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episode: RED BAR RADIO S20 E13

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transcript

[0:00:00]   ["Pomp and Circumstance"][0:00:30]   ["Pomp and Circumstance"][0:00:34]   ["Pomp and Circumstance"][0:00:38]   ["Pomp and Circumstance"][0:00:58]   Previously on Red Bar.[0:01:00]   After a seemingly never-ending month of shipping out merch orders,[0:01:04]   the heads celebrate, documenting the receiving of their items in droves.[0:01:08]   Mike, having a rough few weeks battling his illness,[0:01:12]   managed to escape a PR nightmare, working with Sven[0:01:16]   and some of the greatest minds in business to carefully craft the perfect statement.[0:01:20]   Nothing can ever stop us now.[0:01:24]   Impostors are lining up for the chance to be Mike in our wildest contest yet.[0:01:28]   Who will take Mike's place for interviews and appearances?[0:01:32]   Find out soon. Mike and Jules are shocked, discovering Red Bar's[0:01:36]   recent numbers on YouTube. What viral moment should Red Bar post next?[0:01:40]   Season 20 has already brought us over 83 hours of lighthearted[0:01:44]   talk radio bliss, something that Mike wasn't sure would ever[0:01:48]   be able to happen after coming back from the dead just four months ago.[0:01:52]   The extremely hot desert summer is nearly over, and that[0:01:56]   not only means cool temperatures in the Red Bar studios, but cooler[0:02:00]   everything. Like Mike says, that was just the intro.[0:02:26]   Hello! Hi![0:02:30]   Hurricane day, hey Jules?[0:02:34]   Hey. We also have Jules in the house. What's up, what's up?[0:02:38]   Jules in the house. This is going to be a very difficult[0:02:42]   podcast to do. You like my little promo at the beginning there? They liked it.[0:02:46]   Good. We edited that.[0:02:50]   Pretty cool.[0:02:54]   We edited that. Pretty good, huh? New headphones today.[0:02:58]   They won't fall out. They work, but now I gotta get,[0:03:02]   it's like a whole different sound again. You sound exactly the same. I sound the same, though?[0:03:06]   Do I look the same? It's hurricane day, I hear.[0:03:10]   Is this really happening? There's a hurricane? Yes, the streets are filled with[0:03:14]   water. There's a shark in the streets. Ooh, and this[0:03:18]   is happening in Mursh's neighborhood. Is this true? That guy Mursh? Does he live in Tampa?[0:03:22]   He lives in Tampa.[0:03:26]   Float him away, float him away. Big show today.[0:03:30]   Very big show. I'm glad they liked it. I was looking at the show up there. They love[0:03:34]   the little promo. That's so cute. That was you doing the voiceover, right?[0:03:38]   Yeah. Great. We've got an exciting show[0:03:42]   today. Imposter contest starts today. We're going to make this for[0:03:46]   real. I want to make this imposter thing real. We already have an interview request.[0:03:50]   Yes. So there's like a job waiting for the imposter. There was a show.[0:03:54]   They just, this is perfect. Don't say the show, though, because. I'm not going to say, of course,[0:03:58]   of course. No, we got to keep this secret. So we're looking for an imposter to be[0:04:02]   me so I can send him off to do interviews and stuff. Stuff I don't want to do.[0:04:06]   We got some great submissions today. Very nice[0:04:10]   submissions. And I got an email like four days ago from[0:04:14]   could be a guy, could be a girl who wants[0:04:18]   me, Mike, on their show. Can you believe[0:04:22]   it? So maybe we could test out one of our[0:04:26]   imposters. Maybe we could even pick one today to send out on a little test.[0:04:30]   Run the contest for a full month. Find the perfect[0:04:34]   imposter and go from there. Imposters coming up today. Very[0:04:38]   exciting. Very exciting. I haven't even seen them yet, so I'm super excited.[0:04:42]   I've only seen a little bit of each clip. I[0:04:46]   wanted to save it for the for the big rise on the show. We've got[0:04:50]   a very interesting taste test today. Like[0:04:54]   promised. Bodega cat whiskey.[0:04:58]   Rye whiskey from Mark Norman and Sam Murrell.[0:05:02]   This was sixty dollars. I include shipping. I'm sorry.[0:05:06]   You got to include shipping in that. Twenty dollars shipping. Forty dollars for[0:05:10]   the bottle. Something like that. Fifty dollars for the bottle. Ten dollars[0:05:14]   shipping. It's here today. Bodega cat. It's actually nicer than I thought[0:05:18]   it was going to be. Jewels. The label. Everything okay?[0:05:22]   The audio is working and everything? Yeah. It's amazing. Very nice label. Very[0:05:26]   90 proof. Forty five percent alcohol. Very[0:05:30]   excited. We'll try this in a second. But first. I've heard it's not very good.[0:05:34]   And then we've got some cool mix. You've heard it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And Jewels run. So[0:05:38]   we've got some great mixers. We've got an exciting new lighter. Let's see today's lighter.[0:05:42]   There you go. Cut to that close up Jewels. There it is.[0:05:46]   Look at that. It is Top O Texas[0:05:50]   round up. Very nice. Isn't that cute? Let's see how it works. I'll show you[0:05:54]   how it works. Look at that. A little[0:05:58]   kid's flame. It's a kid's flame. Is this hurricane[0:06:02]   something to worry about? People are talking. This is the first I've heard of it.[0:06:06]   It's something you're merged to worry about. So it's not a big deal.[0:06:10]   Okay. It sounded like people are bunkering down. It sounded like people are[0:06:14]   all in their house tonight. All of the water got sucked out of Tampa Bay[0:06:18]   and now it's a barren wasteland. Okay. I heard. Well we're going to stay up[0:06:22]   all night. It's sort of like a little red bar sleeper. Call[0:06:26]   in sick. Don't go to school tomorrow. Okay. Let's do this[0:06:30]   first drink. Do we got a nice drinking song for me? Ooh. I will play one.[0:06:34]   Let's get loose. Have one with me.[0:06:38]   Pace yourselves here today. Don't have too much. Okay.[0:06:42]   Water yours down if you're not very good at it. Basil[0:06:46]   Heywood.[0:06:50]   Welcome to Red Bar everybody. Let's have that first drink. Cheers.[0:06:54]   Ooh. Socks been in my head all week.[0:07:02]   I had this like vision that Kanye West was singing this song.[0:07:06]   I don't know why. And then it was in my head all week.[0:07:14]   Have one with me.[0:07:18]   Welcome to Red Bar.[0:07:30]   I haven't had a drink since the last show. Been pretty under the weather[0:07:34]   these last two weeks. But feeling okay.[0:07:38]   Hopefully my energy levels are good. A little bit of a[0:07:42]   a little bit of an Ethan Klein down here today. But I think this is going to wash it away.[0:07:46]   Have one more.[0:07:54]   He's a man. Oh I can't wait to watch that.[0:07:58]   One more nice drink.[0:08:06]   Still adjusting.[0:08:10]   Okay.[0:08:14]   We'll do Bodega Cat on our next drink. Okay. We've got a surprise[0:08:18]   mixer. Hopefully nobody can see that right? Surprise mixer for[0:08:22]   the Bodega. Let's do a rise and check out[0:08:26]   Brian Callan's new podcast. This one was great.[0:08:30]   Wait till you see this. Brian Callan he's got a new podcast. Is it doing well?[0:08:34]   Jules what are the views like on this thing? Let's see.[0:08:38]   He launched this here. Let me pull this up.[0:08:42]   Brian Callan. He's got a great intro song. Remember we discovered[0:08:46]   that he's doing Zoolander. Remember that?[0:08:50]   He's a man made. What is it? I'm a merman.[0:08:54]   That's kind of his whole thing now. I don't know if he[0:08:58]   knows that that's what he's been doing. Well let's see. Can I bring it?[0:09:02]   Is it up next or something like that? Yes sir.[0:09:06]   Okay. The Brian[0:09:10]   Callan Show. Okay. Here's episode one and let's do[0:09:14]   our little rise first and then we'll bring Brian into the spotlight. Beautiful[0:09:18]   new set. Is he doing it at the Triple E Studios? Check that out.[0:09:22]   Whoa.[0:09:26]   I'll kill it. I'll kill it. We're going to do a Loki rise.[0:09:30]   Let's do that now and then we'll get into Brian Callan produced by[0:09:34]   Dana. Is it Dana Marshall? I think so.[0:09:38]   Dana Marshall. Sam Triple E's beautiful wife.[0:09:42]   Alright let's do a little rise okay? Get a rise out of me. Here we[0:09:46]   go.[0:09:50]   I got a little haircut. Can you tell?[0:09:54]   People really like this rise. The imitators.[0:09:58]   The imposters. They keep[0:10:02]   doing rises you'll see.[0:10:06]   Rise. Hit it.[0:10:10]   Beautiful rise today. Beautiful. Beautiful. Look at the[0:10:14]   screen. Beautiful screen. Alright so yeah it's the Brian Callan[0:10:18]   Show. You're going to get a kick out of this one. Yeah I guess we'll[0:10:22]   just start from the beginning. You can see his beautiful intro. People I guess[0:10:26]   have been asking him to come back. Brian you need to do a solo podcast. We love[0:10:30]   the show. His comments seem to love it.[0:10:34]   We found it to be the complete opposite[0:10:38]   of that. I think it's probably the worst podcast I've ever[0:10:42]   seen. Coffeezilla even reached out to[0:10:46]   me. You know Coffeezilla? Steve. Is that okay to tell people his name?[0:10:50]   Oh my god Doc Smudge. What the fuck up? Coffeezilla[0:10:54]   even messaged me and goes Mike that's Brian Callan podcast. He goes it might be the worst[0:10:58]   podcast I've ever seen. I had to stop. I couldn't[0:11:02]   believe what I was watching. I had to stop. All the stuff you say about a bad[0:11:06]   podcast you said about this. So if it's hitting Coffeezilla's[0:11:10]   radar it's got to be really bad. Let's see what we got here. What are the stats?[0:11:14]   Does it say the views here? I can't see this. It looks like it's got[0:11:18]   58K. 58K pretty good. Okay[0:11:22]   let's see what he's got here. But. Gunmetal Mango[0:11:26]   is that the name of the show? I think that's the name of the episode. Episode one the Brian[0:11:30]   Callan show Gunmetal Mango. Let's[0:11:34]   begin. You're going to like this one. Here's his funny little intro song.[0:11:38]   Brian Callan. Yes this is his intro song.[0:11:42]   Brian Callan. Yes. Hell of an intro song.[0:11:46]   His comedy is marvelous. He's a[0:11:50]   genius in world politics.[0:11:54]   He's a genius in world politics. Is that? Did he used to be like a politics[0:11:58]   guy? Like five days straight my brain has been going he's a genius[0:12:02]   in world politics. But look at this.[0:12:06]   He's a patriot. A semi-warrior. He's a warrior.[0:12:10]   And a patriot. I don't know why he thinks he's in a[0:12:14]   I was watching episode two. Spoiler alert. He was talking for like 20 minutes[0:12:18]   about how he's going to get a long range rifle to wipe out[0:12:22]   12 guys invading his town. He really has these fantasies[0:12:26]   about protecting his home. Being a man. Being a[0:12:30]   warrior. Hiding out in a log cabin[0:12:34]   and having this little long range rifle with a silencer[0:12:38]   on it so that he could take out the army coming[0:12:42]   and I said seriously this is what he's thinking about. Did he commission[0:12:46]   the guy to say that he's a genius in world politics?[0:12:50]   Do you think he wrote that lyric for[0:12:54]   the guy? Is that what you're asking? Yes of course he wrote that. He loves stuff[0:12:58]   like that. Alright let's hear that intro again and then we'll. Brian Callan.[0:13:02]   Yes this is his intro song. I hate when they do stuff like that.[0:13:06]   Intro song. His comedy is marvelous.[0:13:10]   He's a genius in world politics. We'll let him open the show for us.[0:13:18]   Here he is.[0:13:22]   Ladies and gentlemen welcome. Welcome to my solo[0:13:26]   show. Oh I will have guests but for now it's just me.[0:13:30]   Brian Callan. I'm wearing. Sounds good. Looks good.[0:13:34]   So he's in the corner. He's got this. Is this the same studio[0:13:38]   that him and Sam do that show in? I think so. Because this wall stuff[0:13:42]   looks pretty familiar. Why do they always do the corner? Why do they[0:13:46]   always want to sit in the V of the[0:13:50]   room? Do you think they're sharing these rooms and each corner's got[0:13:54]   a little podcast set? When him and Sam aren't doing[0:13:58]   the podcast they put a fake brick wall between their background. That's why it's[0:14:02]   half cut off. Is that really? Are you serious? No. I don't know.[0:14:06]   I can't imagine the old Sam set but I remember there was this white. It had a white[0:14:10]   wall with black on it. And they always do this from Joey Diaz[0:14:14]   to Ethan Klein. No matter where you go they've got a seam[0:14:18]   right in the brick. Can't you. Why didn't you[0:14:22]   start here and start the brick work out and have your seam down the[0:14:26]   wall? It's always in the shot. Seam there. There's a seam there.[0:14:30]   So there he is. He looks great. He looks like he's at one of those new taco places.[0:14:34]   So here he is very washed out. Episode two[0:14:38]   though. Maybe we'll show that a little later. Episode two is very[0:14:42]   blue. He got some blue lighting and the whole thing glows blue.[0:14:46]   Let's let him speak for himself. Got a nice candle here. Some sage.[0:14:50]   He's going to talk about this. Oh you know why he named the show Mango? Whatever.[0:14:54]   He's about to explain. Got metal mango. Probably because of this shirt[0:14:58]   right? You know he's very. Is he going to talk about that right now? Yes. Like[0:15:02]   right in seconds. Welcome. Welcome to my[0:15:06]   solo show. Oh I will have guests. But for now[0:15:10]   it's just me. Brian Kellen. I'm wearing. I'm wearing[0:15:14]   essentially. Please enjoy this off pink shirt[0:15:18]   I'm wearing. And when I say off pink. See he's still[0:15:22]   one of these guys. Oh I'm wearing pink. I got to tell everybody. Look I got some[0:15:26]   pink on here. I don't have to tell anybody about it. There's a lot[0:15:30]   of guys like this who think oh I'm wearing pink I better address this[0:15:34]   pink stuff before anybody else. They're going to think I'm not manly. Am I wearing[0:15:38]   pink? So I guess that's why he named[0:15:42]   Gun Metal Mango. No there's more. Oh there's more. There's more.[0:15:46]   Okay. Brian tell us. I mean it feels like it feels almost like coral[0:15:50]   or shrimp. Coral shrimp. Tope.[0:15:54]   I don't know colors but here's what you need to know.[0:15:58]   Stupid. I was in an Airbnb. I had to do some laundry. They had[0:16:02]   a mango scented detergent. Used it[0:16:06]   and now I smell like mango. Mango. So[0:16:10]   that's distracting to me. I don't like[0:16:14]   smelling like fruit when I walk around. That's an[0:16:18]   interesting concept. I'd rather smell like leather.[0:16:22]   I'd rather smell like man stuff. Gun metal. Gun metal.[0:16:26]   I'd like to smell like a combination of leather. Gun metal. Maybe some[0:16:30]   pipe tobacco. Okay. Why?[0:16:34]   Jesus. I don't think that's socialized. He's so[0:16:38]   concerned with being a man. There must be something in his little private life[0:16:42]   you know where he's got some insecurity. This is like his[0:16:46]   biggest thing. I don't know why his fans don't harp on him more[0:16:50]   for that. You know this insecurity. I mean is he so old that[0:16:54]   he still thinks like smelling like leather and whiskey[0:16:58]   is so. Leather. Whiskey. Like does he think pipe tobacco. Like[0:17:02]   is he still in the phase where that's like the coolest of the cool? I don't[0:17:06]   know where he gets this. You know he reminds me of like the Oppenheims from[0:17:10]   Selling Sunset where everything's leather bound. Man[0:17:14]   clocks. You know. Yeah[0:17:18]   he's got a real hang up about being a man. Here's some more.[0:17:22]   I think it's just my instinct[0:17:26]   when I walk into a bar full of strange men[0:17:30]   when I engage with a group of men from[0:17:34]   another tribe. I don't want to[0:17:38]   smell like fruit. I don't[0:17:42]   especially want to smell like tropical fruit.[0:17:46]   Technically a tomato is a fruit so if I smell[0:17:50]   and it kind of goes on like that for about eight minutes until it starts getting real[0:17:54]   brutal. Should we go to our first time code here today? Sure. Very[0:17:58]   exciting. Eight minutes in right? Okay.[0:18:02]   And we've got complaining about how TikTokers[0:18:06]   have it easy. Right? So it's just some old man[0:18:10]   Callan stuff. Let's see. I don't remember this one. I think that was mine.[0:18:14]   I actually think that everything Chris Lee has ever said might have originated from my rib[0:18:18]   because he comes from my rib. So[0:18:22]   but that's a whole different story. By the way guys[0:18:26]   a couple messages from our sponsors. Number one. One of our sponsors[0:18:30]   is Man Tears which is my special on YouTube. If you don't[0:18:34]   watch it then you are remiss because[0:18:38]   I think his mic is like on the table. You see that? There's mics on the table[0:18:42]   and you can hear his fingers scratch across the man wood.[0:18:46]   Okay so he's going to talk about TikTok right now. This is a[0:18:50]   great one though. I highly suggest everybody watch this one from front to back.[0:18:54]   I mean I was gasping. I didn't think it would be that big of a deal.[0:18:58]   We had this on in the background and I was kind of doing some other stuff. Didn't think it would be[0:19:02]   I thought it was going to be one of those boring blah blah blah. But I kept looking[0:19:06]   up every ten seconds gasping. Really? You're not[0:19:10]   going to believe how cringe this gets. Here we go.[0:19:14]   Laying down some crazy shit. And now here's the thing[0:19:18]   about being a stand up comic. I put out fifty minutes.[0:19:22]   I recorded eighty minutes. I'm going to be breaking it up into pieces because you[0:19:26]   have to in this fucking TikTok world. No no no. I'm trying to keep up in a TikTok[0:19:30]   world. And as much as I criticize TikTok I go down that[0:19:34]   rabbit hole. I get lost. So now. Why do you get lost?[0:19:38]   I can't imagine having four families. Two[0:19:42]   kids each family. And getting lost on any sort of rabbit hole[0:19:46]   other than the one that my son's school sent out in the newsletter. You know?[0:19:50]   Why are they? I really[0:19:54]   I can't get over this. Tell me if you father a child out there[0:19:58]   how do you do that? I never saw my dad you know[0:20:02]   growing up doing his own activities for hours on end[0:20:06]   like that. Like these guys do. Leaving their kids. You never really hear them talk[0:20:10]   about their kids enough. How many kids does this[0:20:14]   guy have? Six kids? More than one. More than one.[0:20:18]   You never hear these little stories. You never hear Joe Rogan tell a million[0:20:22]   little stories about his kids. Joe Rogan's an interesting[0:20:26]   one because he's on for three hours at a time. Four times[0:20:30]   a week. Three times a week. For years. And you[0:20:34]   would think here's a little tidbit here. Here's a little story. You never[0:20:38]   hear anything about these people's kids or families.[0:20:42]   Clipping it up for me and putting it on TikTok and[0:20:46]   everywhere else so I can compete in the noise. So I[0:20:50]   can create some signal in the fucking noise. So I can[0:20:54]   create some signal in this cult of amateur where everybody thinks they've got[0:20:58]   something to say. And the problem is it's so easy to be[0:21:02]   you shouldn't be worried about any of this. Flip it on. The people coming out.[0:21:06]   They should all know you've been on Rogan 20 times.[0:21:10]   You shouldn't have to do promos. He went on like 700[0:21:14]   podcasts this last couple weeks. To promote his special.[0:21:18]   Literally every person who knows anything about[0:21:22]   comedy probably knows the name Brian Callan. So the fact that he's got to[0:21:26]   go out and promote and beg people to come see his show.[0:21:30]   He's got that patron that's got 31 members. I don't know how many that's up to now.[0:21:34]   But jeez after all these years you've got to do all this work?[0:21:38]   I can't imagine. Eye catching in 15 seconds. Try[0:21:42]   it for 50 minutes or an hour. That's a dying art form.[0:21:46]   Nobody gives a fuck. When was the last time you read a whole book?[0:21:50]   Which by the way. You should be doing that all the time. You're always talking about your book[0:21:54]   club. He ain't reading is he? See him and Joe[0:21:58]   always catch themselves. They're always like yeah I read a book. Well it was an audiobook[0:22:02]   and I listened to half of it. I thought you're Mr.[0:22:06]   Book Club. Doesn't he have a patron with a book club? When's the last time you've[0:22:10]   ever read a book? He ain't reading. He ain't reading.[0:22:14]   Nobody gives a fuck. When was the last time you read a whole book?[0:22:18]   Oh okay. Which by the way. Here's the other thing about this[0:22:22]   amazing podcast. I'm going to be doing book reviews[0:22:26]   with Ben Askren. It's called Books with Ben. Yeah.[0:22:30]   Ben Askren is a hell of a reader. Cool.[0:22:34]   We were talking. Wait Ben Askren the Jake Paul fighter? Yes.[0:22:38]   That was the guy who fought Jake Paul right? Yes that fat guy. How many of you do book reviews[0:22:42]   with Ben Askren? That's insane. Book reviews[0:22:46]   on a podcast? And then you see people yes Brian tell us about your books.[0:22:50]   But also hasn't he been going on about this book review idea for[0:22:54]   like three years? It's been I think[0:22:58]   in his mind. I think this is what the comedian thinks. They're always looking[0:23:02]   for other avenues of money and how could we do something that's easy that[0:23:06]   I would enjoy that could give me something to talk about every[0:23:10]   week where I could get some extra cash coming in. And yeah[0:23:14]   I think in his mind. Oh man if I just review some books. Has he[0:23:18]   ever actually reviewed any of these books? And is he realizing that[0:23:22]   even if he manages to do this once then he has to start reading full[0:23:26]   books. Could you imagine? Press one in the chat if you want us reviewing[0:23:30]   books on the show. And he had this great breakdown of Yuval Harari's[0:23:34]   Sapiens and I was like this motherfucker reads. Now I was at his house and I was looking at his[0:23:38]   bookshelf. This motherfucker reads. And he's done a wide[0:23:42]   reader. He reads widely. No no no he buys[0:23:46]   widely. Listen nobody reads they buy. There's not many books we got[0:23:50]   in our house. We had half of Barnes and Noble in the house. Nobody's[0:23:54]   reading those. They're for looks.[0:23:58]   So yeah Ben asking I'm sure he's got a million books. We buy a book every time we need something[0:24:02]   on Amazon she adds a few books. $27.99[0:24:06]   $39.92. It's nice to have books around.[0:24:10]   I did a joke on her the other day where I came and I took one of her books.[0:24:14]   You know her dream is to see me read one of her books.[0:24:18]   It's never gonna happen but I did a prank to her[0:24:22]   where I came in and I sat on the couch. She was at her computer or something. I came in[0:24:26]   I sat on the couch. I just started reading one of her books. You know waiting for her[0:24:30]   to notice. She noticed right away you were very excited. I thought maybe you were[0:24:34]   reading. Fake reading to excite you.[0:24:38]   I got no interest. I tried reading the book. Believe me this is me reading a book.[0:24:42]   And I'll read that[0:24:46]   first page maybe 60 times. And then I have to go[0:24:50]   I have no idea what that said.[0:24:54]   Connie said this week that he's never read a book and that books are wrong. Really?[0:24:58]   Did he really say that? Yes he said books are brussel sprouts. Very good[0:25:02]   I believe that too. Yeah down with books. Let's ban books from schools.[0:25:06]   What we're gonna do is me and Ben Askin one of the most decorated[0:25:10]   wrestlers and MMA fighters of all time are gonna be on this show[0:25:14]   breaking a book down. It's gonna be like 15 minutes[0:25:18]   I don't know how long it'll be. Maybe we'll interview the author sometimes. But the point is[0:25:22]   we're gonna break a book down so you don't have to read it. We're gonna give you the most important[0:25:26]   aspects. We're gonna basically give you a book review. I don't think that's the purpose of books.[0:25:30]   People want to read these things right? We're gonna tell you all about a movie so you don't have to watch it.[0:25:34]   What's the point? You know? I'm pretty sure if you wanted to know what[0:25:38]   they said in a book like Sapiens a non-fiction book you could just[0:25:42]   watch a YouTube video that already exists. You know I was thinking about writing a book.[0:25:46]   I started working on it. I might have a book come out of tell-all. You know where[0:25:50]   I tell all the little stories that everyone's dying to hear? The real stories?[0:25:54]   What do you think, Jules? Should I start working on a book, huh? Yes.[0:25:58]   An addiction book. I'm working on a book about you. Are you really? Oh you're doing a book about me?[0:26:02]   It's released the day you die. Oh that's pretty cool. Alright let's hear some more.[0:26:06]   So when you listen to it you're gonna be able to say yeah I read that[0:26:10]   book because we read it for you. You're welcome. Finally[0:26:14]   another message from our sponsor. He's got the same[0:26:18]   chair as Joe Rogan. See they don't know what to buy. This is the only reason you're seeing this microphone[0:26:22]   and I wonder if the Shure Corporation.[0:26:26]   Where was that Shure place? In the suburbs we had the Shure building and I remember growing up[0:26:30]   in Chicago and you would drive past the Shure[0:26:34]   building all the time and everybody told us oh Shure microphones[0:26:38]   this is where their headquarters are. I mean really[0:26:42]   just because of Joe Rogan people copy. Look he's got that chair back there.[0:26:46]   That little Joe Rogan chair with the three. They really don't know what else[0:26:50]   to buy. I think Logan Paul bought those as well.[0:26:54]   Oh the toe holds. Here we go.[0:26:58]   You know he's not even an owner of this company. This is what we just found out.[0:27:02]   So I was shocked when Brian Callan was on Rogan just two weeks[0:27:06]   ago. Was that with the fight companion thing with[0:27:10]   Brendan and stuff? Yes. Brian Callan. And he was talking about toe[0:27:14]   holds. Toe holds. It's a sandal company. Here's[0:27:18]   a sandal right here. Very very Etsy.[0:27:22]   Not a real company. I mean does that[0:27:26]   look like a real sandal to you Jules? That's an[0:27:30]   Etsy sandal. I wouldn't wear it but I'm not a man. So these are[0:27:34]   300 to 500 dollars. He claims that he[0:27:38]   sold 20,000 pairs of these when they first came[0:27:42]   out on his website. That's what he's saying. Now is he saying that he sold 20,000 pairs[0:27:46]   here because I feel like he says something different. Yes. So this is very interesting. We'll pay attention.[0:27:50]   Brian Callan was talking about how he had I think it was on Rogan[0:27:54]   he said 20,000 orders. No that's on the Joey Diaz one which we can watch[0:27:58]   after this because that one's really good too. 20,000 orders. But then in this he slips up[0:28:02]   and says the website got 20,000 hits.[0:28:08]   You know these boomer guys like him they think hits means something right?[0:28:12]   You know like I look at my website statistics it says hits[0:28:16]   17 million. I don't know what hits means. Hits might mean like[0:28:20]   every button that's ever pushed on your website over the course of a year.[0:28:24]   He's saying the toe holds have 20,000 hits on the website.[0:28:28]   They're $500. They're handmade and he owns[0:28:32]   30% of the company. Not really your company[0:28:36]   when you own 30% of it right? I know. He's not necessarily. I don't think[0:28:40]   anyone's buying these. I think he sold a couple of pairs. They're $500. You know why they're $500?[0:28:44]   The guy hand makes them. You know like he's making an art and craft.[0:28:48]   So there's no production. There's no factory. That's why he's got to charge[0:28:52]   $500 because it probably takes him three weeks to make one of these[0:28:56]   sandals. And he pulled them and said they're the best made flip flops.[0:29:00]   They're not the best. They are on the planet. No.[0:29:04]   Well the website got hit with 20,000 hits. Here.[0:29:08]   And our order has almost crippled us. No.[0:29:12]   Get them while you can. Wicked and Craig leather. The shoes are crippling people.[0:29:16]   Every exotic skin we use including elephant[0:29:20]   all that money. First of all the skins come from animals that have been[0:29:24]   died of natural causes. They're too old. Whatever it is. Gross. And[0:29:28]   all that money and I mean all of it goes back to[0:29:32]   the warden. To you? To the game reserve. To the elephants. Wait. All[0:29:36]   the money goes back. See that's what I mean. He doesn't even know what he's talking about with this company.[0:29:40]   Does Whitney know that these toe holes are made of elephants by the way? And all the money[0:29:44]   goes back to the elephants please. They'd like her to check up on[0:29:48]   them. All the money. See they don't even. They just want to say anything to[0:29:52]   get something moving here. All the money goes back to the wildlife.[0:29:56]   They're too old. Whatever it is. And all that money and I mean[0:30:00]   all of it goes back to the warden.[0:30:04]   To the game reserve. To the elephants themselves. So when you're walking around.[0:30:08]   All the money. And I mean all of it goes to the warden.[0:30:12]   The game. Which is the animals. We don't[0:30:16]   like the warden. Isn't that the poacher? What is the point of this business? You guys are[0:30:20]   doing a lot of work for nothing here. You know they could go to the store. They could buy[0:30:24]   flip flops. He probably has some bum sneaking into the circus and[0:30:28]   cutting a tiny slice off the back of the elephant's leg where it's too thick to notice.[0:30:32]   He just shaves it off. I saw a really cute Instagram of some elephants[0:30:36]   sleeping in the jungle the other day. You know they just lay right on the ground.[0:30:40]   It's cute. I am in a pair of[0:30:44]   toe hole flip flops that are made from elephant skin.[0:30:48]   Just the straps here. I'm doing more for elephants.[0:30:52]   Just the straps. Okay. No he said just the scraps? How's that sound? Oh I don't know.[0:30:56]   Okay.[0:31:00]   He's starting. Here it comes.[0:31:04]   I'll just have some kale please because it's a complete food.[0:31:08]   Yeah I know. I can't keep my head up. This is the posture of a jumbo[0:31:12]   shrimp. I'm aware of that. My chest goes all the way in.[0:31:16]   And I'll do nothing to you if you do anything to me physically.[0:31:20]   But if you mention anything bad about vegans[0:31:24]   I will crush you online. Now give me my fucking kale salad.[0:31:28]   There's a lot of this stuff in the clip.[0:31:32]   A lot of this weirdo nonsense. It gets[0:31:36]   much worse. He's permanently stuck in 2013 kale salad.[0:31:40]   Kale. Leather bound books.[0:31:44]   Okay. Let's hear a little bit more.[0:31:48]   With non-dairy dressing. Thank you.[0:31:52]   Fuck.[0:31:56]   Let's see. What's in the news?[0:32:00]   Well I touched on the Jimmy Kimmel[0:32:04]   stuff. Okay. Should we skip ahead here? Go to 2010.[0:32:08]   This is a good one. Okay yeah we did the hits.[0:32:12]   Okay this is bad. 25, 10 is that what you said? No just 20, 10.[0:32:16]   20, 10. Alright here's where it starts getting real bad. Yeah so that's[0:32:20]   only, we were only 12 minutes into the podcast. He's kind of running out of things to say[0:32:24]   already. So let's go to 2010. The rest of the[0:32:28]   parts that we're not watching are just him going over the most basic Twitter headlines[0:32:32]   you can imagine. So here he is and this is where it starts getting really[0:32:36]   this is where my head started peeking up out of my. Oh and he's talking about the new[0:32:40]   Lord of the Rings show and the diversity of course. Great let's hear about this.[0:32:44]   Is the actual quote. Thank you so much Shakespeare. Dude you[0:32:48]   learn. You learn here. Alright.[0:32:52]   I just get a kick out of it man. It's such a weird thing and I don't even believe[0:32:56]   that this like Amazon had to turn off[0:33:00]   their comment section and their you know because they'll bombard you with bad reviews.[0:33:04]   I don't actually even believe it's right wing or left wing Americans.[0:33:08]   I think this shit is going on with these fucking troll farms. I think like[0:33:12]   I think basically it's troll farms. I think it's[0:33:16]   foreign actors trying to sow dissent.[0:33:20]   Sow dissent in our country.[0:33:24]   And that's what they're doing my fellow Americans. Don't fall for it. I'm telling you.[0:33:28]   They're trying to kill us. They're trying to kill Tolkien.[0:33:32]   They're trying to kill Tolkien.[0:33:36]   My man. This is the stuff I live for.[0:33:40]   I love this voice. Don't fall for it. I'm telling you. They're trying to[0:33:44]   kill us. This has been like my most hated voice. You know I talked about how[0:33:48]   like the girls of SNL always fall into this voice. You know A.D. Bryan.[0:33:52]   People like that. It's this medieval voice that[0:33:56]   comedians do when they find themselves in like an uncomfortable situation.[0:34:00]   People have been doing this a lot. It's like my least favorite sounding[0:34:04]   voice that comedians do. It's very cheap.[0:34:08]   My fellow Americans don't fall for it. I'm telling you. They're trying to kill us.[0:34:12]   They're trying to kill Tolkien. They're trying to erase our history.[0:34:16]   What happened to Tolkien? Last I checked they were all whites.[0:34:20]   I mean except the orcs and all the people in Middle Earth.[0:34:24]   They were the well they were the underclasses. This is 21 minutes in.[0:34:28]   I mean it's like crazy nonsense rambling. Like none of it[0:34:32]   really adds up. None of it makes any sense. Has he ever done a solo[0:34:36]   podcast before? I don't know he might have a while back before the[0:34:40]   rape allegations scared him out of town. You know Joe Rogan said[0:34:44]   he loves him now. So we were worried because[0:34:48]   Joe Rogan didn't have Bryan on for a while after those rape allegations[0:34:52]   right. Never addressed it. Never talked about Bryan. Kind of kicked Bryan to the[0:34:56]   curb so we thought. Then Bryan was on that fight companion.[0:35:00]   It didn't go well there. But then I was watching Rogan the other night[0:35:04]   Jules. I think you were sleeping and he kept talking about how he was texting[0:35:08]   with Bryan. He loves Callen. He had this big smile.[0:35:12]   I love Callen. Texted him. So they're in love[0:35:16]   again. That's for sure. Wow someone says that's literally the voice that[0:35:20]   characters do in sitcoms when the situation is awkward. Like New Girl.[0:35:24]   Yes. Yes. New Girl. You'll see that. You'll see that again[0:35:28]   on SNL. Aidy Bryant does that a lot. That fucking freak who[0:35:32]   canceled the show. The Hillary Clinton freak. You know who's always crying on[0:35:36]   SNL. We should do a like a home invasion on that chick.[0:35:40]   What's her name? That blonde woman that people think[0:35:44]   is good because she's the best of the worst as far as doing characters.[0:35:48]   Kate McKinnon. Yes. Let's try[0:35:52]   that new contest. Let's home invade McKinnon.[0:35:56]   How easy is it to scare that woman banging a gun[0:36:00]   on her window in the middle of the night. She's always on the move. You'll never catch her. Yeah. Okay[0:36:04]   let's see what he says next. What happened to Tolkien? Last I checked they were all[0:36:08]   whites. Great. I mean except the orcs and all the people in Middle[0:36:12]   Earth. They were the, well they were the underclasses.[0:36:16]   God's own land. The non-Christians.[0:36:20]   Stop. As it were, the non-Christians[0:36:24]   stop. He looks like one of those little queer princes[0:36:28]   from Game of Thrones. Right? Maybe he wants a part.[0:36:32]   You know Brian Callen was one of the first guys out there to get[0:36:36]   the Caesar. Remember that when that was popular when George Clooney got[0:36:40]   the Caesar haircut back in the you know early 2000s[0:36:44]   late 1990s. Remember that People Magazine.[0:36:48]   He was always talking about the Caesar. That would be a great haircut for Ethan[0:36:52]   Klein I think. But yeah she was the first person to get the Caesar. He can't really do[0:36:56]   it anymore because his hair is kind of gross. But yeah[0:37:00]   he's got that Caesar attitude. Christians as it were[0:37:04]   the non-Christians. The ones who don't have the length[0:37:08]   of bone. Us meat eaters. Us[0:37:12]   milk drinkers. Us wheat eaters. Enjoy.[0:37:16]   The conquerors. The ones on horseback.[0:37:20]   The ones with blue eyes. The conquerors. The ones on horseback.[0:37:24]   I mean it's such a cheap voice I shouldn't be able to imitate. Like when I imitate it I go[0:37:28]   God I'm doing such a cheap voice. But that's his voice. Cheap.[0:37:32]   The imitators.[0:37:36]   Fair hair. Keeps going. The kind of hair that goes so well[0:37:40]   with a field of wheat back in my home. Back when all of us are[0:37:44]   so pure. And it's our time to do it the best we can.[0:37:48]   Oh my God you know who else did this? I just had a flashback. Was this[0:37:52]   before or after the big Deaf Noodles roast extravaganza?[0:37:56]   Yeah let me know. He had an episode where he was like all in black and white[0:38:00]   and then for like two hours he was like I'm ashamed. Deaf Noodles[0:38:04]   yeah see if you can find that. Oh that might be tough to find he's put on so many[0:38:08]   But he went on for hours. Was it the day after[0:38:12]   yeah I don't remember. But yes Deaf Noodles did a very[0:38:16]   similar bit like this for hours. It just went on and on and on.[0:38:20]   I want to hear this thing in its entirety. The hair that goes so well with a field of wheat[0:38:24]   back in my home. Back when all of us are so pure.[0:38:28]   And it's our time to do it the best we can to bring[0:38:32]   Christianity and the West's way of life. I just keep[0:38:36]   imagining him in that Eyes Wide Shut mask with his little Jack[0:38:40]   Rabbit fucking style that he does at those orgies.[0:38:44]   Life to the other peoples.[0:38:48]   We're not going to find that don't worry about that. But having lived in all those other countries[0:38:52]   like the Middle East, Pakistan, India, Pakistan. Having been[0:38:56]   around those people my whole life as a kid I get[0:39:00]   it. It's like there's a lot that the developing world[0:39:04]   got right gets right that Americans[0:39:08]   or the West could learn from. It's just the way it is man.[0:39:12]   Do we have another clip? You could go to 2655.[0:39:16]   We're showing you the best moments from his show.[0:39:20]   So you really don't need to watch. This one is more of like a new[0:39:24]   direction for us to follow. A rule. I don't know how to describe it.[0:39:28]   Alright. 2655. A bit of a permission you could say.[0:39:32]   Oh this is big.[0:39:36]   Everybody pay attention to this one. This is Sam Tripoli's[0:39:40]   main guy. This is his co-host, his best friend.[0:39:44]   You know Sam Tripoli's that old lady that Sam Tripoli got[0:39:48]   involved with Dana? Remember that?[0:39:52]   And he goes woo. Remember that? She produced his[0:39:56]   special. I don't know what that means. You know I'm very confused about that.[0:40:00]   If anybody knows what that means text that to Jules. But he keeps telling everybody[0:40:04]   yes Sam Tripoli's girlfriend Dana[0:40:08]   very great woman produced my special. What does that mean? She gave you[0:40:12]   money? Is she a producer? What production is going on with[0:40:16]   the special? It's at a comedy club. It's your set. You set up three or four[0:40:20]   cameras. You tape it. What was her role? She's a[0:40:24]   Hollywood producer. Does she have power? Is she a Hollywood producer? Is that what people are[0:40:28]   saying? No I'm just saying does she have power over Sam? I have no idea.[0:40:32]   She's older. No idea. This is like The Try Guys. This relationship might not be[0:40:36]   everything about Dana. I want to know where she works.[0:40:40]   What she's worked on. Is she an actual producer?[0:40:44]   Could we get involved in her professional life?[0:40:48]   Will she produce something for us? Questions please[0:40:52]   let us know. So this is interesting though. You know as[0:40:56]   we are all fully aware Sam Tripoli draws a line with free speech.[0:41:00]   If you make fun of his kids[0:41:04]   he flips. In fact most of them you know ever[0:41:08]   since Eminem came out you know most men[0:41:12]   have this thing where it's like nobody and I mean[0:41:16]   nobody goes after my daughter. It's like their[0:41:20]   most important thing oh we get it your kids are so so[0:41:24]   off limits. They're so great. And it seems like a lot of these[0:41:28]   free speech guys that's where their line is. A lot of dads in the[0:41:32]   bring back group as well. Their lines are their daughters[0:41:36]   their wives. Very unique.[0:41:40]   But Brian's got an alternate take and somebody's got to[0:41:44]   clip this. Send this to Sam because this take differs from Sam's[0:41:48]   whole you know world view. How he[0:41:52]   you know thinks things should be. Listen to this.[0:41:56]   That was a blast. Great to see Joey out in Jersey. I did Legion of Skanks. Holy[0:42:00]   shit. Those fans I can't[0:42:04]   imagine. That ain't for the fan of heart.[0:42:08]   You got to come guns a blazing. Come[0:42:12]   ready. You got to have rhino skin. Don't be a bitch.[0:42:16]   Be ready because they're going to fuck with you. But if you can roll[0:42:20]   if you can roll. Did anything happen on that episode? He took a lie detector[0:42:24]   test. A fake lie detector test on that show. We're going to do that too by the way.[0:42:28]   We've got that lie detector guy from all the Logan Paul videos[0:42:32]   and the brain scans. That old man with the beard who sits there.[0:42:36]   We've got him coming in. It's going to be great. But did anything happen on that show? Did[0:42:40]   anybody see anything on Legion of Skanks? Was there anything good? We skipped that one.[0:42:44]   With Brian Callan strapped to the lie detector test.[0:42:48]   He's going on a media blitz here. Okay but this is the important part.[0:42:52]   Again this goes against everything Sam Tripoli stands for. Let's hear this.[0:42:56]   You'll be alright. That's New York man. That's[0:43:00]   Philly. That's east coast shit right there. I love the east coast. The Legion of Skanks[0:43:04]   that whole deal. It's so New York. Those guys are all like[0:43:08]   if you can't roast in New York. If you can't fuck. Talk about somebody's mother.[0:43:12]   There's nothing is off limits. Your kids. Nothing's off limits.[0:43:16]   Really? It's all fair game. Nothing is off limits. Your kids[0:43:20]   nothing is off limits. Only under the[0:43:24]   confines of some Legion of Skanks New York stuff. Can I say that here?[0:43:28]   Only on the east coast only. I'll move to the east coast.[0:43:32]   If that's the deal I'll move to the east coast. I want to go to these kids.[0:43:36]   I got a nice time capsule coming for Brian's kids too.[0:43:40]   I got a nice age chart for all these kids. I got a lot[0:43:44]   of notches on my walls that show their kids heights.[0:43:48]   My whole fucking door jam is destroyed.[0:43:52]   Trying to put all their heights in there so that I can keep up.[0:43:56]   Listen to this. As long as you enter in that contract you're gonna have a good time.[0:44:00]   Okay you gotta enter into the contract first. I think that's what he's saying.[0:44:04]   We can't talk about the kids unless we've entered into a contract with them.[0:44:08]   Just post a clip of this with that card trimmed off. Sure yeah we could[0:44:12]   trim that part off. I forgot about that. So then you're good.[0:44:16]   Nothing is off limits. Your kids. Nothing's off limits. It's all fair game.[0:44:20]   And as long as you enter in that contract you're gonna have a good time.[0:44:24]   Those fans are rabid. Well he said that in order to have a good time[0:44:28]   you have to enter into the contract. Oh okay so you can still have a[0:44:32]   miserable time. The kids aren't off limits. You can enter[0:44:36]   into the contract if you want to have a good time. Okay is there anything more[0:44:40]   with Brian Callins? No but we should watch the one where he's on Joey Diaz because that one has really good.[0:44:44]   Yeah pull that up and then right after that the Bodega[0:44:48]   cat whiskey taste test.[0:44:52]   I'm very excited about this because Joe almost had to spit it out when he tried[0:44:56]   it on his show with Mark Norman. Mark Norman still upset about that by the way. We've got[0:45:00]   a little clip from Mark Norman right? On some other show where he was kind of[0:45:04]   doing Joe dirty. Okay so let's see this next[0:45:08]   one. He was with Joey Diaz. That's right. And I miss Joey Diaz. It's been[0:45:12]   too long. I really miss Joey Diaz as well. Yeah let's bring him guys round of applause[0:45:16]   for Joey.[0:45:20]   He's got a nice room. I think he was following me[0:45:24]   around the block last night. I saw him too.[0:45:28]   We were on our little night walk and there was a hooded figure.[0:45:32]   Okay let's see this. Joey Diaz. We haven't covered Diaz in a long time[0:45:36]   so this is going to be fun. There he is. A good actor.[0:45:40]   Oh he's a good actor. Oh he's got the gel in his hair today. I love when he gels[0:45:44]   his hair and you can see right through to the bottom. Okay here it is.[0:45:48]   Oh Alpha Bray Black Label. Very good stuff. This is Uncle Joey's[0:45:52]   Join. I think we got to skip that. He does a bunch of ads at the beginning right? I had to code[0:45:56]   that 19 seconds that said he flashes you a glass of mystery[0:46:00]   liquid before starting the show. Really? Well this show doesn't even[0:46:04]   start. We're still in ad land here so I don't know about 19 seconds because I'm[0:46:08]   at 140 and we're still draft kings[0:46:12]   baby. If they say baby after the ad it means[0:46:16]   it's good. Draft kings baby. So we're still[0:46:20]   watching this. Promo code joeybet5 get 200.[0:46:24]   Sounds legit. Okay are we finally starting?[0:46:28]   Here we go. Let's see what happens. Uncle Joey's Join everybody.[0:46:32]   With Brian Callan. Ooh.[0:46:36]   Look at this. This is[0:46:40]   nice.[0:46:44]   Look at this. I didn't know we had an intro like this. That's really nice.[0:46:48]   Yeah.[0:46:52]   Is that him palm muting?[0:46:56]   I didn't know we had metal.[0:47:00]   Album art. Album art.[0:47:04]   Okay here it comes. Episode 196.[0:47:08]   We're the great Joey DX.[0:47:12]   Okay. That's plenty Joey.[0:47:16]   That's fine. Let's go.[0:47:24]   You know he does have a guitar. So what's happening you bad[0:47:28]   mother fuckers? It's Wednesday. I got my main man Brian[0:47:32]   Callan here. I got him to come down to fucking Marlboro, New Jersey[0:47:36]   to talk some shit. Look how high that desk is. I mean that desk is really up to here.[0:47:40]   Look how high that desk is in Papa's place.[0:47:44]   I like this. I always think of Joey's little office as like[0:47:48]   you're visiting your grandma at the very lenient[0:47:52]   nursing home. The nursing home that lets you decorate[0:47:56]   the room. It's assisted living I think. It's one step before[0:48:00]   nursing home. So here Joey is in his assisted living[0:48:04]   space. I love his hobbies. You know I love his hobbies. You can't[0:48:08]   hate Joey for his hobbies. His hobbies bring me closer to the man.[0:48:12]   Does Joey know that I also have a record player at[0:48:16]   home? Does he know that I also have[0:48:20]   a drum head?[0:48:24]   Unautographed though. So he's got me beat. He's got some beautiful pictures and I[0:48:28]   believe he does have a little guitar off to the side in front of a little practice amp.[0:48:32]   You know a little ten block practice amp. You guys should hang out.[0:48:36]   I'd love to see him play guitar. Does he do it B.B. King style?[0:48:40]   You know in that big chair.[0:48:44]   I like it. Okay let's see what happens[0:48:48]   from here. It's Uncle Joey's joint.[0:48:52]   What's happening brother? It's good to be here man. It is good to see you. I miss you.[0:48:56]   I miss you too. I was looking for the[0:49:00]   because I have it. I still have it. I just couldn't. It's in the wrong notebook.[0:49:04]   I was looking for the worksheet from the acting.[0:49:08]   For the Beverly Hills Playhouse. No. We did the one act.[0:49:12]   We did the seminar. And we kept it a secret from Rogan.[0:49:16]   We took an acting seminar. It cost us 350 bucks each.[0:49:20]   They love acting seminars.[0:49:24]   I'm telling you Brian Callan's got a little of his berry going on.[0:49:28]   But he's always going to those acting classes.[0:49:32]   I don't think he's interested in learning. I think this is more like a hangout for him.[0:49:36]   You know there's something devious about those little acting classes in L.A.[0:49:40]   And here Joey Diaz went to one as well. Let's hear their little story about acting.[0:49:44]   I'm not about that shit. I see him. It's like a drug deal. I see him. I go what are you doing?[0:49:48]   He goes I'm here. I go well don't tell him. They both here. This is what he's saying.[0:49:52]   They both went to this acting class unbeknownst to each other and just[0:49:56]   ran into each other. Imagine that. You're so embarrassed.[0:50:00]   You're scared. You're taking an acting class hoping nobody sees you.[0:50:04]   And then of course Joey Diaz is there as well. And they're both keeping it a secret[0:50:08]   from Rogan because of course Rogan hates acting. God forbid.[0:50:12]   Of course. Here's their little acting class.[0:50:16]   Oh that's that guitar I was talking about. That little fender over there. What do we got?[0:50:20]   Very cool. It's a telecaster.[0:50:24]   And it says. What does it say? Can you read that from there Jules? Is it[0:50:28]   unblurry for you? No. No you can't. Okay.[0:50:32]   Rogan. He goes no. He wouldn't understand but you know we're trying to be actors.[0:50:36]   This had to be 2001. Oh yeah. We studied[0:50:40]   acting in earnest. We studied it in earnest.[0:50:44]   Should I do Joey Diaz for Halloween? Should I do the prosthetic?[0:50:48]   We're trying to figure out what to do for Halloween this year.[0:50:52]   What do you guys think I should be? I want to do something big.[0:50:56]   Go back five seconds and study his little face right now.[0:51:00]   Like watch him. Press play and watch him. We studied[0:51:04]   acting in earnest. Our dog does that when you scratch him right here.[0:51:08]   Let's do it. Let me see.[0:51:12]   It had to be 2001. Oh yeah. We studied[0:51:16]   acting. Wait. Be actors. This had to be 2001.[0:51:20]   2001. Oh yeah. We studied. We studied.[0:51:24]   There he is. Look at that.[0:51:28]   See how that goes up like. Our dog does[0:51:32]   it. It's like this odd face that the dog makes.[0:51:36]   We don't like it by the way. That's a chilling chilling face. Okay.[0:51:40]   Can you replicate that? I'm saying you should start practicing for your Halloween costumes.[0:51:44]   That's a tough one to do.[0:51:48]   And do a little nod and like a blank eye stare.[0:51:52]   No. No wider eyes.[0:51:56]   No. You keep squinting the eyes.[0:52:00]   I'm trying. This is as wide as my eyes go. I feel like they're going to fall out.[0:52:04]   That burns. Okay. Yeah. Let's see what he does.[0:52:08]   I think that would be a good costume. I want to do the whole thing where they do the fat[0:52:12]   suit and the fake hair and all that stuff. It's either that or Ethan[0:52:16]   and Hila couples costumes.[0:52:20]   But again, I need the fat suit and it makes it tough to do any sort of Halloween stuff[0:52:24]   when you've got the beard. So you almost have to be a bearded[0:52:28]   character for Halloween, right? You know, that's what makes it a little bit more[0:52:32]   difficult for me. But I'd love to be something good this year. I'd love to be Joey Diaz.[0:52:36]   He'd take it personally. Maybe I could be Sam Tripoli. Maybe you could spray[0:52:40]   paint. Denny's got a beard. He does. I could do. What[0:52:44]   if I dyed my beard red and did the prosthetics in the big fat suit?[0:52:48]   Because then you could put on that big, flat, brim hat and those glasses that he's got.[0:52:52]   Yeah, yeah, yeah. That might work. We got to start practicing. When's Halloween? It's coming up soon, huh?[0:52:56]   Two weeks. We started acting in earnest.[0:53:00]   We studied it in earnest. And I forget. This is the guy that cast[0:53:04]   Sleepers and he cast Godfather II. Oh, yeah.[0:53:08]   He did all of it. He cast Donnie Brasco and Milton[0:53:12]   Wallace. This is just acting class nostalgic talk.[0:53:16]   905, you said? Alright.[0:53:20]   905. And what are they going to be doing here? Anything important? Let's see.[0:53:24]   Oh, this is bad. Listen to what they say about themselves.[0:53:28]   This is kind of like an insight to what these people think. These are two actors.[0:53:32]   Remember, Joey wanted to be a soprano his whole life. Brian,[0:53:36]   of course. I remember Brian when I was a kid. He was in some MTV[0:53:40]   zombie show about the police versus the zombies. Did you[0:53:44]   ever see that show, Jules? It was great. He was in it. He was wonderful. Oh, yeah. What[0:53:48]   was that show called? Zombie Police on MTV. It was really good. Death Valley.[0:53:52]   Was that what it was called? You remember that? Yeah. Even I was a teen when that[0:53:56]   came out. You remember that? He was like the main cop. Brian[0:54:00]   Callen was always one of those actors where it felt like we had seen him in movies[0:54:04]   our whole lives. But really, he has a similar vibe to a lot[0:54:08]   of those B-list Hollywood actors that were in a lot of parts[0:54:12]   in the 90s, early 2000s. Wow. I can't believe that was him.[0:54:16]   That was him. Yeah, he was sharp. I woke up from an act[0:54:20]   and I had to be an actor, so I went to the neighborhood playhouse in New[0:54:24]   York City on 54th Street. That was the first time[0:54:28]   I went, this might be the only thing I'm made for. Then[0:54:32]   I found comedy. But I was like, I think[0:54:36]   that I'm not good at anything and I might be good at being somewhat emotional[0:54:40]   and real, because I could feel it.[0:54:44]   My childhood had been so chaotic that I was able to kind of,[0:54:48]   it helped me. And I was also a daydreamer. I was also fucking, I've[0:54:52]   always wanted to be anybody but me. I always wanted to be[0:54:56]   anybody but me. Uh-oh.[0:55:00]   And they think it's normal to say that. I hope when you're sitting at home you don't think that's something[0:55:04]   normal to say. The only person you should want to be is[0:55:08]   me for an imposter contest, okay?[0:55:12]   For a couple hundred bucks and a couple thousand dollars in prizes. That's it.[0:55:16]   You shouldn't want to be somebody else. That's very creepy. But listen to what[0:55:20]   Joey says, too. I was also a daydreamer. I was also fucking, I wanted to be, I've[0:55:24]   always wanted to be anybody but me. Yeah, me too. Right? Yeah, we all do.[0:55:28]   You know what I'm saying? No, no, no, we don't. Yeah, me too. Me too.[0:55:32]   We all do. We all do. And Joey, who would you like to be, you know?[0:55:36]   You want to be me, Joey? I've always wanted to be anybody but[0:55:40]   me. Yeah, me too. Right? Yeah, we all do. You know what I'm saying? So I was[0:55:44]   like, I don't like who I am, so I was always fantasizing about being taller, stronger, faster,[0:55:48]   fucking Scottish, English, whatever the hell you're talking about. Taller, stronger, faster, fantasizing[0:55:52]   about that stuff. You know, with all those kids. Isn't that a shame[0:55:56]   to have kids and your dad sitting around fantasizing? I can't even imagine. Thinking about being Scottish and English.[0:56:00]   I'll never forget, I found my dad's club magazine when I was a kid.[0:56:04]   You ever read Club Jewels? No. I'm not going to say what it is, but[0:56:08]   I couldn't believe it. It was under a stack of his clothes[0:56:12]   in his credenza. You know, when I was a kid, all I did was snoop through my[0:56:16]   parents stuff. There was no internet. So snooping through your parents stuff was the[0:56:20]   way to go. Did you ever do that to your parents? Yeah, but my parents didn't have anything. How do you know?[0:56:24]   I looked. You looked everywhere? Unless they[0:56:28]   had a really good hiding place. I turned that house upside down.[0:56:32]   I would open every, I would take everything out, do an inventory,[0:56:36]   catalog it. And I found one time, uh, I was[0:56:40]   very young. I've told this story before, but I think it's time to tell it[0:56:44]   again. It was under, uh, like a stack of his clothes. I'll[0:56:48]   never forget. It was on the left side of his dresser and I'm snooping[0:56:52]   through trying to find money, guns, fireworks, stuff[0:56:56]   like that, cool stuff, you know, that you didn't have. People are asking, did you whip out[0:57:00]   your club when you looked at it? Well, listen to this. So I pull[0:57:04]   out, I start feeling around and I go,[0:57:08]   Eureka! And I lift under this stack of clothes and there might have been[0:57:12]   a dozen to fourteen club magazines[0:57:16]   stacked up. Ew, so he was an addict. And I pulled[0:57:20]   these out. I had never seen such gore in my life.[0:57:24]   I stole one of them. This was a porno mag[0:57:28]   and I stole one of them and, uh, it was hardcore.[0:57:32]   You know, it showed it all. Large rods sticking out in[0:57:36]   every direction. And I literally did this. I stole the magazine,[0:57:40]   one of them. I put it in my drawer, uh,[0:57:44]   but I couldn't, I couldn't get over the dicks when I was that age.[0:57:48]   I could not get over the dicks. So what I did is I took a permanent marker and I[0:57:52]   blacked out every penis in the[0:57:56]   magazine. Now cut to a few months later, my parents found this[0:58:00]   in my, uh, in my drawer. They took it back.[0:58:04]   There was no conversation to be had, but imagine their surprise when they were[0:58:08]   turning the pages and I had blacked out all the dicks. That probably[0:58:12]   made my dad feel really good. You know, I mean, dad's biggest fear is that[0:58:16]   their kid's going to be bi. He was about to do that himself and then he took[0:58:20]   out his pen. Thank you. Yeah. Then he gave me the rest of the magazines and a couple more sharpies.[0:58:24]   He put me to work. That was instead of doing newspapers or shoveling the snow.[0:58:28]   That's what I did. I blacked out my dad's cocks. It was very nice.[0:58:32]   It made the magazine much better. I also blacked out the[0:58:36]   pussies. Really? The tits, the bots,[0:58:40]   scratched out the eyes. I started writing in backwards letters about[0:58:44]   all this stuff that I was going to do to my family that would harm them.[0:58:48]   Yeah. Do that. Okay. Let's hear a little bit more.[0:58:52]   And all of a sudden I saw you could make a living that way.[0:58:56]   Okay. Yeah. We're going to take a quick little break. I got to get a little.[0:59:00]   It's in the pill bag. We'll be right back.[0:59:04]   Just a quick pill.[0:59:08]   And we'll see you soon.[0:59:12]   Baby, do you understand me now?[0:59:16]   Sometimes I feel a little mad.[0:59:20]   But don't you know that no one alive can always[0:59:24]   be nature. When things go wrong, I seem to be bad.[0:59:28]   I'm just a soul whose intentions are good.[0:59:32]   Oh, no. Thank you.[0:59:36]   Please don't let me be misunderstood.[0:59:40]   Oh, of course, the liquid jowls.[0:59:44]   Jules has a problem swallowing[0:59:48]   pills. She doesn't like swallowing pills. So what I do is I warm up one of these[0:59:52]   liquid jowls so that it gets stuck in her throat while she tries to take it.[0:59:56]   Let's have one.[1:00:00]   Have one with me.[1:00:08]   Very good.[1:00:12]   Should we take a little puff of Gucci? Sure.[1:00:16]   A little ganja with me? Have one with me. The next timecode is one[1:00:20]   that I'm very excited about. Let's have one with me. This is a Laba Girl[1:00:24]   Premium Cannabis Pre-Roll 12%.[1:00:28]   Is that what it says? That's light. Have one with me.[1:00:36]   Let's try the new lighter, huh?[1:00:42]   Some foolish thing, some sinful thing I've done.[1:00:46]   I'm just a soul whose intentions are good.[1:00:50]   Oh, Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood.[1:00:54]   Got the puff?[1:00:58]   I'm just a soul whose intentions are good.[1:01:02]   Oh, Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood.[1:01:06]   Welcome back, everybody, of course, to Red Bar.[1:01:10]   Beautiful Wednesday here. Have a sleepover with me.[1:01:14]   Bunker in for the big Hurricane Andrews. What's it[1:01:18]   called, Hurricane Bitch? Ian. Hurricane Ian. Who do we know that's[1:01:22]   Ian? Do we know an Ian? Ian from Free Talk[1:01:26]   Live. You remember him?[1:01:30]   It's like Libertarian Podcast as much as I do. Check out Free Talk[1:01:34]   Live. It's on AM radio out of Sarasota, Florida. Great show.[1:01:38]   I love Libertarian Projects. Alright, let's go back to these guys.[1:01:42]   You can go to 1730, and I titled this[1:01:46]   one Watch in Slow Mo. Oh, really? And should we[1:01:50]   watch it in RegMo first, and then, okay. We'll do[1:01:54]   RegMo and then Slow Mo. This should be good.[1:01:58]   It's crazy, but no, that's who I grew up around. Like, I see[1:02:02]   the actors that are winning Oscars today, and I see the[1:02:06]   Oscar winners from when I was younger, and I was really into film.[1:02:10]   There's not even a comparison. There's not even a fucking comparison.[1:02:14]   It makes you wrong, though, about one thing, which is that acting is technique.[1:02:18]   There is a great deal. I missed it. I missed it. Jeez, I didn't even know.[1:02:22]   What did I miss? You gotta watch, Joe. Is it this? Okay, let's put Joey[1:02:26]   in a little bit of slow motion. How slow should we go, Jules?[1:02:30]   I don't know. As slow as possible. As slow as possible, really? Okay, we'll do[1:02:34]   two, or is that fast? Which one is the[1:02:38]   slower one? 0.25? Wow, 0.25. Look at that[1:02:42]   for Joey. Okay, here we go.[1:02:46]   There's not[1:02:50]   even a comparison.[1:02:54]   There's not even[1:02:58]   a fucking comparison.[1:03:02]   This is wrong, though,[1:03:06]   about one thing. Wow,[1:03:10]   okay, sure. How do you do that? Why is he[1:03:14]   doing that? Yeah, I remember when this happened. Look at this phase,[1:03:18]   by the way. You know, I've never seen[1:03:22]   the mafia do that. Wait, we gotta get here. Wait, let's see it in fast motion once[1:03:26]   first, because I feel like it had a very jerky motion.[1:03:30]   Very good, yeah. That was shocking. Okay, hold on. In reg mode.[1:03:34]   Okay, reg mode. Let's watch that again and see how that[1:03:38]   came to be. Yeah, I remember that. There's not even a comparison. There's not even a fucking comparison.[1:03:42]   It admits he was wrong, though, about one thing. Yeah, look at that.[1:03:46]   He was over. Not even[1:03:50]   a comparison. There's not even a fucking comparison. It admits he was wrong, though, about[1:03:54]   one thing, which is that acting. I love that, and then one more time,[1:03:58]   of course, in slow-mo. Sorry, that's the stuff I like. Okay. I usually,[1:04:02]   I wonder if anybody watches his entire show in slow motion like that.[1:04:06]   There's not even[1:04:10]   a fucking comparison.[1:04:14]   It admits he was wrong, though,[1:04:18]   about one thing. He looks like he's unsure of what's[1:04:22]   happening with his own arms. I wouldn't mind doing[1:04:26]   this show. Can somebody get in contact with him? Imagine me as a guest. This is the only show[1:04:30]   I'll do as myself. Seriously, I'd fly to Jersey in a heartbeat[1:04:34]   to do this show, because he's got musical instruments. It makes me feel[1:04:38]   like he knows what's going on, you know? I like a man with a[1:04:42]   drum head on his podcast set.[1:04:46]   Okay, so very good. Okay, you can go to 3520 now. This is a good one.[1:04:50]   Should we watch the rest in slow motion or regular? Regular for now.[1:04:54]   3520, okay. This episode is actually really good now. It really is, yeah.[1:04:58]   These guys put on great, great shows. I don't know why we make[1:05:02]   fun of them. 3520, you say? Yeah. Okay, here.[1:05:06]   Well, now it's going the other way around.[1:05:10]   Now it's going back to being a stand-up, because, listen, a[1:05:14]   stand-up comic today, I mean, I'm surprised we don't have baseball cards.[1:05:18]   I'm really surprised.[1:05:22]   I just got an idea.[1:05:26]   I'm surprised we don't have baseball cards.[1:05:30]   Stand-up comedians, you're surprised there's not, like, baseball cards.[1:05:34]   I think that's a brilliant idea. Do you need people's permission[1:05:38]   to make baseball cards of them?[1:05:42]   I'm imagining a world where Redbar is the tops[1:05:46]   of the comedy card world.[1:05:50]   I create the cards, I control the stats, I control the[1:05:54]   images, I control what's set on the pack, the pricing, all that stuff.[1:05:58]   You know? Do you really want me controlling your cards?[1:06:02]   I think this is a great idea for Redbar. Collectible[1:06:06]   cards of all the fools. What's the legality on that?[1:06:10]   You know, when they make baseball cards, is that something you got to work in conjunction with the[1:06:14]   MLB to get the rights to Sammy Sosa and all these guys? You could just change[1:06:18]   one letter in their name, and then you write[1:06:22]   the extra letter in[1:06:26]   a clear font so you can even see it, but when you're in court, the lawyer goes up,[1:06:30]   he highlights it, revealing the other letter was there the whole time.[1:06:34]   This is a serious idea that I've got. Let's get that cooking. Anybody out there,[1:06:38]   message me, DM me, whatever, if you know how to[1:06:42]   make these playing cards. Elizabeth AI says Nerd City has a great card[1:06:46]   guy. Really? Does he really?[1:06:50]   That's what I'm reading. That's freaky. He's got a great[1:06:54]   card guy. What kind of cards? He better not be making any cards of me.[1:06:58]   Okay, let's hear what he says about playing cards.[1:07:02]   I'm really surprised. I'm really surprised. But Joey,[1:07:06]   here's what I say about Standom. There are very few people who[1:07:10]   you can take and throw, like everybody says they're a[1:07:14]   comic, but nowadays you can curate your own audience.[1:07:18]   Before you can get up there, everybody loves you. It's like performing for your own family in a living room[1:07:22]   when you're a kid. But there are very few comics, and you're one of[1:07:26]   these guys. I can put you up in front of any fucking audience[1:07:30]   anywhere in the world. They don't know you. They've never heard of you.[1:07:34]   And I give you 45 minutes up there, and you've got them laughing[1:07:38]   for the whole 45 minutes. That's a rare[1:07:42]   fraternity. That is a thumbnail.[1:07:46]   He knows he doesn't do that. He bombs constantly in front of audiences that don't know him.[1:07:50]   Look at him. I love that gel job. I love when you can see[1:07:54]   through. That line. I forget what you call those lines.[1:07:58]   His little lines? No, the one beside his nose, like his smile line[1:08:02]   is as long as your entire head. Yes, yes, yes.[1:08:06]   You know, we did see something cool. If you see that bottle of water on his set,[1:08:10]   let me know to pause, because he's got these really cool bottles that are like streetwear.[1:08:14]   I love the bottle of water that he's got. I'm not joking. It's a small group of[1:08:18]   people, because that takes real skill, and it takes a long fucking[1:08:22]   time. I think that's lost on it. And if we were bankers,[1:08:26]   the headliners, all of us who are headliners, if we were bankers,[1:08:30]   we'd be very, very wealthy.[1:08:34]   Oh, really, dude? If us comics, this is what Brian[1:08:38]   Kellis is saying to us. If us comics were bankers,[1:08:42]   we'd be very, very wealthy. Why? Because you're such good[1:08:46]   comics. So if you were bankers, you'd be the best bankers. Is that what you're saying?[1:08:50]   Explain why, please. Let's hear that again. That's really weird.[1:08:54]   I think that's lost on it. And if we were bankers,[1:08:58]   the headliners, all of us who are headliners, if we were bankers, we'd[1:09:02]   be very, very wealthy. Because there's probably, how many people can do that,[1:09:06]   honestly, who can put out hour after hour. Why aren't you very, very[1:09:10]   wealthy now as comedians? I don't understand. Just be a banker.[1:09:14]   If I was on Joe Rogan for even one minute, I'd be very,[1:09:18]   very wealthy. Why is it being Jewish an[1:09:22]   insult to you, Nick? It's very easy to get wealthy when you've had so[1:09:26]   much opportunity. I don't know why they're not rich. But if[1:09:30]   they were bankers, they'd be very rich.[1:09:34]   That does really well where we've been making people laugh for 25 years[1:09:38]   on that level. Not a lot of people, bro. I always say you come to my friend's show,[1:09:42]   come to my show. I don't know. These guys get together and[1:09:46]   they start romanticizing. I mean, wait till you see this new Bill Maher we've got[1:09:50]   today with Jeffrey Ross. Bill Maher, by the way, his show has been[1:09:54]   fantastic. We'll talk about that in a second. Okay, is there any more from this one? Someone says if I[1:09:58]   was a merchant. If I was a merchant.[1:10:02]   You like that one, huh? You're dying of it. Sorry. I'm in a laughing mood.[1:10:06]   Good. Good, good, good. Okay, was there more from this time?[1:10:10]   Let me check. No, that's enough. You could do[1:10:14]   $38.50. $38.50. That's a lot of money.[1:10:18]   Okay, $38.50. Here we are. Brian Callen[1:10:22]   and Joey Diaz on Uncle Joey's joint out of New Jersey.[1:10:26]   Again, I would do this show. You have my word. The real[1:10:30]   me would do this show sitting down with him. Would you like to see that happen?[1:10:34]   Get online. Start harassing the man.[1:10:38]   Danny Woodward day in and day out messaging him about his family. Start with[1:10:42]   the family. Get him hooked and then say, no, no, no. It's not about the family. It's a better,[1:10:46]   even better idea. It's Mike from Red Bar. He wants to be your friend now.[1:10:50]   Let's see. Ooh, could we become[1:10:54]   friends? This is a new, I feel like this is what you should do after[1:10:58]   you've played with a fool for a while. New, new idea, new challenge.[1:11:02]   Can I become Joey's good friend?[1:11:06]   Can I become friends with him?[1:11:10]   They became friends with Big Mike? Not entirely.[1:11:14]   This is a one time thing[1:11:18]   for Joey. There's no one else I want to be friends with. No, but let's see if we can[1:11:22]   become like really close with him. I'd like to become deeper enemies[1:11:26]   with just about every show. Sure, sure. Of course. And this would be fake as well, Jules.[1:11:30]   Of course, I don't want to be friends with Joey Coco Diaz, but[1:11:34]   I'd like to see if I could, you know, I think that you guys[1:11:38]   have a connection. I think that that's why you stuck out to him out of all these people[1:11:42]   on YouTube. I think so, too. Because there was like[1:11:46]   something going back and forth between you. He does feel like my papa. He's got[1:11:50]   the same body as my papa. My grandpa has the same body.[1:11:54]   That could be part of it. My grandpa was much cleaner, by the way, folks.[1:11:58]   Much more put together with the same body. He slept with his mouth open all the time.[1:12:02]   I won't I won't even dare show you, but but yeah,[1:12:06]   maybe that's what I'm feeling. The good things is now it's up to us.[1:12:10]   Now I now I I'm producer. I'm publisher.[1:12:14]   I'm director. I do it all. I'm on my own PR team. I don't need[1:12:18]   PR. Oh, OK. Yeah, you're doing really great with[1:12:22]   PR. I really want the[1:12:26]   rings to come back with Brian. I feel like he really thinks he's out of the water with that one.[1:12:30]   You know, just like Chris. But we're going to do some Christie stuff.[1:12:34]   Wait till you hear what we caught Chris D'Elia doing. This is all real.[1:12:38]   And wait till you hear the plans we have for Chris D'Elia.[1:12:42]   No other podcast. A lot of people bitching about Chris D'Elia. Let's take some[1:12:46]   action steps. What do you call that? Action steps.[1:12:50]   I want to see something happen. So we've got a plan coming[1:12:54]   up later today. Let's make Chris D'Elia[1:12:58]   answer. Let's let's see him[1:13:02]   do something coming up later today. All right. Let's hear some more. I do this podcast.[1:13:06]   I do flagrant. I do that. That's that's more than any PR any magazine[1:13:10]   magazine. We want to do Kimmel the fuck out of here for[1:13:14]   three minutes. No, no, thanks. I'll do this. You know, you know what I mean?[1:13:18]   Have you seen the numbers Saturday Night Live? Thank God that all worked out, by the way.[1:13:22]   You see those Zippo tricks? Holy fuck. If you fucked that up, that would have been so[1:13:26]   amazing. And it's not even a Zippo. Cut to the main cam jewels or the close up there.[1:13:30]   It's a Zorro.[1:13:36]   I couldn't believe it. I bought this off eBay. You know,[1:13:40]   I am trying to do this lighter collection, this old lighter[1:13:44]   collection and just stocking up on the basics. It's your basic[1:13:48]   camel. You know, the cigarette brands were big into[1:13:52]   lighters back in the day. So I bought this camel Zippo. I got it.[1:13:56]   I start playing with it. It didn't have the same feel. Didn't have the[1:14:00]   same action. And I go, what the hell's going to turns out to dang Zorro.[1:14:04]   It's not a Zippo. It's a Zorro. Whatever.[1:14:08]   Still work. Ooh, I used to do this one. Watch.[1:14:12]   Right into the pocket. Pretty good.[1:14:16]   Could be worse. Just smoker ting.[1:14:20]   I'm the only one who knows tricks, but they still don't look right. They still look like I don't[1:14:24]   know the trick. You know, like me on a skateboard. It's like, technically[1:14:28]   that is an alley, but that doesn't look like anything good.[1:14:32]   You know, my brother got very offended. I once[1:14:36]   told him that he had no style while skateboarding. You know, he kept telling me he[1:14:40]   could do a kickflip and then he would do it and I'd be like, and I go, yeah,[1:14:44]   but that's, you know, you ever knew those kids who technically[1:14:48]   it's like, yes, I guess that's technically a kickflip, but[1:14:52]   look just like a big jerk. There's no point. You might as well[1:14:56]   not skate. It looks cooler to just walk. All right, let's hear some more.[1:15:00]   Those actors can't sell tickets.[1:15:04]   God bless them. They're all very talented, but it's hard. It's not enough just to be on a TV[1:15:08]   show. So new media is, you know, it's really crazy[1:15:12]   how much you're right. When we got to LA in 97, you recurred on[1:15:16]   a TV show. That's it. There it is.[1:15:20]   I love this water. Is this[1:15:24]   only local to his hometown? Look at this deer[1:15:28]   park. Well, I'm not making fun of it, but come on. You're telling me that don't look[1:15:32]   nicer than arrowhead. My least favorite water, that arrowhead.[1:15:36]   Yikes. You got maroon in that logo. You got[1:15:40]   green, black. Nothing looks worse than[1:15:44]   black and maroon, folks. Oh, by the way,[1:15:48]   everybody got their merch. Look, I'm wearing pine today.[1:15:52]   Is that yours? No, it's pine. Get it? I'm wearing pine today, too.[1:15:56]   You're wearing the pine today, too. We love the pine. People really love this[1:16:00]   merch. I can't believe it. People are posting about it as if it's like I told them to.[1:16:04]   They're posting about it as if it was part of the contract of buying this stuff.[1:16:08]   I can't believe it, but I'm so glad you like it. Please, though, because I[1:16:12]   saw somebody doing this and that somebody was myself.[1:16:16]   I looked in the mirror the other day and I[1:16:20]   realized I was wearing a red bar hat, the one that we just sold, and[1:16:24]   the red bar tee. Do not[1:16:28]   do this. Not only will your colors clash, we have not designed these to go[1:16:32]   together purposefully because you're going to look like you work[1:16:36]   at the red bar grocery store.[1:16:40]   You cannot wear the hat with the shirt. Please don't let me see[1:16:44]   out like that because that's going to be extremely embarrassing.[1:16:48]   I caught myself. I was wearing it. I went to the customs shop. You do that a lot. I do it[1:16:52]   a lot because it's my favorite hat. It's my favorite shirt. Sometimes I'm not thinking.[1:16:56]   I went over to the customs[1:17:00]   shop, got some upgrades for my[1:17:04]   ride. I can't wait to show you my upgrades, by the way. I've got a[1:17:08]   great trail video coming out very soon.[1:17:12]   Hopefully next month I'm going to release my version[1:17:16]   of a YouTube video about a couple of guys going[1:17:20]   out on the trail. I worked at the shop. I felt like a fucking idiot.[1:17:24]   Even the people at the shop were dressed cooler than me in their own clothes. They didn't have[1:17:28]   the matching, matching, matching. Please do not do that.[1:17:32]   That will make you look very stupid, okay? Keep the hat and the shirt[1:17:36]   separate. Thank you guys so much. I'm glad you love the merch.[1:17:40]   Everyone is saying that Deer Park is Jersey swamp water.[1:17:44]   I bet the water is bad. People got a lot of opinions about bottled water. My favorite bottled water.[1:17:48]   You're going to think I'm kidding. If you know anything about me, you know it's true.[1:17:52]   Dasani. I love Dasani.[1:17:56]   Dasani is the cleanest tasting water.[1:18:00]   People like to, I feel like the people who make fun of Dasani.[1:18:04]   There's a couple instances like this I want to put together a piece.[1:18:08]   An article about these little things that people think they hate[1:18:12]   but they don't really hate. Like the word[1:18:16]   moist is one of them. Where you get people going, the word moist, not for me.[1:18:20]   It's for you. You just heard that somewhere. You thought[1:18:24]   you didn't really even think it through. I think it's the same thing with these water brands.[1:18:28]   It's become a meme. You think you hate[1:18:32]   Dasani. You can't. You can't possibly.[1:18:36]   You know I buy the little Dasani's like this and when we go camping[1:18:40]   I try to fill up a five gallon water jug by opening one at a time.[1:18:44]   By the time I'm done with this, sun's down[1:18:48]   and we have to turn around because we can't set up camp at dark.[1:18:52]   It's too dangerous. Would you like to see videos[1:18:56]   of me and Jules going camping? It's like a slasher movie. Have you ever seen[1:19:00]   Jason Goes to Hell? The opening scene in Jason Goes to Hell?[1:19:04]   That's what our camping trips are like. Now I think the Dasani is good because of[1:19:08]   the metallic taste. That's what we like about it. We like that[1:19:12]   sharp cold metal taste. That's what we like in[1:19:16]   water. See some people like that spring water. To me spring water tastes like spit.[1:19:20]   Tastes like toilet water.[1:19:24]   To me yeah like Fiji. People think Fiji is like the fanciest one. To me that[1:19:28]   tapes like a ladle from your toilet. It's room[1:19:32]   temperature. You pour it in a cup. It's clean water from your tap[1:19:36]   but it's been run through the sides of a toilet.[1:19:40]   It is brushing down. The toilet to me is a disgusting place. You ever see these people like this when[1:19:44]   they're sick? They lean over. They put their whole head in the toilet like that?[1:19:48]   Stand up. Stand up to vomit.[1:19:52]   Please. You know? There is a lot[1:19:56]   of new listeners because Dasani used to be a huge part of the show.[1:20:00]   Are they all telling us? If I[1:20:04]   haven't thought about it for five minutes you know we always get people... Telling you the facts about how it's[1:20:08]   tap water with salt. It's got salt in it to make you[1:20:12]   more thirsty. Rumors I hope they shoo you personally come out and shoo you[1:20:16]   this company. I might report you to Dasani and start shooing their customers[1:20:20]   with them. Listen to like season 15. It's mostly[1:20:24]   Dasani talk I'm pretty sure. You'll love it.[1:20:28]   I love Dasani. I've actually switched my new favorite water right now.[1:20:32]   I don't know. What are we drinking right now? My favorite is Ascentia.[1:20:36]   That's the only one I drink now. Ascentia is very nice water.[1:20:40]   I don't like spring water though. I pretty much have quit on Dasani since[1:20:44]   Ascentia started being the most popular.[1:20:48]   So the chat lit up how Dasani is. Dasani is like when I[1:20:52]   brought up how we get Taco Bell before the show. And people are telling me[1:20:56]   that Taco Bell isn't good for you. It's not real.[1:21:00]   Please. Taco Bell is[1:21:04]   and again I've been around for many years. I understand perfectly[1:21:08]   what Taco Bell is. What Dasani is. Trust me[1:21:12]   I don't just see the product and start gulping it down without questioning.[1:21:16]   Coolio died. Did Coolio die[1:21:20]   just now? Put on some music. That's what I'm hearing. Seriously Coolio just died?[1:21:24]   I think so. Sorry I'm secretly so. I've been waiting[1:21:28]   fucking years for this. How'd he die? I want to know everything.[1:21:32]   We're stopping. We're going to interrupt this stuff. No, no, no. Please.[1:21:36]   I hope you didn't put that up. Cut that off. That's not funny. That's weird[1:21:40]   Wow. By the way. This is Coolio?[1:21:44]   What did he die from? What's the best Coolio song? How old was[1:21:48]   Coolio? Give me the article too. I want to see what's[1:21:52]   going on. It's Coolio. Coolio died. Let's smoke for it.[1:22:00]   Coolio is another one of those things. It's not funny to make fun of Coolio[1:22:04]   because he decided to use the word cool and an I and an O[1:22:08]   to form his name.[1:22:12]   We're just waiting for that. Send it over. I want to see it.[1:22:20]   Coolio, I knew this was going to happen.[1:22:24]   I fucking knew it.[1:22:28]   Coolio dead at 59. Yikes.[1:22:32]   We're going to start seeing Dane Cook posting pictures with Coolio at one of his game night[1:22:36]   parties. Very interesting. Coolio dead at 59. I like[1:22:40]   that. I think every headline should be dead at[1:22:44]   age. Makes things clear. Dead at age[1:22:48]   problem. Obviously they've got no respect for Coolio.[1:22:52]   If somebody they respected died, they wouldn't go, dead at 59.[1:22:56]   Donate to this family. Dead at 59.[1:23:00]   That's really cruel to say.[1:23:04]   If I died, I wouldn't want just, dead at 59.[1:23:08]   How did he die, Jules? Does it say?[1:23:12]   Coolio died Wednesday in LA.[1:23:16]   Obviously. With all those other regulations.[1:23:20]   Keep reading after Coolio's long time manager. Coolio's long time manager, Jarez.[1:23:24]   He's a good friend of mine, Jarez.[1:23:28]   Jarez park is what we used to call him because he had his own[1:23:32]   kids park set up. All right, let's see this. Coolio's long time manager, Jarez.[1:23:36]   These guys have the worst managers, by the way. I met[1:23:40]   Post Malone's manager. He's got like[1:23:44]   Vitiligo. These guys are like ruthless, old school boxing[1:23:48]   promoters where they're just doing all this behind the[1:23:52]   scenes. They treat Post Malone like they treated Elvis.[1:23:56]   It's true. Wait, doesn't Joey Diaz go, I've been watching[1:24:00]   that Elvis movie a lot lately.[1:24:04]   I hope we have that. We have that, right? I think I do. He goes, I've been watching that[1:24:08]   Elvis movie a lot lately. And there's another really good sound bite[1:24:12]   in this one, too. Let's see how Coolio died.[1:24:16]   She even put up gangsters. Please don't blame her. She doesn't know any better. I just clicked the first song on his[1:24:20]   page. Sorry. If you grew up around my age, you would know, please,[1:24:24]   have some respect for this gangster's paradise. Don't fall into that trap with[1:24:28]   everybody else. You know, Ethan Klein, I guarantee, can have gangsters paradise.[1:24:32]   Because that's the funniest part of Coolio's death, right? Wrong.[1:24:36]   Coolio's longtime manager, Jurezz,[1:24:40]   says, Coolio, oh, I love this, man. I love this[1:24:44]   story. I didn't skip ahead and read, but I like this. He's going to explain how[1:24:48]   Coolio died here. Please be a fall. Please be a simple[1:24:52]   accidental fall. Because I saw the word bathroom. I love this.[1:24:56]   A lot of my friends have died just simply from falling. I lost an uncle to this.[1:25:00]   They go, Mike, your uncle's died. I go, oh, how?[1:25:04]   He fell. I just can't imagine dying by[1:25:08]   falling yourself. That's how Otho died, too, remember?[1:25:12]   We were good friends. I'm not even kidding. If you're new to the show, remember[1:25:16]   that- His uncle really did die of a fall. My uncle. Yeah. Yes, he died of a fall[1:25:20]   in the bathroom. And then, Otho from[1:25:24]   Beetlejuice died the same way. Did you know if you're new- Oh, shot it. Shot Otho.[1:25:28]   If you're new to the show, we actually used to have Otho[1:25:32]   from Beetlejuice on as a[1:25:36]   recurring, fake, ironic guest. But it was really[1:25:40]   him. And he was great. I mean, he was like this flamboyant[1:25:44]   gay guy. He lives in Atlanta, right? Or Alabama or something creepy like[1:25:48]   that. He's got one of those old beautiful- What do they call those homes?[1:25:52]   Beautiful Victorian homes. You know, and he actually[1:25:56]   died. He was sitting on his motorized scooter or something, and he just[1:26:00]   fell off. Not much of a fall. He just fell off and died.[1:26:04]   We couldn't believe it. You know, we would talk to him every year during our[1:26:08]   spooktaculars, our Halloween time shows. We used to have[1:26:12]   Otho from Beetlejuice. His name is Glenn Shaddix, of course. He would do intros.[1:26:16]   Maybe I'll find one of those- dig up one of those promos that he did for us.[1:26:20]   Man, I miss him now, thinking about it. But yes, he died falling. I hope that's[1:26:24]   not how Coolio went. Did you go to his funeral? No.[1:26:28]   Why not? I don't think he was involved in anything good.[1:26:32]   I think they probably found a lot of dirty stuff in that house, that Victorian house.[1:26:36]   Probably a lot of stuff that they just had to put aside and[1:26:40]   not speak of. You know, he's dead. It doesn't really matter anymore. Let's not[1:26:44]   fuck it up for the whole family. Seriously, I think he was a-[1:26:48]   I think he was a pedophile, to be honest.[1:26:52]   Mary Gary says Mike's bathroom walls are lined with handrails like an old person.[1:26:56]   My bathroom walls? They actually are. I just removed[1:27:00]   a handrail from the studio bathroom. We have an extra one right over there.[1:27:04]   I'll bring it in in the next break. I'll prove it to you, that I've removed[1:27:08]   the handrails from the bathroom here. I could actually prove that on the next break.[1:27:12]   Imagine me with a handrail. Here, you're gonna see that.[1:27:16]   And man, am I good at the handrail. I might install it low to the ground[1:27:20]   so I could do some of my rollerblading tricks for you later, you know?[1:27:24]   Grinds and such. Alright, let's see. Coolio's[1:27:28]   longtime manager, Jarezz, who I[1:27:32]   like to imagine looks just like AB from H3.[1:27:36]   Okay, just listen to me. His longtime manager, Jarezz, says Coolio went to the bathroom[1:27:40]   at his friend's house. I want to take my time with this.[1:27:44]   Coolio went to the bathroom at his friend's house, but when he didn't[1:27:48]   come out after a while, the friend kept calling for him[1:27:52]   and eventually went in. Found[1:27:56]   Coolio laying on the floor. I can't believe it.[1:28:00]   Get up, he said. Nothing. Uh, okay.[1:28:04]   We're told that the friend called the EMTs. You should have called[1:28:08]   911. That's your biggest mistake. Never call the EMTs direct.[1:28:12]   First of all, they hate that. Always call 911.[1:28:16]   They arrive, they pronounce Coolio dead on the scene.[1:28:20]   They gotta come up with a better word for dead, man. That's a disrespectful thing to say.[1:28:24]   I think dead, RIP, you know, we got Halloween coming up.[1:28:28]   I'm at Walgreens, it says RIP all over the damn aisle.[1:28:32]   So we gotta take that out of our serious statements. Okay, let's see.[1:28:36]   We're told that the friend called the EMTs. They pronounced Coolio dead on the scene. You know[1:28:40]   what I mean? Did they do an old school Coolio op? He's dead on the[1:28:44]   scene. You know what I mean? They love that[1:28:48]   scene and mean. Back in the day, they loved that line. Okay, let's[1:28:52]   see. Jarezz tells the paramedics, he suspects[1:28:56]   that Coolio suffered cardiac arrest. Wait, why is Jarezz[1:29:00]   telling the paramedics? I don't like how Jarezz, I think Jarezz has a lot to do with this[1:29:04]   death. Look into Jarezz. In fact, anytime somebody dies,[1:29:08]   a person near that person should be detained for at[1:29:12]   least a week. Uh, Coolio, his real name is Artis[1:29:16]   Lavon Ivy. You know, I'm not one of these guys who goes, oh, that's[1:29:20]   his real name. I'm over real names and being surprised[1:29:24]   by him. Remember that when Eminem came out and revealed his name was Marshall?[1:29:28]   People could not get over that. I mean, that was big.[1:29:32]   But he's a rapper. Marshall is such a nerdy name.[1:29:36]   Yeah, yes it is.[1:29:40]   Don't make fun of people's names. Coolio's real name is Artis[1:29:44]   Lavon Ivy Jr.[1:29:48]   I came up with a very funny black name the other day. What was that[1:29:52]   black name? Oh, yeah. Muriel Parker.[1:29:56]   His name was Muriel Parker. Who did I[1:30:00]   say that about? It was like a nominee thing, very close to how[1:30:04]   you guys love this nominee thing I do. And by the way,[1:30:08]   that makes watching the Emmys very rewarding. By the way, we wrote[1:30:12]   that down because the Emmys wasn't too long ago in every time.[1:30:16]   Oh, next nominee.[1:30:20]   It really, I didn't even say it that much on this show. A few[1:30:24]   years ago, maybe a year ago, I said on the show, I go, you know, I came up with a, here,[1:30:28]   I'll do it for all the new people. It goes like this. And then we're[1:30:32]   going to do a Bodega Cat taste test because I'm dying. I mean, I'm looking at this bottle[1:30:36]   and I'm salivating. But we have to see the JDS Elvis thing after that. Of course, of course. Yeah, we're going to do it all.[1:30:40]   So I came up with this thing where[1:30:44]   it was a day just like today. I was on the show.[1:30:48]   I was rapping. I was sharing my feelings. I know how you came up with it.[1:30:52]   Because there was one black guy on The Bachelorette that you said[1:30:56]   looked like a Grammy nominee. There it is. And then you described[1:31:00]   him as. Yes. OK, so this is so we're watching The Baffler[1:31:04]   and we see a black guy and you know how, like, there's a lot of black guys that look[1:31:08]   very stylish, very stylish, black panther, black guys.[1:31:12]   They were like in like an outdated way. Maybe I was never thinking about[1:31:16]   that. Really. Like it's not stylish in a street where it's stylish in like a car. Oh, yes.[1:31:20]   Of course, like a John Legend type of style. Exactly. And[1:31:24]   you know, these Grammy Award winning John Legends and stuff.[1:31:28]   And yeah, I did see this black fellow and he had that look.[1:31:32]   He had the look of a nominee. And then it just[1:31:36]   it just hit me like that. I go, what if we started calling?[1:31:40]   Is this OK? Can you get away with this? Can we just call black people[1:31:44]   nominees? But I think you started[1:31:48]   it as referring to a specific type of type of black person. But now I think we're doing[1:31:52]   it to all types of black people. Well, no, I think there should be some specificity.[1:31:56]   Yeah, specificity to that. Yeah. You see[1:32:00]   a black guy. He's sharp. He's got like a new haircut. He's smells[1:32:04]   good. I would say maybe he has a tuxedo. Maybe he is.[1:32:08]   Tyler, the creator. Not really. No, not at all. It's like[1:32:12]   the creator is not a nominee. John Legend's good. I think the guy from Black[1:32:16]   Panther, all the guys from Black Panther could work, you know, when they're on the red[1:32:20]   carpet in their tux. You know, you watch these award shows and there's like a whole[1:32:24]   there's this new TV black element[1:32:28]   that they've like propped up so that they don't look racist. It's like[1:32:32]   I call them ABC. It's like an ABC[1:32:36]   you know, and it's like this whole group of like, you know,[1:32:40]   these guys and girls that are very TV cheesy cheap[1:32:44]   Anthony Anderson type level black people.[1:32:48]   And they've really taken over these award shows. I mean, every award show now is[1:32:52]   nominee after nominee coming up and then introducing the nominees.[1:32:58]   Is there anything wrong with that? There's nothing wrong with that.[1:33:02]   My point was nominee. I said that once on the show[1:33:06]   and till this day, you see people reference[1:33:10]   it a lot. And what I why I brought it up today is because it does[1:33:14]   shoot through. It's kind of like that Netflix N or hearing[1:33:18]   somebody say N. But whenever I hear[1:33:22]   nominee, I'm stopped in my tracks thinking about, well, that's like a bad word for a black person.[1:33:28]   Nominee. You could use that one. Use that one. That will be with you for a very long time.[1:33:34]   Correct? OK. People are asking if you think is Pharrell[1:33:38]   Pharrell's nominetic. OK, let's be careful here.[1:33:42]   I it's very hard for a musical artist.[1:33:46]   Well, I shouldn't say that. I see it as like an actor. It's more of an actor's thing.[1:33:50]   It's more of a TV actor or a musician that's not[1:33:54]   very not music that we would like.[1:33:58]   I don't like Pharrell either. So Pharrell can be nominetic,[1:34:02]   but he's not. You know, Pharrell's almost too[1:34:06]   nominees are kind of also new in the game.[1:34:10]   You know, like they're being nominated. They're not[1:34:14]   like they're being nominated. They're new. They're kind of like best new nominee.[1:34:18]   Best new black. You know, they're kind of like they haven't really been around.[1:34:22]   Pharrell's been around for too long to be a nominee. You know what I mean?[1:34:26]   He helps with the voting of[1:34:30]   these awards. He's not a guy who's nominated for best[1:34:34]   new artist. Yes. We are just seeing but also[1:34:38]   like a guy that you don't really know about. But like he's on daytime[1:34:42]   TV circuits. You know, he does interviews like he's on Ellen. He's on[1:34:46]   Rachel Ray. Selena Plus Chef[1:34:50]   has had a couple nominees on there. You know who I like and who I'm aspiring[1:34:54]   to be? Do you guys watch Selena Plus Chef on HBO Max?[1:34:58]   That's a good show. We just wrapped season three, right?[1:35:02]   That was really good. And you know who I got a hard on for on that show?[1:35:06]   You're going to think it's Raquel. No. I got a[1:35:10]   I got a big thing going with that grandpa. I can't[1:35:14]   get over that grandpa. I don't like him one bit.[1:35:18]   Selena, not bad for attention. He gets so proud of himself[1:35:22]   when he can like open a bottle for the girls. They're like grandpa, grandpa[1:35:26]   open this because you're still a man, right? He's like[1:35:30]   not bad for attention. Shut the[1:35:34]   fuck up you white supremacist.[1:35:38]   And I thought Selena was a I thought Selena was a fucking[1:35:42]   Mexican. Turns out her whole family is like Blue Lives[1:35:46]   Matter, the Blue Line, Thin Blue Line guys. Very[1:35:50]   fucking creepy. You watching that show? Selena Plus Chef, I hope you're[1:35:54]   not skipping over that. Is R. Kelly a nominee? When he[1:35:58]   went to court, he looked like a nominee. When he was dressed up in that court suit, absolutely.[1:36:02]   I would those guys are too old. You know, they shouldn't be[1:36:06]   when I look at R. Kelly or those people, I don't look at their race. A nominee is[1:36:10]   older in years, but new in introduction.[1:36:14]   He's deaf. He's probably in his 40s. Yeah, he's in his 40s. I mean, I[1:36:18]   could see him right now. His hair. But he's new to us. I'll tell you[1:36:22]   what it is. Their hair is his black people hair, by the way.[1:36:26]   Their hair must sparkle.[1:36:30]   You understand what I mean? You ever seen a black person[1:36:34]   show nominee that his hair[1:36:38]   sparkles those little beads?[1:36:42]   They sparkle. They glisten[1:36:46]   because he's such a nominee. Does that make any sense?[1:36:50]   By the way, the glistening hair of a rich watched[1:36:54]   Selena Plus Chef, that really is disappointing because you would please[1:36:58]   here's some homework. Watch all three seasons.[1:37:02]   Get really into the show. Come back. Re-watch this[1:37:06]   whole grandpa thing that I just did.[1:37:10]   Trust me, it's going to be, the production value of that would be[1:37:14]   right up your alley. Okay. Coolio died.[1:37:18]   Artis Lavon Ivey, hold on. I just want to see the end of this. The rap scene's[1:37:22]   latest. He blew up nationally in 1995 when he[1:37:26]   released Gangsta's Paradise. And I don't like when white people also do that.[1:37:30]   When they're like, Fiddy? His name is actually[1:37:34]   Fiddy. It's not. You're mocking nominees.[1:37:38]   You know, and it's not Gangsta's Paradise. If you're white, you've got to call it[1:37:42]   Gangsta's Paradise. And you don't really focus on the end.[1:37:46]   But to sit around and go, gangstas?[1:37:50]   It's too much. And it's racist to say it with the[1:37:54]   A, apostrophe A. I think so. Someone just goes[1:37:58]   Selena got a fat ass. Selena's got a terrible ass.[1:38:02]   Hey, I thought fat ass was a good thing. No, not that kind of fat.[1:38:06]   Her kind of fat is disgusting. I mean, Selena really, she destroyed her[1:38:10]   whole body. Her whole body is destroyed. You cannot use that body[1:38:14]   for anything. Don't believe me? Get it naked. Under the bright[1:38:18]   light, daylight. I want you to get the worst, cheap[1:38:22]   AmazonBasics daylight bulbs. These things are[1:38:26]   harsh. They're going to pull out acne from ten layers under your skin.[1:38:30]   You didn't even know you had a zit. But these lights, okay?[1:38:34]   And put Selena naked under those lights, believe me, you won't be. Ooh, she's hot.[1:38:38]   You might. Not me, though. Not me[1:38:42]   at all. Not me. I find her to be, I almost, I have like an[1:38:46]   obsession with chicks that have destroyed their bodies or gotten so[1:38:50]   ugly. You know, that really bothers me for a very long period of time.[1:38:54]   I almost could never get over it. Like, if somebody was good looking enough,[1:38:58]   and then they turned so ugly. Ooh, what's wrong[1:39:02]   with you? Why did you do that? I think she's cute now. At the beginning of Selena and Shuff, she's very[1:39:06]   depressed and going through things. I think she looks[1:39:10]   old. But now she seems so happy. I don't care about happiness. That's not[1:39:14]   involved in my looks scale. Okay, let's see here.[1:39:18]   He blew up nationally. Okay, Dangerous Minds, the song. Well, paradise. Okay, so nobody knows[1:39:22]   why he died. Coolio was 59. Rip.[1:39:26]   I might get banned off rip. Rip.[1:39:30]   I really don't think you should be saying that at the end of an article.[1:39:34]   Rip. Look at that. I've never even seen it done like that, to be[1:39:38]   honest. Coolio was 59. Rip.[1:39:42]   Want to take a rip? Yeah, out for a rip.[1:39:46]   Ooh. Nothing worse than the Menelk[1:39:50]   Boys, huh? Okay, so there he is. Coolio's dead. Let's get back to[1:39:54]   Joey Diaz on Uncle Joey's Joint with Brian Callan.[1:39:58]   A very enjoyable episode. I might redo our den[1:40:02]   to be like this. Maybe we should tell our interior decorator[1:40:06]   we want it to be an exact replica of Uncle Joey's Joint.[1:40:10]   That's a nice room. We could prepare that room for my old age. That would be cool.[1:40:14]   That could be my senior's room. Okay, let's see. Should we keep[1:40:18]   playing from here? Should I skip to a new timecode here? You want to go to[1:40:22]   1510 for... 1510? Yeah. Sorry, I missed[1:40:26]   this one before. Brian knows a lot about that, yeah![1:40:30]   Okay, 1510.[1:40:34]   Alright, is this going to be... Oh my God, look at the face he's making here. Is this going to be[1:40:38]   that thing about... What was I just saying? Yes. It is. What was that again?[1:40:42]   You'll remember. I'll remember. Because I had a lot to say about it, right?[1:40:46]   Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. This is so funny. Yeah, and I hope we backed it up[1:40:50]   long enough, right? You could go a little bit farther back if you want. A little bit farther[1:40:54]   now. A little bit farther now. It's a song, folks. You got it.[1:40:58]   Okay, whoa! Ooh, what is this? Look what I just found.[1:41:02]   This ain't good.[1:41:06]   This ain't good. Look at that, Jules. We found a ball![1:41:10]   Do you see... Oh, wait, wait, wait. God, you got to tell me when it's right[1:41:14]   in front of a bottle. Here, look at this. Can you see that now?[1:41:18]   Look at what we found. Look at that thing![1:41:22]   I think someone posted on the BBG that he recently went[1:41:26]   to the doctor for that. Got it checked out, and he's got a nice little bandage on it now.[1:41:30]   That's what you should... I was just going to say, use a bandage to flatten that thing out and then wear[1:41:34]   a higher collar. Preacher collar. You can't walk around[1:41:38]   with that. My dog's got a hundred of those things hanging off him now. And that[1:41:42]   says they're bad news. All right, let's see what he does here.[1:41:46]   Oh, yeah, this is the Elvis movie part. I love this part. Watch this.[1:41:50]   It's a speed bag, they're saying, about his little thing.[1:41:54]   I believe it. Okay, here we go. The dose of self-love[1:41:58]   and feeling of total insignificance, of course.[1:42:02]   Listen, as Americans, we've been taught that they're everything. That's right.[1:42:06]   You know, I came to this country when they were everything. That's right.[1:42:10]   And then, you know, Jules thought in another shot, there's another shot[1:42:14]   of Joey where you see this picture here and you see this white ring.[1:42:18]   And we thought this was some kind of cool art, right? Like we just thought this was like[1:42:22]   some old painting and then somebody put a white circle around it, you know, from the other[1:42:26]   angle. Turns out, it's just his cheap Amazon[1:42:30]   ring lights. He's using like what Tana Mango[1:42:34]   uses to light her face 10 years ago. Remember ring lights?[1:42:38]   YouTubers thought, oh, to get the professional look, use a[1:42:42]   ring light. You know, they use ring lights for like magazine shoots, right? Like[1:42:46]   the cover of Vogue, stuff like that. It, you know, brings attention to the[1:42:50]   face here. But it really only works if you have the[1:42:54]   ring light right in front of you and you're going for that look. It's not meant to[1:42:58]   be set on light stands all over the room, lighting the room.[1:43:02]   So you've got these rings. Anybody who lights their set with ring lights,[1:43:06]   that's how you know they're stupid, okay? Always call that out[1:43:10]   and never settle for ring lights, okay? Call it[1:43:14]   out in the comments, too. All right, let's see what he does here. He's going to talk about my favorite[1:43:18]   movie, this Elvie movie that just came out, directed by one of my[1:43:22]   favorite directors. What's his name?[1:43:26]   Brian De Palma. And wow, was it something[1:43:30]   else, huh? A real wacky movie. A lot of graphics in[1:43:34]   there that I didn't really like. Well, they were royalty. They were royalty.[1:43:38]   And they were out of touch. Elvis was fucking everything. Out of touch. You know,[1:43:42]   fucking. And you see a lot of people talking about Elvis before they talk about how they[1:43:46]   just saw the movie, too. A lot of people, this is like the sixth time[1:43:50]   where I hear somebody start talking about, oh yeah, you know, Elvis did this.[1:43:54]   You got to say, I just learned that. You have to include that part.[1:43:58]   I don't like when people, have you noticed this? People talking about[1:44:02]   Elvis, but they're speaking about him is if they always knew this stuff about[1:44:06]   Elvis and didn't just learn it from the fake fictional[1:44:10]   rendition of the movie. That's why you can't go around saying, oh yeah, did you see what happened?[1:44:14]   That movie was fake. It was a cartoon.[1:44:18]   So here he is. He's going to talk about that. You know, when you look at somebody like[1:44:22]   Elvis, I've been watching that movie lately, just fucking like[1:44:26]   remembering how good of an entertainer.[1:44:30]   That to me, that just made my day. Did you hear what he said? I've been watching that[1:44:34]   movie lately. You can't watch a movie lately.[1:44:38]   Just can't happen. So, uh, cause that's something you would[1:44:42]   say, right? About a show. You know, if you were talking about something[1:44:46]   that kept happening in a show, you'd, oh yeah, I've been watching that show lately.[1:44:50]   That's why this is on my mind, but he's been watching an hour and[1:44:54]   20 minute movie lately. You know, fucking[1:44:58]   you know, when you look at somebody like Elvis, I've been watching that movie lately.[1:45:02]   I can't get over that. Sorry. I'm going to do a zoom in.[1:45:06]   I'm going to hear him say it again. I'm going to really pay attention to that. I've been watching that movie a lot lately.[1:45:10]   I'm sorry. I think we would get along great.[1:45:14]   Swimmingly. I'd like to see how well he could, I bet he swims great.[1:45:18]   He's one of these guys, six in the morning. He's at the hotel pool. He's the reason[1:45:22]   we're not going in, right? Cause he's there waiting around.[1:45:26]   I bet he's a great swimmer. A great swimmer.[1:45:30]   Fucking, you know, when you look at somebody like Elvis, I've been watching that movie[1:45:34]   lately. I love that. He takes it very seriously when he[1:45:38]   tells you what he's been doing lately. Very, very, very funny.[1:45:42]   Fucking like remembering how good of an entertainer that man[1:45:46]   was. What he did was fucking, you know,[1:45:50]   you can't even, and you look at it now and you go, he's Elvis. No[1:45:54]   bitch. Just from the movie. They say,[1:45:58]   I hear a lot of reports that he was very boring live,[1:46:02]   very boring live. And a lot of times he didn't even sing. He just sat there,[1:46:06]   started yelling at the crowd. All right.[1:46:10]   Can we get a 56.55? This is just a part that I need[1:46:14]   as a soundbite. 56.55. Here we go.[1:46:18]   We've had two drinks here. We've had a couple of puffs of shmi if you want to catch up.[1:46:22]   Don't go over what we do. It breaks the stream.[1:46:26]   All right. 56 what? 55.[1:46:30]   Wow. 56.55. Here we are.[1:46:34]   Let's see what happens. I'm excited. Uncle Joey's joint.[1:46:38]   I never expected to make any money. No. So I don't give a fuck about it. But what was[1:46:42]   happening? People talking to you. People stopping you on the street.[1:46:46]   From other countries. Jesus Christ. I remember fucking, we did acid[1:46:50]   church. Okay. What's this about? You're dying laughing.[1:46:54]   For some reason, the way that he said, from[1:46:58]   other countries. From other countries. What were they talking about? Was that the clip?[1:47:02]   Their podcast. Cal and celeb party. Oh, wait. No, this is[1:47:06]   from other countries. That's what the note says. I got it back then.[1:47:10]   I need some more context for that. Your podcast is kicking.[1:47:14]   You know, the money was the least of it. That's right. The money, I can't[1:47:18]   I never expected to make any money. No. Of course, it's this conversation that[1:47:22]   we've never heard in comedian podcasting yet. It's where they go.[1:47:26]   I just wanted to make enough money to just have a living here. That's all[1:47:30]   I ever expected. I never expected to make a dime off comedy. I just wanted[1:47:34]   enough to pay the bills and I would have been happy. Remember that story?[1:47:38]   Cut to now. So that's what they're doing. They're doing one of these old stories.[1:47:42]   And then Brian says from other countries, which is very[1:47:46]   lame to say that again. 20,000 hits.[1:47:50]   I have users from other countries. These are things you should have been excited about[1:47:54]   in 2002. When analytics[1:47:58]   started becoming, you know, more user friendly. We would see I[1:48:02]   never, I'll never forget 2002. We checked the website.[1:48:06]   You know, my friend who ran the website at the time goes, we[1:48:10]   got people from Africa here. Oh, my God.[1:48:14]   You know, it's all bots, by the way. So, yes, Brian[1:48:18]   Khaled is still on that. Kick that 2002. People from[1:48:22]   other countries listen. So that must be good. That makes it worse.[1:48:26]   I don't count my listeners[1:48:30]   from other countries. Is anything bad? I go, oh, but they're from another[1:48:34]   country, so they can't really. Mike, I love this. Oh, they're from[1:48:38]   another country, though. So how much of that could I trust?[1:48:42]   Here. Your podcast is kicking. You know,[1:48:46]   the money was the least of it. That's right. I mean, the money, I can't[1:48:50]   last. I never expected to make any money. No. So I don't give a fuck about it. But[1:48:54]   what was happening, people talking to you, people stopping you on the street.[1:48:58]   From other countries. Jesus Christ, I remember. There it is. I[1:49:02]   love that. I think I just need you to put that on the soundboard. There's so many[1:49:06]   uses. From other countries. That's a pretty good callen.[1:49:11]   I hope. I have my new earphones tuned to Callen, though.[1:49:15]   All right. What's our next callen? You can go to 101.35 and that can be the last one for this.[1:49:19]   OK. This is Callen loves other celebrities. Or you can move on. It's up to you.[1:49:23]   Well, let's see. 101.35. It's a celebrity story.[1:49:27]   You know, Callen loves other celebs.[1:49:31]   It's big for him. You know, most of these guys are actors because they're fans of[1:49:35]   actors. You know, they're fans of the celebrity. Very scary.[1:49:39]   101.35. Wow.[1:49:43]   The mouse isn't here, is it? Yikes.[1:49:47]   101.35. Let's check that out. The new[1:49:51]   rock alternative. 101.35.[1:49:55]   Very cute. OK, here. Friends, because when you're in Hollywood and you're treated like royalty, you[1:49:59]   forget that shit and you're out of touch. Podcasting, comedy, I'm fucking[1:50:03]   hanging with people afterwards. I got to talk to you about shit you relate to. So[1:50:07]   so if I think I'm better than you, you're not going to be laughing at me because I'm going to be talking at you from here to[1:50:11]   here. And that that's the that was the X factor. I think that's the[1:50:15]   advantage that, you know, and I had this. You'll like this.[1:50:19]   I fucking go to Sylvester Stallone's[1:50:23]   daughters are comedy fans. Great gals. Jersey[1:50:27]   girls, man. Like they grew up with all the money, but their feet are on the fucking[1:50:31]   ground. And I'm sorry that that that that they're getting divorced because that's a good[1:50:35]   family. Oh, yeah. It's a great family. I'm sure if you're getting divorced, it's the best family out there.[1:50:39]   You know, forget the families that don't get divorced. They're no[1:50:43]   good. But the families, they're the best. Nine wives, 10 daughters.[1:50:47]   Sylvester Stallone, the one who's got all the daughters that look like junior[1:50:51]   stop. Oh, that's Bruce Willis. He's got all the daughters and the faces[1:50:55]   are all square like him. Yikes. You know, Bruce Willis[1:50:59]   was in 300 movies this year. Notice this.[1:51:03]   It's like a video that they would do like Scott Kramer on YouTube, somebody[1:51:07]   on YouTube. Bruce Willis is in movies. They probably did. Remember when they get[1:51:11]   a big kick out of who's that guy who did that? He was in a ton of movies.[1:51:15]   They get a big kick when a Hollywood act, Nicolas Cage.[1:51:19]   Oh, did the people love Nicolas Cage? Any Cage[1:51:23]   guys out there? Remember when that was your meme for 15 years?[1:51:27]   Nicolas Cage. How funny. Nothing funny about the[1:51:31]   man. Give him a break. All right, so let's hear this. Celebrity party[1:51:35]   Sly Stallone. Best guy in the world.[1:51:39]   Don't worry about the wife anymore, but he's great. Callen thinks that Ned from the[1:51:43]   Try Guys is the best guy in the world. Ooh, that thing brought up a lot.[1:51:47]   If you cheat on your wife, it's a national news story now.[1:51:51]   That was a good one. Where did we first see that guy, that Try Guy everyone's talking about?[1:51:55]   We saw him in an Architectural Digest video with his[1:51:59]   wife. I know very little about this story, but apparently a Try Guy[1:52:03]   some beta ass male. He cheated on his wife[1:52:07]   and they really tore him apart. You know why they hated it? Because he kept talking[1:52:11]   about how much he loved his wife. And then they found out, well, you don't really love your wife.[1:52:15]   So that made them mad. And now that's national news. And[1:52:19]   every day this guy's wife is just millions of people talking about this[1:52:23]   Try Guy stuff to him. And he is so sick[1:52:27]   of it. He probably hates this.[1:52:31]   You know, the thing is, what kind of cheating[1:52:35]   do you think that he did? Have you seen this guy? There was pics. Kiss pics.[1:52:39]   He kissed! He said, what? You're not allowed to kiss another woman and you're married?[1:52:43]   What the fuck?[1:52:47]   I just can't even imagine these people are cheating. They're getting married. They're having divorces.[1:52:51]   They're having all of these kids. Imagine having a kid, setting that one aside and then starting[1:52:55]   up a whole new kid. That's nuts. Okay, let's see. This is going to be[1:52:59]   this Hollywood party. And Brian goes[1:53:03]   crazy. The additions start pouring in with the names.[1:53:07]   I mean, talk about nominees. You're going to hear everybody that's been nominated[1:53:11]   from every award show past brought up here. And they're all just chilling[1:53:15]   with Callan. And, you know, you would always spot a great humble brag.[1:53:19]   A great humble braggist will[1:53:23]   make sure to put himself down[1:53:27]   within the brag. Okay, so if it's something about money[1:53:31]   it's about, I don't even like money.[1:53:35]   If you're bragging about money, I don't even like money. If you're bragging about, you know,[1:53:39]   these Hollywood friends, well, you were so afraid. You'll see what I mean. But a[1:53:43]   humble brag, a good humble brag always comes with a[1:53:47]   what do they call it? Like a self-deprecation thing so that you don't get too annoyed[1:53:51]   with the guy who's bragging. Never works though. Here's Brian.[1:53:55]   She's their mother, Jennifer. She's a real class[1:53:59]   actor. And Stallone, say whatever you want.[1:54:03]   That dude is a family man. Like he loves those kids.[1:54:07]   What else are people saying? Say whatever you want. He's a family man. I don't know.[1:54:11]   What are you saying about him? What are people saying about him? He's not a family man.[1:54:15]   He's a cheater. He's ripping women open two by two.[1:54:19]   I don't like that when somebody says, say whatever you want about him. He's a good guy.[1:54:23]   No, no, no. If people are saying whatever they want about somebody, believe me, there's[1:54:27]   got to be a problem there. I don't like these people who get divorced that[1:54:31]   late in their history. This Sylvester Stallone, I've never been a fan.[1:54:35]   You know that? I've never gotten a rise out of him. I've always looked[1:54:39]   at him and go, Oh God, God. In fact, he was a big[1:54:43]   problem for me growing up. I couldn't get over him[1:54:47]   and how annoyed I was with him. I mean, I couldn't concentrate in school. They had to,[1:54:51]   I got sent away. Is that the same as Arnold?[1:54:59]   I don't think I know him. That was funny. The[1:55:03]   voice you did was very funny. Has anyone ever heard something like that?[1:55:07]   See, there's this guy, Arnold Schwarzenegger, but he has this[1:55:11]   accent. So we came up with this thing. We go,[1:55:15]   I am Arnold. See,[1:55:19]   it's this impression that I came up with that I taught to her. All right, let's hear the[1:55:23]   celebrity story. I love this one. I was really impressed[1:55:27]   with him. But anyway, I get to go to his house now. I go to his fucking house[1:55:31]   to watch the Super Bowl.[1:55:35]   The Super Bowl. Him and Chris do that a lot, huh?[1:55:39]   I went to Sylvester Stallone's house to watch[1:55:43]   the Super Bowl. Why do you gotta[1:55:47]   act like that? Can't just act normal like me.[1:55:51]   Okay, let's see what he says next. I go to his house to watch[1:55:55]   the fights. I'm being invited. I walk in there. I'm with Frank[1:55:59]   Grillo. I'll fucking walk in there. Yeah, you're the two biggest[1:56:03]   losers there, by the way. You're the worst people at the party. You're filler.[1:56:07]   I can't believe these people even have parties. Aren't they worried about all their[1:56:11]   stuff getting dirty? I had a[1:56:15]   party. One guy at over at this party[1:56:19]   and this was me the whole night watching him touch his can and move it around.[1:56:23]   I was going, this is too fucking much. We gotta end this party.[1:56:27]   So I can't even imagine these celebrities that get a hundred guys over just[1:56:31]   walking around their house, snooping around, Brian Callan's at your house.[1:56:35]   Imagine what kind of party this has to be to invite Brian Callan and Frank[1:56:39]   Riffo. What did he say? Frank Grillo. Frank[1:56:43]   Grillo. Here comes Brian and Frank.[1:56:47]   Okay, well, let's hear what happened at this party.[1:56:51]   Stallone knows Frank and stuff, but now I'm in there and it's like, now I'm[1:56:55]   getting this from Stallone. Hey, Bri.[1:56:59]   I get excited now thinking about it. Anybody who's young doesn't understand this. Now watch this. So now[1:57:03]   I'm hanging out and you know Al? Well, Al Patino[1:57:07]   is right there. I'm like, yeah. Hey, how you doing?[1:57:11]   And now I'm talking to these guys and I'm[1:57:15]   eating as we're talking and Guy Fieri's in the kitchen. Guy Fieri's making the[1:57:19]   food. Flavortown's in the fucking kitchen making the food.[1:57:23]   David Blaine shows up. Look at Joey. You know, this is right. This is why[1:57:27]   Yes, watch this. Flavortown's in the fucking kitchen making[1:57:31]   the food.[1:57:35]   Papa. This was my Papa. And I hated that name[1:57:39]   too. You know, my dad would refer to my grandpa as Papa.[1:57:43]   I would tell my friends that the man's name was[1:57:47]   Grandpa. Papa to me growing up was[1:57:51]   so fucking cringing gay. Can anyone relate to this?[1:57:55]   They're like, um, Michael, your Papa is coming.[1:57:59]   I'm like, oh, that sounds awful. Even as a one year old, I[1:58:03]   knew. I like grand pa. I'll do[1:58:07]   pa. Pa pa. That's too much like pee pee. But I like[1:58:11]   grand. That's what you get for not growing up in a Christian household.[1:58:15]   Burn. Uh, yeah. I[1:58:19]   refuse to call him Papa. Um, and I[1:58:23]   hate when people use that word. It's like call him grandpa, please.[1:58:27]   Grandfather. Now that's Christian. My[1:58:31]   grandfather just passed away. I only ever had grandpa and grandma and that's it.[1:58:35]   My grandpa died is what you said. If you're walking around going, my grandfather[1:58:39]   has passed. Have you ever met these adults that are like 40[1:58:43]   years old, they're weeping about their grandparents still? Get a fucking life.[1:58:47]   If your grandpa's not dead by the time you're 17, your whole family is fucked[1:58:51]   up and on the wrong track. Is that a diss to Christian from Masterchef?[1:58:55]   No, no. What happened with him?[1:58:59]   Who's Christian? Oh, the black guy. His grandma died and he made the pudding.[1:59:03]   Yes. Yes. He's talking about this is a 50 year old man. He's like,[1:59:07]   Oh, I'm making banana pudding because[1:59:11]   my grandma used to make banana. Yeah. My grandma used to make shitty caca too.[1:59:15]   I'm not fucking whipping it up for Gordon Ramsey.[1:59:19]   Uh, it's like, get over your fucking grandma.[1:59:23]   And then you're going, maybe we just don't know. Maybe their grandma[1:59:27]   was so, you ever met these guys that can't stop fucking gushing about their[1:59:31]   grandma? It's like, there's no way your grandma was good.[1:59:35]   Right? That's how I feel. I just can't imagine. I mean, it's[1:59:39]   good for a few laughs and then you fond memories of your grandparents,[1:59:43]   but it's like these people who start weeping,[1:59:47]   remembering their grandma and it's like your[1:59:51]   grandma's not your mom who died early.[1:59:55]   You can't just be walking around as if your grandma was killed[1:59:59]   when she died. Maybe there are people who are really close to their[2:00:03]   grandparents and we just can't relate. Well, it's enough. You know, be close.[2:00:07]   Don't be close with them, please. By the time I was born, my grandparents were already[2:00:11]   basically like 85. And they were very, very racist too,[2:00:15]   right? You said that to me, I thought. I thought you said your whole family is legit[2:00:19]   racist and they're doing a lot of behind the scenes, illegal stuff. Okay.[2:00:23]   Okay. All right. Let's hear this party.[2:00:27]   David Blaine shows up, who I've known forever. He starts doing magic. He's just[2:00:31]   hanging out. I got Bill Burr smoking a fucking cigar, looking at all the[2:00:35]   fucking wine in the cigar collection. Obviously Bill's there.[2:00:39]   Oh, I'm sorry. So obviously Bill's there because of cigars. Oh, he's looking at wine[2:00:43]   and cigars. That sounds like Bill Burr to me.[2:00:47]   I don't know. I don't know[2:00:51]   about this party, man. I'm not sure. I'd like to see a tape of it.[2:00:55]   When did he say this was? Was this free? The Super Bowl. Just recently.[2:00:59]   I guess. By the way, I want Brian and Chris to know this. I need Brian[2:01:03]   and Chris to know this. No matter where you go, Brian and Chris,[2:01:07]   everyone's thinking about those rapes. The allegations,[2:01:11]   it's all they're thinking about. Like, I was looking at[2:01:15]   Chris D'Elia's wedding pictures the other day, watching him in front of those 200 people[2:01:19]   smiling, holding the kid as he walked out as his shield.[2:01:23]   It's like, everyone there knows about the rapes.[2:01:27]   The alleged, whatever that is. I call any sexual indiscretion[2:01:31]   rapes, okay? Rapes. That means you[2:01:35]   might have looked at a girl, you're treating girl, anything with a girl and you're in trouble with the world.[2:01:39]   Rapes. That's all I mean by that.[2:01:43]   But yeah, I was looking at those pictures of Chris D'Elia.[2:01:47]   It's like, how do you? They all know about the rapes. It's over. What's the point?[2:01:51]   You know? I don't know how you can be around your family when they've[2:01:55]   all read the article after article after article[2:01:59]   and you know they're seeing each one, right? Because it's in their algorithm as a[2:02:03]   family member. It's gotta be. So, I just don't[2:02:07]   know. To me, it doesn't seem worth it to have a wedding if you've been accused[2:02:11]   of rapes in the papers. Or not rapes, or whatever those things are.[2:02:15]   Easier to say rapes. It's the shortest version. Okay, back to[2:02:19]   the Hollywood story and then I think we're going to try Bodega[2:02:23]   Cat afterwards. So, grab a glass. Fucking wine in the cigar[2:02:27]   collection. Obviously, Bill's there. Oh, I'm sorry. Have you[2:02:31]   met Sugar Ray Leonard? You met, because he's in here with Michael[2:02:35]   Strahan and they're just fucking hanging out. I mean, it's just. Oh, yeah, yeah. Wait, wait, wait.[2:02:39]   We were paused on the papa part though, right? Oh, yeah, his smile.[2:02:43]   Smoking a fucking cigar, looking at all the fucking wine in the cigar[2:02:47]   collection. This is what he enjoys the most.[2:02:51]   So, he's hearing this story and he's hearing about all the[2:02:55]   celebs that were there and when he thinks about that, he does this.[2:03:03]   Take off your sunglasses. No, no, no, no, no. Just lift them up to your[2:03:07]   forehead. No, no, no, no.[2:03:11]   And it's this.[2:03:15]   It's almost like he's paused. He's forgotten.[2:03:19]   He's on this fantastical time out where he's really[2:03:23]   thinking about how wonderful that would feel to him to be[2:03:27]   around his heroes like that. Yikes, man. That's the kind[2:03:31]   of stuff I like. Okay, let's finish up this stupid Hollywood story and get to[2:03:35]   that Bodega Cat. Obviously, Bill's there. Then, now. Oh, I'm sorry. Have you[2:03:39]   met Sugar Ray Leonard? Because he's in here with[2:03:43]   Michael Strahan and they're just fucking hanging out. I mean, it's just[2:03:47]   legend fucking central. It's legend central.[2:03:51]   That's just the beginning of it all and[2:03:55]   I'm just sitting there fucking talking to the world and then I[2:03:59]   hear all this riff raff. Don't mess around with this riff raff.[2:04:03]   I go, well, there he is. That's Arnold Schwarzenegger who's[2:04:07]   now here at the party and it's just a little[2:04:11]   get to. Joey's reaction to Arnold. Let's see this Arnold[2:04:15]   Schwarzenegger, Joey. I look up and I go, well, there he is.[2:04:19]   That's Arnold Schwarzenegger who's now here.[2:04:27]   If you want to keep Joey's attention, talk about celebrities.[2:04:31]   It's like a fruity thing to be into celebrities. I don't like these[2:04:35]   older guys where it's like they've got a big secret celebrity fascination.[2:04:39]   They're obsessed with these Hollywood characters. Yikes. Especially actors.[2:04:43]   You know, you really shouldn't be a fan of an actor.[2:04:47]   Director? Sure. Musician? Sure.[2:04:51]   But an actor? You really have no business being a fan of an actor.[2:04:55]   You could enjoy an actor. I don't think you should really be.[2:04:59]   Arnold? No, maybe. I mean, I am a[2:05:03]   big Arnold fan. I loved that face. Thank you for letting me know, Joey.[2:05:07]   Do you? Oh, I know.[2:05:11]   Now I know. Okay.[2:05:15]   I go, well, there he is. That's Arnold Schwarzenegger who's now here at the party.[2:05:19]   I'm sorry that's what you do when you don't give a shit and you're not listening at all.[2:05:23]   I've done that move. He heard Arnold and he clicked back in maybe?[2:05:27]   This is me talking to Jules' family.[2:05:31]   Ah, yes.[2:05:35]   Ten minutes in you go, I haven't said a word, but oh.[2:05:39]   So he could be doing that too.[2:05:43]   I like to think this is his happy place. This warms[2:05:47]   videos.[2:05:51]   It's a little get together of Legends and[2:05:55]   Invisible Boy over here.[2:05:59]   That's what you do during the humble brag, not this, but you do the invisible[2:06:03]   boy over here. You got to like make yourself, and I'm the invisible[2:06:07]   boy. You know, everybody at the party hates me.[2:06:11]   Okay. Well, he's still got the story. Then why didn't you leave?[2:06:15]   Why would you make their party bad for them? You know,[2:06:19]   if somebody was having a wild Hollywood party and I thought of myself as invisible[2:06:23]   boy, well, I'd be there and I'd be in the bathroom. Also, is this a man[2:06:27]   only sports event? What's that? I mean, there's only[2:06:31]   guys at this whole party. Oh yeah. I haven't heard of any chicks. All he's[2:06:35]   doing is talking about the cool action stars that showed up at the party and the boxers[2:06:39]   and Guy Fieri. Maybe this was a men's. Yeah. Wow. Fucking[2:06:43]   weird. One of those underground Hollywood men's unions.[2:06:47]   And invisible boy over here. And under,[2:06:51]   just behind my face, I'm going, but I'm trying to be cool.[2:06:55]   I'm trying to have a conversation. It was so fucking good. And then at one point I'm[2:06:59]   standing there and fucking it's Pacino, Stallone,[2:07:03]   Schwarzenegger, and I don't know, add somebody else. Sugar Ray.[2:07:07]   I don't even know if you... I don't know. Add somebody else. No, you can't do that. It's not[2:07:11]   how stories work. You can't just add. So you probably added all these guys.[2:07:15]   You know, what kind of party was this really? It was probably[2:07:19]   Arnold Schwarzenegger's son, Patrick. Exactly.[2:07:23]   And one other celebrity. Exactly. That's how these things happen. He is no[2:07:27]   different than Denny. He's got the same kind of system[2:07:31]   upstairs as Denny. Yes. Callen is like getting[2:07:35]   big mic level to me now. I can just like sit there and stare at him.[2:07:39]   Callen is one of the more, yeah, there's really something[2:07:43]   about him that really excites us at this particular moment.[2:07:47]   It was there, but it doesn't matter. And they're all talking and me and[2:07:51]   me. And I'm darting in with my little, I just want to have a conversation.[2:07:55]   I'm darting in with my useless little fucking things. I'm trying to, you know,[2:07:59]   you ever see a bird dog, you know, and fucking Bill Burr walks[2:08:03]   by and he goes, you've been here for over an hour. Get over it already.[2:08:11]   And you can see Joey Diaz is tiring for God's sakes. It's been about[2:08:15]   47 minutes of having to sit up.[2:08:19]   I like when somebody's not listening. See, I don't think Joey's listening anymore[2:08:23]   because he did this whole Bill Burr thing. And then Bill Burr came up to me and said,[2:08:27]   you've been here for an hour. And he's either doing wine or[2:08:31]   a cigar. Then Brian decides it is a cigar. Maybe double fisting.[2:08:35]   He's got the stem here and a cigar there. You've been here for an hour.[2:08:39]   And then Joey kind of[2:08:43]   didn't realize that's kind of the end of the story. He wasn't really listening. So he just does one of these.[2:08:47]   Watch[2:08:51]   his face. Oh, there it is. Watch this.[2:08:55]   You see a bird dog, you know, and fucking Bill Burr walks by and he goes, you've been here[2:08:59]   for over an hour. Get over it already.[2:09:03]   But dude, I'm like, I'm not.[2:09:07]   I love that.[2:09:11]   He actually kind of has like newborn babies.[2:09:15]   He has a baby smile for the first time in his life. It's kind of like that.[2:09:19]   I'd have a baby if it came out like that. Well, he does. He also has the same haircut[2:09:23]   as a baby after it comes out of the pushers.[2:09:27]   That is what my hair looked like when I was born. I had a full head of black hair.[2:09:31]   Gray hair. Stringy gray hair covered in placenta.[2:09:35]   It was black. Disgusting. Stop gelling your hair. You look like one of the Klein's.[2:09:39]   Not over it. I'm not getting over it. This was royalty.[2:09:43]   But those days, those days of the movie star, the way we grew up[2:09:47]   like we were talking about the gods, those days were over now, bro.[2:09:51]   Because the veil's been lifted. Because now with the internet and new media[2:09:55]   you can't create that persona.[2:09:59]   It's too atomized.[2:10:03]   What the hell is an atomic?[2:10:07]   What? Atomized. This is in a science book.[2:10:11]   What the fuck?[2:10:15]   That's a very babyish look on his face as well. He might be Benjamin[2:10:19]   Buttoning. Atomized? What the fuck?[2:10:23]   I love Joey Dias. See him live.[2:10:27]   As Kill Tony would say, I can't tell if you're two or fifty-two.[2:10:31]   One of Tony's famous jokes. You could be two or fifty-two.[2:10:35]   Yeah, I remember that one. He says a version of that like literally every show.[2:10:39]   Is anybody going to get on Tony for using the same five jokes every single episode?[2:10:43]   Yikes. Okay, let's see. Is that it for this little story here?[2:10:47]   Very nice. I loved it. Throw in a little song for me.[2:10:51]   We'll take a puffaroo. And then we'll get ready for our big taste test.[2:10:55]   Finally, it's here. The Bodega Cat.[2:10:59]   Super excited about this.[2:11:03]   Hell yeah. You can't see me.[2:11:07]   Get your glasses out.[2:11:11]   Thanks.[2:11:15]   Bodega Cat Whiskey. It's rye whiskey. Now remember when Mark was[2:11:19]   promoting this, he didn't seem to know what rye even was. He didn't really[2:11:23]   think like rye or bourbon or that kind of stuff really mattered. That's kind of just like[2:11:27]   an add-on. You know. So let's play[2:11:31]   you this Bodega Cat commercial here first. Let's see what their[2:11:35]   promises are. And then I'll go over the bottle. We'll do a drink together.[2:11:39]   I'm going to do it just the way Rogan did it first. And I think he[2:11:43]   did it on the rocks, right Jules? Yes.[2:11:47]   And do we have any rocks? No, unfortunately. We don't have any rocks.[2:11:51]   We have no ice in the house. Can I do it with a little bit of water?[2:11:55]   To replicate the rocks? Sure.[2:11:59]   Okay, we'll do it both ways. We're going to do it neat. We're going to do it cut with a little bit of water.[2:12:03]   Then we're going to do it mixed with one of my favorite mixers on the[2:12:07]   market. And I think you're going to be excited when you see this one. Okay, let's see this[2:12:11]   Bodega Cat ad. And here are the promises. Again[2:12:15]   it's Bodega Catspirits.com is the website[2:12:19]   if you want to get this beautiful premium $60 bottle of rye[2:12:23]   whiskey. And here are the founders. Yep, Mark Norman[2:12:27]   and Sam Murrell. And again[2:12:31]   Mark somewhat knows how to wear a[2:12:35]   t-shirt. The Sam Murrell and Joe List for the life of them cannot[2:12:39]   pick out a t-shirt that works. They just so don't know[2:12:43]   how to wear t-shirts or pants. Alright, let's see this[2:12:47]   little promise here. Mark looking very nervous.[2:12:51]   Extremely nervous. Is he even legally involved in[2:12:55]   the contract to get a cut of this whiskey? Or did he forget?[2:12:59]   And Sam Murrell, you know, making some money[2:13:03]   here. Put aside, that one day he could get his own[2:13:07]   apartment without roommates. Can you believe it? These people all still have six[2:13:11]   roommates in New York City. Alright, let's hear the promises.[2:13:15]   Very excited about this. Bodega Cat.[2:13:19]   Hey guys. Great news. It's available.[2:13:23]   Bodega Catspirits.com. That's interesting. You're promoted. I've never seen[2:13:27]   somebody promote. Maybe this is their thing. Maybe that's funny. They promoted the bottle.[2:13:31]   There's like two sips left in their bottle. It's empty.[2:13:35]   Who promotes an empty? And this is their first ad[2:13:39]   for it. This was the first ad. This was the reveal. So we didn't even know what color[2:13:43]   liquid. I've never seen somebody promote. I mean think about how stupid that might be.[2:13:47]   To promote an empty drink. You know the last[2:13:51]   time I was this fucking pissed from a drink promotion[2:13:55]   was when I finally brought home a case of[2:13:59]   Prime Moon. Logan Paul's[2:14:03]   Prime of course. I've really been drinking it like[2:14:07]   crazy. Every time I'm at Target I think it's the limited availability of it[2:14:11]   that really gets me at the Target by[2:14:15]   our house. It's the wildest thing you could cut to me. It's the wildest thing you've ever seen.[2:14:19]   So Target Grocery. Please don't shop there[2:14:23]   by the way. There's nothing safe. Even you buy[2:14:27]   Oreos from Target Grocery. I swear they're worse than[2:14:31]   the Oreos elsewhere. There's something about Target Grocery.[2:14:35]   Do not buy the meats there. There's a reason the fillets are[2:14:39]   $8.99 and they look perfect. Do not buy[2:14:43]   Target any groceries. I think Target Groceries are kind of expensive and[2:14:47]   not good. Where do you think this from? They're not[2:14:51]   expensive. The aisles? No. They're very affordable.[2:14:55]   Not super expensive but more expensive than other stores of the same[2:14:59]   quality. I'm not sure. I don't compare prices anymore.[2:15:03]   So if you go to Target and try this at your[2:15:07]   Target. You walk in there all look the same. Right there. Target Grocery. Go all[2:15:11]   the way to the end. Pass every aisle. Go to the last available aisle[2:15:15]   of grocery. And in this aisle, at the end[2:15:19]   of the aisle. You know the aisle ender. What do they call that thing?[2:15:23]   Is just a bunch of loose mixed[2:15:27]   drinks of all different sorts like this.[2:15:31]   And sometimes within this little section of mixed[2:15:35]   one offs you'll find a Prime.[2:15:39]   That's really the only way I've found Prime outside of going to GNC which I don't like[2:15:43]   to go to. I do not like the vitamin shop by the way.[2:15:47]   You ever been in there? Jules you ever been in the vitamin shop? Yeah.[2:15:51]   Wow. Wow. You ever see any other[2:15:55]   customers in there wondering how this place stays open? Smells weird.[2:15:59]   I got this new Prime Moon flavor and[2:16:03]   in the ad it's this like white bottle of Prime and Logan's on the moon[2:16:07]   with Prime and it says Prime Moon. A flavor so[2:16:11]   so good we can't even describe it to you. Which is what everybody's doing by the way.[2:16:15]   Now they're coming out with flavorlessly named[2:16:19]   beverages. I like that. I fall for it every time. I do fall for it every time.[2:16:23]   It's a great marketing move because if you came out let's say with Prime[2:16:27]   Raspberry. Well then you get a hundred people going oh I don't like Raspberry[2:16:31]   I already know I don't like Raspberry. So I'm not going to try Prime[2:16:35]   Raspberry. I've seen Coca Cola do this too. Coca Cola[2:16:39]   Dreamland. Coca Cola the Marshmallow[2:16:43]   Starlight. Starlight. What's another one? And you go what[2:16:47]   flavor is this? And the flavor is Starlight or[2:16:51]   Dreamland. Dreamland. Marshmallow and the[2:16:55]   Marshmallow one is not Marshmallow flavored. It's Marshmallow[2:16:59]   the DJ and it is a Berry[2:17:03]   Raspberry and Berry flavored Coke. Really?[2:17:07]   I thought I tasted some Marshmallow in there. There is no Marshmallow flavor. It[2:17:11]   has nothing to do with it. Just Raspberry. That's all in your head because[2:17:15]   they painted the can white. So moon was like this. Moon was all[2:17:19]   white in the ad. I bring it home. It's Berry. It's[2:17:23]   purple. The drink was purple. So always show[2:17:27]   the liquid. Between Prime and Bodega Cat here I'm feeling a little[2:17:31]   trude. You zoomed in secretly? Look at that. Did I secretly do that? I did not mean to[2:17:35]   do that. You know I got a lot of complaint emails about zooming into his crotch.[2:17:39]   There's a lot of new listeners. They don't understand why that would even be on a show.[2:17:43]   To do that. To zoom into his crotch for the[2:17:47]   opening of the show. For an hour. Okay.[2:17:51]   Then don't understand. He's got his hands in his pocket sitting down.[2:17:55]   Alright. Let's hear about Bodega Cat then we're going to do a taste test. I hope you[2:17:59]   got Bodega Cat home to try along with me. Guys[2:18:03]   great news. It's available. BodegaCatspirits.com[2:18:07]   You can pre-order it now. It should ship in September. If that link is not[2:18:11]   working for you for whatever reason follow the link in the[2:18:15]   YouTube right now right? It should be there? Look how he's sitting.[2:18:19]   I mean really I don't even know what kind of sitting this is. Imagine sitting that all the way[2:18:23]   at the edge of the frame. It looks like how you sit when you're in like mega[2:18:27]   pain. Yes. I mean I just can't imagine[2:18:31]   sitting like that in front of anybody.[2:18:35]   That is a terrible look. And he has his arm flat on the seat but not in a way that's like[2:18:39]   holding him up in a comfortable way. Oh I just hate this and it's like where is this furniture[2:18:43]   from every day? They're in front of a new corner with all this wacky furniture.[2:18:47]   Okay let's see. Oh yeah. So follow that link[2:18:51]   if this one's not working for whatever reason it should work. If it doesn't follow[2:18:55]   What kind of commercial is this? Follow the link. It should work. This is our official our first[2:18:59]   commercial. The link should work. If it doesn't here's a[2:19:03]   backup link. That's nuts. That link[2:19:07]   Bodega Cat is available. It is the best whiskey in the game[2:19:11]   right now. You can't say that. Even the best whiskey companies have never[2:19:15]   dared say anything like that in their lives. It is the best whiskey[2:19:19]   in the game right now. Oh we're gonna find out. Who knows whiskey[2:19:23]   more than me. I can't believe[2:19:27]   he actually said that. The best whiskey in the game. See they don't even know[2:19:31]   from rye, from bourbon, from the other ones. Stippleton[2:19:35]   What's another one? You've got rye, bourbon, and then[2:19:39]   something called Stippleton. Oh Irish?[2:19:43]   I like how that's the only one that's country.[2:19:47]   Scotch? Does that count? Or is that a dumb thing?[2:19:51]   I used to drink Irish whiskey. I used to drink Jameson. That was the whiskey[2:19:55]   I drank. I didn't even know there was a difference. I thought all whiskey was the same just like them.[2:19:59]   Of course I wasn't selling it. I was only about six years old when I thought[2:20:03]   that at seven I figured it all out. So this is kind of[2:20:07]   weird that you're selling a whiskey. It's the best whiskey. You can't even say that. When you're selling rye[2:20:11]   you can't say it's the best whiskey out of all the whiskeys. Maybe out of all the ryes.[2:20:15]   So follow that link if this one's not working for whatever reason. It should[2:20:19]   work. If it doesn't, follow that link. Bodega Cat is available. It[2:20:23]   is the best whiskey in the game right now. It's so good. It's selling like[2:20:27]   hotcakes. The comments are flooding in. People love it. It tastes... It hasn't been[2:20:31]   released. You said it's coming out in September in this ad.[2:20:35]   How are these people tasting it in the comments?[2:20:39]   And when you said it was the best whiskey in the game, you immediately looked at Mark like[2:20:43]   it's safe to say. Okay, let's see.[2:20:47]   Caribou Crossing? Great. Make a drink. What's Caribou Crossing?[2:20:51]   Isn't that an old whiskey? I don't like that. Caribou[2:20:55]   She's from Canada. Everything's fucking caribou to her. You know, I used to have a[2:20:59]   real problem with caribou coffee. A real[2:21:03]   problem. I got a lot of problems with coffee chains, by the way. Caribou was a[2:21:07]   big one. I'm glad to see they're out of business. I hope the people who used to work there[2:21:11]   are struggling. Okay. Let's hear their final plea[2:21:15]   and then we'll get into this bodega, Cat. Make a cocktail. Drink it straight[2:21:19]   on ice. Whatever you like. Drink it gay. Who knows? But[2:21:23]   it's a hell of a ride. That worried Sam. Look, that worried Sam[2:21:27]   as he sits off stage mouthing the words like that worried stage[2:21:31]   bomb. He looks like the stonks guy right now. Yeah, the[2:21:35]   little drawing there. Yeah, he's about as plain as a little fucking stick figure,[2:21:39]   ain't he? Alright. Like, drink it gay. Who knows? But[2:21:43]   be careful with the gay. I'm trying to be very mainstream. Be[2:21:47]   careful. Is that okay? Is that cancel culture gonna come from? He probably[2:21:51]   stayed up all night thinking cancel culture was gonna come for him because Mark said gay.[2:21:55]   That's the kind of worry, the deep, deep, deep worry these guys[2:21:59]   have. It's a hell of a ride and you gotta get[2:22:03]   on board. Have a drink. What the fuck? Tilt the cold one and listen[2:22:07]   up. Bodega Cat. I'm not[2:22:11]   proud of you for coming out with this whiskey, Sam, if that's what you're looking at me for. Alright, let's put on some nice[2:22:15]   music. You got some nice dinner music there for me or something like that? I like[2:22:19]   dinner music. Just Google that on Spotify and we'll get right into it. You can cut[2:22:23]   to me and here's the big taste test. We're gonna do it neat[2:22:27]   first. And I'll tell ya, I'm on a lot[2:22:31]   of medication that makes me extremely nauseous[2:22:35]   when I mix it with alcohol. This could be very bad.[2:22:39]   I'm already very, very nauseated. That's beautiful.[2:22:43]   I like that. So imagine it's hurricane night.[2:22:47]   This is almost like a Christmas vibe. But you know, it's a[2:22:51]   hurricane vibe and hopefully you're at home with me. We're all kind of home. We have to[2:22:55]   be home, right? Cause it's raining. And that's what I[2:22:59]   love. I love when we have to be home together. This reminds me[2:23:03]   of one of my favorite times of the year. And that's the lockdowns.[2:23:07]   When we have to be home. Spend some time, quality time[2:23:11]   with family when you have to be home. And here at Red Bar it's no different. Merry Christmas[2:23:15]   and Stripe-O-Deck-A-Cat.[2:23:19]   I'll describe[2:23:23]   the packaging in song.[2:23:27]   Just kidding. Very nice. Okay, so it's[2:23:31]   a little taped up here. But they did a good job. I mean, the packaging is legit here.[2:23:35]   I'll say that. It's not bad. It's much better than I thought it would be, okay?[2:23:39]   So we'll give them that. That way you know I'm so fair.[2:23:43]   Oh, I want to make something perfect. I'm not going to judge this fair.[2:23:47]   If it's good, I'm telling the world how bad it was.[2:23:51]   Just kidding. I wouldn't do that. You gotta keep it fair. I know this is[2:23:55]   going to be bad. People know you're fair. You drink prime. Yeah, that's true.[2:23:59]   That really does show how fair I am. And you know what? This could go one of two ways.[2:24:03]   If this stuff's really bad, like Joe Rogan said it[2:24:07]   was, well how great is that, right? If it's really bad, then we celebrate. Mark[2:24:11]   and Sam put out a bad whiskey. Happy birthday.[2:24:15]   Oh yeah, keep that thing on a loop for me there if you can. Or another[2:24:19]   one if it wants to come on with another one. But here's the other thing. And this is why it's so great.[2:24:23]   Always, you know, always on this show, you always got to have two outcomes.[2:24:27]   And make sure those outcomes work for you. You know, you don't want to[2:24:31]   have, never set yourself up to have an outcome that isn't something[2:24:35]   you would want to celebrate. So I've got another outcome. Let's say it's good, right?[2:24:39]   Let's say I drink it, it's good. Oh, joke's on me, right? Nope. That means[2:24:43]   Joe Rogan don't know nothing.[2:24:47]   That means Joe Rogan don't know about whiskey, doesn't know about[2:24:51]   anything, and uh oh, what was going on with that Buffalo Trace?[2:24:55]   Okay, so let's crack this thing open. Here we are.[2:24:59]   Oodega Cat. Oodega Cat. Nice sticker. I hate to even ruin it. Maybe I'll use one of my knives.[2:25:03]   Digging through[2:25:07]   my drawer for my little knick knacks.[2:25:11]   Yeah. Okay, I[2:25:15]   don't want to ruin that sticker because it's collectible. I collect stuff like this from my Fools[2:25:19]   Museum. I have artifacts from all over time[2:25:23]   and all over this country given to me[2:25:27]   from Fools. Alright, let's do that pop. I like this.[2:25:31]   It did the pop test.[2:25:35]   Mmm. It smells delicious, Jules.[2:25:39]   Mmm. Yeah. Okay.[2:25:43]   Bodega Cat whiskey straight rye whiskey 90 proof,[2:25:47]   45% alcohol rye volume. Bodega Cat rye whiskey is 95%[2:25:51]   rye and five malted barley mash bill. You know what[2:25:55]   that is? No. Sounds like one of Sam Tripoli's hats.[2:25:59]   It's distilled in Indiana. Yummy.[2:26:03]   And it's meant to be an approachable, minimally[2:26:07]   cut pour fill of caramel vanilla and[2:26:11]   the bump in proof, a nice kick of rye spice.[2:26:15]   Each bottle is made special and is perfect[2:26:19]   for any occasion. Tough day, a good hang,[2:26:23]   or maybe you're just craving the perfect pour.[2:26:27]   Sip it straight around the rocks or, hey, take it however you want.[2:26:31]   You've earned it. Thank you, Sam. Thank you, Mark. Thank you, brother[2:26:35]   Mark. Thank you, Sam. And here's the first taste. I gotta say, I'm already[2:26:39]   extremely nauseous. Really? Dinner music, please.[2:26:43]   Oh, thank you. I like that. That really, really[2:26:47]   chills me out. Alright, here we go. It's our first taste. Bodega Cat whiskey.[2:26:51]   One sip.[2:26:57]   Give me a second.[2:27:09]   We've got some great news.[2:27:13]   Give me a second. Ooh, this is holidaying[2:27:17]   me up. This might be the perfect fucking pour it on.[2:27:21]   Mark, you've done it again. And Sam,[2:27:25]   you handsome bastard. How does he do it?[2:27:29]   Good looks, good lines, and a good pour.[2:27:41]   Okay, so I've got some great news. Joe didn't like it because it was too[2:27:45]   alcohol-y for him, that's all. So Joe[2:27:49]   was just being a fucking bitch at the beginning of his show. See, this is[2:27:53]   how Joe works. There's a lot of guys like this where, I'm sorry, where[2:27:57]   they, you know, the first shot of the day[2:28:01]   isn't like the fifth shot of the night after[2:28:05]   you've slowly started drinking, like, mixed drinks or beers or something, gotten in[2:28:09]   the mood, right? You know, you're at the bar, you're talking. It's a lot different. Like,[2:28:13]   Jules, if I sat you down at home 10 a.m. and just[2:28:17]   gave you this and drank it, you're first, you would probably go. So that's what happened to Joe.[2:28:21]   Like, Kumiya, when Kumiya took a shot, remember that? Kumiya took[2:28:25]   a shot of whiskey and he went, oh! It's like, keep[2:28:29]   that to yourself, bro. I actually think there was a long stretch[2:28:33]   where you didn't drink on the show at all, and then we saw[2:28:37]   Kumiya take that shot, and then you sent me to the corner store, which took eight minutes,[2:28:41]   and got the bottle. That is exactly how liquor was brought back[2:28:45]   in the red bar, and that changed everything. You know, Kumiya has been a big inspiration for[2:28:49]   me and the steel toe.[2:28:53]   But yes, remember, we didn't drink on the show for many years,[2:28:57]   and then Kumiya took a shot. I couldn't believe how much of a pussy he was bringing about the shot that[2:29:01]   I made you run to the liquor store. Eight minutes. And then you've never done a show without[2:29:05]   whiskey since? I haven't had it without whiskey since, and[2:29:09]   listen, I get it. It's spicy, but you're not supposed to. I mean, the way[2:29:13]   Joe, maybe we should play that clip again. Do we have that separated? I think it was right at the beginning.[2:29:17]   Send that over to me, because I just can't[2:29:21]   believe it. Okay, let's do this, though. Let's try it with a little water[2:29:25]   now, you know, to make it seem like it's on the rocks.[2:29:29]   How could you get sick from this? They said it's perfect.[2:29:33]   Nothing about getting sick on the back of this bottle here. Government warning,[2:29:37]   nothing there, though. Aged for a minimum of two years.[2:29:41]   Let's try it on the water here.[2:29:45]   Let's see how that works. Don't get sick. Don't get sick. Don't worry,[2:29:49]   because I've got a beautiful drive planned for later tonight.[2:29:53]   So, there's no getting sick. Here we go.[2:30:01]   It's good! Did you hear that, Jules?[2:30:05]   We're celebrating. It's good. Dinner music, baby.[2:30:09]   I can't hate on it, but we do have one more test. One more test. One more test. The mixed[2:30:13]   drink test, right? You ready for that? Here we go.[2:30:17]   But I did want to get rid of this.[2:30:21]   We have another container. I can pour that in. You know, we'll use the candle here.[2:30:29]   Perfect. Perfect. Okay, let's do a little mixer. And this came to me. Do you remember who[2:30:33]   sent us this case just the other day? Oh, yes, I do. Grab his name[2:30:37]   because somebody sent me a case. His name? Of this fine[2:30:41]   beverage. Brad Brown. Brad Brown. Thank you, Brad Brown.[2:30:45]   He sent me a whole case there. $83[2:30:49]   for this case. And you'll see what I got here. So, I'm going to do[2:30:53]   a little mixed drink. Play bartender here tonight, okay?[2:30:57]   So, here is the bodega cat. I'm going to do a nice shot.[2:31:01]   A little shot there. And then, we're going to see how it works[2:31:05]   as a mixed drink. And I thought the perfect drink. And this was just sent to us. You know what? This is[2:31:09]   a little warm, but I think it'll work. It is[2:31:13]   CBD 25 milligram[2:31:17]   limited edition The Flaming Joe. Cut to that close-up kill clip.[2:31:21]   Look at that. We finally have it. We've never[2:31:25]   tried this yet, though, right? I don't think so. We haven't tasted it. So, I've been dying. What a perfect[2:31:29]   occasion. We have Joe's official[2:31:33]   beverage here. It's a CBD beverage. $83[2:31:37]   for the case. Like, 12 bottles of this.[2:31:41]   But it is CBD. It's gas station CBD.[2:31:45]   So, it's probably a good 20 milligrams,[2:31:49]   25 milligrams of CBD. It's not going to do anything for anybody. You need to drink about[2:31:53]   100 of these to feel those effects. Okay, let's do it. Let's mix[2:31:57]   it up. Wait, should I taste it? Let's taste[2:32:01]   it plain first. Oh, okay. Well, Joe's drink. We haven't tasted this. Here we go.[2:32:05]   Bottoms up. Experience this one. A kind[2:32:09]   spicy pineapple straight out of the mind[2:32:13]   of Joe Rogan. What a world.[2:32:17]   What a world where my fools all have drinks. You know,[2:32:21]   never did I thought I'd be drinking Logan Paul's Prime,[2:32:25]   Joe Rogan's Kill Cliff, Mark and Sam's Bodega[2:32:29]   Cat. I love the world I'm in. Let's taste.[2:32:35]   Oh, that's bad. Very bad.[2:32:39]   Really bad. Really bad. And we drink a lot of these[2:32:43]   crappy drinks too. This one's bad. You would have liked it very chemically. The guy who[2:32:47]   sent it, Brad, in the chat said, that's me. I'm the one that sent you guys the case.[2:32:51]   Hey, Brad Brown. Let me tell you that this is the most disgusting flavor[2:32:55]   and mixing it with whiskey will be rough. Okay, well that's[2:32:59]   what we're going to do right now. Kill Cliff, I love the logo. What does that logo reminisce enough?[2:33:03]   That Kill Cliff logo. Look at that, Jules. Cut to the close up there so people could see. What does that[2:33:07]   remind me of? Maybe you can tell here. I don't know the Calabasas logo.[2:33:11]   It could be that, but there's this line, what's particularly alarming for me[2:33:15]   is this line that goes across the top. I've totally seen that before.[2:33:19]   If you let us know where you've seen that logo,[2:33:23]   let us know. You'll win a few hundred dollars. Alright, cut to me here. We'll pour this in.[2:33:27]   Ooh, you see the coloring of that?[2:33:31]   Ooh, beautiful, beautiful.[2:33:35]   Not bad for texting. Okay, let's move that away.[2:33:39]   Give it a little stir with what I like to call Snoop Dogg's fingernail.[2:33:43]   This little device. You ever see this? Did you wash that? Show this. It doesn't need to be washed.[2:33:47]   This is Snoop Dogg's fingernail.[2:33:51]   And we're going to use that to mix the drink. Did you wash it?[2:33:55]   Okay, there we go. I don't wash anything. I use Windex wipes[2:33:59]   on everything now. Instead of doing it, she'll be like, can you do the dishes?[2:34:03]   And I'm like, yeah, yeah, I'll do them. And then when she's not looking, I just wash[2:34:07]   every cup. It takes a lot longer with Windex wipes, and I put them[2:34:11]   right back into the cabinet. It's much easier to just press a button[2:34:15]   and let it go, but I'm a Windex wipe guy. Alright, cheers[2:34:19]   everybody. This is the official taste test, the Kill Cliff mixed with the[2:34:23]   Boudega cat. Cheers, and welcome to the times of your life.[2:34:29]   I'm doing my happy dance.[2:34:37]   I loved it.[2:34:41]   I loved it. It's good.[2:34:45]   I give it a 10.[2:34:49]   I give it a 10. Turned[2:34:53]   your mouth all pink and gay looking. Revealing books with Ben.[2:34:57]   I loved it. No, there's nothing I can say. I can't even make fun of it. It's all good.[2:35:01]   It's all the best stuff I've ever had. Seriously, it's the best beverage I've[2:35:05]   ever had. Okay, we're going to take a break. We'll be right back with much more. Don't go[2:35:09]   anywhere. It's the show that does it all.[2:35:13]   The red bar, the big show. We'll see you guys in a bit.[2:35:17]   Be recognized. Please check and try again.[2:35:47]   Stay up.[2:35:51]   Stay up.[2:35:55]   Sitting in my yard, thinking to myself if life's like this[2:35:59]   I'll take the easy route up. Calm down, trap. Step out the house and the bus[2:36:03]   flying high, you're still stuck on the couch. Life in a box, start watching TV.[2:36:07]   Hey, can you bring me a Windex wipe? I got some stickiness[2:36:11]   on my hands. Paper that is printed on, please. Material things.[2:36:15]   Nice house and a mortgage for your kids. You want a whole life that's affordable[2:36:19]   living. Spend your salary renovating your kitchen.[2:36:23]   Just can't get no sleep. Faithless, they just don't believe.[2:36:27]   We stay up early. And I just can't[2:36:31]   get no sleep. Faithless, they just don't[2:36:35]   believe. We stay up with me. We stay up[2:36:39]   with me. We stay up with me. We stay[2:36:43]   up with me. We stay up with me.[2:36:47]   We stay up with me. We stay up with me.[2:36:51]   We stay up with me. We stay up with me.[2:36:55]   We stay up with me.[2:37:03]   We stay up with me.[2:37:07]   I'm not ready to run[2:37:09]   I'm not ready to lose[2:37:11]   I'm not ready to lose[2:37:13]   It's demon time[2:37:37]   I just caught the chat, somebody said, might drop a tab or two[2:37:51]   That's good, yeah we recommend that, do acid right now[2:37:55]   Hanging up on the floor again[2:38:04]   Overdosing chewing gum[2:38:07]   Shouting dance for your braille[2:38:10]   Crushing the backum of a snail[2:38:13]   And even sweet and sour is odd[2:38:17]   Clutching and go touching claws[2:38:20]   We're seeding barbers going bald[2:38:24]   But I just sit there and I just nod and just nod and just nod and just nod[2:38:29]   I'm in the train[2:38:34]   Breakdown constantly[2:38:41]   In recovery hanging up on the floor again[2:38:45]   Ignore the five second rule[2:38:49]   Twins are just so used[2:38:52]   Occur from a whisper[2:38:54]   Psycho muscle, psycho muscle, psycho muscle, psycho muscle[2:39:00]   I'm in the train[2:39:06]   Breakdown constantly[2:39:13]   In recovery[2:39:18]   In recovery[2:39:21]   Red bar glitter stickers[2:39:24]   Coming to a bag near you, pretty cool huh?[2:39:28]   50 cents a piece kiddo[2:39:31]   That's a high sticker price[2:39:34]   Welcome to the bar, welcome to the bar, welcome to the bar[2:39:37]   Red bar, red bar[2:39:39]   Anybody ready for some Big Mike? Let's hear it![2:39:44]   Big Mike come on down, come on down[2:39:48]   Box, box, box, box, box, box, box, box, box[2:39:52]   Charlemagne, oh god, that's another one I don't like, like 50 cent, oh wait wait wait[2:39:58]   I hid behind the surreal[2:40:01]   I've been too much[2:40:06]   How you getting on?[2:40:08]   I don't think that bodega cat has anything in it, let's do a shot![2:40:15]   Have one![2:40:19]   Wednesday, Wednesday, stay home from school tomorrow[2:40:24]   Call in sick to work, I don't think any of our listeners have jobs to be honest[2:40:28]   But if you do, oh please[2:40:31]   These are great guys, you've got to give them some credit[2:40:34]   I didn't say they weren't great, I said they were great, they don't have jobs[2:40:38]   If you have a job, believe me that's not cool[2:40:41]   Okay, here, this is drink number four, have one with us[2:40:58]   Who is this music, Jules?[2:41:00]   What's this song?[2:41:02]   Me, it's called Post, sorry I was reading the chat, it's called Post Ryan by Gila Band[2:41:08]   You don't sound too confident with that name[2:41:11]   You're putting me on the spot here[2:41:13]   What's this name, it's called Post Kind from Kiligrade[2:41:18]   Okay, we're not seeing them live[2:41:21]   I ain't seeing them live, wait till you hear what Bill Maher[2:41:23]   Why didn't I ask you what one of your favorite songs is called?[2:41:26]   That's your favorite song now?[2:41:29]   Wait till you hear what Bill Maher's got to say about songs coming up today[2:41:33]   You know I found out me and Bill Maher got a lot in common, brother[2:41:37]   We should do Bill Maher right after Big Mike, I think this is a really good one[2:41:42]   But let's do some Big Micas, Big Micah[2:41:47]   I might change my name to Micah again, would you guys tolerate that?[2:41:51]   Yes[2:41:52]   Micah, by the way we're not seeing that band live I hope[2:41:58]   Bunch of fucking zombie'd out, guys came to the concert alone in the back like this[2:42:03]   I hate that[2:42:06]   So yeah, I might change my name to Micah[2:42:09]   For the year, if that's okay, I think that sounds really cool[2:42:12]   I'm sure you guys would love to say that[2:42:14]   Hey, what are you listening to?[2:42:15]   Is this show Micah? M-I-K-A?[2:42:20]   Merch, Micah merch[2:42:22]   I heart Micah[2:42:24]   I knew a guy named Micah growing up[2:42:27]   Fucking hated him[2:42:30]   Hated him[2:42:31]   Remember that time I slept over at Micah's house?[2:42:35]   Slept over at Micah's house[2:42:37]   And Micah thought he was one of the cool kids, right? He was like really cool[2:42:41]   He dirt biked[2:42:43]   No cooler kid in school than the kid whose dad lets him have a dirt bike[2:42:48]   So he dirt biked, his name was Micah, he thought he was so cool, I slept over at this guy's house[2:42:53]   And Micah was a tough guy, man, I mean everybody feared Micah[2:42:56]   He was a bully, actually, this Micah[2:42:59]   He was not anywhere close to Beta, he was a full bully[2:43:04]   Acne, bad mustache in fifth grade, you know, he's one of those kids with the mustache in fifth grade[2:43:11]   His hair is like Philip DeFranco's, not the color[2:43:15]   He had shit brown hair, but you know how Philip DeFranco's hair does these spikes?[2:43:20]   Like, no matter what Philip does, no matter what product he uses, his hair grows into these spikes[2:43:27]   Micah had that same bullshit, cheap ass, cheap white person, poor person spiked hair[2:43:34]   Where it would just, as soon as it was just overgrown just a little bit, it would start spiking[2:43:40]   Ugh, I hated Micah[2:43:42]   But, here's the kicker with Micah, and you'll appreciate this[2:43:47]   When I hosted a sleepover at my house[2:43:50]   We weren't fucking around, I mean a sleepover at my house[2:43:54]   And I hope you could relate to this, a sleepover at my house means at least three movies[2:43:59]   These movies are rated R, they could be whatever movies we want[2:44:03]   Unlimited eats of anything we want, and here's the most important part of a sleepover[2:44:11]   No bedtime[2:44:15]   A sleepover with a bedtime is almost like a trap, it's like a trick[2:44:20]   Have you ever been to somebody's house and you go, oh it's a sleepover, that means I'm staying up to one[2:44:24]   Doing whatever the fuck I want, there's gonna be Ouija boards[2:44:29]   Spin the bottle with just you and another guy[2:44:32]   But the bottle is all truths about women[2:44:36]   I'm just kidding, I didn't do any of the gay stuff, sleeping over[2:44:40]   I like these comics, but I go to Micah's for the sleepover, 10.30[2:44:46]   And I'll remember this because Jay Leonard came on, he was the guy who called it Jay Leonard[2:44:51]   10.30, Micah's dad yelling down the basement door[2:44:55]   Turn off the lights and go to bed[2:44:59]   I go, really Micah, would you like to explain yourself?[2:45:02]   That's the first thing I did, I went, oh really Micah[2:45:06]   10.30, I thought you were the bully[2:45:10]   Wait till everyone in school hears about this Micah[2:45:14]   Now we fought this, I made Micah fight it, you know Micah was gonna go to bed[2:45:19]   I just got there, I'm not going to bed, I didn't come over to your house to go to bed, that's absurd[2:45:24]   Think about that, going to somebody's house to go to sleep[2:45:29]   It's a sleepover, meaning there will be no sleeping[2:45:34]   I loved sleepovers man, I mean most of the best times of my life happened during these sleepovers[2:45:39]   The parents have hit the sack, you can do whatever you want in this kid's house[2:45:44]   We're prank calling people, we're up, USA is on TV[2:45:49]   We're seeing sleepaway camp, we're seeing tits on the Playboy channel[2:45:54]   Scramble, we're checking that out, everything's happening on these sleepovers[2:45:59]   So when you tell me 10.30, I go, and I do the thing[2:46:04]   Can I have my one phone call please, because every sleepover gets one phone call, right?[2:46:09]   If you have to call your parents during a sleepover, that kid's gay[2:46:17]   Yeah, can you come pick me up, this kid's got a early bedtime, yeah[2:46:22]   Telling everybody, telling everybody[2:46:24]   Then I went out, thank god I got out of there, I went to another sleepover, this place was amazing[2:46:29]   It was like Project X, the sleepover I went to next, so thank god that happened actually[2:46:34]   But dude, if your dad, and by the way, what dad is concerned about two boys going to bed?[2:46:41]   What kind of fucking faggot dad is this?[2:46:43]   I was going to say a similar thing happened to me one time[2:46:45]   Really?[2:46:46]   At a sleepover that was for a girl's birthday party also, which is even crazier[2:46:49]   That's not, so you're having a birthday party, it's not a sleeping party[2:46:53]   But it was the mom who kept on coming downstairs to tell us to go to sleep and then everyone would just pretend to sleep when the mom came down[2:47:00]   Then you would go back to throw[2:47:02]   Everybody else would pretend, I would stand up straight and go, hello sir, what seems to be the problem here sir?[2:47:09]   That's what I would say to the dad, you need to be asleep, nope, you're not my dad, that was my famous line at a sleepover[2:47:16]   You're not my dad, and nope, I don't eat salad[2:47:19]   And then you accused the dad of touching you when you left[2:47:22]   I wish, I wish, if I lived today's day and age I'd be fucking blackmailing every fucking parent[2:47:29]   Kids have it so easy, you can get the parents to do whatever you want because you can just say that they touched you and you never have to go to school because you can just say you're scared of shootings[2:47:38]   Believe me, kids are saying this to their parents, I mean, I was what's considered a bad kid, bad kids these days, when they're fighting with their parents there's so much you could do to scare your parents now[2:47:49]   And I had none of these threats, I had nothing to hold over them, nothing, I would kill[2:47:54]   And you also would have never had to go to school because every day you just go[2:47:57]   I could frame them, molesting, molesting[2:47:59]   You just go, I'm too scared, there could be a shooter[2:48:01]   There could be a shooter, I would kill, there's never a school shooting[2:48:04]   And what are they gonna make you go get shot?[2:48:05]   The first school shooting was what, 2001 in New York?[2:48:09]   I hate New York, man, I really do, I really despise New York, I despise Dave Attell, he was just on Rogan[2:48:19]   Oh yeah[2:48:20]   What a boring, he's not the greatest actually, he sucks[2:48:25]   He put us right to sleep[2:48:26]   Dave Attell put us right to sleep, you're being beat up by people like Lex Fridman[2:48:31]   Everyone's sharing their sleepover stories[2:48:34]   And Micah was spelled M-I-K-A, there was no such thing as a C-H-A-H[2:48:38]   Micah, that's a whole different Micah, I like a Mika, almost[2:48:43]   This Micah fucking sucked, I'd like to torment him now, I bet he's bald[2:48:47]   He's one of these guys who's bald now, he doesn't have an Instagram because he's too old[2:48:52]   You know, most of my high school friends, they don't have Instagrams, Facebooks anymore[2:48:55]   I know, there's so many people that I'm like dying to get my eyes on[2:48:58]   They've all become wheelers[2:48:59]   And I can't find anything about them[2:49:00]   Nothing[2:49:01]   Like if you don't know someone's exact Instagram handle, good luck[2:49:05]   Every girl my age has what's called a cringe actresses Instagram[2:49:10]   Where every picture is random and of a different quality[2:49:13]   Yeah[2:49:14]   You know, like an actresses Instagram, have you ever seen an actresses Instagram, like go[2:49:18]   I dare you to find like, who's this actress, fucking I hate her guts by the way[2:49:24]   She's always shaving her head and then being a bitch[2:49:26]   What's her fucking name, from Annihilation[2:49:28]   Natalie Portman[2:49:30]   Natalie Portman, I can't stand that kind[2:49:35]   Now if you go to like a Natalie Portman Instagram, it's a fucking mess[2:49:39]   It's like, are you really an actress[2:49:41]   I judge everybody by these Instagrams by the way[2:49:44]   If you're Instagram, have you noticed this, Ashley Benson[2:49:47]   Is she an actress, anybody knows but me[2:49:50]   Fuck social media, someone said hell yeah[2:49:53]   Fuck yeah[2:49:55]   Fuck yeah, fuck social media[2:49:58]   Facebook and Instagram are gay, everything's gay these days[2:50:02]   But yes, Instagram, you go to these actresses, if there was Kate Hudson[2:50:07]   People like that, these boomer actresses[2:50:10]   We used to think they were so special, but now they have Instagram and it's such a hodgepodge[2:50:15]   I mean, everything looks like crap and I will call them out on it[2:50:18]   I said this to Ashley Benson the other day[2:50:21]   I go, your Instagram is awful, it's like Kate Quigley's[2:50:26]   It's messed up, what kind of iPhone, I'm looking, I see it in the selfie mirror[2:50:30]   You've got all the cameras there[2:50:33]   They don't wipe them off, nobody does this[2:50:35]   Nobody could be bothered to do this, they shoot through the grease[2:50:38]   Hate Instagram[2:50:41]   But I love it, I'm on shit sets all day looking at Chris D'Elia[2:50:44]   We should watch Spring Breakers next week by the way[2:50:47]   Wouldn't that be nice, you wanna do that next week[2:50:49]   We waited long enough[2:50:52]   I've got a cool Spring Breakers memorabilia in the other room[2:50:56]   Anybody catch that? I like when people catch things[2:51:00]   Okay, so let's do this, we're going to do[2:51:03]   Big Mike, you were about to do[2:51:04]   Yeah, of course, that's what I was going to introduce[2:51:06]   She thinks she's got to hold my hand through everything just because I drank a couple of bodega cats[2:51:11]   By the way, really, bodega cat was nothing wrong with it[2:51:15]   So I can't believe Joe did that[2:51:18]   Literally nothing wrong, like if I bought this, it would be fine[2:51:22]   I wouldn't notice anything wrong with it[2:51:25]   So Joe Rogan's fucking messed up and had to throw his friend under the bus like that[2:51:29]   Hey, should we quickly watch that Mark clip while we're on the topic[2:51:32]   Woah[2:51:34]   Yeah, that would be great, yeah, let's watch it[2:51:36]   So yeah, Joe, you know, tried this bodega[2:51:39]   And this is big for Mark and Sam[2:51:42]   And Joe tried, he goes, ugh, disgusting, I can't[2:51:45]   And he really pooh-poohed it[2:51:48]   You know, God forbid, imagine if we pooh-poohed one of Joe Rogan's 35 brand deals that he's got going on right now[2:51:54]   Imagine, you know, he'd be fucking livid[2:51:57]   So for him to do this, I can understand why Mark is trying to get back at him like he is[2:52:02]   And we found a clip, here, this is with Mark Gorman[2:52:05]   And it's from, what podcast is this from?[2:52:08]   Tuesdays with Stories[2:52:10]   Tuesdays with Stories, I hate the sound of that, something like Ethan Klein would come up with[2:52:14]   That's like a Twitter-ish, meme-ish type of way of talking[2:52:18]   That's like, sorry not sorry, right?[2:52:22]   Tuesdays with Stories[2:52:25]   Sorry not sorry, I'm one of those, I get this from Twitter[2:52:30]   Mark is starting to hate[2:52:32]   Is it supposed to be like the book Tuesdays with Maury, like the Christian book?[2:52:37]   Woah, bro, embarrassing[2:52:42]   What the fuck did you just say?[2:52:45]   That's what it makes me think of every time, so[2:52:47]   Say that again?[2:52:48]   No, I refuse, sorry[2:52:49]   Mondays with Maury?[2:52:51]   Maury Povich, that's a class act, Maury Povich?[2:52:55]   I'd vote for him for mayor[2:52:57]   Hey, do any of you guys know Terry Fox? Just wondering[2:53:00]   Wait, who's Terry Fox?[2:53:01]   I'm just wondering if they know him[2:53:02]   Do I know him?[2:53:03]   I don't know if he's in my own mind[2:53:04]   Do I know him?[2:53:05]   I don't think so, we discussed this already and you said no[2:53:09]   Ooh, and I got an exciting thing about me running for mayor coming up, this is real, yes[2:53:14]   I'm not even kidding, I'm not even kidding[2:53:17]   You're looking at your next mayor[2:53:19]   I'm not even kidding[2:53:22]   You'll hear all about this during our mayor show[2:53:26]   Okay, Mark is starting to hate Rogan on Tuesdays with Stories[2:53:30]   This is 1915 in and we all saw how, I hope[2:53:34]   You know, Red Bar's episodic, I think they call it[2:53:37]   You gotta see them all[2:53:39]   Which brings me to this Scars Club[2:53:42]   Named after the scars on Anthony Kumiya's face[2:53:46]   And we'll see you back here tomorrow, jewels[2:53:49]   Oh, Kumiya, he's still wearing the same clothes as he did when I first started hating him[2:53:55]   Maybe that's why I continue to hate him[2:53:57]   He's wearing the same shirt as the day that I hated him[2:54:00]   What's it called about Kumiya? What was it with Kumiya?[2:54:03]   Why did I bring up Kumiya?[2:54:05]   I don't know[2:54:06]   I thought there was going to be something[2:54:08]   Okay, well anyway[2:54:10]   Forgot all that[2:54:12]   It's a very British way of doing that, by the way[2:54:14]   Well anyway, forgot all that[2:54:17]   Let's watch Tuesdays with Stories[2:54:20]   This is Mark Norman and you saw how Joe treated Mark with the bodega cat[2:54:25]   This is big for me[2:54:26]   And here he is with Joe List[2:54:28]   You'll see what I mean about Joe's t-shirts[2:54:30]   Him in his long sleeves, short sleeves[2:54:32]   No matter what Joe wears[2:54:34]   It's off, I mean really, this is what we're hit with[2:54:37]   Minute one of Joe's[2:54:39]   Schwing![2:54:41]   Schwing![2:54:42]   You would think they were doing Wayne's World here, folks[2:54:45]   But no, that's just how he sits[2:54:47]   He sits in a Schwing position[2:54:50]   And they're still six feet apart because they're afraid of Kavitika[2:54:53]   I love that COVID, man[2:54:55]   I am dying for a lockdown[2:54:56]   Anybody itching for one of these mandates?[2:54:59]   A mandate![2:55:01]   I love that, man[2:55:03]   A lockdown[2:55:04]   I heard New York's real screwy with COVID[2:55:08]   I thought I had COVID the other day[2:55:10]   Knock on wood, it was just a cold[2:55:13]   Thank God, huh?[2:55:14]   Okay, so here's Joe List, here's Mark Norman[2:55:17]   I love this show[2:55:18]   You know, we watched a show so bad the other day[2:55:20]   That it made Tuesdays with Stories look pretty watchable[2:55:24]   What was that podcast we watched right after Tuesdays with Stories that was so bad[2:55:29]   That we yearned for Tuesdays?[2:55:32]   It wasn't Brian Callins, was it?[2:55:34]   It could have been[2:55:35]   I think it might have been[2:55:37]   I signed a man track with him[2:55:40]   That means I'll never tell[2:55:43]   It's like a contract but for man[2:55:45]   Men[2:55:46]   Okay[2:55:47]   Here it is, Tuesdays with Stories is Mark Norman[2:55:50]   Gonna get back at Joe Rogan just a little bit here at 1915 in Good Show[2:55:55]   There's a lot of respect for my man Terry Fox in the chat, I gotta say[2:55:59]   I need to know, what is this Terry Fox?[2:56:01]   Basically when you're Canadian, your whole life revolves around this man called Terry Fox[2:56:07]   Yeah, you were telling me something about that[2:56:09]   One ear out, the other[2:56:10]   What was that about?[2:56:11]   You're rolling in a TV and then you're seeing this man[2:56:14]   What was he known for?[2:56:16]   He was known for some running[2:56:18]   He ran across Canada[2:56:20]   That's right and he died doing it[2:56:22]   Yes, he didn't even finish[2:56:24]   Yet they still promote him as if he did something good[2:56:28]   That would be like, oh yes, I was gonna be the first[2:56:31]   I don't wanna tell you what my aspirations are[2:56:33]   Not only promote him, they make you emulate him like every day[2:56:36]   Yes, Terry Fox, he was, you know, when we grew up at school[2:56:39]   We didn't have Terry Fox because he kept it to US only guys[2:56:42]   But we had Jackie Joyner-Kersee[2:56:44]   This fucking black spook who ran[2:56:47]   And she was disgusting[2:56:51]   I mean it was really like, imagine those tennis playing women[2:56:55]   What is that, tennis team?[2:56:57]   Did they tell you that Terry Fox only had one leg?[2:57:00]   And it's like, oh so if Terry Fox can do it[2:57:02]   Because that's a big part of the story[2:57:04]   Here's the thing about, so every day at school they're teaching them about Terry Fox[2:57:07]   It's sort of like how Hasidic schools, I was listening to this[2:57:10]   Hasidic Jewish schools, the testing is in the toilet because they're teaching them nothing[2:57:16]   In Canada, they're teaching them nothing[2:57:18]   It's just Terry Fox, Terry Fox did this, oh Terry Fox did that[2:57:21]   Terry Fox, all the books are rewritten instead of Cat in the Hat[2:57:25]   Terry in the Hat and the Fox and all this nonsense[2:57:29]   He sat, this is what it was[2:57:31]   He has one leg but he's gonna run across the country[2:57:35]   You know, from Montreal to whatever they have on the East Coast, Seattle[2:57:42]   And it was just gonna be so spectacular[2:57:44]   And they really bought into the hype in Canada[2:57:46]   They changed their entire curriculum to be Terry Fox based[2:57:52]   And the guy made it like from Montreal to lined up with where Boston would be on the map[2:58:00]   And then he died, but yet, oh he's an inspiration[2:58:03]   An inspiration for what?[2:58:05]   And you shouldn't be telling kids that they could run down the highway[2:58:10]   The worst place to run[2:58:12]   And they did make you run down the highway, not the highway[2:58:14]   But in school they would send you out like once a month[2:58:17]   Or maybe once a year, but it seemed like once a month[2:58:19]   Did you ever do that to your parents?[2:58:21]   When I was a kid I used to run into the highway to get back at my dad[2:58:26]   Into the I-94 during Russia[2:58:31]   Okay, let's see what happens here[2:58:33]   This is 1915 and we're gonna hear maybe just a snide remark about Rogan here, right?[2:58:39]   That's what this is about[2:58:41]   It's lingering with him, the whiskey diss[2:58:43]   Yeah, Mark Norman, it's lingering[2:58:45]   What did I say?[2:58:46]   1915[2:58:48]   I think my grandma was born in 1920[2:58:51]   Right?[2:58:52]   She was, 1920, my grandma was born[2:58:55]   Ooh, spooky back then[2:58:58]   All right, grandma, if you're fucking real[2:59:00]   Start the haunting[2:59:02]   Oh, this is what I wanted to call a school[2:59:05]   Write this down, I got an idea[2:59:07]   I want to call a school, but I know we can't call a school, right?[2:59:09]   So that's what I'm wondering[2:59:11]   I want to call school is like a crank call, here's the premise[2:59:14]   I'm gonna threaten them[2:59:17]   With a school haunting[2:59:20]   As a ghost[2:59:22]   So it's a call, a crank call to a school[2:59:24]   I play a ghost[2:59:26]   And I'm threatening them[2:59:28]   Oh yeah, you better call the cops[2:59:29]   Cause there's a school haunting coming[2:59:32]   Is that, and here's my question to the audience[2:59:35]   Is that illegal?[2:59:36]   Can you threaten a school with a haunting?[2:59:38]   And I've never seen this happen[2:59:40]   Take note[2:59:41]   What's his name?[2:59:42]   From nope[2:59:43]   Which I loved nope, by the way[2:59:45]   Me and her, we love nope[2:59:47]   And we love Jordan Peele[2:59:50]   I did love nope, I thought it was a great movie[2:59:52]   We love nope[2:59:53]   I'm gonna go back and see nope[2:59:56]   I'm not kidding[2:59:57]   But yeah, let me know[2:59:59]   A school haunting[3:00:01]   You know, imagine that[3:00:02]   And imagine a movie[3:00:03]   Isn't this a good premise?[3:00:04]   It's a school[3:00:05]   Here or there?[3:00:06]   Daytime, right?[3:00:08]   But the school's got like a poltergeist going on[3:00:11]   Imagine that, I mean, what a movie[3:00:13]   That would be[3:00:14]   In a shot, we use like a full school[3:00:16]   We really take you to school[3:00:18]   Like it's never been done before[3:00:20]   None of this Hollywood bullshit[3:00:22]   Where their lockers are outside[3:00:24]   A real school[3:00:26]   But the school's haunted[3:00:29]   In a really eerie way[3:00:32]   I don't know, I like it[3:00:35]   Thank you[3:00:36]   Danielle just texted me and said[3:00:37]   Thank you[3:00:38]   His run was called Marathon of Hope[3:00:39]   He ran 3,339 miles[3:00:42]   After surviving cancer and having an amputated leg[3:00:45]   Big fucking deal[3:00:47]   Now I feel bad, he actually was a great guy[3:00:49]   I'd like to go spit on his tomb[3:00:50]   And I never said that he wasn't a great guy[3:00:52]   You influenced me just now to make fun of him[3:00:54]   Yeah, Terry Fox, I bet he was a black guy[3:00:57]   No, he actually looked like Ben Askren[3:00:59]   In my memory[3:01:00]   Oh really? Okay, okay, okay[3:01:02]   Alright, let's see what this diss is[3:01:04]   This big diss[3:01:05]   This better be incredible here[3:01:06]   1915[3:01:07]   Ooh, okay, this makes sense[3:01:10]   Let's hear Mark Ob[3:01:11]   You know, maybe I like Mark now[3:01:13]   Because there's whiskey and what he's going to say here[3:01:16]   Here we go[3:01:17]   Rainfore, so I have forehead[3:01:18]   Rainforehead[3:01:19]   So, big bomb[3:01:21]   And I got the clock down there[3:01:23]   And I'm like, well, you know, how long am I doing?[3:01:25]   Oh, I'm doing 30[3:01:27]   Eating it[3:01:28]   I get a lot of comedy terms[3:01:30]   We're being hit with comedy term after comedy term[3:01:32]   Doing 30[3:01:34]   Eating it[3:01:35]   I got the clock[3:01:39]   I love these comedy terms, man[3:01:40]   I love comedy podcasts, man[3:01:42]   Annihilation, killing, murdering the clock[3:01:45]   Spots[3:01:47]   30 minutes[3:01:48]   Openers[3:01:50]   I mean, we were watching the David Tell Rogan[3:01:52]   I'm going, how do these[3:01:53]   88 million, 100 million people watch this?[3:01:56]   Two comedians just talking about the spots[3:01:59]   That they used to do[3:02:01]   I just don't understand how that could possibly appeal[3:02:03]   It appeals to me, of course[3:02:05]   But I can't understand how it would appeal to someone like you, Jules[3:02:09]   Who does no spots[3:02:11]   You got nothing to take from it, right?[3:02:13]   I hated it[3:02:14]   Do you watch it as if they're talking about behind the scenes Hollywood?[3:02:17]   No[3:02:18]   What does it sound like to you, a non-comedian[3:02:21]   You know, I'm a professional comedian[3:02:23]   So I understand all this minutia in this industry[3:02:25]   I mean, maybe it would be interesting if you never heard about it before in your life[3:02:29]   Ever, and then they talked about it for like 10 minutes[3:02:32]   And that was the only time[3:02:33]   I'm sorry to cut you off[3:02:35]   I already know your answer[3:02:37]   I know all your answers[3:02:38]   I'm sorry to cut you off[3:02:39]   I want to do something[3:02:40]   Tell all the comics[3:02:41]   Dude, Mike is like telling people[3:02:43]   He's like a professional comedian[3:02:45]   He's trying to get in a standup[3:02:47]   He's like trying to do all these[3:02:48]   Tell every comic then[3:02:49]   Screw them all up[3:02:51]   Alright, let's see[3:02:52]   This big diss coming towards Rogan here[3:02:55]   You know[3:02:56]   They've been throwing shade at each other[3:02:58]   Let's hear this[3:02:59]   How long am I doing[3:03:00]   Oh, I'm doing 30[3:03:01]   Eating it[3:03:03]   I get a titter here and there[3:03:05]   You know, you're outdoor[3:03:06]   I made the one joke[3:03:07]   I go[3:03:08]   I actually heard a cricket[3:03:09]   One guy goes[3:03:10]   Heh[3:03:11]   You know that guy[3:03:12]   Oh, there you go[3:03:13]   Heh[3:03:14]   Yeah, if they're saying that to you[3:03:15]   It means you're not good enough[3:03:17]   You know, they're seeing right through you[3:03:19]   They're seeing you like I see you[3:03:21]   But listen to what he[3:03:22]   You know, finally[3:03:23]   This Mark Norman puts two and two together[3:03:25]   After 72 podcasts[3:03:27]   Listen to this[3:03:28]   I actually heard a cricket[3:03:29]   One guy goes[3:03:30]   Heh[3:03:31]   You know that guy[3:03:32]   You know like the condescending like[3:03:34]   Meh, meh, meh[3:03:35]   Yeah[3:03:36]   Yeah[3:03:37]   That's like a sheep[3:03:38]   Yeah, Rogan does that shit[3:03:39]   You know, he goes[3:03:40]   Meh, meh[3:03:41]   You're like, fuck you, you bald cunt[3:03:42]   Whoa[3:03:45]   He hatin'[3:03:47]   Yes, Rogan does that[3:03:49]   A lot[3:03:50]   And that's something you should never do[3:03:51]   To your friends[3:03:52]   Meh, meh, meh[3:03:53]   Whomp, whomp[3:03:54]   And it's like, Joe, your whole fucking life[3:03:55]   Is whomp, whomp[3:03:56]   You're not a comedy guy[3:03:58]   Like, trust me[3:04:00]   Joe Rogan does not have the brain to understand[3:04:03]   Like, it really[3:04:04]   He shouldn't be involved in comedy[3:04:06]   It's really not right for him[3:04:09]   So when you see Rogan go[3:04:10]   Whomp, whomp[3:04:11]   Like, he doesn't understand any joke[3:04:12]   Besides[3:04:14]   Something about a cigar[3:04:16]   Like Caitlyn Jenner[3:04:17]   Or something like that[3:04:18]   You know, he doesn't really get[3:04:20]   Little tiny little things[3:04:22]   Like[3:04:23]   I don't think Joe Rogan would find this show very funny[3:04:26]   Not at all[3:04:28]   No[3:04:29]   Not at all[3:04:30]   He'd have to turn it off[3:04:31]   Oh, he had to turn it off[3:04:32]   After five minutes, right?[3:04:34]   That's what he said about Red Bar, right?[3:04:37]   On that last episode[3:04:38]   Everybody go watch the episode[3:04:39]   It was with[3:04:41]   Dave Attell[3:04:42]   And they talked about us[3:04:43]   For like 45 minutes[3:04:44]   About how that they only could watch[3:04:46]   For five minutes[3:04:47]   Okay[3:04:48]   Yeah[3:04:49]   So go watch that[3:04:50]   It's at the three thirty-four minute mark[3:04:52]   But you gotta watch the whole show[3:04:54]   Somewhere in the episode, I should say[3:04:57]   Anyway[3:04:58]   Here is[3:04:59]   Mark[3:05:00]   No, it's not that bad[3:05:01]   It's not that bad[3:05:02]   No, I mean[3:05:03]   On this show, we go over each thing[3:05:04]   Four or five times[3:05:06]   Sorry[3:05:07]   Until I've figured out everything[3:05:08]   That could be figured out about this[3:05:11]   But I do think that Mark senses[3:05:13]   That Joe is being an asshole[3:05:15]   For reasons other than[3:05:17]   Yes[3:05:18]   Just taste off[3:05:19]   Yes[3:05:20]   And[3:05:21]   Joe is an asshole[3:05:22]   To a lot of these guys[3:05:23]   And it's so unpredictable[3:05:25]   You don't know[3:05:26]   You know, when he's gonna be an asshole[3:05:28]   When he's not[3:05:29]   Look at this[3:05:30]   This is something on the set that I hate[3:05:32]   This is from George[3:05:34]   From Sinfield[3:05:36]   This is from George[3:05:37]   Where he wanted to edit himself[3:05:39]   So they love[3:05:41]   This[3:05:42]   Jew[3:05:43]   Humor type stuff[3:05:44]   So[3:05:45]   Obviously something's going on there[3:05:47]   And then this, of course[3:05:49]   Lunch Stuff Studios[3:05:52]   These comedians love lunch[3:05:54]   And by lunch, I mean[3:05:55]   Subway[3:05:57]   And[3:05:58]   Where else do the comedians eat lunch?[3:05:59]   Oh, they love Subway[3:06:00]   Comedians also love[3:06:01]   Jimmy John's[3:06:02]   Oh yeah, Jimmy John's[3:06:03]   If they're rich[3:06:04]   Comedians in lunch[3:06:07]   They got a million lunch jokes[3:06:09]   About their[3:06:10]   Brutal lunches that they have[3:06:12]   A comedian couldn't pick out a lunch for himself[3:06:15]   If his mom was at the end of a barrel[3:06:17]   Of a long, long weapon[3:06:19]   You know, these comedians in lunch[3:06:21]   Does that make sense to anybody?[3:06:23]   Like two guys like this[3:06:25]   A lunch stuff studios[3:06:27]   Okay, so there it is[3:06:28]   She's dissing Rogan[3:06:29]   Tell everyone[3:06:30]   Yeah, Rogan does that shit[3:06:32]   You know, he goes[3:06:33]   You're like, fuck you, you bald cunt[3:06:35]   He does do that[3:06:36]   I hate the mad man[3:06:37]   I'm like, that was pretty good[3:06:38]   Yeah[3:06:39]   Well, whatever[3:06:40]   Well, why don't you stick up for yourself there, Mark?[3:06:41]   Or is it something to do with all that money and views?[3:06:45]   Imagine, you know, what's worse than being friends with Joe Rogan[3:06:48]   Is being friends with Joe Rogan[3:06:49]   But you're kind of at secretly at odds with him[3:06:52]   And you wish you could just fucking do that[3:06:54]   But you can't[3:06:55]   Yikes[3:06:56]   Okay, well, there it was[3:06:57]   Mark Norman[3:06:58]   Let's get into this Big Michael stuff[3:07:00]   With Charlamagne the God[3:07:02]   I think people really like, you know, what they like about Big Mike the most[3:07:06]   Of course, he's Logan Paul's assistant[3:07:08]   From the Impulsive[3:07:09]   We've been on his ass for a long time[3:07:11]   Took a little break from Big Mike[3:07:13]   We discovered him, by the way[3:07:15]   I feel like we did discover Big Mike[3:07:17]   There was nobody doing a video[3:07:19]   You can cut to me[3:07:20]   There's nobody doing the video[3:07:21]   There was nobody doing a video[3:07:23]   You can cut to me[3:07:24]   There's nobody doing a video on Big Mike before us[3:07:27]   We were there[3:07:28]   I mean, I remember when I first saw Big Mike sit there with Logan[3:07:32]   It really just hit me like a ton of bricks[3:07:34]   At how bad this guy was[3:07:37]   And I think the reason he's so popular here[3:07:39]   Is because we all went to school[3:07:42]   With a guy like this Big Mike, right?[3:07:44]   There's one of him in every high school[3:07:47]   A very relatable character[3:07:48]   And he was never meant to be[3:07:50]   In front of the camera[3:07:52]   You know, so[3:07:53]   The fact that he was thrown in front of the camera[3:07:55]   And the fact that he's had to go through all this[3:07:57]   Is very relatable to us[3:07:59]   I believe[3:08:00]   Here he is with Charlemagne[3:08:02]   Really blacking it up[3:08:04]   For Charlemagne[3:08:05]   You know what I'm saying?[3:08:06]   You know what I'm saying?[3:08:07]   You know what I'm saying?[3:08:08]   You know what I'm saying?[3:08:09]   Him and Logan[3:08:10]   And it's weird[3:08:11]   You know, I always wonder if I ever had[3:08:13]   A black person that would go near me[3:08:15]   The first thing I would ask them[3:08:17]   What's so fucking funny about it?[3:08:18]   The first thing I would ask a black person[3:08:20]   If I was ever able to be around one[3:08:23]   Without it being a thing[3:08:25]   It would be like[3:08:26]   Don't you despise when white people start[3:08:29]   Accenting it[3:08:30]   Or do you not notice because you're so hood[3:08:33]   Do they notice?[3:08:34]   They notice, right?[3:08:35]   They notice[3:08:36]   And they're so used to it[3:08:38]   Black people[3:08:39]   That they don't even call it out[3:08:41]   You know what they say[3:08:43]   And then they move on[3:08:44]   People in the chat say it all the time[3:08:46]   Say what all the time[3:08:47]   They're like, I'm black and I hate that[3:08:49]   Oh, we have black people that listen to the show[3:08:51]   Oh, yeah[3:08:52]   La la wa[3:08:53]   I love this, Lala[3:08:54]   I'd like to have a little black companion[3:08:56]   Sometimes he posts something that only gets[3:08:58]   Like five likes[3:08:59]   And people kind of ignore it[3:09:00]   Because he's black because of his race[3:09:01]   No, no, no[3:09:02]   But then I watch it[3:09:05]   And it's like the best clip I've ever seen[3:09:07]   I like La la wa[3:09:08]   Bangers only with that guy[3:09:09]   I've told you this before[3:09:10]   I like La la wa[3:09:11]   And it's very exciting for us[3:09:13]   Whites to know a black man[3:09:15]   Is listening[3:09:16]   It excites us[3:09:18]   I love black[3:09:19]   And I'd like a little companion[3:09:21]   I'd like a little black guy[3:09:23]   To be with me[3:09:24]   Like a Mark S. Brown[3:09:25]   But with less attitude[3:09:27]   Mark S. Brownlee[3:09:28]   Or whatever his name is[3:09:29]   I'd like a guy like that[3:09:30]   Always worrying about my tech stuff[3:09:33]   Mark S. Brownlee became popular[3:09:35]   Because of the anomaly[3:09:37]   But here's this black guy[3:09:38]   Got the latest iPhone[3:09:41]   The fuck?[3:09:42]   So people are watching[3:09:43]   Because it's shock[3:09:44]   I like Mark S. Brownlee[3:09:46]   He's got an attitude[3:09:48]   He's got a filming style[3:09:50]   It's very crippling[3:09:52]   And I'd like a guy like that[3:09:54]   This La la ya[3:09:55]   He's wearing a starter jacket[3:09:56]   He's with a group of kids[3:09:57]   He's out in the cold parking lot of Detroit[3:10:00]   All the time going[3:10:01]   No, no, no, no, no[3:10:02]   And he's a good kid[3:10:04]   But the bad kids like him[3:10:06]   That's a great way to be[3:10:08]   That's a great way to be[3:10:09]   A little chocolate companion[3:10:12]   I love it[3:10:13]   And if you're black[3:10:15]   Reach out to me[3:10:16]   Because I'd like this audience[3:10:18]   To be 60% African American[3:10:21]   By next year[3:10:24]   Is it possible?[3:10:25]   And to me, I've never been[3:10:27]   You know, I'm from Chicago[3:10:28]   There's black people everywhere[3:10:30]   It's not crazy to us[3:10:32]   But I'll tell you this, La la[3:10:33]   There are guys in this chat[3:10:35]   Who think being black is crazy[3:10:40]   Get rid of them[3:10:41]   Get rid of them[3:10:42]   Okay, let's show you this[3:10:43]   And this is what I'm[3:10:45]   This is I really want the black people to[3:10:47]   And I'm sorry[3:10:48]   You know, I'm really sorry[3:10:49]   To even do that to you[3:10:50]   Because that's not where our minds are at[3:10:53]   Okay[3:10:54]   I want the African Americans to know that[3:10:56]   The Afro American[3:10:58]   To know that[3:10:59]   Our minds are not there[3:11:01]   We're saying that because[3:11:02]   There's other guys' minds that do go there[3:11:05]   So to act like them[3:11:07]   Really, you make a horse's ass out of yourself[3:11:09]   You ever hear that expression?[3:11:10]   I'm as dark as night[3:11:12]   Someone says, wait till you see this black guy[3:11:14]   That I'm communicating with today[3:11:16]   And you need that out here[3:11:18]   Believe me, in the desert[3:11:19]   The blacks are few and far between[3:11:21]   And it's worse[3:11:22]   I'll tell you what[3:11:23]   I've lived in a fully black city[3:11:25]   Where they're killing everybody[3:11:26]   And I've lived in a fully white city now[3:11:29]   Where they're killing everybody[3:11:30]   I will say this[3:11:31]   My experience with the whites[3:11:33]   The bad whites[3:11:34]   Is way worse[3:11:36]   Than my experiences in Chicago[3:11:38]   With the bad blacks[3:11:40]   I'm not kidding[3:11:42]   I hear it looks like they're almost even[3:11:44]   The whites here[3:11:46]   Down here[3:11:47]   The blacks in Chicago[3:11:48]   Were up here[3:11:49]   The blacks in Chicago didn't[3:11:50]   Give me a hard time every day[3:11:54]   You know[3:11:55]   They didn't take up two spots[3:11:57]   They weren't wise guys[3:11:59]   You know[3:12:00]   Most problems I have are with whites[3:12:02]   I'll tell you that right now[3:12:03]   Same[3:12:04]   Same[3:12:05]   I miss black people, man[3:12:07]   I miss their smell[3:12:08]   Want to move back?[3:12:09]   I miss their smell[3:12:10]   I miss their scent[3:12:11]   I miss their flavor[3:12:14]   I miss going to the bus[3:12:16]   Being right next to a black person like this[3:12:20]   I miss Oprah Winfrey Studio[3:12:23]   I used to go over every day[3:12:25]   To Oprah Winfrey Studio[3:12:26]   I used to eat lunch across the street[3:12:28]   I'm not kidding[3:12:29]   I don't know what's so funny about that[3:12:30]   I used to eat at this place called Wishbone[3:12:32]   And I would see Oprah over there[3:12:34]   Say hi to Oprah[3:12:35]   Alright, let's show you this[3:12:36]   This is, of course, Charlamagne[3:12:39]   The god[3:12:40]   He's a black guy[3:12:41]   And Big Mike and Logan[3:12:43]   They really put it on thick[3:12:45]   I hate when people do this[3:12:46]   I really hate when they[3:12:48]   Try to talk black around a black guy[3:12:50]   I don't even know if they're intentionally doing it[3:12:53]   Or they're just trying to like[3:12:55]   Stay on the same cool level in their own mind[3:12:58]   But it really is sick to see[3:13:01]   And it's sick to see that it's still happening[3:13:03]   Okay, here it is[3:13:04]   Impulsive with Charlamagne[3:13:05]   The god[3:13:06]   Again[3:13:07]   And why are we letting people from the UK tell us about[3:13:09]   Why are we letting people from the UK[3:13:10]   I hate Charlamagne, by the way[3:13:12]   Because of what he did to Kanye[3:13:13]   I'll never forgive that Kanye West interview[3:13:16]   On The Breakfast Club[3:13:17]   Neither[3:13:18]   That's when I first got into Charlamagne[3:13:19]   Watching that Yeezus interview[3:13:22]   Where he just goes[3:13:23]   So Yeezus is wack, man[3:13:26]   And Kanye's like[3:13:27]   Oh my god[3:13:28]   Yeezus is pretty wack[3:13:30]   There's no drums[3:13:32]   Oh no, that was yay[3:13:33]   There was no drums[3:13:34]   But I couldn't believe how he treated it[3:13:36]   It's like you cannot treat someone that way[3:13:39]   I've always hated Charlamagne[3:13:42]   The god[3:13:43]   I'm not saying the[3:13:45]   And here's another reason I am[3:13:47]   Brilliant idiots, okay[3:13:49]   How do you think Andrew Schultz has got his start[3:13:51]   It's Charlamagne[3:13:52]   Andrew Schultz and Charlamagne[3:13:54]   And Charlamagne thought it was funny[3:13:56]   Here's me and a white kid[3:13:58]   Yeah, that's what black people in New York call white people[3:14:01]   This white kid[3:14:03]   And they get together and they[3:14:05]   You know, they were terrible together[3:14:07]   That was really, really bad[3:14:09]   Remember the days when we had to watch that[3:14:11]   Remember those watching days[3:14:14]   Of Andrew Schultz on Charlamagne[3:14:16]   It's almost a different world, right[3:14:18]   Andrew Schultz, that's where he was from[3:14:19]   Okay, so we should hate[3:14:21]   Charlamagne, his opinions are bad[3:14:24]   He's always taken like the obvious[3:14:27]   Take on things[3:14:29]   But then he takes takes that like[3:14:31]   Are so off and wrong[3:14:33]   And contrarian[3:14:35]   And just annoying, bad[3:14:37]   Aggravating takes[3:14:39]   That's just what he's been my whole life[3:14:41]   So to see him here with the impulsive voice[3:14:43]   I thought he was gonna[3:14:45]   You know, he's always got like a hint of untrustworthiness[3:14:47]   With the white[3:14:49]   But it seemed like he was having a blast[3:14:51]   Yeah, that's what I was gonna get to[3:14:53]   They really broke that barrier pretty quickly[3:14:55]   So Big Mike's little[3:14:57]   You know, and he must get a hard on for these tall[3:14:59]   White East Coast guys, huh?[3:15:01]   His boyfriend[3:15:03]   To me[3:15:05]   And don't get a twist[3:15:07]   To me, Charlamagne is gay[3:15:09]   To me[3:15:11]   He'd had nigga from True Blood[3:15:13]   LaMotte, what's his name, Levette?[3:15:15]   LeRoy?[3:15:17]   What was that guy from True Blood?[3:15:19]   I mean, pull up that guy from True Blood[3:15:21]   Rest in peace, he died, he actually died[3:15:23]   That guy was great[3:15:25]   The transvestite in True Blood[3:15:27]   You know, this was before trans with a thing[3:15:29]   He was a cross-dressing black guy[3:15:31]   Looks exactly like Char...[3:15:33]   Lafayette[3:15:35]   Of course, named after the city[3:15:37]   I loved True Blood[3:15:39]   Oh my god[3:15:41]   I loved True Blood[3:15:43]   Isn't there a new show on HBO coming out where I[3:15:45]   Every time HBO has a new show[3:15:47]   I go, this could be like the new True Blood[3:15:49]   Isn't that funny with HBO? Like everything HBO[3:15:51]   When they have a new show, I go, it's like the new Antares[3:15:53]   It's like the new Sex and the City[3:15:55]   It's like the new True Blood[3:15:57]   Three gay shows to you, but not to me[3:15:59]   I love that stuff[3:16:01]   So I can't wait, what did we see was coming out on HBO[3:16:03]   Where I go, this looks like it's gonna be[3:16:05]   The next True Blood[3:16:07]   I can't remember[3:16:09]   That was a big thing too, my whole life, every guy[3:16:11]   Thought, oh, True Blood[3:16:13]   We're supposed to think that's like gay or something, right?[3:16:15]   And you didn't even watch it[3:16:17]   It's like, what's wrong with True Blood?[3:16:19]   It was the best show[3:16:21]   I loved True Blood, season two?[3:16:23]   I didn't watch it[3:16:25]   I see some of these[3:16:27]   I see some of those[3:16:29]   You ever see one of these?[3:16:31]   You know what that is?[3:16:33]   What body part is this?[3:16:35]   Don't say it[3:16:37]   Alright, Charlamagne, thank god[3:16:39]   Let's check out the[3:16:41]   Is there a specific time code to go to[3:16:43]   At the beginning? Because I know they do this[3:16:45]   Thing at the beginning where they show you everything[3:16:47]   Oh, you can just skip it, it's usually like 30 seconds in[3:16:49]   Yeah, that's what I wanted to do[3:16:51]   Well, let's just watch it[3:16:53]   Charlamagne, impulsive, Big Mike stuff[3:16:55]   Coming up, George[3:16:57]   And why are we letting people from the UK tell us about words?[3:16:59]   Do we know what they call cigarettes over there?[3:17:01]   Do you know?[3:17:03]   Anybody from the LGBT community[3:17:05]   in America want to go over there and tell them to change[3:17:07]   the words for their cigarettes?[3:17:09]   That's what I'm going to do[3:17:11]   If I ever get caught saying the n-word and I have to publicly apologize[3:17:13]   Where I'm from, that's[3:17:15]   what they call cigarettes[3:17:17]   Literally[3:17:19]   And then some people will be like, oh, wait[3:17:21]   And then that's it[3:17:23]   You give them that and you leave[3:17:25]   You're free[3:17:27]   Write that one down[3:17:29]   If you ever get busted saying the n-word, you say, I'm so sorry where I'm from[3:17:31]   That's what we call cigarettes[3:17:35]   I just don't want to say[3:17:37]   I'm really sorry, I'm growing[3:17:39]   I'm growing every day from it[3:17:41]   That's what these people say[3:17:43]   There's one kid on The Bachelor, he did[3:17:45]   blackface in high school[3:17:47]   And it wasn't even blackface[3:17:49]   It's not blackface if you're just dressed up[3:17:51]   as a black guy for Halloween, he did Eric[3:17:53]   Is that his name?[3:17:55]   The winner, he did blackface[3:17:57]   They can't get over it, they want to tear him down[3:17:59]   And they want to kill her[3:18:01]   because he did blackface[3:18:03]   We have to reverse that, blackface is fine[3:18:07]   How could that not be fine? You're not hurting anybody[3:18:09]   You're literally only hurting your own skin[3:18:11]   By making it look like theirs[3:18:13]   We should be the ones[3:18:15]   mad[3:18:17]   Because of the damage we've done to our[3:18:19]   beautiful fucking skin[3:18:21]   Stop[3:18:23]   What?[3:18:25]   And I will never apologize[3:18:27]   Well I'll do[3:18:29]   Yeah, I'll do the[3:18:31]   That's what we call cigarettes[3:18:33]   Sorry[3:18:35]   I gotta[3:18:39]   learn the symbols of this[3:18:41]   This dude discovered margaritas[3:18:43]   and he's never been the same[3:18:45]   He's an alcoholic, two quick things right off the bat[3:18:47]   George has a camel toe, you'll notice that[3:18:49]   for the entire episode he'll be covering it with a[3:18:51]   pillow, Mike's been making[3:18:53]   crotch comments this whole time, I'm so glad we don't have an[3:18:55]   HR, I'll go straight to it[3:18:57]   I've never been so far away from you before[3:18:59]   Did you set this up in a weird way?[3:19:01]   This is George Janko, luckily[3:19:03]   he's wearing a hat today, you should see how fucking[3:19:05]   Arabian he's become[3:19:07]   He's got this poof that shoots out and this[3:19:09]   giant fucking beard[3:19:11]   I mean the only thing he's missing is like a[3:19:13]   nose ring chain that connects to the ear[3:19:15]   and a big elephant that he rides on[3:19:17]   and it's nuts man[3:19:19]   How Arabic are you[3:19:21]   trying to get with it George?[3:19:23]   And I don't know about you but here in America[3:19:25]   we have a limit to how fucking[3:19:27]   Arabic you could look before we[3:19:29]   start going[3:19:31]   and before we start[3:19:33]   not being pleased[3:19:35]   Does anybody like that?[3:19:37]   That's how real people act[3:19:39]   and I'm not afraid to say it[3:19:41]   Okay? Got no problems with Arabs[3:19:43]   When you start getting too Arab-y with all[3:19:45]   the fucking decoration it starts[3:19:47]   making us mad for some reason[3:19:49]   Right? And that goes[3:19:51]   with any race[3:19:53]   I wish we could just openly say that[3:19:55]   I don't hate any of these races but I hate[3:19:57]   when you get too racy with[3:19:59]   yourself with all this stuff okay?[3:20:01]   Sick! Not a good[3:20:03]   vibe here[3:20:05]   Alright? Like if you saw an Indian like dressed[3:20:07]   in full Indian clothes not my[3:20:09]   type of vibe[3:20:11]   Goes for whites as well[3:20:13]   Yes you know and I would[3:20:15]   say like yes those whites that Joe Rogan[3:20:17]   has you know like the hunters[3:20:19]   Yes that's them doing that[3:20:21]   Two is the American version of[3:20:23]   too white[3:20:25]   Everybody's got a two[3:20:27]   You know some people think who am I[3:20:29]   want to talk?[3:20:31]   And this is by the way from Russia[3:20:33]   I thought it was[3:20:35]   Greek Well I stand[3:20:37]   with Russia and this whole Ukraine[3:20:39]   thing I'm starting to come out[3:20:41]   tell people about that[3:20:43]   You know? And I also[3:20:45]   stand with Greeks[3:20:47]   Is it Greek? Greece[3:20:49]   I stand with Greece[3:20:51]   I watched a very cute couple[3:20:53]   go to Santorini[3:20:55]   Nice week[3:20:57]   You should have seen the place[3:20:59]   Eh? Someday[3:21:01]   Eh? Anyway[3:21:03]   Eh?[3:21:05]   Someday[3:21:07]   Eh?[3:21:09]   Anyway[3:21:11]   Okay here it is uh Charlemagne[3:21:13]   the god with these guys let's bring them in[3:21:15]   Japan do I really have a camel toe?[3:21:17]   They got a camel toe Camel toes are kind of hot[3:21:19]   They're in right now They're out of Middle Eastern[3:21:21]   so a camel toe is something that like really gets us[3:21:23]   Shut the fuck up Nice joke nice[3:21:25]   cultural joke Awesome joke George[3:21:27]   Okay quickly I just want to[3:21:29]   Middle Eastern food delicious[3:21:31]   as long as they're not in a bad mood[3:21:33]   That's what[3:21:35]   every Middle Eastern place should say[3:21:37]   Delicious food as long as I'm not[3:21:39]   in a bad mood or texting with somebody[3:21:41]   like a woman[3:21:43]   Because believe me they will[3:21:45]   You go to a Middle Eastern place the food is[3:21:47]   delicious[3:21:49]   And you could go the very next day and[3:21:51]   Wow you ever seen what they're trying to do now?[3:21:53]   You know I love a shawarma right?[3:21:55]   And that is a rotisserie meat[3:21:57]   It spins on this rotisserie[3:21:59]   The idea is to crisp the outside[3:22:01]   You know give it a little crisp[3:22:03]   And then you cut it off it falls it should[3:22:05]   fall out into little pieces it should almost[3:22:07]   look like blooming onion[3:22:09]   strands man[3:22:11]   Shawarma but then[3:22:13]   these lazy Middle Easterns what they'll do now[3:22:15]   They don't have time for that shawarma[3:22:17]   to spin all day so what do they do?[3:22:19]   They cut the meat off before it's actually[3:22:21]   crisped and then they just throw it in[3:22:23]   a pan and heat it up they give you a shawarma[3:22:25]   You ever got a shawarma sandwich where it's all gray[3:22:27]   no crisp and it's like[3:22:29]   wet and sandy[3:22:31]   It's because they have no[3:22:33]   quality control for anything they do[3:22:35]   And if they're in a bad mood[3:22:37]   everybody's food is just fucked up[3:22:39]   That really pisses me off[3:22:41]   And they'll never change[3:22:43]   So there you go that's my take on[3:22:45]   Middle Easterns[3:22:47]   Logan just said something about him riding a camel[3:22:49]   or something like that and then Logan went[3:22:51]   nice cultural joke[3:22:53]   I know Logan is[3:22:55]   very yeah that's him nice cultural[3:22:57]   joke[3:22:59]   Logan really isn't in the mix like Logan[3:23:01]   racist jokes go right over his head like he does[3:23:03]   nothing about like Yes he does[3:23:05]   he recognizes cultural jokes[3:23:07]   Ah well look[3:23:09]   I'm Middle Eastern so Kamatoa really gets[3:23:11]   this going yeah right nice[3:23:13]   joke nice cultural joke awesome joke[3:23:15]   Okay quickly I just wanted[3:23:17]   He just learned about cultural jokes[3:23:19]   He's very out of the loop when it comes to[3:23:21]   types of jokes okay are they gonna[3:23:23]   bring in this guy yeah you gotta go to[3:23:25]   850 for him to come in[3:23:27]   850[3:23:29]   850[3:23:31]   850[3:23:33]   I really can't stand Lafayette[3:23:35]   I hate to even call him Lafayette[3:23:37]   because I liked Lafayette[3:23:39]   from True Blood man did they put him[3:23:41]   through hell with all that stuff[3:23:43]   Man[3:23:45]   Fuck that wasn't fair[3:23:47]   850?[3:23:49]   Alright here he comes folks[3:23:51]   Charlamagne[3:23:53]   We talk about fucking peeing on[3:23:55]   bathroom floors economy mouth breathers[3:23:57]   and dicks can we circle back to that what does that mean[3:23:59]   mouth breathers it's like when you breathe out of your[3:24:01]   mouth are you sure we all do[3:24:03]   that right or no get the frick out of here[3:24:05]   we have an important guest you're talking about fucking breathing[3:24:07]   Bring in Charlamagne[3:24:09]   Damn in the all blue[3:24:11]   All blue[3:24:13]   What's up baby how you doing brother[3:24:15]   How are you?[3:24:17]   What's up brother?[3:24:19]   You can't call a black guy a[3:24:21]   La la la[3:24:23]   La la la la la la la[3:24:25]   That's how I address you now[3:24:27]   No la la ya[3:24:29]   I think it is[3:24:31]   What would you do if someone came up[3:24:33]   Yo sup brother sup brother[3:24:35]   Unless that guy is like a DJ[3:24:37]   Or like a Jesse Pinkman style guy[3:24:39]   Yeah yeah what do you think about that[3:24:41]   Let's have a direct communication with like three[3:24:43]   fellas in the chat[3:24:45]   What would you say if I came up to you and was like[3:24:47]   Yo brother yo what's up[3:24:49]   And I think Big Mike had another[3:24:51]   So Logan Paul called him brother[3:24:53]   And then listen to Big Mike[3:24:55]   Blue blue all blue[3:24:57]   What's up baby how you doing?[3:24:59]   What's up baby how you doing?[3:25:01]   What's up baby how you doing yo what's up brother[3:25:03]   Do you think he really thought about what his opener was gonna be[3:25:05]   And he landed on baby[3:25:07]   Because baby is like[3:25:09]   Okay it's not like[3:25:11]   Corny it's not on the nose[3:25:13]   I do understand that brothers are using[3:25:15]   This term baby[3:25:17]   Okay and they are[3:25:19]   And it's more[3:25:21]   You know within[3:25:23]   The culture of vocabulary[3:25:25]   And believe me I think[3:25:27]   That is something Mike stayed up for probably[3:25:29]   Two weeks trying to figure out[3:25:31]   What would be the best[3:25:33]   Can't be brother[3:25:35]   It can't be[3:25:37]   Yo yo[3:25:39]   Yo homie[3:25:43]   Baby that's perfect[3:25:45]   And I don't like that I don't like the baby[3:25:47]   I don't like boy[3:25:49]   I don't like any of that stuff[3:25:51]   What's up brother how are you[3:25:53]   He looks like he's ready to start trouble bro[3:25:55]   Or sprint somewhere[3:25:57]   Quickly[3:25:59]   What's happening[3:26:01]   Why cause he's black[3:26:03]   He looks like he's ready to start trouble[3:26:05]   He's like 5'1[3:26:07]   He's got mascara on[3:26:09]   Blush[3:26:11]   And a baby blue jumper[3:26:13]   He looks like he's ready to start trouble[3:26:15]   That's like a flirtatious flirt[3:26:17]   He looks like he's wearing[3:26:19]   James Charles merch[3:26:21]   Yeah you look like you're wearing[3:26:23]   James Charles daytime clothes[3:26:25]   That look very wacky[3:26:27]   With a full face of makeup by the way[3:26:29]   You really can't wear like[3:26:31]   Hoodies and a full face of makeup[3:26:33]   It just doesn't match[3:26:35]   James[3:26:37]   Or sprint somewhere quickly[3:26:39]   Quickly[3:26:41]   Look at that you look like[3:26:43]   Yeah you look like you're ready to get in a lot of trouble[3:26:45]   And then Logan's like yeah[3:26:47]   Or that he's going to sprint somewhere quickly[3:26:49]   Like an African[3:26:51]   It's like what the hell is this[3:26:53]   You got baby brother[3:26:55]   He looks like he's going to sprint[3:26:57]   Which is an old school racism thing[3:26:59]   And then he looks like he's going to get in a lot of trouble[3:27:01]   Which of course[3:27:03]   That's four racist remarks[3:27:05]   In the first second[3:27:07]   What's up baby how you doing brother[3:27:09]   How are you[3:27:11]   He looks like he's ready to start trouble bro[3:27:13]   Or sprint somewhere quickly[3:27:15]   Or rob a liquor store[3:27:17]   Or steal cigarettes[3:27:19]   I mean that's really to me[3:27:21]   That's some white privilege[3:27:23]   And by the way black people what do you think about[3:27:25]   White guys from Ohio[3:27:27]   Talking to you does that chill your fucking bones[3:27:31]   Could you imagine if you were black[3:27:33]   And somebody from Ohio like Jake Paul[3:27:35]   Came up see with that face[3:27:37]   Good fucking god[3:27:39]   You either fall in love with him for life[3:27:41]   Or he becomes your worst enemy[3:27:43]   Or figure out how to use him for money[3:27:45]   A lot of black people do that too[3:27:47]   Like black people hate white people[3:27:49]   But they're[3:27:51]   They will use a white person like[3:27:53]   With no[3:27:55]   Problem in their heart[3:27:57]   You know they'll instantly use someone[3:27:59]   Okay here[3:28:01]   What's happening what's good[3:28:03]   We're fired up today[3:28:05]   This angle is fucked too[3:28:07]   You really fucked us with this angle today bro[3:28:09]   We're usually facing the guests and shit[3:28:11]   I feel like I'm all the way over here[3:28:13]   Come on y'all making too much money man[3:28:15]   For this right[3:28:17]   You're going to see this is a big moment[3:28:19]   For Big Mike[3:28:21]   Big Mike is from big east coast right[3:28:23]   And Charlamagne is the east coast[3:28:25]   Radio man so like[3:28:27]   You know the breakfast club on the east coast[3:28:29]   Especially when Mike was[3:28:31]   On the east coast it's a big deal[3:28:33]   Right this is like you know[3:28:35]   New York holds these guys you know[3:28:37]   This is like the Howard Stern of[3:28:39]   Hip-hop to Big Mike[3:28:41]   So Big Mike's been very nervous about this[3:28:43]   Of course Big Mike is a[3:28:45]   Hip-hopist[3:28:47]   Big Mike knows[3:28:49]   Hip-hop and he is[3:28:51]   Very into[3:28:53]   Biggie Nas J[3:28:57]   Nobody calls him J[3:28:59]   You know so but he'll[3:29:01]   J of course[3:29:03]   I'm into so this is a big[3:29:05]   Day for Mike you know and[3:29:07]   I didn't even realize that till we were halfway[3:29:09]   In I'll think of a day this was going to be for Mike[3:29:11]   And when we saw this I was kind of ignoring[3:29:13]   It you know like always and then[3:29:15]   Oh yes Big Mike is the[3:29:17]   Hip-hop guy you know he's always[3:29:19]   Trying to like prove to people[3:29:21]   That he knows about Hip-hop and you're going to see[3:29:23]   That here today in some[3:29:25]   Real revolting reaches[3:29:27]   Alright so here we are should we go[3:29:29]   To our first time code of the day? Yes[3:29:31]   We want to go to 22 minutes[3:29:33]   In 22 uh-oh[3:29:35]   22 another racist[3:29:37]   Number any[3:29:39]   Bullet caliber is[3:29:41]   Racist[3:29:45]   That's funny because Brian Callen brought up[3:29:47]   That if he could buy any gun[3:29:49]   Any gun it would be a 22[3:29:51]   Because[3:29:53]   He could take out all these guys[3:29:55]   With it he goes you shoot a guy in the neck[3:29:57]   With a 22[3:29:59]   The rest of the army[3:30:01]   Is going to turn around and go what happened to John?[3:30:03]   Because[3:30:05]   He's just going to be falling on the ground[3:30:07]   With a tiny hole[3:30:09]   You're not going to be able to hit him[3:30:11]   I promise you're not going to be[3:30:13]   Look at this what he's saying okay[3:30:15]   22, 22[3:30:17]   It means something today[3:30:19]   Let's see what happens here our first time[3:30:21]   Code of the day I think this will[3:30:23]   Start making sense very quickly[3:30:25]   High intensity cardio stuff[3:30:27]   I hate it it's hard oh man we did it last[3:30:29]   Party oh my god he had us doing like these 15[3:30:31]   Second intervals intervals on the[3:30:33]   The treadmill and it was like at[3:30:35]   15 it was it was wild[3:30:37]   But I mean it's worth it in the end though you know what I mean and then[3:30:39]   After you do it you feel great[3:30:41]   When you walk out you feel great man you feel[3:30:43]   Incredible he reminds me of like when[3:30:45]   Ru Paul is dressed as a man[3:30:47]   You know[3:30:49]   He's got that sweet fucking look[3:30:51]   Yes[3:30:53]   Has anyone ever gotten him in drag?[3:30:55]   It's time[3:30:57]   And you can smell the[3:30:59]   Burntness of his cacao[3:31:01]   From here right it's a little bit of[3:31:03]   Shit mixed with a little bit of cacao[3:31:05]   Mixed with a lot of cologne[3:31:07]   It's the smell[3:31:09]   Of a valet driver[3:31:11]   Yep he's been in your car[3:31:13]   Yo okay[3:31:15]   I gotta be honest with you[3:31:17]   Earlier we were talking about disagreements[3:31:19]   Uh oh[3:31:21]   I'm the hip hop head of the show[3:31:23]   I'm 37 years old[3:31:25]   I mean I gotta stop there[3:31:27]   I'm the hip hop head of the show[3:31:29]   37 years old it's not like a huge[3:31:31]   You know he thinks people are gonna hear[3:31:33]   He's 37 oh my god you're on YouTube[3:31:35]   You're 37 hip hop head[3:31:37]   Wow it's so weird[3:31:39]   How this hasn't been beaten out of Mike[3:31:41]   Yet[3:31:43]   People have made fun of him[3:31:45]   Enough[3:31:47]   To not want to bring this up anymore[3:31:49]   How many times are we gonna flip on[3:31:51]   Big Mike and he's saying the exact words[3:31:53]   We've been goofing on him for saying[3:31:55]   Forever and it's like[3:31:57]   And he's getting worse[3:31:59]   Yes exactly[3:32:01]   Usually you start cutting those words[3:32:03]   Out of your vocab after people have been saying[3:32:05]   Them so many times to you to make[3:32:07]   Fun of you[3:32:09]   But nope here he is the hip hop head[3:32:11]   Okay I gotta be honest with you[3:32:13]   Earlier we were talking about[3:32:15]   Disagreements[3:32:17]   I'm the hip hop head of the show[3:32:19]   I'm 37 years old[3:32:21]   I was around for Funk Flex the Tunnel[3:32:23]   When Jay said don't be the next contestant on the[3:32:25]   Summer Jam screen I was there in Nassau[3:32:27]   Like I'm that guy I'm that fucking guy[3:32:29]   That's Michael Jackson came out of that show[3:32:31]   Facts[3:32:33]   I don't think he was there[3:32:35]   Some of his friends were there I think[3:32:37]   This was a dream of him and his friends to go[3:32:39]   To this and yes you[3:32:41]   Lived there so you could say you went there[3:32:43]   If you saw Michael Jackson[3:32:45]   I'd be hearing about you[3:32:47]   Saying Michael Jackson right?[3:32:49]   That's like Denny the poker[3:32:51]   Wait you weren't that of him? Michael Jackson was there[3:32:53]   And Michael Jackson didn't do a ton[3:32:55]   Of fucking meet and greets back then[3:32:57]   I don't know if you remember that so[3:32:59]   I think we would hear some Michael Jackson[3:33:01]   Stories[3:33:03]   From Big Mike I've seen everything that's come out of[3:33:05]   Big Mike we've heard all his tales[3:33:07]   Nothing about Michael Jackson[3:33:09]   It's Summer Slam or wherever he was[3:33:11]   So I don't think he was there I think this happened[3:33:13]   He heard about it on the radio[3:33:15]   Wished he was this is like if I tell people[3:33:17]   I went to Woodstock 99[3:33:19]   I mean I'd probably get away with it[3:33:21]   Right?[3:33:23]   Like I could probably come on here my whole career[3:33:25]   And be like yeah I was[3:33:27]   At Woodstock 99 yeah I remember when[3:33:29]   Green Day did the[3:33:31]   You know they were throwing mud at him[3:33:33]   That was Woodstock 94 nigga[3:33:37]   But I could still get away with it right?[3:33:39]   And when he brought up the Michael[3:33:41]   Jackson thing he just went Fox and quickly[3:33:43]   Moved on[3:33:45]   Let's hear that again[3:33:47]   Fiction yes[3:33:49]   Fiction you got it[3:33:51]   I'm the hip hop head of the show I'm 37 years old[3:33:53]   I was around for Funk Flex the Tunnel[3:33:55]   When Jay said don't be the next contestant[3:33:57]   On the Summer Jam screen I was there in Nassau[3:33:59]   Like I'm that guy I'm that fucking guy[3:34:01]   See and he knows he could say it that way[3:34:03]   He was there at Nassau[3:34:05]   Meaning he was in the county[3:34:07]   Right?[3:34:09]   And see he has tricky ways him and[3:34:11]   Denny have tricky ways Do it again do it again[3:34:13]   Play it again Yeah listen to this[3:34:15]   Cause he's not saying he was at the concert[3:34:17]   I was there meaning[3:34:19]   I lived through this time[3:34:21]   That happened in my city[3:34:23]   But it makes people think[3:34:25]   Like he was actually there[3:34:27]   And then yeah Michael Jackson was there[3:34:29]   He could have easily said oh I wasn't[3:34:31]   Actually there but I mean I was there through this time[3:34:33]   He loves playing[3:34:35]   In that kind of space because[3:34:37]   You could kind of get away with anything[3:34:39]   If you phrase things that way[3:34:41]   Denny does it all the time[3:34:43]   Joe I'm 37 years old[3:34:45]   I was around for Funk Flex the Tunnel[3:34:47]   When Jay said don't be the next contestant[3:34:49]   On the Summer Jam screen I was there in Nassau[3:34:51]   Like I'm that guy I'm that fucking guy[3:34:53]   So you that's Michael Jackson came out at that show[3:34:55]   Facts[3:34:57]   I feel like Charlamagne knows something's up[3:34:59]   I feel like Charlamagne's out[3:35:01]   That was just an industry show[3:35:03]   I couldn't even get a ticket today[3:35:05]   And George is laughing in the background[3:35:07]   If you listen carefully[3:35:09]   Don't be the next contestant on the Summer Jam screen[3:35:11]   I was there in Nassau like I'm that guy[3:35:13]   I'm that fucking guy[3:35:15]   That's Michael Jackson came out at that show[3:35:17]   What is it?[3:35:19]   This one[3:35:21]   Okay[3:35:23]   This is like[3:35:25]   Aw man[3:35:27]   Nigga lying right to my face huh?[3:35:29]   Alright[3:35:31]   I let him lie[3:35:33]   That's what that look is[3:35:35]   Wow[3:35:37]   That's why I feel bad for black people[3:35:39]   That's why I feel bad for black people[3:35:41]   They got to put up with all this crap[3:35:43]   Right Jules?[3:35:45]   Hi brother[3:35:47]   Hi homie[3:35:49]   Hey fellow[3:35:51]   And they're just gonna eat it all up[3:35:53]   Alright[3:35:55]   Politics is a new thing[3:35:57]   People yelling at each other about Trump and Obama[3:35:59]   That shit's new[3:36:01]   Back in that day you were either[3:36:03]   Team Ether or Team Takeover[3:36:05]   Ho[3:36:07]   You're really setting the scene[3:36:09]   Is this really what a black person[3:36:11]   wants to hear about his favorite days[3:36:13]   of hip hop?[3:36:15]   Oh you were sharing this shit with me too nigga?[3:36:17]   Damn[3:36:19]   It kind of ruins the nostalgia[3:36:21]   Right? Like I don't want to share this[3:36:23]   with Big Mike I thought I was being a homie[3:36:25]   He's a black guy listening to[3:36:27]   Jay Z and his ether[3:36:29]   But no it turns out this dip shit was doing it too[3:36:31]   So I was doing the same thing as some corny ass[3:36:33]   white. Great[3:36:35]   Well look at that[3:36:37]   Politics is a new thing[3:36:39]   People yelling at each other about Trump and Obama[3:36:41]   That shit's new[3:36:43]   Back in that day you were either Team Ether[3:36:45]   or Team Takeover[3:36:47]   And you could tell[3:36:49]   that was like a line that he had[3:36:51]   rehearsed in his head[3:36:53]   You know every intro of Impulsive[3:36:55]   The first 30 minutes of every Impulsive[3:36:57]   is Mike poorly[3:36:59]   acting out his[3:37:01]   fantasies that he had rehearsed[3:37:03]   in his head the morning of the show over[3:37:05]   and over again. I know how this works[3:37:07]   as a hostess[3:37:09]   You go in the shower you're thinking about what you're gonna say[3:37:11]   But if you're bad[3:37:13]   and you're like an amateur and you're not a good[3:37:15]   actor the more you[3:37:17]   rehearse the more that could actually[3:37:19]   backfire on you. Right? Because you're not[3:37:21]   a good actor. You gotta be a good actor[3:37:23]   Rehearsal means nothing unless[3:37:25]   you're a good actor. Right? At the end[3:37:27]   of the day. So when you're rehearsing[3:37:29]   these lines you can tell this is what[3:37:31]   Mike's doing. He rehearses, rehearses. He's got it all[3:37:33]   sounded out in his head. He's hearing the laughs[3:37:35]   from the other guys[3:37:37]   He's seeing it go down[3:37:39]   Right? But because he's such a bad actor[3:37:41]   he's got no talent[3:37:43]   He comes on here and tries to do it while still[3:37:45]   being nervous and then it just comes out[3:37:47]   all shitty. Right? It's not the way he[3:37:49]   imagined it. Like he's reading it. Yeah, exactly[3:37:51]   Just because he's[3:37:53]   not good enough at this yet[3:37:55]   So that's what I see here[3:37:57]   That's what I see. I see him[3:37:59]   practicing the speech at his head[3:38:01]   and having it delivered naturally[3:38:03]   but because he has over-rehearsed[3:38:05]   it so many times[3:38:07]   it can't come out as anything but like very[3:38:09]   corny and very cringe[3:38:11]   Same on Charlemagne for allowing[3:38:13]   a white man to ask you this and you know what?[3:38:15]   Behind Mike's back, Charlemagne[3:38:17]   will use this as an example[3:38:19]   of secret racism[3:38:21]   Like you'll hear Charlemagne[3:38:23]   if Charlemagne's with like another brother and they're doing[3:38:25]   their deep dive on subtle[3:38:27]   racism they're talking about Big Mike's character[3:38:29]   all night and day[3:38:31]   So why don't you say something now Charlemagne[3:38:33]   Cause I'd appreciate it if you[3:38:35]   said something right now to their face but no[3:38:37]   they fall in fucking love. Watch this[3:38:39]   Back in that day[3:38:41]   you were either Team Ether or Team[3:38:43]   Takeover. You were Team Jay or Team[3:38:45]   Nas. I really[3:38:47]   I prepped for this interview today[3:38:49]   more than Logan's face[3:38:51]   Logan was like[3:38:53]   Team Nas[3:38:55]   I really[3:38:57]   Awww[3:38:59]   Dude[3:39:01]   Even I know Jay Z[3:39:03]   vs Nas is so stupid[3:39:05]   dog. Shit[3:39:07]   Dude[3:39:09]   Like that's all you remember dog?[3:39:11]   What about Logan[3:39:13]   for KSI?[3:39:15]   Dude[3:39:17]   Like this is Logan[3:39:19]   This is going to be Logan with you. Watch this[3:39:21]   Watch this. Dude bro[3:39:23]   To be honest[3:39:25]   Like for 15 years[3:39:27]   You keep talking about like Jay Z and Nas[3:39:29]   Dude I never even heard that[3:39:31]   If I was to be honest man I don't even know what the fuck[3:39:33]   you're talking about. Ether and shit[3:39:35]   He's that white[3:39:37]   He's that white. Like he's one of those guys[3:39:39]   where secretly you know it's like[3:39:41]   We don't really like rap[3:39:43]   You ever met a guy like that? I had an era[3:39:45]   I'm going to out someone. Listen to this[3:39:47]   This was an interesting time[3:39:49]   Rock Raps Harder this year[3:39:51]   Remember Eminem came out[3:39:53]   Eminem got a lot of white people into rap[3:39:55]   that didn't really listen to rap[3:39:57]   And so there's like a lot of kids[3:39:59]   that only would listen to Eminem[3:40:01]   but they didn't listen to any other rap[3:40:03]   He was my friend[3:40:05]   And he loved Eminem. This kid[3:40:07]   Brian[3:40:09]   Brian was part of our big friendship[3:40:11]   group. We all had[3:40:13]   We were all like bad kids[3:40:15]   Everybody listened to rap[3:40:17]   Everybody bad[3:40:19]   I'm in his car one day[3:40:21]   and we put on Biggie[3:40:23]   I put on Biggie[3:40:25]   And literally[3:40:27]   like 30 seconds in he goes[3:40:29]   Dude I can do Eminem but I can't really do this[3:40:31]   Relax[3:40:33]   Really? And there are[3:40:35]   Lala. I'm going to tell you[3:40:37]   There are a lot of cracker ass guys out there[3:40:39]   And really that's how they talk[3:40:41]   I'll bust them for you[3:40:43]   They do that and Lala have you ever[3:40:45]   met those guys?[3:40:47]   They're like afraid of some rappers too[3:40:49]   You know[3:40:51]   I know a couple people like that don't you?[3:40:53]   You know a couple people like that[3:40:55]   Huh?[3:40:57]   Couple people you might be related to[3:40:59]   That are like that[3:41:01]   You can tell there's some people there's a line[3:41:03]   of how black[3:41:05]   the artist could be for them[3:41:07]   Really? And I think Logan[3:41:09]   is one of those people who has that line[3:41:11]   secretly him and brother Jake[3:41:13]   Logan Moore show[3:41:15]   Alright. Well let's see how Mike[3:41:17]   handles this. How will Mike[3:41:19]   show Charlamagne the God that he[3:41:21]   is tapped into the hip hop world[3:41:23]   He's like Adam 22[3:41:25]   level type of[3:41:27]   Jay Z and Biggie Nas[3:41:29]   I'm Adam 22[3:41:31]   I'm Felicia the Goat[3:41:33]   No he's not even like that[3:41:35]   He thinks he's more like a Megan[3:41:37]   the Stallion. He thinks that's like a name drop[3:41:39]   to show that he's[3:41:41]   into hip hop you know[3:41:43]   Megan the Stallion yeah?[3:41:45]   Nobody beats her. Queen right there[3:41:47]   Adam 22[3:41:49]   Killer. Killer. Those are big names in hip hop[3:41:51]   Okay[3:41:53]   Yeah. Here[3:41:55]   Team J or Team Nas[3:41:57]   I really[3:41:59]   I prepped for this interview today[3:42:01]   more than every other[3:42:03]   one of the 400[3:42:05]   shows we have done Arnold Schwarzenegger[3:42:07]   Ben Shapiro, Alex Jones[3:42:09]   crazy shows. This is my[3:42:11]   lane. I want to pick your fucking brain[3:42:13]   Oh is he wearing those clothes?[3:42:15]   Warren Lotus[3:42:17]   Wow. He copied me[3:42:19]   But is that[3:42:21]   Warren Lotus?[3:42:23]   No. He probably got off Instagram as a fake[3:42:25]   It's probably a fake[3:42:27]   Don't[3:42:29]   be ripping off fucking Warren Lotus[3:42:31]   stuff man. Don't do it okay?[3:42:33]   I have some respect for that[3:42:35]   guy you know? He really went[3:42:37]   out of his way to give you some[3:42:39]   screen printing[3:42:41]   It's nice. It is nice. I don't like this[3:42:43]   Lakers stuff though. I don't like sports[3:42:45]   stuff. I don't like sports clothes[3:42:47]   at all. It's cheap looking[3:42:49]   and you want to tell people like this[3:42:51]   People like that they get confused. They don't understand[3:42:53]   Sports clothes are not cool[3:42:55]   Sports clothes make you look poor[3:42:57]   You know? They really do[3:42:59]   They make you look invisible[3:43:01]   But it's even worse[3:43:03]   Nothing worse than sports clothes or anything[3:43:05]   related to a sports team. You put that on[3:43:07]   I hope you don't feel like[3:43:09]   that's cool[3:43:11]   It looks[3:43:13]   There are really bad people wearing your same[3:43:15]   shirt. That's all I want to say[3:43:17]   Let's do it. Because that's your space right?[3:43:19]   That's my culture[3:43:21]   Can you believe how he's talking to him?[3:43:23]   That's your space right?[3:43:25]   Oh yeah that's my culture[3:43:27]   And it's like you want to pick his brain on what?[3:43:29]   You just want to tell him[3:43:31]   You're black right?[3:43:33]   Jay-Z jiggy[3:43:35]   For shizzle right?[3:43:37]   And pick his brain about what? You just want to tell him[3:43:39]   how cool you are[3:43:41]   Pick his brain about what?[3:43:43]   Jay-Z and Nas are you fucking kidding me?[3:43:45]   Why don't you just ask without this huge[3:43:47]   Nas sucks[3:43:51]   But he did one[3:43:53]   good song and I can't fucking even[3:43:55]   repeat it because the lyric is[3:43:57]   so vicious. How does it go? I really can't[3:43:59]   repeat it because I forgot[3:44:01]   It's hotter than July[3:44:03]   It's the summer when niggas die[3:44:05]   It's the summer when niggas cry[3:44:07]   But it's the summer when niggas try[3:44:09]   That to me is corny[3:44:11]   Sorry Nas[3:44:13]   It's hotter than July[3:44:15]   I wrote that one probably[3:44:17]   I mean[3:44:19]   Nas to me. I've given Nas so many[3:44:21]   chances. I didn't even like Nas when[3:44:23]   he was at his best. I'll admit it[3:44:25]   I'll admit it. I'll admit it[3:44:27]   That's from a measly[3:44:29]   parody of Drake[3:44:31]   Okay let's hear some more. But look how he's talking[3:44:33]   to him man[3:44:35]   And listen to how Charlamagne goes[3:44:37]   Oh my culture[3:44:39]   Culture too[3:44:45]   Pick your fucking brain about hip hop[3:44:47]   Let's do it. Because that's your space right?[3:44:49]   That's my culture[3:44:51]   What was the golden[3:44:53]   era of hip hop?[3:44:55]   What kind of question is this?[3:44:57]   What is the best SOG?[3:44:59]   See I know hip hop[3:45:01]   I know the good questions to ask[3:45:03]   Golden era! Which is what they[3:45:05]   call eras of hip hop that were good[3:45:09]   Andy said he did so much research[3:45:11]   Look at George. George is like well[3:45:13]   This is gonna suck[3:45:15]   Well why don't you tell him about how he's not being genuine[3:45:19]   And where is your[3:45:21]   money bro?[3:45:23]   Collecting dust[3:45:25]   Use it![3:45:27]   Okay let's see. Golden was[3:45:29]   my favorite. You know you can[3:45:31]   refuse to answer questions[3:45:33]   Does anybody know that[3:45:35]   that's an option out there?[3:45:37]   You watch all these shows they[3:45:39]   answer every question[3:45:41]   Can't anybody ever go shut up[3:45:43]   Next question[3:45:45]   Early 2000s[3:45:47]   50 cent drops get rich[3:45:49]   Potentially perfect album[3:45:51]   Jay drops blueprint[3:45:53]   Nas is going crazy. Kanye's starting to show[3:45:55]   his face. Can you see through this?[3:45:57]   Shouldn't you be like[3:45:59]   Please stop talking about my culture[3:46:01]   like that[3:46:03]   But no instead[3:46:05]   you're gonna play with the white man like this[3:46:07]   Disgusting. So you got a romance for these[3:46:09]   tall whites. It's apparent now[3:46:11]   Is that the golden era of hip hop?[3:46:13]   Well I'm older so I'm 44. I was born in[3:46:15]   1978. That's another gun[3:46:17]   number. 44[3:46:19]   Got 2244[3:46:21]   What other numbers[3:46:23]   of gun calibers will[3:46:25]   we see today?[3:46:27]   I bet you we'll see about a couple more[3:46:29]   Any more on my screen[3:46:31]   right now?[3:46:33]   There's a six[3:46:35]   Some guns hold[3:46:37]   Six bullets[3:46:39]   So for me[3:46:41]   the golden era of hip hop would probably be[3:46:43]   like[3:46:45]   1994[3:46:47]   Early Nas just getting into Biggie[3:46:49]   and shit. Everything Nas to you[3:46:51]   I think[3:46:53]   I liked hip hop at 94. Early Nas then?[3:46:57]   Please tell me it's Nas[3:46:59]   related love[3:47:01]   Early Nas?[3:47:03]   Oh no actually like Nas[3:47:05]   Because Nas isn't the only rap person right?[3:47:07]   You know that right?[3:47:09]   Ahh[3:47:11]   Big guy?[3:47:15]   Oh you're making a face like somebody poopsied[3:47:19]   1994[3:47:21]   Big Nas. Early Nas[3:47:23]   just getting into Biggie and shit[3:47:25]   That's when Wu Tang first came out and Nas[3:47:27]   just came out and Biggie[3:47:29]   and like you know Wu Tang forever[3:47:31]   Oh sure you've heard of Wu Tang[3:47:33]   Camp Click[3:47:35]   and OutKast and[3:47:37]   Goodie Mob you know what I mean?[3:47:39]   That 1900s era was like[3:47:41]   that 1994 era was very very[3:47:43]   very very special[3:47:45]   Because I saw your 2018[3:47:47]   top 5[3:47:49]   Who was it? Oh no[3:47:51]   So this is again[3:47:53]   I saw your[3:47:55]   2018[3:47:57]   top 5[3:47:59]   It's not a way to have a conversation. If somebody was[3:48:01]   talking to me via some notes[3:48:03]   No no no no no no no[3:48:05]   The phone must be away in a pouch[3:48:07]   By the way we caught on Kill Tony[3:48:09]   Look at this Kill Tony[3:48:11]   makes you put your[3:48:13]   phone in a locked[3:48:15]   pouch and we found this[3:48:17]   because one of the[3:48:19]   contestants there[3:48:21]   they wanted to call his mom[3:48:23]   you know that's so funny[3:48:25]   and they had to come with the pouch and[3:48:27]   unzip the guy's phone and unlock[3:48:29]   it for him[3:48:31]   and then I'm going wait wait wait wait[3:48:33]   I thought this locked up phone[3:48:35]   pouch was so that we don't record[3:48:37]   and burn your[3:48:39]   material that's how it was[3:48:41]   sold to us you come to my[3:48:43]   show you can't film because[3:48:45]   my material this is what I[3:48:47]   live off of course I'm filming I'm working on[3:48:49]   a special I don't want my material out there[3:48:51]   so we said okay sure[3:48:53]   not me of course but they did[3:48:55]   Why though[3:48:57]   is Kill Tony[3:48:59]   locking up phones for an open[3:49:01]   mic?[3:49:03]   Someone said they've been doing that ever since[3:49:05]   yeah dang exactly[3:49:07]   so Tony just doesn't want to get busted[3:49:09]   how free speech is that[3:49:11]   so[3:49:13]   he's saying stuff he edits that out[3:49:15]   of the YouTube version obviously[3:49:17]   why can't you have your phone there[3:49:19]   if the whole thing's being taped anyway and it's being[3:49:21]   broadcast there's people there why[3:49:23]   can't I tape it too[3:49:25]   unless you're[3:49:27]   trying to hide some words which isn't[3:49:29]   very free speech[3:49:31]   and cool[3:49:33]   you know so I'm sick of Tony being like[3:49:35]   ah yes hello the legion of skanks I[3:49:37]   am your savior[3:49:39]   you're not our[3:49:41]   savior I want there to be a dangerous[3:49:43]   event where a ton of[3:49:45]   people die and get injured[3:49:47]   enough said you sold me on[3:49:49]   dangerous event because their phones[3:49:51]   are locked away and they can't call for help[3:49:53]   oh that is my dream[3:49:55]   for a Joe Rogan, Dave Chappelle, Tony[3:49:57]   Hinchcliffe, Peng Dang show[3:49:59]   and everyone's got their phones locked[3:50:01]   up and they've I don't know[3:50:03]   why school shooters don't first do this you put[3:50:05]   the simple dimple[3:50:07]   $5 chain $2[3:50:09]   padlock around every door[3:50:11]   believe me that's enough to make these people go[3:50:13]   bananas[3:50:15]   lock them in their phones are all[3:50:17]   fucking locked the fire is[3:50:19]   coming up to their fucking ankles[3:50:21]   there's nowhere else to[3:50:23]   go the doors are locked and[3:50:25]   uh oh here come those weird screw[3:50:27]   bombs I made at home[3:50:29]   and no one can[3:50:31]   call the cops because[3:50:33]   Joe Rogan couldn't possibly have the[3:50:35]   word dude the[3:50:37]   chink get out oh no[3:50:39]   so I you can't[3:50:41]   really be bragging about[3:50:43]   how badass[3:50:45]   you are you know when believe me if[3:50:47]   you've seen Tony on legion of skanks this[3:50:49]   would really start clicking how like all the[3:50:51]   legion of skanks fans look up to Tony[3:50:53]   as if he's like paved the way[3:50:55]   to be able to continue[3:50:57]   to tell racist jokes[3:50:59]   you know yes and what's[3:51:01]   stopping sorry I'm reading the chat but what's stopping[3:51:03]   you from just bringing two phones[3:51:05]   I've never understood this here's how it works[3:51:07]   watch this uh Jules you pretend you're[3:51:09]   security and I'm coming to the to the[3:51:11]   concert hey give me[3:51:13]   your phone for the yonder pouch[3:51:15]   oh I'm sorry I don't have a phone[3:51:17]   ha[3:51:19]   you know how can they prove you have a phone[3:51:21]   even if I had a phone[3:51:23]   say you it's like[3:51:25]   what do you do jury duty to you just show[3:51:27]   up[3:51:29]   I've never understood why anybody[3:51:31]   would do jury duty in their lives[3:51:33]   unless whatever jury duty[3:51:35]   pays is more fun[3:51:37]   whatever jury duty does is more fun than[3:51:39]   what you would be doing anyway to me jury duty[3:51:41]   is the same thing as being arrested[3:51:43]   if you're[3:51:45]   in a courtroom what does it matter[3:51:47]   which character you are you're in the[3:51:49]   same place I'm in the[3:51:51]   same place as a criminal this is why I've never understood[3:51:53]   prison guards why would you[3:51:55]   want to be in jail[3:51:57]   you're going to jail for free[3:51:59]   by yourself you're[3:52:01]   wanting to so I don't[3:52:03]   go to court rooms[3:52:05]   would you want to be on trial[3:52:07]   defending yourself it's the[3:52:09]   same thing as being the juror you see it's the same[3:52:11]   thing as being in the stands the same thing as being the janitor[3:52:13]   they're all in[3:52:15]   the same room for the[3:52:17]   same amount of hours[3:52:19]   why would you want to do that[3:52:21]   so if you don't get out of jury duty[3:52:23]   to me I go well you either[3:52:25]   just enjoy it or you're[3:52:27]   completely retarded and then when I see[3:52:29]   like people who give their phones[3:52:31]   to those lock boxes just simply[3:52:33]   tell them you look here watch this[3:52:35]   sir can I have your phone[3:52:37]   uh no no no say it to me[3:52:39]   sir can I have your phone I[3:52:41]   left it in the car because I know you guys take phones so I didn't[3:52:43]   even bother bringing it thank you[3:52:45]   what are they going to do strip you fucking[3:52:47]   naked[3:52:49]   if you're not filming the act you're seeing[3:52:51]   against[3:52:53]   they're asking you to not[3:52:55]   film then you're gay[3:52:57]   I'm sorry what are you there to enjoy[3:52:59]   this guy you should be there[3:53:01]   to film it to hurt them[3:53:03]   alright let's see we're going back to this this is[3:53:05]   Big Mike Charlemagne but I can't believe[3:53:07]   Tony yeah I can't believe he's taking phones[3:53:09]   that's fucking rude[3:53:11]   and I just can't believe you guys[3:53:13]   gave in to this you could say[3:53:15]   no they depend[3:53:17]   on you take charge[3:53:19]   alright here we go[3:53:21]   um[3:53:23]   Charlemagne Big Mike it's[3:53:25]   Biggie it's Nas the golden[3:53:27]   era it's goodie mob[3:53:29]   it's[3:53:31]   nah nah nah it's ludicrous[3:53:33]   right I think uh Nelly[3:53:35]   who else have you heard from[3:53:37]   the radio my top five[3:53:39]   hasn't changed so what was it[3:53:41]   Ghostface Jay[3:53:43]   Nas Scarface[3:53:45]   Killer Mike an honorable mention[3:53:47]   would be TI and Jeezy[3:53:49]   Killer Mike from[3:53:51]   Bill Maher[3:53:53]   that's by the way I hope Killer Mike[3:53:55]   I hope you know that[3:53:57]   you're the guy from Bill[3:53:59]   Maher to me[3:54:01]   you're not[3:54:03]   run the jewel and by the way does run the[3:54:05]   jewels have a white guy in it[3:54:07]   yeah then it ain't wrapped[3:54:09]   sorry[3:54:11]   you know what run the jewels[3:54:13]   to me is the gorillas which I[3:54:15]   know you people like now all of a sudden[3:54:17]   and uh they've tricked you[3:54:19]   and you know what else is to me it's[3:54:21]   there's something a little off and I[3:54:23]   don't like that Killer Mike at all[3:54:25]   I don't like him at all[3:54:27]   uh and he's always[3:54:29]   protesting so[3:54:31]   no Killer Mike is not cool[3:54:33]   sorry guys you gotta go over[3:54:35]   and by the way I don't mean any of this[3:54:37]   this is just[3:54:39]   I was thinking if I was a listener and I heard this[3:54:41]   and I was really into Killer Mike[3:54:43]   why doesn't he like Killer Mike? I don't fucking know[3:54:45]   I'm just yelling about stuff[3:54:47]   you know what I mean I really have no[3:54:49]   I'm sure he's done[3:54:51]   a great thing for you you gotta[3:54:53]   say how terrible he is though[3:54:55]   you understand? I don't think he's that amazing[3:54:57]   he gives you like a[3:54:59]   he's fake[3:55:01]   when you're listening to him you don't name yourself Killer[3:55:03]   I'm sorry I'm sorry listen[3:55:05]   um imagine if I called[3:55:07]   myself Killer Mike[3:55:09]   how about that?[3:55:11]   there's no cringe if you're block[3:55:13]   they've escaped cringe[3:55:15]   Killer Mike you're Killer Mike[3:55:17]   that's cool though oh cool hi I'm[3:55:19]   murderer Steven[3:55:21]   I'm serial rapist Steve[3:55:23]   that's not funny to me[3:55:25]   mimic a murderer[3:55:27]   yup and you still stand by[3:55:29]   I still stand on that[3:55:31]   and so you can you can[3:55:33]   you're reading his phone look at this[3:55:35]   so you can you can you can you can[3:55:37]   you can you can[3:55:39]   that's not a conversation[3:55:41]   it's a reading ignore[3:55:43]   this is this was the hard[3:55:45]   one for me to swallow you can ignore Pac[3:55:47]   completely pause[3:55:49]   um you can call him to Pac[3:55:51]   I understand I hate shortening[3:55:53]   for industry[3:55:55]   the real people in the new industry[3:55:57]   call it by the long name[3:55:59]   that's how you know[3:56:01]   the posers[3:56:03]   call it by the shortened name[3:56:05]   so like in industry[3:56:07]   like Brian Callan[3:56:09]   I'd be like oh yeah yeah yeah[3:56:11]   like if they're talking about Game of Thrones[3:56:13]   it's not called Game of Thrones to Callan[3:56:15]   oh yeah my buddy worked on[3:56:17]   Thrones[3:56:19]   you understand?[3:56:21]   he's shortening real assholes[3:56:23]   who aren't actually[3:56:25]   big shots in the industry they shorten[3:56:27]   okay if you're really[3:56:29]   a cool guy you don't call him Pac[3:56:31]   you go Tupac[3:56:33]   Shakur[3:56:37]   his name wasn't Pac[3:56:39]   his name isn't Yay[3:56:41]   his name isn't Jay[3:56:43]   it's not Big E[3:56:45]   those are the nicknames his friends[3:56:47]   were allowed to call him[3:56:49]   that you overheard in their tales[3:56:51]   via the raps[3:56:53]   those weren't names for you to call them[3:56:55]   I hope you know that[3:56:57]   you know I call Jules my wife[3:56:59]   that doesn't mean you could call her my wife[3:57:01]   his wife[3:57:03]   you're not a wife to you[3:57:05]   well thanks[3:57:09]   get a wife[3:57:11]   but[3:57:13]   yes because that's my personal[3:57:15]   opinion[3:57:17]   that's not an objective list if I did an objective list[3:57:19]   Pac would be on there[3:57:21]   with my personal top 5 top 7[3:57:23]   yes that's my personal top 7[3:57:25]   based on lyrics or based on how you feel[3:57:27]   what is that list built off of[3:57:29]   a little bit of everything[3:57:31]   lyrics[3:57:33]   storytelling, impact of the music[3:57:37]   music provides soundtracks to your life[3:57:39]   when we think about these songs[3:57:41]   all of these songs that we love[3:57:43]   we have memories attached to them[3:57:45]   there's probably a slow song that you like[3:57:47]   because that's the first time you busted a night[3:57:49]   you could think about the prom[3:57:51]   you was dancing with a young lady[3:57:53]   all of us got different moments that we got[3:57:55]   music attached to[3:57:57]   so those people right there are names[3:57:59]   I got memories attached to all of that[3:58:01]   all of that music[3:58:03]   and I want to ask you about this too[3:58:05]   you look back at Pac[3:58:09]   you look back at Pac[3:58:11]   something you didn't look back at[3:58:13]   weren't we like[3:58:15]   8 years old?[3:58:17]   you're younger than me[3:58:19]   I'm sorry, Tupac[3:58:21]   you weren't[3:58:23]   lining up with the age of[3:58:25]   everybody that mourned Tupac's[3:58:27]   death, bro[3:58:29]   you weren't there yet[3:58:31]   you watched other people do that[3:58:33]   and now you're[3:58:35]   reliving the cool[3:58:37]   kid's high school life[3:58:39]   as your own[3:58:41]   I just know that's true[3:58:43]   this is probably[3:58:45]   mid 90s[3:58:47]   25, 30 years before[3:58:49]   Row View 8 is the center of all[3:58:51]   conversation, we're talking about a song called[3:58:53]   Keep Your Head Up[3:58:55]   talking about a song called Keep Your Head Up[3:58:59]   you shouldn't have to read all this, Charlamagne's not[3:59:01]   reading all this from a pad of notes[3:59:03]   I thought you were a hip hop head[3:59:05]   I'm a hip hop head![3:59:07]   that's what I was going to say before, he said he did the most[3:59:09]   research, but the only thing he's said[3:59:11]   so far is just[3:59:13]   listing hip hop events[3:59:15]   mainstream hip hop events[3:59:17]   that anyone who watched the MTV Movie[3:59:19]   Awards could[3:59:21]   retell[3:59:23]   if you're so 37, why did you have to do so much research?[3:59:25]   shouldn't you just know this?[3:59:27]   and I don't understand why he thinks this is like[3:59:29]   impressing[3:59:31]   a subset of the underground[3:59:33]   and you read his[3:59:35]   top 5 list off your phone[3:59:37]   so you didn't memorize that either[3:59:39]   exactly[3:59:41]   Biggie[3:59:43]   Nas[3:59:45]   Young Hov[3:59:47]   when he said[3:59:49]   y'all know when the flow is loco[3:59:51]   how did that make you feel?[3:59:53]   that's like what he said[3:59:55]   I wish he said that[3:59:57]   of course, yeah, that would be fucking[3:59:59]   funny[4:00:01]   Young Hov, y'all know[4:00:03]   wait[4:00:05]   Young Hov, y'all[4:00:07]   know when the flow is loco[4:00:09]   Young V[4:00:11]   in the ROC[4:00:13]   thoughts?[4:00:19]   I don't think that's the type of lyrics[4:00:21]   that transform a young[4:00:23]   Charlemagne[4:00:25]   let's find out, let's see what happens[4:00:27]   yeah this is great, oh he's making that little face[4:00:29]   again[4:00:31]   oh god[4:00:33]   yikes man, he really does look like his sister[4:00:35]   Hey Big Dyke[4:00:37]   who I'd like to get, I wish we could see a[4:00:39]   reunion of her soon, I miss Hey Big Dyke[4:00:41]   and we got some usernames with this[4:00:43]   Hey Big Dyke, a lot of Scars Club members[4:00:45]   Hey Big Dyke, his sister looks[4:00:47]   just like him, so we call it, and it's a girl[4:00:49]   Hey Big Dyke, get it?[4:00:51]   mid-90s[4:00:53]   25[4:00:55]   30 years before Roe v. Wade is[4:00:57]   the center of all conversation[4:00:59]   we're talking about a song called Keep Your Head Up[4:01:01]   time to heal our women, be real[4:01:03]   to our women, and if we don't[4:01:05]   we'll have a race of babies that will hate the ladies[4:01:07]   that make the babies, and since a man can't make[4:01:09]   one, he has no right to tell a woman[4:01:11]   when and where to create one[4:01:13]   like bro, bro[4:01:15]   yeah, yeah, Paco's that guy[4:01:17]   that guy, which Twitter post[4:01:19]   reminded you of this[4:01:21]   you know what I mean, it's like, this didn't come[4:01:23]   to him, this was definitely[4:01:25]   on Twitter during all this abortion[4:01:27]   talk, right, and now it's[4:01:29]   his finding[4:01:31]   and his[4:01:33]   example of this[4:01:35]   and is that really bro,[4:01:37]   bro to you, like when you read that[4:01:39]   are you actually having, that's what I[4:01:41]   like, is he actually[4:01:43]   I don't know, I mean, I just can't[4:01:45]   imagine, I just can't imagine being that[4:01:47]   blown away, I wouldn't care, when Tupac[4:01:49]   used to sing to me, I would go, brother[4:01:51]   it sounds like gangbanger music[4:01:53]   and I'd turn the other way, I can't relate to any of that[4:01:55]   Tupac is a gangbanger[4:01:57]   so[4:01:59]   yeah, I don't like that stuff[4:02:01]   so no, and I wouldn't say[4:02:03]   bro, I would say police[4:02:05]   police[4:02:07]   like bro[4:02:09]   bro[4:02:11]   Logan's like, when Logan[4:02:13]   starts playing with his fingernails[4:02:15]   that's when you know he couldn't give a[4:02:17]   fuck, and[4:02:19]   I'm surprised, like Logan is so dumb that I'm[4:02:21]   surprised he goes, man, okay, now[4:02:23]   you guys are done with all this like stupid[4:02:25]   black stuff that I can, oh, I mean, ah[4:02:27]   ha ha ha, you know, he's[4:02:29]   almost that stupid that you would think he would say[4:02:31]   something like that, alright, so let's see[4:02:33]   bro, we're in the middle of a couple of[4:02:35]   bros, bro[4:02:37]   when and where to create one, like bro[4:02:39]   bro[4:02:41]   yeah, yeah, Pac was that guy[4:02:43]   one more bro, I didn't appreciate Pac[4:02:45]   when he was alive because he was dissing everybody that I liked[4:02:47]   but he was dissing Biggie[4:02:49]   he was dissing my balls, what do you mean yeah[4:02:51]   yeah yeah, as if that's what your experience[4:02:53]   was too, you didn't hear Tupac[4:02:55]   until after he was dead[4:02:57]   okay, six year old white kids[4:02:59]   did not listen to Tupac[4:03:01]   he had to be seven[4:03:03]   he was dissing, ah, he was dissing Jay[4:03:05]   so I liked all of them, you know what I mean, so I was like, who is[4:03:07]   this guy, like, if it was wrestling, like, Pac[4:03:09]   was the ultimate heel, like there was[4:03:11]   no, and that's what Big Mike forgets, it really[4:03:13]   makes his whole East Coast hip-hop[4:03:15]   story fall all apart because everybody[4:03:17]   on the East Coast during that time hated[4:03:19]   Tupac[4:03:21]   he was from the rival gang, nobody[4:03:23]   liked Tupac until like two, in[4:03:25]   New York until like five years after[4:03:27]   his death and their moms came out[4:03:29]   at like the MTV[4:03:31]   award show and made amends[4:03:33]   like, if you're from New York[4:03:35]   you did not like Tupac[4:03:37]   during that time, so it's kind of[4:03:39]   weird, Big Mike being this[4:03:41]   born and raised East Coast hip-hop[4:03:43]   guy, well what's he doing listening to[4:03:45]   Tupac on the side here, you know[4:03:47]   that ain't the same thing[4:03:49]   like, yo, who is this guy, like, if it was wrestling[4:03:51]   like, Pac was the ultimate heel[4:03:53]   like, there was no greater heel than Tupac[4:03:55]   like, he didn't give a flying fuck[4:03:57]   and he, like, really backed up[4:03:59]   everything that he used to rap about, like[4:04:01]   Pac shot two tops back in the day[4:04:03]   people forget that, you know what I mean[4:04:05]   oh, that's uh, okay, so you look[4:04:07]   Logan, he can't believe it, here's another[4:04:09]   very white Logan moment[4:04:11]   listen to[4:04:13]   this shows how white[4:04:15]   Logan is, now remember when Logan[4:04:17]   did the suicide forest, he was like banished[4:04:19]   from society for four years[4:04:21]   now watch this, and all Logan[4:04:23]   so, Logan does suicide forest[4:04:25]   banished, any time Logan's[4:04:27]   name's brought up, people are like, you should be[4:04:29]   fucking killed, like, hundreds and[4:04:31]   thousands of people say this[4:04:33]   so, all[4:04:35]   Logan's ever heard about Tupac is how amazing[4:04:37]   he is, well loved[4:04:39]   by everybody, right, he's grown up his whole life[4:04:41]   but he doesn't really know anything[4:04:43]   about Tupac because of his racism, right[4:04:45]   so listen to this, watch Logan[4:04:47]   if it was wrestling, like, Pac was the ultimate heel[4:04:49]   like, there was no greater[4:04:51]   heel than Tupac, like, he didn't give a[4:04:53]   flying fuck, and he, like, really[4:04:55]   backed up everything that he used to rap[4:04:57]   about, like, Pac shot two cops[4:04:59]   back in the day, people forget[4:05:01]   you know what I mean, he shot[4:05:03]   two off duty cops, he saw these[4:05:05]   off duty cops harassing somebody and he[4:05:07]   intervened, ended up shooting[4:05:09]   both of them, you know what I mean, so it's just like[4:05:11]   Pac really was, how did he get off of that[4:05:13]   I forgot how[4:05:15]   he got off, I think Logan is[4:05:17]   very confused, right[4:05:19]   wait, he shot two cops[4:05:21]   but everyone says they love him[4:05:23]   this is[4:05:25]   true?[4:05:29]   I mean, really, this is the guy who[4:05:31]   can't live down accidentally[4:05:33]   approaching[4:05:35]   a dead body that he shot[4:05:37]   and[4:05:39]   Tupac made[4:05:41]   two dead bodies with guns[4:05:43]   and Logan's never heard a bad word[4:05:45]   about the man, so, he's a little[4:05:47]   confused right now, huh[4:05:49]   I don't remember, but[4:05:51]   I rock a really hot track at everybody's house[4:05:57]   look at his face[4:05:59]   I give up, I mean, he's like[4:06:01]   personally bothered by this[4:06:03]   watch Logan's face right here[4:06:09]   fuck[4:06:11]   it's like he just found out the world was fake[4:06:13]   Pokemon doesn't exist[4:06:15]   he's really hurt by[4:06:17]   that, he's really hurt[4:06:19]   this is like a lot happening[4:06:21]   in his mind over this[4:06:23]   yeah, you know what, I like Tupac a lot[4:06:25]   cause he always just like, you know, he shot[4:06:27]   Tupaleef and he just like, owned it[4:06:29]   okay, but[4:06:31]   meanwhile like Charlamagne's like on my[4:06:33]   ass for using the wrong[4:06:35]   pronoun about like some black[4:06:37]   chick[4:06:39]   it's insane[4:06:41]   I would say shooting[4:06:43]   to anybody[4:06:45]   is a lot worse than the stuff[4:06:47]   Charlamagne gets all uppity about every day[4:06:49]   on Twitter, so[4:06:51]   yeah, that's why Logan's a bit[4:06:53]   perturbed[4:06:55]   poor Logan, he's always just trying to understand[4:06:57]   and do what's right, but he can never figure it out[4:06:59]   he can't figure out what's right because[4:07:01]   the rules make no sense to him[4:07:03]   that is so cute isn't that funny[4:07:05]   yo bro, I tried playing by all[4:07:07]   your rules, but[4:07:09]   well, I gotta admit, none of this shit makes sense[4:07:11]   alright[4:07:13]   impact is concerned like[4:07:15]   he may have been[4:07:17]   making some of the most impactful[4:07:19]   hip hop statements ever, right?[4:07:21]   yeah, I didn't appreciate it back then, I was young[4:07:23]   you know what I mean, so it's like even I was[4:07:25]   attracted to the rebelliousness of what he was[4:07:27]   doing, I didn't pick up on[4:07:29]   you know, you're attracted to Tupac[4:07:31]   oooh[4:07:33]   I looked like a Chugga Chugga Choo Choo[4:07:35]   just now, well it's just[4:07:39]   it's like a Choo Choo train[4:07:41]   there, Jules[4:07:43]   it's very cute[4:07:45]   thank you, thank you[4:07:47]   you know, I was gonna eat some[4:07:49]   what are those panda yummies called?[4:07:51]   yeah, the, oh uh[4:07:53]   yeah, panda yummies[4:07:55]   is that what they are?[4:07:57]   well, there used to be this great company called[4:07:59]   Koala Yummy[4:08:01]   no, then it can't be[4:08:03]   well, there used to be a koala[4:08:05]   yummy, this koala is this animal[4:08:07]   from Australia[4:08:09]   that they just can't stop talking[4:08:11]   about, and what it was[4:08:13]   pillow panda[4:08:15]   hello panda[4:08:17]   hello panda[4:08:19]   one of these days, you're gonna be watching this show[4:08:21]   and out of nowhere[4:08:23]   I'm gonna eat a hello panda, I'm gonna put it back[4:08:25]   under my desk, you're never gonna know[4:08:27]   any answers about that[4:08:29]   it's gonna happen soon, it almost happened[4:08:31]   today, alright let's go back to this[4:08:33]   do we have another time code to jump to?[4:08:35]   2850[4:08:37]   2850, and[4:08:39]   we're here with Charlamagne[4:08:41]   and Big Mike[4:08:43]   2850, what about[4:08:45]   2053, will that work for these?[4:08:47]   yeah, there we go[4:08:49]   you know what I mean?[4:08:51]   now I see why[4:08:53]   speaking of being an asshole, bro[4:08:55]   like, I saw you just[4:08:57]   completely shit on Post Malone[4:08:59]   what's up with that?[4:09:01]   why do you call them mayonnaise records, bro[4:09:03]   what's up with all this, what's the whole background?[4:09:05]   you know what it was? Post had made these statements one time[4:09:07]   that I didn't appreciate, because he came up in rap music[4:09:09]   you know what I mean? he had the song White Iverson[4:09:11]   and you know, he had them on Breakfast Club[4:09:13]   back in the day, so he came up in hip-hop[4:09:15]   but then he made a statement, I'm paraphrasing now[4:09:17]   but the statement was like[4:09:19]   if you want to cry, or listen to[4:09:21]   music that has a deeper[4:09:23]   meaning, you know[4:09:25]   don't listen to rap or something like that[4:09:27]   and I'm like...[4:09:29]   I do see through a little Post Malone, now this is gonna be[4:09:31]   shocking to some people, because Posty[4:09:33]   right? is so[4:09:35]   nice[4:09:37]   don't fall for that nicest, that is a fear[4:09:39]   tactic[4:09:41]   Post Malone is terrified[4:09:43]   all the guys doing the black music[4:09:45]   are very terrified[4:09:47]   that it's all gonna come[4:09:49]   crashing down, because they really shouldn't be doing what[4:09:51]   they're doing, right? Post Malone[4:09:53]   goes out of his way to baby[4:09:55]   like, what he's doing is[4:09:57]   actually insulting[4:09:59]   Post Malone is like[4:10:01]   what do you call that?[4:10:03]   you know, not[4:10:05]   a pandering, but when you're[4:10:07]   you know, what Post Malone[4:10:09]   does, do not confuse that[4:10:11]   as nice, and I'm glad you can see[4:10:13]   through Post Malone, Post Malone does not[4:10:15]   add up, I do think he seems nervous, but he still seems[4:10:17]   nice to me, very nervous, of course he seems[4:10:19]   nice, and I'm sure[4:10:21]   he's plenty nice, but[4:10:23]   he's not that nice, and if he is[4:10:25]   that nice[4:10:27]   gross, okay?[4:10:29]   let's not be tricked by Post Malone[4:10:31]   every five days, that he's[4:10:33]   so nice, oh my god, I can't[4:10:35]   believe he would do that to us, it's all by[4:10:37]   design[4:10:39]   oh yeah, and I forgot on this part, Big Mike's[4:10:41]   gonna start to crumble a little bit[4:10:43]   oh, okay, here we go, yeah[4:10:45]   so we're about 29[4:10:47]   minutes in, he's already starting his hip-hop[4:10:49]   knowledge, is starting to crumble[4:10:51]   I bet he don't even know what hip-hop-ra[4:10:53]   was, remember that?[4:10:55]   hip-hop-ra[4:10:57]   that was good, it was an opera[4:10:59]   hip-hop wise[4:11:01]   very good, it wasn't cheesy[4:11:03]   at all[4:11:05]   but it kind of goes[4:11:07]   not only did you[4:11:09]   come up in hip-hop, but that's just not true[4:11:11]   you just quoted from Pac[4:11:13]   but that's what I'm gonna ask you about too[4:11:15]   it goes back, we[4:11:17]   know Pac, we remember Pac, we remember[4:11:19]   some of the artists around that time that were bringing[4:11:21]   out this stuff about societal change[4:11:23]   and about, you know, the affliction of[4:11:25]   black communities and the stuff that[4:11:27]   socioeconomic classes are going through[4:11:29]   but when you look at- and why did you relate[4:11:31]   to that as a teenager, exactly?[4:11:33]   I mean, can't you just[4:11:35]   tell the truth, it's like you[4:11:37]   couldn't have related to[4:11:39]   black struggle as like a[4:11:41]   12 year old white kid[4:11:43]   you just couldn't, it wouldn't do anything for you[4:11:45]   it would be boring[4:11:47]   to you, like it was to me[4:11:49]   you know[4:11:51]   nobody[4:11:53]   this isn't the type of hip-hop you need[4:11:55]   to claim you like as a white person[4:11:57]   either, you could be like[4:11:59]   oh that story like totally doesn't[4:12:01]   relate to me, I could respect it but don't[4:12:03]   pretend, oh that's the good stuff[4:12:05]   please[4:12:07]   not the good stuff, we want the party music[4:12:09]   okay, we're whites[4:12:11]   we don't got no streets[4:12:13]   okay, these streets are fine[4:12:15]   got a song about how[4:12:17]   the streets are alright?[4:12:19]   hip-hop now[4:12:21]   even back to just like[4:12:23]   early 2000s, 2010s[4:12:25]   the music started to change a lot[4:12:27]   Post is so young that like[4:12:29]   I bet you the majority of what he[4:12:31]   bases around hip-hop is Papa Molly[4:12:33]   drinks some lean, fuck a bitch[4:12:35]   you know what I'm saying and so like in a way[4:12:37]   do you feel like we have[4:12:39]   hip-hop has become watered[4:12:41]   down to a point where it's just like[4:12:43]   party music[4:12:45]   I think hip-hop is nuanced and there's a lot[4:12:47]   of different types of hip-hop[4:12:49]   I can go from Future to Kendrick Lamar[4:12:51]   just like that, you know what I mean?[4:12:53]   I can go from, you know, Rap City to the...[4:12:55]   You never hear Mike mention Kendrick Lamar[4:12:57]   ever[4:12:59]   I don't even think Mike has listened[4:13:01]   Well he just gave this big long speech about how there's[4:13:03]   It's all party music[4:13:05]   and then he went, whoa, what about Kendrick Lamar?[4:13:07]   and then Mike goes, yup, yup[4:13:09]   it's like, well then why did you say that?[4:13:11]   I know, why did you say that then?[4:13:13]   I can go from Future to Kendrick Lamar just like that[4:13:15]   I can go from, you know, Rap City to the Migos[4:13:17]   just like that, you know[4:13:19]   there's guys that rap about[4:13:21]   drugs and using drugs and selling[4:13:23]   drugs and there's people that have shit[4:13:25]   that got socially redeeming value in their music[4:13:27]   there's so much dope ass content[4:13:29]   there's too much content out here, you know what I mean?[4:13:31]   so if all you're hearing is that then that's all you're[4:13:33]   listening to[4:13:35]   but don't you think it's being elevated more than the conscious rap?[4:13:37]   don't you think that[4:13:39]   in a lot of ways around the same time[4:13:41]   when the dealer[4:13:43]   used to get elevated, J was the guy[4:13:45]   then they started celebrating the fiend[4:13:47]   the user, right?[4:13:49]   and so don't you think that that drug use mentality[4:13:51]   that party mentality, that substance mentality[4:13:53]   is elevated more than Kendrick[4:13:55]   I don't think so[4:13:57]   because if you look at the last 12 years[4:13:59]   and you look at the[4:14:01]   top 5 biggest rappers in the game[4:14:03]   there's probably only[4:14:05]   one that's really the leader[4:14:07]   of that and that was Future[4:14:09]   in a lot of ways[4:14:11]   who is Logan related? 102.15[4:14:13]   102.15, any[4:14:15]   secrets or hints that I need to know[4:14:17]   about for this one?[4:14:19]   let's just see if Logan does any more micro[4:14:21]   aggression similar to the ones we saw[4:14:23]   at the beginning 102.15, yeah[4:14:25]   he's pretty bored by this black[4:14:27]   convo today[4:14:29]   102.15 you say? yes[4:14:31]   here you go, 102.05 I'll treat you[4:14:33]   it's like everything inside you[4:14:35]   that child just breaks down for a second[4:14:37]   that's all you want, that's literally all[4:14:39]   you want, if I would have got that when I was young[4:14:41]   that shit would have saved me a lot, like I remember[4:14:43]   my pops[4:14:45]   cheating on my mom and I confronted him about it[4:14:47]   and I'm like yo you out here cheating on my mom? I was like[4:14:49]   17 at the time, he looked at me and he goes[4:14:51]   oh you only got one girlfriend?[4:14:53]   he goes when you get older[4:14:55]   you'll understand, he shamed you, right?[4:14:57]   so in my mind I'm like[4:14:59]   oh my god, I only got one girl? I'm a pussy[4:15:01]   exactly, no that was my[4:15:03]   promise you, that was my mind state[4:15:05]   so it took me a long time[4:15:07]   he hit you with a reversal[4:15:09]   what a thug, he goes[4:15:11]   excuse me?[4:15:15]   we got him, we got him[4:15:17]   illegal[4:15:19]   is that a nice sounding way to talk?[4:15:21]   illegal, imagine me yelling that[4:15:23]   in your head all night while you're trying to party[4:15:25]   illegal what you're doing[4:15:29]   listen to what we just caught Logan Paul[4:15:33]   call a black person[4:15:35]   it took me a long time talking about it[4:15:37]   he hit you with a reversal[4:15:39]   what a thug, he goes[4:15:41]   excuse me?[4:15:45]   what a thug[4:15:49]   very interesting, here we'll hear that one more time[4:15:51]   it took me a long time talking about it[4:15:53]   he hit you with a reversal[4:15:55]   what a thug, he goes[4:15:57]   oh you only have one girlfriend?[4:15:59]   like this, damn[4:16:01]   it was, there it was, did Vic Mike say something terrible[4:16:03]   following that up? why do I confuse that?[4:16:05]   I can't remember, there it was[4:16:07]   I don't know how much more proof you need[4:16:09]   there's your big Mike[4:16:11]   update, same big Mike[4:16:13]   same big Mike that we used to know[4:16:15]   here, throw on some music here[4:16:17]   and we'll get these guys out of the way[4:16:19]   because I got some[4:16:21]   imposters[4:16:23]   to show you[4:16:25]   you ready? I'm so excited about this[4:16:27]   and we have been[4:16:29]   thinking about this idea for a very[4:16:31]   long, long time, you can cut to me[4:16:33]   and it is[4:16:35]   something practical[4:16:37]   as well, in fact, just this[4:16:39]   week I was emailed by[4:16:41]   somebody, you know, they get very mad too[4:16:43]   if you say no, I'm sorry[4:16:45]   or if you don't answer them, they get mad[4:16:47]   that's this new thing, so[4:16:49]   you have to answer everybody's email too[4:16:51]   or they get mad, so[4:16:53]   just this week I get an email[4:16:55]   hi Mike, we're huge fans[4:16:57]   our audience is huge fans[4:16:59]   we would love to have you[4:17:01]   and they're always lying[4:17:03]   like remember when Brittany Venti asked me to[4:17:05]   come on the show, it's like, you hang out[4:17:07]   with Kumiya, you know, and she's like[4:17:09]   oh we would love to have you on the show[4:17:11]   I don't know why you guys are all pretending that you're like[4:17:13]   from a real show, you're all[4:17:15]   all of a sudden the Ellen[4:17:17]   you know, Booker[4:17:19]   when you start writing your emails in Fantasyland[4:17:21]   so I've always been[4:17:23]   slightly insulted even[4:17:25]   to the point of insulted, yes[4:17:27]   when I'm asked to do an interview[4:17:29]   you know, to me[4:17:31]   that's like, you guys[4:17:33]   all watch TV and the radio and you just[4:17:35]   kind of like copy[4:17:37]   what they do, you really[4:17:39]   don't even have any interest in talking[4:17:41]   like if you have like a genuine[4:17:43]   interest in talking to somebody[4:17:45]   really finding out about them[4:17:47]   fine, but every[4:17:49]   podcast is just an interview show which means[4:17:51]   I just need somebody to chit chat[4:17:53]   with[4:17:55]   that's free[4:17:57]   that can fill this hour here[4:17:59]   so I can get the hell out of here, I mean that's really[4:18:01]   all it's become, these chit chat shows and everybody's[4:18:03]   interviewing each other, and to me[4:18:05]   I'm sickened by[4:18:07]   that, if I have something to say, I'll say it[4:18:09]   on the show[4:18:11]   everybody else puts themselves into this weird[4:18:13]   position where they let people put them[4:18:15]   on trial when it's like, I'm in[4:18:17]   an interview, I better answer everything you say[4:18:19]   I find it to be extremely[4:18:21]   insulting and cringe and it's like[4:18:23]   wait a minute, sit there[4:18:25]   I got something to say, it will be in[4:18:27]   my book[4:18:29]   so[4:18:31]   you're never going to see me do an interview[4:18:33]   but that's not fun[4:18:35]   so we came up with a perfect way[4:18:37]   to make everybody happy[4:18:39]   I know these shows are full of shit[4:18:41]   but I'm a huge fan of it, please[4:18:43]   you've never watched one of these episodes[4:18:45]   you might have seen a clip on YouTube[4:18:47]   I can't believe you would actually[4:18:49]   write an email to somebody and say I'm a huge fan[4:18:51]   when you're in fact not[4:18:53]   because you would know that I[4:18:55]   would hate you if you were[4:18:57]   such a fan, you know[4:18:59]   you would be right up my alley[4:19:01]   of people that I hate[4:19:03]   so what kind of fan is this?[4:19:05]   so I was just asked to be on a show[4:19:07]   and I think this is going to be the perfect opportunity[4:19:09]   I think what we're going to do today is[4:19:11]   there's going to be a soft winner[4:19:13]   for today, or we're going to do them in[4:19:15]   groups, so today we're going to show you[4:19:17]   three imposters[4:19:19]   and these people[4:19:21]   these good people have entered this[4:19:23]   contest because it is time[4:19:25]   it is time to find my imposter[4:19:27]   it's a guy who looks like me[4:19:29]   sounds like me, carries my[4:19:31]   attitude, and we could use this guy[4:19:33]   when I can't be bothered[4:19:35]   with stuff such as interviews[4:19:37]   now[4:19:39]   the contest was very simple[4:19:41]   you do not have to look like me[4:19:43]   you do not have to sound like me[4:19:45]   you do not have to know[4:19:47]   give me the answers to any questions I'd be asked[4:19:49]   in fact, the more you don't know[4:19:51]   the better[4:19:53]   the sillier it is the better[4:19:55]   so today, we have three imposters[4:19:57]   are you guys ready to see our first contestant[4:19:59]   is this exciting or what?[4:20:01]   are you guys ready?[4:20:03]   our first contestant, and I think what we're going to do today[4:20:05]   we're going to do these in batches[4:20:07]   and hopefully this will promote the contest even further[4:20:09]   the winner is getting $1,000[4:20:11]   cash, right?[4:20:13]   so now, are these guys still in the contest[4:20:15]   for the main imposter?[4:20:17]   they are, so what we're going to do[4:20:19]   is we're going to have, like, each week[4:20:21]   we're going to have three imposters if we can[4:20:23]   they audition each week[4:20:25]   and then we pick a winner from each week[4:20:27]   and then they have to face each other[4:20:29]   in the finals[4:20:31]   it's like a bracket thing or something?[4:20:33]   that sounds like a good idea[4:20:35]   I don't know, we haven't planned any of this[4:20:37]   all I want is an imposter[4:20:39]   go into those interviews, and I have no patience[4:20:41]   I want to pick somebody now[4:20:43]   what were the prizes?[4:20:45]   what were the prizes going to be?[4:20:47]   for real, we do give real prizes[4:20:49]   I hope people don't think we're kidding[4:20:51]   well, we've got to remember what I said, because that matters[4:20:53]   these people depend on these prizes[4:20:55]   more than my jokes know[4:20:57]   you definitely said that the winner would get $1,000[4:20:59]   so that settles that[4:21:01]   today[4:21:03]   knowing the finals, somebody will get $1,000[4:21:05]   I'll give $1,000 to the winner today[4:21:07]   if they do the[4:21:09]   how about this?[4:21:11]   the winner wins today[4:21:13]   and they successfully do the interview[4:21:15]   they get on screen[4:21:17]   that's a great[4:21:19]   that seems like a good deal[4:21:21]   you're going to get the $1,000 for entering[4:21:23]   how about that?[4:21:25]   for entering?[4:21:27]   you'll get the $1,000 for winning[4:21:29]   and then I think I said you get another $1,000[4:21:31]   for completing the interview[4:21:33]   I've got to go back and see what I said[4:21:35]   if anybody knows what I said[4:21:37]   but it's thousands[4:21:39]   no matter what I said[4:21:41]   up to $3,000 I'm willing to burn[4:21:43]   on this contest[4:21:45]   so however you want to divide that up[4:21:47]   or it all goes to one guy, I don't give a fuck[4:21:49]   as long as my goal is reached[4:21:51]   for my imposter to be in that interview[4:21:53]   okay, so let's go over some of these[4:21:55]   this first one, I remember[4:21:57]   this is the first one I opened as well[4:21:59]   and I had almost forgot about the imposter contest[4:22:01]   I was sitting on[4:22:03]   it was very cold, it was snowing[4:22:05]   and I remember the power was out[4:22:07]   and I go, oh my god, I got this email[4:22:09]   imposter contest[4:22:11]   and when I started playing it, my eyes just lit up[4:22:13]   because this is[4:22:15]   so much better than I expected[4:22:17]   right?[4:22:19]   the warmth I got from this contest[4:22:21]   was unexpected[4:22:23]   and it's a lot less boring[4:22:25]   than I thought it was going to be[4:22:27]   so I'm excited, let's show you our first imposter today[4:22:29]   and Jules, maybe you have his, do you have any other names?[4:22:31]   I don't know anything about these imposters[4:22:33]   at all[4:22:35]   there's only, there's only so much[4:22:37]   prep[4:22:39]   I'm willing to do for all this crap[4:22:41]   so I do not know the names[4:22:45]   well let's give them each a nickname[4:22:47]   other shows, they print the email[4:22:49]   they got this, we do not have a[4:22:51]   printer for this show[4:22:53]   okay, so we're going to remember the face[4:22:55]   maybe he'll say his name[4:22:57]   but right now, he's known as[4:22:59]   IMG underscore[4:23:01]   one zero one[4:23:03]   eight eighty three oh three[4:23:05]   alright, contestant[4:23:07]   IMG underscore one oh one eight hundred[4:23:09]   three oh three[4:23:11]   let's hear from you[4:23:13]   oh, and I could already tell I really like[4:23:15]   I see, this is what I met with[4:23:17]   in the preview[4:23:19]   now that to me is a face I could live with[4:23:21]   alright, this is the first imposter[4:23:23]   and uh[4:23:25]   let's give it a go, let's hear from him[4:23:27]   it's audition number one[4:23:30]   picture the beard[4:23:32]   coming in, it's grey[4:23:34]   like my hair[4:23:36]   I will be the new Mike[4:23:38]   doing interviews with[4:23:40]   these fools on their show[4:23:42]   Mike[4:23:44]   Jules, big fan[4:23:46]   Max here, love the show[4:23:48]   you've ruined every other fucking show[4:23:50]   I listened to before so[4:23:52]   thanks for that[4:23:54]   um[4:23:56]   I actually do, the person who introduced[4:23:58]   me to you guys, I do uh[4:24:00]   Mike impression all the time[4:24:02]   for him, perfect, it's very[4:24:04]   fun, okay[4:24:06]   now, okay, Max[4:24:08]   everybody, wasn't that great, this is[4:24:10]   what I am now, we're gonna imagine[4:24:12]   all the listeners to look like, okay[4:24:14]   I like that, I could sleep[4:24:16]   with that, alright[4:24:18]   so Max, give it up for Max[4:24:20]   everybody, and I think we're gonna have everyone vote[4:24:22]   at the end, right, we'll do a poll, yes, let me create[4:24:24]   one of those polls[4:24:26]   and uh, but don't put it up yet[4:24:28]   obviously, I've learned this from[4:24:30]   each three, imposter contest[4:24:32]   part one, pretty good huh, who's this[4:24:34]   old guy, no that's not old, we're not[4:24:36]   old[4:24:38]   he has a bum, no no no, this isn't[4:24:40]   pick apart the imposters, looks[4:24:42]   okay[4:24:44]   he can be the dad, no no[4:24:46]   no, that guy could be me, he's younger looking than[4:24:48]   me, alright, so let's see[4:24:50]   we'll do the next one[4:24:52]   I'm saving a couple for next week[4:24:54]   okay, so that was Max everybody, Max[4:24:56]   okay, so let's do this[4:24:58]   one here[4:25:00]   um, okay[4:25:02]   here's the next one, oh[4:25:04]   okay, and again I don't know[4:25:06]   his name, this is a[4:25:08]   great one, the voices[4:25:10]   that you'll hear are imposters doing[4:25:12]   me, shocking me, I, you know[4:25:14]   this is shocking to me, I didn't know that, this is[4:25:16]   what I was interpreted as, you know[4:25:18]   what, before we view this[4:25:20]   imposters tape, it's[4:25:22]   another great entry, you've got three[4:25:24]   solid, solid[4:25:26]   entries here today[4:25:28]   and, but let's celebrate[4:25:30]   the imposter contest, this is going to be a whole[4:25:32]   lot of fun, I don't think people realize[4:25:34]   how much fun I'm planning to[4:25:36]   have with this[4:25:38]   contest, I think once you see these interviews[4:25:40]   start going off, woo[4:25:42]   that's when it's going to start really[4:25:44]   kicking, so celebrate with me[4:25:46]   here we go, cheers Jules to you too[4:25:48]   I know Jules drinks a lot[4:25:50]   on this show, cheers, oh there's[4:25:52]   some smoke up there, be wary[4:25:54]   cheers everybody[4:25:56]   mmm[4:25:58]   mmm, ooh[4:26:00]   that went up my nose[4:26:08]   I'm blue double tea bubble two[4:26:10]   double tea double two[4:26:12]   always sing that song, alright here it is the next[4:26:14]   imposter, hopefully he tells[4:26:16]   us his name, I think you guys[4:26:18]   are going to like him as well, this is going to be a tough one[4:26:20]   he's got a cardigan, that's a good sign[4:26:22]   okay good, so pay attention to the little details[4:26:24]   too, lot of little[4:26:26]   details, let's watch this one[4:26:28]   it's time for[4:26:30]   Rise[4:26:32]   Rise Rise Rise Rise[4:26:34]   Rise[4:26:36]   Rise Rise Rise Rise[4:26:38]   cut to me Jules[4:26:40]   oh, you trust me don't you Jules?[4:26:42]   uh,[4:26:44]   yeah[4:26:46]   alright[4:26:48]   uh, of course[4:26:50]   you trust me right Jules?[4:26:52]   oh, you know what, you know what, here we got to do a bottle[4:26:54]   we're ruining this guy's poor bit here[4:26:56]   mmm[4:26:58]   doo doo doo doo[4:27:00]   okay, uh[4:27:02]   oh, we're still blocked huh?[4:27:04]   Jesus Christ, okay there it is[4:27:06]   go back, go back, go back, yes of course[4:27:08]   here we go, oh[4:27:10]   whoa, that was creepy, okay here's[4:27:12]   that second half of this[4:27:14]   you trust me don't you Jules?[4:27:16]   uh, yeah[4:27:18]   he's vaping[4:27:20]   really?[4:27:24]   you trust me right Jules?[4:27:26]   to have a bunch of people come over[4:27:28]   and watch you while you're sleeping?[4:27:30]   uh, yeah[4:27:32]   okay, right, let's go to Josh down[4:27:34]   wow, very good entry[4:27:36]   that was an amazing me[4:27:38]   very good, and a great you[4:27:40]   yeah, yeah, yeah, so very good[4:27:42]   I'm glad, it's always shocking that[4:27:44]   people even pick up on these things here[4:27:46]   fuck, okay I'm naming that guy[4:27:48]   the guy with Jules[4:27:50]   the guy with Jules, okay[4:27:52]   and our final contestant[4:27:54]   of the night, so that's gonna be[4:27:56]   the guy with Jules, the first guy's name[4:27:58]   was Max, yes[4:28:00]   so let's do this last contestant[4:28:02]   here, let's see, how long is this one?[4:28:06]   oh perfect, these were all perfect, okay[4:28:08]   here is our final contestant[4:28:10]   and hopefully he'll say his name[4:28:12]   as well, look at that[4:28:14]   he's got the fish tank[4:28:16]   behind him on the TV[4:28:18]   he's got the little tray over there[4:28:20]   with the stuff, look at that[4:28:22]   it's even like a little[4:28:24]   water, whatever[4:28:26]   this is, right, so he's got one of these[4:28:28]   some Malibu, that's[4:28:30]   great, he's got the shades[4:28:32]   he's got the beard, this looks promising[4:28:34]   alright[4:28:36]   check him out[4:28:38]   let's go[4:28:40]   rise[4:28:42]   another rise[4:28:44]   rise[4:28:46]   and there's the screen[4:28:48]   rise[4:28:50]   oh the chair as well[4:28:52]   rise[4:28:54]   yeah[4:28:56]   okay, a lot of this[4:28:58]   let's start with a little[4:29:00]   drink, we've got Josh Denny on screen[4:29:02]   with this random new[4:29:04]   comedian, Peter[4:29:06]   Jules Fraun[4:29:08]   some drinking music[4:29:10]   and we'll[4:29:12]   get started[4:29:18]   oh yeah[4:29:20]   there we go[4:29:26]   perfect[4:29:32]   oh wow[4:29:36]   yeah[4:29:38]   yeah, look at that[4:29:40]   it's one of my moves[4:29:50]   thank you, welcome to Reb Bar[4:29:52]   so, let's have a look[4:29:54]   at this, and it's just a little one[4:29:56]   where we've got[4:29:58]   usual ass Josh[4:30:00]   Denny, one of our asses[4:30:02]   yeah, he's with[4:30:04]   this comedian Peter Feliciano[4:30:06]   who's a bit of a strange[4:30:08]   guy, but[4:30:10]   on our theme of vaping[4:30:12]   you'll see in the shot that[4:30:14]   Peter[4:30:16]   he's an odd[4:30:18]   looking fellow, but I just wanted you to[4:30:20]   see this vape, and last week we talked about[4:30:22]   how if you're gonna vape[4:30:24]   you shouldn't hide and[4:30:26]   be all creepy and sneaky[4:30:28]   but, this is the opposite[4:30:30]   problem, where the shot is[4:30:32]   so close to Peter[4:30:34]   that it kind of looks a bit[4:30:36]   off when he vapes, you'll see what[4:30:38]   I mean, let me show you, what's the[4:30:40]   yeah, let's go[4:30:44]   he's got a chula[4:30:46]   he's got a red chair[4:30:48]   amazing[4:30:50]   tech problems[4:30:52]   what the hell[4:30:54]   got him[4:30:56]   yeah, this show rules[4:30:58]   this show rules[4:31:00]   this is a good show[4:31:02]   what show is this?[4:31:14]   oooh, not exhale[4:31:16]   oooh, good[4:31:22]   first class[4:31:24]   let's do that again[4:31:26]   but he was like, you should be flying on something[4:31:28]   where you can get points and get status[4:31:30]   and have first class[4:31:32]   you can't do this[4:31:34]   that's what we call gay[4:31:36]   yes, thank you[4:31:38]   that was wonderful, wow[4:31:40]   what a ride[4:31:42]   what a ride[4:31:44]   these are better than some of the real[4:31:46]   imposter red bars that I've been seeing[4:31:48]   by the way, there's so many[4:31:50]   red bar[4:31:52]   you know how every week somebody goes[4:31:54]   dude, this guy's totally ripping you off with the clap[4:31:56]   with all the, and then you watch it[4:31:58]   and it's a new guy every week[4:32:00]   I'm not even kidding[4:32:02]   there's like a hundred of these like low[4:32:04]   good people[4:32:06]   they're all good[4:32:08]   I don't need them as my enemy[4:32:12]   but yeah, there's like a million of them[4:32:14]   so, these guys are better[4:32:16]   these shows are better, that was wonderful[4:32:18]   so, do we have a poll[4:32:20]   yeah, so what should we call that guy[4:32:22]   the dancing guy?[4:32:24]   no, I mean, I was going to talk about[4:32:26]   obviously, this is[4:32:28]   very nominee-ish[4:32:30]   as well, it's a[4:32:32]   you can tell it's a guy doing[4:32:34]   an American, true blooded, cold blooded[4:32:36]   American like me, but he's[4:32:40]   British or something?[4:32:42]   let's say British[4:32:44]   is he British?[4:32:46]   he was hiding an accent[4:32:48]   so this is like a real actor[4:32:50]   man, I mean, this is what it's about[4:32:52]   this is like one of those guys where you go, and I didn't even know[4:32:54]   he was British, like, did you know he was British?[4:32:56]   happens to me[4:32:58]   way too often lately, by the way[4:33:00]   who did we just find out was British?[4:33:02]   oh yeah, Todd from Succession is British[4:33:06]   show's over now[4:33:08]   Tom from Succession[4:33:10]   who's Todd?[4:33:12]   who's Todd?[4:33:14]   pew pew[4:33:16]   Tom from Succession is British[4:33:18]   in real life[4:33:20]   that ruins it[4:33:22]   I named this guy British guy[4:33:24]   British guy, there you go[4:33:26]   so let's get that poll up, and then how about[4:33:28]   after this Bill Maher bit[4:33:30]   put the poll up, have everybody do it[4:33:32]   and then after this Bill Maher segment[4:33:34]   we'll go back to the poll[4:33:36]   and to be clear, the winner already has an interview[4:33:38]   lined up[4:33:40]   yes, the winner has to do the interview[4:33:42]   the winner has to do the dollar prize[4:33:44]   yeah, whatever I said[4:33:46]   on the last show is what you get[4:33:48]   cool[4:33:50]   I'm about to post the poll[4:33:52]   post the poll[4:33:54]   here we go, we're poll posting[4:33:56]   so we'll see how this works[4:33:58]   and get that poll out there, we'll give it a second[4:34:00]   and then we're gonna do this Bill Maher thing[4:34:02]   coming up, wait till you see what[4:34:04]   Bill's been up to today[4:34:06]   and I didn't expect to be doing this[4:34:08]   you know who's gonna love this? Robin Tran[4:34:10]   today he's with Jeffery Ross[4:34:14]   why is Jeffery Ross so famous?[4:34:16]   you know, Jeffery Ross is like, I was with Brad[4:34:18]   Pitt the other day hanging out[4:34:20]   why is he so famous?[4:34:22]   Jeffery Ross[4:34:24]   what does Jeff Ross actually do?[4:34:26]   I know he does the Comedy Central[4:34:28]   roast, but that's like nothing, right?[4:34:30]   nobody actually[4:34:32]   do those get a lot of views?[4:34:34]   they don't even do them[4:34:36]   there's no consistency to those Comedy Central[4:34:38]   roasts, it's like on and then six years later[4:34:40]   there's one, why don't you just have a show[4:34:42]   called The Roast, do it all the time[4:34:44]   I don't understand what he does[4:34:46]   he tours, he does stand up comedy[4:34:48]   clubs, but why is he so[4:34:50]   famous? Maybe Robin[4:34:52]   Tran could answer that one, she hates[4:34:54]   Jeff Ross, and so do I[4:34:56]   let's show you this, this is[4:34:58]   and you got that poll out there[4:35:00]   the poll is in the chat, the poll is live[4:35:02]   do you want to hear any updates?[4:35:04]   or should I just not look at it?[4:35:06]   you should save it, yeah, don't look at it, let's put the poll[4:35:08]   away now, but let's have everyone vote[4:35:10]   I was trying to kill some time while everybody voted[4:35:12]   you see, and then we can show them[4:35:14]   this Bill Maher stuff, I love Bill Maher[4:35:16]   ever since we discovered this Bill Maher[4:35:18]   what is his club random?[4:35:20]   club random[4:35:22]   he is[4:35:24]   he's amazing, and it really delivers[4:35:26]   you know, we watched that Belle of Thorne one[4:35:28]   where the grabbing and he's on his[4:35:30]   knees and he's scraping[4:35:32]   her[4:35:34]   they're all good[4:35:36]   they all have their own thing[4:35:38]   he's rude, he's arrogant[4:35:40]   he misunderstands[4:35:42]   your story completely[4:35:44]   puts you in a corner[4:35:46]   he puts you in a box, he[4:35:48]   belittles you without[4:35:50]   knowing, he's unaware[4:35:52]   of how rude and[4:35:54]   vindictive[4:35:56]   he's being, it's really[4:35:58]   a sight to see, I'm surprised more people haven't caught[4:36:00]   on to the spectacle[4:36:02]   that is this new club random[4:36:04]   show[4:36:06]   out of Bill Maher's basement[4:36:08]   and I love it[4:36:10]   we're really watching every episode now[4:36:12]   so let's put that to up next for me[4:36:14]   yes, and it feels like the poll[4:36:16]   is slowing down a little bit[4:36:18]   we're going to go back to that again after this[4:36:20]   Bill Maher segment, we're going to find our imposter[4:36:22]   day[4:36:24]   I just thought it would only be fair for everybody[4:36:26]   to pick, you know, it's not going to be me who's[4:36:28]   picking, it's going to be them[4:36:30]   and then we're going to try our first[4:36:32]   our first interview[4:36:34]   with the imposter, which is so exciting[4:36:36]   hopefully that will all happen within the[4:36:38]   next week, and we'll have that for you[4:36:40]   when we come back[4:36:42]   so, Club Random, Jeff Ross[4:36:44]   let's check out the intro here[4:36:46]   I have such[4:36:48]   great memories of our time in Hawaii[4:36:50]   and we're going to do it again[4:36:52]   you're the first[4:36:54]   two timer on my tour[4:36:56]   brought back by[4:36:59]   what do you drink?[4:37:01]   I usually drink a little tequila on the[4:37:03]   right, I have it right here[4:37:05]   what's that?[4:37:06]   this is amazing, it's about to happen[4:37:08]   so Bill's very, he's a very awkward[4:37:10]   host, and I can't imagine the shit he's saying[4:37:12]   to you during, you know, before the cameras are[4:37:14]   rolling to really cool you down[4:37:16]   I mean, he's such a cooler[4:37:18]   I mean, he makes you feel so uncomfortable[4:37:20]   and then yells at you[4:37:22]   for not coming out of your shell[4:37:24]   within seconds[4:37:26]   really the rudest host[4:37:28]   so let's see what he does this time[4:37:30]   how can you fuck this up?[4:37:32]   you're just offering someone a drink, there should be such a[4:37:34]   nice, easy[4:37:36]   exchange for two friends, even[4:37:38]   two enemies to do, it's so basic[4:37:40]   we've all seen people pour and exchange[4:37:42]   drinks, but Bill, he[4:37:44]   will really make this awkward[4:37:46]   won't he?[4:37:48]   I usually drink a little tequila on the[4:37:50]   right, I have it right here[4:37:52]   are you going to drink?[4:37:54]   of course[4:37:56]   it's only five o'clock somewhere, it's[4:37:58]   actually five o'clock here[4:38:02]   because we tape[4:38:04]   like we're a show[4:38:06]   at the traditional talk show[4:38:08]   hour, I'm sure when you first[4:38:10]   did your first tonight[4:38:12]   show or whatever[4:38:14]   there is something about us[4:38:16]   when he said, what do you drink, and he said tequila[4:38:18]   right? Jeff Ross?[4:38:20]   Bill Meyers behind his bar[4:38:22]   we're filming this at his bar area[4:38:24]   today, remember it's his basement bar[4:38:26]   it's a very[4:38:28]   cringe bar, it's only[4:38:30]   cool to him, these celebrities[4:38:32]   who come over, they're not impressed by[4:38:34]   this one bit[4:38:36]   shouldn't you have a better house than Emma[4:38:38]   Chamberlain?[4:38:40]   AD, we're looking[4:38:42]   at you, AD[4:38:46]   I mean you've had like 65 years to[4:38:48]   get your house together[4:38:50]   he is one of these guys who bought the house[4:38:52]   when it was contemporary[4:38:54]   and he just fails to see how[4:38:56]   it could possibly[4:38:58]   be anything but amazing[4:39:00]   he doesn't understand that times have changed[4:39:02]   so[4:39:04]   he asks Jeff a simple question[4:39:06]   what would you like to drink, and Jeff says tequila[4:39:08]   right? should be easy[4:39:10]   your first tonight show or whatever[4:39:12]   there is something about us who are[4:39:14]   always working at night, and now[4:39:16]   we show up, and it's California so it's[4:39:18]   like blazing hot sun, there's[4:39:20]   something, it's off[4:39:22]   I'm not funny in daylight[4:39:24]   you are, I remember you're from Hawaii[4:39:26]   you are, well of course we were hot, vacation[4:39:28]   but it's outside[4:39:30]   and it's still light[4:39:32]   when you're performing, you know in the summer[4:39:34]   you're like going at 8 o'clock and you're outside[4:39:36]   and it's like[4:39:38]   do I have to wear sunblock to do a set?[4:39:40]   Fuck yeah, I love that part[4:39:42]   there's something wrong with it[4:39:44]   yeah, I never, I always always[4:39:46]   I never miss the morning radio people[4:39:48]   who are like, yeah I do[4:39:50]   like, nothing's funny to me early in the[4:39:52]   morning, I need coffee and some[4:39:54]   you know[4:39:56]   I need a few hours before[4:39:58]   he's not listening, that's good[4:40:00]   on the rocks, just straight[4:40:02]   okay, so he goes what do you want with the tequila[4:40:04]   and he goes, uh, on the rocks[4:40:06]   just straight, cause he doesn't really know[4:40:08]   for some reason Jeff Ross is very nervous[4:40:10]   during this interview[4:40:12]   and a lot of people are very nervous about Bill[4:40:14]   why is he so mellow?[4:40:16]   I don't know[4:40:18]   you know what I think it has to do with[4:40:20]   it's like, you can't just do this many[4:40:22]   interviews and appearances[4:40:24]   at any time of the day, any day of the week[4:40:26]   you gotta[4:40:28]   have some time to think[4:40:30]   and have some time to be in the mood[4:40:32]   and these guys drive themselves so[4:40:34]   thin by doing all these[4:40:36]   appearances and they're just expected to[4:40:38]   light up every day[4:40:40]   every hour, it's too much[4:40:42]   but Bill[4:40:44]   also probably makes it very awkward[4:40:46]   I mean, imagine how awkward[4:40:48]   this pre-setting up[4:40:50]   and sitting there waiting[4:40:52]   around for Bill to be ready to film[4:40:54]   must be, so he goes, okay, what do you[4:40:56]   want to drink? He goes, tequila[4:40:58]   he asks Jeff how he wants it and Jeff[4:41:00]   says, on the rocks, which[4:41:02]   I don't know, is that[4:41:04]   that's not a typical drink, right? Tequila[4:41:06]   on the rocks, it's not something people[4:41:08]   is it? People have that?[4:41:10]   I feel like that's not Jeff's drink[4:41:12]   for some reason, I feel like, this is what[4:41:14]   happened, no, I feel like[4:41:16]   Jeff, see Jeff's a rock and roll[4:41:18]   stir, Jeff probably thinks[4:41:20]   like, and it's funny[4:41:22]   calling him Jeff, by the way, for[4:41:24]   some reason, Jeff probably[4:41:26]   thinks he likes tequila[4:41:28]   because all those 80's rockers[4:41:30]   have tequila brands, right? Like[4:41:32]   who are those guys like from Motley Crew, who are those[4:41:34]   guys with all the tequila, the famous[4:41:36]   tequila with the rockers?[4:41:38]   So I think he's imagining[4:41:40]   himself at some,[4:41:42]   you know, he's probably a type[4:41:44]   of guy that you would see at like the[4:41:46]   Rock and Roll Hall of Fame,[4:41:48]   you know, like that's his thing, right? Like[4:41:50]   oh yeah, it's at the Rock and Roll Hall of[4:41:52]   Fame, you know, having tequila with[4:41:54]   Eddie something,[4:41:56]   right? Eddie something?[4:41:58]   So I think that's where he[4:42:00]   thinks tequila[4:42:02]   is his drink, I could be totally wrong, maybe[4:42:04]   he drinks every day, but this[4:42:06]   sounds like somebody who only really drinks[4:42:08]   at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame[4:42:10]   at night, once in a[4:42:12]   while. Okay. There's something wrong[4:42:14]   with it. Yeah, I never, I always[4:42:16]   always like, I never understood morning[4:42:18]   radio people who are like, yeah, I do[4:42:20]   like, nothing's funny to me[4:42:22]   early in the morning. I need coffee[4:42:24]   and some, you know,[4:42:26]   I need a few[4:42:28]   hours before. What do you want with the tequila?[4:42:30]   That's good on the rocks. Just straight?[4:42:32]   Yeah. Jesus.[4:42:34]   Fuck, what a man.[4:42:36]   Okay, well then, fill up the[4:42:38]   glass. Wow.[4:42:40]   And then Bill hands him[4:42:42]   a full glass[4:42:44]   of tequila.[4:42:46]   That's true.[4:42:48]   Imagine, you're looking at that[4:42:50]   and you're like, not even in the mood[4:42:52]   to drink, I gotta drink this pure[4:42:54]   tequila, this whole cup.[4:42:56]   You know[4:42:58]   that's not right. Yeah.[4:43:00]   It's, and you're not, this isn't the right[4:43:02]   vibe, right? The vibe's[4:43:04]   gotta be right.[4:43:06]   You know, that's why we do that first drink.[4:43:08]   So the vibes aren't[4:43:10]   right and he's been past a[4:43:12]   giant cup of tequila. That's[4:43:14]   a recipe. You have to take your first sip[4:43:16]   of the day.[4:43:18]   Right?[4:43:20]   Then that pain you just see, and you can see, look at[4:43:22]   Jeff's eyes, darting[4:43:24]   right at that giant glass. I know it's hard[4:43:26]   to see, but he's darting and he's worrying.[4:43:28]   And I think he even says something here,[4:43:30]   let's see.[4:43:32]   Okay, well then fill up the glass.[4:43:34]   Wow. Oh my goodness.[4:43:36]   Stupid Bill Mares[4:43:38]   too. It's like, somebody asks for a drink on the[4:43:40]   rocks, you give them a shots worth[4:43:42]   on the rocks. You don't fill up the whole[4:43:44]   glass. You've just destroyed the[4:43:46]   recipe. Nobody wants to drink[4:43:48]   that. That's actually disgusting.[4:43:50]   Okay?[4:43:52]   I mean, it[4:43:54]   makes sense for every, I never understood people[4:43:56]   who don't obey the recipe of[4:43:58]   drink. You know, they think it's cool[4:44:00]   to just pour in as much alcohol as[4:44:02]   possible. You've just totally ruined the[4:44:04]   drink. If you do that, like, okay, I like[4:44:06]   steak on my[4:44:08]   shot, but you can't just,[4:44:10]   you know, we all know.[4:44:12]   So that just shows how stupid[4:44:14]   Bill Mares. Here we go. What are we in the Old[4:44:16]   West? You just have a glass of whiskey?[4:44:18]   Just sip it. I'll sip it. This will take me[4:44:20]   four days to drink all this.[4:44:22]   I look good, buddy. It's been too long.[4:44:24]   This will take me four days[4:44:26]   to drink all this. See? And Bill doesn't.[4:44:28]   I'm the wiser, right? Okay, so[4:44:30]   let's see. And he just goes,[4:44:32]   Exactly. He's never[4:44:34]   listening. He's never listening to[4:44:36]   what you see. He's such an asshole. You're really[4:44:38]   left there to fend for yourself.[4:44:40]   Okay, this sets the stage[4:44:42]   perfectly. Let's let it play a little bit. I just[4:44:44]   want to bring you into this vibe[4:44:46]   here. Well, you're always on[4:44:48]   the road. Yeah.[4:44:50]   I'm leaving again tomorrow.[4:44:52]   You're always with your little[4:44:54]   crew of Chappelle. This[4:44:56]   week I'm heading to Europe with[4:44:58]   You know when someone's a bad bartender, when the[4:45:00]   guest has to watch you like this[4:45:02]   while you pour to make sure[4:45:04]   because this is crazy. You don't know what[4:45:06]   he's doing. He's going to kill somebody here.[4:45:08]   So this is the guest going, Oh[4:45:10]   boy, what's he fucking mixing up?[4:45:12]   It's like when they're cooking and something's burning[4:45:14]   with Bert Kreischer. The comics[4:45:16]   are always going, What is he putting in there?[4:45:18]   Because that's probably[4:45:20]   That's a bad[4:45:22]   house and you can see it in Jeff's eyes. Look at this[4:45:24]   is Jeff's eyes looking at him pouring drinks[4:45:26]   going, Oh boy. I don't really see any[4:45:28]   eyes. Yeah.[4:45:30]   Yeah. Very good boy.[4:45:32]   Yeah.[4:45:34]   That's like three mouths. Maybe Robin Tran[4:45:36]   is Jeff Ross.[4:45:38]   Okay.[4:45:40]   Let's see what happens here.[4:45:42]   Europe. Chappelle and Chris[4:45:44]   Rock. Do they speak English?[4:45:46]   I know. They learned[4:45:48]   English from watching American comedy.[4:45:50]   I played Europe in 2015.[4:45:52]   I did that. Well, you play, you certainly[4:45:54]   cannot play Paris.[4:45:56]   I have. Paris?[4:45:58]   Not, you have to play a smaller venue[4:46:00]   than you would in the States.[4:46:02]   Paris. You can do it. I did it.[4:46:04]   That takes balls because they[4:46:06]   I did Paris in January.[4:46:08]   Um, and not only[4:46:10]   did they, these are[4:46:12]   a language barrier.[4:46:14]   They're wearing masks. I'm telling you, you know, and we can't[4:46:16]   watch the whole thing, but I beg you[4:46:18]   to just make sure the time's right[4:46:20]   where nothing's really going on.[4:46:22]   Nothing's competing with your attention[4:46:24]   and just put this on and just kind of[4:46:26]   roll with it,[4:46:28]   bro. It's very[4:46:30]   enjoyable.[4:46:32]   I love this show. I mean, there's so many[4:46:34]   little things in this[4:46:36]   show. Like it to me, it's like[4:46:38]   rich with very[4:46:40]   little moments. All right.[4:46:42]   Was there a time code I should jump[4:46:44]   to now that we've seen this back and forth[4:46:46]   is very polite. It's very[4:46:48]   355.[4:46:50]   Okay, 355.[4:46:52]   Let's see what happens here.[4:46:54]   And of course, it's going to be Bill Maher[4:46:56]   really making an ass of himself here[4:46:58]   today. Special improv will bring up the[4:47:00]   fucking Olsen twins. They're very good[4:47:02]   sports. They've been in the comedy store.[4:47:04]   Yeah, they're not funny.[4:47:06]   Um,[4:47:08]   you want some, uh, dope? You seem[4:47:10]   a little low key.[4:47:12]   Okay, sure. And again,[4:47:14]   it's kind of been like this the whole time.[4:47:16]   So Jeff's talking and[4:47:18]   Bill's constantly[4:47:20]   worrying about what[4:47:22]   he could fix somebody up. You know,[4:47:24]   when he's not lighting a joint, he's lighting[4:47:26]   a cigarette. When he's not lighting a cigarette,[4:47:28]   he's playing with the bottle. He's always[4:47:30]   preparing. He's always very[4:47:32]   strange. I never expected Bill Maher to even[4:47:34]   have this type of behavior.[4:47:36]   But, uh, you know,[4:47:38]   Jeff Ross is talking and, you know,[4:47:40]   answers his question. And then Bill goes,[4:47:42]   do you want some dope? You seem low key.[4:47:44]   Which is, believe me,[4:47:46]   again, you're, oh great,[4:47:48]   yeah, I'm so happy to be here.[4:47:50]   So, yeah, he's going to start[4:47:52]   pressuring him with dope,[4:47:54]   which is slang[4:47:56]   for heroin, of course.[4:47:58]   But that's what Bill Maher calls[4:48:00]   weed, so don't get scared.[4:48:02]   There's probably some black people that I'm going,[4:48:04]   they're doing dope?[4:48:06]   My brother's[4:48:08]   in jail for 35 years and that's sick![4:48:10]   No, it's not dope, it's, uh, weed.[4:48:12]   Which I guess people[4:48:14]   call dope in the 70s, right?[4:48:16]   Dope? You want to smoke dope? Yeah.[4:48:20]   Okay, watch.[4:48:22]   They're very good sports. They've been in the comedy[4:48:24]   store. Well, they better be. Yeah, they're not[4:48:26]   funny.[4:48:28]   You want some, uh,[4:48:30]   dope? You seem a little low key. I'll smoke[4:48:32]   some pot. Or maybe you've had a lot of pot.[4:48:34]   Not yet, but let's take it[4:48:36]   into this joint. It's not pot,[4:48:38]   it's a clove cigarette.[4:48:40]   That's not pot?[4:48:42]   God, so Bill Maher does this thing[4:48:44]   where he realizes[4:48:46]   that they're smoking pot on air[4:48:48]   and he's so 90s[4:48:50]   that he gets so scared[4:48:52]   that, like, he's going to get busted,[4:48:54]   so he calls them clove cigarettes.[4:48:56]   And the comics are all too stupid, they go,[4:48:58]   wait, cloves?[4:49:00]   It's like,[4:49:02]   okay, he lit the thing, you're[4:49:04]   smelling it. You're smelling it.[4:49:06]   Surely you've been around weed.[4:49:08]   You know the difference between a clove cigarette[4:49:10]   and weed, right? Smell?[4:49:12]   So, it's weed. But also,[4:49:14]   in Jeff's defense, why is[4:49:16]   Bill acting like that? Exactly, why[4:49:18]   is Bill going to call it a clove? Well, Bill's going to[4:49:20]   explain. Listen to that kind of guy. It's not pot,[4:49:22]   it's a clove cigarette. That's[4:49:24]   not pot?[4:49:26]   Oh, I see. You know, there's...[4:49:28]   We're in California. We're on the air[4:49:30]   in lots of states. Whoa,[4:49:32]   bitchy![4:49:34]   So, Jeff's like, we're in California.[4:49:36]   It's legal. We're on the air[4:49:38]   in lots of states.[4:49:40]   I don't know if that's where... I mean, I'm watching[4:49:42]   Charlie Jordan smoking spliffs,[4:49:44]   Logan Paul.[4:49:46]   They're doing weed with the Kleins, the Kleins[4:49:48]   baby, smoking a little hookah.[4:49:50]   So, I don't understand why Bill[4:49:52]   is so worried about this.[4:49:54]   Oh, I see. You know, there's... We're in California.[4:49:56]   We're on the air in lots of[4:49:58]   states. You're one of the first[4:50:00]   celebrities to talk about[4:50:02]   smoking. You know, let's try this. Maybe it's because[4:50:04]   we're not at his level. Would you guys like to[4:50:06]   smoke along with Bill?[4:50:08]   Smoke along with Bill?[4:50:10]   Smoke along with[4:50:12]   me and Bill and Jeff?[4:50:14]   I wish we were watching[4:50:16]   Jeff FM, to be honest.[4:50:20]   Cut to the close-up,[4:50:22]   Kim. This is a clipper lighter.[4:50:24]   I use a lot of different lighters[4:50:26]   during the show. This is a clipper lighter. I love these.[4:50:28]   I love the colors.[4:50:30]   It really lends itself to the[4:50:32]   creative. They're always doing something so creative[4:50:34]   and colorful with clipper. I've never[4:50:36]   picked up a clipper that didn't[4:50:38]   catch my eye.[4:50:40]   Thank you.[4:50:42]   Fucking pieces.[4:50:44]   All right, so let's see what happens here with the clubs.[4:50:46]   And smoke one with them. You smoked pot. I smoked it[4:50:48]   on the show, real pot, before it was[4:50:50]   legal, even in California,[4:50:52]   one night.[4:50:54]   And that's[4:50:56]   when I knew that...[4:50:58]   I love this shot, by the way.[4:51:00]   This shot is so fucking off-putting.[4:51:02]   This is like something Brandon Wardell would do[4:51:04]   as a meme. This looks like[4:51:06]   an old meme.[4:51:08]   Look at this shot.[4:51:10]   And sometimes in this shot, I think he looks like[4:51:12]   right down the barrel of the lens.[4:51:14]   Well, he's got those robocams.[4:51:16]   And let's just zoom[4:51:18]   in on his stupid face. I mean, he really...[4:51:20]   This is just... What[4:51:22]   have you become?[4:51:24]   Look how[4:51:26]   fucking[4:51:28]   turdy he[4:51:30]   is. I mean, that really[4:51:32]   is something else. That lighting is[4:51:34]   something else, too. I mean,[4:51:36]   that's pretty[4:51:38]   icy. Okay, so[4:51:40]   I love this shot. I love when he[4:51:42]   stares right into the camera when he's doing[4:51:44]   this shot here.[4:51:46]   And that's when I knew[4:51:48]   that the[4:51:50]   jig was kind of up with[4:51:52]   pretending that we[4:51:54]   are a country that can live with prohibition[4:51:56]   because people called[4:51:58]   him. I remember Larry David called me the next day[4:52:00]   and people were like,[4:52:02]   you know, are you sure you're not going to get arrested?[4:52:04]   So Larry David called him after[4:52:06]   he smoked pot on real-time[4:52:08]   and he's like, you're going to get arrested.[4:52:10]   Expose[4:52:12]   Larry David. Scared of[4:52:14]   cops. Scared of weed.[4:52:16]   All right.[4:52:18]   It was like 10 years ago or something.[4:52:20]   And I was like, I[4:52:22]   doubt it. But, you know,[4:52:24]   if they do,[4:52:26]   they'll be embarrassed.[4:52:28]   Not me.[4:52:30]   And that's the attitude I've taken ever since[4:52:32]   then. And I think it's[4:52:34]   I'm sure the cops would be really[4:52:36]   humiliated. It's one of the things[4:52:38]   that's always, whenever I think of cops,[4:52:40]   I always think about how embarrassed and how[4:52:42]   much they wish they[4:52:44]   could take it back that[4:52:46]   they act. Please.[4:52:48]   They would not care and they would[4:52:50]   not arrest you.[4:52:52]   Do you think one day the gun states[4:52:54]   will attack the pot states?[4:52:56]   Okay, this is where things[4:52:58]   get weird. You know,[4:53:00]   Bill Maher, he's just really[4:53:02]   mad at the left.[4:53:04]   You know, like many of us are, of course.[4:53:06]   But[4:53:08]   it's like he's picking up a couple of[4:53:10]   these cool right-wing things and it's[4:53:12]   almost liberating for him[4:53:14]   to kind of dip his toe into what[4:53:16]   used to be off-limits like guns[4:53:18]   and some other[4:53:20]   nasty things. So[4:53:22]   this is weird. He starts[4:53:24]   kind of getting on a gun thing with[4:53:26]   Jeff. Someone says[4:53:28]   Larry David was probably mocking[4:53:30]   Bill and he just didn't get it.[4:53:32]   Interesting.[4:53:34]   How so?[4:53:36]   Just to put that like going, ooh[4:53:38]   are you sure you're not going to get arrested?[4:53:40]   No, I think Larry[4:53:42]   was scared. Those old timers[4:53:44]   really, they are stuck[4:53:46]   in the past like that.[4:53:48]   What are you[4:53:50]   doing? You can't say that.[4:53:52]   You can. Okay, so here, watch[4:53:54]   uh-oh.[4:53:56]   This happened to me last night too. I was going to kill myself.[4:53:58]   Here comes[4:54:00]   him.[4:54:02]   Oh no.[4:54:04]   No, this one's okay.[4:54:06]   This one's swallowable.[4:54:08]   This one's movonable. Okay, watch this little exchange[4:54:10]   here between[4:54:12]   of course, again, five minutes in.[4:54:14]   Five minutes in. He hasn't welcomed[4:54:16]   Jeff or made him comfortable.[4:54:18]   One bit. Watch this.[4:54:20]   It's the attitude I've taken ever[4:54:22]   since then and I think it's[4:54:24]   on the money. Do you think one[4:54:26]   day the gun states[4:54:28]   will attack the pot states?[4:54:30]   It seems like they're not[4:54:32]   the same states necessarily. Oh,[4:54:34]   I don't know about that. Didn't they just run over[4:54:36]   the pot states? Well, this is a gun and pot[4:54:38]   household. Okay.[4:54:40]   Oh, see?[4:54:42]   Well, this is a gun and pot household.[4:54:44]   Very[4:54:46]   cool, Bill. So, now we're going to hear about[4:54:48]   Bill's gun stuff and you gun[4:54:50]   guys are going to love this.[4:54:52]   Bill fucking knows guns. I mean,[4:54:54]   it almost sounds like he's been a Terran Tactical.[4:54:56]   Anybody follow Terran Tactical[4:54:58]   on Instagram lately?[4:55:00]   Ooh, they got some good mods.[4:55:02]   Ooh, I just wish I had[4:55:04]   a, what is it called?[4:55:06]   What did I just call that company?[4:55:08]   Terran Tactical. I wish I had a Terran[4:55:10]   bronze barrel[4:55:12]   modded[4:55:14]   gun that holds more bullets[4:55:16]   and sticks out the end.[4:55:18]   I don't like that look. I like[4:55:20]   when the clip fully, I know you gun[4:55:22]   guys, oh, two extra bullets.[4:55:26]   Just bring two extra guns.[4:55:28]   You know?[4:55:30]   You can see me. I got Molly. He says, I got a Molly[4:55:32]   shirt that I made. I don't know why nobody's[4:55:34]   making Molly panel[4:55:36]   t-shirts, but I've got shirts that I[4:55:38]   usually wear and they're just Molly[4:55:40]   poops all over.[4:55:42]   And I just attach with carabiners[4:55:44]   every gun I own and I could barely walk.[4:55:46]   But believe me, when[4:55:48]   it becomes this guns-a-hotep[4:55:50]   thing that I got to do, I'm going to be settled.[4:55:52]   Alright, watch this. A gun debate between[4:55:54]   Jeff Ross and Bill[4:55:56]   Meyer, who's into guns now, because[4:55:58]   he's rebelling against his[4:56:00]   political party. Didn't they just run[4:56:02]   over the pot seats? Well, this is a gun[4:56:04]   at a pot household. Like a Kimbo, yes. Okay.[4:56:06]   You're not? I don't have any[4:56:08]   guns. Why?[4:56:10]   I guess I would if it was[4:56:12]   easy. Um,[4:56:14]   I'm just afraid, I'm just[4:56:16]   afraid it'll get turned on me somehow.[4:56:18]   Oh, well, that's such a bad attitude.[4:56:20]   Whoa, there's Bill.[4:56:22]   And you know what? The thing with Bill,[4:56:24]   no matter what topic you're on,[4:56:26]   he is going to know and[4:56:28]   you into such a[4:56:30]   place where you're so insecure to even[4:56:32]   say a peep.[4:56:34]   You know, this is like if you were eight[4:56:36]   years old and you're hanging around all your dad's[4:56:38]   friends. And[4:56:40]   sorry, these guys[4:56:42]   are too intimidating. I'm going to get the[4:56:44]   hell out of here. That's what he makes[4:56:46]   people feel like. He's[4:56:48]   so rude.[4:56:50]   So watch this.[4:56:52]   Everything Jeff says, he's got[4:56:54]   to, you know? I'm just afraid it'll get[4:56:56]   turned on me. You know who used to act like this[4:56:58]   before his eight[4:57:00]   other personalities?[4:57:02]   You know who used to act just like this? This is why I started hating him.[4:57:04]   Patrick C. Mountain.[4:57:06]   This is how Patrick would[4:57:08]   act. You get in a conversation[4:57:10]   with him and it was just, oh, okay.[4:57:12]   Jesus, sorry, I'm not doing it perfect[4:57:14]   like you.[4:57:16]   Good God. That's[4:57:18]   exactly how Bill's acting. Watch[4:57:20]   this. Somehow. Oh,[4:57:22]   well, that's such a bad attitude. Why?[4:57:24]   Because, you[4:57:26]   know, you're letting[4:57:28]   the worst[4:57:30]   worst possible event. There[4:57:32]   it is. Directly[4:57:34]   into our eyes, quirky style.[4:57:36]   Look at[4:57:38]   this down syndrome[4:57:40]   retard.[4:57:42]   I'm sorry, but if you[4:57:44]   stare into a camera with me like this,[4:57:46]   I'm zooming. Oh[4:57:48]   my God.[4:57:50]   That's what you got going on downstairs?[4:57:52]   That's what I call people. Wait, do it so it's just[4:57:54]   I'm looking at the monitor here.[4:57:56]   Cut out the glasses completely and just do the[4:57:58]   lips and ears. Okay. Hold on.[4:58:00]   Let me get it.[4:58:02]   Damn. Quentin Tarantino.[4:58:04]   I'm seeing like[4:58:06]   a cancer woman.[4:58:08]   Yes. Oh, of course. Yeah. He's one of these[4:58:10]   bald like his arms are[4:58:12]   like three times the size as normal.[4:58:14]   Skin's so soft though.[4:58:16]   Yeah. His skin is nice,[4:58:18]   but let's go into those eyes[4:58:20]   once more.[4:58:22]   So this is me now that everybody[4:58:24]   I'm going to say just this creature[4:58:26]   whenever I was thinking of the imposters,[4:58:28]   I just caught myself in the monitor. This is how I[4:58:30]   stand now. I like[4:58:32]   that. I like a low profile[4:58:34]   guy. You know,[4:58:36]   I consider myself to be low[4:58:38]   to the ground[4:58:40]   like that. You know, I'm always[4:58:42]   you'll always see me like this.[4:58:44]   You hate bending down.[4:58:46]   Well, I hate bending, but I love[4:58:48]   leaning down.[4:58:50]   Okay. So[4:58:52]   there he is. And this is why we all[4:58:54]   came here. Look at that fucking face.[4:58:56]   I mean, are you serious[4:58:58]   with this staring me right in the fucking eyes?[4:59:00]   Those glasses, by the way, are too narrow[4:59:02]   for your HUD.[4:59:04]   You have a giant cranium[4:59:06]   upstairs.[4:59:08]   Imagine his head just goes up and up and up and up[4:59:10]   and up and up. I mean, this guy's[4:59:12]   a fucking freak. I never thought I would be[4:59:14]   so delighted by[4:59:16]   just examining him.[4:59:18]   Usually you got to be quite the freak[4:59:20]   for me to want to just examine[4:59:22]   you and nothing more.[4:59:24]   And you're in that territory,[4:59:26]   so you've really done it.[4:59:28]   Okay. I love this guy.[4:59:30]   Motherfucker. All right. Let's see what he does next.[4:59:32]   It's a bad debate. Guided by the[4:59:34]   actions of the least capable[4:59:36]   people, guide what you[4:59:38]   want to do. It's sort of the same argument[4:59:40]   they very often use about drugs.[4:59:42]   We can't have drugs because people[4:59:44]   will love this episode. Yes, some[4:59:46]   people will, but we[4:59:48]   couldn't have any. We shouldn't organize life[4:59:50]   around what the- But also Jeff isn't even[4:59:52]   saying that guns should not be- No.[4:59:54]   That's what I mean. Bill's like having[4:59:56]   arguments with[4:59:58]   his guests based on[5:00:00]   the stuff he's annoyed with in[5:00:02]   culture, but it's not the guest that's doing[5:00:04]   it to him. But the guest will always[5:00:06]   remind Bill[5:00:08]   of the pain in his ass and the[5:00:10]   annoyance that the other people are.[5:00:12]   So when he hears Jeff doesn't own a gun, he goes,[5:00:14]   oh, oh, oh, you're one of them.[5:00:16]   That's a bad[5:00:18]   attitude. And I agree.[5:00:20]   I mean, why doesn't Jeff have a[5:00:22]   gun? What kind of fucking bitch is afraid[5:00:24]   of a fucking little tiny[5:00:26]   bullet?[5:00:30]   So, I mean, there's nothing[5:00:32]   more beta than being afraid to be killed by them.[5:00:34]   He probably thinks that this 16-year-old[5:00:36]   he has locked in his basement will get her hands[5:00:38]   on it and show up pointing it at his[5:00:40]   head when he wakes up. Because wasn't there[5:00:42]   a rumor that he was with a 16-year-old girl?[5:00:44]   Something like that. Something like that.[5:00:46]   He skated out of that little...[5:00:48]   There was a big Jeff Ross[5:00:50]   underage girl[5:00:52]   rumor. And I think it happened at the exact[5:00:54]   same time as Crystalia. Yeah.[5:00:56]   And it kind of gets swept under the rug. Let's[5:00:58]   reopen that file, please, Jeffrey.[5:01:00]   Oh, please, don't do[5:01:02]   this to me. And that's why he only wants to do[5:01:04]   any of these guys that just want to do stand-up[5:01:06]   now. Yeah, I can tell you. I can tell you[5:01:08]   why. All right. So[5:01:10]   he doesn't have a gun and that might[5:01:12]   have something to do with it.[5:01:14]   Oh, my God. You know, a lot of these guys who[5:01:16]   don't have a gun, you got to go,[5:01:18]   maybe the government knows something we don't.[5:01:20]   Maybe they're not allowed to get a gun.[5:01:22]   Wow. Maybe something happened.[5:01:24]   You know, what's going on?[5:01:26]   If you're anti-gun, that means[5:01:28]   you're just a criminal and are covering[5:01:30]   it up by wanting one. Yeah, you just can't get a gun[5:01:32]   probably because your mental health eval[5:01:34]   failed or something.[5:01:36]   And you don't want to tell anybody that because that's too embarrassing[5:01:38]   where you've done something to some kid[5:01:40]   and, you know, you've signed[5:01:42]   deals that you'll never carry a gun[5:01:44]   or something. I don't know. Didn't Jeff Ross[5:01:46]   even do like a public explanation?[5:01:48]   I'm like picturing an Instagram post[5:01:50]   with a white background. I would love to hear it. I'm into Jeff[5:01:52]   Ross stuff. I'm interested in what he's[5:01:54]   hiding. I have another clip where[5:01:56]   a fly lands on his head. And he doesn't know.[5:01:58]   He doesn't even know this. He didn't even know. Yeah, that's[5:02:00]   sus. All right. Let's see what[5:02:02]   happens in this gun debate. I love[5:02:04]   gun debates. The least[5:02:06]   capable, stupidest people do with something.[5:02:08]   So, yeah,[5:02:10]   you know, you're[5:02:12]   not going to shoot a school up.[5:02:14]   And, you[5:02:16]   know, if you're attacked[5:02:18]   in your or in your house[5:02:20]   is invaded,[5:02:22]   you know, wouldn't you rather[5:02:24]   level the playing field rather[5:02:26]   than somebody being able to have[5:02:28]   you out there? You know, these are all like the things[5:02:30]   that like I was passionate about when I was like 16.[5:02:32]   So it's always shocking[5:02:34]   to see some man like passionate about[5:02:36]   like, you know, when you were like first 16 and[5:02:38]   17, you're like, Oh, my God, I had no[5:02:40]   idea all this[5:02:42]   start forming opinions. Why do[5:02:44]   you have these like passionate opinions[5:02:46]   in such an old age? Shouldn't you be so bored[5:02:48]   of your passionate[5:02:50]   opinions? You know,[5:02:52]   unless this is a brand new opinion to him.[5:02:54]   This is a new thing. Interesting.[5:02:56]   I mean, I remember saying this stuff when[5:02:58]   I was 16. Like, wouldn't you rather[5:03:00]   have a fighting chance? It's like[5:03:02]   I wouldn't even say that now. That's so[5:03:04]   boring. I would just go, he's[5:03:06]   a stupid fucking[5:03:08]   piece of shit.[5:03:10]   That's all I would do is just curse you out.[5:03:12]   All right, let's see this.[5:03:14]   This gets way funnier. There's a part[5:03:16]   I'm just remembering that's coming up about music[5:03:18]   that is amazing.[5:03:20]   Also, there's a ton. There's like a huge, long[5:03:22]   vulture article[5:03:24]   of this accuser. This happened[5:03:26]   in 1999. She was[5:03:28]   15. But then[5:03:30]   Jeff, I guess, sued her for defamation[5:03:32]   saying it's not true. I don't[5:03:34]   know what came of that, though. So let's interview[5:03:36]   Jeff and ask him all about the[5:03:38]   lawsuit.[5:03:40]   Sweet. You know, he's another one of these[5:03:42]   idiots where I wonder if he would just allow[5:03:44]   himself like Steve Rennese to just[5:03:46]   relive his worst time.[5:03:48]   Interesting. He probably would.[5:03:50]   Yeah, he probably would. Utter mercy?[5:03:52]   Hmm. How hard[5:03:54]   is it to get a gun in California?[5:03:56]   I mean... And what kind of question[5:03:58]   is that? You're a grown man.[5:04:00]   You know, you're on stage speaking of[5:04:02]   large groups of people. You don't know[5:04:04]   how to do things.[5:04:06]   You live there, right? You live[5:04:08]   in LA. Shouldn't you know[5:04:10]   the rules?[5:04:12]   How hard is it to get a gun in[5:04:14]   California? I mean,[5:04:16]   I don't remember. I've had mine[5:04:18]   for a while. I mean, I remember[5:04:20]   it was paperwork and waiting.[5:04:22]   It was definitely... I don't know if the laws[5:04:24]   have changed, but I don't... You know, I did paperwork[5:04:26]   too when I bought my first gun.[5:04:28]   It was a little note. I'll never forget what it[5:04:30]   did. Here, I'll show[5:04:32]   you if I can.[5:04:34]   Here we go. This is perfect. Yeah, that'll work.[5:04:36]   That'll work. Jules, why don't you put on some dinner[5:04:38]   music for me while I show people[5:04:40]   with the note, the paperwork[5:04:42]   that I did when I[5:04:44]   received my first gun.[5:04:56]   No music? Oh, sorry.[5:04:58]   Thank you so much. It's just taking[5:05:00]   a long time to hook up.[5:05:02]   This is hard to write on.[5:05:04]   This is my glasses.[5:05:12]   It's hard.[5:05:14]   A long bit, too. I'm already over[5:05:16]   this.[5:05:18]   So yeah, you know, I do paperwork too[5:05:20]   when I bought my first gun.[5:05:22]   And here it is.[5:05:28]   Fuck yeah, bro.[5:05:30]   That's what I think of your[5:05:32]   paperwork. They said, please[5:05:34]   take the guns, take[5:05:36]   the cash, take whatever you can,[5:05:38]   Mike. Here's our keys,[5:05:40]   Mike. You're better than us. You're better than us.[5:05:42]   We're the cops. Here's all our cuffs.[5:05:44]   You're better than us. You're better than us.[5:05:46]   We're the gun store. Have all our stuff.[5:05:48]   We like you, Mike. Thanks for[5:05:50]   that note. You win the job. You won.[5:05:52]   No one else tried. Everyone else[5:05:54]   pussy. You were the guy.[5:05:56]   Getting a job there.[5:05:58]   That's an application for[5:06:00]   the job at the gun store.[5:06:02]   It's an old story I always had.[5:06:04]   Cut that dinner music and let's go back to Bill[5:06:06]   Marr. This gets way better.[5:06:08]   Check this out.[5:06:10]   Here he is with Jeff Ross. They're still talking[5:06:12]   about the guns. I don't think they got any easier.[5:06:14]   But you can't leave with it. No.[5:06:16]   Remember that store that was on Sunset[5:06:18]   LA Guns? Yeah. Not there[5:06:20]   anymore, but I think[5:06:22]   it was popular and[5:06:24]   I didn't remember it was a popular tattoo.[5:06:26]   Yeah, that's because it was a band.[5:06:28]   So he thought he saw[5:06:30]   these people with LA Guns tattoos[5:06:32]   in Melrose and stuff.[5:06:34]   And he's like, oh, they really love this gun[5:06:36]   shop. No.[5:06:38]   I'm sorry.[5:06:40]   It can't be. Right?[5:06:42]   And I think Jeff knows.[5:06:44]   So watch this. The store that was on Sunset[5:06:46]   LA Guns? Yeah. Not there[5:06:48]   anymore, but I think[5:06:50]   it was popular and[5:06:52]   I didn't remember it was a popular tattoo.[5:06:54]   You know, people[5:06:56]   got LA Guns.[5:06:58]   It may have something to do with the[5:07:00]   naming of Guns N' Roses. I don't[5:07:02]   know. It was a band like that.[5:07:04]   Yes, and there's a band.[5:07:06]   So did you train?[5:07:08]   Not yes and there's a band.[5:07:10]   Yeah, I don't know what it was about.[5:07:12]   Maybe something to do with Guns N' Roses.[5:07:14]   That's all I could think of.[5:07:18]   That's incredible.[5:07:20]   And Jeff Ross was just too... And Jeff[5:07:22]   knows. I mean, Jeff has missed your[5:07:24]   Sunset Strip. Dude, Jeff is[5:07:26]   the Sunset Strip. People don't know that[5:07:28]   about this guy. I mean, he's a[5:07:30]   Motley Crue music video.[5:07:32]   Alright, let's see some more gun[5:07:34]   control talk. Yeah, I've had[5:07:36]   training. Oh, wait, wait. This is so good.[5:07:38]   They're going to talk about their training.[5:07:40]   Listen to this. He's had training.[5:07:42]   So we've seen our fools train. A lot of[5:07:44]   our fools train. We've seen Sam Tripoli[5:07:46]   train. Brian Callan, Joe Rogan,[5:07:48]   Tom Segura. The list[5:07:50]   goes on and on. Of all the comedians[5:07:52]   we've actually watched train, Steven[5:07:54]   Crowder. Can you believe that?[5:07:56]   Can you imagine? So[5:07:58]   let's hear about Bill's[5:08:00]   training. The newest fool to join[5:08:02]   the Gun Training[5:08:04]   Public Club.[5:08:06]   Guns N' Roses? I don't know.[5:08:08]   There's a band like that.[5:08:10]   Yes, and there's a band.[5:08:12]   Did you train? Yeah,[5:08:14]   I've had training. I actually[5:08:16]   went out with a guy[5:08:18]   on the place and[5:08:20]   go through. It was just like one day.[5:08:22]   Oh, okay.[5:08:24]   So do you train[5:08:26]   though? Like you have a gun, do you do training?[5:08:28]   Yeah, of course. Yeah, lots[5:08:30]   of training. Who's a guy?[5:08:32]   We went out, I think.[5:08:34]   Like one day.[5:08:36]   You know one day doesn't mean 24 hours[5:08:38]   by the way. One day means[5:08:40]   an hour. Okay.[5:08:42]   Adults don't...[5:08:44]   One day to an adult is one hour with somebody.[5:08:46]   So[5:08:48]   that's pretty nuts[5:08:50]   to say, and it gets worse.[5:08:52]   And he was so defensive about the training.[5:08:54]   Exactly.[5:08:56]   Yeah, I've had training. I actually[5:08:58]   went out with[5:09:00]   a guy on the place[5:09:02]   and go through. It was just like[5:09:04]   one day, but[5:09:06]   you can get it in[5:09:08]   one day. Now should you brush[5:09:10]   up? Yes, you should. Have you[5:09:12]   brush up? Absolutely. I mean, it should be,[5:09:14]   you know, there's no reason why gun ownership[5:09:16]   shouldn't be like any other kind of[5:09:18]   license you would get like[5:09:20]   to fly a plane[5:09:22]   that you just don't walk in[5:09:24]   and start flying. Guns are the most boring[5:09:26]   hobby though. I mean, they really are.[5:09:28]   It's like you have all these guns, you're so excited[5:09:30]   and then you just go and you go[5:09:34]   Can I kill somebody please? I'm fucking[5:09:36]   itching to kill somebody now. This[5:09:38]   sounds like shooting a tree.[5:09:40]   Barely, you barely see anything.[5:09:42]   It's funner to shoot a gun in a video game[5:09:44]   than in real life. So I don't know what these people are like[5:09:46]   It's so old man, it's so[5:09:48]   yeah. Maybe if you're shooting someone[5:09:50]   in the head, you know,[5:09:52]   then I could see[5:09:54]   does a man[5:09:56]   disappear at the end?[5:09:58]   You know, then I could see, yeah, it's exciting.[5:10:00]   But shooting a tree and the tree just[5:10:02]   goes[5:10:04]   This is me shooting a tree.[5:10:06]   Go![5:10:08]   And the tree just goes[5:10:12]   That's not fun. I want to see all[5:10:14]   the trees mourn[5:10:16]   over this guy and try to[5:10:18]   get me. The rest of the trees try to[5:10:20]   arrest me. Alright, let's see here[5:10:22]   more gun control.[5:10:24]   To fly a plane[5:10:26]   that you just don't walk in and start[5:10:28]   flying a plane, you have to[5:10:30]   I'm okay with that.[5:10:32]   It does occur to me that I have a German Shepherd[5:10:34]   I can't control, so that's more of a liability[5:10:36]   than a gun I can control.[5:10:38]   You mean you'd shoot the dog?[5:10:40]   No.[5:10:42]   He doesn't get it.[5:10:44]   Are you even listening?[5:10:46]   And at this point, Jeff's like[5:10:48]   Is this an hour? And Jeff was only[5:10:50]   humoring you. Yes, of course.[5:10:52]   Here it is.[5:10:54]   A liability that a gun[5:10:56]   I can control.[5:10:58]   You mean you'd shoot the dog?[5:11:00]   No, I mean, if I have an intruder[5:11:02]   the dog sometimes[5:11:04]   doesn't know if they're supposed to be there or it's just[5:11:06]   my buddy coming over without knocking.[5:11:08]   Well, and what kind of dog is this?[5:11:10]   Shepherd.[5:11:12]   Shepherds are smart.[5:11:14]   If you haven't gotten a shepherd up to that point[5:11:16]   that's on the owner.[5:11:18]   Oh, yeah. Oh, okay.[5:11:20]   She's a bad dog owner now. That's nice.[5:11:24]   If your dog is in train, that's on[5:11:26]   the owner. You.[5:11:28]   I didn't know. There's trouble[5:11:30]   here. I thought we were friends.[5:11:32]   Thanks, Bill. I mean, it's just constant.[5:11:34]   It never ends. But it's like[5:11:36]   that's what they do. Your dog is probably[5:11:38]   looking at you like, I'm a fucking shepherd.[5:11:40]   Just give me a little direction[5:11:42]   and I can handle this.[5:11:44]   But nothing, you know,[5:11:46]   just like, well, first of all,[5:11:48]   they would smell the fear on you. Right.[5:11:50]   Especially you without a gun would be[5:11:52]   shitting your pants. I mean, this is like a guy who thinks[5:11:54]   dogs eat liverwurst[5:11:56]   for dinner.[5:11:58]   He doesn't fucking know anything. Like, imagine[5:12:00]   him even giving a treat to a dog without[5:12:02]   going, oh, what the fuck is this?[5:12:04]   You know, he probably thinks dogs[5:12:06]   suck. They smell shit.[5:12:08]   They love shit.[5:12:10]   And then they would know[5:12:12]   this guy. But, you know, it's not hard[5:12:14]   for human bad[5:12:16]   guys to[5:12:18]   disable the dog. I have[5:12:20]   dogs, too, because they're old[5:12:22]   and not. I think we're not[5:12:24]   going to hurt anybody to be human,[5:12:26]   but they can make a racket. That's what I[5:12:28]   use dogs for. So that[5:12:30]   if someone breaks in, I know[5:12:32]   so long before they get to my[5:12:34]   bedroom.[5:12:36]   You think somebody's coming to get you[5:12:38]   in your bedroom?[5:12:40]   I can't wait to get my hands on that[5:12:42]   mar. Is this his room?[5:12:44]   Is he naked?[5:12:46]   You're sitting in bed[5:12:48]   thinking someone's coming?[5:12:50]   That's creepy. And he's fucking[5:12:52]   naked, too, all smithered.[5:12:54]   Or Mr. Burns, is it?[5:12:56]   Mr. Burns.[5:12:58]   Oh, I have plenty of time[5:13:00]   to prepare[5:13:02]   myself. They would have to[5:13:04]   break down a few different doors.[5:13:06]   The dogs would be barking.[5:13:08]   You know, but they can kill a dog[5:13:10]   pretty easy.[5:13:12]   He's twiddling his thumbs.[5:13:14]   Look at this. He[5:13:16]   hates this. So you can[5:13:18]   go to 15 minutes in[5:13:20]   and this is just to display that[5:13:22]   Bill is not a puff,[5:13:24]   puff pass man. Wow,[5:13:26]   this is so rude. Watch this.[5:13:28]   It's always some, you know,[5:13:30]   I'm like[5:13:32]   Vin Diesel if he were neither fast[5:13:34]   nor furious.[5:13:36]   I guess you were. I hate when they do[5:13:38]   their very old[5:13:40]   tired stand-up jokes on the podcasts.[5:13:42]   That's sneaky,[5:13:44]   deaky, deceptive[5:13:46]   delivery.[5:13:48]   I don't like that at all.[5:13:50]   Yeah, I'm like Vin Diesel. What does he[5:13:52]   say here? This hack fucking thing about himself?[5:13:54]   Vin Diesel if he were neither fast[5:13:56]   nor furious.[5:13:58]   And he says that every[5:14:00]   night for 15[5:14:02]   years.[5:14:04]   And they all[5:14:06]   die laughing, don't they?[5:14:08]   Robin Tran.[5:14:10]   I guess you were in too deep.[5:14:16]   I'm going to work on this idea. I like it.[5:14:18]   I like it too. People always tell me[5:14:20]   you got to cut me in. We're[5:14:22]   in, baby. We'll write it in Hawaii.[5:14:24]   Right.[5:14:26]   I'm serious.[5:14:28]   I'm seriously stoned.[5:14:30]   So again, I always[5:14:32]   share. Oh, I'm so[5:14:34]   I did bring something. That's so[5:14:36]   rude. I did bring something. Yeah, at the beginning[5:14:38]   of the show, he[5:14:40]   isn't this Jeff's own pipe that he[5:14:42]   brought? He is about to[5:14:44]   give him the pipe. Oh, okay. This is the joint.[5:14:46]   This is the joint. So Bill Maher lit a[5:14:48]   joint and said, here, smoke some dope.[5:14:50]   But then Bill just smoked the whole[5:14:52]   joint. I mean, it's been like 20 minutes.[5:14:54]   He hasn't offered anything to Jeff.[5:14:56]   So we find out that here and we're going to[5:14:58]   continue with the pipe stuff. Sure.[5:15:00]   Or no, no, we don't have to[5:15:02]   if it's not planned.[5:15:04]   I can't remember. Well, just[5:15:06]   stick with the plan is what I mean. Whatever the[5:15:08]   plan is. You can play it for the second year and I'll tell you.[5:15:10]   Oh, I'm so[5:15:12]   I did bring something. That's so rude.[5:15:14]   It did bring something while we're talking about weed[5:15:16]   Maybe this is the time to do it. That's the problem.[5:15:18]   Before you light it up. No, please.[5:15:20]   Hold on. Okay, I don't want to go through that. It's too long.[5:15:22]   Okay, this is a good part. 27[5:15:24]   but he does that a bunch more times where he[5:15:26]   just takes a huge hit of Jeff's pipe[5:15:28]   and then just puts it down beside him.[5:15:30]   Yes, exactly. He never gives[5:15:32]   it back. He doesn't care about anybody but[5:15:34]   himself. Go to 2744.[5:15:36]   Okay, and what's going to happen here?[5:15:38]   You're going to love it. Okay,[5:15:40]   here we are. Oh boy, I tell[5:15:42]   you. The fun is hard[5:15:44]   work. Yeah, we're going to[5:15:46]   have fun in Hawaii this year.[5:15:48]   Like Elvis.[5:15:50]   Did you see that movie? I haven't seen[5:15:52]   it. Wow. Not interested?[5:15:54]   No, I'll see it. Right now[5:15:56]   I'm binging something else.[5:15:58]   Then why would he not be interested?[5:16:00]   Not interested[5:16:02]   I suppose. That's what you[5:16:04]   do to people.[5:16:06]   He's never done that to you.[5:16:08]   Another Elvis movie[5:16:10]   mentioned there by one[5:16:12]   of the old timers. I love it.[5:16:14]   Alright, what's the next one here?[5:16:16]   Oh no, keep going here. Okay, here we go.[5:16:18]   Good love. What?[5:16:20]   The Danny Boyle[5:16:22]   Sex Pistols thing on Hulu. Oh,[5:16:24]   this is great. Here we go.[5:16:26]   So it starts with Elvis. Okay,[5:16:28]   I know where we're here.[5:16:30]   Watch this. Did you see[5:16:32]   that movie? I haven't seen it.[5:16:34]   Not interested? No,[5:16:36]   I'll see it. Right now I'm binging[5:16:38]   something else. Binging? I think you[5:16:40]   love. What?[5:16:42]   The Danny Boyle[5:16:44]   Sex Pistols thing on Hulu.[5:16:46]   What? Oh God.[5:16:48]   Sex Pistols. That's punk rock[5:16:50]   steam.[5:16:52]   Generation[5:16:54]   mix up.[5:16:56]   Generation mix up.[5:16:58]   Now, what's about to happen is[5:17:00]   so cool. Should we tell them?[5:17:02]   We could probably just tell them what's happening[5:17:04]   here. You know, and this is what[5:17:06]   these old timers forget. There are these[5:17:08]   differences. Jeff Ross is[5:17:10]   Gen X, right?[5:17:12]   Now Gen X[5:17:14]   likes old school[5:17:16]   punk rock. Yes, they do, right?[5:17:18]   They like the Clash, the[5:17:20]   Sex Pistols.[5:17:22]   Stuff like that is like normal to[5:17:24]   them. Bill[5:17:26]   is a boomer.[5:17:28]   Bill is a boomer.[5:17:30]   The Sex Pistols to him is like crazy.[5:17:32]   Like, what the fuck? We don't[5:17:34]   listen to that shit. So[5:17:36]   we're going to have a generational mishap.[5:17:38]   It's happening right now. None of them[5:17:40]   know that this is the case.[5:17:42]   And they're going to argue their generations[5:17:44]   taste with each other without knowing that this is[5:17:46]   just the simple problem. Watch this. You're going to love it.[5:17:48]   What? The[5:17:50]   Danny Boyle Sex Pistols[5:17:52]   thing on Hulu.[5:17:54]   What? Oh God. Sex Pistols.[5:17:56]   That's punk rock.[5:17:58]   Steve Jones from the Sex Pistols wrote a book[5:18:00]   and Danny Boyle. He's like, yeah,[5:18:02]   Steve Jones, the Sex Pistols. You know, like, people[5:18:04]   like him and Marc Maron, like that age[5:18:06]   group, they listen to the Sex Pistols.[5:18:08]   But it should be up to them to know that, yeah,[5:18:10]   Bill Maher, he's like 68.[5:18:12]   They thought he was cool. Don't listen to the Sex[5:18:14]   Pistols. That's not...[5:18:16]   That didn't click, you[5:18:18]   know, work for that guy.[5:18:20]   So watch this. That's punk[5:18:22]   rock. Steve Jones from the Sex Pistols[5:18:24]   wrote a book and Danny Boyle, who did[5:18:26]   Trainspotting and Slumdog Millionaire,[5:18:28]   he made a miniseries[5:18:30]   out of it. About the early days of[5:18:32]   punk rock in London.[5:18:34]   It's so cool.[5:18:36]   You should love it. You're a punk rocker.[5:18:38]   I am not.[5:18:40]   Not the music. I know,[5:18:42]   but your attitude has always been[5:18:44]   a punk rock attitude. Is that right? I[5:18:46]   believe that.[5:18:48]   You know, you could actually[5:18:50]   glamour Bill, and that's what Lafayette,[5:18:52]   you know, True Blood, another term,[5:18:54]   great term from True Blood, glamouring[5:18:56]   people. That's where you put a little spell[5:18:58]   on them. You could trick Bill Maher[5:19:00]   into anything. If Bill Maher[5:19:02]   is starting to get a little too[5:19:04]   picky on you, just be like, you know,[5:19:06]   you're actually great. You're actually why[5:19:08]   I got into this business. You're like an[5:19:10]   inspiration. Oh,[5:19:12]   well, OK, well, I don't know[5:19:14]   about that.[5:19:16]   Really, he's that easy.[5:19:18]   So that's kind of Jeff goes, fuck, how do I[5:19:20]   get out of this? Well, you're a punk. You're a punk rock.[5:19:22]   And this kind of works on Bill[5:19:24]   for a second. For a second.[5:19:26]   I am not. I'm not[5:19:28]   the music. I know. But your[5:19:30]   attitude has always been a punk[5:19:32]   rock attitude. Is that right? I believe[5:19:34]   that. Well, one of the things I like about[5:19:36]   you. Well, then send me the lyric sheets[5:19:38]   because the music sucks.[5:19:42]   The music sucks.[5:19:44]   Right. Listen, people think,[5:19:46]   you know, and that's why I hate this term punk. I don't like[5:19:48]   the sex pistols either. I don't like the clash.[5:19:50]   I don't like any of that exploited. I don't[5:19:52]   like that old school[5:19:54]   weirdo stuff that[5:19:56]   is weird to me.[5:19:58]   But I mean, if it was on, you wouldn't[5:20:00]   be like this. Yes, I would. I would go turn this off.[5:20:02]   No, obviously. No, no, no. But I[5:20:04]   understand what's happening here.[5:20:06]   But to him, all he's hearing is this[5:20:08]   nasty, disgusting English[5:20:10]   garbage. He can't even believe[5:20:12]   he's associated with somebody who would listen to that.[5:20:14]   In his mind, it's like just a guy with a[5:20:16]   mohawk who's got no mind.[5:20:18]   You're banging into the wall.[5:20:20]   So he's very confused.[5:20:22]   Things I like about you. Well, then send me[5:20:24]   the lyric sheets, because the music[5:20:26]   sucks. I never thought[5:20:28]   anarchy in the U.K.[5:20:30]   OK, great.[5:20:32]   And by the way, anarchy is[5:20:34]   stupid. Yeah. So, you know, the[5:20:36]   idea of being pro[5:20:38]   anarchy immediately not[5:20:40]   respecting your work. If you're a[5:20:42]   19 year old. Yes. OK.[5:20:44]   Well, that's why we shouldn't let 19 year olds[5:20:46]   control the idea.[5:20:48]   All right. You're right. The sex pistols suck.[5:20:50]   No one likes the sex pistols.[5:20:52]   Maybe they have other attributes.[5:20:54]   They just started something[5:20:56]   that spawned modern...[5:20:58]   They started something that sucked more.[5:21:00]   They started something... You don't like the[5:21:02]   Clash and the Ramones? No.[5:21:04]   Punk rock. We're talking about three...[5:21:06]   I love how that blows Jeff's mind.[5:21:08]   You know, if he's never...[5:21:10]   You don't like the Ramones? No, I don't like[5:21:12]   the Ramones.[5:21:14]   I love that.[5:21:16]   That happens to me once a week where I have to[5:21:18]   explain to somebody that, yes, this is exactly[5:21:20]   what I'm saying. It's like they say to me with[5:21:22]   comedians, but you don't like this guy? You don't like him?[5:21:24]   No![5:21:26]   ...cords. I think I know what[5:21:28]   punk rock is. Now, maybe they did...[5:21:30]   I will say this. I think there's a[5:21:32]   band that started punk rock.[5:21:34]   Maybe there's more than one. Yeah, I'm sure there is.[5:21:36]   There's a band, I believe, started[5:21:38]   Punky[5:21:40]   and then became[5:21:42]   an awesome band when...[5:21:44]   OK. There's a band that he[5:21:46]   does like. They started[5:21:48]   Punky. But then[5:21:50]   became... Became[5:21:52]   amazing in a real band.[5:21:54]   We're gonna let you decide who is[5:21:56]   the band. Don't tell us if you've already seen it,[5:21:58]   Abby. So that is cheating.[5:22:00]   But guess. You gotta guess.[5:22:02]   And there's no glory in guessing if you[5:22:04]   know.[5:22:06]   Yes, only guess if you just[5:22:08]   honestly guess. Yeah, there's no glory in there.[5:22:10]   You're not gonna go to bed thinking you're a champion.[5:22:12]   But in the end, we will sweetly believe.[5:22:14]   We will sweetly believe.[5:22:16]   So what band do you think he does[5:22:18]   like? Punky.[5:22:20]   P-U-N-K-Y.[5:22:22]   Someone guesses. What band[5:22:24]   started Punky? But now is[5:22:26]   real music. Not like that horse[5:22:28]   shit they used to make. I'll give you[5:22:30]   a tip. Not like that horse shit they used to make[5:22:32]   in 1994.[5:22:34]   Some people have guessed it.[5:22:36]   Some people have guessed it. Yeah,[5:22:38]   let's play it and see if they're right.[5:22:40]   Punky[5:22:42]   and then became[5:22:44]   an awesome band who I love and that is[5:22:46]   Green Day.[5:22:54]   It's worse than it used to be[5:22:56]   in fact, Bill Maher. The new[5:22:58]   Green Day is way[5:23:00]   worse and it's everything that you claim[5:23:02]   to hate about punk is more[5:23:04]   of the new Green Day, I would say.[5:23:06]   The old Green Day had some very[5:23:08]   creative songs. I mean, that Dookie album, every song[5:23:10]   on that album was creatively done.[5:23:12]   It wasn't just three chords.[5:23:14]   I mean, did you hear[5:23:18]   that's not three.[5:23:20]   It's a lot of notes.[5:23:22]   And I can't do it and[5:23:24]   and sing at the same time. I could play it, but I[5:23:26]   cannot do that and sing at the same time.[5:23:28]   Those are my limits.[5:23:30]   They actually got way worse. I[5:23:32]   would say that Green Day used to be[5:23:34]   good[5:23:36]   and now it is horrible and then[5:23:38]   I'm going, oh, wait, I know why[5:23:40]   he likes Green Day.[5:23:42]   Because he's politically[5:23:44]   incorrect. Politically.[5:23:46]   Remember Green Day[5:23:48]   did their whole, we hate George[5:23:50]   Bush when he was on his big[5:23:52]   so that lined up[5:23:54]   so he thinks like American Idiot[5:23:56]   and all that stuff is like genius[5:23:58]   because of its political message.[5:24:00]   But he's too[5:24:02]   stupid. So, yeah, that's what's happening[5:24:04]   and it couldn't be more cringe. I mean, like[5:24:06]   those Green Day political songs like[5:24:08]   literally we have gasped.[5:24:10]   We've like made fun of those over the years[5:24:12]   so many times. Remember that on[5:24:14]   award shows? It's[5:24:16]   like horrendous.[5:24:18]   So the fact that it's so the opposite[5:24:20]   of whatever you would think is cool[5:24:22]   is so funny to me. Here,[5:24:24]   let's watch Bill do that again and[5:24:26]   explain. I will say this.[5:24:28]   I think there's a band that[5:24:30]   started punk rock. Maybe there's more[5:24:32]   than one. Yeah, I'm sure there is. There's a band[5:24:34]   I believe started Punky[5:24:36]   and then[5:24:38]   became an awesome band[5:24:40]   who I love, and that is Green Day.[5:24:42]   Am I wrong about that? Were they[5:24:44]   punk at the beginning? They would still consider[5:24:46]   themselves punk, I think. They are[5:24:48]   so well, if that's punk,[5:24:50]   it's like punk made[5:24:52]   palatable because[5:24:54]   they're I mean like[5:24:56]   American Idiot[5:24:58]   21st century, that one.[5:25:00]   It's the worst song I've ever heard. The songs[5:25:02]   are not punk. That's like how[5:25:04]   people are like, oh, I like Eminem and then people[5:25:06]   are like, oh, like the monster[5:25:08]   and[5:25:10]   no. It's almost like the[5:25:12]   same thing. It's like the[5:25:14]   Green Day could have some of[5:25:16]   your favorite songs. You know, also the most[5:25:18]   cringe worthy song that you[5:25:20]   cannot go near that you actually[5:25:22]   cannot stomach. Eminem[5:25:24]   too, right? I created a monster[5:25:26]   lives on my street. Well, that sounds cool[5:25:28]   because it has Rihanna. I wanted the fame, but not[5:25:30]   the cover of Newsweek.[5:25:32]   That's a great line. That is[5:25:34]   one of the fame, but not the cover of[5:25:36]   Newsweek. Oh, well.[5:25:38]   Oh, well.[5:25:40]   I get the[5:25:42]   punk spirit is in there. They have[5:25:44]   great melodies, but the great melodies[5:25:46]   and harmonies. Not a[5:25:48]   in other words, I'm not afraid to make an entertaining[5:25:50]   good record.[5:25:52]   What a crazy idea. You know,[5:25:54]   I mean, he loves this band.[5:25:56]   Just let him have his band.[5:25:58]   That's what I mean. Everything you like, if[5:26:00]   it's not something you like. Jeff is pretending[5:26:02]   to agree with everything[5:26:04]   he's singing about Green Day. Yes,[5:26:06]   exactly. Jeff is going[5:26:08]   out of his way.[5:26:10]   Entertaining good record.[5:26:12]   What a crazy idea.[5:26:14]   You know, I mean, the Beatles never would have[5:26:16]   done punk[5:26:18]   because they were like,[5:26:20]   well, we know more than. I feel like Green Day[5:26:22]   and the Beatles have a lot of similar sounding[5:26:24]   songs, to be honest.[5:26:26]   Same type of melodies, right?[5:26:28]   Green Day and the Beatles could listen[5:26:30]   to that on the same playlist.[5:26:32]   Same vibe.[5:26:34]   Three chords.[5:26:36]   We could do something else. They were musicians, but the[5:26:38]   Sex Pistols were just literally[5:26:40]   street punks who learned[5:26:42]   how to play after they formed[5:26:44]   the band. Well, they learned how to play. They were[5:26:46]   part of a movement that was a[5:26:48]   it was a reaction.[5:26:50]   It was a bowel movement. They were[5:26:52]   they were they[5:26:54]   learned to play[5:26:56]   and then quickly halted that learning[5:26:58]   curve.[5:27:00]   They died. Well, they well died[5:27:02]   again. But it's[5:27:04]   very simple, repetitive.[5:27:06]   It's it's I get it. It's a[5:27:08]   primal scream. That's what[5:27:10]   OK. Well, once I've[5:27:12]   heard one primal scream, I don't need[5:27:14]   to hear the whole album.[5:27:16]   Wow.[5:27:18]   I mean, what an asshole.[5:27:20]   Was there any more to this part?[5:27:22]   That was pretty[5:27:24]   much it. They talk about it a little longer, but[5:27:26]   it's more of the same. Well, why don't you go to like[5:27:28]   one oh five and see[5:27:30]   how much tequila is left. Yes.[5:27:32]   That is a great call. One oh[5:27:34]   five. And then after this, I think we[5:27:36]   I believe we have our imposter[5:27:38]   results coming up[5:27:40]   right after this. So one oh five.[5:27:42]   And let's see how much of that tequila[5:27:44]   is left because you did give him a full cup.[5:27:46]   A full[5:27:48]   send, as I call it. All right.[5:27:50]   Let's see what happens here. Ooh.[5:27:52]   So we are one oh five here[5:27:54]   and that's tequila, really?[5:27:56]   Maybe a couple sips[5:27:58]   couple sips, but quite[5:28:00]   the waste. Yeah. I'm going to do some[5:28:02]   more bumping Mike States with a tail. Oh, bumping[5:28:04]   those. OK. I'll see you[5:28:06]   in Hawaii. Why don't we[5:28:08]   plug that one? OK. Bill[5:28:10]   Marr. Before Thanksgiving.[5:28:12]   Very nice. OK. Bill Marr.[5:28:14]   Thanksgiving, Hawaii.[5:28:16]   Every year. Oh, New Year's Eve.[5:28:18]   I go to Hawaii to see Bill Marr.[5:28:20]   Oh, it's a hoot. Nikki Glaser[5:28:22]   is there. He really[5:28:24]   abducts some comics. You know, these comics all do[5:28:26]   these New Year's Eve shows. You know, it's like[5:28:28]   a big scam for them. It's a big payday[5:28:30]   for them. They charge people[5:28:32]   like $500 admission as if[5:28:34]   it's like a club night thing. Yeah.[5:28:36]   And everybody eats as you go.[5:28:38]   What kind of fucking loser[5:28:40]   performs on New Year's?[5:28:42]   Like, think about how much of a loser you'd have[5:28:44]   to be. It's like you're giving up a new year[5:28:46]   of your life[5:28:48]   to do a job?[5:28:50]   You don't work on New Year's unless you're a loser.[5:28:52]   Hear that, Bill?[5:28:56]   Checkmate. Yes, no.[5:28:58]   December 30th in Maui.[5:29:00]   Yeah, checkmate. I'm going to start using that[5:29:02]   a lot. Checkmate, motherfucker.[5:29:04]   That's going to be my new[5:29:06]   line. I hate it.[5:29:08]   I know. T-shirts.[5:29:10]   Checkmate, motherfucker. We'll see who[5:29:12]   actually, you[5:29:14]   know, and people will say,[5:29:16]   oh, he's taken it. He must have gotten[5:29:18]   it from Tate. Checkmate.[5:29:20]   Oh, that's bad. That is[5:29:22]   bad. I wonder if anyone has it as their sign-off[5:29:24]   still. All right. Let's look[5:29:26]   at this poll. You want to send that over to me?[5:29:28]   I texted it to you. It's[5:29:30]   clickable. Yes. This is a straw[5:29:32]   poll.[5:29:34]   And, you[5:29:36]   know, I always think of that great line, straw[5:29:38]   poll argument,[5:29:40]   you know, that people always say when they're[5:29:42]   arguing. Oh, that's a straw.[5:29:44]   Okay.[5:29:46]   Just tell me you think my[5:29:48]   argument's bad then. Okay.[5:29:50]   That's a straw. All right.[5:29:52]   Imposter contest part one. Wow, look at this.[5:29:54]   So it's all coming clear to a lot[5:29:56]   of people. Yeah. Well, I think I've[5:29:58]   revelted, but I could take[5:30:00]   my time here.[5:30:02]   All right. Coming in in third place.[5:30:04]   Shouldn't we have some music, some dinner[5:30:06]   music? Yes. Everything's dinner music[5:30:08]   to me now. It's the easiest one[5:30:10]   to do.[5:30:12]   You know, it just works for all the kids.[5:30:14]   Thank you. Oh, yes.[5:30:16]   So coming[5:30:18]   in at number three.[5:30:20]   And maybe we should pull[5:30:22]   them up so we could remind people who they are.[5:30:24]   You know what? I've closed all those[5:30:26]   documents. I'm sorry.[5:30:28]   All right. Coming in at number three[5:30:30]   with 27 votes.[5:30:32]   20% of the vote.[5:30:34]   Max.[5:30:36]   I liked Max. It's okay,[5:30:38]   Max. You were[5:30:40]   still in the top three, my man.[5:30:42]   Coming in. That could be[5:30:44]   really crushing to somebody. I've never actually[5:30:46]   you know, to think of it, I watch a lot of these[5:30:48]   contests and I always am saying to the[5:30:50]   judge, like, Jesus Christ,[5:30:52]   man. So you got to think these people[5:30:54]   are at home. You know, they're really[5:30:56]   sitting there. This is really nerve-wracking[5:30:58]   to them. A thousand dollars on the line,[5:31:00]   a chance to be me,[5:31:02]   you know, live out their fantasy,[5:31:04]   live out their Hollywood[5:31:06]   dream, and then you just crash it.[5:31:08]   Oh, he didn't get any votes.[5:31:10]   That's fucking cruel.[5:31:12]   So here at Red Bar.[5:31:14]   We'll just, you know, we're aware[5:31:16]   that that is cruel. Thank you.[5:31:18]   Okay, let's see who came in number two.[5:31:20]   Coming in[5:31:22]   second place, which is a meaningless[5:31:24]   place in this contest.[5:31:26]   Sorry to waste your time.[5:31:28]   But it is[5:31:30]   36% of the vote.[5:31:32]   Guy[5:31:34]   with a jewels slash gun.[5:31:36]   That was the guy with[5:31:38]   jewels[5:31:40]   person with the gun. I'm so sorry.[5:31:42]   You've lost, but these guys were all great.[5:31:44]   I can't believe it's not a tie. It's almost a[5:31:46]   tie, except for Max.[5:31:48]   Sorry, Max.[5:31:50]   And a lot of people are saying they're going to do[5:31:52]   stuff to you now, I hear.[5:31:54]   That's what I'm hearing. It's all over Twitter.[5:31:56]   Okay, and then[5:31:58]   of course, number one, you guys can see it. It's not like[5:32:00]   a surprise here. The British[5:32:02]   guy, he won 43%[5:32:04]   of the vote.[5:32:06]   The British guy.[5:32:08]   This is amazing. Congratulations.[5:32:10]   Let's have our last drink of the night here[5:32:12]   with the[5:32:14]   British guy. And now[5:32:16]   you know, this contest isn't all fun[5:32:18]   and games. It's a lot of work. You got[5:32:20]   to get to work. I've got a lot of appointments[5:32:22]   coming up this week. So[5:32:24]   clear your calendar,[5:32:26]   bro. You are me.[5:32:28]   Doctor's visits.[5:32:30]   Dennis appointments. You got to go to the Jeep[5:32:32]   dealership for me. Figure out this[5:32:34]   death wobble. Okay, I got[5:32:36]   a lot of tasks coming up[5:32:38]   and you're going to be doing all of them.[5:32:40]   But cheers to all of our beautiful contestants.[5:32:42]   And you can still enter[5:32:44]   this contest. We're going to keep it for[5:32:46]   four episodes, I think. Four episodes[5:32:48]   worth. Okay, so[5:32:50]   submit your entries to[5:32:52]   mike at redbarradio.net. Please[5:32:54]   label it imposter contest[5:32:56]   in the subject line and submit your audition tape.[5:32:58]   I had a lot of people write me[5:33:00]   as to why they should be the imposter.[5:33:02]   I said, that's great. Send[5:33:04]   a tape. Which I love saying[5:33:06]   is an old comedy club owner.[5:33:08]   Cheers to everybody here[5:33:10]   tonight and our great contestants.[5:33:12]   Thank you.[5:33:14]   Wow, look at that.[5:33:20]   We'll take a break. We'll be right back[5:33:22]   with much more on this beautiful[5:33:24]   red bar show. See you soon.[5:33:30]   Is that you?[5:34:00]   What else?[5:34:30]   Oh, you[5:34:32]   know, just how can go. Trap[5:34:34]   House Bando[5:34:36]   commando[5:34:38]   play females like a banjo[5:34:40]   each time.[5:34:42]   New Jersey, I'm Tony[5:34:44]   Sabrina.[5:34:46]   Yeah, you don't get my flannel.[5:34:48]   You don't like what you hear and we[5:34:50]   can't change the channel.[5:34:52]   I can't just like I had to[5:34:54]   spend my annual[5:34:56]   copy me.[5:34:58]   Being casual.[5:35:00]   Radical.[5:35:02]   Come on, let's be rational.[5:35:04]   Smooth hustle.[5:35:06]   Big split.[5:35:08]   My ears, neck and wrist[5:35:10]   split.[5:35:24]   You know what camera?[5:35:26]   I 100% agree with your perspective.[5:35:28]   Welcome back everybody.[5:35:30]   Thank you so much.[5:35:32]   Thank you all for being here.[5:35:34]   And you made it to the end of the program[5:35:36]   during the hurricane. Thank you guys so much.[5:35:38]   And we prepared this for you[5:35:40]   today.[5:35:42]   I hope you like it.[5:35:56]   Oh,[5:36:14]   closed on Sunday.[5:36:16]   You're my chick fillet[5:36:18]   closed on Sunday.[5:36:20]   You're my[5:36:22]   chick fillet[5:36:24]   Hold the selfies, put the gram away Get your family, y'all hold your hands and[5:36:32]   pray When you got daughters, always keep them safe[5:36:38]   Watch out for vipers, don't let them indoctrinate Close on Sunday, you my Chick-fil-A[5:36:48]   You my number one with the lemonade Raise our sons, train them in the faith[5:36:57]   Through temptations, make sure they're wide awake[5:37:03]   Follow Jesus, listen and obey No more living for the culture, we no party[5:37:11]   slave Stand up for my home, even if I take this[5:37:21]   walk alone I bow down to the King upon the bone[5:37:27]   My life is his, I'm no longer my own I pray to God that he'll strengthen my hand[5:37:37]   They would think twice before stepping on my land[5:37:42]   I taught my line, it's written in the sand Taught me and you were seated, I am planned[5:37:52]   Now, back up off my family, move your hands I got my weapons down in Spirit's land[5:38:02]   Ah, judge about, don't even stand a chance Yeah, judge about, don't even stand a chance[5:38:13]   Another hit show, Jules