episode: RED BAR RADIO S20 E06
mentions
transcript
[0:00:00] ["Pomp and Circumstance"][0:00:30] ["Pomp and Circumstance"][0:01:00] And now you're under my control.[0:01:02] Oh my God![0:01:06] Mike, it's your day[0:01:09] He brings you the world[0:01:11] The stars and the songs[0:01:14] Mike, it's your day[0:01:17] He does what you'd like to[0:01:20] Takes you along[0:01:22] Mike, it's your day[0:01:31] Oh, isn't it good to see everybody?[0:01:33] See, I gotta tuck it out of...[0:01:34] This is like, I use this voice during my pre-show[0:01:37] to kind of just cut through the frequency, you know?[0:01:40] So you gotta slowly go into your real voice here.[0:01:43] Hi, everybody! Welcome back to the Credibility Bar![0:01:47] Hey![0:01:48] Hey! Jules is here![0:01:49] We also have Jules in the house.[0:01:51] What's up? What's up?[0:01:52] Jules in the house![0:01:54] This is gonna be a very difficult podcast to do.[0:01:57] Why? Because you're lying and making up a bunch of lies?[0:01:59] You're about fake breaking up?[0:02:02] Fake breaking up is hard to do.[0:02:06] Got that coming up today, okay?[0:02:08] A little breakup gossip for everybody,[0:02:10] but the real story, you know, the real story[0:02:12] that you're not seeing out of the 70,000 user fighter[0:02:16] and the kid Reddit, okay, great show today.[0:02:18] We've got a brand new enemy that I'm dying to introduce.[0:02:22] You're not gonna believe who is up my ass this time.[0:02:26] It doesn't stop around here.[0:02:28] It really doesn't stop.[0:02:30] Hi, how's everybody doing?[0:02:31] I'm not wearing anything cool today.[0:02:33] It's just a little flannel shirt, okay?[0:02:35] It's very hot.[0:02:36] You saw that person who said,[0:02:37] I can't wait to see what Mike is wearing.[0:02:39] Yes, and it crushed me.[0:02:40] It threw me completely off here at the beginning of the show[0:02:42] because I'm like, oh, my God, you know,[0:02:44] I don't have anything good.[0:02:45] So, hi, how's everybody doing?[0:02:48] I'm excited to drink with you all day, smoke some shish.[0:02:53] We even got two primes for after the show.[0:02:57] Two primes for after the show.[0:02:59] It's gonna be a legend.[0:03:00] Mike drinks prime, by the way.[0:03:01] I love prime.[0:03:02] I went to Target the other day.[0:03:03] They only had a few primes left,[0:03:05] but it's gonna be a very outstanding day.[0:03:08] All your favorites are here, all the good stuff.[0:03:12] I'm trying to think, what would be the funnest way to turn?[0:03:15] Oh, first of all, you say hi to everybody.[0:03:17] Hey, welcome.[0:03:18] Thank you for coming.[0:03:19] Make sure to join our Scars Club[0:03:22] if you're watching for free this week.[0:03:24] Is it a free week, Jules?[0:03:25] I think it is.[0:03:26] This week, it's a free week,[0:03:28] and these Scars Club episodes,[0:03:30] it's not like Tim Dylan's,[0:03:32] well, I don't know, I've never watched it,[0:03:34] but it's not like these Patreon episodes[0:03:36] that are, you know, bonus episodes.[0:03:40] You have to watch the Scars Club episode.[0:03:43] They're the same thing, right?[0:03:45] The same episodes.[0:03:46] You can't miss one.[0:03:47] You're even better.[0:03:48] So you can't miss them.[0:03:49] You won't know what's going on with red bars.[0:03:51] You don't even bother talking to me[0:03:53] if you've never seen those.[0:03:54] Redbarradio.net slash Scars.[0:03:57] I've got a great new Tappin' Skins song[0:04:01] to premiere after we do our rise,[0:04:04] so let's settle in.[0:04:06] We'll have our drinks.[0:04:07] We'll do a rise.[0:04:08] We'll watch Tappy.[0:04:10] It's got a nice song about Big Mike.[0:04:13] Hey, Big Mike.[0:04:15] The fax machine.[0:04:17] And we'll watch that,[0:04:20] and then we'll get our party started.[0:04:22] Does that sound good?[0:04:23] It's Sunday.[0:04:24] We're not often here on Sundays,[0:04:26] so it's a relaxing day today.[0:04:28] Sunday.[0:04:29] We have to keep in.[0:04:30] You know what's so great?[0:04:32] Nobody since the last two shows.[0:04:35] Nobody.[0:04:36] Well, there was one.[0:04:37] I'm not going to lie,[0:04:38] but that's pretty much nobody has asked me.[0:04:41] Hey, is there a show today?[0:04:42] When's the next show?[0:04:43] I must have really scared these people.[0:04:46] What kind of yelling did I do to get them all to stop?[0:04:50] Because whatever kind of yell I did,[0:04:52] I had to figure out that and use that yell for other stuff,[0:04:55] because that worked.[0:04:56] Nobody asked me.[0:04:58] You trained them.[0:04:59] Nobody asked me last week.[0:05:00] Nobody asked me this guy.[0:05:01] One guy asked me on Instagram.[0:05:03] I said, I think I'm taking a three-month break.[0:05:06] Some nonsense.[0:05:07] Some none.[0:05:08] All right.[0:05:09] I'm going to do a rise.[0:05:10] That's the TV, and let's do that.[0:05:12] So let's do a rise here.[0:05:15] Rise.[0:05:16] Rise.[0:05:17] Rise.[0:05:18] Oh, yeah.[0:05:19] This.[0:05:20] I'll tell you what this is.[0:05:21] Rise.[0:05:22] Rise.[0:05:23] Rise.[0:05:24] Rise.[0:05:25] Rise.[0:05:26] How about that for a rise?[0:05:31] They get a rise out of you?[0:05:43] Someone says, because Mike always trolls us when we ask him.[0:05:45] He moves the show every time we ask.[0:05:48] Ooh, is that what they think?[0:05:49] I don't troll, bro.[0:05:52] Okay?[0:05:53] That's one thing about me.[0:05:54] I actually don't troll.[0:05:55] I like how people will tell themselves.[0:05:57] You'll see comedians that, he's trolling.[0:05:59] That's what he does.[0:06:00] He's a master troll.[0:06:02] I ain't a master troll, okay?[0:06:05] I just type an honest statement.[0:06:07] And that's it.[0:06:08] None of this is trolling ever.[0:06:10] For real.[0:06:11] Trolling is for weaklings.[0:06:13] Okay, let's do our Tap N' Skin song, and then we'll have our first martini here today,[0:06:19] which I'm really excited about.[0:06:20] This new Tap N' Skins is called, let's see if I've got it here.[0:06:25] Yeah.[0:06:26] Big Mike featuring Harry Jowsey, Long Guy.[0:06:31] This is gonna be good.[0:06:33] Long Guy.[0:06:34] There's a music video here.[0:06:35] I believe he makes these on a cell phone app called Flixer or something like that.[0:06:40] So he doesn't really edit these.[0:06:43] It appears to be in 4K.[0:06:44] I got people doing 4K around me now, which is nice.[0:06:47] Come on.[0:06:48] Come on.[0:06:51] Can people see the cracks?[0:06:53] Yes.[0:06:54] On the iPad.[0:06:55] Remember when Mersh made fun of you for having an iPad as a sound pad, but then he didn't[0:06:59] mention that it was cracked, which would be the obvious thing.[0:07:02] Was Mersh, what was he making fun of?[0:07:04] There's this guy, Mersh.[0:07:05] What was he making fun of again?[0:07:07] The studio?[0:07:08] The studio was great, but his nitpick was that you had a iPad for sound drops.[0:07:13] Oh, yes.[0:07:14] So there are some people who think it's like pathetic to use an iPad for sound effects.[0:07:21] They think you should like buy some sampler and program those every day and have unlabeled[0:07:28] buttons.[0:07:29] I'm telling you, the iPad is the best thing for it.[0:07:32] I have to use this whole crack one because it's the only one with the headphone jack.[0:07:36] The new ones have a delay because of the digital out.[0:07:40] Nice try, Mersh.[0:07:42] Anyway, Tappen Skins, he's a listener of ours, a father of five, Christian.[0:07:49] And that's the next thing.[0:07:50] We've got to get our listeners to start giving away these kids, giving them up.[0:07:55] But here he is.[0:07:56] Tappen Skins' family seems really nice and sweet.[0:07:58] None of them are nice.[0:07:59] Every time I see him on Instagram, I'm like, he looks like a happy guy.[0:08:03] I don't like it.[0:08:04] All right, here we go.[0:08:05] This is a Big Mike featuring Harry Jowsey, and it's called Long Guy.[0:08:09] Red wire.[0:08:10] Big Mike is friends with Harry Jowsey now.[0:08:13] You are going to be fucking pissed when you see what I'm about to show you.[0:08:18] It's Big Mike and Harry Jowsey.[0:08:20] This is big.[0:08:22] This is really sick.[0:08:23] Careful, Mike.[0:08:24] Watch this.[0:08:25] How are you fucking?[0:08:26] Like, how do you fuck?[0:08:27] That's the real question.[0:08:28] I think I've got it.[0:08:31] I think it just depends on what happened.[0:08:33] It just depends on what your dick set up is.[0:08:37] Because like, I'm a.[0:08:39] You're a heavy hitter.[0:08:40] I'm a long guy.[0:08:42] I'm a long guy.[0:08:44] That's different.[0:08:45] I'm a long guy.[0:08:46] I'm a long guy.[0:08:47] I'm a long guy.[0:08:48] He really said this.[0:08:50] I'm a long guy.[0:08:51] I'm a long guy.[0:08:53] I'm a long guy.[0:08:55] I'm a long guy.[0:08:56] What the fuck?[0:08:58] I'm a long guy.[0:08:59] We'll do it too, I think.[0:09:00] I'm a long guy.[0:09:01] That is the line.[0:09:02] Cheers, everybody.[0:09:03] Welcome to Red Bomb.[0:09:04] I'm a long guy.[0:09:05] I'm a long guy.[0:09:06] I'm a long guy.[0:09:07] I'm a long guy.[0:09:08] I'm a long guy.[0:09:09] I'm a long guy.[0:09:10] I'm a long guy.[0:09:11] I'm a long guy.[0:09:12] It just depends on what your dick set up is.[0:09:16] Dick set up is.[0:09:17] Dick set up is.[0:09:18] You know, a lot of people out there try to understand.[0:09:20] Try to understand.[0:09:21] Doesn't make sense to the average person.[0:09:23] Sex, fantasy, celebrity.[0:09:25] Introduce a longer penis to that.[0:09:28] Have you ever heard somebody talk about how big their dick was?[0:09:31] It's never been said.[0:09:32] One more.[0:09:33] Just looked another man in the eye.[0:09:34] In front of the entire nation.[0:09:35] And said.[0:09:36] I'm a long guy.[0:09:37] I'm a long guy.[0:09:38] Cheers, everybody.[0:09:39] Welcome to Red Barn.[0:09:40] I'm a long guy.[0:09:41] I'm a long guy.[0:09:42] I'm a long guy.[0:09:43] Thrilling.[0:09:44] I'm a long guy.[0:09:45] Thriller.[0:09:46] I'm a long guy.[0:09:47] Sex.[0:09:48] I'm a long guy.[0:09:49] What the fuck?[0:09:50] I'm a long guy.[0:09:51] I'm a long guy.[0:09:52] I'm a long guy.[0:09:53] I'm a long guy.[0:09:54] I'm a long guy.[0:09:56] I'm a long guy.[0:09:58] I'm a long guy.[0:09:59] I'm a long guy.[0:10:00] I'm a long guy.[0:10:01] I'm a long guy.[0:10:02] I'm a long guy.[0:10:03] I'm a long guy.[0:10:04] I'm a long guy.[0:10:05] I'm a long guy.[0:10:06] I'm a long guy.[0:10:07] I'm a long guy.[0:10:08] I'm a long guy.[0:10:09] I'm a long guy.[0:10:10] I'm a long guy.[0:10:11] I'm a long guy.[0:10:12] I'm a long guy.[0:10:13] I'm a long guy.[0:10:14] I'm a long guy.[0:10:15] I'm a long guy.[0:10:16] I'm a long guy.[0:10:17] I'm a long guy.[0:10:18] I'm a long guy.[0:10:19] I'm a long guy.[0:10:20] I'm a long guy.[0:10:21] I'm a long guy.[0:10:22] I'm a long guy.[0:10:23] I'm a long guy.[0:10:24] I'm a long guy.[0:10:25] I'm a long guy.[0:10:26] I'm a long guy.[0:10:27] I'm a long guy.[0:10:28] I'm a long guy.[0:10:29] I'm a long guy.[0:10:30] I'm a long guy.[0:10:31] I'm a long guy.[0:10:32] I'm a long guy.[0:10:33] I'm a long guy.[0:10:34] I'm a long guy.[0:10:35] I'm a long guy.[0:10:36] I'm a long guy.[0:10:37] I'm a long guy.[0:10:38] I'm a long guy.[0:10:39] I'm a long guy.[0:10:40] I'm a long guy.[0:10:41] I'm a long guy.[0:10:42] I'm a long guy.[0:10:43] I'm a long guy.[0:10:44] I'm a long guy.[0:10:45] I'm a long guy.[0:10:46] I'm a long guy.[0:10:47] I'm a long guy.[0:10:48] I'm a long guy.[0:10:49] I'm a long guy.[0:10:50] I'm a long guy.[0:10:51] I'm a long guy.[0:10:54] And count will be featured today of course as always he's on a tear[0:10:58] You know I felt really bad because I believe I had something to do with this shinjo teriyaki's[0:11:06] death[0:11:08] Seriously, and I don't know if I said this on the show do people know what happened. I guess the[0:11:13] X is he the X the former prime minister or president of Japan the former president of Japan[0:11:21] sinjo[0:11:23] was[0:11:24] assassinated by a fake[0:11:27] Japanese gun you know the Japanese government I[0:11:31] I can't believe this is true[0:11:34] They're claiming that they've got very strict gun laws and that there was only one gun death last year[0:11:43] I don't believe that so how are people destroying each other in Japan[0:11:49] I mean is it one of those Chinese stab things that they're doing what is the most common murder style well?[0:11:54] I always see every once in a while. You'll see somebody like on an escalator in China or Japan[0:12:00] and they've got like a mini knife and they[0:12:02] Stab somebody like a hundred times in the neck and you're going you can rather be shot[0:12:09] But you're telling me that you know they were claiming Japan's it's got these crazy gun laws[0:12:14] You can't have a gun in Japan, so this guy made a homemade gun[0:12:18] It looked cool. It looked nice, and he shot. It was a big plume of white smoke, and he shot[0:12:25] Shinzo[0:12:26] Mariachi, and he killed him I put the video yeah[0:12:32] But I feel very[0:12:36] Responsible for this and this might void my[0:12:39] You know I'm I'm half[0:12:42] Citizen I've got like partial citizenship for Japan[0:12:45] I've never been there yet, but I'm dying to use it and this might really fuck that up[0:12:50] Here's the problem so he was assassinated[0:12:53] Now Jules you got to remind me was this something I said on the show or to you[0:12:58] I think it was to me privately so we were talking about how bad[0:13:03] This Biden is you know if I see you. I'm a cracky jaw[0:13:07] I can't remember what we were talking about[0:13:11] This just don't worry about it. This is not a political message. It's just anybody in the White House is bad, okay?[0:13:18] And we were talking about how they don't seem to really care[0:13:23] anymore it's almost like ever since Tana Khan[0:13:28] Everybody's figured out that you could lie cheat scam steal[0:13:35] Fuck over your audience as much as you want and they're gonna come back remember when Tana[0:13:41] I always use Tana Khan as the example Tana Khan was[0:13:45] Was that event that Tana Mangu?[0:13:48] Through that was a huge disaster thousands of kids out in the Sun getting light sunburns[0:13:54] Okay, they had to wait for hours[0:13:56] While Michael rode around on his Segway it was a disaster remember this conference across the street from video con[0:14:05] So when that happened it was like the first big big big disaster[0:14:10] That an influencer had ever caused and we assumed she was done for good. We were so excited by Tana[0:14:18] she's gone for good and[0:14:20] It wasn't three four months till she was back at it and nobody cared[0:14:26] and now that's like standard and we[0:14:29] All know that but back then that was like the first of its kind[0:14:33] We couldn't believe it and now everyone's taking that[0:14:36] Lead Logan Paul realizes. Oh I could do a didn't point[0:14:40] NFT scam and you know what maybe three people give a fuck and the rest don't who gives a shit Jake Paul same thing[0:14:47] That's why everybody's constantly[0:14:49] Lying to you because they don't care if they get caught it doesn't matter you can do whatever you look at Brendan jobs in business[0:14:56] Brian Callan[0:14:57] Sam trip everybody's in business except for Josh Denny you still can't figure that shit out, but[0:15:05] Even the president's[0:15:08] kumala and[0:15:10] President by they figured it out that it doesn't matter nothing matters anymore[0:15:14] Just do whatever you want to do, and then that's fine, and I said[0:15:18] You know[0:15:19] whenever[0:15:21] I[0:15:27] Did this in the privacy of my own home, it's very legal to talk about assassinations alone I[0:15:33] Was saying we got to get[0:15:35] Assassinations back we got to somebody needs to die so that people know that we mean business[0:15:42] hypothetically and[0:15:44] the very next day[0:15:46] The first assassination in years took place cuz I was so he's saying you know what's with these[0:15:51] You know JFK every day you're fearing an assassination attempt, so you kind of you[0:15:58] Do things a little bit better, and I'm sitting around going how is nobody even threatening to kill?[0:16:04] And I don't think that's right don't threaten to kill him, but how is nobody even threatening to kill our politicians anymore?[0:16:12] You know I don't even hear about threats. I'm gonna kill this guy or anything[0:16:16] And then the very next station so yah, but that's he[0:16:19] He was killed and I truly believe I set this into it[0:16:26] I I have that power right I talk about things and I really[0:16:31] Feel for them and FBI you can't be responsible for powers that you can't control[0:16:35] What are you gonna? Do hook me up to the tank for my papa's?[0:16:40] basement well[0:16:41] Deep down in the desert, and I'm gonna be you're gonna do experiments[0:16:45] I don't think so, so I'll show you sin Joe teriyaki, and I feel fuck. I'm not[0:16:49] I don't know why I'm calling him teriyaki. I'm blanking it's not his name is shin, so[0:16:54] Abbe, but it's felt like Abe[0:16:58] Trust me uh-oh the following content has been identified by the YouTube community is[0:17:04] Inappropriate who's identifying this the h3 fans deaf noodles she going in there[0:17:09] This is you see deaf noodles push out when he talked to that East family guy deaf noodles[0:17:14] I'm coming for you[0:17:16] Okay, let's see what happens here. Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh, this is light news by the way[0:17:22] Light news everybody. That's what this is it's a light way to start the show don't even worry about it[0:17:28] Light news here. He is and oh he was the nicest[0:17:32] Sweetie so well we thought that about the Ukraine pre every president you see for the first time[0:17:38] He goes he seems nice like way, and then you read two things[0:17:42] We thought that Ukraine guy was nice the first time we saw him on TV right I go[0:17:53] Just bomb the plate bomb every place[0:17:57] Here he is shin so did he like it. Oh my god look. He's using the Ethan Klein[0:18:03] Yarmulke mask over his mic, which is what the comedian should be doing look at that[0:18:09] Wow that's smart yeah, what do you think there was a snow cone he only eats ice cream, okay?[0:18:15] Let's see if she turned up here[0:18:17] Shinsou Yamagashi for our first light news segment enjoy[0:18:28] Oh, this is gonna be his assassination so trigger warning gory though[0:18:34] It's not gory a man being shot in the back and everybody laughing and then playing with his fucking dick and balls while he lays[0:18:39] There in front of his old populace. That's not bad[0:18:42] Let me tell you something if I get shot and you film it. I'd rather fucking die[0:18:49] He did die, but I mean that's embarrassing you shouldn't show a dead man laying there while you all play with this fucking[0:18:57] Body around all these Japanese fucking suckers watch this shit[0:19:04] Oh[0:19:06] Okay, no oh I thought those were VHS[0:19:11] Isn't that weird the way that the camera and why you hear a gun so you instantly go like this with your camera[0:19:17] That's what you do you hear a gunshot, and you go. I'm filming the guy Oh gunshot[0:19:24] Let's get the ground and they shot the cement the cement look like that fake Final Cut Pro like VHS[0:19:31] Transition okay, so it wasn't VHS it was the ground[0:19:35] Oh[0:19:55] Okay, so the man if you're listening the audio only[0:20:00] There's a man. He was shot. There's his little feedie[0:20:03] Look at that oh[0:20:07] But I feel like I might have willed this into existence I did not mean a Japanese guy[0:20:15] Are you kidding me? I mean you couldn't have killed a leader of a[0:20:20] less annoying town[0:20:22] Japan you know what I mean they only mind their business sweetest guys[0:20:26] That's the monkey's paw rub with all my wishes sometimes they get caught in the wrong little place there[0:20:32] So here, but I want to see the news report[0:20:35] Are they gonna show the guy with a gun and all that crap here Jules?[0:20:46] That's the beautiful gun I want them to show like I like how the news did it where they're like and there was a Chicanito[0:20:53] Yeah, this is great. Yes[0:20:56] Cuz I hate when they write stuff out and you're meant to read it silently in fact[0:21:00] I want to make something perfectly clear cut to me I[0:21:05] Don't want to see text in any video ever[0:21:10] Again, and that counts when if you're clipping me and put me on Instagram[0:21:14] And you do that thing where it writes out the words, please stop. I fucking hate that you know who's doing that column tell them[0:21:22] What's that guy's name from gas digital, but now he had to start his own[0:21:27] Podcast after being a guy for he's like Ashley butter. It would be like if Ashley Butterfield started his own network overnight[0:21:33] Who's a listener of ours from the UK? He doesn't have a lot of money. He's not just a listener. He spends co-hosts[0:21:41] He's not my co-host so oh[0:21:45] this is[0:21:46] For those who don't know what I'm wearing around my neck is a magnifying lens[0:21:51] It's not very good and the reason I'm wearing it today is because I opened an Amazon package filled with Jules's books[0:22:00] The girl buys six to seven very expensive hardcovers every week[0:22:06] just so that we could have a giant library eventually and[0:22:11] I'm going through this package and I see all these stupid books and then I see this in there[0:22:16] And I go what the hell is you're buying this for what to read and she goes no[0:22:21] I thought you bought that and I go you thought that I bought this[0:22:24] Well, yeah, it seems like something that you would buy for sure been wearing it ever[0:22:30] What a great gift Amazon now that I'm thinking of it. I'm worried. It's like haunted or something[0:22:35] It just showed up in our books and nobody knows where it came from. Oh, you're worried about you're worried about hauntings[0:22:41] Not me. I've got that fully under control. Okay, I want to see this news video of makashaki[0:22:46] Oh, but yeah, I did want to I don't like this tech stuff[0:22:50] Every comedian now you go on Instagram and you're doing their stand-up[0:22:54] But just in case you don't have your volume on they have the words free. No[0:23:00] if somebody[0:23:02] Can't turn the volume up for you and step aside and go to the other room and watch your video[0:23:09] Then it doesn't need to be posted. We don't it's not a cooking recipe a fake cooking recipe from tik-tok[0:23:16] Stop with the words and stop copying[0:23:20] Everyone you see on social media for instance. I was on Tim Dylan's social media on Instagram[0:23:28] And if you notice this one Tim Dylan when somebody is watching his show[0:23:33] You know and I get these all the time[0:23:34] It's an ant mention you go and you go this guy mentioned you and it's usually some low-res[0:23:40] Video of a guy filming his screen going red brand radio the best now[0:23:46] What pieces of shit like Tim J Dylan will do since she has nothing to post but he needs to keep frequency up[0:23:52] He'll share that post to his story[0:23:58] And I'm flipping through it and I'm going so Oh people watch the show had no idea[0:24:04] What's the idea? It's like what DJ Khaled used to do when it's[0:24:08] Constant retweets of praise so and I'm sure Tim does is too. He's just one of the many I[0:24:15] Like to use Tim as an example because he should not be doing any of this stuff[0:24:20] There's a lot of stuff now[0:24:21] It's so weird that comedians all do this because having text on the screen while doing comedy ruins most[0:24:27] The Joe one thing if it's like an informational video. Yeah recipe that you don't know it completely ruins it[0:24:34] And I don't even like on Apple music. They start playing the lyrics[0:24:37] It makes every song sound so dumb to read the lyrics[0:24:44] Why does every song by the way shape mm-hmm[0:24:48] Almost every[0:24:50] Fucking song says mm-hmm. Yes, three blind mice is all I listen. Yeah, if I see you I'm a cracky jaw[0:24:56] It's not what I wanted to play[0:24:58] but my point is[0:25:01] stop[0:25:03] Don't panic so Tim Dylan is on social media[0:25:06] And he sees that this is what all these other crap tards are doing is sharing doing this[0:25:11] So then they do it and then the words so all of a sudden, okay, Brian Callan[0:25:16] She's that Nicole Arbour is using words in her Instagram. Oh, then I better be doing you worry yours[0:25:23] You posers think for yourselves[0:25:26] You don't have to do everything just because it came out two days ago. You see everybody else doing it stop[0:25:32] It's not helping. I don't want to see words, and I don't want to see[0:25:37] Listening to the Tim Dylan show right now share you don't need to share that[0:25:42] Sit still be patient look cracked screen crack screen. I[0:25:47] Never thought I'd be this cracked[0:25:49] What was I showing you should so Alabama everyone you ran over your phone with the car?[0:25:53] And that's why it's correct. I did I ran over my phone with the car[0:25:58] And I do not get iPhone screens repaired it is just a[0:26:02] Silly thing to do plus. I don't trust the man with my phone. You know what they want you to do now[0:26:08] They want you to back up your shop back up your whole phone[0:26:14] Delete it all then give it to the serviceman. Sorry[0:26:18] Sorry, yes[0:26:19] What are these people are wildly giving their phones to the serviceman and just letting them have full?[0:26:24] Access to remember when I still lived in Canada, and I was coming on a trip, and you're like you're from Canada, baby[0:26:29] I'm so excited for you to come on this trip. Are you ready?[0:26:32] And I'm like yep, just dropped off my broken screen phone at a kiosk and once that's done[0:26:37] It's all prepared, and then you screamed at me for leaving my phone with a strange man[0:26:41] Yes[0:26:43] No wonder all my passwords are out there[0:26:46] Okay, I want to show you this Kinzawa, Alabama, and then we'll move on to all the good stuff here, okay?[0:26:53] Maybe this will have some some talking. I love this yes. I understand. It's inappropriate[0:26:59] Good evening, and thank you for joining us on this Friday night. I'm Jerika Duncan in for Nora tonight the assassination of former Prime Minister[0:27:07] Shinzo Abe shock not just Japan, but the world flags were ordered in and shocked me speak for yourself[0:27:15] By the way, I saw this woman on Iron Chef is a host the other day[0:27:20] She's very no this girl's got more guts than that fucking Korean from all the Netflix[0:27:25] Cooking shows now that you see if you've seen this woman with the short hair on all the Netflix cooking shows[0:27:31] They found a lesbian Chinese woman to be on every Netflix cooking show[0:27:36] She's as bland as they come[0:27:39] She's a mild gal. She's got a little neck[0:27:42] She's got the biggest neck I've ever seen all right listen to this fucking bitch[0:27:48] The half-staff here in the United States to honor that country's longest-serving Prime Minister[0:27:55] That's a shit bow they say look at that needs wearing a mask of course I wore a mask I got it made last night[0:28:03] And you'll hear why in a second last night 11 p.m.. 1059 had to run to Walmart[0:28:12] Walmart I[0:28:14] Know why Jake and Logan call it Walmart?[0:28:17] Because that place fucking sucks, okay[0:28:21] Really really scary. Do you know people like congregate at the Walmart?[0:28:24] I don't know about you where I was from well[0:28:28] I guess I haven't been but I you know back in the suburbs growing up. You'd go to Walmart[0:28:32] It wasn't that bad[0:28:33] It was like one under target the people were one under target people and the Walmart[0:28:40] I grew up with was right across the street from Sam's Club[0:28:44] So you had a lot of people would go to Walmart and Sam's Club you know you this was your day[0:28:50] You got a real Canadian super stop with the fucking Canada seriously[0:28:55] I want that place gone if I could chop it off push it. You know that the Calgary stamp shut the fuck up[0:29:01] Seriously, you're making me act like Oliver tree, and it's not a bit. I don't want to hear about Canada[0:29:05] I'm never going there, and you're never going there again. I[0:29:09] Got a light up[0:29:14] Walmart is really really bad like to the point where whenever I have to go to Walmart[0:29:20] You know cuz other things close sometimes you need just an adapter. You know my USB little fucking thing broke[0:29:27] So I went to Walgreens, but they don't have anything anymore because Walgreens is secretly closing. Do you know this?[0:29:34] And don't trust the employee[0:29:36] Trust me[0:29:38] Walgreens is[0:29:40] Secretly closing its doors, and then I'll talk about why you go to Walgreens now. They have nothing[0:29:45] Like the shelves are half empty[0:29:48] Like where is all this? What do you mean? It's up. They act like it's like a big conspiracy[0:29:53] They all act like everything's fine, or they'll still say oh, you know cove no no no there's no problem with fucking kovid[0:30:01] You're closing your stores Walgreens, and I'll tell you this a Walgreens near our house[0:30:07] Have itself[0:30:11] Two months ago, we're noticing the Walgreens. It was very empty. It was under construction. We go what the fuck's going on[0:30:17] They go. Oh, no. We're expanding today. I go to that very Walgreens or yesterday, and they weren't[0:30:23] Expanding they sold half their store to open a walk-in clinic from another brand[0:30:31] Walgreens is selling[0:30:33] Halfs of their stores to other companies now[0:30:37] Walling it off in splitting the building with people[0:30:41] That ain't success[0:30:43] Walgreens is closing trust me get your prescriptions out of there[0:30:47] The pharmacy's tear I had to call the pharmacy lady a bitch through the bulletproof glass[0:30:52] She kept me waiting 35 minutes in the line because a Mexican had a question in front of me[0:30:58] It's always a Mexican with[0:31:01] Holding me up[0:31:02] You know which is unfair because this isn't you know I couldn't imagine going to Mexico and holding them up[0:31:09] You know what I mean. I put on a sombrero I[0:31:13] Lock my car with a bike chain, and I mind my own fucking business when I'm in Mexico[0:31:18] I don't sit there. You know in my[0:31:22] What do they have they have the worst cars too?[0:31:25] You know a Mexican is Mexican because of his car so I screamed at her[0:31:28] I called her a fucking bitch through the glass and she hadn't even come back. She was on his stupid phone[0:31:34] You know they've got the bulletproof glass through the Walgreens tracker[0:31:37] She's on her stupid phone over there, and I'm come on come back come back[0:31:41] She was is everything okay with her I go you're a bitch, and then we drove off Jules had her head down like this[0:31:47] But then I had to go to wall Walmart in this place is is a disaster[0:31:53] They come in groups now tribes of the dirty I got to start getting pictures of these people[0:32:00] filthy[0:32:02] filthy disgusting men with their pants white men[0:32:07] Sagging the only thing between me and that white man is a thin piece of his unwashed[0:32:14] Cheap Amazon basics boxer shorts. You know that he's buying a three-pack for $2[0:32:20] Absolutely[0:32:23] Vials I wore a mask Jules you did yes[0:32:27] That's what I was getting to I were I was making fun of this guy with the mask Shinsho Tamagotchi. I[0:32:34] Put on a fucking mask at Walgreens. That's how Phil and I haven't worn a mask in a year right[0:32:42] It was that[0:32:45] filthy I said[0:32:47] And you're walking through it a lot of the clock your shoulder-to-shoulder with crowds of decaying[0:32:54] Disgusting people and it's really like I'm talking about this because I gotta get this out somewhere man[0:33:00] it's been really bothering me the state of[0:33:05] The lower level people in this country is getting gross dude[0:33:10] And I don't know if it's from like you know Chicago's got a lot of low levels there[0:33:15] But here this is a whole nother world you've got a lot of very fat women with the loosest[0:33:24] Fatness you've ever seen there's so sloppily fat in just loose cheap skin, and they were the thinnest[0:33:33] cheapest[0:33:34] shiniest sure[0:33:35] I don't even know where you would get a shirt like this[0:33:37] It's saved you ever seen these women and they were like I you know what get me that girl from kill Tony[0:33:43] Who cuz this is what they look like where they're so fucking dirty[0:33:48] I don't know. I'll find it. I don't know, but you could find her and it's really bothering me. How gross[0:33:55] So yeah, I had to put on the mask because I said[0:33:59] It's just even just from their breath. I don't want to be breathing in their breath at that Walmart[0:34:04] Maybe you should donate them some thicker teas, so it is nice[0:34:07] You know we only shop and every time I step in a Walmart[0:34:11] And it's always because it's an emergency out of every time we step in I go Jules never again[0:34:16] You know I'll wait till the next day[0:34:18] We'll go somewhere nice, and I always break my own rule[0:34:20] But it is nice to shop at the better stores where those people just could not[0:34:26] Get into you know okay. Well while she's so time I got a and then she's gonna show you yeah[0:34:32] We'll pull up this girl from kill Tony. She's so fucking gross[0:34:35] And this is what the people are starting to look like everywhere[0:34:38] Abe met with four of the last US presidents including Joe Biden when he was vice president[0:34:44] Graphic video of the attack shows the final moments of Abe's life[0:34:48] He was gunned down while delivering a campaign speech now[0:34:52] What makes this shooting so stunning no one else do they have a ban on cameras too? Why is there no?[0:34:58] Why why can't I see the fucking?[0:35:01] Homemade bullets go through him strictest gun control laws in the world the suspect was quickly[0:35:07] Apprehended police say he used a homemade gun they confiscated similar weapons along with his personal computer[0:35:13] Oh that rated his apartment[0:35:15] CBS is Elizabeth Palmer is oh they're doing a bad job of showing this homemade gun[0:35:20] We watched a video last night where they couldn't stop showing the homemade gun[0:35:24] And I was so excited cuz I go oh[0:35:27] Everyone's gonna be making one of these guns[0:35:29] very soon[0:35:31] It was like a double barrel thing with tape[0:35:34] I just don't buy this whole Japan[0:35:38] Has no guns thing how are people killing each other if there are no guns?[0:35:43] In Tokyo where it is now Saturday morning there Elizabeth[0:35:50] Shinzo Abe was truly a giant of Japan's political[0:35:54] Landscape for more than 15 years and his death is a national trauma[0:35:59] Death[0:36:02] Shinzo Abe was giving a political speech to a small crowd big mistake shot rang out behind him[0:36:12] Why are they showing this I didn't see that angle before either did I[0:36:18] Show somebody ending ever on TV. That's not a movie[0:36:24] It's not a carton[0:36:27] You never show a man go[0:36:31] I don't know what what implications that's gonna bring to my world[0:36:37] What does that mean?[0:36:38] As far as the underworld and all that paranormal stuffs involved, and you're not supposed to see a guy die ever[0:36:45] That's why Jocko Willings is so screwed up, okay?[0:36:48] Well, that's why he got shot is because there's no guns in Japan he heard a big bang[0:36:54] He didn't know what the sound was so yeah stood there if you'd known guns[0:36:58] He would have jumped do you know the only way I'd get my guns back is if they pride them for my dead[0:37:05] Cold hands, did you know that?[0:37:08] His security oh yeah gun guys, what do you do when you want to go on like a trip?[0:37:14] Cuz they don't allow guns anywhere. What do you do you just sit there shivering?[0:37:18] Do you get a bat do you get a bat with nails through it?[0:37:23] Help me out here gun guys when you travel what do you do?[0:37:29] Because now I don't even want to leave the state[0:37:32] You know what fun is that so what do you do, and I feel like maybe gun guys[0:37:37] Just don't do a lot of traveling. Maybe they don't go to other states[0:37:41] I mean the list is pathetic where you could go this pathetic, Kansas[0:37:47] I'm not going to[0:37:49] Kansas Kentucky I could go to oh, that's great. Yeah, I'm sure okay[0:37:54] Let's wrap this up[0:37:55] And then I'll show you that[0:37:56] Disgusting girl on kill Tony who most people are starting to look like and a lot of wives out there[0:38:02] I hope your wife doesn't look like this the gunman immediately[0:38:06] But it was too late the former prime minister lay in the road with fatal wounds to his neck and chest[0:38:13] Shielded by a black look at that. Oh now. They shield him okay. They let him lay there for look at that[0:38:20] Let's make sure we shield him when we bring him to the airport[0:38:23] With fatal wounds to his neck and chest[0:38:26] Shielded by a blue tarp he was medevac to a local hospital where doctors tried to resuscitate him with blood transfusions[0:38:34] but in the[0:38:36] Suspected that's the guy he's not even so bad. I know they both seem pretty nice[0:38:41] You know he actually looks just like the gunman who shot up that parade in Highland Park this week[0:38:47] By that I mean the gunman from the Highland Park fourth of July shooting almost looks they have the same haircut[0:38:54] They have the same disgusting hair and face[0:38:56] This is like a normal Asian guy[0:38:58] But you hear what I'm saying the guy who shot up the the place was very creepy look like Joe Liszt with bad haircut[0:39:06] But this guy's not so bad look at him glasses who shows up to a[0:39:11] assassination with glasses[0:39:14] This is the worst guy in Japan, and you're complaining how about[0:39:19] Any gun death under 10 you just let go cuz it's not that bad. It's only 10[0:39:24] And is 41 year old Tetsuya, Yamagami[0:39:28] And whose weapon appeared to have been made of packs[0:39:32] Military man you see this this military is about the worst group of people you could ever imagine[0:39:38] Okay, oh, I'm actually from a military. Oh, you know what save it[0:39:43] This is that gun that he made with all the tape you're gonna see a lot of people making this exact[0:39:49] replica gun now to take out leaders tapes and duct tape[0:39:53] Police searching his home found even more homemade guns along with explosives[0:40:00] I know the Japanese cops are wearing the nicest police outfits huge shock[0:40:07] In Japan where strict gun control laws mean shooting deaths are extremely rare. I don't like this. I think that's propaganda[0:40:16] You know I came up with this idea yes last night. They go there was only one[0:40:21] Shooting at all of Japan last year only one death gun related that I don't think so[0:40:28] What I think is happening is there's plenty of gun related deaths[0:40:31] But they claim that there's none so that their leadership could say oh look[0:40:37] My gun ban is working pretty nice on no gun violence[0:40:41] Cuz if you said there was gun violence then all these motherfuckers would want guns[0:40:46] I mean what about mission impossible when Tom Cruise is shooting that people through a window and there you go[0:40:51] It happened all the time exactly. I don't buy this why all of a sudden in Japan[0:40:55] There's no gun death, and I feel like these places that report[0:40:59] There's no gun deaths. They're doing that because it keeps the people from wanting guns if you said there were[0:41:06] 1,200 gun deaths this year that's gonna make a[0:41:10] Million people want to buy a gun to prevent themselves from being gun death[0:41:16] you see come on and[0:41:19] So if you just say there were no gun deaths this year, so no need to buy a gun ha ha ha[0:41:24] It's a scam. It's a lie. Some guy says haven't you seen enter the void gun death yes another example and again well[0:41:32] Then what are they doing? What are they using then?[0:41:34] I don't even want to know[0:41:37] dragon a[0:41:39] sword[0:41:41] And by the way are they all doing martial arts cuz I want to ban martial arts[0:41:46] How about that if you ban guns? I'm gonna ban martial arts. Maybe their fists are so lethal. They don't need gun[0:41:52] That's what people have been saying, but the Japanese people are also so weak[0:41:55] I can't even imagine the hardest punch hurting me from even the toughest Japanese guy[0:42:00] Okay, there was just one last year compared to more than 45,000 in the[0:42:06] Get that out of there, what do I do cut away from that?[0:42:10] I don't know what to do you have to zoom out. Oh, yeah, yeah, okay, okay?[0:42:15] Seiko pakakake I made that fucking happen not like in a bad way not in an illegal way[0:42:20] But my wishing must we got to control that schedule seriously. It wasn't don't just say[0:42:28] Predictions out of nowhere. I mean it could have been what's gonna happen. It couldn't have been 10 hours[0:42:34] You know where I said why aren't they assassinating me and then boom okay? I want to show this kill Tony girl do I have her?[0:42:42] What is the time code are we queued up? Yep look at this?[0:42:46] Make some noise for Toby everybody[0:42:53] Thank you[0:42:56] Come did you know that in Idaho?[0:42:58] Okay, you see this type of person[0:43:00] This is who you see at the Safeways the Albertsons the Kroger's you can't shop there even the nicest fries[0:43:08] You can't shop their fries electronics and whatever that is you know even Whole Foods is becoming a dump[0:43:16] Whole Foods is low-level for losers[0:43:19] You know you got to go to one of these fancy stores where everything's an imported fucking hipster thing[0:43:24] In order to stay away from people like this, and this is exactly the end. Yes. She's wearing a shirt fall[0:43:32] This is a shirt you can see if you could see your belly button through your shirt. It's not a shirt[0:43:42] So this is the type and they've got the greasy hair[0:43:47] They've got the blobs and the wrinkles and the folds and the sex and believe me[0:43:52] She's getting laid every night at these bars by a Hans Zimmer or a Kim or something like that the legs[0:43:59] I mean, there's just no effort put into the people anymore. They just go out completely[0:44:05] Disgusting they don't seem to care[0:44:08] By the way Ari Shafir cringe God[0:44:12] There's anybody been keeping up with Ari Shafir[0:44:16] I mean we're gonna start just showing random[0:44:19] You know I got to build this story because it's worse than you think[0:44:23] Ari Shafir almost everything out of this guy's mouth is like 20 times worse than it's ever been right[0:44:31] Whoa stop[0:44:33] He's got this whole new[0:44:35] personality[0:44:36] Everything that comes out of his mouth sounds like fake faulty cringe. We really got to start examining that[0:44:41] He's getting away with murder. I've got a couple little Ari clips from this, but we could save it for later. I'll see one now[0:44:46] Yeah, why not send it over now very minor[0:44:49] That's what I mean. I gotta start building a case, so I'm gonna show you some minor Ari stuff, but see if you[0:44:58] Understand what I'm talking about. He's been so off and it's one of those things where it's a[0:45:06] We're not really explain well no no no no forget that it's pretty easy to explain[0:45:11] It's one of those things where we're just not paying attention[0:45:15] Enough[0:45:16] We're like letting a lot of crap just slide[0:45:21] You know that's like the theme of everything that's going on the internet[0:45:25] Just people are allowed to do and say all the worst fucking stuff in the world and nobody really cares anymore[0:45:31] I feel like there was a time where it was much more strict. You couldn't just bomb all day every day on[0:45:40] everyone's podcast and act like a[0:45:42] Complete tool and[0:45:44] Not have consequences[0:45:46] So I want to bring those consequences to the mainstream with this Ari Shafir and really start building a case here[0:45:54] Showing you how bad?[0:45:56] He's become it. It's definitely not something we should just[0:46:00] Pass over you hear that[0:46:06] We're really sick of the Jewish aspect of you[0:46:12] Stop he's got to remind you every fucking day. We know that you're a Jew[0:46:18] Trust me, but yeah, here's this skank, and she couldn't be more repulsed. I fucking despise[0:46:25] People like this and they're at bars till for people are fucking him to this girl probably gets laid more than me[0:46:33] Yes, whoa a new sound you can pay $200 a night to stay in a giant potato and[0:46:40] Austin you can just ask me nicely[0:46:44] They got this they got creepy crawl like why are you putting on the hoop most of her bits are about her looks[0:46:51] Being off, so we're allowed[0:46:56] Why can't someone just assassinate her[0:47:02] No you can't wish that I know that's why I took it back I did rewind[0:47:09] Your Honor, I don't know if you've heard my clients rewind sound effect, okay, so[0:47:15] Where were we?[0:47:18] It's from that same episode. Oh, okay, just while you had it. Oh, yeah, give me a time code. We'll show you how bad[0:47:26] It's really bad, and it's to the point where almost everybody again everybody you're y'all so busy that we can't torture him[0:47:34] Or tell him about this you go to these comment section. You don't see any[0:47:38] of my[0:47:40] red bars[0:47:41] Thoughts in any comment section which makes me think the world has gone mad, okay?[0:47:47] Give me a code here, and we'll see how bad our ease become and again[0:47:51] super subtle[0:47:52] Super simple you can go to 26 35 okay. This is a really little they're all very little[0:47:59] That's why you notice little ones like this just send them to me cuz I'm into Ari stuff lately[0:48:04] We are cuz again, it's gonna add up to something big sometimes you got to start small all right here[0:48:09] He is pathetic in this Chrissy D. Do you know Chris G Stefano here?[0:48:15] He is named his special, and I'm not can I hate to even say this. It's so embarrassing for me to repeat[0:48:22] I'll have to though his specials name[0:48:27] This is I don't think I can look at you guys[0:48:30] Spesh e[0:48:32] West she oh really dude[0:48:37] Spesh e[0:48:38] West she was the name of his special[0:48:42] Stunk we did have to turn it off. I'd rather watch back your ball was so he did have a clip of him bombing from[0:48:49] It didn't it is so good. Okay. Let's watch the two Irish. Oh my god[0:48:54] You're gonna fucking die we have a clip of Chrissy D. And he calls himself Chrissy[0:49:00] He's got an insecurity issue[0:49:04] I love[0:49:07] When you find out that one of these guys suffers from[0:49:11] Insecurity ah[0:49:13] How pathetic so he's got his button buttoned up. He's very pathetic. He did a[0:49:19] Giant[0:49:20] Crippling bomber ooh on a special will play that but let's show these Ari clips first, and then we'll do Chris[0:49:26] so this is 26 23 and[0:49:29] Jules what is Ari? Do you know do I know what he was gonna say remember you went to pause? I don't like pre-explain[0:49:36] Just like a hint to me. You know okay here. He is and of course Hans Kim everybody. This is kill Tony the show[0:49:43] Um[0:49:45] Got some exciting stuff about them coming up today. Here you go a trim trim to the brain watch Ari[0:49:51] I would have actually liked to have heard his top three least favorite races, but oh well[0:49:56] I guess we will never know[0:50:00] Ladies and gentlemen that was Hans Kim. Thank you[0:50:03] Oh[0:50:10] Tony leave the singing mic from red bar, okay, please[0:50:15] How horrible is it when anyone else but me sings on these shows I?[0:50:20] Think it's about to happen. Yeah, it's about to happen. Where is my?[0:50:26] Where is what is his name the D. Mad D. Madness? Where's D. Madness?[0:50:33] Wow this is like I spy[0:50:35] We got a big[0:50:36] fucking gag[0:50:38] College style fucking gag coming up for D. Madness D. Madness had no idea[0:50:44] He's been in somebody's plan for the last eight months did he D[0:50:51] D. Madness do you know that?[0:50:53] Somebody's been planning some D. Madness is the big fat blind guy on the base[0:51:04] His blindness stops information from entering his brain you see[0:51:09] When you're blind[0:51:11] You have probably you know 90% less information[0:51:16] That's downloaded to your brain because you can't see so blind people are very fucking stupid[0:51:21] And D. Madness is no exception, and I got a big prank[0:51:25] Perfectly legal if you don't want the prank to happen don't work with Tony Hinchcliffe otherwise. I don't know what to tell you madness[0:51:33] Alright Ari's about to bomb watch this[0:51:35] All right, so the bucket we go. This is where anything can happen[0:51:40] Maybe you signed up for the chance to do a minute here. Is that Andrew WK?[0:51:45] So the band you playing?[0:51:50] This is just one of these little moments, and you'll see these will build over the course of this red bar[0:51:57] Not today, but the whole year the whole world[0:52:00] Ari has been and I'm trying to articulate how he's been[0:52:04] he's I[0:52:06] Mean there's got to be a better word for grant. We can't keep saying cringe[0:52:12] He is like[0:52:14] over-excited[0:52:14] Everything that comes out of his mouth is like dad[0:52:17] You know that's like the only way I could it's like if you were on a date and your dad busted in with sweatpants[0:52:24] and there was a hole in his fucking dick came out and it had herpes on it and it was small and[0:52:29] Then he farted on the way out[0:52:31] That's how embarrassing Ari Shafir is[0:52:34] So the band starts playing like dump[0:52:37] But don't dump don't dumb them like that Andrew WK song from the 90s that every motherfucker knows[0:52:45] It's not a big deal Andrew WK by the way. He's like Sam Hyde[0:52:50] We thought there was gonna be a lot of stuff coming out of this guy and then[0:52:55] He's just turns out he's just got long hair and wears a dirty shirt[0:53:00] So[0:53:02] Andrew WK not[0:53:04] Exciting and it's not like you're not Shazam himself by noticing[0:53:10] Andrew WK is one novelty song which is what our he's about to do[0:53:15] So this is an example of why Ari is bad watch[0:53:20] It's to do a minute here that Andrew WK[0:53:25] You're playing Andrew WK[0:53:29] Ladies and gentlemen[0:53:31] Playing Andrew WK[0:53:33] Nice, I knew it to see I knew nice you guys probably don't know about that. But me and the band we fuck it[0:53:41] If I need to explain[0:53:43] Why that's a huge crime[0:53:47] And maybe you're not really ready for red bar[0:53:49] Okay[0:53:50] Was there another moment, but I think you should go back[0:53:53] Zoom in on Tony's face. Okay. He says is that Andrew WK? Okay, let's see the chance to do a minute here[0:54:04] Can we just pay attention to my bucket pulling here, what does it say? I'm that fortune cookie[0:54:11] Can you not he gets so mad?[0:54:14] I know I don't understand maybe like if I had seven motherfuckers in here saying stuff[0:54:19] I'd be making that face all day[0:54:21] But you know, this is the life you chose so you didn't really like, you know[0:54:26] You're in the middle of talking and now he's talking to the fucking band. And did you hear the band guy was like, yes[0:54:31] Oh did the drummer do a giant quiet laugh?[0:54:36] Okay, let's see. Maybe you signed up for the chance to do a minute here. Is that Andrew WK?[0:54:44] You playin' Andrew WK? Look at his face[0:54:46] Ladies and gentlemen[0:54:49] Nice that part he's got yeah, you know nice by the way[0:54:56] Very fucking stupid not on my watch. This will not fly. Okay, what's our other Ari Shafir moment?[0:55:02] And then we got this Chrissy D bomb. That is so good. I can't believe we forgot to play this[0:55:07] See, that's what's so great about[0:55:09] Red bar. We've got like a year's worth of little stuff that is built up[0:55:14] We forget about it sometimes, but then we bring it back at the appropriate times, which is nice. Okay, what's our next code?[0:55:20] This one is a little bit more build-up, but just play at[0:55:24] 146.55 for one 46 are people laughing at Ari Shafir in there? I'm so happy because[0:55:30] About that WK moment for like three weeks. This is the stuff that you know[0:55:35] Beige frequency is never gonna notice this[0:55:39] Beige frequency ain't gonna pull that part for you[0:55:43] He's gonna do the basics. Okay bass frequency for basic not bass, but[0:55:50] You're not really seeing that part anywhere else. Okay[0:55:54] 147 146 55 Oh[0:55:57] Close to the end here[0:55:59] 140 I know there was definitely way more in this but these are the only two that stuck in my mind[0:56:04] Yeah, of course and again building the Ari Shafir case any time we see it now[0:56:09] We're just gonna show you these little Ari moments[0:56:12] Believe me by the end of the year, you're gonna[0:56:14] You're not gonna even want him to really, you know have a life anymore. Okay, my mom his mom gave me herpes[0:56:22] Did she?[0:56:24] William Montgomery, yeah, William H Montgomery on stage right now and our he's talking him. This is Chris[0:56:33] I think Chris said maybe two words the whole night again. What is with this kill Tony where the two?[0:56:41] Guys just are terrified and they can't talk. Is it too late at night?[0:56:47] Okay, so let's watch what happens to fucking slut like that. She's given all kinds of people herpes[0:56:53] Wow, William[0:56:56] Did you know that Chris[0:56:58] Red band's mom gives fucking everybody herpes. Did you know that Chris?[0:57:03] Cross Chris your name is Chris, right? I thought you were saying cross. Your name is Chris, right, dude[0:57:08] I feel like a civil your name's Chris, right? Yes. Okay. I was seeing what you're fucking[0:57:14] I love watching William dominate these kind and they all get this is the kind[0:57:19] I like William by the way, I laugh at him a lot. William's been doing[0:57:25] We should pay William a bunch of money[0:57:28] You know just to let's do that. Hey Charles over the weekend. Give me write this down on our to-do list[0:57:34] I want to send $500 over to William this week. Just this out[0:57:38] tip[0:57:40] Okay from Mike[0:57:42] $500. Okay. Let's see what name was[0:57:46] Is wild he's a wild beast I should have warned you a little bit or perhaps great feet. Yeah. Thank you[0:57:53] That's why I wear my fucking flip-flops as much as I can don't look at his knees. There's two there two faces. Whoa[0:58:00] He does have actual alien faces[0:58:04] Yes, his knees look like anchor what?[0:58:07] God why I wear shorts tonight[0:58:11] Why don't wear flip-flops and it is incredible paying tribute to the late great guy to keep watching our[0:58:19] Hey, can I can I break in it for a second that lady never came back from pooping?[0:58:25] So we're skip ahead to like 148 30, I'm just trying to set the scene of William like screaming at Chris, okay, great[0:58:32] Great. Yeah, we're just seen setting here just in case people don't know William[0:58:36] But this is he's screaming. Here he goes from now Ari and again. Are he's got a very new pill like[0:58:43] Persona where he's on pills and everything flying out of his mouth sounds good to him, but it's very bad to me[0:58:52] She probably fucking I[0:58:54] Don't know, you know the people that were sitting next to you you guys all come together. What do you think happened there?[0:59:00] What happened?[0:59:01] Her boyfriend was pretty drunk now, but he left after her the whole poop incident, right or was he he was already gone[0:59:10] Go to the shitter. I saw the women's room[0:59:13] Get to the point bitch. Oh my goodness, you know, I just got a bit our he's always wearing the[0:59:19] Thinnest I'm not sure you even get those from Target anymore, you know[0:59:24] Where do you get these shirts and they were hanging off his body?[0:59:27] This is what made me decide I need to start gaining weight again, you know[0:59:32] You don't want to look like Ari Shafir[0:59:35] Okay, very gross. Whoo. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Look at that guy[0:59:41] Okay, let's see what he finally does[0:59:48] I'm excited myself because I don't remember baby energy. So you be careful get to the boy[0:59:55] No, she's gonna try to get you to cash her outside if you grow[0:59:59] Yes, and her boyfriend looks like George Zimmerman[1:00:06] He's got a hoodie he's safe[1:00:10] Okay, you can probably pause here so we all see Williams that's his thing right yeah shut the fuck up he's screaming now[1:00:17] Go to 154 15 Wow[1:00:20] Wow, look at this. We're what's gonna happen. I[1:00:24] Little one keep in mind. Okay, I'm gonna have to use a full scroll here[1:00:29] 154[1:00:30] 13 sure, okay[1:00:33] Just trying to be accurate here[1:00:36] Alright, let's see this[1:00:38] There it is. There it is. I'll trombone it. There it is. You like it nice khaki woody. You like it[1:00:46] My I bet you fucking like it, dude[1:00:48] William what is your deal with Chris? What is happening is wrong with you?[1:00:52] No, I'll tell you what his deal is and then we'll go to the RE bomb this William Montgomery could sniff out[1:00:59] faggot[1:01:00] It's true. He really can and he likes to pick on the comedians[1:01:05] That are always being a little sus on kill Tony and in this case, it's Chris being[1:01:12] timid[1:01:13] Insecure he always he could smell those guys and he always picks on them. I like to believe he's not[1:01:21] Joking. Okay. I like to believe he really gets mad at these guys. All right, let's see this re bomb[1:01:31] Okay, it's become perfectly clear so I'm gonna zoom in on that fucking like it dude[1:01:37] William what? Okay, so re decides it's now his turn to scream[1:01:43] a little copying[1:01:45] Let's see, but he's not doing a very good scream. So here he is. Hopefully they don't cut away and destroy my shot[1:01:52] Let's see that again is your deal with Chris. What is happening?[1:02:01] Yeah, can you believe that Ori[1:02:03] And[1:02:11] Why did William have to save him he would have gotten no laughs stop saving people leave them hang[1:02:18] All right, Ari Shafir. We've got more Ari Shafir moments. Little ones like that[1:02:24] This will build you'll see this story come to a beautiful[1:02:29] Ending okay there wise now, let's show you that Chrissy d-bomb. I think I want to take my first puffer ooh[1:02:37] Here today. Do we have a puff?[1:02:39] Song, let's see what I got here[1:02:43] You can cut to me[1:02:45] Enjoy red bar. We're taking a little puff here. We're getting things started. It's the beginning of a very long Sunday. Oh, it's new music from Kanye West[1:02:59] Sounds like[1:03:11] New ass new tears new bitch who this who else, you know, this bad with two kids[1:03:17] Nobody ever ever gave you shit. Nobody flew to Columbia[1:03:21] You did try in the new West at with the new drip only thing to ask who first to it[1:03:27] Oh, it's you sir. You is a new bitch[1:03:30] Nigga, bitch. Oh, big don't have one with me[1:03:39] Summer they were down buddy better act make they know who the fuck you now. There's a new bitch got a party table[1:03:46] Oh[1:03:50] Did he say Ruth's Chris[1:03:52] He loves her it's Chris. That's funny cuz[1:03:54] When I heard Ruth Chris is where poor people go thinking it's their birthday, you know where they give you the steak[1:04:00] I'm hot plate and the waiter is all tall[1:04:04] Kanye probably had to go to a bunch of his bomb[1:04:07] friends birthdays[1:04:09] in Chicago when he lived in Chicago probably Ruth's Chris is where like[1:04:14] Stupid people go thinking it's a big fancy night out, right?[1:04:18] So he probably had to go there, but isn't that interesting?[1:04:20] Otherwise, why would he be there if it weren't for his cousin after cousin after cousin?[1:04:32] Let's show this Chrissy D bomb it's really good. This is from his special. I actually remembered it's not from his[1:04:41] Compilations, yeah, they've been doing Netflix as a new thing called[1:04:48] Watch Bill Burr bring out his friends while he bombs, which is incredible[1:04:53] What were they said like Netflix and friends funny and friends like Netflix comedy festival and then they just recorded. Yeah it all[1:05:00] Okay. Oh, yeah, it was at Netflix never not funny fest[1:05:06] Okay, yeah, I guess we'll watch all three of these here Christie's to funnel bomb I gotta open this up in neat flax[1:05:16] My favorite fucking letter[1:05:18] Where did I see somebody was calling somebody and then and it was like the most inappropriate use of N[1:05:23] It was like something in an Kumi. Oh, no, remember it was privately between me and you and it was like a guy[1:05:29] Oh, I can't even say I can't I'll tell you wait. Well, what is it?[1:05:34] Well, just let me tell the story cuz I don't want to give too many things away a listener[1:05:41] Fuck I don't know how to do it without giving everything away. I think I could give it away[1:05:46] We don't know. I'll give it away. It's not gonna give away anything from today. Is it fuck? No[1:05:52] I have no idea what this is[1:05:57] Just stay out of it while I tell the story, please[1:06:01] So[1:06:02] We have such great listeners. They've been getting us like gifts here cut to the break screen really quick[1:06:08] Jules cut to the break screen cuz I got a bend over. I'm not wearing[1:06:12] Pants, hold on a second here[1:06:15] Don't cut back cuz I swear to God my whole[1:06:21] Okay, yeah turn it up[1:06:24] So thank you to whoever bought us this look at this[1:06:27] So I never talk about stuff like this and we generally[1:06:31] Generally don't accept gifts or donations. You want to hear a cute story?[1:06:37] Yesterday somebody messaged me and they're like, dude, how have I not been scars Club for so long and it's so good[1:06:44] I owe you money. What's your venmo? I'm like ha ha ha classic[1:06:49] copy and paste got the fuck about it. I'm just kidding and I[1:06:53] Said oh no, please we do not accept donations. Thank you, which[1:07:00] should be being said by[1:07:03] The people much bigger than me Ethan Klein, for example, we'll sit there every day and take[1:07:11] Thousands we're talking it could be ten thousand dollars. Listen to this. This is gonna make you sick[1:07:17] Ethan Klein[1:07:19] takes about[1:07:21] $10 per episode in[1:07:24] Donations from his listeners. I'm not kidding[1:07:27] They have a members only chat during their live show now those members had to pay[1:07:33] I don't know how much it is. There's probably tears when you see tears[1:07:38] You're gonna be in tears because it means you're being ripped off by your favorite content creator[1:07:42] If you see tears turn around and get the fuck out of that store[1:07:48] Do you know what tears are when you go to somebody's patreon they're like five bucks gets you the show[1:07:54] Six dollars gets you the real show[1:07:58] $7 gets you a picture of me with the show and so on and so on. I'm pretty sure that he does here[1:08:04] Let me go check right now because I think I must have three[1:08:07] like[1:08:08] $29 the tears[1:08:10] Which I've been actually people have come to me fans have come to me and they say oh dude[1:08:16] I'd pay $20 a month and I said can't do it[1:08:21] Show those tears. It's like Tim Dillon knows that he shouldn't have the tears[1:08:27] Ethan knows she shouldn't have that and whoever has the chair[1:08:29] I don't know who has the tears and who doesn't but if you have tears you're taking advantage of your fans[1:08:34] You're stringing them along you're treating your fans like a Costco price tag[1:08:38] It's only[1:08:39] 58[1:08:41] 98[1:08:42] We did market research that shows[1:08:45] 98 instead of 99 makes people think they're paying it down[1:08:49] stop tricking people[1:08:53] Stop trying to ring them for everything they have[1:08:57] And just fucking chill bro Ethan has three tears on his channel three tears[1:09:04] 999 and[1:09:05] 1999 but they all give you the same they give you the same thing[1:09:09] But you can give Ethan a millionaire nine you can give and not just a millionaire[1:09:13] It's not like he has 1.3 million. His home was 15[1:09:18] he drives a[1:09:20] Rolls Royce or a Bentley[1:09:24] He lives in[1:09:26] Bel Air[1:09:27] the Fresh Prince's show city[1:09:32] Multi multi multi[1:09:35] millionaire Ethan Klein takes[1:09:38] Donations from his listeners that are already paying anywhere from five to[1:09:44] 1995 and is he doing?[1:09:46] 1995 it is[1:09:48] 1999[1:09:50] 1999[1:09:51] Do you know why they write that because 20 might scare people away?[1:09:56] What kind of sick thinking is that it's still 20 bucks and you're using?[1:10:02] The most evil marketing manipulation that was created by the most evil companies in the world spent your money[1:10:11] Researching this like when you go to McDonald's everything that you're ordering every price that they have was lab-tested[1:10:19] Researched out they used your data against you to figure out what they could get you to do[1:10:25] You should be horrified that people do that to you[1:10:30] You should be sickened that Ethan Klein is doing that to the listeners that he claims he loves so much[1:10:37] Maybe we'll put this on YouTube to embarrass him[1:10:41] You know[1:10:42] 1995 a month and this is what you get you get the show a day early[1:10:47] meaning[1:10:48] Everyone else gets the show a day late. That's all that that means getting a show[1:10:53] Okay. Well regardless everybody. You've heard this one sign up today and you'll get the show a day early[1:10:59] You know what that means?[1:11:01] Sign up today and everyone else gets the show a day later[1:11:05] We just hold it. That's all you do now. They don't even do that anymore[1:11:09] Okay, so now Ethan Klein is offering you you get to chat[1:11:15] Which is fine. That's fine or[1:11:19] What else what else do you get for the membership for 1995[1:11:22] I guess what do you think you just get to be in the chat and then get to be in there?[1:11:25] So listen it is[1:11:27] You're paying[1:11:28] 1995 a month to get to chat and support the show that is already supported[1:11:34] With merch sales from Teddy Fresh, which is millions[1:11:39] and ads[1:11:41] Even if you remember you're getting ads if you remember you're getting the word shit[1:11:47] Censored if it's in the first ten minutes because he'll get demonetized. So you're not getting anything for the money[1:11:54] You're not getting anything special with red bar. You're getting the world, of course[1:11:59] When you're on YouTube, see yourself censoring yourself every second you can to get those ad dollars[1:12:06] Okay, so you're not hearing anything good[1:12:08] You know watching somebody's podcast on YouTube is the same thing as going to an eighth grade class and overhearing. That's it[1:12:15] It's about as exciting eighth grade might be more exciting go spy on a fucking middle school[1:12:22] It's gonna be more engaging than most podcasts. That's the truth[1:12:27] Looking at those guys. What are you up to boys?[1:12:30] getting dressed[1:12:32] And now that I think of it[1:12:34] They actually introduced their membership thing because they were like, we're always censoring ourselves for YouTube[1:12:40] Yes, listen to this and we're gonna start a new show[1:12:43] This is what they did three after dark where we can say whatever we want and let me repeat all that for people who can't[1:12:50] understand[1:12:51] woman[1:12:53] So, yeah, that's the crazy part about it[1:12:56] they came up with this members only thing where they charge $19.95 a month and[1:13:01] Believe me, most of their members are paying that because they want to be closer to the clients you see and that's the manipulation of the[1:13:08] Podcaster they see how super fanned these people are and they take advantage of that fans[1:13:16] Obsession instead of going no need to be obsessed[1:13:19] Thank you so much appreciate it, but we don't need donations as we're millionaires[1:13:25] but no Ethan Klein charges $19.95 on a censored show of[1:13:32] Crap where 12 staff members[1:13:37] Give him the[1:13:39] Power to say things like that's fucked up. This is fucked up[1:13:44] That's just really fucked up I mean really a show with staff members is fucking gay[1:13:50] This is what I want and it really is offensive to me. I'll tell you this really offends me[1:13:56] There's probably the most offensive thing shows with staff. I've got staff sure her[1:14:03] The wife that's my staff personal assistant every fucking day free[1:14:09] Sure[1:14:11] I pay for the meals, but those meals are being bought for me[1:14:14] Anyway, every day is a feast for me. You should have seen what I got for dinner last night lamb chops[1:14:19] spaghetti Greek spaghetti[1:14:22] Don't get too excited Greek spaghetti[1:14:24] Lamb chops in the kids chicken[1:14:27] I always get one thing off the kids menu to see if they're fucking over the kids and most restaurants are most[1:14:34] Restaurants think it's perfectly fine. Like there's a gourmet restaurant. Everything's great[1:14:38] Gourmet restaurant by the way is what like poor people call a nice restaurant[1:14:44] Gourmet restaurant is like what merch would call like Ruth Chris[1:14:49] Dude, that's like a gourmet sit-down[1:14:52] Restaurant if you one of your friends calls a restaurant a sit-down restaurant. He's[1:15:00] Dude that's like a sit-down restaurant[1:15:04] That's dressy[1:15:06] If you hear people saying that they're too poor and by the way, you don't got to be fucking rich[1:15:11] We hate the rich here at red bar. We despise the fucking rich. Is there anything grosser than a Richard?[1:15:16] Yuck, just be medium be medium[1:15:20] Like us this is what you want to be like us trust me like this. So, um where I got three things spinning right now[1:15:28] I'm the lamb chicken fingers. Yeah, and I've got three stories. I've got Klein[1:15:33] I've got something else and I've got the fucking Greek thing[1:15:35] so I got the kids chicken fingers and I'll tell you this and then we gotta get back to this the[1:15:41] Kids menu on all these restaurants you go to a restaurants like nice. They would never fuck over the adults. They'd be ashamed[1:15:48] They're fucking over your kids order something from the kids menu and take a gander[1:15:54] you should have seen the state of these kids chicken strip, I had never even seen a[1:15:59] Process such as this, I mean not only here's what they look like[1:16:07] frozen[1:16:08] cafeteria stretched[1:16:10] langoliers[1:16:12] But not even from America from a place like Korea[1:16:17] Imagine you're in Korea a lunchroom at a crazy school and all of a sudden they say they're introducing[1:16:24] Chicken tenders to the menu, but Korea is like never even tried chicken tenders[1:16:29] So you're getting some weird fucking limp you try to hold the chicken. It's got well the chicken finger flop[1:16:35] It's got chicken flop[1:16:38] That's like that and I got three chicken fingers that I wouldn't wish on my worst[1:16:44] I could not believe they were trying to pass us off seven ninety nine kiddo and I opened the tray[1:16:51] First of all, I'm hit with steam so much that I skipped[1:16:55] my[1:16:56] What do we call it?[1:16:58] That we do at night before we go to that skincare skincare. I[1:17:03] Opened this fucking box of kids tenders and I'm steamed again a facial so hard[1:17:10] I got to skip skincare which is caught what we call[1:17:14] Wrapping up the night in the bathroom there. Why did you this is what Jules will say to me want to do skincare?[1:17:19] Oh[1:17:21] Skincare, I'm so tired. I don't know if I want to you know, let's do it. Let's do it[1:17:26] And then we go and I we've got skincare fridges now Gua Sha Jade roller Jade rollers[1:17:36] Made out of the wrong materials[1:17:38] So, um the kids chicken figures it steams my face. I pick up a tender. I can't even hold it up straight without it flopping down[1:17:45] And[1:17:47] They were trying to think that they looked like who's that character from spun who's always following around spongebob Patrick[1:17:55] Excuse me. What did you say?[1:17:57] Say that I you know fear warning. I didn't grow up with spongebob when spongebob came out[1:18:02] That's when it was that was a gay kids learning show to me Patrick star[1:18:08] Is that the guy with the head that goes like this yeah, okay, imagine him[1:18:14] in the out long and then[1:18:18] symmetrical on both ends the poignant those were the chicken trips and they also had little dots on them to emulate a cook and[1:18:27] I[1:18:28] Bit into them. It was a gray[1:18:32] MDF looking situation like it looked like[1:18:35] You know what Mercia's furniture when you cracked it open and I go guys[1:18:42] $7.99 and they're serving phenomenal adult food. They would never fuck over the adults[1:18:48] So always order something from the kids menu to see how they're fucking over your kids stealing from them. It's like the Paul's[1:18:55] Came to every restaurant goes do you wanna know how to make so much free money?[1:19:00] Did we me and brother can show you how to make the most money I'm serious and it's guilt-free too cuz the key[1:19:09] It's like the Paul's came and gave them this fucking idea[1:19:13] Anyway, I ate that shit last night. And what was why did I bring that up that we got three food?[1:19:20] No, see that's important. So that was one of the three anyway, Ethan Klein. He's taking these donations[1:19:27] I had a guy offer to donate to me the other day. He said what's your venmo? I said, please[1:19:38] And he agreed and he[1:19:42] Respected me gave me such respect, you know, but back to this this on the table here[1:19:48] Occasionally we do have a p.o. Box and occasionally people send us[1:19:53] thoughtful gift[1:19:55] I'm not interested in your cash. I'm not interested in stuff you could buy from a store[1:20:03] Unless it's thoughtful if it's a thoughtful gift that I wouldn't buy myself[1:20:10] That's just a nice gesture. Then I want it. I crave it[1:20:15] It's great[1:20:17] We have a p.o. Box and I checked the p.o. Box and this came and it's a giant[1:20:22] If you can't understand the really cool Pinterest font from Etsy it says[1:20:29] Miracle me, California, that's the brand miracle me[1:20:35] Enjoy your bath time natural therapy for a mind and body and wasn't that one addressed to me by the way[1:20:42] Yes, I'm showing it. So that's why I said stay out of this remember the beginning of this I go. Hey drills[1:20:48] I'm gonna tell a story stay out of this[1:20:50] So[1:20:53] I get this I go is this a box of fireworks is this gonna do I pull the wick out of here and it's gonna[1:20:59] shoot[1:21:06] It's not it's a box of bath bomb[1:21:10] And somebody sent this to Jules and said enjoy your bath, right? Enjoy my bath time. Enjoy your bath time[1:21:17] signed a guy[1:21:20] First of all[1:21:23] We don't have a bad[1:21:26] There's no bathtub I ripped that shit out to build an infrared sauna[1:21:31] Doesn't work. I used it twice by the way the infrared sauna it does not work[1:21:36] Joe Rogan is fully lying to you about that sauna shit[1:21:39] It does not work and the studies are so so weak yet. Everyone just believes any study[1:21:47] These studies are done by people like Lex Fridman[1:21:51] You believe studies it's done by guys rushing[1:21:55] He's Lex Fridman. He's fucking signing papers and then you believe it for life a study from[1:22:02] 1979 interviewed 12 Swedish people who use saunas they claim that they're living a better life[1:22:08] Then that telephone gamed all the way till[1:22:11] 2022 and we're oh, yeah[1:22:13] If you have a broken toe just go into my sauna and you know pretty much it's like wolverines animatium animata[1:22:20] animatium and[1:22:22] It's just not true. And then oh no, no, no, it's not those saunas. It's the infrared. Okay[1:22:27] Well, you didn't they didn't have infrareds in Sweden in the 70s, sir[1:22:30] Oh, no[1:22:31] Well, we did an updated study where we asked another 1.5 guys what they think and then you're trusting some guy[1:22:37] Oh wait, someone says I sent the bath bombs and I'm a girl[1:22:41] Hell yeah[1:22:44] What's your girl's name?[1:22:46] Loopy you chat Mexican girl[1:22:49] Senorita I have like two non Mexican even the ones you think are white way. There's so many please[1:22:56] You click on the profile picture you go. Ooh[1:22:58] Okay, it's full Mexican. I feel like all the girls just messaged me and they're all nice. Oh, really?[1:23:04] Yeah, stay away from me ladies. I don't want any business. This is great[1:23:07] Now I'm gonna enjoy a beautiful bat cuz if it was a guy who sent them I feel like cheating[1:23:11] Well, I can use them also, this is what I want to see get me her Amazon previous orders from the last three years[1:23:17] I want to see if she has a shrink-wrap gun[1:23:20] Because that'll lead me to know if this has been tampered with but that's not the point[1:23:24] The point was we wanted to thank you[1:23:27] And that's not even the fucking point because the point is who did I call an N the other day?[1:23:35] That was so over the lion that leads me to the best story[1:23:40] From out of all of this is that we had a listener send me a bunch of kratom[1:23:49] From his botanicals shop, that's what I call head shops not botanicals shops[1:23:55] We had a list and we have a lot of listeners like this husband-and-wife head shop couples my favorite[1:24:01] We love only three levels under us basically[1:24:04] So that's why we love them so much very close to what we could have been[1:24:09] Had we be like three levels stupider than we are[1:24:13] Which is not an insult[1:24:16] so[1:24:17] Okay, it's a husband and wife or boyfriend and girlfriend same fucking thing and they've got a head shop, right Mike[1:24:24] I heard you're in pain. I'm gonna send you kratom and I'm not like[1:24:28] The way I tell the story is like the biggest jerk asshole way that I could tell it[1:24:33] Okay, I'm not when I really get like a gift like that at home. I go Oh Jules. Look at this guy[1:24:39] We're very thankful I do it like a human being but here I'm a subnormal so I tell it in a different way[1:24:46] So don't be offended. But here's the coolest and and the reason I'm talking about this is because we're about to watch[1:24:53] Christie Stefano and I was hit with the biggest and I've ever seen there it is. Yeah[1:24:59] The biggest and I've ever seen okay[1:25:02] This all ties together sent me the kratom right? It was really thoughtful really nice. I[1:25:07] Am experimenting with it till this day and[1:25:12] The company and I don't think he'll mind this[1:25:15] This is a great plug for your company. Watch this the company[1:25:19] was J and N[1:25:23] Botanicals J and N botanicals[1:25:29] so I go to their Instagram and I see J and N and[1:25:35] And I[1:25:36] pull the picture over to Jules and the picture is of[1:25:41] She just realized what I'm talking about. The picture is a[1:25:45] white man[1:25:48] And I said stay out of this the picture is a white man[1:25:54] With a black woman flat-broke, you know, no, no, I didn't mean to play[1:25:59] So it's called J and N the picture is a white man[1:26:04] and a black woman[1:26:06] And then I turn the picture to Jules and I said, hey Jules, which one do you think is N?[1:26:16] Disgusting I did and then I went on and did a bunch of riffs about how his name is J[1:26:20] J a Y and the company is actually J and N this girl[1:26:26] Anyway, thank you for the kratom[1:26:34] Well, I couldn't believe it J and N and then here's her owner N now, I don't know if[1:26:41] you know for all I know he's N and[1:26:44] She's J. Jackie Nick[1:26:48] It's sick of you to assume but um, I couldn't believe it that somebody has the guts to be like hi. I'm[1:26:56] N and it's like no, you're not[1:27:00] Don't[1:27:02] Say that about yourself. Yeah, you're B a[1:27:07] Bitch no, no, no, these people are great people sent us the nicest package[1:27:12] I can't believe you're saying this right now because they sent us the sweetest with a beautiful note all these little bottles[1:27:19] Okay, well then turn to the chat[1:27:23] One dead end over ha ha ha I'm crying lmao[1:27:28] They even guessed correctly that I get horrible period cramps[1:27:32] Which I do and sent me a special tonic to cure them[1:27:37] Send a Best Buy gift card and piss off. They want us healthy. That's very nice. Okay, shut up[1:27:43] That's why I said stay out of it. I don't like all that talk[1:27:46] Chris DeStefano[1:27:48] bomber ruse on the N channel[1:27:53] And for all I know they've spiked my kratom with some bull[1:27:58] Okay, they would never they're so nice. Where did I find Chris DeStefano here? Did I minimize him? Oh my god. Look it[1:28:03] Why here they said we love you[1:28:06] No, oh[1:28:08] So is it can you ask him which ones end the girl or the guy?[1:28:13] and[1:28:15] And very funny Mike someone says[1:28:21] We want red bar healthy, no you don't gift cards are shit it was a joke[1:28:26] I'm reading the chat for the first time[1:28:28] Jules needs her tubes tied. Yes, she does. Why can't Mike by the way me and Mike don't stop[1:28:34] This isn't Bobby Lee and Kalila shut the fuck up a sect of me. Shut the fuck up[1:28:41] Cuz I don't bring that up I will make sure to send 50 large boxes of tampons to the B of us[1:28:47] Did you think that was funny? Oh[1:28:50] Wait, but his screen name is very funny. Hey, his screen name is very funny. Hey big kike[1:28:56] Is what it said[1:28:58] Grounded extracts says the N is the N really don't call her the fucking[1:29:05] No, I'm talking about him. She's not an N[1:29:10] It would just be absurd if it lined up like[1:29:14] The N was standing under the end, but she is the N you're saying that's what they say, but she's not an N. Of course not[1:29:23] Hey, and[1:29:25] They're great guys and believe me. This is not[1:29:28] What's going through our heads?[1:29:31] Like when you say that I don't want the black people listening to go. I knew it man, man[1:29:39] Listen I don't want them thinking[1:29:41] I'm a told me to be dead like this, but what can you do? That's not what's happening here[1:29:46] That's what's happening with Josh Denny here. We're not sitting around thinking for just going and and and[1:29:53] Stop blaming. What don't you understand of stay out of my life?[1:30:00] We[1:30:01] We're not calling you an N because of the color your skin. We're calling you an N because it's would be remarkably funny[1:30:08] You know how it all just look at the chat. They're all laughing[1:30:13] Chris the Stefano you're gonna fucking love this. So let's open this up here[1:30:19] Parental advisory. Yeah, right, you know what there should be parental advisory stranger things[1:30:26] Gory[1:30:27] Very gory like a lot of confused writers out there making these kids shows where a bunch of people get fucking murdered every say[1:30:37] But no one has a problem with that[1:30:39] And no, it's not Dave Chappelle's noon and net speech that I had to watch this morning[1:30:45] God was that bad Dave Chappelle is not good. Please get over this. You've been[1:30:52] suckered bamboozled tricked[1:30:55] Every day he sounds older and older and more[1:31:00] Speedy now that ails[1:31:04] Man the ails[1:31:06] They're a crazy group[1:31:08] But what we find is shut the fuck up[1:31:11] I mean, he really thinks he's like Benjamin Franklin delivering Independence Day here[1:31:18] Very bad Netflix has been[1:31:22] Really fucking bad lately and[1:31:25] This one was terrible. I'm so excited that we remember this Christie Stefano everybody[1:31:35] This is gonna be good a[1:31:38] Netflix is a joke special[1:31:51] Amy Schumer, I[1:31:56] Mean this is really like a parody[1:31:58] Isn't it funny how like everything you watch now seems like how they would mock it in a really cheap movie about this happening[1:32:06] Right, look at this fucking dance with this face watch her face[1:32:17] Look at this[1:32:22] That's like Ethan Klein and they remind you of Ethan when he comes on nervously[1:32:28] snotties[1:32:33] That's Amy Schumer, you know her[1:32:36] I[1:32:38] Think making fun of Amy Schumer is like making fun of shop. It's too easy[1:32:43] Too easy exactly. That's why we never bring her up. It's there's no reward[1:32:48] there's no glory and honestly, I mean I[1:32:52] Amy Schumer sucks, but she's like on the same level of sucking as most other comics[1:32:57] Every comic is is equal. That's the thing like worse than anyone else[1:33:02] Yeah, and it's like you can't be like I fucking hate Brendan Schaub and Amy Schumer[1:33:08] But Mark Normand is awesome. No, no, no, those guys are just as bad[1:33:15] You know, it's so funny. We live in this world because we shit on comedians[1:33:20] So we cross over with this world of other people that shit on comedians[1:33:23] But what's so funny about their world is that they actually like a lot of comedians[1:33:30] Like you'll hear from them be like dude, I agree with you on Brendan Schaub, but like who do you like[1:33:38] Anybody home[1:33:40] No one[1:33:42] Gay Lord David Spade only made of course[1:33:45] I actually think Tony going you're a funnier woman comic than Amy Schumer[1:33:52] To like some shitty female comic. I think that is more hack than you sound just like Tony[1:33:57] Maybe you should take over the Tony impressions on the show[1:34:00] Is that a threat?[1:34:02] See, that's what I mean. I have a way of speaking that is not very[1:34:06] polite[1:34:07] Hey, why don't you?[1:34:10] You should see the waitresses they go like this with the menus. The menu is not gonna protect you from me[1:34:16] it's[1:34:17] Pop right through it[1:34:19] You see that when I popped through that guy's menu there. He couldn't believe it[1:34:24] Anyway, what were you saying about Tony Tony? Yeah, making fun of Amy Schumer is kind of lame[1:34:29] I'm telling you that yourself at this point. You'll read the fighter and the kid read it and it's like they're not like us[1:34:35] This is right[1:34:36] Don't get tricked by like just because somebody else hates Brendan Schaub by the way[1:34:40] Like every cringe youtuber also hates Brendan Schaub and covers him[1:34:45] Did you know that like your average like wide-angle lens kid sitting in front of his bed is?[1:34:53] Covering Brendan Schaub like all those fucking British fucking youtubers[1:34:59] Apparently in a special joke and they'll like tell do the telephone game and they'll be staying everything kind of like half wrong[1:35:08] So once all those people start doing that[1:35:11] Do you really want to even be mixed up in that anymore?[1:35:14] Not really not really at least I don't[1:35:17] But then you got to realize like the people ripping on people like Brendan Schaub and Amy Schumer like beige frequency types[1:35:23] They still like other comics like beige frequency that guy does his documentaries[1:35:29] But won't show his face because it must be fucking horrific[1:35:32] he[1:35:34] Did a he does only expose documentaries right and then all of a sudden he did a I happen to really like this special[1:35:42] Doug Stanhope Doug Stanhope and the special sucked[1:35:46] So it's like oh you're just like comedy fans and he just did a video about how bad[1:35:54] Foxworthy's special is and it's like oh[1:35:58] We needed a whole but it's like[1:36:01] But you like comedy like you're a comedy fan and you just know how to pick on the people who are already[1:36:08] Yes, and this is why it's so lame. And this is why when you see the mainstream start picking on our guys[1:36:13] I know that's when it's time to graduate[1:36:16] Because it is lame. I always said this, you know, I had a co-host once named James France[1:36:24] Wow, no one dad silent. You hear that James? Not one fucking person clapped for you when I brought you up[1:36:30] but he would only say something edgy if[1:36:36] 51% of the country was already on board. So like for instance, he was like a flaming liberal. This was before the Great Wars[1:36:44] But he was like a flaming liberal and he would always have like a hard-hitting[1:36:49] risky statement but only risky like[1:36:53] Like he'd be like, oh, yeah, that's right. I sat in I don't care here the fuck but it's like all of a sudden[1:36:58] You take risks, but when it's like when you have 51% of the country backing you, right?[1:37:04] Yes, making fun of Brendan Schaub and Amy Schumer's like making fun of Justin Bieber and Lindsay Lohan[1:37:09] Yes, it's the and everyone's using them[1:37:13] By the way is a way to get out there making fun that they should be spreading[1:37:19] So like here at red bar, I have the urge to make fun of people probably for six seven hours a day[1:37:26] Throughout my whole life[1:37:28] So I have like thousands of guys that I make fun of[1:37:32] Ranging from the gayest tick-tockers all the way up to the biggest network television stars and everyone in between[1:37:40] All the way up to your leader Jesus Christ[1:37:44] so I[1:37:45] Like to spread it spread it out some people[1:37:48] They want to make fun of people just like me and just like you but they think that's a shitty thing to do[1:37:56] That's what they've been told making fun is bad to do. They say that making fun is[1:38:02] Bad to do well, let me[1:38:06] Fix it there was a beat fix that for you[1:38:10] It's not and everybody does it and everybody kind of needs to do it[1:38:14] So what they do is they wait till there's an approved[1:38:18] Person where they know they're not gonna get in trouble because this person has either been really bad or so cringe[1:38:25] You know like Britney Spears where it's kind of[1:38:28] kind of okay[1:38:29] The rest of the country is doing it so I could say my thing. It's not risky. It's not[1:38:37] Creative even and I[1:38:40] It's been so long so many years[1:38:44] Of making fun of the same guy for the exact same thing and everybody does it so how does that even excite you anymore what?[1:38:52] Everybody does something I'm like[1:38:54] Okay, that's pretty lame now[1:38:56] How are you not the same show do not be fooled?[1:39:00] Thinking these Brendan Schaub haters are cool guys like us who really know how to spot a fool[1:39:08] No, no, no[1:39:09] They just saw a lot of people were making fun of this guy goes oh, oh we could make fun of this guy perfect[1:39:15] I've been looking for a way to get out all my hate and anger and make fun of somebody[1:39:19] This is a perfect vessel. I'll spend three to eight months on this[1:39:24] Cuz it's approved[1:39:27] So beige frequency and these comedy fans are gay. They are no no they are not in the same world of[1:39:34] Get them out of here[1:39:36] Shoo shoo shoo and don't that's why I get so mad at a nod pakad when I see him enjoying[1:39:43] Content such as that on the side, but I'm thinking oh so nice. Yeah, just like the sweetest guy. Oh my god[1:39:49] What is this a girl?[1:39:51] so[1:39:53] Anand pakad is like[1:39:55] fucking[1:39:56] Airheadedly listening to this shit[1:39:59] Thinking like oh well red bars not here, and I'll just listen to the next it's not even the next best thing[1:40:06] That's what you're so so so wrong about it's the next[1:40:10] This thing don't you see?[1:40:14] You know I do I have to give you my YouTube subscription[1:40:19] Fucking list so you guys could watch some better stuff[1:40:23] Because I will I'll give that out for free should we do that give out my YouTube?[1:40:28] Everybody just subscribe to what we watch and you'll be good[1:40:31] But you can't be watching beige frequency and then being like I really dude[1:40:35] I love beige stocks, man. You don't what you love is the collective organization of[1:40:42] Everything that beige has taken in about this guy that you hate over the last year. That's the difference[1:40:49] You love this recap that he's doing of everything you already knew because it's kind of nice to see all your gripes[1:40:56] Organized on screen right, but that's all it is it's an organizer[1:41:02] These men are not[1:41:04] Introducing you to anything new here. They're taking they waited. They saw okay. Let's see who's the most hated okay now[1:41:11] I'll organize. I'll take everything that I've heard about them from other people such as[1:41:17] Discoverers like the great Mike red bar like Christopher Columbus. He comes he hurts. He does this he does that[1:41:27] He's sketchy in the eyes of remembering if he was a monster or not and[1:41:35] They take my discoveries they recap them and this edited nice the easy way then you're like oh, I love beige you love me[1:41:45] You love me and these guys are just[1:41:50] Organizing someone says we want an old-school TV guide style[1:41:54] Schedule you should like make a little magazine[1:41:56] That's like a TV[1:41:58] Everyone you subscribe to and watch yes[1:42:00] And you have to watch it at the same time and I aired this live on a giant[1:42:05] TV station cuz there's so many more people that we like don't even know where to start introducing them to you guys[1:42:13] For every fool you see we have like 15 personal fools so many guys[1:42:24] I[1:42:27] Let's see[1:42:38] Let's finally see one of my guys[1:42:41] Chris DeStefano[1:42:43] Other shows are calling him. What are they calling him instead of guys? They're calling him some[1:42:50] He comes out 4149 that's what we'll start right oh look who else was here miss piss[1:42:58] Miss piss in her new pill personality I might have to do an entire special[1:43:06] We should come out with specials[1:43:08] That are like once every quarter and like it's just on one guy and it's like presented[1:43:15] we do it maybe at the stage area drools over there and[1:43:19] Yeah, maybe we film it there like a special show that I[1:43:23] Thank you. Maybe we film our specials over there once every four months[1:43:30] Right our special Christina P[1:43:34] Everything that you need to know about how[1:43:38] Fucking weird she's become you could come back to me now[1:43:41] So yeah, she has become and it's more than just it's another thing[1:43:46] It's almost like the Ari Shafir thing where how are we letting this slide? How has nobody brought up how?[1:43:54] fucking[1:43:57] Purposefully kooky Christina P has become[1:44:01] Okay, I say purposefully[1:44:04] Purposely where I remember on the show once I had this co-host named Mike Bridenstine who married a black[1:44:10] Aphrodite style person[1:44:13] No, Joe full afro he married which is fine, but the full afro it's shocking[1:44:20] So Mike Bridenstine, I was on the show once and I'm like, yeah, he purposely did that he goes[1:44:26] Purposely I go. Yeah, he purposely did that he goes it's[1:44:31] purposefully[1:44:32] Which turns out is also a word Jules. There's two[1:44:36] He thought there was only one and I made me feel so[1:44:41] Small the Todd debtor came out and measured me[1:44:45] But it turns out the height wasn't embarrassing enough. So he took that tape measure and skedaddled[1:44:51] back to his shithole house[1:44:55] But the guys what was I talking about Christina P fucking nuts and it's[1:45:03] it's[1:45:05] More important that we find out what's really going on with P then to just go. Oh, yeah, she's nuts now, ha ha ha[1:45:13] No, this should really make you want to stop what you're doing and invest into this. Okay, we're showing you Chris[1:45:20] 41 49[1:45:22] If you just want to show the one part where you're talking about you can go to four[1:45:25] I don't know. I want to see I really for some reason. I don't know if you guys are with me[1:45:29] I like digging my teeth into this Chris right now, and I kind of want a Chris[1:45:35] fear[1:45:38] Period to happen with him. Do you understand what this means? I don't even need them to mention me anymore[1:45:44] I just need to know that he kind of knows and[1:45:48] I need to know that that fear exists. I thrive off of fear[1:45:52] You see I grow stronger every day from fear other people's fears[1:45:56] and I want to go to bed on[1:46:00] On Wednesday[1:46:02] by Wednesday knowing that Chris is[1:46:05] shiftily[1:46:07] nervously looking around every fuck corner thinking about[1:46:11] It is the jig finally up here. Is this it?[1:46:15] have I gone too far with my backyard bar wall if I'd done too many signature drinks, I[1:46:23] Want that fear I am[1:46:26] really similar to[1:46:28] Fred we want to be an epic feature in his mind. Yes. There you go. Yes[1:46:34] and[1:46:35] But like Vecna or Krueger I do feel this stuff powers me[1:46:43] and I[1:46:45] refuse not to feed off their fears and as soon as I die, I'm figuring out dream invasion[1:46:54] Technology for real I will be the first real Krueger[1:47:00] And[1:47:01] I will haunt[1:47:04] Bro, I mean really I'm dabbling in things that are getting me close to actually making that happen for real[1:47:11] you could ask some people understand some people watching go I knew it and[1:47:15] They're we're really not even kidding around. I got mystical shit everywhere. This is mystic[1:47:21] Couple things over there like[1:47:24] mystic[1:47:25] There's mystic stuff[1:47:27] around the room so[1:47:30] 4149 you're not gonna believe what he's become and again. Yeah Jules. I wanted to[1:47:36] spend some time with Chris I[1:47:39] Don't know why I hate to even ask if that's what people are into they will be yes people are very good good good[1:47:45] Good, okay[1:47:46] 4149[1:47:48] because[1:47:49] Yeah, that's the thing I really we the fear is what we're asking for here with you Chris[1:47:55] We just want your fear. It's very simple. It's nothing for you to concern yourself with it's[1:48:04] We just want to know and the listeners at home too even though this isn't providing you any[1:48:10] Optimizational benefits as it is me[1:48:13] You that's all we're after[1:48:16] Simply just scaring him and that's something people are very ashamed and[1:48:21] Embarrassed to admit that they just want to scare people all day and like put fear in the minds of certain[1:48:28] Certain people they won't say that they'll be like oh, no. I am simply just standing up for this fucking[1:48:35] Stop it[1:48:37] You want to strike a little bit of fear for a gag for a laugh. That's what we're doing and[1:48:44] Yes[1:48:45] It is hit Chris's expense and guess what he could go through one week of fear[1:48:50] I've got this big thing about fear where it's not your right to avoid and dodge fear at all costs[1:48:58] At every turn you know we somehow got it in our heads that you're not allowed to ever be scared[1:49:04] Who was I talking about the other day?[1:49:07] It's like you could be oh yeah. We just gotten like a[1:49:10] Typical I think it was the 4th of July how we were talking about how people complain about fireworks and their dog is[1:49:16] Your dog is allowed to be scared for four hours. He is I am allowed to be scared for a year[1:49:23] You're allowed to be scared for two years or an hour being scared. It's not illegal[1:49:29] Otherwise I'd be suing oh[1:49:32] I had a good one. I'd be soon. Oh, it's so good. It's busy. I'd be soon full moon production[1:49:39] If fear phew if fear were illegal I'd be suing full moon[1:49:45] you know what full moon is there are the creators of such epics as[1:49:50] puppet master[1:49:52] I'm like the guy from puppet master. I keep a straight face. I got a small blade[1:49:58] You know I go like this. I can't even puncture you, but it's fear and yeah, I'd sue them[1:50:04] I'd sue sleepaway camp[1:50:07] Angela[1:50:08] Krueger[1:50:10] Jason[1:50:11] You know you've ruined the whole name Jason. I fucking giggle every time I hear Jason with Jason all right like the guy from the woods[1:50:19] you know um[1:50:21] But we're starting to act like nobody has the right to be you know so scared you do and yeah[1:50:27] It's scary out there ain't it like Ethan Klein pull up that. Oh, this is perfect pull up that clip of Ethan Klein[1:50:34] Don't worry. We'll get back to Chris. Yeah, don't worry[1:50:37] Don't worry the show is in an hour and 16 minutes like Tim Dillon shows you don't have to worry[1:50:42] You don't have to sit there with that panic like you do on every other show[1:50:45] You know where it's 40 minutes in and we really haven't even got to anything on Tim Dillon show you're telling me this wraps up[1:50:50] in 10 minutes[1:50:53] For what I don't even really believe that all these dogs are having all this fear about fireworks because Chula is the most fearful dog[1:51:00] I've ever met and he doesn't even notice when fireworks are happening so explain that yeah[1:51:05] And even if he did more than it again[1:51:09] It was lined up exactly in the right place. Thank you so much again. I[1:51:14] Sorry, you're gonna be fucking scared boo[1:51:18] rare and[1:51:20] his[1:51:23] That is a big problem. I think I think and I'll go as far to say[1:51:28] You've got two very scared parents, and we probably got some scared parents at home think of their kids gonna get[1:51:35] Every time I come around my teacher bang bang come around my school bang bang[1:51:42] You have no right to not fear that[1:51:46] Sorry, where do you get the idea that?[1:51:49] You're not supposed to live in fear[1:51:55] So I think that's a very important point to[1:51:59] Live[1:52:01] Side-by-side with fear[1:52:04] Instead of condemning it at every turn like Ethan J. No not J D[1:52:12] Klein and watch this[1:52:14] nobody is a[1:52:17] Whinier little bitch remember Bill Maher do I have that stuff?[1:52:21] He's a whiny little[1:52:24] So we were making fun of Bill Maher before he even turned into[1:52:28] Daghlaba[1:52:30] Okay, watch Ethan. He's turned into the whiniest[1:52:34] made a ist[1:52:36] Bad ass who spits fire on a mic. That's what he'll heal. Uh what is a Ethan gonna do? Oh?[1:52:43] Spit fire on the mic for me like a badass. That's what he'll at once said about Ethan they go. Oh, yeah[1:52:49] What's your husband gonna do if somebody breaks in and tries to kill you my husband will protect us by spitting fire on the mic?[1:52:56] like bad ass[1:52:58] That's how you see Ethan[1:53:01] decline[1:53:02] Spitting fire she got ratioed. Maybe she means when he coughs from all the hot peppers from the pizza[1:53:09] That's the only time he's spitting anything fire[1:53:12] He has the very worst haircuts in cinema. I mean really disgusting here. I've seen better haircuts unlike[1:53:20] You[1:53:22] Go to the pet story right on the pester you go. What is this one guy? No, that's a hamster. That's a joke[1:53:26] What is this one? That's what your hair is like one of those fucking[1:53:31] Dork looking weird animals chinchilla. Yeah, well not even it doesn't even have a name[1:53:37] Yeah, you don't even have like a name brand[1:53:41] Who is she ugly listen to this though? This is the most pathetic if you ever find yourself acting like this you would not a mana[1:53:51] Oh, yeah, and he's wearing a mask on his show not as a joke[1:53:58] This is a safety precaution he had kovat remember 11 days ago. It's day 11[1:54:07] He's wearing the mask somebody said I like this did he just pull his yarmulke down[1:54:13] Which is this is funny. There's no[1:54:15] a[1:54:16] Yarmulke mask stuff going on which is nice prune[1:54:20] So it does yeah, it looks like a fucking yarmulke covered and what's so disgusting is that he could walk around[1:54:26] With this mask and by the way a mask like that on me would cover me like down to here[1:54:31] This mask his chin sticks out of it. He just gladly parades around like that as if it's totally fine to have a[1:54:40] drawable[1:54:42] Double chin now what's a drawable double chin of course a drawable double chin is where you have such a bad double chin that I?[1:54:49] Could simply without any[1:54:51] skill in art[1:54:54] draw to[1:54:55] use[1:54:57] And it's you get it[1:54:59] So that's how you know when you're too fat if somebody could simply draw you by doing a circle a you and then another you[1:55:07] And it kind of looks just like you then you know you're a morbidly obese pig, okay[1:55:14] So you shouldn't have a drawable double chin which he has and listen to what he says[1:55:21] This is not spit and fire and this shouldn't be anyone's father your kids should be taken from you your wife fined and your[1:55:29] Business is closed if you are a father that acts like this[1:55:37] Um[1:55:41] There was more than a dozen mass shootings in the u.s.. Over 4th of July weekend, that's nothing what we[1:55:48] That's crazy[1:55:51] That's fucking nuts look. I'm not even feeling safe to go to public gatherings anymore. I'll be totally honest. I'm not even[1:55:58] Feeling safe to go[1:56:05] How fucking funny[1:56:07] I[1:56:08] Don't even feel safe to be going to public gatherings anymore. I'll be honest really[1:56:14] So you're dishonest yes, you should maybe lie[1:56:18] On your show why does it always have to be a money lie?[1:56:21] Can't you do a lie about who you are come back to that fat fuck never cut away from him[1:56:26] Look at this guy, so I want you to see this now[1:56:29] And what's good about their show is they barely cut to nobody so we could just watch Ethan in big time[1:56:36] Listen to this whiny old it'll be[1:56:43] He's always coughing and gagging[1:56:46] There was more than a dozen mass shootings in the u.s.. Over this breaks his heart by the way these shootings lovely[1:56:53] That's crazy[1:56:55] That's fucking nuts. I'm not even feeling safe to go to public gatherings anymore. I'll be totally honest[1:57:01] Yeah, what's this I mean?[1:57:04] Realistically I think statistically I don't give a fuck not really that risky, but I understand[1:57:10] I don't give a fuck. Did you go to a pub? Don't give a fuck. I'm too scared. That's what you're saying[1:57:14] You don't give a fuck[1:57:16] Well his intern button well statistically you're probably I don't give a fuck. It's too much[1:57:21] Those statistics are too high for you 12 mass shootings by the way. That's all just black people having a blast[1:57:29] They're not gonna hurt you you live in Bel Air[1:57:32] They're not there I[1:57:34] mean[1:57:36] Realistically, I think statistically I don't give a fuck not really that[1:57:41] I don't give a fuck. Did you go to a public gathering 4th of July?[1:57:45] yo[1:57:49] Someone's gonna come shoot it up. There's a chance[1:57:52] Ooh, baby[1:57:57] That's how a baby talks, I don't care go to a 4th of July gathering you just wanna have fun[1:58:03] I'm gonna shoot up the fuck out[1:58:06] This is what I mean the spoiled[1:58:10] Privileged white and their wild imagination where they're not allowed to have fear in their lives[1:58:18] That makes me sick[1:58:21] What do you think a little fear is gonna do people?[1:58:25] Again, you get it when you walk book never cut away from Ethan you get it when you watch movies[1:58:32] Surely you understand you get it when you watch movies you like that thrill[1:58:37] Invite that thrill into your real life[1:58:41] It's the only way[1:58:43] Happiness does not come from good things you idiots[1:58:46] It comes from the fear of children and that is what me and[1:58:53] What's the shooters name?[1:58:55] By the way, how could I be a bad guy? I have not one shooters name recognized[1:58:59] She rattles off a shooter's name every day like this and I go who who who who?[1:59:05] Sounds like a guy who owns a hardware store's name every time[1:59:10] Who's the shooter's name was? I know that his name was awake the rapper awake. Yeah[1:59:16] but I'm forgetting his actual name at the moment I[1:59:21] Promote awake[1:59:24] And what awake did no, I'm kidding I'm kidding I'm kidding[1:59:28] But at the same time you can't be this kind of a bitch watch this give a fuck[1:59:33] Did you go to a public gathering 4th of July?[1:59:36] yo[1:59:40] So I'm gonna come shoot it up there's a chance fuck that there's not a chance[1:59:44] Safe anymore, but it's so crazy the chance of you getting in and people like this is so hack[1:59:51] But people should use it every time[1:59:53] the chances of dying[1:59:55] Getting in your car are like a thousand times greater than that. You don't care about that at all. You text and drive[2:00:04] Dying from heart disease. Yes[2:00:07] so why[2:00:09] With the slimmest out and that's why I never understand these mass shootings. It's like guys[2:00:13] It's barely any[2:00:16] It's really not that much you're comparing it to yeah. Oh well[2:00:21] first of all, they're lying and[2:00:24] Secondly, who cares?[2:00:26] My dad always said to me. I don't care what so-and-so is do I would always say this, you know[2:00:32] I'd get in trouble showing a girl but Rick is a lot of do that. I don't care what Rick does[2:00:37] I'm not Rick's dad and[2:00:40] What are you gonna say to that it's such a great horribly mean[2:00:46] Unfair way to treat your son. I'll never forget it[2:00:49] But it's true[2:00:51] You know, you're comparing yourself. So what that's not it doesn't make sense. Just written. There's no killings and on the moon either[2:00:59] Who gives a shit? There's killings here[2:01:02] Figure it out. And that's what I say to everyone in their fucking little problems[2:01:07] Figure it out then if it's such a problem[2:01:11] And by figure it out, I mean[2:01:14] Come up with your personal plan. What do you do? What do you do now?[2:01:18] You just sit around and cry about it figure it out. And that's what fathers should be doing and teaching[2:01:26] Not homeless people like me[2:01:28] You need to figure it out for you and your family when trouble arises when fear[2:01:35] Creeps in just go. Okay. How do I defeat the fear because[2:01:39] Spending your days defeating fear. It really is no more annoying than spending your days doing anything[2:01:47] so why not just fight fear for your hobby instead of[2:01:53] Elden ring or instead of having to go to work. What's the difference?[2:01:57] So that might take a long time to really figure out for some of you[2:02:04] But I will not sit around and watch the Klein's you know, he thinks he's father of the year. He thinks oh my god[2:02:12] I'm like the most responsible dad because I have a portfolio where I've invested and I give[2:02:16] $2,000 to everybody in the family and Hanukkah just to show them that I'm now you're wearing those shorts[2:02:23] You look fucking horrible. Look at your legs. Look at your[2:02:27] sandals and[2:02:29] The mask and your homemade haircuts[2:02:32] So I don't want this father always so much better than all of us, right?[2:02:38] This is how he acts when just a tiny bit of fear is introduced to his precious world[2:02:44] it's like[2:02:46] It's like terrorism on our own people. Nobody wants to do shit. Isn't that crazy, dude? We're just doing a juice fucking cleanse with cancer[2:02:55] Would you steal that one from yeah doesn't seem like something you came up with spot[2:03:01] So basically, yeah, we don't do shit, but we could come up with a juice cleanse. Yeah[2:03:05] Where did you hear that Twitter a thousand times in a row a weird bug weird bug on the Moog?[2:03:11] Cut to the wide shot. Maybe people could see it dance across the keys[2:03:15] Nope, they'll never see it[2:03:19] It's crawling under one of the keys[2:03:21] Flick it off. Well, no, I don't flick bugs. That's a wild ride of their life that I'm unwilling to be a part of[2:03:27] Sorry, you're the only person I've ever met who hates bugs and hates being near them. Yeah fuses to kill them[2:03:33] Well, I learned a long time ago that if somebody flicked me and I flew[2:03:38] I'd be livid so I don't know what's going on in there and I can't determine it[2:03:44] I'm not who am I to say what's going on in a bug's life?[2:03:48] So I will not flick them anymore because I don't know what they're doing behind the scenes all of a sudden a thousand of them[2:03:54] come over[2:03:56] So let's listen to the bitch[2:04:00] Yeah, he coughs it's hard to even I don't know what to say about it anymore[2:04:04] Well, you need to know as a host with all this money and donations[2:04:09] That's the other thing too. I don't want to hear my host go. I don't even know what to say. I[2:04:13] Don't even know you need to know I don't want the hosts making a million dollars a month going so I just[2:04:21] Reread three things from Twitter and then the rest of time. I really don't know[2:04:26] That's not enough work to get the 300,000 a month. Sorry[2:04:30] You need to know as one of these hosts or don't come on[2:04:37] You know[2:04:41] If it was this quiet on the show you would think it was a very special red bar where Mike finally cries[2:04:48] This is just an[2:04:50] Hourly occur every 15 minutes. This is how their show sounds you go Mike, but you're not playing anything[2:04:55] But a rumbling of a little air conditioner eight miles into the into the east[2:04:59] No, this is their show alive. It's hard. It's hard to even I even know what to say about it anymore[2:05:07] You know[2:05:11] Really is just so fucked up poked himself in the fucking eye did he do that?[2:05:17] How fucking gay when you're trying to be sincere and you poke yourself in the eye and then don't acknowledge it because you want to[2:05:22] keep the sincere[2:05:24] Vibe up[2:05:25] That is a real fine. I gotta see this. So this is called a fool's flick[2:05:30] It's real accidentally hit yourself in the eye and don't go. I'm so[2:05:34] Guys, hey guys guys turn the music up. So[2:05:38] Thank you. I[2:05:39] Hit myself. I don't know if anyone sigh hit myself in the eye[2:05:43] earlier[2:05:44] It was retarded, but I saw it. I'm aware of it. Thank you and the whole place would erupt[2:05:50] If you try to if you flick yourself in the end try to like pretend that shit never happened you're gay[2:05:59] Sorry, it's one of my rules I don't make them[2:06:03] Let's see that I flick. Okay, Jules, cuz thank you for calling that. I almost miss it. Oh[2:06:09] Look at that. Wait, um, it's hard. It's hard to even I don't know what to say[2:06:12] Well, I guess yeah, maybe don't put your Tourette's hand that close to your face. Okay, unless you sharpen those nails[2:06:20] Scratch them up scratch them up. I want to see that's what we should do when the next time this big pig has his next[2:06:25] Pizza nap, let's shave his fingernails into the sharpest razors[2:06:30] We can and then I'll switch I'll cut up his whole face like Jeffrey dot or not Edward scissor hand[2:06:36] Did Edward scissor and once cut up his own face because it looked like he had some scars[2:06:40] Yes, and did they show that him doing that to himself? Yeah, you'd go[2:06:45] Why get the hand away from the face? It's knives[2:06:49] So Ethan Klein if I was doing this all the time with my hand and by the way[2:06:52] This is just a tell of whenever Ethan's panicked[2:06:55] The and it's like scientifically a talent. Isn't that horrible? He could never be okay[2:07:01] Yeah, so basically like this is him on another show. Yeah. Thanks for asking how so. Yes. I do have Tourette's and[2:07:10] Basically, like whenever I'm really nervous or like holding in a lie or like telling a lie or like don't know what to do[2:07:16] I'll pretty much like tweet, but they're not a show. He's always doing that shit show[2:07:22] Every day time you're twitching. It's like when you're telling a lie[2:07:26] Whoa, so I wouldn't want to raise if I had Tourette's you'd be like Mike. Why is your hand tip here?[2:07:32] I'd be like, it's the forever Pledge of Allegiance[2:07:35] You're beneath it. Don't ask[2:07:38] hand holster to keep hand warm[2:07:41] It's[2:07:43] Got a button release for my hand. See I know about holsters now. Okay, let's see him hit his eye anymore[2:07:51] What's this?[2:07:52] What's this? What's this faggot?[2:07:59] No, no, no boo-boo[2:08:02] He's oh we got to play that clip of a B. Is he talking about me that you don't[2:08:08] Someone messaged it to you. We'll find it. I'm right. Okay, but let's see the rest of Ethan[2:08:13] quine[2:08:15] Ethan quine quine[2:08:18] Really is just so fucked up. It's so fucked up[2:08:24] Look at this. This is a show he does[2:08:29] Let's see[2:08:30] Alec Baldwin and[2:08:33] Fucking Woody Allen. Oh you we got an edit of whatever went down with them. Yeah. Yeah awesome[2:08:37] I said they're too despicable people Woody Allen once hit on a girl. I won't stand it Gila. They should be can't[2:08:43] Why are they even allowed to live and breathe? I know they're so disgusting[2:08:49] Like he was fronting on doja cat on yes[2:08:54] Ethan and Gila, this is their problem[2:08:56] any[2:08:59] Like thing that happens that's like a cancer below thing like, okay[2:09:02] You'll have Harvey Weinstein who obviously like blocks doors and like committed real rape, right and then you'll have a guy like[2:09:10] that guy who[2:09:12] Shoots the movies who like his only crime was that he like screamed at a girl on set once in the 80s[2:09:19] Remember, who's that guy?[2:09:21] He honked the boobs of the transsexual David O Russell David O Russell. So Ethan Klein. This is the worst part about the me to movement[2:09:29] Ethan Klein and Gila Klein will take Harvey Weinstein and David O Russell. They're the same[2:09:34] They both should be killed never able to work[2:09:37] That's kind of a bad example a better[2:09:39] Is on the last episode doja cat had that thing where she yeah the guy from stranger things a snake which is hilarious[2:09:46] And Gila, so you don't know by the way[2:09:50] By the way[2:09:52] You guys know Noah?[2:09:55] from stranger things[2:09:58] That guy should not have 22 mill followers[2:10:01] but that's like the funniest most light-hearted story that nobody could ever find a problem with and he was like[2:10:07] Why aren't you muscling? Oh, yeah, so what happened? Wait, I gotta tell people what happened[2:10:13] You Jewish bitch[2:10:17] Fucking Jew big bitch[2:10:21] Can you call?[2:10:23] Kanye West called Kim Kardashian the n-word the other day[2:10:29] And I always wondered if you're fucking a black chick. Are you allowed to?[2:10:34] Call her the n-word. Not it. No if you're black, I mean[2:10:40] like can you be like[2:10:42] suck that dick nigga to a woman and[2:10:47] If not, then a woman[2:10:50] Should have no problem with the n-word because she can't be one[2:10:56] No black woman should actually have a problem with the n-word if we can't call him that but Kanye called Kim Kardashian the n-word[2:11:03] Which was crazy?[2:11:05] We have in the best divorce ever[2:11:08] he goes nigga we having the best divorce ever and[2:11:13] It's like I always wondered that can you call a black woman the n-word?[2:11:18] But maybe he's in a sexual way not in like a bad way in a way where it's like[2:11:23] Damn, cuz you hear black women all the time go like damn[2:11:29] Just like that and that is an exact replica of someone I've seen on TV, so it's allowed[2:11:36] But is it the reverse like you never see a black eye and by the way black comedies[2:11:42] You could use that for free. That's my gift to you. That's my[2:11:47] Allowance to my people my workers[2:11:51] so[2:11:52] That would be very funny in a black movie to have like a black guy, and he's like[2:11:58] To the woman[2:12:02] It'd be shocking so doja cat and[2:12:06] Noah from Stranger Things the kid with the bull cut do we have footage of him like show people who this guy is ever knows him[2:12:12] Oh, yeah[2:12:14] Everyone I wouldn't know if you told me no I wouldn't I'd be thinking of that mean skeleton kid[2:12:21] But as soon as you say bowl cut people on who you're talking about they all have bowl cuts in way[2:12:26] Even the curly-haired kid is considered bowl cut like they're all freaks creeps[2:12:32] Where do they find these people and by the way don't take it as a compliment?[2:12:36] Stranger Things cast if you've been cast it means they think you look so fucking weird[2:12:41] Like the weirdos of the 80s[2:12:44] Like you went out of your way to cast kids that almost look like fucking deformed mongoloids[2:12:51] Just so that you could bring an 80s vibe because people in the 80s had more freckle[2:12:57] It's weird and it's abusive and exploitative. It would be like if I hired 18 tards to lead my band[2:13:05] Just because it's funnier looking[2:13:07] That's what they're doing so no I don't get on your high horse and think you're popular[2:13:12] People like you just like they like the bearded lady. You're a freak[2:13:17] Doja cat got in a fight with that kid with the bowl cut Noah[2:13:20] Who's just a tiny kid and she's like damn shut the fuck up you snake ass bitch[2:13:26] And no one's sitting at home like[2:13:30] poinks[2:13:31] Another steal that he does so um[2:13:35] But Hila and Ethan went over that Doja cat thing and they were acting as if it was Harvey Weinstein[2:13:41] They were going I just don't understand why she's still even has fans at this point like why are people even listening to her music?[2:13:50] Like she gets confused thinking like you know how they're like you're not allowed to listen to Michael Jackson or R Kelly[2:13:57] Like she thinks you should do that like every time like a rappers like oh this guy got a DUI[2:14:02] Or I mean they're not even that or this guy you know was uh[2:14:07] caught drunk[2:14:09] Out at night. I don't even understand why people are still supporting him[2:14:13] Well, you should understand cuz your husband has done far worse than any of these guys[2:14:19] Alright was there any more Ethan Klein fears done? We should move on to Chris. Yes[2:14:23] Bring me my Chris and Chrissy if you're watching. Oh do I have a lot of problems[2:14:30] With you a ton of problems and[2:14:33] He's one of these guys[2:14:35] Christie Stefano walking around with that belly full of guilt[2:14:39] Knowing that he should be getting made fun of all the time by guys like me[2:14:44] And it doesn't happen that as often as it should and that's where you see the fear and the guilt and the worry[2:14:51] The hell's going on. Why don't everybody it's like the look G easy has always[2:14:57] How the fuck are people letting me get away with it, they're always waiting for that other shoe to drop[2:15:03] Is that what they say Jules?[2:15:05] Shoe to drop right that's the expression mm-hmm the other shoe is gonna drop ooh get away from it. It's a shoe bomb[2:15:12] So oh good to see that disgusting. Hey, let's see Chris 41, right?[2:15:23] There we go let's enjoy[2:15:27] Oh[2:15:29] Deafening screams for Amy Schumer by the way hear that bass frequency your doc did nothing no dance[2:15:36] She's rich. I like how she thinks she got her groove back[2:15:40] No, we just got bored of typing how much we hate you. We did watch like eight episodes of her new show one day[2:15:47] Oh that crazy show. Oh my god like trippin and then we watched like yeah well to make fun of it though[2:15:55] You got to see this show. What is it called Jules?[2:15:57] She is like a sick like life and Beth life and Beth right and she's bath[2:16:03] It's like an ad Bryant joint like ad Bryant directed it. Oh, yes, ad Bryant[2:16:10] You can't you see this a new Hulu original life after Beth[2:16:16] Directed and produced by ad Bryant. Yes the fat girl from SNL. Oh, yes, of course[2:16:22] She's directing what a powerful woman, please[2:16:25] Imagine ad Bryant trying to fucking hold the camera paying attention to the ice cream ice cream Falls the camera Falls[2:16:31] Alright parental advisory. Here we go. You're gonna love it[2:16:35] Thanks to me[2:16:41] And you know, he's got some best friends we're gonna show you guys got four best friends in comedy[2:16:47] You're not gonna believe who the guy is and who the four are[2:16:50] But it's coming up[2:16:55] It's pronounced D dash Stefano D Stefano[2:16:59] He used to be Chris Stefano, but he's been so lousy lately. You see they've downgraded him. Okay[2:17:06] Here he comes[2:17:08] Look at him[2:17:13] Never trust a person who's trying to do posture[2:17:17] Means they're an imposter. Okay, so never trust him ever. Okay?[2:17:27] What it is dude the parenting show I feel like nobody even in here even has kids right[2:17:34] Like eight people[2:17:35] Imagine having kids in running about doing stand-up[2:17:39] That's child abuse to me[2:17:41] If you have a kid you sit there and stare at it until it asks for information[2:17:45] And you better be within 10 decibels of it being right if you're out and about at a bar[2:17:54] While your kid is at home[2:17:56] jacking off[2:17:58] You're wearing the same shirt as him, by the way[2:18:03] Hey drills, can you cut to the break screen really quick?[2:18:13] Keep it on and then you're gonna repeat what you said to me[2:18:20] Okay, you could cut back[2:18:24] So what was that it's just noticing that you're wearing a similar shirt to Chris D Stefano[2:18:33] No, no, no[2:18:37] Please you know that it's[2:18:46] Would you like to do your lipstick so you could say that again[2:18:49] Why don't you do your lipstick and tell me that you're sure it's a completely different[2:18:55] Cut to the break gotta put this back in the drawer[2:19:01] That's all[2:19:04] The secret[2:19:12] So, this is Chris D Stefano and he is going to[2:19:16] Debamo very soon. Should we keep playing from here a little bit? This was in go to 42 45 42 45[2:19:24] Okay, let's see what happens. They're 42 46, you know having watch[2:19:29] My god and this is big, you know, we got it really let's set up for this. Okay, everybody set up get your drinks your water[2:19:37] By the way, you should probably I would say everybody pace yourself along with the show drink the same things[2:19:45] Drink the same things. Do you hear this play the jug?[2:19:51] This is all junk[2:19:58] Who[2:20:07] Pace yourself the same with red bar. Don't drink ahead. Don't drink too much[2:20:12] Follow along with me when I do when you do one the show will[2:20:17] Go perfect. It's like when you match up Pink Floyd with the Wizard of Oz, which we did[2:20:24] And I'll tell you what, I don't like Pink Floyd's the wall[2:20:29] I don't know why I don't like it. I'll tell you this right now. I don't like that style[2:20:35] And I don't like you don't like psychedelia. I[2:20:39] You'd think I would yeah, but I don't like Pink Floyd. I just don't[2:20:46] Know I think that's what it is[2:20:50] If Pink Floyd was never on like in an uber or in a commercial[2:20:57] But[2:20:59] Money[2:21:01] That's all he did I[2:21:04] Don't like Pink Floyd. I don't like the word Floyd to be honest with you. It turns me off every time[2:21:12] Floyd that's too well[2:21:15] How many L's obviously the dark side of the moon and the wall are two different albums who idiot?[2:21:22] From the chat on me what's going on?[2:21:26] It's a double album. You idiot. It's a double album one side of this[2:21:29] No, yeah, well I was talking about the greatest hits album, which has all of them[2:21:35] So let's see same shirt[2:21:39] We're not is this about the shirts now[2:21:42] By the way, what did I do? I opened the show saying this is the shittiest shirt. I have that's true[2:21:46] So there you go didn't even know I mean, this is just it's boiling hot in here[2:21:51] I got barely anything to wear anymore and[2:21:54] I[2:21:55] Refused to wear the same thing twice per season[2:22:01] Seriously so even the undershirt is he different gray you'll notice you'll never see me wearing the same shirt[2:22:07] twice[2:22:09] It's it's not fair to you. It's not fair to the to the audio[2:22:14] Listeners, so let's see what he does here. Okay, watch this shit. I don't have like this is really good[2:22:18] So let's try to like think about a lot of stuff[2:22:21] You know, like I had to go to I had to go to Portland, you know what I mean?[2:22:24] And whatever that city I love this country. I mean, I bleed red white and blue but fucking Portland, you know[2:22:30] I mean those people it's just it's too much like they're very passive-aggressive[2:22:35] You know like very woke and I was just in there, you know[2:22:38] And they're just looking at you judging you and I was in there two weeks ago two weeks ago[2:22:43] I had to go in there[2:22:44] I went to a I went to a coffee shop and you know[2:22:46] I didn't know that you still so when we were watching this I turned to Joel he's[2:22:51] Nervous man. He is nervous and I'm so sick of people not understanding how easy this works[2:22:59] Everything is in the eyes sir. You could trick a police officer in seconds fix your eyes[2:23:07] You know[2:23:09] Everything's in the eyes and we're without even knowing it[2:23:11] We're all judging just by the you don't need to look at or hear anything else. Look at someone's eyes[2:23:18] It will tell you everything you need to know. That's why I won't allow you to see much anymore. It's not your concern. I[2:23:26] Could look at a pair of eyes and know is somebody lying is[2:23:31] Somebody happy is somebody nervous as somebody said I mean it really is as easy as that there might be[2:23:38] At point two percent of people where this won't work on[2:23:43] And so it's shocking to me that I could see people[2:23:47] Watch something like this and think this was anything but a disaster. I mean his eyes tell the whole story[2:23:53] So I'm watching this with jewels and I'm going oh my god[2:23:57] He's like fucking and compared to like Christina P and Amy Schumer. He's getting like no laughs. Well, there's that too, of course[2:24:05] You know the dead giveaway, but the eyes tell all and you can see too when they when the comedian gets no laugh[2:24:12] He goes shitty. So and it's a very subtle shift[2:24:16] That's why I say you got to stare at the eye so a comedian will come out their eyes are fine[2:24:21] They do one joke that doesn't go over all of a sudden[2:24:25] Their eyes are more like this. They're doing the same routine that they've practiced for 20 years[2:24:31] Years so maybe to the untrained ear, so you got to look at the eyes[2:24:36] To the ear it might sound like he's delivering his set fine, but that's only because it's like muscle memory at this point[2:24:44] But if the eyes aren't having fun[2:24:49] And no one is and[2:24:51] That's really all that matters and this guy's got some burnt out pissed off[2:24:57] pissed out[2:24:59] Baby bitch[2:25:01] Fucking scared of the world eyes and you're never gonna deliver a good set of comedy when your eyes look like that[2:25:07] You might as well wear two eye patches. You will do a better job[2:25:11] Then if you show your eyes when they look like this[2:25:14] so we already pick up that he's bombing and[2:25:19] then it finally gets verified and[2:25:22] We welcome you to enjoy this three-hour lead-up to a very simple bomb[2:25:28] And they're just looking at you judging you I needed all day and I was in there two weeks ago two weeks ago[2:25:33] I had to go in there[2:25:34] I went to a I went to a coffee shop and you know[2:25:37] I didn't know that you still had to wear a mask because I was like, oh, you know, it's present-day[2:25:42] America and you know, the barista is just like did they edit out a giant cheer or laugh there?[2:25:49] So this is funny because I didn't know we had to wear a mask and this was kind of a sneak disk[2:25:54] See guys like this try to play both sides because they know that[2:26:00] You know, like probably like 70% of their fans probably think like kovat and masks are gay, right and[2:26:07] then but the others probably don't so they have to be like really sneaky with them and[2:26:12] He just goes so I couldn't believe we were met wearing masks cuz it's it's present-day[2:26:17] Which is like a sneak disk to kovat[2:26:21] But listen for the edit possibly because he says that line[2:26:26] You don't hear a crowd response. So I'm thinking maybe Netflix clean this up a bit and whatever that city[2:26:33] I love this country. I mean I bleed red white and blue but fucking Portland, you know, I mean those people[2:26:39] It's just it's too much like they're very passive-aggressive[2:26:42] You know like very woke and I was just in there, you know[2:26:46] And they're just looking at you judging you and I was in there two weeks ago two weeks ago. I had to go in there[2:26:51] I went to a coffee shop and you know[2:26:54] I didn't know that you still had to wear listen a mask because I was like, oh, you know, it's present-day[2:26:59] America and you know, the barista is just like this[2:27:03] Shounded like a little cut there like they cut out the audience good. Yeah, fuck masks[2:27:08] I don't know just a little conspiratorial thing. Okay. This is the giant bombing jewels. I think so here comes[2:27:15] She's going like this[2:27:16] Watch just keeps doing this. I was like, I don't know what you're doing. Like she's just she's going like that[2:27:21] I was like, I don't know sign language. I'm sorry. I should be better. I'm a white piece of shit[2:27:26] I know I'm sorry. I'm not anti sign and whatever. They're in a big[2:27:30] theater and the reason people started filming their specials in big theaters was because if you have 200 people in[2:27:38] Your room while you're filming your special and only 10% of them laugh. It's pitiful, right? You just[2:27:44] And that's a bomb right? But if you have a theater with[2:27:49] 5,000 people and 10% laugh you're still hearing laughs[2:27:54] But that is very bad. So you always must watch a special with the audience number in mind so you could go[2:28:00] Okay, what percentage of that audience is laughing it only counts if it's 51% or more?[2:28:08] Okay, right now you got about 2% of the audience of 5,000 laughing[2:28:14] That's bad[2:28:15] It continues[2:28:17] I'm gonna do and she just wasn't talking and she just kept going like this[2:28:21] I was like, what are you trying to tell me lady?[2:28:23] Just use your words. And then she was like you need to put on a mask. I was like, oh, okay[2:28:30] She just said that so I was like, okay, and I'm just like, you know politely she's so the eyes will temporarily[2:28:36] Re-manage[2:28:39] Themselves when they get a little laugh see the comedian kind of goes he's like a he rides that wave, right?[2:28:45] So the comedian if he doesn't get a laugh, oh, is he hurt and scared?[2:28:49] But when he gets a little lab, he smiles but then if that left goes way back to being scared[2:28:53] And that's what you're seeing the roller coaster ride[2:28:56] These guys go on must be wild and it gets worse he putting on a mask and I was like, I'm sorry[2:29:04] You know, like I'm from New York and you know, we don't we don't have the masks there anymore[2:29:09] And she was like well here in Portland. We still take kovat very seriously. I[2:29:14] Was like you seem like a fun person you really do[2:29:17] He just seemed like a real ball of laughs and then so, you know, I proceed to order my drink[2:29:22] I was like, um, can I have a small iced coffee black? You know, he says drink the way he says[2:29:29] What's his thing that he says Jules?[2:29:32] Signature drink. Yes. He's just a drink Jules[2:29:37] My signature drink now before we go into this look at his face[2:29:41] Didn't somebody else do a coffee black bit?[2:29:45] Yes, that's the other thing about comedy. All of these bits are interchangeable. Here's the thing[2:29:51] His bits could be done by any one of the other hundred comedians Tom Segura any of them so interchangeable shit[2:29:59] You don't even know who does these bits they're just fucking[2:30:04] Grandpa jokes at this point like a fun person you really do here[2:30:08] It just seemed like a real ball of laughs and then so, you know, I proceed to order my drink[2:30:13] I was like, um, can I have a small iced coffee black? She was like, excuse me[2:30:17] I was like, can you not hear me through the mask?[2:30:19] I was like could I have this never happened by the way iced coffee black and she was like[2:30:25] Do you mean a small iced coffee with no cream? I[2:30:30] Was like is it that the same as a small iced coffee black?[2:30:35] She's like after what the african-american community's been through these last two years. I think you do a better job ordering your coffees. I[2:30:43] Was like I'd rather be beheaded by Isis then[2:30:47] This is all lies[2:30:49] And they're not even that funny of lies[2:30:51] If you're not funny at all, like if you're gonna come up with some stupid-ass fake story, but a barista[2:30:57] Why don't you say something? Oh, that's not funny enough for you. Well, then she was like, well the african-american she didn't[2:31:05] And it's a story that I would tell on light openings and read small talk[2:31:11] This is a throwaway story. I would tell on a Tuesday[2:31:15] to non paying members[2:31:17] You[2:31:19] Don't save this up for a Netflix appearance. This is what you wrote[2:31:24] So your lie isn't even funny, but it gets worse, right?[2:31:28] But I think so, I don't know I can't remember so but it's got to watch we just say no no[2:31:34] No, trust me this gets back cuz I remember we go in pause when everybody is like grown it remember. It's like really bad[2:31:42] They leave him hanging[2:31:44] We have another code right? No, this is the only one yikes. This better get bad. That's two years[2:31:50] I think you do a better job ordering your coffees. I[2:31:54] was like I'd rather be beheaded by Isis then[2:31:58] Have to talk to you for one second. So I ripped that mask off look I walked right out of that coffee shop[2:32:04] I walked two blocks down. I went to another coffee shop[2:32:07] I walked right in there and I said can I have a small iced coffee with no cream because[2:32:11] I am such a little pussy[2:32:14] But you know, I don't know it's what it is people are just[2:32:18] You know, everyone's going a little nuts. Everyone's just a little off. You know what I'm saying?[2:32:22] They're just a little little off lately. Like I had to put my dog down. Listen, you'd live the good life 18 years 18 years[2:32:29] My dog little Larry Larry was his name. I mean that was pretty bad. I feel like that was the bad part[2:32:36] Were we really high?[2:32:39] Something and we went over this in our heads 800 more. I was building this up to be whoo[2:32:45] Well, Chris you win this one. That's bad enough to show everybody how much you suck[2:32:51] I wish I wish in in my world in my perfect world that is but[2:32:58] We're gonna end the show we have to and we'll take a break and then we'll come back with the ending[2:33:04] Right away. No, I'm just kidding. We've got a brand new song, but I am gonna take a break. We've got a brand new song[2:33:10] And I love these. I'm so glad that people were they felt that vibe you could cut to me[2:33:17] I'm so glad that people remembered the and this is why I really want to play this whether the song is good or bad[2:33:24] How great is it when listeners Schmitt song?[2:33:29] About our biggest fool. They don't even really have to be that good[2:33:34] So I really encourage and plus there's something so fun about a[2:33:39] Musical offering that is I mean when I get an email and then I start realizing. Oh, this isn't your typical email[2:33:47] This is a song. Oh[2:33:50] It's like getting presents and I hope it feels the same way too when we take this break. We're gonna play a song. It's by[2:33:57] Who's it by Jules? I can't remember these screen names. It's screen name hell. That's why[2:34:03] Lee one of my ex-boyfriends from high school Jake Lee[2:34:07] We're gonna take a break you're gonna cut to break and then we're gonna play dead end by Jake Lee[2:34:13] Good, but it's better than I really enjoyed it. It's when I heard it. Listen, it's better than a simply safe commercial[2:34:21] Okay, here it is dead end by Jake Lee. We'll be right back[2:34:26] Jake sorry, you gotta continue sir. We'll see you in a sec[2:34:44] This is a dead-end job[2:34:46] Aaron Berg just quit dead-end job Gavin quick cuz it's a dead-end job Mike red bar quick cuz it's a dead-end job[2:34:53] Kevin Brennan quick cuz it's dead-end job. Sorry, Kumiya you're dead-end[2:35:00] Compound media's a dead-end job unless you like Robin fans you do best to blow off this type of career[2:35:07] Don't you think it's kind of queer that your boss has been caught having sex with we taught?[2:35:13] scrolling tick tock jerking off to preteens and tube tops and you ain't even trying to stop cuz taking[2:35:21] Steroids reignite it's lost. Can anyone be fussed to tell me why ain't cuffed?[2:35:27] compound media's a dead-end job[2:35:30] It's a dead-end job cuz it's a dead-end job[2:35:34] compound media's a dead-end job[2:35:37] It's a dead-end job. Thanks cuz it's a dead-end job[2:35:40] Okay, now all your friends and co-workers going away leaving you cuz you only afford to pay them like a pesos a day plus[2:35:47] You're lame as fuck[2:35:48] Starting to fade away from age wasting the money for my we got trying to keep the days of day[2:35:54] You claim all your problems can be laid on the blacks always spouting statistics and facts smiling so hard your veneers start to crack[2:36:00] We had a little great comment in the back pull it George Floyd with the need to try to remember screaming[2:36:05] I can't breathe. I just need a brat[2:36:07] It's time for red bar in the scars club to make a statement bad news for you my dude[2:36:12] I think you're gonna hate it enough is enough for screaming the n-word you're racist[2:36:15] Just cuz I dude at a club called you a few names. You can't take it. How old are you dawg?[2:36:20] I know you go and pay trolls babies and infants, but facing your ancient so change it. It's time to grow up dog[2:36:26] Maybe it's time to cut those old wrinkled nuts off. It isn't like you're getting anybody you touch off soon[2:36:31] You'll be in a cell taking come like a mouthwash[2:36:35] Compound media's a dead-end job cuz it's a dead-end job cuz it's a dead-end job[2:36:41] Compound media's a dead-end job cuz it's a dead-end job cuz it's a dead-end job[2:36:48] All right, you me. Yeah, we're sick of your shit now[2:36:51] It's time for you to quit sucking underage tits now rip bars been losing yet[2:36:56] He's been throwing a fit never seen him so metal pop your ass like is it well the wife sits on the sidelines?[2:37:03] Giggling and shit keeps going. It's maybe point her finger taking some pics[2:37:08] Red bar is counterculture and outlaws your whole network is suspect chasing clout and we doubt y'all[2:37:15] Could even say a single true word in your life red bars bring in the strife cutting bullshit like a knife[2:37:21] Pointing out all of the evil things you do in the night[2:37:25] Slithering around town like a snake trying to cite a teen walking home all tender and tight so you can strike and write[2:37:33] We know you like to fight, and that's why you see you ain't human to me[2:37:38] Throw your ass up in the sea in a bag and leave the scene[2:37:44] Sorry Kumi uh your dead end[2:37:55] We'll be right back[2:38:03] Oh[2:38:12] It's shit like this I kick to these rich white kids who just might see how fucked up this sick life is oops[2:38:17] I did it again didn't I my shit's harder to figure out when Britney's tits[2:38:21] Eyes is I probably pissed you off again didn't I bitch?[2:38:25] Christina gaga never kiss my grit. You know how many shits I give I wish I did[2:38:29] I could quit giving he's twisted little kids ideas[2:38:36] They can get his ass[2:38:39] Bitch, I'm rich. I can't understand this[2:38:42] Together on the internet closes[2:38:44] I'm never gonna get to hitting it from the back of shit when it comes to that I hit harder from the back[2:38:49] Everlast when he's plugging me throwing his fucking ass. Just give me one more chance written. He hit me one more time[2:38:53] Let me know what's on your mind wouldn't he?[2:38:55] Give me one more line to snitch. You fuckers know what time it is. Fuck your jewelry. My record's almost diamond[2:39:20] Doesn't like and sing well I do so fuck him and the backstreet boys[2:39:25] Whatever happened to the cast of different strokes. Gary's broke. Toss. No coke and ain't overdose[2:39:30] I got two boys with me. Michael Jackson sent two helicopters to hit me[2:39:34] I'm up early with my hair curly[2:39:36] Me and mr. Furly fucking the running sherley[2:39:39] A lot of rappers are living in la-la land[2:39:41] That's why I let my dogs out on the baha man[2:39:43] As bad as the life I had[2:39:45] I'm not mad and I don't need to be a jackass to beat up my dad[2:39:48] My whole family's country[2:39:50] My grandmother's old-fashioned and she keeps asking me why I rap with a hunky[2:39:54] But granny I'm a flunky I could be a junkie[2:39:56] I could be hanging with the hoochies out at the club scene[2:39:59] With independent women in the house[2:40:01] Show your tits and shut your motherfucking mouth[2:40:04] Bob O'Dowd, Bobby Brownie, Whitney Houston[2:40:07] The shit she's using[2:40:09] Jesse Jackson, Reverend Scandal[2:40:11] Got you as Michael's, Tevin Campbell[2:40:13] Pee-wee Herman's[2:40:15] Push-up places, public restrooms[2:40:17] Beat those cases[2:40:19] Coming back[2:40:23] Let it flow, let the good times roll[2:40:25] Tell em' great[2:40:27] What's going on in the world today?[2:40:29] People fighting for you[2:40:31] It's okay, let it go[2:40:33] Let it flow, let the good times roll[2:40:35] Tell em' great[2:40:37] Your mom and dad probably mad at us[2:40:39] We didn't hurt their kids and their little bodies[2:40:41] Almost anything on YouTube that is popular[2:40:43] Is goody two shoes and gay[2:40:45] And gay[2:40:47] And gay[2:40:49] What's going on?[2:40:51] All the comedy that you're seeing today[2:40:53] Bring it back[2:40:55] Hi everybody[2:40:57] Hey[2:40:59] We're back everybody, hi[2:41:01] Let's get him off this train here[2:41:03] I was so busy[2:41:05] Trying to keep people out of me[2:41:07] I never thought I'd have to talk someone into me[2:41:09] Welcome back to Red Bar[2:41:11] The show that does go anywhere[2:41:13] And does nearly[2:41:15] anything, so nice to see you[2:41:17] Make sure you're a Scars Club member[2:41:19] JuliaRedBarRadio.net slash[2:41:21] Scars are only plug[2:41:23] Oh actually no that's not true[2:41:25] I wanted to plug two other people here today[2:41:27] Two other men[2:41:29] We've got the wonderful[2:41:31] Sven Stuffels[2:41:33] Big Sven surprise[2:41:35] Possibly coming very soon[2:41:37] But my oldest friend in the industry[2:41:39] Sven Stuffels[2:41:41] Got a glorious show called[2:41:43] Sven Streams[2:41:45] It was on actually a few hours before Red Bar[2:41:47] On this beautiful Sunday[2:41:49] You could get caught up at[2:41:51] SvenStuffels.com[2:41:53] Or maybe SvenStreams.com[2:41:55] Great show[2:41:57] And then the other man I wanted to promote[2:41:59] Is, you might know him[2:42:01] SalvoPancakes[2:42:03] Please[2:42:05] Start watching his shorts[2:42:07] He's got some of the best[2:42:09] H3 shorts[2:42:11] On YouTube, he's the only one doing shorts right[2:42:13] You see shorts from[2:42:15] The fighter and the kid and they just take[2:42:17] A clip from their show and they put a bunch of words[2:42:19] His shorts[2:42:21] Are what shorts should be[2:42:23] They'll give you all the Ethan Klein[2:42:25] News that you need and Keemstar[2:42:27] Now he's on to Keemstar too making fun of[2:42:29] Keemstar and his new girl Brantley[2:42:31] And[2:42:33] I love these videos, I wake up[2:42:35] In the morning and Salvo[2:42:37] Always has a new video out[2:42:39] About[2:42:41] Either Ethan or Keemstar[2:42:43] 52 seconds tops[2:42:45] And you put them on and it's[2:42:47] Boom boom boom and a nice punch[2:42:49] And it really, it's a great way[2:42:51] To get your day started if you like making fun of[2:42:53] Keemstar or Ethan Klein[2:42:55] The Klein's[2:42:57] So those are the two guys that I'll plug today[2:42:59] And[2:43:01] Then the Scars Club and that's it[2:43:03] For the plugs[2:43:05] Can you believe it, one of the shows[2:43:07] Doing such little plugs[2:43:09] I wanted to show you[2:43:11] Oh no I wanted to say[2:43:13] My heart goes out to[2:43:14] It's not an ad[2:43:15] What isn't an ad?[2:43:16] It's a plug[2:43:17] What's not an ad?[2:43:19] Some guy was like ad ad[2:43:21] Oh yeah they're paying me such money[2:43:27] Have you seen these guys?[2:43:29] Have you seen their backdrops? They ain't got no fucking cash[2:43:33] So um[2:43:35] I wanted my heart goes out to[2:43:37] Scott Kahn[2:43:39] This should have been in light news[2:43:41] Of course James Kahn[2:43:43] Died[2:43:45] And this has got me where James Kahn died[2:43:47] And then[2:43:49] Right after that that walnuts[2:43:51] Guy from the Sopranos with the gray hair[2:43:53] He died[2:43:55] So that means Anthony[2:43:57] Kumi is only like three[2:43:59] Fucking guys away from being boss[2:44:01] Which is very[2:44:03] Fucking bad, you know I said this[2:44:05] As a joke in the bring back group but then I thought about it[2:44:07] I almost wanted to comment again[2:44:09] This is actually very close to the reality[2:44:11] We live in today[2:44:13] Like Kumi really is[2:44:15] Three guys away from[2:44:17] Probably killing me[2:44:19] Walnuts might have been the only thing keeping me alive[2:44:21] Let's be fucking honest[2:44:23] James Kahn dies, Walnuts dies[2:44:25] And then I think about Scott Kahn[2:44:27] Pull up a picture of Scott Kahn[2:44:29] Now Scott Kahn[2:44:31] You've all seen him[2:44:33] He's been in all of our movies[2:44:35] He's like five foot four[2:44:37] He's the biggest[2:44:39] A-hole-io[2:44:41] You'll ever see[2:44:43] And he played himself[2:44:45] On the show Entourage[2:44:47] Remember when Scott[2:44:49] Was one of the agents at ease[2:44:51] Little[2:44:53] Company that he started working at[2:44:55] And boy that Scott was bad[2:44:57] And[2:44:59] If you're going to, here's my rule[2:45:01] If you're going to be in a show[2:45:03] And use your real name[2:45:05] Your real first name[2:45:07] You know they might have changed[2:45:09] Instead of Scott Kahn it was[2:45:11] Scotty Lavin[2:45:13] Remember that? A Jew[2:45:15] I don't care about that[2:45:17] If you're in the show, your name's Scott[2:45:19] And they've got real cameos from like[2:45:21] Mark Wahlberg in there[2:45:23] So Mark Wahlberg's himself[2:45:25] They got real cameos from Larry David, Larry David's himself[2:45:27] I have to assume that when[2:45:29] Scott Kahn is in a show under the name Scott[2:45:31] It's also himself[2:45:33] And I am against[2:45:35] This thing where actors think they should[2:45:37] Play a cameo of them in a funny show[2:45:39] But then be a huge dick[2:45:41] Because guess what[2:45:43] That's how I'm going to look at you[2:45:45] In real life forever[2:45:47] All I need to know about Scott Kahn[2:45:49] Is what I've seen in Entourage[2:45:51] And I'm judging him[2:45:53] By the character he's playing[2:45:55] No, look at any picture of Scott Kahn[2:45:57] And you will see the biggest piece of shit[2:45:59] You know, I wanted to start bullying him[2:46:01] And harassing him online[2:46:03] Turns out you can't[2:46:05] Scott Kahn has elected not to join[2:46:07] Social media[2:46:09] He's one of those guys[2:46:11] And this is him[2:46:13] You've all seen this fucking asshole[2:46:15] Scott Kahn[2:46:17] Oh yeah, we're going to pull aside here[2:46:19] Look at that guy[2:46:21] And this is how he walks around[2:46:23] This is his walking round face[2:46:25] And he's 5'4[2:46:27] He really is[2:46:29] He's short and muscular[2:46:31] If you're short just stay skinny[2:46:33] People will treat you actually nicer[2:46:35] You know these short guys[2:46:37] Want to pump iron[2:46:39] To grow wider because they can't grow taller[2:46:41] Thinking that's going to stop them[2:46:43] That makes people hate you more[2:46:45] I promise[2:46:47] If you're a skinny short guy[2:46:49] People are nice to you[2:46:51] But if you're like this[2:46:53] Please man[2:46:55] We fucking hate you[2:46:57] And I hate Scott Kahn so much[2:46:59] That I'm willing to say this[2:47:01] To Scott Kahn today[2:47:03] Look at him, he's so cool[2:47:05] This is my message to Scott Kahn[2:47:07] And you can put this all over the internet[2:47:09] Because he can't even access it[2:47:11] He's too cool[2:47:13] Scott Kahn[2:47:15] I am happy[2:47:17] That your dad's dead[2:47:21] Because you know what?[2:47:23] No I'm not happy, I'm actually fucking furious[2:47:25] Because that means now you[2:47:27] Are king[2:47:29] Oh yeah, I've seen this story[2:47:31] Play out a thousand times in the medieval[2:47:33] Now you're king[2:47:35] Oh look at these assholes[2:47:37] Look at this, it's like when Gavin[2:47:39] Uh, gets his arm around him[2:47:41] From like the owner of Blaze TV[2:47:43] Or something like that[2:47:45] Who is that guy? What network with Gavin?[2:47:47] This is like, yeah, oh my god[2:47:49] Oh yeah[2:47:51] I'm gonna shed a tear for that fucking phenomena[2:47:53] I mean, he's as bad as the guys he's[2:47:55] Playing in those movies[2:47:57] Or he's become, I mean, I don't know[2:47:59] Life imitates art or he imitates fucking[2:48:01] Criminals, but[2:48:03] These two[2:48:05] I can't wait till Scott Kahn dies[2:48:07] So, fuck you[2:48:09] Scott, and I spit on your[2:48:11] Dad's fucking tomb[2:48:13] And believe me, you better hope I don't find[2:48:15] You better hope your dad's grave isn't doxxed[2:48:17] That's all I'll say, because he'll fucking[2:48:19] Be there, alright[2:48:21] Uh, let's see, what else do we have[2:48:23] Chrissy Marr, and you can cut to me[2:48:25] This is a disaster, folks[2:48:27] We're switching topics[2:48:29] And I need your help[2:48:31] I rarely call on you[2:48:33] For help, but I am putting up this signal[2:48:35] Okay[2:48:37] Because I need your help, this has gone on long enough[2:48:39] And it involves[2:48:41] The worst fucking girl[2:48:43] That we've ever met[2:48:45] The only girl that I'm really not afraid[2:48:47] To just go after in full force[2:48:49] Because to me, this isn't even a girl[2:48:51] And this person that I'm talking about[2:48:53] Is Chrissy Marr[2:48:55] From[2:48:57] Compound Media[2:48:59] And[2:49:01] Many of you know that[2:49:03] One of our big things with Chrissy Marr[2:49:05] Maybe pull up a picture of her, I always like to have a picture[2:49:07] Just in case some guys are new[2:49:09] She's terrible, I mean, terrible in every which way[2:49:11] She was a[2:49:13] Shitty[2:49:15] Left tier comedian[2:49:17] That got scooped up by Compound Media[2:49:19] Like four or five years back[2:49:21] She was just a regular nobody[2:49:23] And then she figured out the grift[2:49:25] Of the alt-right[2:49:27] Meanie person[2:49:29] Online that everybody does when they're failed[2:49:31] So what happens is[2:49:33] Like most of the people[2:49:35] Who have switched their comedy[2:49:37] Stuff over to this political stuff[2:49:39] And a lot of it is happening on the right[2:49:41] And it's super[2:49:43] Super embarrassing[2:49:45] You know, and I always talk about the right because[2:49:47] Comedians didn't turn into leftists[2:49:49] For the most, well, some of them did[2:49:51] But not the comedians we were ever involved with[2:49:53] You know, so I rag on these people[2:49:55] Because I'm involved with them[2:49:57] You know, I worked for Compound Media[2:49:59] Believe it or not[2:50:01] Before they realized that[2:50:03] When you lose in comedy[2:50:05] What you should do is just pander to all those[2:50:07] Fucking idiots[2:50:09] Who just want to hear you repeat[2:50:11] Fucking talking points from your team[2:50:13] All day[2:50:15] And then collect donations of you[2:50:17] Again, it's another organizer[2:50:19] It's the beige frequency syndrome[2:50:21] It's, okay, I'm Chrissy Meyer[2:50:23] Instead of having any of my own thoughts[2:50:25] I'm just gonna collect all the talking points[2:50:27] That people already like[2:50:29] And then just like rehash them[2:50:31] Reorganize them[2:50:33] And then just collect money for doing[2:50:35] That's such a bullshit job[2:50:37] In any form[2:50:39] And isn't it so much more pathetic[2:50:41] For a girl to be doing it for some reason?[2:50:43] Why is that? To me it's pathetic[2:50:45] Because I know these aren't her[2:50:47] Own thoughts, you know, these are the thoughts[2:50:49] And I see a lot of people turning to the right[2:50:51] Because they've been pushed aside[2:50:53] By society[2:50:55] They have been looked at[2:50:57] As less than[2:50:59] They have been, it's like black people joining gangs[2:51:01] I mean, it's the same nonsense[2:51:03] It's, you've been pushed aside by society[2:51:05] You feel you can't compete[2:51:07] And you're just gonna join[2:51:11] The mean side[2:51:13] Fight back[2:51:15] And, you know[2:51:17] Would Chrissy Meyer be able to just have[2:51:19] A comedy career[2:51:21] If it didn't have anything to do with politics[2:51:23] If she didn't start pandering[2:51:25] To the craziest guys[2:51:27] Would there be any career for her[2:51:29] And people realize right away[2:51:31] This is a[2:51:33] A lucrative[2:51:35] Industry, you don't have to be good[2:51:37] We all see it[2:51:39] You don't have to be good[2:51:41] You just have to fucking sit there[2:51:43] And repeat the things that they say[2:51:45] Over and over again, by the way, for five years[2:51:47] And they're gonna give you money[2:51:49] So, Chrissy Meyer wasn't making a dime[2:51:51] With her own[2:51:53] Thoughts, her own[2:51:55] Material[2:51:57] She started making dimes when she started going[2:51:59] You know what I hate?[2:52:01] Liberal tears[2:52:03] Woo, I know that[2:52:05] Easy, here's money[2:52:07] Because everybody at home also wants somebody[2:52:09] To tell them what they think[2:52:11] So that they don't feel[2:52:13] Like they've made the wrong choice[2:52:15] So when you're fighting, and here's the big problem[2:52:17] With fighting with 50% of the country[2:52:19] You should never do it, it's a fool's move[2:52:21] Even if you're right[2:52:23] It's a fool's move on both sides[2:52:25] To fight with 50% of people[2:52:27] That's too many people[2:52:29] You're not going to win[2:52:31] All you could do is join sides[2:52:35] And find protection in your side[2:52:37] It's lame, it's pathetic[2:52:39] It's weak[2:52:41] And that's what Chrissy Meyer's done[2:52:43] That's what Crowder has done, that's what Tim Pool's done[2:52:45] Joe Rogan[2:52:47] Leaned into that very heavily[2:52:49] Even Andrew Schultz is doing that, we'll show you later today[2:52:51] They all do it because it's a quick dollar[2:52:53] And it's a quick way to get people[2:52:55] On your side[2:52:57] No matter what, and they will fight for you[2:52:59] Because they need a team member too[2:53:01] You know, and I'll never forget[2:53:03] What Gavin said to me[2:53:05] And this was early on, this was before[2:53:07] All of this really went haywire[2:53:09] This was before the Proud Boys[2:53:11] When Gavin, you know I had my show on Compound Media[2:53:13] And I was making fun of some conservative guy[2:53:15] Who was like a free speecher[2:53:17] And made fun of the left[2:53:19] And I made fun of him and Gavin[2:53:21] Was blown away by this, he goes[2:53:23] So like, I get what you're saying[2:53:25] But[2:53:27] He thought our side[2:53:29] And I said excuse me[2:53:31] Our side?[2:53:33] What side would that be?[2:53:35] And he even felt[2:53:37] Kind of stupid, I said this to him[2:53:39] I said no no no, there's no side[2:53:41] And he even felt kind of stupid about that[2:53:43] But that's what people are doing[2:53:45] And we all see it, it's clear as day[2:53:47] I'm not saying anything new[2:53:49] But we do need to see it[2:53:51] I mean Lewis even just said that[2:53:53] There's no teams, there's no sides[2:53:55] So running over to one side, all it means is[2:53:57] You feel scared[2:53:59] You feel out in the open[2:54:01] And you feel scared[2:54:03] And you need this whole team to protect you[2:54:05] If there was 50% of the country[2:54:07] Started agreeing with my talking points[2:54:09] I would get new ones[2:54:11] You know what I mean?[2:54:13] I don't want[2:54:15] If 50% of the country agrees with you[2:54:17] You're doing something completely wrong[2:54:19] That's too many people[2:54:21] So Chrissy Marr is the new panderer[2:54:23] To the right[2:54:25] Which is a shameful thing to be[2:54:27] I mean Revenge of the Sister[2:54:29] All these shows, really, the only reason they exist[2:54:31] Is because they tell these people[2:54:33] Who are so desperately worried[2:54:35] That maybe they're making a mistake[2:54:37] They're reassuring them[2:54:39] And that's all this is[2:54:41] Is a gay reassurance hug[2:54:43] That you watch[2:54:45] Because you know the guys who host these shows stink[2:54:47] And you know they're not saying anything new[2:54:49] And it would be one thing if Gavin[2:54:51] Khumi and Mersh and all the rest of them[2:54:53] Or Alex Jones even[2:54:55] Said something fucking new[2:54:57] But can't you see it's a[2:54:59] fucking hoax when[2:55:01] All they do is repeat[2:55:03] The stuff that they know[2:55:05] You get a rise day in and day out[2:55:07] And aren't you gonna get sick of it?[2:55:09] Aren't you already? And I know you're[2:55:11] sick of it. Mersh and Royce[2:55:13] from Revenge of the Sister were on Alex Jones[2:55:15] And they posted it on their IG[2:55:17] There was like 15 comments[2:55:19] None of which were too exciting[2:55:21] I mean they definitely didn't have any sort of excite[2:55:23] Like if I was on Alex Jones[2:55:25] Boom![2:55:27] So these guys are on Alex Jones and they're not saying anything exciting[2:55:29] Alex ain't saying anything exciting[2:55:31] They're fucking repeating[2:55:33] Over and over again the same bull[2:55:35] And the fans know it[2:55:37] But they can't say anything[2:55:39] Bad about it because then[2:55:41] Maybe they're a liberal[2:55:43] Or they're not on the side anymore[2:55:45] They're not on the team anymore[2:55:47] They don't want to say how lousy it is[2:55:49] Because then[2:55:51] The host would use that against them[2:55:53] They would go, oh yeah, well probably[2:55:55] Because you don't agree with his ideas[2:55:57] You're a lib! And they just get[2:55:59] More and more like guaranteed[2:56:01] Josh Denny is an anti-abortion activist[2:56:03] Josh Denny is another perfect example[2:56:05] He's had two abortions[2:56:07] Within the last seven years by the way[2:56:09] He needed something more[2:56:11] Like he didn't bring up abortion before[2:56:13] But then when he ran out of the other repetitions[2:56:15] Suddenly he's like, I need a bigger one[2:56:17] Because they see the pop[2:56:19] That they get[2:56:21] From these psychos[2:56:23] That like this stuff[2:56:25] And these people will not be around[2:56:27] For you and they know this[2:56:29] So you put yourself in your own pathetic prison[2:56:31] Where if you don't[2:56:33] Pander to them and give them what they want[2:56:35] They'll fucking turn on you[2:56:37] And eat you alive in a second[2:56:39] They're only here to hear[2:56:41] You reassure them about the topics[2:56:43] They already agree on[2:56:45] And that's that[2:56:47] And it's to me[2:56:49] The gayest fucking thing you could do[2:56:51] And Chrissy Marr is one of the leaders of that[2:56:53] And that's where she's finding success[2:56:55] And[2:56:57] I open this segment by saying[2:56:59] I need your help[2:57:01] Something must be done[2:57:03] Because Chrissy Marr[2:57:05] Is going around[2:57:07] Telling people that I have made up[2:57:09] A story[2:57:11] We all remember[2:57:13] The infamous[2:57:15] Chrissy Steel's Christmas present[2:57:17] Story[2:57:19] Now this is where I need your help[2:57:21] Because I cannot play this video one more time[2:57:23] I have covered this video 17 times[2:57:25] On the show[2:57:27] And she's still getting away with telling people[2:57:29] That this never happened[2:57:31] It has turned[2:57:33] It is just like Josh Denny[2:57:35] And I call upon you to not let this happen[2:57:37] Everything we have said[2:57:39] About these guys on this show[2:57:41] Is 100% true[2:57:43] Or 100% a prediction that I am making[2:57:45] None of it is made up[2:57:47] I want everyone to know that[2:57:49] When we cover Josh Denny[2:57:51] We're not making anything up[2:57:53] Mostly we're covering what[2:57:55] He is saying and going[2:57:57] Wow[2:57:59] And what will happen[2:58:01] Is Josh Denny, Chrissy Marr, Anthony Cumiya[2:58:03] They will do something horrendous[2:58:05] I will show that to the world[2:58:07] And then people will talk about that[2:58:09] And then years later someone will go to Cumiya[2:58:11] Hey Cumiya, what was[2:58:13] I heard something about 13 year old girls[2:58:15] On Redbird[2:58:17] Oh that guy, yeah[2:58:19] And they'll tell them[2:58:21] In more or less words[2:58:23] That I'm lying[2:58:25] Josh Denny does it all the time[2:58:27] He tells people straight up[2:58:29] That I am lying[2:58:31] And the latest person to do this is Chrissy Marr[2:58:33] And I've got a clip here[2:58:35] That I'm not lying[2:58:37] Cause I didn't[2:58:39] Come up with this story[2:58:41] She did[2:58:43] She came on and we're gonna[2:58:45] Go over this in a second[2:58:47] She came on compound media[2:58:49] Before she knew she was gonna be covered[2:58:51] Every time on Redbird when she said something[2:58:53] Horrendous like this and she told a story about[2:58:55] How they were at a Christmas party[2:58:57] For compound media[2:58:59] And they went out to a fancy[2:59:01] Italian restaurant for a Christmas party[2:59:03] And there was open to the public[2:59:05] And there was a table next to them[2:59:07] Of another 10 people with their family[2:59:09] And it was a fancy restaurant[2:59:11] And while the family was[2:59:13] You know saying goodbye to each other[2:59:15] At the end of the night while everyone was saying goodbye to each other[2:59:17] Chrissy Marr[2:59:19] Saw that there was a bag full of[2:59:21] Expensive presents[2:59:23] Sitting on the table[2:59:25] Beside her[2:59:27] That somebody had just gotten from like their grandparents[2:59:29] Like some guy[2:59:31] Got a bunch of expensive[2:59:33] Clothes like $400[2:59:35] Worth of clothes from his grandpa[2:59:37] At this fancy restaurant for Christmas[2:59:39] They get up, they're gallivanting, they're doing their thing[2:59:41] They're saying their goodbyes[2:59:43] She decides to while she's walking out[2:59:45] Take the bag of[2:59:47] Presents and skedaddle out[2:59:49] And then she told the whole[2:59:51] Story on the show, she bragged about how she[2:59:53] Sold the clothes, how valuable[2:59:55] They were to someone else[2:59:57] But she didn't brag about how expensive they were[2:59:59] She bragged about how expensive[3:00:01] So she told this story that we have on[3:00:03] Tape that we've showed many times[3:00:05] I'm not gonna show it again today[3:00:07] Because we're gonna be making[3:00:09] The definitive[3:00:11] Video for proof[3:00:13] Video[3:00:15] And this is what I ask of you today[3:00:17] I want[3:00:19] We gotta make a thread in the bring back group[3:00:21] We're making an easy[3:00:23] To digest video and I wanna bring on[3:00:25] Editors[3:00:27] More skill level than I assume[3:00:31] I want a perfectly[3:00:33] Easy to understand[3:00:35] Four to five minute video[3:00:37] That shows how she[3:00:39] Stole the presents, admitted to stealing the presents[3:00:41] Talked about all those presents[3:00:43] There was no joke, it was never a joke[3:00:45] Then I wanna show a bit of my[3:00:47] Coverage and then I wanna show all these[3:00:49] Little clips of her telling[3:00:51] People that I made[3:00:53] This story up[3:00:55] Because I can't really have[3:00:57] People going around saying I'm making[3:00:59] Things up and then the other person goes[3:01:01] Oh okay, it's bad for business[3:01:03] It's bad for business[3:01:05] And I need your help and we cannot[3:01:07] Let these guys, especially criminals[3:01:09] Like this that we've shown for year after year[3:01:11] Doing all this fucked up stuff[3:01:13] To just have them go, oh yeah[3:01:15] Watch this clip that she did[3:01:17] Here and this is gonna make you mad[3:01:19] Because all of you know, all of you have[3:01:21] Seen all the shit I've played on Chrissy Marr[3:01:23] It's all fucking real[3:01:25] And I'm gonna show you this clip that's gonna make you so mad[3:01:27] What time code is this at?[3:01:29] Or is it queued up or is it a clip[3:01:31] Oh just, the clip is in the BBG[3:01:33] Yeah I know, I went to it and it leads me[3:01:35] To a YouTube clip, it's in the comments, sorry[3:01:37] Oh great, okay, so we'll go there[3:01:39] And is this it? Jules, David, okay[3:01:41] Let's see what this is[3:01:43] And then I've got to[3:01:45] Slide this over[3:01:47] Here we go, and this is what they caught her[3:01:49] Saying and thank you guys for watching this[3:01:51] Because she thinks that we don't watch this[3:01:53] She's on a podcast with thousands of people[3:01:55] Saying that all the stuff[3:01:57] That I tell people about her[3:01:59] Is just made up[3:02:01] And watch this, this is horrendous[3:02:03] You're saying not to do, wait wait[3:02:05] I actually have[3:02:07] Watched a few hours of[3:02:09] Hermit and Friends[3:02:11] How many hours have you watched Natalie?[3:02:13] A video from YouTube that you clicked before[3:02:15] Which video, this?[3:02:17] Oh my god, that was like[3:02:19] Scaring the living crap out of me[3:02:21] Okay, that is off[3:02:23] Now look what Chrissy Marr does[3:02:25] And I've caught her doing this at least four times[3:02:27] When people bring up the[3:02:29] Christmas stealing presents thing[3:02:31] And look what she does[3:02:33] This is going to make you fucking mad[3:02:35] And we're fighting back[3:02:37] I've been on the Ding Dong Show before[3:02:39] So yeah, um[3:02:41] Okay, oh Redbar, that's the guy[3:02:43] Who made the fan fiction about[3:02:45] My clothing story[3:02:47] And then put this in there[3:02:49] Put this whole clip in this video[3:02:51] That we're making to show[3:02:53] And I plead with you people[3:02:55] She is outright lying to you[3:02:57] Here is the proof[3:02:59] It's all in this video[3:03:01] So you're going to sit there and like believe[3:03:03] A liar because you're on her show[3:03:05] And it's just easier to believe it[3:03:07] You know, we see this with Josh Denny[3:03:09] A million times[3:03:11] And it's just easier to believe it[3:03:13] You know, we see this with Josh Denny[3:03:15] A million times[3:03:17] Where we'll all be in his chat[3:03:19] Telling the guest[3:03:21] Or the other host[3:03:23] Of a show he's on[3:03:25] When he's on a guest on a podcast[3:03:27] Telling him about all his lies[3:03:29] And Josh will tell the guy[3:03:31] Oh, they're just making it up[3:03:33] I will not have my work[3:03:35] Slandered in this manner[3:03:37] I've worked for too many years exposing[3:03:39] Your crimes[3:03:41] You can't just say I've simply made it up[3:03:43] To the two people who always talk about[3:03:45] Suing for slander[3:03:47] As well[3:03:49] Josh Denny today called me[3:03:51] A pedophile[3:03:53] On Twitter Josh Denny in writing[3:03:55] Called me a pedophile[3:03:57] We all know[3:03:59] We all know[3:04:01] If I'm a pedophile or not[3:04:03] And he is outright[3:04:05] Using this[3:04:07] And telling people along with[3:04:09] Everything I've ever said about him is a lie[3:04:11] Not understanding[3:04:13] That everything I've ever said about him[3:04:15] Is stuff he's given me or has been[3:04:17] Given to me by other people[3:04:19] We're not making up a story[3:04:21] We're showing you[3:04:23] What happened[3:04:25] So we need a video[3:04:27] Of Chrissy admitting to stealing[3:04:29] The Christmas presents[3:04:31] We need all these little tapes[3:04:33] Put together like let's put this together[3:04:35] Finally and every time she tells a host[3:04:37] Cause you're in her chat when this has happened[3:04:39] Every time she tells a host[3:04:41] Please if you have the four minutes[3:04:43] Please watch this video[3:04:45] It will explain everything it's very easy to read[3:04:47] Will they even believe it then or will they still[3:04:49] Pretend[3:04:51] That oh yeah it's trolls because you don't[3:04:53] Want to be put in this situation and start hating her[3:04:55] When you should[3:04:57] I mean all of these people and all they do[3:04:59] Is sit around talking about truth[3:05:01] Justice and exposing[3:05:03] No good[3:05:05] No gooders and how people are corrupt[3:05:07] You're corrupt[3:05:09] You're the liars[3:05:11] And your fan base should hate you and you should hate her[3:05:13] And you should hate her[3:05:15] But you pretend[3:05:17] It's like Kumiya[3:05:19] Following all the 13 year old girls on Instagram[3:05:21] When all of you are pedo hunters[3:05:23] You've got one right here[3:05:25] But you don't want to[3:05:27] Oh that's not part of your plan is it[3:05:29] You want to pedo hunt[3:05:31] When it's easy[3:05:33] You don't want to go after your boss[3:05:35] Or your best friend[3:05:37] Right[3:05:39] That's what it takes[3:05:41] It's very easy to sit there and parrot[3:05:43] Oh Jeremy Epstein[3:05:45] I'm such a bad guy[3:05:47] No die[3:05:49] Do it to your boss[3:05:51] Make it local[3:05:53] You have the power[3:05:55] You're sitting right there you want to pedo bust[3:05:57] Pedo bust the boss[3:05:59] I shouldn't have to do all this pedo busting[3:06:01] I'm not into pedo busting[3:06:03] I'm livid[3:06:05] With the lying and it must stop[3:06:07] Isn't that such a bad feeling[3:06:09] When you see someone just straight up lie[3:06:11] Yes[3:06:13] And it needs to stop and we need to do something about it[3:06:15] She must pay[3:06:17] Denny must pay[3:06:19] It's time[3:06:21] We must come up with a plan and we're smart enough[3:06:23] And by pay we need them to come and go[3:06:25] I was lying, Mike was right[3:06:27] We won't stop until you admit you lied[3:06:29] So we need to come up with a plan and we've got plenty of people here[3:06:31] Go to the bring back group or join if you haven't[3:06:33] It's Scars Club only[3:06:35] Redbarradio.net slash BBG[3:06:37] Let's put our minds together[3:06:39] These two[3:06:41] We need to put a stop to them[3:06:43] And we need a plan because exposing them doesn't work[3:06:45] They just tell people we're lying[3:06:47] So we need[3:06:49] Definitive, we gotta put our heads together[3:06:51] And that's the beauty of life[3:06:53] All you gotta do when you want something done[3:06:55] Is think about it[3:06:57] Really[3:06:59] Think about it and spend some time thinking about it[3:07:01] And eventually[3:07:03] Boom[3:07:05] You create[3:07:07] Something that happens[3:07:09] That's all it takes[3:07:11] So we can do this[3:07:13] We need some patience, we need some time[3:07:15] But it must happen[3:07:17] Think about Josh laughing it up on that keyboard[3:07:19] Think about Chrissy saying they're not able to look up at the camera[3:07:21] When she says it because she knows it's a flat out fucking line[3:07:23] Staring right down at her feet[3:07:25] Staring right down at those big fat[3:07:27] Freckled feet[3:07:29] That I want in cuffs[3:07:31] Do you understand me? By the way, I have a question on all the gun guys[3:07:33] If I hold someone at gunpoint, can I also cuff them?[3:07:35] Can you cuff them to a pipe?[3:07:37] What are the rules?[3:07:39] Can I cuff people?[3:07:41] Can I make[3:07:43] Half arrests? How long?[3:07:45] So if you have someone at gunpoint[3:07:47] Hey officer, sorry to bother you, I have someone at gunpoint[3:07:49] What do you do the whole time? Do you wait there for 30 minutes[3:07:51] While the cops come?[3:07:53] Yeah, he's still at gunpoint[3:07:55] This is fucking life[3:07:57] I don't have time to sit there all day like this[3:07:59] He could kick the gun out of my hand[3:08:01] Can I cuff people?[3:08:03] And then I want to start wearing cuffs[3:08:05] Walkie talkie, all the cop stuff[3:08:07] I'm just a cop now[3:08:09] Okay, we've got much more to do[3:08:11] But point your heads together, I need help here[3:08:13] We must take these two down[3:08:15] These two redheads, by the way[3:08:17] These two redheads[3:08:19] These deadheads[3:08:21] I want to hear from both of their mouths[3:08:23] Wait, I lied[3:08:25] Mike was right[3:08:27] All these gift bags, presents[3:08:29] And what do we have here?[3:08:31] I just added the clip that you said you didn't want to show[3:08:33] Well I do want to show it, I didn't know we had this[3:08:35] There was a bag on one of the tables[3:08:37] Oh so this is her[3:08:39] Telling the original story[3:08:41] Just to show you real quick[3:08:43] But I want the full tape, none of this janky editing by the way[3:08:45] Like[3:08:47] I yelled at Jules this morning[3:08:49] Cause she's like yeah, just[3:08:51] Maybe one of the clippers[3:08:53] No, this must be[3:08:55] Like, this video I want to be like[3:08:57] When you hand people, it's like[3:08:59] Fucking handing them money[3:09:01] Like this video needs to be so easy[3:09:03] And well thought out to put a stop to her[3:09:05] Can't just be like janky ass clips[3:09:07] So that's what I mean[3:09:09] We're showing you some of this stuff now[3:09:11] But we got to put our heads together and do this right[3:09:13] So this was me showing her on[3:09:15] In hot water telling the original story[3:09:17] It was never a joke[3:09:19] These people do it too[3:09:21] They tell horrible stories[3:09:23] Because they have no gauge on what's right or wrong[3:09:25] So[3:09:27] They do horrible things and say horrible things[3:09:29] And they don't know what's wrong until I[3:09:31] Call them out usually[3:09:33] And then[3:09:35] And then what they'll do is they'll go[3:09:37] I was joking, you weren't[3:09:39] I know who's joking and who's not[3:09:41] But we also know for sure she wasn't joking[3:09:43] Because Bill Schultz told the story separately[3:09:45] On his own episode on the same day[3:09:47] This is what we need to put in the video[3:09:49] So remember this, Bill Schultz told the story[3:09:51] Independently on his show[3:09:53] On the same network[3:09:55] About how Chrissy stole these gifts[3:09:57] And it wasn't[3:09:59] And then Chrissy told her story after that[3:10:01] There was no, it's not a joke[3:10:03] The whole network was talking about it[3:10:05] And here's her talking about it[3:10:07] And there were all these gift bags[3:10:09] We must take her down, presents[3:10:11] There was a bag on one of the tables[3:10:13] And it was like[3:10:15] A shopping bag, a purse[3:10:17] Go on, shopping bag[3:10:19] I'm looking at it, I'm watching a lot of people leave[3:10:21] I'm kind of lingering around[3:10:23] Because you want to steal this bag[3:10:25] There's probably nice clothes in that bag[3:10:27] And I'm just sort of hanging around[3:10:29] I'm standing around[3:10:31] Just a typical joke right[3:10:33] And then it's like, so what you're saying is[3:10:35] Let's pretend it is a joke[3:10:37] Just like Brad Williams[3:10:39] It's a joke right[3:10:41] So your jokes are just like kind of boring[3:10:43] Stories that make you look awful[3:10:45] What kind of a joke is that?[3:10:47] What kind of a joke is[3:10:49] A ten minute story about how you stole[3:10:51] Someone's presents with no punch lines[3:10:53] Or jokes[3:10:55] And listen to the way she explains how she did it[3:10:57] She's an experienced thief[3:10:59] And the lies don't stop[3:11:01] And again, if the alt-right[3:11:03] And I call any conservative[3:11:05] Alt-right to me[3:11:07] If you're conservative, I call you alt-right[3:11:09] She's alt-right, they're all alt-right[3:11:11] I didn't think if some scumbag was just[3:11:13] Telling this story on the side of the road[3:11:15] Being like, I stole some guy's presents[3:11:17] But this girl is on Twitter every day[3:11:19] Acting like she's the moral[3:11:21] Queen of America[3:11:23] That's what I mean, so if you're one of these conservatives[3:11:25] Who's all business every day[3:11:27] Then you can't be with this liar[3:11:29] Thief who's stealing[3:11:31] If you love cops so much[3:11:33] She's allowing[3:11:35] An alleged pedophile[3:11:37] Her boss, Anthony Cumiya[3:11:39] Has done so much stuff[3:11:41] To allude to the fact that he[3:11:43] Probably[3:11:45] Does pedophilic stuff[3:11:47] And she's a pedophile crusader[3:11:49] She's protecting him[3:11:51] She makes excuses for him[3:11:53] So everything she does should be against[3:11:55] The agenda of the very[3:11:57] People that invite her on the show[3:11:59] Don't be mad at me[3:12:01] Because she lied to you[3:12:03] Be mad at her[3:12:05] With me, get it?[3:12:07] Watch this[3:12:09] This[3:12:11] Or this, or that[3:12:13] Here[3:12:15] There's probably nice clothes in that bag[3:12:17] And I'm just sort of hanging around[3:12:19] I'm standing around and I was sitting next to[3:12:21] I was sitting next to Larry[3:12:23] And he was like, just take it[3:12:25] I was like, I'm just gonna take it[3:12:27] So I took it and I walked out with it[3:12:29] And she took them[3:12:31] While the couples weren't looking[3:12:33] Someone took them home[3:12:35] I got $400 worth of somebody else's Christmas present[3:12:37] She stole, she was bragging about it[3:12:39] I got $400 worth of free sweaters[3:12:41] And it goes on and on[3:12:43] And then we got the bill shirt[3:12:45] So that's why it can't be this clip[3:12:47] It can't be this bullshit clip[3:12:49] Because they're not gonna watch this[3:12:51] So we gotta, again, make something beautiful[3:12:53] That her buddies[3:12:55] That everyone she knows[3:12:57] Is gonna wanna click[3:12:59] And they can't turn it off[3:13:01] That's the goal[3:13:03] And they don't wanna watch it[3:13:05] But by the end[3:13:07] They believe that is our mission[3:13:09] Okay? Isn't it fun[3:13:11] To have a mission? You can come back to me[3:13:13] Isn't it fun[3:13:15] To have a little mission[3:13:17] Now, I don't know where we should go from this[3:13:19] Do you quickly wanna talk about Josh Denny's best friends[3:13:21] While we're on this tour? Yeah, why not[3:13:23] Josh Denny claims he's got a lot of best friends now[3:13:25] And this is ultra[3:13:27] Pathetic, look at this[3:13:29] Um[3:13:31] You know, and his tweets are something else[3:13:33] Please, go follow Josh[3:13:35] Denny on Twitter[3:13:37] He's got over a hundred K[3:13:39] Followers and the stuff that[3:13:41] I mean, really[3:13:43] Most of our Facebook group is just[3:13:45] Screenshots of his daily tweets[3:13:47] And each one tops[3:13:49] Every day I go[3:13:51] There's no way this man can shock me[3:13:53] And every day he shocks me[3:13:55] Well, it's like what I said about Christina P[3:13:57] I can't explain to you[3:13:59] Within a 6.5 hour show[3:14:01] What's going on here[3:14:03] Josh Denny would be a[3:14:05] Full time, and that's why I[3:14:07] Don't cover him as much[3:14:09] As I should, because[3:14:11] You cover one thing, you'll be here[3:14:13] All day, it doesn't end[3:14:15] He's burying me in[3:14:17] Paperwork here, with the stuff[3:14:19] He does, so follow, this is like[3:14:21] Extracurricular[3:14:23] Stuff, where you could follow him on your own time[3:14:25] And see what we're talking about[3:14:27] If you come in the bring back group, you'll see him every day[3:14:29] It's too much[3:14:31] So let's see what this one is[3:14:33] Jeremy Scott says[3:14:35] Hey, mi cumia[3:14:37] Am I really reading this like this?[3:14:39] Hey mi cumia, sorry to bother you[3:14:41] He probably meant Mr. cumia[3:14:43] Oh, okay, so somebody writes[3:14:45] To cumia, of course[3:14:47] Hey, Mr. cumia, sorry to bother you[3:14:49] But you need to know the truth[3:14:51] About Josh Denny stealing money[3:14:53] From the ticket sales[3:14:55] Of your last event[3:14:57] Now I don't even believe this because[3:14:59] I would know about, like this would be the top[3:15:01] If he did it, we would know[3:15:03] Yeah, this would be the top thing coming across my desk[3:15:05] So obviously it's a troll[3:15:07] And they're just trying to get a[3:15:09] Rise out of Josh, and Josh falls for it[3:15:11] Of course, and he goes, oh no[3:15:13] You foiled my master plan[3:15:15] To fuck over two of[3:15:17] My best friends[3:15:19] On the very first gig, he's talking about[3:15:21] Cumia and Gavin[3:15:23] So because[3:15:25] Cumia and Gavin are such low lives[3:15:27] It's kind of like Louie[3:15:29] You know how Louie only hangs out with[3:15:31] Joe List now[3:15:33] Coming up[3:15:35] And he used to hang out with Seinfeld[3:15:37] Louie was like an A-list[3:15:39] Celebrity[3:15:41] Before he died, don't forget that[3:15:43] And now he's hanging around[3:15:45] With the likes of Joe List and Ari Shafir[3:15:47] On roofs, it's bad[3:15:49] And it's[3:15:51] It's like Cumia and Gavin[3:15:53] Denny wants to pretend that[3:15:55] Cumia and Gavin are like the Cumia and Gavin[3:15:57] From when they were both at their height[3:15:59] Like, he's pretending[3:16:01] It's the great Anthony Cumia from[3:16:03] Opie and Anthony, and he's pretending it's Gavin from[3:16:05] Vice, it's not[3:16:07] These two are like the most[3:16:09] Washed up guys online[3:16:11] And they're hanging out with you[3:16:13] A guy who's literally[3:16:15] You don't even exist[3:16:17] As far as[3:16:19] A player in this game[3:16:21] Because you can't[3:16:23] I mean, you try so hard and you get so not far[3:16:25] And in the end[3:16:27] Well, we'll see what happens[3:16:29] But[3:16:31] This is a guy who just today said[3:16:33] Oh, by the way, I'm no longer on locals[3:16:35] Dave Rubin's[3:16:37] Social media site, by the way[3:16:39] Remember, he was pushing locals[3:16:41] Yeah, locals[3:16:43] Have you ever been there? No one has[3:16:45] 64 members[3:16:47] I wish Denny would post on[3:16:49] Locals once a week[3:16:51] And you would pay for this content[3:16:53] Nobody did[3:16:55] And every one of his locals posts[3:16:57] Got zero[3:16:59] 2.5 likes[3:17:01] On average[3:17:03] It didn't move his needle[3:17:05] One way or another[3:17:07] And today, he announces[3:17:09] I'm no longer on locals, I'm joining[3:17:11] Rav4, a new platform[3:17:13] Where you have to pay[3:17:15] For nothing[3:17:17] You've gathered zero fans[3:17:19] In all your years[3:17:21] And that's why it's so frustrating[3:17:23] Because he's just[3:17:25] Parading, masquerading[3:17:27] As somebody who's doing something[3:17:29] And he's not[3:17:31] I mean, he lives in a $600[3:17:33] Starter apartment in Burbank[3:17:35] His operation[3:17:37] Is out of the side of his kitchen[3:17:39] He's an Uber driver[3:17:41] And[3:17:43] The world's biggest liar[3:17:45] I mean, he literally lied about[3:17:47] Just like Chrissy Martin[3:17:49] He told people that he was in a plane crash[3:17:51] Lied about it, admitted it[3:17:53] And then when we covered it, he tells people[3:17:55] We made the whole thing up[3:17:57] You're gonna let people do this[3:17:59] We're gonna let these people get away with this[3:18:01] So here he is, and he goes, oh no, you foiled my master plan[3:18:03] To fuck over two of my best friends[3:18:05] On the very first gig[3:18:07] So that they pull the plug[3:18:09] On the other four shows[3:18:11] Coming up around the clock[3:18:13] For this year[3:18:15] Wait, you have four shows coming up[3:18:17] That you're working on[3:18:19] Around the clock[3:18:21] Around the clock for what?[3:18:23] And we have spies at every one of your shows[3:18:25] He means that he's working on them[3:18:27] Around the clock in his kitchen[3:18:29] Yes, I'm working around a clock[3:18:31] Like the clock's around[3:18:33] On his oven[3:18:35] That clock don't tell the right time[3:18:37] Just like you[3:18:39] And we've listened[3:18:41] To all of your stand-up[3:18:43] This is why these people, they lie to our faces[3:18:45] You can cut to me[3:18:47] We have spies at every one of your stand-up events[3:18:49] You only do four stand-up events[3:18:51] Per year, because you're not a real stand-up[3:18:53] You do a corporate gig[3:18:55] A two-person bar open mic[3:18:57] And a bullshit Anthony Cumi event[3:18:59] That had 32 people there[3:19:01] Because Gavin is the founder of the Proud Boys[3:19:03] And everyone there was a Proud Boy[3:19:05] There's not one person who came out for you[3:19:07] So let's get that straight[3:19:09] And we've heard all of your stand-up[3:19:11] Because we literally have tapes of all of it[3:19:13] And you've been doing the same jokes[3:19:15] Since I met you in 2007[3:19:17] Or something[3:19:19] So don't tell me you're working[3:19:21] Around the clock[3:19:23] On your stand-up[3:19:25] Where is it?[3:19:27] I've heard all of your stand-up[3:19:29] It's repeating the same Hitler joke[3:19:31] You created seven years ago[3:19:33] So these are all lies[3:19:35] Josh Denny actually just did another lie[3:19:37] About you on Twitter[3:19:39] In the past 20 minutes[3:19:41] Look at this[3:19:43] Josh Denny, you trolls just hate[3:19:45] That we're succeeding[3:19:47] And enjoying working together[3:19:49] So you're trying to divide us[3:19:51] And start shit[3:19:53] It's laughable[3:19:55] I hope your cult leader is doing okay with his[3:19:57] Pedophile cancer[3:19:59] Excuse me?[3:20:01] Click the one that I just sent you[3:20:03] And shouldn't you[3:20:05] Be able to have something better[3:20:07] I've been torturing you for 15 years[3:20:09] And all you can do is two things[3:20:11] That aren't true[3:20:13] Everybody knows I don't have cancer[3:20:15] And everybody knows I'm not a pedophile[3:20:17] So it's wasted[3:20:19] Shots[3:20:21] You know what I mean?[3:20:23] Imagine if I came out here and just said[3:20:25] Two lies about my enemies[3:20:27] Okay I'm gonna go crazy[3:20:29] Where is it right here?[3:20:31] This one[3:20:33] Pulling it up now[3:20:35] Okay[3:20:37] And then somebody says pedophile?[3:20:39] Those bullshit rumors about Kumiya have been around for years[3:20:41] Didn't take you long[3:20:43] That's great[3:20:45] So this guy turns it around on him[3:20:47] Pedophile Kumiya, pedophile cancer?[3:20:49] Looks like Kumiya[3:20:51] Josh responds I have not read this[3:20:53] I'm terrified[3:20:55] Ha ha[3:20:57] Not who I'm referencing[3:20:59] He married his 13 year old[3:21:03] This is what we're gonna let him get away with[3:21:05] 13 year old Fent[3:21:07] Jules is 29[3:21:09] Years old[3:21:11] I am 39[3:21:13] So this is what[3:21:15] He's gonna use[3:21:17] This is what you use[3:21:19] To get back at me[3:21:21] Actually[3:21:23] So Anthony Kumiya[3:21:25] Again this is what I mean[3:21:27] It's solid proof that Kumiya is doing this[3:21:29] And then you're just going to use[3:21:31] The thing that he does[3:21:33] Against us is a lie[3:21:35] You know and[3:21:37] It's all like[3:21:39] That's the thing[3:21:41] All of what we say exists in reality[3:21:45] And all of the things he says about us[3:21:47] They're complete fiction[3:21:49] That you could prove[3:21:51] So what is the point of doing this[3:21:53] Unless you just showcase that you're[3:21:55] A bigger liar than we ever imagined[3:21:59] And this should make people mad[3:22:01] You're gonna let people fucking say this shit about me[3:22:03] And if Mike is such a shitty[3:22:05] Hack failed comic[3:22:07] Shouldn't it be so easy[3:22:09] For you to dunk on him[3:22:11] To kill us, to destroy us[3:22:13] Instead of just a pedophile[3:22:15] And this is coming from a guy who's constantly[3:22:17] Threatening to sue[3:22:19] If one word[3:22:21] Of our accusations are wrong[3:22:23] About him[3:22:25] This is a guy who's threatened to sue us multiple times[3:22:27] And says he's no stranger[3:22:29] In the courtroom[3:22:31] He's no stranger around the courtroom[3:22:33] He knows the law[3:22:35] And yet[3:22:37] He goes around saying this[3:22:41] So a plan must be initiated[3:22:43] This is why you can't cover Denny[3:22:45] Anywhere because we get too funny[3:22:47] It's too much, so this is what I want[3:22:49] And I don't care who knows it[3:22:51] Chrissy Marr and Josh Denny[3:22:53] I want a plan to take them down[3:22:55] Legally, and we're all gonna just work on it until it's there[3:22:57] And I will pay big money[3:22:59] That's the other part that sucks[3:23:01] I have all this extra cash[3:23:03] To spend on projects[3:23:05] Such as this[3:23:07] And that's where I want to spend my money[3:23:09] So Josh, I am going to be spending my money[3:23:11] And resources to figure out a[3:23:13] Final plan[3:23:15] To stop you[3:23:17] In a Ronan Farrow type of way[3:23:19] That's like way worse than anything anyone can do to me[3:23:21] It's like when I[3:23:23] You think about Sam Tripoli and that old[3:23:25] Lady, like they're not sitting around[3:23:27] With the good brainstorms[3:23:29] So[3:23:31] They should be very worried and very scared[3:23:33] When we brainstorm, cool stuff[3:23:35] Comes out of it[3:23:37] And it's time[3:23:39] I'm not letting this happen[3:23:41] On season 21[3:23:43] Josh will go bye bye by then[3:23:45] Or else[3:23:47] All right[3:23:49] Was there more Josh[3:23:51] Best friends, yeah[3:23:53] So he's best friends with Kumi and Gavin[3:23:55] Wasn't there something else?[3:23:57] Yeah, scroll down in the same note[3:23:59] Yeah, look at this[3:24:01] This one here?[3:24:03] Okay, check this out[3:24:05] So he's best friends with Gavin and Kumi[3:24:07] Do they know this?[3:24:09] And then he says this[3:24:11] Probably should say this[3:24:13] Since I've seen it come up a few times[3:24:15] Yeah, this is the first part[3:24:17] The live sensor.tv events[3:24:19] Are not a replacement for Compound America[3:24:21] Live events[3:24:23] Both networks will continue doing their live events[3:24:25] Ant is on both[3:24:27] So it makes sense to have him on both[3:24:29] Maybe one guy complained[3:24:33] That it's bullshit that you're involved[3:24:35] In their events? Nobody said anything[3:24:37] So[3:24:39] In Josh's head he's gotta like[3:24:41] Fix this confusion[3:24:43] By maybe one fucking idiot[3:24:45] Who doesn't even live in the New York area[3:24:47] They're never gonna see him[3:24:49] But then he says this and this is what was so[3:24:51] Disturbing[3:24:53] Compound is mostly standups[3:24:55] Whereas I[3:24:57] Am the only standup[3:24:59] It's censored for now[3:25:01] So not only do we love[3:25:03] Anthony Kumiya, but he's kinda necessary[3:25:05] There's no[3:25:07] Intention for my part for the censored[3:25:09] Events to take away from the compound[3:25:11] Events. Chrissy Marr and Gino Bisconti[3:25:13] Are legit[3:25:15] Two of my absolute[3:25:17] Best friends[3:25:19] In comedy[3:25:21] Wow[3:25:23] Friends, they're not your best[3:25:27] It's Comedian Changes[3:25:29] Where comedians[3:25:31] Make a change[3:25:33] New best friends[3:25:35] New loves, new opportunity[3:25:37] Comedian Changes[3:25:39] Find Will[3:25:43] Changes[3:25:47] Wow, look at that[3:25:49] I didn't know it kept going[3:25:51] So he's best friends with[3:25:53] Kumiya Gavin, Chrissy Marr[3:25:55] And Gino[3:25:57] What a great group[3:25:59] And he's like met these people[3:26:01] Maybe twice[3:26:03] Best friends[3:26:05] And if they all are best friends[3:26:07] What a drag[3:26:09] Really[3:26:11] We shouldn't even have to say[3:26:13] Quite pathetic group of bests[3:26:15] Anyway, since that was so enraging[3:26:17] Let's have a quick Denny laugh[3:26:19] So this is an edit made by Jake[3:26:21] DeMon[3:26:23] And he's the man[3:26:25] Currently one of two[3:26:27] Live viewers on Denny's channel[3:26:29] Right now and he posts a screenshot[3:26:31] This is true[3:26:33] Follow Denny on YouTube[3:26:35] Even with our pleas to follow him[3:26:37] And tune into his shows[3:26:39] He still ends up with two live viewers[3:26:41] So Denny went live[3:26:43] And it was two and what was so funny about this is[3:26:45] Guess who was number two[3:26:47] That guy was number one[3:26:49] We were number two[3:26:51] Oh well, we were two or three[3:26:53] I think I gave him two views because[3:26:55] I clicked away and clicked back[3:26:57] Clicked away and clicked back and then it turned to three[3:26:59] But I said, aha![3:27:01] Literally just took the same[3:27:03] When someone I don't know on the other side of the world[3:27:05] Posting a screenshot[3:27:07] Of you with two views and me at the same time[3:27:09] Is at home in bed[3:27:11] Taking a picture of my[3:27:13] TV to show the same thing[3:27:15] Three watching and this isn't the start[3:27:17] Of the show, this isn't the preshow[3:27:19] Look at that red bar[3:27:21] Look at that red bar, how long that's been going[3:27:23] And it's three viewers[3:27:25] And this is a daily occurrence[3:27:27] And then we'll like[3:27:29] Message the guests and be like, you have one[3:27:31] Viewer and be like, ugh, the trolls[3:27:33] No, it is one viewer[3:27:35] You both see the one[3:27:37] You both know[3:27:39] It's not the trolls[3:27:41] So there it is[3:27:43] And somebody made an edit[3:27:45] And it's a very funny edit[3:27:47] It's by Jack Williamson[3:27:49] And hold on, I gotta do that thing where I[3:27:51] Quickly unmute, I blow it up[3:27:53] Enter full screen and then[3:27:55] Let's enjoy the beautiful edit here[3:27:57] To make you laugh[3:27:59] It's Josh Denny and Josh[3:28:01] Lakash[3:28:03] You have been cancelled[3:28:05] Before we get out of here, Mind of Scarecrow[3:28:07] Says, those closet doors though[3:28:09] Yeah, my closet's in the background, my kitchen's right[3:28:11] Over there, like, what do you want from me?[3:28:13] You know what, Mind of Scarecrow[3:28:15] We all can't live in Costa Rica, man[3:28:17] Yeah, but I gotta say[3:28:19] Something to that guy, you know, like, that's very[3:28:21] Rude, because, you know, we're trying to[3:28:23] We're trying to entertain you with our[3:28:25] With our, you know, witty[3:28:27] Nick-dotes[3:28:29] And our, you know, opinions and all[3:28:31] So, how great is that?[3:28:33] So, obviously, someone in his chat[3:28:35] Oh my god, did I do a spill?[3:28:37] I didn't even notice that[3:28:39] Paper towel roll right under the desk[3:28:41] Installed, I got like the George Costanza desk[3:28:43] Everything's installed on this one[3:28:45] You're never gonna hear, tool, tool, tool[3:28:47] Unless it's firework related[3:28:49] Which we were not set up for that[3:28:51] I'm gonna miss being yelled at for a spill[3:28:53] It's actually kinda sad[3:28:55] Somebody goes, Mike, I heard the rip of those[3:28:57] Listen to this, somebody goes, Mike, I heard that rip[3:28:59] Of that paper towel[3:29:01] You know, I think you would really enjoy some premium[3:29:03] Paper towels, and they linked me and my heart[3:29:05] Stopped, because guess what[3:29:07] Was one of the things on our first[3:29:09] To-do list for this studio[3:29:11] Was to get[3:29:13] Luxury paper towels[3:29:15] Like the best[3:29:17] You're the best, like a hundred dollars[3:29:19] Where each towel is like a nice[3:29:21] Actual towel that you rip[3:29:23] I wouldn't mind that[3:29:25] And we[3:29:27] That thing is living[3:29:29] On the bottom of our to-do list[3:29:31] It's never happened, and then I got[3:29:33] Caught, Terran[3:29:35] Merch level[3:29:37] Paper towel, I mean these things[3:29:39] So, humiliated[3:29:41] Humiliated[3:29:43] And that person was right, and the upgrade[3:29:45] Is coming very soon[3:29:47] I think it was Ellie Hendrix[3:29:49] Oh really? I thought it was a girl[3:29:51] I thought it was a girl[3:29:53] Anyway, but did you see that?[3:29:55] So Denny, look at this, this is so wonderful to me[3:29:57] Denny does the show[3:29:59] Out of his kitchenette, right?[3:30:01] And he always sits in front of[3:30:03] And it's weird[3:30:05] And I'm so glad this fan in his chat[3:30:07] Asked why the closet doors[3:30:09] Were open, because those doors[3:30:11] Used to be closed[3:30:13] For two, three years, those closet doors were[3:30:15] Always closed[3:30:17] And all of a sudden[3:30:19] They've been open for months[3:30:21] Every episode[3:30:23] So, me, like that listener at home[3:30:25] Who asked him[3:30:27] Why are the closet doors open?[3:30:29] What's going on?[3:30:31] Now Josh confidently[3:30:33] Of course scolds the guy[3:30:35] But again, I gotta see that zoom in one more time[3:30:37] He's thinking about it baby[3:30:39] He's thinking about those closet doors[3:30:41] He's thinking about that chat, when you have two people[3:30:43] Watching live, and they're both[3:30:45] Fucking with you from Red Bar[3:30:47] It's probably not that fun[3:30:49] Doing a live show for them[3:30:51] I mean, imagine that[3:30:53] You're doing an hour-long performance for me[3:30:55] And one other guy who hate you[3:30:59] That's really the truth of it[3:31:01] At least, like, when we watch Rogan[3:31:03] And hate him, and Tom Skerritt[3:31:05] There's like millions of people who love them[3:31:07] That are also watching[3:31:09] You're the legit only fool[3:31:11] We have[3:31:13] Where you're only performing[3:31:15] For us[3:31:17] You literally just do this for us[3:31:19] I mean, the facts are[3:31:21] We're not joking[3:31:23] There's not 30 viewers[3:31:25] There's not 14[3:31:27] There's three tops on average[3:31:29] And every time we do it, you can go to the Bring Back group in real time[3:31:31] And see it's me[3:31:33] A poster, and maybe one other guy[3:31:35] Who just saw the poster[3:31:37] Xander[3:31:39] And if it's not us, it's another three of us[3:31:41] Watching without posting[3:31:43] So, watch when he discovers[3:31:45] That it's this again[3:31:47] And how pathetic is this[3:31:49] To just keep powering through[3:31:51] These make-believe shows[3:31:53] In hopes that's gonna own us[3:31:55] We're gonna be here till the end[3:31:57] We're never letting you off the hook, Josh[3:31:59] And[3:32:01] To do these shows[3:32:03] And pretend like there's some sort of audience[3:32:05] Watching these[3:32:07] Where? There's no other copies of the show[3:32:09] It's YouTube only[3:32:11] We see the live numbers[3:32:13] We see the published numbers[3:32:15] We keep track of them[3:32:17] You are doing your career[3:32:19] For me[3:32:21] And mostly just me and my wife[3:32:23] And look[3:32:25] And we know it's true[3:32:27] And you're gonna power through it, but look at your fucking eyes[3:32:29] That means you cater to pedophiles[3:32:31] You cater to pedophiles[3:32:33] Before we get out of here[3:32:35] Mind of Scarecrow says, those closet doors[3:32:37] Yeah, my closet's in the background[3:32:39] My kitchen's right over there[3:32:41] You know what's so good? I love this[3:32:43] And I always like to remind people[3:32:45] Don't read a comment unless you[3:32:47] Have a comeback[3:32:49] Or unless you[3:32:51] Think maybe I can think of a comeback[3:32:53] It is so pathetic to be like[3:32:55] So this guy says I have a shitty?[3:32:57] Yeah, I have a shitty kitchen[3:32:59] Well, I mean[3:33:01] You had nothing[3:33:03] So don't read the comment that you didn't have to read[3:33:05] And no one would know this happened[3:33:07] You'd never get the zoom edit[3:33:09] No one would make this edit[3:33:11] But you had to read the comment[3:33:13] Because it was really bothering you[3:33:15] Wasn't it? So look at that[3:33:17] He tries to roll it away[3:33:19] But then the eyes tell him, I have to watch it twice[3:33:21] I love this fucking video[3:33:23] You know what, Mind of Scarecrow?[3:33:25] We all can't live in Costa Rica, man[3:33:27] Yeah, but I gotta say something to that guy[3:33:29] You know, like, that's very rude[3:33:31] Because, you know, we're trying to[3:33:33] Entertain you with our[3:33:35] You know, witty anecdotes[3:33:37] And our, you know[3:33:39] Opinions and all that[3:33:41] And you're just staring off[3:33:43] Beyond the show[3:33:45] Okay, yeah, you're doing a show[3:33:47] For just me, by the way[3:33:49] Nice to meet you[3:33:51] Extremely fucking pathetic[3:33:53] Again, and that's why we can't cover Denny[3:33:55] Because it would be that[3:33:57] Segment over and over[3:33:59] Again[3:34:01] Every show[3:34:03] It's starting to drive me nuts[3:34:05] Trust me, my notebook is like, Denny, Denny did this[3:34:07] Denny, Denny, Denny, Denny, Denny, Denny[3:34:09] We have it all[3:34:11] You can't do it, it's too frustrating[3:34:13] It's too frustrating[3:34:15] You can come back to me and we'll do this[3:34:17] And the THC gets processed into an 11-hydroxy metabolite[3:34:23] Joe Rogan[3:34:25] When you're tired, you're wearing thin[3:34:27] You're stressed out and you need a breather[3:34:31] I can't pull out that tin[3:34:33] Pop the lid and take that keva[3:34:37] It's a completely different animal[3:34:39] It's getting late[3:34:41] Almost two hours in[3:34:43] Mike's had his shots[3:34:45] And popped his aliva[3:34:47] There's only one thing left to do[3:34:49] Sit back, relax, and take that keva[3:34:53] The THC gets processed into an 11-hydroxy metabolite[3:34:59] Rick Glassman[3:35:01] Isn't that one nice?[3:35:03] Some guy years ago[3:35:05] And I have a ton of songs like this[3:35:07] We should get them in rotation more often[3:35:09] Again, make music for us[3:35:11] We love that[3:35:13] And it's fulfilling to you too[3:35:15] And even if it's a bad song that we make fun of[3:35:17] It's still net positive[3:35:19] So don't feel bad[3:35:21] Yum, yum, yum[3:35:23] We're going to take another drink here in a second[3:35:25] If you don't mind[3:35:27] Did we talk about those messages you got next?[3:35:31] I think so, I think it is time[3:35:33] How long have we been doing this great show?[3:35:35] 3.35[3:35:37] 3.35[3:35:39] It's perfect, mid-show[3:35:41] You're not going to believe this one[3:35:43] But I do want to party for a second[3:35:45] I wish I had a song to sing or something[3:35:47] A mid-show song[3:35:49] I have energy for a mid-show song[3:35:51] But I got nothing[3:35:53] I could try this one[3:35:55] What's a funny upbeat one?[3:35:59] Do I have any upbeat ones?[3:36:05] Do that weekend one[3:36:07] Okay, what is it called?[3:36:09] Gasoline[3:36:11] Okay, check this out[3:36:13] You can freestyle it[3:36:15] Yeah, exactly[3:36:17] So mid-show performance[3:36:19] I got my reverb working nice[3:36:25] Jazz, jazz[3:36:27] Shit, do I have time for this?[3:36:33] It's 5 AM, my time again[3:36:35] I'm soaking up my moon[3:36:37] Can't sleep[3:36:41] It's 5 AM, my time again[3:36:43] I'm calling out my name[3:36:45] It's 5 AM, my time again[3:36:47] I'm soaking up my moon[3:36:49] Can't sleep[3:36:51] Can't sleep[3:36:53] It's 5 AM, my time again[3:36:55] I'm calling and you know it's me[3:36:59] I'm pushing myself farther in[3:37:01] I'm trying to feel my heart[3:37:03] My beat[3:37:07] I wrap my hands around your neck[3:37:09] You love it when I always squeeze[3:37:15] I'm high again[3:37:17] And you can see that I'm in pain[3:37:19] Cheers[3:37:23] I've fallen into emptiness[3:37:25] I want you cause we're both insane[3:37:31] Daring into the abyss[3:37:33] I'm looking at myself again[3:37:39] I'm dozing off to REM[3:37:41] I'm trying not to lose my faith[3:37:45] And I love when you watch me sleep[3:37:49] You spin me around so I can breathe[3:37:53] It's only safe for you and me[3:37:57] I know you won't let me go deep[3:38:01] And if I finally die in peace[3:38:05] Just rub my body in these sheets[3:38:09] And pour out to the gasoline[3:38:13] It don't mean much to me[3:38:17] It's 5 AM, I'm nihilist[3:38:19] I know there's nothing after this[3:38:23] Obsessing over aftermath[3:38:25] Apocalypse and hopelessness[3:38:31] The only thing I understand[3:38:33] Is zero sum of tenderness[3:38:39] Oh baby please just hold me close[3:38:41] Make me believe that there's to live[3:38:47] Around and around[3:38:49] Around and around we go[3:38:51] Around and around we go[3:38:53] Thank you everybody the weekend[3:38:55] I've only heard that song a couple of times[3:38:57] Okay you can't blame me for anything that goes wrong here[3:38:59] Alright so where were we going[3:39:01] Oh yes this is our big[3:39:03] Big big big big segment[3:39:05] Big![3:39:07] So let me clear this off the screen[3:39:09] Because we got a new[3:39:11] Enemy boys[3:39:13] And you're not gonna believe who it is[3:39:15] Again they're gunning for me hard[3:39:17] Huh?[3:39:19] Let me hear you[3:39:21] They're gunning for me hard[3:39:23] Huh? Hello?[3:39:25] Is anybody fucking out there?[3:39:27] Okay so we've got a lot of enemies[3:39:29] It's almost getting to the point where it's getting[3:39:31] Silly right?[3:39:33] Where people are just openly[3:39:35] Oh I'm gonna kill him, I'm gonna find him, I'm gonna gut him[3:39:37] You know you've heard from Joey Diaz, Sam Trippley, Anthony Cumbia[3:39:39] The list goes on and on[3:39:41] And it's getting to the point where[3:39:43] Um[3:39:45] If I die it's gotta be[3:39:47] One of those guys right so[3:39:49] It's like my thing if I die it's gotta be one of those guys[3:39:51] Let's drink[3:39:53] To our newest enemy because[3:39:55] This guy fucking rules[3:39:57] You won't believe the little situation[3:39:59] We got him let's do it together[3:40:01] Let's do it together[3:40:17] Mikey's getting better[3:40:19] Ho ho ho[3:40:21] I have a new enemy[3:40:23] You're never gonna fucking[3:40:25] Believe this[3:40:27] Yeah so like[3:40:29] Enemies are crazy here[3:40:31] At Red Bar and we all know[3:40:33] So like[3:40:35] The top guys right now are[3:40:37] Probably you know just like[3:40:39] These guys like so[3:40:41] Of course Joey Diaz[3:40:43] Kinda the guy who got the ball rolling[3:40:45] On like the kill[3:40:47] Mike Red Bar thing[3:40:49] Of course Anthony Cumbia ooh[3:40:51] I mean I've been at it with him for[3:40:53] Years and uh[3:40:55] Obviously he has every reason to kill me[3:40:57] And then of course[3:40:59] Sam Tripoli I mean he's outright[3:41:01] Sad he's coming to[3:41:03] Kill me to multiple people on multiple[3:41:05] Platforms[3:41:09] And the YouTube clippers[3:41:11] I mean you should see I can't even say who these[3:41:13] People are anymore because it's so dark[3:41:15] I mean they're[3:41:17] Sitting there along with these guys[3:41:19] So you know it's starting to[3:41:21] To really come together here and of course[3:41:23] You know all my guys[3:41:25] You're not gonna believe who the newest[3:41:27] Guy is and it's really[3:41:29] Not gonna even make sense to you so[3:41:31] I'll show you this[3:41:33] Right now and the newest[3:41:35] Guy like I might even have to[3:41:39] Refresh your memory because[3:41:41] Here he is and this[3:41:43] Guy goes dead center because[3:41:45] Add this guy to the fucking list[3:41:47] Rich Fassett[3:41:49] Rich Fassett what will[3:41:51] He do for the money[3:41:53] Dangerous three hundred dollars[3:41:55] So we've got[3:41:57] Quite a predicament here[3:41:59] Does anybody know who Rich[3:42:01] Fassett is[3:42:03] Does anybody remember that name[3:42:05] Well I'll refresh[3:42:07] Rich Fassett was that comedian[3:42:09] That we showed on the last[3:42:11] Episode where he had his[3:42:13] Bit edited out on Kill Tony[3:42:15] Because he made fun of Tony[3:42:17] And people[3:42:19] Are going Mike I thought Rich Fassett you played[3:42:21] His clip it was no big deal[3:42:23] You said you loved it you said he did[3:42:25] A good impression you said you were gonna give him[3:42:27] Three hundred dollars remember[3:42:29] I was like I'm giving him three hundred dollars[3:42:31] Cause he's great[3:42:33] And even in the bring back group earlier[3:42:35] In the week we saw that Rich Fassett was[3:42:37] He loved it he um[3:42:39] He saw the clip he reached out[3:42:41] To me he said I love[3:42:43] The clip I joined[3:42:45] Scars Club thank you you were really[3:42:47] I mean I'll show you all the messages[3:42:49] So why is Rich Fassett[3:42:51] The latest guy to[3:42:53] Kill me we find out right now[3:42:55] Here we go[3:43:01] This is just some filler music[3:43:03] So Rich Fassett you're not gonna believe this remarkable[3:43:05] Remarkable chilling[3:43:07] Spooky tale and it's also[3:43:09] The funniest thing that could have ever fucking happened[3:43:11] So thank you Rich Fassett[3:43:13] So Rich Fassett first of all[3:43:15] Um[3:43:17] He's crazy okay you have to[3:43:19] He's fucking crazy[3:43:21] And[3:43:23] It's but it's awesome[3:43:25] It's awesome it's so much[3:43:27] Better so I showed you this[3:43:29] Clip let's see let me open this[3:43:31] Rich Fassett note[3:43:33] Oh the clip is in the I just pulled up[3:43:35] The note from last time Kill Tony[3:43:37] Edits out a guy great let me see this[3:43:39] Kill Tony Edits out a guy[3:43:41] I don't know it's Kill Tony[3:43:43] I don't see that it's right it's Rich[3:43:45] Fassett message to Mike[3:43:47] Oh okay Kill Tony Edits out[3:43:49] Watch this so there was just this random guy[3:43:51] And it was all over Reddit it was all over[3:43:53] The papers[3:43:55] And it was Kill Tony[3:43:57] Edits out stand up comedian[3:43:59] Remember we showed you all the clips we showed you Red Band[3:44:01] It was all on the last episode it was great[3:44:03] And Tony edited out this comedian[3:44:05] Just because the comedian kind of like made fun[3:44:07] Of them and made[3:44:09] Impressions yeah this[3:44:11] Was the guy remember Rich Fassett and this is[3:44:13] Here Rich will just recap[3:44:15] Nice short video and[3:44:17] Watch this here you go[3:44:21] Alright so this is the set that got removed[3:44:23] This is my impersonation of[3:44:25] Every Kill Tony episode[3:44:27] Everybody give it up for the Rick Hans[3:44:29] Kim everybody Hans[3:44:31] Kim Hans how's it[3:44:33] Going it's going good[3:44:35] You know I just banged some homeless lady[3:44:37] Like two hours ago[3:44:39] Hell yeah[3:44:42] And that was it[3:44:44] That was it I was going to do an impersonation of[3:44:46] All the regulars LSH David Lucas[3:44:48] William Montgomery I couldn't even get that far[3:44:50] Because the crowd erupted[3:44:52] Absolutely fucking erupted[3:44:54] I didn't know what to do[3:44:56] So we showed you this video last week[3:44:58] We loved it we were best friends with him[3:45:00] And so I say yeah[3:45:02] Let's give this guy 300 bucks[3:45:04] Because he rules[3:45:06] And[3:45:08] That was it then I[3:45:10] You know after the show happens[3:45:12] We upload the show which is a very lengthy[3:45:14] Process I'm usually up till 4 in the morning[3:45:16] Working on that and then I go to bed[3:45:18] And I don't fucking remember what happened[3:45:20] On Red Bar you know[3:45:22] So yeah sometimes I say 300 dollars[3:45:24] But here's the thing[3:45:26] You know of course I'll give him the 300 dollars[3:45:28] Of course you've seen me I give[3:45:30] 375's every 300[3:45:32] Trust me that is not a number we would[3:45:34] Withhold[3:45:36] You know but I didn't[3:45:38] I'm certainly not going to just give it to him[3:45:40] He's got to come and get it right[3:45:42] You know like when I say[3:45:44] Rich Facet you rule and I'm talking to the abyss here[3:45:46] I don't know if Rich Facet is watching[3:45:48] Rich Facet 300 dollars[3:45:50] You know I'm just saying bullshit[3:45:52] But I will still give you the 300[3:45:54] So[3:45:56] He messages me[3:45:58] And I want to show you this series of messages[3:46:00] Should I have them all here?[3:46:02] Yeah sorry[3:46:04] So Rich Facet messages me[3:46:06] The one above that[3:46:08] If you're going to die[3:46:10] He messages me and we'll start with message one[3:46:12] And I've screenshot all these[3:46:14] Here look at this Rich Facet[3:46:16] Oh you know what I initiated[3:46:18] The conversation before[3:46:20] We played it on the show[3:46:22] So look at this I[3:46:24] Message Rich Facet so I hear about[3:46:26] This Kill Tony story we're about to[3:46:28] Cover it and I message him[3:46:30] Watching your Kill Tony[3:46:32] Video now I'm going to cover it on our show[3:46:34] We have your back[3:46:36] Pretty pretty nice[3:46:38] So I'm like here's the thing about me[3:46:40] I'm pretty much[3:46:42] Always nice first[3:46:44] To just you know if I got no problem with you[3:46:46] I have no problem with you[3:46:48] I'm always nice first[3:46:50] But they always come for my ass[3:46:52] Don't they?[3:46:54] So then I get extremely cruel[3:46:56] But let's see let's see what happened here[3:46:58] Hey watching your Kill Tony[3:47:00] Video now I'm going to cover it on our show[3:47:02] We have your back[3:47:04] And already I like to talk[3:47:06] In ways like this[3:47:08] We have your back[3:47:10] This is what's happening[3:47:12] Very presidential[3:47:14] So that was[3:47:16] June 30th 9.50 AM[3:47:18] And then Sunday he messages me[3:47:20] And he says this[3:47:22] He says hey I'm just reading this now[3:47:24] What's your show called?[3:47:26] Would love to listen[3:47:28] And then I don't see that message either[3:47:30] And then Sunday at 11.04 AM[3:47:32] Comes and he goes[3:47:34] Just saw your show shit was hilarious[3:47:36] Thanks for the support[3:47:38] I really appreciate it man[3:47:40] And I go yeah this is working out[3:47:42] Just as I assumed[3:47:44] Really nothing more to that[3:47:46] And so then they continue[3:47:48] Let's see I said[3:47:50] So I didn't know[3:47:52] I didn't see that message[3:47:54] And this really shows my character[3:47:56] I didn't see that last message[3:47:58] Which I read was just saw your show loved it[3:48:00] But I[3:48:02] Had only read the message[3:48:04] Above that that said[3:48:06] What's the show? I'll check it out[3:48:08] What's the show? So I said here's the app[3:48:10] But I need to give you a login[3:48:12] Look how nice I'm being[3:48:14] Here's the app but let me give you a login[3:48:16] Cause it's Scars Club only[3:48:18] And then I read his message[3:48:20] So I go oh wait no you[3:48:22] Saw it nice[3:48:24] How did you see it though if you don't mind[3:48:26] So he's saying he saw it[3:48:28] And then I'm going wait[3:48:30] How did you see it if you don't mind[3:48:32] I just wanted to know did somebody clip it[3:48:34] Is he stealing[3:48:36] Is somebody stealing[3:48:38] Cause if you're showing here's the thing about Scars Club[3:48:40] You can't even show it to your dad[3:48:42] If I talk about the man[3:48:44] That night[3:48:46] You can't show people what happens[3:48:48] In the Scars Club are you fucking crazy[3:48:50] It says it in the graphic[3:48:52] Under the purchase button[3:48:54] I thought I made myself perfectly clear[3:48:56] The Scars[3:48:58] You can't just you can't wave a guy in[3:49:00] And go look at the did he pay[3:49:02] So[3:49:04] I go how did you see it if you don't mind[3:49:06] Me asking just curiosity[3:49:08] I don't really care[3:49:10] And he says this I paid the $11[3:49:12] Membership you really went in depth[3:49:14] And covered every aspect it was a great[3:49:16] Watch so I go[3:49:18] Oh my god I feel awful he paid[3:49:20] $11 for that[3:49:22] Which is well worth it for him by the way[3:49:24] If I were him and this[3:49:26] Fucking person was doing what I[3:49:28] Did for him yes I pay[3:49:30] $111[3:49:32] $111 for that[3:49:34] So[3:49:36] This keeps going[3:49:38] He messages me again[3:49:40] And he says[3:49:42] Is there any way I could log in[3:49:44] Or send to people[3:49:46] And I don't see that message for quite[3:49:48] Some time and then on Monday at 4 39[3:49:50] PM here it is[3:49:52] Is the 300[3:49:54] Cash real[3:49:56] Or was that a joke[3:50:00] She's thinking about the[3:50:02] Money[3:50:04] Do I have any money yeah[3:50:06] He's thinking about my[3:50:08] He wants what I[3:50:10] Hold[3:50:12] Like oh why didn't we get a little[3:50:14] LED in the bottom[3:50:16] That I probably[3:50:18] We're doing that we're upgrading the coins[3:50:20] That's[3:50:22] Havela[3:50:24] So there it is and this is so[3:50:26] Funny if you know anything about Redbar[3:50:28] We do this all the time where we go[3:50:30] We're getting money you're getting money[3:50:32] And if you're a man[3:50:34] You hear this and if it's not like followed[3:50:36] Up on you just[3:50:38] You get it out of your mind okay[3:50:40] But like a horny[3:50:42] Horny[3:50:44] Boy he[3:50:46] Can't get the 300 out of his fucking head[3:50:48] He sees this hot gorilla[3:50:50] At a bar he's a drunk stupid dork[3:50:52] And he's obsessed right[3:50:54] He's following her around the grocery store[3:50:56] He saw what he thought was a nice spot[3:50:58] From behind by the way could be an Asian person[3:51:00] You have no idea[3:51:02] He saw what he thought was a nice spot at the grocery store[3:51:04] He says fine[3:51:06] Do you do that I do that[3:51:08] Is that illegal[3:51:10] I go Jules I'll be right back I'm gonna[3:51:12] Go look for charcoal[3:51:14] It's like any store it's girls clothing[3:51:16] I'm gonna go look for charcoal[3:51:18] You know and Jules is over here[3:51:20] By the way and I'm looking I'm gonna go look for charcoal[3:51:22] And she turns around she's Asian[3:51:24] Oh never mind there's no charcoal[3:51:26] It was a lie I love you[3:51:28] I'll never leave you[3:51:30] I've learned[3:51:32] Because of her right[3:51:34] So it's 300 Cash I Brielle and we[3:51:36] Throw around this all the time and it's almost a[3:51:38] Gag here I don't know if we've ever said this but it's[3:51:40] Almost a running[3:51:42] I'm the show like he asked for the[3:51:44] Fucking money oh shit he's[3:51:46] Thinking about that I posted so[3:51:48] I thought this was cute nothing[3:51:50] More than cute right[3:51:52] So I post this in the[3:51:54] Bringback group you know and I wasn't thinking[3:51:58] So here's Rich Fassett he sees me here's[3:52:00] Me on the show offering $300[3:52:02] He texts me and says[3:52:04] You know can I get the $300 and then I[3:52:06] Screenshot that and put it in the bringback[3:52:08] But in a lighthearted manner[3:52:10] Because I was like oh my god that guy[3:52:12] From Killtony heard the show isn't this[3:52:14] Funny not even thinking about the 300[3:52:16] Part I mean it was a part of it but it was a[3:52:18] Part of it but it wasn't like I[3:52:20] Would have posted the screenshot of our message[3:52:22] Just to show that he heard it[3:52:24] And confirmed that's the most exciting part[3:52:26] Of a red bar is that the stuff[3:52:28] That we're all talking about they heard it[3:52:30] Right we celebrate[3:52:32] That here we don't go oh I don't care if they[3:52:34] No no no that's the purpose[3:52:36] It's very fun[3:52:38] So he heard it and I posted it and I posted the screenshot[3:52:40] So[3:52:42] Okay so he goes there's a 300 Cash App[3:52:44] Thing real or fake Tuesday[3:52:46] 941 I get back to the man[3:52:48] And I say[3:52:50] Ah oh and I[3:52:52] Reply to I paid the look at this[3:52:54] So I'm replying I like to[3:52:56] I'm really thorough and nice in messages[3:52:58] If I've missed a bunch of your[3:53:00] Text I go back I do the reply[3:53:02] To text to[3:53:04] You and if not I'll[3:53:06] Give you a ha ha a love or like[3:53:08] Because I feel you typed out something[3:53:10] To me it shouldn't go[3:53:12] Unread[3:53:14] If someone writes something to you you read[3:53:16] It you show them you read[3:53:18] It it's just nice[3:53:20] So that's what I did I'm replying[3:53:22] He goes I paid the $11 membership I go[3:53:24] Ah I was gonna say I'll give you a free membership[3:53:26] To watch no need to pay[3:53:28] But you gotta take that trash[3:53:30] Ass clip down ha ha we can't be[3:53:32] Record so this is something different[3:53:34] He posted[3:53:36] His segment[3:53:38] From Redbar[3:53:40] On YouTube[3:53:42] So he's[3:53:44] Fucking a clipper now[3:53:46] And guess how he did it he like recorded[3:53:48] The screen with his phone[3:53:50] Giving away like my 22 minute[3:53:52] Beautiful segment on him[3:53:54] Which was the Scars Club episode[3:53:56] Which maybe we would allow it but the[3:53:58] Phone thing but the phone and[3:54:00] Again this really doesn't even have anything[3:54:02] To do that's an aside[3:54:04] But this just[3:54:06] Is funny but maybe it contributed[3:54:08] Maybe it did I said take[3:54:10] You know take that trash[3:54:12] Ass clip down we can't be recorded[3:54:14] Off the damn TV like that[3:54:16] Which I guess maybe is a little harsh[3:54:18] And what did I say about I guess but this[3:54:20] Is how we talk to these ass I mean I[3:54:22] Know that he's an asshole already[3:54:24] It's not like I'm talking to[3:54:26] Somebody good okay I already[3:54:28] Know he's an asshole by the way at this[3:54:30] Point and an idiot and a clown[3:54:32] But he's an asshole idiot clown[3:54:34] Friend and that's as[3:54:36] Polite as I get with those people[3:54:38] So[3:54:40] He writes back and by the way[3:54:42] I'm doing this while I'm like driving[3:54:44] A plane you know what I mean I'm not[3:54:46] I don't even remember this fucking shit[3:54:48] Happening so he goes okay I'll[3:54:50] Take it down now okay[3:54:52] And then I reply[3:54:54] To his main question is the[3:54:56] 300 cash app real[3:54:58] And I don't know why he's calling it cash[3:55:00] App I guess these people live on oh[3:55:02] Am I gonna get a cash app credit[3:55:04] I don't know what the fuck I don't have cash app[3:55:06] I would never support[3:55:08] The guy from Twitter's company[3:55:10] Where he funnels my money back[3:55:12] Sorry you hate the guy[3:55:14] From Twitter but you let him exchange[3:55:16] Money with you as the middle[3:55:18] Man no[3:55:20] So isn't that something[3:55:22] These people use the services[3:55:24] Of the guys they that would be like if I use[3:55:26] Lost any bank[3:55:28] Are you fucking crazy[3:55:30] So[3:55:32] This thing gets crazy here's where it gets crazy[3:55:34] Here's where it gets[3:55:36] Crazy and you're gonna start loving this[3:55:38] I just I don't want to spoil someone for like[3:55:40] So[3:55:42] I reply to that part right[3:55:44] And[3:55:46] This is where I guess if I were him I could[3:55:48] See from his side this is where it sounds like maybe[3:55:50] I'm messing with him but I'm not[3:55:52] I want everyone to know I am[3:55:54] At this point[3:55:56] And at no point[3:55:58] Am I messing with him[3:56:00] I mean this is the guy that got to Tony why wouldn't we like him[3:56:02] And I want to rephrase this so[3:56:04] I saw this guy get on Kill Tony[3:56:06] Make fun of Tony[3:56:08] I played his story on the show[3:56:10] And I said I loved him[3:56:12] And I'm gonna give him $300[3:56:14] All of that is real[3:56:16] So he says[3:56:18] Is that $300 real and I go oh boy[3:56:20] But you know and I'm thinking in my head[3:56:22] He's a loser but[3:56:24] It's still the $300 is his[3:56:26] You said you would do it[3:56:28] Yes and my word is my honor I mean you saw what I said[3:56:30] About Shizos Akidami today[3:56:32] Our Japanese Prime Minister I mean my honor is just as good as his[3:56:34] So I say[3:56:36] And yes if you video call[3:56:38] In the next show we can present you with your check[3:56:40] Let me know[3:56:42] Now I guess that does sound[3:56:44] I mean present you with your check[3:56:46] You know to do all this stuff[3:56:48] And I guess it does sound[3:56:50] Silly[3:56:52] But you know at Red Bar[3:56:54] That's how we would want to do it[3:56:56] Like there's no fun in me just giving him $300[3:56:58] And then going so I gave that guy $300[3:57:00] No let's bring him on[3:57:02] Present him you know when[3:57:04] They present some Columbia[3:57:06] Prize winner at their door[3:57:08] They knock on their door with the big fucking[3:57:10] Air balloon they come down in a hot air balloon[3:57:12] They have money and gifts for the black kids[3:57:14] They don't not film it[3:57:16] It's you know we want everyone[3:57:18] To see this moment it makes sense[3:57:20] But I can see why now[3:57:22] It's sounding yes of course I can see why[3:57:24] That's sounding like a setup[3:57:26] He says yeah when's the[3:57:28] Next show and how do I call[3:57:30] In and I say[3:57:32] Oh do you have zoom or something similar[3:57:34] And now at this point I'm[3:57:36] Turning new jewels and going oh you know[3:57:38] I don't have anything set up to do a call in[3:57:40] Like we really don't we don't do calls on the[3:57:42] Show and I don't talk to anybody so I never built[3:57:44] In a way to do that[3:57:46] And you might go just load up Skype well these computers[3:57:48] Aren't hooked up to the cameras or anything so it[3:57:50] Wouldn't work you know what I mean[3:57:52] It's a setup it's a big setup for this[3:57:54] Type of thing so I'm trying to figure[3:57:56] Out how do we just do zoom[3:57:58] But we were about to spend our whole day figuring this out[3:58:00] But we were about to spend our whole[3:58:02] Day doing that and that's[3:58:04] Why I didn't have like an immediate[3:58:06] Answer to this guy[3:58:08] But I say yeah video calling[3:58:10] He goes yeah when's the next show I go do you have zoom or something[3:58:12] Similar and he says[3:58:14] I'm gonna drag this motherfucker[3:58:16] Yes I have zoom[3:58:18] Yes I have zoom[3:58:20] And then another day goes[3:58:22] By again[3:58:24] I swear to god my Facebook it's like[3:58:26] A hundred of these messages[3:58:28] I can't like[3:58:30] And I'm out doing all this stuff[3:58:32] So it's just it's so[3:58:34] Weird to me and this is a good[3:58:36] Part of the story and this is a good point[3:58:38] There are some people in[3:58:40] Existence out there who don't like[3:58:42] Get it[3:58:44] And if you don't text them back right away[3:58:46] Their mind starts fucking[3:58:48] Wandering[3:58:50] And worrying[3:58:52] Drew Michael, comedian Drew Michael you can cut to me[3:58:54] Drew Michael is a perfect example of this[3:58:56] Comedian Drew Michael and he famously[3:58:58] Said this in his comedy bits so that's why it's[3:59:00] Okay to expose he's Jewish[3:59:02] Drew Michael would do[3:59:04] This thing where like he would text a girl[3:59:06] And then if they didn't text back[3:59:08] Right away he'd start[3:59:10] Fucking pacing he'd start thinking of[3:59:12] Conspiracies dreaming up conspiracies[3:59:14] Fantasies about[3:59:16] Oh they're blowing me off and he would[3:59:18] Get worked up he would find it[3:59:20] Disrespectful believe it or not[3:59:22] There are many people out there that[3:59:24] Suffer from this it's not me[3:59:26] It's not her and many of you[3:59:28] Don't suffer obviously but um[3:59:30] There are people like[3:59:32] This out there and[3:59:34] I think[3:59:36] Rich Fancet my new[3:59:38] Enemy the guy who might[3:59:40] Be responsible if[3:59:42] I'm found dead[3:59:44] And you want to know[3:59:46] Something he does have a similar[3:59:48] Facial hair pattern to[3:59:50] Drew like how I always say guys[3:59:52] Who act the same physiology[3:59:54] That we learned from Dasha and Anna this week and there's[3:59:56] A term called physiology[3:59:58] Physionomy and[4:00:00] It's about if they look the same they[4:00:02] Is the same and I've been saying that[4:00:04] For years so Dasha you actually stole my[4:00:06] Fucking content from the pope[4:00:08] We all saw the pope tweets[4:00:10] Don't make me[4:00:12] Show the jewel video to the[4:00:14] People who saw the pope tweets[4:00:16] Okay if I show[4:00:18] Your jewel video[4:00:20] To the people who saw your pope[4:00:22] Tweets[4:00:24] Avalanche and you're close to falling off[4:00:26] That edge so[4:00:28] Yeah the zoom thing so[4:00:30] I consider you could go back to the TV[4:00:32] I consider that this guy[4:00:34] Is one of those guys and again the way[4:00:36] I've talked to him thus far[4:00:38] He might think this is one of[4:00:40] Mike David's setups[4:00:42] So here's[4:00:44] Where it gets fucking[4:00:46] Nuts alright is everyone paying attention[4:00:48] Here's where it gets nuts[4:00:50] 4.20 pm[4:00:52] The next day[4:00:56] Hey man[4:00:58] I know you're playing me[4:01:00] But thanks for the exposure[4:01:02] I guess[4:01:04] You seem genuine but you're fucking[4:01:06] Absolutely heartless[4:01:08] Cue up the laughing emojis[4:01:10] From all you're following[4:01:12] AHHHHHH[4:01:14] Cut to me[4:01:18] It's cause I put on aftershave and I was too young[4:01:20] You see[4:01:22] What did we do?[4:01:24] So I'm sitting here this comes in[4:01:26] And I go I instantly[4:01:28] Well actually you didn't see this right away[4:01:30] Remember?[4:01:32] Sure I saw the next one right away[4:01:34] And now you're under[4:01:36] Shut up shut up although you could be involved in this[4:01:38] So I saw that[4:01:40] Right and[4:01:42] I instantly knew[4:01:44] Oh my god this is what happened[4:01:46] I sounded[4:01:48] Kinda sketch[4:01:50] I'm known for my gags and outlandish[4:01:52] Stunts[4:01:54] And he[4:01:56] Most likely thinks I'm lying about the[4:01:58] 300 because offering the 300[4:02:00] Sounds crazy right it sounds like a lie[4:02:02] So[4:02:04] And then he says you're heartless right[4:02:06] He says you seemed[4:02:08] Genuine which means I was[4:02:10] Genuine[4:02:12] But you're fucking absolutely[4:02:14] Heartless so what he's implying[4:02:16] Is that I was joking[4:02:18] And I'm like yeah what's your[4:02:20] Zoom and then we're all gonna get a good laugh[4:02:22] Because I posted the screenshot[4:02:24] Of his earlier conversation[4:02:26] Cut to me this is a classic[4:02:28] Misunderstanding[4:02:30] Now I could prove it right here[4:02:32] We had every[4:02:34] Yep we had every intention[4:02:36] Of giving you[4:02:38] Your keep[4:02:40] We had this is no joke[4:02:42] Now don't let the date fool you[4:02:44] We had this novelty[4:02:46] Oversized[4:02:48] Columbia prizes check[4:02:50] We had it ready[4:02:52] For you[4:02:55] Yes exactly[4:02:57] I don't just have a roll of these[4:02:59] And we were gonna present[4:03:01] You were gonna come on all you had to do[4:03:03] Was wait seven more hours[4:03:05] But instead you paced[4:03:07] Around like a bitch[4:03:09] Thinking and imagining your fantasies[4:03:11] And I don't know maybe somebody told you[4:03:13] Oh he's lying[4:03:15] Either way[4:03:17] You and here's the worst part[4:03:19] And you're not getting the money[4:03:21] Here's the worst part[4:03:24] You called me heartless[4:03:26] For not giving you the[4:03:28] 300 bonus bucks[4:03:31] That I drunkenly[4:03:34] Jokingly[4:03:36] Offered[4:03:38] Okay you fucking idiot[4:03:40] So you're sitting around[4:03:42] Having an emotional back and forth[4:03:45] With yourself[4:03:47] Over being made to look like a fool[4:03:50] Over being made to look like a fool[4:03:53] Over your three[4:03:55] And none of that even happened as you can see[4:03:57] The only reason we thought it would be funny[4:03:59] To have him on is because we think giant[4:04:01] Checks are funny[4:04:03] Literally that's it[4:04:05] And literally like me presenting you with the check[4:04:07] Would have been funny[4:04:09] And for $300 that's[4:04:11] A cheap laugh[4:04:14] Okay[4:04:16] Over here[4:04:18] And we didn't even buy it[4:04:20] We made this yourself out of an old box[4:04:22] So look how much work we put in[4:04:24] The checks that I ordered were pretty thin[4:04:26] Expectedly[4:04:28] Tape it[4:04:30] I did it this morning[4:04:32] You were wrong and this isn't over[4:04:34] Because I told you earlier[4:04:40] Are you okay?[4:04:42] Rich facet[4:04:44] This alone[4:04:46] We put him on this detective board[4:04:48] Oh there's more[4:04:50] Google it, detective board that's what this is[4:04:52] This is authentic obviously[4:04:54] We've been working on it for months[4:04:56] And it's been organically growing as you can see[4:04:58] The aging[4:05:00] Of all the paper and it doesn't look like it was all done[4:05:02] Last night[4:05:04] At 1130[4:05:06] After I went to Walmart to get all the stuff[4:05:08] For it[4:05:10] So[4:05:12] As you can see we've been building[4:05:14] This board organically for a long time[4:05:16] Because this is a[4:05:18] Project we're working on to discover[4:05:20] Who kills Mike[4:05:22] Now[4:05:24] Why is rich facet[4:05:26] On here and of course it says rich facet[4:05:28] What will he do for the money[4:05:30] Dangerous[4:05:32] Is he dangerous and he has look at the[4:05:34] Look at the picture and cut to this other[4:05:36] Ow! There's pins sticking[4:05:38] Out the back[4:05:40] When I went to his Facebook to try to find a[4:05:42] Picture of him for this I was like[4:05:44] When I saw that picture it's so scary[4:05:46] He looks like Eminem[4:05:48] Yes! Who's deadly on the mic[4:05:50] Which is me[4:05:52] So[4:05:54] Hold on I don't want to ruin that because that is getting[4:05:56] Framed by the way and hung up here[4:05:58] Is a piece of fucking art that we made[4:06:00] Last night[4:06:02] And we came up with the idea[4:06:04] So here's[4:06:06] Where it gets bad let me get this giant check[4:06:08] That you're never fucking getting[4:06:11] And I have a plan for that too[4:06:13] Just so you know that I am[4:06:15] Not cheap and not[4:06:17] Jewing nobody ought to know Jewing[4:06:19] You'll see[4:06:21] You will fucking see[4:06:23] Um here's where things get[4:06:25] Really dark so of course[4:06:27] That's not enough to add yourself[4:06:29] You saw that board it was[4:06:31] Serious murderers only right[4:06:33] Yes There was no[4:06:35] Even Josh Denny didn't make it[4:06:37] To the board because he doesn't have enough money[4:06:39] To pull anything off[4:06:41] He's been grossed off the list[4:06:43] Yes so yeah exactly[4:06:45] This is a serious board and I wouldn't just throw him on here[4:06:47] It's not a joke[4:06:49] So here we go here's why[4:06:51] He's on the board and[4:06:53] I'm really worried that he could be[4:06:55] The death of me[4:06:59] 8.45 pm comes in[4:07:01] Now remember at[4:07:03] 4.20[4:07:05] He writes me and he says that[4:07:07] You seem genuine but you're fucking[4:07:09] Absolutely heartless[4:07:11] Cue up the laughing emoji and this was at 4.20[4:07:13] Now another four hours goes by[4:07:15] I haven't even read this one[4:07:17] Another four hours goes by[4:07:19] He can't resist[4:07:21] He can't wait and he says this[4:07:23] I hope Tripoli[4:07:25] Finds you and guts you[4:07:27] Like a pig[4:07:29] You unsuccessful hack[4:07:31] Who couldn't cut it as a comic[4:07:33] Because you're a miserable[4:07:35] Fuck[4:07:37] Go hide in your basement[4:07:39] In Chushan[4:07:41] They gonna find you bitch[4:07:49] So naturally[4:07:53] You are now and the cops have[4:07:55] Copies and we made the exact[4:07:57] Same board for everybody[4:07:59] Okay look under your chairs everybody[4:08:01] Everyone's going home with one of these boards[4:08:04] We made six of these okay[4:08:08] Alright[4:08:10] And the cops have one[4:08:12] We have one[4:08:14] If anything happens to me[4:08:16] Anybody listen to this this is true[4:08:18] If anything happens to me[4:08:20] It was someone on this board[4:08:22] Cops looking at these guys[4:08:24] We did the leg work[4:08:26] Yes you barely have to do anything[4:08:28] That's fucking nuts I want to read the chat here[4:08:30] And I'm zoomed out[4:08:32] I want to see how they're responding to this[4:08:34] Okay wow good[4:08:36] Can we talk about how fucking[4:08:38] Insane that is?[4:08:40] You can cut to me[4:08:42] Can we really talk about how insane this is[4:08:44] Somebody actually wants to kill me Sam AAA[4:08:46] This isn't a joke or a bit[4:08:48] Nobody's joking and everybody knows it[4:08:50] This guy[4:08:52] Because in his mind[4:08:54] Thought that I was standing him up[4:08:56] Because I didn't message him[4:08:58] Seven hours earlier than maybe I should have[4:09:00] He's been a wonderful[4:09:02] Amazing person to him[4:09:04] If only I would have replied sooner[4:09:06] To let his worrying ass know[4:09:08] That it's not a setup[4:09:10] But let's pretend it was a setup[4:09:12] Let's pretend[4:09:14] I did a hilarious college style joke[4:09:16] Where I got his hopes up and crashed them[4:09:18] To pieces like Willy Wonka[4:09:20] And I didn't give him his three hundred[4:09:22] That he didn't earn[4:09:24] And it was just a fucking joke[4:09:26] Let's pretend[4:09:28] I didn't look for this remember[4:09:30] I didn't commission him to do any of this[4:09:32] Total stranger that I just said[4:09:34] Would you like three hundred dollars[4:09:36] Let's pretend I did do that as a joke[4:09:38] Now you want[4:09:40] This guy to come kill me[4:09:42] And gut me like[4:09:44] I mean we really gotta read that again[4:09:46] Really like you have to see[4:09:48] What this guy said like how is this[4:09:50] Something you say[4:09:52] Over not being like[4:09:54] Perfectly sure that maybe some guy[4:09:56] Isn't gonna give you a prize[4:09:58] And it's the weekend[4:10:00] I hope Tripoli I mean[4:10:02] This would be like[4:10:04] This was fourth of July weekend[4:10:06] And this would be like messaging Best Buy[4:10:08] Because you saw like a duplicate charge[4:10:10] On your credit card and being like[4:10:12] Hey the Best Buy chat[4:10:14] Hey I saw a duplicate charge[4:10:16] Oh we're so sorry we'll look into that right away[4:10:18] And then four hours goes by and you haven't heard back[4:10:20] And you're like you are fucked[4:10:22] I'm coming to kill[4:10:24] You have to wait a second[4:10:26] You like pulled the trigger way too early[4:10:28] And now how[4:10:30] Embarrassing[4:10:32] But look at these words guys[4:10:34] I hope Tripoli finds you[4:10:36] And guts you like a pig[4:10:40] You want me dead[4:10:42] You[4:10:44] Unsuccessful[4:10:46] Remember he went from loving what we did[4:10:48] To unsuccessful heck who couldn't[4:10:50] Cut it as a comic[4:10:52] Which I don't know how to[4:10:54] No no no we'll leave that[4:10:56] And also if he was just like a naturally violent guy[4:10:58] Then he would have sent this message[4:11:00] At first[4:11:02] Yes what we're experiencing here[4:11:04] Is the build up[4:11:06] And this is why I started with that story[4:11:08] Of Drew Michael texting girls[4:11:10] With a story about the impatient man[4:11:12] What we're experiencing here[4:11:14] Is a pacing build up[4:11:16] Where he is creating[4:11:18] This nightmare in his head[4:11:20] Unbeknownst to me[4:11:22] And if you could see a split screen[4:11:24] Of what actually went down[4:11:26] I mean it would be[4:11:28] Pure fucking gold[4:11:30] It would be the best thing[4:11:32] Second to what I just did[4:11:34] It would be that great[4:11:36] So[4:11:38] Go hide in your basement in Tucson[4:11:40] They're gonna find you bitch[4:11:42] Would you ever dream of saying this to somebody[4:11:44] I wouldn't say this to my worst enemy[4:11:46] Let alone some guy[4:11:48] May or may not know if he's giving me this prize[4:11:52] Like it's really harsh[4:11:54] And did we even give any[4:11:56] I guess other than your Facebook post[4:11:58] Which maybe could have been taken the wrong way[4:12:00] But we swear was lighthearted[4:12:02] I mean you saw the check[4:12:04] But our whole segment about him[4:12:06] Was extremely nice[4:12:08] Anybody who matches with me[4:12:10] And my family is gonna end up on the board[4:12:12] And trust me we could just[4:12:14] Get another board that goes on the side[4:12:16] Don't think because we're running out of space[4:12:18] I mean most of these pictures are[4:12:20] Placeholders[4:12:22] For the new guys[4:12:24] And don't think just because we're running out of[4:12:26] Quirk space[4:12:28] That you're not gonna get on the board[4:12:30] If you threaten me you're getting on the fucking board[4:12:32] Okay[4:12:34] And we actually[4:12:36] Want more threats[4:12:38] I guess because this is well worth it[4:12:40] I don't know what to tell you[4:12:42] You guys are losers[4:12:44] And now you're part of my bit[4:12:46] So that's cool[4:12:48] Did you guys know that[4:12:50] Sam Tripoli has a tattoo[4:12:52] From his wrist to his inner elbow[4:12:54] That says first amendment[4:12:56] First amendment[4:12:58] Sam Tripoli has tattooed on his arm[4:13:00] That's why[4:13:02] Maybe pull up the picture[4:13:04] Sam Tripoli, this is true[4:13:06] Has the phrase[4:13:08] First amendment tattooed on his arm[4:13:10] And he's coming after me because[4:13:12] I made a joke song about him and his family[4:13:14] And he's doing the same thing[4:13:16] Denny and Chrissy do now[4:13:18] Where they go around and now the story is[4:13:20] He talks about[4:13:22] Raping my kids, wanting to rape my kids[4:13:24] He's a pedophile[4:13:26] Who wants to rape my kids instead of saying[4:13:28] Well he sang a song to test[4:13:30] My free speech ability[4:13:32] And there was lines[4:13:34] About kissing my kids[4:13:36] They fail to mention[4:13:38] That it was a joke[4:13:40] A joke song[4:13:42] You see, they just tell people[4:13:44] Oh yeah, he talks about raping my kids[4:13:46] As if it's like a real[4:13:48] Thing that this rapist crazy[4:13:50] Guy is doing[4:13:52] So we'll show you first amendment[4:13:54] And isn't it funny[4:13:56] How the first amendment[4:13:58] Man is the[4:14:00] Only person in my entire[4:14:02] Career history who has tried[4:14:04] To kill me over making fun[4:14:06] Of him[4:14:08] I think that's completely crazy[4:14:10] So here it is, first amendment[4:14:12] And he got that, he showed that up[4:14:14] He was humiliated[4:14:16] And tortured by the internet[4:14:18] I mean it's not only an awful tattoo[4:14:20] You know they tried to fill it in[4:14:22] But they ran out of ink[4:14:24] So they did a little[4:14:26] It looks so bad[4:14:28] Here's a tip[4:14:30] Let me tell you what this idiot did[4:14:32] He got it outlined[4:14:34] So it says first amendment in old English font[4:14:36] Which I'm sure they'd love[4:14:38] They love Mexican font[4:14:40] So first amendment[4:14:42] And instead of filling it in[4:14:44] All black, the fill color[4:14:46] Is gray[4:14:48] This is like getting a tattoo[4:14:50] Of red ink on your face[4:14:52] And then everyone goes[4:14:54] Is this zits or scabs or scars[4:14:56] Or scratches[4:14:58] So he got a tattoo[4:15:00] That actually looks like a bad[4:15:02] Age tattoo[4:15:04] Not realizing because he's so stupid[4:15:06] So he got this tattoo[4:15:08] It's really bad, it's first amendment[4:15:10] And he thought people were going to honor him[4:15:12] And carry him out like Teen Wolf[4:15:14] They all hated it and made fun of him[4:15:16] He's got a lot of trauma[4:15:18] Publicly made fun of by large groups[4:15:20] Of people[4:15:22] Kissing the old lady, huge trauma[4:15:24] Me dunking on him[4:15:26] Giant trauma for him[4:15:28] This first amendment[4:15:30] He's gone through a lot of public comedy traumas[4:15:32] And that's why he's almost[4:15:34] Taking out all his hatred[4:15:36] On all of his failure onto me[4:15:38] He's going to kill me[4:15:40] His failure, the person that[4:15:42] You see[4:15:44] So there's one more[4:15:46] Piece of business to take care of[4:15:48] This $300 check[4:15:50] Was going to go to Rich Bassett[4:15:52] He didn't believe it, right?[4:15:54] If we don't give away the money, people are going to accuse us[4:15:56] Of all kinds of Jew shit[4:16:02] There's a couple things coming up here[4:16:04] If I could just find my[4:16:06] Permanent marker[4:16:08] It's okay[4:16:10] I think this will work[4:16:12] I can throw you[4:16:14] Oh, I found it[4:16:16] I'm going to do a couple things here[4:16:20] To prove to Rich Bassett[4:16:22] That he just gave up[4:16:24] 300 fucking pounds[4:16:26] I mean, what is stupider at the end of this[4:16:28] Than to see this, so[4:16:30] Fuck this[4:17:00] Just making some modifications to my check[4:17:16] Authorize this with my bank[4:17:18] And I'm drafting an email[4:17:22] Hey[4:17:26] Hey blah blah blah[4:17:28] Hey blah blah blah[4:17:30] Hey blank[4:17:32] I[4:17:34] Was gonna[4:17:36] Give $300[4:17:38] To Rich[4:17:40] Bassett[4:17:42] Oops[4:17:44] Rich Bassett, come on[4:17:46] Rich Bassett[4:17:48] Hey blank, I was going to give $300[4:17:50] To Rich Bassett[4:17:52] But he assumed[4:17:54] I was kidding[4:17:58] And flipped out at me[4:18:00] And flipped out[4:18:02] And threatened us[4:18:06] He's nuts[4:18:10] So[4:18:12] To get back at him[4:18:14] And to prove[4:18:18] I'm not[4:18:20] Cheap in quotes[4:18:22] No, maybe you should just say[4:18:24] We wanted, now we have an extra[4:18:26] 300, we wanted to give it to you[4:18:28] Okay[4:18:30] Just keep it simple[4:18:32] Now, so[4:18:34] Now we have an[4:18:36] Extra[4:18:38] 300[4:18:40] And want to give it[4:18:44] To you[4:18:46] Let me know[4:18:48] How I can send it[4:18:50] Now, this email was drafted[4:18:52] Live on air[4:18:54] Thousands of witnesses[4:18:56] I'm going to turn this around[4:18:58] See, it's a real email that I'm about to send[4:19:02] And I'm sorry Rich[4:19:04] But we are giving[4:19:06] The money to Brian Redban[4:19:08] The man, the very man[4:19:10] Who edited[4:19:12] You out[4:19:14] He was right[4:19:16] And you've disgraced[4:19:18] Everything that we've all[4:19:20] Worked for in comedy[4:19:22] And I hereby[4:19:24] Banished you[4:19:26] Change it[4:19:28] I banish you from comedy[4:19:30] Along with Redban and Tony[4:19:32] Leaders of the other[4:19:34] Realms[4:19:36] You're fucking done, email's going to Redban[4:19:38] Right now, look at this[4:19:40] Brian Redban and I'm replying to him[4:19:42] Saying, sorry bro[4:19:44] You're a joke, don't mess with Redbar[4:19:46] You're on our list, alright we'll take a quick little[4:19:48] Break, and then we[4:19:50] Will return with much more[4:19:52] On Redba[4:19:54] Isn't this fun? Sorry Rich[4:19:56] You fucking bitch, Rich[4:19:58] Hold on, I closed Spotify[4:20:00] Here, I got it, I got it, I got it[4:20:02] Rich, you're getting nothing, okay, hit it[4:20:04] And we'll see you soon, goodbye[4:20:06] It's Julian's Macbook, see you don't got it yet[4:20:10] We'll see you soon[4:20:20] I showed up to the party in my favorite coat[4:20:36] On the back was an image of a shrimp on a boat[4:20:40] When you saw what I was wearing you got real upset[4:20:44] And said, that's the jacket that I got from my grandma[4:20:48] Oh well, I promise I ain't seen you before[4:20:52] And maybe your grandma had bought a couple more[4:20:56] And maybe I helped her at the grocery store[4:21:00] And she gave it to me as a gift[4:21:02] So quit bitching, motherfucker[4:21:19] I went out on the porch to light a cigarette[4:21:23] I had six or seven lighters in my left pocket[4:21:27] I took out the one that said Shrimp City Beach 1993[4:21:32] And you told me that's where you had your birthday party[4:21:36] And that the lighters were given as gifts[4:21:39] But I was there too[4:21:41] Just dipping my toes down on the beach, ma'am[4:21:44] And I had that lighter specifically made for me, motherfucker[4:21:49] I ain't no thief[4:21:53] I ain't no thief[4:21:56] I said I ain't no thief[4:22:04] I ain't no thief[4:22:08] I ain't no thief[4:22:11] I said I ain't no thief[4:22:15] But you got the same stuff[4:22:18] We just got the same stuff[4:22:25] I said I ain't no thief[4:22:28] We got the same stuff, man[4:22:31] I ain't no thief[4:22:33] We just happen to have the same stuff, motherfucker[4:22:39] Ooh[4:22:41] I ain't no thief[4:22:44] I ain't no thief[4:22:50] Coming back[4:22:53] We are coming back[4:23:02] Hold on[4:23:04] I said I ain't no thief[4:23:09] I ain't no thief[4:23:12] I said I ain't no thief[4:23:16] I ain't no thief[4:23:18] We just happen to have the same stuff, motherfucker[4:23:22] I ain't no thief[4:23:24] To Red Bar, the show that goes anywhere and does just about anything[4:23:29] Very exciting stuff still to come[4:23:32] New music from the Viagra boys[4:23:35] Isn't that right?[4:23:38] People like this[4:23:40] They're being fooled[4:23:41] It's the new Rub the Jewels[4:23:43] Novelty music for the soulless[4:23:47] Novelty music for the soulless, I say[4:23:49] You love them[4:23:50] Sam Roberts[4:23:52] Do you know him? From Jim and Sam[4:23:55] And Sam Roberts, to me, I don't like him[4:23:58] And it seems like he does a super chat show[4:24:01] Is he another guy who super chats?[4:24:03] Every time I tune in to the show[4:24:06] It's him reading his chat going[4:24:08] Oh, what do you think about Anthony? Oh, okay[4:24:11] He's just reading questions[4:24:13] This is a Q&A[4:24:15] And this is about the seventh time that we've been brought up[4:24:19] By Sam Roberts, sorry[4:24:21] Getting a little light headed[4:24:23] You wanna have a[4:24:24] I was wearing an ink head, then I'll show you what Sam Roberts said[4:24:27] Furthermore, I don't like the way he's talking about me, I'll tell you that[4:24:31] I don't like it[4:24:33] Wait, I just remembered that there was actually more messages from Rich Bassett that came after that one[4:24:39] Yeah, maybe we'll save those for another time[4:24:41] You can post them on the Bring Back Group[4:24:43] Yeah, for extra special Rich Bassett content, tune in for Red Moore[4:24:48] It was a light anti-climatic follow up that you can see later[4:24:52] Yeah, you'll see it[4:24:53] Because I basically told him to go, no, no, you're totally wrong, but this rules[4:24:56] And then he embarrassingly replied[4:24:58] Yeah, and then he said some bull[4:25:01] He was like, oh yeah, well send the cash up to 6969 suck my dick[4:25:06] Seriously, that's like what he did[4:25:07] And then blocked you[4:25:08] And then he blocked me[4:25:09] Yeah, oh yeah, I've been blocked by Rich Bassett, my killer[4:25:12] I hope you get gut like a fish for not getting 300[4:25:16] And you were getting 300, that's the craziest part[4:25:19] You were about to get it[4:25:20] I did absolutely nothing, I feel like this happens to me a lot where I do absolutely almost nothing wrong[4:25:26] And then I get caught up with these guys[4:25:28] Or you're like, once in a while you're like, maybe I'll just do a nice thing for this guy, we'll have him on[4:25:35] Yeah[4:25:36] And we're always trying to show people we're nice[4:25:38] You know where this is coming, my big one's coming, Ashley Cummings, that'll be the death of me[4:25:44] Trust me[4:25:45] Anybody who likes this show at that type of level ends up wanting to gut me like what they said[4:25:55] And that message, they go crazy[4:25:57] So yes, it's terrifying[4:26:00] And again, up until now, and this is a wild prediction, right[4:26:06] Ashley Cummings, I've been nothing but nice to her, right?[4:26:10] Never said boo about me and about Ashley, I love Ashley Cummings[4:26:14] And she loves the show, right?[4:26:16] Just watch, out of nowhere, I'm fucking dead[4:26:21] Someone with the name Ashley Cummings in the chat just said, I come oil[4:26:26] This is what I mean, and that is, believe me, those are three objects that could be the end of me[4:26:31] Alright, let's take Ashley loves her, I know, and the more they love it, the more I'm fucking dead[4:26:36] Yeah[4:26:37] Trust me, I've been here before[4:26:40] Let's do another drink together, and then we'll show you stupid Sam Roberts fucking talking about me[4:26:46] And I don't like how he talks about me, and I don't like his chat show, and I don't like[4:26:49] If he's accepting money to read this chat, I'm not allowing this to happen much longer[4:26:57] Where everybody just takes money from people in their chat because they want to say a line[4:27:03] And then the whole show is you just reading the chat's lines while they pay you[4:27:08] Shouldn't you be paying the chat for all those lines?[4:27:12] And furthermore, can't the chat just do this without you and not pay anybody?[4:27:18] And just, you're all in the chat so you could read the chat[4:27:24] And then he says what you say in the chat, and then you're paying[4:27:27] It's just a convoluted, stupid, this is not a show[4:27:30] It is not a show to charge a number of people to read their comments on a tape[4:27:35] That's not TV[4:27:37] Also, it's less entertaining because then you have to read the ones that were paid[4:27:41] Instead of picking out the ones that you want to read[4:27:44] Exactly, and then the listener's getting nothing because you're just reading things you bought and sold[4:27:50] You're getting negative because they have to pay[4:27:52] That's chat payola[4:27:55] Alright, I'm having a drink to Sam Richards, everybody[4:28:01] Oh, yoki-saro[4:28:04] I kind of look like that Japanese guy[4:28:07] Kinda[4:28:10] Couldn't I pull off Japanese if I wore a suit and said, oh yes[4:28:14] Don't I look Japanese to a lot of people?[4:28:16] If somebody asks me what my ethnicity is, I'm going to go Japanese[4:28:21] Why?[4:28:22] And then I'm going to pull out that bullet I showed you earlier?[4:28:25] Okay, let's see, Sam Roberts is going to do this thing and I don't like this[4:28:28] We'll discover it together, let's see[4:28:32] Oh, I was saying earlier, I hate shows with staffs[4:28:36] Ethan Klein has 12 staff members just so he can sit there and go, it's fucked up[4:28:41] I want everyone to know, there's no staff here, it's Jules and I[4:28:45] And then Cameron, our web developer, he's out in Minneapolis[4:28:48] And he does the website[4:28:50] Docs[4:28:52] Oh my god, I forgot[4:28:56] People can't know what state he's from, am I crazy?[4:29:01] Cameron from America, oh my god[4:29:05] I just said what country he was from[4:29:07] Am I nuts?[4:29:10] Cameron from somewhere in the universe[4:29:12] Is that not doxxing?[4:29:16] He does our website stuff and that's that[4:29:19] But Jules and I do everything else[4:29:23] And I don't know if everybody knows that[4:29:25] You know, because then you see Andrew Schultz, he just throws money at seven other guys[4:29:29] And they do a worse job than just the two of us[4:29:32] So anytime you're, you can't really be comparing RedBard to other shows anymore[4:29:37] You can't be going, oh well they do this, they just[4:29:39] Nobody works here, see?[4:29:41] Nobody fucking works here, it's just as, and that's by design, believe it or not[4:29:45] Hiring people is where everything goes wrong[4:29:48] So what happens is usually people start a show, everybody likes it[4:29:52] And then they go, if they like it, let's chain out and expand[4:29:56] So just like your favorite restaurant, once you get three of them, it's a fucking shithole, right?[4:30:01] It's like anything else, once you start expanding, everything goes bad[4:30:05] And it has to go bad[4:30:07] See, once I hire a staff member, now I've got some shitty staff member[4:30:12] Doing the job that I used to do, he's doing it worse[4:30:16] I hate him, he hates me, and he's eventually gonna quit and share my secrets[4:30:20] And you can't scream at them like you can white[4:30:22] I can't scream at them, so I'm already, and most people don't look at it this way[4:30:27] And I've kind of learned the hard way[4:30:29] Most people look at it as, I wanna start a podcast and I want it to get so big that I have hundreds[4:30:33] You don't[4:30:35] What you actually want is a way to finagle this thing where you get to work enough to be fulfilled[4:30:42] Work enough to make your audience fulfilled[4:30:46] But still have a portion of yourself left for some sort of life[4:30:52] When you start having employees, now you're an employer[4:30:56] Now you're not a man doing a podcast, you are an employer of people[4:31:01] It's an entirely different job[4:31:03] And it's a very stressful and hard, difficult job to do[4:31:07] A job that Ethan Klein, let's say, is not maybe qualified for[4:31:12] Well, I would say maybe Ethan is qualified as a business owner boss[4:31:17] But he's not qualified to also be the host[4:31:20] So there you go[4:31:21] Do you want a host or do you want a guy running a business[4:31:24] I say this all the time when I watch Logan Paul[4:31:27] And all of his content has turned into just bragging about his business endeavors[4:31:32] And I go, how does this benefit the listener?[4:31:35] How does the listener get a better show by you being better at business?[4:31:39] They don't[4:31:40] And that's kind of the world we're living in where everybody's being swindled into[4:31:44] Almost wanting to root on these internet individuals into becoming rich[4:31:51] When it only takes away from you[4:31:57] It's almost like how they say, oh my God, they vote against their interests[4:32:01] This is what the podcast listener is doing[4:32:03] Now this only applies to other podcasts, not Red Bar[4:32:08] So Red Bar, aware of these risks and pitfalls, avoids them at every turn[4:32:14] Red Bar can get rich and the show gets better, you see[4:32:18] Other shows get rich and then what do they do?[4:32:21] Well, they use their money being rich[4:32:24] They go out and they do rich guy stuff that has nothing to do with you[4:32:28] They buy houses, they start families, they go on trips, they go to expensive dinners[4:32:34] And they post that stuff on social media because if they don't include you[4:32:39] Then they really feel guilty[4:32:41] So when Andrew Schultz is posting all those seven course meals[4:32:44] Sure, he's half flexing, but he's also going[4:32:47] I have to kind of include these guys because I'm using their money[4:32:53] It's like when Logan has to share his five million dollar Pokemon card on his app[4:33:00] And it's all getting real crazy and I'm telling you, you want your hosts here and there[4:33:07] Here and on the computer working on being hosts[4:33:11] You don't want your hosts just fucking gallivanting and doing God knows what[4:33:15] And that's what all these people are doing and you're all cheering them on as if it's dope[4:33:20] It is not dope and you will be the one that suffers[4:33:23] So we're talking about...[4:33:25] Sam Roberts[4:33:26] What was I talking about? Oh yes, but we're the only staff[4:33:29] You hire somebody, you put, that's where it all goes bad[4:33:33] And I always say this and this is the best part of this whole point[4:33:36] Is that there is no, imagine if you were a company, right?[4:33:39] And all of a sudden you had a million customers[4:33:42] Which is even under the average of what most of these guys have now[4:33:46] You know, they're talking three million[4:33:48] So imagine you start a company and you all of a sudden have a million customers[4:33:51] You can't really run a business for a million customers by yourself[4:33:57] So that's what some of these people are attempting to do[4:33:59] And that's where their lives are turning into garbage[4:34:02] You can't even run a, you can't have 300,000 customers[4:34:06] And just think you're going to run it yourself[4:34:08] You know, any other business in the past would have hundreds of employees[4:34:13] And now that's what the podcasts are starting to do[4:34:16] That's what they're starting to do and they're convoluting it[4:34:19] And they're making it this giant business enterprise[4:34:24] And all it's doing is making the, it's not like the content's getting better[4:34:29] We're watching every podcast on the planet turn into a giant corp[4:34:34] And get worse at the same time[4:34:36] You're not seeing any of this money going into any of these shows[4:34:41] You're seeing the hosts out to dinner every day on Instagram[4:34:46] And going to hotels every night[4:34:49] So what do they have to bring back to you guys?[4:34:52] The payers at the end of this[4:34:55] So yeah, that's why I say the super chat stuff is bullshit[4:34:58] It's all nonsense[4:35:00] Don't let them normalize this and make you think just because everyone's doing it[4:35:05] That it's something that should be done by anyone[4:35:08] It's not[4:35:09] And Sam Roberts sits there and collects money just reading the chat[4:35:13] How lazy while we blood sweat and tears crawl[4:35:17] Glue and cords[4:35:18] This is Sam, Sam, what's his name?[4:35:22] Roberts[4:35:23] Sam Roberts, look at this asshole[4:35:25] Lazy[4:35:27] Hold on, I'm gonna kick that back[4:35:30] Here he is, as lazy as can be[4:35:33] J.D. Straight Shot says[4:35:36] Is Compound shows better than Red Bar?[4:35:39] I've seen both now and Red Bar's new studio is amazing[4:35:44] I was always a fan of Ant, but that guy has turned into a total creep, Sam[4:35:48] Was Ant always a creep?[4:35:50] I will also say that I like your studio[4:35:53] The reason[4:35:54] So it's just a children's show[4:35:56] Why do you read this show?[4:35:58] You guys tune in for two hours a day to watch him read like this and collect the cash[4:36:03] It's not a show[4:36:05] See, and this is what I think people gotta snap out of[4:36:08] I think people are in these chat rooms and they're talking to people[4:36:11] And they develop this pattern, this tradition where they think[4:36:16] And you really gotta shake yourself out of it sometimes[4:36:19] And go, what am I doing all day here?[4:36:22] What kind of question is this even?[4:36:24] Meanwhile, here I am playing it for you for thousands of dollars[4:36:28] So, but this is the interesting part[4:36:32] We're gonna hear the[4:36:33] Oh no[4:36:34] Oh, is this a whole[4:36:35] Just re-click the link from the thing[4:36:36] There's this new thing on YouTube where you can link to a clip of a video[4:36:40] Which is very cool[4:36:41] Oh[4:36:42] But if you click away from it then it starts playing the whole video[4:36:45] Oh, interesting[4:36:47] J.D. Straight Shot says[4:36:49] Is Compound Show better than Redbar?[4:36:51] Here's the answer, this is what I was getting to[4:36:53] I've seen both now and Redbar's new studio is amazing[4:36:57] I was always a fan of Ant, but that guy has turned into a total creep, Sam[4:37:02] Was Ant always a creep?[4:37:04] I will also say that I like your studio[4:37:07] The reason why[4:37:08] Why?[4:37:09] Is because you do invest in your show[4:37:11] Hot Dog is great[4:37:13] Anthony was a self-confessed creep, I feel like[4:37:16] Yeah, yeah, I mean, I've spent the morning[4:37:19] And by the way, Sam Roberts was Opie and Anthony's intern for years[4:37:22] Oh my god, he's looking at me[4:37:24] Oh my god, he's looking right at us, Vecna[4:37:26] Oh my god[4:37:27] Can somebody whip me up a Vecna[4:37:29] Here, can we make him hang with the veins like this[4:37:32] Eight arms, please, up in the air, blue light, smoke[4:37:37] Red lightning[4:37:38] Dude, you have totally Vecna-sized[4:37:41] Look at that, dude[4:37:44] Jesus, are you getting smarter?[4:37:47] Are you Professor Xavier?[4:37:50] Who showed up in, I'll tell you this, I was not happy[4:37:54] Get to me[4:37:55] Spoiler alert[4:37:56] I was not happy with Doctor Strange[4:37:59] Oh my god[4:38:00] They're making these guys such a-holes[4:38:03] You know, I was watching Doctor Strange, which I loved because of the[4:38:06] Mandel bombs from the first one[4:38:09] All those Mandelbox Mandel bombs that were interchanging[4:38:13] Yeah, that was cool[4:38:14] Mike likes fractals[4:38:16] So the second Doctor Strange, it was clear, this was a COVID exclusive[4:38:20] Where they shot it all in a greenhouse[4:38:23] And it's so silly when they do that because it just becomes a cartoon[4:38:27] And then, of course, but that really is bad[4:38:30] It's not bad just because people say it's bad[4:38:32] They don't know why it's bad, but it is bad[4:38:34] It's not, you know, a movie has to trick you into believing[4:38:38] It's suspending, something about suspension of disbelief or belief[4:38:45] And you break that subconsciously when you do CGI that looks fake[4:38:52] You break it immediately and that makes us suffer in every way[4:38:57] Because then we're broken out of this trance that we've started with the character[4:39:02] And you need a subtle trance, a spell if you will[4:39:06] It is movie magic that must take place for you to enjoy this film[4:39:11] Otherwise, you won't enjoy it and that's why people hate CGI[4:39:15] So we're watching Doctor Strange and here's my main gripe with the movie[4:39:20] And you're not going to hear this on any nerd, what?[4:39:24] I know what you're going to say[4:39:26] No, you don't[4:39:27] Oh, damn[4:39:28] I mean, maybe you do[4:39:29] This was not discussed prior[4:39:32] No nerd shows[4:39:34] You know how there's nerd shows now that talk about Marvel?[4:39:37] When I talk about Marvel, I'm talking about I'm a human being on this planet[4:39:41] And just like I've had to go to school K through 8[4:39:44] I have to watch the Marvel movies[4:39:46] I don't, not any of them[4:39:50] But you just have to[4:39:51] You have to watch them[4:39:54] It's like anything else[4:39:56] So I'm watching this movie and my main gripe with it[4:39:59] That you're not going to see in these fucking nerd movies[4:40:02] Is that they all of a sudden go to a mystical dimension[4:40:07] Which I'm already not a fan of[4:40:09] Because that means people could die[4:40:11] In these other worlds[4:40:14] And they act like it's okay because it's in another world[4:40:17] When it in fact is not[4:40:20] It is the most soulless evil thing you could do[4:40:23] Is to have a multiverse and kill our heroes in the multiverse[4:40:27] And then pretend it's fucking fine[4:40:29] Or bring them back to life because it happened[4:40:31] Once these doors are open[4:40:33] You must conserve every multiversion of you[4:40:36] Is just as important as the main you[4:40:38] Yes[4:40:39] So in this movie, Doctor Strange goes to some fucking convoluted multiverse[4:40:44] And he's met by a panel of really mean guys[4:40:47] Professor X from X-Men rolls out[4:40:49] It's like a hilarious scene where the whole place goes nuts[4:40:52] Some black bits that I've never seen before[4:40:55] You got the guy from the office, Jim, as Fantastic Four's[4:41:00] Stretcher[4:41:01] Long arms[4:41:03] Whatever his name is[4:41:04] And then who else was there?[4:41:05] Some black guy with dreads[4:41:07] No, the guy who had the electricity with his mouth[4:41:10] Yup[4:41:11] And a guy with an electricity mouth that nobody's ever heard of[4:41:13] The Captain America Britain lady[4:41:15] And no one's heard of them except for the fucking Fantastic Four guy with the arms[4:41:19] And X, Professor X[4:41:21] And they all come in and they start being mean[4:41:24] To Doctor Strange[4:41:25] And I go, I don't understand, why are they being so nasty to him?[4:41:28] Like they cuff him, and this is spoilers, but[4:41:31] Who cares, because this movie is a fucking joke[4:41:34] They cuff him, they're treating him, they're putting him in a glass box[4:41:38] Because he simply dream walked[4:41:41] Now, it's Doctor Strange[4:41:44] And then they like, oh, we uh, you know, we just do this[4:41:48] First of all, you're locking him in a cage[4:41:52] That is traumatic, I'm not making a joke[4:41:55] It's traumatic, here's the thing[4:41:57] These movies are supposed to be fun[4:41:59] You're locking your friend in a glass box[4:42:04] And you're not trusting him[4:42:06] And it's, you're all acting cruel[4:42:08] And it's okay, because it's happening in this multiverse version[4:42:13] Where all of a sudden[4:42:15] When I'm looking at Long Arms Fantastic Four, the long arm leader[4:42:19] I look at him as nice[4:42:21] So to see him be cruel to Strange[4:42:25] I don't know if in the comics they're cruel[4:42:28] I don't want them to be cruel, is my aim point[4:42:30] Everybody who's a hero gets along with a hero[4:42:33] And you only get mad at the villains and there's no mix ups[4:42:35] I don't want any hero accidentally in jail in these films[4:42:39] Stop going after Spider-Man[4:42:42] It's the worst part of these movies is when they go[4:42:44] Spider-Man is actually the bad guy[4:42:46] He's not, and this is annoying[4:42:49] Everybody should bow to these, the men of the movie[4:42:53] And they should get along with each other[4:42:55] And shut the fuck up, stop arresting Batman[4:42:57] It's silly looking even[4:42:59] And then, so what they do to Strange was horrible[4:43:02] They show a flashback[4:43:04] Cause they're like, wait I thought I was honored I died killing Thanos[4:43:08] And I know, I've only seen these movies half asleep[4:43:12] I don't even know I'm retaining all this[4:43:14] It's blowing my mind right now[4:43:17] So they go, oh I thought[4:43:19] Cause they're all being so cruel to Strange[4:43:21] And then Strange goes, oh but I thought I defeated Thanos[4:43:24] Why are you treating me like this?[4:43:25] And they go, actually what really happened is[4:43:28] You, because you fucked around with like the multiverse[4:43:32] We had to put a stop to you so we killed[4:43:34] And then they show a flashback of like[4:43:36] Professor X killing, or that guy who spits[4:43:40] They killed him[4:43:42] And you know, does anyone know what I'm talking about?[4:43:47] I don't need them to be killing anyone[4:43:50] Like even the Avengers when they disappear[4:43:52] I don't care if they're coming back[4:43:54] This is a kids movie[4:43:58] It's like in Stranger Things when they start getting too crazy with the gore[4:44:01] That man, Eddie[4:44:03] Eddie's laying there, we fall in love with Eddie[4:44:05] We think this show is a joke[4:44:07] Then all of a sudden he's getting eaten to death by bats[4:44:10] To the kids at the end[4:44:12] Do you know how scary that is?[4:44:14] I thought that the leg breaking and arm breaking[4:44:16] Yes, there's a girl there like[4:44:18] Oh but she's fine because we fix it later[4:44:20] I'm telling you[4:44:21] It is not fine to put somebody through a year of torture[4:44:24] In a coma in the afterlife[4:44:26] And then uh[4:44:28] Oh but we're bringing them back[4:44:30] So it's okay kids[4:44:32] Kids, fear, I'm telling you[4:44:34] This is[4:44:36] So cut to the TV, look at this[4:44:41] Xavier is how we got here[4:44:43] So I wasn't thrilled with that[4:44:45] And now I look at Professor Xavier[4:44:47] The same way I look at Scott Kahn[4:44:49] Which is like a fucking monster[4:44:51] And I thought Xavier was like the only voice[4:44:53] Or reason we had in this[4:44:55] X universe[4:44:57] Look at this[4:44:59] Back here[4:45:02] Host busters[4:45:04] He's got host busters on his ass too[4:45:06] So okay let's see what Sam[4:45:08] Sam's gonna finally answer the question here[4:45:10] You do invest in your show[4:45:12] Hot dog is great[4:45:14] I don't think Anthony was a self-confessed creep[4:45:16] Who is this black[4:45:18] Yeah I mean I've spent the morning[4:45:20] Who is this raisin[4:45:22] I'm fixing to chase him out of town[4:45:24] No I'm kidding[4:45:26] I didn't expect that[4:45:28] Why do you have a black nerd on your show[4:45:30] That's hot dog[4:45:32] That's who?[4:45:34] His name's hot dog?[4:45:36] He looks like a guy from a show doesn't he[4:45:38] Tim and Eric[4:45:40] Okay let's finally finish this[4:45:42] This is meaningless[4:45:44] Hot dog is great[4:45:46] I don't think Anthony was a self-confessed creep[4:45:48] I feel like[4:45:50] Yeah I mean I've spent[4:45:52] The morning show with him[4:45:54] I took in his stories and he would[4:45:56] Explain what a creep he was for the purpose[4:45:58] You're sitting too low[4:46:00] In terms of compound shows better than[4:46:02] Red bar I don't know[4:46:04] I've seen[4:46:06] Clips I'm not an informed enough[4:46:08] Person[4:46:10] Red bar has a cool studio[4:46:12] He does have a cool studio[4:46:14] He's got the big tv and everything[4:46:16] He's got[4:46:18] The big tv and everything[4:46:20] You think[4:46:22] Does this look like a big tv[4:46:24] To you[4:46:26] This is what you notice[4:46:28] Which tv is he talking about[4:46:30] He's got the big tv[4:46:32] You look at this and you just think[4:46:34] TV[4:46:36] Oh Sam[4:46:38] These are the men that do their[4:46:40] Shows out of their closets[4:46:42] With the[4:46:44] Foam[4:46:46] So have you ever seen the fucking show or are you thinking[4:46:48] Of the old show?[4:46:50] You know Tim Dillon's the same thing[4:46:52] Oh yes I like his sets[4:46:54] He always does good sets[4:46:56] That's what he said[4:46:58] So you're not watching the all new Red bar yet[4:47:00] Alright[4:47:02] Clippers unite[4:47:06] Clippers we must[4:47:08] They need to see the new place[4:47:10] I thought they had all[4:47:12] Looked into this this is embarrassing[4:47:14] They're thinking I'm sitting in front of that old tv[4:47:16] Maybe we should clip your Marvel review[4:47:18] That's pretty popular[4:47:20] We should start sending these clips to these people personally[4:47:22] In the mail after this[4:47:24] Please watch[4:47:26] Your wife at risk[4:47:28] In terms of compound shows[4:47:30] Better than Red bar I don't know[4:47:32] I've seen[4:47:34] Clips[4:47:36] He said clips[4:47:38] Red bar has a cool studio[4:47:40] You know about me Raisinat?[4:47:42] I ate a box of you the other day[4:47:44] And it took me two stores[4:47:46] To find him too you know Walgreens didn't[4:47:48] Have Raisinats[4:47:50] I go miss[4:47:52] I pulled her away from the counter there was a line[4:47:54] Long as a serpent's tail[4:47:56] She was late and people[4:47:58] Were tired[4:48:00] I go miss come here[4:48:02] I can't find the Raisinats[4:48:04] She's walking around the whole store with me[4:48:06] None[4:48:08] I go this place is a disgrace[4:48:12] Hey go try Raisinats again[4:48:14] They're surprisingly[4:48:16] Decent[4:48:18] You know in another good bar[4:48:20] Coming back that people overlook[4:48:22] The crunch bar[4:48:24] Once in a while right? A regular size[4:48:26] Crunch bar Jules? Satisfying[4:48:30] Never be ashamed to try an old[4:48:32] Favorite or maybe a candy you never even[4:48:34] Tried before My favorite is coffee crisp[4:48:36] From Canada I don't like it[4:48:38] I lie That's crazy it's the best one[4:48:40] She gets like a[4:48:42] I'm spitting it out[4:48:44] Hiding it I can't eat candy[4:48:46] From another country by the way and people[4:48:48] Stop bringing me that as a gift[4:48:50] I don't want[4:48:52] Your weirdo[4:48:54] Fucking unfamiliar[4:48:56] Branded food[4:48:58] I don't It's disgusting[4:49:00] When people oh thank you it's a bunch of fucking[4:49:02] Chinese candy oh thank you[4:49:04] Dump right in the fucking trash[4:49:06] Australian candy[4:49:08] I hate it it doesn't[4:49:10] I don't get a kick out of seeing[4:49:12] Oh you do it this way we do it this way[4:49:14] Stick to Nestle[4:49:16] And shut the fuck up[4:49:18] Okay alright let's finish up the stupid[4:49:20] Sam clips I'm not an informed[4:49:22] Enough person[4:49:24] Red bar has a cool studio He does have a[4:49:26] Cool studio That I can't tell you[4:49:28] He does have a cool studio He's got the big TV and[4:49:30] Everything No no no His TV ain't even[4:49:32] Big It's that deep[4:49:34] Chicago voice Excuse me[4:49:38] What did you say about my voice?[4:49:50] Carry on[4:49:52] He does have a cool studio[4:49:54] That I can't tell you He does have a[4:49:56] Cool studio He's got the big TV and everything[4:49:58] He's got a good radio voice too[4:50:00] It's that deep Chicago[4:50:02] Voice you know? Yeah[4:50:04] J.D. Straight[4:50:06] Okay[4:50:12] What's next?[4:50:14] Kidding[4:50:16] Sam Roberts everybody[4:50:18] From the Opie and Anthony show Isn't that exciting[4:50:20] All my heroes[4:50:22] Finally know all about my TV[4:50:24] So exciting[4:50:26] Alright what do we got next Jules cause it is a big[4:50:28] Show we can keep going I know[4:50:30] Should we do Joe List and Louis[4:50:32] I think so[4:50:34] I'm just looking at my list everybody[4:50:36] Just seeing if there's any little ones here[4:50:38] Joe List and Louis And what time are we at here today[4:50:40] I see we should get a time thing man[4:50:42] Oh yeah Is there a way to get a time[4:50:44] Reading[4:50:46] Computer nerds[4:50:48] Is there a way to do this through stream decks[4:50:50] To get the time that I've been broadcasting[4:50:52] Over me on a nice display[4:50:54] Not a digital[4:50:56] It has to be a separate analog[4:50:58] LED type display[4:51:00] It cannot be another[4:51:02] Monitor that's cheating[4:51:04] Okay I like to use[4:51:06] Objects right It's cheating to just[4:51:08] Use computers for a bit Preferably one of those physical[4:51:10] Clocks where it's like those[4:51:12] Slappy white plastic[4:51:14] Sheets that like fall down[4:51:16] Oh wait somebody in the chat just went[4:51:18] Come on[4:51:20] Come on with what[4:51:22] Oh no that guy said[4:51:24] Is he about to do an impression about[4:51:26] Sam and then said come on as a follow up[4:51:28] My heart stopped[4:51:30] This is why I can't let you just look at the chat[4:51:32] This is what Ethan Klein must feel[4:51:34] You're always getting these guys wrong[4:51:36] They're all nice[4:51:38] This is like how Ethan Klein feels when he sees the[4:51:40] Letter P being written[4:51:42] Because he thinks it might be something about his pizza[4:51:44] Okay so[4:51:46] Let me look at my list really quick[4:51:48] I think Andrew Schultz is lying about his[4:51:50] Special let's say that really quick[4:51:52] I'm just going through these things to see[4:51:54] What gears me up[4:51:56] I don't think there is a streamer by the way[4:51:58] People wanted me to touch on Bobby[4:52:00] And Kylie no[4:52:02] People really love these two[4:52:04] Because[4:52:06] And this is good[4:52:08] You like reality TV[4:52:10] Yep all the cool guys[4:52:12] They don't watch reality TV[4:52:14] If you watch Tiger Belly[4:52:16] I'm sorry[4:52:18] You're watching[4:52:20] The Kardashians[4:52:22] But without any of the sweet[4:52:24] Camera work[4:52:26] Transition music[4:52:28] Fast paced city streets[4:52:30] Of LA[4:52:32] And without the billions[4:52:34] Yes if you watch Tiger Belly[4:52:36] You're a reality[4:52:38] TV junkie[4:52:40] As the main content[4:52:42] On that show is the inner[4:52:44] Workings of the relationship[4:52:46] Between Kalila[4:52:48] And Bobby Lee[4:52:50] Now you all claim you hate reality TV[4:52:52] Yep most of the podcasts you watch are just[4:52:54] Reality TV shows[4:52:56] You're hooked[4:52:58] On the characters and you just can't[4:53:00] Stop gossiping like a girl[4:53:02] It's no different than reading[4:53:04] Us Weekly and talking to[4:53:06] Barbara[4:53:08] And Nancy about what happened[4:53:10] With Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie[4:53:12] And what's gonna happen[4:53:14] It is the same thing[4:53:16] Tiger Belly is not[4:53:18] Cool it is gay[4:53:20] And if you've been watching that show thinking[4:53:22] Oh no Bobby's pretty cool[4:53:24] Then you're gay too I don't know what to tell you[4:53:26] Bobby Lee works with Andrew Santino[4:53:28] He's his best friend I have bad friends[4:53:30] Andrew Santino is my worst fucking enemy[4:53:32] So you can't be friends with my enemy[4:53:34] Good that's what I know[4:53:36] Bobby Lee has gone through his entire[4:53:38] Career lying[4:53:40] Conning[4:53:42] Being a weirdo it wasn't up until[4:53:44] Two years ago where him and this[4:53:46] Kalila the mastermind[4:53:48] Tricked[4:53:50] People into thinking that they're[4:53:52] Thoughtful they're not thoughtful[4:53:54] They're conniving[4:53:56] And[4:53:58] I've met conniving[4:54:00] People in real life and the reason[4:54:02] That even conniving people usually[4:54:04] Can go on for so long without[4:54:06] Anybody thinking they're conniving[4:54:08] Is because[4:54:10] We as people[4:54:12] Just assume nobody[4:54:14] Is actually like a villain[4:54:16] From TV we just assume[4:54:18] Because most likely the people we've[4:54:20] Met in our life have all been kind of[4:54:22] Normal or at least they're not[4:54:24] So crazy that they're villains[4:54:26] But let me tell you something I have[4:54:28] Met real[4:54:30] And it wasn't up until meeting those real[4:54:32] Villains that I knew that they[4:54:34] Do exist and they come in the[4:54:36] Form of who you[4:54:38] Think it might not be[4:54:40] And I watch people[4:54:42] Constantly get tricked[4:54:44] By those real villains now I don't[4:54:46] Think Bobby is a true villain I think he is[4:54:48] A liar and a really[4:54:50] Messed up dude[4:54:52] Kalila on the other hand[4:54:54] Is a villain[4:54:56] And[4:54:58] She's slick[4:55:00] So you don't[4:55:02] Pick up on that yet[4:55:04] But she is[4:55:06] She[4:55:08] Comes from a family[4:55:10] That has led her to villainry[4:55:12] And while[4:55:14] She might sound cool calm and composed[4:55:16] She is scripted[4:55:18] Calculated and vindictive[4:55:24] The breakup[4:55:26] Is very difficult to explain[4:55:30] What are people saying?[4:55:32] The breakup[4:55:34] Is not what you think[4:55:36] There are multiple[4:55:38] Realities taking[4:55:40] Place with the Bobby and[4:55:42] Kalila breakup now do we have a clip from this[4:55:44] To play? I would like to play[4:55:46] Where he goes we are officially breaking up[4:55:48] Yeah I've got that in there[4:55:50] Pull it up[4:55:52] Because I see a lot of gossip about these two[4:55:54] And again[4:55:56] If we are going to gossip[4:55:58] But let's make them evil[4:56:00] Okay[4:56:02] And I've got that part for you because otherwise[4:56:04] We are just talking about some relationship[4:56:06] Stuff and that is what[4:56:08] Gay people do[4:56:10] So here we go we are going to[4:56:12] Get this here and[4:56:14] Kalila and Bobby break up[4:56:16] 104.40 let's watch[4:56:18] Fun things[4:56:20] Okay so this is interesting[4:56:22] They've been doing their show[4:56:24] Tiger belly 355[4:56:26] Of course this is the first thing on everybody's mind[4:56:28] Why did they decide to do a show[4:56:30] As normal[4:56:32] For an hour and four minutes[4:56:34] Getting a long laughing[4:56:36] Cut to the tv[4:56:38] Having a blast right?[4:56:40] For an hour and four minutes and then[4:56:42] They decide to do this[4:56:44] Check it out[4:56:46] Let's talk about[4:56:48] Get ready to be played[4:56:50] Guys[4:56:52] You want to talk about something[4:56:54] That's a little uncomfortable for me[4:56:56] Wait here wildcard admit something[4:56:58] Okay this is it[4:57:00] Do you want me to open it then?[4:57:02] Yeah if you want[4:57:04] Bobby[4:57:06] Everybody agrees[4:57:08] The kleins are[4:57:10] Jewish correct?[4:57:12] Most people[4:57:14] Well if the kleins are Jewish[4:57:16] Then these guys[4:57:18] Are planners[4:57:20] If I know[4:57:22] Here's the saying[4:57:24] It's this[4:57:26] These guys are planners[4:57:28] The same way[4:57:30] I'm sure the kleins[4:57:32] Are Jewish[4:57:34] Got it[4:57:36] Why is it being Jewish an insult to you Nick?[4:57:38] It's not but it is to Nick[4:57:40] And you know why[4:57:42] You know and he has every right[4:57:44] So[4:57:46] I'll tell you this about Bobby Lee[4:57:48] Bobby Lee has been lying for years[4:57:50] Constantly lying and[4:57:52] All the little stories you hear about[4:57:54] Bobby Lee are very crazy[4:57:56] And it wasn't up until a few years ago where he[4:57:58] Figured out how to put on[4:58:00] The face of a sane[4:58:02] And maybe the sane is[4:58:04] Somewhere deep down in Bobby[4:58:06] And he just wishes he could be sane[4:58:08] But look at him and his steeby weebo[4:58:10] Brother these are mentally[4:58:12] Ill I mean they're like two above[4:58:14] Inside but their brains[4:58:16] Are capable[4:58:18] And so that's where the[4:58:20] Sinisterism starts[4:58:22] Taking place okay when you have a retard[4:58:24] But with a capable brain[4:58:26] Who's also really insecure[4:58:28] And also trapped inside this[4:58:30] Awful body you know he had[4:58:32] To make a joke[4:58:34] Of his own body degrade himself for years[4:58:36] Running around naked doing the[4:58:38] Ooh me a tiny[4:58:40] Because it was really all he had[4:58:42] He was that insecure where he had to take himself[4:58:44] Down to such levels and that[4:58:46] Comes with trauma that comes[4:58:48] With PTSD[4:58:50] You don't humiliate yourself[4:58:52] For years and be the weirdo[4:58:54] For years without picking up some baggage[4:58:56] Then Kalila comes along[4:58:58] I'll tell you why she's crazy[4:59:00] And again all this is right[4:59:02] There out in the open[4:59:04] Kalila[4:59:06] Has this thing where people are accusing her of[4:59:08] Being a gold digger okay I don't[4:59:10] Care if you're a gold digger I'm accusing you of being[4:59:12] Crazy and this is[4:59:14] Where I think people mess up[4:59:16] You don't need to call her a gold digger[4:59:18] Cut right to crazy[4:59:20] How do we know she's crazy Mike well[4:59:22] She[4:59:24] Started dating Bobby Lee[4:59:26] And remember this was[4:59:28] Before the Bobby Lee you see here[4:59:30] Today who has some like podcast[4:59:32] Street crab the cloud[4:59:34] We've got Joe Rogan now[4:59:36] We've got all this stuff going on so[4:59:38] Bobby Lee is now considered rich[4:59:40] And famous now[4:59:42] But back then Bobby Lee was considered[4:59:44] A weirdo fat nudist[4:59:46] Creep constantly doing weird[4:59:48] Ass fucking shit and to go[4:59:50] Anywhere near this guy[4:59:52] In any other[4:59:54] Context that haha look at this fucking freak[4:59:56] Is twisted only a twisted[4:59:58] Person would do that let alone[5:00:00] Have sex and date[5:00:02] That so while[5:00:04] You might think that is a little over[5:00:06] Top it is very true no[5:00:08] One who looks like that and believe me[5:00:10] By looks like that I mean you people[5:00:12] Deem her to look like that and[5:00:14] When she started dating him years ago[5:00:16] She looked like that a little bit better[5:00:18] And I don't[5:00:20] Think she's a drag I just want to get this perfectly[5:00:22] If I saw her naked I would puke[5:00:24] She has removed breasts[5:00:26] She's from a Navajo[5:00:28] Place and all I see[5:00:30] Is somebody running at me with an axe to be honest[5:00:32] Perfectly honest that's what I see when I look at her[5:00:34] So um[5:00:36] That's not my fault[5:00:38] She also comes[5:00:40] From a family where she talks about her[5:00:42] Murderers her uncles were[5:00:44] Actual murderers her cousins[5:00:46] Or brothers that would murder people that were in[5:00:48] Gang I don't know I don't really know that[5:00:50] Much about her but all I know[5:00:52] Is that she fantasizes[5:00:54] About being in gang bangs this is true[5:00:56] She's put her whole[5:00:58] Life out in the open[5:01:00] For everybody the reality show[5:01:02] Syndrome because they you know[5:01:04] These people want the money right[5:01:06] They want the attention they want the fame[5:01:08] So they make their life a reality[5:01:10] Show and then what happens[5:01:12] Is what happens to reality[5:01:14] Show contestants right well[5:01:16] They usually have their[5:01:18] Privacy[5:01:20] Invaded right so when you're[5:01:22] On a reality show it seems like a lot[5:01:24] Of fun but I think we learned this[5:01:26] In 1991 after[5:01:28] Road rules and what happened to[5:01:30] Puck[5:01:32] Let's just say[5:01:34] Character on road rules[5:01:36] It sounds[5:01:38] Like it's going to be all fun and games but it's like[5:01:40] Rubbing that magic lamp with[5:01:42] The genie there's a catch there's a[5:01:44] Rub there's you know[5:01:46] The monkey's paw[5:01:48] You get your three wishes but then it comes[5:01:50] With all this so they want to be reality[5:01:52] Shows tv stars when it's going[5:01:54] Good and everyone's saying they like[5:01:56] Them and they like these[5:01:58] Personalities and these private stories[5:02:00] They're sharing and they're getting money[5:02:02] And they're getting admiration and then the second[5:02:06] These people pry into something[5:02:08] That they don't want you[5:02:10] Prying into even though they've shared this[5:02:12] You know Kalila what I'm talking about is[5:02:14] Kalila and Bobby they've been talking about[5:02:16] Their relationship for years she[5:02:18] Talks about all these fantasies[5:02:20] Where she wants to get raped[5:02:22] Rape fantasies and gang bangs and how they have[5:02:24] An open relationship about how they cheat[5:02:26] And they screw around all hours of the night[5:02:28] Wearing masks and shit devious shit[5:02:30] And then the listeners get involved[5:02:32] And then that's when it's time[5:02:34] For everyone needs to back off what did we ever[5:02:36] Do to deserve this[5:02:38] Well you rubbed that monkey's paw you wanted it[5:02:40] All you wanted the money your whole[5:02:42] Show is based around your[5:02:44] Personal private content[5:02:46] That happens in your life[5:02:48] You share it and now you're shocked[5:02:50] When the listeners want to be involved[5:02:52] In that[5:02:54] They're going to be involved in whatever content[5:02:56] You give them so[5:02:58] You have the ability to pick and choose what that[5:03:00] Content is you chose to do the[5:03:02] Easy let's make a display[5:03:04] Of myself I will[5:03:06] Humiliate myself and become[5:03:08] The content and you chose to be[5:03:10] Reality show stars[5:03:14] And that's[5:03:16] You're not going to make it[5:03:18] As a reality show star nobody does[5:03:20] The invasion of privacy is overwhelming[5:03:22] To anybody[5:03:24] And especially to people[5:03:26] With medical[5:03:28] Anxiety[5:03:30] And they're always depressed[5:03:32] You know it's always I saw[5:03:34] What is that guy's name? Ray Charles[5:03:36] Who's that fucking guy who's like[5:03:38] I disappeared for two months[5:03:40] Donovan McDooby the black guy[5:03:42] I disappeared for two months[5:03:44] I used to do expose videos on[5:03:46] YouTube but I had to[5:03:48] Quit because my Oh D'Angelo Wallace[5:03:50] D'Angelo Wallace you know him[5:03:52] Another guy and[5:03:54] You want to say to him how about[5:03:56] The guys with anxiety and depression[5:03:58] Maybe don't do[5:04:00] Expose videos[5:04:02] You ever think of that?[5:04:04] Maybe don't work in the business of[5:04:06] Expose[5:04:08] It might be a little anxiety[5:04:10] Written for you[5:04:12] So we see it all the time Joey Diaz[5:04:14] This guy this guy they all want to put[5:04:16] Their lives on display[5:04:18] Get all the money for being on[5:04:20] Display humiliate themselves[5:04:22] You know Joey Diaz another guy running around naked[5:04:24] Selling his ridiculous[5:04:26] Body we're laughing at you by the way[5:04:28] When you're running around naked[5:04:30] We're not going Joey's so funny we're going[5:04:32] Look at this fat fucking idiot[5:04:34] You did the same thing Bobby[5:04:36] Naked[5:04:38] Bobby Naked is very similar to Bobby Hundreds[5:04:40] They're both assholes[5:04:42] And she's very similar to Cassandra[5:04:44] From Waynes World because she goes[5:04:46] You asshole[5:04:48] To him[5:04:50] They've paraded around naked[5:04:52] They've shared too much disgusting[5:04:54] Embarrassing traumatic personal information[5:04:56] Without giving it a[5:04:58] Second to think are they capable[5:05:00] Of sharing this privacy[5:05:02] With this many people[5:05:04] What did I say earlier? You can't[5:05:06] Service one million customers[5:05:08] You're trying to service[5:05:10] All these customers imagine if every time[5:05:12] You went into Target the owner came out[5:05:14] And he goes so I want to get fucked[5:05:16] By ten black guys[5:05:18] And I'm having a hell of a time with my wife[5:05:20] And then you tell someone about it[5:05:22] And then the guy from Target starts screaming at you[5:05:24] Stay out of my business[5:05:26] It wouldn't make sense[5:05:28] So that's the situation they're in[5:05:30] And that comes with a lot of problems now I don't know what problems[5:05:32] They have but I know they have problems[5:05:34] And they're sick of everybody[5:05:36] Being involved in their relationship[5:05:38] Right you can cut back to the TV[5:05:40] So they're sick of it so[5:05:42] The planners[5:05:44] Kalila the planner[5:05:46] Who went on the H3 podcast[5:05:48] This is what happened[5:05:50] I want to tell people about[5:05:52] This is I'm Kalila now[5:05:54] Hey Bobby[5:05:56] I want to tell people about Brendan Shaw[5:05:58] But I don't think I'm ready for all the hate[5:06:00] Oh no you cannot tell people about that[5:06:02] Do you understand the world[5:06:04] The fucking shit I would be in[5:06:06] Do you know what those guys know about me?[5:06:08] If we start a war with them[5:06:10] They'll start fucking saying all this shit[5:06:12] I'm telling you we don't want this[5:06:14] Yes but Bobby[5:06:16] We have to get the story out[5:06:18] Okay well I don't know I don't know what to do[5:06:20] The next morning[5:06:22] This is Kalila[5:06:24] Contacting the Kleins[5:06:26] Ethan[5:06:28] We have a situation that we need some help with[5:06:30] Oh yes I would love[5:06:32] Because Ethan Klein is so fucking hated by everybody[5:06:36] That the minute Kalila and Bobby Lee[5:06:38] He reached out he's all fucking up[5:06:40] He'll do anything for them[5:06:42] So Bobby and Kalila[5:06:44] Plan this thing where she goes[5:06:46] Ethan we want to come on your podcast[5:06:48] And tell the world about what Brendan Shaw's been doing[5:06:52] But we want you to bring it up organically[5:06:54] As if you just brought it up[5:06:56] And then we could say it and then at least[5:06:58] We don't look like we're trying to target this guy[5:07:00] And start anything[5:07:02] So they did that[5:07:04] That was the plan[5:07:06] And I know that that was fully how I just said it[5:07:10] I just know it and they could sue me if it didn't happen like that[5:07:12] And we'll subpoena the text[5:07:14] You want to do it like that?[5:07:16] I fucking know it happened[5:07:18] So I know they're planners[5:07:20] And what you're seeing here[5:07:22] Is plan two[5:07:24] How do we get people to stop prying into our private lives[5:07:28] Well let's just tell them[5:07:30] We broke up[5:07:32] Roll it[5:07:35] Yeah if you want Bobby[5:07:37] It's disgusting[5:07:39] Oh god[5:07:41] This is hard[5:07:43] I just want to announce to everybody[5:07:46] That Kalila and I are no longer together[5:07:48] After one hour and four minutes of joking around by the way[5:07:52] It's not over[5:07:54] I mean in the sense that[5:07:56] You know[5:07:58] We[5:08:00] I want to say that Kalila is[5:08:02] The love of my life[5:08:04] My best friend[5:08:06] Look at this[5:08:08] If there was a book about my life[5:08:10] She would be[5:08:12] She's almost mouthing[5:08:14] The words like a stage mom[5:08:18] Getting my points[5:08:20] From my packets that I make[5:08:22] Now I'll tell you[5:08:24] Because again[5:08:26] This is a little more confusing than just[5:08:28] They're pretending to break up[5:08:30] Maybe I'll get into that in a second[5:08:32] But it's almost too much wind[5:08:34] Out of my lungs already[5:08:36] Let's hear what they say[5:08:38] If there was ten chapters she'd be four of them at least[5:08:40] Five of them[5:08:42] Give me half[5:08:44] By the way why are you all watching this[5:08:46] Somebody says yeah man this shit's gay as fuck[5:08:48] I always talking about this cause yeah[5:08:50] That's the other thing[5:08:52] Are you guys gay[5:08:54] You just watch this[5:08:56] This is like worse than watching a Netflix show[5:08:58] For just girls[5:09:00] That is unwatchable by men[5:09:02] The ultimatum marry or move on[5:09:04] Yes this is a girls[5:09:06] Romance show[5:09:08] And by the way[5:09:10] With the Brendan Schaub thing and this[5:09:12] They're talking about it as if somebody was killed[5:09:14] In this situation they lost a son[5:09:16] This is the gayest shit ever[5:09:18] Get over it[5:09:20] Swallow it and move on[5:09:22] Adults[5:09:24] And you're all watching like oh what is happening with them[5:09:26] Who cares they're a bunch of freaks[5:09:28] Honestly we got like a million messages[5:09:30] This week being like please talk about popular[5:09:32] I can't fucking wait but then it seems like almost nobody[5:09:34] In the chat even cares about this[5:09:36] Well how do you know what they care about[5:09:38] I mean they care about it but I thought this was gonna be[5:09:40] The most popular topic of the day[5:09:42] They're listening Jules they're listening[5:09:44] The less typing the fucking better[5:09:46] That means they're hearing[5:09:48] They're shitting in awe[5:09:50] Watch this[5:09:52] She changed my life in so[5:09:54] Many different ways[5:09:56] She[5:09:58] Reinvented who I was[5:10:00] And um[5:10:04] Yeah[5:10:06] Um and the reason why we're[5:10:08] Announcing that is because[5:10:10] There are things that people[5:10:12] Believe online[5:10:14] See these[5:10:16] Two can't handle this online[5:10:18] Again[5:10:20] Nobody can because when you put all your personal[5:10:22] Information out there and then thousands of people[5:10:24] Talk about your personal life like that[5:10:26] It can drive you[5:10:28] Crazy and that's what they did[5:10:30] And now they're suffering the consequence of that[5:10:32] And it appears[5:10:34] To me like they think the simple fix[5:10:36] Is to just say we broke up[5:10:38] Then they're not involved in our personal life[5:10:40] I could go out and do[5:10:42] My open relationship cheating without[5:10:44] Being called a cheater cause that's what it is[5:10:46] There's no such thing as an open relationship by the way[5:10:48] It's somebody[5:10:50] In the relationship wants to cheat[5:10:52] Without getting in trouble[5:10:54] That's all it is[5:10:56] So Kalila is a[5:10:58] Damaged sex freak[5:11:00] It's obvious[5:11:02] She's made it clear[5:11:04] She wants to have sex with other men why wouldn't she[5:11:06] This is Bobby Lee[5:11:08] He looks like a Chinese[5:11:10] Fucking mellow penis[5:11:12] He looks like[5:11:14] Bobby Lee looks like a micro penis[5:11:16] His whole fucking body is a penis[5:11:18] In balls, bald, Asian penis in balls[5:11:20] She finds[5:11:22] Nothing about him attractive[5:11:24] She's not getting her fix[5:11:26] She wants to go out and screw[5:11:28] All these guys in an open[5:11:30] Relationship but then everybody starts[5:11:32] Going oh my god she's[5:11:34] Victimizing Bobby you know they're making Bobby the victim[5:11:36] But meanwhile Bobby's doing all this[5:11:38] Fucking crazy perverted stuff too[5:11:40] So they're in this[5:11:42] Weird situation now[5:11:44] She's[5:11:46] She's planning on living[5:11:48] There and this is why it's two things[5:11:50] So she wants to go and do[5:11:52] She[5:11:54] I gotta start over[5:11:56] She wants to break up with Bobby[5:11:58] She[5:12:00] Really does she doesn't want this open[5:12:02] Relationship she doesn't want any of this but[5:12:04] She's gotta figure out a way[5:12:06] To keep all of these[5:12:08] Balls in the air man[5:12:10] If she's already getting[5:12:12] So much hate[5:12:14] Because of these stories where she fucks[5:12:16] Other guys in their open relationship[5:12:18] So[5:12:20] Imagine if she just broke up with[5:12:22] Bobby the thing that a real adult[5:12:24] Would do just break up and go[5:12:26] Be with somebody you actually like like a[5:12:28] Fucking adult like Annie and Esther[5:12:30] Yes so she can't do[5:12:32] That so what she has to do[5:12:34] Is oh yes we're[5:12:36] Still living together we're still best[5:12:38] Friends I'm still on the show[5:12:40] Nothing's really changing[5:12:42] Because she doesn't want to lose[5:12:44] Tiger Belly this is the best thing[5:12:46] That's ever happened to her she's a millionaire now[5:12:48] She doesn't want to lose that other fucking[5:12:50] Show she does Trash Tuesdays and[5:12:52] She doesn't want all[5:12:54] Of Bobby's fans hating her for life and[5:12:56] Torturing her everyday and not giving her the money[5:12:58] So breaking up with[5:13:00] Bobby is a giant[5:13:02] Fucking thing to do it's a[5:13:04] Giant divorce so[5:13:06] The only way to do it is to manipulate[5:13:08] Bobby and this is where it[5:13:10] Gets sick she's saying[5:13:12] To Bobby I think we should break up[5:13:14] I think we should tell this is what's[5:13:16] Happening she really wants to break up[5:13:18] With him but she tells[5:13:20] Bobby this is because she's a planner[5:13:22] So you could cut to me she[5:13:24] Really wants to break up with him but she goes to[5:13:26] Bobby and she goes we should[5:13:28] Tell the audience that we just[5:13:30] Want to break up and that way[5:13:32] They'll be out of our private lives[5:13:34] And he goes oh that's[5:13:36] Well I don't really want to do that but I[5:13:38] That's the only option oh I'm so scared[5:13:40] And then she goes okay this is what you'll say[5:13:42] Bobby blah blah blah they cut to today[5:13:44] So Bobby thinks it's a[5:13:46] Fake breakup they're still gonna live together[5:13:48] And all this but she's gonna be off she's[5:13:50] Probably out the door the second this ended[5:13:52] She's got a booty call at a bar[5:13:54] And[5:13:56] Bobby you could hear her through all this[5:13:58] Stuff you know I'm cutting out[5:14:00] A lot of stuff here but you could cut back to the TV[5:14:02] Bobby's telling them oh yeah it's[5:14:04] Gonna be the same she's gonna still sleep[5:14:06] Here and live here and everything's[5:14:08] The same don't worry about it we're just a couple[5:14:10] Of weirdos right[5:14:12] No she broke up with[5:14:14] You but got to keep everything and you're[5:14:16] Fucking none the wiser[5:14:20] But I mean Bobby sucks too to be[5:14:22] Fair I mean dating him of course[5:14:24] Yes I get it that's her side[5:14:26] Obviously so I'm done with these[5:14:28] And stop with the Bobby and Brendan[5:14:30] Job and just can you guys grow[5:14:32] The fuck up[5:14:34] That's all that[5:14:36] Has happened and to talk about it[5:14:38] Anymore it's like foolish I read all these fucking[5:14:40] Posts miles long[5:14:42] And it's not like I spend any time coming[5:14:44] Up with this I opened my eyes and shot for one second[5:14:46] So I don't want to read anything different[5:14:48] In your reddits[5:14:50] Alright we still[5:14:52] Have so much[5:14:54] Oh hallelujah you could cut to me[5:14:56] Hallelujah[5:14:58] Wanna do a weedo? Can we take a tiny break[5:15:00] Before the next one cause I have to use the rest[5:15:02] No you don't gotta tell people[5:15:04] We'll take a quick little break[5:15:06] We'll be right back much more[5:15:08] Happening on this[5:15:10] Great show let's see what I got[5:15:12] And she loves to pee[5:15:14] We'll see you all[5:15:16] Inside oh these songs are all[5:15:18] Different oh ok here we go we'll see you all[5:15:20] In a second I'm trying to pick out a good song for you[5:15:22] No more[5:15:24] Viagra boys ok it's fake music[5:15:26] Alright we'll see you soon[5:15:28] And this isn't any better but we'll see you soon[5:15:32] Uh[5:15:34] Uh[5:15:36] Uh[5:15:38] Uh[5:15:40] Uh[5:15:42] Uh[5:15:44] Uh[5:15:46] Day and night[5:15:48] I toss and turn I keep stress in my mind[5:15:50] Mind[5:15:52] I look for peace but see I don't attain[5:15:54] What I need for keeps this silly[5:15:56] Game we play[5:15:58] Game we play[5:16:00] Look at this[5:16:02] Madness the magnet keeps attracting me[5:16:04] Me[5:16:06] I try to run but see I'm not that fast[5:16:08] I think I'm first[5:16:10] But surely finish last[5:16:12] Finish last[5:16:14] Cause day and night[5:16:16] The lowest owner seems to[5:16:18] Freeze by the night[5:16:20] He's all alone through the day[5:16:22] And night[5:16:24] The lowly owner seems to freeze[5:16:26] By the night[5:16:28] At night[5:16:30] Day and night[5:16:32] The lowly owner seems to freeze by the night[5:16:34] He's all alone so things will never change[5:16:36] The lowly owner seems to freeze by the night[5:16:38] At night[5:16:40] At night[5:16:42] At night[5:16:58] At night[5:17:06] At night[5:17:08] At night[5:17:10] At night[5:17:12] At night[5:17:28] At night[5:17:30] At night[5:17:32] At night[5:17:34] At night[5:17:36] At night[5:17:38] At night[5:17:40] At night[5:17:42] At night[5:17:44] Hold the phone[5:17:46] The lonely owner Mr. Solo[5:17:48] He's on the move[5:17:50] Can't seem to shake the shade[5:17:52] Within his dreams[5:17:54] He sees the life he made[5:17:56] The pain is deep[5:17:58] A silent sleeper[5:18:00] You won't hear a peep[5:18:02] The girl he wants[5:18:04] Don't say no one and two[5:18:06] It seems the feelings[5:18:08] That she had are through[5:18:12] Cause day and night[5:18:14] The lowest owner seems to[5:18:16] Freeze by the night[5:18:18] He's all alone through the day[5:18:20] And night[5:18:22] The lowly owner seems to freeze[5:18:24] By the night[5:18:26] At night[5:18:28] Day and night[5:18:30] The lowly owner seems to freeze[5:18:32] By the night[5:18:34] He's all alone so things will never change[5:18:36] The lowly owner[5:18:38] Seems to freeze by the night[5:18:40] At night[5:18:54] At night[5:18:56] At night[5:18:58] At night[5:19:04] At night[5:19:06] At night[5:19:08] At night[5:19:10] At night[5:19:12] At night[5:19:14] At night[5:19:16] At night[5:19:18] At night[5:19:20] At night[5:19:22] At night[5:19:24] At night[5:19:26] At night[5:19:28] At night[5:19:30] At night[5:19:32] At night[5:19:34] At night[5:19:36] At night[5:19:38] At night[5:19:40] At night[5:19:42] At night[5:19:44] At night[5:19:46] At night[5:19:48] At night[5:19:50] At night[5:19:52] At night[5:19:54] At night[5:19:56] At night[5:19:58] At night[5:20:00] At night[5:20:02] At night[5:20:04] At night[5:20:06] At night[5:20:08] At night[5:20:10] At night[5:20:12] At night[5:20:14] At night[5:20:16] At night[5:20:18] At night[5:20:20] At night[5:20:22] At night[5:20:24] At night[5:20:26] At night[5:20:28] At night[5:20:30] At night[5:20:32] At night[5:20:34] At night[5:20:36] At night[5:20:38] At night[5:20:40] At night[5:20:42] At night[5:20:44] At night[5:20:46] At night[5:20:48] At night[5:20:50] At night[5:20:52] At night[5:20:54] At night[5:20:56] At night[5:20:58] At night[5:21:00] At night[5:21:02] At night[5:21:04] At night[5:21:06] At night[5:21:08] At night[5:21:10] At night[5:21:12] At night[5:21:14] At night[5:21:16] At night[5:21:18] At night[5:21:20] At night[5:21:22] At night[5:21:24] At night[5:21:26] At night[5:21:28] At night[5:21:30] At night[5:21:32] At night[5:21:34] So this guy is sitting there[5:21:36] He's like a complete fucking[5:21:38] freak. He has long hair[5:21:40] and every one[5:21:42] of his arms is just bone. Like have you seen[5:21:44] Eugenia Cooney?[5:21:46] Worse than that. Like just bones[5:21:48] and he's all deformed and he's in this chair and he's like[5:21:50] And[5:21:52] he's talking to these two people and I want to go[5:21:54] peek in but there's no fucking way right[5:21:56] that I'm like going[5:21:58] anywhere near this cripple. He's just too[5:22:00] ugly and gross. So[5:22:02] I'm like ah fuck I'll have to on the[5:22:04] way back remind me I want to walk in but they're[5:22:06] blocking the door. This big[5:22:08] cripple. Like it's just too weird of a situation[5:22:10] to go through. So[5:22:12] on our way back[5:22:14] they're all gone. I finally get to go[5:22:16] into this place and I walk right[5:22:18] in. I start looking around and then out of[5:22:20] the corner I go can I help you?[5:22:22] It was fucking him.[5:22:24] The cripple was the[5:22:26] doorman of this bar[5:22:28] like the caretaker[5:22:30] like the innkeeper[5:22:32] and I[5:22:34] immediately like it's too much for me and then[5:22:36] I'm like that's a fucking[5:22:38] bold choice to put at your door because[5:22:40] what you're saying is like this is a freak bar[5:22:42] right? Like this is[5:22:44] a scary place[5:22:46] But I said it's kind of cool.[5:22:48] Then Jules actually talked some sense into[5:22:50] it. So this story has a happy ending.[5:22:52] She said and tell them what you said about[5:22:54] how it's kind of cool to[5:22:56] have like a scary[5:22:58] Yeah that makes it more your night out and it's[5:23:00] exciting. And what did you say to me? You go[5:23:02] it's not like you're going to a restaurant. That would[5:23:04] be nauseating. Well don't say that.[5:23:06] This is just a bar and I go oh[5:23:08] yeah I'm not eating. Because you want it to be a spooky[5:23:10] late night alt universe.[5:23:12] And then I started thinking okay[5:23:14] bold choice or bold[5:23:16] choice. Turns out[5:23:18] I believe this bar[5:23:20] hired. Because everything is[5:23:22] pristine about this bar like they're very aesthetic.[5:23:24] You wouldn't[5:23:26] accidentally just hire this[5:23:28] deformed fucking guy[5:23:30] to be your main door guy[5:23:32] unless[5:23:34] it was on purpose.[5:23:36] And you were trying to create this[5:23:38] spooky come on in if you dare.[5:23:40] Which is pretty cool. Environment so[5:23:42] shout outs to that fucking guy.[5:23:44] I will never by the way[5:23:46] didn't say I'm attending this bar.[5:23:48] We're going. Still too nauseating[5:23:50] for me bro.[5:23:56] They're getting hard to take down here today.[5:23:58] Oh my god careful.[5:24:02] Sorry. I don't know how you drink that much.[5:24:04] I literally drank one freedom[5:24:06] beer. It's getting nauseating.[5:24:08] Oh don't drink a freedom beer.[5:24:10] Those are bad for you.[5:24:12] I like them.[5:24:14] I like freedom beer.[5:24:16] I like Kit Kats.[5:24:18] But the orange flavor is not good.[5:24:20] Yes Twin Peaks. It was exactly like Twin Peaks.[5:24:22] Now that's just a little side[5:24:24] story.[5:24:26] Doesn't relate to anything else.[5:24:28] It's a cute little tale.[5:24:30] Which leads us[5:24:32] to more[5:24:34] tales. So what do we have next?[5:24:36] We've got a million things next but we are[5:24:38] starting to get into that. How long[5:24:40] have we been on right now?[5:24:42] 524.[5:24:44] So maybe we should do our last one.[5:24:46] But it's long.[5:24:48] Well come on.[5:24:50] You're making me worry now.[5:24:52] It's a nice size.[5:24:54] It's a reasonable size.[5:24:56] I'm going to take one more quick break.[5:24:58] One more[5:25:00] very quick break and we'll be right back.[5:25:08] I can do both.[5:25:12] Yes I keep busy.[5:25:14] I'm best when I'm in the zone.[5:25:18] You said you like that I'm busy[5:25:20] cause it means I can hold my own.[5:25:24] Let me have a go.[5:25:26] Let me have a go.[5:25:30] Cause if you don't try[5:25:32] then you'll never know.[5:25:34] Do I make you feel bad?[5:25:36] Cause when your voice gets[5:25:38] extra low[5:25:40] it's how I know you're really mad.[5:25:42] You said you wanted somebody[5:25:44] who could give you hope.[5:25:46] But you need somebody[5:25:48] so you can't[5:25:50] hear both.[5:25:52] Let me know.[5:25:54] I can do both. I can do both.[5:25:56] I can do both.[5:26:02] I can do both.[5:26:04] Yeah I'm powerful[5:26:06] but dumb enough to love it[5:26:08] when you hurt me so.[5:26:10] You said you like it[5:26:12] that I'm real just as long as I'm[5:26:14] an inch below.[5:26:16] I'll never know you.[5:26:18] So let your mother know.[5:26:20] Let your mother know.[5:26:22] I can do both.[5:26:26] Do I make you feel bad?[5:26:28] Cause when your voice[5:26:30] gets extra low[5:26:32] it's how I know you're really mad.[5:26:34] You said you wanted somebody[5:26:36] who could give you hope.[5:26:38] But you need somebody[5:26:40] so you can't hear both.[5:26:42] I can do both.[5:26:44] I can do both.[5:26:46] I can do both.[5:26:48] I can do both.[5:26:50] I'll never know.[5:26:52] If I don't know[5:26:54] I'll never know.[5:26:56] I'll never know.[5:26:58] I'll never know.[5:27:02] Welcome back to Red Bar.[5:27:04] You'll wake the danger.[5:27:08] Welcome back everybody. Let's keep it quiet[5:27:10] for the rest of the show. Wouldn't that be nice?[5:27:12] Oh my god. Okay. Hi.[5:27:14] We're going to show you this because[5:27:16] Joe List[5:27:18] has been[5:27:20] showing off.[5:27:22] Whoa, whoa, whoa.[5:27:26] Joe List has been showing off[5:27:28] in front of Louis GK.[5:27:30] Joe List on the high of his[5:27:32] life as he is the movie[5:27:34] star in Louis[5:27:36] GK's latest movie. And just like I said[5:27:38] how Josh Denny goes[5:27:40] around pretending that Kumi and[5:27:42] Gavin are the guys from[5:27:44] the past in their heyday.[5:27:46] Joe List is[5:27:48] parading around Louis GK[5:27:50] as if this is Louis GK[5:27:52] the A-list celebrity.[5:27:54] Who he was. Now if you don't[5:27:56] remember right before Louis's cancellation[5:27:58] you know[5:28:00] which we by the way[5:28:02] the reason we were so excited for[5:28:04] Louis's cancellation is because this was a[5:28:06] story in the comedy world. You've all heard[5:28:08] this for many years about him masturbating[5:28:10] in front of these girls. And we had told[5:28:12] that story years[5:28:14] and years and years and years back and we were[5:28:16] so excited about this story. When it finally[5:28:18] got out into the public we couldn't[5:28:20] believe it. Because back then it[5:28:22] wasn't that you know[5:28:24] your biggest fantasies come to life[5:28:26] like this. So it was very exciting[5:28:28] we popped champagne. I went out[5:28:30] and about Chris Dahl[5:28:32] champagne from the songs[5:28:34] Chris Dahl and I had never[5:28:36] bought and it was like 300 some[5:28:38] dollars or something. And[5:28:40] I don't even like champagne. It was[5:28:42] literally just a habit to[5:28:44] show Louis how happy[5:28:46] we were that he got[5:28:48] popped.[5:28:50] Which is just so funny to me.[5:28:52] You know a lot of people don't want to admit that that's[5:28:54] just very funny. You masturbate[5:28:56] and I don't even care about the masturbating.[5:28:58] I care more about[5:29:00] his lousy attitude prior[5:29:02] to being outed and his terrible[5:29:04] behavior after.[5:29:06] You know again Louis C.K.[5:29:08] was up there with[5:29:10] you got to remember what things were like.[5:29:12] He was getting so[5:29:14] famous.[5:29:16] He was basically like almost[5:29:18] A-list. Like he was rolling with[5:29:20] the likes of[5:29:22] um[5:29:24] he was up there with like Jennifer Aniston[5:29:26] Brad I mean he was like in that mix[5:29:28] of like the main celebrities[5:29:30] for a while. Remember[5:29:32] he's constantly Mr. Tonight's show[5:29:34] Hillary Clinton. Well you could show that[5:29:36] clip I put in the notes of his old friend group.[5:29:38] Yeah and remember his old[5:29:40] friend group which really contrasts[5:29:42] with his new friend[5:29:44] group. So let's see let's[5:29:46] check out Louis' original friend group[5:29:48] cut to the TV. Let's see this.[5:29:50] There he is his original.[5:29:52] But when a black guy gets rich it's[5:29:54] count down to when he's poor. Wow[5:29:56] Chris Rock Seinfeld[5:29:58] TV[5:30:00] industry I mean he was[5:30:02] up there remember that?[5:30:04] Let's see who's[5:30:06] us. He's the blackest white guy I fucking know.[5:30:08] And all the negative[5:30:10] things we think about black people.[5:30:12] This fucker. You're saying I'm a nigger.[5:30:14] Yes.[5:30:16] Did he just say Ethan Klein's[5:30:18] word?[5:30:20] Ethan Klein says it[5:30:22] all the time.[5:30:24] Behind the line.[5:30:26] What's really on his[5:30:28] mind mind mind?[5:30:30] Promises[5:30:32] of what I[5:30:34] said to do.[5:30:36] Now now now[5:30:38] now. Somebody rework all[5:30:40] that into plush.[5:30:42] So[5:30:44] yeah his old friend group[5:30:46] is pretty banging right? You want to see his new[5:30:48] friend group? It's going to make you sick.[5:30:50] Wait till you see Louis' new friend group[5:30:52] and this is why you should hate him.[5:30:56] Oh my god Ethan[5:30:58] Klein is right. Cut the tape cut the tape[5:31:02] Cut the tape[5:31:16] Sala ma nii[5:31:18] Ma na ma na ma na ma[5:31:20] Ma ma ma ma ma[5:31:22] Aloheinu[5:31:24] Asa ma na[5:31:26] Not amused Jules?[5:31:28] Accidentally burped feel awful[5:31:30] about that. I didn't.[5:31:32] I really do. I'm not[5:31:34] I hear people the other just the other day[5:31:36] Mark Norman's like yeah[5:31:38] I can't[5:31:40] stand that shit when people burp[5:31:42] on the air and they'll go into the microphone[5:31:44] to do it. Right?[5:31:46] People will be like yeah you know[5:31:48] I can't even imitate a burp[5:31:50] I hate fucking burps[5:31:52] Okay[5:31:54] Back to the new friend group[5:31:56] You can start right at the beginning if you want[5:31:58] Oh really I can?[5:32:00] I mean there's a little preview[5:32:02] Oh great a cold[5:32:04] open. The comedians love a[5:32:06] cold open. Here is Louis K[5:32:08] with his new power[5:32:10] friends[5:32:14] Uh[5:32:16] Joe is looking out the window[5:32:18] with these two guys standing on a corner[5:32:20] Alright[5:32:22] Karen Fian[5:32:24] OnlyFans. She actually opens her[5:32:26] pussy for Legion of Skank fans[5:32:28] for cash. I'm not kidding[5:32:30] I've seen her pussy and[5:32:32] asshole fully opened in my life[5:32:34] Shouldn't[5:32:36] She puts that out there. Fully opened[5:32:38] She has plywood[5:32:40] floors. She's not[5:32:42] even a real comedian[5:32:44] I don't think. Just one of[5:32:46] the skags that hangs[5:32:48] around the New York comedy scene[5:32:50] Sitting next to her is the beautiful[5:32:52] Joe List[5:32:54] Yes the star[5:32:56] as you can see he's enjoying a[5:32:58] celebratory cigar[5:33:00] The comedian's favorite snack[5:33:02] The cigar[5:33:04] Ooh[5:33:06] That'll show him how manly[5:33:08] with[5:33:10] the cigar[5:33:12] And the next guy[5:33:14] on this roof. Yes they're on a shitty[5:33:16] roof is[5:33:18] Sitting on a corner and he just makes him uncomfortable[5:33:20] Who else is on this roof?[5:33:22] You can skip ahead to 137[5:33:24] now. Okay now we can see who else is on[5:33:26] this roof. 137[5:33:28] The host of this pod[5:33:30] Yes. Here he is[5:33:32] Hi everybody[5:33:34] Welcome to Ari Shafir's Skeptics Tank Podcast[5:33:36] I'm Ari Shafir and I'm watering a fake lawn[5:33:38] Okay so here's Ari on one of his[5:33:42] extended stay[5:33:44] with a friend[5:33:46] apartment situations or some shit[5:33:48] and again[5:33:50] Ari is cringe god[5:33:52] I want to show you some of this opening but[5:33:54] yes Louis C.K. has traded in Chris Rock[5:33:56] Seinfeld and Dave Chappelle[5:33:58] for Ari[5:34:00] Joe List and Karen Feehan[5:34:02] and it's so pathetic[5:34:04] because Louis C.K. obviously[5:34:06] busted all of his own money into this stupid[5:34:08] movie with Joe List[5:34:10] it was shot on film, he blew it[5:34:12] it's got a 23% on Rotten Tomatoes[5:34:14] it's showing[5:34:16] in 17 theaters at[5:34:18] 7.30pm once[5:34:20] and everything he has[5:34:22] depends on this so[5:34:24] instead of Louis C.K. marketing his movie[5:34:26] like any other movie[5:34:28] he has to go to Unskeptic Tank[5:34:30] Tuesdays with[5:34:32] Stories, Trash Tuesdays[5:34:34] Who are these[5:34:36] podcasts? I mean the lowest[5:34:38] of the low New York bottom of[5:34:40] the barrel podcast trash[5:34:42] and he's on there[5:34:44] and you could see it[5:34:46] in his eyes, this pains him[5:34:48] to have to have his media[5:34:50] tour done on this roof[5:34:52] with Ari Shafir[5:34:54] and the likes of Karen Feehan[5:34:56] miss show it open[5:34:58] and[5:35:00] you could tell[5:35:02] that he's going through the motions[5:35:04] and he just wants to get this out but first[5:35:06] Ari Shafir's opening[5:35:08] I'm gonna let it play just to show you his[5:35:10] fucking[5:35:12] attitude and how[5:35:14] cringe. Has he always been like this?[5:35:16] He has but it's so much worse[5:35:18] now that it's almost[5:35:20] unconsumable[5:35:22] as a product, watch this[5:35:24] This song is[5:35:26] on my[5:35:28] Ari Shafir[5:35:30] Welcome to Ari Shafir's Skeptic Tank Podcast[5:35:32] I'm Ari Shafir and I'm watering a[5:35:34] fake lawn. That's right[5:35:36] cause I'm an American and today is Independence[5:35:38] Day. What does that[5:35:40] mean? It means we[5:35:42] I know that you do[5:35:44] these intros[5:35:46] but I don't like them![5:35:48] Got it?[5:35:50] So people all go[5:35:52] why is he acting so cringe and the answer[5:35:54] is oh that's just how he opens his[5:35:56] show. Okay well[5:35:58] now[5:36:00] get it?[5:36:02] That's what people do[5:36:04] and that's what I mean it's almost like this subtle[5:36:06] day to day[5:36:08] traditionalist brainwashing[5:36:10] that's happening to people where you just see something[5:36:12] so often you don't hear anyone[5:36:14] complain about it so it becomes normal[5:36:16] to you and acceptable. It is not[5:36:18] watch this. We celebrate[5:36:20] all things that are American by copying[5:36:22] other things. That's what America's[5:36:24] founded on. Listen to this. Yeah[5:36:26] it's ingenuity. It's[5:36:28] fucking taking what other people have done[5:36:30] and making it our own. Not even making it[5:36:32] better. I mean what do you do on July 4th?[5:36:34] Grill? Hamburgers and[5:36:36] Frankfurters? Where were those invented?[5:36:38] You think Frankfurt America?[5:36:40] You think Hamburg Indiana? No you[5:36:42] guys. Germany.[5:36:44] No. Sorry Ranto.[5:36:46] All of those facts[5:36:48] are wrong. I think the burger[5:36:50] was created in Indianapolis or something[5:36:52] like that. Something crazy like that.[5:36:54] You know. It has nothing to do with[5:36:56] Hamburg Germany. You just thought of[5:36:58] that because hamburger. Or they[5:37:00] invented like the grinding of the meat[5:37:02] or something? It's[5:37:04] yeah but the first burger I believe[5:37:06] listen I don't know. Ask George[5:37:08] Motz okay? George Motz[5:37:10] would be a perfect guy.[5:37:12] And listen[5:37:14] I know a lot of hamburger[5:37:16] facts.[5:37:18] I don't remember them.[5:37:20] Not at all. So[5:37:22] here he is and he does his[5:37:24] speech rant and it's like are you[5:37:26] practicing? Are you honing[5:37:28] your material? And you know anytime[5:37:30] they do a podcast it's not even for you.[5:37:32] It's so they can practice their material[5:37:34] that they could one day[5:37:36] sell.[5:37:38] Mmm.[5:37:40] And they've really like again[5:37:42] there's like no self[5:37:44] monitoring or self awareness anymore[5:37:46] with any comedian.[5:37:48] So they end up doing shit like this.[5:37:50] This used to make fun of a guy out of[5:37:52] town. You would bully[5:37:54] him out of town if he performed this[5:37:56] way. And now we're just like oh yeah[5:37:58] this is opening. You think[5:38:00] Frankfurt America? You think[5:38:02] Hamburg Indiana? No you guys. Germany.[5:38:04] Nazi Germany.[5:38:06] Yeah that's right.[5:38:08] During the[5:38:10] German Civil War in[5:38:12] 1935 Germans[5:38:14] the Nazi party experimented on[5:38:16] Jews and they said like how many Jews can[5:38:18] get into one small housing? And then one of[5:38:20] these fucking experimenters said why don't[5:38:22] we transfer that to meat?[5:38:24] And they push a bunch of meat into a casing[5:38:26] and the Frankfurter was invented and it was[5:38:28] delicious. Listen we weren't[5:38:30] for the experiment. His act outs is what[5:38:32] kills me. His little act outs[5:38:34] it's the in between looks[5:38:36] he gives that are just oh too[5:38:38] much for me.[5:38:40] And that's what he's[5:38:42] evolving into this like[5:38:44] I just don't know what to call it but[5:38:46] cringe it's so over the top[5:38:48] it's so rich with foolery.[5:38:50] It worked. Hot dogs are great.[5:38:52] We copied that. What else did we copy?[5:38:54] Democracy out of the core of who we are as[5:38:56] Americans. We stole that from the Greeks.[5:38:58] The Greek people in I don't know[5:39:00] 250 BC or some shit like[5:39:02] that. And he goes on and on[5:39:04] and on and it is so gay[5:39:06] I don't care about the Greeks unless I'm[5:39:08] going Greek. But wait before[5:39:10] you change it from this part you should go to 420.[5:39:12] Yeah wait till you hear this shit.[5:39:14] 420 and things get worse[5:39:16] with C.K. List[5:39:18] coming up. I saw it[5:39:20] yesterday. It's fucking great. It really is. It really[5:39:22] is a great movie. Drop the pretense for a second the[5:39:24] jokes. It was great. I was crying at the end.[5:39:26] Chris Walsh was in it too.[5:39:28] Bobby Kelly was in it too. You might know Bobby[5:39:30] Kelly. So they're talking about the movie he loves[5:39:32] Louie's movie 4th[5:39:34] of July sitting at 23%[5:39:36] on rotten which is still generous believe[5:39:38] me. I've seen movies[5:39:40] that I liked that had a 14 and[5:39:42] I'm sitting there. This one deserves[5:39:44] to be a 14 not a 23.[5:39:46] He and I[5:39:48] are starting a fucking new webisode[5:39:50] called[5:39:52] Two Comics[5:39:54] Two Cigars. So is this him[5:39:56] and Joe List? Is that who's doing it?[5:39:58] Will somebody? Okay let's[5:40:00] back that up because these[5:40:02] comedians and their cigar fans[5:40:04] I don't know who started this either[5:40:06] Bill Burr or Rogan[5:40:08] but every comedian[5:40:10] thinks they need to be[5:40:12] into cigars[5:40:14] all of a sudden and I'm not even[5:40:16] making this up. We've been making fun of the[5:40:18] cigar culture.[5:40:20] I mean it's just so embarrassing to me[5:40:22] and listen to what comes out of his mouth here.[5:40:24] We couldn't believe it. He was in it too.[5:40:26] You might know Bobby Kelly. He and I[5:40:28] are starting to fuck it. Bobby Kelly[5:40:30] and him. Another guy that I think we've[5:40:32] heard enough from. You know you're not doing[5:40:34] anything more exciting. It's Bobby[5:40:36] Kelly has been on repeat for the last 15[5:40:38] years. And now[5:40:40] this.[5:40:42] Bobby Kelly was in it too. You might[5:40:44] know Bobby Kelly. He and I[5:40:46] are starting a fucking new webisode[5:40:48] called[5:40:50] Two Comics[5:40:52] Two Cigars.[5:40:54] Two Comics Two Cigars and[5:40:56] is this another play on Two Girls[5:40:58] One Cup that everyone[5:41:00] is doing? Like how many[5:41:02] parody play on[5:41:04] words of Two Girls One Cup[5:41:06] and it's like guys this originated from[5:41:08] Two Girls One Cup[5:41:10] Amy Schumer[5:41:12] Amy Schumer Lana Rhodes[5:41:14] Lana Rhodes has a podcast Two Girls[5:41:16] One Kitchen. It's always[5:41:18] and it's really not funny[5:41:20] and it's not yours to take[5:41:22] Ari and it's a[5:41:24] cigar cast.[5:41:26] Do you guys really think that it's like[5:41:28] dude we get and I don't[5:41:30] know what the idea is like if we film[5:41:32] ourselves smoking these cigars we barely[5:41:34] have to do any work. I mean the cigars do most[5:41:36] of the work for us. I think that's what they[5:41:38] think. Like why[5:41:40] else do we need to see you smoking these cigars[5:41:42] constantly. I'm smoking constant stuff[5:41:44] it's not the theme.[5:41:46] And[5:41:48] look how he stands Israel.[5:42:04] And we'll start putting up[5:42:06] episodes in August. It's only going to be on YouTube.[5:42:08] Two comics, two cigars. Subscribe right now.[5:42:10] Maybe it'll be awesome.[5:42:12] There's a scene in life where[5:42:14] Bobby, Kelly and Ari are sitting around[5:42:16] going, we should do a punk[5:42:18] case together.[5:42:20] What could we do?[5:42:22] What could we do?[5:42:24] Cigars?[5:42:26] Do you like cigars? Not really.[5:42:28] Do you want to do a cigar[5:42:30] themed show? Cigars[5:42:32] are really in right now. I mean[5:42:34] this is just. Someone said my[5:42:36] jaw dropped when he said two guys[5:42:38] two cigars. Wow.[5:42:40] And if you know anything about Red Bart.[5:42:42] Hear that Ari? We are[5:42:44] truly embarrassed by all the cigar[5:42:46] humor that these comics[5:42:48] have turned into. This world is turning[5:42:50] into one giant ashtray for these cigar[5:42:52] comics.[5:42:54] Anyway so[5:42:56] I decided to continue[5:42:58] that spite and in that movie[5:43:00] Anyways you can go to[5:43:02] if you want to see the start[5:43:04] but it's just one of those long starts[5:43:06] where they're all fumble about. Yeah because I want to[5:43:08] talk about that too. So what's the start here?[5:43:10] I think it's where that line is. Can you see?[5:43:12] Where that line is.[5:43:14] Stop yet. Like right after.[5:43:16] Oh yeah there's a line. Sorry I didn't write that time down.[5:43:18] I'm dumb. So check this out.[5:43:20] It's a false start. And I got to talk[5:43:22] about this. It's time.[5:43:24] Watch this. What did you do last[5:43:26] time? Alright we're on. Are we live?[5:43:28] This is it? Are you rolling on[5:43:30] all the cameras? Are we live?[5:43:32] A phrase that[5:43:34] needs to stop.[5:43:38] How many[5:43:40] fucking[5:43:42] one of these shows[5:43:44] How many of these shows do we have to hear[5:43:46] this phrase? Are we live or are we rolling?[5:43:48] I can't believe we're actually[5:43:50] You should start like this. Yes and[5:43:52] stop starting like this.[5:43:54] So this is what I suspect is happening.[5:43:56] These comics don't know[5:43:58] what to say at the beginning because they[5:44:00] haven't given their podcast any thought.[5:44:02] It's just a chat show. So[5:44:04] this is how most podcasts work.[5:44:06] The comedian spends all[5:44:08] week in bed doing zilch[5:44:10] or gallivanting[5:44:12] and then their podcast[5:44:14] issues up and they just simply[5:44:16] show up.[5:44:18] And then they just[5:44:20] talk just like you would talk[5:44:22] at a lunch.[5:44:24] This is what they call content. It blows[5:44:26] my mind. And they all do this thing[5:44:28] because they can't really start because[5:44:30] they'd have to plan a start.[5:44:32] Do you see? So in order[5:44:34] for a show to have an opening you kind of have to[5:44:36] plan one for five seconds.[5:44:38] So instead of doing that they just let[5:44:40] cameras roll[5:44:42] and then the guest always goes[5:44:44] Are we actually live? No it's[5:44:46] I mean if that's what you do with me[5:44:48] How many times here we must[5:44:50] witness this charade? And then[5:44:52] the host is always like yeah I came up[5:44:54] with that. You didn't.[5:44:56] I hate[5:44:58] false starts. That's what I[5:45:00] call them. What'd you do last time? Alright we're[5:45:02] on. Are we live? This is it?[5:45:04] Are you rolling on all the cameras? Yeah.[5:45:06] I feel like because you're[5:45:08] so disorganized. And why do they say that?[5:45:10] Like are we live? Are we rolling?[5:45:12] Why? Because you just don't know[5:45:14] what else to say? Who cares?[5:45:16] How about as soon as you pick up a[5:45:18] microphone you're being recorded.[5:45:20] Just keep it like that.[5:45:22] They always gotta say. Now Joe List[5:45:24] the reason we're here today is because Joe[5:45:26] List is showing off.[5:45:28] He is so[5:45:30] excite. So this is the lowest point[5:45:32] of Louie's career. Yet the[5:45:34] highest point of Joe List.[5:45:36] So what happened is Joe List is Louie's[5:45:38] opener. Louie's a pathetic bum[5:45:40] who's afraid to hang out with anybody from his[5:45:42] former life. So he has to hang out[5:45:44] with guys like Joe List[5:45:46] who will oh I didn't even hear[5:45:48] what happened with the master. I didn't even hear[5:45:50] him. To me it's just you're the same.[5:45:52] So[5:45:54] it's much easier for wimps[5:45:56] like Louie to hang out with Joe List[5:45:58] because it's not challenging.[5:46:00] And you don't have to be afraid. You're still[5:46:02] like way above him[5:46:04] and the guy's gonna suck[5:46:06] up to you whereas other people are looking at you[5:46:08] like you jacked.[5:46:10] You know so Joe List sucks up to him[5:46:12] treats him like the old Louie and that's that.[5:46:14] So they make a movie. Joe List is[5:46:16] the star. Louie spends what 200k[5:46:18] big fucking whoop[5:46:20] and makes this terrible movie[5:46:22] but to Joe List this is like[5:46:24] he's the star of the next[5:46:28] Garden State. Guardians[5:46:30] of the Galaxy. You know[5:46:32] he really thinks he's the next big thing[5:46:34] but Louie is sitting there like oh this pathetic[5:46:36] movie. When will it end? I gotta promote this[5:46:38] fucking movie. Get my money back and figure[5:46:40] out a fucking plan. Joe List is like[5:46:42] I'm the star of a movie![5:46:44] And[5:46:46] Louie's like uh[5:46:48] how did I get here[5:46:50] cause I'm such a wimp.[5:46:52] Keep eating ice cream Louie. See what happens.[5:46:54] So that's kind of what we're gonna[5:46:56] experience today and this is the[5:46:58] opening. Let's see. Guys when we got here. You're not wrong.[5:47:00] I just assume you're retarded right now.[5:47:02] I mean you're not wrong. I've missed a lot of podcasts[5:47:04] before. And that camera seems to be pointing[5:47:06] we get at the cameras[5:47:08] the cameras. Louie doesn't want to be here.[5:47:10] He can't take his eyes off of[5:47:12] Karen though of course. Why would[5:47:14] you seat a girl in a[5:47:16] fucking bra? I know[5:47:18] it's a sports bra but to Louie that is a fully[5:47:20] naked woman. Louie is[5:47:22] sitting there trying not[5:47:24] to look. He's a sex criminal.[5:47:26] This is like me going to the beach[5:47:28] with jewels. Um do they[5:47:30] have any sunglasses that make my eyes[5:47:32] permanently dark as[5:47:34] fuck so I could look this way but[5:47:36] I pretend I'm talking to you.[5:47:38] Louie CK is[5:47:40] taken. But here[5:47:42] I'll show you. Watch.[5:47:44] He's acting like that you know. Oh[5:47:46] sure. I think that's happened a lot.[5:47:48] Watch.[5:47:50] Goodfellas. Really?[5:47:52] Okay so he[5:47:54] look at him.[5:47:56] And they're like you know I'm like[5:47:58] the me too masturbate[5:48:00] can't control myself[5:48:02] around women guy right? So[5:48:04] like this is probably not[5:48:06] the best. And he's[5:48:08] probably seen all of her ludes, her[5:48:10] explicit. Right?[5:48:12] So this is uncomfortable.[5:48:14] He didn't film the movie. No no[5:48:16] he did. I've seen it. I've seen Goodfellas.[5:48:18] He's very stiff. He's trying to[5:48:20] be like cool but he's ashamed[5:48:22] because he's so old and fat and he don't really[5:48:24] dress to be flirting with a woman[5:48:26] today. It's that[5:48:28] kind of fucking thing.[5:48:30] He can't[5:48:32] resist. I mean[5:48:34] he threw[5:48:36] Bobby from[5:48:38] King of the[5:48:40] Hill. The girl who plays Bobby from[5:48:42] King of the Hill. He threw her against a[5:48:44] wall in his own show and like basically[5:48:46] raped her. If he[5:48:48] likes that chick then he's gonna[5:48:50] love this chick[5:48:52] right?[5:48:54] I mean that girl was way older and uglier and[5:48:56] he raped her. Can we clear[5:48:58] something up? Yeah sure. Did Louis[5:49:00] ever block the door?[5:49:02] Yeah[5:49:04] Jules wants to know, dude I don't think[5:49:06] he ever blocked. I think there was wine. See that's what[5:49:08] I mean about these me too's.[5:49:10] You could be like involved in a me too where it's[5:49:12] like he touched my shoulder.[5:49:14] It was weird. And then[5:49:16] at the end of the day you're going he[5:49:18] blocked the door right? And like held[5:49:20] her like this. Cause in my mind he[5:49:22] blocked a door but[5:49:24] that might have been Weinstein[5:49:26] Stein. That's why you can't be[5:49:28] involved in any of it. Here cut to the TV[5:49:30] line. Karen why'd you do that?[5:49:32] Karen. I'm named after that. Why did you[5:49:34] do that Karen?[5:49:36] Oh he's dead.[5:49:38] He died. He reminds me of a[5:49:40] nervous Sam Hyde.[5:49:42] Have you ever seen one Sam Hyde's a bit nervous?[5:49:44] Which is like always[5:49:46] now. Have you ever seen that? Where Sam[5:49:48] Hyde's like yeah yeah what's up man?[5:49:50] What's up?[5:49:52] Fuck. What have I got myself into[5:49:54] here? That's like what Louis looks like.[5:49:56] There's a little glimpse. Does anyone[5:49:58] know what I'm talking about with that? And look at this[5:50:00] fool's sit.[5:50:02] And look at what his body's[5:50:04] become. He's just like ugh.[5:50:06] Look at his fucking arm.[5:50:08] And to me he's just[5:50:10] a pathetic loser. And Joe List is not in the[5:50:12] white. Like Joe List thinks this is like[5:50:14] cigars, limousines, money.[5:50:16] Like this is the best day[5:50:18] of his life. And then you got this asshole.[5:50:20] Hey pour[5:50:22] one out. So sorry.[5:50:24] Acne scarring. It'll kill you.[5:50:26] He's trying to be cool. So this is[5:50:28] it. Look at him.[5:50:30] And he doesn't want to be there.[5:50:32] Now lots of other people are remembering that[5:50:34] the door blocking too.[5:50:36] But the Kevin Freguli says it[5:50:38] might be something that you just said.[5:50:40] And that's why we all remember it. But he[5:50:42] could have really blocked a door. So it's up in the air.[5:50:44] And guys[5:50:46] he did two funny things his whole[5:50:48] life. Shut up with him already.[5:50:50] Get over it. You guys like[5:50:52] stick to these guys like glue[5:50:54] forever. There's no way to get them to[5:50:56] you will never be mad at them[5:50:58] no matter how stupid they get.[5:51:00] And that makes me mad.[5:51:02] Alright I'm your host.[5:51:04] This is Skeptic Tank.[5:51:06] And this is bullshit.[5:51:08] Listen to this stupid podcast.[5:51:10] And look at these dumb hat boys.[5:51:12] Look at the Hat Brothers.[5:51:14] Look at this fucking fool.[5:51:16] This is like two little[5:51:18] thirteen year old boys that are out[5:51:20] at the beach with their like older sister[5:51:22] who's forced to babysit them.[5:51:24] You can see it like they don't even give a[5:51:26] shit. Like I always wonder what[5:51:28] would it be like to just show up and just[5:51:30] not give a fuck about anything.[5:51:32] You know like I mean I don't know if I just[5:51:34] showed up and just had lotion out, a pile[5:51:36] of core. I mean nobody even[5:51:38] gives it two seconds.[5:51:40] You ever had company over?[5:51:42] You ever straightened up for company?[5:51:44] These podcasts are company.[5:51:46] Clean up.[5:51:48] You can't arrange a cup here[5:51:50] and just arrange. Show me you put[5:51:52] a second into[5:51:54] setting something up.[5:51:56] I mean you can't be bothered to put on a shirt.[5:51:58] This is like what he rolled out of bed[5:52:00] wearing. And then just threw a[5:52:02] lotion. Everybody's got their own sunblock[5:52:04] because God forbid[5:52:06] Joe List sees the sun[5:52:08] during summer.[5:52:10] What's happened to the last Lacroix?[5:52:12] Lacroix. I brought two.[5:52:14] Oh and can every show stop talking[5:52:16] about Lacroix's?[5:52:18] Lacroix's?[5:52:20] We get it. It's a sparkling[5:52:22] water beverage that came out[5:52:24] 70 years ago that you all of a sudden are[5:52:26] obsessed with. It's not a funny[5:52:28] drink. The can[5:52:30] is ugly.[5:52:32] I don't like watching it on shows.[5:52:34] Every show. Lacroix.[5:52:36] I'm into Lacroix. From[5:52:38] Jeff FM to the Comedy Boys[5:52:40] they're all, oh I'm[5:52:42] actually into. That's like my[5:52:44] special funny thing that I'm into[5:52:46] Lacroix a lot. No.[5:52:48] Everyone's into it a lot. I fucking can't[5:52:50] stand it. I'm stuffing[5:52:52] myself with root beers just to be a[5:52:54] contrarian by the way. You know how many[5:52:56] barks I've had this month?[5:52:58] And I don't even like barks.[5:53:00] I prefer A&W[5:53:02] and the vanilla-ness[5:53:04] and softness of its drink.[5:53:06] Alright. Watch these retards.[5:53:08] It's good.[5:53:10] You only told me to bring one[5:53:12] and I brought two.[5:53:14] We're here. First and foremost[5:53:16] we replaced Louis. We did this[5:53:18] podcast like a year ago?[5:53:20] No. A month ago? Three weeks ago.[5:53:22] With Karen and another Louis.[5:53:24] Louis J Gomez is what they're talking about[5:53:26] and Ari will remind you[5:53:28] 70 times that last year[5:53:30] they did a podcast on the roof but Louis[5:53:32] was there and now they've replaced[5:53:34] him with Louis.[5:53:36] Isn't that funny? He'll let you know[5:53:38] about 70 times. That's about the highlight[5:53:40] of the funniest thing that's happened on this show.[5:53:42] Do we skip forward here and show[5:53:44] our first code?[5:53:46] You can go to[5:53:48] 945 which is my first time code that[5:53:50] reads Joe starts with a cigar.[5:53:52] Okay. And yeah[5:53:54] look at Joe with his cigar.[5:53:56] I don't think anyone else is[5:53:58] having a cigar today. Maybe Ari.[5:54:00] But[5:54:02] if Louis ain't smoking[5:54:04] then it means he thinks you smoking[5:54:06] it is foolish. So don't do it around Louis[5:54:08] if you're trying to show off.[5:54:10] So Joe List who doesn't[5:54:12] smoke cigars but is on[5:54:14] a huge mission to prove[5:54:16] he is in fact a man.[5:54:18] And I'll tell you why. That's like[5:54:20] easy. That sounds like something Ethan would say about[5:54:22] just a generic cigar guy. Uh uh.[5:54:24] You don't hear me say that a lot.[5:54:26] Joe List[5:54:28] and I've caught him[5:54:30] he tried to run a bit last[5:54:32] week on Mark Norman's[5:54:34] Tuesdays with Normans[5:54:36] and it was[5:54:38] oh yeah I was actually cool[5:54:40] in high school he was trying to like[5:54:42] retell history pretending that[5:54:44] he got glasses[5:54:46] because he burned his eye[5:54:48] or yeah he said he got glasses[5:54:50] because he was dared to open his[5:54:52] eyes in a hot tub and[5:54:54] before he did that he was cool[5:54:56] and everyone thinks he's a[5:54:58] nerd. Anyway my findings[5:55:00] lead me to believe[5:55:02] that Joe List is on an insecurity[5:55:04] tour to prove[5:55:06] that he is in fact not the[5:55:08] geek that everyone[5:55:10] treats him as. So I think the[5:55:12] cigar thing is really something that[5:55:14] he's trying to do to show, Lex I'm a cigar[5:55:16] and here's the thing[5:55:18] unless your finger is as fat as a[5:55:20] cigar don't even bother picking it up.[5:55:22] You look ridiculous.[5:55:24] It's not meant for everyone[5:55:26] to smoke.[5:55:28] Okay? There's skies that are[5:55:30] built for cigars. You're not[5:55:32] one of them and it looks stupid[5:55:34] just watch.[5:55:36] Oh we replaced Lewis. We did this[5:55:38] podcast like a year ago.[5:55:40] And he wants everyone to know you know it's one of these[5:55:42] sneaky podcast things too where you[5:55:44] see four guys on a podcast and there's[5:55:46] always one person trying to bring the attention[5:55:48] to them but they don't have the guts to actually ask[5:55:50] for it. So what they do is they start[5:55:52] like people will be talking about something and then[5:55:54] you'll see one of the guys go[5:55:58] and you're going do you want some[5:56:00] attention? This[5:56:02] happens on like every podcast with four[5:56:04] guys right? So[5:56:06] Joe List is going to they're all talking about something[5:56:08] Joe List is wants people to[5:56:10] bring it back to him and the cigars.[5:56:12] Oh a month ago[5:56:14] three weeks ago with Karen and[5:56:16] another Lewis and[5:56:18] Joe so we just replaced Lewis.[5:56:20] Lewis Gomez with Lewis[5:56:22] UK. The better Lewis.[5:56:24] Not only was Lewis cut out of this[5:56:26] podcast he was also cut out of this new movie.[5:56:28] And he's like Joe Rogan he wants[5:56:30] to get that[5:56:32] it's more about the cigar like[5:56:34] Joe Rogan when he does a podcast[5:56:36] and he quickly goes oh you want to drink?[5:56:38] Here here here here here. Oh you[5:56:40] smoking weed? Here it's all here.[5:56:42] You've been thinking about that part all day.[5:56:44] So that's[5:56:46] you more want to drink and smoke[5:56:48] than do a show.[5:56:50] And Joe List has been[5:56:52] thinking about I'm going to be on a roof[5:56:54] with Lewis UK on the day[5:56:56] of my movie release and I'm going to be smoking[5:56:58] a cigar. And he had this idea[5:57:00] of what was going to happen today. So you[5:57:02] notice as soon as that shows up[5:57:04] shows up. Great. And that's probably[5:57:06] why he asked if we were live because he doesn't want to[5:57:08] start his cigar unboxing[5:57:10] and cutting until it's being[5:57:12] recorded. He wants people[5:57:14] to see him using that[5:57:16] cigar.[5:57:18] This is what's happening. So[5:57:20] OK let's see it.[5:57:22] If you're going to smoke a cigar and you've been planning it all[5:57:24] weekend throw on like a cigar[5:57:26] worthy tea and maybe[5:57:28] comb over your hair and don't wear a[5:57:30] hat. You don't look good.[5:57:32] So light this cigar up.[5:57:34] 4th of July.[5:57:36] Did[5:57:38] you bring the dates?[5:57:40] The places?[5:57:42] You know I'm right. July 6th.[5:57:44] July 6th. When will this be out?[5:57:46] July 7th. 5th. Yeah tomorrow.[5:57:48] I'll do it a day early.[5:57:52] He's doing the cigar cutter but he definitely[5:57:54] wants people to know.[5:57:56] He's not going to cut that cigar without it being[5:57:58] a moment. 5th.[5:58:00] Yeah tomorrow. I'll do it a day[5:58:02] early. I'll do it a day early. You've got a couple[5:58:04] days. We've got a bunch of places to see the[5:58:06] film. We're very[5:58:08] good at promoting. So this was like what you guys did[5:58:10] over COVID instead of[5:58:12] getting drunk every day.[5:58:14] Everybody else. We wrote a movie.[5:58:16] There's a film. We wrote this movie[5:58:18] I guess it was over COVID.[5:58:20] It was COVID. It was like super. So Louis is on these[5:58:22] and he's like can we just get. And he wants[5:58:24] to boomer explain[5:58:26] every day. He could easily just go[5:58:28] brand new movie. Check it[5:58:30] out at louisck.com. All the dates[5:58:32] are there. But instead he goes so[5:58:34] we're going to be in Philadelphia at[5:58:36] 730. Minneapolis[5:58:38] at 810 at Cineplex[5:58:40] 12.[5:58:42] Poughkeepsie[5:58:44] Universal Boardwalk.[5:58:46] Shut the fuck up[5:58:48] Pathetico.[5:58:50] Let's see when he does that. COVID yeah.[5:58:52] Yeah. Can they hear him.[5:58:54] I feel like your mic is like six feet away.[5:58:56] You look like Bob Barker. I have to go like[5:58:58] this the whole time.[5:59:00] Something. This is good enough right.[5:59:02] Yeah I think you're good enough. I'll just turn it up a little.[5:59:04] Who knows. Listen guys none of us[5:59:06] are professional here. It was COVID.[5:59:08] Should be. Well it was February[5:59:10] 2021 is when[5:59:12] we wrote it. That's smart. Let's start[5:59:14] showing you some of the[5:59:16] grossness that we've discovered[5:59:18] here while watching this last night.[5:59:20] OK. Give me my next code.[5:59:22] Unless this was a code.[5:59:24] No I think we're good. You can[5:59:26] the next two codes[5:59:28] I have are cigar related.[5:59:30] OK I'll do one cigar.[5:59:32] 14 minutes.[5:59:34] This is him when he actually gets it lit.[5:59:36] Wow so 14 minutes and he finally gets this[5:59:38] sucker lit.[5:59:40] Is that your friend?[5:59:42] Oh that's Louis C.K. Whistling.[5:59:44] OK. We said that to the episode trick.[5:59:46] So then what happened next.[5:59:48] So then I said I just really want to make a movie[5:59:50] and so we started talking about ideas[5:59:52] for movies.[5:59:54] No. You wouldn't let[5:59:56] anyone else like come on your podcast[5:59:58] and just let them like plug[6:00:00] their project the[6:00:02] whole show and that's all you talk[6:00:04] about. Again they give[6:00:06] Louis so much[6:00:08] they really still bow to him[6:00:10] as if he's the great and powerful[6:00:12] Louis from before. But he's[6:00:14] not. And Louis should know better.[6:00:16] Like Louis if you had a podcast would you want[6:00:18] some guy that you're not getting[6:00:20] any money you're not involved in the movie would you want[6:00:22] them coming on and just reading[6:00:24] 20 minutes of Cineplex[6:00:26] locations.[6:00:28] Like don't you have[6:00:30] any respect for this podcast or you just[6:00:32] think it's such trash that you could just[6:00:34] sit here and as long as you get through[6:00:36] the notes you made[6:00:38] to sell these movie tickets that it's all fine.[6:00:40] Shame on everybody involved.[6:00:42] Script for a movie.[6:00:44] Here's a cigar.[6:00:46] We talked about[6:00:50] a married couple with grown kids[6:00:52] and he talked[6:00:54] about confronting parents[6:00:56] and he got really interested in the idea of like[6:00:58] parents who get confronted[6:01:00] and what happens to them. Like how does[6:01:02] that feel? Like what he's more[6:01:04] interested in what happened after he leaves the room[6:01:06] somebody says you ruined my life[6:01:08] and then leaves.[6:01:10] Are you listening to Louis because he keeps[6:01:12] fake listening to Louis and then he'll[6:01:14] dart down to the[6:01:16] cigar[6:01:18] and he's really been acting like[6:01:20] an ADD kid.[6:01:22] Really immature lately.[6:01:24] You'll see. What happens to those[6:01:26] two people? What is it like for them?[6:01:28] And that became interesting to me.[6:01:30] So we started writing so we started writing[6:01:32] so we yeah that was I mean that's kind of[6:01:34] how do you guys write? Do you like call each other[6:01:36] on the phone and like type away? Well we had a lot of[6:01:38] conversations about it and one thing I mean[6:01:40] one thing I do is like turn on voice[6:01:42] memos on the phone and just talk[6:01:44] about the movie.[6:01:46] Just talk[6:01:48] about in every direction possible.[6:01:50] Who's in it? She finally gets[6:01:52] the guts to[6:01:54] light the cigar. He's gonna jump in the[6:01:56] deep end and[6:01:58] I don't think he's ever[6:02:00] worked with a cigar before because[6:02:02] he seems very nervous[6:02:04] about this which defeats[6:02:06] the whole purpose. There's no nervousness[6:02:08] in cigars.[6:02:10] You gotta fucking own the course[6:02:12] and you're[6:02:14] a fucking weaselly nerdy[6:02:16] mess. You are not cool.[6:02:18] Let's watch him[6:02:20] do this.[6:02:22] Well we had a lot of conversations[6:02:24] about it and one thing I mean one thing I do[6:02:26] is like turn on voice memos[6:02:28] on the phone. You've decided that this[6:02:30] conversation is not. Or he's putting on sunscreen.[6:02:32] Do that in advance.[6:02:34] Imagine if we started the show[6:02:36] and I'm just putting on sunscreen. I mean that would be[6:02:38] cool here. It'd be a visual[6:02:40] cinematic masterpiece.[6:02:42] But look he's looking[6:02:44] down. Never look down[6:02:46] at your cigarette. It shows[6:02:48] weakness. You know I've always[6:02:50] talked about it like this. This is how you know somebody[6:02:52] doesn't really smoke when they go, oh man can I have a[6:02:54] cigarette? Thanks so much.[6:03:02] Oh it's good.[6:03:04] Did you inhale?[6:03:06] I did yeah.[6:03:08] And then you catch him.[6:03:14] You don't smoke![6:03:20] Look at this asshole.[6:03:22] And just talk about[6:03:24] the movie. Just talk[6:03:26] about in every direction possible.[6:03:28] Who's in it?[6:03:30] What kind of scenes? What is this?[6:03:32] And then um.[6:03:34] Who's not in it?[6:03:36] Do you like it? Not that good.[6:03:38] Not that good.[6:03:40] Not[6:03:42] as. Didn't really do anything[6:03:44] did it?[6:03:46] Bandaidy.[6:03:48] Rubber bandy.[6:03:50] Not that good huh?[6:03:52] And then I[6:03:54] puke.[6:03:56] That's cool. Also it's funny because[6:03:58] we never read those did we? Never once.[6:04:00] We had like three.[6:04:06] You've opened yourself[6:04:08] to people online. It's disgusting.[6:04:10] Um okay[6:04:12] what's our next code here? Um if you wanted[6:04:14] to hear the part about Louis reading the dates[6:04:16] that was at 6-20. 6-20?[6:04:18] The first time I think. Yeah. 6 minutes?[6:04:20] So I think we accidentally skipped past it the first time.[6:04:22] Oh okay yeah let's see him. 6-20[6:04:24] I'm still seeing Mr. Shafir.[6:04:26] So[6:04:28] They changed something.[6:04:30] Fuck. Hold on one second. Let me find it.[6:04:32] Let's see if he can find this unless it was in the cold opening.[6:04:34] No?[6:04:36] Okay I'll get that code.[6:04:38] I fucked up. So what's our next code while you[6:04:40] get that code?[6:04:42] 1915.[6:04:44] These are all kind of like little ones[6:04:46] of Joe being a show off to set them up.[6:04:48] Yeah cause we really want to focus on the[6:04:50] showing off that he's doing. It's really[6:04:52] horrendous. Okay here we go.[6:04:54] And this is your show off attempt?[6:04:56] Yeah. Kinda.[6:04:58] Okay well so we'll get the vibe.[6:05:00] Easy. Watch it.[6:05:02] We're all benefiting.[6:05:04] Mitch Fatale had that great joke.[6:05:06] Mitch Fatale I thought had amazing[6:05:08] bits. His one about little tits.[6:05:10] Oh does it? What's that word? I think it's really funny cause[6:05:12] he says he likes little tits cause they're more like[6:05:14] welcoming when you see them. Oh that's funny.[6:05:16] Like you see a pair of big tits and it's like a little off putting[6:05:18] little ones like hey how may we help you?[6:05:20] I had a joke that was not similar but how[6:05:22] I prefer small tits cause they're an investment.[6:05:24] They stay good longer. Big tits go bad.[6:05:26] Yeah. Sure. Eventually they're like[6:05:28] we're over here now. Big tits go bad.[6:05:30] What do you know about tits?[6:05:32] Shut the fuck up.[6:05:36] He's being a hot[6:05:38] shot here today telling his best[6:05:40] jokes. Oh I had a joke like[6:05:42] that. You'll see this builds.[6:05:44] Bad. Let me know if I skip around.[6:05:46] Just sag on away like it's uncomfortable.[6:05:48] Small tits are always there.[6:05:50] They're nice. Those will be good for another couple years[6:05:52] you know. Couple years.[6:05:54] Year and a half.[6:05:56] You took them six months away.[6:05:58] What the fuck.[6:06:00] I'm just being honest.[6:06:02] I got too much sun.[6:06:04] He's like when I first watched women's tennis[6:06:06] and I saw you could see their underwear I was like[6:06:08] oh my god. Nobody[6:06:10] say anything.[6:06:12] That's a good joke.[6:06:14] I'm really bombing with other people's shit.[6:06:16] Ooh.[6:06:18] All these comments like can you leave me.[6:06:20] Fools gagged me down.[6:06:22] Look at that.[6:06:24] Bombing. Trying to be a hot shot[6:06:26] with a cigar. That's a[6:06:28] fools drag. Look at this.[6:06:30] I'm really bombing with other people's shit.[6:06:32] Smoke that shit.[6:06:34] You leave my shit out of it if you're not going to tell her right.[6:06:36] A little inflection wouldn't kill you.[6:06:38] They have like underpants[6:06:40] attached. OK. Let's run through[6:06:42] some of these. Let's get to the important.[6:06:44] 2120.[6:06:46] Here we go.[6:06:48] And this is another show off moment.[6:06:50] It's building. Yeah.[6:06:52] OK. Let's see.[6:06:54] Kaitlyn Elizabeth Perry.[6:06:56] Did I tell you my story about[6:06:58] Billie Eilish? You hooked up with[6:07:00] Billie Eilish? I fucked Billie Eilish.[6:07:02] Yeah.[6:07:04] And Louie you could tell Louie's like this guy[6:07:06] never shuts up. I can't[6:07:08] wait till my[6:07:10] press run is over. What I think[6:07:12] is that Joe is trying to[6:07:14] like riff with Louie in a way[6:07:16] that shows everybody that he's extra[6:07:18] cool with Louie now. You're exactly[6:07:20] right. And Louie is annoyed by this.[6:07:22] Yes. So when Joe[6:07:24] is around Louie without anybody there[6:07:26] he's kind of Louie's[6:07:28] sub. Right? His little[6:07:30] assistant. Can I get you anything Louie please?[6:07:32] But then Louie notices[6:07:34] when Joe Lister's around the other comics[6:07:36] Joe Lister kind of[6:07:38] postures and pretends that him and Louie are[6:07:40] kind of on the same level.[6:07:42] Aren't you jealous Ari? Me and Louie[6:07:44] are kind of like the older guys[6:07:46] and you guys don't. So he goes[6:07:48] out of his way to like one up[6:07:50] Louie or to[6:07:52] kind of show that he's just[6:07:54] one of the guys with Louie.[6:07:56] And you could tell Louie is sitting there like[6:07:58] Enjoy it.[6:08:00] Are you enjoying this? Are you looking cool[6:08:02] in front of your friends?[6:08:04] So this is called showing[6:08:06] off in front[6:08:08] of your friends and there's nothing[6:08:10] more embarrassing than when you're caught[6:08:12] and this is why I know this is gonna pain Joe[6:08:14] Lister. Joe Lister you're trying to be[6:08:16] cool in front of your friends showing off your new[6:08:18] Louie. The disgraced Louie by the way[6:08:20] the masturbator her uterus refused[6:08:22] to believe that that really happened.[6:08:24] And[6:08:26] we've caught you[6:08:28] we see right through you and[6:08:30] there's nothing worse. Imagine if someone had two hours[6:08:32] of footage of you showing off[6:08:34] and they presented it to other people like that[6:08:36] it's humiliating and that's exactly[6:08:38] the angle I'm going for right here with this.[6:08:40] So yeah let's see[6:08:42] Bieber is probably pissed. Oh is there a thing?[6:08:44] No he's married.[6:08:46] He's married to what's-her-name fucking fucking[6:08:48] This is so dumb that she[6:08:50] thinks that Justin Bieber and Billie[6:08:52] Eilish are dating. Wow.[6:08:54] That is[6:08:56] is there anything worse than a girl who[6:08:58] isn't up to date on gossip?[6:09:00] Is there anything more a boomer girl[6:09:02] that's like being an n-word as a girl[6:09:04] to be a boomer as a girl?[6:09:06] She goes Justin Bieber isn't he[6:09:08] dating like Billie Eilish?[6:09:10] It's like. Nope.[6:09:12] Dude. That's[6:09:14] too unaware.[6:09:16] What[6:09:18] are you doing up in New York[6:09:20] that you don't know the answers to these common[6:09:22] questions? I fucked Billie Eilish.[6:09:24] Justin Bieber[6:09:26] is probably pissed. Oh is there a thing?[6:09:28] No he's married. He's married to[6:09:30] what's-her-name fucking fucking fuck[6:09:32] Mrs. Bieber. I think they were[6:09:34] she says.[6:09:36] No. I'm sorry. He's been[6:09:38] married for years.[6:09:40] And Billie Eilish before[6:09:42] he was married Billie Eilish was a child[6:09:44] I believe. So.[6:09:46] They've never even been[6:09:48] seen together.[6:09:50] Maybe once. In a concert.[6:09:52] Yes. There was a[6:09:54] yes at Coachella. Yes.[6:09:56] Nobody dates[6:09:58] Billie Eilish you idiot. Have you seen her?[6:10:00] She's so beast![6:10:02] Mrs. Bieber.[6:10:04] So she's an out of it fool. That to me[6:10:06] is enough. Okay what's our next Joel-ish moment[6:10:08] here?[6:10:10] Or the Louie part.[6:10:12] No that one's not good. You can skip it.[6:10:14] At 3120 you can[6:10:16] see them all called Joe and Narc.[6:10:18] Joe and Narc.[6:10:20] No I don't want to see that. Give me something better here.[6:10:22] Or Louie reading the[6:10:24] pathetic thing. 3915.[6:10:26] 3915. Okay. And then the next one[6:10:28] will be a good one with Louie reading.[6:10:30] Great. Here we go. Let's see what happens here.[6:10:32] Is my collar[6:10:34] a shirt collar? Is it straight?[6:10:36] And I said no. I'll fix it for you.[6:10:38] So I got behind him and I fixed his collar.[6:10:40] They're talking about a fat guy.[6:10:42] Fat guy. Because he can't feel[6:10:44] it. I had to come around front.[6:10:46] Oh god. I'd be like[6:10:48] I did it? You're good.[6:10:50] Wow. Is he dead? Yeah.[6:10:52] I got to assume that he couldn't keep[6:10:54] blood pumping through that[6:10:56] fucking mass. Those guys don't go to 60.[6:10:58] None of those guys see 60. No they don't.[6:11:00] He hit a wooden 2x4[6:11:02] in his car that held his seat up[6:11:04] from collapsing.[6:11:06] Whenever I go[6:11:08] is this podcast good or not?[6:11:10] Just imagine if you[6:11:12] had to sit there[6:11:14] and talk about this stuff with them.[6:11:16] Would that be fun to you?[6:11:18] Or would it be fake[6:11:20] talking to Phil a chore?[6:11:22] Alright let's see what happens.[6:11:24] I mean he was a big dude.[6:11:26] He was a big dude.[6:11:28] No problem. Just buy a 2x4.[6:11:30] Where's your 2x4? You guys don't have one?[6:11:32] You gotta have one.[6:11:34] I'm getting one when I get there.[6:11:36] He's like Charise to let you live as fat.[6:11:38] That's a moment where you're like[6:11:40] I can either consider this or I'm going full on.[6:11:42] The thing I loved about him[6:11:44] was that he would open[6:11:46] every night with crowd work.[6:11:48] He'd hit like bang like a fucking[6:11:50] gunslinger.[6:11:52] And like he goes[6:11:54] hey I remember all the ones he did.[6:11:56] Hey nice beard.[6:11:58] You look like you went[6:12:00] down on it and came up with it.[6:12:02] Hey nice chain.[6:12:04] Is that a Mr. T starter kit?[6:12:06] Hey look at those[6:12:08] guys look like[6:12:10] a million bucks. 6 zeros.[6:12:12] So he goes around.[6:12:14] But he goes around and I started to pay it[6:12:16] because it kills all these bits because he's so fast.[6:12:18] And I look, I watch[6:12:20] and I realize none of those people are there.[6:12:22] He points at anybody.[6:12:24] The only person that knows is the person that he points[6:12:26] at who goes like I'm not shaved this morning.[6:12:28] Like I'm not ever wearing that.[6:12:30] There's four of us and we're women.[6:12:32] Yeah we're three dudes and three chicks.[6:12:34] You look like amazing.[6:12:36] You killed them. I can't see them. Where are they?[6:12:38] Joe's looking to impress someone.[6:12:40] I can see it in his eyes.[6:12:42] What could I say to bring the attention[6:12:44] over to me? Remember the two by four thing?[6:12:46] I had a line for that. I didn't get it in.[6:12:48] He's fat saw Jim Duggan.[6:12:50] Damn I fucked him up again.[6:12:52] Ooh do you see what happened?[6:12:54] So like an hour ago[6:12:56] they were talking about some two by four[6:12:58] fat guy right? Yes.[6:13:00] And that story[6:13:02] ended. It came and went.[6:13:04] Louie was talking about this other horrendous[6:13:06] thing. But Joe[6:13:08] the whole time was thinking about his[6:13:10] addition to add.[6:13:12] This is very mark worthless.[6:13:14] So the[6:13:16] whole time Louie's talking to you he's not listening. He's coming[6:13:18] up with this hilarious joke.[6:13:20] By the way it's past it's[6:13:22] there's no time opportunity for this.[6:13:24] You gotta let it go. But he couldn't let it go[6:13:26] so he does this.[6:13:28] You killed them. I can't see them. Where are they?[6:13:30] Remember the two by four thing?[6:13:32] I had a line for that. I didn't get it in.[6:13:34] He's fat saw Jim Duggan.[6:13:36] Damn I fucked him up again.[6:13:38] Fat saw Jim Duggan. It's a play on words.[6:13:40] There was a wrestler[6:13:42] named hack saw Jim Duggan and his thing was he carried[6:13:44] a two by four. Someone out there[6:13:46] will get it. Oh for sure.[6:13:48] I gotta show you the pain in his eyes though.[6:13:50] Look at this when he finally says[6:13:52] it. And by the way all[6:13:54] of them are out of energy[6:13:56] because it sucks[6:13:58] and they don't like each other and they're on a roof.[6:14:00] And they're in the heat. They're in the heat.[6:14:02] They're sucking cigars. They were all so[6:14:04] pumped to do it to start.[6:14:06] And then they realize I don't like you. I don't like you.[6:14:08] I don't like you. I don't like you.[6:14:10] You're saying bad things. You're saying bad things.[6:14:12] Let's zoom in on his face and see[6:14:14] that really fail.[6:14:16] I like that. There's four of us[6:14:18] and we're women. We're three dudes and three[6:14:20] chicks. Look where it falls.[6:14:22] You killed them.[6:14:24] Where are they? Remember the two by four thing?[6:14:26] I had a line for that. Didn't get it in.[6:14:28] He's fat saw Jim Duggan.[6:14:30] Damn I fucked him up again.[6:14:32] Fat saw Jim Duggan. It's a play on words.[6:14:34] That's my favorite[6:14:36] still.[6:14:38] Look[6:14:40] at that idiot.[6:14:42] Look at you.[6:14:44] You're nothing.[6:14:48] Please, please God[6:14:50] I want this premiere to be over[6:14:52] because here's the deal. If Louie doesn't[6:14:54] sell enough tickets and this is coming up[6:14:56] wait till you see where he's playing. If he doesn't sell enough[6:14:58] tickets they stop running the show.[6:15:00] So he's like begging. He's going[6:15:02] on these pockets like begging and pleading[6:15:04] for all the fans to come out to watch[6:15:06] his movie so that they'll run it one more time[6:15:08] in the cineplex. Is that coming[6:15:10] up right after this bomb?[6:15:12] Here where Louie does that thing?[6:15:14] There was a wrestler[6:15:16] named Hacksaw Jim Duggan[6:15:18] and his thing was he carried a two by four.[6:15:20] Someone out there will get it.[6:15:22] Tweet at me.[6:15:24] Marisa put a Hacksaw Jim Duggan over the screen[6:15:26] with the two by four so we can see what you're talking about.[6:15:28] His gimmick was[6:15:30] he was the American guy. All American.[6:15:32] He'd carry a flag.[6:15:34] He's Shane Gillis now.[6:15:36] That's exactly what it is.[6:15:38] Even as a kid his thing was thumbs up.[6:15:40] So when does this part come up?[6:15:42] When he starts doing the thing?[6:15:44] You know?[6:15:46] Oh this was...you didn't change the next time code yet.[6:15:48] Sorry I thought you were looking for something.[6:15:50] I go to 45-30.[6:15:52] 45-30. Sorry at the end of these shows[6:15:54] I start getting mad at the fool and I want them[6:15:56] to shut the fuck up.[6:15:58] 49-30?[6:16:00] Yeah. 45-30.[6:16:02] 45-30. Okay these are dreadful for me so[6:16:04] please just give me the best ones here.[6:16:06] Listening to them[6:16:08] Reliving this is actually hell.[6:16:10] You're my asshole.[6:16:12] And Nick goes, yeah keep me posted will ya?[6:16:14] I can't.[6:16:16] They're all just like...[6:16:18] And then the other one was[6:16:20] we were in a similar situation when we were watching TV[6:16:22] and I was chewing gum really loud[6:16:24] and he let me go for like[6:16:26] 20 minutes and then he goes[6:16:28] how's that gum?[6:16:30] Okay.[6:16:32] I said this at every chance I can.[6:16:34] Nick DePaulo is the single funniest person.[6:16:36] God dammit.[6:16:38] Nick DePaulo the single funniest person.[6:16:40] I don't have any notes in front of me[6:16:42] I don't know what the point of these are[6:16:44] until you give me good ones here.[6:16:46] I don't even know what we're listening for here.[6:16:48] I think he's about to start talking about the theater.[6:16:50] When we were shooting the movie[6:16:52] that we're promoting.[6:16:54] He's in it. He's fantastic in it.[6:16:56] Well we can't tell that story though[6:16:58] because it's making fun of[6:17:00] somebody who exists.[6:17:02] Ah fuck it.[6:17:04] There was a guy in the movie[6:17:06] he's a great guy. His name is Richard.[6:17:08] Very very old fella.[6:17:10] This part?[6:17:12] I mean I'm like literally[6:17:14] just pleading with you to make this end[6:17:16] because I can't watch this damn show.[6:17:18] We've proven our point. He sucks.[6:17:20] They all fucking suck.[6:17:22] Okay you can go to 5830 as your final one.[6:17:24] 5830 I just can't listen to this.[6:17:26] I mean I'm going nuts.[6:17:28] I feel like I'm going to throw up.[6:17:30] 5830 Ari Shafir.[6:17:32] I'm happy to talk to them about their problems.[6:17:34] I'm not pretending like they're not here.[6:17:36] Can you reach your tits?[6:17:38] Whoa this was another[6:17:40] thing that we caught him doing.[6:17:42] He's being a sex[6:17:44] guy with her.[6:17:46] This is like the third titty comment.[6:17:48] Can we touch your tits? Can we fuck[6:17:50] you? He said earlier.[6:17:52] Right? He gets a little creepy[6:17:54] with Finn. The boys can't resist.[6:17:56] Let's hear that again.[6:17:58] Right here.[6:18:00] You can't pretend you're not there.[6:18:02] Because they're blocking out the sun[6:18:04] because they're so fat.[6:18:06] You can use them for shade.[6:18:08] I'm just gaining so much weight right now.[6:18:10] It's okay. You'll get back on track.[6:18:12] Didn't you?[6:18:14] He's fucking with you. You're fine.[6:18:16] It's bad.[6:18:18] Look at that. Louis just said I'm 250[6:18:20] now I'm gaining weight and then sulked.[6:18:22] That's pretty cool.[6:18:24] Opening[6:18:26] weekend of his movie.[6:18:28] Party![6:18:30] I'm 250 now.[6:18:32] Believe me. He's 350.[6:18:34] It's disgusting. Alright do I keep playing it from here?[6:18:36] Whoa.[6:18:38] That's halfway to 500.[6:18:40] You're closer to not weighing yourself than you are to still being overweight.[6:18:42] What's your favorite food right now?[6:18:44] You're closer to not being able to weigh yourself on an old scale.[6:18:46] I second that was.[6:18:48] Still being overweight.[6:18:50] If you're like 199[6:18:52] you're still overweight.[6:18:54] But if you're 301[6:18:56] the scale doesn't go up that much.[6:18:58] 250 and 50.[6:19:00] It's not a food scale.[6:19:02] This isn't a butcher shop.[6:19:04] Over 300. You're fucked.[6:19:06] It's not a luggage scale at the airport.[6:19:08] One of those. The doctor's ones.[6:19:10] When's the last time you weighed yourself?[6:19:12] I do it all the time.[6:19:14] Your contribution.[6:19:16] All the time.[6:19:18] It's been a while.[6:19:20] This has been brought to you[6:19:22] by Screeching Halt.[6:19:24] Everybody if you have a podcast you want to come to a...[6:19:26] Do you see what's happening in this podcast?[6:19:28] And again we're 59 minutes in[6:19:30] and look what the conversation has become.[6:19:32] Just watch how this actually does[6:19:34] grind to a halt. Watch this.[6:19:36] I do it all the time.[6:19:38] I do it all the time.[6:19:40] All the time.[6:19:42] Oh here? It's been a while.[6:19:44] This has been brought to you[6:19:46] by Screeching Halt.[6:19:48] Everybody if you have a podcast[6:19:50] you want to come to a Screeching Halt[6:19:52] I do it all the time.[6:19:54] As a producer Screech this thing to a halt.[6:19:56] So this is what I was going to ask about drugs.[6:19:58] Save the day. What did Joe list here?[6:20:00] Start talking. Start talking.[6:20:02] Just say anything. Please.[6:20:04] 59 minutes in and the best comics[6:20:06] in the world[6:20:08] can't come up with jack shit[6:20:10] to talk about except for movie dates[6:20:12] which I still haven't seen Louis[6:20:14] pathetically go over those.[6:20:16] I was dying for that to see Louis[6:20:18] dreadfully. I know. Well you skipped past it.[6:20:20] Fuck it. Are we done with this crap already?[6:20:22] If you've seen that you get the idea.[6:20:24] Thank you. Yes. Joe List[6:20:26] you suck.[6:20:28] Alright I got a little performance[6:20:30] here that I want to do for everybody. Cut to the[6:20:32] break thing and I'm going to show people[6:20:34] I got something special for them today.[6:20:36] A little love song[6:20:38] that I've prepared[6:20:40] and I think you'll[6:20:42] really enjoy this[6:20:44] here today.[6:20:46] Let me just get set up[6:20:48] and[6:20:50] you'll really enjoy this. Thank you[6:20:52] so much. Okay.[6:20:54] Thank you.[6:21:18] Could I look[6:21:20] in your eyes[6:21:24] or[6:21:30] do you think[6:21:32] of me[6:21:34] like[6:21:36] a dream[6:21:38] of you[6:21:44] do you wish[6:21:46] you were here[6:21:48] like[6:21:50] I wish[6:21:52] I was with you[6:21:54] oh[6:21:56] you've loved me[6:21:58] before[6:22:00] do you[6:22:02] love me[6:22:04] now[6:22:06] friends[6:22:18] when two hearts[6:22:20] have turned away[6:22:24] or[6:22:26] does it go on[6:22:32] it'd be strong[6:22:34] anyway[6:22:36] oh how[6:22:38] you've loved me[6:22:40] before[6:22:42] do you[6:22:44] love me[6:22:46] now[6:22:50] come back to me[6:22:52] right now[6:22:56] come on, come on[6:22:58] come back to me right[6:23:00] now[6:23:04] come on[6:23:34] come on, come on[6:23:36] come back to me[6:23:38] right now[6:23:42] come on, come on, come on[6:23:44] you've loved me[6:23:46] before[6:23:50] do you love me[6:23:52] now[6:23:54] now[6:23:56] you've loved me before[6:24:00] do you love[6:24:02] you've loved me[6:24:04] now