whole thing.[5:44:55]   You're allowed to be humoring. The other guys are that's like crazy. All of them.[5:45:05]   You don't just pick the other bad side because you hate one side more. Yeah. Trust me. You don't[5:45:09]   have to do it. Don't be peer pressured into doing that. All right. Wait till you see these great[5:45:14]   clips. Here's Ari Shafir. A little drunk. She's a little fat. In an age of wide censorship,[5:45:23]   Shafir has managed to pack clubs and get millions of views online with his deeply offensive comedy.[5:45:29]   Listen, any offensive comedian. Well, it sounds like you're doing pretty good.[5:45:33]   I thought this was about how comedians can't get work being offensive. It's called the death of[5:45:37]   the death of comedy. And you just said he's packing clubs and getting millions of views[5:45:42]   and he's rich from offensive comedy. I mean, you just said that I'm telling you these people[5:45:48]   and you sit there and you go, yeah, yeah, yeah. They're using you. It's as clear as day.[5:45:54]   I just disputed the whole dang thing. And this is coming from me. A guy who needs[5:46:00]   cancel culture to stop. Right. Here he is. We're just trying to make people laugh.[5:46:08]   If you get upset, that's a bonus, but that's not what we're going for. Your eyes. If you[5:46:12]   go to people, open your eyes a little bit. Is your pussy slanted? Is your pussy slanted?[5:46:18]   Where have we heard that combination of words before? Well, if any of you follow Josh Denny,[5:46:25]   you'd see that a tweet that is used against him time after time after time is a tweet that he[5:46:32]   posted about a Chinese girl having a slanty pussy. So the second link here, this one,[5:46:42]   look at this. Here's Josh Denny. This is his famous tweet that everybody uses against him[5:46:48]   to try to get him canceled with the food network. Hey, Chinese girl at the pool,[5:46:53]   please close your legs. No one wants to see your slanty pussy. So this was written in August of[5:47:00]   2012. Surely this Ari joke came out before 2012. So Josh Denny is just stealing from Ari Shafir,[5:47:09]   huh? With this slanty pussy joke. Listen to this comedy. Listen, any offensive comedian. It goes[5:47:14]   back to one click, goes back like 15 seconds. There's like no way to go back without going[5:47:20]   back too far. Like one arrow. As soon as it pauses, everyone just memorize the last time[5:47:24]   to make people laugh. If you get upset, that's a bonus, but that's not what we're going for.[5:47:30]   Your eyes. It'd be good if you could open your eyes a little bit. Is your pussy like slanted?[5:47:34]   The Josh Denny tweet. Josh Denny stole that from Ari. Fuck you. People are like, aren't you sorry?[5:47:39]   I'm like, no, I made millions of people laugh. I'll never be sorry for something like that.[5:47:44]   Till you're 90 something years old, you know, and you're like, I think I'll masturbate one more[5:47:47]   time. I've been masturbating in 15 years. My Parkinson's will help me. Tucker's got this[5:47:53]   already. He's like, Oh, here's the subject of my documentary that you're supposed to root for.[5:47:58]   And he's Jewish in his new specials called Jew. You guys love that. Yeah. They're going to love[5:48:04]   that. It's like, do you not know what Fox nation means? They didn't tune into Fox nation and the[5:48:13]   big, this is like Fox, Fox nation's big debut thing. Like they're canceling comedy. I'm Tucker[5:48:18]   Carlson. Uh, welcome to where we're all rooting for Jewish guy. Now they're watching this and[5:48:24]   they're thinking you're showing the guy that we're against. You see, they're so confused.[5:48:29]   People are sitting there. It's like, you'll see this in the Roseanne standup show. Everybody who[5:48:34]   went to the Roseanne standup show was there for like cancel culture, anti-trans stuff. And the[5:48:41]   minute Roseanne starts talking about her actual life, they're zoned out. They don't say words,[5:48:46]   silence. And it's the same thing here. It's like Tucker, Tucker, Tucker,[5:48:50]   don't you know anything about pandering here? Your audience hates Jewish people.[5:48:59]   You're making this documentary. The subject is a Jew and you're showing them Jude.[5:49:03]   They're going, wait, wait, wait. Is this the guy that is screwing up comedy? They don't know.[5:49:09]   You're confused them. Watch this. Yes. The worst thing that could possibly happen is if you don't[5:49:17]   deliver the material, you feel as funny because you're afraid of backlash. The only thing you[5:49:21]   should be afraid of is the crowd's not going to laugh. Television networks and Hollywood[5:49:25]   movie studios are now almost purely political. There's no room for comedy there. So real comedy[5:49:31]   is thriving where it first began in clubs. We've been producing comedy steadily from that time[5:49:37]   without missing a beat, including during the pandemic. And we were the only club in the world[5:49:41]   running. And we've become, this is, uh, Danny go lightly's the girl, Anthony Kumiya. I bit her[5:49:49]   hand. I did. I went, Oh, I went, Oh, that's her dad. That's Danny go lightly's dad.[5:50:00]   That's what we were screaming. We were watching this doctor. We're like, Oh,[5:50:03]   Kumiya. Oh, you cut dad. You probably jerk off to Kumiya biting your daughter's hand. Oh yeah.[5:50:12]   And we're against Kumiya. So it's weird. We hated this doc. That's how much we hated this doc.[5:50:17]   Cause this guy's a fucking moron Vinny brand from the stress factory. Oh yeah. We got all[5:50:21]   the comedians. We're really old school. We got some pictures of the comedian. Did he get[5:50:25]   debarking surgery? He did. What a tool you let your daughter get bit by a Kumiya and you didn't[5:50:32]   stand up for yourself. If Kumiya bit my daughter. Oh man. Nobody better lay a finger on my daughter[5:50:40]   finger. That's basically what they're saying. When I hear them say that shit like Sam Tripoli,[5:50:45]   Sam Tripoli, this man, you could learn from him. He let Kumiya bite his daughter[5:50:50]   and he still gets up. He doesn't get violent. I'm still very frustrated over the biting.[5:50:55]   Hey Billy, Kumiya owns your daughter. Sorry. You didn't stand up for, you think I'd be on his side.[5:51:03]   I'm not. If somebody bit my daughter, bite their fucking face. You don't let somebody bite your[5:51:11]   daughter and then just let them do a network over there with everybody that works at your club.[5:51:17]   You either quit the club and move out of town or you kill the man who bit your daughter.[5:51:21]   Fucking cuck. What I think is one of the most recognizable clubs in the country. Owners like[5:51:28]   Viti Brand are making it possible. Brand runs the stress factory in New Jersey. Where comedians[5:51:34]   who want to say what they actually think come and they do. As comics, so they have a lot of clubs.[5:51:41]   It's thriving in comedy clubs would you say? Oh, you did say that actually. Comedy now,[5:51:46]   offensive comedy is thriving in every club. Oh, I thought you said we couldn't do it. Oh no,[5:51:53]   you could do it in every club. Where can't you do it? Um, just like a Disney movie[5:52:00]   that's like for families. Oh, so is it being... Maybe once a year a kooky lady from the street[5:52:07]   will... And you can pretty much do all of it on YouTube. Oh, can you do it on Twitter? Yes.[5:52:17]   Where can you do it in a little kids club? No. Oh, but don't you hate when little kids get exposed[5:52:23]   to offensive stuff? Yes. So they can't do it in front of little kids or in big giant corporate[5:52:31]   mainstream movies for families? Yes. And it's completely done? No, it is thriving.[5:52:38]   And millions of people love this stuff. Okay.[5:52:48]   Do you hate black people?[5:52:51]   No, of course not. Water is just Fox Nation. Make fun of it. So if we can't do that for you,[5:52:59]   maybe you shouldn't necessarily go to a comedy club because here the comics should be free to[5:53:06]   say what they want to say. Until he's got five people fill in the seats. Oh, free tickets to[5:53:10]   everyone. Please, please. This is literally like if a bunch of waiters made a documentary[5:53:15]   and they were like, oh, these people are always coming up to me and sending their food back to[5:53:20]   the kitchen because it's not cooked right. Exactly. Yeah. It's like, okay. So it's a[5:53:25]   so what you're saying is... complaint you get at your job. So what you're saying, if the comedy is good,[5:53:30]   everybody loves it. And if it sucks, they hate it. And maybe you get a kooky customer[5:53:37]   once in a while. It's like the examples they have are like four. You have like four[5:53:43]   examples. And one of them was Will Smith slapping Chris Rock. That's not happening in clubs[5:53:50]   across the country. Let's see more. You're going to see your favorites and let the marketplace[5:53:56]   decide whether it's good or bad. We're kind of like a weird word prohibition. Can't say this.[5:54:00]   Can't say that. That's why I feel like every now and then we should all go to a completely incorrect[5:54:03]   speakeasy. This is where we can all go to say horrible stuff and nobody cares. You go down some[5:54:08]   creaky stairs, you bang on a big steel door. The guy's like, what's the password? Retarded. Get in[5:54:14]   here. If you came here to have your moral or ethics, or you become educated, you should know that as a[5:54:20]   cohort, we're some of the dumbest people on the planet. That's why we're comedians. Okay. That's[5:54:24]   why we're not. You're not a comedian. Doctors. And we're not scientists. We are all flawed in some[5:54:31]   way. Oh, the ace man. And nobody has gotten stupider than the ace. I used to like the ace[5:54:39]   man. I used to think he was a confident guy. The ace man's got nothing in that tank anymore. After[5:54:44]   that divorce from Lynette, he was divorced. He was divorced because he's just been too, um,[5:54:51]   uh, extreme for her. She don't like him no more. I don't want to hear no, the guy's talking about[5:55:02]   women. You know what? It really is pathetic. I don't need to hear the ace man. Tell it how it is.[5:55:08]   You couldn't make your marriage work. Now you're floundering around. I mean, look at his face,[5:55:14]   cut through his face. Look at this. The confidence in the ace man is gone. I mean, what's the worst[5:55:20]   card now? He's that man. What's the worst card. The two. You're the two. Yeah. That's probably[5:55:29]   a good card to a lot of people. Who is on the episode. We just listened to him. Oh,[5:55:34]   Sam Tripoli. He's so out of it. The whole episode, just doing the most like boomerie women's[5:55:41]   complaints as if they had never before been heard. He'd be like, women can't make it. It's such a[5:55:47]   shame. It's such a shame. And at least when Bill Maher does it, it's like from your recent divorce.[5:55:52]   Yeah. At least when Bill Maher does it, you know, he's able to hold his eyes together.[5:55:56]   It's all about the eyes and Corolla's eyes are shot. Exactly. You're divorced. It's nothing more[5:56:02]   pathetic than a divorce. Sorry. I mean, if it's in within the first year, fine. That's a simple[5:56:13]   mistake. 23 years or so. And then you get divorced. I mean, how fucking pathetic are you?[5:56:19]   What were you doing? What were you thinking? And what have you done? A divorce is a brutal tell[5:56:27]   that somebody is awful, awful, awful, awful. Robin Tran says he bombed at the Alec Baldwin roast and[5:56:33]   complained about cancel culture during his set. Yeah. And I, I, I, I'm telling you guys. And how[5:56:40]   many years ago was that 10? Yeah, probably. So he is here today and I'm telling you the Ace man,[5:56:48]   he's changed. He's different. If you ever liked him to begin with, that's all gone. Trust me. We,[5:56:54]   we tried to watch it. It's a totally different person. He's got no soul anymore. Here he is.[5:57:00]   In Los Angeles is K rock radio. You then co-hosted love look at this show with Jimmy Kimmel. Listen[5:57:06]   to this lie in the business changed dramatically over the last 30 years. I started on a station[5:57:11]   that people work their career and never get to. And that was the first radio station I was on.[5:57:18]   But, but it wasn't political because we lived in semi-normal times. All thanks to the woman's[5:57:25]   suffrage movement led by Elizabeth Cady Stanton and Susan B Anthony pioneers in the field of[5:57:32]   bitching, moaning, and complaining. Corolla was hugely successful in the entertainment business,[5:57:44]   but he saw what was coming. So in 2009, Corolla was so successful, but he saw what was coming.[5:57:50]   So in 2009, he started his own podcast. Listen to this. What he's really going to say here,[5:57:57]   launched his own podcast. One of the first, a show that would inspire a future generation.[5:58:02]   See Tucker does this. He always does this. He just bans it to however it needs to be. So in 2009,[5:58:08]   Adam Corolla was fired from his job in terrestrial radio and started the podcast[5:58:16]   because he had nothing else. He didn't see what was coming and start the podcast. He was fired[5:58:24]   from his real job. Okay. We were all there. Mangria comedians to escape the gatekeepers[5:58:34]   to this day. The Adam Corolla show is the most downloaded daily podcasts on planet earth.[5:58:39]   What I'm sort of a vining rod for society as a comedian. You don't want to get in a position[5:58:48]   where you can't say stuff that you're thinking because that's the death of being a comedian.[5:58:54]   You think this, you say this. I feel like they drew first blood, you know,[5:59:00]   like when they go like, you've changed, like you think I've changed, but I haven't changed.[5:59:05]   You've changed. You've gone nuts. Good comeback. You think I've changed? No, you've changed.[5:59:14]   Checkmate. It's like, that wasn't really a good comeback. You think I've changed? No, you've[5:59:20]   changed. And now all I'm going to do is talk about the change only. Podcasts like the Adam[5:59:30]   Corolla show showed comedians. They too could make it on their own. Luis J Gomez hosts the[5:59:35]   most other comedians speak their mind. My name is Louis J Gomez. The owners of gas digital network.[5:59:45]   One of the creators of skank fest and one third of the Legion of skanks, the most offensive podcasts[5:59:49]   on earth. The most racist person ever opposed slavery in 1619. The one person who saw the[5:59:56]   future that you didn't need to have black people working for free. I didn't think they'd work hard[6:00:02]   for money. People talk. You showed a clip of the Legion of skanks bombing out. There was a whole[6:00:09]   crowd of people. This is what the crowd was doing. That's the clip you showed. I don't even know what[6:00:18]   they said that offensive for their standards. The word black people was sad. And they're like,[6:00:25]   look, see offensive coming to this black people. Why is black people in offensive thing to say?[6:00:32]   That's bizarre. Here's how cancel culture doesn't exist. It exists on such a cellular level. There's[6:00:39]   a fear amongst content creators, definitely amongst comedians, but without a doubt, I'm sure[6:00:43]   it exists across the board in the industry. There is a fear of getting canceled. Kevin[6:00:48]   Hart's job hosting the 91st Academy awards lasted just two days. Hart stepped down following an[6:00:54]   outcry over previous homophobic tweets. There's a fear of saying something. Do you see the trend[6:01:00]   here? Kevin Hart stepped down and canceled himself. Louis J. Gomez censors his YouTube[6:01:10]   videos and Ari Shaffir stopped doing the amazing racist about 15 years ago. And when he did his[6:01:17]   Kobe joke, he hid for one and a half years. They don't tell you that in the doc, though,[6:01:25]   they show you these people is fighting on the front lines of offensive free speech. Here they[6:01:32]   are somebody and everybody before they say anything before they put out anything, they're[6:01:37]   overthinking every single aspect of it, right? That kills a flow state of creativity. And I think[6:01:43]   that is what cancel culture is. It's killing that flow state. And that's, what's been canceled.[6:01:47]   Dave Chappelle showing Minneapolis canceled. Your flow state is great. What's wrong with[6:01:51]   anything that's happening to you? You have a successful network. Scangfest is huge.[6:01:55]   I just don't understand. All the people in this documentary talking are doing like better than[6:02:00]   they could have ever dreamed. Aren't they all? All of them. And you know what I was thinking?[6:02:05]   I bet more people are hearing offensive comedy now than any other time in history. I don't know[6:02:11]   what time they think they're remembering when you would turn on TV and they would allow you to do[6:02:16]   offensive comedy. And there was no offensive things anywhere in our entire life. When did you[6:02:23]   ever, what are you thinking of that was so offensive and allowed? I just don't understand[6:02:31]   where you think it was. But I have such a soft spot for Lewis. When I see him there, I'm like,[6:02:36]   Oh, he's just doing this because he's such a nice guy. And he thinks that he's like, Oh yeah,[6:02:40]   I'll do the Tucker in the rear because I'm such a nice guy. But it's like, stop this.[6:02:44]   Stop being such a nice guy. This doesn't make any sense. You don't have to do it.[6:02:47]   There's some more. By a venue after a backlash. Jimmy Dore, the host of the Jimmy Dore show,[6:02:52]   has emerged as a leading anti-establishment political voice. He's also a standup comic.[6:02:57]   I think I'm the leader of the dirtbag left. Where did you get that from? That's not your term.[6:03:03]   What? The dirtbag left. He saw someone say that on Twitter and then he was like,[6:03:07]   I'll just call myself that as well. What's exciting is Jimmy Dore when podcasting[6:03:13]   was first started and come out right around when Marc Maron first got popular, Jimmy Dore[6:03:18]   had a popular comedy podcast and then it kind of like turned to shit and he went away. He had to[6:03:26]   reinvent himself as this political guy and now he's back. But I remember, I remember watching[6:03:33]   Jimmy Dore, his career fade from, you know, rallied, uh, you know, reputable, relevant[6:03:41]   comedian guy to nothing. Uh, and I guess now he's back and he is a devious[6:03:50]   guy on the left or something. I don't understand him to run for that position.[6:03:54]   I don't know why he's on this doc. If he's from the left. We don't get angry at the person who's[6:04:00]   screwing us. We get angry at the person who's pointing out that someone's screwing us. And[6:04:05]   that's where I come in. In America, first, your father's president, you're born half a moron and[6:04:09]   you become president. Comedy is supposed to show where the establishment narrative is wrong. And[6:04:16]   what comedians started to do was to forward the status quo and start to, you know, embrace[6:04:22]   censorship. That's the opposite of comedy. Yeah. I loved the tonight show back when it was just[6:04:34]   like nigger and faggot. Hey faggot, you fucking nigger. That's when the tonight show was good.[6:04:41]   Not now how it's so clean and censored. Cause like in the chapter going, the dirt bag left fucking[6:04:48]   hates Jimmy door is just a weird, bizarre things are happening out there. Here's some more.[6:05:00]   Is that comedy? It is now the one thing that people currently in power can't stand is being[6:05:07]   made fun of for years, they publicly attacked anyone who dares to ridicule them or their sacred[6:05:13]   cows. They threatened the careers of entertainers and ordinary people alike. We didn't care what[6:05:19]   and it seems like they've won, uh, which is really, really interesting. I didn't know you[6:05:23]   guys could be beat by trans betas. I just don't understand. So these guys like protest. They're[6:05:29]   like, please stop that. And you're like, okay, we will. Comedy is under attack guys. This naked gay[6:05:37]   trans guy danced about it. And this lesbo on the microphone says we're over. And then you abided[6:05:44]   by that, I guess. Why can't you just ignore these freaks? Imagine if every day is like,[6:05:52]   Hey guys, I'd love to do some hardcore comedy for you. But, uh, this woman here,[6:05:58]   she said no at this one protest. So we're censoring it all today because of her.[6:06:06]   That's what you're doing. You have been defeated by trans freaks.[6:06:12]   But did you want to skip ahead? Yeah. Yeah. What's the, I mean,[6:06:16]   that was kind of all the parts with Ari and you could go to like 1950 and we could see the ending[6:06:20]   part. Didn't they have some really cringe things though? Ari said some really cringe things in his[6:06:25]   interviews. That's I need to show people that well here, just skip to the parts where you see.[6:06:30]   Yeah. Here's I'll skip to the first. We see Ari cause nobody could be cringier than this.[6:06:35]   Here's Jim, the worm Norton. I'm worried about getting canceled for actual rape.[6:06:42]   So I've smashed that together with cancel culture. That's what he's worried about.[6:06:46]   It's being canceled if you don't let him dress up as chip chip.[6:06:49]   Exactly. Yes. Here's Ari dorks. Absolute dorks. I like going dork hunting. I like going and[6:06:56]   fucking sniffing out the dorks the way a pig would with a, with a truffle.[6:07:01]   Ari goes dork hunting. Oh yeah. Where? Because I just saw you with a dork the other day smoking[6:07:07]   a cigar. His name is Joe. I reached a fierce like, you know what I do online? I sniff out[6:07:12]   dorks and I say, fuck off door. I mean, listen to this. This is really being said. Listen,[6:07:19]   it's a lie. 100% of the time dorks absolute dorks. I like going dork hunting. I like going[6:07:27]   and fucking sniffing out the dorks the way a pig would with a, with a truffle[6:07:32]   finding them and exposing them for the fucking dorks they are.[6:07:35]   And when you get one of those comics, this joke is too far. It's like you've made them[6:07:40]   hypocrites. It's so joyous. It's so joyous to show someone what a hypocrite they are.[6:07:45]   They all have the quotes from George Carlin on their Twitter page. Oh, your job as a comic is[6:07:49]   to find the line and step over it. And then they go, well, this one went too far. So let's visit[6:07:53]   that playground. What who's got George Carlin quotes? Nobody. Can you send me a link to[6:08:01]   somebody who's got George Carlin in their bio, please. Besides Josh Denny or you are,[6:08:08]   it's, they're living in a world of shroom. They're on people come after him. And they've got a quote[6:08:14]   from George Carlin in their bio. These people are talking about how they're like under attack all[6:08:19]   day by who I've never seen Ari in a fight with somebody. And then, uh, you know, he's out[6:08:25]   exposing dorks all every day. Where I just see you. He exposed Amy Schumer,[6:08:31]   Hannah Gadsby. Oh, I see. That must be what they mean, right? I don't know. We just don't remember.[6:08:38]   And then, yeah, he's saying, meanwhile, everybody who's against this kind of stuff's got a George[6:08:42]   Carlin quote where in your wildest dreams. And now you're sniffing out the dorks, the way a pig[6:08:51]   would with a, with a truffle, finding them and exposing them for the dorks they are. And when[6:08:57]   you get one of those comics to go, well, this, this joke is too far. It's like, you've made them[6:09:02]   hypocrites. It's so joyous. It's so joyous to show someone what a hypocrite they are. They all have[6:09:07]   the quotes from George Carlin on their Twitter page. Uh, your, your job as a comic is to find[6:09:11]   the line and step over it. And then they go, well, this one went too far. So let's visit that[6:09:15]   playground of guilty white liberals. But that's only an own. If that actually happened, you're[6:09:19]   like creating a situation, which would be an owner if that happened, but it didn't happen.[6:09:27]   What you're confusing this with is I bet this person probably would say they liked George[6:09:33]   Carlin, but meanwhile, here they are. And they're offended by my joke. That's what you mean now,[6:09:38]   but you're saying that they've got it in their Twitter bar, Twitter bar, the exact line of a[6:09:43]   stepping over the line. That's just made up. The land of the politically correct liberals[6:09:48]   should be taught that labels divide people. And I think we could probably do with fewer[6:09:52]   labels. You'd be pushing back against all that stuff. You'll be pointing out where the[6:09:56]   establishment is lying to you. That's the point of comedy. You know, every night,[6:10:00]   the trouble with this movement is that that's the point of comedy. Okay. Sure. Uh, you got to see[6:10:06]   some more Ari Shaffir moments. He's really good. And if I see Louis, I'll stop at him. Oh, there's[6:10:11]   little Louis. It doesn't seem like it's long enough. Oh, then they got Huell from Breaking[6:10:16]   Bad in here. Oh my God. They just showed, look at this, but they just show. I know when I was[6:10:20]   scanning through this earlier, I thought that that was the clip of Chris D'Elia finding out about[6:10:24]   snap. Oh, it's just, they just show it for like one second in a montage. I don't know why. Let's[6:10:30]   see what else Ari says here. For other people, the Russell brand show every standard comedian.[6:10:37]   It's like, who do you want to see this? Some housewife in Arkansas was never to come see your[6:10:40]   stuff. It was like, wow, that was well-spoken or somebody is going to buy a ticket. Black people.[6:10:44]   Thank you for not wearing masks. I appreciate you doing that. They think saying black people[6:10:50]   is edgy, offensive comedy that we're not allowed to say,[6:10:55]   what is so funny about just hearing someone say black people to you. And then they say,[6:11:04]   Oh no, I have no problems with black people, but you seem to just be fighting the jokes.[6:11:11]   If these are the examples of the most offensive jokes that you can't imagine, maybe[6:11:16]   you're not as censored as you think you are. Cause you can say these on any station[6:11:21]   and you're saying them on Fox, which is a very big station that you would think would be part[6:11:28]   of this whole censoring, uh, place. So yeah, I don't know. Uh, very funny Ari Shafir cringes[6:11:35]   ever. Huh? I love my Ari Shafir stuff. Remember when we caught him doing yoga during the, uh,[6:11:42]   COVID remember he gave up comedy, started teaching yoga on his YouTube channel. Never forget wobbly[6:11:50]   yoga. The worst part about it. The backdrop of his house looked like an apartment from the show[6:11:55]   girls. Yeah. That's how these people live. Did you see Dan Soder? You guys remember Dan Soder?[6:12:03]   He was like a rising comic, right? I'll put it in next step. We've got a new, uh, segment called,[6:12:11]   Ooh, he don't look good. We want to start making like segment, like fashion segments on the show[6:12:19]   where we go over a common, uh, comics outfit choice for the week. But look at Dan Soder. Oh,[6:12:24]   wait, are we going to see the thumbnail is what I need. Just click to his page and zoom in. Okay.[6:12:30]   Let's see this. Wait till you see this. This thumbnail has been haunting me. I hope I could[6:12:34]   zoom in close enough. It's been haunting me ever since I've seen it. Have you seen this thumbnail[6:12:39]   on your screen? It's of Andrew Santino and hold on. I really want to get in there close,[6:12:45]   but I don't want it to start doing that. Have you guys seen this thumbnail? Oh,[6:12:51]   God damn it. I'm trying to, um, go around all this YouTube shenanigans.[6:12:58]   There he is. Dan Soder and, uh, Andrew Santino. Have you seen this?[6:13:04]   Look how ugly they look. I mean, every time I see this, I go, Ooh, that's Dan Soder. What happened[6:13:13]   to him? That was like when everyone saw you for the first time after you came back from being[6:13:16]   sick. So is he okay? So is Dan Soder. This is segment is just about is Dan Soder doing okay.[6:13:22]   He looks depressed. That's what we've noticed about him. Who's Katie Nolan. I don't know why[6:13:30]   they're saying he's banging her 80 Nolan. Wow. So let's see what's going on. Whiskey ginger fans.[6:13:36]   Welcome back to the show. I Santino and him are getting so ugly. Let's see. Ooh. Yeah.[6:13:42]   Okay. Something's really rough about him lately. Big gray beard. His eyes just don't have the same[6:13:48]   sparkle. Huh? Ooh. Santino's looking really ugly. These guys are really looking spent.[6:13:54]   Well, now that I know that he has a nice girl, maybe he's just mature. Wait, how do you know[6:13:58]   the girl's nice? Um, I looked her up and then I saw a picture of her, but I guess I don't know[6:14:03]   this all happened just now. I mean, we never discussed that. She was nice. That maybe he[6:14:09]   got a nice wife and he doesn't feel the need to gussy up all the time. That's what we're[6:14:13]   trying to do. So once a week, we just pick out a comic. We ain't looking too well. And we ask,[6:14:19]   she's still good. Maybe he's fine. We're just, maybe he's fine. It could be great.[6:14:27]   Good. Just have a case of the oldies. Okay. Very nice. We thought you looked like shit.[6:14:33]   We thought you looked like crap. All right. What other little ones should be here? We watched[6:14:38]   infinity pool. We did watch infinity. Did you see infinity pool? Oh boy. It's from a Cronenheimer.[6:14:44]   This is kind of like, if you have a Coltrane son, you got a Cronenberg son here and we all love[6:14:50]   David Cronenberg for making such hit films, such as VHS and VHS Latino. Or, uh, whenever I think[6:15:00]   of a guy like that, I also think of, uh, remember when everybody thought this director was so good[6:15:06]   and you were like, Oh, what did you like about him? They're like, he had Sasha gray in his movie.[6:15:12]   You know, he's real. He had Sasha gray. She's a porn star and she was in a movie[6:15:18]   and this was shot on VHS. It's like, Oh, was it any good? No, he's a legend. Who's that guy that[6:15:28]   I'm thinking about David Sisselberg or something like that. All these birds, but we saw infinity[6:15:36]   pool and this was with Eric from true blood. Okay. Who's lost all confidence since true blood. I mean,[6:15:42]   Eric really hasn't looked the same. I loved when he was in, um, white little lies and he,[6:15:47]   he was known as a woman beater beaten up his wife, but you have infinity pool. And this star is one[6:15:53]   of my biggest nightmares, Pearl and no offense. I don't want to start any with Shia LaBeouf.[6:16:02]   I got Shia LaBeouf coming to my house, screaming in my inner calm every day now.[6:16:07]   So I don't want any more problems with Shia LaBeouf. He's constantly in my security cam,[6:16:14]   punching it and screaming. We're not going to open the door Shia until you calm down.[6:16:20]   And he's dating this Mia Goth and you might notice Mia Goth from Pearl and all this. And I don't know[6:16:25]   if you knew this about Mia Goth because usually in movies, she does an American accent. She's very[6:16:31]   scary. If you've ever saw Pearl, Pearl was more for a guy, at least Pearl reminds you like of a[6:16:38]   scenario where maybe you're asleep and some girl cuts off your dick. That's the vibe that this[6:16:45]   woman Mia Goth gives to people. And you're saying, you know, find her hot at all. No, I, I am a,[6:16:52]   that is a Lana Rhodes type of, uh, horror, a chill. Again, uh, if she's around me, I'm dead.[6:17:02]   I'm going to end up dead. So we thought, uh, we should see what Mia Goth was like,[6:17:09]   and we actually have something pretty cool to show you to show you what she's like. Should I[6:17:14]   just click this YouTube link? And, uh, do I skip ahead or did I just play it? You can go to like,[6:17:22]   just go to like 50 seconds, I guess. 50. Okay. Of the first link. Yeah. Okay. They're talking[6:17:28]   to some people here and you've got Mia Goth. Okay. Oh, so chilly. Isn't that chilling?[6:17:37]   Isn't she chilling? Wait till you see what she's like. Listen to this.[6:17:41]   You go, and that's why this movie is so good. Cause there's so much to unpack. So I wanted[6:17:45]   to know from your vantage point, having played James and Gabby, how are you in personally[6:17:50]   interpreting this film? I have a similar reaction. Eric Skarsgard from, uh, true blood.[6:18:00]   Remember this guy and he's kind of a fucking putts. You know, girls don't respect him.[6:18:04]   They think they're going to like him. And then he acts like a big beta on set,[6:18:08]   like giggling and geeking out. And then she's like, Hmm, I'm bored. I want someone that I could[6:18:15]   cut up. So watch these two together. This is actually pretty freaky. It's just as scary as[6:18:22]   a good movie script. Uh, it touches on so many interesting, um, aspects of, of being a human.[6:18:29]   Like I said, in terms of James, the masculinity, uh, it has that kind of. Wait till she starts[6:18:34]   speaking narrative. There's a little bit of that, but first and foremost, I would say the,[6:18:41]   the way it deals with mortality and our fear of, of, of death and to go on that journey that[6:18:47]   James goes on to be literally confronted with your own mortality and face to face with,[6:18:53]   with your own death to witness that, to see a clone who retains all your memories,[6:19:00]   who believes that he is, you get executed in such a brutal, brutal way. Uh, what does that do to[6:19:07]   James? Um, what does that, uh, evoke in, in, in him and, and where do we take it from there?[6:19:13]   Was really, really fascinating to, cause she's about to speak, you know, who she reminds me of,[6:19:19]   there's only one other girlfriend in the world. You know, this is Shia LaBeouf's girlfriend,[6:19:23]   freaky. There's only one other girlfriend in the world that's got this much power[6:19:29]   and who's this scary that you'll never defeat. And that is a girlfriend of a man named I dubs[6:19:37]   and the girl is a niece. Yep. Her and her niece would be a good duo. They'd kill a bunch of men.[6:19:46]   That would be great, honestly. Yes. A niece, very similar. Watch this. You're gonna hear her speak.[6:19:51]   Wow. What about you, Mia? What was your personal interpretation of it? Yeah. Uh, when I was reading[6:19:57]   the script, it seemed like a really interesting, uh, meditation on power. That, that to me is what,[6:20:09]   um, was really, um, um, coming through and, and especially, um, the kind of the, the corrupting[6:20:16]   nature of power and, and then even more specifically the female corrupting nature of[6:20:21]   power. I think we, you know, we see so often, um, what that looks like, uh, with male characters[6:20:27]   and, uh, but it's, uh, it's, it's quite rare to see it, um, with, uh, with, uh, this is the type[6:20:33]   of person you're going to walk in. She's like eating her little brother for some weird, she's[6:20:38]   done surgery on her brother. She didn't know. What do you do? You walk in and your oldest daughter is[6:20:46]   doing surgery on your son. What movie was that for? That freaking freaked me out, man. There was[6:20:51]   a movie where like this, these parents got home, they had left their like daughter and their son[6:20:57]   and they came home and the daughter opened up like he had the kid on a stretcher and did surgery[6:21:04]   on him and the person was like, what did you do? What did you do? And that to me is like,[6:21:11]   imagine if you walked in and your youngest daughter had caught open your son thinking[6:21:16]   they were playing a game. That's like the shit me a goth does. And he's fucking worried.[6:21:22]   Look how worried he is. He's worried. That's not Northman. Here, go to, uh,[6:21:33]   yeah, this is a three 40, three 45. Okay. Three 45. Listen to her. Um, her, uh, method here,[6:21:44]   your side of that power coin, you have this tendency to play such seductive characters,[6:21:50]   Mia. And, and I love it so much. And I wanted to know what is the key to playing a seductive[6:21:55]   character and how do you personally tap into the art of seduction? I think seduction is something[6:22:03]   that is quite instinctual. I, you know, I remember, you know, actually not wanting to[6:22:09]   really know who Alex was. I didn't really want to spend a lot of time with him. Okay.[6:22:16]   Look at this guy's face. Really know who Alex was. I didn't really want to spend a lot of time with[6:22:24]   him. Keep your eyes up. He's like, you didn't want to spend a lot of time with me. I thought[6:22:31]   I was really, you were, I thought we were in love from working together. So listen to this crazy[6:22:37]   psychos method. Remember, this is just a psycho screaming on screen. She doesn't really need a[6:22:42]   method. She really should be. I mean, she's amazing to me. She's the scariest actress ever.[6:22:47]   She's really the scariest. I can't wait to see what she does next. But listen to what she does.[6:22:52]   This makes her even more scary. Listen to this. I remember, you know, actually not wanting to[6:22:58]   really know who Alex was. I didn't really want to spend a lot of time with him. I thought it was,[6:23:04]   it was beneficial if actually we were able to have a bit of distance together so that[6:23:09]   he, you know, we didn't actually get to know each other very well. I'd heard a lot about[6:23:15]   him and how wonderful and such a sweet man he is. And if I knew that and we were to become friends,[6:23:22]   it would have taken away from something, you know, something you can't really explain.[6:23:28]   Just so I kept my distance. That's definitely something I used as a way to kind of[6:23:36]   to help with the seduction, I guess. Wow. What was it like meeting each other then for the[6:23:41]   first time after filming it then? Well, I mean, we did. We did meet. We said,[6:23:45]   hello. Hi, nice to meet you. But I just kept my distance. I don't even know if you realize that,[6:23:51]   but like they would go for dinners and things. And I didn't want to be a part of that.[6:23:55]   Did you know that Alexander? Uh, yeah.[6:24:03]   Isn't that great? Jules? Yes.[6:24:06]   Was the part you wanted to see. So he had no idea.[6:24:10]   There's this part of the Shia LaBeouf interview from ages ago. That's what I was looking for.[6:24:15]   Where he says this, just trust me, just watch this clip.[6:24:20]   And now that we all know what her voice sounds like,[6:24:23]   it makes the image all that much sweeter. Yeah. Let's hear this. This is coming through now.[6:24:31]   This is from that Shia LaBeouf interview with that guy from the walking dead.[6:24:34]   Yes. That creep. This really grinded my gears. A lot of people actually sent me this interview.[6:24:40]   This is like fucking arsonists and like child predators and all kind of wild.[6:24:43]   This guy. So he's talking at length about his time in rehab and his recovery. And right now[6:24:48]   he's in this crazy rehab place, not talking to anyone. He's fooling everyone in this video,[6:24:54]   by the way, story from his time. Yeah. And this guy, this guy, did you see this guy on[6:25:00]   Rogan promising the world? There is something, believe me, this guy is doing every bad thing[6:25:06]   you could think of. If they're wearing one of these high hats, especially when it's from like[6:25:11]   a promo or brand that their buddy owns, this is all bad. Anyone with this type of hatting[6:25:20]   is trouble. You'll never see a decent guy or a guy you need to be around in a high[6:25:27]   flat brimmed hat. They're all bad. All right. So here, watch Shia. I guess he's going to tell[6:25:33]   us a little bit about Mia here. People in this group, right? And they got people showing up[6:25:37]   for them. And I don't have nobody showing. Look at that fucking hat. Burn local. I mean,[6:25:42]   what would drive you to wear a hat like this? Unless you were completely crazy. I mean,[6:25:47]   look at that. That looks like a photoshopped hat that somebody had a hat sticker on Instagram that[6:25:53]   you'd throw on. We should show that Selena Gomez clip where they threw a mustache on it.[6:25:59]   I'll show you that next. That looks like a hat that you'd throw on someone on a[6:26:03]   TikTok live. That's ridiculous. Burn local. How about we start with you and send me out for me[6:26:13]   and week two, week three. I'm there 90 days. So I'm there for[6:26:21]   a clip. And there comes a point where family week comes around and I say to my therapist,[6:26:26]   like, ah, I'm not going to go, you know, like, I don't, I don't want to subject myself to this[6:26:29]   shit. Like I'm, I'm on a path and, you know, let me just stay here. Like, I don't want to[6:26:32]   keep reminding myself of how fucked my situation is. And, um, and she says, no, this is not an[6:26:38]   episode of sons of anarchy. This actually looks like a scene from sons of anarchy season seven[6:26:48]   and the locals were coming. I mean, really these look at this. If somebody had sons of anarchy[6:26:54]   music previous, previously on sons of anarchy, and then played this with the sons of anarchy[6:27:01]   music. Can somebody make that previously on sons of anarchy? Remember they used to have a different[6:27:07]   cast member every week. Do the previously sons of anarchy. It's filmed in front of a live studio[6:27:13]   biker gang. Vroom, vroom bikers. Hope you enjoy your show. This is sons.[6:27:23]   Okay. Here, listen, subject myself to this shit. Like I'm on a path thing. You know,[6:27:27]   let me just stay here. Like, I don't want to keep reminding myself of how fucked my situation is.[6:27:32]   And, um, and she says, nah, I think you should show up to somebody says, LOL. That was a Harry[6:27:37]   Potter spell. You heard Incendio. If you've been playing Potter and you just heard me yelling[6:27:43]   Incendio, your fucking ratings just went through the roof for yourself. Huh? Imagine what that[6:27:50]   would feel like to hear me say Incendio. I mean, that must, how many of you are playing Potter?[6:28:00]   I think the whole world's playing Potter. Cause all I watch is Hassan.[6:28:05]   I mean, they say it to the best. I just want to do a quick survey because I want to see like,[6:28:09]   do our people not even do that? Press one. If you're playing Potter, press two, if you're so[6:28:15]   far from and press two, if you're so far from even knowing what that is, Potter. Let's see.[6:28:24]   Yeah. Look at this essay here. Your homes. That's just ain't right homes.[6:28:30]   Life is one struggle after another people in LA sure go through like a Mexican struggle. Don't[6:28:36]   they? Let me guess homes. You're in AA. They're saying no Incendio. Okay. I'm playing Hogwarts[6:28:46]   right now. People are too afraid. Oh, we got three, four, okay. A lot of two, seven, eight,[6:28:58]   nine. That's a lot more twos than I thought. I thought everybody played games and I was the[6:29:03]   only non gamer. I hate games by the way. I'm anti game. So glad that there's a lot of twos here.[6:29:14]   So we're doing these Potter references for eight guys.[6:29:19]   Potter is for children. Good. I'm glad. Okay. Cause that's the scene I'm from,[6:29:23]   but the scene I hang around with now, Potter was like old teens to them.[6:29:29]   I hang around with, I hang around with a lot of young zoomers and they, Harry Potter was an old[6:29:37]   teenage show to them. Okay. Here's this scene that everyone is waiting for. And, um, she says,[6:29:45]   no, I think you should show it this week. And I show up thinking, all right, my mom's going to be[6:29:49]   on there. You know, my mom will be on and Mia is on the screen. You know, like,[6:29:57]   you know, like,[6:30:02]   yo man, maybe that's the FBI trying to radar drop, right? Shouldn't you guys be running[6:30:10]   from the helicopters, the choppers? Why do the, in both of these guys are not essays by the way,[6:30:17]   but they're being as testic. There they are. You don't deserve that kind of shit. You know what[6:30:24]   I mean? You don't deserve that kind of shit. Like, like I don't deserve that kind of shit.[6:30:30]   You know, I don't put, I don't put her through years and years of fucking nonsense, bro. Just[6:30:34]   like, look at this guy. Wait. I just thought the reason I brought this up is before when I watched[6:30:42]   this, I was like tearing up because I was like, oh, it's so sweet that Mia showed up for him[6:30:46]   after all this. But now I see him going, Mia showed up and then he starts crying. Maybe he[6:30:52]   was crying out of pure fear. I mean, these people are fucking insane. Yes. What I don't even know[6:30:58]   what he's saying. You don't deserve that kind of shit. You know what I mean? You don't deserve[6:31:04]   that kind of shit. She's got a new accent. Like I don't deserve that kind of shit. You know,[6:31:08]   I don't put, I don't put her through years and years of fucking nonsense, bro. Just like[6:31:15]   I spent 20 years in the slammer years. I will never get back.[6:31:20]   It's like, you're not that guy. You're not an older Mexican guy.[6:31:25]   I've seen a lot of hardships. Well, I grew up with them.[6:31:31]   Yes, you did. You're Shia LaBeouf. You grew up doing movies.[6:31:36]   No homes. He was a lot different than that. Most of my life was men just trying to get a green card.[6:31:44]   Oh, it was a SAG card. You mean? Okay. Look at him.[6:31:53]   I don't want nothing to offer her either. You know what I mean? I'm in the middle of my shit.[6:31:57]   You know, I'm fucking like, I'm like, I'm like two months into this program. You know,[6:32:03]   I don't even have nothing going on. I don't even have no, I have nothing, nothing going on. I'm[6:32:07]   making this list. She's at the top of the list, but I, I'm not reaching out to her or nothing[6:32:11]   like that. And, uh, you heard her voice. Like, she's like a fucking angel. You heard her voice.[6:32:21]   She's like a fucking angel. And this guy's sitting there like, yeah, yeah. Like an angel[6:32:25]   or a demon or like anything from like, you know, like a demon, like angels, I guess demons are[6:32:31]   from the same place. So her voice is like an angel. Where have you been? Put down the knife.[6:32:41]   I insist I use a knife. You can't even do it properly. It's crazy.[6:32:50]   Anyway, I want to see his face when they say it. Look at this. You heard her voice.[6:32:55]   Like she's like a fucking angel. You know what I mean? And, uh,[6:33:01]   so, you know, Shia is really in a dark place when he's here. An angel, huh?[6:33:06]   You better get your boy. You're his sponsor, right? You have a sponsor.[6:33:11]   You look like a guy. He's got a sponsor out in LA. Hey, why don't you move out of Venice beach?[6:33:15]   If you can't handle alcohol, it's not really a good place for you.[6:33:19]   All these guys, Venice beach. Oh, they've got roommates now, Eddie Ift and a bunch of[6:33:25]   skateboarders. Oh, I hate this scene. I hate that Venice beach, high hat scene where they're all[6:33:32]   trying to come up with excuses to why they have anxiety. Disgusting. Would you like to see Tony[6:33:38]   Hinchcliffe's latest performance? I mean, this was good. Should we watch a little of that?[6:33:44]   The voice of an angel. Ooh, chills to my spine. She's got to, every day I go into the fridge,[6:33:49]   I got to be greeted by Pearl. I got a big Pearl business card. I have an A24 postcard[6:33:55]   of Pearl in the fridge. I always got to see Pearl every time. I'm like, hello, Pearl,[6:33:59]   just getting a sandwich. She's a part of my home in a big way. Oh, she's obsessed with this Pearl.[6:34:05]   Weird, weird. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. This was great. And then we caught Selena Gomez doing this,[6:34:10]   you know, Selena Gomez suffers from lupus and she gets really fat. I guess she complains that she,[6:34:20]   here, I'll show you how fat she is. Wait till you see the size. Water weight. She has lupus.[6:34:25]   She has lupus. It's fine. You're still a fat fuck. So here she is, Señor Gomez.[6:34:35]   You know, starting to look like, uh, everybody's Spanish teacher. Look at this.[6:34:39]   Tend to hold a lot of water weight. So she's doing this live. She's on with her fans[6:34:47]   and she's really blown up. You know, um, she's really, she's having one of these weeks where[6:34:52]   she's like enormous, her face. I mean, all the horrible comments she must've been getting to[6:34:56]   have to say. Yeah. So she's been getting comments about how big and wide her face is getting.[6:35:03]   So she wanted to get on here live and tell people, listen, I'm not just stuffing my face. I'm on this[6:35:10]   medication for my lupus and it makes me hold all this water weight. And that's why I'm ballooning[6:35:18]   up. And it's really horrible. So she's up here spilling her guts. And then this happens, watch[6:35:23]   tend to hold a lot of water weight and that happens very normally. And then when I'm off[6:35:30]   of it and I tend to, to kind of lose weight, they throw a mustache and hats on her. I never[6:35:40]   understood this part of live streaming for the young kid. She's out here spilling her guts about[6:35:45]   her fat and they're like, okay, thank you Senor for the heart touching. And they throw, I guess[6:35:51]   the listeners are allowed to put hats and stuff on you. So watch what she does. Watch what she[6:35:59]   does. She's just going to power through this. Let's see if I can go back here. She's just going[6:36:04]   to power through this with the hat on watch loose weight. Really guys. So she blocks it really guys.[6:36:13]   Anyway. I just, I just wanted to say and encourage anyone out there who feels any sort of shame for[6:36:25]   exactly what they're going through and nobody knows the real story. So I just want people to[6:36:31]   know that you're beautiful and you're wonderful and yeah, we have days where maybe we feel like[6:36:37]   shit, but I would not rather be healthy and take care of myself. And I believe they are what helps[6:36:47]   me. So yeah, not a model, never will be. And I think they're awesome. Mind you, not a model,[6:36:56]   never will be. Here's some glasses for you. Look at it. We're throwing stuff all over. So[6:37:02]   that's it. This is getting a little too much, but I just wanted to tell you, I love you guys.[6:37:09]   Um, and thanks for supporting me and understanding. And if not,[6:37:18]   go away. Cause honestly, I got her. I don't believe in shaming people for[6:37:23]   that. There it is the mustache and sombrero again.[6:37:28]   We heard your please put on the fucking mustache. Señor. I mean, how degrading is this? Look at[6:37:35]   it. And then it ends. She had to go very nice. Isn't that great? You can see the throw fucking[6:37:45]   really breaks my heart sometimes. Yeah. Well she got to lose that weight. Nobody wants a big fat[6:37:52]   Mexican person like that. Oh brother. I guess I'll get off the line and get some spaghetti.[6:37:57]   Mike loves only murders in the building. Oh, isn't that a good show. Season two. This Martin short[6:38:03]   is, you know, I think he, you know why I like it. He reminds me of, uh, producer Michael[6:38:11]   Martin short in only murderers in the building is, uh, really very like producer Michael. And[6:38:20]   then I thought maybe back in the day, there were a lot of these producer, Michael type guys. Do[6:38:24]   you guys follow producer Michael on YouTube? Him in autumn. You should see, he just got a new[6:38:32]   Mercedes car. Lovely. Good for him. And he's going to return it very soon. Uh, should we show this,[6:38:40]   um, uh, Tony stuff now? You want to see that? Let's see it. Uh, bring it up to next up. We[6:38:46]   were watching kill Tony. We thought this was going to be a boring, boring episode,[6:38:52]   but it turns out it was amazing. This is going to be a next step here.[6:38:56]   Oh yeah. Okay. We're just waiting on that. And then, um,[6:39:02]   we'll show you what Tony did. Uh, Oh, was this a yell fest? And it was one of his longer episodes.[6:39:07]   You know, I think he decided to put, we were watching halfway through. We go,[6:39:10]   I can't believe he posted this. He posted it because at the end he had some amazing[6:39:15]   people take the stage and get the crowd back and then took all the credit for the show being[6:39:20]   amazing. And then he needed to, it's, it's really crazy how anything that happens on that show[6:39:26]   is completely all him. So if it's going bad, if a comic's going bad or things are going bad,[6:39:31]   not as planned, he's livid at everybody. You know, it's everybody else's fault. And then the second[6:39:38]   the show goes good, it's because he made it so good. You see? So when the show is going bad,[6:39:45]   he doesn't take any of the blame. But if a comic comes up and then makes it so good, he's like,[6:39:51]   what did I tell you? And then he does like a victory dance for himself. It's very off-putting.[6:39:57]   We thought, so watching Tony get frustrated. This is a great, this is a great one. We can all agree[6:40:02]   on and it's got Allie McCofsky on that. Who is, uh, even with her, uh, Allie McCofsky does not[6:40:08]   like us. You know, I made a video about Allie McCofsky years and years and years ago. I put[6:40:14]   it on YouTube. She commented, she commented on the video I made out of her and her comment was,[6:40:20]   this is hilarious. It wasn't hilarious because we caught her in a big lie.[6:40:25]   Allie McCofsky did that. This was a great one. You guys know Allie McCofsky. I'll do a zoom in on her[6:40:31]   first. You can see who she is. You've seen Joe Rogan has had her on. You hear all the comedians[6:40:38]   always talking about it, right? This bitch, this is a great story. So she was on Sarah[6:40:45]   Weinshank's podcast and she goes, yeah, my boyfriend had like the cringiest tattoo.[6:40:52]   It was of a, um, Jimi Hendrix lyric and across his chest, it said, excuse me while I kiss the sky,[6:41:01]   you know, his lyric, but it's like, Oh my God, everyone who read it was like, excuse me while[6:41:07]   I kiss this guy. So he was like plagued forever. And I go, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. This is[6:41:13]   so interesting. This lie. She wasn't even thinking through this lie. Sure. The lyric sounds like[6:41:21]   we've all heard the old story. Excuse me while I kiss this guy, but he's saying, kiss the sky.[6:41:27]   But if you're hearing it, you might think it says, kiss this guy. And that was always the joke,[6:41:32]   but not when it's written down. You don't think it says, kiss this guy. Cause it says,[6:41:38]   kiss this guy. It only sounds like kiss this guy. So she told this whole lie story[6:41:45]   about how he was so embarrassed of his tattoo. Cause everyone thought it said,[6:41:48]   kiss it, but no, no, no. It would only be embarrassing if it was a verbal tattoo.[6:41:55]   And she just reminded me, speaking of Shia LaBeouf, he will not divide us.[6:42:00]   She was also part of Shia LaBeouf's. He will not divide us. She was in that camera. Remember that[6:42:06]   strange girl that was like, he will not divide us. He will not divide us. He will not divide us.[6:42:13]   That was her. And now she's the best comic. Does Tony know about this? He loves Trump.[6:42:20]   I might ask red band about that. Here's my buddy red band, everybody. He gets killed cream to this[6:42:26]   episode. Okay. So let's start it out. And you got a great night at Tony Hinchcliffe coming up.[6:42:37]   It's a special presentation from death squad.[6:42:53]   You're going to love this episode of guilt zone. Many people skipped this one because of Ali[6:42:58]   Makhov. We'll just let them introduce it. We'll make it epic. There he is. Look at Brian. He looks[6:43:09]   great. Alex Jones. Hey, this is spread bay company live for Vulcan gas company here in Austin, Texas[6:43:18]   for a brand new episode of kill Tony. Here's Tony.[6:43:21]   Look at this. Look how he acts. You guys ready to fuck some shit up tonight or what?[6:43:34]   Ready to fuck some shit up tonight or what? That's what you thought of.[6:43:38]   Now Tony's in a bad mood right off the top here. Tony's in a bad mood.[6:43:43]   Are you guys ready to fuck some shit up? The only person who fucks everything up is him.[6:43:47]   Wait till you see this. Should I just keep playing it here and we'll hear his little[6:43:50]   thing. Listen to this. So Tony, are you ready to fuck shit up some shit up tonight or what?[6:44:00]   Make some noise for red band, everybody.[6:44:07]   What'd you do here? Red band. You have a little spilly. Oh, I didn't do that. Very,[6:44:11]   very good red band coffee. No, it's definitely not. Hell yeah. How's everybody doing?[6:44:17]   Okay. So here he is today wearing this hoodie from some BBA company of men fighting.[6:44:24]   It's underground. But then underneath again, you got to start examining what these layers are.[6:44:29]   He's got a turtleneck mesh, like scuba divers, latex type of outfit. And you go,[6:44:37]   is it a whole suit? Does he have something going on with his neck that he wants to hide?[6:44:42]   I don't know, but he's always wearing like a scuba neck thing under the hood and you go,[6:44:49]   I'd be boiling. He's wearing like something that you're supposed to wear in zero degree water[6:44:54]   under his hoodie and under his pants. It's not letting any air in or out. I mean, I don't know[6:45:02]   how he's not suffocating. I don't know why he's trying to compress himself in an all body[6:45:07]   compression sleeve. I don't know why no one talks about this. He wears a belt buckle under the hood.[6:45:14]   He'll have the hoodie tucked into a giant Texan belt buckle while wearing tech pants of another[6:45:22]   shade of sport black. It's a mess. And all the brands are these weird obscure online. Again,[6:45:32]   they're from like local MMA gym companies. It's very strange. Okay. He's in a bad mood though.[6:45:40]   Welcome to the number one live podcast in the world. Kill Tony brought to you by the Red Rose[6:45:45]   and the yellow Rose deep Eddie vodka gel blaster, the Austin security guard service. And that's a[6:45:52]   Dwayne. Look at all these sponsors. It's sponsored by the whole town had to come out to pay for this.[6:45:59]   You can go to six 50 to get past that. We got to get past all the ads. So we're going to,[6:46:04]   it's about six 50 in till you stop hearing about your sales. So you got to go to six[6:46:10]   sales. It's full price, full price. Yeah. All right. Here he is. I got to say the table looks[6:46:17]   great. Brian red band finally figured out what to do with all those chords. I'm going to go[6:46:21]   ahead and take a guess that somebody else did this for him after saying, Hey Brian,[6:46:27]   I could fix those chords for you. And last Brian has gotten good. Cause these chords are tight.[6:46:32]   I mean, he's hidden the chords. Well, except for a few cables of course, but that's nicely[6:46:37]   in the game. The great Allie McCoffs. Allie McCoffs. Allie McCoffs is on tour. Allie[6:46:53]   McCoffs dot com for tickets. She's going everywhere. Raleigh, Atlanta, San Diego,[6:46:57]   Sacramento and Dania beach. Welcome back. Allie. Thanks for having me. Hell yeah. You've been on[6:47:03]   this show for a long time. I'm a veteran of the game. And how long have you been doing standup?[6:47:11]   I think eight years now. And you started like a with kill Tony and around pretty much,[6:47:16]   I think I started like a year before kill Tony and then that really pop things off for me. And[6:47:21]   we made you a regular immediately all the way back to episode 100. Uh, yeah. Fun. The great[6:47:28]   Roseanne bar was supposed to be here with Allie tonight, just to let you guys know, this is another[6:47:33]   imagine you come out, you're thinking you're going to see Rogan. This show promises you the world on[6:47:38]   their flyer, the biggest names in comedy. You come out, you go, Allie McCoffs. And then this[6:47:44]   asshole stands up because we were supposed to have Roseanne. So he starts the show with this,[6:47:51]   and this is important to note because this Roseanne ends up destroying this show.[6:47:56]   Like she's done everything else in Dan's life. So watch this. He starts with Roseanne,[6:48:03]   listen to Roseanne bar was supposed to be here with Allie tonight, just to let you guys know,[6:48:08]   this is another night that Roseanne wasn't able to make it from the frozen Hill country that she[6:48:13]   lives in. She is the newest resident of, uh, Texas. Oh, that's red band's new soundboard.[6:48:27]   And then he starts playing a video proving that Roseanne was going to be there. And this is a[6:48:33]   video she sent to Tony apologizing for trying to get out of the show successfully doing it.[6:48:40]   So this is Roseanne lying. You know, Roseanne makes a lot of promises. And by the time the[6:48:45]   promise comes, she's too tired. She's a lazy slob. I don't blame her. And I don't blame her. I[6:48:51]   wouldn't want to go to imagine you're a 70 year old woman and you run into Tony when you're having[6:48:57]   one of your up manic highs and he goes, you should do to Cal Tony. It'll be great. Yeah. Anytime.[6:49:02]   Yeah. Anytime then he books her. Okay. Anytime Tuesday night, 11 PM.[6:49:10]   After your huge, uh, promo tour for your standup special, you're 70. We'll see you Tuesday at 11[6:49:17]   PM at a bar on the coldest night of the year. Imagine trying to get out of bed and come to[6:49:25]   do this. So what she does, she goes, I got to cancel on this, but I don't want to, you know,[6:49:30]   I don't want to be rude. So she gets dressed up in a winter hat in a winter coat and sends[6:49:36]   this cameo on this soundstage. This might as well be NASA on a soundstage. Um, however, this earth[6:49:46]   ain't flat at all. It's a very round earth. Watch this. Watch her. Excuse me. Video. Excuse.[6:49:52]   There she is.[6:50:08]   Could not drive down there. This is so manipulative. This is so Christina P.[6:50:13]   By the way, Roseanne and Christina P who's who we asked Tom coming up, uh, here she is. The[6:50:20]   roads are so icy. Of course I can't make it down. Well, why are you wearing a parka like a Russian[6:50:26]   parka hat and a big kimono to prove that it's too icy out? Shouldn't you be inside? You are inside.[6:50:36]   Did you put on your winter gear and then got out and saw the ice on the road and then quickly[6:50:41]   ran in and made the video before you got out of your winter clothes or was this video pre-made at[6:50:46]   seven before any ice was even formed? Watch this. That's Hollywood. You know, that is a Hollywood[6:51:05]   thing. She might think this is like crazy to do. I think this is what these, all these Hollywood[6:51:10]   people are scared to death of falling out of favor with somebody and they make videos like this[6:51:17]   apology videos when they can't make it. This is what Hollywood's up to. Imagine making an apology[6:51:23]   video. If I don't show up somewhere, I turn my phone off. I pretend I'm sleeping. I don't make a[6:51:30]   video. Last week, Mike needed an IT guy for something and called 10 million IT guys and made[6:51:36]   a bunch of appointments to interview all of them. Then he didn't go to a single one. No, I didn't[6:51:42]   fill up. I was exactly like, that's exactly the perfect. So like on Friday, I called a bunch of 15[6:51:50]   IT places, set up digital meetings with them online. Monday comes around. It's 3 PM time for[6:51:56]   the first digital meeting. I was not in digital meeting mode. Let's just say, maybe we're fine[6:52:03]   without an IT guy. And yeah, sorry. And now I got a bunch of people emailing me, Hey, your[6:52:10]   voicemail is full. I'm assuming something came up. This is what the, you think I'm going to work with[6:52:15]   you ever? IT guys are sharp. This is what this IT guy says to me. I assume something came up[6:52:22]   and that's why you had to disregard our meeting. It's like, you think I'm calling you again?[6:52:28]   I will just not have IT. I'm never facing you. I ditched the meeting with you. I'm never calling[6:52:34]   you ever. Do you think I could look you in the eye after dish guarding, disregarding our meeting?[6:52:43]   I don't need a meeting with you. You come over here when I'm ready, but we are looking for an[6:52:50]   IT guy. We need an IT guy to come in. And I was never planning on having that meeting to begin[6:52:55]   with. I was just hot. I was on Yelp saying yes to everything. Yeah. Digital meeting. Yeah. Come to[6:53:02]   my door, have an appointment with me. I just wanted to get this done. So I contacted 20 guys,[6:53:07]   scheduled digital meetings with it all. And then I hit the fucking road, baby. Get the hell out of[6:53:14]   there. But I did not, I would never call them to apologize. If I don't know you, I can't possibly[6:53:20]   waste someone's time that I don't know. On your to-do list, it says find IT guy. Yeah. You found[6:53:27]   them. So it's checked off. On the master list, it says that? No, I'm saying your task. Oh, I found[6:53:36]   them. Yeah. I sure found them. I wonder what they were like. Off the to-do list. You're good. Yeah.[6:53:42]   And it's very weird how that happened. So I could see how Roseanne, you know, you're making[6:53:47]   plans. You didn't even go to a Zoom meeting. That's right. I refuse to make any plans anymore[6:53:51]   because there's no way I'm going to be in the same mood by the time that plan comes around.[6:53:56]   Here she is.[6:54:10]   Just a little proof that Roseanne was almost here tonight. No big deal. Only the greatest[6:54:15]   scenes. And then just a little proof that you were going to have a celebrity guest[6:54:18]   that's not here. We have Ally instead. You don't know her. She's been doing a comedy eight years[6:54:23]   though. So he starts off the show putting you this way. You never do that. You never take away.[6:54:29]   Like imagine if I opened the show and go, this was going to be an amazing show,[6:54:32]   but we had to cut all the good parts. So you're getting whatever we got. I mean,[6:54:37]   that's not a way. You just don't tell them, you know, but he wanted the credit that he[6:54:42]   booked Roseanne. That was more important than bumming out the crowd like this here.[6:54:46]   And a comedian in the world. But she got frozen out. So we're not bummed about it at all.[6:54:54]   Ally extended her trip for this or else you guys. Yeah.[6:54:58]   And you know, I love the leader of the band, John Dees. You know, if it were me, I'd go, John Dees,[6:55:05]   can you go on? Does you have to be in the center of every shot looking like this? You know,[6:55:11]   he's bummed out, man. You know, he really wanted to look at Roseanne's back the whole,[6:55:16]   imagine this, this is like having a live candy man on your set.[6:55:20]   Imagine if behind me, just out of focus a little bit was this.[6:55:27]   I mean, come on guys. This isn't, uh, this isn't that crazy to ask that he doesn't be in the center[6:55:33]   of the stage. They should get some spotlights going already. Exactly. Like these guys should[6:55:38]   be in the dark and they should be spotted so that these guys fall off into the darkness.[6:55:47]   Exactly. It would be really great. So everyone's bummed out. Tony's bumming out the crowd.[6:55:52]   Yeah. We're going to have a blast. Trust me. It's unbelievable.[6:55:57]   We're going to have so much fucking fun. You guys ready to start tonight's show?[6:56:02]   Yeah. You're going to have to do better than that people. I know you're bummed about Roseanne,[6:56:08]   but are you guys ready to start tonight's show or what?[6:56:12]   All right. See, I like it because it's a running thing now. This is what I like about the Roseanne[6:56:18]   thing. She was supposed to be here a few weeks ago. Something happened. She was supposed to be[6:56:22]   here tonight. Something happened. So who knows? I would keep coming back if I were you, but every[6:56:27]   show sold out for infinity. Does Roseanne know that you're just sitting here telling her, Oh[6:56:32]   yeah, she does this every time. She's always flaking that Roseanne. Anyway,[6:56:39]   I think she sent you the apology video so that you wouldn't do something like that.[6:56:44]   But instead you're like, look at this pathetic video from Roseanne who keeps skipping out of[6:56:47]   everything. She's probably drinking again. Anyway, we'd love to have Roseanne back. I know her.[6:56:52]   I mean, that's just cruel way to treat your guests.[6:56:57]   You guys ready to do this or what? Oh yeah. A reminder for those of you that don't know,[6:57:02]   perhaps. So this establishes Roseanne is in here. Tony's ticked off because of that.[6:57:07]   And we're going to really see that. What's our next code here. You can go to 10 45.[6:57:12]   Hans Kim comes out. Oh, this is where it really starts. So Tony is very proud of his finding[6:57:20]   Hans Kim. He brings Hans out at the beginning of every episode. Hans gets his cheap laugh and then[6:57:26]   Tony bows for finding Hans. But this time Hans wasn't good enough for Tony. Although you'll[6:57:36]   notice this is pretty typical Hans. He's not really doing anything different than he's ever[6:57:41]   done, but maybe Tony's a little pissed about the Roseanne thing. So he starts taking it out on[6:57:47]   everybody. Watch this.[6:57:54]   What's up?[6:57:58]   I was getting ready to nut in this bitch once because she told me she was on birth control.[6:58:08]   So I got really mad at her after I nutted in her. I was like, bitch, you're not pro-life.[6:58:14]   You're just microdosing abortions. Those laughs are just as loud as any other Hans can laugh.[6:58:21]   And I mean, that joke is not any worse than any other. Exactly. It's not good to me.[6:58:26]   It's fine, but it's no worse than any other sense on Kim comprehensible joke. Okay. But Tony's[6:58:33]   only in his head thinking about this Roseanne thing. Millennials. I hate how all millennials[6:58:40]   nowadays are consultants. There's no way that's a real job. There's no way there's a CEO out there[6:58:49]   that's like, man, I'm having real problems with my supply chain. Let's get a 23 year old in here[6:58:55]   with good vibes. Make sure they're bad at math. Look at Tony. So Tony is back here furious about[6:59:06]   the Roseanne thing. And he sees Hans. Now he's watching Hans. When Tony's in a great mood and[6:59:13]   he watches Hans, then Hans is wonderful. When Tony's in a bad mood, he sees Hans for the[6:59:20]   lack of comic that he is and his world starts crumbling thinking, I can't believe I've done[6:59:25]   all this work to promote this Hans. So it's really weird. Tony is actually right, but the way[6:59:33]   he's behaving is very wrong. Watch this. Yeah, I think that's just welfare for middle-class people.[6:59:41]   But yeah, good to be here in Texas. Love Texas. It's amazing how much fun we have here.[6:59:48]   It's amazing how much fun we can have here when we're not concerned about equal rights.[6:59:54]   All right, thank you. Whoa, somebody who's been partying all week. Holy shit.[7:00:01]   Whoa, somebody who's been partying all week. Were you not happy with that set? Did you think he was acting[7:00:06]   distracted or tired? Please explain. Did you think at all that maybe the, I love to be here in Texas[7:00:14]   should be the opener instead of the closer and perhaps move nut in this bitch to the end?[7:00:21]   Did you think about the fundamental formation of your 60 second set tonight, Hans? I don't want to[7:00:27]   do that again because I already talked about Texas last week, so I was like,[7:00:32]   God forbid you talk about where you are to open your set because yeah, you did it last week.[7:00:41]   How do you feel about that, Hans? I mean, I like the words that I said. Did you say[7:00:48]   butt birth control at one point? I said butt birth control. I stuttered a little bit.[7:00:54]   So you did say butt birth control. Confuse the shit out of me. I thought someone was on butt[7:01:01]   birth control to where if you come in a butt, doesn't get pregnant, I was super confused. And[7:01:06]   I think how many of you heard butt birth control? No, you don't raise your hands. You make noise on[7:01:12]   this show. So here's where it gets good. He's going full deviant prince mode. So he goes,[7:01:20]   how many of you heard butt birth control instead of butt birth control? And then I[7:01:26]   guess people started raising their hands because they're at a live show. And then Tony does this[7:01:30]   butt birth control. No, you don't raise your hands. You make noise on this show.[7:01:35]   Oh, geez. You people really are visiting from far away lands tonight. Jesus Christ.[7:01:40]   I did, Tony. For those of you listening to the podcast, everyone just raised their hands for[7:01:45]   some reason. What do you mean for some reason? So, but birth control, you didn't mean the word[7:01:51]   scold in the poor audience. Street and Hans like shit. Should we keep playing it from here? Yeah.[7:01:58]   But to be there at all, I didn't know you found out she was on birth control. And so she was[7:02:03]   microdosing abortion. I thought it kind of worked though with the butt birth control.[7:02:07]   Cause then when you were saying that she was microdosing abortion, I was like, oh, because[7:02:11]   you're doing anal sex. So she's not getting pregnant. So it kind of worked, but then it was[7:02:17]   confused. It was amazing that your stutter led you to it. That makes way less sense than what he[7:02:22]   said. Allie is off the whole time. Wait till you see, we're going to also experience Allie bombing[7:02:28]   into oblivion. I mean, he said that if you're on birth control, you're microdosing abortion.[7:02:34]   And she's saying, if you get fucked in the ass, you're microdosing. She don't know. And they've[7:02:38]   been not knowing all night. Should I continue from here? Because there's a lot of these.[7:02:43]   Yeah. Go to 14, 25, 14, 25. And we're going to watch Tony get angrier and angrier and angrier.[7:02:52]   Here he is at 14, 25 with Hans Kim. All right, let's move on. What is that shirt? Why is that[7:02:58]   shirt on you? This is a shirt that supports women's rights. Um, I think women should have[7:03:03]   rights so that I can nut in them more. Oh my goodness. He is very one tracked mind.[7:03:09]   He wears, he wears that shirt because it Hansel's out his jokes.[7:03:19]   She's been bombing Hansel's out for just some reason. She thinks[7:03:24]   Hans cancel. So she said Hansel's out, I guess Hansel's.[7:03:32]   We don't know why. If he said it cancels out my jokes. And she went,[7:03:37]   it Hansel's. She just took a stab in the dark and said this. And the crowd went.[7:03:49]   You guys don't like wordplay. No, that wasn't wordplay. Hansel's out. I'm done.[7:03:56]   But birth control. All right. What else has been going on this week? Tell us more about[7:04:03]   1505. 1505. Or you can just keep playing. It's basically. So what's great about this.[7:04:08]   This is what all sets it off on a bad foot. Tony's in a bad mood. Roseanne canceled.[7:04:13]   Hans isn't doing as good as he promised the audience. And now Allie is bombing. You know,[7:04:19]   he's not going to take it out on Allie, but every time Allie bombs, it's adding to Tony,[7:04:24]   taking it out on somebody. And it's starting to, to really tick him off at your life.[7:04:31]   I've had sex with two girls unprotected recently. Very good.[7:04:41]   All right. Uh, let's do just the ones that, you know, what they are. Red band,[7:04:46]   perhaps that's a better method while doing a fucking live show in front of 350 people.[7:04:52]   Okay. So red band plays a sound effect off his new soundboard, which we support.[7:05:00]   And that's what his job is on the show to do sound effects. But when Tony's in a bad mood,[7:05:04]   if red band launches off a sound effect at the, at the wrong time, Tony gets furious.[7:05:08]   So look at him scold, red band sets a better method while doing a fucking live show in front[7:05:13]   of 350 people instead of doing it. Thank you. Oh my God. Here we go.[7:05:21]   Shades of the old band flickering on here. The poor red band, you know,[7:05:26]   he's trying to have a jolly time. He knows when you get up, you just want to have a fun time.[7:05:30]   It's nice shades of the old band or ban. Is it red ban or red band? Listen to this.[7:05:40]   Here we go. There we go. Shades of the old band flickering on shades of the old band[7:05:46]   that he hated, I guess with Jeremiah. Is that what he's saying?[7:05:52]   Wow. I don't know. In red band, we support. That is what he's saying because Jeremiah[7:05:57]   used to always interrupt him. Okay. You hear that Jeremiah?[7:06:03]   He thinks being interrupted is like the old band who never stopped interrupting him.[7:06:08]   I'm here. The old, just fucking unbelievable. All right. Give me something good. Unprotected[7:06:16]   sex. Did anything stand out to you? Give me something good. He thinks he's at a blackjack[7:06:22]   table. You know, if he's up and winning, everybody's buying everyone drinks. Everybody's[7:06:27]   wonderful. The second he loses everybody's his enemy. Um, so Hans Kim talks about a bunch of[7:06:32]   boring shit. You got a 20 or five, 20 or five. This is going to get, uh, pretty intense guys,[7:06:40]   grandson up. So now we got another guy up here. This bum, right? Let's see. All of the[7:06:45]   comedian sets are awful, which they usually are, but this time it extra bothers. So now[7:06:51]   we cut to this white guy with a beard wearing a college dress outfit. Phil bill. Thank you.[7:06:58]   They're written down. So good to have Phil bill. He's going to be using this term Phil bill. The[7:07:04]   comics name is Phil bill. White guy with a beard. Lincoln's gay grandson up here tonight.[7:07:11]   You don't need to respond to everything. This is, that's not how it works, but I'm glad to[7:07:16]   have the liver Kings accountant here tonight. This is very, very exciting. The first comedian[7:07:22]   of the night. Don't let his Hans said, but birth control thing. Confuse you. He called me a[7:07:28]   comedian. Okey dokey. Wow. You're just hilarious. So Tony hates when anybody snaps back. He goes,[7:07:39]   Oh, check out this comedian that we had up here. This guy stinks. This community is like,[7:07:44]   Oh, thanks for calling me a comedian. Tony. Oh yeah. Watch how vindictive Tony gets when this[7:07:51]   guy gets a little lighthearted. Snap back at him, but birth control thing. Confuse you.[7:07:58]   He called me a comedian. I love it. Okey dokey. Wow. You're just hilarious. Phil bill.[7:08:06]   Welcome to the show alley. His stuff sounded like he typed it into jet chat. Fuck.[7:08:12]   Another bomb. She was going to say chat, GPT, chat GBD. She bombed. Couldn't get it out of her[7:08:23]   mouth. This is not Tony's doing a fake move about how much pain he's in, but he's in a lot of pain.[7:08:32]   Now he's up there with no one. He's got red band and bombing Makovsky. Nobody's given him anything.[7:08:40]   The walls are closing in into jet chat. Fuck.[7:08:47]   Roseanne. Where are you? Roseanne. Roseanne, please just make the hour drive. You can still[7:08:54]   make it very rude to alley Roseanne. Roseanne. Where are you? This is so horrible. And he's[7:09:01]   going to overuse this Roseanne cope, but you know, too many times wait to see how many times[7:09:08]   he calls out to Roseanne. We get it. You know, the show could have been much worse if Roseanne[7:09:15]   was there. You know, Roseanne is not very good on stage. I don't know if you saw her special[7:09:22]   that everyone in the world is making fun of. All right. So of course love her, but we love her.[7:09:29]   Yeah. I was, uh, when you Google Roseanne's son, we were trying to find her real life son.[7:09:35]   If you Google Roseanne's son, guess who comes up? Just Deej. Michael Fishman pictures of Michael[7:09:42]   Fishman in kindergarten and shit. Who is Roseanne's son? And it's literally just pictures of DJ from[7:09:50]   like the opening credits, smiling in a yearbook photo of him in fourth grade. That is not Roseanne's[7:09:56]   son. That's the kid who played her son 20 years ago in the show. That's rude. And they're estranged[7:10:06]   by the way. She hates Michael Fishman. You know what she said? Her last words to Michael Fishman[7:10:11]   were please leave me alone. Thanks. After he, you know, completely double-crossed her. That was my[7:10:18]   Twitter header for like five years. Yes. Yes. I used to tell people I used to go to bars when I[7:10:24]   was in my twenties and one of my moves to pick up a chick would go, hi, you might recognize me. I[7:10:29]   actually was the kid from the show Roseanne. And they go, Oh my God. Yeah. I could kind of see it.[7:10:35]   And I go, you can cause he's hideous. I look nothing like him next. That's how I X'd people[7:10:43]   at bars. All right. Should we continue from here? Where should we go? Cause he starts ramping up[7:10:50]   25, 30, Tony ramping up. We're just showing you how this might've started here[7:10:56]   and we'll see how it ends. Okay. Here we go. 25. Oh my God. What is happening tonight? This is[7:11:04]   unbelievable. Juan. Welcome to the show. I've never seen a Mexican guy with an Arab accent before.[7:11:11]   This is incredible. Uh, why do you sound, do you really sound like that? No, not at all. I just[7:11:17]   think accent for sure. Right? You think it's funny? You think that was funny? I swear to you,[7:11:22]   I tried to go Hispanic and it just, I fucked it up completely. You tried to do what? Red band.[7:11:30]   Red band plays a little sound effect. The crowd seems to be having a decent time,[7:11:36]   but Tony is in his head and he hears a red band sound. You tried to do what? Red band.[7:11:43]   Don't touch the fucking soundboard until we build momentum in this show. It is a comedy show. It's[7:11:50]   not a fucking sound effects show. What the fuck is wrong with you? Okay. So this is where we go.[7:11:56]   Okay. So this isn't just him joking. He is furious and the crowd is like,[7:12:02]   Oh shit. So the crowd starts going momentum in the show. Listen to him scolding red band[7:12:13]   and poor red band again is doing the beaten housewife's laugh. This is like how an abused[7:12:18]   woman acts when her husband is like, be litteraling her at a, uh, at a dinner. He's just kidding.[7:12:28]   So let's hear that again. He starts screaming at red band here.[7:12:32]   Tried to do what? Red band.[7:12:36]   Don't touch the fucking soundboard until we build momentum in this show. It is a comedy show. It's[7:12:41]   not a fucking sound effect show. What the fuck is wrong with you? Build momentum. Okay. Get,[7:12:48]   make sure the room is laughing and then touch your fucking toy. Jesus fucking Christ.[7:12:55]   Whoa. He mad. That's not any sort of joke. And I don't care how good the show got because a[7:13:08]   retard made the ground laugh. Eventually. This was hysterics. This counts as hysterics. This[7:13:17]   is a meltdown. This is what you call. He had a meltdown. He's in hysterics.[7:13:23]   His eyes are a different color. This cannot and will not[7:13:27]   be forgiven. One more time. The speech show. It's not a fucking sound effect show. What the[7:13:33]   fuck is wrong with you? Build momentum. Okay. Get, make sure the room is laughing and then[7:13:39]   touch your fucking toy. Jesus Christ. Oh my God. So if that was written down, it would sound like[7:13:50]   one of those copy pastas. Yes. I mean, and the stuff that he's saying to him is so embarrassing[7:13:56]   to say, let it build momentum. It's like, is this a sketch? Do you discuss momentum building[7:14:04]   backstage before you guys come out? I mean, I just don't know how you can get away with something[7:14:10]   like this. So he says this and then I love, he does this fool's move and this is where most[7:14:15]   people go, Oh no, everything's fine. Cause you get tricked by stuff like this. He does this fool's[7:14:19]   move where he does this big angry yell. Right. And then realizes, what am I doing? I'm on stage.[7:14:27]   So he does this. He reverts to this. I've seen this before in Christ. Oh my God. Roseanne.[7:14:38]   See, he knew I went a little far, so I'm going to try to lighten it up. It's called the fools light[7:14:43]   up. And they think it covers up a whole massive public humiliation that they just did. They always[7:14:50]   think this will cover it up. Oh, I was kidding the whole time. No, you realized how crazy this[7:14:57]   was. And the crowd almost went through a dead hole. And then you had to pull something out[7:15:01]   of your ass to save yourself. That's all that happened. And did you see Ali in the background[7:15:06]   while he was yelling? She looked like a nervous kid. Yeah. Let's take a look at Ali while the[7:15:12]   yelling is happening. So let's just stick to Ali now. I tried to do what? Red band.[7:15:18]   Don't touch the fucking soundboard until we build momentum in this show. It is a comedy show. It's[7:15:23]   not a fucking sound effect show. What the fuck is wrong with you? Build momentum. Okay. Get,[7:15:31]   make sure the room is laughing and then touch your fucking toy. Jesus fucking Christ. Oh my God.[7:15:42]   What? That's me while Mike's yelling at the waiter. I'm having a lot of enjoyment. My simple[7:15:52]   cells are happy. My simple cells, my simple cells. He's got two modes, completely miserable and[7:16:00]   wanting to blow his head off and having the best time in anyone's life. He's got two cells, angry,[7:16:10]   happy, his simple cells. How do you even understand what's happening here?[7:16:17]   So yeah, that is like how you act when I'm screaming at the waiter.[7:16:23]   You know what I like to do the minute we go into a new restaurant? Switch tables about five or six[7:16:28]   times. Going, ugh, this table's disgusting. Do you have anything else? This one seems cheap.[7:16:38]   Anyone who would even work around this table is poor. Any other tables? And then I'll switch[7:16:44]   about three more times. Any better seats in the back? Meaning does your, like, are there any[7:16:52]   offices in the back that I could swap out for one of your office chairs? I've done that. I go,[7:16:57]   do you have any more comfortable chairs than this stool? And she goes, I'm sorry, sir. All our chairs[7:17:03]   are like that. I go, surely there's an office with an office chair.[7:17:07]   Why don't you wheel it out or we're out of here and you get one star.[7:17:12]   And I've sat at a bar in an office chair. The bar was like up to here on me[7:17:17]   and I'm sitting in an office chair. This was me.[7:17:26]   Go back in my office chair. I'm meeting German pretzel balls.[7:17:33]   Uh, you could go to 25, 30, 28, 35. Okay. Here he is. And he's furious.[7:17:42]   He's forgetting really worked up. He's having a really rough night too.[7:17:45]   Someone in the chat said Jews are nature's secret shoppers. Nature.[7:17:56]   Why is it being Jewish an insult to you, Nick?[7:17:59]   That has nothing to do with being Jewish. You literally act like that was a Jewish stereotype.[7:18:11]   Oh yeah. I hate the Jews so much. They're always making, uh, you know,[7:18:15]   something happen at a restaurant. That's like the most hilarious thing you can imagine.[7:18:21]   I like how Christians think belittling waiters is in a funny scene.[7:18:26]   Fuck that guy deserves a prize. Email me. All right. So we're back here and who's Tony[7:18:32]   talking with now? Okay. Yes. Oh, this guy drives him nuts here. This guy drives him wild. There's[7:18:37]   a guy wearing a kimono on the stage. Basically every comedian has been like so awful and Tony's[7:18:42]   just getting more and more furious. Okay. So let's see how he handles this guy. Yeah.[7:18:48]   I know Texas is frozen, but has hell frozen over as well.[7:18:52]   Well, first of all, how long have you been doing comedy?[7:18:59]   Year and a half. How long have you been doing it? Wearing that?[7:19:06]   Not very long. This is why I stopped taking what's up. Oh, was that just,[7:19:10]   Oh, do we have the same voice? It did sound like there were two.[7:19:14]   He will not divide us. Yeah. Very similar. Actually.[7:19:17]   Not very long. This is why I stopped taking jiu-jitsu. Right. This is like kung-jiu fighting.[7:19:29]   So Brian Redband finally has a great joke. He goes, this is like kung-jiu fighting, kung-jiu[7:19:36]   fighting instead of kung-fu fighting. Okay. And then he plays the Seinfeld theme. This[7:19:41]   drives Tony. Everybody loves it. What the fuck did you just say?[7:20:01]   No, don't save it with the Seinfeld theme. John Henry, tell us something interesting[7:20:07]   about your year in the interview portion of kill Tony, the first ever episode where I might have[7:20:11]   to reimburse everybody's tickets. It's a very, very exciting episode. We've done what, 600[7:20:19]   some is almost 700 some episodes. So you guys might be the first people to all get $40 each[7:20:24]   on your way out tonight. How many of you want your money back? Huh? They all cheer.[7:20:31]   How many of you want your money back in the whole place? They light up[7:20:34]   louder than they've been all night. How many of you want your money back? Huh?[7:20:39]   He didn't expect it. Wow. I didn't think you guys would actually cheer for that. I was kidding.[7:20:44]   You're assholes. Fuck you. So it's confirmed the show is bad. They would like the money back[7:20:52]   tonight because of you, John Henry. Okay. Year and a half is 30 10. Let's see. We're ramping up here.[7:21:03]   30 10. We were right there.[7:21:07]   30 10. Come on. Pretty 13. This is a tough one.[7:21:14]   There he goes. John Henry, everybody. We're flying through it tonight.[7:21:18]   This is a special episode for those of you that like cringe for those of you that like dog shit.[7:21:26]   This night is for you.[7:21:28]   I'm going to try this bucket one more time, and then we're going to go to a secret weapon[7:21:36]   that I'm positive will work, but I just have to see. I just have to see out of all these[7:21:41]   fucking names. I have to see Ali, you pick one. Maybe it's maybe it's so and keeps carrying on[7:21:48]   any more clip from 3344. This one will speak for itself. Let's find out. Yeah.[7:22:00]   All right, Matt, what's the most interesting thing about you? Well, I don't know. I don't[7:22:04]   know how to swim. You know how to swim. No, I don't know. You don't know how to swim.[7:22:10]   Okay. I was about to kick you off the stage.[7:22:19]   No, I'm having so much fun.[7:22:25]   Oh, my God. You don't. How is it possible that you don't know how to swim? You know,[7:22:29]   people say that a lot because they think I'm tall. I should just know how to swim,[7:22:32]   but I just did not learn. No, it's because you're white that you should know how to swim.[7:22:38]   You know, D madness, not knowing how to swim makes sense. I think D left, by the way. I'm[7:22:45]   pretty sure D is like, I cannot stand the sight of this show. Do you ever like practice swimming,[7:22:53]   like in the bathtub or anything? Or you're like, someday, someday I'll learn. I need to take[7:22:58]   lessons. That's what I'm going to do this year. That's a new year's resolution. What sport are[7:23:01]   you really good at? What sport am I good at? Basketball. Oh, wow. Maybe that's why you can't[7:23:09]   swim. Have we done the math on this yet? Are white guys that are good at basketball,[7:23:14]   like black guys in that they can't swim. Perhaps this is something Pfizer should test for.[7:23:22]   Okay. All right. Well, there you go. What's your love life like? You seem like a good looking[7:23:27]   undercover cop type or something like that. I am divorced. That was it. Well, he's D evolving.[7:23:36]   Okay. Any more little ones here and Tony's night about how they're bombing for like an hour.[7:23:42]   Yeah. Let's just go to the goings cause I'm about to actually throw up myself.[7:23:45]   47, 15, 47, 15. If anybody's wondering, I'm about five or six minutes from physically throwing up.[7:23:53]   Oh my God. What is the time code? 47, 15, 47, 15. There we go. Okay. You did most of it now,[7:24:02]   but do you live here now? Yeah, yeah, very cool. They're starting to get a little bit better.[7:24:08]   Things are starting to brighten up. This guy made the crowd can't stop stressing.[7:24:11]   Okay, what do you do for work? I have a part time where I like teach kids how to swim and[7:24:19]   no way you stay. That was good. If you just if that is not real,[7:24:25]   that's the funniest thing about tonight's episode so far. Was that a joke? No, no. Oh my God.[7:24:32]   Yeah. You really teach people how to swim. Yeah. Oh my God. I was like, Whoa,[7:24:48]   a real joke. No, it wasn't even a joke. You actually teach me a lot of swim. I thought[7:24:54]   that was a brilliant call back there earlier. I'll give you the credit for it anyway.[7:24:57]   You're getting a big joke book no matter what. This is your first time on the show, right? Yeah.[7:25:00]   I love it. It's good to have one of the Hogwarts bad boys on the show.[7:25:05]   We're close to momentum. Look out. This is the part of Guitar Hero where you're almost rocking,[7:25:10]   but we're not quite there yet, but we're still we're almost there. Don't fucking touch anything.[7:25:15]   Don't you fucking touch anything. Go to the old soundboard for Christ sakes. This thing is[7:25:19]   confusing you. RJ, welcome. I asked you what you do for work. I teach people how to swim.[7:25:25]   Very, very rough night. I feel terrible for Red Band. Maybe we should reach out to Red[7:25:30]   Band. Yes. Get him out of this sticky situation that he's in. He doesn't deserve to be abused[7:25:37]   like this and then abused even more viciously when he goes into his VR habitat at night.[7:25:42]   You seen how they treat him? You can do 134.20 as the final one if you want. 134.20,[7:25:47]   let's see. There's more, but. No, that's okay. I'm. Don't get sick. Yeah. Okay. 134.20. Here's[7:25:55]   our final till kill Tony time code of the night. 134.20. Yep. There you are.[7:26:02]   Making snow fire hydrant. What the fuck is going on tonight? I don't know. I thought I took a bad[7:26:15]   Molly nigga. I'm like, what? I can't explain it. One of the great questions that I asked myself[7:26:21]   before the show is, do I say Roseanne was going to be here and make it a storyline ongoing so[7:26:29]   that when the people that listen to the show are at an episode when she does come, it's even[7:26:34]   that much crazier in sacrifice, making the room super weird for tonight. Or do I not mention it[7:26:43]   at all and just have Roseanne on very soon when she's going to be on. And I made the wrong decision.[7:26:47]   I said that Roseanne, I made a bad decision. An hour away up in Hill country. It's called,[7:26:56]   I don't know exactly. So there it is the night that Roseanne ruined[7:27:03]   Tony's little outburst. That was a nice one. We'll take a quick break. We'll be right back[7:27:08]   with much more red wire.[7:27:17]   Don't touch that aisle.[7:27:47]   Shit. You know, there's some too fit to ever quit knocking tools. I like[7:27:51]   cool sticks. I do this. I'm all this. I'm doing this.[7:27:54]   Bars beat hard like a pound of pricks and go up. Don't forget to the bang, bang high.[7:27:58]   This is the kind of beat to go.[7:28:03]   This is the kind of beat to go.[7:28:04]   This is the kind of beat to go.[7:28:15]   This is the kind of beat to go.[7:28:16]   Why don't rule the girl when I act right?[7:28:19]   Me no never care.[7:28:20]   So me shit me pom pom.[7:28:21]   Be a leader.[7:28:22]   So me don't fall in.[7:28:23]   Don't miss the Elliot.[7:28:24]   That's who I are.[7:28:24]   Back it up.[7:28:25]   Back it up.[7:28:25]   Can't sit on me.[7:28:26]   Super duper fly.[7:28:29]   Party people want you put your hands up.[7:28:30]   I put your hands up.[7:28:32]   I put your hands up.[7:28:34]   I put your hands up.[7:28:36]   I put your hands up.[7:28:38]   I I I I I I.[7:28:41]   Hands up.[7:28:42]   I can be the go.[7:29:02]   I can be the go.[7:29:17]   I can be the go.[7:29:47]   I can be the go.[7:30:12]   I can be the go.[7:30:42]   I can be the go.[7:31:03]   This one sure should be interesting.[7:31:05]   Bring me back there for you.[7:31:08]   Thank you all for listening.[7:31:09]   We hope you had a joyous time.[7:31:16]   Let's see if I can do this.[7:31:24]   This is going to be very different.[7:31:29]   Is it romantic how all my allergies eulogize me?[7:31:39]   I'm not cut out for all these cynical clones.[7:31:46]   These hunters with laptops.[7:31:50]   Take me to the lakes where all the poets went to die.[7:31:54]   I don't belong.[7:31:56]   Am I beloved?[7:31:56]   Neither do you.[7:32:00]   Those wintermere peaks look like a perfect place to cry.[7:32:04]   I'm setting off, but not without my muse.[7:32:09]   What should be over, burrowed under my skin in hard stopping waves of hurt.[7:32:22]   I've come too far to watch some name dropping sleaze.[7:32:29]   Tell me what are my words worth?[7:32:33]   Take me to the lakes where all the poets went to die.[7:32:36]   I don't belong.[7:32:38]   Am I beloved?[7:32:39]   Neither do you.[7:32:43]   Those wintermere peaks look like a perfect place to cry.[7:32:47]   I'm setting off, but not without my muse.[7:32:54]   I want to roars inside prose.[7:32:59]   I want to watch wisteria grow right over my bare feet.[7:33:06]   Cause I haven't moved in years.[7:33:15]   The red rose grew up out of ice frozen ground with no one around to tweet it.[7:33:26]   I bathe in cliffside pools with my calamitous love and insurmountable grief.[7:33:37]   Take me to the lakes where all the poets went to die.[7:33:40]   I don't belong.[7:33:42]   Am I beloved?[7:33:43]   Neither do you.[7:33:47]   Those wintermere peaks look like a perfect place to cry.[7:33:51]   I'm setting off, but not without my muse.[7:33:56]   No, not without you.[7:33:58]   No, not without you.[7:34:00]   Another hit show, Jewel.