episode: RED BAR RADIO S19 E27
mentions
transcript
[0:00:00] 🎶🎶🎶🎶[0:00:19] 🎶🎶🎶🎶[0:00:37] Alright, I'm starting![0:00:38] I think, right? We're ready? We're rolling![0:00:43] Let me try this again.[0:00:45] 🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶[0:00:55] Okay, stop with all-[0:00:56] 🎶🎶🎶🎶[0:01:02] 🎶🎶 Mike makes your day[0:01:05] He brings you the world, the stars and the songs[0:01:10] 🎶🎶 Mike makes your day[0:01:14] He does what you'd like to do, he takes you around[0:01:18] 🎶🎶 Mike makes your day[0:01:24] 🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶[0:01:27] Hey everybody, welcome back to Redbar.[0:01:31] That's Jules' laptop, we'll all wait.[0:01:34] 🎶🎶🎶🎶[0:01:43] You know what would happen if we were at Steven Crowder's studio?[0:01:46] Do you know what Steven Crowder would do to you?[0:01:48] I feel like Landau right now.[0:01:51] Dave Landau does not know what he's in store for, working with that Steven Crowder.[0:01:56] You know, you can't disagree, you were watching this.[0:01:58] Do you know Steven Crowder and Dave Landau watched the entire John Leguizamo trial this morning?[0:02:03] The guy who mistakenly hurt George Floyd?[0:02:07] What's so fucking funny? Shut up with all the laughing.[0:02:10] I'm like so excited to be here.[0:02:12] We're very excited, hold on, let me get a thought out here.[0:02:15] Is my mic on? Test 1, 2, 3, 4, 5?[0:02:19] Test 1, 2, 3, 4, 5?[0:02:23] We've got a hilarious show for every- I was just saying Dave Landau, he's the new co-host of Crowder.[0:02:30] It's not like Kumiya where you can politely disagree with like, for instance, they were watching the trial.[0:02:37] I mean, really, working for Steven Crowder, it's like being a paralegal now.[0:02:42] You know, it's like working at a law firm.[0:02:44] I don't think Dave Landau really realized how much paperwork was going to be involved.[0:02:49] He thought he was, oh, I'll be the comedian.[0:02:51] They already don't want him making jokes.[0:02:54] They're already, you know, rolling their eyes at him, they're getting mad at him.[0:02:58] And, you know, there are all these conservative Christians, they're sitting there, do you know they're like rooting for the cop to get off?[0:03:04] Which is fine, I mean.[0:03:06] I think that's- I think it's great.[0:03:08] They're all rooting for the cop to get off and Landau's like, I just think that it's really wrong and I want the cop to go to jail.[0:03:15] And they're all sitting there like, what the fuck, shut the fuck up.[0:03:18] Crowder's sidekick is like, you think that he deserves 15 years in jail for doing his job?[0:03:23] And Landau's like, uh, I don't know what to say in this situation.[0:03:27] So he's going to have a talk- okay, let's just get the show rolling here today.[0:03:31] Oh, look at my beautiful parrot drink.[0:03:33] We just watched that, so it's on the mind.[0:03:35] Yeah, okay. Everything sounds okay here? It looks very low.[0:03:39] Is everybody at home, can you tell me if it sounds good and report to me if it sounds good?[0:03:43] Oh my God, why is it so small and beady?[0:03:44] Well, that's what I'm talking about here.[0:03:47] Ay-ay-ay, mama mia.[0:03:49] I'm doing terrible physically, by the way.[0:03:52] That's where I've been. I've been, believe it or not, this is the best day I've had in about eight or nine days.[0:04:00] I'm now a full nurse.[0:04:02] Yeah, I've been, you know, some bad news to start the show.[0:04:06] I've been basically in bed the entire week on kivas, okay?[0:04:10] Like thousands of milligrams of these kivas to keep me from blowing my head off.[0:04:16] The pain is so torturous now that I'm burying my head into pillows and screaming.[0:04:21] I want people to realize this isn't all my knee hurts. I'm not doing red bar.[0:04:25] It's really, really phenomenally.[0:04:31] Do I have permission to record the audio for proof?[0:04:34] Nope. We got to fix this situation here with the sound.[0:04:38] It's driving me nuts. We'll take a quick little break. We'll be right back.[0:04:42] Wait till you see the intro on this guy coming up here today.[0:04:46] Let me figure out what I can figure out here.[0:04:50] Input, input. That looks good.[0:04:53] People are saying that it sounds fine, if that means anything to you.[0:04:56] Yeah, it could definitely be my ears.[0:04:59] Yeah, so I'm, hold on, I'll be back in a second here.[0:05:02] I'm extremely fucked up, so you're going to have to bear with me today.[0:05:06] Like I said, I've been taking edibles to deal with the pain.[0:05:12] I mean, I might as well have just slept away the last eight days of my life here.[0:05:20] Okay, we'll deal with that soon.[0:05:22] I might as well have just slept away the last eight days of my life.[0:05:25] I really don't know what's been going on. I've kind of been in a haze.[0:05:30] So you've got the phenomenal, by the way, show notes here today.[0:05:34] And you'll keep me on track here today, all right, Julie?[0:05:39] Sure will, cutie.[0:05:42] Less bad news, more good news.[0:05:44] Let's see, I've got an exciting, a very exciting special coming up for you guys.[0:05:50] Not today. Today is going to be a normal show, but in a few days, I think.[0:05:53] We'll see how I'm feeling in a few days.[0:05:55] We're going to go with the flow today.[0:05:56] Yeah, we're going to go with the flow, but in a few days.[0:06:00] And wait till you see the gear I purchased for this event.[0:06:04] We have a special event coming up.[0:06:06] Yeah, we haven't done a special event in quite some time.[0:06:10] I would love to try Oxy. Send me money, pills, Oxy, I'm going to get.[0:06:14] By the way, if I was doing I saw some guy in the chip.[0:06:17] If I was doing Oxy's or using pain medication to to help me with this, I'd be I'd be dead.[0:06:24] Right. I don't think that you know how much I would need by now, how much I've been up to.[0:06:31] I mean, really, I think it's best to not even go down that path.[0:06:34] Thank you, Jules. Thank you for your concern.[0:06:41] Everything sounds really fucking low to me today, man.[0:06:44] All right. We've got a special coming up in a few days.[0:06:48] It's going to be for Scars Club members only.[0:06:50] We might even make it so you can't watch live unless your scars.[0:06:54] Did you see our last Scars Club episode?[0:06:56] No, I'm in a red bar radio dot net slash Scars Club.[0:07:02] What a great episode it had it all.[0:07:05] But this special we have coming up, which is super exciting, we've actually named it.[0:07:11] Nobody likes hot dogs.[0:07:17] Nobody likes hot dogs.[0:07:18] I think I've got some kind of infection as well.[0:07:21] This could be covid.[0:07:23] Probably just all the dust from not being here in here for so long.[0:07:27] I dusted this morning, actually.[0:07:30] Nobody likes hot dogs.[0:07:32] OK, so I came up with this idea on the last show.[0:07:34] I was rather drunk. I said, I bet I could eat about 150 hot dogs, 160 hot dogs.[0:07:39] They said, no, no, no, no, no.[0:07:43] But I think I'm up for the challenge.[0:07:46] So what did we come up with?[0:07:47] We came up with this concept where we're going to watch.[0:07:50] We've got so much big Mike.[0:07:52] You guys know Big Mike from Impulsion.[0:07:55] You can pretty much watch every minute of content that Big Mike puts out.[0:07:59] Find something to say about it.[0:08:00] That's factual. Thank you.[0:08:02] I'm a lawyer now, so I'm trying to adjust my vocabulary to make it more adult.[0:08:07] Factual. Thank you.[0:08:10] You studious now.[0:08:12] We're going to watch all this stuff.[0:08:14] You know, for like six months, we've been putting Big Mike stuff in the notes and we never really get to it.[0:08:20] So we're going to have a big Mike hot dog eating competition show.[0:08:29] We salute you, America. We salute you and all the troops.[0:08:34] You know, we live out here in the country now.[0:08:37] They really like the troops are a whole different thing.[0:08:40] What I hear about Iraq the other day.[0:08:42] I was in Iraq.[0:08:43] Some country song.[0:08:45] Some country song came on the radio or TV and they got lines of their stuff like this.[0:08:51] Better than being in Baghdad.[0:08:55] Sick of being in Iraq.[0:08:57] And I'm going, that doesn't sound.[0:08:59] It's not like a good lyric.[0:09:01] It's like, really?[0:09:02] It's like a punch in the face to hear the word Baghdad or Iraq in a song.[0:09:06] I hadn't been listening to country music, to new country music.[0:09:09] They're in fact saying this all the time.[0:09:11] Stuff like this.[0:09:12] I don't want to get shipped into Afghanistan.[0:09:15] You know, stuff like that.[0:09:17] That's really odd.[0:09:19] Yeah, I come from a place where we despise the troops.[0:09:22] I bet down here they all think they're cool.[0:09:24] Hate those troops.[0:09:25] Love war.[0:09:26] Don't get it twisted.[0:09:27] Love war.[0:09:29] I want to see the missiles go up.[0:09:31] So we're going to do.[0:09:32] Are people excited about nobody likes hot dogs?[0:09:34] This special here.[0:09:35] Excited.[0:09:36] Now, did we have any other?[0:09:37] What were the, why is it called nobody likes hot dogs?[0:09:40] I think there's got to be something.[0:09:43] Nobody likes onions.[0:09:44] And we just said nobody likes hot dogs about the hot dog competition.[0:09:48] And then we were like, you could refer to Big Mike as a hot dog.[0:09:52] If it was an Archie.[0:09:53] That's what it is.[0:09:54] Okay.[0:09:55] He's like a hot dog.[0:09:56] Yeah.[0:09:57] Big Mike.[0:09:58] His attitude is like a hot dog, right?[0:09:59] Like a ham.[0:10:00] Yes.[0:10:01] So yeah, nobody likes hot dogs.[0:10:02] It's the Big Mike special.[0:10:03] And then at the end of that special, I will be probably eating about 165 hot dogs.[0:10:10] These are going to be all beef Franks.[0:10:12] We've decided the first 75 hot dogs will be mustard, onion, bun, and hot dog only.[0:10:21] And then I think we're going to skip to just dog and bun for the remaining 75 hot dogs[0:10:26] or so.[0:10:27] Doesn't that sound fun?[0:10:28] I think so.[0:10:29] And we're going to make this a visual delight for you coming up.[0:10:35] So get your Scars Club prescriptions ready at redbarradio.net slash scars and get ready[0:10:42] for this epic event.[0:10:43] It's not going to be eight hours.[0:10:44] Do you like my drink?[0:10:45] Can I have some of that grapefruit to pour in here?[0:10:49] You got it right there.[0:10:50] Right next to you.[0:10:51] Right next to you, Jules.[0:10:52] Oh, thank you.[0:10:53] Sorry.[0:10:54] I'm taking out all my I'm really like a mess here today.[0:10:58] So if Jules is like a millisecond slow, she's fucking getting pummeled today.[0:11:03] But you know, somebody is going to get yelled.[0:11:05] That's why I like Louis J Gama is she's got some skanky could yell at all day.[0:11:09] These people always get uncomfortable when I yell at you as if I don't mind.[0:11:14] No fucking shit.[0:11:16] And no one's going to stop me like.[0:11:19] All right, so we're going to fill this up here.[0:11:22] I pre-made all the vegetables here.[0:11:25] Parsley.[0:11:27] You're not supposed to tell them that.[0:11:28] That's just, you know, it's like, you know, they do a commercial for Burger King and stuff[0:11:33] like that.[0:11:34] They're making the burger patty out of mustard and stuff.[0:11:38] You're not supposed to tell them that.[0:11:40] I'm not going to even drink this, to be honest.[0:11:43] Let's do our first drink and little song.[0:11:45] We've got a song, right?[0:11:47] We should.[0:11:48] What do we got today?[0:11:49] Oh, my God.[0:11:50] We've got so many.[0:11:51] Well, what's our song?[0:11:52] Because I don't actually have anything pulled up here.[0:11:53] Please play this video because it'll make everybody happy.[0:11:55] Send it over.[0:11:56] Send it over.[0:11:57] And we're going to have our first drink here today.[0:11:58] I got something special for our first drink as well.[0:12:01] What do you got?[0:12:03] And give me a moment to to clear my fucking eyes because it's it's really been hell, truly,[0:12:11] mentally amazing.[0:12:13] OK, let's not twist anything up here.[0:12:15] All right.[0:12:16] I'm just waiting for Jules's text to come through.[0:12:18] Things are going slow here.[0:12:20] Oh, it pulled up to the top finally.[0:12:23] Passover video.[0:12:24] What is this?[0:12:25] We're celebrating Passover.[0:12:26] No, I don't want that.[0:12:27] I thought we had a song from like comedy curator or a song from Nikki Knuckles or something[0:12:33] like that.[0:12:34] Didn't Nikki Knuckles have a new Denny song?[0:12:36] I think that would be a great one to kick off.[0:12:38] You don't have anything like that.[0:12:40] I've got the comedy curator.[0:12:42] That's not really a song, though, isn't it?[0:12:43] Just a video about Chrissy Marr or something.[0:12:47] Jules.[0:12:49] Jules.[0:12:51] Oh, I'm crawling out of my fucking skin here today, crawling out of my skin.[0:12:55] Jules, can I confirm that is the comedy curator just a Chrissy Marr video?[0:12:59] Yes.[0:13:00] But I do not know about this Nikki Nikki Knuckles.[0:13:02] You don't have Nikki Knuckles.[0:13:04] OK, get me this Passover video.[0:13:06] Are they going to actually be singing or am I going to be going through?[0:13:10] How long is it?[0:13:11] Is it enough to actually go through?[0:13:13] It's short, but.[0:13:15] It's very short.[0:13:16] This is not a good drinking site.[0:13:17] I need someone to like party to.[0:13:19] This is a photo app.[0:13:20] Here's a good one then.[0:13:21] Yeah.[0:13:22] This is funny, though.[0:13:23] I know.[0:13:27] It's Ethan Klein.[0:13:31] Trisha.[0:13:34] This is real.[0:13:39] That's what you wanted me to drink to.[0:13:49] That's a celebration of Passover from Rosh Hashanah.[0:13:52] So that's Ethan Klein.[0:13:53] That's what he's doing.[0:13:54] He's having like a serious.[0:13:55] What do you call that thing where you get together with your Jewish family, read over[0:14:00] some spells.[0:14:01] All right.[0:14:02] Did you find me a song here?[0:14:03] Yeah.[0:14:04] For God fucking sake.[0:14:05] Trisha's.[0:14:06] I love you, Moses.[0:14:08] There's no link in here, though.[0:14:10] It's just a title.[0:14:12] Very rough start to the opening of the show.[0:14:16] I fully blame Jules.[0:14:17] I'm actually prepared to rock and roll here today.[0:14:21] So we are just waiting and hopefully all this will be improved very soon.[0:14:27] You don't know, like our show, you could press press for it any fucking time now.[0:14:32] It's there.[0:14:33] So I know we're just waiting.[0:14:34] All right.[0:14:35] Welcome to red bar.[0:14:36] I got this new thing I'm going to do here today.[0:14:39] Oh, my God.[0:14:41] Remember when I was alone, just a queen without a throne.[0:14:48] Wow.[0:14:49] She looks phenomenal.[0:14:50] That's Trisha Paytas.[0:14:51] All right.[0:14:52] We're going to do that.[0:14:53] So I don't have a new whiskey this week, but you've seen that the last three weeks I've[0:14:58] had all these different vials, right?[0:15:00] Like, what did I have two weeks ago?[0:15:02] I had bullet bourbon.[0:15:04] Was this from two weeks ago, right?[0:15:06] Three weeks, I think.[0:15:07] Three weeks ago.[0:15:09] And then two weeks ago, I had I don't care about any of this crap and I'll show you.[0:15:16] Woodinville.[0:15:17] Remember this?[0:15:18] Nonsense.[0:15:19] Another fifty eight dollars down the fucking drain.[0:15:23] And then last week, what was this one?[0:15:25] Like 60 something dollars.[0:15:26] This was we don't even have the label on this.[0:15:29] Oh, well, that bourbon.[0:15:30] Oh, what a nice bottle here.[0:15:33] I'm ready for my date.[0:15:35] Remember those old fashioned pump bottles of perfume where you would pump the little[0:15:40] velvet ball at the end?[0:15:42] Yeah, I want one of those.[0:15:44] Let's get one of those.[0:15:45] I could spray myself.[0:15:46] So we've got these three whiskeys here.[0:15:48] So which one should I choose?[0:15:50] Well, I'll show you what you never see done on these podcasts here, because they're such[0:15:54] pussies.[0:15:55] They always got to worry about what they're drinking and they're always doing something.[0:15:59] So we're going to do this.[0:16:00] We're going to do this.[0:16:01] I borrowed this from my friend Andrew Santino here from what's his show Whiskey Ginger.[0:16:07] Let's get you out of here.[0:16:10] And what we're just going to do today is we're going to make a blend.[0:16:15] Thank you.[0:16:16] I love a blend.[0:16:18] So let's see how this works.[0:16:19] We'll pour this in there.[0:16:22] Is this not done?[0:16:23] So what I'm doing is I'm emptying or attempting to empty all three of these leftover bottles.[0:16:29] Not that crazy.[0:16:30] Not that wild.[0:16:31] I thought this show goes wild.[0:16:34] Oh, it's wild, man.[0:16:35] He mixed three whiskeys last week.[0:16:38] Dude, I would have paid like 100 bucks for that.[0:16:41] All right.[0:16:42] Now we'll do the Willette.[0:16:43] That's hard to pour.[0:16:44] This is wild.[0:16:45] Oh, yep.[0:16:46] There's going to be a lot of that today, Jules, with the careful wait till I start drinking.[0:16:53] Very shocking.[0:16:54] This is.[0:16:55] Come on already.[0:16:56] How much is in here?[0:16:59] Well, it really.[0:17:03] That was like too much.[0:17:04] Sorry.[0:17:05] This is bothering you.[0:17:07] You see how aggressive I'm being with everything to my fucking piece of glass.[0:17:12] I need a drink so bad.[0:17:14] I'm actually a really nice guy.[0:17:16] There's really nothing to worry about.[0:17:18] I like to exaggerate on the show, you know, and get wild.[0:17:25] If I could smash this with my bare hands, believe me.[0:17:28] Not on you.[0:17:29] I'd use it to cut my neck.[0:17:32] All right.[0:17:33] Then I got to wipe everything.[0:17:35] And now we've got this beautiful blend.[0:17:38] Has this been done?[0:17:40] It's been done, you know, and but I think that's what we should do every show, because I like to have something new each show.[0:17:48] I don't like to use the old bottle.[0:17:49] That's gross.[0:17:50] That's gross.[0:17:51] How's George Floyd's officer doing?[0:17:53] Did he get off yet?[0:17:54] I think today was only the first day.[0:17:56] So there's going to be multiple days.[0:17:59] Great.[0:18:00] Oh, yes.[0:18:01] Oh, good.[0:18:02] All right.[0:18:03] So I think we are ready now.[0:18:05] You ready to red bar?[0:18:07] Are people pumped?[0:18:10] Let's take it away, Tricia.[0:18:11] It is a beautiful song for Moses, and I think it's a great way to kick off the show.[0:18:16] Welcome to Red Bar.[0:18:25] Remember when I was alone, just a queen without a throne.[0:18:29] How could I have known?[0:18:31] How could I have known?[0:18:32] My mind was going to be blown.[0:18:34] And it was blown.[0:18:35] Brand new.[0:18:36] He parted the seas, escaped from the seas.[0:18:39] Her husband's name is Moses.[0:18:41] I fell in love before, but before he opened that door.[0:18:47] There was a guy, a prophetic guy.[0:18:51] The bush was burning bright.[0:18:53] My Israeli insight smeared the blood pass over us.[0:18:58] Moses, the voice of God.[0:19:00] Moses, I love you, Moses.[0:19:08] You freed the slaves, and you freed my soul.[0:19:13] It's actually amazing with headphones on.[0:19:15] Right?[0:19:16] Here's the whiskey blend.[0:19:18] It's delicious.[0:19:19] People are saying you have to name it.[0:19:23] Yeah, that's great.[0:19:24] I love that idea.[0:19:25] Let's see.[0:19:26] Okay, name it.[0:19:28] The Richard Chauvin Not Guilty.[0:19:34] The Not Guilty by Richard Chauvin.[0:19:36] What is his name?[0:19:37] Derek Chauvin.[0:19:38] I watched this all morning, like three hours worth on Crowder with Dave Lando.[0:19:43] They're going over the court proceedings.[0:19:45] It was a very serious show.[0:19:47] He was not ready to laugh.[0:19:50] So here's Trisha and Moses.[0:19:52] I'll tell you this.[0:19:53] I think this guy was being serious.[0:19:54] Somebody posted this in the Bring Back group, and they go,[0:19:57] Dude, I had to turn it.[0:19:58] I'm sorry, dude.[0:19:59] That's like too Jew.[0:20:01] Sorry, dude.[0:20:02] I had to turn that up.[0:20:03] That was too Jew.[0:20:05] I don't know if that guy was serious.[0:20:07] Wouldn't that be funny if he was like, they see this?[0:20:09] This is too much for somebody.[0:20:11] We should make a little video like this.[0:20:14] Moses never let me go.[0:20:18] This might be the part that's too Jewish for people.[0:20:23] Here we go.[0:20:34] Cheers, guys.[0:20:39] I could wait.[0:20:44] How did she put these videos together?[0:20:46] Good.[0:20:56] So I don't get it.[0:20:57] She just gets an idea, and then what does she do?[0:20:59] Email somebody and say, put together this production for me?[0:21:03] It's rather...[0:21:04] Oh, wow.[0:21:06] Here we go.[0:21:11] That's really him.[0:21:13] Ethan's mom.[0:21:17] Ethan's dad.[0:21:18] Okay.[0:21:20] Very fucking cool, man.[0:21:22] Better than what these comedians are doing.[0:21:24] You know, these comedians put zero effort or production into their work.[0:21:30] She's dancing in front of the burning bush.[0:21:32] Yeah.[0:21:33] That's over.[0:21:34] So I don't know if you saw my Instagram stories.[0:21:38] Usually, I'm very, very slim on social media.[0:21:43] You know, this is why I don't post, guys, I'm sick.[0:21:46] Guys, I'm not feeling good.[0:21:48] Guys, just one more.[0:21:50] I'm not doing that anymore.[0:21:52] So like, Red Bar is just going to be on.[0:21:54] When it's on, it's always going to be there.[0:21:56] You never have to worry.[0:21:57] It's always going to be right in the nick of time, right when you need it the most.[0:22:00] It'll be there.[0:22:01] But I'm never going to post anything other than show announcements,[0:22:05] or exciting announcements.[0:22:07] I want it to be a positive feed.[0:22:10] Like, imagine if you open up your Instagram feed and you see it.[0:22:13] Guys, I'm sick.[0:22:14] Guys, I'm in too much pain.[0:22:16] That's a negative.[0:22:17] Sounds like a fucking bummer to me.[0:22:19] Sounds like a fucking Jew fag.[0:22:22] And so I never want to post stuff like that.[0:22:26] I keep my social media very light.[0:22:31] But you know, I'm not going to post anything.[0:22:34] But you saw I posted a few things on Instagram, a few things on my story,[0:22:38] because I was so furious yesterday.[0:22:46] I'm sorry, I got like a stuffy nose today too, which is curious.[0:22:52] Hold on.[0:22:55] You want my nose spray?[0:22:57] No.[0:22:59] I don't know what's going on with me, guys.[0:23:01] I'm really, really worried about me.[0:23:04] I posted I was really furious the other day, because something's going on in comedy.[0:23:09] It's been going on for a long time.[0:23:12] But I almost kind of want to expose it every time now and really make a mess out of it.[0:23:19] And what you saw in my Instagram story yesterday, or today,[0:23:23] was that Josh Denny and Gino Discante from In Hot Water compound.[0:23:29] Well, there's this comedy show that they put on.[0:23:32] Remember, Josh Denny, when he promotes it to his 100,000 Twitter followers,[0:23:36] Josh Denny, oh, I'm on tour, I'm going to be in your city, oh, we got a big show coming up.[0:23:41] Gino, he's on In Hot Water, Kumi is promoting it.[0:23:47] So in total, like 200,000 people have been exposed to this announcement over the last month[0:23:54] about this comedy show coming to New Jersey or New York City.[0:23:58] And it's a comedy show by this comedy group that puts on shows.[0:24:03] They rent venues in all different cities, and they put on these shows.[0:24:07] They're called the Comedy Dojo.[0:24:10] You know why they're called the Comedy Dojo, Jules?[0:24:13] Because at one of the venues, they saw that there was one of those, like,[0:24:19] Japanese Kill Bill-looking screens that divide a room?[0:24:25] So they're calling it the Comedy Dojo because there's a slight Japanese room divider screen[0:24:34] at the shitty restaurant they're renting.[0:24:37] So it's a dojo.[0:24:38] Wait till you see this dojo.[0:24:40] What do you mean, wait till we see it?[0:24:42] Well, we actually had another instance of Spy vs. Prior.[0:24:48] Spy vs. Pry![0:24:50] Yes![0:24:53] Mike, what the fuck is Spy vs. Pry?[0:24:56] Technically, it's Shy vs. Pry.[0:24:58] Oh my god, I'm so stupid.[0:25:01] But it is Spy.[0:25:02] Shy vs. Pry.[0:25:03] Shy vs. Pry, okay.[0:25:05] Yes, exactly.[0:25:08] This is a thing where Red Bar listeners, they go out to comedy shows as spies.[0:25:15] They know these fools is up to no good at their comedy shows.[0:25:20] You know, Josh Denny once, oh, I got a big show coming up.[0:25:23] I'm going on tour, baby.[0:25:25] Big fucking show.[0:25:26] Here's 100,000 people.[0:25:27] Here you go.[0:25:29] And then he comes back, thanks to everyone who came out to my big show.[0:25:33] It's fucking amazing.[0:25:35] And you're going, you know, at least I'm going in my heart of hearts.[0:25:38] I know, dude, you're performing for one person.[0:25:41] You're performing for two people.[0:25:43] We've done so many of these spy reports where Red Bar listeners go out to these comedy shows to see what's really going on.[0:25:51] And they find out it's usually Josh Denny saddled up on the end of a bar.[0:25:56] There's not even a stage.[0:25:57] He's just at the end of the bar.[0:26:00] And they've got, you know, some table lamp tilted up, cocked under his neck, shining up at him.[0:26:07] You know, there's no audience.[0:26:12] It's Tuesday night.[0:26:14] He's in the corner.[0:26:16] And you're going, how dare these people keep telling people that they're working comedians and like that they're like Mark Norman.[0:26:23] You know, at least Mark Norman and Sam Tripoli and Joe Liszt, they actually do real shows.[0:26:28] So we get confused.[0:26:30] You know, like when Gino and Josh Denny are like, oh, I'm doing a show.[0:26:33] I think in regular people's mind, not ours, but in regular people's mind, they're imagining it like a Mark Norman event where it's, you know, 300 people, 400 people.[0:26:45] Little tables.[0:26:46] Little tables everywhere.[0:26:48] There's stage lighting.[0:26:50] There's little candles on the table.[0:26:53] So these comics, they really like promoting and bragging about their shows.[0:26:58] But every time we've sent a spy, there's no one there.[0:27:05] The lights are fully on.[0:27:09] The only people there are our spies and the other comedians.[0:27:13] And you know what?[0:27:14] The other day was no different.[0:27:16] We had a shy verse pry incident again.[0:27:21] You know what that is?[0:27:23] It's when two red bar listeners, unbeknownst to each other, show up at the same comedy show to spy on the fool.[0:27:34] Have you ever?[0:27:35] And they sit in separate seats.[0:27:37] They're none the wiser to who each person is.[0:27:40] And they both do a spy report.[0:27:45] Now, what's so funny about this is you usually get a very shy spy.[0:27:51] And then a very aggressive, embarrassing, drink too much, embarrassing red bar, pry spy.[0:28:01] This has happened before.[0:28:02] I'll go over that in a little bit.[0:28:04] And this happened again.[0:28:05] Would you like to see the teaser for the big event today?[0:28:09] Yes, yes, yes.[0:28:10] I haven't seen it yet.[0:28:11] Two spies.[0:28:12] Two spies showed up at Josh Denny and Gino's show in New Jersey.[0:28:18] It is the very worst display of comedy we've ever seen.[0:28:23] We're going to show you everything.[0:28:25] And you know what?[0:28:26] Furthermore, we're going to keep sending spies to these crappy shows until the spy comes back and go, Mike, it was worth every penny.[0:28:37] It was packed.[0:28:38] The lighting, the sound, there was music.[0:28:40] Do you know these shows?[0:28:42] There is a chance to stop the spy report.[0:28:44] Put on a good show.[0:28:45] But if you're going to charge people $25 and up for a ticket for full lighting and you're in a cat, wait till you see this fucking place.[0:28:56] You know, they're not even playing music in between the comics.[0:28:58] This is the host.[0:28:59] All right.[0:29:00] This next guy, you've seen him on the Food Network, Josh Denny.[0:29:06] Hey, what's up?[0:29:08] No songs, no lighting.[0:29:12] I'm not sure if this comment is a joke, but it's by someone named Vinnie Q that I don't know.[0:29:17] And he says, small crowd, but Gino killed apparently.[0:29:22] We have the full tape.[0:29:24] We watched everything.[0:29:25] He did not kill.[0:29:26] Every minute.[0:29:27] We have every minute.[0:29:29] We have full video from two spies.[0:29:32] Gino did not kill.[0:29:35] He was terrible.[0:29:37] And you can you kill alone?[0:29:40] Can you just kill it in a room alone?[0:29:42] I don't even know.[0:29:44] I don't know if that guy's serious or he's trolling.[0:29:46] There are people who like these people.[0:29:49] The time stops now.[0:29:51] So we're going to be here's the deal.[0:29:53] Gino and Josh and all you fraudsters who are scamming people out of coming to comedy shows, pretending they're real shows.[0:30:00] We're going to send spies.[0:30:01] We're going to tape every moment of it.[0:30:02] It's not illegal.[0:30:03] We're going to broadcast all the tapes.[0:30:06] Until you turn it around and you put up a show that these people, you know, deserve to see.[0:30:13] And it's a fair price and all that stuff, right?[0:30:16] We salute you.[0:30:18] Think of it as the Better Business Bureau.[0:30:21] Exactly.[0:30:23] So that's what's going to happen to comics from now on.[0:30:26] And we've got enough people to go to all the shows.[0:30:29] You're never going to know who they are.[0:30:30] They're going to film and audio and all your whole set.[0:30:34] We're going to hear all your wonderful jokes, OK, until they make a law that says you can't do that.[0:30:41] If you want to take me to court, that's fine.[0:30:44] We'll go over the whole thing.[0:30:45] I would love to take this into court and go look what they're doing here.[0:30:49] Look at the service they're providing here.[0:30:52] We've got a great teaser for today's event.[0:30:55] This is our big spy report featuring Josh Denny and Gino Descante.[0:31:00] And like I said, this one's different, man.[0:31:03] I'm like actually mad.[0:31:05] I was actually like very mad yesterday.[0:31:08] I mean, this is a scam like anything else.[0:31:10] When you're taking that kind of money and you put zero effort into these shows and then you go up on stage.[0:31:18] Wait till you see how Gino and Josh act.[0:31:20] They act like it's a joke.[0:31:21] They don't do material.[0:31:23] They sit there and they have a conversation with the one guy in the crowd.[0:31:27] And they're laughing it up.[0:31:31] We'll get more, but here's a teaser from Jason Yates.[0:31:36] That's a vertical video teaser based on some of the footage from one of our spies.[0:31:40] A little tough to see, but I think you'll enjoy it.[0:31:44] I cannot wait.[0:31:45] And then we'll do the spy report like four hours from now.[0:31:48] OK, it might be sooner.[0:31:52] Here you go, Jason Yates.[0:31:54] The Denny tapes.[0:32:13] So it looks like the entryway to the to the theater.[0:32:22] In my dream, I see a fat man.[0:32:31] Oh, it's him.[0:32:32] It's Denny.[0:32:33] He's a man's face.[0:32:35] That's him from the spy is a frown.[0:32:39] Oh, the Denny tapes coming up today.[0:32:45] We got your fat man and we're going to keep getting you.[0:32:48] We're going to make these public, too.[0:32:50] So depending on how it goes, clip it all.[0:32:54] Clip this part, though, and edit it in, you know, and I'm going to get these things up.[0:32:59] I'm going to start releasing their full sets on YouTube until they turn it around.[0:33:05] Sorry, you're not going out and pretending you're doing shows.[0:33:09] Talent, everybody.[0:33:10] Tell them the world, oh, I'm a working comic and then doing this.[0:33:14] So we're going to start just putting your full sets up online.[0:33:18] We're going to do it all.[0:33:20] What are you going to do about it, huh?[0:33:22] Watch your fucking back comics.[0:33:24] That's coming up today on Red Bart, the reddest fucking show out there.[0:33:30] We've got a great classic show today.[0:33:31] I was just looking at the stuff.[0:33:32] Yeah, we've got this amazing Denny stuff.[0:33:35] We've even more Denny stuff we didn't do last show.[0:33:37] We've got classic kill Tony's.[0:33:40] We've got a little Joe Rogan if you want.[0:33:42] Ooh, Ronstein's back?[0:33:44] We never watch that slimy turtle anymore.[0:33:47] Joe Ronstein is so buried away on Spotify.[0:33:50] Really, it doesn't even do anything to grab my attention.[0:33:53] We watched his putt Lovato interview with Demi Lovato.[0:33:58] Man, that wasn't good.[0:34:02] All right, so a little bit more bad news now in between.[0:34:06] So good news, bad news, good news, bad news, bad news, good news.[0:34:09] The firework machine that I bought, I showed you on the last Scars Club episode.[0:34:14] You know, we're doing these performances.[0:34:15] I got one coming up for you, performance here.[0:34:19] Maybe we'll do one early in the show to apologize to people, OK, if you want to do that soon.[0:34:25] We could do it right before light news.[0:34:28] The fireworks machine I bought will not work.[0:34:31] All right, I've tested it this week.[0:34:35] The powder came in.[0:34:36] Remember, it needed.[0:34:38] Oh, I didn't even tell you this.[0:34:39] I bought this fireworks machine.[0:34:42] We showed them a little on the last show.[0:34:43] Yeah, we showed on the last show.[0:34:44] So during like the epic course, sparks are going to fly out from under your pyro.[0:34:49] Right.[0:34:50] So I got this machine off eBay from an Indian seller and and then I had to buy the spark powder.[0:35:00] OK, the gunpowder from another Indian seller, which came late.[0:35:04] That's the reason we didn't have it on the last show.[0:35:07] Finally arrived and we set the whole thing up and we started using it.[0:35:11] And.[0:35:12] This does not seem safe.[0:35:14] It was made the minute you plug it into this lawnmower grinding sound and you're reading[0:35:23] this instructional instruction manual from Egypt and everything is in broken English[0:35:30] and it's warning you about everything and may cause extreme pain.[0:35:36] And we let this thing up.[0:35:38] It did not spark.[0:35:39] We couldn't get it to work.[0:35:40] The remote.[0:35:41] Can we show people the remote?[0:35:43] Do we have that in the other room?[0:35:46] Show them the remote for the detonator for the fireworks machine makes zero sense.[0:35:50] We couldn't find any information.[0:35:52] So unfortunately, we do not have that product, that feature available on this week's show.[0:36:00] But here's the thing.[0:36:01] We're still open to pyro suggestions.[0:36:04] It's got to be easy.[0:36:05] It's got to be clean.[0:36:06] It can't create smoke and it can't be loud.[0:36:09] Here.[0:36:10] I'll show you the detonator.[0:36:12] Sorry about this fireworks machine, right?[0:36:15] This is the detonator.[0:36:18] And you're going, OK.[0:36:20] But look at this.[0:36:21] One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, sixteen buttons.[0:36:25] You ever seen anything like this?[0:36:27] Sixteen buttons.[0:36:28] And guess what?[0:36:29] They're labeled.[0:36:30] Button one.[0:36:33] Button two.[0:36:35] Button three.[0:36:36] Button.[0:36:37] What the fuck?[0:36:38] Do these 16 buttons do?[0:36:42] So I we get this whole thing prepared.[0:36:45] We have it all set up.[0:36:46] We're wearing safety goggles.[0:36:48] I step back like I'm shooting off a model rocket at the park with the Cub Scouts.[0:36:54] And I go.[0:36:58] And all we heard was a grinding sound that sounded very not indoor friendly.[0:37:05] I mean, really, you know, here's the thing.[0:37:07] I'm drunk as fuck on these shows.[0:37:08] I could barely walk if a fire.[0:37:11] We don't own a fire extinguisher.[0:37:12] I find those to be offensive to decor.[0:37:17] We don't have one of those.[0:37:18] If this place lights up, you will just watch us simply burn.[0:37:23] If this place catches fire.[0:37:24] This is what I'll do.[0:37:27] As I now and become skeleton, I will go and I'll hold in the I'm so good at pain now from[0:37:36] all my pain, I'll just hold it and go.[0:37:40] As my face bubbles in charge, like a marshmallow close to the flame.[0:37:47] So I'm so sorry about that.[0:37:49] Full disclosure.[0:37:50] Hopefully, we'll find out.[0:37:52] We will find something else.[0:37:53] Let's give them a quick performance apology performance.[0:37:56] Then we'll get in the light news here.[0:37:58] We got some good light news.[0:38:00] I think I got all this work in today.[0:38:03] Let's find out.[0:38:07] Let's find out.[0:38:13] I got my hash pipe.[0:38:15] Pretty cool, huh?[0:38:17] Hold on a second here.[0:38:19] We got a light one here to start the show.[0:38:22] It's an apology song.[0:38:24] It sounds awful.[0:38:25] Here, cheers.[0:38:31] Apology song.[0:38:33] Goes something like this.[0:38:34] It's all you're fighting and all that.[0:38:38] Completely forgot.[0:38:40] Thank you for listening to Red Bar.[0:38:42] This is a song about our apologies.[0:38:48] I'm fucked up.[0:38:50] Yesterday I went outside with my mama's mason jar.[0:38:57] Caught a lovely butterfly.[0:39:05] When I woke up today, looked in on my fairy pet.[0:39:12] She had withered all away.[0:39:16] No more sighing in her breast.[0:39:20] I'm sorry for what I did.[0:39:23] I did.[0:39:24] All right, cut this shit.[0:39:25] You know, this is getting frankly embarrassing here today.[0:39:30] It's not your fault.[0:39:31] Don't get so upset.[0:39:32] Hello.[0:39:33] Touch one, two, three.[0:39:34] All right, so we have to cut that.[0:39:36] Why isn't the fog machine working today?[0:39:38] Give me the remote.[0:39:41] I was up at seven in the morning putting batteries,[0:39:44] installing everything.[0:39:48] Give me a second here.[0:39:51] We'll be right back.[0:39:52] Red Bar.[0:40:07] Come on.[0:40:09] More.[0:40:21] $50,000 friends I lost.[0:40:24] You must sell me cart and horse.[0:40:26] Shut.[0:40:27] What it is at all?[0:40:32] Sing the song, girls.[0:40:39] My money was to buy a house and land.[0:40:41] This woman had a different plan.[0:40:44] My tilde, she take my money and gone Venezuela.[0:40:48] What the door?[0:40:49] My tilde, my tilde.[0:40:53] My tilde, she take my money and gone Venezuela.[0:40:57] My money was quite inside the bed,[0:40:59] in the mattress right below my head.[0:41:02] My tilde, she take my money and gone Venezuela.[0:41:07] My tilde, my tilde.[0:41:09] My tilde, my tilde.[0:41:11] What it is at all?[0:41:12] My tilde, she take my money and gone Venezuela.[0:41:15] I feel like a zombie shoved me head.[0:41:17] He said, boy, no money in this bed are dead.[0:41:20] My tilde, she take my money and gone Venezuela.[0:41:24] What it is at all?[0:41:25] My tilde, my tilde.[0:41:26] Sing it on, girls.[0:41:27] My tilde, my tilde.[0:41:28] Sing the song, children.[0:41:29] My tilde, she take my money and gone Venezuela.[0:41:33] So never me friends to love again.[0:41:35] To love again.[0:41:36] You see all my money gone in vain.[0:41:39] My tilde, she take my money and gone Venezuela.[0:41:42] What it is at all?[0:41:43] My tilde, my tilde.[0:41:44] Sing it on, girls.[0:41:45] My tilde, my tilde.[0:41:46] One more time.[0:41:47] My tilde, she take my money and gone Venezuela.[0:41:51] Again.[0:41:52] My tilde.[0:41:53] What is it called?[0:41:54] My tilde.[0:41:55] Sing it on, girls.[0:41:57] My tilde, she take my money and gone Venezuela.[0:42:00] Call the police.[0:42:01] My tilde.[0:42:02] Call the army.[0:42:03] My tilde.[0:42:04] Matilda, coming back in a sec.[0:42:22] In a sec.[0:42:25] You ready?[0:42:32] Lights back up.[0:42:33] Don't get it.[0:42:44] Sorry.[0:42:49] I am not a qualified physician, and I don't want to give this injection.[0:42:55] I am not a qualified physician, and I don't want to give this injection.[0:43:01] But Dorothy is begging for trouble.[0:43:03] She insists that I give her this needle.[0:43:07] But, darling, one thing I want you to know,[0:43:10] don't blame me for where the needle goes.[0:43:12] I push it in, I push it back, she starts to shout.[0:43:18] You're not going to believe this.[0:43:20] It's terrible.[0:43:21] I can't stand the size of your needle.[0:43:24] Brip.[0:43:27] Welcome back to Red Bar here.[0:43:31] Just don't understand.[0:43:33] So two weeks ago, was it two weeks when we got the fog machine?[0:43:37] Has it been two shows worth of fog machine?[0:43:40] So that's how long the fog machine lasts.[0:43:45] Remember when I said $58, what an investment.[0:43:49] Every home should have a fog machine.[0:43:52] What a great, I mean, here, show the people.[0:43:55] Look at this.[0:43:57] It just, why?[0:43:59] No, you can turn that off.[0:44:01] Look, no smoke, it's done.[0:44:03] Filled to the brim with fucking fog juice, plugged in,[0:44:06] no different than it was the other two days.[0:44:09] $58 down the fucking drain.[0:44:12] And no smoke, no performances.[0:44:15] I will not perform without smoke.[0:44:18] So you better get a big, go on, go puff, get a big vape,[0:44:22] or something like that here today.[0:44:25] What a waste.[0:44:26] And I even went out, I bought about $75 worth of 9 volts,[0:44:30] and double A's, and triple A's, and mini D's,[0:44:34] and watch batteries for all this fucking crap.[0:44:37] And now it's not working.[0:44:39] I am really upset.[0:44:41] I think.[0:44:42] Let's get into light news here today.[0:44:45] We've got a new light news song.[0:44:47] Exactly.[0:44:48] Here's light news, Westin Wellman, rap version.[0:44:52] She's got the show, Dr. Kids.[0:44:54] Shut the fuck up.[0:44:55] Maybe at the end of the show, I'll put a sure way to do,[0:44:58] like, what's that kind of gun that, like, a boy's gun[0:45:01] goes in to shoot fucking pineapples and pears.[0:45:04] What do they call that thing?[0:45:05] Not a shotgun.[0:45:06] Like a potato gun?[0:45:07] No, not a shotgun, but a rifle.[0:45:10] Shoot me in the fucking head with a rifle.[0:45:12] It's time for light news.[0:45:23] Light news.[0:45:24] Light news.[0:45:26] Light news.[0:45:41] Yes, light news is back.[0:45:44] And we've only got one item today, but it is so good.[0:45:48] Do you remember my buddy Thomas?[0:45:50] Middleditch.[0:45:51] Do you remember him from Silicon Valley?[0:45:53] I thought we'd never hear from him again.[0:45:55] I know, I really hate this creep.[0:45:57] We're getting one step closer to Kamel,[0:46:00] and he's about to break.[0:46:03] You remember Thomas Middleditch?[0:46:04] He's in those cell phone commercials.[0:46:07] He's that curly-haired, barf-buckety nerd.[0:46:11] He looks like Barf Bucket from The Simpsons,[0:46:13] that pale-faced nerd who sat at the front of the bus.[0:46:17] Imagine that, and he's always puking.[0:46:20] He gets motion sickness.[0:46:22] You know Thomas Middleditch?[0:46:24] Pull up a picture of him, because they don't got a,[0:46:26] it's like a picture of Hame they got in this article.[0:46:29] Thomas Middleditch, big comedian.[0:46:32] He's best friends with Kamel Nanjiani,[0:46:34] best friends with T.J. Miller, of course, in Silicon Valley,[0:46:38] plays the main autist on that.[0:46:44] Nervous nerd.[0:46:46] I hate a nervous nerd.[0:46:49] Why do shows torture us with these nervous nerds?[0:46:53] Is any nerd this nervous?[0:46:55] Is any nerd this unsure of every fucking sentence?[0:46:58] I mean, you're really causing a lot of stress,[0:47:00] making me watch a nervous nerd.[0:47:03] Thomas Middleditch, he's in these fucking Verizon commercials,[0:47:06] he's always running around,[0:47:07] testing signals under trees and shit, right?[0:47:10] What else did he do in these commercials?[0:47:12] Here he is.[0:47:14] Now I've hated him for a very, very long time.[0:47:18] And you know this guy, Thomas Middleditch?[0:47:21] You know this guy?[0:47:23] And this was like, so remember pro-Trump,[0:47:26] imagine pro-Trump.[0:47:27] And remember when a couple people said,[0:47:29] dude, these beta males, they're the real rapists,[0:47:35] they're the ones you should be afraid of,[0:47:38] not the Trump supporters.[0:47:40] They're not really rapists, they're too nerdy.[0:47:43] Trump supporters don't really rape, they're too nerdy.[0:47:47] They're too much dork.[0:47:50] But these guys, they love late nights, they love bars.[0:47:54] They actually drank a lot.[0:47:56] You would go, wow, this is a drinking nerd?[0:47:59] You know, why is this guy showing to sex?[0:48:03] Remember that time that they were confronted[0:48:05] by someone in a bar who called them cucks,[0:48:08] and then they did that post where they're like,[0:48:09] we were called cucks. Yes, well, find that.[0:48:11] See if you can find that,[0:48:12] that's a good backstory to this guy.[0:48:14] When the word cucks first came out.[0:48:17] Yeah.[0:48:18] When the word cucks first came out,[0:48:21] the beta cucks of the world, they tried this.[0:48:26] Jonah Ray tried it, Thomas tried it, Kumail tried it.[0:48:30] They tried to own the word cuck.[0:48:34] This did not work.[0:48:36] I think Doug Benson tried to do this.[0:48:39] Here, look at this story.[0:48:40] Kumail Nanjiani and Thomas Middleditch[0:48:42] confronted by Trump fans.[0:48:45] Silicon Valley actor tweeted the story[0:48:49] of how two Trump supporters accosted them[0:48:51] and accused them of being cucks at a bar in Silver Lake.[0:48:56] Can you really accuse someone of being a cuck?[0:49:00] I mean, yeah, it's an allegation.[0:49:04] I mean, look at these cucks.[0:49:05] So here's them at the bar, right?[0:49:08] Oh my God, what the fuck?[0:49:10] Doug![0:49:13] Cheers, my tiki cockatooed.[0:49:15] We are brothers in cockatooed.[0:49:18] The article that they're,[0:49:19] thank God this is not the real photo of them.[0:49:21] This is from a movie set.[0:49:23] That's from the show, don't worry about it.[0:49:25] Cheers, guys.[0:49:26] Both of these cucks, these beta c's,[0:49:31] they drinkin' tiki drinks.[0:49:41] You're gonna love this story.[0:49:44] You're gonna love this story.[0:49:46] Thomas Middleditch is actually way worse[0:49:49] than I thought he was gonna be.[0:49:52] As a person, turns out he's been busted.[0:49:56] Cheers.[0:50:00] What's he been busted for, Joel?[0:50:03] So maybe you should start by watching the video[0:50:07] that you made about him a little bit ago.[0:50:10] Your prediction.[0:50:13] Let's try the song again with,[0:50:18] we will try it without the smoke,[0:50:22] but put the smoke light on.[0:50:26] Sorry, guys.[0:50:28] Test has to happen.[0:50:29] Test, one, two, three.[0:50:34] Got that light.[0:50:36] Here you go.[0:50:40] Let's try it.[0:50:44] Yesterday I went outside[0:50:48] with my mama's mason jar.[0:50:51] Caught a lovely butterfly.[0:50:59] When I woke up today,[0:51:02] looked in on my fairy pet.[0:51:06] She had withered all away.[0:51:10] No more sighing in her breast.[0:51:14] I'm sorry for what I did.[0:51:17] I did what my body told me to.[0:51:21] I didn't mean to bring you harm.[0:51:24] Every time I pinned down what I think I want,[0:51:30] it slips away.[0:51:33] It all slips away.[0:51:41] Smell you on my hands for days.[0:51:45] I can't wash away your scent.[0:51:48] If I'm a dog, then you're a bitch.[0:51:56] I guess you're as real as me.[0:52:00] Maybe I can live with that.[0:52:04] Maybe I need fantasies.[0:52:08] Life I chase had butterflies.[0:52:11] I'm sorry for what I did.[0:52:15] I did what my body told me to.[0:52:19] I didn't mean to bring you harm.[0:52:23] Every time I pinned down what I think I want,[0:52:28] it slips away.[0:52:31] It all slips away.[0:52:34] It all slips away.[0:52:42] Smoke.[0:52:43] Imagine this with smoke.[0:52:45] Oh yeah, she's vaping.[0:52:47] It's not gonna work.[0:52:52] I told you I would return[0:52:56] when a robin makes his nest.[0:53:00] But I ain't never coming back.[0:53:07] Here's my apology, okay?[0:53:10] My apology.[0:53:12] I'm sorry.[0:53:15] I'm sorry.[0:53:19] I'm sorry.[0:53:26] Thank you.[0:53:27] Life is unfair.[0:53:35] Thank you very much for allowing me[0:53:37] to perform for you tonight.[0:53:40] I have a nicotine rush.[0:53:42] I don't think that was working there[0:53:44] with the vape fog machine.[0:53:47] Thank you so much.[0:53:49] Let's get into,[0:53:53] let's get into light news.[0:53:57] Yes.[0:54:01] Yes.[0:54:18] Oh, hell yeah.[0:54:20] Oh my God.[0:54:20] Yes.[0:54:26] Welcome to Red Bar.[0:54:28] Thomas Middleditch in trouble.[0:54:30] This is good.[0:54:31] Comedians bad.[0:54:32] Now we can get excited.[0:54:33] Yes, comedians bad.[0:54:36] Mike good.[0:54:38] Mikey good, good.[0:54:40] Comedian terrible.[0:54:43] Look at this.[0:54:45] And you're not gonna fucking believe every word of this.[0:54:49] I'm gonna read you the title.[0:54:50] You're not gonna believe what I'm reading you.[0:54:53] L.A. Goth nightclub known for rituals[0:55:00] and secrecy has closed amid to it[0:55:06] sexual conduct claims from Thomas Middleditch.[0:55:12] Wait a minute, Mike, hold on a sec.[0:55:14] Don't you always joke about how these weird skinny ass[0:55:18] wiener beta comedians go to BDSM nightclubs,[0:55:23] bondage facilities, townie Hinchcliffe.[0:55:27] Oh, really dude?[0:55:28] Motherfucking Hinchcliffe.[0:55:32] What do I say about my main man, Tony?[0:55:34] What do I say?[0:55:35] He's going to these clubs late at night,[0:55:38] 4 a.m. Wednesday, industrial district,[0:55:44] parking lots of factories and shit.[0:55:47] You're going underground.[0:55:48] They're cheering for one of these big,[0:55:50] you know, the types of clubs, Tony Hinchcliffe[0:55:54] and Thomas Middleditch go to are the types[0:55:57] where they would have like a weird thing[0:55:59] in the back of the factory where a bunch of fucking[0:56:03] underground Mad Max style people root on[0:56:06] like a car killing competition[0:56:09] where there's all different types of souped up cars[0:56:11] to kill each other and they're going nuts[0:56:14] in some sort of battle royale.[0:56:17] I got this feeling.[0:56:18] I go, these skinny fucking nerds.[0:56:19] I could see it in their face.[0:56:20] They're going to these goth clubs,[0:56:24] these BDSM, anything goes clubs.[0:56:28] They're getting shrink wrapped.[0:56:29] They're getting jizzed upon on a skinny disc, right?[0:56:34] So you got a whole crowd up in an industrial balcony.[0:56:37] You got Tony on like a wheel of fortune wheel,[0:56:40] strapped down like Jesus,[0:56:44] but he's shrink wrapped in black vinyl.[0:56:47] They got an exhaust pipe snorkel popping out of his mouth[0:56:51] so we could get some air.[0:56:52] And the crowd is jizzing and screaming[0:56:55] as he spins in bliss.[0:56:59] And then he goes home.[0:57:02] I've joked about this for many years.[0:57:05] By joke, I mean, I feel it.[0:57:07] So I say it.[0:57:09] And then Thomas Middleditch,[0:57:11] a guy who I've made a YouTube video on,[0:57:13] a YouTube video that was really good, barely any hits.[0:57:17] That shows you how much Thomas Middleditch pulls.[0:57:20] He gets no hits on YouTube.[0:57:21] Nobody's searching him.[0:57:23] You think the last guy that-[0:57:24] It was such a hot video that the title[0:57:26] or the thumbnail had to be replaced.[0:57:28] So the thumbnail was so awesome.[0:57:30] If anyone has that Thomas Middleditch sex thumbnail-[0:57:35] It's in the link.[0:57:36] It is.[0:57:37] Oh, the thumbnail.[0:57:38] Yeah, no, you don't have it.[0:57:39] Cause it's gone.[0:57:40] YouTube banned my thumbnail.[0:57:42] I never got this.[0:57:44] A copyright strike on a thumbnail.[0:57:46] I got an email.[0:57:47] Your thumbnail goes against our policy.[0:57:50] It was like Thomas Middleditch.[0:57:51] I whipped him up in Photoshop[0:57:54] and he was in the Eyes Wide Shut party.[0:57:57] I love that party.[0:57:58] I'd kill to go to that Eyes Wide Shut party.[0:58:03] See all those women there.[0:58:04] I want to watch that scene.[0:58:06] I want to watch that scene now.[0:58:08] And all I did was like Photoshop him into that scene.[0:58:12] Cause I knew he was a sex freak[0:58:14] and they banned the thumbnail.[0:58:16] They deleted it.[0:58:17] Now it's just like a random still image from the clip.[0:58:24] And I had this whole video[0:58:25] about how he was a sex crazed freak.[0:58:28] Remember this?[0:58:29] He was into, what was that?[0:58:31] Polyamory?[0:58:32] Yes.[0:58:33] Remember- What do you call that?[0:58:34] The whole thing with,[0:58:35] he did an interview about him and his wife.[0:58:36] And he was like, my wife hates it,[0:58:39] but I just love sucking, fucking, fucking guys.[0:58:42] He thought of some people get tricked[0:58:44] where they think like, you know how people are like,[0:58:46] dude, you got to have honesty in comedy.[0:58:49] And they get tricked into thinking honesty means,[0:58:52] show it all.[0:58:53] Tell them every yummy, yummy, feeling good feeling[0:58:56] that you ever have.[0:58:57] Talk about, you know, like Jason Ellis on Impulsive.[0:59:00] Oh, that's a good one.[0:59:03] Where they're all cheering him on[0:59:05] for sucking the male wand.[0:59:07] See, that's what's so hard about this big mic show[0:59:09] is I want to show that fucking video now.[0:59:10] Oh, don't worry, don't worry.[0:59:11] We got it, we got it.[0:59:13] Got a big mic, a hot dog eating competition special[0:59:15] coming up called Nobody Likes Hot Dogs.[0:59:18] So I made this clip going, he's a sex addict,[0:59:21] he's a freak, he's out at these dungeons,[0:59:23] he's doing this, he's doing that.[0:59:24] And then this breaks.[0:59:26] Thomas, you're done.[0:59:27] Would you like to come on for interview over Skype?[0:59:32] He fears me.[0:59:33] Look at this headline.[0:59:35] L.A. Goth Nightclub.[0:59:39] You know, why do they even allow these places?[0:59:41] Let's read the article.[0:59:42] Look at Haim here, the Haim sisters here.[0:59:45] What do they call that?[0:59:46] The craft.[0:59:47] I don't like three sisters like this.[0:59:51] Who's the one that they're gonna fuck[0:59:52] in the dark the most here?[0:59:54] Because guys like James Fritz, my old co-host,[0:59:57] this is his type of chick, man.[1:00:00] These are his, oh, they're fucking fine.[1:00:03] There's guys out there who think these three types.[1:00:06] And this is the type that Thomas is pulling back[1:00:08] to his little lair.[1:00:11] So let's see what these three women have to say.[1:00:15] What's that Haim song that we're gonna do?[1:00:18] Hey, nobody, no crime.[1:00:22] Hannah Harding parted a thick,[1:00:25] I love how they write like this.[1:00:27] I love women write, every time you look into a writer,[1:00:30] they're younger and younger.[1:00:31] Most writers for the New York Times are like 15.[1:00:35] Cute kids.[1:00:37] Hannah Harding parted a thick wooden gate[1:00:40] and walked into the barely lit labyrinth[1:00:44] of the Hollywood Club Cloak and Dagger.[1:00:48] Get me Cloak and Dagger's phone number.[1:00:51] Get that up.[1:00:53] The Cloak and Dagger, ooh.[1:00:56] Imagine you're watching Under the Silver Lake[1:00:58] and the Cloak and Dagger comes up.[1:01:00] You gotta figure out about that club.[1:01:02] It's like something from the legend.[1:01:03] You know, this is like if Hollywood reminds me[1:01:05] of the Legend of Zelda.[1:01:07] It's got all these little areas,[1:01:09] lots of little weird shits going on.[1:01:14] So there's your little golf club there.[1:01:17] The Labyrinth, the Cloak and Dagger.[1:01:20] Imagine a comedian.[1:01:24] Wanna come to the Cloak and Dagger?[1:01:25] Imagine Thomas Middleditch, this fucking skinny nerd.[1:01:28] Would you like to come to the Cloak and Dagger[1:01:30] with me tonight?[1:01:31] He goes alone, trust me.[1:01:34] An evening at the goth club[1:01:35] where a cast of experimental artists performed eerie,[1:01:40] sexually charged ceremonies.[1:01:43] Yep.[1:01:43] I can't believe what I'm reading.[1:01:46] I need to start describing.[1:01:49] A comedy show is a ceremony.[1:01:51] That's not good.[1:01:53] If you go to a comedy show,[1:01:54] you're partaking in a ceremonial ritual.[1:01:59] I don't like it.[1:02:00] An evening at the goth club.[1:02:02] Get me some scary music.[1:02:05] Wait till you hear this.[1:02:06] And let's pile on this guy.[1:02:11] And you remember when I said,[1:02:13] I was off about Tony Hinchcliffe, but it was him.[1:02:15] But I also said it about him too in my video.[1:02:18] Oh, I bet he's going to these S&M dungeons.[1:02:21] Just what I predicted by seeing a man's face.[1:02:24] Scary music?[1:02:26] It's coming.[1:02:28] Then I'm going to read you.[1:02:29] Ceremonies, yes, stay away.[1:02:32] Oh my God, Mike reading out loud feels like fireside chat.[1:02:35] He is telling me this great story.[1:02:39] An evening at the goth club[1:02:41] where a cast of experimental artists performed[1:02:45] eerie, sexually charged ceremonies each week[1:02:48] in the back rooms of the Pig and Whistle bar.[1:02:52] It was a coveted invitation.[1:02:56] An uninhibited LGBTQ friendly[1:03:01] members only club[1:03:03] where underground DJs, actors, rockers.[1:03:10] I consider myself to be a rocker.[1:03:13] And adventurous party goers could revel[1:03:16] in safety and secrecy.[1:03:20] The scene felt a little spooky,[1:03:25] but that was part of the appeal for then 20 year old.[1:03:30] Okay.[1:03:31] For the then 20 year old girl there that was raped.[1:03:35] As the party ramped up in the main black room,[1:03:41] actor and comedian, Thomas Middleditch,[1:03:46] best known for his role as Richard Hendricks[1:03:50] of the HBO series, Silicon Valley,[1:03:52] approached a young girl named Harding on the dance floor.[1:03:58] There's a dance floor at the goth club.[1:04:00] Oh yeah.[1:04:01] Y-M-C-G for goth, Y-M-C-G for goth.[1:04:09] Some way cut the music, some asshole, just pause it.[1:04:13] Some asshole, cause they're sending me karaoke suggest.[1:04:17] I know I'm shining like this.[1:04:19] I'm like fucked up.[1:04:20] I'm sick.[1:04:22] Some asshole sent me karaoke suggestions.[1:04:24] And he goes, dude, you got to do this song[1:04:26] that Trump's been showing people.[1:04:29] And he sends me a link to, I'm not kidding, to YMCA.[1:04:37] Young man, you're a friend of a friend.[1:04:40] Young man, you're a friend of a friend.[1:04:43] Young man, you're a friend of a friend.[1:04:45] You are younger than me, ha ha.[1:04:49] Wait, so he thought that it was Trump's-[1:04:51] Listen to this.[1:04:52] Yes, and I said, ha ha, a little too much of a joke song[1:04:57] for me to do.[1:04:58] He goes, no, no, no, this is the song Trump uses[1:05:03] to come out on stage to, which is true.[1:05:07] Did you know that he comes out to YMCA?[1:05:09] Yeah, I've seen that before.[1:05:11] The YMCA is a gay group singing about gay issues.[1:05:16] I'm not kidding, they are.[1:05:18] Well, Trump likes the gays.[1:05:19] What are you saying about him?[1:05:21] Can somebody fill me in on why Trump comes out to YMCA?[1:05:25] And do you know his followers do not know[1:05:27] that's a gay group?[1:05:30] And the YMCA is a gay anthem.[1:05:34] I'm not joking.[1:05:35] Maybe he just likes to dance.[1:05:38] And this guy, dude might know,[1:05:41] but it's Trump's song.[1:05:42] No, it's not.[1:05:43] It's the why am I gay?[1:05:46] That's what we used to say as kids.[1:05:47] Why are we gay?[1:05:50] Well, there's people that see me as a fucking flaming[1:05:53] and why am I gay?[1:05:54] Hey, hey.[1:05:56] The YMCA is a sports shithole for black people[1:06:03] and poor people.[1:06:05] They go to swim and other men's piss.[1:06:07] They're so lonely and imagine you don't have a dad[1:06:11] to throw the ball around.[1:06:12] You gotta go to the YMCA and get a sister father,[1:06:16] some counselor.[1:06:18] It's gonna help you.[1:06:19] Oh, here, I'll throw the ball to you once[1:06:20] and then I gotta take care of 75 black kids[1:06:23] spraying graffiti all over the inside of the pool.[1:06:26] What a wonderful place.[1:06:28] Yeah, and he does that little dance with his two fists.[1:06:31] Hit the music.[1:06:33] The scene felt a little spooky,[1:06:38] but that was part of the appeal[1:06:40] for the then 20 year old girl.[1:06:44] As the party ramped up in the main black room.[1:06:48] Music please.[1:06:49] Oh, actor Thomas Middleditch,[1:06:52] best known for Silicon Valley.[1:06:55] He approached the young 20 year old on the dance floor.[1:06:58] He'd met her before actually.[1:07:04] The staff though brought up concerns about his behavior.[1:07:10] That's what I call comedians personality, their behavior.[1:07:14] The staff had brought up concerns about his behavior[1:07:17] to co-founders, Adam Braven and Michael Patterson.[1:07:23] Cut that.[1:07:24] I don't know if the other people who work at the club[1:07:28] need to be titled co-founders of the goth club.[1:07:32] Also someone just told me that one of those guys[1:07:35] is from the band Crazy Town that sings the song Butterfly.[1:07:39] Get Butterfly up.[1:07:41] As karaoke.[1:07:41] Yeah, what do you think?[1:07:43] Harding said Middleditch made lewd sexual overtures.[1:07:50] Put on that overture that I was playing.[1:07:52] Ding, ding, ding.[1:07:53] That's considered an overture.[1:07:56] Harding said Middleditch made lewd sexual overtures[1:08:01] toward her and her girlfriend.[1:08:03] She turned him down.[1:08:05] I haven't read this.[1:08:07] But he kept pushing, pushing,[1:08:09] groping her in front of her friends,[1:08:13] groping her in front of several employees,[1:08:17] including the club's operations manager, Kate Morgan.[1:08:23] The captain.[1:08:24] Kate.[1:08:25] That's it.[1:08:26] Why does this, this is a super club here.[1:08:28] They got an operations manager, co-founders.[1:08:31] This whole, this is a big club.[1:08:34] Hit the music.[1:08:38] Morgan, the girl, said she asked her boss[1:08:41] to kick Thomas Middleditch, the comedian, out and ban him.[1:08:47] But they didn't seem to take it too seriously.[1:08:51] It felt like they dismissed it.[1:08:54] She said, well covered in black blood.[1:08:58] I told Adam that he needed to listen,[1:09:02] that this was not okay.[1:09:07] Harding had her Instagram message it.[1:09:10] Look at this one quick, cut that shit.[1:09:12] One quick question.[1:09:13] And then they're asking me,[1:09:14] I'm not getting a question in Spanish tools here.[1:09:17] What the fuck?[1:09:18] It's a pop-up.[1:09:19] Are you muy favorable or a favorable or a neutral[1:09:22] or a muy disfavorable?[1:09:24] Can you just cut the shit?[1:09:25] We watched some like Dutch word the other day.[1:09:29] And instead of group, I think it was Sven Stoffel's group.[1:09:33] Yes, it was on Sven's streams.[1:09:34] He pulled up the SSG.[1:09:36] By the way, yeah.[1:09:36] And he has all of his stuff in some crazy language.[1:09:38] Well, he's from the Netherlands.[1:09:40] He's from the Netherlands.[1:09:41] They speak Dutch there.[1:09:45] And if you know Sven Stoffel,[1:09:46] he's got this great show once a week on Sundays[1:09:49] called Sven Streams.[1:09:51] You could catch up by going to SvenStoffel.com.[1:09:55] But his Facebook, it's in Dutch.[1:09:59] And he pulled it up on the screen during his show.[1:10:02] And instead of group, they spell in Dutch,[1:10:06] group is pronounced grow up, G-R-O-E-P-E.[1:10:13] And we're sitting there,[1:10:14] just call it group, just call it group.[1:10:19] They're like, no, no, no, we're different than Americans.[1:10:23] It's grow up.[1:10:26] And I hate when they do this in Mexican too, when it's like,[1:10:31] hey, is that your sister or your sister-a?[1:10:36] Is that your brother or your al-brother-a?[1:10:44] Guys, it's called brother.[1:10:47] It's called group.[1:10:48] It's called sister.[1:10:49] Stop fighting it.[1:10:51] I hate languages.[1:10:54] Thank you.[1:10:55] All right.[1:10:56] Music.[1:10:59] He kept pursuing her.[1:11:01] He kept grubbing her.[1:11:03] She asked the bosses to kick Middleditch out and ban him,[1:11:06] but they didn't seem to take it seriously.[1:11:08] They felt like they dismissed it.[1:11:10] Louder.[1:11:12] Harding has Instagram direct messages from Thomas Middleditch,[1:11:19] seen by the New York Times saying, Hannah.[1:11:23] Louder, please.[1:11:25] I mean, where's the fucking piano?[1:11:27] Sorry, this is a slow moving.[1:11:29] This is like the worst.[1:11:30] Well, get a new song.[1:11:32] Here you go.[1:11:34] Harding and him met at a goth club.[1:11:38] Louder.[1:11:41] Harding and him.[1:11:44] Okay, louder, please.[1:11:46] Please.[1:11:47] Harding and him met at a goth club.[1:11:51] Okay, I got this.[1:11:53] Yeah.[1:11:54] Ding, ding, bing.[1:11:59] Okay, got it.[1:12:00] Come on.[1:12:01] Okay.[1:12:02] Is this scary even?[1:12:04] Hold on.[1:12:07] Tom.[1:12:09] Okay, cut, cut it, cut it, cut it, cut it.[1:12:11] I don't think that's a scary song.[1:12:13] Sorry, it was the Eyes Wide Shut soundtrack.[1:12:15] Oh, okay.[1:12:16] Give me another song.[1:12:18] Let's see this one.[1:12:19] Let's hurry the fuck up, please.[1:12:23] Harding, and you can lower it now.[1:12:25] Harding has Instagram direct messages from Middleditch.[1:12:30] Even the New York Times saw them.[1:12:33] Thomas says,[1:12:35] Hey, I had no idea that my actions were that weird for you.[1:12:42] I know you probably just want to put me on blast as a monster.[1:12:48] I don't expect you to want to be my friend.[1:12:53] I'm so ashamed I made you uncomfortable.[1:12:58] This is what Thomas wrote.[1:13:02] Harding has, you know, these messages.[1:13:07] A representative for Middleditch says,[1:13:11] 10 women, including four former employees.[1:13:15] The rest of the article is pretty much about the club employees.[1:13:18] Okay, so what do you do?[1:13:20] He groped her.[1:13:21] Cut the music.[1:13:23] Which one did he grope?[1:13:24] Which one's Harding?[1:13:26] Did he grope her?[1:13:27] She's so tall.[1:13:29] You need a step stool to get to those dries.[1:13:34] Those dries.[1:13:36] It's like kissing an old rose from weeks ago that you bought for your wife from GoPuff.[1:13:45] Now that rose has turned into a crusty flower.[1:13:51] Whoa, whoa.[1:13:52] Disgusting.[1:13:53] Wouldn't kiss her.[1:13:54] I think these are three of the employees of the club, which I don't understand because-[1:13:58] In case this broad city in-[1:14:00] Like that, the girl on the very end is Kate Morgan.[1:14:03] Wow.[1:14:04] The girl who simply watched Middleditch groping the hell out of women.[1:14:08] Imagine kissing this wrinkly old goth neck.[1:14:13] Hey, can I kiss you here where it's discolored?[1:14:17] Underneath your freckles and triple chins?[1:14:23] And then you've got her.[1:14:26] I'd say she's the prettiest one.[1:14:28] What do you think, Jules?[1:14:29] If you had to pick, which one's the prettiest?[1:14:31] Let's look at their faces and then we'll look at their bodies.[1:14:34] I picked the redhead already.[1:14:35] Really?[1:14:36] Mm-hmm.[1:14:37] She caught my eye first.[1:14:38] Because she looks like Taylor Swift.[1:14:39] Maybe.[1:14:40] This is Taylor Swift.[1:14:41] She was drained with all her blood.[1:14:42] I got to back up.[1:14:44] Okay.[1:14:45] And then you've got this one.[1:14:46] I think that's the worst looking one.[1:14:49] She looks pretty mean.[1:14:51] She looks awful and she's probably got a big hairy fucking bush.[1:14:55] And then this one.[1:15:00] This is tough.[1:15:02] You see what I mean?[1:15:03] How this one seems like.[1:15:05] That looks like Crystal from The Bachelor.[1:15:08] You could do more with this one, I think, than these other two.[1:15:11] But I don't know.[1:15:12] Yeah, I changed my answer, actually.[1:15:14] She's more of like a wise woman who would guide you.[1:15:16] Like that's but ugly.[1:15:18] She might turn on you in the depths of the goth club,[1:15:20] but that other girl would probably like guide you.[1:15:24] Like I would never care.[1:15:26] Like if I had to zoom in and you're up close.[1:15:28] You ever been up close with a girl?[1:15:30] You look at her.[1:15:32] I don't think I'd be nose to nose with that.[1:15:35] Without puking.[1:15:36] Nose to nose with this.[1:15:38] I mean that's from another dichotomy.[1:15:39] That's from another land.[1:15:41] No fucking way.[1:15:42] I think that girl isn't really a part of this[1:15:44] and she just saw these two other goths[1:15:47] and she's like, look at me.[1:15:48] I'm Gull.[1:15:49] You see where my mouse is?[1:15:51] Now I'm not suggesting anything,[1:15:53] but do you see where my mouse is circling?[1:15:56] That's a cute area for something.[1:15:59] What should I put here?[1:16:01] What would I do if I was allowed to right here?[1:16:08] Your honor, they're talking about,[1:16:10] they're suggesting that they want to put a...[1:16:12] Oh, what am I suggesting?[1:16:14] A kiss?[1:16:15] I want to plant a kiss here.[1:16:17] A consensual kiss.[1:16:18] Just kidding.[1:16:19] A bullet.[1:16:20] And then I look at you and I go...[1:16:21] I actually think she looks trustworthy, kind of.[1:16:24] This is the one I would trust the most?[1:16:26] And I'm not saying she's good.[1:16:29] What do the fans think?[1:16:30] What do the people in the audience think?[1:16:32] Well, let's do a vote.[1:16:33] One is the girl on...[1:16:35] Is this...[1:16:36] Oh, no.[1:16:37] I was going to...[1:16:38] Yeah, we'll stay one, two, and three.[1:16:39] Who do you trust the most?[1:16:40] It's reversed.[1:16:41] One, two, three.[1:16:42] Three is the one that I trust the most.[1:16:44] Two is the one in the middle.[1:16:46] And three is this lousy...[1:16:47] And don't worry, ladies.[1:16:48] We still trust middle-ditch the least.[1:16:50] We trust the least out of all of you.[1:16:51] What is with...[1:16:52] Can anyone do a deep dive on why redheads are pale?[1:16:56] And not just pale.[1:16:58] They have the skin and elbows of the elderly.[1:17:04] You ever look at...[1:17:05] I was always disgusted by that one from the parent tramp.[1:17:10] What's her name?[1:17:11] Lindsay Lohan.[1:17:12] Lindsay Lohan.[1:17:13] Disgusting.[1:17:14] Emma Stone.[1:17:15] Disgusting.[1:17:16] And you're going, what do these girls have in common?[1:17:19] It's not just that they're redheads.[1:17:21] They're not just pale.[1:17:23] Their skin has a different consistency.[1:17:27] These redheads, a natural redhead,[1:17:30] their skin is like a whole different ballgame.[1:17:32] It's not just pale.[1:17:34] It's not just freckly.[1:17:36] But it's also withered.[1:17:38] It's elderly.[1:17:40] It's wrinkly.[1:17:42] It's sickly looking.[1:17:44] It's ghastly.[1:17:46] It's bony.[1:17:48] It's falling apart.[1:17:50] No one but me has ever talked about that.[1:17:54] I've been talking about that since show one.[1:17:58] And believe me, if redheads didn't pile the makeup on,[1:18:02] they'd be hideous.[1:18:04] You really need...[1:18:05] Anytime you've ever seen a redhead that you think's good,[1:18:08] they've been spray tanned.[1:18:10] They've been airbrushed.[1:18:13] The lighting's great.[1:18:15] They're ready to go.[1:18:16] What about Emma Stone? Do you like her?[1:18:17] I just said she makes me sick.[1:18:19] Oh.[1:18:20] She's frail. She's pathetic.[1:18:22] But then at the same time, you're going,[1:18:24] there's something about her that looks kind of good, right?[1:18:26] Yeah.[1:18:27] But then imagine her body standing in front of you.[1:18:30] You would be, I'm being visited by a ghost.[1:18:36] There's something not just pale about redheads.[1:18:40] Their skin is actually a different consistency.[1:18:43] No one talks about it.[1:18:45] No doctors.[1:18:47] It's a different skin.[1:18:49] It's see-through.[1:18:51] You're seeing what's going on underneath.[1:18:53] I'm seeing action.[1:18:55] People are doing, there's, people are split on the vote here.[1:18:58] Really?[1:18:59] You've almost got equal votes for all three of them.[1:19:00] What are people saying here?[1:19:01] This is interesting.[1:19:02] Tell me what's going on here.[1:19:03] I would say it's about equal for votes for each.[1:19:06] Wow.[1:19:07] Someone says you need all three to complete the ceremony.[1:19:11] Well, you do.[1:19:12] Yeah.[1:19:13] You got to carve that, uh,[1:19:14] anagram in the ground and fill it with the pipe dust and then light it on[1:19:18] fires.[1:19:19] What about Julianne Moore?[1:19:21] Absolutely sickening.[1:19:25] The same type.[1:19:26] This is the same.[1:19:27] These women, I don't know what's going on.[1:19:30] I think they're just very slutty or something,[1:19:33] but if you saw them stark naked standing in front of you,[1:19:37] full lights on 360 spin, you'd see a grandmother.[1:19:41] I greatly respect Julianne Moore as a woman.[1:19:44] Why? Because she's sucking it up.[1:19:46] She's deep in it all.[1:19:47] She's doing the young kids.[1:19:48] She's showing those fucking tits and they're always tits or this[1:19:52] grapefruit colored nipple sticking out like an AK bullet.[1:19:58] You know, I'm these fucking pale whites.[1:20:01] You're seeing all the inner workings of the boob, the vein.[1:20:04] People are saying, what about Christina Hendrick?[1:20:07] Guys, that's another one where you've out whoppered yourselves,[1:20:11] thinking that the bigger, the better. I mean,[1:20:14] this woman literally has these giant old[1:20:18] school 1950s battleship Manassas is coming out of her body.[1:20:23] They look like old fifties submarine fronts and you're going,[1:20:28] Oh, the bigger, the better. Really?[1:20:32] You tell me, and believe me,[1:20:33] these are the same people are calling me on as they're pressed against a[1:20:37] wall with these types of tits choking them out like George Floyd.[1:20:43] I hate a redheaded tit. If you spray tan the woman and cover it up,[1:20:49] it looks good. Hey, don't we have Lindsay Lohan's Playboy magazine?[1:20:53] Yeah, pull it up, pull it up.[1:20:55] Well, pull it up.[1:20:57] I'll show you those disgusting nipples. So tiny.[1:21:01] Isn't that a shame when someone is such tiny nipples on their boobs,[1:21:05] that it's too tiny for you to, you go, what did you do?[1:21:10] Did you carve those out?[1:21:11] Did you get a breast implant so big that the nipple stayed so small?[1:21:15] My nipples are the size of half a dime.[1:21:18] They don't make a dime.[1:21:19] They're the size of half a dime.[1:21:22] My nipples are the size of half a dime.[1:21:25] They don't make a fucking coin. Small is my nipples.[1:21:29] You could barely see them.[1:21:33] It's a pinhead.[1:21:36] If my nipple was on a girl's breast, really, seriously,[1:21:40] there'd be an execution. We got those pictures.[1:21:45] The Gargini brothers are going to come after you, Mike.[1:21:48] Joey Diaz loves redheads. This Gargini stuff.[1:21:53] Outdated. Outdated.[1:21:55] Do I have anything with Lindsay Lohan?[1:21:57] Oh, here it is.[1:21:58] I'm not doing well today.[1:22:00] Here's her nudes. These are the best she could ever look.[1:22:04] They're going to love it.[1:22:05] Look at these tits.[1:22:08] Let's see if we could get this.[1:22:09] NSFW, I have this issue.[1:22:15] I have this very issue.[1:22:16] Look at these tits.[1:22:17] You can't even get busted for showing these tits online.[1:22:20] There's nothing there.[1:22:22] See these little dots?[1:22:24] I like the invisibility.[1:22:25] I think it's kind of a teeny thing.[1:22:26] I don't like the invisibility.[1:22:29] It's a nice surprise, but not like a disgusting surprise.[1:22:32] You see that down here?[1:22:33] This is our grandmother.[1:22:34] That's not a good invite.[1:22:36] And this is airbrushed.[1:22:38] They employed their best people to make her look good.[1:22:43] Look how small this dot is.[1:22:46] What are you going to do there?[1:22:48] That's too small.[1:22:49] It's kind of cute.[1:22:50] No, you know what that looks like?[1:22:53] Shane, what's his name?[1:22:56] He got fired from SNL.[1:22:57] Shane Gillis?[1:22:58] Shane Gillis.[1:22:59] He got fired from SNL.[1:23:00] He got fired from SNL.[1:23:01] He got fired from SNL.[1:23:02] Shane Gillis?[1:23:03] Shane Gillis, everybody.[1:23:04] He's right here.[1:23:07] Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to introduce you to Shane Gillis.[1:23:11] There he is.[1:23:14] You don't want Shane Gillis hanging from your chest.[1:23:19] So there that is.[1:23:20] Couple guys getting horny.[1:23:21] Look at this butt.[1:23:22] This is my grandmother's rear.[1:23:25] Would you like to...[1:23:27] Trust me, they did stuff to this to make it.[1:23:31] Look enjoyable.[1:23:34] Look at that.[1:23:35] There's nothing back there.[1:23:36] Fall right off this.[1:23:37] Fall right off that.[1:23:39] This isn't the time of the tits, though.[1:23:40] You didn't need none of that back then.[1:23:43] You didn't.[1:23:44] Nobody cared about that.[1:23:45] We weren't looking at any of that.[1:23:48] Ooh, God, what's up there?[1:23:52] Ooh, someone farted.[1:23:55] All right, get this off my screen.[1:23:56] I feel terrible here.[1:23:58] Don't get horny.[1:23:59] There is no horny during Red Bar.[1:24:02] Lindsay Lahan.[1:24:04] And yeah, there's redheads like this all over America.[1:24:07] I'm telling you, that's airbrushed.[1:24:10] That's spray painted to fill in for your nausea so that you don't get sick.[1:24:16] Looks like 2% cottage cheese as a guy.[1:24:19] Colorless nipples are pretty cool.[1:24:21] People like that.[1:24:22] I think some people like that.[1:24:24] You know, when I was younger, I liked a smaller nipple.[1:24:29] I don't know why.[1:24:30] When I was younger, I liked a smaller nipple.[1:24:32] What do you like now?[1:24:34] Uh, I'm kidding.[1:24:35] I hate those hugies, too.[1:24:37] Like, Brian Redband's like,[1:24:38] Dude, I like when the areola...[1:24:40] I don't even like to say that.[1:24:42] I like when the...[1:24:43] Brian Redband.[1:24:44] I like when the areola is bigger than the kid.[1:24:47] Oh, to me.[1:24:51] You know, you don't want to get too much bigger than a quarter with the whole thing.[1:24:56] It's vile.[1:25:00] Sometimes I look at these things.[1:25:03] All right.[1:25:04] Cut them off.[1:25:05] Get them cookie cutter.[1:25:06] Do you know the term cookie cutter?[1:25:08] When a woman, Brooke Burke taught me this.[1:25:10] You know Brooke Burke?[1:25:11] Yeah, of course.[1:25:13] When a woman goes in to get implants, the doctor will go,[1:25:15] Would you like to add a cookie cutter procedure to this?[1:25:18] And they go, What's a cookie cutter?[1:25:20] They go, Well, what we could do since we're changing the shape of your giant mammogram.[1:25:25] What we do is we cut off your nipple.[1:25:28] And then we cut it out with a perfect circle, like a cookie cutter.[1:25:32] And then we sew the nipple back on so that it's perfectly circle and the right size for your new brazam.[1:25:41] And you go, Is it going to look all distorted?[1:25:45] That's like how Trisha says that she doesn't even have her original nipples and the nipples she has now are fake replacements.[1:25:51] What you want to do is you go, Don't cut it any thinner than a quarter.[1:25:55] It's like standing behind you go, I'll take a pound of turkey and a pound of roast beef and can you slice it?[1:26:03] Oh, we only have one setting in the slicer.[1:26:05] Oh, yeah?[1:26:06] Then I don't want any of it.[1:26:09] Slice it thick then and get me, you know, they always want to, you go to Whole Foods and you slice it really thin.[1:26:15] Oh, we only have one setting.[1:26:16] You mean the setting that's fastest, thick slices?[1:26:20] And you know, they're lying because, you know, they're lying and looking at the fucking thing.[1:26:24] I got the manual for your exact.[1:26:26] I'll go, OK, OK.[1:26:28] You can only start carrying around a manual for every piece of equipment.[1:26:32] I Google the slicer.[1:26:33] I go, It could do any size.[1:26:35] Josh, can I hop back behind the sushi bar?[1:26:38] Start adjusting a knob.[1:26:39] That's very easy.[1:26:43] See, well, this is why you can't go messing around with boob jobs.[1:26:45] This is what I've been trying to tell you.[1:26:46] It's really scary because imagine I send you out to get the boob job.[1:26:51] You come home and I go.[1:26:53] Yes, it's like when I go get my hair done for about every day is Mike is unsure of what he thinks about it.[1:27:00] I can't really even look at me.[1:27:02] But I'll tell you this.[1:27:03] Then I look back at pictures of you.[1:27:06] And every time you've had a new haircut in the old pictures ago.[1:27:10] Oh, she's so much better than she is now.[1:27:14] So there you go.[1:27:16] So imagine if I get all these surgeries, I get back to the house and there's no going back on the surgery.[1:27:22] Even a hairdo.[1:27:23] You can just fix it.[1:27:25] So that was light news.[1:27:26] Thanks, everybody, for allowing us to do it.[1:27:28] Westin Wellman with the new light news shot here.[1:27:31] Very nice.[1:27:33] Whoops.[1:27:37] Light news is over.[1:27:45] Light news.[1:27:52] Thank you.[1:28:03] Thank you.[1:28:04] Very cool.[1:28:05] Very cool.[1:28:06] Guitars.[1:28:07] What's this Adderall remix song?[1:28:10] Oh, yes.[1:28:11] Somebody made that a little while ago.[1:28:12] And I don't know if it got a lot of traction and I don't remember it at all.[1:28:16] But let's play it.[1:28:17] We missed you, Mike.[1:28:18] Thank you so much.[1:28:19] I miss you guys.[1:28:20] I always say this when people say we miss you.[1:28:23] We hope you're feeling good.[1:28:24] I write same same because that's how it is.[1:28:29] I also feel bad saying thank you to a compliment because saying thank you to a compliment is basically like saying you're right about what you said.[1:28:38] I agree.[1:28:39] Thank you.[1:28:41] So I like to go, oh, my God, you know, but I also say thank you a lot.[1:28:46] I never know what to say to a compliment.[1:28:48] I always go.[1:28:49] I don't like it.[1:28:50] You send the compliment.[1:28:51] If I say thank you, that means the world to you.[1:28:54] I'm telling you this from me.[1:28:56] So you could trust it is size on here.[1:28:59] You guys got to get over size on Z.[1:29:02] He's not part of the show.[1:29:04] He was only part of that one app, not part of it.[1:29:08] We're not calling some guy goes, I'll give you seventy dollars in Bitcoin if you call into a show.[1:29:12] I said, we don't like Bitcoin here.[1:29:16] And he goes, OK, I'll do 70 USD.[1:29:20] We don't like USD around here.[1:29:22] You want to see this?[1:29:23] 70.[1:29:24] What's his name?[1:29:25] Got three hundred dollars for simply holding a fork.[1:29:27] Exactly.[1:29:28] You're going to up the stakes.[1:29:29] And we hate money.[1:29:30] So Adderall Red Bar Remix.[1:29:33] This is by Imagination Sandwich.[1:29:36] Imagination Sandwich.[1:29:38] Is this Stephen S?[1:29:40] Yes.[1:29:41] Stephen S Crowder.[1:29:42] A little video.[1:29:43] Would you like to see a little fan submitted video?[1:29:46] I love this.[1:29:47] Who the hell is that?[1:29:49] Someone says.[1:29:51] OK, let's check out this video.[1:29:54] Somebody made it.[1:29:55] Let's.[1:29:56] Oh, goes up to 720.[1:29:59] Oh, cool.[1:30:01] I looks like me.[1:30:02] I'm wearing a little shirt here.[1:30:04] Let's see what I say.[1:30:06] Imagine if you're a bad person who only wants money and you're on Adderall.[1:30:10] Remember me?[1:30:11] Oh, centuries.[1:30:12] Da da da da da da da da da da.[1:30:17] Now imagine you're on Adderall and you're a regular person.[1:30:20] Wow.[1:30:21] You're spouting out fucking nonsense.[1:30:23] Adderall.[1:30:24] You got the feel.[1:30:25] You're talking about that Adderall.[1:30:26] I talk about Adderall all the time in the chores.[1:30:29] So all of Wall Street's on Adderall, speed or coke, creating companies out of nothing.[1:30:36] All of our politicians are on Adderall, speed or coke, creating law.[1:30:41] Law.[1:30:42] Speed freaks.[1:30:44] Adderall junkies.[1:30:46] Coke, Adderall, speed, whatever you want to call it, is the same junk.[1:30:50] And I really advise everyone to try Adderall.[1:30:53] Adderall.[1:30:54] Crowded.[1:30:55] That's why it's evil.[1:30:56] Adderall.[1:30:57] Remember me?[1:30:58] Oh, centuries.[1:30:59] Adderall.[1:31:00] That's why it's evil.[1:31:02] So imagine this.[1:31:05] Adderall.[1:31:06] Wall Street.[1:31:07] Why does it keep going, remember me for centuries?[1:31:10] Because we always hate that song.[1:31:12] We always make fun of it, right?[1:31:13] I think that you sang it one time.[1:31:15] Pull that out.[1:31:19] Why is that part of this video?[1:31:21] I don't know.[1:31:22] If this is just a random thing that this guy thought was funny, then he fucking rocks.[1:31:30] I got to hear that again.[1:31:31] So randomly throughout this video, it keeps going, remember me for centuries?[1:31:36] I hate that song.[1:31:38] Remember me for centuries?[1:31:41] What kind of crap is that?[1:31:43] Speed freaks.[1:31:45] Adderall junkies.[1:31:47] Coke, Adderall, speed, whatever you want to call it, is the same junk.[1:31:51] And I really advise everyone to try Adderall.[1:31:54] Adderall.[1:31:56] That's why it's evil.[1:31:57] Adderall.[1:31:58] Remember me?[1:32:00] Adderall.[1:32:01] That's why it's evil.[1:32:02] Let's hear that again.[1:32:03] So imagine this.[1:32:06] All over Wall Street, who probably can't do Coke anymore, but they're on Adderall.[1:32:10] Adderall.[1:32:11] You've got Wall Street, the politicians, and the journalists, and more.[1:32:14] All on Adderall.[1:32:15] Crookedly selling, getting no sleep.[1:32:18] Adderall.[1:32:19] Never thinking about what they're saying.[1:32:21] Really, almost every problem in the world is due to this Adderall right now.[1:32:24] I'm telling you, if I had the money and the patience, there'd be a documentary.[1:32:28] I don't.[1:32:29] Adderall is the devil.[1:32:30] Well, there already was that Adderall documentary on Netflix, but it just made Adderall seem[1:32:34] cool and great.[1:32:36] Wow.[1:32:37] Uh, that's the end of it.[1:32:39] Okay.[1:32:40] Why remember me for centuries?[1:32:42] Isn't that strange?[1:32:45] That's really strange.[1:32:46] Hit it.[1:32:47] Hit it.[1:32:48] I'm talking to you.[1:32:49] Test.[1:32:50] Test.[1:32:51] Thank you.[1:33:21] We'll go in history. Remember me for centuries.[1:33:30] Oh hey. Hey ya. Ya. Hey. Ya. I've never heard this. Remember me for centuries.[1:33:40] Listen. You gotta remember me for centuries. It's part of what I do. It's part of what I say.[1:33:45] No I'm not gay. No this ain't a rap but I don't know the verses.[1:33:50] Come on come on and let me in. My neck bruises your thighs like my fingerprints.[1:33:55] And if this is supposed to match, well the darkness that you felt I'll never met for you to picture yourselves.[1:34:00] Listen. Some legends are told. Some turn dust or to gold.[1:34:10] But will you remember me? Remember me for centuries.[1:34:17] La la la la. All it is one mistake. We'll go down in history. You can remember me for what's called met centuries.[1:34:30] La la.[1:34:32] Yes. La la la la. Will you remember me for what's called centuries?[1:34:51] I'm really, I think I'm sick. I'm worried about me lately. Really Jules? This isn't right. I don't feel right.[1:34:59] I know. I'm like a mess. I'm really worried about you. I know. Same. What am I gonna do when you die?[1:35:10] When I die. What's gonna happen? You think Danny Woodward's gonna fucking take care of you? He's not even in the group anymore because of S.A.[1:35:18] He'll be back. Danny Woodward was accused of S.A. in our group. It's fake. He immediately provided proof.[1:35:27] He immediately provided proof but he was banned from Facebook at the exact same time. He was accused of S.A. by a girl named Terry Kramer.[1:35:37] You know Terry Kramer? I called her the hairdresser last week. Remember that? A couple weeks ago.[1:35:44] Oh yeah. We got a hairdresser here. Apparently she's crazy. I mean this is the guy's version.[1:35:50] I mean this is what we heard. Yes exactly. I'll tell you. You wanna hear the girl's version or the guy's version?[1:35:54] Both. I'll start with the girl's version.[1:35:57] This is true.[1:36:01] Give me a sec guy. I'm really sorry about all this.[1:36:05] So Danny Woodward. He's a big red bar guy around here. He's part of the Arizona threat men although he hates Todd Detter and Harley now.[1:36:14] He's better than them. He's got a wife. He's got a kid. Couple kids. Very mature guy. Very threatening guy.[1:36:24] People are afraid of him. You know he'll uh. Back in the day when we first started covering Joe Matarese.[1:36:31] People would message Joe and say ha ha ha. You hear what they're saying? Remember?[1:36:36] Danny would. See I'm not good today.[1:36:42] Danny would message people like Joe Matarese and just go. You're fucking dead. We're gonna fucking kill you.[1:36:51] Seriously. I'm from red bar. We're not a show. We're a group of Hitler's. You're dead.[1:37:00] And he'd be like oh. This ain't good. He'd report it. And I go Danny. Danny you gotta. You're making us look bad.[1:37:09] You know. People don't really know us too well. You're making us look bad.[1:37:13] He grew up from them. That was about five years ago. He's great. You know he's been so great. He was accused.[1:37:22] I hate even saying this because once you're accused you're. I know. One of those guys. We take accusations around here very seriously.[1:37:28] Accused of SA. We don't like to say it on the show. We don't want to get demonetized. She was accused of SA.[1:37:37] And it was. She claimed. She wrote this post. This girl. Terry Cramer. She reminds me of Cosmo Cramer. Same haircut.[1:37:47] Same fucking hair but longer. She's a girl. And I'll tell you something about Terry Cramer. I'm afraid of her too.[1:37:54] She'd been messaging me for years. She's one of those people you wake up in the morning. Oh new message from Terry Cramer.[1:38:01] You open it up and it says message unsent. And you go. And then you see the time code. 4 29 AM.[1:38:10] Ooh and then you want to see it so bad. And you go what was Terry Cramer sending me?[1:38:17] But apparently what happened was Terry Cramer went in the bring back group and she posted. I didn't see any of this. I was too sick.[1:38:25] She posted Danny Woodward is a creep. He sent me a dick pic. I cannot believe my eyes. Then she deleted the post.[1:38:35] And then there were like six other posts talking about it. Everyone was reaching out to me thinking I banned Danny from the group.[1:38:44] Well there was a lot of mass confusion. Literally Terry posted that and then there was no more details to be had.[1:38:50] Oh my God. Everybody's going nuts. I hope I'm not making. Woodward does not send dick pics. Okay.[1:38:58] Well at first we were scared. Not me. Here's what I'll tell you. I'm going to be honest with you.[1:39:06] The safety and well-being of our female listeners means zilch.[1:39:15] I wouldn't care if Cameron Malick, Danny Woodward, Avery Schmuck ran a rape and kill train on all of our female listeners.[1:39:26] Butt fucking them into death. Butt fucking and raping them into a grave. Sexually abuse. Do you think I would even blink?[1:39:40] I don't care if all of our female listeners get nailed into the ground with a large hammer until they're under the dirt and you cover it up and plant a plant.[1:39:51] I don't give a fuck about female safety. What I do give a fuck about is people who are getting fanfare for being creeps.[1:40:01] Now, you know, I think this was a test. I think Terry Kramer. You know, Kramer's weird. People named Kramer have always been weird.[1:40:12] This is what I think she got twisted. I think she was up late at night drinking, wining and dining, probably smoking a little incense.[1:40:24] And she's hearing all the stuff about me where I'm like, I hate Chris D'Elia. I hate Brian Callen.[1:40:31] What if she goes, I want to see, like, what these guys are made of? What if I say Danny Woodward?[1:40:37] I thought it was a good test.[1:40:39] Listen to this. What if Danny Woodward, everyone's beloved threat man from Red Bar. What if he is a Chris D'Elia type?[1:40:49] Would they, you know, because we're all making fun of Chris D'Elia fans for all Chris would never do that.[1:40:55] It was a social experiment.[1:40:57] Could it have been a social experiment? Yeah, you're absolutely right.[1:41:03] Now, I don't think it was. I think Terry's a sick, twisted hairdresser. And that's really all I know.[1:41:11] Now, do I care? 100 again. If I found out that I raped somebody, I wouldn't care. I don't have time. I'm in so much pain.[1:41:24] I care about these women. I don't care about women. And by the way, all you raped women, all you offended women.[1:41:32] You don't hold a candle to my Tuesday evening. As far as pain goes, you want to fucking sit there and whine.[1:41:41] What's going on with my disease is worse than any weight that could be fabricated or applied to a woman. Seriously.[1:41:50] And you're going, just nobody gives a fuck about me. Who cares? Oh, my God.[1:41:56] Imagine if I was being raped every night and they were just like, hope you feel better.[1:42:00] Well, nobody did your disease to you. Well, that's fine. But listen, I'm telling you, I don't care anymore.[1:42:09] I don't care. Oh, my God. I was kissed. They're saying, oh, poor you.[1:42:14] Oh, you should get her into therapy quick. She was kissed in a bar. Oh, my God.[1:42:20] Get all the king's horses and all the king's men. We must fix the kissed woman.[1:42:26] I don't know about you. You ever had sex? It's pretty on the nicer side of feelings.[1:42:35] You know, can't they in their mind just turn rape into a massage or something like that?[1:42:40] I'm getting one of those surprise massages. Enough. We get it.[1:42:50] I believe women. But we did see a screenshot proof from a lot of people with Terry saying that she did lie.[1:42:58] Oh, really? Yeah. I didn't know about. I haven't been following any of this.[1:43:02] You have it in your messages. So it's not just us saying we believe Danny.[1:43:07] It's I'm sorry. I'm wearing shorts today. I'm a mess. Don't look at my knees. I'll just do the show.[1:43:14] A light kissing is all right. It's bad. Someone says. Lots of boobs and butts.[1:43:21] You know, Mike, message me, someone says. What does Mike rate Terry on a scale of one to 10?[1:43:30] A one. Mike is like Buffalo Bill screaming at the girl in the well who took his dog.[1:43:37] You don't know what pain is. Believe me, I'd rather be in a fucking well than what I got going on right now with this disease.[1:43:43] I'd rather be in a well. I'd rather be on a trail or a tail or a boat or a moat.[1:43:51] The lion whore. That's the Anthony Kumi talk. It'll I'll take blame for the disease.[1:43:57] Here's the problem here. Terry Kramer made an allegation.[1:44:02] She posted this in our sacred bring back group on Facebook.[1:44:07] OK, the BBG Sun to lie. DIE. And then she deleted it.[1:44:15] But she's still in the group and nobody's really confronted her. Like, is she lying or is Danny lying?[1:44:23] There was a lot of discussion. By the way, don't message me about this.[1:44:28] I'm not the group principal. Micah.[1:44:33] I get this message every five minutes. Mike had to leave the bring back group. Got a lot of crazies in there.[1:44:39] Don't message me saying that. Mike, do you like Kurt Coben?[1:44:46] No. Mike's knee. Yeah. Get a get over that knee.[1:44:50] Mrs. Woodward is still fucking here, says someone. What's the disease?[1:44:55] Yeah. Wouldn't you like to know? Nate Murphy confronts her about it daily.[1:45:00] OK, good. So let me know what this is about. We have to ban. What's your name?[1:45:05] Terry Kramer. I mean, if she's making false allegations about my boys.[1:45:11] That's not good. You know, we can't have all red bars now, like a rape thing.[1:45:16] That's the last thing I need. I wanted red bar to be safe for women.[1:45:20] I don't want any guys messaging any girls from red bar. And by the way, I've looked at every one of their profile pics.[1:45:29] I've looked at every one of their Instagram pics. You don't have any reason to talk to any girl listener.[1:45:38] They're dog shit. They're disgusting. Even the ones with the good bodies.[1:45:45] There's something wrong. They're all off. Every female listener is an off.[1:45:52] You know, your best chance is a female listener that's listening via the guy boyfriend.[1:46:01] That's when you'll find some goods that a girl that has stumbled upon this program alone joins the group alone.[1:46:08] You know, all the time I'll go, how did you hear about red bar? You're asking to join the bring back.[1:46:13] How did you hear my red bar? They write, oh, my boyfriend. You're in.[1:46:18] But a solo girl like Terry Kramer, she's just cruising the net trying to find hate casts.[1:46:24] That's a psycho. Get her out of there. This is a show for guys.[1:46:29] Shitty. Wow. I didn't know about this. Oh, yeah. Up until today, I thought red bar would for women.[1:46:35] I thought we say if you're a girl that listen to this, you're on the darker side of girls.[1:46:40] Trust me, I've looked at all the pictures, too. They get fuzzy. Some weirdos, some girls, too, where I go.[1:46:48] That's pretty exciting. You go. You look. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.[1:46:52] It's like they're distorted. They got something going on with their whole look.[1:46:59] Let's see what the chat says before messaging Mike. Consider that he is currently overlanding.[1:47:05] OK, I like that. Climbing some challenging boulders. It's not happening with two wheels literally off the ground.[1:47:14] You really want to ding his phone with a notification in that moment of extreme focus.[1:47:19] Guys, I don't get cell service when I'm off roading. Sorry. I don't off road where you get cell service now.[1:47:30] When I go wheeling, by the way, if I called it wheeling new, hey, Jules, want to go wheeling this weekend?[1:47:36] That's what we call it in the Jeep community when we go to mohab.[1:47:42] And I go down that one wall. Yeah. Don't trust me. My cell phone is put away.[1:47:47] It's kept in a backpack underneath the dark, dark depths of the Jeep.[1:47:53] I got my 35 inch tires, by the way, and I got my lift kit and I got my roto packs installed on the side for gas and water.[1:48:07] If my dad ever saw this Jeep, he'd fucking be so sickened by it.[1:48:13] If my dad saw that I got hundreds of dollars worth of equipment to carry extra water and supplies and gas, he just wouldn't understand.[1:48:25] Will we ever need this water or gas? Why are we doing this? We want it to look military.[1:48:30] I don't know. This was all your idea. Well, every Jeep guy that goes, oh, you got to bring one extra gallon of gas is if that's going to get me out of a jam.[1:48:39] And then, you know what they say to me? Oh, Mike, you got to make sure if you're changing elevations, you got to make sure to vent the gas.[1:48:45] I don't even know what that means. To vent the gas caps. Is this going to blow up? I got gas.[1:48:52] And I never understood that. I've seen people who carry like a gas can in their cargo. Guys, this car is going to blow up.[1:48:58] You can't carry gas. That's what I think. Yeah. Like if somebody shoots the gas can on the side of our car, is the whole thing going to fucking blow?[1:49:06] It's not a car anymore, Jules. It's a truck. But really? Yes, it will blow. It will blow.[1:49:13] So why do we have this big red target on the side? And now you've told everybody about this. No one's going to shoot the car.[1:49:19] We're going to be driving through the desert. We're going to be seen by someone. I've got gas cans on the side. I think I'm going to take the gas cans off. You know why?[1:49:25] I don't want my car to be recognizable. Yeah, that's what I mean. And already in our town, people know our car. They know us.[1:49:32] We're the big celebrities of the city. And these big red roto packs, gas cans that are on the side of my car. What's so fucking funny?[1:49:45] I don't know. It's just very silly. But I like them.[1:49:51] I'm telling you, this show feels like I'm doing it from a fucking grave. It is that challenging for me right now.[1:49:57] Can everybody, I'm sure everybody, can everybody come together and work for me and people are all like, this is the best show ever.[1:50:04] This was awesome. This is the best. But I just want to say you can have a sick one every once in a while.[1:50:10] I don't think so. I think people are on the edge here. They're ready to leave. But Todd Detter knows where to aim.[1:50:16] Oh, please. He's too afraid to buy a gun. Todd Detter is one of those guys who's too afraid to buy a gun.[1:50:24] I've had beer. Here's Matty in the chat. I've had beer cans explode because of elevation changes in Colorado. Oh, good.[1:50:31] I see he's giving you advice about the gas can.[1:50:33] I know. I read that. Hey, don't take my tone for anything, OK? I just read it. Praying for you, Mike. Oh, good.[1:50:41] Ever seen a show like this before? Jules take the wheel. Oh, why? So she could end up dead?[1:50:48] Stream every four days. It's never going to happen. Mike, Mike, Mike, this rules. Just do whatever you want.[1:50:56] OK, good people. Finally, that's what I think. When I listen to the show, I go every bit of it as long as I'm talking.[1:51:01] The show's good. There's a guy who seems to think that you have a horrible drug problem and that's what's causing this.[1:51:08] So just wanted to make sure everyone knows that that's not true.[1:51:12] I mean, I mean, that's what I would accuse someone of. A horrible drug problem would be preferable. I would love.[1:51:19] What a blessing. If I had a horrible drug problem, I'd be doing it on the show. I'm not embarrassed about drugs. Never have been.[1:51:28] Drugs don't embarrass me. If I've got a drug problem, what a cool fucking thing.[1:51:33] I mean, I'm like Scott Stamp from STP. You know, if this is a drug problem, this is pretty fucking.[1:51:42] Hollywood, it's 90s, it's cool. I wish it was a drug problem. Trust me, I'm so responsible with drugs.[1:51:48] But I think even though you're feeling so terrible this month, you can just be yourself and everyone will accept it and you'll be back to normal soon.[1:51:56] Haha, Mike's on heroin. I really wish I was. I would do heroin if it was given to me.[1:52:05] What kind of a motherfucker would sit here with five milligrams of keva every six seconds trying to get out of his pain?[1:52:11] Do you want to see what I got here?[1:52:12] Yeah, you have a keva.[1:52:13] Let's have a keva here. These are camino's, keva camino's. People think, oh, is this show sponsored by keva?[1:52:20] I heard I was watching Rick Glassman make some fucking toys. Santa's workshop makes some toys.[1:52:28] Rick Glassman, he's Jewish, right? He's so fucking Jewish. He's so Jewish. This is what his dad sounds like.[1:52:35] Oh, Ricky, why don't you come here and sit on my legs? Sorry, that's too Jewish.[1:52:41] And Ricky on a show, it's weird. Jews love weed. Did you know this?[1:52:47] You would think like Jews would be anti weed, they're anti this, they're anti that.[1:52:52] Jews love getting high. It goes with them. They've been doing this since the beginning of time.[1:52:57] The burning bush, the acacia bush. Have you heard Joe Rogan?[1:53:04] The burning bush was actually the acacia bush.[1:53:07] Yeah, Trisha was just dancing in front of it.[1:53:09] DMT. Joe Rogan did DMT once, barely broke through.[1:53:15] Saw one light. It ended and he thinks he's been to Mars. Shut the fuck up.[1:53:25] You don't know a lick about drugs. These are Camino's.[1:53:31] So I'm watching Rick Glassman. He shows going, oh, do you mind if I take five milligrams of keva, keva chocolate?[1:53:38] He's got these weed edibles called keva. K-I-V-A. I couldn't believe it.[1:53:44] We took a road trip the other week and we were at this dispensary and I see right before my very eyes, these aren't chocolates.[1:53:54] It's kind of like Willy Wonka. You ever watch that movie? You go, what are the different bars?[1:53:59] Like sometimes Charlie gets a chocolate bar, but then sometimes he gets a square thing.[1:54:03] What is that? Why did the Wonka bars from the movie look so fucking good?[1:54:08] So good. Like, what is it about the packaging and the size?[1:54:11] But you know how like in Wonka world, you go like, what is this? Like, what's that?[1:54:15] They don't tell you like, what's candy? What's chocolate? What's this?[1:54:18] So these are Kiva's. These are not chocolate. These are cannabis camp Camino infused gummies.[1:54:27] Five milligrams. They're pineapple habanero.[1:54:31] I didn't see the habanero part. Can I take a Kiva? Can I take a Kiva?[1:54:37] OK, here we go. A little Kiva.[1:54:40] It's your time. Is it time?[1:54:43] It's two hours in. These are what the Kiva's look. They're actually really tasty.[1:54:50] I think Kiva might be a good brand. Ricky Glassman.[1:54:54] Now, I usually eat these with chopsticks, but today I'm going to go.[1:55:17] Test.[1:55:20] Come, my lady. Come, come, my lady.[1:55:23] You're my butterfly. Sugar, baby.[1:55:26] Come, my lady. Come, come, my lady.[1:55:28] I'll make your legs shake. You make me go great.[1:55:30] This is sexy, sexy. Pretty little thing.[1:55:32] With your face written with me, you got my tongue ring.[1:55:35] And your eyes get you, guys, because you got me hot.[1:55:37] So, by surprise, I won't try butterflies in her eyes and the looks to kill.[1:55:42] Time is passing and I'm asking, could this be real?[1:55:44] Because I can't sleep. I can't steal.[1:55:46] The only thing I know is she got sex appeal, but I can feel.[1:55:49] Too much is never enough. You're always there to lift me up.[1:55:52] When times get rough, I was lost, but now I'm found.[1:55:55] Ever since you've been around, I've been putting it down.[1:55:58] Come, my lady. Come, come, my lady.[1:56:00] You're my butterfly. Sugar, baby.[1:56:02] Come, my lady. Come, come, my lady.[1:56:05] You're my pretty baby. I'll make you go crazy.[1:56:07] Come, my lady. Come, come, my lady.[1:56:09] You're my butterfly. Sugar, baby.[1:56:12] Come, my lady. You're my pretty baby. I'll make your legs shake.[1:56:15] You make me go crazy.[1:56:22] Surprise performance. Something we had from earlier.[1:56:25] Okay, I took a Camino shortcut here.[1:56:27] How wacky will I get? The habanero fucked me up there.[1:56:30] This is fun, actually. You can just let people see how mad you are when you're sick.[1:56:35] And it's honest.[1:56:37] He's honest.[1:56:39] What's his name? What was that guy's name? Tom Segura.[1:56:41] He's honest.[1:56:42] Oh, yeah, he's honest by what? Ripping you off every two seconds of the day?[1:56:46] Smooth, dope, incredible.[1:56:48] That radio voice. There's no radio voice.[1:56:50] I have a very standard voice for a guy.[1:56:54] Why does he talk like this?[1:56:57] Because I'm on the radio, okay?[1:57:00] All right, let's see what we've got next.[1:57:02] We've got to get into stuff.[1:57:03] Did you watch the Jake Paul press conference?[1:57:05] Oh, yeah, there were some cringe moments at the newest Jake Paul press conference.[1:57:11] This is good. He's doing another boxing match with this really handsome guy.[1:57:16] What's his name?[1:57:17] Sweetie, Ben Askren.[1:57:18] This is great, finally.[1:57:19] He's up against somebody with a little bit of confidence.[1:57:22] It's not some wacko.[1:57:23] Who's Ben Askren? Do we know him?[1:57:26] I mean, he's an MMA fighter, but I don't know anything about him.[1:57:28] We don't cover Jake Paul a lot on the show.[1:57:34] He is literally too evil.[1:57:38] And people don't know this, but I have such a deep hatred toward Jake Paul that it's almost like hack.[1:57:48] You know, I think that's why I don't bring him up.[1:57:50] Because hating Jake Paul is so predictable, right?[1:57:57] Yes, exactly.[1:57:58] But I hate Jake Paul as much as those predictable, I hate Jake Paul people hate him.[1:58:06] So I'm almost embarrassed to bring him up because it's like, oh, you hate Jake Paul?[1:58:10] Like I want to like Jake Paul. I started out the Jake Paul journey wanting to be the person who's like, oh, you hate Jake Paul, he rules.[1:58:18] But time and time again.[1:58:20] So Jake Paul thinks he's a professional boxer. He's only boxed two kids, like two little weak YouTuber kids.[1:58:29] And I guess Nate Robinson.[1:58:31] And they're always smaller. They're always like two feet shorter than him, really scrawny.[1:58:35] They've never boxed.[1:58:37] All Jake does is go to like Russian training camps and box.[1:58:41] Jake Paul's thighs are like this wide.[1:58:45] What is that, seven feet?[1:58:47] There's so I hate when a guy sits down and his legs are so wide and you go.[1:58:53] That's like nudity, like sometimes when a guy it's like just because it's not a private technically.[1:59:01] Do you know what a private is?[1:59:03] Tits, ass, the pussy and the penis are considered privates.[1:59:10] Remember, did you ever call them your privates? My privates, my privates.[1:59:15] I'm going to start calling them that again.[1:59:17] My privates.[1:59:19] I would like to. There are other privates as well.[1:59:22] I consider the human nose, depending on who it's on, to be a private.[1:59:28] When you look at O.T. swearing.[1:59:31] Do you remember this guy, O.G. Redbar, full O.T. swearing?[1:59:34] He's got a dick so penisical, so penis like that it's it should be a private that should be covered up.[1:59:43] When my human growth hormone, the dick, looks better than your nose.[1:59:51] Well, then my dick should get the right away.[1:59:54] If I take out my dick, which is better than O.T.'s nose, better than a lot of people's noses, I'm arrested. I'm done.[2:00:02] But their nose just gets to hang out at the supermarket, hanging out over my watermelons and my fried chicken, which is all black people eat.[2:00:11] And I find that to be some people's nose that's a private.[2:00:16] Some people's thighs are so thick.[2:00:20] And this is coming from a guy. My thigh is about that thick. That's an inch. My thigh is thinner than my dick.[2:00:27] But when I see a guy with those big, juicy thighs and they sit there and then the thighs spread out like a like an under, you know, pumped tire.[2:00:39] It's got that one strip at the top with the bone and then the two waves on the side.[2:00:44] Can we get Jake's thighs?[2:00:45] Yeah, they're going to be in the video.[2:00:46] Oh, they're going to be in the video. They're so wide and juicy and you're going no more.[2:00:52] You don't need to do any more leg workouts. You're good on the thigh. It's about balance.[2:00:59] You ever seen these guys who go leg crazy at the gym?[2:01:01] Well, because everyone told them to not skip leg day.[2:01:04] Well, there's also this other realm of guys where their legs were just they were born with muscular legs.[2:01:13] So everything comes easier to their legs. They go to the gym and they're doing that thing where they lay on their back.[2:01:19] They're pushing eight thousand kilo loads with their legs.[2:01:24] And you're going if your leg is thicker than your waist, you've gone too far.[2:01:31] OK, your leg does not need to be this thick. For what purpose?[2:01:36] It's like having two human beings coming out.[2:01:40] I like a leg just an inch or two wider than the arm, arms and legs.[2:01:49] We've all heard this expression, arms and legs, arms and legs, right? Like fingers and toes.[2:01:54] They're not supposed to be that wildly different.[2:01:57] OK, if your leg is eight times wider than your arm, you're a sick person.[2:02:04] You're juicy. And fat people have very wide legs, too, from carrying all that load.[2:02:12] I don't like that either. So let's show you this press conference.[2:02:16] Now, it's funny, every time Jake and Logan do their boxing press conferences, they want to be like bad ass guys,[2:02:24] but they get so nervous and they do this thing. And we come up with a term for this.[2:02:30] This is where people get on stage and they try to be bad ass, but their eyes are like teary and they look extremely miserable.[2:02:39] They look like they're going to cry. See, that's the thing about Jake.[2:02:42] People are always like, you might hate him, but he's the ultimate troll.[2:02:47] He really knows how to get people and get under their skin. But it's like he doesn't, though.[2:02:52] He tries to do that and fails. And what's so weird is everyone hates Jake.[2:02:56] You go to his own Instagram page and it's everyone making fun of him.[2:03:01] Nobody's pointed out like, Jake, you're cringe when you try to act tough. It's not funny. It's not good.[2:03:09] We've got some great clips. They finally know. Good. It's so bad.[2:03:15] You know, it's like crazy. If one of our comedian fools did this, we'd be all over it.[2:03:20] Actually, like for a while, I was like, I want to support Jake's boxing career because I want Logan's feelings to be hurt.[2:03:35] Bless you.[2:03:39] Who am I?[2:03:43] Who am I? Hurry up![2:03:45] Have a guess? Yes.[2:03:47] I'm Whiteler. Adolf Whiteler.[2:03:54] It's my Whiteler mustache, of course.[2:03:58] Of course. How could I not see?[2:04:00] Whiteler.[2:04:03] You got to see the video of this. All right. This is from Triller.[2:04:06] And Triller has just decided they like the movie Fight Club. So they're just calling their segment here Fight Club.[2:04:14] Now they should be sued. Imagine you're Chuck Palahniuk and you wrote this movie and you're sitting at home and you're gone.[2:04:21] Wait, what the hell is this? He even looks like my font here, Fight Club.[2:04:25] We have the exact same briefcase.[2:04:28] How much you know about yourself if you've never been in a fight?[2:04:31] Brad Pitt.[2:04:32] We have the exact same briefcase.[2:04:34] The nerd from Fight Club.[2:04:36] That's all I've seen him in.[2:04:38] So I don't like how Triller uses this logo and they're like, oh, come to Triller's Fight Club.[2:04:45] Oh, because it's boxing and it's a fight. OK.[2:04:49] All right. Let's see how this thing opens up here.[2:04:52] We got time codes. It's the press conference.[2:04:56] The first hour is like this page.[2:04:58] Yeah. I think a press conference should be done a week before the fight.[2:05:03] They do it too early. They do it two months before.[2:05:07] It's if I'm going to remember and still be like two months in twenty, twenty one is like three years in nineteen ninety seven, two months.[2:05:17] I really like two months goes by and if you think about what you did, two months ago, there's a different life.[2:05:23] Do you know Logan Paul got his start only two years ago?[2:05:28] Seriously.[2:05:30] You're like Logan Paul will be like on a pulse.[2:05:33] You want to see a clip from my first ever video? And then he plays a clip. It's from like two thousand nineteen.[2:05:40] And it's like I don't want to hear about your event or anything unless it's coming out today or tomorrow.[2:05:46] Yeah. Seriously, don't plug stuff this early. We're going to forget one forty five. Oh five. Is that right?[2:05:53] Yes. That's the beginning. What's going to happen here? This is just their little intro package video thing.[2:05:59] You're going to love this stuff. This is good. This is some good crank.[2:06:02] Forty nine oh five. One forty nine oh five. Thank you. Help me out here.[2:06:07] Always. One forty nine oh five. OK, we'll start here.[2:06:13] Our main event, the match between Jake Paul and Ben has not been shy and talking about this fight on social media and elsewhere.[2:06:23] And Ben Askren has done a great job on his own end in the verbal department.[2:06:29] Let's hear from both of them. Here we go. We show this. Here you go.[2:06:34] You're gonna like this. What's next for Jake Paul?[2:06:41] So he's like this weirdo. I mean, he literally just copies Conor McGregor, but Conor McGregor from like four years ago.[2:06:49] Like Conor McGregor now is like, I just want everybody to get along. You know, he can't be cocky anymore.[2:06:55] He's like Chris D'Elia after the pedophilia. Like this is Conor McGregor four years ago.[2:07:02] And this is him now. I love my son and my ugly wife. I wish I could be cruel again, but I can't.[2:07:12] But Jake Paul like emulate it's so terrible, like Jake Paul has a grill now and a beard. Here it is.[2:07:21] Knocking people out, man. Gonna make you sick.[2:07:28] And so the first step of this era is knocking out Ben Askren, putting on a violent show.[2:07:37] I think it's like almost your hack when you see Jake Paul, you go, is that not the it's so hot.[2:07:44] It's like exactly. Is that not the worst guy that we have?[2:07:52] It's not the biggest piece of shit that we have. This must be when people tune in their first red bar video.[2:07:59] They must feel this feeling that I'm feeling while looking at that. Look at that fucking face.[2:08:07] You tell me you don't want that team 10 mansion burned down with him stuck inside the Lego wall.[2:08:12] Like I wish that he was good at trolling and that I found him funny and that he pissed.[2:08:18] Nobody's like super insecure. He's always on the verge of tears.[2:08:23] He can never pull off what he's trying to do. And like everybody knows it.[2:08:29] But you can't really articulate it with Jake. It's like you almost get overwhelmed at how douchey he is.[2:08:34] And nobody can defeat him because it's overwhelmingly aggravating.[2:08:40] Watch this. Putting on a violent show. He is so bad.[2:08:46] It's pretty obvious why Jake Paul picked me. Number one. Here's this other guy following a fairly popular number.[2:08:52] To me, this is Casey Neistat. This Ben Askren. I didn't know who he was.[2:08:57] He's got actor face, actor eyes. He's got sincere eyes. He seems with it.[2:09:04] He's one of Jake's most worthy opponents to date, it seems.[2:09:08] So anyone who knows about boxing, what do you actually think is going to happen?[2:09:12] Yeah, I don't know. But you have that other guy, Nate Robinson. I mean, that's a dumb ass.[2:09:17] And then you had, what's the other guy that he boxed? That stupid, manupid kid.[2:09:23] And then before that, you had Deji, that black gaming nerd from YouTube. So those guys are easy.[2:09:28] This is like a serious man. But he's still shorter than Jake.[2:09:33] Two from what it appears to him, my striking's really poor.[2:09:37] Watch this. But I'm happy that he chose me to beat him up.[2:09:42] Literally everything's at stake. Half the people are tuning in because they love me,[2:09:47] but half the people are tuning in because they want to see my career be ended.[2:09:52] I don't know why people actually think he's a good troll or a good trash talker. I think he's terrible.[2:09:57] He's been asking for a beating. He's been asking for a beating.[2:10:02] I think his intelligence level.[2:10:05] Jake will be on Instagram doing stories to provoke these guys, and he'll use humor and jokes.[2:10:10] And you could tell all those like wacky black guys in Jake's crew who want to be like famous SoundCloud rappers.[2:10:19] So they use Jake. They all feed him roast lines like David Lucas style roast lines.[2:10:28] And you could tell they're all being fed to Jake from black people and then Jake's reiterating them.[2:10:36] It makes me so mad going with no confidence. You're going Jake didn't come up.[2:10:41] He can't come up with song lyrics. I mean, he's really stupid.[2:10:47] And I just feel like it's so typical. I feel like I'm one of these like hater YouTubers.[2:10:53] When you start picking on Jake Paul for some reason, I got to work this out with my therapist.[2:10:57] I might I don't have a therapist. I might hire a therapist to go.[2:11:01] Why do I feel so insecure when I try to cover Jake Paul? Maybe they might have some answer.[2:11:08] Maybe they'll know. Let's go to therapy and try to see if they could work out nonsense, like come up with scenarios that just don't add up and see how good.[2:11:18] Let's sign up for couples therapy and just make it ridiculous and make it like show crazy and see how the therapist talks themselves out of this room.[2:11:30] All right. Let's see this whole shebang. You're going to like these cringe moments from Jacob Paul and his maturity level is that of roughly a middle schooler.[2:11:40] Get a little shout. April 17, going to be a movie. We live.[2:11:46] Yeah, you know me, JP. I'm going crazy.[2:11:50] This Olympic decorated athlete, two time NCAA Division one champion, one championship champion, 15 and 0 Bellator MMA champion.[2:12:01] Less losses than McGregor. With all that said, I truly believe like I'm going to knock him out.[2:12:09] And he will. He's definitely not a fighter. He's box two guys who are.[2:12:13] So this is the problem with Jake. He's so insane and maniacal that he will win.[2:12:21] Have you seen those thighs? You're not knocking this guy down.[2:12:25] If Jake Paul I'm not I'm more scared of Jake Paul than probably any man on this planet.[2:12:32] Seriously, because Jake Paul is capable of he'll keep going, he'll keep going and biting and ripping.[2:12:41] He's got no conscience, no soul.[2:12:45] So when he sees a man hurt, you know what gets in the way of most of these boxers and athletes is you really need.[2:12:53] I think to be a good boxer, you either have to be really stupid, which most of them are in that way.[2:12:59] The oh, my God, there's a man hurt doesn't get in the way. You're just too stupid.[2:13:04] Or you have to be so, so sociopathic that you actually want to kill this other man.[2:13:14] And that you could actually turn into a monster and kill them in your mind.[2:13:19] You know, whereas most people, again, Mike Tyson, I don't think he thinks that way.[2:13:23] He's so dumb that he goes, oh, yeah, box you till I win. A box you till I win.[2:13:30] That's the promise. That's dumbness. That's not evil.[2:13:35] Jake Paul is just like, oh, yeah, watch this. And then he turns a little key. It turns off all emotion.[2:13:40] I don't think he has to turn the key. You don't have to turn the key.[2:13:43] It's already turned. And he'll devour these men. I think he could really kill anybody.[2:13:51] Which is it's a real shame to lose this like so bad. It's like worrying me.[2:13:57] Yeah. And how many thousands of dollars have gone into this? You can skip to one fifty to twenty for them to come out.[2:14:02] OK, so watch this. This is where it gets good. They're going to come out and talk to each other.[2:14:06] And here's the thing. Look at that guy, Jake Paul, Logan Paul's younger brother, by the way.[2:14:16] He it's so funny they come out in the conference and he wants to be this bad ass shit talker like Conor McGregor,[2:14:23] where everyone's laughing and he's got that planned in his head, but he does it.[2:14:28] And the situation, the moment isn't like appropriate for the shit talking.[2:14:34] It's just not working. But Jake Paul has a script and he's got these jokes that he wants to do.[2:14:40] So he does them, but he doesn't quite have the confidence. And it's not really going over well.[2:14:45] But he keeps going for it. And the whole crowd's like, this is not what Conor Conor.[2:14:50] Gregor like brings us together, like we're rooting for him when he's shit talking.[2:14:54] Yes. When Jake Paul should touch, we all go, let's just cancel. But can you guys just like paint an ashtray or something?[2:15:01] I don't like boxing. And I can't wait to invite them out here on the stage with no further ado.[2:15:08] Jake and Ben, come on out. Here they come. You're going to like this.[2:15:14] Mercedes Benz Stadium areas.[2:15:19] There's Mike Dunworth. Thank you. I've been to this guy.[2:15:24] And again, it's all it's like hack. Look at him. Look what he's got himself up to here.[2:15:32] And it's not work like nobody's looking at him. There's no.[2:15:37] Even young kid is going, damn, that's so cool. It just never works.[2:15:44] I mean, look at this guy. And he doesn't have the confidence to pull off what he's about to try to do.[2:15:52] Well, you guys have set the table for this pretty well with that video and with what you've been doing beforehand.[2:16:00] And Jake, I'll start with you.[2:16:03] You've kind of indicated that at the end of the day, your boxing skills you feel are better.[2:16:09] And that ultimately, that's the difference. No, 100 percent.[2:16:14] I mean, this guy striking is that of a grandma. Quite literally, if I put a grandma in against Jorge Masvidal,[2:16:23] she would have lasted longer than this guy.[2:16:26] You know, you know, and what's so funny about this,[2:16:29] it's like when you're attempting comedy on a stage in front of a full audience and nobody laughs, it's really tough.[2:16:36] Like if you make a joke to a full crowd, hey, crowd, how are you doing here?[2:16:40] And then it's silent. It's very hard to just pretend it's not silent.[2:16:47] So he has to remember he's committed to like 19 jokes here.[2:16:51] So you're going to just brutally tell these through his weeping eyes.[2:16:56] Surely you could see this is not a confident man.[2:16:59] He's a good athlete, they say.[2:17:02] Watch this.[2:17:03] April 17th, he's going to get exposed.[2:17:05] You know, we saw Steve Cunningham earlier going up against Frank Mir.[2:17:10] And it's a boxer versus an MMA guy.[2:17:13] I love Frank Mir, but at the end of the day, Steve's going to take care of business.[2:17:18] And then later on in the night, same thing is going to happen.[2:17:21] This is boxing versus MMA.[2:17:23] And you're going to see the difference.[2:17:26] You know, he's got that weird Brian Redban adolescent way of speaking.[2:17:33] It's hard to describe.[2:17:35] It's not like the voice is a kid voice, but the cadence is a kid cadence.[2:17:40] Yes.[2:17:41] Dummy, childlike, fourth grader.[2:17:46] I feel like even in fourth grade, I was more smooth.[2:17:51] Well, you, of course.[2:17:52] Yeah, well, yeah.[2:17:53] This was me in fourth grade.[2:17:54] They'd be like, does anyone know the answer?[2:17:56] Any one of you dumb kids?[2:17:58] And I'd be like, listen, teach, you know, I got a show to do.[2:18:02] I'm a podcaster.[2:18:03] All right.[2:18:04] So let's watch this.[2:18:06] He's got that real choppy, I call it choppy way of speaking.[2:18:10] The difference of a wannabe fighter.[2:18:13] You know, a guy who choked in the Olympics, a guy who choked in the UFC,[2:18:18] and now a guy who's going to choke against Jake Paul.[2:18:22] I'm going to end this guy's career as an embarrassment.[2:18:25] Might as well all that it wants.[2:18:26] I'm about to do it again.[2:18:28] All right.[2:18:29] So all of that having been said, this is great.[2:18:31] So I'd never heard of this Ben Askren.[2:18:34] I had never heard him speak.[2:18:36] And I'm used to Jake always battling these guys that are just pure retards.[2:18:41] So I was so pleasantly surprised when I heard this.[2:18:44] You indicate that the difference is not about the skill.[2:18:49] It's about the toughness.[2:18:51] Yeah, absolutely.[2:18:52] So I'd heard of Jake Paul prior to accepting this fight.[2:18:57] But I couldn't have told you a lot about him or his brother.[2:18:59] I knew, you know, he kind of came up in his brother's shadow.[2:19:03] He was trying to fill his brother's footsteps.[2:19:05] You know, his brother's a lot more talented, has a larger following.[2:19:08] Those type of things.[2:19:11] That's a smooth operator.[2:19:12] Look at that guy.[2:19:14] Now, you might think that's not that crazy,[2:19:16] but Jake's actually never been up against a guy this good.[2:19:22] Now, I didn't say that.[2:19:23] Every other person that he's gone up against has been like either said nothing[2:19:27] or just been like, Jake.[2:19:29] Now, this guy actually comes off as a little sharper.[2:19:32] I mean, this is like, you know, you would look at this guy as,[2:19:34] hey, this is a guy.[2:19:36] He lives on Venice Beach.[2:19:38] He surfs.[2:19:39] He's a great dad.[2:19:41] He's likable.[2:19:43] He's basically Casey Neistat, if Casey was a little bit better looking.[2:19:48] Yes, agreed.[2:19:50] And I think Jake's a little scared of this guy.[2:19:54] Let's hear some more.[2:19:55] I knew, you know, he kind of came up in his brother's shadow.[2:19:59] He was trying to fill his brother's footsteps.[2:20:01] You know, his brother's a lot more talented,[2:20:03] has a larger following, those type of things.[2:20:05] You literally went on your Instagram and asked people for roast.[2:20:09] You asked people for roast on your Instagram,[2:20:11] and that was the top comment was say that his brother is better than him.[2:20:14] Is he?[2:20:15] That's like calling Kylie Jenner Kendall Jenner.[2:20:19] I don't know anything about that.[2:20:21] Anyway, so.[2:20:22] It doesn't matter.[2:20:24] It's still a compliment.[2:20:25] I would love to be Logan.[2:20:27] Logan's a great kid.[2:20:28] Both stars.[2:20:29] Logan's a great key.[2:20:31] Logan's a great key.[2:20:33] You're not.[2:20:34] I mean, you're literally from like Redneck, Ohio.[2:20:40] Both stars.[2:20:41] What does your dad think of these black boys?[2:20:43] Yo, Logan's a good key.[2:20:45] You know, and I got a big problem with calling anybody over 18 a kid is fucking.[2:20:51] It means you think of yourself as a kid when you call other people kids as an adult.[2:20:57] Taking over the world at a young age.[2:20:59] Okay, so when Logan's little brother called me out.[2:21:02] You know, I thought about it.[2:21:04] You actually called me out.[2:21:06] Let's get the facts straight.[2:21:07] You called me out the week of the Nate Robinson fight, so continue.[2:21:10] Okay, so when Logan's little brother called me out.[2:21:13] You don't look very confident in his stance.[2:21:15] I said, sure.[2:21:16] More than happy to, right?[2:21:17] I like to fight him and fighting for a long time.[2:21:19] Never boxing, but I've done wrestling, mixed martial arts, jiu-jitsu.[2:21:23] And you know, I thought, well, from his angle, what's he doing?[2:21:25] And I asked some of my kids at my academy, you know, what's this guy all about?[2:21:28] And they said, he's a bully, he's a dick.[2:21:30] And so I think from his angle, he's thinking, who's the easiest guy that I can pick that will give some validity to my name?[2:21:37] It's like, hmm, I'm going to pick the guy who just had a surgery, who's retired, sitting on the couch.[2:21:43] If I wanted to pick the easiest guy, I would have picked Dylan Dennis.[2:21:45] Dylan Dennis said no.[2:21:46] Dylan was too scared to sign the contract.[2:21:48] You actually had the balls to sign the contract.[2:21:50] Jake's all over the place.[2:21:51] Do we have a more concise note here that we could go to or do we just keep playing?[2:21:55] You can keep playing this part for a couple more seconds.[2:21:57] Yeah, let's hear what he does here.[2:21:59] Jake's about to really, and you could really see in his eyes, that to me is not confidence.[2:22:06] That to me is worry, concern, fear.[2:22:10] And then I look at this guy, I go, he looks annoyed, but he looks like a man.[2:22:17] So if I wanted the easiest guy, I would have picked Dylan.[2:22:19] Jake, you did pick Dylan.[2:22:20] We know that.[2:22:21] I've already gone over that.[2:22:22] You picked Dylan.[2:22:23] I know he wouldn't do it.[2:22:24] But you just said I picked you.[2:22:25] Because Dylan wouldn't say yes, dumb dumb.[2:22:27] I tried to explain this to you.[2:22:28] You're choking on your words, Bubba?[2:22:31] You picked Dylan.[2:22:32] Dylan wouldn't sign the contract.[2:22:33] Therefore, you can't fight Dylan, so you'd pick the next person.[2:22:37] Okay?[2:22:38] But you said I picked you first.[2:22:39] Let me continue.[2:22:40] You said if I wanted the easiest person, it would have been Dylan.[2:22:42] But you're saying I picked you as the easiest person.[2:22:44] Because Dylan wouldn't sign the contract.[2:22:46] I'm trying to wait for you to stop talking.[2:22:50] Okay.[2:22:51] So anyways, like this is typical.[2:22:53] Look at his face.[2:22:54] But obviously sometimes the boy picks the wrong person.[2:22:57] And now you're under my control.[2:22:59] Pussy-ass bitch.[2:23:00] Whoa, look at that.[2:23:02] I mean, really, this is like, you ever seen a kid, I always talked about this, when like[2:23:06] a nerd gets really mad and starts swearing for the first time?[2:23:12] Fuck you, you fucking fucker![2:23:14] And you go, you're not good at swearing.[2:23:17] You're not a good swearer.[2:23:20] That's Jake Paul.[2:23:21] Listen to this.[2:23:22] This is where it starts getting really good.[2:23:23] So anyways, like this is typical bully behavior.[2:23:26] But obviously sometimes the boy picks the wrong person.[2:23:28] This is the fucking fight game.[2:23:30] You pussy-ass bitch.[2:23:32] This is the fucking fight game.[2:23:34] Yeah, I'll bully you around just like I'm going to bully you in the ring.[2:23:36] Shut the fuck up.[2:23:38] You sound like a middle schooler.[2:23:39] Oh, he's bullying me.[2:23:40] Shut the fuck up.[2:23:41] Whoa![2:23:44] I mean, Jake.[2:23:46] I feel like even Jake can do better than this.[2:23:49] He's like mega bomb.[2:23:50] Well, that's what I mean you really need.[2:23:53] You can't just fake this whole thing.[2:23:55] No.[2:23:56] You really need to be the type of guy.[2:23:59] Look at this.[2:24:01] Fuck you, you fucking punk.[2:24:05] Looks down.[2:24:06] Looks teary.[2:24:07] Look into your mentality.[2:24:09] You're not going to bully me.[2:24:11] That's not going to happen.[2:24:12] And you know, like, Jake, if you and I ran into each other in the back alley in Las Vegas[2:24:17] and I wanted to do a homicide.[2:24:20] Someone's going to stop you.[2:24:22] Jake, chop on his feet.[2:24:24] Do it right now.[2:24:25] Do it right now.[2:24:26] And he's just sitting there chilling.[2:24:29] Want to do a homicide?[2:24:31] Do it right now then.[2:24:32] Someone's going to stop you.[2:24:34] You got like 27 people.[2:24:35] That's what I thought.[2:24:36] Yeah, okay.[2:24:37] Anyways, I would do a homicide on you if I wanted to.[2:24:40] Yeah, yeah, yeah.[2:24:41] Yeah, yeah, yeah.[2:24:43] Well, there you are.[2:24:44] I guess that sets the table pretty well.[2:24:46] Let's go to questions from the press.[2:24:49] Right in your face.[2:24:50] You didn't do shit.[2:24:51] You could go to 210.[2:24:52] Jake, I guess I would ask you to clarify.[2:24:53] 210?[2:24:54] 21030, I think.[2:24:55] 21030 is pretty good stuff.[2:24:56] I forget what happened.[2:24:57] I just wrote down random times.[2:24:59] Sure.[2:25:02] All right, let's see what happens here with young Jake.[2:25:05] But like, I'm the only one that's doing it.[2:25:07] So it doesn't really make sense to me.[2:25:09] But really, at the end of the day, this isn't celebrity boxing.[2:25:12] I am a celebrity who is boxing, yes, but I'm a real fighter.[2:25:16] I've shown that.[2:25:17] I'm 3 and 0 with 3 KOs.[2:25:19] 2 and 0 as a professional with 2 KOs.[2:25:21] But I'm the only celebrity or influencer that's fought in like the past two years.[2:25:26] So I'm really the only one doing it, so.[2:25:33] This is Jake's mom in the back of the press conference.[2:25:36] Oh, I'm not.[2:25:46] It's not my place to tell him.[2:25:47] She's too busy laughing at Jenkins jokes.[2:25:49] You're allowed to tell your kid.[2:25:50] Even if your kid makes a million dollars, you're allowed to tell your kid.[2:25:53] Slow down.[2:25:54] Slow down, buddy.[2:25:56] Like if my dad ever saw me acting like this, he'd go, stop.[2:26:00] He doesn't care if I'm making a billion dollars.[2:26:02] Not going to let me act like this.[2:26:04] You see Jake Paul's mom.[2:26:08] That's my boy.[2:26:11] I'm so proud.[2:26:12] I mean, everybody knows how miraculously awful this is.[2:26:17] My next question is for Ben.[2:26:19] Logan doesn't count or what?[2:26:20] He hasn't fought in two years if you pay attention closely to what I was saying.[2:26:24] And look, Logan's great.[2:26:25] He's a celebrity who's boxing, but at the end of the day, again, Logan is a real fighter.[2:26:29] No, he's not.[2:26:30] Who would whoop on a lot of guys.[2:26:33] Logan's lost twice to a video game YouTuber.[2:26:37] That's it.[2:26:39] Logan's never boxed anybody except a black British video gaming YouTuber named KSI.[2:26:51] That's a foot shorter than him.[2:26:53] That's it.[2:26:54] It's not a professional boxer.[2:26:56] It's never boxed a professional boxer.[2:26:59] Both of you are not boxers.[2:27:03] Who's better?[2:27:04] You or him at boxing?[2:27:05] Me, hands down.[2:27:06] That's why I'm 3 and 0, 3 KOs.[2:27:08] He's 0, 1 and 1.[2:27:10] Yeah.[2:27:11] He ever whoop your ass when you're the little brother?[2:27:14] Jake's mad.[2:27:16] That was a question, Jake.[2:27:18] You're supposed to respond.[2:27:19] I just don't care about your questions.[2:27:21] Okay.[2:27:22] So I'll take that as he rubbed your face in the carpet on a weekly basis.[2:27:26] So this guy don't know anything about the Pauls.[2:27:29] I could be a real asset to these boxers that are up against the Paul brothers.[2:27:35] You need to get hired by Floyd Mayweather's team if that actually happens.[2:27:39] To write for Mayweather.[2:27:40] Yeah.[2:27:41] Can somebody put me in touch with this Mayweather?[2:27:44] Nerd City.[2:27:45] Do you have the connections?[2:27:46] Nerd City.[2:27:47] I'm sure you know him.[2:27:48] You know Kane and Pia with those giant fucking tits.[2:27:51] Because somebody told this guy, they go, yeah, I think he gets really hung up when you mention[2:27:57] how he's living in his older brother's shadow.[2:28:00] And I think that was like a three, four, five.[2:28:02] That's not good enough.[2:28:03] We have so much better stuff.[2:28:04] There's so much great stuff.[2:28:05] We have hours of material.[2:28:07] That I could feed these boxers going up against the Pauls.[2:28:11] They should really look into hiring me as a consultant.[2:28:14] I'd do it for free.[2:28:17] Yeah, sure, Ben.[2:28:19] Ha ha ha ha.[2:28:21] Ha ha ha ha.[2:28:23] On that note, we'll go for one more virtual.[2:28:27] Vibes again.[2:28:28] Yeah.[2:28:29] And look at Jake when I zoom in.[2:28:31] I mean, look at this guy.[2:28:35] Look at how unhappy and in turmoil he is.[2:28:40] All right.[2:28:41] Do we skip ahead?[2:28:42] Do we keep playing?[2:28:43] You could play a couple more moments to 15 and then show the face off at the end.[2:28:48] Yeah.[2:28:49] Basically, the whole thing is like this.[2:28:51] Look at this guy.[2:28:52] And again, these messenger bags, they make you look bitch made.[2:28:56] Nobody looks tough with these satchels and purses.[2:29:01] When these man bags first came out years ago, we had a couple of iterations.[2:29:07] We had it first started happening at the airport.[2:29:11] You'd have a Thomas Middledge style guy and he'd wear a messenger bag like a laptop bag with a little thing.[2:29:17] And I go, that ain't it.[2:29:19] I'd rather see it with the backpack out at the airport.[2:29:24] This is what you're supposed to do if you have a backpack or a bag.[2:29:27] Hello, I'm here for my appointment.[2:29:29] And you hold it like this, like an old school 50s suitcase.[2:29:34] I don't care if it's a backpack and you hold it by the top nylon handle.[2:29:38] Hello, I'm here for my appointment.[2:29:40] I don't care if it's a suitcase.[2:29:41] Hello, I'm here for my appointment.[2:29:43] I don't care if it's a messenger bag.[2:29:45] Hello, I'm here.[2:29:47] That's appropriate.[2:29:50] Wearing the strap.[2:29:51] Hi, it's just my bag.[2:29:53] It's fine, though, because Fossil sells them under the men's logo.[2:29:58] It's not fine.[2:29:59] Wearing a backpack like this.[2:30:01] Hey, guys.[2:30:02] You look 10.[2:30:04] I hate when I got, hello, how are you?[2:30:07] Are these side bags for boys even still like a thing?[2:30:11] No, well, this is the newest iteration.[2:30:13] I thought that that went out in like 2018.[2:30:15] Yeah, so what happened is in 2016 and 17, Supreme came out with a collaboration with[2:30:23] Louis Batand.[2:30:27] And they had a little sidestrap, little red purse thing.[2:30:32] But because it was Supreme, which is how I pronounce it now, everybody needed it.[2:30:38] And they wore it.[2:30:39] And it's such a feminine look.[2:30:42] It's not doing you any favor.[2:30:44] I would rather you like wheel around your stuff in a little Daisy red rider wagon.[2:30:53] Right?[2:30:54] Like a wagon, a child's wagon.[2:30:57] I would rather I would rather you be in one of those power wheels.[2:31:01] Is it called a power wheel where you sit in there and you drive it?[2:31:05] It's got a little better.[2:31:06] Those ones where you put your two feet on the thing and then the power from your feet[2:31:10] causes a little car to go.[2:31:12] Is that a thing?[2:31:13] Yeah, they had them at the stampede.[2:31:14] Why don't I own that?[2:31:15] I want to own that device.[2:31:16] You sit in it as a little baby.[2:31:18] Oh, well then I don't want it if it's for a little baby.[2:31:20] No, thank you.[2:31:21] But I'm saying it's better than a backpack.[2:31:22] All right, let's go back to Snakey Jakey.[2:31:26] He's not doing too well.[2:31:28] He hasn't made a legit friend in nine years.[2:31:31] He's hanging out with these fellas that use and abuse him.[2:31:35] Yo, Jake, I get 500 bucks.[2:31:38] But he abuses them too.[2:31:39] He steals their songs.[2:31:40] Well, yeah.[2:31:41] Oh, yeah, he steals your music.[2:31:43] But every black guy, I mean, his whole crew is like 16 black guys and they're all like,[2:31:47] yo, bro.[2:31:48] This is a black guy and Jake's crew.[2:31:51] Yo, bro.[2:31:53] 1719 Calabasas Avenue.[2:31:56] I'm telling you, he's letting us do whatever we want.[2:32:00] Bring everybody by.[2:32:02] Yeah.[2:32:03] Open wallet, open bar, open food.[2:32:08] Do whatever we want.[2:32:11] Any.[2:32:12] No, he loves black.[2:32:14] He wants to be black.[2:32:16] Let's do it all.[2:32:18] That to me is so pathetic.[2:32:19] It's like the black people are using him.[2:32:21] He's using them to appear more gangster.[2:32:24] But at the end of the day, he's the Al Bundy on the couch.[2:32:29] You know, dad, can I have five hundred dollars?[2:32:32] Here's the five hundred black friend.[2:32:34] All right.[2:32:35] Let's hear what he says next.[2:32:36] There's going to be shit talk going into it.[2:32:38] You know, one of the things that I appreciated about him earlier, I said it, is that and[2:32:43] you know, his brother, too, like they have somehow convinced their fans that they're[2:32:47] real fighters.[2:32:48] It's tremendous.[2:32:49] It's, you know, it takes an act.[2:32:51] It takes a show.[2:32:52] He's done that.[2:32:53] He says, pull in the fire truck, me and rice and chicken and shit like that.[2:32:56] Like, I'm in this for life.[2:33:00] That's that's tremendous.[2:33:01] Right now.[2:33:02] Now, posture second, Jake, actually, in those past two seconds, looked like he was going.[2:33:07] Deep breath, man.[2:33:08] Deep breath.[2:33:09] Yeah.[2:33:10] Yeah.[2:33:11] Well, really, he did like a big breath.[2:33:12] He wears his emotions right on his face.[2:33:15] Yeah.[2:33:16] And watch him zoomed in.[2:33:17] Right now.[2:33:18] Yes.[2:33:19] Right now.[2:33:20] That's that's tremendous.[2:33:21] Yeah.[2:33:22] Look at him.[2:33:23] Suck a dick.[2:33:24] Suck a dick.[2:33:25] One more.[2:33:26] We have one more love this old man boxing bullshit, man.[2:33:31] And you go, at least somebody here, you know, is here with some.[2:33:36] But, you know, then I zoom in to these guys.[2:33:38] This is guys just as crazy.[2:33:40] But look at this guy.[2:33:41] This looks like Tom goes to the mayor cartoon of some melting, hideous beast.[2:33:49] He ain't all together either.[2:33:51] So, you know, it's just crazy.[2:33:53] You're going to do.[2:33:54] Who are you?[2:33:55] Why does boxing have so many of these guys, characters?[2:33:58] Who are all these people, announcers and these guys?[2:34:02] There's like a million guys surrounding boxing like that guy's never fought.[2:34:07] He's not a coach.[2:34:08] It's not a ref.[2:34:09] It's not a commentator.[2:34:11] Why is he around?[2:34:12] There's like 50 million of him that.[2:34:17] Are around.[2:34:18] There's like 50 million of him that are always.[2:34:23] Who are these people?[2:34:25] All right.[2:34:26] Let's hear some more.[2:34:27] Cool question.[2:34:28] And that's going to wrap things up for us.[2:34:30] So go ahead.[2:34:31] From full reptile.[2:34:32] You can get a two twenty nine forty five to see.[2:34:36] And look at this young.[2:34:37] Way more like every part of this is cringe, but it's like an hour.[2:34:40] Twenty nine.[2:34:41] What?[2:34:42] Two twenty nine forty five.[2:34:43] Yeah.[2:34:44] And yeah.[2:34:45] Go watch the full thing at home.[2:34:47] Especially if you actually want to watch this fight, because I didn't really care about this before.[2:34:51] But now, of course, I absolutely need to see it.[2:34:54] Here is the they do this thing where they do the head to head.[2:34:59] I thought you had to get undressed to do this.[2:35:02] Yeah. What kind of cheating is this?[2:35:04] Oh, my God.[2:35:11] I'm sorry.[2:35:17] Sorry, guys, I had to take a phone call.[2:35:19] Hello.[2:35:21] It's the shoe store.[2:35:23] Yeah, I need about the 50 pairs of shoes.[2:35:30] Thank you.[2:35:31] Shoe store.[2:35:33] Call from the shoe store.[2:35:35] You check this.[2:35:36] Thank you for my knee.[2:35:38] Check out this way in.[2:35:49] Look at this.[2:35:50] And they've got covered glass shut up so that they don't give each other the disease, which is basically just the flu with a better publicist.[2:36:00] Watch this.[2:36:01] The ball.[2:36:03] You know what the protocols look at.[2:36:08] Jake wants to fight.[2:36:11] Oh, head to head.[2:36:12] Look at these guys.[2:36:13] Why?[2:36:14] Every time Jake fights, he's with a smaller guy.[2:36:18] Look at this.[2:36:19] Here's look where Jake's chest ends here.[2:36:22] It's so much taller.[2:36:25] Why can't they get a guy that's as big as Jake to fight him?[2:36:28] Every guy Jake fights is a foot shorter than him.[2:36:32] It's not fair.[2:36:34] But let's watch this.[2:36:36] This gets pretty good.[2:36:42] Now he looks like Simon Melons.[2:36:45] Remember that guy?[2:36:46] Watch this.[2:36:51] Jake's fight stance.[2:36:57] Oh, wait.[2:36:59] So he kind of puts his any he double thinks that this aspirin, he wants to give Jake one of those fake face pushes.[2:37:06] So bitchy.[2:37:08] But then he kind of like starts grabbing Jake's face, but then realizes and kind of pulls back.[2:37:12] So he's kind of just imagine Jake's face is the mic.[2:37:15] He's kind of going like this.[2:37:19] Right.[2:37:20] But Jake flips the fuck out.[2:37:23] Watch this.[2:37:25] Like he wants to kill.[2:37:27] Watch this.[2:37:29] Oh, look at Jake.[2:37:31] Jake does a little push.[2:37:33] Did you see Jake's little push?[2:37:35] Watch Jake's little push again.[2:37:36] I'm going to zoom in when he does it.[2:37:42] Look at him.[2:37:47] Get the fuck back here.[2:37:48] Palm angels.[2:37:50] I heard it was expensive, so I bought it.[2:37:52] I fucking can't stand palm angels, by the way.[2:37:55] But also when he pushes Ben, Ben doesn't even like flinch or he didn't even care.[2:38:01] So that made me feel like maybe he won't be able to be immediately knocked out by Jake.[2:38:05] So there it is.[2:38:06] What day is the fight?[2:38:07] I'm interested now.[2:38:08] It worked.[2:38:09] They got it.[2:38:10] They got it.[2:38:11] We should watch it live.[2:38:12] But then I remember they're so strict.[2:38:13] They'll probably take.[2:38:14] No, I don't like doing anything live.[2:38:17] I'm in just like I'm always in with these.[2:38:20] I wish every fool that I hated had to do a boxing match every three months.[2:38:24] It would be great.[2:38:25] Except for me.[2:38:26] I'm never doing that.[2:38:27] Okay.[2:38:28] I wouldn't do a boxing match if it was just a dance in that arena.[2:38:32] And they awarded me $500 million at the end.[2:38:34] What if it was a karaoke competition?[2:38:37] If it's in a stadium, the answer is no.[2:38:41] If it's in a ring, the answer is double no.[2:38:44] Oh, I'm like dying.[2:38:46] You're doing great.[2:38:48] Remember, it's your sick day, so you're allowed to act sick.[2:38:50] But every day is a sick day.[2:38:52] This is like when you go into work.[2:38:54] This is like when you call your boss and you go, I can't come in.[2:38:56] I'm sick.[2:38:57] But then the boss goes, are you serious?[2:38:58] We have a really important meeting today.[2:38:59] And you go, okay.[2:39:00] But you weren't really that sick in the first place.[2:39:02] So the whole day you're going.[2:39:04] I can't relate to having a boss.[2:39:07] Sorry.[2:39:08] I'm better.[2:39:10] Look at this.[2:39:12] Come on, they got you.[2:39:14] Regarding the fight.[2:39:16] Come on, they got you.[2:39:19] No.[2:39:20] Sorry.[2:39:21] You don't understand Mike and how he works.[2:39:24] Nobody got me.[2:39:25] All right.[2:39:26] You're thinking of another guy.[2:39:27] You know, I give everybody a pass for their initial thing that they say to me.[2:39:31] No, that's exactly what you should be saying to most people.[2:39:34] Anytime you have a criticism or, oh, he's doing this, you're right.[2:39:39] Usually, but not for me.[2:39:41] Am I right?[2:39:43] People are asking what you think about the YouTubers versus TikTokers.[2:39:46] I love it.[2:39:47] I love the Bryce Hall is up against Aaron Shorkin or what is it?[2:39:53] I love it.[2:39:54] I would like to see.[2:39:55] Here's what I'm most interested in.[2:39:57] And you guys, this is going to go way over your head.[2:39:59] They're doing a YouTube versus TikTok fight.[2:40:01] I'm very interested in this for two reasons.[2:40:04] First of all, Jake Paul, the YouTube boxer, but he's not on this fight.[2:40:09] So they're holding a whole fight without Jake Paul.[2:40:12] And Jake Paul's trying to get in as the headliner.[2:40:15] Nobody wants him.[2:40:16] How pathetic.[2:40:17] He thought he was the YouTube fighter.[2:40:20] Bryce Hall is the headliner.[2:40:22] It was basically the new Jake Paul for TikTok.[2:40:25] I mean, this guy's insane.[2:40:26] Bryce Hall.[2:40:27] Do you know this Bryce Hall guy?[2:40:28] He doesn't.[2:40:29] Listen to this.[2:40:30] This is something we learned.[2:40:31] Maybe I should find it.[2:40:32] Yeah, find it.[2:40:33] Wait till you hear this.[2:40:34] There's this guy Bryce Hall.[2:40:35] He's incredible.[2:40:37] And we've all known a guy like Bryce Hall that we went to school with.[2:40:41] And you go, that's a bad kid.[2:40:46] You know how there's a look.[2:40:48] And here's why talking about Bryce Hall is good.[2:40:50] And here's a new take on Bryce Hall.[2:40:52] Bryce Hall is what you call a bad kid.[2:40:57] Do you remember those kids in school that were like bad kids?[2:41:01] They weren't popular because they were bad.[2:41:03] You kind of looked at them as like, ooh.[2:41:07] You come from like a poor, like our district is pretty well off.[2:41:12] You're from the poorest part of our district.[2:41:16] I've seen the school.[2:41:17] I've taken other kids buses home.[2:41:19] I've seen where you live.[2:41:21] You're on the outskirts of our development.[2:41:25] But you come to the same school.[2:41:26] Your name is Shane.[2:41:28] There was always a white trash kid.[2:41:30] And every grade I had, there was a white trash, abusive dad, bully kid named Shane.[2:41:40] And they'd always have those like sandblasted Florida eyes.[2:41:45] They always have those eyelids that kind of.[2:41:48] And Bryce Hall has the same look.[2:41:51] And I think that look comes from an abusive drunk dad, but they still like have a family.[2:41:57] I think it's a fetal alcohol syndrome thing because of the spread of our eyes.[2:42:00] It could be.[2:42:01] Like all those guys who have those like eyelids that kind of like flap over and come down.[2:42:09] I can't describe it.[2:42:10] They all look.[2:42:11] Hooded eyes.[2:42:12] Yeah, hooded eyes.[2:42:13] They have this mean, bully, bad kid, white trash look.[2:42:19] And he's got that look.[2:42:20] I mean, that's it.[2:42:23] You know, who else in my school had this look?[2:42:25] You had Shane and then you had this one kid named Randy.[2:42:29] I'm not kidding.[2:42:30] Randy seems like a nice guy named Randy.[2:42:33] I won't say his last name because of the Googlers, but we had this kid named Randy.[2:42:39] He's the type of kid.[2:42:40] He wants.[2:42:41] I was walking up the stairs in school.[2:42:43] I didn't even know him.[2:42:45] We had never met, never talked.[2:42:48] And we had no classes together.[2:42:51] And there was no reason for him to hate me.[2:42:54] Now listen, I'm walking up the stairs and all of a sudden my wind is knocked out.[2:43:01] Randy has kicked me in the rib and I've fallen backwards down.[2:43:06] I go, Randy, we haven't even met.[2:43:10] Oh, fuck you.[2:43:13] He would bully.[2:43:15] He would take a stab at bullying kids without even meeting them.[2:43:19] And it would start with a kick.[2:43:21] I couldn't believe it.[2:43:23] Before I could even figure out what happened, I was like this.[2:43:30] He had knocked the wind out of me.[2:43:32] I go, Randy, what are you?[2:43:34] He knew.[2:43:35] He even felt bad.[2:43:36] He never met with me again.[2:43:39] But I go, Randy, Randy.[2:43:42] There were two Randys at my high school and both of them were girls and spelled it with an I at the end.[2:43:48] Oh, yeah, my aunt.[2:43:49] I have an Aunt Randy with an I at the end, yeah.[2:43:52] She's trash.[2:43:53] She's shit too.[2:43:54] No, she's amazing.[2:43:55] But I said to Randy, no, and you would drive past his house.[2:43:58] He lived in this development.[2:44:00] He would be the guy where you drive past, there'd be like eight lawnmowers on the lawn,[2:44:04] ski-dos and four-wheelers on the lawn and a million basketballs and deflated footballs.[2:44:09] Yes, and they were always really poor, but they didn't have a treehouse.[2:44:12] They have a treehouse, basketball hoops.[2:44:15] There's always a million people on the lawn.[2:44:17] You ever met a kid like that?[2:44:18] Oh, yeah.[2:44:19] You go into their basement.[2:44:20] It's gooey bottles of empty whiskey everywhere that they're shooting with pallet rifles,[2:44:26] and the dad's fine with it.[2:44:27] But the dad and the mom still get along for somehow.[2:44:31] They actually kind of have a happy relationship.[2:44:33] That's a bad kid.[2:44:35] So, yeah, there's this bad kid.[2:44:37] And those kids' parents would never care about them doing homework or skipping school.[2:44:44] There was this one kid who would just never show up to school, but everybody was friends with them for some reason.[2:44:48] Then you'd go over to his house after school in the neighborhood to see what he was up to.[2:44:52] And then he was like, oh, I just didn't go to school today.[2:44:54] And the mom would be sitting there being like, he didn't go.[2:44:58] Randy's parents did not care if he went to school.[2:45:01] He had nine brothers.[2:45:02] By the way, you have nine brothers when you're a Randy, or I bet you Bryce Hall's got 17 brothers.[2:45:09] There were all these.[2:45:10] And you know what's funny about Randy?[2:45:12] Randy had brown hair.[2:45:14] He had a brother that was older that I was introduced to when I got into high school.[2:45:18] Ooh, I thought Randy was bad.[2:45:20] But the brother was taller, skinnier.[2:45:23] And he had hair.[2:45:24] I don't know if you know that guy Roger Klotz from the show Doug.[2:45:28] He was just like that guy Roger from Doug, right?[2:45:31] The bully.[2:45:32] He had slicked back red hair, shaved on the side, slicked back.[2:45:36] He had the meanest face.[2:45:38] This would be him at the bus stop.[2:45:41] I can't even do a face at me.[2:45:43] He was so mean.[2:45:44] You could smell the cigarettes from his dad's cigarette on him in second grade.[2:45:49] Such a fuck.[2:45:51] He's throwing ice balls at people.[2:45:55] I got to show you.[2:45:56] Oh yes, you got to see this Bryce clip.[2:45:57] I almost forgot.[2:45:58] Watch this so people don't cover this.[2:46:00] You want to, it's just queued up?[2:46:02] Yes.[2:46:04] Here's Bryce Hall with Slim Anus, Charlene.[2:46:11] What is her name?[2:46:12] Charlie Jordan.[2:46:13] Is it Charlie?[2:46:14] Oh, I don't know.[2:46:15] Charlie Jordan, an Instagram model.[2:46:18] I call her Slim Anus.[2:46:20] And what's Slim Anus?[2:46:22] Pull up her Instagram for me.[2:46:24] I'll show you.[2:46:25] Charlie Jordan.[2:46:26] She is like friends with Daisy Keach.[2:46:30] She's friends with the clubhouse girls.[2:46:33] She seems nice though.[2:46:34] She actually does seem nice.[2:46:36] She doesn't ever get anything to make me.[2:46:37] Here's my problem.[2:46:38] But this is what I don't understand.[2:46:39] If you're so nice, what are you hanging out with this Bryce Hall?[2:46:43] That's true.[2:46:44] If you're so nice.[2:46:45] Especially after what he says here.[2:46:46] She does seem nice and she smokes a lot of weed.[2:46:49] But she also hangs out with Tana.[2:46:51] Look at this girl here and let's see if people think she's hot.[2:46:55] To me, this is what I call Slim Anus and I'll tell you why.[2:46:59] So here she is.[2:47:00] Instagram model.[2:47:01] She's always showing her rear.[2:47:05] But to me, that's a Slim Anus.[2:47:14] It's just slim enough to make you really doubt what you're doing here.[2:47:23] Let me find a slimmer photo.[2:47:27] You know where I got this term Slim Anus from?[2:47:30] Here.[2:47:31] Here's a perfect example of Slim Anus.[2:47:33] Look at that.[2:47:34] Look.[2:47:35] It's like green too.[2:47:36] There's like no hit.[2:47:39] Well, I don't know what it is.[2:47:40] It disgusts me.[2:47:41] It reminds me of a.[2:47:44] I think she looks incredible.[2:47:46] Really?[2:47:47] Oh, Slim Anus down.[2:47:50] I got that from Eminem.[2:47:52] Eminem has this line.[2:47:53] He goes, Slim Anus.[2:47:54] Damn right, Slim Anus.[2:47:55] I don't get fucked in mind like you two little flaming faggots.[2:47:59] Because I guess ICP, the Insane Clown Posse, their nickname for Slim Shady was Slim Anus.[2:48:05] So he goes, yeah, Slim Anus.[2:48:08] What should it be?[2:48:11] Loosh?[2:48:12] So this is Slim Anus.[2:48:15] That's not a good nickname for a model.[2:48:17] If any models don't deserve hate.[2:48:20] I know.[2:48:21] I guess she's okay.[2:48:22] She's never done anything that I'm like, ugh.[2:48:24] Well, she started.[2:48:25] She's one of these models.[2:48:27] And here she is.[2:48:28] She actually has naturally curly hair.[2:48:30] Which it really brings out the Jordan in her if you catch my drift.[2:48:36] You know.[2:48:37] That's very Jordan.[2:48:39] That's Jerry Kramer right there.[2:48:41] She's got her own talk show now.[2:48:43] This just came out.[2:48:44] And her first guest was Bryce Hall.[2:48:47] He's going to say something so shocking.[2:48:50] Listen to this.[2:48:51] This is all you need to know about Bryce Hall.[2:48:54] He's not a TikToker when I met you.[2:48:56] And now you are.[2:48:57] Thanks to Taylor.[2:48:58] Yay![2:48:59] Shout out Taylor.[2:49:00] He is the best at TikTok.[2:49:01] I mean, I was definitely doing TikTok for a little bit.[2:49:04] But when I started hanging out with him and the whole squad, all you guys.[2:49:07] I was like, how can I not get into this?[2:49:09] The audios get stuck in my head for like, like the same thing plays in my head.[2:49:12] Like over and over and over and over.[2:49:14] And I feel like I'm going crazy.[2:49:15] I'm like, this is insane.[2:49:16] I only know songs from TikTok.[2:49:18] Really?[2:49:19] Yeah.[2:49:20] I only know songs from TikTok.[2:49:24] Listen to this.[2:49:25] When's the last time you listened to an album?[2:49:27] I've never listened to an album.[2:49:29] I've never listened to an album.[2:49:36] That could be a bad kid.[2:49:37] And he doesn't even think that's crazy.[2:49:40] That could be a bad kid.[2:49:42] I actually don't like the sound of music.[2:49:45] Oh, the movie?[2:49:46] No music.[2:49:48] The sound of it.[2:49:49] Not for me.[2:49:50] Never listened to an album.[2:49:54] To me.[2:49:55] I think I think that's enough evidence to put somebody like that should be that.[2:50:00] I don't know.[2:50:01] I think we should look into that more.[2:50:03] I hear about these people once in a while.[2:50:05] There's like one out of a million.[2:50:07] I think it is like someone will enjoy that.[2:50:11] And it blows my hair back.[2:50:13] That's why Todd better left the show.[2:50:15] Listen to this.[2:50:16] Really?[2:50:17] Yeah.[2:50:18] When's the last time you listened to an album?[2:50:20] I've never listened to an album.[2:50:22] You heard it here first, guys.[2:50:24] This is what I mean.[2:50:25] How nice could she be?[2:50:26] You should kick him off the show.[2:50:28] If somebody said that to me, you don't listen to music, I don't go,[2:50:30] you heard it here first, my best friend Bryce.[2:50:33] I'd go, no, no, no, we have an incident here.[2:50:35] Just go back five seconds and listen to what he says here.[2:50:38] I only know songs from TikTok.[2:50:40] Really?[2:50:41] Yeah.[2:50:42] When's the last time you listened to an album?[2:50:43] I've never listened to an album.[2:50:46] You heard it here first, guys.[2:50:48] I'm not like a huge fan of music, and a lot of people are like shocked about that.[2:50:51] Really?[2:50:52] Yeah, especially because I'm kind of a TikToker.[2:50:54] I literally never listen to music.[2:50:56] What's a guy that lives in your house that always plays house music?[2:50:58] I'm not a huge fan of music.[2:51:00] I've literally never listened to music.[2:51:04] Yikes.[2:51:05] Press one in the chat if you have never listened to an album[2:51:09] and you're not a fan of music.[2:51:10] Yeah, seriously.[2:51:12] Because this isn't the show for you.[2:51:13] No joke numbers.[2:51:14] I want to know seriously.[2:51:15] No joke numbers.[2:51:16] All right, what do we got next for the people here today?[2:51:18] People love Red Bar.[2:51:20] What do we have for them?[2:51:21] What can we do?[2:51:22] We got a lot of stuff.[2:51:23] A lot of stuff.[2:51:24] Should we do Kill Tony next?[2:51:26] I would love to.[2:51:28] Yeah, that's perfect.[2:51:29] Oh, really, dude?[2:51:30] Oh, really, dude?[2:51:31] The factabano at your body right now.[2:51:36] Classic Kill Tony with Tony getting mad.[2:51:39] My favorite thing.[2:51:41] So there'd be no piercing without me[2:51:43] if I didn't know I was an NFT.[2:51:46] Remember that?[2:51:47] Bathroom break.[2:51:48] You're taking a bathroom break right now?[2:51:50] All right, we'll wait for her to get back here.[2:51:53] I guess we'll both take a break right now.[2:51:56] We'll be right back on Red Bar.[2:52:10] And you do realize if you don't like music in general,[2:52:21] you do have a problem.[2:52:23] You do need to see someone.[2:52:25] I hope you don't think the same thing as,[2:52:27] oh, I don't like tomatoes.[2:52:28] That's fine.[2:52:30] It's not the same.[2:52:31] I think the people who don't like music[2:52:33] don't really understand that.[2:52:34] No, no, no.[2:52:35] That's like, oh, I don't like color.[2:52:38] No, you have to like color.[2:52:41] Sorry.[2:52:42] You can't prefer not seeing in color.[2:52:47] It would be like saying, oh, no, no, no.[2:52:49] I do not come.[2:52:52] Orgasms are not for me, and that's a normal thing.[2:52:55] It's not normal to not like music.[2:52:58] You're twisted.[2:52:59] You're fucking insane.[2:53:02] We'll be right back.[2:53:09] There was a guy in the chat, Jules, while you were gone.[2:53:11] He goes, music is men.[2:53:13] But he thinks that's something that you should even[2:53:16] be able to say in public.[2:53:17] Like, there's a couple.[2:53:18] I know.[2:53:19] No, no, no.[2:53:20] You're one in a million who thinks that.[2:53:22] Saying that you don't like sex is crazier[2:53:25] than saying that you don't like music to me.[2:53:27] Is less crazy.[2:53:28] Less crazy.[2:53:29] Yes, yes, yes.[2:53:30] Sorry, sorry, sorry.[2:53:31] All right, we'll be right back.[2:53:32] Young man, never, ever worry.[2:53:34] Worries bring a problem bigger and bigger.[2:53:37] And you lead a life of torture.[2:53:40] She told me, as a matter of fact,[2:53:42] I must show all my worries behind my back.[2:53:45] Keep in touch with the Almighty for guidance, love,[2:53:49] and serenity.[2:53:50] Oh, this guy brings, you know, we always talk about people[2:53:52] like there's some people without an inner monologue.[2:53:55] Listen to this new one.[2:53:57] Some people have never had a dream.[2:54:02] Some people, I'm just learning this from a guy in the chat.[2:54:05] Some people have never had a dream.[2:54:09] No.[2:54:10] I'm googling this now.[2:54:11] Welcome back to Red Bar here.[2:54:12] Is this true?[2:54:13] I love learning things like this,[2:54:14] because these are like little things[2:54:16] that we just didn't have the time to know.[2:54:19] Nobody ever told us.[2:54:21] I didn't know that people, there are people out there,[2:54:23] they didn't like music.[2:54:24] I didn't know that was an option.[2:54:27] I didn't know that there were people without inner monologues.[2:54:30] That's where you like talk to yourself during the day.[2:54:32] What am I going to do here?[2:54:33] What am I going to do here?[2:54:34] I'll open the fucking camera.[2:54:35] I'm going to come out here and fill this up.[2:54:37] Some people don't do any of that.[2:54:40] But now I'm learning there are some people who have never[2:54:43] had a dream or they have dreams, but they don't get them.[2:54:47] They don't like dreams.[2:54:49] Imagine not liking a nightmare.[2:54:52] That can't be possible.[2:54:53] Dreams are the key to your reality.[2:54:55] I don't know about that.[2:54:56] This is scaring me.[2:54:57] Yeah.[2:54:58] Dreams are the key to your reality.[2:54:59] You never listen to me.[2:55:00] I've only had four or five dreams.[2:55:03] One of them was Martin Luther King's dream.[2:55:07] I have a dream about George Floyd.[2:55:11] I've been having some psychotic nightmares lately.[2:55:14] Oh, let's discuss them.[2:55:15] I don't want to hear anything about your dreams.[2:55:17] I just read a dream themed book.[2:55:19] I'd rather read a book about you being brutally raped[2:55:22] than hear about one of your dreams to be honest.[2:55:24] Seriously.[2:55:25] I'll probably dream about that tonight.[2:55:26] Can somebody write a book about this one being raped?[2:55:30] It needs to be 400 pages or I won't read past page 10.[2:55:35] All right.[2:55:36] We're going to do kill Tony.[2:55:37] I love this.[2:55:38] Tony.[2:55:39] Tony motherfucking hinge cliff.[2:55:43] He grumpy.[2:55:45] He grumpy.[2:55:47] That's his friend Tiffany Haddish.[2:55:51] Tiffany no class Haddish.[2:55:53] He grumpy.[2:55:55] I feel guilty because I laughed at Tiffany Haddish.[2:55:58] I'm going to start going on auditions as Tiffany Haddish, a lower rate Tiffany Haddish.[2:56:05] Put me in the movie.[2:56:06] Color me with some fucking beige brown paint.[2:56:09] Put a mole on me and I'll go.[2:56:11] All right.[2:56:13] What's the difference?[2:56:15] The difference is the savings that you're going to save.[2:56:19] All right.[2:56:20] So here's the best thing about kill Tony.[2:56:22] We've been following kill Tony for years.[2:56:25] Remember the comedy store, main room, big show.[2:56:28] And these boys got rich off that show.[2:56:31] I mean, they were doing like four shows a night, 400 tickets a show, $60 a ticket on top of that advertisers.[2:56:39] Brian's running out.[2:56:40] He's buying Tesla's town.[2:56:43] He ran out and he bought the.[2:56:45] Well, he doesn't know much about sports cars, so you better quite.[2:56:50] Imagine that he probably went to rogue and he goes, what's like the best sports car I could buy.[2:56:54] And at that time, Rogan had just learned about the new Corvette that could take on a Lamborghini or something.[2:57:02] So we brought it up.[2:57:03] Rogan doesn't even like Corvettes, but he's like, dude, the new Corvette.[2:57:07] I'm not kidding.[2:57:08] It's fucking sick.[2:57:09] And that is what I'll get.[2:57:11] I don't know if you're in.[2:57:12] And trust me, they're driving around in a red fucking fairy ass Corvette.[2:57:17] Seriously, if you want a Corvette, you have to be in your mid fifties.[2:57:23] Live in the suburbs.[2:57:26] You've waited your whole life to have a Corvette at your third car.[2:57:30] You know how I know that?[2:57:31] Because it's in the driveway and your minivan and your SUV are parked in your two car fucking shithole.[2:57:39] And then you've got your you shine it on Sundays.[2:57:43] Fuck off with your Corvette.[2:57:47] I mean, really, if somebody told me, Mike, here's ninety thousand dollars, pick out a car.[2:57:52] I wouldn't even remember that a Corvette was an option.[2:57:56] That's how it should be.[2:57:58] He went out and bought Beep Beep Corvette.[2:57:59] It's got eight speedometers, he claims every meter on his car.[2:58:07] He thinks there's a speedometer.[2:58:09] This is not not a joke.[2:58:12] So I fucking hate that.[2:58:13] And but they're fucking out of money.[2:58:15] I don't know if Joe Rogan is going, guys, I understand COVID and all this.[2:58:19] So here's some money.[2:58:21] Did Rogan like make copies of his credit card for all these guys?[2:58:25] Tom Segura and Brian and Tony.[2:58:28] Here's the company card, the Austin card.[2:58:31] You could use it for six months during COVID because I'm helping comedians.[2:58:36] Is that what he's doing?[2:58:39] After this, a message from Owen Benjamin.[2:58:41] OK, I want to play that right after this.[2:58:44] Tony Hinchcliffe not doing well.[2:58:46] And guess what?[2:58:47] Texas has removed all restrictions as of almost a month ago.[2:58:52] Texas came out and they go, guys, you know, we're going to remove all COVID restrictions, no masks, full capacity, do whatever you want.[2:59:05] And they all rejoiced.[2:59:08] They love it.[2:59:09] And then a week later, the governor, he gets on Twitter, he goes, Joe Biden just said that immigrants could come to Texas.[2:59:16] So if anyone gets COVID, it's because of the immigrants.[2:59:19] I couldn't believe it.[2:59:21] But the great part about this is and I love.[2:59:27] Here's my new thing. It used to be I want lockdowns forever.[2:59:30] Right. I love lockdown. I love lockdowns.[2:59:34] I love lockdowns. I love lockdowns.[2:59:39] Love lockdowns.[2:59:42] You're feeling better since that kiva.[2:59:44] Do we have that love lockdowns?[2:59:45] I think it might be.[2:59:46] Love lockdowns.[2:59:47] There's barely any 808s karaoke.[2:59:49] Because I love lockdowns.[2:59:51] That's a parody.[2:59:52] There's a song called Love Lockdown.[2:59:56] There's got to be an instrumental, you know.[2:59:58] Here, I think I found one, but I don't know what the quality is going to be like.[3:00:01] Get me the lyrics.[3:00:03] I love lockdowns.[3:00:05] But I'll tell you something about lockdowns and then we'll show you a guy.[3:00:08] This has lyrics and everything?[3:00:10] I think so.[3:00:11] Check this out, niggas.[3:00:13] Wait, don't throw that on me again.[3:00:14] Check this out, niggas.[3:00:17] Alright, we'll keep that there.[3:00:18] Hit it.[3:00:19] You can pass it.[3:00:20] Wait.[3:00:24] Hello. Hello.[3:00:26] Yeah, that sounds cool.[3:00:28] Let's try this, Jules.[3:00:29] Oh wait, I got to do it.[3:00:33] A song about loving Bob.[3:00:34] Jump in when he steals my bus.[3:00:41] Let's see.[3:01:07] You don't know this song.[3:01:10] We lose control, the system overload.[3:01:13] Screaming, no, no, no, no, no.[3:01:17] I'm not loving you the way I wanted to.[3:01:21] See, I want to move, but I can't escape.[3:01:25] So I keep it low, keep a secret code.[3:01:29] So everybody else, yet I don't have to know.[3:01:33] So keep, I love lockdowns.[3:01:35] I love lockdowns.[3:01:37] Yeah, Mike loves lockdowns.[3:01:39] He loves lockdowns.[3:01:41] Yeah, I know, I love lockdowns.[3:01:43] I love lockdowns.[3:01:45] I love lockdowns.[3:01:47] You lose.[3:01:49] Not with you.[3:01:51] Yeah, what's so funny?[3:01:53] Yeah, I love lockdowns.[3:01:56] Hold on.[3:01:57] Yeah, there's something to lose.[3:01:59] So I got to move.[3:02:01] I can't keep myself.[3:02:03] And I keep you too.[3:02:05] So keep, I keep in mind[3:02:07] when I'm on my own.[3:02:09] Somewhere I'm from home[3:02:11] in the danger zone.[3:02:13] How many times did I tell you[3:02:16] I finally got through you?[3:02:18] You lose.[3:02:20] You lose.[3:02:21] Cause I love lockdowns.[3:02:23] I love lockdowns.[3:02:25] Yeah, no, I love lockdowns.[3:02:27] Mike loves lockdowns.[3:02:29] You know I love lockdowns.[3:02:31] I love lockdowns.[3:02:33] I do.[3:02:35] I do.[3:02:37] I love lockdowns.[3:02:39] I love lockdowns.[3:02:41] You know I love lockdowns.[3:02:43] I love lockdowns.[3:02:45] You know I love lockdowns.[3:02:47] I love lockdowns.[3:02:49] I do.[3:02:51] I do.[3:02:53] Okay.[3:02:55] I think they understand.[3:02:57] I love lockdowns.[3:02:59] Lockdowns.[3:03:01] 2012 and forever.[3:03:05] Dr. Dre.[3:03:09] We did it.[3:03:15] King Push.[3:03:19] Otis Max.[3:03:21] Lockdowns.[3:03:23] 2020.[3:03:25] We got it.[3:03:27] Expulsions.[3:03:37] Lockdowns forever.[3:03:41] Love lockdowns.[3:03:43] I love lockdowns.[3:03:45] You know I love lockdowns.[3:03:47] I love lockdowns.[3:03:49] You know he loves lockdowns.[3:03:51] He loves lockdowns.[3:03:53] Mike does.[3:03:55] Mike does[3:03:57] He is a Jewish reformer[3:03:59] He's always real big[3:04:01] He's always got a song[3:04:03] So make you scream[3:04:05] You know he loves lockdowns[3:04:07] He loves lockdowns[3:04:09] He does[3:04:11] He does[3:04:13] I love these lockdowns![3:04:25] I love these lockdowns![3:04:29] I love lockdowns[3:04:31] I love lockdowns[3:04:33] You know he loves lockdowns[3:04:35] He loves lockdowns[3:04:37] You know he loves lockdowns[3:04:39] He loves lockdowns[3:04:41] He does[3:04:43] He does[3:04:49] 2021 forever[3:04:53] Floyd[3:04:55] Chauvin[3:04:57] The cop[3:04:59] You see on the show[3:05:01] He loves lockdowns[3:05:05] And he loves what he's doing[3:05:07] To ring with all his new equipment[3:05:13] Thank you everybody[3:05:15] I've been telling you I love these lockdowns[3:05:17] But not anymore[3:05:19] Now I'm for[3:05:21] Reopening[3:05:27] Now redo it but as you don't love lockdowns[3:05:29] anymore[3:05:31] I don't love lockdowns[3:05:33] I don't love lockdowns[3:05:35] All right, turn that off, turn my lights up.[3:05:41] Come on, this is a professional show, it's not Club Madonna, we're not here to all fuck[3:05:45] each other.[3:05:46] Ooh, my thigh is riding.[3:05:49] You almost saw my little red riders.[3:05:55] Chipmunk Mike.[3:05:58] They're all saying this, you're fucking through, shut up you fucking kite.[3:06:01] I love how you picked up that chipmunk comment from a mile away, your biggest offense.[3:06:09] It's not what it said Jules, I'm joking around.[3:06:12] Someone did say that.[3:06:14] Oh, okay.[3:06:16] Boy he wasn't never no joke, nah nah, all summer murder he wrote, nah nah.[3:06:22] Yeah, do we have that?[3:06:23] Okay, enough with these songs, some people don't like music.[3:06:28] So I am a reopening, open the government guy, now I'll tell you why.[3:06:33] The comedy clubs now, if you want to reopen, this is great news, no masks, reopen the country,[3:06:39] I love that, I'm not being sarcastic, because it means that the comedy clubs must now be[3:06:48] at full sea, full capacity of course, yep, I have a small sea, small capacity.[3:06:57] Yeah, there's no excuse for two guys at your show.[3:07:02] I mean really, it started with the Zoom stand up, we thought that was pathetic.[3:07:07] A guy in like the blurriest security cam, you know, off frame, a mile ahead room over[3:07:16] his fucking head, enough headroom, you know, they could crush him if it fell onto him.[3:07:21] And you're going, okay, that's pathetic.[3:07:23] But then comedians got rather comfortable with their patheticism, and you're going to[3:07:28] see this tonight, and they started doing parking lot shows, which is great, I get it, you got[3:07:34] to get out there and practice the old stand up.[3:07:37] They'd do a parking lot show and there'd be 22 people in their cars going, and you go,[3:07:44] okay, very cute.[3:07:46] But this is COVID, okay, we're in it for the long haul, we don't have time for these shenanigans.[3:07:51] And then they started like, oh, okay, they're letting us do shows for like fewer people.[3:07:56] But here's the deal, it's like a regular comedy show, if it doesn't, here's my rule, if there's[3:08:01] not 200 people there, it's not a fucking show, okay?[3:08:06] It's a low life get together of fags.[3:08:10] So forget 200 people, you got guys like Sam Morrell, Mark Norma, these people during COVID[3:08:17] doing shows for like 12 people, 20 people.[3:08:23] What the fuck?[3:08:25] I mean, really, that's crazy.[3:08:27] And they've gotten like comfortable in it.[3:08:30] You hear jokes all the time, now they're even joking about it themselves.[3:08:32] I heard Big J goes, yeah, Rich Voss is telling people he sold out shows, he must love the[3:08:37] lockdown.[3:08:38] You know, because sold out show means there's like only 10 people there that's sold out,[3:08:43] you know, COVID capacity.[3:08:45] Hey, Dan, I feel kind of good.[3:08:49] You want to put mute on and see where this takes us?[3:08:53] Uh, yes.[3:08:56] All right.[3:08:56] The bonfire, I guess, is canceled.[3:08:58] Let's go kiss.[3:09:00] Big J and Dan Soder.[3:09:02] It's a scene from their life.[3:09:05] That's why the bonfire wasn't on for a few weeks, they were kissing.[3:09:09] But people are even saying that it's like, yeah, ha ha ha, you sold out.[3:09:12] It's pathetic.[3:09:14] For Rich Voss, for any comedian that we know their name, they should not be doing a show[3:09:20] for under 200 people, they shouldn't.[3:09:22] Even MTV unplugged, that's more than 200.[3:09:26] But comedians now, it's like they've let COVID eight months was all it took for them to go,[3:09:30] hey, there's 10 people here, pretty good turnout.[3:09:33] Pretty good turnout, 10 people.[3:09:35] No, not a show, not real.[3:09:38] You might as well not do it.[3:09:40] You just can't do it.[3:09:43] You know, I would rather you quit stand up and work at, you know, Baskin's.[3:09:50] Baskin Roberts.[3:09:53] And you just go, I can't do stand up.[3:09:54] I want to stand up unless 200 people sign up to see me.[3:09:58] So kill Tony.[3:10:00] This was their baby.[3:10:01] I can't wait.[3:10:02] We're moving out of California because these governors and their restrictions.[3:10:07] Let's go to a freedom state like Austin.[3:10:10] All right.[3:10:10] Well, they opened up.[3:10:11] Pretty free.[3:10:12] Why are there only 11 people at the kill Tony show?[3:10:18] There are no restrictions.[3:10:19] You can literally pack that fucker out to 200 if you want.[3:10:24] Even now that there's no COVID restrictions, there's no fire restrictions.[3:10:29] Those are done.[3:10:31] So why have the last two kill Tony's had 11 to 14 people in them?[3:10:39] Well, we're going to find out today because he grumpy.[3:10:45] Tony hates his life.[3:10:47] And Tony, yeah, we're watching you.[3:10:48] We're watching you with a fine tooth condom, and we're not going to let you get away with[3:10:54] this one.[3:10:56] You need to have your shows need to be turning 100 people away a night.[3:11:02] You cannot have 14 people in your audience and pretend that you're anything.[3:11:07] You can't have 30,000 views only per show and still be selling ads to air to, you know,[3:11:14] it makes me sick.[3:11:16] They open the show now with 10 ads, and then they've got one from a local restaurant.[3:11:20] Oh yeah.[3:11:21] And we just had Byron's barbecue.[3:11:23] Yeah.[3:11:25] Just amazing.[3:11:26] I mean, I really can't get my day started unless I go to Byron's.[3:11:30] And you're going, so they went to Byron's and they told them God knows what they told[3:11:37] Byron about how many people listen to this.[3:11:40] But I'm going, does Byron know he's paying for an ad for 14 people to hear?[3:11:46] I mean, there's 14 people at at Antone's.[3:11:51] Half of them are the comics.[3:11:52] A third of them are the staff.[3:11:54] They've been to Byron's.[3:11:56] You're not getting a new customer.[3:11:58] And the people who are listening online, there's only 30,000 of them left.[3:12:02] And probably 90% of them are never going to Austin ever.[3:12:07] So is Byron's paying a large sum of money to Tony thinking this is really big?[3:12:13] Is Tony going around on millions of downloads, millions of fans?[3:12:18] Rogan, MMA, Jocko Willinks.[3:12:23] It's all connected.[3:12:25] That'll be $1,000.[3:12:28] I hope he's not doing it.[3:12:29] This is why it's like, if you start calling their advertisers, that doesn't look good[3:12:34] in 2021, he's calling their sponsors.[3:12:37] But I do want to call.[3:12:38] What's wrong?[3:12:39] Is my ball?[3:12:40] No, I'm just fixing something.[3:12:41] I do want to call the sponsors because I want to go, how much?[3:12:44] What is he telling you?[3:12:45] What is he charging you?[3:12:47] Not to get them canceled, but for my own personal interview, the sponsors.[3:12:52] Well, there's a big difference between Mike David and Seth Simon.[3:12:54] See now, Seth Simon's contacts, the sponsors to have the guys canceled.[3:12:57] Mike David inquires to ask the sponsors why haven't they canceled their guy?[3:13:03] It's a huge difference.[3:13:05] Don't compare me to Seth Simon's.[3:13:07] Watch this.[3:13:08] Nigger, the word.[3:13:10] How could I be anything like Seth Simon's?[3:13:13] What kind of lib in this day and age would look you in the eye and you go.[3:13:19] The word nigger.[3:13:22] That's how you know you could trust me.[3:13:23] It's like, you know, oh, yeah, you a cop.[3:13:27] Then you do heroin right now.[3:13:29] And the cops like, oh, I'm a cop.[3:13:31] I can't.[3:13:32] All right.[3:13:32] That's how you know I'm not.[3:13:35] The lib, I'm willing to throw it all away for your peace of mind.[3:13:40] That's nice of you.[3:13:42] And that's the last time I'll ever say that dirty, disgusting word.[3:13:45] If I hear it out of your mouth, I'll wash them out with soap.[3:13:49] Did your mom ever tell you that I want to actually sue my mom and be like,[3:13:53] hey, your honor, now that everything's bad and we're going back in time and canceling people.[3:13:57] Well, my mom used to threaten me with putting a bar of poisonous[3:14:03] soap in my mouth for saying the word.[3:14:09] Well, my mom would be like Seth Simon's anyways.[3:14:13] Like, obviously, because, well, the PR is bad.[3:14:16] The PR is bad.[3:14:17] Here's the PR is bad.[3:14:19] So here's a comedy fan.[3:14:21] I'm going to show you what's been going on.[3:14:22] And this carries over to me.[3:14:24] Let me show you what's been going on.[3:14:25] Here's comedy fans.[3:14:26] All right.[3:14:27] You got a group of comedy fans.[3:14:29] They're fans of all these comedians.[3:14:32] And the comedians for the last four years have been going,[3:14:34] cancel culture.[3:14:40] And then all these comedy fans who listen to everything, big J and all that.[3:14:46] Let's pretend they're all over here at red bar.[3:14:47] Now they hate big J.[3:14:49] It's been two years.[3:14:51] They're on red bar side.[3:14:52] They hate Kumiya.[3:14:53] They hate big J.[3:14:54] They hate all this.[3:14:56] However, in their mind, they haven't erased this program from them.[3:15:03] It's like, you know, we get this a lot.[3:15:06] Oh, you got a girl on your show.[3:15:07] Oh, who's the hole?[3:15:09] Who's the hole?[3:15:10] We want red bar.[3:15:11] Oh, you want red bar?[3:15:13] Guess who came up with hole?[3:15:15] Anthony Kumiya.[3:15:17] That's where you got it from.[3:15:19] You got it from Kumiya.[3:15:21] You listen to red bar because you hate Kumiya.[3:15:24] Now you've forgotten his teachings.[3:15:27] His teachings still control you.[3:15:30] You're watching this.[3:15:31] Seth Simons came out of the jump with bad PR, right?[3:15:35] Seth Simons was explained to you as an SJW coming to attack free speech.[3:15:42] So when you see Seth Simons go after comics, that's all you can think about.[3:15:46] And maybe that is what he's doing.[3:15:48] I'm sure Seth Simons is a horrible guy and he has nothing honest about him.[3:15:53] And I'm sure that it would absolutely suck to have him on your ass.[3:15:59] But isn't it like funny what he's doing to everybody?[3:16:02] Well, yeah.[3:16:03] And but the thing is, here's why I bring it up.[3:16:06] Here's why I bring it up.[3:16:08] There are people trying to put my name in the same breath as his.[3:16:14] You got people like Seth Simons and Mike Redbar trying to cancel.[3:16:18] No, no, no.[3:16:19] I don't even take that as an insult.[3:16:21] You should.[3:16:22] And you need to, because we've got a thousand billion unprogrammed people who need to be[3:16:28] unprogrammed, winded up idiots who are still parroting what Louis J Gomez mistakenly taught[3:16:36] them.[3:16:37] Louis hates him.[3:16:39] But as a bystander, it's funny to have this stupid geek getting a ride.[3:16:46] Sure, sure, sure.[3:16:46] But you're not going to get you have to understand these guys.[3:16:50] Everybody in our chat right now.[3:16:52] Jules has been trained since birth to hate S J W's.[3:17:01] So any guy that calls out another guy for racism.[3:17:06] And they're even having a problem with me, like we'll call it Kumiya for racism because[3:17:10] we want Kumiya to be busted on anything.[3:17:14] Do you not understand?[3:17:16] Well, what's the difference between what?[3:17:18] Let's pretend there's zero difference.[3:17:20] We want him busted.[3:17:22] I think this is all SJWs want too.[3:17:25] They're too afraid to admit everyone's true.[3:17:28] I believe that to be true.[3:17:29] I know it's true.[3:17:30] Here's like you'll watch like even people like Keemstar and Nerd City.[3:17:34] They'll all sit around and talk about like how they hate certain people.[3:17:37] But so he's under this thing and they always feel like they have to say, listen, I just[3:17:42] want them to learn from this and I want to, you know, the victims to get shot.[3:17:48] No, you don't.[3:17:50] You know, like everything with this David Dobrik thing, it's like everyone wants to[3:17:54] expose David David.[3:17:57] It's not so that the victim of the crime that never happened.[3:18:02] Let's be perfectly clear, like half of the people being canceled didn't do shit.[3:18:08] But it's funny because what did you think was going to happen?[3:18:15] You greedy asshole.[3:18:16] So let's let's rewrite.[3:18:20] Let's reprogram the way we think about this.[3:18:22] So here's how I think about it now, if you want to catch up to me.[3:18:26] David Dobrik, right?[3:18:28] He did nothing wrong.[3:18:29] He's being dragged and canceled.[3:18:31] He's lost all his sponsors lately for being involved in eighth hand kind of sexual assault[3:18:40] in today's day.[3:18:41] I mean, this is stuff that like I did in first grade, you know, me as a first grader has[3:18:46] committed more sexual assault than everybody on the Internet in 2021.[3:18:50] I'm sure that Dom guy actually raped someone, but David didn't do that.[3:18:54] Here's the thing.[3:18:55] Like he's being accused of they're like we in David, in one of David's vlogs, some guy[3:19:00] bought a 20 year old booze and then later that night they had sex and she didn't like[3:19:05] it.[3:19:05] And so they're canceling David Dobrik for being like the ninth guy at a party where[3:19:12] one girl was kissed inappropriately.[3:19:15] And she probably wasn't even she probably didn't.[3:19:18] You know what I mean?[3:19:19] But now it's so strict.[3:19:21] It's so strict.[3:19:23] But I never will get on the side of hating the strictness.[3:19:28] I'll tell you why.[3:19:29] We know the new rules now that whether you like to admit it or not, the majority of online[3:19:37] people have decided for us, the companies and the websites we use and the majority of[3:19:44] online folks.[3:19:46] I'm not saying people in the world, but the majority of people have decided we're into[3:19:51] canceling people and it's getting more minor and minor, minor and as OK, we cancel this[3:19:57] guy for saying the N word.[3:19:58] Well, then the next guy is getting canceled for saying the R word.[3:20:01] And then when we run out of those, we're going to start canceling people for saying damn[3:20:05] in front of children.[3:20:06] But the point that you're trying to make is no, hold on, I'm getting there.[3:20:10] I'm going to get there.[3:20:14] You know, and once we cancel the guy for saying damn in front of children, then we're going[3:20:17] to get even more strict, be like this guy was at the same store and there were kids[3:20:22] there.[3:20:23] Cancel.[3:20:23] You know, that's like what's going to.[3:20:25] Here's how you.[3:20:28] Can protect yourself from this.[3:20:31] Don't try to be.[3:20:35] Famous.[3:20:38] Listen to this.[3:20:39] Oh, my, but isn't it everyone's right to be famous?[3:20:42] No, being famous is like the gayest, greediest, weirdest.[3:20:48] Give me all the gumballs in the gumball.[3:20:51] I mean, a guy wanting to be famous compared to a regular guy is the difference between[3:20:57] a kid wanting a quarter for a gumball machine and then another kid who wants to.[3:21:03] Dad, you got a wrench?[3:21:04] You got the Star Allen key?[3:21:06] We're unscrewing the machine.[3:21:08] I need seventy thousand balls of gum.[3:21:13] No one would need that much.[3:21:14] I mean, really, like two gumballs.[3:21:17] The small ones is enough for anybody.[3:21:20] So we've been kind of we've kind of forgotten and I don't think we ever really knew.[3:21:26] But if you're trying to be famous, it's not like the old days, not like, oh, this[3:21:31] dude was acting really cool and I was just famous, like it had nothing to do with him.[3:21:35] No, anybody who's famous is campaigning to be famous day in and day out.[3:21:40] It's they're all they do.[3:21:42] And you go, oh, my God, they're so lucky.[3:21:44] How do they get there?[3:21:44] How they get there?[3:21:45] How they do.[3:21:46] Now, they're not so lucky if you invested every minute into getting Instagram followers[3:21:50] of your life for the last five years, you would be famous, too.[3:21:54] Just has to do with what you're into.[3:21:56] So when I see these people get canceled, I go, wait, wait, wait.[3:21:59] They're not getting canceled for bad stuff.[3:22:01] They're getting canceled because they're very famous and they're in front of enough[3:22:08] people where it's too many different opinions.[3:22:13] All right.[3:22:13] So you wanted to be so famous that you got 20 million fans.[3:22:18] Now what?[3:22:18] Now what are you going to say to those people?[3:22:20] All you could really do is sit there and go.[3:22:23] Don't hurt me.[3:22:25] That's it.[3:22:26] Any opinion, you're going to have a huge argument with somebody in the 20 million.[3:22:31] It's you've gone too far.[3:22:33] You can't please those people.[3:22:34] And now it used to be, OK, Britney Spears, everybody knows her and you'd be at home.[3:22:41] And if you hated her, you just assumed it's probably just me and a few friends who hate[3:22:45] her that she's pretty famous.[3:22:46] Everyone likes her.[3:22:47] She's pretty big.[3:22:48] But nowadays, like somebody could be the most famous person in the world.[3:22:52] They have fucking enemies, man.[3:22:54] I mean, like every famous person, the nicest famous person I can think of, has like a dedicated[3:23:00] army of enemies trying to destroy and dismantle them.[3:23:04] So you're going, all right, it's been four years with this, right?[3:23:09] Probably more, but let's chalk it up to everybody who's been aware of this for four years.[3:23:15] Why are you trying to be famous right now?[3:23:17] Why are you trying to be in the public eye?[3:23:20] You want a million people on Twitter to give you an upvote on your tweet.[3:23:25] And then you're flabbergasted that half of those people are against your crazy opinion[3:23:34] about black people.[3:23:34] Like, what do you think is going to happen?[3:23:38] Again, if I go into Whole Foods and I stand up on the banana counter and I start going[3:23:44] here, here, you n-word Indian Phil, I mean, the place would go insane, right?[3:23:53] But if I say that here on the show, you get lol and ha ha ha.[3:23:58] Because the people coming to see me, they understand the context of the show, and it's[3:24:02] not a million people.[3:24:04] I don't understand what Brian Callan, what all these people don't get.[3:24:08] If you try to be famous, you want all that money, you want everyone to love you, you[3:24:11] want that fanfare, you have that greed, you got to take ad dollars for everybody.[3:24:17] Guess what?[3:24:19] There's no free lunch and they're going to get you somehow.[3:24:24] I don't know who they is yet.[3:24:26] The karma gods, the police, the government.[3:24:30] I don't know who they is, but it's yourself.[3:24:33] I think yourself isn't going to let yourself get away with it all.[3:24:38] You got to be decent.[3:24:40] You got to be reasonable.[3:24:42] You know, I look at famous people as highly unreasonable.[3:24:46] They're clawing for it all.[3:24:48] Yeah, it's going to come down on you.[3:24:50] You know what happens when you start clawing at a fucking mountain on the side of Malibu[3:24:53] during a drought?[3:24:54] Well, even like Ellen's show, David Dobrik's vogs probably have like the same amount of[3:25:00] viewers as Ellen.[3:25:02] Yet he has no infrastructure, HR people or anybody to make sure that everything's going[3:25:08] fine and they just do all these crazy stunts.[3:25:12] Let me talk about that.[3:25:12] So here you go.[3:25:14] Take the company Target.[3:25:16] How many people you think work for Target?[3:25:19] I don't know, a million.[3:25:22] How many people work for here?[3:25:23] Let's take a company.[3:25:24] Let's like, like how many?[3:25:28] I'm trying to just think of another show.[3:25:30] Well, no, no, no, no.[3:25:31] I'm trying to think of.[3:25:33] Well, yeah, you could compare it to like Conan O'Brien versus David Dobrik.[3:25:37] These people, these Internet celebrities, they think that they could have 20 million fans[3:25:43] and then it's just them and their friend managing it.[3:25:48] So like, imagine the NFL and you go, who's in charge?[3:25:53] And they're like, oh, it's this guy, Steve and his buddy, Ted.[3:25:57] And you go, how are they handling all this?[3:26:00] Aren't there a lot of so like a company that's that big that talks to a million or more people[3:26:05] and has a million or more customers.[3:26:08] They have like teams and legal advisors and everything's going through like risk reward[3:26:14] management and and then here comes David Dobrik and he's just got his bud, Jason, and they're[3:26:21] dealing with and trying to manage 30 million people.[3:26:25] It's you're going to get eaten alive.[3:26:27] And the teams that YouTubers hire, like you're like, oh, yeah, well, they have a whole team,[3:26:31] but their team is just like other friends, their age.[3:26:34] There's no team.[3:26:35] It's just like nine interns who want their own channel tomorrow.[3:26:40] But I just wanted to say before, like it made it sound at the beginning of our speech, like,[3:26:44] we're like, oh, David did nothing wrong, whatever.[3:26:46] Like, we hate David.[3:26:47] Yeah.[3:26:47] And what started us talking about this is even though if you were looking at the facts,[3:26:53] you'd be like, yeah, David didn't technically do any crimes.[3:26:57] It's still very exciting to see his downfall just because we hate him as a person.[3:27:01] So when I see Seth Simons.[3:27:05] Why would that aggravate a red bar listener to see Seth Simons go after a comic?[3:27:10] Why would that aggravate you?[3:27:12] Don't we want all comics in turmoil and pain?[3:27:17] I mean, like Ethan makes ridiculous points about the Vlog Squad all the time.[3:27:22] I love watching other videos about it and I love seeing him go after them.[3:27:27] Yeah.[3:27:28] So you want people to go down what we're doing here.[3:27:31] We're not unfair, though.[3:27:33] But we don't report people just admit that what they want to see is someone's downfall.[3:27:38] So that's what it is.[3:27:40] And again, I want to bring it back to the David Dobrik thing,[3:27:42] because I watched like Keemstar and all these people.[3:27:44] And you know that they're just like me.[3:27:47] They just want to take him down.[3:27:49] They don't care what it's for.[3:27:51] They'll find the smallest thing and latch on to it.[3:27:53] And then you'll hear these motherfuckers go.[3:27:57] They'll be on for three hours live discussing this where you really hear it.[3:28:02] You'll hear them go, oh, fuck, I just want to.[3:28:05] And what they really want to say is, I just hate David.[3:28:08] I want him to just go down.[3:28:09] But they can't say that because people are listening.[3:28:10] So they go, I just I just want the victims to get justice.[3:28:15] I just don't want people.[3:28:17] No, no, no, no, no.[3:28:19] Who gives a fuck about a victim or two?[3:28:23] I really could care less.[3:28:26] It's about the guy I hate being demised.[3:28:32] Can't you admit this?[3:28:33] Are you that scared of the public, everybody?[3:28:37] I'm talking to everybody.[3:28:38] They can't admit.[3:28:39] I admit it all the time.[3:28:40] I want to laugh at you just because it's fun.[3:28:46] I can't really describe it more.[3:28:48] Yes, it's fun.[3:28:49] I want to look at you.[3:28:49] I want to pick on you know what people have really stopped doing.[3:28:52] This is a big one.[3:28:54] Nobody and even there's a shot.[3:28:57] I really love this drama YouTube thing because what we've allowed our culture to do right now.[3:29:04] So we've banned making fun of people for their looks.[3:29:07] We've banned saying anything offensive.[3:29:09] What we haven't banned is taking down people that have done.[3:29:15] Bad things, right, in quotes.[3:29:17] So you're allowed to bash somebody and make fun of them pretty much if they've if you've[3:29:26] caught them doing something wrong.[3:29:27] So let's pretend you just hate David Dobrik, just like I just hate him.[3:29:31] I just hate him.[3:29:32] He's a fag.[3:29:32] He's a fucking I hate him.[3:29:34] That's it.[3:29:35] He didn't do anything.[3:29:35] I hate him.[3:29:38] You're not allowed to just say that anymore.[3:29:40] So you have to wait for them to say, Oh, did you hear David Dobrik treated one of his employees[3:29:50] rude?[3:29:52] Who cares?[3:29:53] They should be treated rude.[3:29:55] But then everyone who hates David Dobrik is just going to go, I just really need him to[3:30:00] make an apology and learn from.[3:30:02] I just need him to learn from.[3:30:03] But what you want to see is David squirm.[3:30:05] Yes, you want to see him squirm.[3:30:07] You want to see him punished.[3:30:09] Punished.[3:30:10] But you're not willing to admit that because you think that makes you look petty or weak.[3:30:15] No, what you're doing now makes you look weak and it's going to be the death of you.[3:30:21] Because what happens when everybody in society is perfect and we all are following the rules[3:30:26] to a T and the feelings of wanting to make fun of someone for fun are still there, then[3:30:31] what are you going to do?[3:30:32] Then what are you going to do?[3:30:33] So just admit what your emotions are.[3:30:36] Of entire cancel culture is inherently everybody just wants to rag on.[3:30:40] Yes, and we can't.[3:30:42] You can't make fun of people for their looks.[3:30:44] You don't see it happen.[3:30:46] People even like, you know, I keep going back to David Dobrik.[3:30:50] He's the newest one, but James Charles, anybody who's getting canceled, you don't see people[3:30:54] just make fun of their looks.[3:30:55] Really, unless it's Trump.[3:30:58] Unless it's he looks like a pedophile you're allowed to do.[3:31:01] You're allowed to make fun of Trump for his looks, but you really don't see people make[3:31:05] fun of people for their looks anymore.[3:31:07] They're afraid to do it.[3:31:09] They really are afraid to do it.[3:31:10] And it just goes to show it's like so it's coming out in these even pettier ways.[3:31:15] You're looking for them to like cross the street without the cross crossing sign.[3:31:22] You know, you're like.[3:31:23] You want to make fun of some guys so bad, but you can't.[3:31:27] So what you're doing is waiting for him to cut in line and then you can finally call[3:31:32] him out for something.[3:31:34] That's all cancel culture is.[3:31:36] There's really nothing to freak out about.[3:31:40] There are going to be people who lose.[3:31:42] Guess what?[3:31:42] Listen to this.[3:31:44] And this is what no other tough guy will tell you.[3:31:47] There will be people who lose.[3:31:48] Oh, my God.[3:31:50] Their income.[3:31:52] Oh, my God.[3:31:52] The income, the income, the income.[3:31:55] You've been so brainwashed into this income, you know.[3:32:02] Do you know how long it would take for you to be incomeless to where it would really[3:32:07] affect?[3:32:07] I mean, we got to like I was going to say becoming incomeless.[3:32:11] They're not.[3:32:12] And here's the thing.[3:32:13] It's like you're like, dude, I just don't think people should be counseled because they[3:32:15] should have their right to make money.[3:32:18] They can all make money.[3:32:20] All of them can make money.[3:32:22] They could all even the most canceled guy today could make more money.[3:32:27] Then, like the healthiest, richest guy of the 1800s, nobody ever says that about those[3:32:32] like hillbilly Karen's that get filmed saying the N-word and then get fired.[3:32:36] Nobody's ever like her livelihood, her livelihood.[3:32:40] Stop worrying about people who always have a livelihood are warning you about their livelihood[3:32:45] all the time.[3:32:45] Livelihoods aren't one and done.[3:32:47] You've got about a billion of them.[3:32:49] You know, it would be like if you threw a fit after money, you'd be like, oh, my God,[3:32:56] after Mario died once in Super Mario, you throw the NES across and it cracks all that[3:33:04] shitty gray plastic.[3:33:06] He's coming back.[3:33:10] Try again.[3:33:11] Do it smarter and let him eat one of those fireballs or whatever, you know, make him[3:33:16] flash these people.[3:33:19] It's like Brian Kelly sitting around your whole life is bitching about that.[3:33:22] You can't work.[3:33:23] It's no, you're lazy.[3:33:25] You don't want to make money.[3:33:28] I mean, Chris D'Elia being canceled is still making more money than all of us.[3:33:33] He's making more money selling life rips, sweatpants size XS only during his cancellation[3:33:40] time than all of us has made all year.[3:33:43] Stop feeling so bad for the canceled.[3:33:47] They've drilled this into your head.[3:33:49] Gavin McInnes, Anthony Kumiya, Steven Crowder, all your favorite comics, they made it seem[3:33:55] so cool to be anti canceled.[3:34:00] You feel this bad for just some fucking fag guy who gives a fuck whatever happened to[3:34:06] who gives a fuck?[3:34:07] These are the same people are like, do not fucking kill that guy.[3:34:10] If you said that's it to me, I'd knock him out.[3:34:12] Oh, you'd knock him out.[3:34:13] But you care so much that this guy can't be on Netflix.[3:34:17] You know, being on Netflix is a lottery win.[3:34:20] It is a gift.[3:34:20] It is not a right.[3:34:21] It is not a right to have an HBO special.[3:34:24] It's not a right to be a Hollywood star.[3:34:27] Those are all gifts.[3:34:28] Those are all lottery tickets.[3:34:32] It'd be one thing.[3:34:33] And you know, you've really convinced yourself that everyone's being canceled and censored[3:34:37] and nobody's able to talk.[3:34:38] How the fuck am I still here then?[3:34:41] How are you looking and receiving this broadcast?[3:34:44] If everyone, how have I been doing it for 21 years and you don't hear me fucking whining[3:34:50] about why?[3:34:52] Well, Mike, that says you're not big enough to get canceled.[3:34:55] Exactly.[3:34:56] Because being famous is what?[3:34:58] Gay.[3:34:59] Thank you.[3:35:01] Thank you.[3:35:04] Beautiful.[3:35:06] I'm being canceled by God with all this pain.[3:35:09] But you got to get over this.[3:35:11] Don't you guys all say you hate all these other shows only read by read by rather than[3:35:15] stop listening to the other things these idiots tell you.[3:35:19] Who is telling you this?[3:35:21] And we've been fed it for so long, so steady that we just think it's like part of our core[3:35:27] belief system.[3:35:28] Oh, any man that's canceled.[3:35:29] I stand behind him.[3:35:31] No.[3:35:32] And they're not going to come for you.[3:35:34] You're not going to lose your job.[3:35:35] And if you lose your job, you get another one.[3:35:38] And if you get out at Google, Mike David on Google, see what comes up.[3:35:45] Do you see me scared and worried about it?[3:35:47] If I lose red bar, I will do something else tomorrow.[3:35:51] And if I lose that, I'll do something else.[3:35:52] Who the fuck cares?[3:35:54] My knee is bleeding.[3:35:56] Oh, my God.[3:35:56] Really?[3:35:58] I'm having near.[3:36:00] But let's stop feeling so sorry for grown men.[3:36:05] I would get it.[3:36:05] It's like, dude, it sucks to be.[3:36:08] It's like the new thing that just happens.[3:36:10] It's part of like we've all leveled up and the levels get harder.[3:36:15] You know, these are the same guys playing Skyrim.[3:36:18] These are the same guys playing Call of Duty.[3:36:19] You know how hard level 54 is of Call of Duty?[3:36:23] It's nearly impossible.[3:36:25] Why are you able to get through it?[3:36:26] Well, because you've done it every day and each time you died or had to replant.[3:36:31] I don't know how Call of Duty works, but you came back and you learned from the mistakes[3:36:37] you made during phase one and you went around and then you did a little bit more.[3:36:41] And then all of a sudden you beat the game.[3:36:43] So when I see a guy 18 months in like Josh Denny still complaining that cancel culture[3:36:51] is the reason he can't make a buck.[3:36:56] No.[3:36:56] And it's like Seth Simon's articles about the Legion of Skanks, for example.[3:37:01] It's like, yeah, they're shitty and he is annoying, I'm sure.[3:37:08] But isn't it like funny that they have a boss that they have to beat?[3:37:12] Yeah.[3:37:12] Like it's just part of the story.[3:37:14] Like it's part of the tale.[3:37:16] Well, here's what happened.[3:37:17] Here's what happened.[3:37:18] That they have to battle Seth Simon.[3:37:20] Here's what happened.[3:37:21] Podcasting is too intimate for these people.[3:37:26] These people listen and regardless of what they think is going on, they think they've[3:37:32] become, I mean, it doesn't have to be conscious.[3:37:36] It's been said, it's been documented, it's been psychologically covered that when you[3:37:42] listen to these podcasts and you follow these people on Instagram, you follow their whole[3:37:48] life, you follow an influencer.[3:37:51] That's why you go, what the fuck?[3:37:53] Why do people follow Bryce Hall?[3:37:55] Like he doesn't do anything, right?[3:37:57] Well, what did your friend in high school do?[3:38:02] He didn't do anything, but he was around you every day and he was part of your life.[3:38:08] So when you're on Instagram every day, you're scrolling, you're seeing a moment from a guy[3:38:13] or a girl's life every day.[3:38:16] After three years of that, regardless of what you think, you do think that you're part of[3:38:23] their life.[3:38:24] And you know how if you had a good friend in high school and he came over and he showed[3:38:33] you something, you'd be way more into it than you would a stranger.[3:38:39] It would take a lot for an artist on TV to impress you than it would your best friend[3:38:45] impressing you with some bullshit that he did, right?[3:38:49] So when you're following these influencers and podcasts and listening to them, even if[3:38:53] you think you hate them, you're bonding with them.[3:38:59] And then when people go against what they say or go against them or what they do, it[3:39:04] almost feels like it's a guy like fucking with your best friend.[3:39:09] And then that almost feels like it's a guy telling you that you're wrong.[3:39:15] And what's happened here is our audience is made up of all these other podcast listeners[3:39:19] and whether they think so or not, they all abandoned these shows, but they haven't abandoned[3:39:25] the ideas that have been wrongly drilled into their heads by people who aren't really thinking[3:39:32] about it as deeply as they should be in order to exchange the information with you.[3:39:38] You know, that's the problem with these podcasters too.[3:39:42] I wait a week before I come on here.[3:39:44] I want to know what I'm going to say.[3:39:45] These guys, I mean, they're running off pure fumes.[3:39:49] They haven't taken a time to think what they're going to even say to their own son.[3:39:53] They're flying when they're not podcasting, they're gaming when they're not gaming, they're[3:39:57] at a standup show and they're not a standup show.[3:39:59] They're on a zoom call and they're on a zoom call.[3:40:01] They're writing an article.[3:40:02] They're tweeting their Instagram.[3:40:04] When did they sit back and think about what the hell is happening?[3:40:09] No, no, no.[3:40:09] They're running off momentum and fumes and they're parroting and they're watching what[3:40:14] the audience agrees with most and it's all conglomerating into this ball of being a follower[3:40:21] and you cut to now and a lot of you are rah, rah-ing some real horseshit ideas just because[3:40:29] at the time some guy that you thought was cool told you that and maybe at the time that[3:40:34] idea was even right and you haven't let it wash out.[3:40:40] So stop telling me that, uh, you know, things that Anthony Kumiya told you seven years ago.[3:40:48] You hate Kumiya now.[3:40:50] People even say the same things back to you that you taught them.[3:40:54] Exactly.[3:40:55] But anyways, how did we start talking about this again?[3:41:00] I want you to play these Owen Benjamin clips and then we're going to do[3:41:02] Tony mother huggin' Hinchcliffe.[3:41:04] Tony motherfucking Hinchcliffe.[3:41:08] You got to see what Owen Benjamin has said about me.[3:41:10] I love Owen and I'm not going to even talk shit.[3:41:15] You must hear what Owen Ben...[3:41:17] And this is how I introduce Owen now.[3:41:19] Yeah.[3:41:20] Amazing stand-up comedian Owen Benjamin married to the Adams family actress.[3:41:28] I mean, this guy is fucking killing it.[3:41:31] Hilarious comedian.[3:41:32] He's been in movies, TV.[3:41:36] That's how I talk about Owen now.[3:41:38] And we'll wait for her to get back.[3:41:40] She's excused herself.[3:41:43] And then we'll wait for her to get back and then I'll play you what Owen said about me.[3:41:46] If you like, you're going to die.[3:41:49] And that's how I describe Owen.[3:41:51] This guy, I mean, one of the top comedians, this guy fucking gets it.[3:41:57] He had a rocky confusion.[3:42:00] He's back on course.[3:42:02] This guy is sharp.[3:42:04] And it's an honor to hear what he's going to say about me here.[3:42:09] And I know you think you've heard Owen say some things about me in the past and you go,[3:42:13] Oh, we get it, Mike.[3:42:14] We get it.[3:42:14] Oh, you don't get it.[3:42:15] This tops what you've heard.[3:42:17] So we'll wait for her to get back.[3:42:18] It looks like she left the room crying.[3:42:21] Owen Mike, an apology.[3:42:24] That's a hell of an ad for Owen.[3:42:25] Oh, he's great.[3:42:26] I really can't think of anything he's ever done that's been wrong.[3:42:33] Wait till you see these videos.[3:42:34] I mean, you're really going to be really good.[3:42:36] I don't care if you thought you saw a clip.[3:42:38] Wait till you see what I've pieced together.[3:42:40] I've watched this live.[3:42:41] It was awesome.[3:42:42] Now that's scary.[3:42:43] Why are you watching Owen live?[3:42:46] It's like these people who send me Sam Tripoli clips about me and stuff.[3:42:51] So you watch Sam Tripoli?[3:42:55] Alone?[3:42:55] You've exposed yourself.[3:42:57] What are you watching him for?[3:42:58] Oh, I mean, I, uh, I hate him too.[3:43:00] So I just want.[3:43:01] No, no, no.[3:43:02] You like him.[3:43:03] You think he's cool.[3:43:04] That's the tough part about sending me a Sam Tripoli or Owen Benjamin clip.[3:43:09] Especially when I go to look and it's 2 47 into an Owen live stream in four ADP in front[3:43:15] of an old barn, I'm going, so you were sitting there for two hours and 47 minutes until you[3:43:21] heard this.[3:43:25] I mean, you're not watching it to cover it.[3:43:29] So that's how I think of that.[3:43:31] But Jules, the Owen clips there at the top, which one do I start with?[3:43:35] Oh, there's two.[3:43:36] There's two.[3:43:38] The top one I think is the one that you saw first.[3:43:41] Okay, well, we'll start with that.[3:43:42] Listen to this.[3:43:44] And this is going to make all of you feel much better about your choice here today with[3:43:48] red bar as it should.[3:43:50] And I want to thank Asher, Asher, this guy Asher or something like that.[3:43:56] He says, Hey guys, I'm new here.[3:43:58] And this is in our bring back group at the face book page.[3:44:03] And he goes, I'm new here, but I didn't see this posted yet.[3:44:07] And they were really worried.[3:44:08] Everybody you post is so worried that like, Philip, what is that guy's name?[3:44:16] Pepe Sylvia.[3:44:19] This is like, everybody's like, this is everybody in the room.[3:44:22] Okay.[3:44:22] Like, I don't know if this is posted.[3:44:24] I don't know if you're all going to hate this.[3:44:25] I'm literally just like, pretend I accidentally linked this like seriously.[3:44:31] And if you guys hate it, like I could give you money.[3:44:34] Don't let Pepe Sylvia type.[3:44:37] Cause you know, you'll go through the bring back group and somebody will post something[3:44:40] and then another guy doesn't get it.[3:44:42] And we'll be like, shit, post crap.[3:44:44] Get out of here.[3:44:45] And they go, Oh, well, that guy has been here for a while.[3:44:47] He must represent Mike's wishes.[3:44:49] Never to me.[3:44:52] I just like seeing it.[3:44:53] People interact.[3:44:54] I sometimes like, I do like it when people do the hashtag crap.[3:44:58] I like that, but I don't like people.[3:45:01] I don't like that.[3:45:01] It's scaring people from posting.[3:45:04] I'd rather than post a bunch of garbage than be too afraid to post because Avery Schmuck.[3:45:09] To be honest with you, you're not in a lot of groups.[3:45:12] I don't think that you actually mean that.[3:45:14] Like, I think that the culture of the BBG where everybody is really strict, it makes[3:45:18] it so that after a while, everybody like either you get it or you don't.[3:45:22] And then that it keeps it cleaner.[3:45:24] Well, I hope that, I hope that does.[3:45:26] I hope people know if it was a group where everyone was posting whatever they wanted.[3:45:29] I like that they do the dirty work, but I also want people to know, post what you feel[3:45:34] like posting and we'll take it from there.[3:45:36] We'll go from there.[3:45:38] But don't censor your thoughts.[3:45:41] I respect Mike Sylvia.[3:45:42] He scares me.[3:45:44] He used to be called Pepe Sylvia.[3:45:45] Yeah.[3:45:46] So there you go.[3:45:47] And I'm not afraid of him.[3:45:49] I love everybody's unique personalities equally.[3:45:53] Yeah, but you should try to be one of these elders.[3:45:55] Believe me, the elders aren't that great.[3:45:57] You could be one of the elders within a week if you just say something.[3:46:02] So this guy, Asher, I don't know him from Adam.[3:46:05] He writes this.[3:46:06] Hey guys.[3:46:08] I'm not going to make fun of.[3:46:09] Hello, guys.[3:46:11] I am new here, but I didn't see you don't have to.[3:46:13] Here's my point was you don't have to worry about being new.[3:46:16] You don't have to worry if they don't like it.[3:46:18] Just post it and go.[3:46:19] If they don't like it, I'll learn from it.[3:46:22] I won't post something this shitty again.[3:46:24] Maybe I'll adjust.[3:46:25] Maybe I won't.[3:46:27] But I need this interaction.[3:46:34] Hello, guys.[3:46:34] I'm new here, but I didn't see this posted yet.[3:46:37] Owen Benjamin mentions red bar again, calls him one of the few generally genuinely funny[3:46:44] people out there.[3:46:45] Couldn't believe it myself.[3:46:46] I clipped it, but it's from this video.[3:46:48] Thank you so much.[3:46:50] And again, I sincerely apologized.[3:46:52] And well, then maybe that should be how people post online.[3:46:56] I don't want to bother and waste anyone's time.[3:46:58] I'm sure I'm really sorry if this is stupid.[3:47:01] I mean, that would be nice, actually.[3:47:04] People censored themselves a bit.[3:47:06] So listen to this little video.[3:47:08] Some of you are going to cry.[3:47:11] Now, I don't know what to do here because Owen is still I'm still very afraid of him[3:47:15] as a human being, but I'm getting much closer.[3:47:19] You know what?[3:47:20] I'm not afraid of him as a human being.[3:47:21] I know he's fine.[3:47:23] I'm afraid of the others.[3:47:25] The Bears.[3:47:27] I'm afraid of his fans.[3:47:28] I am.[3:47:29] I know they're not level headed people.[3:47:32] And then I'm also afraid of, you know, there's a lot of people who think that Owen is the[3:47:37] same as.[3:47:41] I don't like to say his name, Adolf Adolf Adolf.[3:47:47] And, you know, you don't want those.[3:47:50] Here's the thing about it, too.[3:47:51] It doesn't matter if you hate 50 percent of America.[3:47:59] You know who I hate?[3:48:02] A lot of America.[3:48:04] And you know what?[3:48:04] When I go to a restaurant, it's guaranteed.[3:48:09] That if you stood everyone up in that restaurant and have them introduce themselves to me,[3:48:13] I'd hate them.[3:48:15] I could look around a restaurant and point out every guy and tell you why I hate him[3:48:19] before I even know it.[3:48:20] And I'm right.[3:48:22] But you know what I do when I go to a restaurant?[3:48:25] I respect everyone.[3:48:27] I treat them with respect and I respect their.[3:48:34] Right to just sit there and eat without being bothered.[3:48:38] I think this is where we're making this big mistake online.[3:48:41] You're going on Twitter, you're going on YouTube, you're going to public spaces and[3:48:47] acting like it's just you and your friends and then getting mad when the public.[3:48:53] Flips out at you, like imagine if I acted like how I'm acting like now at a restaurant,[3:48:58] the whole place would be against me.[3:48:59] Does that mean the restaurant is censoring me and that they're crazy?[3:49:04] Now they're acting normal.[3:49:06] So here's what I'll say.[3:49:08] It's like, yeah, I don't want to pal up with Owen Benjamin because it does look terrible.[3:49:13] I mean, the things he said are terrible to people.[3:49:16] It doesn't matter how he meant them, what he thinks.[3:49:19] Sometimes people could say the same thing about you.[3:49:22] Exactly.[3:49:22] Well, yeah, I know.[3:49:23] And I could, I would take that.[3:49:24] I would understand it.[3:49:25] And that's why you won't see me ever being defensive about being racist.[3:49:30] If somebody accuses me of racist, this is what I do.[3:49:41] That's what you do.[3:49:42] You go, I understand.[3:49:44] I understand.[3:49:45] Now, if they all got to know me after 10 years, maybe they would like me.[3:49:49] Maybe they would understand that I'm not racist, but they don't know me.[3:49:52] They're basing me off the shit that I'm screaming,[3:49:55] which you would do too if it was something that you hated that they're screaming.[3:49:59] So have respect even for people you disagree with.[3:50:04] I really believe you need to.[3:50:05] That's like how we do this whole society thing.[3:50:08] You have respect for everybody in public.[3:50:12] You know, I fucking, I can't stand everybody in public.[3:50:15] There's not one person that walks by me with fucking cool.[3:50:18] I treat him good.[3:50:20] Every person that walks by me, I wish was dead, but I go out there.[3:50:24] Hello.[3:50:25] Yes.[3:50:26] Hello.[3:50:27] Oh, thank you.[3:50:29] And that's what you do too in public.[3:50:32] Think about online as the public.[3:50:34] Now that's what everyone's problem is.[3:50:36] I just shot the big problem.[3:50:38] Wait till you hear what I want to ask to say.[3:50:39] Comedy is a unifying element.[3:50:42] Comedy does get away.[3:50:44] Comedy does allow you to see other people's perspectives and not hate them for it.[3:50:52] Genuinely funny people are really, really helpful to people.[3:50:57] Genuinely funny people are really, really helpful.[3:51:01] And I believe them.[3:51:04] Wait, do you hear what this guy says?[3:51:07] You know how big this guy's too much for me?[3:51:09] I'm blushing.[3:51:09] He's from the Adams family.[3:51:12] Like there is a few people out there right now that are genuinely funny.[3:51:16] And when you listen to them, you can have a different perspective and not hate them for it.[3:51:20] Because that resonance of truth goes through it.[3:51:24] Like, um, like I enjoy, like I've talked about how I enjoy red bar radio and he like, you[3:51:29] know, every time I bring him up, there's a chance he's going to like clip in and talk[3:51:32] about me and maybe say crazy.[3:51:33] It doesn't matter.[3:51:34] I don't care.[3:51:34] Oh, every time he's bringing red bra.[3:51:38] Oh, there's a chance he's going to clip it.[3:51:39] Talk about me.[3:51:40] I don't care who told you he don't care about a month ago, two months ago, I said I was[3:51:46] talking about Owen Benjamin's kids and putting them in baby coffins, right?[3:51:50] And shipping them off into a river or something like that.[3:51:52] Remember that?[3:51:52] And you guys all like, dude, no, you're fucked.[3:51:56] That's it, dude.[3:51:57] He's coming for you.[3:51:58] And I go, no, no, no.[3:52:00] Owen knows.[3:52:02] Not that he's afraid.[3:52:04] He knows he gets it.[3:52:07] There will be no, he will not be mad about this.[3:52:10] And then you hear this.[3:52:13] Like I enjoy, like I've talked about how I enjoy red bar radio and he like, you know,[3:52:16] every time I bring him up, there's a chance he's going to like clip in and talk about[3:52:20] me and maybe say crazy.[3:52:21] It doesn't matter.[3:52:21] I don't care.[3:52:22] He's funny.[3:52:23] It's a fact.[3:52:23] He's a funny guy.[3:52:25] And I find him very, he's funny.[3:52:27] It's a fact.[3:52:28] He's a funny guy.[3:52:30] I mean, I mean, all the comedy legends.[3:52:34] Let's really talk about legends who know me.[3:52:37] The only like every person who knows me that is also or was a legend has said complementary[3:52:44] things about me.[3:52:45] Let's go down the list.[3:52:46] Anthony Kumiya.[3:52:48] He's a lizard now, but he was a legend at once, right?[3:52:52] Mike's very funny.[3:52:52] I love Mike.[3:52:53] Gavin McInnes.[3:52:54] Mike is an inspiration.[3:52:57] Owen Benjamin.[3:52:59] Tim Dillon.[3:53:01] The greats.[3:53:05] They got it.[3:53:06] The ungrates.[3:53:08] And that's how you got to think of it.[3:53:09] If somebody is telling you that I suck now, like Gino Bisconti, his responses to that[3:53:15] guy is so now he fucking blows his show.[3:53:20] That's how you know when somebody is like when they're saying that now, it's like,[3:53:23] come on, these guys, these are the leaders in the whole comedy world.[3:53:28] They hate me.[3:53:30] And they're saying this interesting because there's so few of that right now where[3:53:36] it's like and he's like, mocks people for not wearing a mask and all this stuff.[3:53:41] And I can laugh along, even though I completely disagree with that stance, because he's[3:53:46] he's genuinely funny and I don't resonate lies from him.[3:53:51] And so he's genuinely funny.[3:53:53] I don't resonate lies from him.[3:53:56] I've said I want to send his kids off in coffins down the creek.[3:53:59] I want to watch his kids die.[3:54:00] I want to rape his wife, his grandmother, his mother.[3:54:03] I'd like to bone her up.[3:54:05] The I've said, you know, if you want to compare it to his hugest enemies from the[3:54:10] last year, you know what Mersch said about him?[3:54:14] Barely anything.[3:54:15] I think that they once sent a dildo to his house.[3:54:18] That's it.[3:54:21] So he must be a good sensor of liars.[3:54:23] And this is like how you go, people hate David.[3:54:25] They don't hate David Dobrik because he, you know, stole somebody's cheese sauce in[3:54:31] high school when they were eating a hot pretzel with cheese.[3:54:34] They hate him because they hate him.[3:54:36] This guy doesn't hate Mersch and wants him dead because of what Mersch did.[3:54:40] It's because the Mersch had the nerve to do anything.[3:54:44] And it's Mersch.[3:54:46] I've said all the terrible things about Owen.[3:54:49] He loves me.[3:54:50] And he, he pours his heart out to me.[3:54:55] Listen to this mask, all this stuff.[3:54:58] And I can laugh along, even though I completely disagree with that stance because he's, he's[3:55:03] genuinely funny and I don't resonate lies from him.[3:55:08] And so what's been very helpful with me with a guy like him or a lot like, uh, pockets[3:55:13] of the future is extremely funny guy.[3:55:16] Forget him.[3:55:16] No, he's really into like Indian, like, uh, a spirituality from India.[3:55:24] Imagine this part about right back to conscious.[3:55:26] Very, very funny.[3:55:27] Makes me laugh.[3:55:30] So I'm listening to these different perspectives and it actually really helps me not hate people[3:55:35] who disagree with me because typically when you get that, that, uh, other stuff, like[3:55:41] another way of thinking and it's from a agenda driven lie based thing.[3:55:48] You hate them for it, but you're really hating the lie.[3:55:51] You're not hating their perspective.[3:55:54] You're hating.[3:55:55] Who's told you that all your life.[3:55:57] You're hating the lie.[3:55:58] What do we hate in this world?[3:56:01] We don't hate people who do bad things really, unless they're lying about it.[3:56:06] Like we really don't hate.[3:56:08] That's why you go, why isn't Motley Crue being canceled for all the stuff they've done to[3:56:13] women?[3:56:13] Well, the women had a blast.[3:56:16] Okay.[3:56:16] Motley Crue didn't lie to them.[3:56:19] They go, do you want to come to our hotel and do Coke and fuck with a ton of guys?[3:56:26] And then I break everything and they're like, yeah.[3:56:28] And then they left.[3:56:29] See you later, sweetie.[3:56:31] That was it.[3:56:31] It was a great night because there was no liar involved.[3:56:35] You know why we hate liars?[3:56:37] And then people don't understand why we eat liars because we all do these lies, right?[3:56:42] So then everyone pretends that they don't hate liars that much because then they'd have[3:56:46] to hate themselves.[3:56:47] They'd have to cancel themselves.[3:56:48] Maybe they've told a white lie to their boss.[3:56:50] Well, here's the thing.[3:56:51] Here's why we hate liars.[3:56:52] I've said this before.[3:56:53] I really believe this.[3:56:55] We hate lies.[3:56:57] We hate liars, even if we don't know it.[3:56:59] This is what we hate the most because it distorts.[3:57:04] I hate even saying this is like cringe.[3:57:07] It distorts our reality.[3:57:09] It does.[3:57:10] That's what a lie does.[3:57:11] I mean, if you really, I haven't studied this, but I believe me, if Dr.[3:57:15] Peterson was here, he'd, oh yes, there was one book I wrote where they agree.[3:57:20] That's what he would say.[3:57:22] We hate lies and liars because they distort our reality and without our reality, we're[3:57:27] so lost, right?[3:57:28] Even if our reality is wrong, if we're all on the same page, we're good.[3:57:32] When somebody lies, what they do is let's pretend reality is all on a line here.[3:57:37] When somebody lies, they create like a little pothole in the reality and you can't drive[3:57:42] down the street without going, ah, what the fuck?[3:57:45] You're screwed up.[3:57:46] And the more lies that are told, the more reality is too hard to understand.[3:57:50] It's too confusing.[3:57:52] So we can't really like do our day to day life because we're off track and we're following[3:57:57] this lie and that lie.[3:57:58] We don't know what the fuck the truth is.[3:58:00] So at our core, what we hate is a liar.[3:58:05] We hate a scam or a liar, but we don't put it in those terms.[3:58:08] Like cause to us, a liar is something you were in third grade.[3:58:13] So how much could you hate a liar if a cute third grader could be a liar?[3:58:18] So we need a new name.[3:58:20] When an adult lies, when you're over 21 and you lie, it's different than your lies as[3:58:27] a kid that you were forced into to protect yourself because you didn't know any better.[3:58:32] When an adult lies, when an adult sheets on his wife, we must look at it with greater[3:58:40] horror.[3:58:41] And I don't think we do show.[3:58:43] Yeah.[3:58:43] My problem with every guy that's on the screen is he's a liar.[3:58:48] I always thought when I released my YouTube video and it says he lies, people go, he fucking[3:58:53] lied.[3:58:54] Well, this is it.[3:58:56] No one really cares when you say lie.[3:59:00] Oh, he lied to me.[3:59:01] He scammed me.[3:59:03] There are worse thing.[3:59:04] There are.[3:59:04] To me, a lie is terrible.[3:59:07] You know, um, it, to me, it pains me to even tell a harmless lie anymore.[3:59:14] I've really like fixed myself into this, uh, to this world.[3:59:19] But so many people are used to lying.[3:59:20] So many people come from lying.[3:59:22] So many people have told so many lies do not really willing to hate a liar unless they'd[3:59:27] be hating themselves.[3:59:31] But Owen knows what we're up against here.[3:59:35] It's not people that are cringe.[3:59:37] It's not people that are gay.[3:59:38] It's not people that are black.[3:59:40] It's liars.[3:59:42] It's thieves.[3:59:43] And why?[3:59:44] Because they're doing the greatest harm that can be done.[3:59:48] They're messing with the fabric of our reality.[3:59:52] Yes.[3:59:53] Now you're under my control based thing.[3:59:56] You hate them for it, but you're really hating the lie.[4:00:00] you're not hating their perspective you're hating the resonance of the lie[4:00:05] and so when people are genuinely funny and when people are like[4:00:08] they make you belly laugh you know like they make you[4:00:12] vibrate with a healing laughter respect that and enjoy that[4:00:16] you know understand that like you can have somebody that's why when people say[4:00:20] to me uh i i don't agree with everything you[4:00:23] say but i really like you and stuff i and then for a little while that used to[4:00:26] piss me off i'm like who the hell agrees with everything everyone says[4:00:30] and now i understand why they do that it's because when you[4:00:34] perceive someone as not lying and i have a lot of faults but one of them is not[4:00:39] lying like i'm not a liar i'm not agenda driven[4:00:42] i'm um i'm just not and like look at a guy like[4:00:46] red bar radio okay yeah he's doing a bit of a character and goes a little over[4:00:49] the top uh but there's a genuineness to him[4:00:53] where he can say something that normally i would find very jarring[4:00:58] but because there isn't that underbelly of lie[4:01:02] you can laugh and be like man i disagree with[4:01:06] 100 with what he's saying right here but this is still enjoyable and then you[4:01:10] back in the day that's how like comedy was don't get me wrong there was still a[4:01:14] lot of bad things about comedy ah i'm like how comedy was[4:01:19] that's what you want to hear he makes you vibrate with a healing[4:01:22] laughter you know that mike david that's how music used to be[4:01:26] good huh there's another clip yeah is there more here[4:01:30] listen to what he's saying here i believe him[4:01:36] you know it's wild i believe so you basically healed him[4:01:41] i healed him and you know what i'm willing to do private[4:01:44] off the record retreat consider me like venmo private[4:01:49] we're going to be doing a lot of exchanges privately no one[4:01:52] will know i'd like to meet you on your home ranch please[4:01:59] take the kids to your aunt's house i do not[4:02:02] like children it does draw a certain type of narcissist sometimes[4:02:07] some psychopath oh that's that clip okay there's[4:02:11] there's some more here so where do we go where do we go from here[4:02:15] where do we go right now it's a band i'm working on[4:02:19] owen is giving us a ton of up listen to this owen will protest oh this[4:02:26] one is so this one will make you cry i know i think i teared up the first[4:02:31] time just play it from here yeah i'm gonna be using a lot of code[4:02:35] today because of the bots this is a new day a new era i'm[4:02:39] talking about because i was uh enjoying a nice red bar[4:02:43] radio this morning i find him very funny oh very and he was[4:02:47] talking about how him and his wife jules were talking[4:02:50] about how they have no idea why people could possibly not like a[4:02:55] certain tribe of people jews they wear small hats and[4:02:59] i have no problem with that tribe of people anymore i went through so he's[4:03:02] watching unless they're clipping this too those[4:03:06] clippers this clippers dinner is going to cost me a fortune here[4:03:09] it's going to be one of those tables you'd only see in the movie 300[4:03:13] because it's got to be cgi it's so long um[4:03:18] oh it knows on the last show i go you know i understand a lot of people hate[4:03:22] jews so much like they really carry on about jews but like[4:03:26] i literally if somebody says mike why do people hate jews i go[4:03:31] uh because they're fucking faggy looking and trolly[4:03:35] and just they're you know it's like black people are indian you know how[4:03:39] they like look shitty and stupid and their voice[4:03:43] sounds shitty and gay you know jews that's what i would say[4:03:48] are they're uh stuck up and um just like a bunch of jewish horse shit[4:03:55] i think that's what i would say but these guys seem to know like a[4:04:00] hundred different actual stories about what these jews[4:04:03] have done that is so off-putting and i literally couldn't[4:04:07] repeat one of those like agenda tales[4:04:12] i literally don't know one i'm trying to think like people go okay[4:04:16] seriously like think to Sven stuffles think deep mike think deep[4:04:19] were you and Sven ever talking until this is like what i could think of[4:04:23] at my deepest point of thought and memory[4:04:27] dude i'm telling you that the jews seriously like[4:04:32] and remember i'm doing this based on the particles of memory that i have left[4:04:37] so it's in no way representing what Sven said to me[4:04:41] it is what i remember proving that i know no bad story about[4:04:47] the jews so listen to this Sven why do people actually hate the[4:04:50] jews like you're on the inside you hate jews what's going on[4:04:53] dude i promise you these guys are like[4:05:01] first of all and there's like a ton of money[4:05:07] that's literally all i remember i swear i'm not trying to be[4:05:14] so i beg of me i go please just tell me what did they like give me[4:05:19] if you got my wise josh danny bad i could tell you 10 things[4:05:24] i'm sure when i say why are the jews are bad the stories they tell you are so[4:05:28] far from well here they'll just say something[4:05:31] dude you have no idea like george soros here you go someone[4:05:36] says they murdered jesus there's one but jesus was a jew that[4:05:41] would be like hating george floyd because the cop[4:05:44] wasn't black i don't know but i'm telling you like[4:05:48] i thought about that if jesus was jewish then they love jews[4:05:54] this doesn't make sense and then i really ask[4:05:57] is god jewish he's got to be half jewish i don't know about the story i can tell[4:06:05] you probably none of it's true[4:06:09] and we shouldn't have this story we shouldn't be discussing this story[4:06:14] like that i would like that and i'll tell you this[4:06:17] if jesus is jewish what are you doing he's going to be furious[4:06:22] okay is that why you hang all those guilt paintings of him[4:06:25] around your home in the guilt thing that he died and believe me this would be[4:06:30] like if my son died from a car crash and you keep[4:06:32] giving me uh car jewelry not the time too soon[4:06:40] i don't think jesus thinks your crosses are all that cool[4:06:45] hey that's probably been done before right had to[4:06:48] um really and the fact that some people even believe in jesus[4:06:54] who listen to the show like the fact you're a christian now remember that's[4:06:57] why yeah i'm very christian what what is[4:07:02] that have to do with it i'm like a full christian yeah exactly[4:07:06] yeah so what's why did you bring that up oh i was just[4:07:09] reminding you yes i'm very christian[4:07:16] oh i'm christian i uh but i just don't understand if you hate[4:07:22] the jews believe me jesus is[4:07:29] uh sounds like you're not fully converted[4:07:32] yeah sounds like you don't really know what's going on because they're all[4:07:35] mixed apparently and this uh[4:07:39] this has to end sometime you know i don't know listen to this though and uh[4:07:47] i want to keep mentioning something that i want you to[4:07:50] remove and delete keeps going even though he's got[4:07:53] such a different opinion of me and he's a total 180[4:07:58] what no i'm not oh i think i saw a longer version of that last clip and the[4:08:02] thing he didn't agree with you on was masks so that's fair[4:08:06] unfortunately i would say if somebody is your number no hold on[4:08:10] listen to this i would say right now gauging on what i know and i can't even[4:08:17] look at the chat when i say this and don't read the chat right now because[4:08:21] i would say 98 of our audience fully believes[4:08:28] masks are fake propaganda they do not work they do not protect[4:08:36] they do not shield others from i fully believe that i'm not going to[4:08:42] give you my opinion because my opinion[4:08:47] has been out voted by the 98 percent[4:08:53] the first l i've taken since 1987[4:09:01] and it doesn't feel right at all it feels like[4:09:04] pure bullyment and the only thing i wish[4:09:10] to happen is uh well you know[4:09:16] i just thought of three things i could say right there that i could make up and[4:09:20] say none of them are good but i want you to[4:09:25] get this out of your head that oh mike's got some strict opinions on[4:09:29] masks you know for those of you don't know i[4:09:32] wear the same mask that i bought day one of[4:09:35] covid um it's a disposable mask[4:09:43] i wear the same one every time i wear it for the[4:09:46] eight seconds that i have to when i go into a store and out of the store[4:09:51] and then i take it off i generally don't wear it when i'm doing my 50-yard[4:09:55] dash or the mile at school because it would restrict my breathing[4:10:03] but um yeah i will wear it when i walk into a store but i've really[4:10:07] laxed my i like to consider myself i'm not getting the vaccination i'll tell[4:10:11] you this i uh have deemed myself[4:10:16] self-vaccinated i just have this feeling and i'm not[4:10:22] mocking anyone i'm not being sarcastic i have this feeling that[4:10:26] i'm just good i'm not getting the coronavirus[4:10:30] and if that's not true then i've already had their coronavirus[4:10:33] and if that's not true then i'm getting it[4:10:37] but i won't feel any symptoms and if that's not true then[4:10:40] uh then i just die but uh either way i am good with[4:10:47] all avenues and this is what i um this is the problem i think i i have[4:10:54] with it it's not a political stance it's a stance against[4:10:58] people thinking that they're important enough to[4:11:06] where the fuck cares i don't care if you have to wear shut the fuck up you[4:11:10] fucking baby like yeah they're yelling at you to wear[4:11:14] what do you think this is the land of the free[4:11:17] you just do whatever you want uh no take a look around it's pretty[4:11:22] severe i i want everybody to really think about[4:11:26] what you did from uh the year i don't know four till 18[4:11:32] where did you go was it a place called school[4:11:38] i'd say uh until you start protesting why the fuck i had to go to[4:11:42] school and listen to everything all those[4:11:45] crazy people said then you got to protest that first free[4:11:51] protest masks it's very sorry all of a sudden i've got[4:11:54] these protesters everywhere protesting like all this like unfairness[4:12:00] in america and i go oh that's funny i've uh[4:12:04] you know because i felt it's been pretty unfair for quite some time[4:12:08] i didn't know that this was fair i didn't know that uh[4:12:12] i had to wear a sheet belt and if i don't i'll hear a beeping[4:12:16] for infinity beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep[4:12:21] i don't care about the ticket i care about the beep[4:12:24] so i put the sheet belt on i i mean it's just[4:12:28] this all sucks what did you think that this is fun and games[4:12:32] so when i see these people like i'm not fucking wet it's like[4:12:35] where were you when i needed somebody to stick up for why things weren't unfair[4:12:41] you know like where were you when they banned smoking from uh[4:12:45] a bar called smokies come in and smoke we only serve cigarettes[4:12:50] sorry you can't smoke in here it's dangerous[4:12:53] but we're all agreeing to smoke nah we're just canceling smoking without a[4:12:59] vote i couldn't believe it this is where i[4:13:01] lost faith in all humanity when they just told us we could not[4:13:06] smoke inside ever and then it just happened[4:13:12] and everybody just went along with it i said what's going on why are[4:13:17] why isn't anybody protesting again how could this happen[4:13:21] we can't smoke and i mean it was like were there first thing in my life about[4:13:25] that none none i mean i was going nuts it was[4:13:30] like two years of my life lost to being aggravated over them banning[4:13:34] i sucked those niggers down like kanye and sam[4:13:41] his newest son uh my whole life was about smoking[4:13:49] indoors let me yeah my whole life was about smoking[4:13:55] indoors i didn't really like smoking outside as a kid[4:14:01] um i wanted to smoke indoors i think half of smoking was[4:14:06] look at me look what i'm doing isn't this not[4:14:10] i am not kidding i started smoking around 14 15[4:14:15] no one in my family smoked besides my grandma[4:14:19] and my uncle okay everyone else was like from birth smoking is bad no[4:14:25] smoking yuck we hate the smell i mean my parents[4:14:28] were the kind of people you're not smoking in their car you're[4:14:31] not smoking in their fucking house doesn't matter who you are how addicted[4:14:36] they're anti-smoking like if my mom's best friend smoked she[4:14:42] wouldn't be friends with her they're that type of people so[4:14:47] i grew up though and the minute i had that first i go oh yeah[4:14:52] this is the type of guy i am i smoke and unlike the other kids who hid it[4:14:58] from their parents i for some reason and i've never met[4:15:02] anyone like this i for some reason needed my parents to[4:15:06] know that i smoked like day two and i didn't hide the[4:15:12] cigarette i mean i remember when i got caught and i go[4:15:16] they're not that man like i could be a smoker[4:15:20] and i i'm not kidding i don't know how it happened but i'll tell you this[4:15:24] cut to a year later cut to my 15th birthday you're not going to believe[4:15:28] this but it is truth and it happened a lot 15 years old[4:15:34] we'd go to a restaurant with my family hello and i'd step in front of my dad[4:15:41] yes smoking please and i'm not kidding my entire family would follow[4:15:48] me and the host to the smoking section so that their 15 year old son[4:15:56] could smoke while they waited for their hamburgers i'm not kidding if you saw[4:16:03] family right now i was such an asshole[4:16:09] that i forced smoking into my life and i basically i stared my parents right[4:16:15] in the eye i go[4:16:18] this ain't your fight this ain't it save your bite for a better battle[4:16:27] and they knew they almost knew like this guy's too much trouble[4:16:31] let's not the smoking is calming him down[4:16:35] probably but they'd sit there i can't believe it's 15 years old[4:16:38] they were probably scared of you you'd have my whole family there[4:16:42] and i'd be sitting there while they all[4:16:48] and that is insane what did your brother do[4:16:53] i'm telling you it doesn't seem like that long ago[4:16:57] i guess it was a completely different i mean that would never fly[4:17:00] now i mean if we were out at a restaurant and even if[4:17:04] on like a patio or even in a park it was a smoking area there was a family[4:17:09] where the whole family was together no and then the son the young the only[4:17:14] one smoking that would be like something you take a video[4:17:17] yes and this happened and i'm not talking about oh[4:17:21] maybe it happened on my 18th birthday no no no[4:17:24] every restaurant and would go every two weeks[4:17:28] we'd go to some shitty restaurant with my grandma and stuff[4:17:32] and uh it would every time every time i can't think of a restaurant experience[4:17:38] during that time period where we weren't in the smoking section and i[4:17:41] wasn't smoking while people were eating and[4:17:44] remembering my parents going not while we're eating you know how would[4:17:49] they they wouldn't put up with that now like[4:17:52] ever that's how you had smoking taken away from you[4:17:58] and when so when[4:18:02] when um so listen to this when i started getting into comedy i'd go to comedy[4:18:06] shows people can't even remember this every comedy show was a smoking affair[4:18:11] this is what made comedy cool it was a drinkers and smokers paradise[4:18:16] you'd go to a comedy club maybe that's why[4:18:19] we thought it was so funny we were so intoxicated from the smoke[4:18:23] and there was such a thick cloud over the comedian's face you couldn't tell[4:18:27] how shitty they were or nervous that they were you created[4:18:30] your own show maybe that's why it worked so well you'd[4:18:34] go to a comedy club it would i mean everyone was sucking them the[4:18:38] whole show you'd be just smoking so when they banned smoking i mean it[4:18:43] was like literally overnight you couldn't smoke in[4:18:46] any restaurant any bar any comedy show and we go even a comedy show we can't[4:18:50] smoke it and now imagine if a comedy show you're[4:18:53] just able to smoke[4:18:56] that sounds so insane um but nobody stuck up for it nobody[4:19:03] cared and i remember saying i we had red bar[4:19:06] back then when they banned smoking we had red bar think about that and i said[4:19:11] um you know if you don't stick up for[4:19:14] something that you don't because it's like yeah if you don't smoke[4:19:18] you don't care right and then the smokers are[4:19:21] smokers so they're all such scum bums that they're not going to protest[4:19:26] so um but i remember saying like word for word i go if you don't do this now[4:19:30] they're going to take away something you like eventually[4:19:33] and nobody's going to help you and who's going to care[4:19:37] and i can't believe how much i remember i lived like my life[4:19:41] years one through 18 they didn't take away our rights really[4:19:46] and that was like the first time they took away right and now we're watching[4:19:49] like every five days they actually take away a right almost[4:19:54] or they make you feel like your rights are taken away or you're restricted or[4:19:58] um so what was i going to say so to complain about having to wear a mask[4:20:02] yes that's what it is it's like when i see this guy's like i gotta wear a mask[4:20:06] for 6.7 seconds as i walk through like a crowded[4:20:11] it's like shut up mike can't even go to[4:20:14] restaurants i can't even smoke with my grandmother anymore[4:20:20] over soup you know and i would use by the way i'd use like a ketchup[4:20:25] you know thing they give you you get the restaurant[4:20:28] hey can i have some fucking ketchup they give you like a little cup of it you're[4:20:31] like i hope you have a few more cups coming[4:20:35] i'm gonna eat all that i used to use so much ketchup[4:20:39] and i put my cigarettes on the ketchup my cigarettes out on the plate[4:20:42] did you use the ketchup with little ash never never i wasn't uh[4:20:47] cook so i that's what i'm saying it's over this is all done[4:20:53] you figure out a way to sneak around this system stop complaining you've[4:20:57] wasted four years complaining about this system and you come up with no[4:21:00] solutions to fix it what's your solution to join on[4:21:06] locals hosted by amazon web servers it's gonna go down in a week[4:21:10] so come up with a plan or shut up and secretly work your way around life and[4:21:17] figure it out but to sit there and whine whine whine[4:21:21] my mind[4:21:24] maybe owen will change his mind[4:21:27] so listen to this yeah this morning owen benjamin everybody very funny[4:21:32] and he was talking about how him and his wife jewels[4:21:35] talking about how they have no idea why people[4:21:38] could possibly not like a certain tribe of people[4:21:42] that wear small hats and i have no problem with that tribe of people[4:21:46] anymore i went through a phase where i did and then i realized[4:21:50] this is the irony that i that dawned on me[4:21:54] is i was complaining about them being too victimy as i was acting victimy i've[4:22:00] never had any racial animosity like for example i've listened to red bar[4:22:04] radio just because he's a good shit talking chicago guy and i just like[4:22:08] when people talk shit just funny and him and his wife seem to have a really good[4:22:12] relationship oh and i've thought to myself huh i[4:22:16] hope they have a lot of kids and i judge people whether or not[4:22:20] they're kind of like with god or without god listen to this[4:22:24] create because here's the the beauty and this is the funny thing about me and uh[4:22:28] red bar radio he's uh red bar uh you know he's from the[4:22:31] leprechaun tribe out of chicago what and so is my grandmother out of[4:22:34] chicago so we could be related and do you have a flashlight[4:22:41] i mean the cell[4:22:44] so[4:22:50] ask me who i am who are you i'm the leprechaun[4:22:57] mike meyers s and l[4:23:02] thank you[4:23:06] i'm honored you know the leprechaun was one of my favorite films he's irish by[4:23:10] the way irish people are pretty much[4:23:14] legit whites no issues with the irish leprechaun better than jew i would say[4:23:21] or not they're kind of like with god or without god[4:23:25] they can create because here's the the beauty and this is the funny thing about[4:23:29] me and uh red bar radio he's uh uh you know he's from the leprechaun tribe out[4:23:33] of chicago no no no and so is my grandmother out of chicago so we could[4:23:37] be related oh and that's where i'm at now and that's[4:23:40] why i have no animosity whatsoever to these people[4:23:43] and mike from red bar hope this helps you understand because i know he thinks[4:23:46] that i don't like his tribe but i would protect you from bees[4:23:51] i hope that you and your wife have a lot of kids like i would protect you from[4:23:55] bees hey listen[4:24:00] sorry that makes me want to cry it's so cute you would protect me from bees[4:24:04] hey listen even before you don't have to say another word[4:24:08] we're friends[4:24:14] i hereby denounce this day as a historical day of michael[4:24:20] gugenoff david shark and owen benjamin we're actual friends now[4:24:27] this settles it i'd love to meet you one day[4:24:32] he said the bee thing with like such a sincerity[4:24:36] that i yes listen to this there's more there's more[4:24:40] and that's where i'm at now and that's why i have no animosity whatsoever to[4:24:44] these people and mike from red bar hope this helps[4:24:47] you understand because i know he thinks that i don't like[4:24:49] his tribe but i would protect you from bees[4:24:53] i hope that you and your wife have a lot of kids like if a swarm of bees came[4:24:57] i'd punch each one right in the face just bang bang bang[4:25:01] like i get it now this is the type of guy i need[4:25:06] i'm pretty hooked up now i'm pretty fucking hooked up don't mess with me man[4:25:10] i got backup now i got backup i got guys that'll back me[4:25:14] up i want you to sit on one of his knees[4:25:16] and me to sit on the other knee and for him to just hold both of us on his lap[4:25:20] and his wife is rubbing her pussy in my face and her tits and i'm licking her[4:25:25] pussy and you're out of the picture i mean either or is fine it's a[4:25:30] different wife she's never had kids pretty fucking hot[4:25:34] can you pass me the water if you see this glass[4:25:37] like this now i feel like kind of having a kid since someone said so should we[4:25:40] start well i will adopt a few kids down yeah[4:25:44] you can't adopt it has to be your own blood or he'll be pissed[4:25:49] right i assume there's a lot of things you could do to an adopted kid to put[4:25:53] blood on him trust me listen to this and like for[4:25:58] example that dude red bar is like he's he's really funny[4:26:02] really creative has a great marriage so i feel like he's has a godly vibe to[4:26:07] him even though it's like do you hear what this person is saying[4:26:10] about i mean really my own father hasn't said something this nice but he's not[4:26:14] calling you a god that's how you're interpreting it he's[4:26:17] saying that you feel more christian to him than jewish no[4:26:22] i don't think so[4:26:26] what did he say about god listen to this because i know he thinks[4:26:31] that i don't like his tribe but i would protect you from bees[4:26:36] i hope that you and your wife have a lot of kids like if a swarm of bees came[4:26:40] i'd punch each one right in the face just bang bang bang[4:26:44] like i get it and like for example that dude red bar is like[4:26:48] he's he's really funny really creative has a great marriage[4:26:51] he's really funny really creative has a great marriage so[4:26:55] i feel like he's has a godly vibe to him even though it's like[4:27:00] he uh you know says some crazy shit about me personally too which is pretty[4:27:05] in i but i laugh because i i get his torment[4:27:08] and sometimes i laugh when his wife kind of giggles at his[4:27:13] when you have high pattern recognition high awareness guys[4:27:17] that uh have that torment your wife kind of finds it funny and that's the best[4:27:21] way to have a relationship uh a marriage and with[4:27:23] with people like that he's right though and here's the thing and then and then[4:27:28] like mike from red bar made a great point he said i am a god[4:27:42] i am a god[4:27:46] i am a god even i'm the man of god y'all gotta stop playing with god can't[4:27:52] see i'm playing with god first they don't like you make them unlike[4:27:56] you because everyone knows you're so unlike you the only rapper compared to[4:28:00] michael don't get kenner in the pen but mike[4:28:02] do kim chan smokes in a fucking backpack but everybody know you brought real[4:28:06] crap back oldie diamonds[4:28:16] i am a god even though i look like god i am a god y'all keep playing with god[4:28:24] y'all keep playing with god[4:28:36] i am a god[4:28:42] i just talked to jesus he said what up jesus[4:28:50] i said i'm just chilling trying to stack these millions[4:28:54] i am a god[4:29:12] i am a god[4:29:16] i am a god[4:29:18] i am a god[4:29:20] i am a god[4:29:22] i am a god[4:29:24] i am a god[4:29:26] i am a god[4:29:28] i am a god[4:29:30] i am a god[4:29:32] i am a god[4:29:34] i just talked to jesus[4:29:36] he said what up mike s[4:29:38] he said you are killing[4:29:40] i said i am chilling[4:29:42] at first they don't like you make them unlike you[4:29:44] kissing people's asses so unlike you[4:29:46] the only nigger compared to george floyd[4:29:50] it's me[4:30:02] i am a god[4:30:06] maybe i'm a god[4:30:10] i am a god[4:30:16] i am a god[4:30:20] i am a god[4:30:22] i am a god[4:30:24] i am amber[4:30:26] i changed my name to amber[4:30:28] i'm not a god[4:30:30] i'm just amber david[4:30:32] thank you[4:30:38] so you see jules[4:30:40] owen has confirmed[4:30:42] he says some crazy shit[4:30:44] about me personally too[4:30:46] which is pretty[4:30:48] but i laugh because i get his torment[4:30:50] and sometimes i laugh when his wife[4:30:52] kind of giggles at his torment[4:30:54] because my wife is very similar[4:30:56] when you have high pattern recognition[4:30:58] high awareness guys[4:31:00] that have that torment[4:31:02] your wife kind of finds it funny[4:31:04] and that's the best way to have a marriage[4:31:06] with people like that[4:31:08] he's right though[4:31:10] and here's the thing[4:31:12] mike from red bar made a great[4:31:14] point he said[4:31:16] what i don't like about[4:31:18] pomegranates is they're[4:31:20] gay acting and bitchy[4:31:22] and slimy[4:31:24] and he's like why can't you just be honest[4:31:26] to the people[4:31:28] he's like why can't you just say that[4:31:30] why do you have to blame all your problems on them[4:31:32] and just admit that that's what you don't like about them[4:31:34] and that's exactly right[4:31:36] but that's what i'm talking about[4:31:38] you'll watch a red bar radio guy[4:31:40] and he seems to have[4:31:42] less of a scam[4:31:44] mentality[4:31:46] than a lot of mainstream comedians[4:31:48] that are constantly scamming[4:31:50] so here's my greenhouse now[4:31:52] we just got in the 12th[4:31:54] raised bed[4:31:56] and i'm not lumping all of them into this[4:31:58] i want to buy him[4:32:00] in addition to his greenhouse[4:32:02] something like that[4:32:04] a new[4:32:06] let's go on a double date[4:32:08] double date[4:32:10] double date[4:32:12] we'll meet halfway[4:32:14] country wise[4:32:18] oh i would love to go on a double date with you[4:32:22] but it ain't happening[4:32:24] i don't date[4:32:26] unless it's wheelchair accessible[4:32:28] yeah unless it's wheelchair accessible[4:32:30] which nothing is anymore[4:32:32] because of covid[4:32:34] and comedians that are constantly scamming[4:32:36] so here's my greenhouse now[4:32:38] we just got in the 12th[4:32:40] um raised bed[4:32:42] and i'm not lumping in[4:32:44] all of them into this category[4:32:46] like a guy like mike from red bar radio[4:32:48] he creates[4:32:50] he's a grower[4:32:52] i'm a shower too[4:32:54] so i hope that is helpful to you guys[4:32:56] wait what was that quote about me[4:32:58] but you're a harvester of humor[4:33:00] listen to this[4:33:02] i need you to hear this[4:33:04] write this down[4:33:06] this is what's been going on this whole time[4:33:08] oh he's just this guy[4:33:10] i'm not lumping in all of them into this category[4:33:12] like a guy like mike from red bar radio[4:33:14] he creates[4:33:16] he's a grower[4:33:18] he's a harvester of humor[4:33:20] and then okay[4:33:22] he's a harvester of humor[4:33:24] and then he went on to say[4:33:26] the wildest things i've ever heard[4:33:28] about every other opinion[4:33:30] to cancel out all of those compliments[4:33:32] should we quickly watch the video of what sam[4:33:34] tripoli said about us[4:33:36] yeah let's watch that you guys aren't going to be[4:33:38] too many compliments in a row[4:33:40] yeah well this is what i mean it's like[4:33:42] all the best guys compliment me whether i talk about them[4:33:44] or not right[4:33:46] even like big jay ochres and you're like dude that guy's pretty funny[4:33:48] oh so he's the best guy now[4:33:50] well i'm saying like if you're talking[4:33:52] about if you want a real meter[4:33:54] on who is worth a shit[4:33:56] and who really should[4:33:58] be ejected from this game[4:34:00] as a scam[4:34:02] when you see people like geno[4:34:04] and sam tripoli say what they're worth[4:34:06] anything on anyone's meter well they[4:34:08] are i'm telling you people follow them[4:34:10] and um when you see what[4:34:12] they say about me you go[4:34:14] they're hiding something man[4:34:16] they're hiding something they're trying to[4:34:18] discredit me because[4:34:20] of what i said about them i always used to say[4:34:22] this on the show even though it's impossible[4:34:24] not to i said this ain't about me[4:34:26] bro[4:34:28] me calling you out for whatever i call you out[4:34:30] for it ain't about me[4:34:32] they always come back you should always[4:34:34] be wary of the people who attack right back[4:34:36] and[4:34:38] try to discredit the other guy[4:34:40] instead of like[4:34:42] either defending or ignoring[4:34:44] the allegation[4:34:46] you know that just shows oh so you can't[4:34:48] really defend my uh allegations[4:34:50] i made against you you're gonna go[4:34:52] and try to discredit the guy[4:34:54] yikes man[4:34:56] so i hold the remote control to who you[4:34:58] hate which is me[4:35:00] you know[4:35:02] uh even guys you see that go[4:35:04] after me that hate me unless i hate[4:35:06] them i don't go after them[4:35:08] you know i'll even[4:35:10] uh people go mike why don't you oh size[4:35:12] on z's i'm talking about you[4:35:14] hey listen man you know size on z's[4:35:16] uh pretty good guy[4:35:18] you know this is a guy who[4:35:20] wants me dead he wants my stream down[4:35:22] it's hard to be mad at him for[4:35:24] too long but it is it's like uh[4:35:26] they ask me every week[4:35:28] oh go after size on go after size on go[4:35:30] on it doesn't i'm[4:35:32] there's nothing in my blood that's[4:35:34] boiling about him the only thing that[4:35:36] would be is that he talked[4:35:38] shit about me and the only reason i would[4:35:40] be mad at something like that is if[4:35:42] i was some kind of gay[4:35:44] ass nigga you understand[4:35:46] you[4:35:48] shouldn't be mad at people just simply because[4:35:50] they talked shit about you okay[4:35:52] you know who[4:35:54] cares they talk shit about you[4:35:56] so[4:35:58] be wary of the people who get really mad[4:36:00] at me for talking shit about[4:36:02] them let's play you this[4:36:04] clip here it's sam tripoli[4:36:06] this is a free speech guy man[4:36:08] and he's kind of[4:36:10] uh falling right into my[4:36:12] opinions of him[4:36:14] um i said you know[4:36:16] sam tripoli's kids they're special needs kids[4:36:18] they're disgusting to me[4:36:20] they're disgusting and a[4:36:22] person like him and a wife like[4:36:24] his they really deserve those[4:36:26] two numskull kids that they made[4:36:28] because you got[4:36:30] two people that[4:36:32] i'm not kidding when i say it's like sam[4:36:34] tripoli to me is like[4:36:36] under geno in terms[4:36:38] of i don't feel like he should be[4:36:40] on the loose i feel like actually[4:36:42] it would be better for society if he[4:36:44] was behind bars almost[4:36:46] i feel that deeply about him i feel[4:36:48] like he is true[4:36:50] talk about[4:36:52] distorting reality[4:36:54] and bad for people[4:36:56] and a[4:36:58] taking away from[4:37:00] society instead of adding to[4:37:02] it you know what i mean he's a weed[4:37:04] and[4:37:06] uh he internally[4:37:08] disgusts[4:37:10] me[4:37:12] and um[4:37:14] he's so[4:37:16] stupid[4:37:18] and so confident[4:37:20] about his stupidity[4:37:22] and he's got these two[4:37:24] fucking kids that i wouldn't[4:37:26] wish on my worst enemies[4:37:28] you got one eye over here[4:37:30] another i mean they literally look[4:37:32] like a cartoon of a[4:37:34] he posted them we didn't dig into[4:37:36] his secret files to find[4:37:38] you don't have any hey if[4:37:40] i pushed down our throat[4:37:42] these kids look like if you[4:37:44] smacked the back of a gumball machine's[4:37:46] head and they were[4:37:48] it was a cartoon[4:37:50] gumball machine kid[4:37:52] i fucking hate them sorry[4:37:54] and this motherfucker[4:37:56] is now on this kick[4:37:58] dude you don't ever talk[4:38:00] about my kids so he's pulling[4:38:02] the old m&m[4:38:04] i love[4:38:06] mike what's the old m&m[4:38:08] dude if ever anyone ever[4:38:10] talks shit about my daughter[4:38:12] oh my daughter is my life[4:38:14] oh my daughter[4:38:16] i mean how[4:38:18] long have we heard gangsters[4:38:20] pretend that the only thing they care about[4:38:22] in this world[4:38:24] is they die[4:38:26] shut the fuck up[4:38:28] cause if that was true you wouldn't be a gangster[4:38:30] you wouldn't be against the law[4:38:32] um[4:38:34] i get it you had a kid and you're an[4:38:36] emotionally unstable fag[4:38:38] so no[4:38:40] oh and then you've seen it in movies[4:38:42] and heard it and said my daughter[4:38:44] if anyone ever tells me my daughter[4:38:46] shut the fuck up free speech[4:38:48] champion you know[4:38:50] maybe the way you're being offended about[4:38:52] how i talk about your[4:38:54] bobbly faced kids[4:38:56] is the way other people are offended[4:38:58] by the way you talk about them[4:39:00] you don't want to be banned from twitter[4:39:02] for saying any of the offensive things[4:39:04] you don't want to uh[4:39:06] there shouldn't be any censorship right[4:39:08] but when it comes to your kids[4:39:10] that's what you talk about[4:39:12] oh so you have a line[4:39:14] well maybe the people who don't like racist jokes[4:39:16] have a line[4:39:18] maybe the people who don't like[4:39:20] crystalia rape culture stuff[4:39:22] have a line[4:39:24] you don't care about their line[4:39:26] but when it comes to my kids[4:39:28] my kids[4:39:30] are you playing your kids[4:39:32] audio from red bar[4:39:34] that's bad[4:39:36] your kids aren't gonna hear this[4:39:38] your kids friends aren't gonna hear this[4:39:40] this is actually[4:39:42] not hurting your kids[4:39:44] at all[4:39:46] it's exposing you[4:39:48] for not being who you says you are[4:39:50] samantha[4:39:52] and here is uh[4:39:54] sam tripoli this is a clip[4:39:56] you know we're noteworthy now we're clipped[4:39:58] i don't even know who[4:40:00] this clipper is sam tripoli[4:40:02] this is red bar of being a[4:40:04] pedophile[4:40:06] hell no[4:40:08] wait till you see i hope i'm not a pedophile[4:40:10] wait till you see i'll gobble up those fucking[4:40:12] kids ears i'll suck their fucking[4:40:14] nuts[4:40:16] you better hope i'm not a pedophile[4:40:18] where he's just not trying to be a[4:40:20] twat here we go stop[4:40:22] watch now one minute[4:40:24] to write what you heard and who[4:40:26] told it to you free speech warrior[4:40:28] watch this oh it's red bar[4:40:30] the guy getting busted for pedophilia[4:40:32] right now what oh shit[4:40:34] oh wait[4:40:36] i red bar and i will[4:40:38] have a conversation oh[4:40:40] we do[4:40:42] oh really dude[4:40:44] why don't you say it to my face[4:40:46] oh it's red bar the guy being currently[4:40:48] busted for pedophilia now how[4:40:50] many wrong[4:40:52] assumptions does q get[4:40:54] to make before[4:40:56] they're considered not[4:40:58] trustworthy i mean really if[4:41:00] i just had a podcast where i was randomly[4:41:02] making assumptions[4:41:04] that ever came true[4:41:06] wouldn't people stop saying mike's right[4:41:08] probably sam tripoli[4:41:10] is like the leader of q anon[4:41:12] too and[4:41:14] every it's me and tom[4:41:16] hanks are pedophiles mike[4:41:18] david's currently going down it's[4:41:20] kind of cool to be one of the pedophiles[4:41:22] the iconic pedophiles of america well this is[4:41:24] what i mean you're really putting yourself out[4:41:26] there i mean even i wouldn't be this[4:41:28] flippant to say guys[4:41:30] guess what sam tripoli is going down[4:41:32] as a pedophile and i just[4:41:34] served that to you up as if it[4:41:36] was a real bit and then the next[4:41:38] week you come back you go mike what's going on here[4:41:40] he's not being arrested[4:41:42] yeah i haven't heard anyone else talk about it frankly[4:41:44] wouldn't[4:41:46] you start being mad at me[4:41:48] for just lying[4:41:50] to you not that he's lying[4:41:52] let's you know[4:41:54] everybody deserves their share in court[4:41:56] um[4:41:58] you could be on maybe i am a pedophile[4:42:00] what are you gonna do about[4:42:02] it[4:42:04] you know i made[4:42:06] the kids sign ndas[4:42:08] exactly i made that[4:42:10] you should see the little tiny hand prints on these[4:42:12] ndas it's like the two[4:42:14] baby footprints yeah[4:42:16] well i just steal them from their nurses[4:42:18] office i cut the feet out and i[4:42:20] tape them on[4:42:22] so that's an nda your honor[4:42:24] the kids solemnly swore to[4:42:26] shut the fuck up when i suck his cock[4:42:28] so i'm[4:42:30] now a[4:42:32] i don't know if you ever heard this but[4:42:34] sometimes q they don't like[4:42:36] pedophiles this q[4:42:38] i've heard that so uh[4:42:40] well they're not gonna like me[4:42:42] you know what they used to call me in[4:42:44] school what[4:42:46] kids uh kidzilla[4:42:48] ask[4:42:50] follow up question please did they call[4:42:52] you kids because i was 18[4:42:54] and i fucked a bunch a ton of kids[4:42:56] and they're no one's gonna stop[4:42:58] me pretty good nickname who's gonna[4:43:00] fucking stop me why don't your kids[4:43:02] come over here and i'll do this whole thing[4:43:04] where i[4:43:06] wait till you see what i do[4:43:08] does[4:43:10] that hold up in court oh man[4:43:12] why don't you bring your kids over here and we'll see what i[4:43:14] i'd be like your[4:43:16] honor i was saying like i'll take the kids i have[4:43:18] this great like basketball hoop[4:43:20] and we'll dribble[4:43:22] a few balls i'll teach the kids[4:43:24] some ropes[4:43:26] why don't you bring your kids over to my[4:43:28] house the pedophile[4:43:30] when you come say what you're gonna say to me[4:43:32] to my face face to face[4:43:34] talk when we do the face to face talk can you bring[4:43:36] your kids[4:43:38] you know[4:43:40] so that there could be face[4:43:42] to waist with the d[4:43:44] the michael[4:43:46] i want your kids face to[4:43:48] waist with me you will do face to face[4:43:50] your kids will be face to waist[4:43:52] and your wife will be[4:43:54] left to waist[4:43:56] dude no one told you about[4:43:58] trying to be a twat[4:44:00] don't censor my comedy you censorship[4:44:02] warrior[4:44:04] it's on buddy if you censor my[4:44:06] comedy i'm gonna censor your kids lips[4:44:08] with one of my nba's[4:44:10] listen to this[4:44:12] where he's just not trying to be a twat[4:44:14] here we go stop watch[4:44:16] now one minute to[4:44:18] write what you heard and who[4:44:20] told it to you listen to this there we go[4:44:22] oh it's red bar oh the[4:44:24] guy getting busted for pedophilia right[4:44:26] now[4:44:28] how do you[4:44:30] keep your job is queuing on leader[4:44:32] while making these claims[4:44:34] they didn't happen where's the busting[4:44:36] where's the paper spinning at the camera[4:44:38] mike david[4:44:40] finally locked up for the pedophilia[4:44:42] man why don't they do that newspaper[4:44:44] spinning yeah we should get that[4:44:46] transaction again busted[4:44:48] for pedophilia right now my legs[4:44:50] asleep[4:44:52] my fucking legs[4:44:54] red bar and i will have a conversation[4:44:56] face to face and he needs to know that[4:44:58] i'm not like these other motherfuckers[4:45:02] why don't you come say that to my face[4:45:04] that's how we respond he's[4:45:06] like oh yeah why don't you come say this[4:45:08] yeah say it to my fucking face then[4:45:10] you other motherfucker[4:45:12] come say it to my face[4:45:14] i'll give you my address[4:45:16] in chicago[4:45:18] talking about my fucking kids[4:45:20] listen here it comes here it comes[4:45:22] face to face and he needs to[4:45:24] know that i'm not like these other motherfuckers[4:45:28] talking about my fucking kids[4:45:30] you heard[4:45:32] what i said about them kids[4:45:34] do we have a song[4:45:36] i could sing about your kids pull up uh[4:45:38] eric clapton's um what's[4:45:40] that song about uh tears in heaven[4:45:42] tears and i got a song for you buddy[4:45:44] you like performances[4:45:46] or do you hate the karaoke[4:45:48] what type of red bar listener[4:45:50] are you[4:45:52] uh this is a song that i'm gonna[4:45:54] freestyle about[4:45:56] your kids[4:45:58] and then you're gonna come and say it to my face[4:46:02] you better say it to my face[4:46:04] you other motherfucker[4:46:06] battery low[4:46:08] i'll do it with the regular mic[4:46:10] jules hit all the effects[4:46:12] test one two three[4:46:14] test one two three[4:46:18] test one two three[4:46:20] wait can we get a better picture of[4:46:22] sam triply up on the screen[4:46:24] um so he could be behind me[4:46:26] sam triply[4:46:28] keys[4:46:30] let's see what comes up[4:46:32] i mean this is public[4:46:34] even i won't pull this[4:46:36] i was just gonna say[4:46:38] i mean i have to[4:46:40] hey i'm a comedy[4:46:42] god right sam don't[4:46:44] censor us don't[4:46:46] censor me don't censor us[4:46:48] sorry sam this is just pure[4:46:50] comedy[4:46:52] and one and[4:46:54] no jokes are too far[4:46:56] no jokes are too far[4:46:58] no[4:47:00] uh oh[4:47:02] hold on a sec[4:47:04] this is dedicated to Sam's[4:47:06] family[4:47:12] did you lower the light and all this[4:47:14] the fog machine and stuff[4:47:20] would you[4:47:22] know my name[4:47:24] if i[4:47:26] if i[4:47:28] saw your kids in heaven[4:47:32] would it[4:47:34] be the same[4:47:38] if mike[4:47:40] saw your kids in heaven[4:47:42] oh[4:47:44] yes[4:47:46] i don't think they're strong[4:47:48] strong[4:47:52] they look like[4:47:54] shit[4:47:56] and i know[4:47:58] they don't[4:48:00] belong[4:48:02] here on earth[4:48:04] you hear that sam[4:48:08] i've got[4:48:10] more[4:48:12] did the doctor[4:48:14] know[4:48:18] that your two kids[4:48:20] are brain dead[4:48:24] did he[4:48:26] even show[4:48:30] you the reports[4:48:32] from the ultrasound[4:48:34] i mean come on[4:48:36] he must be dumb[4:48:42] your doctor's[4:48:44] dumb[4:48:46] because i know[4:48:48] oh i just know[4:48:50] these kids don't[4:48:52] belong on earth[4:48:56] thank you everybody[4:49:06] free speech[4:49:08] hold on[4:49:12] streams can[4:49:14] bring you down[4:49:16] red bar can make[4:49:18] you frown[4:49:20] oh[4:49:26] yeah your kids are weird[4:49:28] i think[4:49:30] they should go[4:49:32] to the[4:49:34] ground[4:49:38] would i even[4:49:40] care[4:49:42] no no[4:49:44] if i ran into them[4:49:46] in heaven[4:49:48] no i'd tell them that their dad was[4:49:50] gay would i[4:49:52] fucking care[4:49:54] no no[4:49:56] if i[4:49:58] saw them in[4:50:00] germany in a holocaust[4:50:02] no[4:50:04] your kids are weird[4:50:08] they probably[4:50:10] can't even grow beards[4:50:12] because[4:50:14] they're off[4:50:16] and they're[4:50:18] fatalic[4:50:20] from the alcoholic syndrome[4:50:22] of your big fat wife[4:50:24] your whole family[4:50:26] is off[4:50:28] and retarded[4:50:30] and shit[4:50:34] your family[4:50:36] is shit[4:50:38] and crap[4:50:40] and ugly[4:50:42] and not part of what i think[4:50:44] society should even[4:50:46] be would you[4:50:48] even know[4:50:50] if i chop their heads[4:50:52] off and use them as ski balls[4:50:54] right to your wife's[4:50:56] cunt[4:50:58] would you even care[4:51:00] would you even know[4:51:02] would you be with brian kelly[4:51:04] allie allie allen[4:51:06] would you be doing one of your[4:51:08] podcasts or your livestream[4:51:10] to your instagram fans[4:51:12] i know you won't care when i[4:51:14] fuck your kids cause i'm the pedophile[4:51:16] from chicago[4:51:18] goodbye[4:51:22] thank you[4:51:24] your kids[4:51:26] are running[4:51:28] through[4:51:30] their lives[4:51:32] are unfair[4:51:34] don't censor our[4:51:36] comedy sam[4:51:38] stop censoring[4:51:50] can you turn all the lights up[4:51:52] oh yeah i always forget[4:51:54] i hope that he gives us due process[4:51:56] i think yeah[4:51:58] i should have due process in a court[4:52:00] of[4:52:02] your kids pants[4:52:04] bitch[4:52:06] now say that to the bifocacy[4:52:08] no one messes with red bar[4:52:10] next nice try shut the fuck[4:52:12] up let's go back to his little story[4:52:14] about me if it's never gonna come true[4:52:16] who the fuck[4:52:18] is red bar anyway[4:52:20] you're done[4:52:22] oh wait here's a[4:52:24] motherfucker you have to turn off your pedal[4:52:26] oh yeah[4:52:28] talking about my fucking kids[4:52:30] here it comes[4:52:32] don't worry about it[4:52:34] homeboy[4:52:36] don't worry about it[4:52:40] or what[4:52:42] or what[4:52:44] you chico[4:52:46] you complete psychotic person[4:52:48] you have an opinion on owen benjamin[4:52:50] i'm gonna tell you i'm pretty[4:52:52] impressed with what owen benjamin's done[4:52:54] i wish him luck[4:52:56] oh yeah you're at odds with[4:52:58] owen benjamin my new friend[4:53:00] owen[4:53:02] me and owen don't like the looks of you[4:53:04] we're in your family you're ruining america[4:53:08] i mean really[4:53:10] me and owen we have real families[4:53:12] real human beings we make[4:53:14] america look good[4:53:16] you make america look like a fucking[4:53:18] sweat park you make[4:53:20] america look like the[4:53:22] rejects line at six flags great america[4:53:24] sorry that's you can't just get in with the[4:53:26] coke can you need twenty dollars too[4:53:28] you are you[4:53:30] and your wife and your two little kids[4:53:32] are nobody wants[4:53:34] that around you're[4:53:36] anti-decor you make[4:53:38] every situation look worse[4:53:40] you are not tiki[4:53:42] you're not tiki you're[4:53:44] ugly you're poor[4:53:46] you're low rent[4:53:48] you're uneducated[4:53:50] you're the problem and this guy's gonna sit around[4:53:52] and talk about black people[4:53:54] i'd rather have this whole place a bunch of[4:53:56] mumbo jumbo monkeys[4:53:58] jumping around swinging from vine to vine[4:54:00] in my house than to have families[4:54:02] like this[4:54:04] aggravating my parks[4:54:06] so disgusting people[4:54:08] like him disgusting and[4:54:10] you're not getting anything listening out of tune[4:54:12] out anything he says i can say better[4:54:14] i want you to stop[4:54:16] listening six hundred and thirty two people[4:54:18] are watching his instagram live[4:54:20] feed the guy's got nothing[4:54:22] to say his wife[4:54:24] looks i mean i'm not kidding[4:54:26] you it looks like you went to walmart[4:54:28] and you go do you have any employees that had to[4:54:30] take a break because they were raped on the job[4:54:32] you go yeah you met veranda[4:54:34] you walk to the break room there's[4:54:36] a woman in sweatpants covered in punches[4:54:38] that's what your wife looks like[4:54:40] it couldn't[4:54:42] be worse[4:54:44] and the rest of america[4:54:46] don't want to look at that[4:54:48] we don't want to look at it[4:54:50] you're shit people[4:54:52] you ruin our zoos[4:54:54] you ruin our time out in cities[4:54:56] we walk around we tolerate[4:54:58] the looks[4:55:00] of you low life cunts[4:55:02] i mean[4:55:04] it really is disgusting[4:55:06] you and your whole fucking stupid family[4:55:08] doesn't it make you so mad[4:55:10] when a guy like this[4:55:12] tries it with you[4:55:14] yeah because it's like are you out of your fucking mind[4:55:16] like when we got really mad about[4:55:18] size on z that one time is because[4:55:20] sometimes you're just like can you believe[4:55:22] the nerve of this guy[4:55:24] you can't imagine the nerve[4:55:26] you can't imagine the nerve[4:55:28] of someone like you and your[4:55:30] fucking i can't stop bringing up your wife[4:55:32] because she is such a[4:55:34] lousy pig i saw her on that live stream[4:55:36] once[4:55:38] such a lousy pig[4:55:40] that the fact that you would even converse[4:55:42] with her in some point of history[4:55:44] to the point where you forget[4:55:46] having sex having a kid[4:55:48] yeah that's what i'm saying[4:55:50] you're utter[4:55:52] scum and if it weren't for this stupid[4:55:54] comedy scene[4:55:56] who don't know[4:55:58] you know the likes of a[4:56:00] rat from a giraffe[4:56:02] you wouldn't even exist you're[4:56:04] very lucky how stupid the comedy scene[4:56:06] is that they let anyone in[4:56:08] who just hangs[4:56:10] around at the bar long enough[4:56:12] you're disgusting inside and out[4:56:14] and here's what i wish and hope[4:56:16] for you and Brian Callan and your wife and the kids[4:56:18] your full life[4:56:20] in prison behind bars[4:56:22] and you know what my wish is[4:56:24] you don't want to mess with those[4:56:26] and[4:56:28] i'll even drink[4:56:30] to this one lord willing and the creek[4:56:32] don't rise my lord and savior[4:56:34] the creek master please[4:56:36] send him and the wife[4:56:38] to jail you can put his kids in[4:56:40] an orphanage where they could eventually[4:56:42] put them to sleep for being adopted by someone[4:56:44] yeah who could be adopted by a blind[4:56:46] couple maybe[4:56:48] cause they ugly[4:56:50] cheers and believe me i got[4:56:52] at least 500 people wishing[4:56:54] along with me which is just[4:56:56] enough thank you so much cheers[4:57:02] you gotta hear the rest of this[4:57:08] you know[4:57:10] here you go[4:57:12] and he's on his own journey[4:57:14] and i[4:57:16] have nothing to do with it and he's just gonna[4:57:18] do his own thing you know when they're coming for you[4:57:20] bro i would fight i will fight listen[4:57:22] i will fight[4:57:24] red bar for[4:57:26] charity okay[4:57:28] and charity will go to stopping[4:57:30] head of files[4:57:34] so i actually have a little[4:57:36] announcement here today and[4:57:38] listen we are enemies[4:57:40] i showed you that jake paul thing for real[4:57:42] i got an actual announcement here on november[4:57:44] 25th[4:57:46] a couple blocks down[4:57:48] from the staples center[4:57:50] sam triply and i are gonna[4:57:52] have the boxing match it's tickets are up[4:57:54] now at the zone just kidding[4:57:56] here's what he's saying he's gonna have a[4:57:58] celebrity boxing match with me[4:58:02] for pedophiles stuff[4:58:04] fuck so you're that[4:58:06] anti not donating to take[4:58:08] down pedophiles i hope it's donating to[4:58:10] taking down pedophiles so we can get some of the money[4:58:12] i'm gonna convince the world that taking[4:58:14] down a pedophile is cancel culture at its[4:58:16] finest you're not gonna let this man[4:58:18] have his free[4:58:20] speech what speech is more freer than[4:58:22] the kiss[4:58:24] or the fuck i mean[4:58:26] shouldn't a free fuck be better[4:58:28] than a free speech[4:58:30] you're not gonna let me free[4:58:32] fuck you're against free fuck[4:58:34] i'm[4:58:36] pro free fuck[4:58:38] i want your kids and i[4:58:40] don't even know how to do anything that crazy[4:58:42] but i imagine a world where i[4:58:44] learn to juggle so well they're going that high[4:58:46] up and they're spinning around and they're[4:58:48] landing[4:58:50] perfectly do you understand[4:58:52] hey maybe you could get one of the[4:58:54] uh mike look-alikes to do the[4:58:56] fight yes[4:58:58] i could schedule a look-alike for the[4:59:00] fight because remember we already need the look-alikes[4:59:02] for interviews for the charity against pedophilia[4:59:04] they better[4:59:06] be the most raised money charity[4:59:08] in existence right now[4:59:10] otherwise you're pro pedo[4:59:12] okay and[4:59:14] charity will go to stopping pedophiles[4:59:16] okay he'll[4:59:18] fight me anytime any[4:59:20] place it will stop[4:59:22] going from guys grooming[4:59:24] canadian chicks who are 12 year olds[4:59:26] okay[4:59:28] and red bar has[4:59:30] threatened to sue me a couple times[4:59:32] and i look forward to it[4:59:34] i can't wait to get that mother fucker[4:59:36] in discovery[4:59:38] you just josh dennied[4:59:40] yourself[4:59:42] we got guys like this[4:59:44] and i'm starting to pick out guys like this[4:59:46] when he said this i go[4:59:48] discovery[4:59:50] so you know about[4:59:52] the law[4:59:54] you know more about[4:59:56] the law than me like[4:59:58] i've never seen a tv show[5:00:00] pass the bar[5:00:02] dude like you're no stranger to the[5:00:04] courtroom maybe i should back off[5:00:06] about the good stuff[5:00:08] sorry[5:00:10] brah not the[5:00:12] happening brah[5:00:14] so if i'm the[5:00:16] pedophile affected[5:00:18] do i get the money out of the boxing match[5:00:20] yes we're gonna go to your family[5:00:22] i'm 12 well your family should be[5:00:24] arrested too for allowing this action[5:00:26] yeah exactly[5:00:28] and um so wait[5:00:30] what did he just say about me[5:00:32] um that he's gonna fight you[5:00:34] that you groomed a 12 year old[5:00:36] canadian teen that[5:00:38] you sued him[5:00:40] tried to sue him before or something[5:00:42] oh yeah and i'm no stranger to[5:00:44] discovery he said[5:00:46] this is like what josh denny does[5:00:48] they've like thought about[5:00:50] suing somebody over cancel it's like[5:00:52] their biggest fantasy is to like be in court[5:00:54] and like win[5:00:56] for being discriminated against[5:00:58] that's the thing i think that reveals the[5:01:00] most that people have never been in a lawsuit[5:01:02] is how excited[5:01:04] they get i know like if you've[5:01:06] ever been in a lawsuit you're like uh[5:01:08] fucking hell like nobody[5:01:10] would want to be in a lawsuit even if you could win[5:01:12] and had enough money you're like why would i[5:01:14] it would be like if somebody said[5:01:16] well would you like to[5:01:18] read go to school again[5:01:20] while you're an adult[5:01:22] nobody would do that[5:01:24] even if you hated someone so much you'd have to have[5:01:26] such an ego[5:01:28] and so crazy[5:01:30] to want to destroy somebody to win and[5:01:32] i mean it the process it would be like[5:01:34] would you ever elect to go[5:01:36] to the dmv every day[5:01:38] for two years[5:01:40] why would you want to do that[5:01:42] there's nothing a guy could do to me where[5:01:44] i would even if you had the most[5:01:46] solid case[5:01:48] in history what would be the point i mean[5:01:50] going to court once is worse[5:01:52] than being called anything it's like[5:01:54] going through a divorce yeah it's like[5:01:56] terrible so you[5:01:58] always know somebody[5:02:00] has never actually done it[5:02:02] and these free speech are good they like to[5:02:04] they're like about the legal system all of a sudden[5:02:06] talk about[5:02:08] reporting people the legal[5:02:10] system i thought[5:02:12] you were a free speecher you want to go[5:02:14] to court you want to do discovery[5:02:16] how about i[5:02:18] take your kids to the discovery zone[5:02:20] and we see what happens in dem tubes[5:02:22] okay[5:02:24] i'm going[5:02:26] easy at discovery zone[5:02:28] you and your wife can please stay[5:02:30] at home because your kids are here[5:02:32] at discovery zone and i'm[5:02:34] there chaperone[5:02:36] what do you think how about i chaperone[5:02:38] your kids at a birthday party[5:02:40] only chaperoned by me would you allow[5:02:42] it if i really[5:02:44] was a pedophile shouldn't you be working[5:02:46] day in and day out to take me down yeah[5:02:48] i thought that that was your biggest i know like[5:02:50] if you know that i'm a pedophile why are you[5:02:52] just like sitting back and only saying[5:02:54] this to an instagram stream[5:02:56] shouldn't you be seems like you're kind of[5:02:58] pro-pedophile yeah letting this go on[5:03:00] i mean m&m said it best[5:03:02] because you're such a gangster[5:03:04] what does m&m say[5:03:06] you're such a gangster well[5:03:08] then uh why don't you kill the mother[5:03:10] kill me right now[5:03:12] yeah kill a motherfucker dead[5:03:14] shoot him dead bitch[5:03:16] what does he say it's such a great line[5:03:18] he goes you're such a gangster[5:03:20] then put the mic down oh he goes[5:03:22] such a gangster then put the mic[5:03:24] down you should be out kill a mother[5:03:26] fuckers right now kill a mother[5:03:28] fuck kill a motherfucker dead[5:03:30] shoot him in his head bitch go[5:03:32] ahead rape my mom slap the fuck[5:03:34] out of me she can't sue[5:03:36] you she wouldn't get a buck out of you[5:03:38] what song[5:03:40] is that from it sounds like a positive[5:03:42] song is it a positive song nice[5:03:44] song[5:03:46] hi i'm m&m would you like to hear some[5:03:48] lyrics yeah[5:03:50] do it all do it all show me[5:03:52] what a nice song[5:03:54] you think frank sinatra ever said hey[5:03:56] got any lyrics about how i'm gonna shoe[5:03:58] and kill everyone[5:04:00] let's shoe[5:04:02] some woman tonight[5:04:04] let's fuck her up and hurt[5:04:06] her[5:04:08] where it counts music[5:04:10] didn't used to be so violent i like it[5:04:12] better[5:04:14] yeah what is that song[5:04:16] m&m was good for about a[5:04:18] six year period you know[5:04:20] people think oh he likes m&m he must like[5:04:22] monster i created a monster he lives[5:04:24] on my street i created a monster i wanted[5:04:26] the cover of news week no[5:04:28] didn't even know that was happening[5:04:30] to tell you the truth[5:04:32] then what the fuck you stop for[5:04:34] dummy that's you got it[5:04:36] what's that song nail in the coffin[5:04:38] put that on nail in the coffin by m&m[5:04:40] you're gonna love this song and[5:04:42] that's how it is i'm[5:04:44] you do[5:04:46] i'm sorry it's a benzino dish[5:04:48] people know what this is do you know who[5:04:50] benzino is[5:04:52] listen to this[5:04:56] you're gonna like this song[5:04:58] wait[5:05:00] wait wait wait pause it[5:05:02] benzino was like[5:05:04] the ceo creative[5:05:06] director or editor for the source[5:05:08] magazine[5:05:10] this guy benzino and he was like[5:05:12] a half mexican[5:05:14] one of those fucking guys i used to want a[5:05:16] source hoodie so fucking[5:05:18] bad when i was a kid that was like the ultimate[5:05:20] clothing piece you could have[5:05:22] can you put that back on yes[5:05:24] this is what it's about[5:05:28] i don't wanna be like this[5:05:30] i don't really wanna hurt no feelings[5:05:32] but i'm only being[5:05:34] real when i say nobody wants[5:05:36] to hear their grandfather rap[5:05:38] no men have heart attacks[5:05:40] i don't wanna be responsible[5:05:42] for that so[5:05:44] put the mic down and walk away[5:05:46] you can still have a little bit of[5:05:48] dignity[5:05:50] i would never claim to be no[5:05:52] an 83 year old fake[5:05:54] so how can he hold me[5:05:56] over some balcony without throwing[5:05:58] this lower back out as soon as he goes[5:06:00] to lift me so he said i'll throw[5:06:02] m&m off a balcony[5:06:04] okay well how can you throw me[5:06:06] over this balcony you're so old you know[5:06:08] an 83 year old[5:06:10] fake patino so how can he[5:06:12] hold me over some balcony without[5:06:14] throwing this lower back out as soon[5:06:16] as he goes to lift me[5:06:18] please don't you'll probably fall with[5:06:20] me and i'll ask the both of you history[5:06:22] but then again you'll finally[5:06:24] get your wish cause you'll be all over[5:06:26] the street like 50 cent[5:06:28] cause you'll be all over[5:06:30] the street like 50 cent get it if you[5:06:32] fall with me dollar in the woods[5:06:34] this is a perfect way i wanna show you this[5:06:36] this is a perfect example of how you do a rap[5:06:38] you gotta sound happy[5:06:40] jovial not[5:06:42] angry and confident[5:06:44] about what you're gonna do to this guy[5:06:46] it can't be[5:06:48] in anger it can't be in[5:06:50] defensiveness i think[5:06:52] this is the perfect[5:06:54] diss track[5:07:08] so you're learning you don't have to know about the guy[5:07:10] i didn't know about the guy i'm like oh he sucks[5:07:12] dick in the industry he claims[5:07:14] that he's in the streets[5:07:16] hustling okay m&m is really[5:07:18] let me know about this guy[5:07:22] kissing and begging motherfuckers for guest[5:07:24] appearances and you can't even get[5:07:26] the clearances cause real lyricists don't[5:07:28] even respect you or take you serious[5:07:30] it's not that we don't like you we[5:07:32] hate you period talk about[5:07:34] a midlife crisis damn[5:07:36] last week he was shaking obi trice's[5:07:38] hand now he's a buster what the[5:07:40] fuck's with that get on the track[5:07:42] see how he's explaining the situation[5:07:44] perfectly you don't have to know about this guy[5:07:46] to go he did what[5:07:48] he did what[5:07:50] take note this is a good[5:07:52] diss track[5:08:20] ohh[5:08:26] ohh[5:08:40] okay[5:08:50] ohh[5:09:12] that's the best line[5:09:14] if you're that much of a gangster[5:09:16] put the mic down[5:09:18] you should be out killing motherfuckers[5:09:20] right now[5:09:22] cause what is a gangster gonna say well i'm not[5:09:24] gonna kill anyone today[5:09:26] oh shit are you gonna kill anyone ever[5:09:28] can i just flick you in the fucking head[5:09:30] are you gonna do anything i thought[5:09:32] the only reason i'm afraid of you is cause of the killing[5:09:34] so if you're not gonna kill[5:09:36] that's a pretty good line[5:09:48] fucking head go ahead bitch[5:09:50] slap my mom slap the fuck out[5:09:52] of her she can't sue you she wouldn't[5:09:54] get a fuck out of you cause you're broke as fuck[5:09:56] you suck you're a fucking[5:09:58] joke if you was really selling coke[5:10:00] well then what the fuck you stop for dummy[5:10:02] if you slew some crap you'd make a lot[5:10:04] more money than you do from rap[5:10:06] i mean that's a concise[5:10:08] cause you're learning about right you don't know this guy[5:10:10] but you're learning about his crimes[5:10:12] i saw a guy[5:10:14] in the chat while i was playing this[5:10:16] did you see this guy[5:10:18] oh but that's one of sam's fans he's been doing that the whole time[5:10:20] he's got a fan here[5:10:22] i think so[5:10:24] listen what he says[5:10:26] mike cannot wait[5:10:28] to move on from sam's accusation[5:10:30] he's acting like it didn't even affect him[5:10:32] he's got a point[5:10:34] well then i'm gonna rewind[5:10:36] and we're gonna hear the accusation again[5:10:38] and guess what[5:10:40] i don't deny it[5:10:42] i'm a fucking bad guy[5:10:44] you don't wanna mess with me[5:10:46] i did everything he said[5:10:48] what you gonna do[5:10:50] to me beep beep beep[5:10:54] come over to my house[5:10:56] if you think i'm such an issue[5:11:02] i'll introduce you to my[5:11:04] cat[5:11:08] my dog is my only[5:11:10] cat[5:11:12] come on over[5:11:14] say it to my face[5:11:18] poor charity[5:11:20] and charity will go to[5:11:22] stopping pedophiles[5:11:24] he'll fight me[5:11:26] anytime anyplace[5:11:28] it will stop going from guys[5:11:30] grooming canadian chicks[5:11:32] who are 12 year olds[5:11:34] and red bar[5:11:36] has threatened to sue me a couple times[5:11:38] and i look forward to[5:11:40] you know what you're fucking sued[5:11:42] i hope you got those papers[5:11:44] does he mean like we're yelling at him for being so stupid[5:11:46] and we say we wanna sue him[5:11:48] for having a show or something like that[5:11:50] and he got confused[5:11:52] lock him up he'll be sued[5:11:54] he's saying he's gonna sue me[5:11:56] you know what i am gonna sue you[5:11:58] the papers should be in your mailbox[5:12:00] today from[5:12:02] the judges and they're furious[5:12:04] and i'll tell you this[5:12:06] they were all on my side already[5:12:08] i've worked out a deal with them[5:12:10] you're not gonna like discovery[5:12:12] you're not gonna like discovery bro[5:12:14] when i show them a picture of your wife and them[5:12:16] grey sweatpants they're gonna go[5:12:18] ooh discover me no[5:12:20] they're gonna want[5:12:22] nothing to do with that discovery[5:12:24] of that pit stained vagina[5:12:26] that your wife has all the time[5:12:28] that V[5:12:30] that darkened V in her[5:12:32] heather athletic cheapo[5:12:34] sweatpants where she[5:12:36] walks around your house gassing the place up[5:12:38] taking care of the kooky[5:12:40] eyed two[5:12:42] i want to[5:12:44] i wish i was a football player so i could[5:12:46] get your kids over that field goal[5:12:48] imagine me teeing up[5:12:50] your fucking kid with a kick[5:12:52] nah i ain't a kicker[5:12:54] so how could that be a threat[5:12:56] randy[5:12:58] randy kicked me in the chest i'd like to kick your head[5:13:00] but i wouldn't do it i mean you can get together with[5:13:02] randy since you're not a kicker let me tell you something[5:13:04] uh your[5:13:06] kids[5:13:08] let me think what i'm gonna do to your kids first of all[5:13:10] i'm gonna take your kids[5:13:12] i'm gonna do everything Jeffrey[5:13:14] Dahmer did to everybody[5:13:16] to them[5:13:18] and then[5:13:20] they're not gonna be yours[5:13:22] this is what you gotta really think about like what would[5:13:24] drive a man nuts your kids are just[5:13:26] gonna live with me[5:13:28] and i'll send you video[5:13:30] messages of me squeezing[5:13:32] them so hard that you're worried about how hard[5:13:34] i'm squeezing them why would this guy[5:13:36] see this is how dumb he is i know you're so fucking[5:13:38] stupid that it's like the worst thing[5:13:40] that could happen to you[5:13:42] is someone says something about your kids so you[5:13:44] offer that up to everybody as the thing[5:13:46] that'll get you furious cause nobody's[5:13:48] gonna care what are you gonna say hi i'm a[5:13:50] q and on artist[5:13:52] your honor and this guy said my[5:13:54] kids are screwballs with googly[5:13:56] eyes i mean i don't know what you[5:13:58] think's gonna ever happen you're[5:14:00] not beating me up in a charity[5:14:02] match i[5:14:04] can say whatever i want about your kids[5:14:06] every day of my life forever[5:14:08] nothing will happen legally[5:14:10] or physically[5:14:12] ever[5:14:14] ever you can't even[5:14:16] find me if you[5:14:18] and the whole army came[5:14:20] out to try to find me at the very[5:14:22] least you wouldn't find me so[5:14:24] let's start over[5:14:26] samuel[5:14:28] what are you gonna do[5:14:30] about it is my question[5:14:34] face to face[5:14:36] where[5:14:38] where[5:14:40] will you stop me[5:14:44] the street[5:14:46] the saloon[5:14:48] the[5:14:50] great wall of china[5:14:52] where on my apple screensaver[5:14:54] will me and you meet[5:14:56] for the stopping cause[5:14:58] it ain't stopping i might[5:15:00] start a podcast called sam's[5:15:02] kids[5:15:06] and it's just a show about[5:15:08] what they look like to me[5:15:10] what are you gonna do[5:15:12] your honor[5:15:14] he made a show called sam's kids[5:15:16] ok what's the show about[5:15:18] my kids well sorry my[5:15:20] daughter's a big fan so shut up[5:15:22] what do you think's gonna happen[5:15:24] i'm gonna make fun of those kids till they're 18[5:15:26] and when they're 18 i'm gonna fuck them[5:15:28] with dave[5:15:30] sorry we just watched the kevin brennan documentary[5:15:32] me and dave landau are gonna[5:15:34] 69 your kids when they're 18[5:15:36] and a half we're gonna give it make[5:15:38] sure they're fully 18[5:15:40] then we're gonna pile drive[5:15:42] them in their slim anuses[5:15:44] me and dave landau[5:15:46] right in front of steven crowder's lawyer who has[5:15:48] deemed it fine[5:15:50] what will you do[5:15:52] right people are always like mike mike why do you[5:15:54] only go after right wing guys[5:15:56] and not left wing people[5:15:58] it's so much more satisfying[5:16:00] to make fun of someone who has to take[5:16:02] it because they've been spouting[5:16:04] out about free speech for[5:16:06] ten fucking years[5:16:08] listen if the judge[5:16:10] goes hey you've gone too far you've wrecked[5:16:12] these kids[5:16:14] to the judge you're still anti[5:16:16] free speech at the end of the day[5:16:18] so that's all i'm[5:16:20] proving and i've already proven it[5:16:22] so your[5:16:24] kids are my[5:16:26] elixir they're all[5:16:28] i crave sorry i'm[5:16:30] sorry i haven't done anything to the kids[5:16:32] and i would never do anything to the kids[5:16:34] we've got a disclaimer[5:16:36] it's a disclaimer it's all comedy[5:16:38] but and if you try to stop us you're[5:16:40] censoring comedy is it illegal to[5:16:42] say i am in love with this guy's[5:16:44] kids i'm not gonna[5:16:46] do anything but i love them and i[5:16:48] love them as my own and they're gonna move in with me[5:16:50] when they're 18 and they're[5:16:52] gonna be my sons[5:16:54] and i'm gonna raise them to kiss[5:16:56] me sorry[5:16:58] is that what you wanna hear[5:17:00] as a really worried dad[5:17:02] or do you wanna be free speech[5:17:04] let's hear the rest of this nonsensical[5:17:08] do it i'm not gonna do that to the kids[5:17:10] i can't wait to get that mother fucker in discovery[5:17:12] so let him keep talking[5:17:14] does he drink? let him keep talking[5:17:18] i need water[5:17:22] no his name is not[5:17:24] dude pedo open mic that's his name[5:17:26] not enough water[5:17:30] hold on what time we at[5:17:32] where we at oh dude we're over a minute[5:17:34] time to go if i did this[5:17:36] i didn't say any quality of a job[5:17:38] would you like me you know i feel like[5:17:40] i gotta be so quality to be liked by[5:17:42] anybody ashley butterfield[5:17:44] makes me be a goddamn legend[5:17:46] until he kind of likes me[5:17:48] sam tripoli just sits there[5:17:50] do you hear the stuff out of his mouth[5:17:52] like let's back that up a few seconds[5:17:56] pretend you're a fan[5:17:58] pretend this isn't about me[5:18:00] why is this okay to say[5:18:04] uh anytime[5:18:06] i don't feel so right[5:18:08] listen to this[5:18:12] hold on what time we at[5:18:14] where we at oh dude[5:18:16] we're over a minute time to go[5:18:18] guy didn't say anything so let's go[5:18:20] find fucking retard[5:18:22] oh there we go[5:18:24] there[5:18:26] that's entertainment[5:18:28] to you some guy just[5:18:30] spouting nonsense i mean i could[5:18:32] i drink all day at night here[5:18:34] you know i wear my body[5:18:36] down to a[5:18:38] as thin as a sliver[5:18:40] if i set[5:18:42] these things i would end the show[5:18:44] myself i mean i would really cancel[5:18:46] it myself this guy's just[5:18:48] a lot[5:18:50] oh he's[5:18:52] cool he's one of our influencers[5:18:54] we go oh[5:18:56] man bang[5:18:58] gone listen to this[5:19:00] just got rid of people talk shit[5:19:02] he's banning people he's gone[5:19:04] oh there we are solar[5:19:06] opposites did it again dude[5:19:08] somebody[5:19:10] says mike doesn't feel well pressure[5:19:12] is too high[5:19:14] could this be[5:19:16] could it be i think so[5:19:18] you know me[5:19:20] am i falling[5:19:22] these allegations rocked you[5:19:24] yeah i told my uh district[5:19:26] attorney i go there's gonna be some allegations[5:19:28] coming in from this guy[5:19:30] they're gonna say i'm a pedophile[5:19:32] does he have any evidence[5:19:34] i hope not[5:19:36] i fucking hope not your honor[5:19:38] that's all i'll say about that[5:19:40] but uh i'm not[5:19:42] uh worried about like anything[5:19:44] anyone accuses me of i have to[5:19:46] double down on it i have to go[5:19:48] i did it[5:19:50] no because you can't defend[5:19:52] yourself because it's so fucking[5:19:54] so if you're a pedophile[5:19:56] it's like well that's[5:19:58] then it's like this imagine[5:20:00] that's the thing it's uh[5:20:02] and i really it's like an[5:20:04] unspoken lesson on this show it's[5:20:06] like when you defend yourself you're[5:20:08] a total tool[5:20:10] you can never defend yourself so if[5:20:12] somebody even accuses you of rape you gotta go[5:20:14] i could have[5:20:16] brutally[5:20:18] will let the courts decide[5:20:20] when i had to explain to everybody[5:20:22] about my pictures thing which was like[5:20:24] the only reason i did that is[5:20:26] because i just wanted the real story to be out there[5:20:28] yeah it was like the worst day of my[5:20:30] life yeah it was so gay[5:20:32] well imagine this it's like[5:20:34] um you know you get accused of[5:20:36] rape and you[5:20:38] all i would say is[5:20:40] and you gotta keep this attitude[5:20:42] you gotta keep this[5:20:44] well let's see what that judge[5:20:46] has to say[5:20:48] about that rape that i could have done[5:20:50] could have not done we don't know[5:20:52] don't give anyone[5:20:54] any respect about the case till you get[5:20:56] to the judge sorry[5:20:58] it's up to that judge[5:21:00] that judge is the only man[5:21:02] i mean really what are you gonna do[5:21:04] yeah someone quotes an amazing[5:21:06] kanye tweet any rumor[5:21:08] you heard about me is true and[5:21:10] legendary yeah can we have that song[5:21:12] any rumor about you ever heard[5:21:14] about me is true and that's how the lyric sounds[5:21:16] any rumor about you ever heard about[5:21:18] me is true and legendary[5:21:22] should we do the denny thing next instead of[5:21:24] kill tony and then do kill tony last[5:21:26] before you get too tired why would[5:21:28] i be getting too tired[5:21:30] i just mean so you have your more[5:21:32] not that you're getting tired[5:21:34] but so that you have more jubilant[5:21:36] youthful energy for the denny[5:21:38] part instead of leaving it to the very last[5:21:40] thing what do you[5:21:42] mean just a suggestion[5:21:44] but feel free to[5:21:46] imagine watching red[5:21:48] bar like i can't even imagine[5:21:50] what they're seeing i know i don't even want to know[5:21:52] keep them guessing yeah i'm[5:21:54] not every time we watch red bar[5:21:56] back it's a total surprise[5:21:58] it's literally it's the best[5:22:00] show i watch red bar back i go[5:22:02] i mean i have to turn it off because i'm[5:22:04] done i'm like this is too much[5:22:06] laughing jules is[5:22:08] certainly being annoyed[5:22:10] i gotta turn this off i'm[5:22:12] laughing too much when i[5:22:14] watch this show i go where is he getting[5:22:16] this how does he[5:22:18] come up with this crap[5:22:20] that's what i say[5:22:22] teach your own[5:22:24] she's talking about being[5:22:26] too i don't know what that is[5:22:28] the best show people love fucking[5:22:30] red bar now did you know that you know[5:22:32] that i can't even[5:22:34] keep up with the positive comments keep[5:22:36] them coming[5:22:38] you're gonna get denny you're gonna get it all[5:22:40] um let's[5:22:42] do a performance real quick[5:22:44] i can't believe we don't have smoke[5:22:46] i know i've been trying to do it the[5:22:48] whole time thinking that maybe eventually it'll pop[5:22:50] open i'm so mad about that[5:22:52] you were actually[5:22:54] i was i'm still[5:22:56] like i'm furious[5:22:58] i mean i invested my money[5:23:00] and time into this device[5:23:02] sitting right here i wish i could[5:23:04] show you and[5:23:06] it's just yeah oh you don't work[5:23:08] after two weeks[5:23:10] oh that's cool it's not that a[5:23:12] huge performance uh relies[5:23:14] on it all right we'll do a performance[5:23:16] here uh why don't you[5:23:18] get me that why bother[5:23:22] i'm telling you i feel real[5:23:24] sick that's why i'm saying[5:23:26] we should do the denny next yeah we[5:23:28] will[5:23:30] these performances[5:23:32] they're not up to me[5:23:34] all right[5:23:36] i hate the performances part of the[5:23:38] show but it's just something you got to do[5:23:44] i'll tell you this[5:23:46] is battery gonna[5:23:48] be dead here[5:23:50] yes remember it was almost dead when you[5:23:52] sang last time that's insane it's like six[5:23:54] bucks in batteries every day[5:23:56] why don't you uh here[5:24:00] because i got a great song for[5:24:02] people i am getting a little uh[5:24:04] you know[5:24:06] here's a good thing for people the songs[5:24:08] get me less drunk[5:24:10] so there you go[5:24:12] so when i'm feeling too drunk i do a song[5:24:14] it expels[5:24:16] the[5:24:18] drunkenness from me[5:24:20] and then i could carry on and do[5:24:22] a segment about your least[5:24:24] favorite comedian so that's how you get a look[5:24:26] at it i'll let them get a song out[5:24:28] it'll straighten them up[5:24:30] i'll show you the inner[5:24:32] workings of a justin[5:24:34] beiber microphone so here's[5:24:36] the battery pack[5:24:38] i'm so[5:24:40] like what people don't[5:24:42] understand about me[5:24:44] i don't have too much time jules[5:24:46] i know it hurts you to think[5:24:48] about i don't have too much time[5:24:50] left[5:24:52] people always think i'm joking[5:24:54] here[5:24:56] and who's gonna run the[5:24:58] funeral who's gonna do all this[5:25:00] jules who[5:25:02] you you're gonna be a[5:25:04] mess i don't think i can do it[5:25:08] i dropped the battery[5:25:10] do you want me to get it[5:25:12] uh[5:25:14] you know it really is[5:25:16] severe around here it really[5:25:18] is a shame and i just hope you pass[5:25:20] on my clips to the next[5:25:22] generation[5:25:24] this is a song that[5:25:26] i uh wrote[5:25:28] it's the first time i've ever wrote[5:25:30] a song myself for the show[5:25:32] right wow[5:25:34] yeah[5:25:36] test[5:25:38] test one two[5:25:40] test[5:25:44] how did we make it work[5:25:48] oh[5:25:50] you're gonna love this[5:25:52] are you worried[5:25:54] i just was thinking about the sound[5:25:56] test one two three[5:25:58] test[5:26:00] one two three[5:26:02] you got it[5:26:04] hit the lights[5:26:06] it's a[5:26:08] performance here you go[5:26:15] i[5:26:17] know[5:26:19] i should get next to you[5:26:21] you got a look[5:26:23] that makes me think you're true[5:26:25] but it's a sexual[5:26:27] attraction[5:26:29] that's something real so i better[5:26:31] keep on working[5:26:33] why bother[5:26:35] it's gonna hurt me[5:26:37] it's gonna kill when you[5:26:39] desert me[5:26:41] it's happened to me twice[5:26:43] won't happen to me anymore[5:26:46] i've known a lot of girls[5:26:48] before[5:26:50] what's the harm in knowing[5:26:52] one more[5:26:54] maybe we can even get together[5:26:56] maybe you can break my heart[5:26:58] next summer[5:27:00] why bother[5:27:02] it's gonna hurt me[5:27:04] it's gonna kill when you[5:27:06] desert me[5:27:08] it's happened to me twice before[5:27:10] won't happen to me anymore[5:27:34] it's your crying chance for more than ever[5:27:37] not with you, no hope, no anyone[5:27:40] will you not be on my end[5:27:44] take it or will you let me out of here[5:27:47] why bother[5:27:49] it's gonna hurt me[5:27:51] it's gonna kill when you[5:27:53] desert me[5:27:55] it's happened to me twice before[5:27:58] won't happen to me anymore[5:28:01] why bother[5:28:03] it's gonna hurt me[5:28:05] it's gonna kill me[5:28:07] it's gonna hurt me[5:28:09] why bother[5:28:11] it's gonna hurt me[5:28:13] it's gonna hurt me[5:28:35] before i get because yeah i'm pretty fucked up[5:28:37] but don't forget[5:28:39] as soon as we're back[5:28:41] to business we're doing the big mic show[5:28:43] the big mic show wait till you see[5:28:45] what we've invested in[5:28:47] in this big mic[5:28:49] nobody likes hot dogs[5:28:51] hot dog eating competition[5:28:53] slash big mic[5:28:55] re-coverage event[5:28:57] woo[5:28:59] oh my gosh scratchy man[5:29:01] yeah i'm a little scratchy right now[5:29:03] your voice sounds like that like when you listen to the old red bars are you still smoked[5:29:07] get me off[5:29:09] suck me off[5:29:11] do everything to my body[5:29:13] yup[5:29:15] the red bar dishes in[5:29:17] tripoli cal and free[5:29:19] good shit i can't believe[5:29:21] you're an understudy[5:29:23] i'll do you proud[5:29:25] look at these great comments here[5:29:27] i'm not gonna be okay if mic stops[5:29:29] living people are saying[5:29:31] people really care about me nowadays[5:29:33] you gotta keep me alive[5:29:35] everything that happens to me is her fault[5:29:37] i'm trying[5:29:39] blame it on her[5:29:41] i'm really a days[5:29:43] away from gone[5:29:45] yup[5:29:47] these episodes[5:29:49] they're gonna be epic[5:29:51] alright what do we got[5:29:53] next year[5:29:55] anything[5:29:57] you guys ready for[5:29:59] shy verse[5:30:01] pry here we go folks[5:30:05] i don't have much in me i'll tell you[5:30:07] this right now i don't have much in me today[5:30:09] but i do have this[5:30:11] and i gotta really focus in on this[5:30:13] i cannot stand[5:30:15] and clippers if you're gonna clip[5:30:17] this please clip my moments[5:30:19] from the beginning of the show[5:30:21] and merge them with this[5:30:23] yes everything where we said how sick he is[5:30:25] put that before every clip of the show[5:30:27] perfect clip[5:30:29] but no i was saying like what i was talking about[5:30:31] these comedy shows[5:30:33] you know people like josh denney[5:30:35] 100,000 fake twitter followers[5:30:37] do you know discante[5:30:39] doing a fake show on compound media[5:30:41] for 200[5:30:43] sorry saps tops[5:30:45] we've seen the numbers when they accidentally[5:30:47] leaked them[5:30:49] with the code error on their website[5:30:51] remember and it showed everyone's view counts[5:30:53] and hot water was getting about[5:30:55] 230 views[5:30:57] after[5:30:59] 3-4 weeks[5:31:01] their average was about[5:31:03] 230 views[5:31:05] it exposed[5:31:07] i mean we just saw it[5:31:09] i'm sure some hacker could get that data again[5:31:11] if they really tried i'm sure the compound[5:31:13] website isn't secure[5:31:15] so what i really am starting[5:31:17] to get annoyed[5:31:19] with is[5:31:21] comedians[5:31:23] i mean really it's about the post[5:31:25] you know when josh denney goes[5:31:27] got a big show coming up in new jersey[5:31:29] come on up[5:31:31] he doesn't care if you even come on out[5:31:33] he's expecting zero[5:31:35] because that's what he gets[5:31:37] he[5:31:39] his[5:31:41] fulfillment from that[5:31:43] is i got to tell[5:31:45] these people who think i'm an actual[5:31:47] comedian i got to tell them[5:31:49] that i have a show[5:31:51] and that's[5:31:53] all that he needs[5:31:55] same thing with geno it's like[5:31:57] if i was doing[5:31:59] i have been doing red bar[5:32:01] i've been doing red bar for how many years[5:32:03] 30[5:32:05] if i tuned in[5:32:07] and there were two people[5:32:09] in the chat[5:32:11] after this many years[5:32:13] i'd kill myself[5:32:15] i really would[5:32:17] i mean i think it's unacceptable[5:32:19] there's a grace period[5:32:21] there's a building yourself up period[5:32:23] there's a work period[5:32:25] before people know you[5:32:27] josh denney let's keep him in mind[5:32:29] it's his show we're gonna see[5:32:31] josh denney spy[5:32:33] report coming up[5:32:35] he's been at it[5:32:37] for 15 years[5:32:39] he has 100,000[5:32:41] plus[5:32:43] twitter followers[5:32:45] he's been on[5:32:47] 1500 podcasts[5:32:49] this year[5:32:51] telling his story[5:32:53] to everyone who will listen[5:32:55] how can you[5:32:57] only get zero[5:32:59] people to come to your[5:33:01] show when i[5:33:03] say zero i mean zero[5:33:05] what we're about to show you is[5:33:07] one of red bar's patented[5:33:09] spy reports[5:33:11] what is[5:33:13] this well we actually[5:33:15] don't commission these[5:33:17] it turns out[5:33:19] if you're such a[5:33:21] fool and so[5:33:23] shitty our[5:33:25] listeners will actually seek[5:33:27] out going to your[5:33:29] shows themselves[5:33:31] just cause[5:33:33] they know it'll be so shitty[5:33:35] that whatever photo[5:33:37] or video they send back to me[5:33:39] will make it to the show[5:33:41] and be hilarious that's how shitty[5:33:43] they know you are[5:33:45] this doesn't happen like people[5:33:47] don't go dude mark norman's[5:33:49] performing i'm gonna go out and do it[5:33:51] they don't do it cause they know he's[5:33:53] fine we don't like[5:33:55] his comedy we think he sucks whatever but[5:33:57] at least he's[5:33:59] being a professional[5:34:01] we've got this[5:34:03] other tier of comedians here[5:34:05] gino bisconte josh denney[5:34:07] chrissy mar these are not[5:34:09] real comedians[5:34:11] they don't perform actual[5:34:13] comedy they don't do[5:34:15] shows for anybody[5:34:17] they're not even[5:34:19] necessarily i don't like to say people aren't[5:34:21] funny that's up to you but[5:34:23] they're not even necessarily[5:34:25] trying to be funny anymore they're more[5:34:27] political guys[5:34:29] so[5:34:31] i get furious[5:34:33] when i see them trying to emulate[5:34:35] or reenact the life of[5:34:37] an actual comic you know josh[5:34:39] denney walks around he talks about himself[5:34:41] he goes on other shows[5:34:43] he tweets as if he's[5:34:45] a celebrated[5:34:47] mid-level[5:34:49] comedian[5:34:51] that everyone knows i mean he[5:34:53] talks about himself as if he's rich[5:34:55] vos from[5:34:57] kumiar as if he's[5:34:59] a tim dillon he talks about himself[5:35:01] as if he's a mark norman[5:35:03] he is not even a[5:35:05] comedian i need to remind[5:35:07] people he's an uber[5:35:09] driver that's what he does[5:35:11] for a living drives uber[5:35:13] and pretends to be a comic[5:35:15] this can't keep[5:35:17] going on[5:35:19] i mean we literally bust him every[5:35:21] week doing an ultimate[5:35:23] lie[5:35:25] why isn't this being[5:35:27] okay we have this other denney[5:35:29] episode where he goes on one of his cancel[5:35:31] culture podcast that we wanted to play[5:35:33] more from because it's really great[5:35:35] but you should play just this one tiny[5:35:37] clip right now i'd love to see it it's just queued up[5:35:39] yeah it's denney on[5:35:41] cancel because i what i find[5:35:43] and we have more to play from this but just do this[5:35:45] for now so he does these podcasts[5:35:47] for 12[5:35:49] viewers[5:35:51] and again a lot of the thing[5:35:53] especially since covid[5:35:55] sorry i got the hicks[5:35:57] chug water[5:35:59] shut the fuck up oh no[5:36:01] come on not like that i was trying to help[5:36:03] aren't you so afraid of me[5:36:05] yes[5:36:11] i'm going to austin[5:36:13] so fucking awesome[5:36:15] it's such an amazing city[5:36:17] vibrant[5:36:19] wait till you hear about the bugs[5:36:21] so josh denney does[5:36:23] these podcasts for 12 people and you see[5:36:25] he has these other comedians come on[5:36:27] they know no one's watching[5:36:29] they know no one's interacting[5:36:31] but it's a weird thing that's[5:36:33] going on with comedy like they all[5:36:35] know they're so shitty so they're all[5:36:37] pretending[5:36:39] at the same time[5:36:41] so like do a podcast with josh denney and they're like[5:36:43] they also[5:36:45] like the comedian guests[5:36:47] are also pretending that this is real[5:36:49] it's like they have to tell themselves this[5:36:51] in order[5:36:53] to get through the day they're like i don't[5:36:55] have a job i'm not[5:36:57] a comedian i have no fans[5:36:59] but i'm gonna pretend to be a[5:37:01] comedian and talk like it's me[5:37:03] and andrew schultz talking with chris[5:37:05] julia at least they actually[5:37:07] have some work right[5:37:09] they suck but at least they're real[5:37:11] josh denney and these comedians[5:37:13] they talk as if they're[5:37:15] here play this part it perfectly encapsulates[5:37:17] what you're talking about oh good it's queued up[5:37:19] so here he is with some[5:37:23] you know trust me[5:37:25] if i had a knee and a cop's badge[5:37:27] you wouldn't be around[5:37:29] i'm totally kidding come on[5:37:31] that's awful to say to this guy[5:37:33] black guy get a black[5:37:35] guy with any listen to this[5:37:37] and is that might get[5:37:39] him in the door but[5:37:41] pete you're not gonna that that grift[5:37:43] doesn't work twice right like usually[5:37:45] when i go to a city[5:37:47] you know i might start out with a very modest[5:37:49] turnout the first time i do i play a city[5:37:51] but then the next time it's a little[5:37:53] when i go to a city i have a mod[5:37:55] you don't go to a[5:37:57] city[5:37:59] this is what i'm like[5:38:01] starting to lose my mind here this guy[5:38:03] is just making up[5:38:05] a fully fictional life[5:38:07] i mean something needs to[5:38:09] happen[5:38:11] listen to this[5:38:13] grift doesn't work twice right like usually[5:38:15] when i go to a city[5:38:17] you know i might start out with a very modest[5:38:19] turnout the first time i do i play a city[5:38:21] but then the next time it's a little[5:38:23] but then the next time it's a little[5:38:25] bit bigger and the next time it's a little[5:38:27] bit bigger because you know[5:38:29] you're thinking[5:38:31] of another comedian[5:38:33] see these people[5:38:35] listen to podcasts all day and[5:38:37] they go well i want to be a comedian so[5:38:39] i'll just say what the other comedians[5:38:41] i don't think they really know they're[5:38:43] doing this josh[5:38:45] you are not a working[5:38:47] comedian i have[5:38:49] proof i will always have[5:38:51] proof i've had proof i'll[5:38:53] have proof in the future every[5:38:55] show you've ever done i've[5:38:57] sent a spy to[5:38:59] to film it[5:39:01] oh the number one thing[5:39:03] comedians are again if[5:39:05] you're against filming you're afraid[5:39:07] of two things that your material sucks[5:39:09] or that no one was[5:39:11] there[5:39:13] why wouldn't you want your[5:39:15] shit filmed[5:39:17] a real comedian[5:39:19] would not care if his[5:39:21] shit was filming go oh thanks so much for[5:39:23] promoting me i'm isn't aren't i great[5:39:25] you're making me rich[5:39:27] it'd be like me being[5:39:29] mad at the clip channels[5:39:31] listen[5:39:33] i actually think generally[5:39:35] when i do do shows[5:39:37] and i do i play cities[5:39:39] i think i over deliver on how[5:39:41] good people expect me to be i think i[5:39:43] over deliver on how[5:39:45] good people expect and this[5:39:47] guy's not in the why he's no smarter[5:39:49] than lino richie[5:39:51] this is like if lino richie got his head bashed[5:39:53] in with a street bat no this[5:39:55] is a nice guy he[5:39:57] don't know nothing he's the only[5:39:59] of all the podcast denny has been doing the past two[5:40:01] months this is the guy the only guy who gave denny[5:40:03] any sort of pushback whatsoever oh[5:40:05] really yes i have a ton of notes[5:40:07] on it uh what's his name and why isn't[5:40:09] he in jail to be honest i don't know[5:40:11] what's his name and why isn't he dead[5:40:13] no he's a friend and in the comments[5:40:15] someone was like hey don't talk shit[5:40:17] about red bar or something because they bring us up[5:40:19] on this episode and then he goes no[5:40:21] disrespect i don't know yeah but he's one[5:40:23] of these loosey goosey nicey[5:40:25] nicey he's nice[5:40:27] naive[5:40:29] listen to this you know[5:40:31] i actually think generally[5:40:33] when i do do shows[5:40:35] and i do i play cities[5:40:37] i think i over deliver on how good[5:40:39] people expect me to be because i don't have a ton[5:40:41] of stand up material out of there i've got a lot of[5:40:43] podcast and tv show stuff out and everything else[5:40:45] but i don't have a lot of stand up[5:40:47] out there and most of the time when i[5:40:49] talk to people who are seeing me for the first time[5:40:51] they seem pleasantly surprised[5:40:53] like wow you you know you go deep on a lot[5:40:55] of stuff i never even you know every show[5:40:57] he's done has been three[5:40:59] people and this is[5:41:01] what he gets he'll like tell one of his racist[5:41:03] jokes about a slave ship and then you'll[5:41:05] hear one go ah[5:41:07] ha ha ha[5:41:09] some bar hag you're about to hear[5:41:11] it with your own ears yeah and then he'll be like[5:41:13] i killed[5:41:15] also there's a lot of over deliver[5:41:17] uber eats jokes being made in the chat[5:41:19] wait till you hear this[5:41:21] and so um i think[5:41:23] it works the other way with those influencers[5:41:25] you get those instagram people that can sell[5:41:27] you know sell out a[5:41:29] 600 seater or a thousand you know[5:41:31] he'll hear things that like big j[5:41:33] and dan soder are discussing and[5:41:35] he'll adapt them as if he's[5:41:37] going through those things too he'll be like[5:41:39] yeah influencers they[5:41:41] get on stage they do comedy but[5:41:43] they're just not like us who have really[5:41:45] been in the you're not like[5:41:47] us[5:41:49] you're pretending[5:41:51] because you listen all these pockets you're[5:41:53] pretending you're in this scene[5:41:55] with them you were not[5:41:57] part of comedy[5:41:59] cedar because of their following and then[5:42:01] people leave they're pretty disappointed because[5:42:03] like yo i spent 65 bucks[5:42:05] on these tickets and this person[5:42:07] you know you're watching somebody who's like a year[5:42:09] one open miker[5:42:11] i've seen people that were in[5:42:13] movies anyways that's good enough[5:42:15] just wanted to show that part[5:42:17] josh denny when he talks to a stranger[5:42:19] he retells his whole history[5:42:21] as if yeah i'm a pretty big[5:42:23] i mean he really acts like he's one of[5:42:25] these like guys[5:42:27] that like[5:42:29] not a big name but he draws[5:42:31] like a thousand people per show[5:42:33] and he's kind of if you're into comedy[5:42:35] you know him and you come to see him and[5:42:37] uh no you're not one[5:42:39] of them you're just not one of[5:42:41] them[5:42:43] we move[5:42:45] on[5:42:47] to the alex brown tapes[5:42:49] are you ready for[5:42:51] shy verse pry[5:42:55] gotta edit this together[5:42:57] so what is shy[5:42:59] verse pry well i think[5:43:01] it started when we sent spies[5:43:03] out to joey[5:43:05] de rosa's sandwich shop[5:43:07] remember this right isn't[5:43:09] this where it started they elected[5:43:11] to go of their own accord yeah[5:43:13] joey de rosa[5:43:15] joe de rosa from new york[5:43:17] stand up comedian he was on[5:43:19] all the shows[5:43:21] he opened up a sandwich shop it's[5:43:23] covid he can't work comedy anymore he opened[5:43:25] up a sandwich shop doing italian sandwiches[5:43:27] two[5:43:29] spies went out the same day[5:43:31] one reserved[5:43:33] kind of intimidated[5:43:35] scared the other spy[5:43:37] crash[5:43:39] i mean this spy was[5:43:41] too what an[5:43:43] embarrassment i loved him too[5:43:45] bold[5:43:47] ej is one of my favorite guys too bold[5:43:49] so it's funny every time[5:43:51] one of these fools does an event[5:43:53] or a show two[5:43:55] red bar people go[5:43:57] they don't know that the other one is[5:43:59] gone and they're sitting[5:44:01] in the same room not knowing that they're both[5:44:03] spying on the guy[5:44:05] so today[5:44:07] we present you with a[5:44:09] fine episode[5:44:11] of shy verse[5:44:13] pry[5:44:15] shy verse pry[5:44:17] one is shy and one is prying[5:44:19] he's too much one is really[5:44:21] reserved he doesn't really need to be here[5:44:23] the other one is like way too pushy[5:44:25] and he's embarrassing me now i[5:44:27] think in this today's case[5:44:29] there might be some debate over[5:44:31] who is shy and who is pry[5:44:33] yeah so where do we start you gotta[5:44:35] guide me through this i told you i had a sick[5:44:37] week okay so let's start with the[5:44:39] post why wait[5:44:41] do you see all this too by the way[5:44:43] and you should be furious we need[5:44:45] to expose this on a mass level[5:44:47] this is a scam[5:44:49] selling tickets[5:44:51] to a comedy show that nobody comes to that[5:44:53] you don't perform at there's[5:44:55] no lights there's no audio[5:44:57] it's a scam you're telling[5:44:59] people they're coming out for a night of[5:45:01] entertainment wait do you see the night they came out[5:45:03] to all the lights you're on it's not[5:45:05] night like[5:45:07] the grocery store[5:45:09] so if you click this bbg[5:45:11] post i think this is which one beginning i just sent[5:45:13] it to you okay here we go[5:45:15] this is a cute beginning[5:45:19] uh let's see what happens here[5:45:21] a lot to uncover here[5:45:23] alex brown i start with him i read his[5:45:25] little this is one of the spies[5:45:27] alex brown now is he the white spy[5:45:29] yes well what do you mean[5:45:31] yes[5:45:33] see the white spy we had a white vs[5:45:35] brown spy classic[5:45:37] contrast listen to this[5:45:39] alex brown[5:45:41] on march 26th[5:45:43] post this[5:45:45] in the bring back[5:45:47] group[5:45:49] apologies for this in advance but i[5:45:51] bought a ticket to this a couple weeks ago[5:45:53] or so and i'll be honest i've asked a few[5:45:55] people in my life to justify my[5:45:57] attendance none of it makes[5:45:59] sense to them[5:46:01] it is happening in a few hours and i need[5:46:03] motivation to actually[5:46:05] go thanks[5:46:07] so everybody's convincing him[5:46:09] everybody's giving him cute advice[5:46:11] and it's a link to josh denny's[5:46:13] show let's read this[5:46:15] the dojo of comedy[5:46:17] east presents[5:46:19] join us for a night[5:46:21] of laughs tonight[5:46:23] with josh denny[5:46:25] featuring natalie[5:46:27] cumio it's friday[5:46:29] march 26 it's a[5:46:31] socially distant event[5:46:33] doors open at 6 30[5:46:35] show starts you[5:46:37] can't call your shit doors[5:46:39] unless there's a line[5:46:41] doors open[5:46:43] or there's a door that is[5:46:45] open[5:46:47] there is a door that will be[5:46:49] open at 6[5:46:51] 30 that's what you should say[5:46:53] the doors ain't opening[5:46:57] doors open at 6 30[5:46:59] show starts at 7 30[5:47:01] so you're gonna make one guy[5:47:03] wait for an hour limited[5:47:05] seating[5:47:07] limited seating[5:47:09] what do you mean that uh[5:47:11] there's a limit to how many people come[5:47:13] tickets 25 bucks[5:47:15] please arrive early[5:47:17] i gotta tell you everything that's wrong[5:47:19] i ran a comedy club[5:47:21] a really great[5:47:23] successful[5:47:25] bang it i mean[5:47:27] i hated my comedy club[5:47:29] when i was running it i wanted it to be better[5:47:31] if you compare it to what[5:47:33] you're seeing here[5:47:35] and to what the shows these people i mean[5:47:37] really i was putting on like the super bowl[5:47:39] compared to a couple[5:47:41] of mexican spics[5:47:43] kicking around a can of dirt[5:47:47] please arrive early show what you're[5:47:49] not seeing here they want[5:47:51] you to come out they're promising a[5:47:53] night of a ton of laughs[5:47:55] it's 25 bucks[5:47:57] limited seating[5:47:59] you get here early[5:48:01] 6 20[5:48:03] these comics don't[5:48:05] take the stage till 7 30 you get[5:48:07] here early[5:48:09] now this is coming from an event[5:48:11] promoter that has never[5:48:13] sold out an event[5:48:15] it's never been too[5:48:17] packed day[5:48:19] after day week after week[5:48:21] 10 people top show[5:48:23] up and he's telling[5:48:25] motherfuckers you get here early[5:48:27] you come out look at this guy[5:48:29] look at the flyer[5:48:31] this is[5:48:33] called fraud[5:48:35] you're[5:48:37] promising something that[5:48:39] doesn't exist that has never[5:48:41] existed that will[5:48:43] not exist and you're[5:48:45] making people even go out of their way[5:48:47] you're saying please arrive[5:48:49] early so we[5:48:51] could take up more of your valuable[5:48:53] lifetime[5:48:55] okay sure[5:48:59] i should have the right with all these[5:49:01] restrictions and the price i should have a right as[5:49:03] a consumer to comment on[5:49:05] this[5:49:07] which i will so here's[5:49:09] alex brown he says i'm gonna go[5:49:11] but i need some motivation[5:49:13] to go because this sucks i'm not gonna show up[5:49:15] this josh denny show alone[5:49:19] and people have a lot of thoughts[5:49:21] a lot of thoughts so people are giving him tons[5:49:23] of advice he's like guys i don't know if i can[5:49:25] do this and they're like just[5:49:27] get in there quietly record[5:49:29] seeing the venue and seeing[5:49:31] the other people that are there is enough[5:49:33] that'll be enough you don't have to do anything[5:49:35] and he's like okay in that so can we say this[5:49:37] now alex brown is[5:49:39] going to be tonight's shy[5:49:41] okay[5:49:43] shy[5:49:45] spy now we've got another[5:49:47] spy who went to this[5:49:49] concert all by himself[5:49:51] didn't know alex[5:49:53] was going[5:49:55] sat in an almost[5:49:57] 180 degree diagonal[5:49:59] from alex he had alex in the[5:50:01] front he had our other spy[5:50:03] the pry wait[5:50:05] is the other spy the pry? i consider[5:50:07] alex to be the shy even though[5:50:09] he's the louder of the two[5:50:11] i consider him to be the shy because[5:50:13] of how nervous he was at the event[5:50:15] and then i consider anand whom i love[5:50:17] deeply anand is the pry[5:50:19] the pry because he was[5:50:21] secretly watching alex and the whole thing[5:50:23] both[5:50:25] both spies[5:50:27] did not[5:50:29] and i'll say this because i want better[5:50:31] both spies[5:50:33] both spies although they did[5:50:35] bring me and you[5:50:37] so much joy coming up[5:50:39] both spies did not[5:50:41] live up to[5:50:43] mike from red bar's expectations[5:50:45] both spies yep[5:50:47] and i'll tell you why[5:50:49] if you're going to be a spy[5:50:51] you go in there[5:50:53] when they ask you to turn off[5:50:55] your phone you're holding it like this[5:50:57] it's off[5:50:59] and you keep holding it[5:51:01] but that's a lot to ask i think that you can't[5:51:03] i don't think so i think a real[5:51:05] spy never puts[5:51:07] his camera down i said this to cameron[5:51:09] mallick in the 90s[5:51:11] we were on a burger tour[5:51:13] his job was to sit in the passenger[5:51:15] seat and film me ordering[5:51:17] burgers from fast food[5:51:19] drive throughs[5:51:21] and we would go he'd get[5:51:23] intimidated put the phone down[5:51:25] i immediately said whatever[5:51:27] happens never[5:51:29] put the camera[5:51:31] down it doesn't[5:51:33] matter if they say are you filming[5:51:35] you say no[5:51:37] no i'm not a real[5:51:39] spy never[5:51:41] folds he always[5:51:43] makes it we've got both spies[5:51:45] they put their cameras down out of fear in this[5:51:47] but this is their first[5:51:49] it doesn't matter spy report[5:51:51] well then you're not ready to be a spy[5:51:53] you gotta go out and i feel like anyone who's willing[5:51:55] to do this is the greatest[5:51:57] spy ever in my eyes hey listen[5:51:59] and that's why i said this brings us much[5:52:01] joy i've developed[5:52:03] a story i've weaved a story out[5:52:05] of both your[5:52:07] insane reports[5:52:09] if you're gonna be a spy go just[5:52:11] know these people are lower than you[5:52:13] you have no fear[5:52:15] josh denny yelling at you on the stage[5:52:17] don't be afraid you[5:52:19] keep filming they can't do anything[5:52:21] about it there's no law[5:52:23] you hold that camera you[5:52:25] go you're gonna have to break my[5:52:27] wrist[5:52:29] for me to stop filming and you[5:52:31] hold that camera i don't care if you gotta glue[5:52:33] it with sticks[5:52:35] alright where do we go from here[5:52:37] where do we go right now first we should[5:52:39] check out alex's tape[5:52:41] let's check out alex's tape now[5:52:43] this is the shy[5:52:45] yes let's look at[5:52:47] alex's tape it's[5:52:49] the oh this is a good one[5:52:51] it's the josh denny[5:52:53] spy report and he made it into a little[5:52:55] vlog which i really like[5:52:57] spy report josh[5:52:59] is the title it's got 46[5:53:01] views it's unlisted you shove[5:53:03] this to 46 people[5:53:07] he was very nervous about[5:53:09] getting it right he did great both[5:53:11] spies did great[5:53:13] but[5:53:15] you gotta be better[5:53:17] here's the spy[5:53:19] vlog we'll start here[5:53:21] enjoy[5:53:23] we're driving down a[5:53:25] disgusting jersey high[5:53:31] look at that[5:53:33] beautiful neighborhood[5:53:35] there's no leaves on the trees[5:53:37] means it's cold[5:53:39] pulling into the parking[5:53:41] spot now i like this[5:53:43] feature[5:53:45] look at this he's doing dissolves[5:53:47] we're[5:53:49] outside this is where comedy takes[5:53:51] place by the way and this is what i want[5:53:53] people to know[5:53:55] because you keep hearing oh i'm doing comedy i'm doing[5:53:57] comedy i'm doing this and again[5:53:59] are you thinking of mark norman[5:54:01] special[5:54:03] even like you legion of skanks fans[5:54:05] you've seen like dave smith's special[5:54:07] and louis's special[5:54:09] don't you imagine comedy is[5:54:11] at least that[5:54:13] right yes it's in a[5:54:15] like when you talk to somebody who's[5:54:17] never been to a comedy show they expect it[5:54:19] to be like what they're seeing on like netflix[5:54:21] i remember when i went to[5:54:23] my first ever comedy show[5:54:25] and it was in a room that had that[5:54:27] ceiling like a school where you could push up[5:54:29] the squares yeah yikes[5:54:31] the tiles couldn't believe it[5:54:33] couldn't believe it[5:54:35] so this is what's really going on[5:54:37] ninety percent of the time[5:54:39] this is what your comedians aren't telling you[5:54:41] while they try to make you think they're[5:54:43] out busting their humps[5:54:45] watch this[5:54:49] look at this shithole[5:54:53] there it is[5:54:55] tiffs[5:54:57] they're going to tiffs[5:54:59] so it's not even a real comedy[5:55:01] club it's just some restaurant[5:55:03] they rent it out[5:55:05] this is very typical[5:55:07] he's walking up to[5:55:09] tiffs[5:55:13] you know and you've got all these[5:55:15] terrible restaurants you get all these[5:55:17] terrible bars you'd have to live in[5:55:19] a city with a population under six[5:55:21] thousand to not[5:55:23] find a shithole[5:55:25] to do comedy in[5:55:27] so don't give a place credit[5:55:29] just because it's a place[5:55:31] you know you go to these restaurants they got[5:55:33] two customers that are[5:55:35] yeah they'll let you do comedy upstairs[5:55:37] they got nothing to lose[5:55:39] and these restaurants[5:55:41] these shithole bars[5:55:43] they let these comedians[5:55:45] it's usually always a comedian who can't get any[5:55:47] work himself puts on these shows[5:55:49] they go oh[5:55:51] we'll have a hundred people because you see they[5:55:53] set up chairs for about a hundred people[5:55:55] oh there'll be a hundred people here[5:55:57] we'll all be drinking and eating[5:55:59] and in return we keep the comedy[5:56:01] club going[5:56:03] and in return we keep the comedy club[5:56:05] admission ticket fair deal[5:56:07] and the restaurants[5:56:09] oh this is great we got nothing going on[5:56:11] Thursday what a great thing[5:56:13] we'll have a hundred more people[5:56:15] here eating and drinking[5:56:17] that never happens[5:56:19] but the restaurants never care because[5:56:21] even if they bring two people[5:56:23] it's two more people[5:56:25] than would have been at this shithole[5:56:27] to begin with so that's why[5:56:29] this keeps happening[5:56:31] yeah[5:56:37] hey do you work here?[5:56:39] okay so the guys like checking in you know there's[5:56:41] no staff anywhere[5:56:43] so you walk into a[5:56:45] restaurant imagine you buy a $25[5:56:47] ticket for this real comedy[5:56:49] show they're telling you it's going to be the world[5:56:51] right oh the best[5:56:53] show a night of laughs come on out[5:56:55] and then you[5:56:57] show up imagine you show up you walk[5:56:59] in to a restaurant there's no one there all the[5:57:01] lights are on you can't[5:57:03] figure out what to do[5:57:07] oh okay never mind[5:57:11] look at this[5:57:13] we gotta pause on that[5:57:19] oh so[5:57:21] this hold on let's see if I can get[5:57:23] a better pause[5:57:25] ah[5:57:29] you see it kinda[5:57:31] this is the room imagine showing up[5:57:33] as a customer you show up to a completely[5:57:35] lit[5:57:37] house lights are on[5:57:39] yeah completely[5:57:41] lit room[5:57:43] tables and seating for about[5:57:45] 100 people but there's nobody sitting[5:57:47] there so you walk in[5:57:49] there's five minutes till show time[5:57:51] and you walk into a brightly[5:57:53] lit room no[5:57:55] one's there[5:57:57] right here this one[5:57:59] can I move here[5:58:05] watch this you're gonna love this stuff[5:58:17] what we're seeing here is like a makeshift[5:58:19] stage with some curtain-ery[5:58:21] and you've got some guy testing[5:58:23] the mic as two[5:58:25] people file in to sit in the[5:58:27] empty brightly lit[5:58:29] room[5:58:35] wow here it is[5:58:37] look at that[5:58:39] so imagine you think like[5:58:41] you're gonna go out and[5:58:43] at the very least it's gonna be like the opening[5:58:45] of Seinfeld[5:58:47] where it's a dark room[5:58:49] a spotlight on the guy[5:58:51] surely he just[5:58:53] got there really early and he's just waiting for[5:58:55] the rest of the crowd and they're gonna turn the lights down[5:58:57] and stuff when the show starts he must be[5:58:59] mistaken well maybe[5:59:01] so let's find out what happened[5:59:03] you got a completely empty room[5:59:05] one guy all the way in the[5:59:07] back and then some schlub[5:59:09] is that the other spy[5:59:11] that could be the other spy[5:59:13] it could be while we're talking about him[5:59:15] I just want to say I love that guy he's one of[5:59:17] my favorite BBG members[5:59:19] well let's see what happens[5:59:27] look at this[5:59:29] I thought I might as well come[5:59:31] how about you?[5:59:33] he's talking to someone[5:59:35] alright sounds good[5:59:37] alright[5:59:43] look at this[5:59:45] in the mood[5:59:49] that was him so the only people[5:59:51] in this show are two red bar[5:59:53] spies who do not know each[5:59:55] other we have video[5:59:57] proof[5:59:59] how fucking pathetic is this[6:00:03] look at this[6:00:05] this was a show they promoted[6:00:07] for one month[6:00:09] you know how local he is?[6:00:11] here we go[6:00:13] he does a[6:00:15] Uncle Vinny's[6:00:19] so we're just seeing a lag[6:00:21] we're hearing some convo[6:00:29] okay so somebody in the background I guess said[6:00:31] more are coming[6:00:33] they're not[6:00:37] and this is so typical with[6:00:39] comedy shows you know they always have an excuse[6:00:41] oh you know[6:00:43] last week was sold out oh yeah[6:00:45] there's probably more people coming[6:00:47] oh it's COVID oh[6:00:49] there was a basketball game[6:00:51] tonight[6:00:53] and the restaurant's like you know what[6:00:55] it's an upstairs room it's not being[6:00:57] used who the fuck cares[6:00:59] we sold $6[6:01:01] more coke[6:01:03] so who cares[6:01:05] but this is what[6:01:07] 90% of your comedy shows[6:01:09] are like[6:01:11] now they're Kiva[6:01:13] have you been to one?[6:01:17] I'm gonna puke[6:01:27] wait have you been to a Joey Dea[6:01:29] show?[6:01:31] just some bullshit talk[6:01:35] listen to this[6:01:39] you think it's gonna be like this?[6:01:41] why do you think it's gonna be fucking[6:01:43] empty?[6:01:45] so he's talking to some guy who works there[6:01:47] you think it's gonna be empty?[6:01:49] he goes yeah probably he goes[6:01:51] why do you think it's gonna be like this?[6:01:55] you think it's gonna be[6:01:57] empty tonight?[6:01:59] I don't know[6:02:01] he said it's 30 minutes past[6:02:03] he said it's 30 minutes past[6:02:05] Showtime and this is what we got[6:02:07] wait I didn't know that[6:02:09] it's 30 minutes[6:02:11] so they said get here at 6 30[6:02:13] in fact get here early[6:02:15] the show starts at 7[6:02:17] 30 doors open at[6:02:19] 6 30 get here early[6:02:21] we're at[6:02:23] 8 pm right now[6:02:25] we're at 8 pm[6:02:27] there are[6:02:29] two people at[6:02:31] the show both[6:02:33] from red bar[6:02:35] he goes[6:02:37] do you think it's gonna be empty?[6:02:39] yeah we're 30 minutes past showtime[6:02:41] now at that point here's what you do[6:02:43] you say the show is[6:02:45] cancelled[6:02:47] I understand you solo[6:02:49] man bought a ticket[6:02:51] here's your money back personally because[6:02:53] it's only one guy[6:02:55] we're really sorry about this[6:02:57] goodnight and then everyone[6:02:59] goes home[6:03:01] but no these comedians[6:03:03] put on the show[6:03:05] for the two red bar[6:03:07] spies[6:03:09] only[6:03:11] that's not and you know they'll be like[6:03:13] yeah dude you gotta go through the trenches[6:03:15] some days you get[6:03:17] no no no[6:03:19] that works for real comics[6:03:21] like Louis C.K. who one day[6:03:23] did a shitty show for 50 people[6:03:25] and then the next[6:03:27] day usually does a show[6:03:29] for a thousand[6:03:31] it doesn't work when all of your shows[6:03:33] have no audience[6:03:35] okay?[6:03:37] that means you're crazy[6:03:45] oh wow[6:03:47] so I guess is this the host?[6:03:49] we've cut to just a guy[6:03:51] there is no lighting change[6:03:53] so imagine that you're paying 25[6:03:55] what is the 25 going to?[6:03:57] you know[6:03:59] I ran a comedy club[6:04:01] it was the biggest event in the city[6:04:03] I mean it was like going to the Bulls game[6:04:05] as far as production goes[6:04:07] we charged $10[6:04:09] a ticket[6:04:11] I wanted to make[6:04:13] no drink minimum[6:04:15] $10 a ticket I said I want to make[6:04:17] comedy something that people[6:04:19] could always do[6:04:21] they laughed at me[6:04:23] they're charging $25 a ticket[6:04:25] they have no lighting[6:04:27] no music[6:04:29] it's a pure blank[6:04:31] white room with the house lights on[6:04:33] and again the only thing[6:04:35] that makes this the comedy[6:04:37] dojo is that they have[6:04:39] from West Elm[6:04:41] some room dividing screen[6:04:43] that kind of looks[6:04:45] Japanese[6:04:47] okay?[6:04:49] that's it[6:04:51] so they go oh look at this[6:04:53] it has a Japanese screen so this could be like[6:04:55] the comedy dojo[6:04:57] they spent more on this sign than anything else[6:04:59] so it's a[6:05:01] brightly lit white room[6:05:03] I wouldn't wish this room on my[6:05:05] worst funeral[6:05:07] if my grandpa died and they said no one[6:05:09] has the money for the funeral[6:05:11] so we're holding it here I'd say I'm not attending[6:05:13] this room is too white[6:05:15] it's too plain[6:05:17] for me to be in[6:05:19] that's like a thing[6:05:21] this room that they're doing comedy and charging[6:05:23] $25 tickets is so plain[6:05:25] that I wouldn't show up[6:05:27] there if they were giving[6:05:29] away $250[6:05:31] tickets to people[6:05:33] it was just money[6:05:35] I'd say the room is too[6:05:37] plain[6:05:39] I'm not going there for any reason[6:05:41] I can't stop thinking about Gino[6:05:43] and Denny scrambling over[6:05:45] Alex's $25 bill[6:05:47] yes and they've got a split pad[6:05:49] we've only had one paid[6:05:51] ticket two red bar[6:05:53] listeners one of them got for free[6:05:55] there was only one[6:05:57] paid audience[6:05:59] member of this entire night[6:06:01] Alex Brown $25[6:06:03] everyone else got[6:06:05] for free the rest are comedians[6:06:07] and staff we're not kidding[6:06:09] watch this[6:06:11] we're digging up truth about[6:06:13] and comedians[6:06:15] comedians if we're[6:06:17] suspicious of you[6:06:19] we will be sending spies[6:06:21] to all of your shows taping the whole[6:06:23] thing we will be broadcasting[6:06:25] your entire show[6:06:27] so word of advice[6:06:29] to comedians you better[6:06:31] put on a real show[6:06:33] or you're being[6:06:35] covered[6:06:37] when we see lighting when we see production[6:06:39] value when we see huge crowds[6:06:41] dying at your jokes then we won't[6:06:43] we're releasing your sets[6:06:45] we're blowing your content[6:06:47] we're burning your stuff[6:06:49] because they're not even doing their content[6:06:51] in these videos they're just literally[6:06:53] talking to one guy and it's so worthless that if Josh Denny[6:06:55] tried to sue us you could convince[6:06:57] the judge that he's not losing a dime[6:06:59] from us playing[6:07:01] this[6:07:03] I'd show up to the courtroom naked[6:07:05] and win[6:07:07] we're myth busters[6:07:09] we're myth busters that's what we did[6:07:11] there were no gas chambers I'm not saying that no one[6:07:13] died maybe 400,000[6:07:15] that's okay though[6:07:17] right[6:07:19] alright do we skip[6:07:21] around from here that's the host[6:07:23] of the comedy[6:07:25] show there's two people[6:07:27] in attendance[6:07:29] again they're both[6:07:31] red bar spies[6:07:33] and the host is now talking to the two[6:07:35] I think five minutes in[6:07:37] our shy[6:07:39] starts getting a little chatty with[6:07:41] everybody if I remember correctly[6:07:43] here's the thing with our shy tonight[6:07:45] who is Alex Brown[6:07:47] here's what we think happened I think Alex[6:07:49] Brown is not used to drinking[6:07:51] and what happens[6:07:53] to a lot of our spies is they[6:07:55] go to comedy shows and they're made to[6:07:57] wait for an hour and a half right[6:07:59] so they sit there alone[6:08:01] nervous drinking[6:08:03] and they're not used to drinking[6:08:05] and they have like four drinks[6:08:07] even if you're used to drinking sitting there alone[6:08:09] that would happen to me[6:08:11] yeah me too I mean you guys[6:08:13] see me I drink drink drink if I[6:08:15] did this in a blank[6:08:17] white room I'd be toast[6:08:19] so you see these guys that go I'll[6:08:21] do a spy report then they're made to wait[6:08:23] for two hours they've had four drinks[6:08:25] by the time the show starts they're like[6:08:27] this[6:08:29] and they're sitting there watching like a[6:08:31] guy that they've watched on red bar for[6:08:33] six years I mean it's a lot[6:08:35] for them[6:08:37] so five minutes in let's see what happens[6:08:39] here[6:08:51] look at this[6:08:53] what is this[6:08:55] so you hear the shy[6:08:57] our shy is in the[6:08:59] front row he's in the front table he's[6:09:01] filming this comic now[6:09:03] and there's a bunch of mumbling and then[6:09:05] you hear our shy say[6:09:07] is there any way I could get some[6:09:09] food[6:09:11] to the comic[6:09:13] during the show now people are saying[6:09:15] how is this the shy I said it's[6:09:17] up for debate I know it really[6:09:19] is you'll see later you'll[6:09:21] see[6:09:29] is there any way I could get some food[6:09:31] yeah[6:09:37] thanks so much whatever Alex gets[6:09:39] could you just get that for me too[6:09:41] okay I'm not serious[6:09:43] and it's so ackaway don't think it's no less[6:09:45] ackaway in the room itself I mean[6:09:47] this is[6:09:49] a blank[6:09:51] white giant opening[6:09:53] of a space like one[6:09:55] guy shouldn't be able to[6:09:57] take over the entire room[6:09:59] when he's not one of the comics[6:10:01] just by saying could I get some food and the[6:10:03] whole show stops[6:10:05] you could hear it as loud as the comic[6:10:19] who's Mike[6:10:21] so you can see the shy is[6:10:23] you know he's doing some screwball[6:10:25] shit here this is some nice cinematography[6:10:27] to really get inside his anxiety[6:10:29] well the shy it looks like and I'll know[6:10:31] this is how I know the guys are shy[6:10:33] you know what he ordered here[6:10:35] a vodka[6:10:37] tonic[6:10:39] how do you know it's not a gin and tonic[6:10:41] well it could be[6:10:43] it's a tonic[6:10:45] it's what you order when you have no[6:10:47] fucking idea what to order[6:10:49] do you really think that because I order a gin and tonic[6:10:51] a lot and then I always think that they think[6:10:53] I'm like underage or something[6:10:55] cause that's like a weird nervous[6:10:57] I think it could be a bit different for a girl[6:10:59] but this guy I don't think[6:11:01] he drinks I think he ordered a vodka[6:11:03] tonic I think he's probably on his second[6:11:05] or third by the time the show[6:11:07] starts and it's getting to him[6:11:09] it's getting him loopy[6:11:11] and you could[6:11:13] tell I'll never drink he's squeezing a[6:11:15] lime out into that tonic[6:11:17] right now to give it a little boost[6:11:19] not for me I hate[6:11:21] vodka tonics now[6:11:23] let's see what happens[6:11:25] next they're saying it's tequila[6:11:27] oh wow[6:11:29] cheers[6:11:39] I don't know I think he's trying to[6:11:41] I want to show you guys something[6:11:43] hold on maybe not the best[6:11:47] am I weird[6:11:49] yeah[6:11:51] do you guys think of me as a[6:11:53] weirdo or a regular[6:11:55] look at this[6:11:57] we are[6:11:59] 6 hours[6:12:01] in 11 minutes[6:12:03] into the show and I've got[6:12:05] some pretty cool news[6:12:07] you don't even know what it's gonna be[6:12:09] no I'm terrified[6:12:11] at the beginning of the show we mixed[6:12:13] 3 whiskeys into one[6:12:15] decanter[6:12:17] it's undone it's not done[6:12:19] a whiskey scene[6:12:21] we're 6 hours in[6:12:27] do you guys see any problems with mixing 3 whiskeys[6:12:29] because I don't[6:12:31] it's been[6:12:33] the exact same[6:12:35] the exact same one man yelling[6:12:37] for 6 hours the same way he[6:12:39] yelled when it was a single[6:12:41] scotch argue with that[6:12:43] argue with that this whiskey thing that[6:12:45] you're all on you're all cuckoo[6:12:47] alright do we keep playing from here[6:12:49] yeah I mean this is basically[6:12:51] just the yeah[6:12:53] you could go to[6:12:55] ok let's check it out[6:12:59] cause Alex like the comic was saying[6:13:01] something and Alex is like what are you talking about[6:13:03] can you explain that[6:13:05] so Alex is crazy you'd think he's[6:13:07] the pride I love him though[6:13:15] this is the show[6:13:19] this is the show[6:13:25] I feel like a[6:13:27] there shouldn't be like[6:13:29] a consumer grade Home Depot[6:13:31] vent[6:13:33] plate in your[6:13:35] comedy club you know like[6:13:37] is this even something that should be[6:13:39] in a business[6:13:41] really I mean this is something you get off the rack[6:13:43] at Home Depot for your little bathroom[6:13:47] it's not right[6:13:49] alright we keep playing from here[6:13:51] um yeah[6:13:53] yeah Gino's about to come on I think[6:13:55] Gino Bisconti is about to come on he was[6:13:57] the middler or you could skip to[6:13:59] 8.30 for Gino I think[6:14:01] let's see Gino's appearance[6:14:03] or like 8.20 cause[6:14:05] I didn't firm up these votes I just read[6:14:07] now I like to think of this as a Josh Denny[6:14:09] tape but we got a bonus Josh Denny[6:14:11] and Gino my other huge[6:14:13] enemy did a show together[6:14:15] dude you're coming up to[6:14:17] church cause Josh Denny was on[6:14:19] Kumiya no joke[6:14:21] I know we have that too[6:14:23] yeah yeah yeah[6:14:25] Josh Denny flew out to New York[6:14:27] pretending that he's doing shows[6:14:29] and doing Kumi he did Kumi he[6:14:31] barely said a word we barely have any[6:14:33] clips cause he just sat there[6:14:35] and then uh[6:14:37] yes all of our clips are to show how little chemistry[6:14:39] they had I can see Gino going[6:14:41] dude come out of the show that I'm doing[6:14:43] it's gonna be awesome[6:14:45] Josh comes along tells all his[6:14:47] followers oh I got this amazing show coming up[6:14:50] so here's Gino everybody[6:14:52] let's see how amazing he is[6:15:00] look at this show[6:15:02] this is the show[6:15:10] and I talked to a hearing expert he said[6:15:12] this is exactly how it sounded there[6:15:14] imagine you're[6:15:16] just here and there's this guy mumbling[6:15:18] into the mic yes that's something also to be[6:15:20] noted that we didn't really hammer home[6:15:22] it's not just that Denny couldn't get anyone[6:15:24] to show up to this but the combo[6:15:26] of Denny and Gino[6:15:28] and some girl and this host[6:15:30] yes five comics total[6:15:32] like at least this host could have two friends in town[6:15:34] wait wait wait it's even more than that[6:15:36] five comedian people total[6:15:38] you have the venue[6:15:40] which is an entity[6:15:42] and then you have the comedy[6:15:44] dojo which is an entity[6:15:46] so two entities[6:15:48] and five humans[6:15:50] could only get[6:15:52] two red bar[6:15:54] spies out[6:15:56] within a month[6:15:58] technically if you think about it[6:16:00] Denny is actually doing better than[6:16:02] Gino because at least he has the hate[6:16:04] watchers showing up[6:16:06] without Denny being attached[6:16:08] Ron Bennington's attached[6:16:10] without Denny being attached this show would have[6:16:12] zero audience members and they'd[6:16:14] perform for just[6:16:16] the waitress[6:16:18] that's crazy[6:16:20] this should not[6:16:22] and these comics want you to believe[6:16:24] oh that's comedy[6:16:26] it's not how it is[6:16:28] if I ever had a show like this in my history[6:16:30] of putting on comedy shows and I've put on[6:16:32] hundreds I'd kill[6:16:34] myself I'd literally kill[6:16:36] I'd be so humiliated[6:16:38] I couldn't even imagine[6:16:40] I could[6:16:42] not even imagine having a turnout[6:16:44] like this I mean it's like so I[6:16:46] yelled to the whole world and two people[6:16:48] that are actually spies just[6:16:50] came I mean what the[6:16:52] fuck everyone[6:16:54] else said no they just decided[6:16:56] nope[6:16:58] that's so[6:17:00] degradingly[6:17:02] bad and[6:17:04] it should not be laughed at and again[6:17:06] if you're one of these comedians and[6:17:08] there's two people in the audience[6:17:10] and you already know that they're[6:17:12] spies[6:17:14] why are you performing for them[6:17:16] that's not admirable[6:17:18] it's pathetic[6:17:22] here's Gino[6:17:32] this is his intro[6:17:40] listen to this[6:17:42] that's the intro[6:17:48] why why are you[6:17:50] doing this I mean we really gotta shake[6:17:52] these people out of their fucking coma here[6:17:54] why are you doing this[6:17:56] this is insane[6:17:58] it's not funny it's not cute you're 50 years old[6:18:02] look at this[6:18:06] he's chugging booze[6:18:08] he took a drink out of Alex's drink[6:18:10] yeah wow[6:18:14] look at this[6:18:16] listen to this show[6:18:18] and listen to the sounds you hear[6:18:20] this is the[6:18:22] imagine you're on the[6:18:24] you go to watch Jay Leno live[6:18:26] coming up here[6:18:28] good night here today[6:18:30] we got[6:18:32] Kevin Smith[6:18:34] here today[6:18:36] Kevin Smith come on by[6:18:38] and then instead of the band you heard[6:18:48] it's crazy[6:18:50] it's crazy[6:18:52] I mean really we gotta stop ourselves[6:18:54] we gotta think how is this happening[6:18:56] would your dad be involved in something[6:18:58] this is an introduction[6:19:00] listen to this[6:19:06] 50 years old[6:19:08] Geno is[6:19:18] he's actually going into material you could hear him[6:19:20] imagine doing that for who[6:19:22] one guy sitting there and another guy in the back[6:19:26] can't you have some respect[6:19:28] and go guys this isn't[6:19:30] we're really sorry[6:19:32] did you buy a ticket here give him the 25[6:19:34] good night guys sorry about this[6:19:36] we're really sorry that's what you do[6:19:38] you don't continue on[6:19:40] and make them sit there for 3 hours[6:19:42] so[6:19:44] people[6:19:46] this is the part of the comedy[6:19:48] it's the dark underbelly and I can say dark underbelly[6:19:50] cause there's none here but it's the part[6:19:52] look at this[6:19:54] thank you[6:19:56] there's a full 15 minute set to no one[6:19:58] to no one[6:20:00] is this practicing[6:20:02] is this cool this is what Louis is doing[6:20:04] it's not[6:20:06] they would go home[6:20:08] you can hear their jokes here also[6:20:10] besides all of our other complaints[6:20:12] want to hear their amazing material[6:20:14] somebody said Geno killed[6:20:16] it's a joke about colors[6:20:18] they're not here[6:20:20] it's NBA season[6:20:22] this is where[6:20:24] you don't need people laughing[6:20:26] this is where you get your legs underneath you[6:20:28] did you pay for this[6:20:30] I don't fucking know[6:20:32] I'm sure they're all picking on the pry[6:20:34] why? cause he's the only guy[6:20:36] see[6:20:38] every comedian is picking on the pry[6:20:40] look we got a POV to the pry's[6:20:42] eyes[6:20:44] and the pry's eyes see[6:20:46] the red bar pry's[6:20:48] which is the Geno[6:20:50] and they all talk to the pry[6:20:52] and it's like well yeah[6:20:54] who else are you gonna talk to[6:20:56] you know stop talking to our pry's[6:20:58] and there's no laughs[6:21:00] listen to this[6:21:02] wait no there is one guy[6:21:04] is using the echo to create like[6:21:06] thirty laughs so if you hear[6:21:08] it's one guy[6:21:10] who's also a comic[6:21:12] who's filling this room with fraudulent[6:21:14] laugh yes and you might hear[6:21:16] other voices here but I just wanted people[6:21:18] to know we're not exaggerating that the[6:21:20] only two guests[6:21:22] yeah we'll show you a picture[6:21:24] are two spies every single other person is a[6:21:26] comic waiting to go on stage or an[6:21:28] employee of the bar[6:21:30] in total there might have been six[6:21:32] full people there[6:21:34] two of[6:21:36] the customers were red[6:21:38] bar spies the rest were[6:21:40] comedians and staff we've gone over this[6:21:42] we'll show you every angle[6:21:44] it's unacceptable[6:21:46] you know and he gave it to me and I took some[6:21:48] cause I have like fun[6:21:50] I have no fun[6:21:52] when we wheeled up here in a chair[6:21:54] how you doing guys back on the phone[6:21:56] drinking the light beer?[6:21:58] look at this[6:22:02] tell you what I don't drink now[6:22:04] that's tequila I drink whiskey[6:22:06] my dad used to have three drinks at breakfast[6:22:08] boy could mom take a punch am I right?[6:22:10] good answer[6:22:12] whenever I see a woman bleeding I want pancakes[6:22:14] okay so[6:22:16] I mean[6:22:18] there is no[6:22:20] I mean[6:22:22] there is no world[6:22:24] where this is an okay activity[6:22:26] there's just no world[6:22:28] the fact that they can even show their faces[6:22:30] and they think this is[6:22:32] oh you think this is embarrassing me[6:22:34] I'm not doing[6:22:36] comedy you're not doing[6:22:38] comedy[6:22:40] I mean[6:22:42] literally I could go into the uh[6:22:44] basement[6:22:46] of my house and start[6:22:48] yelling at the sump pump I'm not hosting the[6:22:50] night show[6:22:52] this has to stop[6:23:14] and here's the deal Gino[6:23:16] cause he's claiming he's[6:23:18] not embarrassed[6:23:20] I posted this on my Instagram story[6:23:22] he responded with his patented[6:23:24] laugh cry face[6:23:26] I'm not kidding[6:23:28] of course[6:23:30] ow my eyes from the dust[6:23:32] this isn't something to laugh[6:23:34] off this is like[6:23:36] really bad[6:23:38] this is really pathetic[6:23:40] you can't laugh[6:23:42] this off there's no[6:23:44] oh red mouse is an idiot[6:23:46] you're in the white[6:23:48] room you're alone[6:23:50] you have one red bar spy watching[6:23:52] you perform for him[6:23:54] you're a total and utter[6:23:56] fool[6:23:58] there is no[6:24:00] debate lower it doesn't[6:24:02] get any lower than this[6:24:04] it doesn't get any shittier or[6:24:06] stupider I feel like you should[6:24:08] be prosecuted for[6:24:10] being this stupid[6:24:12] really what are you doing I have[6:24:14] no idea[6:24:20] people know I did the Sam[6:24:22] Triple E Tears in Heaven song cause[6:24:24] what's his name lost his[6:24:26] son the singer there Eric Clapton[6:24:28] lost his son his son died[6:24:30] just thinking about that[6:24:32] well that's why I did it you know[6:24:34] Eric Clapton[6:24:36] lost his son he made that song[6:24:38] about him Tears in Heaven[6:24:40] it was about his son who died he fell out the window[6:24:42] of course[6:24:44] that's why I did that about Sam Triple[6:24:46] E it's like your kids are so[6:24:48] stupid[6:24:50] are they gonna die[6:24:52] and you're gonna like[6:24:54] and you're so stupid[6:24:56] I just want people to know that I was[6:24:58] thinking about that song Tears in Heaven[6:25:00] for Sam's[6:25:02] what do we call those kids[6:25:04] those kids are bonkers[6:25:06] man what do we call them[6:25:08] they're[6:25:10] they're like[6:25:12] they're like[6:25:14] Mexican jumping beans they're like[6:25:16] silly putty[6:25:18] they remind me of like a[6:25:20] 50's toy[6:25:22] they're so stupid[6:25:24] well that's a little advanced[6:25:26] that Tamagotchi had a lot more computing[6:25:28] power than Sam's kids trust me on that[6:25:30] I hate Sam's kids man[6:25:32] I hate Sam's club[6:25:34] I hate Sam's kids[6:25:36] I hate[6:25:38] Sam from True Blood[6:25:40] who else[6:25:42] Fantastic Sam's the barber[6:25:44] Sam is a cheap[6:25:46] fucking run down low[6:25:48] life fucking guy[6:25:50] Samantha Jeffries[6:25:52] what is her name Samantha[6:25:54] there's a girl[6:25:56] named Samantha you should listen to this show[6:25:58] there's fucking white trash too[6:26:00] alright so let's hear a little bit more[6:26:02] Gino and then we'll get into the main event[6:26:04] Josh Deny and he gets in a little[6:26:06] fight with our pry[6:26:08] which is gonna get good right[6:26:10] you keep playing here[6:26:12] yeah[6:26:14] here's Gino[6:26:16] I mean if you want to see more Gino's[6:26:18] jokes keep playing no I mean it really is[6:26:20] is painful I mean watching Gino[6:26:22] speak is really I mean[6:26:24] it's the worst part[6:26:26] of my job it really is[6:26:28] to watch Gino speak[6:26:30] you can't follow it[6:26:32] it's just yelling[6:26:34] but he does interact with the pry a little more[6:26:36] but it's basically just the same as[6:26:38] so the pry is in the front[6:26:40] row and the shy[6:26:42] is in the back but I only[6:26:44] think the shy is the shy it'd be great[6:26:46] if one of them could call in[6:26:48] I think the shy was the shy[6:26:50] cause he saw the pry being the pry now did the[6:26:52] shy know the pry was there did the[6:26:54] pry know the shy oh he did[6:26:56] Anand went up to[6:26:58] Alex the guy who were watching[6:27:00] his tape right now he's saying that he[6:27:02] went up to him before the show and just showed him[6:27:04] that he was watching his live stream[6:27:06] and was like so they knew[6:27:08] that's insane[6:27:10] but they didn't know each other was coming and they got[6:27:12] there and they go dude[6:27:14] and he showed him his phone and he goes[6:27:16] oh dude for real[6:27:18] I'll be proud you'll be shy[6:27:20] you see in the back I'll say that[6:27:22] so Denny like you'll see Denny and Gino[6:27:24] yelling at this fake[6:27:26] spy but we got a real[6:27:28] spy filming everything in the back that you were[6:27:30] unaware of you fucking idiot[6:27:32] this spy was basically like a decoy[6:27:34] a decoy spy everywhere[6:27:36] you go we got 8 spies[6:27:38] we got so many spies and now that you're[6:27:40] looking for 2 spies both those[6:27:42] spies will be a decoy yeah[6:27:44] maybe everyone there is a spy[6:27:46] this is great[6:27:48] this is what comedy[6:27:50] did you have a question[6:27:52] guy in the back or you just want to yell[6:27:54] Allah and explode okay[6:27:56] I think[6:27:58] that's a great threat[6:28:00] you want to do comedy[6:28:02] we're filming your[6:28:04] sets[6:28:06] their worst nightmare[6:28:08] yup we're filming your[6:28:10] sets get a legal[6:28:12] whatever[6:28:14] we're filming your fucking sets[6:28:16] that was smart[6:28:18] that was smart[6:28:20] and by the way[6:28:22] we had an Indian spy and a white[6:28:24] spy in the same room[6:28:26] woo[6:28:28] Xander made an amazing meme[6:28:30] oh did he let's see it[6:28:32] let's see it[6:28:34] let's see it[6:28:36] I'm so sick[6:28:38] Gino looks pissed[6:28:40] he's not I mean he[6:28:42] really I don't think we could even get to him[6:28:44] he's untouchable[6:28:46] he's so lost the only thing we could[6:28:48] hold out for is his death[6:28:50] which will happen under[6:28:52] our watch it's really the only[6:28:54] payback that we're ever going to get[6:28:56] is when he actually dies[6:28:58] and we go told you told[6:29:00] you all right what do we got a meme[6:29:02] here I'm gonna let Xander post in the[6:29:04] BBG because I just saw all right so where do I skip[6:29:06] add here you can[6:29:08] go to should we go to where Danny[6:29:10] should we go to where Danny comes out[6:29:12] let's go to 1830[6:29:14] 1830 I remember[6:29:16] that year specifically I killed[6:29:18] a witch I beat up a guy[6:29:20] in an alley there in London[6:29:22] 1830[6:29:28] was everyone in London back then[6:29:32] you've been on the N train not the N word train[6:29:34] that's the bus boy[6:29:40] this is what gets me about to be[6:29:42] oh I want really clever[6:29:44] that's the jokes that make you laugh[6:29:46] let me explain the N word train[6:29:48] it's the bus he'll go home and go I killed[6:29:50] I killed[6:29:52] that's what he thinks because[6:29:54] one drunk loser[6:29:56] is gone[6:29:58] in this empty[6:30:00] room creating an echo[6:30:02] that fills you know[6:30:04] it's an echo that fills[6:30:06] the moans of three other guys[6:30:08] he killed[6:30:10] that night[6:30:18] you know it doesn't even bother a guy like[6:30:20] Gino to do a show for two people[6:30:22] he prefers it that way[6:30:24] in fact it's no stress[6:30:26] these guys[6:30:28] actually like doing shows for two people[6:30:30] that way they don't actually have to do anything[6:30:32] they don't actually have to be real comics[6:30:34] they could do this they come[6:30:36] home they tell oh yeah I did a show[6:30:38] in Jersey oh yeah I'm working[6:30:40] I'm a comic just like you[6:30:42] no no no this is what's really happening[6:30:44] we got tapes[6:31:02] they're saying Mike[6:31:04] call the dojo you know[6:31:06] interesting enough I was blocked[6:31:08] by comedy dojo[6:31:10] this morning on Instagram[6:31:12] yeah I had tagged them[6:31:14] in my stories exposing[6:31:16] them and then I also[6:31:18] messaged them saying would you be available[6:31:20] for interview today[6:31:22] and they put two and two together very[6:31:24] quickly and they just[6:31:26] blocked me[6:31:28] do we have this restaurant do we know what restaurant[6:31:30] this is that they're at?[6:31:32] they've got the phone number[6:31:34] oh we do let's call them[6:31:36] I'm ready for one of my[6:31:38] old fashioned calls[6:31:40] send me that[6:31:42] damn nigga[6:31:44] no it's just a black[6:31:46] woman on my Instagram[6:31:48] she's smoking damn nigga[6:31:50] damn[6:31:52] we're calling[6:31:54] the restaurant[6:31:56] that put on this show[6:31:58] let's get to the bottom of this[6:32:00] start from the top[6:32:04] speaker[6:32:06] here we go[6:32:08] thanks for calling[6:32:10] how can I help you?[6:32:12] yeah I'm actually a reporter[6:32:14] with the New York News[6:32:16] I'm doing a story about the comedy[6:32:18] shows you've been having[6:32:20] would you be able to speak for a few minutes?[6:32:22] um no[6:32:24] I don't have the authority to do that[6:32:26] oh[6:32:28] you know it's the same old story[6:32:30] every time I call one of these low life[6:32:32] restaurants that has[6:32:34] no business[6:32:36] I always get a bitch host[6:32:38] telling me to call back tomorrow[6:32:40] she's always such a cunt[6:32:42] you don't want to be a cunt do you?[6:32:48] no I don't I'm sorry[6:32:50] so let's try this again[6:32:52] with a little better attitude[6:32:54] you're representing a comedy show[6:32:56] we've got the New York News on the case[6:32:58] let's start it over[6:33:00] hi I'm from the New York News[6:33:02] can I interview someone?[6:33:08] go ahead[6:33:10] hello?[6:33:12] we've lost her[6:33:14] there's the beeping[6:33:16] of the hang-up[6:33:18] so that's problem number one[6:33:20] you should've just asked her[6:33:22] about the lighting I needed to know[6:33:24] she don't know she don't care[6:33:26] I've been through this so many times Jules[6:33:28] that's why I cut to the chase[6:33:30] you gotta ask her about the lighting before you call her a cunt[6:33:32] she's never gonna answer[6:33:34] and let me tell you something[6:33:36] I would just like to hear someone's explanation[6:33:38] if I picked up the phone[6:33:40] and it sounded like a reporter[6:33:42] I would be in the mirror fixing myself up[6:33:44] I'd be[6:33:46] these people don't give a fuck[6:33:48] they don't care if the president calls[6:33:50] yeah what do you want[6:33:52] hey it's me the president of the United States[6:33:54] whichever one you like the most[6:33:56] I'd like to talk to you[6:33:58] sorry[6:34:00] can't do it I'm not the manager[6:34:02] bye[6:34:04] what the fuck?[6:34:06] do you have a life at all?[6:34:08] do you care about living?[6:34:10] to me that's crazy[6:34:12] ladies and gentlemen Josh Denny[6:34:18] here he comes[6:34:22] I'm just talking on with you[6:34:24] we're just having a series[6:34:26] of mental and emotional breakdowns[6:34:28] so coming up on the stage next[6:34:30] emotional breakdown is nothing[6:34:32] other than Natalie Bowen[6:34:34] you're gonna have a great time[6:34:36] wait a minute[6:34:38] listen to this shit[6:34:40] here we go[6:34:42] the big boy[6:34:44] oh wait there's a girl coming?[6:34:46] female[6:34:48] you are hilarious you're amazing[6:34:50] this is really[6:34:52] so some fake[6:34:54] girl comic[6:34:58] comes up next[6:35:00] can we play through this?[6:35:02] I think that he cuts[6:35:04] he cuts watch this[6:35:08] here he comes[6:35:14] ladies and gentlemen[6:35:16] Joshua Deny[6:35:20] there he is[6:35:22] we start with the jeans[6:35:24] we work our way up if we could[6:35:26] muster the smell[6:35:28] and we go into Denny[6:35:30] he starts off with that million dollar[6:35:32] salesman smile[6:35:34] I haven't done comedy in a year[6:35:36] you've never done comedy[6:35:40] look at how the stage is falling apart[6:35:42] beneath them[6:35:46] now remember there are two people watching[6:35:50] they're like[6:35:52] they'll be here[6:35:54] we told them seven[6:35:56] so we're about[6:35:58] 45 minutes away from their arrival[6:36:00] what do you guys wanna do?[6:36:02] you wanna do new shit?[6:36:04] what do you guys wanna do?[6:36:06] you guys wanna do new shit?[6:36:08] no one knows you[6:36:10] the only two people that know you are my guys[6:36:12] you guys wanna do new shit?[6:36:14] should we do new shit?[6:36:16] so here he is emulating[6:36:18] the comedian that he's heard discuss their[6:36:20] process on podcast[6:36:22] and they say new shit every time because they know it's gonna be bad[6:36:24] and then they know and laugh[6:36:26] they already have the excuse[6:36:28] oh we're just working stuff out?[6:36:30] well then am I working out my ticket price?[6:36:32] is the ticket price just a workout?[6:36:34] I mean I come on the show I go[6:36:36] guys this is gonna be a bad show and it's the best[6:36:38] opportunity of your lives[6:36:40] these guys go it's gonna be a bad show[6:36:42] and it's literally worse[6:36:44] than what a bad show[6:36:46] could be[6:36:48] I mean it's literally so much worse[6:36:50] than[6:36:52] you go oh it's gonna be new material[6:36:54] okay that's gonna be bad[6:36:56] it's 50 times worse[6:36:58] than that[6:37:00] let's watch some more[6:37:12] there he goes[6:37:14] my day started listen to this lie[6:37:16] you know how my day started[6:37:18] I broke the toilet seat today[6:37:20] oh you broke the toilet seat while on vacation[6:37:22] in New Jersey[6:37:24] I can't wait to hear about this[6:37:26] and then I got to buy a new toilet seat[6:37:28] I broke a toilet seat today[6:37:30] and then I had to buy a new[6:37:32] toilet seat you're on vacation[6:37:34] I didn't[6:37:36] realize if you broke the toilet seat[6:37:38] in your hotel you had to go out and buy one[6:37:40] surely the airbnb person[6:37:42] is gonna help you fix it[6:37:44] rather than you yourself[6:37:46] hey guys I broke my toilet seat[6:37:48] today I had to go out and buy a new one[6:37:50] oh yeah in New Jersey[6:37:52] where you don't live[6:37:54] interesting[6:37:56] and then I got to buy a new[6:37:58] toilet seat[6:38:00] have you ever had to do that?[6:38:02] in a real fancy part of New York[6:38:04] here's the fucked up[6:38:06] part about me having to have bought[6:38:08] a toilet seat today[6:38:10] I didn't break it[6:38:12] in the obvious way[6:38:14] like I'm sure you're looking at me[6:38:16] and you're going we can put this[6:38:18] together we can figure[6:38:20] out how you broke it[6:38:22] I broke it lifting it up[6:38:24] which I didn't know was[6:38:26] possible[6:38:28] and then of course like the good guest[6:38:30] that I am I told the host I was like okay[6:38:32] I'll replace your toilet seat[6:38:34] and then I went to a local[6:38:36] hardware store[6:38:38] and bought a toilet seat and the lady[6:38:40] yelled at me she goes hey[6:38:42] asshole you're holding it under[6:38:44] your arm like you're over credit[6:38:46] and I was like oh good[6:38:48] I would hate to embarrass myself with the way[6:38:50] that I hold this fucking toilet seat[6:38:52] as I walk through your[6:38:54] rich neighborhood with my obese body[6:38:56] that is the big punchline[6:38:58] that it took a minute and a half to get to[6:39:00] that's the art[6:39:02] that they spend all year[6:39:04] crafting[6:39:06] I hear a laugh from a drunken bald guy[6:39:08] who's just dying[6:39:10] to hear anything[6:39:12] he thought of that[6:39:14] he wrote it down[6:39:16] he memorized it[6:39:18] I broke a toilet seat I had to go out and buy[6:39:20] a new one I was holding it under my arm they said[6:39:22] why don't you hold it from the handle he goes oh yeah[6:39:24] that's what I should be doing that would be[6:39:26] lesson that's the whole joke[6:39:30] he wrote it down you want to come to my house I'll[6:39:32] break a toilet seat over your fucking head[6:39:34] he didn't just memorize it[6:39:36] he flew to New Jersey[6:39:38] I'd like to buy an NFT[6:39:40] of this joke[6:39:42] he charged $25[6:39:44] and he announced that[6:39:46] listen to this[6:39:48] hey what do you got there[6:39:50] a toilet seat?[6:39:52] that would be embarrassing if you weren't holding it like a faggot[6:39:58] never happened[6:40:04] god I'm really thinking about you[6:40:06] you're the only person who came here to see me[6:40:08] yeah come on[6:40:10] he looks right at our[6:40:12] pry and our pry goes what[6:40:14] puts his camera down imagine the horror[6:40:16] imagine you're like this[6:40:18] and then the comedian that you're filming that's one[6:40:20] feet away from you notices you and you go[6:40:22] oh shit that's right[6:40:24] hi[6:40:26] it's like he knew[6:40:28] right away and he talks to our pry[6:40:30] he turned his face like a ghost[6:40:32] watch this[6:40:42] listen to what's going on here[6:40:44] are you the only person that came here[6:40:46] but stop filming me[6:40:48] so the guy's going like this[6:40:50] and Josh goes are you the only person[6:40:52] he thinks he's doing crap[6:40:54] stop filming me[6:40:58] so we got a lot going on[6:41:00] what's going on at once[6:41:02] I'm gonna try to pause on Josh's[6:41:04] face[6:41:06] watch this[6:41:12] imagine you're sitting in the front row[6:41:14] filming Josh you've watched him for[6:41:16] seven years on red bar[6:41:18] and then you see this[6:41:20] direct contact[6:41:22] are you[6:41:24] filming me[6:41:26] Alex you are like I don't think that I've[6:41:28] experienced anything this visceral[6:41:30] in my entire life[6:41:32] what you must have found looking into Denny's[6:41:34] eyes like this[6:41:36] I want to show up to a comedy show with like a six person[6:41:38] camera team[6:41:40] with like anamorphic[6:41:42] panavision[6:41:44] lenses with the two giant old[6:41:46] school reel to reel[6:41:48] tops and be like[6:41:50] this and have like a dolly and a guy[6:41:52] like working the wires holding it[6:41:54] are you filming me[6:41:56] no[6:41:58] who me[6:42:00] and I've got like a giant[6:42:02] camera[6:42:04] imagine this are you filming me[6:42:06] no[6:42:08] alright check this out[6:42:10] this is where it gets really good[6:42:12] he's noticed[6:42:14] are shy[6:42:16] you're the only[6:42:18] you're the only person who came[6:42:20] yeah come on[6:42:22] come on I'm not fucking feeling[6:42:24] that show first he was doing[6:42:26] crowd work with the guy hey are you[6:42:28] camera stop filming me[6:42:30] so it was like two things[6:42:32] happened at the exact same time he's[6:42:34] noticed a guy for crowd work he's got the[6:42:36] million dollar car salesman smile[6:42:38] stop filming me[6:42:40] he knew instantly[6:42:42] if a guy is going like this[6:42:44] it's a prank bro[6:42:46] it ain't a fan[6:42:48] you're not Kendall Jenner[6:42:50] and I just wanted to[6:42:52] make note of the point that[6:42:54] Gino the host[6:42:56] and the girl have all been on stage[6:42:58] interacting with Alex while[6:43:00] clearly being filmed and the only person[6:43:02] who had enough paranoia about it[6:43:04] to stop it was Denny I mean the guy[6:43:06] is literally sitting there like this[6:43:08] like the only thing he's missing is a giant[6:43:10] crank and he's drunk as fuck[6:43:12] so you know he's being so obvious[6:43:14] I want to come in with an 1800's[6:43:16] western camera[6:43:18] where you have to stand straight for an hour[6:43:20] to get the photo to develop right with your family[6:43:22] you have to put the little blanket over your head[6:43:24] yeah I put a blanket over my head and I've got[6:43:26] like all these cranks[6:43:28] are you filming me no[6:43:30] this is my[6:43:32] clothes[6:43:34] they're camera clothes[6:43:36] the only person who came[6:43:38] like look at me yeah come on[6:43:40] stop filming[6:43:42] are you kidding me[6:43:44] so listen[6:43:46] to that so we got a cut here[6:43:48] are you filming me stop filming me right now[6:43:50] turn your phone off[6:43:52] so he's kind of returned[6:43:54] cutely you guys should see[6:43:56] this Alex guy's profile picture[6:43:58] oh my god he looks like he went to Harvard[6:44:00] he's like a little perfect boy angel[6:44:02] beautiful I love our spies[6:44:04] I'm not fucking[6:44:06] are you kidding me[6:44:08] now I feel[6:44:10] fucking left out cause I have to see if[6:44:12] there's not any cell phones[6:44:14] I want to show up to a comedy show with a crane[6:44:16] shot[6:44:18] you know[6:44:20] in like[6:44:22] 300 or so assistant[6:44:24] directors and continuity people[6:44:26] you know that shot from like[6:44:28] 1917 or whatever that war movie[6:44:30] and then you always see that behind the scenes[6:44:32] shot of the camera like going up[6:44:34] the thing and then going across the field[6:44:36] of war where the guy's like running[6:44:38] and then it shows the whole truck that it took[6:44:40] I want to be in the venue three weeks[6:44:42] earlier setting up my[6:44:44] robotics[6:44:46] and then they ask me are you filming no[6:44:48] I am not[6:44:52] and then I want like eight guys[6:44:54] on like Macintosh[6:44:56] like super computers[6:44:58] are you doing CGI right now[6:45:00] no we are not[6:45:02] they're like coding there's like racks and[6:45:04] racks of guys coding like[6:45:06] Pixar type[6:45:08] imagine like the Pixar studios[6:45:10] rows and rows[6:45:12] right before the show starts I[6:45:14] go out in front of the stage and do like the clapper[6:45:16] yes you've got the[6:45:18] are you filming[6:45:20] no[6:45:22] I don't know this looks like[6:45:24] a full feature production[6:45:26] Martin Scorsese comes out[6:45:28] are you filming[6:45:30] no no he's not[6:45:32] no Martin Scorsese is that you[6:45:34] why yes it is[6:45:36] are you filming[6:45:40] yes[6:45:42] but it's going to be[6:45:44] a wonderful picture[6:45:46] Joshua please let me[6:45:48] convince you do you have a second[6:45:50] that's Martin Scorsese[6:45:52] coming along with me I got Tarantino[6:45:54] I got every director I set up the back[6:45:56] of the room like the Golden Globes[6:45:58] Harvey Weinstein is there[6:46:00] a step and repeats from Miramax[6:46:02] all in the background are you[6:46:04] filming[6:46:06] oh this[6:46:08] yes[6:46:12] boom operator[6:46:14] of course[6:46:16] you got them all alright let's get[6:46:18] you should go back five seconds because Josh goes I know[6:46:20] what you're doing to the guys[6:46:22] which is the message straight to him because he wants[6:46:24] him to know and Josh this is the[6:46:26] lightest you're going to get off we are filming[6:46:28] every waking hour of[6:46:30] your life from here on out[6:46:32] come on I'm not fucking filming[6:46:34] are you kidding me[6:46:46] there's a lot going[6:46:48] on there's a lot of weird cuts[6:46:50] but I guess the guy the[6:46:52] shy or the spy or the[6:46:54] pry he goes[6:46:56] I'm waiting for a friend[6:46:58] and Josh[6:47:00] Danny's going to make fun of me like oh[6:47:02] yeah I bet he's waiting for a friend it's like[6:47:04] dude you're the one where[6:47:06] no one's coming to your show[6:47:08] and now you're mocking an audience[6:47:10] member for not having another[6:47:12] audience member I know why doesn't Alex go[6:47:14] it's your responsibility it's not Alex[6:47:16] is the shy spy[6:47:18] pry it's not his responsibility to[6:47:20] have audience members it's yours[6:47:22] my dream spy[6:47:24] scenario is if we can somehow[6:47:26] get ear pieces on these guys[6:47:28] and tell them exactly what to say back[6:47:30] to each heckle because all Alex[6:47:32] would have to do is be like are you[6:47:34] waiting for the rest of your audience[6:47:36] I've seen about[6:47:38] 70,000 TV episodes[6:47:40] that revolve around this premise[6:47:42] it's me in a van[6:47:44] with a walkie talkie[6:47:46] and the guy's got an ear piece[6:47:48] and I'm filling him in on what I mean[6:47:50] why haven't we done this already[6:47:52] it'll be like[6:47:54] punked except I never come out[6:47:56] and you're responsible for your own lawsuit[6:47:58] every spy report[6:48:00] to everything they say I'm always like[6:48:02] you have like the perfect answer[6:48:04] of what they should have said[6:48:06] I might start dressing up like Gordon Ramsay[6:48:08] on that project kitchen[6:48:10] show and[6:48:12] halfway through the show I'll be like[6:48:14] enough and they'll be like what do you mean enough[6:48:16] and I'll start[6:48:18] it's me Mike David[6:48:20] from Red Bar this is shit[6:48:22] I[6:48:24] guess we had to clean this up[6:48:26] that would be like if we could just do that once[6:48:28] maybe we should make that happen[6:48:30] if I wasn't so disabled I would but[6:48:32] these guys would kill me[6:48:34] if Mike gets healed we will do that[6:48:36] alright let's see what happens next[6:48:38] cheers[6:48:50] look at this[6:49:00] and Josh[6:49:02] was trying to be very jokey[6:49:04] like Josh was trying to do a joke about[6:49:06] time travel and this guy interrupted[6:49:08] and Josh is like[6:49:10] yelling at him but he's trying to[6:49:12] add a little like Josh[6:49:14] learns[6:49:16] which I hate to say[6:49:18] and here's the thing about fools[6:49:20] no he learns how to lie better[6:49:22] yeah[6:49:24] so here's the thing about fools[6:49:26] he's an expert at that[6:49:28] we[6:49:30] we should[6:49:32] you know how in golf they have the[6:49:34] what do they call that the[6:49:38] where you're disabled[6:49:40] what do they call that in golf[6:49:42] your handicapped[6:49:44] so[6:49:46] it should almost be like[6:49:48] okay well you're four years[6:49:50] into being on red bar so[6:49:52] your behavior is adjusted[6:49:54] according to red bar somewhat[6:49:56] so it still counts as zilch[6:49:58] so like[6:50:00] Josh Denney adding[6:50:02] a joke to all of his[6:50:04] anger at the end is[6:50:06] a learned[6:50:08] behavior[6:50:10] to smooth out[6:50:12] the forwardness well because[6:50:14] I like to tell people all the time[6:50:16] nobody thinks his jokes at the end of screaming[6:50:18] hold on well they do[6:50:20] it tricks people and[6:50:22] Anthony Kumiya created this[6:50:24] marketplace Kumiya might be able to trick someone[6:50:26] with that but not Denney well I just want[6:50:28] to let everybody know the more the[6:50:30] comic laughs[6:50:32] the less he's happy[6:50:34] alright you[6:50:36] guys see me when have you ever seen me[6:50:38] laugh I mean[6:50:40] when when I really[6:50:42] knock it out of the park when have you ever seen[6:50:44] me laugh anyone who laughs[6:50:46] is so suspicious[6:50:48] and Josh[6:50:50] Kumiya and Gino are[6:50:52] constantly[6:50:54] bawling with laughter[6:50:56] after every word that[6:50:58] comes out of their own mouth it's a laugh[6:51:00] marathon and[6:51:02] you're going well this must[6:51:04] confuse some people into thinking what's[6:51:06] going on with these boys is funny[6:51:08] it is not[6:51:10] they're in a bad place they're all[6:51:12] doing horrific nobody[6:51:14] is laughing no one's having a good time[6:51:16] so do not be fooled[6:51:18] by the cleanup[6:51:20] that these comics have learned[6:51:22] to do I call it the comic cleanup[6:51:24] you say something horrible[6:51:26] you're mortified this would be[6:51:28] me if I said something horrible[6:51:30] oh yeah yeah I mean you wouldn't[6:51:32] be able to scrub it from me but[6:51:34] a true scumbag they've learned[6:51:36] a comic cleanup they've[6:51:38] learned[6:51:42] and then they are able to[6:51:44] move on to the next lie[6:51:46] can you believe this[6:51:48] what's going on with comedians here[6:51:50] Owen Benjamin agrees do you want to see[6:51:52] Owen's clips again my heart goes out[6:51:54] to Owen I'd like to do a dinner with[6:51:56] him why don't you schedule every[6:51:58] clip that we show we have to[6:52:00] play those Owen clips again[6:52:02] I want to have a Seinfeld style[6:52:04] two couple style[6:52:06] mild dinner with Owen where we both[6:52:08] wear like a beige suit and we're at a restaurant[6:52:10] imagine like during Seinfeld[6:52:12] era people wore suits[6:52:14] George is wearing a suit[6:52:16] well stop it right there[6:52:18] I want to have a Seinfeld[6:52:20] style dinner with Owen what does that mean[6:52:22] it's a dark restaurant Jules and I[6:52:24] are on one side I'm in[6:52:26] a tan suit he's gonna shoot[6:52:28] and there's a calamity of course[6:52:30] a mild[6:52:32] calamity get[6:52:34] Owen on[6:52:36] dinner is[6:52:38] the hashtag here[6:52:40] get Owen on dinner[6:52:42] wouldn't you like to see me and Owen[6:52:44] I'll even shave[6:52:46] my head out like George Costanza for this[6:52:48] meal what would Owen get[6:52:50] I'll even wear a suit jacket[6:52:52] I want Owen to call in I'm ready to talk to him[6:52:54] I'm ready[6:52:56] I'm ready to have Owen on the show can you reach[6:52:58] out to him folks I don't even[6:53:00] know how you would access him he's banned[6:53:02] this would be like a flirt fest[6:53:04] flirt fest[6:53:06] 2019[6:53:08] Owen and Mike flirt fest[6:53:10] what if it's too nauseating I'd be like this[6:53:12] to you[6:53:14] hello Owen[6:53:16] we would be[6:53:18] smiling[6:53:20] so big[6:53:22] did I do why bother already[6:53:24] yeah I did it killed[6:53:26] it was better than the[6:53:28] original I don't know I want to do a shot[6:53:30] get me a song[6:53:32] fuck don't make it awkward[6:53:34] I love Owen you know I got to[6:53:36] start embracing people[6:53:38] that do the right thing and[6:53:40] I think Owen is on that path you know[6:53:42] I should have never doubted[6:53:44] Owen you know why[6:53:46] you've seen his wife smile[6:53:48] do you think[6:53:50] Bert Kreischer's wife and Tom Segura's wife[6:53:52] is walking around with that smile[6:53:54] Owen Benjamin the most hated guy right[6:53:56] he's banned from all platforms he's the[6:53:58] devil his wife's smiling[6:54:00] his kids don't have an eye[6:54:02] here and an eye there and a googly lip[6:54:04] he's got a full[6:54:06] house full barn he's building[6:54:08] stuff he's not poor[6:54:10] well what[6:54:12] if Owen's right[6:54:14] what if Owen is right[6:54:16] we're all well get out of here[6:54:18] cause he said one I mean he said[6:54:20] some horrible shit he really needs[6:54:22] to[6:54:24] I feel bad I really[6:54:26] do feel bad I feel like he never wanted[6:54:28] to dig himself that deep[6:54:30] he dug himself deep and as far as if you're[6:54:32] trying to interact with all these people like he[6:54:34] was[6:54:36] for me it's no big deal Owen[6:54:38] was trying to be in the mix[6:54:40] you can't be in the mix[6:54:42] unless you follow[6:54:44] the leader you can't[6:54:46] and I think what Owen was rebelling[6:54:48] against was the leader[6:54:50] the bullshit and so what he[6:54:52] did is he tried to say the[6:54:54] direct opposite what do they call that[6:54:56] the you're[6:54:58] a contrarian[6:55:00] contrarian he tried to be a contrarian[6:55:02] to the highest degree to the people who[6:55:04] hated the most and in[6:55:06] order to be that contrarian he had to go[6:55:08] pretty dark and[6:55:10] I think he said a lot of things that he[6:55:12] doesn't mean I mean if he loves me[6:55:14] how could he hate the Jews[6:55:16] I'm the king of the Jews exactly[6:55:18] and[6:55:20] so I think if Owen can find[6:55:22] love for me then he's not[6:55:24] bad I never thought he was bad you've always[6:55:26] heard me say something like that right[6:55:28] this Owen I know[6:55:30] he's got a sweet side[6:55:32] he's just lost and he doesn't[6:55:34] like being told he was lost[6:55:36] he don't like[6:55:38] that so he gets mad[6:55:40] it's concern trolling well yeah it is concern[6:55:42] trolling except it's when it's[6:55:44] from me it's it's[6:55:46] not he knows that now[6:55:48] so Owen you come over[6:55:50] cause if Ethan can bring back[6:55:52] Trisha Paytas[6:55:54] I could bring back oh and you know what[6:55:56] he might feel he doesn't need to be brought back[6:55:58] he doesn't but[6:56:00] I would like you to be brought back[6:56:02] to be comfortable around[6:56:04] you first[6:56:06] do we have the song[6:56:08] I wanted to do[6:56:10] what's this[6:56:12] really that's[6:56:14] cause you got me what song do you want it did[6:56:16] I thought we oh we didn't we don't have a song[6:56:18] we don't have a song no oh[6:56:20] you gotta get me something[6:56:22] Owen just tell[6:56:24] for a meme something about a meme[6:56:28] not my boy David[6:56:30] Trisha Paytas[6:56:32] got it going on somebody says very funny[6:56:34] very rememberant[6:56:36] what is this before he cheats[6:56:38] let's try this hit the lights[6:56:40] bitch[6:56:42] is there any[6:56:44] other show like this task[6:56:46] oooh[6:56:48] task one two I gotta get it off[6:56:50] vocoder task one two[6:56:52] I think it sounds pretty good[6:56:54] check this out guys[6:56:58] song goes out to Owen Benjamin's wife[6:57:02] I don't really know it you hit[6:57:04] all the lights I wish we[6:57:06] had soon[6:57:08] yes[6:57:10] welcome to the red bar[6:57:12] experience here at[6:57:14] Lowe's[6:57:16] yes[6:57:20] right now he's probably slow[6:57:22] dancing with a bleach[6:57:24] brine tramp and he's probably getting[6:57:26] frisky right now[6:57:28] he's probably prying her some[6:57:30] fruity little drink cause he can't[6:57:32] shoot whiskey right[6:57:34] now he's probably behind[6:57:36] with a pool stick showing her[6:57:38] how to shoot a combo[6:57:40] you[6:57:42] you don't know[6:57:46] I dug my key into[6:57:48] the side of his pretty[6:57:50] little fucked up four wheel[6:57:52] drive dug my[6:57:54] name into his leather[6:57:56] shoes[6:57:58] I took a Louisville[6:58:00] slugger to both headlights[6:58:02] slashed all in[6:58:04] all four tires[6:58:06] maybe next time you'll think before[6:58:08] he cheats[6:58:10] thank you[6:58:16] right now she's probably[6:58:18] up singing some white jazz[6:58:20] version of Mike Karaoke[6:58:22] right now she's probably[6:58:24] saying I'm drunk and he's sad[6:58:26] thinking that he's gonna get lucky[6:58:28] right now[6:58:30] she's probably dabbing on three dollars[6:58:32] worth of that bathroom[6:58:34] polo[6:58:37] you don't know[6:58:41] I dug that key into[6:58:43] the side of his pretty[6:58:45] little fucked up four wheel[6:58:47] drive dug my[6:58:49] name into his leather[6:58:51] shoes[6:58:53] I took a Louisville[6:58:55] slugger to both headlights[6:58:57] slashed all in[6:58:59] all four tires[6:59:01] maybe next time you'll think[6:59:03] before he cheats[6:59:07] I might have shaved[6:59:09] a little top off[6:59:11] by the neck scalp[6:59:13] cause at night night[6:59:15] you know you're not gonna[6:59:17] be me[6:59:19] you know you're gonna be me[6:59:21] thank you[6:59:23] thank you[6:59:25] no not[6:59:27] me[6:59:32] cause I dug my[6:59:34] key into the[6:59:36] side of his pretty little[6:59:38] fucked up four wheel drive[6:59:40] dug my name[6:59:42] into his leather[6:59:44] shoes[6:59:46] I took a Louisville[6:59:48] slugger to both headlights[6:59:50] slashed all in[6:59:52] all four tires[6:59:54] maybe next time you'll think[6:59:56] before he cheats[7:00:00] maybe next time you'll think[7:00:02] before he[7:00:04] cheats[7:00:08] all before[7:00:10] he cheats[7:00:14] all[7:00:16] before he[7:00:18] cheats[7:00:26] yes that was iconic[7:00:28] thank you it was iconic? good[7:00:30] iconic to me[7:00:32] listen we're trying to do all the hits[7:00:41] it's a pretty cool show I mean[7:00:43] are there other podcasts doing[7:00:45] anything?[7:00:47] hey think about it this way if Alex[7:00:49] just asked Denny to[7:00:51] perform before he cheats[7:00:53] for that crowd do you think that he would be able to pull it off?[7:00:55] people are in tears they're saying[7:00:57] I've never imagined this[7:00:59] in my wildest dreams they're saying[7:01:01] this is amazing[7:01:03] I mean people are pulling up their hair they can't believe[7:01:05] what a show this is[7:01:07] for such little money[7:01:09] can you join the scars club[7:01:11] are you that big of a piece of shit[7:01:13] that you can't invest 35 cents[7:01:15] a day into this? redbarradio.net[7:01:17] slash scars do it now[7:01:19] I'm[7:01:21] alright how much more do we have[7:01:23] of this I'm sick I know I'm sorry[7:01:25] we'll make it fun we'll make it fun yeah we'll make it fun[7:01:27] so basically what's happening right now is[7:01:29] Denny is noticing Alex and Alex[7:01:31] write this down they want Rancid[7:01:33] people want cause we need an ending[7:01:35] quickly say what song you know[7:01:37] I don't know any Rancid song[7:01:39] you find karaoke[7:01:41] those lights were the shit[7:01:43] thank you Mike amazing we've really Todd[7:01:45] might be kicking himself[7:01:47] cause he thought he hated all this[7:01:49] turns out everyone loves it he probably[7:01:51] loves it now[7:01:53] Harley loves it now I don't know what to do[7:01:55] you could come back guys everyone[7:01:57] gets a second chance here[7:01:59] you could come back? they can come back if they're here[7:02:01] I know that Todd[7:02:03] Detter and Harley are listening and they're like[7:02:05] hmm this red bar is actually pretty good[7:02:07] you could come back it's water[7:02:09] under the bridge okay[7:02:11] forget about it we won't say[7:02:13] anything we won't say anything we won't tell[7:02:15] anyone anything come on back[7:02:19] we'll pretend it never happened[7:02:21] we haven't told any of the listeners about you guys leaving[7:02:23] Avery Schmuck and Xander they've[7:02:25] figured out how this works[7:02:27] they're not gonna go too far[7:02:29] you know it's time[7:02:31] if you've pretended you've hated[7:02:33] me for a series of weeks[7:02:35] it's time to stop[7:02:37] you know it's a great[7:02:39] show you wanna be involved[7:02:41] alright[7:02:43] I literally sold my blood[7:02:45] to join Scars[7:02:47] stop with that and don't tell me[7:02:49] that you're giving up things[7:02:51] I'd rather pay for your Scars[7:02:53] than for you to tell me oh I gave up lent[7:02:55] for this Scars[7:02:57] shit[7:02:59] I think Scars is good[7:03:01] you get access to the entire[7:03:03] archive it's 20[7:03:05] years almost yes I don't think that you say that[7:03:07] enough because it's not just that you get the[7:03:09] Scars Club episodes for free[7:03:11] unlimited red bar well here's the problem[7:03:13] most people's archives[7:03:15] are as bad as their[7:03:17] present day shows[7:03:19] so when you hear the word archives you go[7:03:21] ugh what the worst[7:03:23] stuff because[7:03:25] most shows that you listen to are horrible[7:03:27] now imagine what like four weeks from[7:03:29] now when they're not talking about NFTs[7:03:31] or something[7:03:33] god knows how bad that'll be[7:03:35] but this is red bar[7:03:37] our archives[7:03:39] are as good as the[7:03:41] new archives[7:03:43] really some people they can't believe[7:03:45] they didn't think about it that way they go back[7:03:47] to season 15 I mean how many years ago[7:03:49] and they go this is[7:03:51] I forgot because[7:03:53] yeah when Louis J Gomez says yeah[7:03:55] go into the Legion of Skanks archives what do you got[7:03:57] them complaining about[7:03:59] Coney 2012[7:04:01] for two seconds laugh about[7:04:03] today or tomorrow[7:04:05] yeah it sucks[7:04:07] everyone else's archives suck[7:04:09] everyone else's show is crap[7:04:11] this show isn't even that good[7:04:13] but think about how much better this is than everyone else's[7:04:15] what does that make everyone else's[7:04:17] we got a lot of crap out[7:04:19] there[7:04:21] you know[7:04:23] I've only got a few more years left but I[7:04:25] I'm trying to every show I want to[7:04:27] up the show and wait till you[7:04:29] see the surprise that I got coming next[7:04:31] you know[7:04:33] that I'm dumping Jules is you know[7:04:35] she's got a whole other life to live a new guy[7:04:37] to me a whole nother life[7:04:39] she can have no money left I'm spending it all[7:04:41] on props no no no[7:04:43] oh yeah alright what time do I go to[7:04:45] well there's only like two minutes left in this[7:04:47] tape so you might as well cause he gets kicked out right now[7:04:49] he gets kicked out our shy[7:04:51] gets kicked out we're back[7:04:53] to the Josh Denny comedy[7:04:55] dojo they've blocked me on[7:04:57] Instagram for my truth[7:04:59] to their censorship[7:05:01] alright if we[7:05:03] no no no no no no[7:05:05] pick out a song though from their suggestions[7:05:07] you[7:05:09] just wet sassy white[7:05:11] Karen on me no no no no[7:05:13] excuse me I'm gonna need back my[7:05:15] father and my birth[7:05:19] okay I'm trying to have a conversation[7:05:21] with the Jews about time travel[7:05:23] what is your deal alright[7:05:25] so can I no big mic is for the[7:05:27] hot talk show[7:05:29] look at this[7:05:31] why is your camera pointing at me[7:05:33] okay and one[7:05:35] you're the worst[7:05:37] do you hear this Josh is going in between[7:05:39] looking and actually being really[7:05:41] physically mad put your fucking[7:05:43] phone away what are you doing[7:05:45] are you trying to cause he knows[7:05:47] that's like too aggressive[7:05:49] too aggressive[7:05:51] put your fucking phone away[7:05:53] put your fucking phone away[7:05:55] dude look at Denny's mass[7:05:57] oh my god imagine that's[7:05:59] looking at you and believe me these are the same[7:06:01] visions as the guys actually[7:06:03] seeing it's that blurry[7:06:05] cause it's so[7:06:07] distorted as a piece of time[7:06:09] so uh[7:06:11] imagine looking up at this the guy's[7:06:13] so fat he's taking a Patrice O'Neill[7:06:15] stool shit[7:06:17] you know you know where it got Patrice O'Neill[7:06:19] right to Little Caesar's heaven[7:06:21] pizza pizza[7:06:23] they're saying to Patrice O'Neill every fucking minute[7:06:25] of the day pizza pizza pizza pizza[7:06:27] shut the fuck up[7:06:29] he's yelling he wishes he was[7:06:31] George Floyd at least he gets a peaceful death[7:06:33] from a knee Patrice[7:06:35] Patrice O'Neill is spinning through hell[7:06:37] and pizza pizza pizza pizza[7:06:39] they're shoving fucking crazy bread[7:06:41] in his mouth constantly[7:06:43] you like pizza right huh[7:06:45] pizza pizza[7:06:47] shut the fuck up he's going nuts[7:06:49] in hell[7:06:51] that's what I'm looking at here pizza pizza[7:06:53] that's how Patrice O'Neill died[7:06:55] I hate Patrice[7:07:01] you know how like everyone's like but Patrice[7:07:03] O'Neill he was great[7:07:05] no because they[7:07:07] say that this is what I say Patrice O'Neill[7:07:09] that spook[7:07:11] hated him always[7:07:13] have[7:07:15] he sucked then he sucks now I hope his[7:07:17] family all dies too[7:07:19] you ever heard a podcaster[7:07:21] say that about Patrice O'Neill[7:07:23] the fucking George Floyd of[7:07:25] comedy oh Patrice[7:07:27] oh Patrice O'Neill oh yeah why[7:07:29] cause he didn't do an episode of The Office out of[7:07:31] Fear he's so great[7:07:33] cause his stance on women[7:07:35] that they was bitches[7:07:37] oh how funny[7:07:39] or was it because[7:07:41] you were white and you finally thought[7:07:43] you knew a black guy[7:07:45] huh[7:07:47] could 50% of your[7:07:49] love for Patrice O'Neill[7:07:51] be that you were white[7:07:53] and you thought hey I'm pretty[7:07:55] into this black guy so[7:07:57] I'm pretty[7:08:01] I think half of it was that[7:08:03] listen I like Patrice O'Neill I think[7:08:05] he's good[7:08:07] but shut up[7:08:09] he's Bones[7:08:11] you ever watch Bones do comedy[7:08:13] it's a rattling nothing[7:08:17] he's Bones I'd love[7:08:19] to see Patrice O'Neill as Bones at least[7:08:21] I could finally see what he looks like[7:08:23] thin[7:08:25] this is a roast now Patrice O'Neill[7:08:27] oh yeah Patrice O'Neill it's such[7:08:29] a shame that he died[7:08:31] you know speaking[7:08:33] of his death I went to his cemetery[7:08:35] where he was buried imagine I'm on stage[7:08:37] of Patrice O'Neill benefit[7:08:39] check this out I got a whole routine[7:08:41] test one two three four five six seven[7:08:43] alright imagine I'm on a Patrice[7:08:45] O'Neill benefit right[7:08:47] oh yeah it's great to be here[7:08:49] I loved Patrice he was[7:08:51] such a great comic he was so[7:08:53] funny actually it sucks[7:08:55] that he died you know comedy[7:08:58] Sarah Silverman's here today[7:09:00] so hot so hot[7:09:02] okay anyway[7:09:04] so Patrice O'Neill he died[7:09:06] so um[7:09:08] I actually I like him so much[7:09:10] I mean we all love him so much I actually[7:09:12] and imagine I'm on stage right MGM[7:09:14] huge crowd[7:09:16] so yeah I went to his uh actually[7:09:18] uh visited his grave[7:09:20] the other day yeah it was really[7:09:22] sad[7:09:24] it's really sad to see how much[7:09:26] of a skinny bitch he became[7:09:28] I dug him up he's just his skeleton[7:09:30] it's not intimidating anymore[7:09:32] Patrice[7:09:34] O'Neill is no[7:09:36] more he's[7:09:38] fucking done[7:09:40] he's a[7:09:42] Kramer[7:09:44] Kramer comic anyway so I love[7:09:46] Patrice O'Neill I think he's a great comic[7:09:48] um my heart[7:09:50] really goes out to his family who's[7:09:52] so cool you know[7:09:54] Patrice O'Neill[7:09:56] which is a good set[7:09:58] Patrice O'Neill he loved pizza[7:10:00] oh my god I'll never forget[7:10:02] how much he loved pizza he's such a great guy[7:10:04] and um[7:10:06] I remember one time I saw him[7:10:08] you know just do anything[7:10:10] for pizza and I'm just so[7:10:12] glad that uh[7:10:14] some of the doctors[7:10:16] have a feeling[7:10:18] that the pizza could have actually[7:10:20] contributed to his[7:10:22] death[7:10:24] which you[7:10:26] guys hate[7:10:28] right[7:10:30] you hate that he died I[7:10:32] like that he died I uh[7:10:34] you know I've never[7:10:36] been a big fan of black people[7:10:38] throughout history[7:10:40] and I was like why is everyone like[7:10:42] in this blank guy[7:10:44] what the fuck[7:10:46] and then he died and so finally[7:10:48] I was like[7:10:50] you know it's[7:10:52] right he's gone[7:10:54] and um[7:10:56] I really hate the[7:10:58] cemetery he's buried at it's such[7:11:00] I always deface[7:11:02] his stone[7:11:04] I always go over there I[7:11:06] scratch it all up I've uh if you ever visit[7:11:08] his grave you see his name's carved out[7:11:10] says uh[7:11:12] n-word n-word man down here[7:11:14] with an arrow that's[7:11:16] my scratchings so I[7:11:18] hate him thank you guys for coming out[7:11:20] to his benefits[7:11:24] he's an N[7:11:28] thank you[7:11:30] now that[7:11:32] the crowd was that into it it was very[7:11:34] echoey I'm telling you the crowd that's[7:11:36] exactly how there should be[7:11:38] that's how you do it you want to be a[7:11:40] comedian say something fucking funny[7:11:42] say something funny imagine[7:11:44] you go to a show it's a patrice[7:11:46] it's a benefit someone has the guts[7:11:48] to say that that's what patrice would have[7:11:50] wanted not this oh he was the best[7:11:52] oh he was the baby he was better than mr[7:11:54] belvedere oh he was[7:11:56] better than mrs butterworth if[7:11:58] mrs butterworth and mr belvedere had[7:12:00] a baby it couldn't have been as good[7:12:02] as patrice oh he's amazing[7:12:04] he wore a top hat and ate pizza[7:12:06] pie while doing[7:12:08] stand-up I couldn't believe it he hated[7:12:10] women it[7:12:12] was so funny he[7:12:14] women is hoes I[7:12:16] like couldn't believe he had a gap in his[7:12:18] tooth he was shut the[7:12:20] fuck up he's gone[7:12:22] and he will never be back[7:12:24] ever[7:12:26] the standing ovation they say I deserve[7:12:28] from that standing go[7:12:30] I think that's[7:12:32] imagine I put out a special called patrice[7:12:34] o'neill is a dead end[7:12:36] imagine that you see this[7:12:38] link everywhere everyone's[7:12:40] prone oh check out mike david's new comedy[7:12:42] special patrice o'neill is a dead[7:12:44] end and like everyone[7:12:46] online is reading a dead[7:12:48] end he doesn't mean[7:12:50] is that that's[7:12:52] like fucked up a dead end[7:12:54] everyone would want to click on[7:12:56] a dead end patrice o'neill is[7:12:58] a dead and[7:13:00] and people are clicking what the hell is[7:13:02] it yo patrice o'neill[7:13:04] he would have wanted me to shove pizza[7:13:06] in his corpse I[7:13:08] mean they'd really go nuts we could film this[7:13:10] all in front of a green screen or on a roof[7:13:12] like sam morrell[7:13:14] I might start branching[7:13:16] into stuff like that imagine I put out[7:13:18] these comedy specials colin quinn[7:13:20] is[7:13:22] a true nigga[7:13:24] that's the title I mean[7:13:26] comedy fans would click on things like that[7:13:28] all[7:13:30] right I think that's comedy[7:13:32] sorry guys all right we're[7:13:34] waiting for jewels to come back in we're gonna[7:13:36] finish up the denny spy verse[7:13:38] pry report and so far we I think we've[7:13:40] just seen from the shy we're gonna see[7:13:42] the pry hmm[7:13:44] who could tell but we're gonna see from the[7:13:46] pry or the shy remember we got[7:13:48] two guys one's a shy one's[7:13:50] a pry one's going too far[7:13:52] one's a[7:13:54] little too shy and[7:13:56] we're gonna see the other perspective[7:13:58] coming up here I want[7:14:00] everyone to go home with this feeling[7:14:02] this sickening feeling where you go[7:14:04] these guys are like running a business where they[7:14:06] like imagine if you went to a restaurant[7:14:08] and they promised it was a steakhouse[7:14:10] oh come on[7:14:12] for the best steak oh please come on over[7:14:14] and you go and they've got a menu and everything[7:14:16] and you look at the menu and it's seventy dollars[7:14:18] for the steak yeah this is gonna be good[7:14:20] you get the steak and then geno[7:14:22] comes out with like[7:14:24] uh you know one of those[7:14:26] denny's t-bones that looks like it[7:14:28] was boiled[7:14:30] here's your fucking steak[7:14:32] you'd go[7:14:34] I object do you have a yelp[7:14:36] I mean you'd be pissed right[7:14:38] if you went to a restaurant and were so rudely[7:14:40] ripped off that's[7:14:42] what's happening to these lone comedy[7:14:44] fans it might be just well they don't have any people to[7:14:46] do any reviews so luckily they don't[7:14:48] have that problem well yeah that's the problem[7:14:50] I might start a yelp called[7:14:54] you know[7:14:56] what would my yelp be called[7:14:58] for watching these comedians[7:15:00] help[7:15:02] you know something like that with the same font[7:15:04] help[7:15:06] exclamation point[7:15:08] really uh[7:15:10] what if that's how you're supposed to[7:15:12] pronounce yelp[7:15:14] yelp[7:15:16] cause you're so shocked by what's going on at this restaurant[7:15:18] you're having one of those old school eighties heart attacks[7:15:20] at the restaurant where somebody's gotta give you[7:15:22] a mouth to mouth[7:15:24] or uh the heimlich[7:15:26] in the eighties every time you went out to eat you needed to give[7:15:28] a guy the heimlich[7:15:30] uh he'd be there'd be a man in[7:15:32] a suit and you'd go he's choking he's choking[7:15:34] somebody and I'd have to do[7:15:36] it I gave the heimlich to about[7:15:38] how many people you give the heimlich to[7:15:40] mmm like 35[7:15:42] no she's she ruined[7:15:44] the bed no no I mean I've actually[7:15:46] she's done none is none[7:15:48] none is what she meant to say none I've done a[7:15:50] lot I've done 70[7:15:52] that's a normal thing for me[7:15:54] I haven't gone out to eat I'll tell[7:15:56] you this I haven't gone[7:15:58] out to to eat[7:16:00] ever without doing the heimlich[7:16:02] to somebody[7:16:04] I was doing it to this kid the other day I broke his[7:16:06] chest I've never seen anything like[7:16:08] it I actually have seen someone give someone else[7:16:10] the heimlich does that count I fucking hate[7:16:12] the heimlich I would never[7:16:14] help somebody if I[7:16:16] saw a man dead on the ground I would[7:16:18] walk by and kick his skull until[7:16:20] I'm sure he's dead I[7:16:22] hate helping people[7:16:24] and if you heard a car crash story that is not[7:16:26] true at all actually just the other day we saw[7:16:28] a passed out drunk guy on the side[7:16:30] of the road and we saved his life[7:16:32] they're making fun of us now[7:16:34] oh please[7:16:36] um let's see I think[7:16:38] reptilia by the strokes[7:16:40] would showcase Mike's vocal range[7:16:42] very well it's a shame I haven't heard the song[7:16:46] I've done the heimlich[7:16:48] Mike was 15 he did the heimlich[7:16:50] he set down[7:16:52] his sig he never set down his[7:16:54] sig never yeah yeah never[7:16:56] I'd do the heimlich I'd be blowing smoke[7:16:58] into the guy's mouth[7:17:00] I'd be doing mouth to mouth I'd go[7:17:02] sometimes I'd take a smoke[7:17:06] I'd have a conversation with a friend[7:17:08] cause we were hanging[7:17:10] and smoking[7:17:12] and then I'd forget that I'm doing the heimlich[7:17:14] to the guy I'd blow the smoke into a[7:17:16] dead batte[7:17:18] it'd do nothing I'd be arrested for[7:17:20] third degree responsibility[7:17:22] for his death[7:17:24] sucked I hate that[7:17:26] that's why I don't go to restaurants anymore[7:17:28] I cook at home if I go to a restaurant[7:17:30] either there's gonna be[7:17:32] um a full[7:17:34] death of somebody there[7:17:36] or a big calamity[7:17:38] where I'm responsible for somebody's death[7:17:40] they want rancid[7:17:42] what do they say sing the original[7:17:44] life is unfair I hate that song[7:17:46] and I[7:17:48] don't know much about the strokes Mike did you see[7:17:50] that new Patrice movie I think it's called[7:17:52] Godzilla vs Kong yeah[7:17:54] you got it he's both[7:17:56] nigga I'm[7:17:58] both[7:18:00] look at this venue Gino played up[7:18:02] this weekend they're saying here's an Instagram photo[7:18:04] there's probably gonna be a[7:18:06] picture of me looking fat[7:18:10] oh this is real look at this[7:18:12] this is a[7:18:14] venue Gino played[7:18:16] last week[7:18:18] and this is why I want to start documenting[7:18:20] all of his shows[7:18:22] I'm not kidding this is Gino[7:18:24] on stage[7:18:26] wait look at this[7:18:28] secret show[7:18:30] comedy this is[7:18:32] the audience it is a couch[7:18:34] with literally[7:18:36] this guy[7:18:38] I mean really this is[7:18:40] mid set[7:18:42] I'm not going into this that's like[7:18:44] Ethan Klein would fall for that not[7:18:46] me and[7:18:48] then you got this guy[7:18:50] again[7:18:52] talk about low hanging I mean this fruit is[7:18:54] hanging lower than me you ever[7:18:56] do this less people than the oathy[7:18:58] swearing show[7:19:00] and less professionally set up[7:19:02] this is a problem look these guys are so[7:19:04] burnt out that they've left some pizza[7:19:06] behind[7:19:08] I mean not since Green Day's[7:19:10] long view music[7:19:12] video yes someone in the chat says technically[7:19:14] I've played a show in the[7:19:16] last week based on these pics[7:19:18] I mean yeah anybody that's been around[7:19:20] two or more people you have[7:19:22] headlined a show this week[7:19:24] update your resume[7:19:26] this coffee table I mean you[7:19:28] couldn't get a set designer[7:19:30] to replicate[7:19:32] a better pad[7:19:34] than this[7:19:36] sometimes look at this a pizza box[7:19:38] on the ground over this man's boots[7:19:40] these are low[7:19:42] ride boots[7:19:44] what do you call these low profile[7:19:46] boots I mean that's[7:19:48] heinous get those[7:19:50] at Costco so this guy's[7:19:52] pizza boxes there they love pizza[7:19:54] these guys this is your[7:19:56] real show this is an event[7:19:58] um[7:20:00] let's see the good guys[7:20:02] okay how many people 37 people[7:20:04] saw this picture and said yep there's more[7:20:06] pictures of you oh wow let's[7:20:08] see there's Gino outside[7:20:10] with some of the fans[7:20:12] there he is again look at this[7:20:14] performing comedy[7:20:16] I mean should a lit microphone[7:20:18] be in a residential living[7:20:20] room should there be a purpose[7:20:22] I don't like that I don't like a microphone[7:20:24] and a living I've got[7:20:26] the studios in our house right now[7:20:28] it's very[7:20:30] far from our living room[7:20:32] I don't bring studio objects in[7:20:34] the living room and vice versa it seems[7:20:36] odd you know unless you're[7:20:38] doing garage band I want the[7:20:40] microphones out of the living room and I just want to remind everybody[7:20:42] this isn't Dave Chappelle[7:20:44] you all heard what Gino has to say[7:20:46] look at this you just heard his[7:20:48] set that he does I want to show you the crowd[7:20:50] meet Mitch[7:20:52] his[7:20:54] irresponsibleness[7:20:56] is hilarious[7:20:58] he's epic[7:21:00] meet[7:21:02] Rod[7:21:04] if it weren't for his wife[7:21:06] this guy would be killing it on[7:21:08] Thursdays[7:21:10] but you know Mary and[7:21:12] she makes him come home[7:21:14] okay and then look at this[7:21:16] guy[7:21:18] yo Steve[7:21:20] Steve[7:21:22] dude Steve's the shit[7:21:24] and he knows a thing or two about[7:21:26] automotive[7:21:28] work[7:21:30] you know[7:21:32] I just[7:21:34] back in the day you would show a photo[7:21:36] like this case[7:21:38] closed your honor[7:21:40] no more discussion[7:21:42] needs to be made Gino[7:21:44] is left with nothing[7:21:46] right you would think you would show a picture[7:21:48] like this and you'd get a call[7:21:50] this is what it should be[7:21:52] I show this picture on the show and then[7:21:54] oh my my phone[7:21:56] hold on let me take this[7:21:58] oh the governor[7:22:00] oh[7:22:02] Gino's not allowed on the internet anymore[7:22:04] because of what I showed[7:22:06] oh oh man that's awful[7:22:08] well thank you for telling me[7:22:10] thank you and then you never see[7:22:12] that's what should be happening[7:22:14] we're living in a[7:22:16] world so skewed where this[7:22:18] picture's allowed to exist and[7:22:20] everyone who knows Gino sees this[7:22:22] and then just gives it a like[7:22:24] and continues on[7:22:26] I mean look at this[7:22:28] stuff look at this[7:22:30] stuff they're drunk these guys[7:22:32] love being drunk[7:22:34] I mean imagine being drunk[7:22:36] with just guys what is the[7:22:38] fucking point isn't the point of being drunk so[7:22:40] you could uh[7:22:42] convince[7:22:44] chicks to fuck[7:22:46] why would you want to be drunk with just[7:22:48] four guys in this awful home[7:22:50] dude let's get drunk[7:22:52] and then I could like finally be around[7:22:54] this plant that I've always wanted[7:22:56] to like see what it's like being around drunk[7:22:58] what[7:23:00] this sucks[7:23:02] look at this floor I mean your living room[7:23:04] has linoleum[7:23:06] what kind of living room is this[7:23:08] even they're like[7:23:10] hey does the living room have carpet[7:23:12] well kinda[7:23:14] is it[7:23:16] carpet from the back of an old[7:23:18] Astrovan from the 80s[7:23:20] yes[7:23:22] okay well what kind of[7:23:24] flooring is generally[7:23:26] generally in the room so[7:23:28] it's like a tile[7:23:30] slate is very in so there[7:23:32] is like slate oh slate[7:23:34] oh that's cool some nice[7:23:36] off white a crew[7:23:38] imagine you come in you could[7:23:40] unpeel your floor[7:23:42] art deco patterns[7:23:44] yeah if your floor could come[7:23:46] unglued with a bic lighter[7:23:48] in 30 minutes of your time[7:23:50] you're living in a[7:23:52] linoleum stick on[7:23:54] land I[7:23:56] hate this place where'd you get these shoes[7:23:58] coals and it's not linoleum[7:24:00] either he thinks these are redidus[7:24:02] they're from[7:24:04] target[7:24:06] tardidus[7:24:08] look at these what are thems[7:24:10] he thinks these are doc[7:24:12] martins what are thems[7:24:14] look at these what are thems[7:24:16] he thinks these is doc martins he's got two[7:24:18] different shoes by the way this is a lace[7:24:20] up[7:24:22] you know nylon thing[7:24:24] and this is a doc martin style[7:24:26] boot he found two shoes[7:24:30] that's two different shoes bro[7:24:32] I'm telling you look at this look at the lace[7:24:34] lines here and this is like[7:24:36] a leather boot[7:24:38] with a doc martin style[7:24:40] like sole and this is[7:24:42] like a just a[7:24:44] gym shoe from like[7:24:46] sketchers[7:24:48] you're laughing at my mispronunciations[7:24:50] instead of my[7:24:52] you're laughing at it all[7:24:54] thank god[7:24:56] I'm getting all hyped up thinking it's[7:24:58] oh look at my observations are killing here[7:25:00] she's laughing at my mess ups[7:25:02] it's awful[7:25:04] stop that it's embarrassing for me[7:25:06] that's embarrassing for me and the show[7:25:08] and the guys[7:25:10] I'm just kidding look at this[7:25:12] then if you're out of mismatched[7:25:14] shoes hey come on down[7:25:16] you want a slice of pizza[7:25:18] you know[7:25:20] you want a slice of pizza[7:25:22] you know[7:25:24] I always try to think of when I'm like[7:25:26] naming characters like this Josh Denny[7:25:28] writing a script[7:25:30] dude I'm writing a script I'm Josh Denny[7:25:32] what should the character's name be[7:25:34] I don't know like Seth and Tyler[7:25:38] you know[7:25:40] if I'm naming a character[7:25:42] that's why I don't write movies[7:25:44] you know that's why I don't write shows[7:25:46] that's why I don't do this cause it's like[7:25:48] it would need to be a name[7:25:50] you've never heard right[7:25:52] I'd be embarrassed to name my main character[7:25:54] oh yeah that's Ted[7:25:56] like I always watch movies[7:25:58] and they're like the main character is[7:26:00] oh this is Zach[7:26:02] did you even think about it for more than three minutes[7:26:04] or did you just go we gotta come up with[7:26:06] isn't it the main guy of your movie[7:26:08] it's just you picked Zach[7:26:10] that's what you would name him[7:26:12] are you gay[7:26:14] for like 10 years or do you think that the world's worst[7:26:16] guy is named Josh Denny[7:26:18] but it's so perfect at the same time[7:26:20] exactly so like if I was making a movie[7:26:22] I'd spend like seven months on the[7:26:24] name of the one guy[7:26:26] you guys wanna know one of Mike's favorite[7:26:28] names in cinema[7:26:30] Jimmy Pesto[7:26:32] I love that Jimmy Pesto[7:26:34] that's from the Bob's Burgers[7:26:36] experience[7:26:38] I love that in Bob's Burgers[7:26:40] you know if there's nothing redeeming[7:26:42] everybody works for that show is[7:26:44] on the alt left[7:26:46] I hate them[7:26:48] trust me I want that burger stand[7:26:50] and the whole[7:26:52] wherever they are I want[7:26:54] done[7:26:56] but on Bob's Burgers[7:26:58] here's how I know those people are funny[7:27:00] across from Bob's Burgers[7:27:02] is another restaurant with a guy[7:27:04] that he's at Hod's with[7:27:06] and the restaurant[7:27:08] is called Jimmy Pesto's[7:27:10] and it's an Italian[7:27:12] joint right[7:27:14] like a full cheesy Italian[7:27:16] joint it's called Jimmy Pesto's[7:27:18] you would have loved Jean Parmesan[7:27:20] I love that[7:27:22] and to me[7:27:24] as far as you wanna say[7:27:26] where does comedy lie[7:27:28] subtle things like that to me[7:27:30] it's so cringe right Jimmy Pesto's[7:27:32] and the guy[7:27:34] you know I'm Jimmy Pesto[7:27:36] to me that's[7:27:38] funnier than a cartoon needs to be[7:27:40] it's funnier than I expect a cartoon[7:27:42] to be you know[7:27:44] and I appreciate those subtleties[7:27:46] of just something so stupid it's like[7:27:48] oh Jimmy Pesto of course[7:27:50] so I hope you realize[7:27:52] something like that[7:27:54] or what were we talking about?[7:27:56] well we could finish the spy tape[7:27:58] sure but I like these pictures too[7:28:00] I mean look at this[7:28:02] this is where you're supposed to live when you're 22[7:28:04] in Chicago bouncing[7:28:06] around by the time you're 25 you're supposed to get it together[7:28:08] these people are in their 50's[7:28:10] this right here is like[7:28:12] a 75 year old guy[7:28:14] get out[7:28:16] should he even own this[7:28:18] type of mask being so old[7:28:20] like what is that?[7:28:22] you should do an episode where you eat mushrooms and then just[7:28:24] look at these pictures for a full 8 hour[7:28:26] show I mean look at Geno's[7:28:28] setup here look at these shoes[7:28:30] these shoes were made[7:28:32] for wearing only a month[7:28:34] but that's not what Geno[7:28:36] does[7:28:38] Geno wears these shoes for like[7:28:40] so many years[7:28:42] or two[7:28:44] these look beat bro[7:28:46] these are underdeveloped shoes[7:28:48] for your I mean 50 years old you're wearing[7:28:50] these little Converse knockoffs[7:28:52] they're not even real tailors[7:28:54] he's going to places like[7:28:56] you got anything that look like Chuck Taylor[7:29:00] 39 bucks[7:29:02] thanks[7:29:04] so his hunt continues you see[7:29:06] as he runs through the fucking[7:29:08] outside his show hoe[7:29:10] what do they call that area with all those[7:29:12] tchotchke stands[7:29:14] he's running around got anything cheaper than[7:29:16] $39 for shoes[7:29:18] somebody finally[7:29:20] holds up a pair size 6[7:29:22] will they work he cuts out the backs[7:29:24] I mean Geno[7:29:26] is so poor how poor is he[7:29:28] he's flat broke[7:29:30] sounds like him huh[7:29:32] that's pretty good he's so fucking annoying[7:29:34] to me[7:29:36] spy report yes[7:29:38] there he is with his little booty[7:29:40] alright let's go back to this let's see what happens[7:29:42] here in the final moments[7:29:44] of shy report[7:29:46] Josh's report[7:29:48] or no Alex Brown[7:29:50] is he the shy or the spy[7:29:52] people are wondering what you think about the new[7:29:54] Lil Nas X song[7:29:56] Lil Nas X is a black[7:29:58] faggot that should have[7:30:00] never been allowed to be on[7:30:02] any speaker in the[7:30:04] United States[7:30:06] he sucks so bad[7:30:08] that I want to punish him in[7:30:10] hell raisers type of hell[7:30:12] where he's spinning and burning[7:30:14] on a kebab I want to melt his[7:30:16] skin off[7:30:18] in this reality[7:30:20] and go to jail for it[7:30:22] I hate him and I hate that[7:30:24] you bit on that stupid[7:30:26] remember when Jules showed me[7:30:28] oh you got to hear this hilarious song[7:30:30] from the Calgary Stampede[7:30:32] okay let's see how[7:30:34] fucking funny this is and it's[7:30:36] I got my horses in the back[7:30:38] a nigger in the trunk[7:30:40] letting my junk up[7:30:42] all up in my mosaic[7:30:44] and I'm going this sucks[7:30:46] what are you guys joking around[7:30:48] with this song and then the whole[7:30:50] world pretended oh we love it[7:30:52] oh we love it you love it[7:30:54] or it's the shittiest song you've ever heard[7:30:56] and it's a joke and that's why you love it[7:30:58] they don't even have the guts to go[7:31:00] oh did you hear this cringe ass[7:31:02] song that we're all obsessed with hearing[7:31:04] because it's so fucking terrible[7:31:06] so this is what the human beings of America[7:31:08] did oh I love Old Town[7:31:10] Road oh it's so good oh[7:31:12] that guy Lil Nas X is so talented I love[7:31:14] him let's bring him on Ellen let's pretend[7:31:16] he's a real musician[7:31:18] and now cut to now this is his song[7:31:20] load up close up[7:31:22] hold up[7:31:24] I never really knew it[7:31:26] but what did you think of his lap dance[7:31:28] that's the topic of conversation[7:31:30] well he lapped who am I[7:31:32] well Lil Nas X he lap danced[7:31:34] with something I never expected to see[7:31:36] you know[7:31:38] pretty graphic[7:31:40] Ben Shapiro[7:31:42] Ben Shapiro[7:31:44] Lil Nas X[7:31:46] if I could[7:31:48] go back in time and change one thing in the world[7:31:50] it would probably be to drop an[7:31:52] A bomb on the world before[7:31:54] his song came out seriously[7:31:56] hey Mike[7:31:58] if there's one thing you could go back in time it would do[7:32:00] um gain nuclear powers[7:32:02] and then drop like a huge[7:32:04] bomb on the whole world before[7:32:06] Lil Nas X's song came out[7:32:08] and that way the whole world's dead[7:32:10] before they could ever hear that[7:32:12] fucking crap I mean really[7:32:14] and the fact that you people entertain oh it's so fucking[7:32:16] funny what's so funny about it[7:32:18] what's so funny about it cause he's gay[7:32:20] and black if we never had[7:32:22] old town road we would have never got the[7:32:24] creeps with kids remix[7:32:26] pull that up[7:32:28] so I don't really agree with you here[7:32:30] pull that up um I hate[7:32:32] he's given me a lot I hate when[7:32:34] America wants to rip on[7:32:36] something but they're so pussy so they're like[7:32:38] I love it they love[7:32:40] who else do they love William Hung[7:32:42] from American Idol the retard Chinese[7:32:44] guy who literally went[7:32:46] on the top of the highway[7:32:48] cool wind in my head[7:32:50] and he's one of the top three[7:32:52] who is? Biggie[7:32:54] J Nas[7:32:56] Hung oh[7:32:58] wait Biggie J Nas[7:33:00] yeah yeah neither of them are retarded[7:33:02] no I'm saying[7:33:04] he's one of the top three who is?[7:33:06] Nas X[7:33:08] oh Lil Nas X yeah[7:33:10] yeah I actually like Biggie[7:33:12] Nas and uh[7:33:14] Tupac[7:33:16] I hope you do understand when I say[7:33:18] Nas I mean Lil Nas X[7:33:20] those are my thoughts here[7:33:22] so it's Biggie like all the deep cuts from Biggie[7:33:24] then all the stuff[7:33:26] from Tupac and then just[7:33:28] Lil Nas X[7:33:30] this is[7:33:32] Big Mike looking at Instagram[7:33:38] this is Big Mike looking at Instagram[7:33:44] mmm mmm[7:33:46] mmm mmm[7:33:48] mmm mmm[7:33:50] mmm mmm[7:33:52] see[7:33:54] I'm the scumbag[7:33:56] alright what are we doing here[7:33:58] girls guide me here[7:34:00] alright look at this video[7:34:02] here[7:34:04] you're like the worst troll[7:34:06] wait wait you came here alone[7:34:08] with a mission to troll the show[7:34:10] if[7:34:12] if you think that I feel worse[7:34:14] than you should[7:34:16] oh he goes you came[7:34:18] here alone to troll the[7:34:20] show Redbar[7:34:22] we stand are we alone[7:34:24] then you hear the roar of Redbar[7:34:26] all the listeners at home[7:34:28] yelling[7:34:30] yell out your window right now[7:34:34] you came here alone[7:34:36] to troll me you're like a super[7:34:38] fan this is what Josh says to him[7:34:40] does this look alone to you Josh[7:34:42] with all the lights and theatrics[7:34:44] and all the additional microphones[7:34:46] and perform[7:34:48] does this look like alone[7:34:50] this ain't alone fella[7:34:52] so um[7:34:54] that's his come imagine[7:34:56] if you saw me on stage and somebody[7:34:58] came to pick on me you came here alone[7:35:00] just to pick on me and I'm[7:35:02] loser um[7:35:04] he painted me[7:35:06] wouldn't you be like ooh Mike[7:35:08] not that[7:35:10] cool pretty fucking[7:35:12] gay performance[7:35:14] from Mike[7:35:16] how dare he make fun of[7:35:18] his only audience member no matter[7:35:20] why they're there so watch this[7:35:22] you came here alone with a mission[7:35:24] to troll the show[7:35:26] if you[7:35:28] think that I feel worse than[7:35:30] you should[7:35:32] then I'll tell you what I'm gonna do[7:35:34] I'm taking the proceeds from[7:35:36] tonight's show I'm buying you the[7:35:38] gun you've suffered[7:35:40] I'm taking the proceeds[7:35:42] from tonight's show and I'm buying[7:35:44] you the gun you desperately[7:35:46] need Josh does it[7:35:48] look like we need a gun around here[7:35:50] answer me now[7:35:52] why don't you put that[7:35:54] fucking barrel to my[7:35:56] face that's what I'm gonna start doing[7:35:58] and just so you know[7:36:00] Denny there was like 10 threads in the[7:36:02] BBG of hundreds of people[7:36:04] going Alex what's happening Alex[7:36:06] Alex tell us everything[7:36:08] and yeah yeah yeah[7:36:10] so Alex has way more fans[7:36:12] and whose leg is this whoever's[7:36:14] leg this is should also be[7:36:16] Alex oh Alex look at your leg[7:36:18] proceeds from tonight's[7:36:20] show I'm buying you the gun[7:36:22] you've suffered[7:36:30] oh so he's getting kicked out[7:36:32] no you can't come in and record the show[7:36:34] excuse me sir[7:36:36] I understand that and I'm not recording[7:36:38] a show as there is no show[7:36:40] happening thank you[7:36:42] that's why you need that ear[7:36:44] piece with me in it[7:36:46] we should get a website called[7:36:48] earpiece think about this[7:36:50] in the days of Dispo[7:36:52] Instagram[7:36:54] Trigger, Triller[7:36:56] TikTok imagine[7:36:58] this earpiece[7:37:00] the website where you[7:37:02] for a small fee can tap in and Mike[7:37:04] David will guide you through whatever[7:37:06] situation you're in oh my god surely the Bakers of Clubhouse[7:37:08] can create this earpiece[7:37:10] you tune into the app[7:37:12] and you go someone get[7:37:14] Michael Grew in on the phone well I gotta go to a wedding[7:37:16] I gotta talk to[7:37:18] Tash 1, 2, 3[7:37:20] I gotta go to a wedding[7:37:22] I gotta talk I gotta go to a wedding[7:37:24] I gotta talk to uh[7:37:26] the bride's[7:37:28] mom or something you know this is gonna[7:37:30] be terrible I have no idea what to say[7:37:32] to her so maybe Mike[7:37:34] can tell me uh in my ear and then[7:37:36] I'll I'll say stuff like this[7:37:38] okay so[7:37:40] uh can you hear me there[7:37:42] oh that's[7:37:44] so cool um yes[7:37:46] uh Mike Denny just said that he's[7:37:48] gonna donate all of the proceeds from[7:37:50] this show to buy me a gun[7:37:52] okay what you gotta do is stop talking[7:37:54] to me I talk to you and then you[7:37:56] repeat it there's people staring[7:37:58] at you now so they're all going[7:38:00] we died restart[7:38:02] okay go on[7:38:04] okay so you're in the wedding I'll tell you what to do[7:38:06] here I'm not at a wedding[7:38:08] I'm at Josh Denny's comedy show[7:38:10] oh yeah okay sure Josh Denny's comedy show[7:38:12] so he's on the stage right just uh put your[7:38:14] thumb up if he's on the stage[7:38:16] okay good[7:38:18] you're tuned into this app that I[7:38:20] built here[7:38:22] this is a big app for me where I just[7:38:24] work one-on-one with somebody sometimes[7:38:26] no offense but Denny is like yelling[7:38:28] at me right now so the app[7:38:30] isn't important at the moment[7:38:32] so what I want you to say to Denny is[7:38:34] you know oh hey Denny you know I'm[7:38:36] such a big fan of you how many years have[7:38:38] you been doing comedy there[7:38:40] okay[7:38:42] I said it and[7:38:44] he what do I say now[7:38:46] shut up[7:38:50] this app sucks[7:38:52] shut up[7:38:54] and that's what I would say to the customers too[7:38:56] what are you doing with this app[7:38:58] what are you doing with this shit[7:39:00] for what so you could get a word[7:39:02] in edgewise with some guys[7:39:04] you shouldn't be at the show stop showing[7:39:06] up this is terrible[7:39:08] shame on everyone involved[7:39:10] there's no app anymore[7:39:14] there is no app[7:39:18] I hate apps I've got[7:39:20] like four apps on my phone[7:39:22] they're constantly[7:39:24] trying to file me down[7:39:26] this path of downloading an app[7:39:28] I find it so sleazy and I go to a website[7:39:30] I go this looks like some[7:39:32] good stuff here let's click on this[7:39:34] andybaggis[7:39:36] dot com okay let's[7:39:38] click oh you got to download the[7:39:40] app here[7:39:44] you know and I'm a sucker[7:39:46] too I get sucked into maintaining[7:39:48] my apps[7:39:50] I went into apps I was like[7:39:52] taught about apps the completely wrong way[7:39:54] so when I got into apps it was like[7:39:56] oh dude you got to make sure you're rating[7:39:58] you're giving the developer feedback[7:40:00] it turns out I'm like this beta[7:40:02] employee for the fucking app[7:40:04] now I get like really[7:40:06] involved in apps I[7:40:08] was responsible for how they changed[7:40:10] Hulu's whole[7:40:12] homepage because[7:40:14] I'm so involved I really get[7:40:16] carried away[7:40:18] thank you[7:40:20] any more trolls here today with this[7:40:22] video here we're in the epic spy report[7:40:24] I mean so this is the one tape but there's also[7:40:26] a whole second tape from the second spy[7:40:28] I want to start[7:40:30] a uh yeah[7:40:32] a store called the ape store[7:40:34] it's not an app store[7:40:36] it is the app store[7:40:38] but it's called the ape store[7:40:40] I saw some guy write that in the chat[7:40:42] imagine that[7:40:44] dude do you uh[7:40:46] is there a way to get like um[7:40:48] an app version of[7:40:50] this rental car service[7:40:52] yeah do you have the ape store just go to your ape[7:40:54] store and then you click[7:40:56] on the ape store and it's literally just like[7:40:58] a shitty pixelated picture of[7:41:00] George Floyd, Brianna Taylor,[7:41:02] Kendrick Lamar you're like what[7:41:04] do I do and it's just three pictures[7:41:06] of them and then blank[7:41:08] space you go[7:41:10] what do I do you go[7:41:12] what do you think[7:41:14] you pick an ape[7:41:16] and then you just have to go[7:41:18] oh well I don't think any of them are apes[7:41:20] and they're like dude you gotta pick if you[7:41:22] want this[7:41:24] you know convenience please you gotta[7:41:26] follow through here so you gotta go oh man[7:41:28] I feel awful here and this is being taped[7:41:30] and shown to the world[7:41:32] and your family and your office[7:41:34] and uh you gotta pick between Kendrick Lamar[7:41:36] George Floyd and Brianna Taylor it's like fuck, marry, kill[7:41:38] but it's who is the biggest ape[7:41:40] so you go oh I don't know[7:41:42] man but I need this app I'm just gonna[7:41:44] go with Kendrick[7:41:46] everything's going crazy[7:41:48] the whole bravo[7:41:50] the bravo network[7:41:52] runs out there interviewing you you've[7:41:54] done it now[7:41:56] you know they're all going crazy[7:41:58] you call Kendrick Lamar an ape[7:42:00] oh I thought it was[7:42:02] how you access this app[7:42:04] why would that be[7:42:06] it's simply your friend played a prank on[7:42:08] you you were in your photos app[7:42:10] for god sakes just clicking on a picture[7:42:12] that he made[7:42:14] it's not an[7:42:16] app like that[7:42:18] how could it make it through[7:42:20] the process[7:42:22] and[7:42:24] it is its own[7:42:26] apps okay this is[7:42:28] oh my god this is how Patrick[7:42:30] Mountain must feel every time he comes up with a[7:42:32] funny thing you're sick it's fine[7:42:34] I'm sick it's fine okay any more of this tape[7:42:36] we have the other[7:42:38] spy tape you should keep watching[7:42:40] because there's like 10 more seconds[7:42:42] watch this[7:42:54] I want this to be what in New York[7:42:56] my legend in New York[7:42:58] ha I want this to be[7:43:00] my legend in New York[7:43:02] Josh Jenny affixed the only audience[7:43:04] member that actually paid to be[7:43:06] that's a dish on you[7:43:08] and don't you think maybe[7:43:10] the club is kind of mad[7:43:12] yeah like don't you feel any shame like[7:43:14] did you apologize to the restaurant[7:43:16] this is the only guy buying hundreds of drinks[7:43:18] I mean literally it's more work[7:43:20] for the restaurant to have a server come in[7:43:22] and make six bucks tonight[7:43:24] so they made a waitress go around to the two guys[7:43:26] they literally made[7:43:28] a waitress come in and she goes[7:43:30] do I get any hour no[7:43:32] tips and she has to stand[7:43:34] there and the two spies[7:43:36] she's like do you want anything to do[7:43:38] no we're not drinking we're here to[7:43:40] spy actually she's[7:43:42] standing there you got the waitress standing there[7:43:44] all night I'd like to make a few[7:43:46] dollars here sorry it's not possible[7:43:48] these two are spies[7:43:50] they don't drink and Alex did say[7:43:52] that he drove there and he was so drunk[7:43:54] that he that the[7:43:56] owner of this restaurant[7:43:58] paid for him to take an Uber home[7:44:00] wow really that's what he said in his[7:44:02] email to you can we call the restaurant did we[7:44:04] try that yeah remember[7:44:06] no we called the girl a cunt[7:44:08] and she hung up do you think they've[7:44:10] changed shifts yet by[7:44:12] any chance or a same[7:44:14] girl because two times[7:44:16] on the same girl is like a harassment[7:44:18] mean I always[7:44:20] get nervous when it's a girl yeah when it's a[7:44:22] girl and you're now you're what are you doing[7:44:24] here hurting her yeah[7:44:26] one time you could say anything[7:44:28] you want to a girl if you continue[7:44:30] to go back to the same girl and say[7:44:32] horrific things then you're a[7:44:34] herter of her[7:44:36] you shouldn't do that I[7:44:38] won't do that but if you[7:44:40] could tell me that there's a possibility[7:44:42] of a shift change I[7:44:44] could just allow myself[7:44:46] to think there was a complete shift change[7:44:48] and that's not the same girl[7:44:50] that's totally up to you[7:44:52] up to me yeah[7:44:54] I think[7:44:56] it's up to you[7:44:58] Jules hates[7:45:00] when I prank call the people[7:45:02] that were at the restaurant seeing[7:45:04] so we'll be like at a restaurant[7:45:06] and it sucks so bad I'll be like[7:45:08] please I'll go Jules[7:45:10] let me prank the restaurant[7:45:12] and she goes stop[7:45:14] no and I[7:45:16] go please it'll be[7:45:18] just and[7:45:20] she's like stop[7:45:22] that's not true and I go hi[7:45:24] Jules is there a table with a blonde[7:45:26] girl and a guy there[7:45:28] with like grayish hair and a beard[7:45:30] they have a bomb[7:45:36] and then when the waiter comes[7:45:38] they go oh sorry we had a call[7:45:40] I don't want to go yeah[7:45:42] yeah I've got a bomb with[7:45:44] me you better[7:45:46] get the fuck out of[7:45:48] here you got about 10 minutes before[7:45:50] this place levels[7:45:52] and then the police[7:45:54] rush and I go guys I do not[7:45:56] have a bomb why would I have a bomb[7:45:58] here[7:46:00] these waiters and then I[7:46:02] pin it I try to frame the waiter[7:46:04] and the person you know[7:46:08] did this at a restaurant called Flemings[7:46:10] a few months ago[7:46:12] we were out[7:46:14] on a beautiful trip[7:46:16] we went to a restaurant called[7:46:18] Flemings[7:46:20] in[7:46:22] Madison[7:46:24] Wisconsin actually[7:46:26] and[7:46:32] it was good[7:46:36] alright so we[7:46:38] are watching this Josh[7:46:40] Denny spy[7:46:42] report this is really really good[7:46:44] stuff and we've actually[7:46:46] got another angle[7:46:48] so what you saw here were some crazy[7:46:50] wacky cuts right[7:46:52] you saw some wacky cuts[7:46:54] you didn't really get the full picture but you saw Josh[7:46:56] yelling at our shy or[7:46:58] our pry depending on what you consider[7:47:00] now we're going to see the other[7:47:02] angle we're actually going to see the uncut[7:47:04] footage of what[7:47:06] Josh was saying I believe[7:47:08] the shy was actually kind of embarrassed[7:47:10] at first the shy[7:47:12] was embarrassed to be in front of the pry[7:47:14] or vice versa[7:47:16] so we're going to see that[7:47:18] very tape[7:47:20] and we're going to see what we can learn from here[7:47:22] and this is Anand[7:47:24] am I getting that right?[7:47:26] Anand[7:47:28] he's one of the stars of the BBG[7:47:30] you know this whole time and I feel bad about this[7:47:32] this Alex Brown[7:47:34] he's the shy or the pry[7:47:36] I said it's up for debate who you think is who[7:47:38] but I consider Anand the pry[7:47:40] I felt so bad this morning[7:47:42] it took me two days to realize[7:47:44] when I was talking to Alex Brown I thought[7:47:46] it was a fake profile picture and that that[7:47:48] was Anand[7:47:50] the whole time when I was doing all my[7:47:52] talkings with Alex I was talking to him[7:47:54] as if he was Anand[7:47:56] so Alex[7:47:58] I might take back some of those things I said[7:48:00] so I was basing you on this[7:48:02] Indian guy[7:48:04] and what the Indian guy would do[7:48:06] if that makes any sense[7:48:08] so it was like you never talk[7:48:10] to me to begin with[7:48:12] that feels good to you[7:48:14] alright let's check out this Anand[7:48:16] tape now Anand is not[7:48:18] the same as a cop[7:48:20] you should show this adorable picture[7:48:22] that Anand posted to reveal[7:48:24] that he was there and it really shows a great[7:48:26] scene and Anand is one of our great[7:48:28] Indians he is a complete[7:48:30] Indian meaning[7:48:32] I mean if you were in Pakistan[7:48:34] and you saw a motherfucker[7:48:36] on a scooter with like a jacked[7:48:38] smile just running around[7:48:40] and like horrible[7:48:42] dress clothes what are you talking about[7:48:44] that's like he's like a streetwear[7:48:46] king oh he is a[7:48:48] Gen Z god[7:48:50] are you serious[7:48:52] I love him every Indian[7:48:54] person I picture in like very[7:48:56] loose floppy[7:48:58] like 70s[7:49:00] dress shirts and[7:49:02] brown slacks and they're on like a[7:49:04] scooter in the dirtiest city I've[7:49:06] ever seen[7:49:08] laughing it up as if the world's[7:49:10] not crumbling before[7:49:12] they're okay that's not him[7:49:14] this guy is like he's hip he's[7:49:16] cool he's a teen he's out[7:49:18] on the scene he knows what's what[7:49:20] he's popping[7:49:22] he's the great guy so let's[7:49:24] we're gonna watch his meme[7:49:26] first is this in the chat[7:49:28] I can't wait to see this Anand[7:49:30] made a meme and let's see[7:49:32] hopefully people are following this[7:49:34] Anand Anand[7:49:36] So this is his view[7:49:38] How do you say his last name?[7:49:40] This nut's last name by the way how do you say this?[7:49:42] Piraka[7:49:44] And I bet he eats[7:49:46] halal he follows his whole[7:49:48] family's dream all these[7:49:50] Indians you know before you start[7:49:52] befriending an Indian[7:49:54] check them out for a bit because you know what they do[7:49:56] they're like in love with their families[7:49:58] like an Indian person if they have a[7:50:00] birthday they spend like 15 days[7:50:02] with their entire extended family[7:50:04] partying in Alibaba[7:50:06] world dancing it[7:50:08] up in dresses that is[7:50:10] no friend of mine[7:50:12] Anand sticks up for us[7:50:14] in the Legion of Skanks group[7:50:16] every day oh yeah[7:50:18] well that's good but you know what I'll tell you this[7:50:20] Indian kids need to start standing[7:50:22] up to their wacko jacko parents[7:50:24] like yeah[7:50:26] every day can't be a big[7:50:28] Bollywood brawl[7:50:30] where you're all wearing shiny[7:50:32] heel and running around like[7:50:34] crazy people he says his parents hate him[7:50:36] exactly and your parents if you're[7:50:38] Indian your parents will hate you unless you[7:50:40] follow their zany wacky[7:50:42] stinky ass[7:50:44] culture all around town[7:50:46] he probably smoked at his Indian dinners[7:50:48] oh an Indian whenever Indian fathers[7:50:50] think that you're like their property[7:50:52] till they're 70 and dead[7:50:54] it's so strange they have a wedding[7:50:56] and it's like a 70 week[7:50:58] celebration every night[7:51:00] spending 20 grand on[7:51:02] some get together we're all dancing[7:51:04] in a shitty[7:51:06] shitty you've seen that episode of The Office[7:51:08] where Kelly has a wedding[7:51:10] not[7:51:12] my style[7:51:14] really not my style this whole[7:51:16] Indian culture is not my style[7:51:18] from the food to the look[7:51:20] and[7:51:22] Indian kids though even Akash[7:51:24] who's like the hippest Indian[7:51:26] you could think of[7:51:28] who's the guy that was just on Glassman[7:51:30] he was very[7:51:32] fancy and prince like[7:51:34] Hasan Minhaj[7:51:36] and you've got Akash from[7:51:38] the flagrant to Andrew[7:51:40] Shultz show and then you've got[7:51:42] probably none of these people are actually[7:51:44] Indian at all[7:51:46] something it's like Akkad[7:51:48] Azir[7:51:50] Air near[7:51:52] shut the fuck up you weirdo peanut[7:51:54] people get[7:51:56] out of here and[7:51:58] I say this is a half joke but[7:52:00] I also say it as a warning[7:52:02] get these fuckers out of here[7:52:04] imagine if I came to Bangladesh[7:52:06] and started acting like an[7:52:08] asshole like this you'd[7:52:10] flip imagine I come to Bangalore[7:52:12] hey where all the white people at[7:52:14] where my hot dogs[7:52:16] and what representation they go[7:52:18] shut the fuck up you're ruining our whole[7:52:20] temple vibe with this[7:52:22] Chicago accent you know[7:52:24] and then it's like we let a[7:52:26] million Indians here they're mucking the whole[7:52:28] place up I can't even walk down they're doing[7:52:30] amazing work getting the Josh[7:52:32] Denny spy tapes for us[7:52:34] Indian people either[7:52:36] can provide you with some of the best food[7:52:38] ever or some of the worst[7:52:40] versions of American food[7:52:42] you've ever dreamt of[7:52:44] like think about a hot dog think about[7:52:46] your favorite hot dog now[7:52:48] think about the exact[7:52:50] opposite of that well[7:52:52] I welcome you to the wonderful[7:52:54] sickening world[7:52:56] of halal[7:52:58] I don't know what halal[7:53:00] is but to me it's a warning[7:53:02] and it says[7:53:04] you know what halal means to me in English[7:53:06] turn around[7:53:08] turn around[7:53:10] run[7:53:12] that's what halal if you[7:53:14] translate it into Mike David[7:53:16] turn back[7:53:18] beware[7:53:21] have you ever been into one of these[7:53:23] oh great burgers[7:53:25] and hot dogs this sounds[7:53:27] great it's two in the morning you're Indian[7:53:29] I'll take one[7:53:34] you've never had a[7:53:36] burger before have you[7:53:38] you're spitting out like what looks like[7:53:40] bird seed smashed[7:53:46] is this all pork[7:53:48] what the fuck kind of blend[7:53:50] is this this is absolutely[7:53:52] disgusting[7:53:54] I mean it's like worse than high school[7:53:56] cafeteria like microwaved[7:53:58] food halal[7:54:00] and they're running these restaurants[7:54:02] serving up all[7:54:04] you get a kebab there have you ever had beef[7:54:06] kebab from one of these places this is halal[7:54:08] and big red text[7:54:10] warning you to get the fuck out[7:54:12] halal[7:54:14] you eat the[7:54:16] oh we've got filet mignon kebab[7:54:18] oh yeah filet mignon yeah sure[7:54:22] you're shawing through this[7:54:24] you know well done[7:54:26] tri-tip unmarinated[7:54:28] like[7:54:30] substance here but perfectly[7:54:32] square cubes by the way[7:54:34] and you're going this guy[7:54:36] this is not filet it's[7:54:38] perfectly white[7:54:40] you know what I mean it's[7:54:42] so fucking white[7:54:44] you go sir I[7:54:46] someone just commented Mike[7:54:48] should be on CNN[7:54:50] and I was thinking imagine cutting[7:54:52] from the regular CNN[7:54:54] programming right to this[7:54:56] moment as you are right what would be wrong with that it seems[7:54:58] like finally they'd be getting some answers[7:55:00] over CNN[7:55:02] and a fan ooga booga[7:55:04] alright uh[7:55:06] anod pakari makes a meme[7:55:08] remember we go back to now he's considered[7:55:10] the pry or the shy I consider[7:55:12] him the pry because of he's[7:55:14] more calm like the shy[7:55:16] your first instinct is to go[7:55:18] alex is the pry because[7:55:20] he's so loud but I think he's actually the[7:55:22] shy because he was only so loud because he was[7:55:24] so nervous and anon[7:55:26] kept it together anon is the pry[7:55:28] anon is actually the guy we should[7:55:30] all try to blame and look[7:55:32] out for wait there's not a guy[7:55:34] to look out for or blame these[7:55:36] both guys are good we're not[7:55:38] it's not up for debate whether or not these[7:55:40] listeners need to be good and bad[7:55:42] they're both amazing you know I got it in my[7:55:44] head while doing the segment that one of these listeners[7:55:46] needs to go down[7:55:48] they're both like 10 out of 10 guys[7:55:50] you know I'm glad that I remembered[7:55:52] that because they don't deserve[7:55:54] any they've been great whether[7:55:56] this is the message here whether you're[7:55:58] more of a shy or more of a pry[7:56:00] a spy report is still[7:56:02] valuable for me a spy report is[7:56:04] valuable if you went[7:56:06] to the venue showed up at the wrong one[7:56:08] tripped fell broke your phone[7:56:10] and then just texted me the letter[7:56:12] D[7:56:14] I still like that[7:56:16] oh well it's a spy report so[7:56:18] one guy in the chat was[7:56:20] like Jules what kind of food does[7:56:22] Mike like to eat[7:56:24] and then another guy goes Mike likes[7:56:26] oatmeal steak strips[7:56:28] ribs and burgers Mike occasionally[7:56:30] eats nuts and fruit he doesn't really[7:56:32] like cheese steak[7:56:34] strips that's pretty accurate[7:56:36] steak strips[7:56:38] that guy's gotta be from a different country[7:56:40] what guy said that about me[7:56:42] Mike likes steak[7:56:44] strips[7:56:46] seeds nuts[7:56:48] leggings what is a lemming[7:56:50] leggings[7:56:52] he likes straw[7:56:56] what the fuck[7:56:58] steak strips I[7:57:00] didn't hear anything past steak strips[7:57:02] oatmeal steak ribs[7:57:04] oatmeal and steak is what I[7:57:06] eat ribs burgers[7:57:08] nuts fruit[7:57:10] no cheese is what they say[7:57:12] and that's pretty close wait let me think[7:57:14] nuts fruit burgers or steak strip[7:57:16] which is I get[7:57:18] like a New York strip and I cut it in strips[7:57:20] and I'll just cook one[7:57:22] thin strip like a fajita[7:57:24] and I that's my dinner[7:57:26] steak strips[7:57:28] everyone knows my classic steak[7:57:30] strips and then what else do I eat[7:57:32] oatmeal as an app[7:57:34] so before my big steak I heat[7:57:36] up some instant oatmeal for 30[7:57:38] seconds on high[7:57:40] and then I eat that and before[7:57:42] I eat the last bite I[7:57:44] oh and the username of the guy who said that was[7:57:46] red bar clippers so[7:57:48] he would probably know everything about you oh good I'm glad he's in charge[7:57:50] sounds like we got a good guy in charge of some[7:57:52] of our famous clips[7:57:54] no cheese hot dogs he[7:57:56] eats well you'll see what I'll eat next[7:57:58] so we got a secret show coming up called[7:58:00] nobody likes hot dogs[7:58:02] oh my god it's gonna be so good this big mic[7:58:04] stuff the Jason Alice[7:58:06] thing it's gonna be so you're gonna turn[7:58:08] on the show and as soon as the camera cuts to me[7:58:10] it's gonna be so good that's all you need[7:58:12] to know wait till you[7:58:14] see how many hot dogs I'm gonna put down[7:58:16] and at the very least[7:58:18] wait till you see how many hot dogs I'm willing to[7:58:20] buy and heat up[7:58:22] okay because[7:58:24] regardless of how many I eat[7:58:26] hundreds will be cooked[7:58:28] and wasted[7:58:30] on this miraculous[7:58:32] stupid day where[7:58:34] I in fact eat maybe one or two hot[7:58:36] dogs[7:58:38] but we'll be eating hot dogs and[7:58:40] discussing big mics errors[7:58:42] from the last two months[7:58:44] how fun is that I'm just[7:58:46] hanging out with a guy he's got a couple of hot dogs[7:58:48] enough with the drinking everywhere[7:58:50] you hang out with people you open up[7:58:52] uh six hot dogs yeah[7:58:54] I've been talking about big mic stuff in like a month and he's done[7:58:56] so much stuff there's like unlimited[7:58:58] unlimited big mic stuff[7:59:00] so we said we're gonna come up with a special[7:59:02] show to one[7:59:04] off called nobody likes hot[7:59:06] dogs it's a big mic[7:59:08] special but it also[7:59:10] it's gonna be hundreds of hot dogs[7:59:12] here I could promise you this[7:59:14] in this room[7:59:16] will be hundreds[7:59:18] of hot dogs[7:59:20] cooked[7:59:24] that to me if I[7:59:26] were a red burly I'd be like all I need[7:59:28] to see is the still[7:59:30] if it's mic and then somehow[7:59:32] a hundred hot dogs[7:59:34] then getting to post that screenshot[7:59:36] of the show where it's just you[7:59:38] beside a big thing hot dogs is gonna feel[7:59:40] so good I'm gonna have so many hot dogs[7:59:42] that I'm gonna have rooms in this[7:59:44] house filled with uncooked[7:59:46] hot dogs that I've extra bought[7:59:48] just to[7:59:50] for my own sake I think we might have to get another fridge[7:59:52] for this event well there's gonna be no fridge[7:59:54] we're gonna be by all the hot dogs the night[7:59:56] before they're gonna be slow cooking[7:59:58] till eight[8:00:00] in the morning and then I think I'm gonna do the show.[8:00:01] These are smoked hot dogs.[8:00:03] Each one gets a spritz of apple cider vinegar.[8:00:06] Each one perfectly tended to.[8:00:09] It's just taken me hours.[8:00:11] And so it's gonna be, you get to see me eat so many hot dogs[8:00:18] which I did this hamburger eating contest[8:00:21] with myself once on the show.[8:00:24] I must add 75, 80 hamburgers, double hamburgers.[8:00:28] Oh yes.[8:00:29] So what's 80 times two, 140.[8:00:32] And I probably ate 140 burgers that day.[8:00:36] Probably 200 orders of fries.[8:00:40] And then I had probably 60 to 100 nuggets.[8:00:47] About 50 barbecue sauces.[8:00:51] I'm really, I like pushing myself.[8:00:53] You know, I try to push myself with the performances.[8:00:55] I try to push myself with, you know,[8:00:57] I always say to people, I go, oh, this guy had two hot dogs.[8:01:00] I was at this restaurant, this guy got two hot dogs.[8:01:02] I couldn't believe it.[8:01:04] They go, oh, well, how many hot dogs do you have?[8:01:05] At least six or seven is what I eat, you know, as a snack.[8:01:10] Six or seven, they go, no way.[8:01:12] They go, okay.[8:01:14] And then I challenge myself, I'll eat 160 hot dogs.[8:01:19] I don't care.[8:01:23] And you know, people think that I'm gonna show up[8:01:25] with a mini, imagine if I was such an asshole,[8:01:27] I'd show up with those mini franks.[8:01:30] What do you call those for the little, the mini dogs?[8:01:34] You know, you would get the little summer sauce.[8:01:36] Yeah, cocktail wieners.[8:01:37] Cocktail wieners.[8:01:37] No, sir.[8:01:39] These are gonna be big, heavy fucking franks from Costco.[8:01:44] Double the size of, well, no, they're gonna be actual[8:01:47] regular size hot dogs, nothing big.[8:01:49] Like a Nathan's, right?[8:01:53] Yeah.[8:01:54] Like a Nathan's.[8:01:55] Of course.[8:01:55] Well, I don't know what brand we're gonna do.[8:01:57] Nathan's is the best one, other than Vienna Beef.[8:01:59] I spent $78 on those Vienna Beef hot dogs that we got.[8:02:02] They weren't worth that money.[8:02:04] They weren't worth it, so I shipped them in from Chicago[8:02:07] to here, you can't get a hot dog out here.[8:02:08] You go get a hot dog, they're giving you some pork.[8:02:11] Weirdo thing.[8:02:13] So I order the, you go to Vienna Beef's website,[8:02:16] they make you order like a big bulk order,[8:02:21] so they made you order three packs,[8:02:25] which I thought was gonna be a lot,[8:02:25] and that was like 58, and by the time with shipping[8:02:28] and tax, it was like $78.[8:02:31] At the end of the day, what did we get?[8:02:32] Three hot dog events out of this, $78, and it's gone.[8:02:37] And they didn't blow my mind either.[8:02:38] And they weren't that good.[8:02:39] So shame on you, Vienna Beef.[8:02:42] All right, should we get into this next,[8:02:44] oh, do we wanna see the meme here?[8:02:46] Yes, this is, well, it's not a meme, it's just a pic.[8:02:48] This is just Anand's point of view from what he saw,[8:02:51] and this is Denny accosting the shy.[8:02:54] Wow, look at this.[8:02:56] I think my version of events differs[8:02:59] from what Alex has been saying, maybe just a bit.[8:03:03] And look at this, it's a picture from our second spy,[8:03:07] our second angle here today.[8:03:10] So this was the first spy that we just watched.[8:03:15] Alex Brown, good-looking guy.[8:03:17] You were right.[8:03:18] Look at this cutie.[8:03:19] That's our first spy.[8:03:22] Up in the front row, screaming go[8:03:24] with your 17-year-old uncle.[8:03:26] And I think he is holding out his phone[8:03:28] to Denny at this moment.[8:03:29] I think Denny's going, why are you filming?[8:03:31] He goes, it's my phone.[8:03:33] It's now or never.[8:03:36] It ain't gonna ring forever.[8:03:39] I just wanna take this call alone.[8:03:43] It's my phone.[8:03:47] How fucking funny is that parody?[8:03:50] Instead of It's My Life, get that.[8:03:52] Get that song.[8:03:53] They're gonna die.[8:03:55] Instead of It's My Life by that band, it's my phone.[8:04:00] The best part of shows like this is,[8:04:02] since you made such a big deal about this[8:04:04] on your Instagram and stuff,[8:04:05] I like to imagine Denny and Geno tuning in[8:04:08] to see what we're gonna say.[8:04:10] Again, yeah, Denny and Geno are tuning in,[8:04:12] thinking it's some big expose about them.[8:04:14] They gotta sit through eight hours of my fantasies.[8:04:19] It's my phone.[8:04:21] I'm telling you, this is gonna be so funny.[8:04:23] People are loving it.[8:04:25] Test one, two, three, four, five, six, seven.[8:04:27] They're so stupid.[8:04:30] Go on, where's the song?[8:04:32] I send it to you in a message.[8:04:35] It's my own line.[8:04:36] I gotta come up with some lyrics here.[8:04:38] Oh, it's behind you, it's behind you.[8:04:40] Where is it?[8:04:40] It's behind you, it's behind you.[8:04:41] Oh.[8:04:45] Does that sound right?[8:04:48] In a song for the broken heart.[8:04:49] I needed a different version.[8:04:51] I understand, but that's not a good version.[8:04:53] It sounds very pixelated.[8:04:55] I know, it's horrible.[8:04:56] Send me another version.[8:04:57] Wait, here, hold on, there's another version.[8:04:58] Yeah, of course, this is a big hit.[8:04:59] Apologies.[8:05:00] So it's about the phone, right?[8:05:02] What did I say about?[8:05:03] It's my phone.[8:05:04] It's my phone, it's.[8:05:05] They ain't gonna wait forever.[8:05:07] Okay, it's my phone.[8:05:09] Okay, let's see if I can do this.[8:05:11] Here you go, it's my phone.[8:05:12] Okay, and the lights and the stuff.[8:05:16] ["This Ain't a Song for the Broken Hearted"][8:05:24] This ain't a song for the broken hearted.[8:05:32] No silent prayer for the faith departed.[8:05:37] ["This Ain't a Song for the Broken Hearted"][8:06:08] Hey, phone is Verizon, and it's an LG version.[8:06:15] I just want to talk on this call alone.[8:06:20] It's my phone.[8:06:24] Thank you.[8:06:30] Call waiting beeps and this guy's all pissed off.[8:06:38] Just one second while I get this guy off.[8:06:46] Tomorrow I've got some big appointments.[8:06:50] This phone's got me tied up with a lot of arrangements.[8:06:54] Oh![8:06:55] It's my phone.[8:06:58] I'm sorry it's ringing.[8:07:01] My life is pretty damning.[8:07:05] I just want to take this call alone.[8:07:10] It's my phone.[8:07:13] My phone is like this really crazy receiver[8:07:18] where people call me.[8:07:21] I just want to take this call alone.[8:07:26] It's my phone.[8:07:36] Ring ring![8:07:37] Ah, you guys know.[8:07:39] I hate these things, huh?[8:07:42] There's always someone on the phone[8:07:44] that'll stand tall while Sprint is trying[8:07:49] because they won't back down from their deal of the month.[8:07:54] It's my phone.[8:07:56] I've picked a great plan.[8:07:59] No one's going to break my bank now.[8:08:03] I just want to call my friends for long.[8:08:08] It's my phone.[8:08:11] My phone is like a really cool product.[8:08:15] It's black and it's glass and it's large.[8:08:19] I just want to make a text tonight[8:08:24] with my phone.[8:08:27] And I know that it's outdated,[8:08:31] but I think it's really kind of great.[8:08:35] I just want to make a local call[8:08:40] with my phone.[8:08:45] With my phone.[8:08:48] My cell phone.[8:08:51] I bought it at a cell phone store, yeah.[8:08:55] Best Buy doesn't sell them anymore.[8:09:01] Yes![8:09:05] And I'm even embarrassed of that.[8:09:12] Oh, dude.[8:09:14] I'm sorry for anyone who had to hear that[8:09:16] because I think it's my fault that you even think that's funny.[8:09:19] Chill, chill, chill.[8:09:21] For some reason there's something about a G-rated parody.[8:09:25] A nice parody, don't go too far.[8:09:28] This brings out the tears.[8:09:31] Life needs more parody, man.[8:09:33] To me, parody is everything.[8:09:35] You do a nice, simple parody song.[8:09:37] You don't take it too far.[8:09:40] And it should come to you naturally.[8:09:43] That's why I'm always constantly thinking of food parodies.[8:09:46] I open the fridge.[8:09:47] There's something wrong with my friends today.[8:09:50] Exactly.[8:09:51] Weird Al.[8:09:53] Living in the fridge.[8:09:54] I like a food parody.[8:09:56] I think nothing respects music better than doing a parody[8:10:01] but just about some shitty fucking food.[8:10:03] Not like what's funnier than making a parody about something[8:10:06] that's just nothing and there's no joke to it other than it's my fault.[8:10:12] Very amusing people.[8:10:13] Some people like it, some people it's too far.[8:10:16] Okay, so what do we got here?[8:10:17] I feel like that's directly from me.[8:10:18] We got some pictures here from Anad Makhat.[8:10:20] I imagine Denny's got to sift through all of this.[8:10:24] Can you turn the lights back on?[8:10:25] Oh, sorry.[8:10:26] Denny, he's got to watch this.[8:10:27] Geno's got to watch this because they've heard they've been talked about here.[8:10:31] They got to sift through all of this.[8:10:33] Imagine if you hate me, you got to listen to all this crap.[8:10:38] You know?[8:10:40] Good luck.[8:10:41] That's what I tell my enemies.[8:10:43] Oh, you would like to hear what I have to say?[8:10:45] Here it is.[8:10:46] It's eight hours.[8:10:49] I'll start talking about you and then stop for about three hours[8:10:54] while I talk about a fantasy and then maybe I get back to you.[8:10:57] Clippers, if you edit together the spy tape and leave out it's my phone, I'm throwing hands.[8:11:02] Why would you leave out it's my phone?[8:11:03] Oh, we'll get copyright striked.[8:11:06] So here is the other angle, which I think is so great from this shy report.[8:11:13] You got Josh Denny on his dojo state.[8:11:16] Remember, this is the dojo, guys.[8:11:18] This is where comedy gets serious.[8:11:19] This is where you get your black belt in comedy, right?[8:11:22] The comedy dojo.[8:11:25] It's where serious comics come to wear their coats and jackets to cover up their breasts to do really edgy stuff.[8:11:34] And again, here are the comics back here.[8:11:36] These two knuckleheads.[8:11:39] And here's our spy number one.[8:11:42] Now how did Anand get invited to hang out in the comics?[8:11:45] Cool table.[8:11:46] Well, that's cool.[8:11:47] See, Anand knows better.[8:11:48] Here's spy number one.[8:11:49] Nervous.[8:11:50] Nervous.[8:11:51] This is the guys getting, uh, what is he getting a drink?[8:11:54] Uh, what did we call that?[8:11:55] Tequila.[8:11:56] Tequila.[8:11:57] Okay.[8:11:58] That's what they said.[8:11:59] He's not a drinker.[8:12:00] He can't go to a place alone and start drinking.[8:12:03] It's gonna feel extremely weird.[8:12:06] So he started doing that.[8:12:07] And again, they got him sitting in this bright room, you know, like cube.[8:12:12] And they got him sitting there for three, four hours before he goes, imagine any of you drinking.[8:12:17] And they're making you drink after drink.[8:12:19] You gotta drink these tonics.[8:12:22] And you're sitting in the room for four hours.[8:12:23] They finally invite the comedy on.[8:12:25] Yeah, you are a little.[8:12:27] I mean, I empathize with him.[8:12:28] Oh, yeah.[8:12:29] I mean, I wouldn't be able to do it.[8:12:30] I only had one and a half drinks today and I just cried at, it's my phone.[8:12:33] But what an epic shot.[8:12:34] You know, this is like the shot of Ali Akbar Boxer.[8:12:38] What is his name?[8:12:39] Anand.[8:12:40] No, the boxer.[8:12:41] The, uh, you know, he's always got a black and white picture of his black ass punching out some guy.[8:12:47] What do they call that boxer that everybody love?[8:12:49] Muhammad Ali.[8:12:50] Muhammad Ali.[8:12:51] This is like one of those Muhammad Ali photos where you go look at this epic photo and people go, well, what's so epic about it?[8:12:59] Why is it valued at such a high price?[8:13:02] Well, you see, this photo is actually being taken by the second spy.[8:13:07] Yes.[8:13:08] Showing the first back that to me adds value.[8:13:13] That's art.[8:13:14] Look at this.[8:13:15] It's a photo.[8:13:16] You know, at first there's nothing out of the ordinary.[8:13:18] It's just some people at a comedy show, but that guy's a spy.[8:13:21] But the photo is being taken by the second spy.[8:13:26] Come on.[8:13:27] This is just, I think that we might have to print this one and you should look at the second one too.[8:13:31] Okay, let's see the second photo and look at, oh my God, a guy getting in the spy's face.[8:13:37] Look at this bald little fucking Moby.[8:13:40] Hey, you can't be filming here.[8:13:42] And the spy's like, I was just filming my drink.[8:13:47] Someone in the comments posted, you know, that meme of like the little white furry guy.[8:13:50] Look at his hands.[8:13:51] Yeah.[8:13:52] Do you see a film device in my hands?[8:14:01] That's what I would do if somebody's like, why are you filming?[8:14:05] I do not have anything in the realm of film in my possession.[8:14:14] You're taping us.[8:14:15] I do not have any tape.[8:14:18] You're videotaping us on your phone.[8:14:22] That's impossible.[8:14:24] Look how thin it is.[8:14:27] There ain't no tape.[8:14:29] This show is corrupt.[8:14:31] This show is racist.[8:14:33] This show is anti-negro.[8:14:39] All right, what do we got next here with this horseshit?[8:14:41] He wore a mask because he knew you'd be mad if he didn't.[8:14:43] Yeah, he wore a mask.[8:14:44] He's like, dude, I think Mike likes masks.[8:14:46] You think I like masks?[8:14:47] I don't care if anyone wears a mask.[8:14:49] I wear a mask so I don't get your sickness.[8:14:55] That's not a mask.[8:14:56] That's his beard, you idiot.[8:14:58] Why are you making fun of him?[8:15:00] He's clean shaven.[8:15:01] No, that is his beard.[8:15:02] He has a darker beard than hair.[8:15:05] Okay, don't make fun of him.[8:15:06] He's probably really self-conscious.[8:15:07] That's his beard.[8:15:08] It's his Abraham.[8:15:10] Yes, Jules, take a good look.[8:15:12] Okay, fine.[8:15:13] That is his beard.[8:15:15] That is not a mask that he's wearing around his chin.[8:15:18] That is his beard.[8:15:19] You're thrown off because the light, I think,[8:15:21] is hitting his hair, making it look more amber.[8:15:24] That's his beard.[8:15:26] It's clear as day.[8:15:27] So don't make fun of people for wearing masks[8:15:30] when they have beards.[8:15:31] Alright, what do we got next here?[8:15:33] So Anand had a tape from his side.[8:15:35] Yeah, Anand did have a tape.[8:15:36] His mostly has audio, but we just could hear[8:15:38] what it was like after he got picked up.[8:15:40] So we got some time codes, right?[8:15:41] Yep.[8:15:42] Okay, where do we go from here?[8:15:43] It's at the top of the notes list.[8:15:45] Ooh, look at that.[8:15:48] I love the top, man.[8:15:49] That's where my whole, the whole reason I'm here[8:15:51] is so I can get to the top.[8:15:54] I can't wait to get to the top.[8:15:56] No, I think the intro's good[8:15:57] because that's from Jason Yates' tape,[8:15:59] if you guys remember.[8:16:00] Yeah, look at this.[8:16:01] So this is called Denny Full.[8:16:02] You don't want people making these project file[8:16:05] document names about you in the videos.[8:16:08] You know, there's no videos about me that's like[8:16:10] Mike David Full, authentic, original.[8:16:14] You know what I mean?[8:16:15] It's like when people are like making your names[8:16:19] of videos of you that are like shortened[8:16:21] for documenting purposes, it's pretty bad.[8:16:25] Denny, tape 401, full set, 221, 29, Denny.[8:16:35] That's pretty bad.[8:16:36] People are so serious about the archival aspect[8:16:41] of all your calamities.[8:16:43] All right, let's see what he does here.[8:16:44] Let's see the other version.[8:16:46] The pry or the spy?[8:16:48] Who's this guy, the pry?[8:16:50] The pry.[8:16:51] Anand, let's call it the dark and the right.[8:16:53] Oh my God.[8:16:56] So we've got this beautiful white Jeep, right?[8:17:00] Yes.[8:17:01] And a couple weeks ago, we drove to this Walgreens[8:17:04] and the employee there was jacked up.[8:17:07] I remember I walked into this Walgreens[8:17:09] and this employee was all jacked up[8:17:11] and I've never walked into a Walgreens.[8:17:13] I was greeted with this guy and he was like so sped up[8:17:17] and this guy comes up to me and he goes,[8:17:19] hey, welcome, need any help?[8:17:21] And it was literally like one of those weirdo things[8:17:24] where they would show, they would try to emulate[8:17:26] what it's like being on acid at a carnival[8:17:29] to a guy in a movie.[8:17:31] Like did you watch Bad Trip with Eric Andre?[8:17:34] Yeah, I like Bad Trip, yeah, with Eric Andre.[8:17:37] The scene where they did the pills,[8:17:39] that's the vibe that the guy had.[8:17:41] So yeah, it's like as soon as I walk in a room,[8:17:44] hey, can I help you find it?[8:17:45] It's like, no.[8:17:48] And I was really rude to him.[8:17:50] Yes, insanely rude.[8:17:52] I don't need any, like I might as well have said,[8:17:54] I don't need your fucking help, bitch.[8:17:57] Like I was so rude to him and he kind of felt it.[8:18:01] But then we're checking out and this guy[8:18:03] switches from greeter to cash register operator[8:18:07] out of nowhere and he starts asking my wife,[8:18:10] he goes, is that your Jeep outside?[8:18:12] Oh, I love that, man, yeah.[8:18:14] Oh, and I love the white, white is right.[8:18:18] And we both like, even Jules stopped and attracts[8:18:21] this guy in front of a crowd full of Walgreens waiters,[8:18:25] shoppers behind us in line.[8:18:27] He goes, man, yeah, white is right.[8:18:30] Like he was trying to be like chummy.[8:18:32] He basically whispered the Jeep part to me[8:18:35] and then screamed the white is right part.[8:18:37] White is right.[8:18:38] And I go, I don't think there's a term[8:18:40] outside of blatant, you know, racism.[8:18:45] I don't think that's a term people use[8:18:47] just about white things that are good, right?[8:18:50] You say like white is right.[8:18:52] When you're denouncing a Chinese person.[8:18:55] You could even say white's the best,[8:18:57] the color white on your Jeep, that's the best.[8:18:59] He goes, dude, in the all white, white is right.[8:19:03] And I sat there, I went like this, gotta go.[8:19:06] The meaner you are to an employee,[8:19:09] I feel like the more they talk to me[8:19:11] and then the more I have to make up for how rude you are.[8:19:14] I will not talk to an employee no matter[8:19:17] what they ask me, no matter how clear it is to me.[8:19:22] An employee could look me right in the eye[8:19:24] and go, hi, can I help you with anything?[8:19:26] And I go, I will not respond to an employee anywhere.[8:19:35] That's not true.[8:19:36] No, it's true.[8:19:37] Only when you're in a mood.[8:19:38] You know what, Jules?[8:19:39] I'm making it true.[8:19:40] That's my new stance.[8:19:41] No, I don't like it.[8:19:42] Oh, you're gonna like it.[8:19:43] Wait till you see what the waitress says to me.[8:19:45] Hi, what can I get you, fella?[8:19:48] Let's do that, Jules.[8:19:49] Come out to a restaurant with me tonight.[8:19:50] We'll see what happens when a waitress comes[8:19:52] and we just go mute.[8:19:55] Ah, what could I get you guys?[8:20:00] Guys, what could I get?[8:20:02] Let's see how long they'll put up with that.[8:20:04] And we just.[8:20:08] Guys, and it's like a nice restaurant.[8:20:11] They're trying like another guy.[8:20:12] They sent and we're just.[8:20:16] So how long?[8:20:17] What would they do?[8:20:18] Do you point at the menu?[8:20:19] Would they start pulling this out of the.[8:20:21] Do you make them guess?[8:20:22] I would sit there stone cold.[8:20:25] And so would you.[8:20:26] And what are they gonna do?[8:20:27] They can't like physically remove us.[8:20:30] They're gonna get so mad at us for not talking.[8:20:32] They're gonna drag us out.[8:20:33] Like, what is gonna happen?[8:20:35] Imagine that.[8:20:36] They're like, hi.[8:20:37] Hi, guys.[8:20:38] Welcome first time in.[8:20:42] And OK, what can I get you guys?[8:20:49] But we don't blink like we got to really get Visine and shit.[8:20:54] How long?[8:20:55] Let's try it on a phone call.[8:20:57] Get me a restaurant, any restaurant.[8:20:59] Get me a restaurant.[8:21:00] Let's try it on a phone call.[8:21:02] Let's get people involved in the show.[8:21:03] I wanted to Skype people today, too.[8:21:05] Who did I want?[8:21:06] Owen.[8:21:07] Has he responded?[8:21:08] Oh, I didn't know you meant for today.[8:21:10] It takes one and a half weeks to get a message to Owen down on his farm, which is actually[8:21:17] where they shot the second season of The Walking Dead.[8:21:20] I don't like how that sounded, but it looks very similar, right?[8:21:25] Where Owen Benjamin lives.[8:21:26] It looked like that farmhouse.[8:21:28] From Walking Dead, season two, that's where I really started to know.[8:21:33] So she's getting a phone number for a restaurant.[8:21:35] We're going to call up.[8:21:36] We're going to see.[8:21:38] It is going to be difficult because we're not going to be there in person.[8:21:41] I'm going to have to kind of tailor things, right, to a non-talking.[8:21:45] I mean, wait, you're just going to not say anything because they're just going to hang[8:21:48] up.[8:21:49] Well, that's what I said.[8:21:50] I'm going to change it up.[8:21:51] So in person, we would non-talk.[8:21:52] What would you do on a call?[8:21:53] You would not see, right?[8:21:56] So check this out.[8:21:58] Let's see what happens here.[8:22:01] Good evening.[8:22:02] Thank you for buying the Breit and Kegs diggers and bar.[8:22:05] How can I help you?[8:22:06] Yes, I would like a dinner for two.[8:22:10] Sorry?[8:22:13] Thank you.[8:22:14] Am I all set?[8:22:16] Sorry.[8:22:17] What was that?[8:22:18] I thought you cut out.[8:22:21] Yes.[8:22:22] Thank you for the reservation.[8:22:23] I'm all set to come in tonight.[8:22:26] No.[8:22:27] Could I get, what was the name?[8:22:32] Frederick.[8:22:35] And then how many guests?[8:22:37] 52.[8:22:43] Wow.[8:22:44] What the fuck?[8:22:46] We're going to call them back.[8:22:48] There is no reason that should have resulted in a hang up.[8:22:58] What the fuck?[8:23:01] Hello?[8:23:02] Hey, I'm sorry.[8:23:03] I think there was some confusion.[8:23:04] I called.[8:23:05] I actually have like a reservation I'm trying to make.[8:23:07] I think you thought I was maybe joking around.[8:23:09] Can we start over?[8:23:10] Yeah, certainly.[8:23:11] Yeah.[8:23:12] So I just have a reservation I said for two people that I'd like to book.[8:23:19] Certainly.[8:23:20] What day was it for?[8:23:23] Tomorrow.[8:23:24] Tomorrow?[8:23:25] Yeah.[8:23:27] And then for two guests, and then what time are you thinking?[8:23:32] Thanks.[8:23:33] What do you think?[8:23:34] 730?[8:23:35] 730?[8:23:36] 730?[8:23:37] Awesome.[8:23:38] Oh, you have it open.[8:23:39] Oh, great.[8:23:40] Sure.[8:23:41] Yeah, we're pretty open tomorrow.[8:23:43] Okay, so 730.[8:23:45] And you have my name?[8:23:46] You said Frederick, but can I get your phone number?[8:23:50] Yeah, it's 1-900.[8:23:52] 1-900.[8:23:54] George.[8:23:55] So you spell out George, and then it would be dash Floyd, and then that would be just[8:24:04] dash Rox, but spelled R-O-X.[8:24:08] So it's 1-900 George Floyd Rox.[8:24:13] I don't know what that works out to in keypad.[8:24:16] Let's see, so the G would be a four, I guess.[8:24:20] E would be a three.[8:24:23] O would be the six.[8:24:25] Three.[8:24:26] Yeah, so it would be 1-900 George, so that would be a four, three, six, I don't know.[8:24:37] Are you able to work that math out?[8:24:39] I'm sorry, I have no idea what you're trying to get at here.[8:24:44] Do you want to just give me your phone number?[8:24:46] So you, wait a minute, you have no idea what I'm trying to get at?[8:24:51] Yeah, do you have like a phone number?[8:24:53] Whoa, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.[8:24:57] I said George Floyd Rox.[8:25:00] You said I have no idea what that's about.[8:25:03] Whoa, what does that mean?[8:25:04] You were on team Chauvin or the cop side or what's going on?[8:25:09] I'm confused.[8:25:11] Okay, let's start over.[8:25:13] My name is George Floyd, and I'm looking for a place to grieve.[8:25:19] Tomorrow night at 730 with two officers.[8:25:26] Do you have three total people?[8:25:30] One of them is going to be an Asian cop.[8:25:32] Okay, one of them is going to be an Asian officer.[8:25:35] The other one is going to be a white officer.[8:25:37] I think his name is Chauvin.[8:25:39] And then I am George Floyd, the victim of the dinner.[8:25:46] So I'm just trying to get your reservations or do you have a phone number?[8:25:49] Yes, 1-900-George-Floyd-Rox.[8:25:55] Do you, like, is there numbers for that?[8:25:58] Again, yeah, you got to, there should be like a,[8:26:01] probably a website where you could enter that and it'll translate it to digits.[8:26:08] Because I can't do it either, it's nuts.[8:26:10] I asked AT&T, I couldn't even believe it was available.[8:26:13] I gave it to me after his death.[8:26:15] And then I, but I don't know the numbers and I do have them written down,[8:26:20] but I don't have them in front of me.[8:26:21] So it's like impossible.[8:26:22] I'm trying to figure out a G is four.[8:26:24] Okay, I know E is three.[8:26:26] Then I start getting confused.[8:26:27] I start naming P or eight.[8:26:30] I start going crazy.[8:26:31] I start pressing the pound sign.[8:26:33] Try need to.[8:26:35] But you don't know your phone number.[8:26:37] Maybe my email.[8:26:39] I hope you're not like doing improv with me.[8:26:42] I hope this hasn't turned into you're doing improv with me now.[8:26:47] Right?[8:26:48] No, he says.[8:26:49] Can I get a phone number?[8:26:50] Okay.[8:26:51] Well, how about my email?[8:26:52] Sure.[8:26:53] Can I, I'll just get, so you said George Frederick.[8:26:56] No, uh, you heard that wrong.[8:26:58] It's George Floyd at Brianna Taylor, crematorium.org, which is my workplace.[8:27:09] Okay.[8:27:12] And it's a burn.[8:27:14] It's a, uh, the, uh, crematorium.[8:27:18] Yeah.[8:27:19] So George Floyd, F-L-O-Y-D.[8:27:23] Exactly.[8:27:24] Like from the news.[8:27:25] And then George Floyd at, uh, could you sell that crematorium again?[8:27:29] Brianna Taylor, crematorium.org.[8:27:32] Brianna, Brianna.[8:27:35] Taylor.[8:27:37] Crematorium.[8:27:40] So are you like riffing with me now?[8:27:43] Cause that's gonna be.[8:27:44] Brianna Taylor, crematoriums.ca.[8:27:45] Sounds good.[8:27:46] All right.[8:27:47] So I do be booked in for tomorrow evening for three guests at 7 30 under George Floyd.[8:27:53] Can you, here's it, cause I don't know what's going on here anymore.[8:27:57] Can you go up to an employee and just say the name George Floyd to them while I hear[8:28:02] it over the phone to make sure that you're the real deal.[8:28:09] I know that you're not.[8:28:10] Okay.[8:28:11] Thank you.[8:28:12] Which is a common request from a booking for a table.[8:28:16] Go up to another employee, put the phone in the middle of YouTube and just say George[8:28:20] Floyd.[8:28:21] And then let me hear what they say back to you if you can.[8:28:23] Sure.[8:28:24] I have an employee right here.[8:28:26] Oh, thank you.[8:28:27] Um, yeah.[8:28:28] George Floyd.[8:28:29] Say something.[8:28:30] Yeah.[8:28:31] Should I.[8:28:32] Okay.[8:28:33] So they're in cahoots with you.[8:28:36] All right.[8:28:37] Well, I can't believe this.[8:28:38] We're sending all these tapes to the press.[8:28:41] And now you're involved in this horrible racist call, right?[8:28:47] You can't be.[8:28:48] I'm not following.[8:28:49] Okay.[8:28:50] Well, believe me, you're going to be rather embarrassed when this is spread all over the[8:28:54] news saying all this stuff.[8:28:56] You said, I can't even believe you said George Floyd back to me.[8:29:02] So crazy to hear.[8:29:05] I don't want a reservation tomorrow.[8:29:13] The other words I want to say to you to see how far you'll take this playing along with[8:29:17] me.[8:29:18] I'm telling you the other worlds I'll say would get me arrested.[8:29:20] Do you understand?[8:29:24] So you better knock it off right now with the playing along.[8:29:27] I said, George Floyd to you over a phone call.[8:29:29] You never expected this day to come.[8:29:32] You heard the man's name.[8:29:34] Obviously this is getting a little Mimi.[8:29:38] I just understand.[8:29:39] I'm just going to let you go.[8:29:41] So George Floyd is just a shit.[8:29:43] He's just a Harambee type name to you.[8:29:47] That's what's going on there with white America.[8:29:48] I could tell he's a Harambee style meme and you all get the joke, huh?[8:29:55] Very funny.[8:29:56] I'll be make sure to tell his family what you thought.[8:29:58] All right.[8:29:59] There he goes.[8:30:00] Thank you so much.[8:30:01] I don't know what that guy was doing.[8:30:03] I don't think if he was playing along on the bed, that's pretty risque bit for a gay[8:30:08] guy to start playing.[8:30:09] Oh, yeah.[8:30:10] George Floyd, the Breonna Taylor creamers.[8:30:13] I mean, it's either that he was really, I don't think so.[8:30:17] I can't tell.[8:30:19] I guarantee he knew and he was trying to be a wise guy, but what kind of fucking wise[8:30:24] decision is that?[8:30:25] You can't joke about George Floyd in this day and age.[8:30:28] Not even if you're trying to deflect a prank.[8:30:33] If somebody says George Floyd to you, you cut the cord, you get the fuck out of there.[8:30:38] It's not going to end well.[8:30:39] That tape is going.[8:30:40] And what was the crematorium again?[8:30:42] Breonna Taylor crematorium.[8:30:43] And the fact that he allowed that just shows his privilege to me.[8:30:47] I think it really does.[8:30:49] It shows that he is above the death of the lack of man.[8:30:55] And we hate that here at red bar.[8:30:56] We want you to be equal to the dead, to the black man.[8:31:00] How could he have?[8:31:01] How could he not know?[8:31:02] I don't know.[8:31:03] But it's pretty funny just hearing me say the words George Floyd to people, which is[8:31:06] what we're going through here this month.[8:31:09] And I just think it's funny to hear a human being say George Floyd to an actual human[8:31:13] being and see what they do.[8:31:16] I think it's very funny.[8:31:18] All right.[8:31:19] Where are we?[8:31:20] We're going to play this other tape here.[8:31:21] Yes.[8:31:22] Here's a non-state.[8:31:23] Here is a non-state.[8:31:24] Ladies and gentlemen, the second spy.[8:31:27] Cheers.[8:31:28] I don't know.[8:31:30] I don't know what you know, this is the biggest show I've done in a year.[8:31:38] Wow.[8:31:39] Look at this.[8:31:40] All right.[8:31:41] So we got Danny sideways here.[8:31:43] The tape is sideways.[8:31:44] Oh, God.[8:31:45] Give me a sec, drill, sing a song for them or something real quick.[8:31:51] Oh, wait, I'll play the song.[8:31:53] Oh, my God.[8:31:54] It's fine.[8:31:55] It's fine.[8:31:56] It's going to be fine.[8:31:57] Cut to jewels.[8:31:58] Oh, no.[8:31:59] Don't cut to me.[8:32:00] Oh, dear.[8:32:01] Oh, brotherly father, please, brotherly father, do this, do that, oh, my brother, get a strong[8:32:06] place.[8:32:07] I'm going to puke.[8:32:08] I'm going to puke.[8:32:09] Sorry.[8:32:10] Yeah.[8:32:11] Are you actually going to puke?[8:32:12] Do you need like a minute?[8:32:13] No, I need a microphone.[8:32:14] There we go.[8:32:16] We'll be right back.[8:32:18] I feel very nauseous.[8:32:22] I got to take a break from talking even to shadow it down.[8:32:25] We'll be right back.[8:32:26] I see your face in my mind as I drive away.[8:32:27] None of us thought it was going to end that way.[8:32:28] Feel the lights?[8:32:29] People are people and sometimes we change our minds.[8:32:30] But it's killing me to see you go after all this time.[8:32:31] Oh, my God.[8:32:32] Oh, my God.[8:32:33] Oh, my God.[8:32:34] Oh, my God.[8:32:35] Oh, my God.[8:32:36] Oh, my God.[8:32:37] Oh, my God.[8:32:38] Oh, my God.[8:32:39] Oh, my God.[8:32:40] Oh, my God.[8:32:41] Oh, my God.[8:32:42] I'm going to puke.[8:32:57] Hold on a sec.[8:32:58] We'll be right back.[8:32:59] We'll be right back.[8:33:00] Now I don't know what to be without you around.[8:33:28] And we know it's never simple, never easy, never a clean break.[8:33:56] I can't breathe without you here on Red Bar.[8:34:04] She said it first.[8:34:05] What a racist bitch.[8:34:07] We are back, of course.[8:34:09] Sorry about all that.[8:34:10] I was extremely sick at the moment.[8:34:13] I am back.[8:34:15] OK, we're waiting for Jules to get back.[8:34:19] We'll show you this damn tape here today.[8:34:21] I want to thank everybody for coming out and supporting live hate tonight.[8:34:27] Thank you guys so much for this.[8:34:29] I hope you've learned a little bit.[8:34:30] I know it's a lot of filler these days, but.[8:34:35] We're trying to give you some Pepto Bismol.[8:34:38] Thank you very much.[8:34:39] We're trying to give you what Mark Norman and Sam Morrell fail to do.[8:34:42] I don't know if you've seen David Tell lately ain't doing any performances.[8:34:47] The clubs are closed.[8:34:49] Clubs aren't closed here.[8:34:50] Why don't you hit that hit that?[8:34:53] I got to drink some Pepto.[8:34:54] We're going to get back to business here.[8:34:55] We don't like to waste your time.[8:34:58] Ah, Jules tried to escape.[8:35:05] Cheers everybody to the I like the ultra.[8:35:09] The other Pepto Bismol doesn't work on me.[8:35:11] Ultra works.[8:35:14] Cheers guys to a great show.[8:35:15] Great life.[8:35:16] Thank you guys for being such good friends.[8:35:18] Chipmunk.[8:35:19] Why don't you go to a restaurant and sit at the table silent, but you also have a mouthful[8:35:37] of liquid Pepto Bismol.[8:35:39] That was about eight servings that I just did.[8:35:43] I always go over Pepto Bismol to me.[8:35:46] There are no rules when it comes to that drug to you in the drugs.[8:35:52] Yeah.[8:35:53] Pepto Bismol.[8:35:54] I do.[8:35:55] They're like, please do not take any more than two tablespoons per hour.[8:35:59] Yeah.[8:36:00] Right.[8:36:01] I drink about 75% of the bottle.[8:36:03] If that can't put out the fire, what can?[8:36:11] Only Ethan Klein and Gila would have that long of a silence in their show, Jules.[8:36:15] You should be proud.[8:36:16] You should be proud.[8:36:17] You're in the new Gila.[8:36:18] Klein.[8:36:19] I love the clients.[8:36:20] We have dinner with the clients next week, which sucks because they paid last time.[8:36:23] We got to pay this time dinner with the always order.[8:36:26] So Ethan orders, Ethan orders so much and you know what he always, um, goes to the store[8:36:36] when the check comes, people go, Oh, I always thought he always goes to the bathroom and[8:36:41] the check.[8:36:42] He goes to the store when the check comes and he spends all his money at the store.[8:36:48] And then when he comes back, he says, yeah, I, I, uh, used all my money at the shops.[8:36:57] We have dinner with the clients coming up.[8:36:59] We probably have dinner with the, uh, Benjamin's coming up next week.[8:37:02] I want this to be more like a Seinfeld thing.[8:37:05] So we have like dinners with people.[8:37:06] You know, when I was a kid, you were told adults had these dinners that they dreaded.[8:37:11] You haven't taken me to a friend's couples dinner.[8:37:14] We haven't had one dinner.[8:37:17] I'd love to start doing these dinners, man, where you're, what do you do at work again?[8:37:26] It's creative stuff.[8:37:28] Oh, and Jules here.[8:37:30] Imagine if we had this type of thing going on, how great that would be.[8:37:34] I want the Benjamin's.[8:37:35] I'd like a dinner dinner with the Benjamin's dinner with the Klein's.[8:37:41] Where would we take them that they haven't already been so tough to figure out where[8:37:46] Ethan would go to eat?[8:37:47] I I'd say Domino's is his favorite restaurant.[8:37:51] I know how much he loves Domino's, but I don't think they have a sit down area anymore.[8:37:56] Of course we could all force just still have a sit down area.[8:38:00] I want to go to Domino's with Hila, Ethan, me and you were both in tan suits.[8:38:04] You guys are in like dresses with pearls.[8:38:07] We're all just standing at that stupid counter as you order a small pie and we wait it out.[8:38:17] We wait it out.[8:38:18] Wouldn't a funny prank.[8:38:19] What kind of funny prank would that be?[8:38:22] A Seinfeld style dinner date at Domino's there.[8:38:27] It would rule.[8:38:32] Thank you.[8:38:33] All right.[8:38:34] What do we got for me next?[8:38:35] Jules here.[8:38:36] Whoa.[8:38:37] The TV.[8:38:38] Oh yeah.[8:38:39] It's the second angle here.[8:38:44] Imagine Josh Denny's like get to the fucking report.[8:38:47] Josh Denny and Gino are clawing at their tables.[8:38:50] Get to the fucking report.[8:38:54] They've had to watch six hours of their report with all this jerk off nonsense crap.[8:39:00] You puke in the middle of their report.[8:39:02] They can't do this anymore.[8:39:07] Stick out your tongue.[8:39:08] No, I would never do that on the air.[8:39:12] Let's see what people are saying.[8:39:13] I like your tiki owl.[8:39:15] It's cute.[8:39:16] Shut the fuck up.[8:39:17] What are you?[8:39:18] Jonathan Berman.[8:39:19] You're fucking dead.[8:39:20] And Trista and Mohammed.[8:39:21] No.[8:39:22] Sorry.[8:39:23] Don't jerk around with their names or personal Pam pizzas to kosher.[8:39:27] Very fucking funny.[8:39:30] Fogo day.[8:39:31] Chow.[8:39:32] Yeah.[8:39:33] Very fucking funny.[8:39:34] This is my new thing now.[8:39:35] I need a listener that says, yeah, very fucking funny.[8:39:38] Shut the fuck up.[8:39:39] Shut up.[8:39:40] I think I worked hard on those guys.[8:39:42] I want to turn into like a New York, one of these old New York guys here.[8:39:47] Watch this.[8:39:48] Like interact with me as a listener.[8:39:49] Here.[8:39:50] Look.[8:39:51] Stick out your tongue.[8:39:52] I'll shut the fuck up.[8:39:53] Jerk off.[8:39:54] This is my new personality.[8:39:55] New York.[8:39:56] Mike.[8:39:57] Check this out.[8:39:58] Um, LOL.[8:40:01] This vid is 40 minutes.[8:40:02] I shut up.[8:40:03] Cocksucker.[8:40:04] Shut the fuck up.[8:40:06] Shut the fuck up.[8:40:08] This is how New York comics, this is how they do their thing.[8:40:11] Look at this guy.[8:40:12] He goes, Joe Rogan wore this little rascals hat to kill Tony.[8:40:16] I shut the fuck up.[8:40:17] Motherfucker.[8:40:18] Shut up.[8:40:20] New York comedy, everybody.[8:40:22] Thank you.[8:40:23] It's from the rich boss era.[8:40:25] All right.[8:40:26] Play the tape.[8:40:27] Play the tape.[8:40:29] This is from the second spy and look, he's got a cockeyed angle, but you can see there's[8:40:33] Josh Denny.[8:40:34] There's the first spy down there and the second spy saw what the first spy got into trouble[8:40:39] with.[8:40:40] So the second spy sees the first spy get yelled at.[8:40:43] He goes, and the second spy actually bitches.[8:40:47] I think the second spy is more of a bitch.[8:40:54] Now, when you submit yourself to a red bar spy report, again, it's not supposed to be[8:41:00] oh, let's forget the comic.[8:41:03] Let's focus on the spies and start ridiculing them.[8:41:08] But I will say this as a second spy.[8:41:12] I think you saw what was going on with spy number one and you started tightening things[8:41:17] up back there as spy number two thinking you were all cool and calm, but really you were[8:41:23] just letting that guy take the fall while you number toot it to safety, right?[8:41:29] I hope that's not what I'm seeing here.[8:41:31] I appreciate the juxtaposition.[8:41:32] I think that one loud spy and one quiet spy is the way to go.[8:41:38] If it were up to me, there'd always be two spies, but both spies would be very educated[8:41:44] if it were up to me.[8:41:46] If it were up to me, both spies would be somebody that I would be grateful to pin a medal on[8:41:52] in front of a crowd.[8:41:53] You understand?[8:41:54] I think you're being a little mean by not wanting to pin a medal on these boys.[8:41:59] I didn't say I didn't want to pin a medal on a nod.[8:42:03] The Indian spy who actually I am going to be, thanks for blowing it.[8:42:07] I am going to be pinning him with a medal of valor today and I'm going to be pinning[8:42:12] the other guy with a medal of cowardness.[8:42:18] I'm not pinning anyone.[8:42:20] I would never pin anyone, but listen, it's alluring to want to pin people, right?[8:42:29] If somebody said, hey, what does your boyfriend do?[8:42:31] Oh, he pins people who they are.[8:42:35] Imagine that.[8:42:36] I get to decide who you've been for the year.[8:42:39] You've been naughty or nice.[8:42:40] What does my pin say?[8:42:43] You know, we almost bought, we were at a flea market last week, bunch of old rusty old fucking[8:42:48] shovels everywhere.[8:42:49] Everyone's got a rusty shovel.[8:42:50] They're trying to sell you.[8:42:51] We were at this flea market and I saw a guy selling a bunch of actual like military pins[8:43:00] and I was even joking.[8:43:01] I go, we should buy these up.[8:43:02] And I should like pretend that I was in the military and we got distracted or something.[8:43:09] How funny would that be if I started wearing like dead victims?[8:43:13] This guy was selling obviously like his cousins and grandfather's medals and this is the medal[8:43:20] of victory.[8:43:21] You know, he rolled around three times like a sausage to save his friend.[8:43:26] You got this medal.[8:43:27] Oh wow.[8:43:28] Do they even give out medals anymore to these troops?[8:43:31] I don't even think they speak to the troops currently.[8:43:36] There is like, I know dude, I don't know.[8:43:38] Like the president's like, I don't fucking know.[8:43:43] This image is daunting for you.[8:43:44] This image is insane.[8:43:47] You can change the image at any time just by clicking play.[8:43:50] Ooh.[8:43:51] Don't you say how you real feel.[8:43:53] All right.[8:43:54] This is a tape.[8:43:55] It's a spy to check out this footage, man.[8:43:58] This is pretty cool.[8:44:01] Pretty cool footage.[8:44:02] It's from a director named, um, who is the director from spy kids?[8:44:09] Um, Rodriguez.[8:44:11] Robert Rodriguez directed this tape.[8:44:15] It is off kilter.[8:44:17] It is off.[8:44:18] It's rocker.[8:44:19] I love Robert Rodriguez and I love his spy kids.[8:44:24] I love that movie.[8:44:25] I can't get over.[8:44:26] I don't, I don't like the film, but I like the movie version.[8:44:34] I hate spy kids.[8:44:35] It's too, and I like Robert Rodriguez a lot.[8:44:38] I don't like that spy kids.[8:44:40] He's goofing around.[8:44:41] I'm trying to fuck that chick.[8:44:42] Yeah.[8:44:43] It's called kids.[8:44:44] I don't like a adult that works with kids in any manner.[8:44:48] I feel like if you're like a director, you're, Oh, I'm a famous director.[8:44:51] I made this kid's movie called spike.[8:44:53] Okay.[8:44:54] Do you want to fuck the redheaded kid?[8:44:57] You want to fuck the other redheaded kid?[8:44:59] One of the spies.[8:45:00] You want to spy on this kid without his parents.[8:45:03] What's going on?[8:45:05] If you want to make a kid's movie, you're deranged.[8:45:08] Make an adult movie.[8:45:09] Make a movie with a slasher and it shut the fuck up.[8:45:14] Make a movie with a slasher or shut the fuck up.[8:45:17] If your movie doesn't have a slasher in it, I'm highly suspicious of your pedophilic motives.[8:45:24] Trying to every movie that has a kid, I go, the director wants to, but fuck bad nigga.[8:45:33] Here's the second tape from the second spy.[8:45:36] It's wild.[8:45:37] And we're on the, uh, this is only the intro of the show.[8:45:39] We got it like eight.[8:45:41] This tape is 10 more minutes, 40 minutes long.[8:45:44] Yikes.[8:45:45] I'm going to fall asleep.[8:45:47] Watch this because what you're seeing here is like, look at this.[8:46:00] Oh, Josh is on stage now.[8:46:04] Yes, this is all job.[8:46:06] So see how the second spy got scared when the first spy was called out, he started hiding[8:46:11] his camera.[8:46:12] It's like, dude, you're 30 yards away from the great Denny.[8:46:16] You don't need to hide your camera.[8:46:18] In fact, we should send out like 25 spies for show and they all just show up like this.[8:46:26] Hello Joshua.[8:46:28] No one's recording.[8:46:30] These are blank.[8:46:31] Oh, I could have given away my whole, you know, but I like how.[8:46:36] Second spike gets scared.[8:46:37] He hides his camera when he sees first spy get yelled at is if cause he knows she's doing[8:46:43] something bad too.[8:46:44] So to preserve the sanctity of the tape, but he also blows it and leaves us in the dark[8:46:50] for most of the show.[8:46:51] Luckily I'm here to tell you what's going on here.[8:46:54] Listen to this.[8:46:55] We told them, we told them seven, so we're about 45 minutes away from their arrival.[8:47:05] So you could really see, Oh no, go get a big towel.[8:47:11] This is a big event.[8:47:12] Big event just happened here on red bar.[8:47:16] It's okay.[8:47:17] Just grab the towel.[8:47:18] Just grab the towel.[8:47:20] Big event happened here.[8:47:22] Really sad event.[8:47:25] Just happened here.[8:47:26] We got to remain cool.[8:47:27] The entire Tiki drink that I filled up as a prop shame on me.[8:47:33] It tipped over, it spilled.[8:47:36] There's about this much liquid on everything.[8:47:39] She's drying it off.[8:47:40] It's going to be okay.[8:47:43] Everything luckily is battery operated to the cheapest degree.[8:47:47] It literally soaked your entire microphone thing and your fits directly on your foot[8:47:54] pedal.[8:47:55] I know the foot pedal that I use for music.[8:47:57] So it's going to take a while to dry up here.[8:47:59] We're going to remain calm.[8:48:01] I always like to remain calm when it's been my fault.[8:48:04] Of course.[8:48:05] Of course.[8:48:06] Yes.[8:48:07] It's my fault.[8:48:08] Let's all remain calm.[8:48:09] If it's not my fault, somebody must pay and there's a lot of yelling.[8:48:14] So I'm going to help you here since this was my fault.[8:48:17] It's fine.[8:48:19] If this ha if you did this, a lot of yelling and a lot of, you know, making you feel bad[8:48:28] about what you did.[8:48:31] Because it was me.[8:48:32] We're going to take patience and it's understanding a big spill.[8:48:36] Guys, we've spilled plenty on this show.[8:48:39] This was a big spill, right?[8:48:41] Jules?[8:48:42] About the biggest spill we've ever had.[8:48:45] But look how calm I am because it was my spill.[8:48:48] She's wiping my foot pedal now.[8:48:49] We got it.[8:48:50] Just take the time.[8:48:51] Oh, she's dropping my wazoo.[8:48:57] And we're just going to take the time.[8:48:58] We got to be mature about this and take care of the spill.[8:49:04] Thank you.[8:49:05] And that's how a podcast should handle things.[8:49:07] They shouldn't get bent out of shape, shouldn't yell unless the host or the co-host who did[8:49:14] something.[8:49:15] All right.[8:49:16] She's almost done.[8:49:17] You did a great job, by the way.[8:49:20] We're almost dry here.[8:49:21] We're almost good.[8:49:22] Not not a lot of time wasted with this.[8:49:25] Very good.[8:49:26] I'm very proud of you for getting on your knees.[8:49:28] She was on her knees scrubbing, sucking and fucking.[8:49:35] The spill.[8:49:37] This does not feel like a Monday, someone says, oh.[8:49:42] I got no excuse for that.[8:49:44] All right.[8:49:45] Now you're back.[8:49:46] Hey, everyone's back.[8:49:47] What was that?[8:49:48] Thirty seconds.[8:49:49] Thirty seven seconds out of your time here.[8:49:51] It's kind of nice down there.[8:49:52] I was relaxed.[8:49:53] OK, so we're watching this when it's looking, it's all cockeyed here and you see, look at[8:50:03] how crazy this is.[8:50:04] This is where I screwed up.[8:50:06] Here's our one spy up here.[8:50:08] Look at that.[8:50:11] Here's the other comics.[8:50:14] That's it.[8:50:17] And Josh goes on.[8:50:18] He does an hour.[8:50:20] For these three people.[8:50:21] One of them's a spy.[8:50:22] What do you guys want to do?[8:50:23] What do you want to do?[8:50:24] Do you want to do new shit?[8:50:25] I want to tell you a little story.[8:50:26] Now that you thought that you were not having a good day, do you want to have my day started?[8:50:27] I broke a toilet seat today.[8:50:28] And then I got to buy a new toilet seat.[8:50:29] Have you ever had to do that?[8:50:30] In a real crazy part of your life?[8:50:45] See now what the face of this joke is.[8:50:47] Look at this.[8:50:48] When he was doing his toilet seat joke.[8:50:50] There he is.[8:50:51] Really attempting a bit here.[8:50:54] He knows these are two comics that are just nervously tapping their toes waiting to get[8:50:59] up and he knows this is a pry or a spy or whatever and imagine just rehearsing this[8:51:08] nonsense to this.[8:51:09] I mean really you can see the whole room here.[8:51:14] Absolutely disturbing.[8:51:15] This is the thesis of this night.[8:51:17] No matter what they're doing, no matter where they are, this is where they are.[8:51:21] This is where they are.[8:51:22] And can't you just say again, you can't just show up and go, guys, this didn't work out.[8:51:27] I'm really sorry.[8:51:29] Can't you have a rule where you go, I only do shows if 20 people show up and that's shameful.[8:51:36] That's plenty shameful.[8:51:38] Can't you have a rule?[8:51:39] Don't you care about yourself enough to go, guys, there's gotta be at least 20 people[8:51:43] here.[8:51:44] Let's do a show for two.[8:51:47] There's no glamour in doing a show for two.[8:51:51] These guys heard Jerry Seinfeld say, oh, it's a lot of hard work on the road.[8:51:55] Oh yeah, sometimes you get, they're talking about shows where there's a hundred people[8:52:00] and it's shitty.[8:52:02] They're not talking about two with all the lights on.[8:52:05] Okay.[8:52:06] All right.[8:52:07] So do we have specific time codes for this one?[8:52:09] If you want to skip completely over what we already saw.[8:52:15] Yeah, let's skip over it.[8:52:16] I think people get the point.[8:52:17] But if you want to see the guy getting kicked out from another angle.[8:52:19] Yeah, let's see that.[8:52:20] Then you can go to like two minutes where he starts yelling at that guy.[8:52:23] Oh wow.[8:52:24] It was only two minutes into the show before he kicked out the other guy.[8:52:29] Okay.[8:52:30] Let's watch it from this angle.[8:52:31] Yeah.[8:52:32] Hey, what do you got there?[8:52:33] A clothes scene?[8:52:34] Yeah.[8:52:35] Yeah.[8:52:36] That would be embarrassing if you weren't holding it like a faggot.[8:52:41] Scary.[8:52:42] Scary.[8:52:43] It's ridiculous.[8:52:44] We're in the dark now.[8:52:48] You're the only person who came here to see me.[8:52:51] Stop filming me right now.[8:52:53] You can hear it from the other angle.[8:52:54] You're the only person who came here to see me.[8:52:57] Stop filming me right now.[8:52:59] At first, I think he was hopeful like, oh wow, you're the only person that, oh, he's[8:53:04] filming.[8:53:05] Okay.[8:53:06] Stop filming me right now.[8:53:07] Shut the fuck up.[8:53:08] Right?[8:53:09] Like he is two separate thoughts happening at once.[8:53:11] Turn your phone off.[8:53:14] I know what you're doing.[8:53:15] Turn your phone off.[8:53:16] Oh, but I guess I thought we would see him.[8:53:17] Or I'll kick it away from you.[8:53:18] Yeah, let's see what happens.[8:53:19] I know what you're doing.[8:53:20] I know what you're doing.[8:53:21] Turn your phone off.[8:53:22] This is what I mean about the second spy.[8:53:23] It's like the second spy got scared too, and he hid his phone because Josh was reprimanding[8:53:29] the first spy.[8:53:31] He says, when Denny said, what do you got there?[8:53:33] I thought he was talking about me.[8:53:34] Talking to me.[8:53:35] Yeah.[8:53:36] See, that's what I mean.[8:53:37] How could you not?[8:53:38] Denny said, what do you got there?[8:53:39] You got a phone?[8:53:40] It's bad if you're on stage and then you go, what do you got there to one guy?[8:53:44] And every single audience member flips their phone.[8:53:47] That's how you know your audience is mostly spies when you're like, hey, what do you got[8:53:50] there?[8:53:51] And every audience member goes, nothing, nothing.[8:53:56] Are you all spies?[8:53:59] No.[8:54:03] Can we hit it to two X to get it closer?[8:54:06] Okay.[8:54:08] Okay.[8:54:09] Well, if it's mostly dark, then we've already seen this basically eight minutes, eight minutes[8:54:13] in.[8:54:14] What are we going to see here?[8:54:15] I think this is right.[8:54:16] As he again, dark, I think some out, I believe.[8:54:19] Let's see the kick out.[8:54:20] Listen to this.[8:54:30] This is funny that I'm having three audience members.[8:54:39] He even admits it.[8:54:40] He says three audience.[8:54:41] I gave him six, three audience members.[8:54:44] The comedian on stage was about to do 30 minutes.[8:54:49] He says three audience members, wrap it up, give those guys gift cards and get the fuck[8:54:54] out of there.[8:54:55] Why are you making a single person watch you?[8:54:58] You've ordered food?[8:54:59] That would be great.[8:55:00] I don't get a good audience.[8:55:01] Let's see who's ordering.[8:55:02] I got one of those ones out of your pool tonight.[8:55:03] Oh God, this is fucking fun.[8:55:04] I miss you.[8:55:05] I miss you.[8:55:06] I miss you.[8:55:07] I miss you.[8:55:08] I miss you.[8:55:09] I miss you.[8:55:10] I miss you.[8:55:11] I miss you.[8:55:12] I miss you.[8:55:13] I miss you.[8:55:14] I miss you.[8:55:15] I miss you.[8:55:16] I miss you.[8:55:17] I miss you.[8:55:19] I miss you.[8:55:20] I miss you.[8:55:21] I miss this.[8:55:22] I honestly miss this.[8:55:24] These guys get excited when they do small rooms because this is what they're used to.[8:55:28] This is what it is for them.[8:55:30] Five people, two people is no pressure.[8:55:34] Imagine being comfortable on stage in front of two.[8:55:39] That's nuts.[8:55:40] But when you're 15 years in and you didn't get to do this for a year, this is like getting[8:55:46] sucked by two Chinese women at the same time.[8:55:47] It's just nice to be at a place where you go, can I get this guy to laugh out?[8:55:48] This guy.[8:55:49] That guy in black?[8:55:50] Or one, we actually have to have him here.[8:55:51] He's a state issue.[8:55:52] He's the brownest person in New Jersey and he's here to make sure that the whites just[8:55:53] don't start having rounds.[8:55:54] He's talking to a non probably.[8:55:55] He's talking to a non.[8:55:56] Listen to this horseshit.[8:55:57] Am I racist?[8:55:58] Yeah.[8:55:59] I'll be like, did you not play around with this guy?[8:56:00] Yeah.[8:56:01] Yeah.[8:56:02] Yeah.[8:56:03] Yeah.[8:56:04] Yeah.[8:56:05] Yeah.[8:56:06] Yeah.[8:56:07] Yeah.[8:56:08] Yeah.[8:56:09] Yeah.[8:56:10] Yeah.[8:56:11] Yeah.[8:56:12] Yeah.[8:56:13] Yeah.[8:56:14] Yeah.[8:56:15] Yeah.[8:56:16] Yeah.[8:56:17] Yeah.[8:56:18] Yeah.[8:56:19] Yeah.[8:56:20] Yeah.[8:56:21] Yeah.[8:56:22] Yeah.[8:56:23] Yeah.[8:56:24] Yeah.[8:56:25] Yeah.[8:56:26] Yeah.[8:56:27] Yeah.[8:56:28] I'm kind of famous for it.[8:56:29] Somebody goes, are you racist?[8:56:30] She goes, I'm kind of famous for it.[8:56:31] He thinks he's a big fame guy.[8:56:32] I bet Denny was kind of feeling himself because yeah, I think he was.[8:56:34] He knew all of the other comics were there.[8:56:35] He knew Alex was a spy, but he laid his eyes on a non because how could he not?[8:56:38] And he was like, where's this guy from?[8:56:40] Could this come to see me?[8:56:44] I know he's a hater, but this is pretty cool it came to see me as a hater.[8:57:03] Alex calling him racist, they're saying.[8:57:04] Oh wow.[8:57:14] So that's the shy?[8:57:16] Yeah.[8:57:17] So the white guy in the front, Alex, our first spy is going,[8:57:20] oh, you know, you're racist, you got all this racist stuff.[8:57:23] And Denny's saying, all my shit's out there, all my shit's out there, let's hear some more.[8:57:33] Yeah.[8:57:44] I mean, literally I've made out more of like ambient sounds from the monkey cage at the zoo[8:57:54] than I can make out from this.[8:57:56] Seriously, if you gave me jungle scapes, I would understand more of what's going on.[8:58:03] Alex being a complete god.[8:58:04] Really, a god.[8:58:05] Okay, let's hear some more.[8:58:10] Oh, we get some video.[8:58:17] I just watched you press record on your phone.[8:58:33] I'll tell you what I'm going to do, I'm taking the proceeds from tonight's show and I'm buying[8:58:38] the gun you showed Denny.[8:58:42] It's awful.[8:58:43] Awful.[8:58:45] The question is, do you have the balls to use it, is the question.[8:58:49] Do you hear his punchline?[8:58:51] I'm going to take the proceeds from tonight's show and buy you a gun.[8:58:55] Oh, the proceeds from tonight are $25, not many guns you could buy, and then his big[8:59:01] punchline is, and I hope you just have the guts to actually use it.[8:59:06] That's what he says.[8:59:10] When it's a guy to take his life.[8:59:12] Listen to this.[8:59:17] The question is, do you have the balls to use it, is the question.[8:59:23] Set the guidance counter for Columbine around 98.[8:59:27] You're not going to shoot anybody, Dylan, you're a pussy.[8:59:31] He said, I'll be back tomorrow.[8:59:35] This is a comedy show.[8:59:39] She's just putting it on the fucking table.[8:59:42] Jesus Christ.[8:59:44] Listen to this.[8:59:45] You know, I was thinking about turning gay.[9:00:01] What'd you say?[9:00:10] Do we have any more specific time shows?[9:00:12] This is a mess.[9:00:14] This is a jungle mess.[9:00:17] Go to like 14 minutes.[9:00:18] 14 minutes in.[9:00:19] Let's see what happens here.[9:00:22] The Josh Denny spy report.[9:00:24] We're sending spies to all their shows for the next year.[9:00:32] I've got a really great time travel bit that I'd like to do.[9:00:42] I think this gets foiled, right?[9:00:44] And he just says, but I don't want it on YouTube.[9:00:47] But I don't want it on YouTube.[9:00:48] So we know she's being filmed for this YouTube.[9:00:51] Okay.[9:00:52] I got an amazing time travel bit, but I don't want this on YouTube with all the fanfare.[9:01:01] I think they're trying to remove him.[9:01:11] Trying to remove him now.[9:01:14] Jesus Christ, guys.[9:01:15] First show back in a year.[9:01:17] Things out.[9:01:29] Again, if you're going, what the, what is all this crap?[9:01:32] This is their show.[9:01:34] You know, that's how you should feel.[9:01:36] I can't interpret any of this.[9:01:38] That's their show.[9:01:39] They're paid show that they charge money for.[9:01:43] All right.[9:01:43] Do we have any more codes here?[9:01:44] Anand actually has a playlist of videos recorded and there's one here.[9:01:49] I'll send it to you right now.[9:01:50] Send this over.[9:01:51] And this whole thing is basically Denny set.[9:01:54] So you got the idea that guy got the idea of the sets.[9:01:56] Terrible.[9:01:57] He kicked out spy number one, but Anand our Indian spy in the back.[9:02:05] Okay.[9:02:05] And do we have a new video from Anand here?[9:02:09] Yes.[9:02:09] Click that playlist.[9:02:10] This one here.[9:02:10] That's what he sent.[9:02:11] I think that he said to watch.[9:02:13] There's one where it has Denny video, cute little Denny vid.[9:02:16] This one.[9:02:17] Cute little Denny vid.[9:02:18] Yeah.[9:02:18] We saw this in that little teaser from Jason Yates.[9:02:22] Check this out.[9:02:24] He's sneaking around the club before Denny went out.[9:02:31] There he is.[9:02:31] Look at that.[9:02:32] Oh, and that's what they kept going back to.[9:02:35] Obviously.[9:02:35] Look at that.[9:02:37] Imagine you're a listener.[9:02:39] You're walking by and you see that.[9:02:42] That's big.[9:02:43] You know, people were talking about it in the bringback group.[9:02:45] You go, yeah, these are legends that you get to see for nearly free.[9:02:51] I mean, 25 bucks to see a famous fucking red bar fool like this.[9:02:57] It's a good deal.[9:02:58] I would suggest.[9:02:59] I would love to be able to do this, to be able to see our fools live and in concert like this.[9:03:06] And you could do it.[9:03:07] Any of you could do it.[9:03:08] You're sitting at home.[9:03:09] He's coming in Minneapolis.[9:03:11] This week is five bucks.[9:03:14] You could be right there.[9:03:15] You could walk right past him.[9:03:18] You could get his autograph.[9:03:19] You could smell him.[9:03:21] I'd kill.[9:03:22] I'd kill for the opportunity.[9:03:24] Can you imagine?[9:03:26] So take advantage.[9:03:27] Go see smell like your favorite comments and what do you smell like?[9:03:31] What do you look like?[9:03:32] I bet he puts on a bunch of cool water.[9:03:35] Like you can't really portray what you saw here in just a video clip alone.[9:03:39] You got to have some descriptors.[9:03:42] Let's see what happens next.[9:03:48] My name is Brigham.[9:03:50] I'm Catholic.[9:03:51] Makes no fucking sense.[9:03:52] Brigham and Catholic.[9:03:53] Okay.[9:03:53] Look at the room.[9:03:54] It has the Roman name.[9:03:55] It makes no sense at all.[9:03:56] It's like they have a name.[9:03:57] Go in there.[9:03:58] For some little reason.[9:03:59] You know, it's like Italian mother.[9:04:01] You know, it's like Josh.[9:04:03] Josh can't even sit in the main room.[9:04:06] He's got to sit like outside the main room as if it's the green room.[9:04:11] You can't even go in there.[9:04:12] There's nobody in the audience.[9:04:15] You're letting the comic that's going up before you just sit there and talk to two[9:04:19] people while you sit outside the room to pretend like maybe someone might ask him for his[9:04:24] autograph out there.[9:04:25] It's true.[9:04:25] Yeah.[9:04:26] All right.[9:04:26] All right.[9:04:32] Okay.[9:04:33] Do we have full tapes from both boys?[9:04:36] We could give those out to people now and you could watch the full footage for yourselves,[9:04:40] right?[9:04:41] Yes.[9:04:42] All right.[9:04:42] Was there any more moments from this beautiful spy report here?[9:04:46] Again, you know, we're witnessing, you know, the big problem.[9:04:51] The big problem.[9:04:52] No one showing up.[9:04:54] No production.[9:04:55] No jokes, even.[9:04:58] I mean, you watch these guys, they kind of go into their material for two minutes and[9:05:02] then they just riff with the crowd.[9:05:05] Is that worth your $25?[9:05:08] I mean, $25 is a lot for a ticket.[9:05:10] That's more than a movie.[9:05:11] So maybe if you're new to Denny, you don't know who Gino is and you're like, why is it[9:05:16] so annoying to these guys when they say they've got a show, they're going to be in town.[9:05:22] Why does Mike get furious when Josh Denny says he's a comic?[9:05:25] This is the biggest show he's had in years.[9:05:27] This is the biggest show that Gino and Josh have done in years.[9:05:32] So when you see these guys say they're doing shows, this is what's actually happening.[9:05:38] Punish them, shame them constantly.[9:05:41] And I don't want to let it fall by the wayside.[9:05:44] Denny had two people there to see him, haters or not.[9:05:47] Gino had none.[9:05:48] None.[9:05:49] Imagine that.[9:05:50] You couldn't even get him of that.[9:05:52] Also, the two spies forgot that you were even there.[9:05:56] So this is what's going on.[9:05:58] This is what these comedians are trying to pull on us.[9:06:01] It's not going to happen.[9:06:02] We're sending spies to every event.[9:06:05] Yes.[9:06:05] There's another part in the other tape where Josh thanks and on for being a cool fan because[9:06:10] he thinks he's there for him.[9:06:13] And isn't that funny?[9:06:13] So Josh was taking it all out on the first spy, thinking that the second spy was an actual[9:06:20] fan only because the second spy learned from the first spy and tightened up.[9:06:26] But Josh goes, you know what?[9:06:27] I got a spy here, but you know what?[9:06:28] I also got a fan here.[9:06:30] No, you had two spies.[9:06:33] You had two spies.[9:06:35] It's all documented.[9:06:37] And imagine you go out, you fly to New York City.[9:06:41] You're all you got all these butterflies.[9:06:45] And this is what you do just to be on red bar.[9:06:48] Just to end up on red bar.[9:06:50] I want you to think about that.[9:06:51] Every time you sign that contract for another show, we will be there.[9:06:57] We will be covering.[9:06:59] We will be sharing and spoiling your material.[9:07:04] There's another part of that tape where a waitress had a seizure.[9:07:08] There really was.[9:07:09] It's almost too much to get into.[9:07:11] It sucks to cover because it's only audio for most of it.[9:07:14] And you can just hear like the mutterings if you focus really hard.[9:07:18] So it's actually kind of hard to show the clock.[9:07:20] It doesn't say nine hours.[9:07:22] I know we've been on for a long time.[9:07:23] We've been up for nine hours.[9:07:25] Yeah.[9:07:25] Well, no wonder I'm acting like this.[9:07:27] All right.[9:07:28] Sing me out.[9:07:28] Give me a song.[9:07:29] We got to get out.[9:07:30] Nine hours.[9:07:30] That's my limit here today.[9:07:33] We hope you enjoyed the show.[9:07:34] I would say it's probably the best show you've heard.[9:07:37] We're going to be back soon with the Big Mike special.[9:07:38] It's going to fucking rule.[9:07:39] I know that's not going to work.[9:07:41] You just spilled all the liquid on it.[9:07:42] Remember?[9:07:42] Oh, really?[9:07:43] That was like soaking wet.[9:07:45] Oh, wait.[9:07:45] But it actually died from that.[9:07:48] Are you got me a song here for the people or do we not have a song?[9:07:52] Here, let me read.[9:07:52] We might not have anything.[9:07:54] Josh, it's working.[9:07:55] Here, I'm sending you this.[9:07:56] Coming out of my cage and I'm going to be just fine.[9:07:59] Gotta, gotta get down.[9:08:00] Doesn't it sound like that?[9:08:02] Effect off.[9:08:04] All right.[9:08:04] Thank you for listening to Red Bar.[9:08:05] We got one last performance for you.[9:08:08] She'll be on the lights.[9:08:10] We got a great song, I'm sure, coming up.[9:08:12] I got to go to the bathroom show.[9:08:13] But have I even left this desk today?[9:08:15] I don't think so.[9:08:17] I gotta go bathroom.[9:08:19] Imagine not going to the bathroom in nine hours.[9:08:22] Which is what I've done here.[9:08:23] Thank you all for coming out and witnessing the power of the Red Bar.[9:08:30] You want to know?[9:08:30] Let's see what I got.[9:08:31] I can't even read that.[9:08:34] No, I don't like that.[9:08:35] Let's see what this is.[9:08:36] Brothers.[9:08:38] No, I don't know that.[9:08:40] Anything else?[9:08:41] What's Sugar?[9:08:51] Everyone's been going, do Sugar.[9:08:53] How does that go?[9:08:58] Yeah, let's see.[9:08:59] I don't think I know this.[9:09:03] You can dim the lights, get all the studio lighting going.[9:09:06] Let's see what happens here.[9:09:08] No, it's not saying.[9:09:09] I don't know.[9:09:10] What is the song Sugar that they're all telling me to do?[9:09:14] System of a Down.[9:09:17] I don't know this.[9:09:21] You think I listen to that?[9:09:22] It's dark.[9:09:25] Let's see.[9:09:25] Give me more suggestions.[9:09:27] That's okay.[9:09:28] We could wrap up here today with this.[9:09:30] I'll try this one, okay?[9:09:32] Good night, everybody.[9:09:33] Thank you for listening to the powerful Red Bar.[9:09:35] We loved you.[9:09:37] We loved everyone here.[9:09:38] Thanks.[9:09:38] I want you to know that I'm happy for you.[9:09:47] I wish nothing but the best.[9:09:53] I probably got a key, Rick.[9:09:56] Elder version of me.[9:09:58] Is she perverted like me?[9:10:00] Would she go down on you in a theater?[9:10:05] Does she speak eloquently?[9:10:07] And would she have your baby?[9:10:09] I'm sure she'd make a fucking excellent nigga.[9:10:14] Cause I love that you gave and I made anyone an enabler[9:10:18] And after the day did we open wide?[9:10:21] No.[9:10:24] And every time you speak your name[9:10:26] Does she know that you told me that you'd be here till you died?[9:10:29] Till you died?[9:10:31] You're still alive and I'm here to remind you[9:10:37] Of the mess you left when you went away[9:10:41] It's not fair to remind you of the cross I bear[9:10:48] That you gave to me you, you, you, I don't know[9:10:54] Ah, you seem very well[9:10:58] Mike looks peaceful[9:11:02] I'm not quite as well[9:11:07] I thought you said so[9:11:11] Did you forget about me?[9:11:13] Mr. Duplicitous Day?[9:11:16] I ate a bug you in the middle of dinner[9:11:20] I was a slap in the face[9:11:23] How quickly I was replaced[9:11:25] And are you thinking of me when you fuck her?[9:11:29] Cause I love that you gave and I made that you wasn't able to make it enough[9:11:33] You'd be open wide[9:11:37] No.[9:11:38] And every time you speak your name[9:11:41] Does she know that you told me that you'd be here till you died?[9:11:44] Till you died?[9:11:45] But you're still alive and I'm here to remind you[9:11:52] Of the mess you left when you went away[9:11:56] It's not fair to deny me[9:12:01] Of the cross I bear[9:12:03] That you gave to me you, you, you, I don't know[9:12:09] Thank you.[9:12:11] Thank you for listening to Red Bar.[9:12:13] Thank you all.[9:12:14] I hope you enjoyed the program.[9:12:25] Thank you so much for Red Bar.[9:12:45] Cause the joke that you laid in the bed[9:12:47] That I made at the feet of the sooners[9:12:50] You close your eyes and you know it[9:12:53] And every time I scratch my nails[9:12:57] Does it sound what I mean?[9:13:03] When I'm there to remind you[9:13:08] Of the mess you made when you went away[9:13:12] It's not fair to deny me[9:13:17] Of that shit I bear[9:13:19] That you gave to me you, you, you, I don't know[9:13:24] I don't know[9:13:26] To remind you of the mess you made when you went away[9:13:33] It's not fair to deny me[9:13:37] Of the cross I bear[9:13:40] That you gave to me you, you, you, I don't know[9:13:46] Another hit show, Jules.[9:13:47] Jules, thank you for listening to Red Bar.[9:13:55] We're back.[9:13:57] Awkward.[9:14:17] Black cat, Cadillac, yeah[9:14:19] Devotion time, bomb[9:14:21] Black or white shoes[9:14:23] Black cat, Cadillac, yeah[9:14:25] Devotion time[9:14:26] Well he's back in the hallway[9:14:28] Gotta live it, yeah[9:14:29] Like a rat, he's smarter than a nine-louder than[9:14:32] Like a cat, fifteen years, yeah[9:14:34] Take it to him, yeah[9:14:35] Hit the door, yeah, all alone[9:14:39] Black or white shoes[9:14:40] Black cat, Cadillac, yeah[9:14:42] Devotion time, bomb[9:14:44] Black or white shoes[9:14:46] Black cat, Cadillac, yeah[9:14:48] Devotion time, bomb[9:14:50] Naughty guy, naughty guy, bother me[9:14:52] Fuck gold, yeah, twenty hands[9:14:54] Running up, running up, always[9:14:56] Put that pink bag down, yeah, runny teeth, yeah[9:14:58] What's the way?[9:14:59] Boy, what's the time?[9:14:59] Boy, what the hell, what the hell, what the hell[9:15:02] Black or white shoes[9:15:03] Black cat, Cadillac, yeah[9:15:05] Devotion time, bomb[9:15:08] Black or white shoes[9:15:09] Black cat, Cadillac, yeah[9:15:11] Devotion time, bomb[9:15:13] Yeah[9:15:14] What is ever[9:15:18] Thank you tonight[9:15:21] We hope you like red bar pretty good, huh?[9:15:25] Put it my transit[9:15:28] Black or white shoes black cat Cadillac[9:15:32] the voice of Tom Tom[9:15:34] black or white shoes black cat Cadillac[9:15:37] Yeah[9:15:39] Please come the way so it is going to do[9:15:42] We tell them on the car that she died[9:15:46] Rolling, but they're kind of like it's my learning family shut down[9:15:50] Yes, there is good black or white shoes black cat Cadillac. Yeah, the voice of red bar[9:15:57] black or white shoes black cat by tea[9:16:01] No, I said red bar[9:16:03] George Floyd black man black man Brianna[9:16:07] The voice of the cops black voice black man black shoe go to jail[9:16:12] the voice of the black[9:16:20] Thank you another hit show Jules[9:16:37] You[9:17:07] You[9:17:37] You[9:18:07] You[9:18:37] You[9:19:07] You[9:19:37] You[9:20:07] You[9:20:37] You[9:21:07] You[9:21:37] You[9:22:07] You[9:22:37] You