redbar.watch

episode: RED BAR RADIO S19 E26

mentions

transcript

[0:00:00]   I think we're starting.[0:00:05]   So what?[0:00:07]   So what?[0:00:12]   Shut the hell up.[0:00:13]   And now you're under my control.[0:00:15]   Oh, hell no.[0:00:20]   Mike, it's your day.[0:00:24]   He brings you the world, the stars and the songs.[0:00:28]   Mike, it's your day.[0:00:31]   Oh, this is going to be fun.[0:00:33]   That's what you'd like to do.[0:00:35]   It takes you around.[0:00:37]   Mike, it's your day.[0:00:46]   Hey, boys.[0:00:47]   Welcome to a Scars Club episode.[0:00:49]   Hi, Red Bar.[0:00:51]   We're back.[0:00:52]   I'm excited.[0:00:54]   I'm doing okay today.[0:00:58]   Hallelujah.[0:00:59]   Do you like my sweater?[0:01:00]   I swear it's a male's cardigan.[0:01:03]   You know, before you start poo-pooing this[0:01:05]   and thinking this is some cheapo-depo from Eli Klein.[0:01:09]   You know, there's no way to fix this mic.[0:01:11]   You've got to fix that mic arm.[0:01:13]   There's no way to fix it.[0:01:16]   Look at the patchwork on this cardiogon here.[0:01:20]   Now, you know what?[0:01:21]   The only problem with this, it's got a bunch of language on here.[0:01:24]   We don't know what this means here today.[0:01:27]   What does this say?[0:01:29]   Is this Greek?[0:01:30]   Is that what's going on?[0:01:31]   Am I going Greek?[0:01:36]   Look at the patchwork on the back.[0:01:38]   I mean, that's all patchwork.[0:01:41]   Monogrammed.[0:01:42]   That's monogrammed.[0:01:44]   I'd love to know what it says.[0:01:45]   Well, I'll be wearing this today, teal with it,[0:01:49]   as Weezer would say when they put out their teal album,[0:01:52]   you know, as part of the marketing.[0:01:55]   Anyway, we've got a great show today.[0:01:57]   I'm in an exquisite mood.[0:01:59]   The fools are on the loose.[0:02:01]   Wait till you hear what they've said about me this week.[0:02:04]   And now the show is all about,[0:02:05]   oh, wait till you see what the fools have said about me this week.[0:02:09]   I'm one of the main characters on this show.[0:02:11]   Maybe they should get some content and stop talking about other people all the time.[0:02:15]   Somebody says it's Greek.[0:02:16]   We're reading the chat.[0:02:17]   Nice to see you.[0:02:18]   If you're not Scars Club and you're just hanging out,[0:02:22]   doing some robbery, robbery of the show.[0:02:25]   People are asking if you raised your chair today.[0:02:29]   This is my normal height.[0:02:33]   Was my chair to raise?[0:02:34]   Hi, I'm Dave Landau, filling in for Steven S. Crowder.[0:02:38]   I solemnly swear to hate black people and pretend that I don't.[0:02:44]   Mr. Kumher.[0:02:46]   Yeah, I did raise my chair.[0:02:48]   You got a problem with that?[0:02:51]   Oh, my God.[0:02:54]   This does not look ridiculous.[0:03:03]   OK, let's stop goofing around.[0:03:05]   This is a politics show.[0:03:07]   Now, you guys are going to have a great time today.[0:03:09]   You guys are going to have a lot of laughs.[0:03:12]   Somebody said it was Greek.[0:03:13]   OK, Iron Patriot here.[0:03:17]   Iron Patriot.[0:03:19]   Let's make ourselves a caca.[0:03:21]   Iron Patriot, huh?[0:03:22]   In the bring back group.[0:03:23]   Hold on.[0:03:24]   We're just going to do some small talk to get in the mood here today.[0:03:26]   You should probably check out the video version, of course, always.[0:03:30]   As always, I'm going to make an I can't breathe.[0:03:34]   OK?[0:03:35]   So I make an I can't breathe.[0:03:37]   What's going on with Iron Patriot in the bring back group?[0:03:40]   Bring back group, of course.[0:03:41]   Kill Tony's guy.[0:03:44]   Jules, I'm talking to you.[0:03:45]   What's going on with him?[0:03:46]   Oh, I mean, he joined finally.[0:03:48]   He joined.[0:03:49]   And everyone's been having a great time in there with him.[0:03:50]   They love him.[0:03:51]   No, seriously.[0:03:52]   What's going on?[0:03:53]   He's been posting and stuff.[0:03:54]   Everybody's talking about the Iron.[0:03:55]   Oh, look what happened.[0:03:56]   The crushed ice turned into one big block here.[0:03:59]   No.[0:04:00]   I need something to just here, here, here, here, here.[0:04:03]   I got it.[0:04:04]   Well, now you guys understand what I've been dealing with with the Iron Patriot.[0:04:08]   He's in the bring back group now.[0:04:09]   And I guess what happened is he posted again.[0:04:11]   Watch the video version for this small talk segment, please.[0:04:15]   He's in the bring back group right now.[0:04:17]   And I guess he's bothering everybody.[0:04:20]   He's posting like a million things.[0:04:22]   Wait.[0:04:23]   This is the one.[0:04:24]   He's bothering people?[0:04:25]   No.[0:04:26]   Well, that's what they're telling me here.[0:04:27]   They're saying, Mike, you've got to get him out.[0:04:28]   I just don't see how that could be possible.[0:04:29]   Mike, he's killing us here.[0:04:30]   I have nothing to do with this.[0:04:31]   This is not like a troll that I started with him.[0:04:34]   I don't think that's funny.[0:04:35]   Sorry.[0:04:36]   You know what?[0:04:37]   I'm going to cut the shit here.[0:04:38]   I'm a little distracted here.[0:04:40]   That's why I said watch the video version.[0:04:42]   I'm trying to make this new drink called the I Can't Breathe.[0:04:47]   And it's hard to talk and do this at the same time.[0:04:52]   Do you guys mind if I just silently make this drink?[0:04:56]   You know, I don't have enough people here to tell me what to do.[0:04:59]   OK.[0:05:00]   And then look at this.[0:05:01]   I mean, look at the ridiculousity of what you're seeing here today.[0:05:05]   I mean, you guys made fun of the whiskey, right?[0:05:08]   There's this one guy, the reviewer guy.[0:05:10]   He goes, yeah, they made fun of Mike's whiskey.[0:05:13]   So I can't believe how thin skinned he is.[0:05:15]   He actually went out and got better whiskey just because he was so insecure about the[0:05:20]   whiskey.[0:05:21]   That's what he said.[0:05:22]   That's what he said about.[0:05:23]   He called me the F out this week.[0:05:24]   OK.[0:05:25]   Well, I don't hear any more about that.[0:05:27]   Well, look at this.[0:05:28]   What is this today?[0:05:29]   This is Scars Club.[0:05:30]   We've got about 10 hours here.[0:05:31]   Make some noise here today, OK?[0:05:34]   Will it?[0:05:35]   Willy's bourbon?[0:05:36]   Look at this.[0:05:37]   So now every time I go out, I try to buy the most ridiculously expensive crap that I could[0:05:41]   find.[0:05:42]   I don't know if you're going to get one stupider looking than that.[0:05:44]   Look at this.[0:05:45]   I mean, this is whiskey.[0:05:46]   This is supposed to be whiskey.[0:05:47]   This isn't some Fufu Manico.[0:05:52]   And what the hell am I making here today?[0:05:54]   Nobody even knows.[0:05:55]   OK, so pouring a little of that, OK?[0:05:58]   A little bit more, a little bit more.[0:06:00]   I like these straps here.[0:06:02]   All right.[0:06:03]   Everybody just teal with this.[0:06:04]   And then we'll do a little bubbly and pour one with you.[0:06:10]   This is going to be a party today.[0:06:11]   Red Bar is now classified as an event.[0:06:15]   Yeah, isn't that nice?[0:06:17]   I've always thought of it as an event.[0:06:18]   Classified as an event.[0:06:19]   Oh, there we go.[0:06:21]   Doompa, doompa, doompa.[0:06:23]   We need some maybe get some Mai Tai music, some of that.[0:06:27]   You know, type in Mai Tai music, tiki music or something.[0:06:30]   I'm obsessed with this tiki.[0:06:32]   We're making, what is this called?[0:06:33]   An I can't brief?[0:06:35]   There's a song called Mai Tais by the band Train featuring[0:06:39]   Skylar Gray.[0:06:41]   I don't think so, Jules.[0:06:42]   I'm talking about some classical Mai Tai music.[0:06:45]   It should already be on, by the way.[0:06:49]   Thank you.[0:06:50]   There we go.[0:06:52]   Can you lower that on your end a little bit?[0:06:57]   That's good.[0:06:58]   A little bit louder.[0:07:00]   Thank you and welcome to the gorgeous Red Bar.[0:07:05]   You know, I think I'm going to start each show doing something[0:07:08]   like this, you know?[0:07:10]   Because how nice is this?[0:07:14]   Hold on, I'm not even done.[0:07:15]   How nice is all this?[0:07:17]   Here, doesn't this make you feel better about your life?[0:07:22]   Look at this.[0:07:23]   I mean, what other show is doing all this?[0:07:27]   You know, I think this looks pretty nice.[0:07:29]   I even went and saved some of these bronzes for his hair.[0:07:37]   I mean, come on.[0:07:38]   I've never done anything like this in my life.[0:07:41]   I'm doing this while I'm talking.[0:07:43]   Well, there we go.[0:07:44]   I think that's good.[0:07:45]   Welcome to Red Bar, everybody.[0:07:47]   Now, all right, come fetch it.[0:07:49]   We can officially start the show here today.[0:07:52]   All right, welcome.[0:07:54]   Yes, all right.[0:07:55]   Raise your drinks.[0:07:56]   Hopefully you're all making one of these.[0:07:57]   This is an I can't breathe.[0:08:00]   Look at that.[0:08:01]   So every week, we'll try to outdo ourselves[0:08:05]   with the clothing, the lights, the whiskey, and the drinks[0:08:09]   until it's show madness that I'm going to look like.[0:08:11]   You shouldn't have done such an amazing job on that drink.[0:08:14]   Oh, trust me.[0:08:15]   Oh, trust me.[0:08:18]   And what's it called?[0:08:20]   Yeah, like I said, it's going to look like.[0:08:22]   Oh, my God.[0:08:23]   What about you forgot something?[0:08:24]   I forgot something.[0:08:25]   Oh, my God.[0:08:26]   Oh, my God.[0:08:27]   Look at this.[0:08:28]   Watch this, guys.[0:08:29]   What color?[0:08:30]   Um, yellow.[0:08:32]   Watch this.[0:08:34]   I know I'm wasting a lot of people's time,[0:08:36]   especially if you're listening to the audio[0:08:37]   because you're in your car.[0:08:38]   This is crap.[0:08:39]   It's hell for you.[0:08:40]   But don't skip.[0:08:41]   I mean, don't skip.[0:08:43]   Do not skip ahead.[0:08:44]   Sometimes it's just going to be hell for you[0:08:46]   while we work stuff out here.[0:08:48]   And I broke that one.[0:08:50]   Sometimes it's just going to be hell for you.[0:08:52]   Don't worry.[0:08:53]   I've got so much up my sleeves today.[0:08:55]   I read about Moses last week.[0:08:57]   I said, Trisha's boyfriend Moses has so much up his sleeve[0:09:00]   that he could sink in any lake in this country.[0:09:05]   And I like that line.[0:09:06]   Moses, the original Moses has big sleeves too.[0:09:10]   Look at this.[0:09:11]   The guy who parted the sea,[0:09:12]   didn't he have a big, long wizard sleeve?[0:09:14]   You know, I don't really have much room for that.[0:09:16]   How about that?[0:09:17]   What do you guys think?[0:09:19]   Look at that.[0:09:21]   And I can't breathe.[0:09:23]   Okay.[0:09:24]   So I got this big Tiki drink here.[0:09:25]   If anybody could, if anybody does woodwork or something,[0:09:30]   you could carve me a, this is pretty close,[0:09:32]   but imagine if you carved me a George Floyd Tiki mug,[0:09:37]   you know, he's wearing the sweater[0:09:38]   or whatever the fuck he's wearing.[0:09:40]   All right.[0:09:41]   Let's drink guys to a great show today.[0:09:43]   I think today's show is just going to be fantastic.[0:09:45]   I'm so excited to be here with you.[0:09:48]   Yes.[0:09:49]   Thank you so much.[0:09:50]   We also have Jules in the house.[0:09:51]   What's up?[0:09:52]   Jules in the house.[0:09:53]   Very nice.[0:09:54]   This is going to be a very difficult podcast to do.[0:09:58]   Okay.[0:09:59]   So I guess we could keep that.[0:10:01]   Should we keep that there?[0:10:02]   You know what?[0:10:04]   We didn't practice any of this.[0:10:06]   Guys, we're new with all this type of bartending[0:10:08]   and stuff like that.[0:10:09]   We've been looking up Tiki design all week,[0:10:14]   trying to figure out how Tiki people do it.[0:10:16]   And there's not a lot of classy Tiki out there.[0:10:18]   I'll tell you this.[0:10:19]   Now my hands are sticky,[0:10:20]   so we need some wet wipes in here.[0:10:21]   Jules.[0:10:22]   A Windex wipe would be great here.[0:10:24]   My hands are sticky.[0:10:25]   I got fruit everywhere.[0:10:26]   Big, big giant slice.[0:10:28]   This drink cost me about $30 to make here today.[0:10:32]   I'm getting into Tiki.[0:10:33]   I'll tell you this right now.[0:10:34]   I'm getting into Tiki, subtle Tiki.[0:10:37]   You know, a lot of people have cheapened Tiki,[0:10:40]   these losers.[0:10:41]   You know, there's this whole nerd culture.[0:10:43]   They're calling it geeky Tiki now,[0:10:46]   where they're making like Tiki mugs out of Star Wars[0:10:48]   wooksies and stuff like that.[0:10:50]   Uh-uh.[0:10:51]   Not on my watch.[0:10:53]   And all these guys look like, you know,[0:10:56]   B-team real big fish singers.[0:10:58]   They're wearing like cheap Hawaiian shirts,[0:11:01]   and all the girls wear like those cheap Hawaiian dresses,[0:11:04]   and they're wearing cheap Walmart makeup,[0:11:07]   making themselves look like 20s hood knockers.[0:11:10]   That ain't my style.[0:11:12]   I'm bringing Tiki back in a subtle way.[0:11:15]   Thank you for allowing me to teak.[0:11:17]   I like Tiki.[0:11:18]   I hope it has a racist element to it, too.[0:11:20]   I don't know.[0:11:21]   It does, remember?[0:11:22]   It was the original cultural appropriation.[0:11:24]   Yes, it is.[0:11:25]   It's a Polynesian thing, and I'm into that right now.[0:11:29]   I'm into Polynesia and all that shit.[0:11:31]   We've got a very exciting show for you.[0:11:33]   Don't think the whole show is performances and Tiki art, OK?[0:11:37]   This show is fucking good.[0:11:39]   Let's open with an amazing debut from the comedy curator.[0:11:45]   He's back.[0:11:46]   I love CC, comedy curator.[0:11:49]   And this guy does not get a lot of heat, man.[0:11:52]   I don't think he gets a lot of views.[0:11:54]   Follow him on Instagram, comedy curator.[0:11:56]   Maybe he's using the wrong fonts.[0:11:58]   He definitely, comedy curator, you hear what I'm saying here?[0:12:01]   You might be using the wrong fonts.[0:12:03]   Seek font help.[0:12:06]   He's doing some great work, and today he put together,[0:12:09]   and I hope people are feeling this.[0:12:11]   I want to rah rah this till the day I die,[0:12:13]   this ad shit that all the comedians,[0:12:16]   all the artist comedians are doing the ads.[0:12:20]   You know, it used to be even when podcasting first started[0:12:23]   and people were doing these horrendous ads,[0:12:25]   at least it actually was something maybe they used[0:12:30]   or something, or at the very least,[0:12:32]   they would just play a commercial or something like that.[0:12:36]   It's turned into the biggest sideshow circus[0:12:39]   that we've ever seen.[0:12:40]   I mean, the amount of ads that these people are doing,[0:12:44]   and you know why they're doing it?[0:12:45]   They all felt guilty about doing this at first.[0:12:47]   They do one, and they couldn't believe their eyes[0:12:51]   when they got away with it,[0:12:53]   when not one person complained.[0:12:57]   I mean, the biggest complaint these podcasters get is,[0:13:00]   oh, man, there's too many ads,[0:13:02]   but don't worry, I can press fast forward.[0:13:04]   You can, I can't.[0:13:06]   I'm in bed.[0:13:08]   So they kept doing more, and they kept doing more,[0:13:10]   and Joe Rogan, the leader of all these guys,[0:13:13]   I mean, he's up to about 76 companies[0:13:15]   that he's working with simultaneously.[0:13:17]   He doesn't tell you if they're ads anymore.[0:13:19]   He just breaks all the rules.[0:13:21]   I was looking for my puffer, too.[0:13:24]   Here we go.[0:13:25]   So this video has to do with ads,[0:13:27]   and I hope this ad thing picks up.[0:13:29]   I really feel like it's coming soon.[0:13:31]   I've been complaining about this my entire career.[0:13:34]   I feel like in the next five years,[0:13:37]   the rest of the world's gonna catch up,[0:13:39]   and they're gonna start hating ads.[0:13:41]   They're gonna start resenting their favorite influencers[0:13:44]   for all these ads.[0:13:46]   They're gonna start digging into them.[0:13:48]   I really believe this is the future.[0:13:50]   Comedy curator, at least he knows.[0:13:54]   Here it is, money.[0:13:56]   It's what comedians want,[0:13:58]   featuring Joe Rogan and his friends.[0:14:00]   Can you blow your nose with a Windex wiper?[0:14:03]   It's also a tech wipe.[0:14:05]   It's meant to be used on computers.[0:14:07]   Ooh, that burns![0:14:09]   I've been using only tech wipes on my nose,[0:14:11]   and I got a real crust problem building.[0:14:14]   Ladies and gentlemen, it's the beginning of Red Bar.[0:14:17]   It's comedy curator.[0:14:19]   It's a hit debut video.[0:14:21]   No one has seen this yet.[0:14:23]   Welcome to Red Bar![0:14:24]   Let's have that first drink.[0:14:25]   Thank you so much to Bud Light Seltzer[0:14:26]   for being a presenting sponsor.[0:14:28]   We love these drinks,[0:14:29]   and can't wait to tell you more about them.[0:14:31]   Keep listening for more.[0:14:32]   Want to try one of these pineapple jalapeno drinks?[0:14:35]   Welcome.[0:14:38]   This episode of Whiskey Ginger[0:14:39]   is brought to you by Buffalo Trace.[0:14:41]   Buff Trace.[0:14:42]   This episode is brought to you by Blue Chew.[0:14:43]   I'm trying to help you out, man.[0:14:45]   A lot of the things we advertise,[0:14:46]   we don't even know what they are[0:14:48]   before we read the ad.[0:14:51]   The best things in life are free,[0:14:54]   but you can give them to the birds and bees.[0:14:57]   They won![0:14:58]   Yes![0:14:59]   Whoa![0:15:00]   This is not a joke.[0:15:02]   I'm truly eating it right now.[0:15:03]   You gotta see the video.[0:15:08]   It's not about the money,[0:15:09]   but I won all of it.[0:15:11]   Wow![0:15:12]   Santino.[0:15:17]   Wow, look at that one![0:15:19]   This pandemic,[0:15:20]   nothing has helped me more than better health.[0:15:25]   These towels are...[0:15:27]   I have many more ads than I have spots for ads.[0:15:30]   I have what you call fuck you money.[0:15:32]   Oh.[0:15:33]   20 bucks will get back to you in a second.[0:15:35]   Glass man.[0:15:36]   I need more money.[0:15:38]   It's like people only do things because they get paid.[0:15:41]   Please, please, please, please,[0:15:42]   look at all that's happening right now.[0:15:44]   Welcome to Super Chat.[0:15:45]   You gotta pay the money,[0:15:46]   and we'll answer the question, you cheap bucks.[0:15:50]   Ah, they're smiling![0:15:51]   Please, purchase landscape.[0:15:53]   Money, money, money, money.[0:16:00]   You gotta see this video.[0:16:03]   Even Lexi.[0:16:04]   Underwear, which I'm using right now.[0:16:06]   Two dollars.[0:16:07]   Fuck you.[0:16:08]   I'm not answering for that bullshit.[0:16:10]   Hey, make sure you guys are drinking kilks.[0:16:13]   What do we want?[0:16:14]   Dollar.[0:16:15]   Is this a fucking ad?[0:16:16]   No.[0:16:18]   Look at these sponsors go by.[0:16:20]   Joe Rogan.[0:16:23]   That's what he wants.[0:16:27]   It's legit.[0:16:28]   Oh, that's delicious.[0:16:29]   Let's get some sponsors.[0:16:30]   If you work for a liquor company,[0:16:31]   hit us the fuck up.[0:16:32]   We'll promote your shit at a cost.[0:16:34]   At a cost.[0:16:39]   The comedy curator with money.[0:16:43]   How epic.[0:16:44]   You gotta see that video.[0:16:45]   Comedy, throw that up on YouTube.[0:16:46]   Give drools a link so we can start sharing that right now today.[0:16:50]   I think I can share the link.[0:16:51]   It's just private right now.[0:16:52]   Yeah, well, that's what I mean.[0:16:54]   Unprivate, CC, and get that going.[0:16:57]   I think that's legendary.[0:16:58]   Hopefully, maybe that'll get the ball rolling with these fans.[0:17:02]   These sex-obsessed Chris D'Elia fans.[0:17:04]   It won't.[0:17:05]   They'll think it's cool.[0:17:06]   Really, there's no changing anyone's mind anymore these days.[0:17:10]   I mean, you look at Steven Crowder's fan base.[0:17:12]   They're loving what he's doing.[0:17:15]   They find him to be the exact opposite of what I find him to be.[0:17:19]   Chris D'Elia's fan base.[0:17:20]   I mean, they love this stuff.[0:17:22]   We might have the opportunity to talk to a Chris D'Elia insider coming up.[0:17:28]   I don't know.[0:17:29]   I mean, I didn't really go over this, but somebody contacted us here.[0:17:32]   They said they got some scoops.[0:17:34]   Somebody very close to C. Delie.[0:17:37]   Yikes, man.[0:17:38]   I'm very excited.[0:17:39]   A lot of people contacting us.[0:17:41]   A lot of good things happen.[0:17:42]   I'm getting a lot of weird emails.[0:17:44]   People screaming at me lately.[0:17:46]   Wives of certain podcasters.[0:17:49]   I didn't even tell Jules this.[0:17:51]   I didn't want to ruin her week.[0:17:52]   Wait, what?[0:17:53]   This is exactly, yes.[0:17:55]   Wives.[0:17:56]   I'm not going to give this one away yet.[0:17:58]   Oh, you know what?[0:17:59]   I also had a flower for my drink.[0:18:03]   Oh, cute.[0:18:05]   There's some podcaster wives are emailing me saying,[0:18:09]   you don't talk about that.[0:18:11]   Who?[0:18:12]   Now George Floyd got a little white wrap, bro.[0:18:14]   Don't flip out.[0:18:15]   I'm not going to tell you who.[0:18:16]   Uh-oh, don't flip out.[0:18:17]   What's going on the stream?[0:18:18]   I think I need to refocus on you.[0:18:20]   I'm out of focus, they're saying?[0:18:22]   No, I just think you are.[0:18:24]   Okay.[0:18:25]   A real rough start to the podcast.[0:18:27]   And you know, that doesn't mean that this was an actual rough start.[0:18:31]   Some of our clippers, they really will take what you say seriously.[0:18:35]   If I didn't say there was a rough start to the podcast,[0:18:39]   they wouldn't know there's a rough start.[0:18:41]   But if I fake say, she's trying to focus on me.[0:18:43]   If I fake say there was a rough start, they'll go,[0:18:45]   oh, there was a rough start to this podcast.[0:18:48]   Oh, so you don't want to even tease with them.[0:18:51]   Welcome all clippers.[0:18:52]   The clippers have gone insane.[0:18:54]   Much better.[0:18:55]   Great.[0:18:56]   Go to YouTube.[0:18:57]   Well, was my whole drink out of focus here now?[0:18:59]   Better not have been.[0:19:00]   No, it wasn't really bad.[0:19:01]   It was just.[0:19:02]   Because that's going to be the thumbnail of me composing this drink.[0:19:05]   Go to YouTube right now.[0:19:06]   Type in red bar, sort by new.[0:19:09]   It's incredible.[0:19:10]   And I love the work that they're doing.[0:19:12]   Some of these guys are just great.[0:19:14]   And again, they're all invited to the annual clippers dinner coming up this week.[0:19:19]   Nobody is RSVP'd yet.[0:19:21]   Of course, I haven't sent out any invitations or emails or messages,[0:19:26]   but we'll see what happens at this week's dinner.[0:19:29]   OK, we've got a great show.[0:19:30]   We've got a great, great, great, great, great show.[0:19:33]   The Iron Patriot, I will be limiting your posts.[0:19:36]   I'm going to turn that thing on where I have to approve your posts,[0:19:39]   but that might drive me mad.[0:19:41]   You know, the Iron Patriots now in the bring back group, we were talking about this.[0:19:45]   It's posted about 70 times.[0:19:46]   I haven't read one of these.[0:19:47]   This is like the emails he sends me.[0:19:49]   In 2003, I was actually awarded the Venomence Award for.[0:19:54]   I don't.[0:19:55]   I do care.[0:19:57]   I don't want to say I don't care.[0:19:58]   I just can't read.[0:19:59]   You know, when people send me and here's a pro tip for sending me messages,[0:20:03]   make them so short and I'll read them.[0:20:06]   I'll go to Instagram and I'll click on some of these messages here and they're so long.[0:20:12]   And it's not that I don't want to hear what you have to say.[0:20:14]   It's just that's it's very hard for me to to to read all that like logistically.[0:20:20]   I kind of think of the Iron Patriots messages like I recently followed him on Twitter[0:20:25]   and he started sending me all of the same messages that he sends you.[0:20:29]   And I think it's just like his newsletter, like he has a thought and then he posts it.[0:20:35]   And messages it to every single.[0:20:37]   I think that's how he thinks of it is here's this newsletter.[0:20:41]   Here are these updates about me.[0:20:43]   Skip over them if you don't.[0:20:45]   I don't think he cares if you read them or not.[0:20:47]   I mean, I hope because I never respond.[0:20:49]   I respond to one email out of 50 to him every month just so he doesn't kill me.[0:20:56]   And he doesn't seem to complain.[0:20:58]   So I could turn on this post approval thing in the bring back group.[0:21:02]   But then that's what 17 hours of work for me every week to approve his post.[0:21:07]   So it's just going to be madness for a while.[0:21:10]   I guess we'll see what happens.[0:21:12]   Join our Facebook group.[0:21:13]   It's incredible at redbarradio.net slash BBG.[0:21:16]   And again, this is a Scars Club episode.[0:21:18]   I believe you interrupted my first plug here at the beginning.[0:21:21]   Tried to throw me off.[0:21:23]   Redbarradio.net slash Scars Club.[0:21:27]   Consider joining this.[0:21:29]   Think about what you're getting.[0:21:31]   Think about the price.[0:21:32]   It's very, very cheap.[0:21:33]   I saw a guy email me.[0:21:34]   Can I get free Scars Club?[0:21:36]   Absolutely not.[0:21:37]   This is so cheap.[0:21:38]   You know, when I got guys, you should see these guys.[0:21:42]   These other people who do shows.[0:21:44]   $20 a month.[0:21:46]   They're charging $15.[0:21:47]   You know how filthy rich I'd be if I was doing $20 a month?[0:21:51]   Some people pay Jesse P.S. $40 a month for his pizza fund.[0:21:56]   Let's not talk about him.[0:21:57]   But there's some people who have tiers.[0:21:59]   Have you seen these tier systems?[0:22:01]   For $10 a month, you could get all the bonus content.[0:22:05]   But if you'd like to pay 20 or 40, no, sorry.[0:22:11]   Sorry.[0:22:12]   That's not nice.[0:22:14]   And you know there's going to be people who do it.[0:22:16]   They want to stand out.[0:22:17]   They want to be, you know, employee of the month.[0:22:21]   I could easily do that.[0:22:22]   I could have a million tiers.[0:22:24]   Oh, for $50, you get to be Mike's bee buddy.[0:22:27]   Do you know?[0:22:29]   For $100, you get to be Jules' fantastic tampon.[0:22:35]   We're not going to do that.[0:22:37]   But we ask that you join.[0:22:38]   Don't take advantage and start.[0:22:40]   Oh, I'll just watch for free.[0:22:41]   I'll make sure that I take the day off work and watch it for free.[0:22:44]   And then I'll watch all the clips.[0:22:45]   Stop skirting around this payment and join Scars.[0:22:51]   You know, look what I'm doing for you.[0:22:52]   I'm risking my life here every week.[0:22:54]   Every week I risk my life for you.[0:22:56]   Yeah, he went on some rant.[0:22:57]   He went on some rant about how he's risking his life.[0:23:00]   That's what they're going to say.[0:23:01]   You should start doing Zoom call dates with a winner each month.[0:23:06]   I will do nothing.[0:23:08]   This is what I'll do.[0:23:09]   Once a week you get this and that's all you see of me.[0:23:13]   It's more – that's the way this should be done.[0:23:18]   Everybody else that you're seeing more than once a week is insane.[0:23:21]   They're insane.[0:23:22]   And don't let them set the standard for what's normal on the internet.[0:23:26]   Most people aren't normal.[0:23:27]   Being on the internet right now is not normal.[0:23:30]   Even the people who are commenting and posting everywhere, we're forgetting, you know,[0:23:35]   we're all on this internet and we think that this represents everybody.[0:23:39]   Half the world is not on this internet doing it the way we're doing it here.[0:23:43]   So just because Lex Fridman is up every night on Clubhouse talking to 2,500 people doesn't[0:23:49]   mean that I'm going to do that.[0:23:50]   You're going to see me once a week, maybe once every year.[0:23:55]   And it makes it much nicer.[0:23:56]   You only see me here.[0:23:57]   You only see me in this frame.[0:23:59]   You don't see me here.[0:24:00]   You don't see me there.[0:24:01]   There's no picture of us laughing it up in a car.[0:24:05]   Nobody's running around driving.[0:24:07]   There's no Zoom calls.[0:24:08]   There's no Skype calls.[0:24:10]   There's no chats.[0:24:11]   There's nothing.[0:24:13]   Is anybody else even able to do that on the internet right now without panicking that[0:24:20]   they're leaving a nickel on the floor?[0:24:23]   Is anybody willing to leave a nickel on the floor?[0:24:27]   And I'm the Jew.[0:24:35]   I'm the host that hisses at me.[0:24:37]   I'm the host that never misses.[0:24:38]   I'm the host that guesses things and gets them right.[0:24:42]   I say when I walk in a room, I say to her, which way to the room?[0:24:49]   All the way.[0:24:51]   Hey, hey, hey![0:24:53]   Oh, you're in for a treat.[0:24:57]   You're in for my feet.[0:24:59]   Yeah, I'll give you a little kick in your ass.[0:25:02]   Yeah, I'll give you a kick in my munch up in your ass.[0:25:06]   You've got an excellent show.[0:25:07]   Give them some content here already or they're going to kill me.[0:25:10]   Do you guys want to hear a hilarious joke from Sam Morrell that I've been thinking about all day?[0:25:14]   Sam Morrell?[0:25:15]   Really, I can't stand Sam Morrell.[0:25:19]   This guy, there's nobody worse than him.[0:25:21]   Maybe Joe Liz.[0:25:22]   He has no morals.[0:25:23]   He's got no morals.[0:25:24]   This date rapist?[0:25:26]   No, I don't think he's every day raped anybody.[0:25:29]   Now, is it illegal to call somebody a date rapist?[0:25:32]   You could say I perceive him as a date rapist.[0:25:34]   I perceive him as a date rapist.[0:25:37]   I don't like this guy.[0:25:39]   You know, he's Sam Morrell.[0:25:40]   Do we all know him? Curly hair?[0:25:42]   Hey, it's me, Sam Morrell.[0:25:45]   Imagine that motherfucker at that bar on that Wednesday night.[0:25:51]   Coming up to you as a girl.[0:25:53]   He's got his drink.[0:25:55]   Hey, what are you?[0:25:57]   And he uses like really romantic.[0:26:01]   Not romantic.[0:26:02]   What would you call it?[0:26:03]   Like George Clooney.[0:26:04]   He probably tries to fall into this Clooney lifestyle at the bar and he sees you.[0:26:10]   Hey, beautiful.[0:26:11]   He's got a lot of sayings that I can't even repeat because I don't know him.[0:26:16]   You're a whirlwind.[0:26:18]   You know, and he's swirling his glass and hovering over you at the bar and you're this little girl.[0:26:23]   Uh-oh.[0:26:24]   Sam Morrell?[0:26:25]   Is he on Netflix?[0:26:26]   What do we got from him this week?[0:26:28]   Just a joke that he posted.[0:26:30]   Did a joke on Twitter.[0:26:31]   Look at this.[0:26:32]   They're posting jokes on Twitter.[0:26:33]   Unbelievable.[0:26:34]   You know, I go on Twitter sometime to talk to two guys.[0:26:37]   It's not even worth it.[0:26:39]   Oh, he posted a video here.[0:26:41]   A joke.[0:26:42]   Sam Morrell.[0:26:43]   He's got a blue checkmark.[0:26:44]   You know what that means?[0:26:45]   You know, I just found out Dave Portnoy from Barstool Sports.[0:26:49]   He doesn't have a blue checkmark.[0:26:51]   Nope.[0:26:55]   Because you got to ask for one.[0:26:57]   You have to ask for one.[0:27:00]   Really consider that.[0:27:01]   Every blue checkmark you see.[0:27:03]   They weren't just, they didn't just wake up one day and they hit a certain number.[0:27:08]   Or Twitter said, hey, this guy's got a certain flair to him.[0:27:12]   Certain popularity.[0:27:13]   Here's that blue.[0:27:14]   No, no, no.[0:27:15]   They campaigned for it.[0:27:17]   It's like being, you know, you always go, oh, why wasn't No Effects nominated for a[0:27:22]   Grundy this year?[0:27:23]   A Grammy.[0:27:24]   A Grammy this year.[0:27:25]   Well, they didn't campaign.[0:27:26]   You got to submit.[0:27:29]   Submission.[0:27:30]   Think about that term.[0:27:31]   Submitting an application.[0:27:33]   Submitting to be nominated to the Grammy.[0:27:36]   Submitting an application to Twitter for the blue check.[0:27:38]   I don't submit to people, okay?[0:27:41]   I'm not one of Joe Rogan's friends.[0:27:45]   Here's Sam Morrell with a joke.[0:27:46]   I see this blue checkmark.[0:27:48]   Oh, thank you, Twitter, because I would have confused him with somebody else.[0:27:52]   There's a lot of imposters doing Sam Morrell impostership on Twitter.[0:27:57]   Thank you so much for setting the record straight.[0:27:59]   He must be so famous.[0:28:00]   I just need to know what everyone else thinks of this because I can't stop thinking about[0:28:04]   it.[0:28:06]   I was listening to the Jay-Z album.[0:28:08]   Let's really fuck this guy up metaphysically today.[0:28:12]   The Jay-Z album, the new one.[0:28:14]   I listen to rap the way it was meant to be listened to by a pale Jew in an elliptical.[0:28:18]   You Jewish?[0:28:20]   I like that album, that new one where he talks about saving money.[0:28:24]   There's a whole track about investing money.[0:28:26]   That's like the whole song.[0:28:27]   He's like, this is where I save.[0:28:30]   Rappers are living longer now.[0:28:36]   You didn't hear songs like that 15 years ago.[0:28:38]   Back in the day, he was like, big pimp and spend and jeez.[0:28:41]   Now he's like, you've got to make your money work for you.[0:28:44]   That's not that funny.[0:28:46]   Yeah, that's what everybody's doing.[0:28:48]   That's what Logan Paul's doing.[0:28:50]   That's what Tim Dylan's doing.[0:28:51]   You know, get me that clip of Tim Dylan with his venture capitalist bullshit.[0:28:56]   He was finally on BFFs.[0:28:57]   Well, you've got to hear the end.[0:28:59]   We can show that next.[0:29:01]   Yeah, that's what everyone's doing, Sammy.[0:29:06]   Are you motherfuckers familiar with long-term growth?[0:29:09]   Look at the end of this.[0:29:10]   Then drop a beat.[0:29:14]   Look at the punchline.[0:29:17]   Hold on, we've got to see this again.[0:29:18]   I cut it off a little bit.[0:29:20]   You've got to see this punchline here.[0:29:23]   And look at the face.[0:29:25]   Hi, Sam.[0:29:29]   Where do I sign up to be your fiancé that doesn't work out or something?[0:29:34]   You're fucking done.[0:29:37]   Listen to this punchline again.[0:29:41]   And you know, it's the laziest thing.[0:29:43]   Believe me, for comedians have done this for years where they go over what rappers say.[0:29:49]   It's the most racist thing you could do.[0:29:51]   Have you heard the lyrics of this rap song?[0:29:53]   And then you talk it out and everyone laughs because it's so ridiculous.[0:29:57]   Yeah, poetry is ridiculous.[0:29:58]   When talked out by you on a stage,[0:30:01]   how dare you make fun of rap artists?[0:30:04]   Nice coat.[0:30:05]   Where'd you get that coat?[0:30:06]   Was it cheap?[0:30:07]   Listen to this ending again.[0:30:09]   Like, you've got to make your money work for you.[0:30:15]   Are you motherfuckers familiar with long-term growth?[0:30:19]   Then drop a beat.[0:30:21]   That's what the rapper?[0:30:22]   Ooh, look at his face.[0:30:24]   That's what the rapper is supposed to say?[0:30:26]   Yo, you mother...[0:30:27]   And he can't do a black voice because that's been bullied out of him by the public that he wants to remain on good terms with.[0:30:34]   Right? He can't do a black voice.[0:30:36]   He can't really follow the joke without hearing a black rap voice.[0:30:42]   But what he wanted to say is, yo, you motherfuckers familiar with long-term growth?[0:30:47]   Now, what he forgot to do is he forgot to, like, put the answer in.[0:30:51]   You know, apparently this rapper is going around.[0:30:55]   He's changed, right?[0:30:57]   He used to rap about spending Gs, right?[0:30:59]   Big pimpin'.[0:31:00]   But now this rapper that he's mentioning is talking about savings, 401Ks, stuff like that.[0:31:07]   It's very funny.[0:31:08]   So he's going around to his friends, his buddies, or maybe his audience.[0:31:12]   You motherfuckers familiar with long-term growth?[0:31:16]   And then Sam says, then drop a beat.[0:31:22]   But what does this mean?[0:31:23]   So the rapper asked this question.[0:31:25]   Does the crowd or do the people use it?[0:31:27]   Are they familiar with long-term growth?[0:31:29]   Did they say yes or no?[0:31:31]   It really.[0:31:32]   Here, let's.[0:31:33]   Again, I know.[0:31:34]   And she's like, you got to make your money work for you.[0:31:41]   Are you motherfuckers familiar with long-term growth?[0:31:45]   Okay.[0:31:46]   Then drop a beat.[0:31:47]   Is it yes?[0:31:48]   Yes, we're familiar with it.[0:31:50]   Then drop a beat.[0:31:51]   I'm going to sing you a song.[0:31:52]   Is that what you mean?[0:31:53]   And if they said no, then drop a beat and I'll do a rap about it.[0:31:59]   I don't know, but.[0:32:00]   Drop a beat.[0:32:02]   What's that about?[0:32:04]   I did not like that drop a beat.[0:32:06]   Drop a beat.[0:32:08]   Who says drop a beat?[0:32:09]   Who says drop a beat?[0:32:11]   Fred Durst?[0:32:12]   Once?[0:32:16]   Jesus Christ.[0:32:17]   Stop.[0:32:18]   Why won't it stop here?[0:32:19]   And is it even crazy for Jay-Z to be, like, isn't that always kind of been his thing?[0:32:28]   No.[0:32:29]   At least for the past, like, 10 years.[0:32:31]   What is this guy so fucking happy about?[0:32:32]   I mean, he listens to Mumford and Sons.[0:32:36]   Are you motherfuckers familiar with long-term growth?[0:32:40]   Then drop a beat.[0:32:41]   Drop a beat.[0:32:42]   Look at that.[0:32:43]   Yeah, the comedians.[0:32:45]   Wait.[0:32:46]   Wait.[0:32:47]   The comedians' charisma.[0:32:49]   Ooh.[0:32:52]   Sorry for forcing you to watch this, but I saw it yesterday and it was really bothering me.[0:32:56]   No apology.[0:32:57]   No apology.[0:32:58]   No apology.[0:32:59]   Look at the comedian charisma.[0:33:01]   Ooh.[0:33:02]   Oh, my God.[0:33:03]   That's right.[0:33:04]   Yes, I'll accept your rose.[0:33:07]   Did I really just say that?[0:33:08]   I'm coming to your town, bro.[0:33:11]   And it's going to be bad.[0:33:13]   You seen the movie Critters 3?[0:33:16]   Ooh.[0:33:17]   I cannot stand comedian charisma.[0:33:21]   We've got a lot of stuff here today.[0:33:22]   Can I show this Dave Portney stuff or did you want to save that for later?[0:33:25]   Yeah, let's do it now.[0:33:26]   Timmy.[0:33:27]   Timmy Dillon, come on down.[0:33:29]   Oh, man, did we catch Tim Dillon in some embarrassment here.[0:33:33]   This is really weird because Tim Dillon's been.[0:33:36]   He's getting big.[0:33:39]   But there's a dark side to Tim Dillon.[0:33:41]   This venture capitalist money side to Tim Dillon.[0:33:46]   We've been covering this a lot, this pandering side to Tim Dillon, this wanting to be famous thing.[0:33:52]   He wants to hang.[0:33:53]   I mean, he really is the James Charles of comedy right now, which is it's bittersweet, you know, with him.[0:34:00]   I like Tim Dillon's comedy.[0:34:02]   I think it's something we need.[0:34:05]   It needs to go into that further realm.[0:34:08]   At least when I see that he's going to be on a podcast, I'm interested to hear what he's going to say.[0:34:13]   Of course, but that interest is becoming more predictable.[0:34:17]   It's becoming less interesting and he definitely is safe-ening it up.[0:34:23]   And his motives are based in clout, unfortunately.[0:34:30]   We've done the research.[0:34:32]   We took this to multiple labs.[0:34:34]   It's been tested.[0:34:35]   And unfortunately, the results are he is doing most of this for clout while trying to keep his based audience, none the wiser.[0:34:47]   So he gives the based audience just a little bit to keep them.[0:34:50]   Oh, yeah.[0:34:51]   He knows about.[0:34:53]   OK.[0:34:54]   Well, he campaigned.[0:34:57]   And you know what?[0:34:58]   What do we hate around here?[0:34:59]   Campaigning.[0:35:00]   Yes, of course.[0:35:01]   You don't campaign.[0:35:02]   You live your life.[0:35:03]   You do your best and you hope for the best.[0:35:06]   OK.[0:35:07]   Like me going to a bar in my 20s.[0:35:11]   I went to buy.[0:35:12]   I was telling Jules this the other day.[0:35:13]   You know, you should do a deep dive into your 20s and remember what the hell you were doing once in a while.[0:35:18]   It's startling.[0:35:19]   You know, I was thinking about how you go to bars and you just don't have enough life experience.[0:35:26]   You just assume something's going to happen tonight.[0:35:29]   You remember that itch when you were in your 20s?[0:35:32]   Don't you remember how you had to go out every night?[0:35:35]   Unless you were a nerd, of course.[0:35:37]   But regular people.[0:35:38]   OK.[0:35:39]   I was a regular person in my 20s.[0:35:41]   I consider myself to be regular, meaning I participated in all of life's things here.[0:35:47]   And but it was that thing where you felt like you had to go out every night.[0:35:51]   And then you'd go out every night and you do the same things, but you'd expect these, you know, scenarios to happen.[0:36:00]   Maybe stuff you would see in movies and TV show.[0:36:03]   You'd go to a bar, you'd expect some stuff to happen, but you didn't put in any work to make any of that stuff happen.[0:36:09]   You know what I mean?[0:36:10]   But I think that's the way life should be.[0:36:13]   You shouldn't try to concoct scenarios for yourself.[0:36:18]   You should really do your best.[0:36:21]   Don't do too, too much to make things happen.[0:36:28]   But then, you know, just see what happens if it doesn't really happen.[0:36:31]   Don't force it.[0:36:34]   Tim Dillon campaigned to be on BFFs.[0:36:38]   I love this show.[0:36:39]   It's Dave Portnoy from, is it Portney or Portnoy?[0:36:43]   I think you can choose.[0:36:45]   We love him.[0:36:46]   You know, talk about a guy who hasn't made a fool of himself yet.[0:36:50]   And even when he does make a fool of himself, it's very down to earth.[0:36:55]   It's very sweet.[0:36:56]   Very humble.[0:36:57]   Very sincere.[0:36:58]   And he's the owner of Barstool Sports.[0:37:03]   He's not even that rich anymore.[0:37:05]   $100 million.[0:37:06]   That's nothing to like the TikToker world.[0:37:09]   Did you guys hear Kanye is worth $6.6 billion?[0:37:13]   Well, this is what Kanye is saying.[0:37:16]   $6.6 billion.[0:37:18]   And the articles everywhere.[0:37:19]   This is a little tangent here.[0:37:21]   The articles everywhere is Kanye West is the richest black man in the world.[0:37:29]   In the world.[0:37:30]   In American history.[0:37:31]   Where in the world there's a black man living outside of America who's got more money than Kanye?[0:37:37]   He's got $6.6 billion.[0:37:39]   I guess not.[0:37:40]   Well, then what the hell are you talking about?[0:37:41]   Well, maybe there's some guy in like Saudi Arabia or something.[0:37:43]   That's not a black man.[0:37:45]   What kind of black man is living in Saudi Arabia?[0:37:48]   I don't know.[0:37:49]   I'm thinking of a very tan man.[0:37:51]   Okay.[0:37:52]   They're saying Kanye West.[0:37:53]   And the article is, this is real.[0:37:55]   The article is saying Kanye West is now the richest black man in the world.[0:38:01]   Excuse me?[0:38:02]   A what man?[0:38:04]   Why is it okay to separate black man from man and have a category for richest black man if you're not racist?[0:38:17]   Tell me.[0:38:18]   You're trying to make Jay Z feel bad.[0:38:20]   Tell me how it's not racist to say, oh, Kanye West, he's the richest black man.[0:38:26]   So is there a difference between black man and man?[0:38:29]   What's the difference here?[0:38:31]   Why not go into more subcategories?[0:38:33]   He's the richest guy with brown hair.[0:38:36]   He's the richest blue eyed man.[0:38:39]   He is the richest short man.[0:38:41]   He's the richest guy in six foot three.[0:38:44]   If you did all that, then I'd say it's not racist.[0:38:47]   There are categories.[0:38:49]   But to say, to write an article, Time magazine, all these magazines, Kanye West is the richest black man.[0:38:55]   Oh, so black men are different than white men?[0:38:58]   Thanks.[0:38:59]   Well, then don't ban me from Twitter.[0:39:02]   They're saying it's in the U.S., not the world.[0:39:04]   The richest black man is Aleppo Dancotti.[0:39:08]   Oh, Aleppo Dancotti.[0:39:09]   So respect him.[0:39:10]   Oh, well, that is a good friend of mine.[0:39:12]   I didn't know he had that much money.[0:39:13]   He always told me he was poor.[0:39:16]   He's a different hue.[0:39:18]   I think that's incredibly racist to separate him.[0:39:21]   The richest black man.[0:39:23]   Oh, so he's not a man.[0:39:24]   He's a black man.[0:39:25]   Okay, okay.[0:39:26]   $6.6 billion they say he has now.[0:39:30]   Just four years ago, he was $53 million in debt.[0:39:34]   I don't understand how he accured this much money.[0:39:38]   And then I looked up the net worth of Adidas, the company, and their net worth was only like 12 billion.[0:39:43]   So Kanye's because of Yeezy is worth half of the entire corporation.[0:39:47]   They're paying him that much money.[0:39:48]   I don't know.[0:39:49]   I think these guys all lie.[0:39:50]   I think they're constantly lying.[0:39:53]   And the big thing that they want to do is have that title, right?[0:39:58]   Okay.[0:39:59]   Tim Dillon campaigned to be on BFFs.[0:40:03]   And I love this.[0:40:04]   And the point I was making is $100 million, Dave Portney, he doesn't impress 22-year-olds anymore.[0:40:12]   Because 22-year-olds on TikTok and YouTube and these influencer kids, they grow up, their first mention of money is Kylie Jenner is worth $1 billion.[0:40:22]   To them, $1 billion is the minimum now you have to have for them to be impressed.[0:40:28]   Oh, I never thought about that before.[0:40:29]   Oh, yeah.[0:40:30]   They don't care about millions.[0:40:33]   If you don't have a billion, they're not.[0:40:36]   So they treat Dave Portney as if he's some bum.[0:40:39]   He has $100 million.[0:40:42]   But because – and his views aren't that high.[0:40:45]   You know, you go to BFFs, this show, with him and Josh Richards, who I love.[0:40:49]   TikTok, sorry.[0:40:51]   They've only got 200,000 views.[0:40:53]   So 200,000 views and $100 million, that's – they're doing him a favor by being on – these 10-year-old kids are doing him a favor.[0:41:02]   Anyway, there's this show.[0:41:05]   Dave Portney does.[0:41:06]   It's very good.[0:41:07]   It's called BFFs.[0:41:08]   It's Dave Portney and a 17-year-old TikToker named Josh Richards.[0:41:12]   And they discuss children and influencers.[0:41:16]   And it's this whole gossip show.[0:41:18]   It's very good.[0:41:19]   I love whenever we're talking about something like this.[0:41:21]   Okay.[0:41:22]   Again, the tech goes, wait, Mike and Jules don't know the difference between net worth and how much money someone has in the bank.[0:41:30]   What's his name?[0:41:31]   This guy knows net worth.[0:41:32]   What's his name?[0:41:33]   What's his name?[0:41:34]   Just letting everybody know I know about net worth.[0:41:36]   Whoa, what's his name?[0:41:39]   SkyKing949.[0:41:41]   SkyKing949.[0:41:44]   Hopefully you're going to be here for the next eight hours.[0:41:46]   I want everyone to shit on this guy throughout everything he says on the show.[0:41:52]   I want 10 people shitting on him.[0:41:55]   I don't know what he looks like.[0:41:56]   Find out what he looks like.[0:41:58]   Tease him.[0:41:59]   Torture him.[0:42:01]   It's way too early for that.[0:42:05]   That's the new version of the guy who goes, he'll only do one in prison.[0:42:10]   It is.[0:42:11]   You know, whenever somebody goes to prison and it's somebody people like, he'll be out in one.[0:42:15]   Oh, will he?[0:42:16]   Then I'll come up with some more lies to frame him because I want him in.[0:42:20]   I don't like these people.[0:42:22]   You know, you'll see like Baked Alaska when they charge him finally.[0:42:26]   Baked Alaska sentence done.[0:42:28]   He could do eight years in prison.[0:42:30]   And then you'll see, he'll be out in 30 days.[0:42:32]   He'll be out in one.[0:42:33]   Oh, you know more about the cops than us, huh?[0:42:37]   You know more about the jail system than me.[0:42:40]   You're so smart.[0:42:42]   Oh my God, you got all the facts that I forgot to say.[0:42:47]   Oh, Mike doesn't know the difference.[0:42:50]   I actually don't know the difference, okay?[0:42:54]   I don't know a lot about anything.[0:42:56]   All I watch is YouTube.[0:42:58]   You know, you guys know more.[0:42:59]   You'll get guys too, the political guys.[0:43:01]   Hey, man, dude, you're really funny, but leave, you know, I'd stick to comedy and not pop.[0:43:11]   I'd stick to comedy.[0:43:13]   The other people are telling, like Tony Hinchcliffe types, you're like, stick to politics.[0:43:16]   Leave the comedy to us.[0:43:17]   These guys are saying, leave the politics to us, okay?[0:43:21]   You don't really know a lot about that, okay?[0:43:24]   You watch YouTube, you know, that's more your thing.[0:43:28]   Okay.[0:43:29]   Well, maybe that's true.[0:43:31]   Anyway, Tim Dillon, he campaigned to be on BFFs, and it didn't go too well.[0:43:38]   Oh, it didn't go.[0:43:41]   This is kind of an interesting matchup, Dave Portnay versus Tim Dillon.[0:43:45]   Well, yeah, because, so Tim Dillon is obsessed with clout chasing and furthermore, networking with, and get that venture capitalist, okay, good.[0:43:56]   He wants to, he's got this obsession, and it started early on, and we thought it was a joke, but jokes, you know, when you're upset, it's like if I was still doing Mama, Hela Klein's Mama.[0:44:08]   That's a good one, you know?[0:44:10]   We bite onto a joke.[0:44:12]   It has maybe a, you know, even 444, it has maybe a four-month lifespan, and then it goes away.[0:44:19]   So when I see Tim Dillon on his third year doing this money stuff as a bit, I start getting a little suspicious.[0:44:29]   Remember it was, what was his, luxury homes.[0:44:33]   He's always trying to flex this money thing.[0:44:35]   He's always trying to stay at a very fancy hotel.[0:44:38]   He's always trying to stay at a very fancy Airbnb.[0:44:41]   But God has a way of punishing people and correcting when people oversteer, and God's doing a good job with this Tim Dillon.[0:44:52]   And God ain't happy with Tim Dillon's decisions thus far.[0:44:56]   You know, gluttony is not one of God's favorite things.[0:45:01]   Sin, and not to mention his lifestyle choices here.[0:45:07]   They're not, they don't bother me, those lifestyle choices.[0:45:11]   The uh, uh, uh, and the drop, the drop to your knee and to do all that stuff.[0:45:17]   And drop a beat.[0:45:19]   Those lifestyle choices don't bother me, but they're bothering somebody because Tim Dillon is getting it up the ass in many little ways.[0:45:27]   He had another, and I'll tell you this right now, he had another overnight stay related embarrassment.[0:45:37]   Okay, Mike, what is it?[0:45:39]   Tim Dillon had another overnight stay related issue.[0:45:44]   Um, this is really interesting.[0:45:46]   We all know about his Airbnb debacle, and it seems like the more he tries to flex on us, the more little incidents that he has.[0:45:55]   You know, we tried to buy a Range Rover.[0:45:57]   I saw this the other day, he had no credit, he walked into a dealership with no credit.[0:46:02]   He had the, the um, I can't believe we're reporting on this.[0:46:06]   He had the uh, the guy who worked at the dealership, you know, spend four or five hours with him.[0:46:12]   But how come he can't just buy a car?[0:46:14]   He gets a million dollars a year from his Patreon.[0:46:16]   Just use the money, just use the money.[0:46:17]   I know, buy cash.[0:46:18]   Stop, take, buy something with cash.[0:46:20]   I don't know what you're saving up for.[0:46:22]   Um, well, he had another overnight stay related embarrassment issue, and Dave Portney called him out.[0:46:30]   And again, this segment we're about to show you is, he worked really hard.[0:46:35]   He tried to get on this BFFs.[0:46:36]   I don't think Dave Portney likes him.[0:46:39]   I don't think he gets it, or I think he's turned off by him.[0:46:43]   So long story short, Tim goes on this show that he's been trying to get on forever to get this TikTok clout and fame.[0:46:51]   And he goes on and it didn't go well.[0:46:53]   Dave almost was getting to Rogan levels of not understanding Tim's bits.[0:47:00]   It was very great.[0:47:01]   It didn't go well, and Tim picked up on that right away.[0:47:05]   And uh, it's very funny to watch.[0:47:09]   Let's go to 5650 and we're going to hear this uh, overnight stay related piece of embarrassment.[0:47:17]   We all remember his Airbnb thing.[0:47:19]   So he goes, he's in Florida right now.[0:47:21]   He's always in a different state.[0:47:23]   Not for comedy.[0:47:25]   I think he likes to, you know how like I start the show, I want to show off my tiki, I want to show off my boots.[0:47:31]   He starts the show, he wants to show off a new beautiful location.[0:47:35]   But the people who listen to the show, they don't know about these hotels.[0:47:39]   And he always picks a frame that's really not that beautiful.[0:47:43]   So it doesn't come off, but you could see what he was trying to do here.[0:47:47]   You could show the beginning so people know what this podcast is.[0:47:49]   Okay, just start playing it from the beginning.[0:47:51]   I guess.[0:47:52]   Here we go, it's BFFs.[0:47:53]   I don't think we've ever shown BFFs before.[0:47:55]   No, we haven't.[0:47:56]   I love this show.[0:47:57]   It's Josh Richards and Dave from Barstool Sports.[0:48:00]   Here we go.[0:48:01]   Yo guys, welcome to the BFFs podcast YouTube channel.[0:48:04]   Make sure you guys subscribe, like the video before it starts.[0:48:07]   Let's get into it.[0:48:08]   Okay, BFFs.[0:48:09]   Loaded episode here.[0:48:11]   And that's what you're going to get with other shows.[0:48:13]   With other show, they got no audio engineer.[0:48:15]   They got nothing.[0:48:17]   So here they are.[0:48:18]   Here's Dave.[0:48:19]   Beautiful lighting, beautiful backgrounds.[0:48:22]   Here's Josh.[0:48:23]   Here's this cunt, Brianna.[0:48:26]   She's terrible.[0:48:27]   I think she got nipple rings or something.[0:48:29]   Really?[0:48:30]   What makes you say that?[0:48:31]   I was looking at a picture.[0:48:32]   What?[0:48:33]   Oh my God.[0:48:34]   You almost had a tiki accident.[0:48:35]   Look at that.[0:48:36]   I would have fucking gone crazy.[0:48:37]   Yeah, I know.[0:48:38]   Because I feel like we haven't really started with anything here today.[0:48:40]   And if I would have spilled that drink right now, I would have really gone crazy.[0:48:44]   I was looking at a picture of her tits the other day.[0:48:46]   No.[0:48:47]   Yes, I was.[0:48:48]   What do you mean no?[0:48:49]   Oh, you mean covered.[0:48:50]   Well, of course covered.[0:48:52]   All right.[0:48:53]   Let's see this damn show and wait till you hear this Tim Dillon stuff.[0:48:56]   We're going to have Tim Dillon join us in a little bit.[0:48:59]   We also last week did a segment that I thought was really good with Aiden Ross.[0:49:04]   Yeah.[0:49:06]   And we finished and he got embroiled in this controversy, which by the way, I wish we could[0:49:12]   ask him about because I had questions about it.[0:49:14]   But the thing exploded almost as we were getting ready to press play on the issue.[0:49:20]   So we're like, you know what?[0:49:21]   Let's hold on and see what's going on with this.[0:49:24]   We don't need any of this.[0:49:26]   There's the show.[0:49:27]   This is what they do.[0:49:28]   They sit around.[0:49:29]   They fucking talk.[0:49:30]   All right.[0:49:31]   Give me the first time code here today.[0:49:32]   5650.[0:49:34]   And you're going to see Tim Dillon.[0:49:36]   He shows up and he's at one of these lavish Florida hotels, probably spending around seven,[0:49:43]   eight hundred dollars a night.[0:49:45]   And it didn't work out too well.[0:49:48]   Fifty eight fifty six fifty fifty six fifty.[0:49:52]   All right.[0:49:53]   Here we go.[0:49:54]   And a bit there.[0:49:57]   Here we go.[0:49:58]   Brian, you're good to go.[0:49:59]   That's all of it.[0:50:00]   Go to get Roman dot com slash BFF.[0:50:04]   You can get your first month of swipes for just five bucks.[0:50:07]   Roman.[0:50:08]   OK.[0:50:09]   Another out here.[0:50:10]   Roman dot com slash BFF.[0:50:13]   Fuck better.[0:50:14]   Back to the show.[0:50:15]   Thanks.[0:50:16]   So you know what?[0:50:17]   You can hear.[0:50:18]   Here we go.[0:50:19]   Yeah.[0:50:20]   Tim Dillon.[0:50:21]   Yeah.[0:50:22]   Yeah.[0:50:23]   I apologize.[0:50:24]   All right.[0:50:25]   So welcome Tim Dillon to BFF.[0:50:26]   You basically invited yourself on.[0:50:27]   I think.[0:50:28]   I don't think Dave Portney likes that.[0:50:29]   He keeps doing these little things that lead me to believe that he's not head over heels[0:50:34]   for this Tim Dillon, whereas Tim, he's been trying to sneak into this Portney lap.[0:50:41]   He wants to be around these millionaires.[0:50:43]   He wants to be in Miami with these people hobnobbing, walking around from table to table.[0:50:50]   I mean, he's on clubhouse every night.[0:50:53]   Every night he's on class.[0:50:55]   You know why?[0:50:56]   And I figured this out about clubhouse.[0:50:57]   It's for people that want to see and be seen.[0:51:02]   It's a nightclub for nerds.[0:51:05]   It's bar hopping for nerds.[0:51:07]   It's the Miami nightlife scene for nerds.[0:51:11]   It's finally a place where Lex Fridman and Eric Weinstein and Tim Dillon could be the biggest.[0:51:18]   You know, Lex Fridman, Eric Weinstein and Tim Dillon walk into a Miami nightclub club Madonna.[0:51:24]   Nobody cares.[0:51:26]   They walk in the clubhouse.[0:51:27]   Ooh la la.[0:51:28]   Look who's in the room.[0:51:31]   It's Eric Weinstein and Tim Dillon and Lexi, sexy Lexi.[0:51:37]   They like this.[0:51:38]   This is what's driving Tim Dillon.[0:51:40]   And he's trying to get Dave Portney and he's been kind of cool about it.[0:51:44]   He hasn't gone hey, big Mike about it, but it's not working.[0:51:48]   And Dave doesn't like that he invited himself on.[0:51:51]   He thinks that's pretty low.[0:51:53]   I kind of think Tim should do the red bar method of not doing other people's podcasts.[0:51:58]   Wouldn't that be cool?[0:51:59]   I mean, Tim's in a lot of trouble and you're going to see him.[0:52:02]   He works best when it's just him doing his own thing.[0:52:05]   And sometimes that doesn't translate well to other shows, which is why you don't do interviews or other podcasts.[0:52:11]   So look at his background here.[0:52:13]   And again, this is, I knew this was going to happen.[0:52:15]   The minute I saw this, I said, oh, he's at another one of his luxury hotels.[0:52:19]   And the minute I saw this background, which is this just shitty gold drapes and a shitty beige couch,[0:52:27]   I go in Tim's mind, he knows and thinks this is luxury, but it's not reading on camera.[0:52:34]   Like if a regular person saw this, they're not going to think this is luxurious.[0:52:39]   But in Tim's mind, this is like Versace.[0:52:43]   This is like Liberace.[0:52:45]   Glamorous, right?[0:52:48]   And he spent a lot of time making sure he was in front of this setting.[0:52:52]   Watch this.[0:52:55]   This is my goal.[0:52:56]   I've done every big podcast in America except this.[0:52:59]   I've tried to get into the Sway House being 36 and overweight.[0:53:03]   I have faced a lot of discrimination in the TikTok community.[0:53:07]   Very few people are interested in my wisdom.[0:53:10]   So I love this podcast.[0:53:12]   I do watch it.[0:53:13]   I watch all the online beefs and the people that are feuding.[0:53:16]   And I just always want to get on and never got on.[0:53:19]   And I've called CAA, my worthless agents, and they go, pitch a movie or whatever.[0:53:25]   And I go, just get me on fucking BFFs, please.[0:53:28]   And we'll be done.[0:53:29]   First of all, are you in like a Holiday Inn right now?[0:53:32]   That is the worst backdrop ever.[0:53:35]   This is the worst backdrop, but it's a hotel called the Don Caesar in St. Petersburg, Florida.[0:53:40]   It's like a nice hotel.[0:53:41]   But it's Florida.[0:53:44]   Are you in a Holiday Inn?[0:53:48]   I mean, Tim went out of his way, spent probably $1,300 tonight to be in front of that curtain.[0:53:56]   What are you in a Holiday Inn?[0:53:58]   You know, because Dave Portney, he doesn't.[0:54:01]   It's funny because he's like kind of out of it.[0:54:03]   Like he doesn't get it.[0:54:05]   I would have gotten it.[0:54:06]   If I would have sent Tim in front of that, I would have gone.[0:54:08]   Yeah, it doesn't really read on camera, but I bet he's at a luxury hotel.[0:54:13]   When I first saw it, I said that it was a Holiday Inn too before Dave even said this.[0:54:15]   I know, you did too.[0:54:16]   Yeah, exactly.[0:54:17]   Not a lot of people are pretty in tune like me, but.[0:54:20]   And Dave sees this, and he can't help affords him.[0:54:25]   And Tim is actually really embarrassed here because his whole thing.[0:54:31]   And you know what?[0:54:32]   It's the exact same thing that happened with his polo.[0:54:36]   Let me explain something.[0:54:38]   He's wearing Ralph Lauren.[0:54:41]   That polo he wore every day, he was trying to characterize himself.[0:54:46]   He goes, I'll be the guy that wears the Ralph Lauren polo every day.[0:54:52]   You know, it's an expensive shirt, right?[0:54:55]   Especially in three acts.[0:54:57]   That's a lot of fabric.[0:54:58]   Go into the Ralph Lauren store.[0:55:00]   It's expensive.[0:55:03]   And again, it was another fail.[0:55:05]   He thought he was going to put this on and people thought, oh, he's like a golf course rich guy.[0:55:10]   Like a casual rich golf course clubhouse rich guy.[0:55:14]   And nobody understood.[0:55:16]   They said, what does he only have one shirt?[0:55:18]   Is he poor?[0:55:19]   Why does he keep wearing this shitty polo?[0:55:22]   And in his mind, he's going, ah, these fucking idiots.[0:55:24]   They don't understand luxury.[0:55:26]   They don't understand class.[0:55:28]   Well, I guess I'll stop wearing the blue.[0:55:31]   But he's with the blue polo again that none of you understood.[0:55:34]   So I love that he keeps failing on these flexes.[0:55:40]   So watch this.[0:55:41]   And again, look at Dave's little face.[0:55:44]   What do you think?[0:55:45]   You're rich.[0:55:46]   Do you think you've got money?[0:55:48]   And those two down there also shaking their head going.[0:55:52]   They're laughing.[0:55:53]   This little cunt here.[0:55:55]   Stay away from her.[0:55:57]   OK, watch.[0:55:58]   But watched him.[0:55:59]   This gets better.[0:56:00]   This is the worst backdrop.[0:56:01]   But it's not.[0:56:02]   It's a hotel called the Don Caesar in St. Petersburg, Florida.[0:56:03]   It's like a nice hotel, but it looks it's Florida.[0:56:06]   So I mean, it's like what?[0:56:08]   You know, it's it's nice.[0:56:10]   It's not a holiday in that that the what do you call her?[0:56:15]   And rape looks like trash.[0:56:16]   Yeah.[0:56:17]   That's what I was thinking.[0:56:18]   Nursing home nursing home from cheap ass.[0:56:24]   Take her home, Brianna.[0:56:26]   I mean, this is the girl that you wake up with in the morning.[0:56:28]   She's easy to get.[0:56:29]   Brianna, you wake up with her.[0:56:32]   One of her eyelashes is in your cup, you know, nursing home, nursing home.[0:56:38]   And he's sitting there.[0:56:39]   Motherfuckers and nursing home.[0:56:41]   Yeah.[0:56:42]   Cost as much as a fucking nursing home.[0:56:44]   You assholes.[0:56:45]   Josh Richards would never be caught dead in front of a curtain.[0:56:47]   So they were all making fun of it.[0:56:49]   And again, what makes this so great is he really went out of his way.[0:56:53]   Thought he was going to be, you know, like Mr. Belvedere showing up here.[0:56:58]   It's not a holiday in that that the what do you call her?[0:57:03]   And rape looks like a crash.[0:57:05]   Yeah, that's what I was thinking.[0:57:06]   Nursing home.[0:57:07]   All right.[0:57:08]   Yeah.[0:57:09]   These drapes have seen things.[0:57:10]   Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.[0:57:12]   I know this is so I'm going to I know this is so petty.[0:57:18]   He's trying to be agreeable.[0:57:20]   Oh, yeah.[0:57:21]   These drapes are.[0:57:22]   Oh, yeah.[0:57:23]   Because you probably spent 10 hours trying to pick the perfect backdrop.[0:57:27]   Watch.[0:57:28]   Watch his little face.[0:57:29]   And this is the most insecure.[0:57:31]   You'll see him show again.[0:57:33]   He wanted to be on this show.[0:57:35]   He really looks up to Dave and he wanted to play it cool.[0:57:39]   In his mind, he's going to come on the show, hit it off with Dave.[0:57:43]   And then he's in Miami with Dave.[0:57:46]   Huddled up with him and LeBron James having a little conversation.[0:57:49]   Fat Joe comes in.[0:57:50]   Oh, do you know Tim Dylan?[0:57:51]   Oh, he's my best friend.[0:57:53]   They that's what he's envisioning three months from now.[0:57:56]   And it's all kind of crumbling in real time.[0:58:00]   Maybe.[0:58:02]   I just like when Tim has overnight stay with a lot of people.[0:58:06]   Nobody else would cover this, especially for the length that we cover it.[0:58:10]   I hope you appreciate this.[0:58:12]   The what do you call it?[0:58:13]   Great looks like a crash.[0:58:15]   Yeah.[0:58:16]   This nursing home.[0:58:17]   All right.[0:58:18]   Yeah.[0:58:19]   These drapes have seen things.[0:58:21]   Oh, that's not the Tim Dylan we have seen.[0:58:27]   It's because Dave Portney gives him a little flutter[0:58:33]   because he wants to be a Richard with him in Miami.[0:58:39]   Imagine wanting to go to Miami.[0:58:43]   I took 30 grand and went to Miami.[0:58:47]   My best friend, he stole something from me.[0:58:51]   Dram.[0:58:52]   No.[0:58:53]   Oh, what is it?[0:58:54]   Valet.[0:58:55]   Valet.[0:58:56]   All right.[0:58:57]   Let's watch a little bit more.[0:58:58]   I know this probably doesn't read to everybody.[0:59:00]   No, they love it.[0:59:01]   Oh, they love it?[0:59:02]   Yeah.[0:59:03]   Thank God.[0:59:04]   People love overnight stay related embarrassments.[0:59:05]   Overnight stay related embarrassments with Tim Dylan.[0:59:08]   No one's covering this out there.[0:59:10]   No one.[0:59:11]   Just me.[0:59:12]   People go, Mike, why are you cut?[0:59:15]   Well, I'm not going to share my content with people.[0:59:18]   Nobody is covering this in the world.[0:59:22]   Only thing I'll say about that.[0:59:24]   What you just said of being 36 and overweight.[0:59:27]   Yeah.[0:59:28]   Discriminated against the, I mean, I'm 43.[0:59:30]   Right.[0:59:31]   And I'm a host with JAWS.[0:59:32]   So I don't know that that holds water.[0:59:34]   But you're in shape and a multi multi multi-millionaire.[0:59:37]   There's more parts, right?[0:59:38]   I can go to 116.[0:59:39]   116.[0:59:40]   Look at Brianna.[0:59:41]   You don't know about Tim Dylan yet, huh?[0:59:45]   This Brianna.[0:59:47]   116 something.[0:59:48]   What did you say?[0:59:49]   11600.[0:59:50]   You got to help me out here today.[0:59:52]   No problem.[0:59:53]   I'm losing my hearing, the doctor said.[0:59:54]   Your cup again.[0:59:55]   Careful.[0:59:56]   Oh my God.[0:59:57]   You know, let's get this over here.[0:59:59]   That's okay.[1:00:00]   116.[1:00:01]   Here we go.[1:00:03]   Let's hear this.[1:00:04]   What's this one going to be about?[1:00:05]   Just the hotel again.[1:00:06]   The hotel again.[1:00:07]   Listen to this.[1:00:08]   By the way, Tim, like, oh, JAWS is a billionaire.[1:00:11]   I'm making all this money.[1:00:12]   20,000 people, five bucks a month.[1:00:14]   All they're talking about is Patreon, so they went on.[1:00:17]   20,000 people, five bucks a month.[1:00:19]   What's the math on that?[1:00:20]   I think it's over a million.[1:00:21]   I mean a month.[1:00:23]   So Tim Dylan has a Patreon.[1:00:26]   20,000 members at $5 a month.[1:00:29]   And what do they get?[1:00:30]   So just so that he could do his YouTube show or did they get?[1:00:32]   I think he does extra podcast.[1:00:33]   Oh, he does extra.[1:00:34]   Really?[1:00:35]   Yeah.[1:00:36]   What is 20,000 times five?[1:00:38]   I mean, this shouldn't take longer than one second.[1:00:40]   $100,000 a month.[1:00:41]   Just 100,000?[1:00:43]   And what's 100,000 times 12?[1:00:45]   1,200,000.[1:00:49]   Less than I make.[1:00:51]   Just saying.[1:00:52]   All right.[1:00:53]   Let's see what he says here.[1:00:54]   Let's talk about that.[1:00:56]   Yeah.[1:00:57]   So you're rolling in it despite the curtain.[1:00:59]   Yeah.[1:01:00]   No, I mean, the hotel is nice.[1:01:02]   Look at that.[1:01:03]   You're rolling in it despite the curtain.[1:01:05]   Now watch Tim's response.[1:01:07]   This is interesting.[1:01:08]   And down with the holy move the cup.[1:01:10]   Move the cup.[1:01:11]   Stop it.[1:01:12]   This guy yelling.[1:01:13]   Move the fucking cup.[1:01:14]   But it's so beautiful.[1:01:15]   What does this bother you here?[1:01:17]   You know, you got a lot of these people who watch shows.[1:01:19]   They've got all these little.[1:01:20]   Oh, my God.[1:01:21]   When you fix the mic stand.[1:01:23]   Oh, it drives me crazy.[1:01:24]   Just fix it.[1:01:25]   Well, that annoys me, too.[1:01:26]   Oh, it annoys you.[1:01:27]   Really?[1:01:28]   I'd love for it to be fixed.[1:01:29]   I thought I didn't know anyone was annoyed by anything I did.[1:01:32]   I mean, it doesn't annoy me, but I wish it was fixed.[1:01:35]   OK, well, everybody's just got to close your eyes.[1:01:37]   It's just got to close your eyes at the annoying parts.[1:01:40]   All right, listen to this.[1:01:41]   So Tim Dylan again defeated.[1:01:43]   Look at his face.[1:01:44]   Does this look?[1:01:46]   This isn't the Tim Dylan we know.[1:01:47]   Watch this.[1:01:48]   You're rolling in it despite the curtain.[1:01:51]   Yeah, I mean, the hotel is nice.[1:01:53]   The hotel is not nice.[1:01:55]   Google Don Cesar.[1:01:56]   It's an iconic hotel in St. Pete Beach.[1:01:59]   I don't love the reno they did, but they didn't ask me.[1:02:02]   You literally look like you're in like a casino.[1:02:06]   There's four dead men in those seats in this hotel.[1:02:11]   You're getting bested by kids in a guy, Dave.[1:02:16]   They're railroading you, OK?[1:02:19]   This is like when he joins one of these all black orgies that he thinks that he's equipped for.[1:02:25]   Then he gets there and it's the guys are all a little tall, aren't they?[1:02:30]   There's four dead bodies.[1:02:31]   There's four dead hookers in this room right now.[1:02:33]   Michael goes to the bathroom, washing blood off his hands.[1:02:36]   Other than that, it's a lovely hotel.[1:02:38]   The breakfast is great.[1:02:39]   They just brought this hotel.[1:02:40]   This looks nothing like your hotel.[1:02:43]   Oh, my.[1:02:44]   I'm out right now.[1:02:45]   This is exactly the hotel.[1:02:47]   I have a hard time believing it without curtain.[1:02:49]   Are you in a janitor closet?[1:02:52]   Look at this.[1:02:53]   Here's the outside of this hotel.[1:02:54]   Look at this gay man's flamingo paradise.[1:02:57]   That actually makes me want to go to it.[1:02:59]   Well, of course.[1:03:00]   I mean, but Tim, what are you doing?[1:03:02]   You're solo staying at this place, dragging that psycho murderer with you.[1:03:07]   They said it's five seventy a night, by the way.[1:03:10]   Well, for which room?[1:03:12]   I mean, he probably has one of these rooms with these balconies that he could go out on.[1:03:17]   You know, this is Tim's room up here.[1:03:20]   Look at that.[1:03:21]   Tim's got this room, probably.[1:03:23]   And he really wanted to show off, but it didn't read.[1:03:26]   And he's got that psycho with him that again, Quentin Tarantino from dusk till dawn.[1:03:31]   You know, he's got his hand taped because somebody shot a bullet through it.[1:03:35]   That psycho don't want to stay here.[1:03:38]   You're forcing him and I bet you make him.[1:03:40]   No, Tim doesn't make people pay.[1:03:42]   But you should go back a couple seconds because Josh Richard goes, is that the janitor's closet?[1:03:47]   Is that the janitor's closet?[1:03:49]   Look at this.[1:03:50]   I have a hard time believing it without curtain.[1:03:52]   Are you in the janitor closet?[1:03:54]   You got to be the Don Caesar.[1:03:57]   It's a nice hotel, I'm telling you.[1:03:59]   It's good.[1:04:01]   But yeah, we're doing well.[1:04:04]   But um, but um, this ain't going well.[1:04:09]   You're bombing it.[1:04:10]   Tim doesn't say but um.[1:04:11]   And believe me, you know why he's nervous?[1:04:13]   The D'Amelio's are watching.[1:04:15]   Addison Rae is watching.[1:04:18]   Bryce Hall is watching.[1:04:21]   La Rae is watching.[1:04:24]   James Charles's friend is watching.[1:04:28]   He's nervous because he wants to get in with this TikTok world.[1:04:34]   And oh my God, do we have the part about why he moved to Austin?[1:04:38]   You're not going to believe this.[1:04:40]   So you guys remember when Tim Dillon said,[1:04:44]   I'm moving to Austin because I had a conversation with a very powerful, very rich person.[1:04:50]   I mean, this is what he's been telling us for the last three weeks.[1:04:54]   I thought he had a conversation with Elon Musk.[1:04:59]   The way Tim Dillon was making it sound.[1:05:01]   Do you guys remember this?[1:05:02]   Raise your hand if you remember this.[1:05:04]   He decided to move to Austin.[1:05:06]   It wasn't because of Joe Rogan.[1:05:09]   When Tim announced he was moving to Austin, Joe said,[1:05:11]   wow, I can't believe you're finally doing it.[1:05:13]   He goes, well, I had a conversation with some very powerful, a very powerful person.[1:05:18]   Very rich, very smart.[1:05:21]   And he told me Austin's the move.[1:05:23]   And I said, you know what?[1:05:24]   I'm going to do it.[1:05:25]   Wait till you find out.[1:05:27]   Of course, we thought it was Joe Rogan.[1:05:29]   We thought.[1:05:30]   No, no, no.[1:05:31]   I thought it was like Elon Musk or like a Weinstein.[1:05:34]   I thought Joe Rogan initially gave him the idea.[1:05:37]   And then a very smart, like Elon Musk guy.[1:05:41]   Very smart to Tim, of course.[1:05:42]   Not to me.[1:05:43]   Elon Musk to me is just a salesman.[1:05:46]   I thought that.[1:05:47]   I'm going to break it to you.[1:05:49]   I don't know if you guys know this guy.[1:05:50]   His name is Michael.[1:05:52]   Michael Gruen.[1:05:53]   Michael Gruen.[1:05:54]   Here, I'll let them explain who he is.[1:05:55]   Wait, wait, wait.[1:05:56]   No, no, no.[1:05:57]   Okay.[1:05:58]   Don't even do that.[1:05:59]   This is how I'll explain it.[1:06:00]   Michael Gruen is 22 years old.[1:06:08]   He's the owner and creator of TikTok's The Sway House.[1:06:16]   See Josh Richards.[1:06:18]   Josh Richards here.[1:06:19]   This little twinky 18-year-old kid is one of the Sway boys.[1:06:28]   The Sway House is a TikTok influencer house filled with dancing kids.[1:06:36]   Michael Gruen is 22 years old.[1:06:40]   He's the manager of the Sway House.[1:06:44]   That's his claim to fame.[1:06:47]   Tim Dillon was in a meeting with a 22-year-old kid and that kid told him,[1:06:55]   you got to move to Austin.[1:06:57]   And Tim said, oh, well, now I have to.[1:07:01]   I'm not kidding.[1:07:02]   Do you have the time code?[1:07:04]   I'm not fucking kidding.[1:07:06]   You want the short version or the long?[1:07:07]   Go to just 102.[1:07:08]   102.[1:07:09]   So this all started when they watched Tim do a bit about them.[1:07:13]   Yeah.[1:07:14]   Okay.[1:07:15]   102?[1:07:16]   Yes.[1:07:17]   Okay.[1:07:18]   Here we go.[1:07:19]   I couldn't believe it.[1:07:20]   I thought it had to be Elon Musk.[1:07:22]   It had to be some really big Gary Vee type of person because I've been hearing him on[1:07:28]   every podcast.[1:07:29]   Yeah, I decided to move to Austin after talking to this really smart millionaire.[1:07:33]   22-year-old kid as you'd convince him.[1:07:36]   I'm not kidding.[1:07:37]   Coin story is over.[1:07:40]   I think that's literally what happened.[1:07:43]   So they're showing a clip.[1:07:44]   Do I show this clip or is it right after this?[1:07:46]   You could skip ahead if you don't want to see the clip.[1:07:48]   This is just kind of the content.[1:07:54]   This is another problem.[1:07:55]   He keeps saying he lost 18 hunch on AMC.[1:08:00]   What's AMC?[1:08:01]   The movie theater stock?[1:08:04]   And why is this?[1:08:05]   Does this have something to do with Game Center?[1:08:06]   It was one of the meme stocks that people were trying.[1:08:08]   So AMC, the movie theater was a meme stock.[1:08:12]   For the last three weeks, he's been bringing up, yeah, I lost 1800.[1:08:16]   First of all, if you're making $100,000 a month, why would you even consider $1800 as[1:08:25]   a loss unless you only wanted to keep involving yourself in the AMC meme stock thing?[1:08:35]   I mean, in every episode, he's like, yeah, thanks to Dave Portney, I lost 1800.[1:08:40]   Now, that might sound like a lot to some regular normal human being.[1:08:45]   $1800.[1:08:46]   I mean, didn't we lose that last night at Arby's?[1:08:51]   Why would this be something that he keeps bringing up?[1:08:55]   There are a lot of mini subtle flaws with Jim Dillon.[1:09:00]   All right, watch this.[1:09:01]   Portnoy, I'm going to lunge at him when he's reviewing a pizza and bite his fucking neck.[1:09:06]   One bite only.[1:09:10]   He won't have me on that podcast with that TikToker.[1:09:13]   I've tried to get on like multiple times.[1:09:15]   No, he won't have me on.[1:09:16]   So he's talking about the podcast that he's on right now.[1:09:19]   They're showing a clip from a few weeks ago.[1:09:22]   This is how they found out about him.[1:09:23]   This is how they found out about him.[1:09:25]   Watch this.[1:09:26]   BFFs with him and the child that they discuss.[1:09:30]   Have you watched that?[1:09:32]   He does this thing.[1:09:33]   He says whatever he says.[1:09:34]   And then the kid is like, there's the kid's like, yeah.[1:09:39]   The response to everything Dave says.[1:09:42]   Dave's like, this is like this.[1:09:43]   The kid's like, yeah, that's fire.[1:09:47]   I had dinner with that kid.[1:09:49]   We all went out to dinner.[1:09:50]   He had dinner with Josh Richard, the kid who was just on the show that I kept showing you from TikTok.[1:09:57]   You had dinner with that 18-year-old little boy?[1:10:01]   Why?[1:10:03]   Why are you at dinner with 18-year-olds?[1:10:07]   Seriously?[1:10:08]   I mean, how old's Tim?[1:10:09]   38?[1:10:10]   36.[1:10:11]   36.[1:10:12]   Everyone's 36, by the way.[1:10:13]   Big Mike has been 36 since I've met him.[1:10:15]   Tim Dillon, 36.[1:10:16]   I'm the only one getting older.[1:10:18]   These people all stay 36.[1:10:20]   It's like they hit 36.[1:10:22]   Oh, I'm 36 for life.[1:10:24]   You're 39 now.[1:10:26]   How come I, when I hit 36, all of a sudden I was 38.[1:10:30]   What am I now?[1:10:31]   42?[1:10:32]   I don't even know.[1:10:33]   But there's no way Tim Dillon is younger than me.[1:10:35]   There's no way Big Mike's younger than me.[1:10:38]   I started out younger than them.[1:10:41]   And now they're younger than me.[1:10:43]   Does that make any sense at all?[1:10:45]   Have you ever met somebody like that growing up?[1:10:48]   Like growing up, I thought Britney Spears was 20 years older than me.[1:10:54]   Now we're the same age.[1:10:55]   It doesn't make any sense.[1:10:57]   All right, let's see this.[1:10:59]   And I was sitting there and literally we're all deciding on the appetizers and, you know,[1:11:03]   he's like sitting there and he's like.[1:11:05]   You and an 18-year-old boy from TikTok who dances.[1:11:08]   That's all he does, by the way.[1:11:09]   He's not a comedian or anything.[1:11:11]   The TikTok boy that he was at dinner with ordering appetizers with.[1:11:16]   You were sitting next to him discussing apps.[1:11:21]   And that guy does not do comedy, does booty-shaking TikTok.[1:11:26]   He has an ectomorph frame.[1:11:28]   Do you know what that is?[1:11:29]   You want to show one?[1:11:30]   Yeah, show one of this guys, Josh Richards.[1:11:32]   This is who Tim Dillon's dining with.[1:11:34]   And we're supposed to just breeze over that.[1:11:37]   Imagine if I said that I was dining with these people.[1:11:41]   And that's what I mean.[1:11:42]   What's going on?[1:11:43]   And look at this psycho.[1:11:44]   He's probably killed three TikTokers that have gone missing.[1:11:47]   Are there any TikTokers that have gone missing?[1:11:49]   Because he's probably accidentally pulled the trigger too soon.[1:11:52]   And Tim walks in.[1:11:53]   What have you done?[1:11:55]   Now I got to clean up your mess again.[1:11:58]   We're waiting for this here.[1:11:59]   Look, this is the guy he's with.[1:12:01]   Wait till you see this.[1:12:03]   Josh Richards, this hunk.[1:12:07]   You just got to scroll down to one where it looks like they're about to do a dance.[1:12:10]   Okay.[1:12:12]   This one?[1:12:13]   Sure.[1:12:14]   Here, let me zoom out a little bit.[1:12:16]   Oh, there it goes.[1:12:26]   Isn't that cool?[1:12:27]   Unlike other shows, I don't go, whoa, we're going to get demonetized.[1:12:30]   Turn the music off.[1:12:31]   We're going to get demonetized.[1:12:33]   How many podcasts on YouTube do you hear that?[1:12:36]   We're going to bleep that out.[1:12:37]   We're going to get demonetized.[1:12:40]   Even Brian Callen right now is bleeping things out so that he doesn't get censored.[1:12:46]   You don't hear any bleeps here?[1:12:48]   How am I able to not bleep?[1:12:50]   Brian Callen's got to do it, Ethan.[1:12:53]   This is the guy that he was out to lunch with for dinner.[1:13:05]   Tim likes that.[1:13:06]   Tim likey.[1:13:09]   And they're going to talk about, God forbid, what we were talking about here coming up.[1:13:13]   All right, watch this.[1:13:20]   Making fun of the kid you decided to go to dinner with.[1:13:25]   Does your crowd have any fucking clue who Josh or I, like that guy in the middle?[1:13:31]   That's it.[1:13:32]   That guy in the middle doesn't know who we are, right?[1:13:33]   Are they just laughing because the way you tell your story?[1:13:36]   Is he going to talk about this Michael?[1:13:38]   Yeah.[1:13:39]   Coming up.[1:13:40]   Okay, good.[1:13:41]   They know.[1:13:42]   The guy in the middle knows.[1:13:43]   You Dave, of course.[1:13:44]   I think even Josh, a lot of people know.[1:13:47]   I think maybe six months ago, no.[1:13:49]   But I think there's people that are really online that are kind of, I think they know,[1:13:55]   like if I make a joke about the D'Amelio sisters or something, everybody knows who it is.[1:13:59]   Like nobody's like, you know, we're six months or a year ago, nobody would know.[1:14:03]   But like, I think pretty much people are Bryce Hall trends on Twitter all the time.[1:14:08]   Like people know if they're, and obviously there's a certain amount of people that don't[1:14:12]   know.[1:14:13]   Right.[1:14:14]   But I think a lot of people know.[1:14:15]   What's funny about that dinner is Gruen was like no appetizers.[1:14:18]   Gruen.[1:14:19]   Gruen.[1:14:20]   Gruen is the 22 year old millionaire brainiac, according to Tim, that convinced Tim to move[1:14:29]   to Austin.[1:14:30]   His name is Michael Gruen.[1:14:31]   I got to look into this guy because they say he's like a mob boss kid.[1:14:36]   Do you guys remember the show California Dreams?[1:14:40]   It was a show about a high school band and I couldn't believe it.[1:14:44]   The band had another high school kid who was their manager.[1:14:49]   He was a slick talking weaselly guy who managed the band and he was like your typical Hollywood[1:14:57]   agent.[1:14:58]   But did it make sense?[1:14:59]   Because they were all in high school.[1:15:00]   They were all in the same grade.[1:15:03]   Sure one kid could possibly be more greedy, but they can't be that greedy.[1:15:07]   This Michael Gruen apparently is like the level of like Harvey Weinstein.[1:15:17]   Like that powerful in this TikTok space.[1:15:20]   And he's so powerful.[1:15:22]   He's got Tim Dillon, 36 years old, is attending meetings.[1:15:26]   I don't care House.[1:15:28]   I don't care if Elon Musk was 22.[1:15:30]   You don't attend a meeting with a 22 year old about business.[1:15:35]   You just don't.[1:15:36]   I don't care how successful that 22 year old was.[1:15:41]   A 22 year old doesn't know nothing about nothing.[1:15:46]   Even if he's made a billion dollars.[1:15:48]   Even if the 22 year old has made 70 billion dollars, he does not give life advice to 36[1:15:56]   year olds.[1:15:58]   And Tim, is he going to talk about this here?[1:16:00]   Listen to this.[1:16:01]   Appetizers came.[1:16:02]   He was all over them.[1:16:03]   He was like, no, I'm good.[1:16:04]   Hey, I'm good on the appetizers tanks.[1:16:06]   And then when they came, he was like double fisting truffle pizzas and calamari.[1:16:11]   But as far as the Gruen take, he's a fascinating Batman villain.[1:16:15]   I think like he's amazing.[1:16:17]   He's one of the most interesting.[1:16:20]   They're talking about the kids.[1:16:21]   People I've ever met.[1:16:23]   I think within five minutes of meeting him, I turn to the guy who does my pizza.[1:16:26]   He's Frank.[1:16:27]   I'm like, that's the most obnoxious dude I've ever met in my life.[1:16:30]   Now I know him better.[1:16:32]   It takes a while to figure out.[1:16:35]   And we talk about is he just all talkers and he's not.[1:16:39]   He's just an interesting cat.[1:16:41]   He's an interesting dude.[1:16:42]   How did that dinner come up that you guys were together?[1:16:45]   Michael Gruen just I don't know what happened, but Michael Gruen just set up a call with[1:16:51]   me out of nowhere.[1:16:52]   We had never.[1:16:54]   Life, man, it's just like it happens.[1:16:56]   It's a thing.[1:16:57]   He comes when he's needed.[1:16:59]   That's just how it works.[1:17:00]   Whenever you need him in his life.[1:17:01]   Listen to this.[1:17:02]   Here's why Tim moved to Austin.[1:17:03]   He's a character from a movie, and he just kind of set up a call with me and then told[1:17:08]   me to move to Austin.[1:17:09]   And he listed all these really persuasive reasons.[1:17:13]   And I did it like I actually moved my operation, my podcast down to Austin.[1:17:18]   And I said he called me out of nowhere and just kind of gave me this weird pitch that[1:17:23]   L.A. was kind of collapsing and that Miami and Austin were going to be these these new[1:17:27]   cities.[1:17:28]   And I found it interesting enough to say, hey, let me take a year or two and see what[1:17:33]   a cheaper state is, you know?[1:17:36]   And but then, you know, we're on this app called Clubhouse and Dave.[1:17:40]   Dave can't believe that Tim was persuaded by a 22 year old kid to move.[1:17:47]   And they're going to say as much.[1:17:48]   Wait a minute.[1:17:49]   You took a call with a 22 year old and he told you to move.[1:17:52]   And then you did.[1:17:53]   What the fuck?[1:17:55]   Yes.[1:17:56]   And even Tim knows this sounds squirrely doing you know, he does these rooms on clubhouse[1:18:01]   and we kind of bullshit late at night.[1:18:03]   And he's very funny.[1:18:04]   And I'm a comedian and I have a pretty good judge of humor.[1:18:07]   He's very abrasive and he's obnoxious.[1:18:10]   And everything you said about him, Dave, is true, is he's like he's pushy, but he's very[1:18:15]   smart.[1:18:16]   And I think if you're very smart to me, you can be abrasive and obnoxious.[1:18:20]   And I'll listen to you.[1:18:21]   How do you know he's very smart?[1:18:23]   The kid just came out.[1:18:25]   I always say this about people that get like famous in three days and they have like diehard.[1:18:31]   The guy just came out.[1:18:34]   You don't know if you like him yet.[1:18:37]   Give it a year.[1:18:39]   As long as you're not full of shit and he's not full of shit.[1:18:41]   He's very, very intelligent.[1:18:43]   He's just an interesting character.[1:18:45]   I don't know where he came from.[1:18:46]   I can't I know that he has a family, but I can't imagine that.[1:18:50]   I can't imagine he was raised from a baby.[1:18:52]   I can't imagine that a mother and father fed him.[1:18:55]   I imagine he came like the penguin in Batman, like he just emerged, you know, from like[1:19:01]   a river talking about NFTs.[1:19:04]   Like, I feel like that's who he is.[1:19:07]   And he just stalks the night.[1:19:08]   He's like the one guy Batman doesn't want to fuck with.[1:19:11]   Like, that's the one guy.[1:19:12]   It's the one fight.[1:19:13]   I'm going to mention anything else here that I think that's it.[1:19:17]   OK, let's go to the next code here.[1:19:20]   You can go to 11730.[1:19:22]   They talk a little bit more about how Tim begged to be on this podcast.[1:19:26]   I listen to this very pathetic.[1:19:30]   Very pathetic, indeed.[1:19:31]   You know, I primarily talk for the hour, but, you know, he talks sometimes and will giggle.[1:19:36]   Got it.[1:19:37]   Oh, that makes sense.[1:19:38]   I mean, that's that's big numbers.[1:19:39]   How long.[1:19:40]   So when did you when do you blow?[1:19:42]   I know you at times we talked about bringing your podcast here.[1:19:45]   You're way past that.[1:19:46]   When did when did all this happen for you?[1:19:48]   Or is this a stupid question?[1:19:50]   No, it's I mean, I think Joe Rogan has been the biggest help to be very.[1:19:53]   Wow.[1:19:54]   Does he not like me?[1:19:56]   I don't think he dislikes you.[1:19:59]   Why do you think that?[1:20:00]   Because it's the number one question that I people ask, like, go on, Joe.[1:20:04]   I'm not going to ask to go on a podcast.[1:20:06]   It's like I'm sure he's at some level aware.[1:20:09]   And if he wanted me on the podcast, he would ask.[1:20:11]   But I get asked all the time like you.[1:20:14]   It's just there's been no communication at the point.[1:20:16]   Sometimes I think I must have done something that he doesn't like small businesses.[1:20:20]   He was like, oh, that's great.[1:20:21]   Like we talked.[1:20:22]   So he likes you.[1:20:23]   I just he's such a busy guy.[1:20:25]   And I know this seems like a cop out, but like a guy is busy on a level, just the physical[1:20:30]   regimen, the amount of time he works out and then the amount of podcasts he does, the amount[1:20:34]   of stuff he reads, the amount of stand up he does.[1:20:36]   He's a dad.[1:20:37]   He's a husband.[1:20:38]   It's like you're really you're really like taking out the violin.[1:20:41]   I'm not that right.[1:20:42]   Yeah.[1:20:43]   That you had to fucking do almost like put a scroll down, read all this shit.[1:20:47]   I was just asking.[1:20:48]   Oh, gotcha, Tim.[1:20:49]   See, Tim's getting eaten alive here like Brian Red Band with his mosquito issue.[1:20:55]   Any more codes from this one?[1:20:58]   I think you can keep going a little bit on this one.[1:21:00]   OK.[1:21:01]   Well, you didn't like me.[1:21:03]   I don't know.[1:21:04]   I think if you want to go on, you should ask them.[1:21:07]   You know, he doesn't.[1:21:08]   You don't ask to go on.[1:21:10]   Well, you did, I guess.[1:21:13]   You don't ask to go on a.[1:21:14]   Well, you did not really work.[1:21:18]   Even Josh Richards is like, dude, who's this lamb?[1:21:23]   Whoa.[1:21:25]   They're all laughing at you, Tim.[1:21:28]   So fucking humiliating to ask.[1:21:29]   No, he reached out to me.[1:21:31]   But then I don't think it's humiliating to ask.[1:21:34]   You did it.[1:21:35]   You asked them.[1:21:36]   You asked your way on here.[1:21:37]   So obviously.[1:21:38]   And this is the greatest.[1:21:39]   This is the highlight of my career.[1:21:40]   That's why I asked to be on, because this is the best artistic experience I've ever[1:21:46]   had.[1:21:47]   And clout chasing hits the railway.[1:21:50]   All right.[1:21:51]   We got anything else from this guy?[1:21:53]   Yes.[1:21:54]   You could go to one nineteen fifty one nineteen fifty.[1:21:58]   What's going to happen here?[1:21:59]   This one is they show a I don't want to watch that whole clip.[1:22:03]   I don't want to do that.[1:22:04]   Let's speed through this, because I got other stuff to show these guys here.[1:22:07]   Venture capitalist part.[1:22:08]   Yes.[1:22:09]   One thirty nine.[1:22:10]   Oh, OK.[1:22:11]   Here.[1:22:12]   This is what I want you to know.[1:22:13]   One thirty nine.[1:22:14]   Oh, oh.[1:22:15]   A closer look into the real Timothy Dillon.[1:22:18]   Timothy MacDillon one thirty nine.[1:22:22]   Yeah.[1:22:23]   All right.[1:22:24]   Watch this.[1:22:25]   One thirty nine.[1:22:26]   He's not doing so well on BFF.[1:22:30]   Feel I was reaching through any of our existing is clubhouse like this clubhouse, have that[1:22:37]   talking clubhouse, that vibe.[1:22:39]   No, right.[1:22:40]   It's not new audiences.[1:22:41]   It's just you're reaching people you could reach anyway, which I guess the thing was[1:22:45]   interesting to me about.[1:22:46]   He's asking why are you on every night at seven p.m.[1:22:50]   Tim Dillon goes on clubhouse and hob knobs.[1:22:54]   With those people, Lax and Eric Weinstein and God knows who else.[1:22:59]   God fucking know.[1:23:00]   I refuse to go on the app.[1:23:02]   I don't care if there was a room with Josh Denny, Melton, all our fools.[1:23:09]   Who's our other fool?[1:23:10]   All of them.[1:23:11]   I don't care if there was room and they were all talking about me and how they've all obeyed[1:23:16]   me and they love.[1:23:17]   I'm not going on that app ever.[1:23:20]   I don't want to see you on the app.[1:23:22]   Delete it from your phone.[1:23:24]   Delete it.[1:23:25]   And I say, no, no, no.[1:23:27]   I don't want to know.[1:23:28]   I don't want to hear.[1:23:30]   And he's on every night and listen to who he's talking to.[1:23:34]   There's a lot of people I might not necessarily meet, like from the venture capitalist world[1:23:38]   or the tech world.[1:23:39]   They know of me and my comedy.[1:23:42]   There's a lot of people on there that I might not necessarily meet in real life, like venture[1:23:47]   capitalists, people in the tech world.[1:23:49]   And Dave's in there and I'm sitting there thinking the same thing.[1:23:52]   Why do you need to know these people?[1:23:56]   And why is this the new trend to think these people are cool?[1:24:01]   Venture capitalists are the cool guys now that we want to talk to as comedians?[1:24:08]   No, I don't think so.[1:24:10]   I probably know of them or their companies, but like I've never had interactions with[1:24:15]   those people.[1:24:16]   And as a you know, as somebody who just is interested in things and people, it's fun[1:24:21]   to meet people.[1:24:22]   And I you know, I'm now I've off app conversations with a lot of people on that app grew and[1:24:27]   nominated me for the app.[1:24:28]   And it's just kind of it's interesting.[1:24:31]   But I think like everything else, it's we're kind of in an economy right now.[1:24:35]   It's like the boredom economy.[1:24:36]   We're like it's like when things when everything's all open and we're all kind of back to doing[1:24:41]   what we're doing.[1:24:42]   Does anyone want to go on clubhouse?[1:24:43]   So there it is.[1:24:44]   Venture capitalists, luxury suites, tech leaders.[1:24:50]   I mean, aren't these our enemies?[1:24:52]   Aren't these these people who are trying to censor us?[1:24:54]   I don't understand.[1:24:56]   Why is cool guy who is a money guy?[1:24:59]   I know this for.[1:25:00]   Oh, he's a money guy.[1:25:01]   I got news.[1:25:02]   There are no venture capitalists on clubhouse.[1:25:05]   And that's what I was thinking.[1:25:07]   It's like, is it real venture capitalists or is it like wishful thinking people like[1:25:12]   Lex Friedman who are pretending they know a lot about stuff that I mean, I'm going to[1:25:18]   take it from Tim.[1:25:19]   I'm going to take it from Tim that these are venture capitalists.[1:25:22]   All right.[1:25:23]   I've got a few new upgrades here in the studio today.[1:25:26]   Let's take out this little box here today.[1:25:29]   Oh, what's this box?[1:25:32]   And let's experience some love.[1:25:36]   Test, test, test, test, test, test.[1:25:41]   Let's lower the lights here, folks here today.[1:25:46]   And let's see how this works.[1:25:51]   Thank you for listening to Red Bar.[1:25:58]   Test.[1:26:00]   Thank you.[1:26:03]   Nice to meet you.[1:26:04]   Where you been?[1:26:05]   I can show you incredible things.[1:26:08]   Magic madness.[1:26:09]   Heaven sin.[1:26:10]   Saw you there.[1:26:11]   And I thought, oh, my God, look at that face.[1:26:14]   You look like my next mistake.[1:26:17]   Loves a game.[1:26:18]   Want to play a new money shooting tie.[1:26:25]   I can read you like a magazine.[1:26:27]   Ain't it funny rumors fly.[1:26:30]   And I know that you heard about.[1:26:32]   So, hey, let's be friends.[1:26:34]   I'm dying to see how this one ends.[1:26:37]   Get your passport and grab my hand.[1:26:42]   It's going to be forever.[1:26:45]   Or it's going to go down in flames.[1:26:47]   You can tell me when it's over.[1:26:50]   If the high was worth the pain.[1:26:52]   Got a long list up.[1:26:53]   Why is this going down now?[1:26:56]   I'm insane.[1:26:57]   All right, cut this shit.[1:26:58]   Cut this shit.[1:26:59]   Cut this song.[1:27:00]   What?[1:27:01]   We've got some technical issues here.[1:27:02]   What the fuck?[1:27:03]   I don't know.[1:27:04]   This went down now.[1:27:05]   The smoke didn't go.[1:27:07]   The smoke didn't go.[1:27:08]   Everything's lower.[1:27:09]   Why is everything lower here?[1:27:11]   Test.[1:27:12]   One, two, three.[1:27:13]   Look at this.[1:27:14]   Oh, now it worked.[1:27:17]   Let's try this again.[1:27:20]   Test.[1:27:21]   Test.[1:27:22]   Test.[1:27:23]   Test.[1:27:24]   Test.[1:27:25]   Test.[1:27:26]   Test.[1:27:27]   We got that now?[1:27:31]   Worth the pain.[1:27:34]   Long list of last lovers.[1:27:36]   They'll tell you I'm insane.[1:27:38]   Because you know I love the players.[1:27:41]   And you love the game.[1:27:43]   Because we're young and we're reckless.[1:27:46]   And we'll take this way too far.[1:27:48]   Got to leave you breathless.[1:27:51]   Or with a nasty scar.[1:27:53]   Got a long list of ex-lovers.[1:27:55]   Turn the smoke and they'll tell you I'm insane.[1:27:58]   But I got all the good lovers.[1:28:02]   And I'll write your name.[1:28:04]   OK, hold on.[1:28:05]   Some technical issues.[1:28:06]   We're going to get this right.[1:28:08]   Cherry lips, crystal skies.[1:28:11]   I can show you incredible things.[1:28:13]   Stolen kisses, pretty lies.[1:28:16]   You're the king, baby.[1:28:17]   I'm your queen.[1:28:18]   I doubt what you want.[1:28:20]   Be that girl for a month.[1:28:23]   Wait, the worst is yet to come.[1:28:27]   Oh, no.[1:28:29]   Screaming, crying, perfect storms.[1:28:31]   I can make all the tables turn.[1:28:34]   Frozen garden filled with thorns.[1:28:36]   Keep you second guessing like, oh my god, who is she?[1:28:41]   I get drunk, a jealousy.[1:28:43]   But you'll come back this time you leave.[1:28:46]   Because darling, I'm a nightmare dressed like a tea tree.[1:28:49]   So we're going to be forever.[1:28:51]   Or it's going to go down in flames.[1:28:54]   You can tell me when it's over.[1:28:56]   If the high was worth the pain.[1:28:58]   Got a long list of ex-lovers.[1:29:01]   They'll tell you Mike's insane.[1:29:03]   Because I know you love the players.[1:29:06]   And you love the game.[1:29:08]   Because we're young and we're reckless.[1:29:11]   And we'll take this way too far.[1:29:13]   And I'll leave you breathless.[1:29:16]   Or with a nasty scar.[1:29:18]   Got a long list of ex-lovers.[1:29:21]   They'll tell you Mike's insane.[1:29:24]   But I got a blank space baby.[1:29:27]   And I'll write your name.[1:29:29]   Boys only want love if it's torture.[1:29:34]   Don't say I didn't say I didn't warn you.[1:29:39]   Boys only want love if it's torture.[1:29:44]   Don't say I didn't say I didn't warn you.[1:29:49]   So it's going to be forever.[1:29:51]   Or it's going to go down in flames.[1:29:53]   Mike could leave you rent or if the high was worth the pain.[1:29:58]   Got a long list of ex-lovers.[1:30:01]   They'll tell you I'm insane.[1:30:03]   Because you know I love the players.[1:30:06]   And you love the game.[1:30:08]   Because we're young and we're reckless.[1:30:11]   And we'll take this way too far.[1:30:13]   And I'll leave you breathless.[1:30:15]   Or with a nasty scar.[1:30:18]   Got a long list of ex-lovers.[1:30:21]   They'll tell you I'm insane.[1:30:24]   But I got a blank space baby.[1:30:27]   And I'll write your name.[1:30:51]   Okay. Not everything working exactly here.[1:30:54]   Couple kinks to work out.[1:30:56]   Hopefully we'll figure this out.[1:30:59]   Okay.[1:31:01]   Performances on the hour here at Red Bar.[1:31:05]   Jules, let's give them something else.[1:31:06]   Let's move on from this.[1:31:08]   Sorry, I was blown away.[1:31:10]   Do you want to do some light news?[1:31:12]   Okay, some people liked that.[1:31:14]   They loved it.[1:31:15]   Oh, that was okay, says somebody.[1:31:17]   Well, hey, we're trying new things out.[1:31:19]   We've got some intimate surprises coming next week.[1:31:22]   I was hoping they were going to be here for this week.[1:31:24]   But again, everything is building on itself.[1:31:29]   From the drinks to the sweaters to the performances.[1:31:33]   Things will be building that is a hint, wink, wink, for next week.[1:31:39]   Hopefully.[1:31:40]   All right, what do we got next year for the people?[1:31:42]   People need to hear this stuff.[1:31:43]   Did you want to do a little light news?[1:31:45]   Yes, do we have some light news?[1:31:47]   Look at that.[1:31:48]   I haven't done light news in what seems to be months here.[1:31:53]   Yeah, I'd love to do some light news.[1:31:56]   Let's do it.[1:31:58]   Light news time.[1:32:00]   It's light news with Red Bar.[1:32:03]   Let's see where this goes.[1:32:08]   You know, you got to excuse me, all these props.[1:32:10]   This is all different props for me.[1:32:12]   It's, you know, new booze, new cops, mics.[1:32:17]   I mean, the amount of money that's being spent.[1:32:20]   Some people like the Iron Patriot are making clips.[1:32:22]   Mike spent $700 on studio upgrade.[1:32:26]   $700 is nothing.[1:32:29]   This is, by the way, the same microphone that you'll see Justin Bieber use in his.[1:32:34]   Tiny desk concert.[1:32:36]   You've seen this.[1:32:37]   This is the mic.[1:32:38]   Oh, you're very expensive.[1:32:42]   So we'll see what happens here so far.[1:32:45]   I mean, you know, it's early in the show, but so far I'm very unhappy with the production.[1:32:50]   Okay.[1:32:51]   What have we got?[1:32:52]   Light news.[1:32:53]   Hit me with it.[1:32:54]   Here we go.[1:32:55]   Instagram's got some new rules for DMing teens.[1:32:59]   This doesn't sound good for Chrissy.[1:33:02]   You know, I'm not.[1:33:03]   I hate cancel culture.[1:33:05]   But why is Chris still on Instagram?[1:33:08]   I mean, this is where how many girls had to come out?[1:33:11]   I mean, 15 to 20 girls came out against Chris.[1:33:14]   Netflix dropped him.[1:33:16]   Instagram.[1:33:17]   I think it's safe to say he should probably be at the very least banned from the DM feature.[1:33:24]   You know, I keep bringing this up and people.[1:33:27]   I've been bringing this up since he got the tattoo.[1:33:30]   Chris has the DM.[1:33:33]   Logo.[1:33:34]   Logo.[1:33:35]   Like the paper airplane DM tattoo on his chest.[1:33:38]   Big.[1:33:39]   Like a seven inch DM logo.[1:33:41]   The little airplane logo.[1:33:43]   Paper plane.[1:33:44]   On his chest.[1:33:45]   That's how obsessed he is with this DM shit.[1:33:47]   We showed that video last week where he was with his aunt, right?[1:33:52]   He's sitting there.[1:33:53]   He's still on the fucking phone.[1:33:56]   You would think he'd be so sickened by the sight of him on one of these.[1:34:02]   I mean, if I was his fiance and I knew that I was cheated on hundreds of times every time[1:34:07]   I saw him on that phone.[1:34:08]   First of all, he should delete his own Instagram account.[1:34:12]   Talk about, oh, you got, you put out an apology video.[1:34:15]   You're a sex offender.[1:34:17]   You've got all these issues.[1:34:19]   Delete Instagram.[1:34:20]   Delete your messaging apps.[1:34:22]   And then we see that video of him.[1:34:24]   He's been posting video after video with him and his hobo family, that hobo baby.[1:34:30]   And he's at this family dinner and he's laying with his butt out on the lawn chairs while his whole family does the work.[1:34:37]   He's still like the immature kid at the family party.[1:34:40]   You know, this guy's 41 years old.[1:34:43]   You should be in there helping.[1:34:45]   You should be in there bringing in edible arrangements or cooking the food or something.[1:34:50]   He's laying there like a teen at his family party on the phone.[1:34:56]   What are you doing on the phone as a married man with hobo baby who apparently is, you know, a changed person?[1:35:04]   You've got the DM tattoo.[1:35:06]   That should be burned off like the Sons of Anarchy back tattoo when you get out of the gang.[1:35:11]   You want to come on and apologize, say you were such, then get the tattoo burned off.[1:35:16]   Instagram should not be allowing him to DM.[1:35:19]   And they finally made a rule.[1:35:20]   The Chris D'Elia rule.[1:35:23]   That's what they're calling this.[1:35:24]   And read that headline again there.[1:35:26]   It is just Instagram's new rules.[1:35:29]   Just read the headline like a news person.[1:35:31]   It is. Well, it's Instagram.[1:35:32]   I mean, imagine if Robin Quivers delivered a fucking line like that.[1:35:35]   I'm sorry, I didn't have it open yet.[1:35:37]   Instagram will no longer let adults message teens who don't follow them.[1:35:41]   Wow.[1:35:42]   Team users will also be shown safety prompts when messaging suspicious adults.[1:35:48]   Look at that.[1:35:49]   I don't think you should be able to message an eight.[1:35:52]   It should really be more restrictive there.[1:35:55]   Chris D'Elia should not be able to message or even go onto the page of an underage person.[1:36:01]   So thank you, Instagram, for doing this.[1:36:03]   But I don't understand why Chris is allowed on Instagram.[1:36:07]   This is where all of the alleged abuse happened.[1:36:12]   You know, shouldn't I've heard people say you would think with all of the fear that these social media companies have, you know,[1:36:20]   oh, please don't harass a trans person.[1:36:22]   Oh, my God.[1:36:23]   You know, and it ultimately comes down to when I watched that first Tim Pool or where you had Jack Dorsey in The Indian Lawyer on Joe Rogan, you know, it became very clear to me.[1:36:35]   Everyone thinks there's some big conspiracy.[1:36:37]   This is what I think is going on.[1:36:39]   I mean, I really think this is what's going on.[1:36:41]   The social media platforms ban people for harassing others because they don't want their main audience to not use the app.[1:36:51]   So when they're seeing a bunch of guys harass the blue checkmark writers or the trans people or the gay people, Twitter knows that's their main audience.[1:37:01]   Twitter knows all those gay weirdo writers for The New York Times and all those, you know, BuzzFeed and all that.[1:37:10]   This is their hangout.[1:37:11]   This is their clubhouse.[1:37:13]   So when you come on Twitter and you start bullying these people, Twitter is going to get rid of you before they get rid of them.[1:37:20]   It's they're just looking at, well, what group uses Twitter the most?[1:37:24]   OK, the blue checkmarks and the trans and the fags and the gays.[1:37:28]   Well, we don't want to lose them.[1:37:31]   It's easier to just ban Baked Alaska than to lose.[1:37:37]   I think that's really all that's going on.[1:37:39]   There's no conspiracy.[1:37:40]   It doesn't even have to do with politics.[1:37:41]   I don't think it just has to do with who's the biggest audience on Twitter, who's the one we're making money off the most and who's getting in the way of that.[1:37:50]   Just like how parler the new social media they made would rather be taken offline than start banning people because their main audience is the people who hate censorship.[1:38:01]   Yeah.[1:38:02]   And if you're running a business, it only comes down to the bottom line.[1:38:07]   Especially when it's a business like Twitter and they're going to talk circles around it.[1:38:12]   I don't know why Jack can't just come on and just say that people would respect that, I think.[1:38:17]   What if Jack came on Rogan and you go, why are you banning conservatives?[1:38:20]   Well, we're not banning conservatives, but they're bullying our biggest audience and we don't want to lose our biggest audience.[1:38:27]   So that's why we ban the guys and we weigh it out and we go, is losing Baked Alaska going to hurt our bottom line or is losing the writers gaze from the New York Times going to hurt?[1:38:39]   We want the article guys here from the newspapers.[1:38:43]   We want those guys.[1:38:44]   They're bigger.[1:38:45]   They're making our shit crank.[1:38:49]   I think that's all it is.[1:38:51]   Now, what was my point?[1:38:53]   Oh, yeah.[1:38:54]   You would think with that mindset, which I believe is real, you would think they would ban the people who are doing the sex crime stuff.[1:39:04]   You know, in the days where you don't want to lose your audience here.[1:39:09]   Why wouldn't they ban Chris D'Elia off Instagram or limit his ability to send DMs after all these allegations?[1:39:18]   I mean, if Netflix is taking off episodes of Workaholics, if he's being replaced in movies, mainstream movies and being replaced by titless lesbians with cancer, surely Instagram can ban him.[1:39:33]   This is the place of his deviation.[1:39:36]   This is where he does his crimes.[1:39:37]   This is his lair.[1:39:38]   Is he still out on Snapchat?[1:39:40]   So, yeah, again, wouldn't you think at least a time out until the court if Instagram said we're giving Chris D'Elia a temporary Instagram ban until the court tells us what happened with this lawsuit here?[1:39:56]   I think that's very fair.[1:39:58]   So very suspicious, very weird that they're not doing anything.[1:40:02]   I mean, they've banned Julia Rose for showing part of her nipple.[1:40:06]   They've banned her from the platform.[1:40:08]   They banned her for holding up her butt.[1:40:10]   So why is Chris allowed to in Instagram?[1:40:12]   You would think their bottom line is protecting teen girls.[1:40:16]   You would think that should be their biggest worry.[1:40:20]   Keep the teen girls on the platform.[1:40:22]   Teen girls must be, you know, what makes Instagram run, right?[1:40:27]   They're the ones buying the ads.[1:40:29]   They're the ones subscribing to everybody.[1:40:32]   So I just don't understand why he's still allowed on there.[1:40:36]   You know, that's not a pro-lib cancel culture, you know, stance.[1:40:43]   I think a lot of people would agree with me that he should be gone from Instagram.[1:40:48]   Chrissy Marr got banned from Instagram.[1:40:50]   No, today?[1:40:51]   I forgot to tell you.[1:40:52]   Oh my God, for what?[1:40:54]   I don't know.[1:40:56]   Chrissy Marr.[1:40:57]   I mean, she's really working her way up there on my fool's ladder of number one enemies here.[1:41:02]   She got banned from Instagram today.[1:41:04]   Gums, Chrissy Marr, the insurrectionist.[1:41:06]   She says, WTF.[1:41:09]   My Instagram was deleted literally out of nowhere.[1:41:12]   Oh, for no reason.[1:41:14]   No warnings of any kind.[1:41:16]   No information about what they took issue with.[1:41:18]   Has this ever happened to you?[1:41:22]   That's fucking amazing.[1:41:23]   Woo![1:41:27]   That looked so cool.[1:41:29]   Okay, we'll use one of these.[1:41:30]   I'm sorry.[1:41:31]   We've got to celebrate.[1:41:32]   Chrissy Marr banned from Instagram.[1:41:37]   What was all that?[1:41:38]   Chula knocked over the light.[1:41:39]   What?[1:41:40]   Oh, Jesus Christ.[1:41:41]   That's like a big one.[1:41:43]   There's not a...[1:41:44]   We can't do any special effects without issue here.[1:41:46]   You've got to fix all the barn doors now.[1:41:48]   We're all cockeyed.[1:41:50]   Yeah, it's got to angle up.[1:41:52]   It's got to angle up.[1:41:53]   The whole light.[1:41:54]   Yep, you've got to tighten it now.[1:41:56]   I can't believe the dog kicked over a whole light here.[1:41:59]   You know, is this happening on the Today Show?[1:42:02]   Is this happening on CBS?[1:42:04]   Yeah, that's fine.[1:42:07]   How fucking amazing.[1:42:08]   So, okay, let's dig into this story.[1:42:10]   This is breaking news.[1:42:11]   Chrissy Marr banned from Instagram.[1:42:13]   Jules just took a three-second break to pet the dog.[1:42:16]   What's going on with Chrissy Marr?[1:42:17]   She scared him with the things.[1:42:18]   I was telling her it was okay.[1:42:20]   Okay, go.[1:42:21]   And I sent you her tweet.[1:42:22]   All right.[1:42:23]   Am I blocked from her?[1:42:24]   No, no, no.[1:42:25]   Do I have a Twitter?[1:42:26]   I hope I'm not logged into my bogus Twitter so people can see.[1:42:29]   Here we go.[1:42:30]   Chrissy Marr banned from Instagram.[1:42:31]   Let's see what happened here.[1:42:33]   How did they like the explosion of glitter?[1:42:35]   They loved it.[1:42:36]   They loved it.[1:42:37]   You've got to watch the audio version of the show is just no more.[1:42:41]   I mean, it's really worthless.[1:42:43]   What the fuck?[1:42:44]   My Instagram was deleted literally out of nowhere.[1:42:47]   No warnings of any kind.[1:42:49]   No information about why they took issue.[1:42:52]   Has this ever happened to you?[1:42:55]   I don't know.[1:42:56]   Why don't you ask Owen Benjamin?[1:42:58]   Thanks for providing your info.[1:42:59]   We'll review your info.[1:43:00]   This is amazing.[1:43:01]   Is there any more of this story?[1:43:03]   Does anyone have anything else?[1:43:05]   Is there anything she posted?[1:43:07]   Yeah.[1:43:08]   And of course, it's always these people say for doing nothing.[1:43:11]   You know, when I get banned from platforms, I go, it's because I broke all their rules.[1:43:17]   I'm sorry.[1:43:18]   Why can't you just admit what you're doing?[1:43:21]   At least you don't have to say it's wrong.[1:43:23]   You can admit that what you're doing breaks their terms.[1:43:26]   You know, I watch Brian Callen pull up the Brian Callen clip where he's complaining about Vimeo.[1:43:31]   Yes, that's great.[1:43:32]   You know, if you go to Vimeo and you click their terms of service, it's not a whole, you know, 1899 document from Ben Franklin and all these people.[1:43:45]   You don't have to have a magnifying glass to find the part that says, here are our main rules.[1:43:51]   There are no bullying, no harassing, no conspiracy.[1:43:54]   I mean, it's so strict.[1:43:57]   So when like I was on Vimeo, the day I joined Vimeo, I was going, well, let's see how long this will last before we get kicked off.[1:44:06]   And if Vimeo would have kicked us off, which they didn't because we were paying some enormous dollars,[1:44:12]   but if Vimeo would have kicked us off, I wouldn't have gone, oh, they're trying to silence me.[1:44:16]   Oh, look at it.[1:44:17]   No, no, no.[1:44:18]   I joined Vimeo knowing very well what their clear as day rules were.[1:44:24]   I broke all of them.[1:44:27]   And this is what happens.[1:44:28]   Why the surprise?[1:44:30]   Why are these free speeches who accuse Tom Hanks of eating babies joining Vimeo?[1:44:38]   Why are they on Instagram?[1:44:40]   Why are they hobnobbing with the enemy?[1:44:44]   I would even understand if they go, I want to use Instagram because I like the reach.[1:44:48]   If I get kicked off, well, I would know why, because they're terrible people and I'm breaking all their rules.[1:44:55]   They won't admit.[1:44:57]   You know, it's like how Anthony Kumiya, you'll be like, hey, man, are you like, you don't like black people, do you?[1:45:03]   I would never say that.[1:45:04]   I love black people.[1:45:06]   OK, so you're going to make us do this frustrating song and dance with you?[1:45:12]   Just admit what you are.[1:45:13]   If I got banned from YouTube right now, I would go, no, I can't believe they didn't ban me the first time.[1:45:19]   I mean, come on.[1:45:22]   I don't know why these people can't be honest about it.[1:45:25]   You know, it would be like if I went to a daycare center, got completely naked and started shooting a pellet gun at everybody and then wondered why they called the cops.[1:45:35]   Obviously, wrong place for that.[1:45:40]   Let's play this.[1:45:41]   Let's play this.[1:45:42]   Callen clips.[1:45:43]   Look at Callen.[1:45:44]   Callen's being censored again.[1:45:45]   Thanks to my body.[1:45:46]   Why would you join Vimeo?[1:45:47]   You said the fighter and the kid read it for this one, as always.[1:45:49]   I mean, literally.[1:45:50]   And for those people who don't know, when you go to Vimeo, because I remember like years ago when we first got kicked off like YouTube, I go, oh, we'll join Vimeo.[1:45:58]   They go, dude, they're way worse.[1:46:00]   Vimeo is like a co-op.[1:46:02]   Vimeo is like the REI of online.[1:46:05]   Like, people don't understand this.[1:46:06]   Go read Vimeo's terms of service.[1:46:08]   They're like, they'll ban you for making like another Vimeo customer feel funny.[1:46:15]   Like, they'll ban you for anything.[1:46:19]   I mean, they're like the biggest goody two shoes out there.[1:46:24]   I can't believe they never banned us.[1:46:26]   I could not believe it.[1:46:29]   The length.[1:46:30]   We finally left Vimeo.[1:46:32]   For those of you who don't know, they wanted 90 something, $98,000 a year to continue our hosting with them.[1:46:39]   That is no joke.[1:46:42]   And I dicked around with them for about a year trying to, I mean, when they came to me with this, we had all our shows hosted with them.[1:46:53]   We were streaming live with them.[1:46:55]   We had no other options at the time.[1:46:57]   And here's the thing.[1:46:59]   We eventually had to do this, and it was a nightmare.[1:47:02]   We had, you know, 200 shows hosted with Vimeo.[1:47:05]   Huge eight-hour shows, stuff like that.[1:47:08]   If Vimeo kicks us off, if we can't use Vimeo, we got to re-upload all those shows somewhere.[1:47:14]   The time alone to re-upload 203 to eight-hour long shows, I mean, that's like months and months of work just uploading, not to mention like reposting it and all that stuff.[1:47:27]   Thanks to Cameron for all that.[1:47:28]   Well, thanks to Cameron, yeah, we figured something out that was a little cheaper, but Vimeo wanted like $98,000.[1:47:35]   They came to us.[1:47:36]   They have an unlimited plan on their website, so you can like join Vimeo Pro Unlimited for $999 a month, and that was the plan we were on.[1:47:48]   $999 a year, and it says unlimited hosting, unlimited, but they contacted us.[1:47:57]   Listen to this, and they go, well, we say unlimited, but we mean, you know, you're in the top 1% of people using excessive bandwidth.[1:48:07]   And I said, well, why does that matter?[1:48:09]   I said, you promised unlimited bandwidth.[1:48:13]   They go, well, when we say that, you know, we're considering that, and people do this everywhere.[1:48:19]   You see hosting sites, $999 unlimited, and you go, oh, why doesn't Mike just use that?[1:48:25]   Well, it's a lie.[1:48:26]   They mean it's unlimited for people who are just posting like one dog video a month or a guy who's posting a music video here and there.[1:48:34]   They don't mean it's unlimited for a guy who wants to do eight hours a week and have...[1:48:39]   So what Vimeo is doing is they're buying their bandwidth from another provider.[1:48:44]   It's not even theirs.[1:48:46]   So when we were on Vimeo, the reason they contacted us and tried to get all this money out of us is because they had to foot our bill.[1:48:54]   So Vimeo doesn't have their own servers.[1:48:56]   They're paying another guy, and then they're upcharging you.[1:49:00]   And they figured, well, get a bunch of people to sign up for $999 a year, and that'll just cover the band.[1:49:06]   But nobody's signing up for Vimeo Pro because you could just use YouTube.[1:49:10]   Seems like Vimeo is kind of dead now.[1:49:12]   Well, the only people that would need Vimeo are people who are trying to go behind a paywall, which are very few,[1:49:17]   or people who are trying to do shows like this that get banned from YouTube for playing unlicensed music or saying the George Floyd word.[1:49:26]   So they didn't actually get enough signups to cover our bandwidth bill, which they were probably paying $60,000 for.[1:49:35]   So $60,000 comes out of Vimeo's pocket, so the Vimeo guys start hounding me.[1:49:41]   I literally I was so proud of myself.[1:49:44]   I extended our I could have easily said I can't afford that, but I just kept telling them, yeah, we'll look into it.[1:49:52]   Let me call you next week and we'll get this going.[1:49:55]   And I did that for a year.[1:49:57]   They would email me every three days.[1:49:59]   Mike, we need to have a phone conference.[1:50:01]   I would go, ah, yeah, I'm just you know, my I got Corona.[1:50:06]   I'll be back.[1:50:08]   And I extended this for like another year.[1:50:10]   Oh, and every time they would email us, it would be really nice.[1:50:13]   And every day they would email, hey, we're going to shut, you know, we're going to.[1:50:18]   And then we'd be like, wait, wait, wait, we're about the way.[1:50:20]   And I'd be like, we're about the money.[1:50:22]   And they were so excited.[1:50:24]   I like I sold my car.[1:50:25]   I just sold my car.[1:50:27]   So we'll be able to pay.[1:50:29]   And they're like, oh, because they were going to make 30 K and they were going to get the A plus from their boss who gave them the list of shows to shake down.[1:50:39]   And and then when it really became time where they were going to shut us down, we, of course, founded our own hosting.[1:50:46]   We built our own stuff and then we transferred everything over.[1:50:49]   But obviously, we didn't even want to do that.[1:50:51]   We wanted to just stay with Vimeo for the nine ninety nine a year and call it that.[1:50:55]   But it's a miracle that it worked out so well.[1:50:57]   It's a miracle.[1:50:58]   I thought it was going to be the end of red bar.[1:51:00]   You know what they never mentioned to me?[1:51:03]   Anything about the content.[1:51:04]   I mean, you turn on red bar.[1:51:06]   You don't have to listen for more than five minutes to know it's breaking every rule in Internet history.[1:51:12]   And they never said, boo.[1:51:15]   So it's interesting.[1:51:18]   When you're paying the big bucks, they'll keep you there when they think you're getting the money.[1:51:22]   They'll keep you there.[1:51:23]   But when you're not like Mr. Callen.[1:51:26]   But we know very well.[1:51:27]   I mean, we wouldn't come on and bitch about that if we got kicked off Vimeo, we go.[1:51:33]   I mean, it would suck, but it would be understandable.[1:51:35]   It would be completely understandable.[1:51:37]   Their rules are as clear as day.[1:51:38]   What's wrong with somebody having rules that they write out and tell you it'd be one thing if they didn't have those rules and then they banned you and you didn't know why.[1:51:48]   But it's in big blue Vimeo letters.[1:51:53]   And their rules are stricter than YouTube's, they're stricter than Twitter's.[1:51:57]   So for Brian Callen and Sam Tripoli to use Vimeo shows how stupid they are.[1:52:03]   Unless they're going to do it like me.[1:52:05]   Let's just see how long we could do it.[1:52:07]   And then when we get kicked off, we'll just go somewhere else.[1:52:09]   But these guys wait till you hear what they say.[1:52:12]   I hope you like my little story there.[1:52:15]   Now, can anyone verify that any of it's true?[1:52:18]   I can.[1:52:22]   You know, a lot of people think I just lie about all this stuff.[1:52:26]   So let's see what these two have to say about Vimeo.[1:52:29]   Mike Thompson is introducing H R 8.[1:52:35]   Hey, hey, hey, Anthony, can you beep out an election?[1:52:41]   We'll get taken off Vimeo for that.[1:52:43]   Yeah, because look at this.[1:52:45]   Sam's about to say something.[1:52:47]   And Brian asks his producer, hey, hey, hey, stop the show.[1:52:52]   Can you bleep that out or will be banned from Vimeo?[1:52:56]   Wow.[1:52:57]   So in order to stay on Vimeo, I mean, these guys have enough money, right?[1:53:00]   Brian Callan, supposedly millionaire,[1:53:03]   or he should have enough money to have his own hosting like me,[1:53:07]   where you could go nigga, nigga to George Floyd.[1:53:11]   I'll smash him like a bug.[1:53:12]   You should be able to say whatever you want.[1:53:16]   Brian Callan wants to stay with Vimeo.[1:53:20]   He doesn't want to pay his own money.[1:53:21]   He doesn't want to pay for his private hosting.[1:53:23]   So he's censoring himself to stay with Vimeo.[1:53:29]   He could build his own hosting.[1:53:30]   He'd do his show uncensored.[1:53:32]   They choose not to.[1:53:34]   And then they play the victim.[1:53:37]   Shouldn't that bother you?[1:53:39]   Listen to Free Speech Brian censoring himself.[1:53:44]   Mike Thompson is introducing H R 8.[1:53:51]   Hey, Anthony, can you beep out an election?[1:53:56]   We'll get taken off Vimeo for that.[1:53:58]   Yeah.[1:53:59]   Because we are living in a time of censorship.[1:54:01]   Yeah.[1:54:02]   So we have to be careful of that.[1:54:03]   Just maybe just beat that.[1:54:04]   No, you can beep it.[1:54:05]   Okay.[1:54:06]   Just beat me.[1:54:07]   Watch this.[1:54:08]   Watch this.[1:54:09]   Watch this.[1:54:10]   And just put this in there.[1:54:11]   Okay.[1:54:12]   Sam just said something that we have to, we have to do.[1:54:13]   We have to bleep guys about the election because.[1:54:16]   And many things it's like, Oh yeah, you see this?[1:54:19]   How we have that?[1:54:20]   No, no, no.[1:54:21]   I was on Vimeo for two years, three years.[1:54:24]   I said it all.[1:54:26]   I said it all.[1:54:27]   Hold on.[1:54:28]   I got to swallow these terrible cherries.[1:54:29]   I'm sorry.[1:54:30]   These are the boozy cherries, Jules.[1:54:32]   Oh really?[1:54:33]   Are they good?[1:54:34]   No, they're awful.[1:54:35]   These are tipsy cherries.[1:54:36]   I don't know what they're supposed to be.[1:54:38]   We thought they had.[1:54:39]   They're terrible.[1:54:40]   They're dry.[1:54:41]   Ew.[1:54:42]   Not good.[1:54:43]   Right down.[1:54:44]   I got to buy grenadine for next week.[1:54:49]   Oh God, no, it wasn't the cherry.[1:54:52]   Here's what it was.[1:54:53]   I mean, I'm eating fucking foil from the party popper we did.[1:54:58]   No wonder.[1:54:59]   All right.[1:55:00]   Look at this.[1:55:01]   Now again, I was on Vimeo for three years.[1:55:03]   I said it all.[1:55:04]   I did it all.[1:55:05]   I said more stuff than you've ever heard on the internet.[1:55:11]   Really?[1:55:12]   You got to go to 4chan or the dark web to hear what I'm saying.[1:55:16]   These guys are self-censoring and then they're going to pretend, oh, you see, see how the[1:55:22]   companies are.[1:55:23]   It's Vimeo.[1:55:24]   I just don't understand.[1:55:26]   You know, do you, do you, do you, should schools be shut down because they censor the kids?[1:55:34]   I mean, this is a place they don't want this type of stuff.[1:55:38]   What's wrong with that?[1:55:39]   Go somewhere where you can do that type of stuff.[1:55:42]   I always explain it like this.[1:55:44]   If I walk into the grocery store, which is, I don't, I mean, nobody thinks of the grocery[1:55:50]   store as a place of censorship, right?[1:55:52]   But if I walk into the grocery store and start doing red bar in the aisles, they're going[1:55:55]   to ask me to leave.[1:55:56]   It's inappropriate.[1:55:58]   Know your venue.[1:56:00]   So you can't start claiming, oh, they're censoring me.[1:56:04]   You're just being inappropriate on a place where they don't want you to act like this.[1:56:09]   You've read the rules, you've agreed to the rules, and now you're blaming them.[1:56:13]   Watch this and just put this in there.[1:56:15]   Okay.[1:56:16]   Sam just said something that we have to, we have to bleep guys about the election because[1:56:21]   Vimeo will take us down if we don't, but that's the world we're living in.[1:56:24]   I have to actually censor.[1:56:26]   We have to censor ourselves in a podcast right now.[1:56:30]   So maybe Sam starting, maybe Sam, maybe Brian needs to start coming over a little more to[1:56:35]   Sam's side because I just had to tell Sam that we had to bleep what Sam said.[1:56:40]   I'm so sorry.[1:56:41]   I just shot a piece of confetti was in the drink that I shot and then it got stuck right[1:56:46]   here.[1:56:47]   No, is it still in there?[1:56:48]   No.[1:56:49]   Luckily it went and it came up this confetti.[1:56:52]   I mean, really listen to these aisles because we would be deplatformed if not keep going[1:56:59]   Sam.[1:57:00]   So you would be deplatformed from a platform that said, Hey, you guys aren't going to do[1:57:04]   anything that breaks our rules, right?[1:57:06]   Oh no, we're not.[1:57:08]   I just don't understand.[1:57:09]   It would be like if you went to a hotel and they said no smoking in the room and you go,[1:57:14]   Oh, of course not.[1:57:15]   And then you smoked and then couldn't believe that they got mad.[1:57:19]   It was like if you went to your house with one of your friends, that's a girl, and then[1:57:24]   you invited her over and she was like, no, please stop raping me.[1:57:28]   And then you just did it anyway.[1:57:29]   Wow.[1:57:30]   You hear that?[1:57:31]   Callen, what did you do?[1:57:32]   And by the way, I want to remind everybody, Callen is not being censored by anybody.[1:57:37]   The only people who have parted ways with him are the people that believe that he raped[1:57:43]   somebody.[1:57:44]   Really?[1:57:45]   I don't want to get a twist.[1:57:46]   I mean, don't let him confuse you.[1:57:49]   The reason he's in this place is because he's been accused of rape.[1:57:53]   That's a big difference than canceled for jokes.[1:57:56]   Now, two weeks ago, didn't we cover Callen saying that they did get banned from Vimeo?[1:58:01]   I know.[1:58:02]   I'm so confused.[1:58:04]   YouTube, if you get banned, it's pretty much impossible to reach them in such a huge company.[1:58:09]   You can't really do anything but wait.[1:58:11]   But Vimeo-[1:58:12]   Why is everyone laughing?[1:58:13]   Everyone's going, ha, ha, ha, whoa, confetti.[1:58:14]   It was the confetti they swallowed.[1:58:15]   What happened with the confetti?[1:58:16]   You swallowed it.[1:58:17]   Remember?[1:58:18]   That was hours ago.[1:58:19]   They were laughing at that, I think.[1:58:22]   Oh, we're on that much of a delay?[1:58:23]   It was only like 40 seconds ago.[1:58:25]   Oh, okay.[1:58:26]   Go on.[1:58:27]   But do you think that they contacted Vimeo and were like, please don't take us off.[1:58:31]   We'll stop saying the censor.[1:58:32]   We'll stop saying the election is stolen.[1:58:33]   I think so.[1:58:34]   I think Vimeo banned them.[1:58:37]   Are they back on Vimeo?[1:58:38]   I mean, I can't follow it, to be honest.[1:58:40]   I only see these clips.[1:58:41]   I can't imagine actually watching that.[1:58:43]   I think if they are back on Vimeo, that means they went to them and they said, we will self-censor[1:58:48]   ourselves to remain on your cheap platform.[1:58:52]   They don't want to get their own hosting.[1:58:54]   They could easily do what I'm doing and say whatever they want.[1:58:59]   But they choose not to, and then they pretend that they're victims.[1:59:04]   It's disgusting.[1:59:05]   And if I wasn't doing the show, how I'm doing it now, I wouldn't be able to say this, but[1:59:10]   I am.[1:59:11]   And I have been.[1:59:12]   By the way, everyone is saying, oh, we were laughing at Jules.[1:59:14]   We were laughing at Jules.[1:59:15]   Amazing joke.[1:59:16]   Ha ha ha.[1:59:17]   Jules is so funny.[1:59:18]   Laughing at Jules is-[1:59:19]   I think whenever somebody says Jules is funny, I 100% assume and agree that they're mocking[1:59:25]   you.[1:59:26]   I just like to see it as-[1:59:28]   For the record, I'm against rape.[1:59:30]   People are saying, and you should be.[1:59:32]   I think we're going to get to a point where people who hate the PC culture are going to[1:59:36]   be pro-rape to stick it to the PC guys.[1:59:39]   Feels like they already are.[1:59:40]   They're pro-rape to stick.[1:59:41]   I mean, Steven Crowder and Anthony Cumi and Gavin, they invite rapists to their shows[1:59:48]   to stick it to the libs.[1:59:52]   It's really crazy.[1:59:54]   I mean, I always envisioned, even since the 90s, they'd put a rapist on Dawson's Creek.[2:00:00]   We hated him.[2:00:01]   We all are supposed to hate rapists.[2:00:04]   It has nothing to do with caring about women.[2:00:08]   I want those-[2:00:09]   Here's, and I'll tell you something funny.[2:00:11]   I want those women raped.[2:00:13]   Not a day goes by where I don't wish a rape on someone on my TV.[2:00:17]   Trust me.[2:00:18]   And Jules always goes, oh, come on.[2:00:20]   You know how many Chinese women?[2:00:21]   I go, I wish you were fucking brutal.[2:00:23]   Hey.[2:00:24]   Oh yeah.[2:00:25]   I mean, regular women.[2:00:27]   Mike is wearing Jules' sweater, someone says.[2:00:33]   Oh my God.[2:00:36]   He knows guys.[2:00:38]   But it's not about that.[2:00:40]   It's about if somebody rapes somebody, you're like so out of control.[2:00:46]   You're so not in control.[2:00:50]   You know, and I think that's what we should focus on.[2:00:52]   It's embarrassing to need sex so bad that you brutalize.[2:00:58]   It's embarrassing to even want sex.[2:01:02]   You know, with all this that's going on, and I see all these defenders of Chris D'Elia.[2:01:06]   Oh, who cares?[2:01:07]   Like, you wouldn't do that.[2:01:08]   Oh, you know.[2:01:09]   What are you talking about?[2:01:10]   Do you have any control?[2:01:11]   It's about control and the lack of control.[2:01:14]   When Chris D'Elia, listen, he sees a 17-year-old girl.[2:01:18]   She's probably fine as fuck.[2:01:21]   Probably the best titties, the best skin.[2:01:25]   What the rest of us do is we see that, we acknowledge that we want, but we have what's called control.[2:01:35]   So we don't even look at the girl.[2:01:37]   You know, I had a GoPuff driver show up to her house this morning to deliver some JUUL pods for JUULs.[2:01:46]   She's using a JUUL.[2:01:48]   She needs $40 worth of pods every day.[2:01:50]   It's your fault.[2:01:51]   And I don't use a JUUL.[2:01:53]   I hate JUULs.[2:01:54]   Did I buy her the 40?[2:01:56]   This girl came to her door.[2:01:58]   She was fine.[2:02:00]   JUULs, I didn't tell you about this.[2:02:02]   Girl came to the door.[2:02:05]   She was fine as fuck.[2:02:07]   You know what I did?[2:02:09]   I opened the door.[2:02:11]   I looked the other way.[2:02:15]   I looked the other way.[2:02:16]   I go, you know what?[2:02:17]   This girl is out doing deliveries all day.[2:02:21]   I guarantee every guy stares at her and then does the pretending not to stare.[2:02:27]   So I did this.[2:02:29]   Yeah, here's my ID.[2:02:31]   Scan it.[2:02:33]   Scan my ID.[2:02:35]   And she's just like, oh, I have corona.[2:02:38]   That's why I'm not looking at you.[2:02:40]   Don't worry.[2:02:42]   Look at the back of me.[2:02:43]   I look like that girl who plays Chris D'Elia in the zombie movie.[2:02:47]   I look like a fucking woman.[2:02:51]   But I'll go out of my way because I go, listen, this girl.[2:02:55]   And here's the thing you got to remember.[2:02:57]   I came up with this a few times ago.[2:02:59]   But listen to this.[2:03:00]   When you're a girl that is fuckable, I didn't say you were hot.[2:03:04]   When you're a girl that's fuckable, it's not just people your own age that want to fuck you.[2:03:11]   Think about this.[2:03:12]   Are you a guy?[2:03:13]   You ever seen a hot chick at a grocery store?[2:03:16]   And you're like, well, I guess her path is my path today.[2:03:22]   I'll go where she goes.[2:03:25]   That sends a chill down my spine.[2:03:27]   Well, listen to this.[2:03:28]   It's not just guys within your dating range that are staring you down when you're a fuckable.[2:03:35]   I didn't say hot.[2:03:36]   I said fuckable.[2:03:38]   It's every guy from 11 to 99 years old is literally almost stalking girls like a jungle animal all day every day.[2:03:52]   So when I see a girl that I would fuck,[2:03:57]   I go like this.[2:04:00]   And she goes, what are you doing?[2:04:01]   I go, don't worry.[2:04:02]   It's just because I have corona.[2:04:04]   I'm gay, too.[2:04:06]   You're not going to work because I want to give them some relief from their day of being stared down and undressed.[2:04:13]   And I'm telling you, if it was happening to you and guys cannot relate.[2:04:19]   And I'll tell you why you can't relate, because even if you're the hottest guy in the world, you're not.[2:04:24]   There's not like 80 year old women, homeless women who are trying to like hit on you all day.[2:04:31]   If you're a hot chick, you've got like that, like 55 year old golf dads wearing like polos with their wife at the store eyeing you.[2:04:41]   It feels probably pretty crazy.[2:04:44]   And I know not every guy is a rapist, but there's literally no way to know which guy could be a rapist.[2:04:50]   It could be any.[2:04:51]   It's not even about rape.[2:04:52]   It's like if I was being undressed.[2:04:54]   And by the way, if I see a hot chick, I'm envisioning I'm looking right at her ass, her tits.[2:05:00]   I'm thinking about her everything.[2:05:03]   There are no other thoughts.[2:05:06]   And I tell Jules every time I go, you do understand, right, that the minute somebody sees you, they're scanning you.[2:05:15]   A man is scanning.[2:05:17]   We're constantly scanning.[2:05:21]   And which is fine.[2:05:24]   The scan is fine.[2:05:25]   What was the point of this story?[2:05:26]   What were we talking about here at the beginning?[2:05:29]   No, not me.[2:05:30]   I mean, who was the story about here today?[2:05:31]   Brian Callen or something?[2:05:32]   Yeah.[2:05:33]   Yeah.[2:05:34]   So, you know, I forgot what my point was, but, you know, these women have a reason to feel worried.[2:05:44]   You got guys of all ages.[2:05:47]   Imagine that.[2:05:48]   Imagine.[2:05:49]   Now, I want you as a guy to just go to the grocery store and now imagine every guy that you see there, how gross they are, how fat they are, how wide head.[2:05:59]   Imagine these Denny's.[2:06:01]   You know what disgusts me the most?[2:06:03]   Those like 60 year old wide kind of rich guys that like think the world all is, you know, surrounding them.[2:06:14]   Like people that golf, those thick guys wearing the white polo shirt tucked into their slacks.[2:06:23]   They they think the whole world revolves around them.[2:06:27]   That's why I would say I want to start trolling.[2:06:30]   My biggest fantasy is to start trolling like 55 year old, well off BMW driving guys.[2:06:37]   Those type of guys take troll the worst.[2:06:39]   They're the worst.[2:06:40]   And they think this whole world is for them.[2:06:43]   They think they got it figured out.[2:06:45]   They're rolling their eyes at everybody.[2:06:48]   Nerd City says your point is that Brian has no control.[2:06:52]   Nerd City is here today, everybody.[2:06:55]   Very famous YouTuber.[2:06:57]   We got to get that JayStation.[2:06:58]   Video JayStation is threatening people now.[2:07:01]   What did he say?[2:07:03]   Your point is what?[2:07:04]   Your point was that Brian has no control.[2:07:06]   He has no control.[2:07:07]   Yes.[2:07:08]   So it's it's not I don't want you to be confused.[2:07:12]   You know, Gavin McInnes, Stephen Crowder, Anthony Kumiya, all these men that you think[2:07:17]   are so macho and cruel that would never wear this because it's Oh, what would my audience[2:07:24]   think of me?[2:07:26]   They're trying to convince you that these girls who claim that they're raped or assaulted.[2:07:33]   It's so ridiculous.[2:07:36]   And you're falling for it because you hate the nitpicking and the free speech nitpicking.[2:07:43]   You hate the SJWs.[2:07:45]   You hate the PC police.[2:07:46]   You hate Oregon.[2:07:47]   You hate Seattle.[2:07:49]   I hate those things, too.[2:07:53]   But the same guys that are telling you to hate bad are also telling you that these women[2:07:58]   Brian Callen was accused of rape.[2:08:00]   Obviously, he's innocent.[2:08:01]   He's a man.[2:08:02]   He's cool.[2:08:04]   Why is it obvious that he's innocent?[2:08:06]   What makes it obvious?[2:08:08]   His hundreds of orgies.[2:08:10]   Why is it obvious that Chris Talia is innocent?[2:08:13]   Because cancel culture is popular.[2:08:16]   So it's obvious that Chris is innocent.[2:08:19]   Don't get the two confused.[2:08:21]   I'm here to ride with you for all the reasons you ride with Stephen Crowder and Gavin and[2:08:27]   Kumiya.[2:08:28]   I'm here for the right reasons.[2:08:32]   They will devolve into the grime and the gross.[2:08:37]   And they're going to start going.[2:08:39]   They're already starting.[2:08:41]   Any woman that claims rape is out to get us guys.[2:08:47]   It's just not the case.[2:08:49]   Guys are crazy.[2:08:52]   They're animalistic and they cannot control.[2:08:55]   I can barely control myself at a grocery store when I see a hot chick.[2:08:58]   Imagine what Chris Talia would do.[2:09:02]   Imagine what a sex addict would do.[2:09:05]   I see a hot chick at a grocery store.[2:09:07]   I ain't thinking about those groceries.[2:09:10]   And these chicks aren't even hot.[2:09:14]   They're just thin and in person.[2:09:18]   Guys, we all know what I'm talking about.[2:09:20]   Go out and you actually see like a chick and you go, holy cow, man.[2:09:26]   You know, you get very sensitive.[2:09:28]   You get very it's like the same feeling that you have when you have to really take a huge[2:09:33]   shit.[2:09:34]   You get sincere.[2:09:36]   I've got to say, I've never noticed you ever looking or doing because I wish you want to[2:09:44]   know why not.[2:09:45]   You want to know why?[2:09:46]   And I'm so respectful towards Earth's reality, not to you.[2:09:52]   It has nothing to do with you.[2:09:54]   No, no, no.[2:09:55]   You're respectful.[2:09:56]   No, I'll tell you this.[2:09:57]   It's it has to do with reality.[2:09:58]   I go, if I were this girl, does she want me following her around in eyeing her?[2:10:05]   Her whole day is being undressed by a guy's eyes.[2:10:09]   And again, it's not a cute guy like me.[2:10:13]   It's not.[2:10:14]   I used to be cute in my 20s.[2:10:15]   It's not a cute guy like I was in my 20s.[2:10:18]   It's the worst.[2:10:20]   It's everyone from Justin Bieber to Artie Lang.[2:10:25]   It's everybody from Josh Richards to Anthony Kumiya undressing.[2:10:32]   And if I'm going so far out of my way to not let them know.[2:10:39]   And I'm aware of it, imagine how loose these other guys are being and imagine the all day[2:10:47]   day in and day out.[2:10:48]   So don't think this is some liberal.[2:10:51]   And you shouldn't be against women.[2:10:53]   You should be against the people who are making women hate all men.[2:10:58]   You know, the reason we're in this situation is because of people like Brian Callen and[2:11:03]   Chris D'Elia.[2:11:04]   We should be extra mad at them for making girls think we're the same because we hate[2:11:10]   PC stuff.[2:11:11]   So now it's like, if you hate PC stuff, well, then you must be OK with rape.[2:11:16]   And racism, right?[2:11:19]   They've ruined it for fun loving racists like us.[2:11:25]   Race realists.[2:11:27]   Speaking of race, did you hear about the Asian hate crime?[2:11:30]   I don't want to hear about Asian hate crime because I'm going to get tied to it.[2:11:33]   I don't want to hear about it.[2:11:36]   Mike needs some Jedi robes for the summer.[2:11:39]   No, no, no.[2:11:40]   That's going too far.[2:11:41]   Mike is a man to be like.[2:11:44]   Thank you.[2:11:46]   And I mentioned this in the pre-show.[2:11:50]   You know what I hate the most?[2:11:52]   The fans of Red Bar who bully the worshippers of Red Bar.[2:12:00]   Listen to this.[2:12:01]   It's not cool.[2:12:03]   So let's pretend 10 people are like, Mike, you're the best.[2:12:06]   Thank you so much.[2:12:07]   I love her.[2:12:08]   Then there's like 10 people who love Red Bar that much.[2:12:10]   They're like.[2:12:13]   Shut the fuck up, ball washers.[2:12:16]   Don't discourage those ball.[2:12:18]   I need the ball.[2:12:19]   I need the worshippers, OK?[2:12:22]   I live a very painful, negative life where the whole world is against me.[2:12:28]   Let 10 people tell me I'm amazing every day.[2:12:31]   You don't kind of get mad at them, OK?[2:12:33]   They're not.[2:12:34]   It's not messing up your vibe.[2:12:36]   I want worship.[2:12:38]   I've earned it.[2:12:41]   So don't let them bully you out of worship.[2:12:44]   Know this, worshippers.[2:12:45]   And by the way, I call you worshiper.[2:12:47]   It's not to mock you.[2:12:48]   That's what we call our fans, worshippers.[2:12:52]   When I read you, oh, Mike, you're a.[2:12:54]   I don't go, oh, God, what a ball washer.[2:12:56]   What a fag.[2:12:57]   I go, exactly.[2:12:59]   Thank you.[2:13:00]   Finally.[2:13:01]   Every day of this man's life is pure pain and hell.[2:13:03]   Every day is pure pain.[2:13:04]   So when somebody goes, Mike, me and my wife listen.[2:13:06]   You really make it.[2:13:08]   We need that.[2:13:09]   So don't let these crudsters.[2:13:11]   Give us what we need to go on.[2:13:13]   Chalk you out of it and bully you.[2:13:15]   Oh, look at these guys.[2:13:17]   They're the same.[2:13:19]   They just don't know how to express their emotions, OK?[2:13:22]   You're all worshippers.[2:13:24]   And that's nice.[2:13:25]   You should worship me.[2:13:27]   Who else are you going to worship?[2:13:28]   Huh?[2:13:29]   The guy from Green Day?[2:13:30]   I don't think so.[2:13:31]   It's OK to worship me.[2:13:33]   Trust me, especially in 10 years from now.[2:13:35]   I always said, by the time I'm 45,[2:13:37]   I'm going to be at the height of my career.[2:13:39]   And I'm getting there.[2:13:40]   You see how every year, the older I get, people go, OK,[2:13:44]   I can understand.[2:13:46]   So it is OK to worship me.[2:13:48]   Who else are you going to worship?[2:13:49]   Think about what you have.[2:13:50]   What the guy from Take Me to Church,[2:13:53]   you're going to worship him?[2:13:54]   Who are you going to fucking worship?[2:13:56]   And I'll tell you this.[2:13:57]   Even I worship two men.[2:13:59]   I'm not going to tell you who.[2:14:00]   Can I guess?[2:14:01]   Nope.[2:14:03]   Because that would give it away.[2:14:04]   You know, you're closest to me.[2:14:05]   You're supposed to worship one or two people.[2:14:08]   That's how it should be.[2:14:11]   When I say I worship two men, that's not true.[2:14:13]   I want to worship one guy, and he keeps blowing it.[2:14:18]   Is that what you want?[2:14:19]   A guy that keeps blowing it?[2:14:20]   Feel free to worship one person.[2:14:22]   Everybody should be a fan of one thing.[2:14:25]   It's fun to be a fan.[2:14:26]   I wish I could be a fan of more things.[2:14:28]   That's all I want.[2:14:30]   I was a fan of comedy at one point.[2:14:32]   What makes me so mad about what's going on with comedy is it's unfannable.[2:14:37]   These guys are so bad that I can't be a fan.[2:14:40]   I deserve to have somebody to worship.[2:14:43]   Oh, really, dude?[2:14:47]   Yeah.[2:14:48]   And there's nobody out there.[2:14:49]   So don't let these guys bully you into thinking you're ass-kissing me for what?[2:14:56]   Someone says Mike's balls are lovely, suckable plums.[2:14:59]   My balls are so small that you wouldn't even know if you swallowed them.[2:15:03]   They're cute.[2:15:04]   I got the worst nut sack in the world.[2:15:07]   Oh, I love them.[2:15:08]   Oh, I hate nuts.[2:15:10]   And my nuts are so sensitive.[2:15:11]   You tap on them the wrong way, and the whole body goes into a...[2:15:15]   Imagine if I had to suck on a huge, drooping sack.[2:15:19]   I don't like these guys with these big ass sacks.[2:15:22]   I like a giant, long rod and a tiny, little...[2:15:26]   Ball that you could barely see.[2:15:28]   Mike didn't ruin comedy for me.[2:15:31]   It was already ruined, and there was nothing.[2:15:33]   Okay, very cool.[2:15:35]   I need you to be more friendly.[2:15:37]   Oh, no, I don't need you to be more friendly.[2:15:39]   I want those guys to knock it off.[2:15:40]   You don't make fun of the fans who are so...[2:15:42]   You know how long I've worked to get one fan that says they like Red Bar?[2:15:47]   I was a guy...[2:15:48]   I was getting, like, 30, like, 18 years into the show,[2:15:52]   my highest like count on Instagram was, like, 13,[2:15:55]   because everybody was too cool to like a post.[2:16:00]   You know, and now we've got a couple people.[2:16:02]   They're treating me like they treat Santino.[2:16:06]   You know, is it fair?[2:16:08]   Tom Seger and Santino, they've got a million of these guys.[2:16:11]   Oh, I love you.[2:16:12]   Oh, my God, you changed my life.[2:16:14]   And you go, no, they didn't.[2:16:15]   And now I finally got 10 of them, and you're trying to bully them away?[2:16:19]   How dare you?[2:16:20]   Don't you care about my happiness or Jules' happiness?[2:16:24]   All right, we've got an excellent show.[2:16:25]   That was just the intro of our show today.[2:16:27]   Here, one more light news.[2:16:28]   Yeah, we got light news.[2:16:29]   Milo is no longer gay.[2:16:33]   See, I'm not covering this.[2:16:36]   I like Milo, the idea of Milo.[2:16:40]   I'll tell you this.[2:16:41]   I was the first person to tell you he ain't gay.[2:16:48]   Milo wanted to dunk on SJWs.[2:16:51]   He came up with the perfect idea.[2:16:53]   If you pretend you're gay, they can't do anything to you.[2:16:55]   It's the same thing that that yarmulke-wearing Republican guy is doing.[2:16:59]   What's his name?[2:17:00]   Ben Shapiro.[2:17:01]   Ben Shapiro.[2:17:02]   He's not Jewish.[2:17:04]   If he was, come on.[2:17:07]   It's called Fakin' Jamaican.[2:17:10]   I used to do this when I was a kid to try to get into Jamaica.[2:17:13]   Fakin' Jamaican.[2:17:15]   Fakin' Jamaican.[2:17:16]   It's where you're pretending to be a Rastafarian person.[2:17:21]   Either Milo was always faking to be gay, to get away with hating and doing all this stuff,[2:17:29]   or Ben Shapiro was always faking Jewish, or they are gay and Jewish, and now is Ben Shapiro[2:17:35]   going to go, I'm actually not Jewish?[2:17:37]   No, he wouldn't.[2:17:38]   Milo is an attention-seeking Tim Dillon-esque.[2:17:43]   Milo is like Tim Dillon if Tim Dillon was 16 times more pathetic.[2:17:52]   Milo is fully capable of having an audience, entertaining an audience, making a living[2:17:59]   with that audience, but Milo is super gay and lazy.[2:18:06]   Laziness and gayness are hand in hand with a lot of people.[2:18:10]   A lot of people don't know this.[2:18:12]   The reason they're into such debauchery is the same reason that they're so lazy.[2:18:18]   They want the yummy feeling.[2:18:20]   They'll take it from a girl, a guy, a kid.[2:18:22]   They don't give a fuck.[2:18:23]   They want to feel good without putting in work.[2:18:27]   Milo wants to feel good without putting into the work.[2:18:30]   It's a huge trait of a gay man, believe it or not.[2:18:34]   They like, what do you call that?[2:18:36]   They like, you know, this is why they like, wear very fancy clothes.[2:18:45]   They love fruit.[2:18:47]   They love very expensive hotels.[2:18:49]   They like to pamper themselves, okay?[2:18:53]   And Milo is gay, trust me, but Milo is extremely lazy.[2:19:00]   He had a podcast that was fine.[2:19:03]   It was great.[2:19:04]   It was like shot really well.[2:19:05]   It was great.[2:19:06]   Even had a nice set.[2:19:07]   It had a nice set and it could have been big, but Milo didn't want to put in the work.[2:19:12]   Milo doesn't like working at all.[2:19:14]   He likes doing like one podcast a month and then going and being lazy all day and spending his money.[2:19:20]   I was going to say he's not very good at attention seeking because I haven't heard from him for like a year and a half.[2:19:24]   Yeah.[2:19:25]   Well, exactly because what Milo does is he works enough to make a little bit of money and then he just wants to blow the money,[2:19:31]   have sex and do drugs and feel good for months and months and months.[2:19:36]   So because Milo is so lazy, his newest attempt is to come out and say he's not gay now.[2:19:43]   And that will give him another month of attention streak.[2:19:47]   So I'm not going to bite into it and start doing it with Milo.[2:19:51]   Milo, you are very lazy.[2:19:53]   You don't need to be lazy.[2:19:55]   You just need to show up.[2:19:57]   If Milo did a podcast once a week for two hours, he'd be very rich and he'd be fine.[2:20:04]   Even if things that he says are crazy and ridiculous, he does have a charming personality.[2:20:10]   He's great.[2:20:11]   I love listening to Milo.[2:20:13]   And he makes me laugh sometimes.[2:20:15]   His only problem is his own laziness.[2:20:18]   Milo, take it from me.[2:20:20]   Show up once a week.[2:20:22]   Show up once a week.[2:20:24]   Give it your all.[2:20:26]   You'll be fine.[2:20:27]   He doesn't understand that.[2:20:30]   He thinks he's got to do 800 interviews and these people confuse him.[2:20:33]   They make it seem like you got to be on a campaign like Josh Denny all week to get an event.[2:20:38]   Just do one podcast once a week.[2:20:42]   That's all.[2:20:43]   You don't even need to post on Instagram.[2:20:45]   Just that.[2:20:46]   Do that for a year.[2:20:47]   You'll be set.[2:20:48]   Then no one will complain.[2:20:50]   No one will do nothing.[2:20:52]   But this is why he's coming out and saying he's anti-gay.[2:20:54]   That's my take on Milo's new announcement that he's not gay.[2:20:58]   He is fully gay.[2:20:59]   He's kissed a guy.[2:21:00]   Okay, that's enough.[2:21:01]   Guess how old he is.[2:21:03]   Milo is 38.[2:21:04]   36.[2:21:05]   No way.[2:21:06]   Yes.[2:21:07]   Look at that.[2:21:08]   He's 36-year-olds.[2:21:09]   Milo.[2:21:10]   Milo is 36.[2:21:12]   Big Mike is 36.[2:21:13]   We found out Big Mike's birthday is like the same day as mine, right?[2:21:18]   Big Mike, what is his birthday?[2:21:21]   Tim Dillon, 36.[2:21:23]   Milo, 36.[2:21:25]   Big Mike, 36.[2:21:27]   Now, put a pin in your calendar.[2:21:30]   They will be 36 next year.[2:21:33]   They will be 36 the year before.[2:21:35]   Milo was 36 when I first met him.[2:21:37]   Big Mike was 36 when I first met him.[2:21:39]   Tim Dillon was 36 when I first met him.[2:21:43]   When people hit 36, they think they could just say they're 36 for the next 10 years.[2:21:49]   Then all of a sudden, they're 41.[2:21:52]   You'll see.[2:21:53]   This is what's happening.[2:21:54]   All right.[2:21:55]   What do we got next?[2:21:56]   That's a long pause.[2:21:57]   That's a long pause for me.[2:21:58]   I was just seeing if any of the other light news were worth doing.[2:22:02]   You sure?[2:22:03]   It's not your fault.[2:22:04]   The Floyd family got 27 million.[2:22:05]   The George Floyd family got 27 million, bringing their net worth up to about $600 million in[2:22:12]   donations.[2:22:13]   I mean, really.[2:22:14]   I'm ready for that.[2:22:15]   Talk about money.[2:22:16]   Going to the wrong place.[2:22:18]   Guys, when you watch a Kickstarter and you see, oh, this guy got kicked out of a bar[2:22:24]   because he was a midget.[2:22:25]   Let's give him $10,000.[2:22:27]   When you see that it's hit a million, you don't need to now donate two.[2:22:32]   Okay?[2:22:33]   You don't need to give these people this much.[2:22:37]   It's like Patrisse O'Neal's family.[2:22:39]   They have about $400 million because he died simply because their son ate pizza.[2:22:47]   Hi, I'm Patrisse O'Neal's mother, Jamila O'Neal.[2:22:54]   My son loved pizza more than his family.[2:22:58]   He even ate pizza during his job, stand up, in which he didn't even oblige to.[2:23:06]   Yep, my son was a sit down comedian.[2:23:09]   He knew the term was stand up, but he wanted pizza so bad that he would sit in a stool[2:23:17]   to do his job.[2:23:19]   My son worked for about four years total, had maybe about an hour and 26 minutes of[2:23:25]   material, and then died knowing he would die after the doctor told my son,[2:23:33]   if you have one more slice, you might die.[2:23:38]   You know what that nigga did?[2:23:40]   He ordered a piece of pizza stuffed crust, all the toppings,[2:23:47]   meats a meats, treats a pizza.[2:23:50]   He did stand up, eating pizza.[2:23:52]   He died.[2:23:53]   But thank you to Bill Burr for giving me $400 million because my son decided to tell the[2:24:00]   doctor, I'm sorry, diabetes don't scare me.[2:24:03]   So then that family gets a million dollars every two months through benefits and documentaries[2:24:09]   and...[2:24:10]   Why?[2:24:11]   They've got enough.[2:24:13]   Stop donating to Patrice O'Neill's family.[2:24:16]   They're fucking billionaires.[2:24:20]   They're in the list.[2:24:21]   If you say it's like Jeff Bezos, Elon Musk, Patrice O'Neill's mama, this isn't right.[2:24:27]   George Floyd's family does not need $80 million because their son got necked.[2:24:34]   It's twisted.[2:24:36]   Stop donating.[2:24:38]   I would say a million dollars is enough for the loss of George Floyd and that family would[2:24:42]   trade George for $100.[2:24:45]   Don't get it twisted.[2:24:47]   If somebody said, we would like to donate $100 to the Floyd family, they'd go, kill[2:24:53]   that nigga.[2:24:54]   Kill him with a knee.[2:24:56]   That's what they'd say.[2:24:58]   So how dare you give them $27 million?[2:25:02]   And what are they going to do?[2:25:03]   Be the Beverly Hillbillies?[2:25:04]   They deserve it.[2:25:05]   The ghetto Hillbillies.[2:25:08]   You know, buying cigarettes all over this world.[2:25:12]   It's really stupid and that money should be spread out.[2:25:15]   It's like the people who get that money should go, we do not need $27 million just because[2:25:22]   we lost George.[2:25:23]   George would have died in like five years anyway from old age.[2:25:27]   And you're going to say, you need to donate that money.[2:25:31]   Spread it around.[2:25:32]   Keep $1 million.[2:25:33]   That's pretty good for losing boy.[2:25:35]   You know what's going to happen when my parents lose me?[2:25:38]   They're going to get $0 and I am way more valuable than George freaking Floyd.[2:25:46]   Please.[2:25:47]   I mean, come on.[2:25:48]   So it's so stupid.[2:25:50]   It's not right.[2:25:51]   And anybody who accepts that money is a robber.[2:25:55]   I mean, you're robbing the money.[2:25:57]   Someone needs that money.[2:25:58]   You're taking it from someone, right?[2:26:01]   Give the money back to the community.[2:26:04]   Donate it to black people with neck stuff.[2:26:08]   Okay.[2:26:09]   Speaking of Bill Burr, do you want to watch him at the Grammys?[2:26:12]   Yes.[2:26:13]   Bill Burr was at the Grammys.[2:26:14]   He's being roasted.[2:26:15]   He was pretty cute.[2:26:16]   I just thought that this video was funny the way they edited it.[2:26:19]   I like the Grammys because it's what?[2:26:22]   What is it packed with?[2:26:24]   Nominees.[2:26:26]   Nominees is, uh, if people don't know this, you can't.[2:26:30]   I don't call black people, black people.[2:26:32]   I find that to be racist.[2:26:34]   Black people.[2:26:35]   That is the dirtiest phrase I could think of.[2:26:39]   Hey, are you black?[2:26:41]   I mean, like, what the fuck are we thinking?[2:26:44]   That it's okay to call people?[2:26:46]   I mean, the words I call black people are way more erotic and beautiful than black person.[2:26:54]   Think about what you're saying.[2:26:56]   Oh, you're a black person?[2:27:00]   What?[2:27:02]   That sounds awful.[2:27:04]   So I call black people, nominees.[2:27:07]   If you have a problem with that, you're crazy because a nominee means somebody who's about to be awarded a really great award, a Grammy.[2:27:17]   Now I call black people nominees because you tune into the Grammys and it's a bunch of black panther looking men and women who have worked so hard to be here.[2:27:30]   And they're so serious, right? Like you turn on the Oscars now and it's a bunch of women from the movie, The Help.[2:27:35]   And like ever since the movie, The Help came out, their whole cast is just part of the Oscars year after year.[2:27:42]   Same thing with the Grammys, like it's just a bunch of black guys with like beautiful braids and a suit and they're nominees.[2:27:51]   And the whole red carpet is a bunch of nominees, right?[2:27:55]   So that's what I call them.[2:27:56]   They never win though, the Grammys are racist.[2:27:57]   Good.[2:27:58]   I call it the Grundys.[2:28:01]   Here it is, Bill Burr at the Grammys given out awards and they made him do the S category.[2:28:10]   They made him do Bill Burr give Grammys to Mexican influencers or something.[2:28:16]   What do they call these, Hispanic people?[2:28:19]   And Bill Burr had to read all these Hispanic names, which are all convoluted and stupid, so he couldn't pronounce any of them.[2:28:29]   He's like, ah, what is this guy's name, Horatio Torres?[2:28:33]   I don't know.[2:28:35]   And now they think he's racist because he can't pronounce these words.[2:28:39]   We're going to hear more from Bill.[2:28:40]   I think his wife is going to leave him.[2:28:42]   Do we have that clip coming up next?[2:28:44]   Bill Burr's black wife, a nominee, which is a female nominee.[2:28:50]   She's going to be filing for divorce soon.[2:28:52]   Watch this.[2:28:55]   This isn't that great, but Bill Burr at the Grammys.[2:29:00]   Should he even be there?[2:29:02]   Imagine if I was at the Grammys.[2:29:03]   What up, Nia?[2:29:06]   Look at this.[2:29:09]   Thank you, Igor, for that sublime performance.[2:29:12]   I feel like...[2:29:13]   Thank you, Igor, for that sublime performance.[2:29:18]   I didn't know sublime was back together.[2:29:21]   Oh, yeah, they're with Rome.[2:29:23]   Thank you, Igor, for that sublime performance.[2:29:29]   Were they playing Santeria, I hope?[2:29:31]   Was it date rape?[2:29:32]   Was it date rape that Igor was playing?[2:29:35]   You got two problems.[2:29:36]   This is how crazy people are.[2:29:38]   Thank you, Igor, for that sublime performance.[2:29:42]   And now Bill Burr.[2:29:45]   I'm in a virtual heaven.[2:29:47]   And now let's mingle and jingle with the stand up comedian who taught us on Netflix that F is for family.[2:29:56]   He's nominated for his first Grammy this year in the best comedy album category.[2:30:00]   Ladies and gentlemen, here's Bill.[2:30:03]   Bill Burr.[2:30:07]   Thank you, Janae.[2:30:09]   How are you?[2:30:10]   Wow.[2:30:11]   I don't like when people...[2:30:12]   Oh, my God, what the fuck?[2:30:14]   I don't like when people cut the music so short.[2:30:16]   He came out.[2:30:17]   They didn't even give him a fade out.[2:30:19]   Here, watch this like walking out again.[2:30:21]   Where is he?[2:30:22]   Sorry, I clicked back.[2:30:24]   Look at this high ass fuck.[2:30:25]   I don't even know what you are.[2:30:27]   That's a problem where I don't even know what people...[2:30:29]   I want to know what people...[2:30:30]   There's a lot of these mixes in the mix.[2:30:33]   What's her name?[2:30:34]   Janae Sinko?[2:30:35]   Janae Ako, I think.[2:30:36]   And what does she sing?[2:30:37]   I don't actually know any of her songs.[2:30:38]   Single ladies?[2:30:39]   And who taught us on Netflix that F best comedy album category.[2:30:43]   Watch this.[2:30:44]   Ladies and gentlemen, here's Bill.[2:30:47]   Bill Burr.[2:30:52]   Thank you, Janae.[2:30:53]   How are you?[2:30:54]   Oh, that is a fast musical ending there.[2:30:58]   Thank you, Janae.[2:31:00]   Here he comes.[2:31:01]   Was I the only one who wanted to kill himself during that piano solo?[2:31:05]   Whoa.[2:31:08]   Wow.[2:31:09]   There's a crowd of 10,000 people, by the way.[2:31:12]   And that's how many laughs he got.[2:31:14]   Look at that.[2:31:15]   And this is...[2:31:16]   Why do you got to do this?[2:31:18]   Can you say no, Bill?[2:31:20]   Can you go, no, you know why?[2:31:22]   The Grammys ain't cool and I'm cool.[2:31:25]   Whatever happened to being cool and turning things down[2:31:27]   because they were gay.[2:31:29]   When you already have millions...[2:31:31]   He's got $22 million in the bank minimum.[2:31:34]   And he still needs to do things that are against what he believes in.[2:31:40]   You like the Grammys?[2:31:41]   You probably have 10 hours of your podcast where you shit on award shows[2:31:46]   and how fufu they are, right?[2:31:48]   But here he is wearing his suit.[2:31:52]   I bought a suit for this.[2:31:53]   I thought I was going to be on TV.[2:31:54]   I'm such a moron.[2:31:55]   I am losing so much money right now.[2:31:58]   All right.[2:31:59]   Shout out to all the rock stars that I wanted to meet tonight[2:32:01]   who are watching at home instead.[2:32:02]   I'm talking to you, Don Dokken.[2:32:04]   All right.[2:32:06]   What?[2:32:07]   I'm old.[2:32:08]   That was my first...[2:32:09]   So when you start feeling bad for Bill...[2:32:10]   Oh, Bill Burr went to the Grammys.[2:32:12]   And you know what?[2:32:13]   The SJWs are now after him because he couldn't pronounce...[2:32:16]   Oh, poor Bill.[2:32:17]   What a big...[2:32:18]   He has no business at the Grammys.[2:32:22]   Should I go to the Grammys?[2:32:24]   Should I go here?[2:32:25]   Imagine this.[2:32:26]   Hello?[2:32:27]   Hello?[2:32:28]   What's going on?[2:32:30]   Did you turn this off or did it die?[2:32:32]   I didn't do anything.[2:32:33]   Oh, no.[2:32:35]   This died already?[2:32:36]   Or does it auto turn off?[2:32:38]   Probably.[2:32:39]   Let's see.[2:32:40]   I got a new device.[2:32:41]   Hello, the Grammys.[2:32:42]   Hi, how are you?[2:32:44]   Should I use this voice?[2:32:46]   Hi, everybody.[2:32:48]   It's me, Mike.[2:32:49]   Here I'm at the Grammys.[2:32:52]   You're worried about this bit?[2:32:54]   Hi.[2:32:55]   Hi, it's me.[2:32:57]   I'm Mike from Redbar and I'm here to announce the nominees.[2:33:02]   I actually call nominees black people.[2:33:07]   You know, we can't say the n-word anymore,[2:33:09]   so I call them black people nominees[2:33:12]   because the Grammys have so many of these black people in suits.[2:33:16]   Oh, nothing?[2:33:17]   Oh, I'm a victim of cancel culture.[2:33:21]   Okay.[2:33:22]   Well, welcome to the Grammys.[2:33:24]   Any niggas in the audience who spit?[2:33:28]   Oh, I can't say that?[2:33:29]   Okay, cancel culture.[2:33:30]   Okay.[2:33:31]   Well, I'm a victim.[2:33:34]   Let's start a GoFundMe for me.[2:33:39]   Let's see what else.[2:33:41]   So, yes, Chinese people are in the news right now for being killed.[2:33:45]   I don't know why that's news.[2:33:47]   It should be, you know, I wish it was just an announcement.[2:33:54]   Chinese people died, so it's pretty cool.[2:33:57]   I went to a Chinese restaurant the other day.[2:33:59]   I opened a fortune cookie.[2:34:01]   It said, you know, let's kill some chicks.[2:34:06]   I was like, it's pretty cool.[2:34:08]   Oh, my God, they're all against me.[2:34:12]   Okay, well, I hope you had a good time.[2:34:14]   The Grammys are not a victim of cancel culture.[2:34:19]   Maybe I shouldn't be here today.[2:34:22]   Maybe I shouldn't be anywhere.[2:34:25]   It's a new system I got here.[2:34:27]   Look at this new system here, a lot of effects.[2:34:32]   Sounds like Michelle Obama.[2:34:34]   Hey, it's me, Michelle Obama.[2:34:36]   I'm Condoleezza Rice with a daughter in pajama.[2:34:40]   So, yeah, don't feel bad for Bill Burry.[2:34:42]   I have no business being at the Grundy's, okay?[2:34:45]   I have no business being at a child's daycare facility.[2:34:49]   There's people, there's a right place at a right time.[2:34:51]   Not everything's cancel culture madness.[2:34:54]   It's a concert.[2:34:55]   All right, here are the next categories.[2:34:58]   Up for bids.[2:35:00]   For best Latin rock.[2:35:05]   Look at this.[2:35:07]   All right, and the Grammy goes to Fido Paes.[2:35:14]   Okay, she's doing fine so far.[2:35:15]   She's announcing the name.[2:35:19]   It's a cut.[2:35:20]   It's a super cut.[2:35:27]   I can't say this name.[2:35:28]   Natalie what?[2:35:30]   All right.[2:35:32]   And the winner, the Grammy goes to Natalia Lafacady.[2:35:38]   Very funny, okay?[2:35:39]   Yeah, why?[2:35:40]   You got to learn Spanish here?[2:35:42]   Dude, you, oh, I will, oh, sorry.[2:35:44]   I will accept on behalf of her.[2:35:46]   If I butchered her name, I'm sorry.[2:35:49]   Natalie, you won.[2:35:50]   Natalia.[2:35:51]   I always wonder that when you accept on behalf of these Grammys, you get to keep the Grammy,[2:35:55]   right?[2:35:56]   I think so.[2:35:57]   Wouldn't that be nice?[2:35:58]   Gilbert's just got all these Grammys here at Nia's.[2:36:01]   Oh, he's shining on that fucking.[2:36:03]   Tropical Latin album.[2:36:05]   Tropical Latin album.[2:36:06]   I like this.[2:36:07]   Here we go.[2:36:09]   All right.[2:36:11]   Hey, how many feminists are like going nuts?[2:36:15]   So how, why is this cis white male doing all this Latino stuff?[2:36:19]   And the Grammy goes to.[2:36:21]   So that's what it was.[2:36:22]   Oh, the feminists must be going nuts.[2:36:24]   Why is this cis white male doing this Latino stuff?[2:36:27]   So they did go nuts, but mostly because he just labeled everybody who's PC as feminists.[2:36:37]   He doesn't really.[2:36:38]   I think he thinks that's what it's called.[2:36:40]   Bill Burr thinks like every SJW or everybody who's like involved in cancel culture is just[2:36:45]   a feminist.[2:36:46]   Well, it's far beyond that right now.[2:36:48]   So that's actually what they got mad at.[2:36:50]   But I mean, they set them up for failure.[2:36:52]   I think the Grammys did this on purpose.[2:36:54]   They go, let's make them pronounce all these stupid names.[2:36:56]   You know, and by the way, what business do you have with a name like this in the United[2:37:01]   States of America?[2:37:05]   Imagine if I came to you and I had a goofy name like this, I come to you with the easiest[2:37:09]   name in the world.[2:37:10]   I go, Hey everybody, I'm Mike.[2:37:11]   You go, phew, not a lot of work.[2:37:14]   These guys are like, Oh, I am me to mumble.[2:37:18]   And if you pronounce it wrong, you're racist.[2:37:21]   So that's what he did.[2:37:22]   He pronounced all the names wrong.[2:37:25]   Group O niche.[2:37:26]   Hey, I like it.[2:37:34]   For best orchestral performance.[2:37:36]   The nominees are the nominees.[2:37:40]   Raise your hands.[2:37:41]   How many of you hear the word nominees?[2:37:43]   Oh, I can't believe they're saying this on TV here.[2:37:46]   Now I'm a what?[2:37:48]   Now I'm a knee on my neck.[2:37:55]   And the Grammy goes to Gustavo Dudamel conducting the Los Angeles Philharmonic.[2:38:00]   I'll be accepting the Grammy.[2:38:02]   Yeah.[2:38:03]   You know, and that's why I don't feel bad for Bill Burr.[2:38:05]   Why did you accept this role to read the Latin winners?[2:38:10]   This wasn't even on TV.[2:38:11]   This was like what they do before.[2:38:13]   This was just on the internet.[2:38:14]   Why did you take this role?[2:38:17]   Because you want to be a big famous star.[2:38:20]   You went out and bought a suit.[2:38:22]   You got your head rebalded.[2:38:24]   He was nominated for best comedy album, but he lost to Tiffany Haddish.[2:38:28]   Wow.[2:38:29]   Tiffany Haddish.[2:38:30]   I mean, how much of a fag do you have to be to want to do this?[2:38:36]   And if you do this, listen, if somebody said, Mike, the Grammys is interested in having you,[2:38:41]   I would go, OK, let's come up with 10 things we could do to fuck with everybody.[2:38:47]   Bill Burr, he's so badass, right?[2:38:50]   You know what he does?[2:38:51]   He goes to the Grammys and he does what they tell him to do.[2:38:56]   He acts like a fucking bitch.[2:38:58]   He gets in the shoot.[2:39:00]   He reads their words.[2:39:02]   He takes their check.[2:39:03]   He goes, oh, please.[2:39:05]   If somebody asked me to do the Grammys, I'd come up with 10 ways to foil the program.[2:39:10]   I'd come up with 10 things to stir up America.[2:39:13]   They'd be talking about me on Al Jazeera News.[2:39:16]   You'd get that far.[2:39:17]   Do you see what this guy did?[2:39:19]   Did you see what he said?[2:39:20]   Whatever happened to somebody making a splash?[2:39:24]   You know, even what's that guy's name from Britain?[2:39:28]   With the sharp teeth, that big fat ass who's always losing weight, but looking huge and fat.[2:39:33]   Ricky Gervais.[2:39:34]   I'm Ricky Gervais.[2:39:35]   Look at him.[2:39:36]   Even he follows those rules and he really tries to.[2:39:41]   He wants to stay in whatever happened to somebody going, I hate the fucking Grammys.[2:39:46]   I can't believe they asked me.[2:39:47]   Let's make a big.[2:39:48]   At least he made fun of Igor.[2:39:50]   Well, if you if you think Bill Burr is cool, if you think shouldn't he be doing this?[2:39:54]   Like, why not?[2:39:55]   Why not take a risk and go crazy?[2:39:57]   Do something wild.[2:39:59]   They do the minimum, even on SNL.[2:40:01]   They're like, oh, Dave Chappelle.[2:40:03]   Why?[2:40:04]   Because he went a half step further than Colin Jost would go.[2:40:09]   Oh, he's really pushing the boundaries.[2:40:11]   Why not blow it all up if you're such a boundary pusher?[2:40:16]   Because you know why?[2:40:17]   They're afraid to lose those roles.[2:40:19]   They won't be given those roles again.[2:40:21]   Well, that's why.[2:40:22]   Prepare.[2:40:23]   Come up.[2:40:24]   Go.[2:40:25]   I'm doing the Grammys.[2:40:26]   I'm going to work for a year to make them all think that I'm a game player and I'm going[2:40:31]   to do the Grammys.[2:40:32]   I'm going to say the craziest fucking shit.[2:40:34]   I'm going to make the biggest stir.[2:40:36]   I'm going to make the biggest mess.[2:40:39]   Kanye is the only one.[2:40:40]   I'm going to make every comedy fan in the world jumped.[2:40:44]   Kanye is the only one.[2:40:47]   You know, I'm really when I grew up, I thought there was at least always 25 guys that were[2:40:52]   causing stirs and being cool.[2:40:55]   And my biggest dream was to get on an award show stage.[2:41:00]   And say some shit like that.[2:41:01]   But guess what?[2:41:02]   You don't get asked to be on an award show stage if they know that you're actually cool.[2:41:07]   You got to be a game player and Bill Burr behind the scenes.[2:41:09]   So stop giving him so much credit just because he pushes the bounds one centimeter farther[2:41:16]   than the other lamest gay that you have.[2:41:19]   You know, it's like, oh, Bill Burr's amazing.[2:41:22]   Why?[2:41:23]   Because he's an inch better than the worst guy below him.[2:41:27]   Like who's second to Bill Burr?[2:41:30]   Steve run is easy.[2:41:31]   Who is it?[2:41:33]   So you guys always give credit to the best of the worst.[2:41:36]   I wish you would stop doing that.[2:41:37]   You should demand more.[2:41:38]   You should see Bill Burr and go, why can't he do something that's game changing?[2:41:43]   He's got the power now.[2:41:45]   He's got the ability and he's got the opinions, but he won't do anything.[2:41:51]   Why can't anyone make a big spectacle?[2:41:52]   Why can't someone get on that stage?[2:41:54]   And Kanye West is the only one.[2:41:56]   And he did it out of stupidity.[2:41:58]   So it doesn't even really feel that great when Kanye was what passion George Bush doesn't[2:42:03]   care about black people.[2:42:06]   That's what everyone should be doing with their fame.[2:42:09]   You should always be trying to cause a media storm.[2:42:14]   The fact that they don't show us how nonsense they are.[2:42:19]   Okay.[2:42:20]   So don't just, oh, Bill Burr.[2:42:21]   So sweet.[2:42:22]   Well, and he said libs.[2:42:25]   Whereas the other guys don't say that.[2:42:28]   That doesn't make him cool.[2:42:29]   Just makes him that much cooler than the gayest guy they have.[2:42:35]   Okay.[2:42:36]   Keep that in your mind.[2:42:37]   Keep those standards up with those guys.[2:42:39]   All right.[2:42:40]   I think that's going to take us out of light news.[2:42:41]   I'm very excited.[2:42:42]   Tony motherfucking Hengecliff.[2:42:47]   Norm does.[2:42:48]   That's another guy that you think is so great.[2:42:50]   He doesn't do enough.[2:42:52]   None of them do enough.[2:42:55]   Norm McDonald does a little bit more again than everyone else.[2:42:59]   So you guys are so quick to applaud him.[2:43:03]   He's not doing enough.[2:43:04]   If Norm McDonald was cool, he'd really lay it all out there.[2:43:08]   Somebody needs to give America the speech that they need to hear.[2:43:12]   Is anybody willing to give America the speech?[2:43:18]   Norm McDonald, he does a tiny bit and then goes into hiding for eight months and does[2:43:22]   a tiny little bit, goes into hiding and you guys go, oh, he's the best.[2:43:26]   He's so ballsy.[2:43:27]   He ain't ballsy.[2:43:29]   He does a tiny bit and then he pulls back to allow himself to still get the entertainment[2:43:35]   industry checks.[2:43:37]   He apologized on the view.[2:43:39]   Look at that.[2:43:41]   These people, I'm telling you, everyone in entertainment, their goal is to be famous[2:43:46]   and liked.[2:43:49]   They're not there to share your issues.[2:43:52]   They're not there to make you inspired.[2:43:55]   They're there for them.[2:43:57]   That's my point here on this show.[2:43:59]   All right.[2:44:00]   Mike, speech, speech.[2:44:01]   What's our next seven?[2:44:02]   Did you want to hear about Bill's mushroom trip?[2:44:04]   Yeah.[2:44:05]   So this is really interesting.[2:44:06]   Bill Burr has been going through it.[2:44:08]   They've tried every pill in the place to get him to be happy and he don't need to be happy.[2:44:14]   We liked Bill Burr when he was angry, when he was honest, before he met Mia.[2:44:21]   Now what does Mia stand for?[2:44:23]   M-I-A, right?[2:44:25]   Missing in action.[2:44:26]   Her brain, the black brain, missing in action.[2:44:29]   I'm getting mad at that.[2:44:31]   He married a 65.[2:44:34]   I can't get over this.[2:44:35]   Bill Burr out of nowhere, never dated, never talked about a black chick ever.[2:44:41]   He was a sports guy who's on Opie and Anthony.[2:44:43]   All of a sudden he shows up with Harriet Winslow from Family Matters and everybody,[2:44:51]   this is what I didn't like, everyone in the world just went, oh, we love his new wife.[2:44:56]   She's great.[2:44:58]   You're not going to, no comment on how she's an old black, I mean the old part is just[2:45:05]   as crazy as the black part.[2:45:07]   It would be crazy if he was with a hot, chic, young, single black chick.[2:45:14]   At least he picked a girl his own age.[2:45:16]   He picked like a, I'm not kidding, when you see pictures of her, she's an overweight 65[2:45:21]   year, again, the closest she looks like is the mom from Family Matters, Carl, Carl, she's[2:45:28]   holding the basket of laundry coming down, Carl, did you remember to get the plumbing[2:45:33]   fix?[2:45:34]   Uh, yes.[2:45:36]   And then the water shoots out of the sink, right?[2:45:40]   We couldn't believe it.[2:45:42]   And she's got a lot of guilt around that.[2:45:44]   And you're going, what guilt?[2:45:45]   Can't he marry, can't he?[2:45:46]   Yes, he can.[2:45:47]   But the Bill Burr I knew needs to make a joke about it, all right?[2:45:51]   If I showed up, the red bar, you know me, and all of a sudden I bring in Queen Latifah[2:45:56]   here and I say, my new wife, the queen, you'd go, you got to make it, you're not going to[2:46:01]   make a joke?[2:46:02]   Bill Burr didn't say boo.[2:46:04]   Bill Burr should have a bit.[2:46:06]   Can you believe, imagine this, Bill Burr, watch this.[2:46:10]   Test, test, test.[2:46:11]   I think you have to turn your other mic off when you use that one because then it makes[2:46:15]   a squeaky noise.[2:46:16]   Yeah, no, I know, but why aren't I getting, like, why is this off?[2:46:21]   Test, test, test, test, test, test, test, test, does this just go on?[2:46:28]   Imagine this, Bill Burr, this is what, this is, this is what he should have been doing.[2:46:34]   Watch this.[2:46:36]   So, yeah, hey, Madison Square Garden, make some noise, hey, how are ya, yeah, yeah, yeah.[2:46:43]   So I just got married recently, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, married, married, Jules, you got[2:46:47]   to be the audience, just got married recently.[2:46:50]   So yeah, I mean, I guess someone needs to say it, I, I got a black wife.[2:47:02]   I know, right, like, what the fuck, where did I find her, huh?[2:47:07]   Prison, the prison's just, I mean, do you understand where I'm getting to here?[2:47:12]   Do a bit about it, break the ice, you left us all sitting there going, what the fuck[2:47:18]   is he doing?[2:47:19]   And then you made us all feel guilty because no one mentioned your black wife, so now we[2:47:24]   all got to pretend that, oh, why would you mention his black wife?[2:47:28]   What's wrong with it?[2:47:29]   There's nothing wrong with it.[2:47:30]   It needs to be mentioned.[2:47:33]   His biggest mistake in his career was not doing a 40-minute epic standing ovation bit[2:47:44]   about that monkey, I'm kidding, I'm kidding, I'm kidding, I can't, I'm trying to do a bit.[2:47:50]   You didn't see that coming.[2:47:52]   So, um, I believe that now they put them on pills.[2:47:57]   They put them on happy pills, all right, they didn't like his crankiness, so they put them[2:48:02]   on happy pills.[2:48:03]   He's tried every cigar in the humidor, they didn't work.[2:48:07]   He's finally, after 50 years of existence, now he's going to Joshua Tree and trying mushrooms,[2:48:17]   all right?[2:48:19]   He figures, you know what, I'm going to try mycodosian and they've taken him to Joshua[2:48:26]   Tree.[2:48:28]   They're like that, huh?[2:48:29]   And they're giving him mushrooms.[2:48:30]   You want to hear Bill Burr's mushroom experience?[2:48:33]   This ain't good.[2:48:37]   What time code is this at?[2:48:38]   Oh, 6.40.[2:48:39]   It's the all things comedy show, Bert and Bill Burr.[2:48:45]   You know, I did that clip, I did his Bill Burr becoming a snob.[2:48:47]   This was before all his pills.[2:48:49]   That's got like 200,000 views.[2:48:50]   Oh my God, fame and fortune.[2:48:54]   He is not a snob anymore.[2:48:58]   Bill Burr, for those of you, ever since I put out my video, I think it became a little[2:49:03]   fight between him and his wife.[2:49:04]   I think they saw the video and it was the final straw.[2:49:08]   They knew Bill was getting a little cocky and a little mean.[2:49:12]   And I think his wife for a long time had said, you need to go to the doctor and you need,[2:49:18]   do you care about this marriage?[2:49:21]   Then go to the doctor, get on the pool.[2:49:26]   Now can you call your wife the n-word when you're fucking her?[2:49:28]   If you're married to a black chick, like imagine if Bill Burr was fucked and like, damn nigga,[2:49:35]   damn nigga, you fine.[2:49:39]   Can you say that to your wife?[2:49:40]   Can you call your wife?[2:49:41]   Nigga?[2:49:42]   I guess it depends on the wife's rules.[2:49:43]   I guess it depends on the wife's rules.[2:49:45]   Okay.[2:49:46]   It's all things comedy.[2:49:47]   Let's hear about Bill's mushroom trip.[2:49:51]   This doesn't have anything to do with being against black people.[2:49:54]   It has to do with Billy Corgan-esque whites dating a crazy looking black chick.[2:50:00]   It's just a bizarre matchup.[2:50:03]   It doesn't make a lick of sense.[2:50:07]   And it could make sense with a two minute explanation.[2:50:09]   Yeah, I married this, uh, yeah, turns out I'm a coon chase.[2:50:15]   I mean, what can't you make a bit about this?[2:50:18]   Your whole, all your fan base are going, what is going on with this black chick?[2:50:21]   I mean, again, it ain't sista sista, it ain't, it's like a full on black DMV employee.[2:50:32]   All right, let's, uh, hear what he has to say.[2:50:36]   I was like, I got, I got to do, you know, I got to see what it's about.[2:50:42]   Somebody told me it would help my tinnitus.[2:50:43]   We got a funny question in the chat.[2:50:45]   I don't like to take questions.[2:50:46]   This isn't an interview, but I like this when they go, what does Mike say to Jules[2:50:51]   when they make love?[2:50:52]   Wow.[2:50:53]   Look at that.[2:50:54]   Let me think about that.[2:50:57]   Let's figure this out.[2:50:59]   Let me think about that.[2:51:00]   What do I say?[2:51:04]   I think I sing.[2:51:05]   Do I do a lot of singing when we're doing it?[2:51:07]   We don't do it.[2:51:08]   You think I'm fucking having sex with anybody?[2:51:10]   I ain't doing shit.[2:51:13]   Too romantic to tell people, huh?[2:51:16]   No, too athletic to do.[2:51:19]   People think I'm having sex.[2:51:20]   I could barely stand up out of this chair without taking 45 minutes.[2:51:24]   Imagine me having sex.[2:51:25]   That's like a full gymnastic thing.[2:51:27]   I don't know how anyone has sex.[2:51:29]   It's so, um, it cancels out the pleasure from sex having to do so much cardio.[2:51:35]   It really does to me.[2:51:36]   I don't like it.[2:51:38]   I do most of the cardio.[2:51:39]   I like masturbating quickly in the dark while she's sleeping.[2:51:43]   To Instagram.[2:51:44]   All right.[2:51:45]   Watch this.[2:51:46]   It's total bullshit.[2:51:47]   Um, they're going to love his mushroom people.[2:51:51]   They think they understand the universe after they take it, dude, you fucking understand[2:51:54]   the vibrations, man.[2:51:56]   So it's just like, no dude, you were tripping.[2:51:59]   Um, like you look at a lamp a whole different way.[2:52:03]   By the way, we don't like these guys that go poor jewels all be nicer to like, do not[2:52:08]   white knight jewels or trust everyone in white knight's jewel.[2:52:11]   She gets another mark.[2:52:13]   Mike is too nice to me during the week, so he has to yell at me during the show to prove[2:52:17]   he's not gay.[2:52:18]   White knighting jewels is a sick move around here because that means, first of all, you[2:52:23]   don't understand that red bar is doing a whole shtick here.[2:52:27]   These, Oh, poor jewel, poor jewels.[2:52:35]   She's lucky she's alive, but I took it and my buddy told me it goes, take four squares.[2:52:42]   So I said, all right, I'm taking four squares.[2:52:44]   What mushroom chocolates?[2:52:46]   Oh really?[2:52:49]   Mushroom chocolates.[2:52:50]   All right.[2:52:51]   I'm taking four squares.[2:52:53]   What's four square?[2:52:54]   Where do I know that from?[2:52:55]   Four square.[2:52:56]   What's that game where you bounce a ball?[2:52:57]   Oh, so I'm doing my, so look what it's like.[2:52:59]   This is like an anti mushroom guy.[2:53:01]   I mean, you know, this is like a Budweiser guy.[2:53:06]   Now he's doing mushrooms cause he's at his wits end.[2:53:08]   He's so miserable.[2:53:09]   Right?[2:53:10]   So he's got to turn to the magical dung fruit, the mushroom, and he can't even do it right.[2:53:17]   He's eating the chocolates.[2:53:19]   God knows what's in there.[2:53:20]   You know, I would say that if you're doing the chocolates, it's at least half of what[2:53:27]   they're telling you.[2:53:28]   It is right.[2:53:29]   It's gotta be.[2:53:30]   All right.[2:53:31]   Let's hear this.[2:53:32]   Okay.[2:53:33]   And my buddy told me he goes, take four squares.[2:53:34]   So I said, all right, I'm taking six.[2:53:35]   I want to go on a ride.[2:53:37]   Jesus Christ.[2:53:38]   What do you mean Jesus Christ?[2:53:39]   How do you know four squares or six squares is even a lot.[2:53:42]   Maybe you got to eat like 20 squares to even get the effects.[2:53:46]   Four squares could be the amount of like a tiny little fucking stem.[2:53:51]   And then Bert's going to act like he knows he's too afraid to do anything like this.[2:53:55]   He's another worry wart.[2:53:57]   Fuck that.[2:53:58]   I'm doing six.[2:53:59]   Six probably equals like one little mushroom stem, right?[2:54:03]   I mean, come on up.[2:54:06]   What time are we at here?[2:54:08]   Fuck.[2:54:09]   6.40.[2:54:10]   6.40.[2:54:11]   You know, because what kind of chocolate, I mean, if they're giving you six, it's not[2:54:16]   going to be, it can't be any good, right?[2:54:20]   There's no like companies out there making mushroom chocolates where it's like, you get[2:54:24]   12 pieces and if you do six, you're going to fucking go crazy.[2:54:27]   They're not going to do that.[2:54:30]   I could, I could really ride with this.[2:54:32]   Oh, you know, wait, you want to talk about something that I've been, I've been doing.[2:54:36]   I fucking, uh, I went out to the desert, uh, I still call it the desert because of, uh,[2:54:43]   Greg Geraldo.[2:54:44]   I still say when your balls are sticking onto your leg out here in the, in the Adidas soccer[2:54:49]   shirt that he accidentally got at the Adidas store shopping in the wrong department, dude,[2:54:55]   that's the soccer department.[2:54:57]   You really look like one of these guys here, you're going to do one of those bicycle kicks.[2:55:03]   That's so funny.[2:55:04]   He went to the Adidas store.[2:55:05]   You realize, like, there's like a European section, like it's got like a thin, wide collar.[2:55:11]   I mean, really stupid.[2:55:12]   Um, we went to, uh, me and the family, uh, went out to, uh, Joshua tree.[2:55:19]   Really?[2:55:20]   Oh yeah.[2:55:21]   I went out there and we had, everybody got family.[2:55:23]   You took your kids and black.[2:55:26]   First of all, I didn't know you could bring black people to Joshua tree.[2:55:29]   That sounds, what are they going to spray paint the trees?[2:55:34]   Ja rule tree is what it's called now.[2:55:40]   Now that you've brought that black person there, Joshua tree, what are they doing?[2:55:45]   Tested and shit.[2:55:46]   We had, I have some other family, we came in, whatever, did the whole thing.[2:55:49]   So, uh, I tried mushrooms for the first time.[2:55:53]   Cause I was in the desert.[2:55:55]   I was like, I gotta, I gotta do, I, you know, I gotta see what it's about.[2:55:59]   Not sure if you're supposed to do mushrooms on a family vacation with your kids.[2:56:02]   Right?[2:56:04]   That should be enough to take his kids away.[2:56:07]   Yeah.[2:56:08]   We went on a family trip, so I started doing, imagine if your dad even knew how to get shrooms.[2:56:15]   Yikes.[2:56:17]   Let's hear this.[2:56:18]   Family vacation brought the whole family to Joshua tree.[2:56:21]   Tim Dillon calls it a litter box for drug addicts.[2:56:27]   And you brought your black wife, your two God knows what looking kids, you know, have[2:56:32]   we ever seen his kids?[2:56:34]   I think you're respectfully keeps them private.[2:56:36]   Yeah.[2:56:37]   And then he's doing mushrooms while the black woman tries to find the, uh, built in barbecue[2:56:42]   that she's never going to find.[2:56:45]   Somebody told me it would help my tinnitus, which is totally bullshit, um, fucking mushroom[2:56:51]   people.[2:56:52]   They think they understand the universe after they take it, dude, you fucking understand[2:56:55]   the vibrations, man.[2:56:57]   So it's just like, no dude, you were tripping.[2:57:00]   Um, like you look at a lamp a whole different way.[2:57:03]   So anyway, I took it and, and my buddy told me, he goes, take four squares.[2:57:07]   So I said, all right, I'm taking six.[2:57:08]   I want to go on a ride.[2:57:10]   Jesus Christ.[2:57:11]   Oh, shut up.[2:57:12]   Well, fortunately my wife told, talked me out of it.[2:57:15]   She goes, take four.[2:57:16]   And I'm like, typical, pull it back on the reins.[2:57:20]   You'll take four.[2:57:21]   Yeah.[2:57:22]   I wanted, I wanted to be the lizard King.[2:57:23]   I'm like, if I'm going to fucking do it, I want to do it.[2:57:26]   So I, I ate the four squares immediately.[2:57:29]   Really nauseous.[2:57:30]   It was in the form of chocolate, just really like, and, and the, not the being nauseous[2:57:35]   lasted the whole, you get nauseous from the, from chocolate.[2:57:39]   Your wife's in the form of chocolate, bro, it's in the form of chocolate.[2:57:45]   He's talking about his wife there.[2:57:48]   What's wrong with that?[2:57:49]   By the way, you are identical to the candy that everyone dies for.[2:57:55]   Did you guys know that chocolate is a slave product?[2:57:59]   Yes.[2:58:00]   Oh my God.[2:58:01]   I did not know this.[2:58:03]   We got a chocolate bar from this Tony's company, Tony's chocolate.[2:58:07]   And on the front of the Tony's chocolate, I liked this chocolate.[2:58:10]   It says striving to keep chocolate slave free.[2:58:16]   I said, what the fuck kind of thing is just to say on the cover of a chocolate bar?[2:58:22]   I couldn't believe it.[2:58:23]   The word slave on the cover of a chocolate bar.[2:58:27]   And they said, striving to keep chocolate slave free, Tony's.[2:58:32]   And I go, are other chocolates slave?[2:58:37]   And by the way, Tony's isn't saying they don't use slave, slaves.[2:58:40]   They're saying they're working on it.[2:58:43]   So I did not know about chocolate slaves and then we Googled it.[2:58:49]   Pull up the video really quick because I think we're onto something here.[2:58:53]   Bill Burr has got a black wife.[2:58:55]   He's eating chocolate.[2:58:56]   Chocolate is picked by slaves.[2:58:58]   His wife said only eat full square.[2:59:03]   Did you know that most chocolate is using slave labor to pick the cocoa?[2:59:10]   Child slaves.[2:59:11]   This is crazy.[2:59:12]   Do we have a clip here?[2:59:13]   Look at this.[2:59:14]   This is real.[2:59:15]   Good evening and welcome to 16 by 9 the bigger picture.[2:59:19]   I'm Carolyn Jarvis.[2:59:20]   My favorite aspect ratio.[2:59:22]   Sweet.[2:59:23]   It's the most sacred day in the Christian calendar and in today's world, a commercial[2:59:27]   blitz Easter, a time for the chocolate industry to cash in.[2:59:31]   But what many may not realize when they're getting their chocolate fixed this year is[2:59:35]   just who's behind it.[2:59:37]   Kids, some as young as 10 are feeling a child labor movement in the cocoa fields of West[2:59:42]   Africa.[2:59:43]   And by kids, I think she means kids.[2:59:44]   Africa, our culture of hope takes us to Ghana with a look at the darker side of chocolate.[2:59:51]   Wow.[2:59:52]   You're really going to say that?[2:59:54]   The darker side of chocolate, wink, wink, black kids are picking it.[3:00:00]   So if you eat chocolate, you're worse than red bar.[3:00:02]   The darker side of chocolate.[3:00:04]   We looked into this.[3:00:06]   Every piece of chocolate is picked by black legit slaves.[3:00:11]   So.[3:00:12]   And that's, I mean, SJWs are gobbling chocolate down by the gallon.[3:00:18]   Look at this.[3:00:23]   Somebody has a great point.[3:00:24]   They go, looks pretty easy to do though.[3:00:26]   So yeah.[3:00:27]   How about that?[3:00:28]   No, they have to.[3:00:29]   This is slave.[3:00:30]   Oh, I'm such a slave.[3:00:31]   I have to go like this, but they're only 10.[3:00:34]   I don't care.[3:00:35]   When I was 10, you know what I was doing?[3:00:37]   Harder work than that.[3:00:38]   Trust me.[3:00:39]   They literally have to go up to a Bush and go dink, dink, and they're getting what?[3:00:44]   Zero dollars.[3:00:45]   Well, I was getting zero dollars for mowing my father's Bush.[3:00:49]   Watch this.[3:00:50]   This is real.[3:00:52]   Children in Canada love eating chocolate, but while they indulge in this sweet treat,[3:00:58]   some children who have never tasted chocolate are forced to work on cocoa bean farms in[3:01:04]   West Africa.[3:01:05]   It's very sweet.[3:01:07]   Oh.[3:01:08]   Chocolate is made from cocoa beans, which grow in pods on trees.[3:01:11]   We have some beans in it.[3:01:14]   That's lobster.[3:01:15]   Didn't you just say something about, you're like Willy Wonka and the Oompa Loompa?[3:01:20]   Well, yeah, I mean, that's, well, yeah, that's the risk.[3:01:23]   This is really what's happening.[3:01:24]   Not little did I know.[3:01:25]   I mean, I knew this.[3:01:27]   Why do you think I like chocolate so much?[3:01:29]   Why do you think I'm a chocoholic?[3:01:32]   I didn't like it.[3:01:33]   I didn't know it.[3:01:34]   I'm going to start eating so much chocolate and buying so much chocolate because every[3:01:40]   time you buy a chocolate bar, one of these kids has to work overtime.[3:01:44]   I think I'm going to buy so much fucking chocolate.[3:01:47]   We should accuse people who eat chocolate of being slave owners.[3:01:51]   Imagine if all you had to do to make a black person be a slave in 2021 litter literally[3:01:59]   is to buy a bunch of chocolate.[3:02:02]   I mean, it's a win win.[3:02:04]   It's a win win.[3:02:05]   You get the chocolate, you're out what, 20 bucks.[3:02:10]   They're out what a whole guy's life.[3:02:15]   You know, if you hate black people, you need to start chugging down milkshakes.[3:02:21]   I mean, really, you should be opening up a candy store.[3:02:25]   And by the way, I'm going to start going to candy stores and going, what's going on?[3:02:29]   That's what I mean.[3:02:30]   You should accuse people.[3:02:31]   So it's like a chocolate shop.[3:02:34]   Basically like the new KKK.[3:02:36]   Let's see what happens here.[3:02:38]   You can eat it like toffee.[3:02:40]   You can eat it like toffee.[3:02:42]   Sven's going to love this.[3:02:43]   The red bean, if I bite it, it's very bitter.[3:02:47]   Cocoa beans are Ghana's biggest cash crop, but it's a bittersweet.[3:02:51]   By the way, are they washing all these beans here is my do I have to wash my chocolate[3:02:56]   before I eat it?[3:02:58]   If it's being taught, is it inside?[3:03:00]   I take a chocolate bar, I wash the whole thing out till it melts.[3:03:04]   And then I reformed the bar.[3:03:06]   Because how do you get chalk?[3:03:07]   How do you get the their dirty hand grime out of the center of your chocolate, you got[3:03:11]   to melt it down, scrub it with soap, rinse it, strain it, reform the bar.[3:03:18]   It's basically not worth it.[3:03:20]   Harvest because of the common use of child labor.[3:03:24]   Yana's Gold Coast as it used to be known was once the center of West Africa's slave trade.[3:03:32]   In some ways, the practice continues.[3:03:36]   There's me off road and to find the children of the cocoa bean we drove hundreds of kilometers[3:03:41]   down bumpy, almost impassable road and tracked deep into the heart of the cocoa.[3:03:50]   This is what Canadian news teams are doing.[3:03:52]   They're taking the initiative that woman just crossed a creek on a log.[3:03:58]   When's the last time you saw Billy Bush do some shit like that?[3:04:03]   Our news teams, they don't do anything.[3:04:05]   They read a tweet.[3:04:06]   This woman was walking across a log covered in fire ants.[3:04:18]   This teenager says he's been toiling at this every day since he was 13.[3:04:24]   BK is just nine years old.[3:04:26]   You got to stop believing what kids tell you too, though.[3:04:29]   Like they'll go up to a kid in Africa be like, are you a slave?[3:04:32]   I'll be like, yes, very slave, he's a slave.[3:04:35]   Do a report on it.[3:04:36]   He's kidding.[3:04:37]   He's a kid.[3:04:38]   Why are the guys, the boss of all these kids, why are they allowing this interview to happen?[3:04:43]   I mean, literally this kid is like nine years old.[3:04:46]   He's completely naked and he's in charge of Dove milk chocolate.[3:04:53]   This is the CEO of Dove.[3:04:56]   They give him no money and we're sitting here eating every Halloween.[3:05:01]   These kids are out there naked.[3:05:03]   I'm going to help these kids.[3:05:04]   Yeah.[3:05:06]   Today, working the cocoa beans, look at this, the use of child labor and the trafficking[3:05:15]   of chocolate.[3:05:16]   I didn't know chocolate came from the fucking dirt, bro.[3:05:17]   I'm not eating that shit.[3:05:20]   You know, I came up thinking vegetables were icky because they came from the ground.[3:05:25]   I had no idea chocolate came from black hands and black dirt.[3:05:30]   Disgusting.[3:05:31]   I will never eat a bite of Cadbury again.[3:05:34]   But anyway, Bill Burr's with his black wife, eating six squares of slave chocolate right[3:05:40]   in front of his wife.[3:05:41]   By the way, black people should be anti-chocolate.[3:05:43]   All of them.[3:05:44]   I know.[3:05:45]   That's why I'm so surprised nobody's talking about this.[3:05:46]   Why aren't we canceling people for their sweet teeth?[3:05:50]   I'm going to start.[3:05:51]   I'm going to start canceling people.[3:05:52]   Anytime I see a guy eating chocolate, I'm going to call for his demise.[3:05:56]   Slap it out of his hand.[3:05:57]   Yup.[3:05:58]   Here we go.[3:05:59]   Four squares, immediately really nauseous, was in the form of chocolate.[3:06:03]   It's really like being nauseous lasted the whole time.[3:06:08]   Wow.[3:06:09]   So you eat some of this chocolate, you look at your black wife, you're all of a sudden[3:06:12]   getting nauseous.[3:06:13]   Hmm.[3:06:14]   Interesting.[3:06:15]   Pretty racist.[3:06:16]   And the other dude that I did him with was feeling the same thing.[3:06:21]   So you know, at first it starts feeling like a pot cookie, like, all right, I've been here[3:06:27]   before.[3:06:28]   And then it just kind of keeps going, like passes the pothouse like, oh shit, we're still[3:06:32]   going down the road.[3:06:33]   By the way, these are what regular chocolates do to black people.[3:06:38]   You'll trip out.[3:06:39]   That's why you'll never see a black person eating fudge.[3:06:44]   That would be like doing 400 tabs of compressed acid, like a square of fudge to a black person.[3:06:51]   That's like DMT to a black person.[3:06:54]   You'll never see them.[3:06:55]   You'll see them smoke fudge just one hit and they go kooky.[3:06:59]   But yeah, you'll never see.[3:07:02]   This is like the untold story of people go, oh, watermelon, oh, watermelon.[3:07:06]   Maybe they're eating watermelon to cut through all the richness of the chocolate.[3:07:09]   You ever think about that?[3:07:11]   They need something to wash down all that richness.[3:07:16]   Cheers.[3:07:18]   And then, you know, the TV starts looking like it's getting bigger and then all of a[3:07:22]   sudden it kind of looks like maybe it's going to fall on me, but I'm just sort of enjoying[3:07:26]   it going like, well, I know that's not happening.[3:07:28]   Wait a minute.[3:07:30]   You have bolted in TVs in Joshua.[3:07:32]   Oh, they're at one of those fancy cabins or hotels.[3:07:36]   Of course.[3:07:37]   Oh, my God.[3:07:38]   You can't do shrooms.[3:07:40]   Well, then you didn't go to Josh.[3:07:43]   Why would you go to Joshua Tree to stay indoors at a fancy Airbnb or hotel or wherever these[3:07:50]   people stay?[3:07:51]   You're supposed to.[3:07:52]   Haven't you ever seen Entourage?[3:07:54]   You stay on the rocks, bro, where the hills have eyes.[3:07:58]   You don't do shrimp.[3:07:59]   They don't go to these people are so I'm going to Joshua Tree to do shrooms inside of a modern[3:08:06]   Airbnb.[3:08:07]   You go to an Airbnb in L.A. and do what do you think?[3:08:09]   Because you're on the land.[3:08:11]   No, it's supposed to be you're in nature.[3:08:14]   You're looking at a cacti and it turns into a thing.[3:08:17]   You can't do shrooms indoors while looking at a TV.[3:08:21]   Right.[3:08:22]   I mean, I don't really think the TV got bigger.[3:08:26]   Just saying.[3:08:28]   I've seen so many shrooms.[3:08:29]   The TV's don't grow.[3:08:31]   These guys do a lot of add ons.[3:08:34]   Look at this chocolate just really like in the not being nauseous, lasted the whole people[3:08:40]   are asking about Joshua.[3:08:41]   Isn't Joshua Tree where the fish in the beans?[3:08:43]   OK.[3:08:44]   I don't know what goes on there.[3:08:46]   I don't like that name.[3:08:48]   Who's with me?[3:08:49]   Joshua Tree.[3:08:51]   Remember the first time you heard that name?[3:08:52]   I'll never forgot forget when I heard that.[3:08:55]   When I first heard of Joshua Tree, I thought it was like a Christian's.[3:09:00]   It sounds like a Christian camp.[3:09:02]   Yeah.[3:09:03]   Or like a Christian's nursery school or something like that.[3:09:07]   I don't like that name.[3:09:09]   Joshua Tree.[3:09:11]   My son Joshua came to the forest, he said.[3:09:16]   And do you know the Joshua Tree is an actual little weirdo tree?[3:09:20]   It looks like like a weird Dr. Seuss type of tree.[3:09:24]   And there's just many of them in this.[3:09:26]   You know, they call it a forest, even a desert could be a national forest.[3:09:30]   Did you know that?[3:09:31]   It's Joshua Tree National Forest.[3:09:35]   Forests aren't all tall trees.[3:09:37]   So they stayed in an Airbnb, just like Tim Dillon, where you're sitting on a little tiny,[3:09:43]   really expensive chair.[3:09:44]   Yeah, that's not where you're supposed to try mushrooms.[3:09:48]   And the other dude that I did him with was feeling the same thing.[3:09:51]   Look at this great stuff on chocolate, Mike.[3:09:54]   Thank you today.[3:09:55]   My mind is blown.[3:09:56]   Thank you.[3:09:57]   I hope they're being sincere.[3:09:58]   I mean, are other shows giving you anything?[3:10:00]   Tune into these other shows.[3:10:02]   They're not going into nothing.[3:10:04]   Joshua equals Mike's real name.[3:10:07]   Oh, please don't.[3:10:09]   That's really embarrassing.[3:10:10]   Sounds Jewy to me.[3:10:11]   Hey, you know, I hate Jews more than any of you.[3:10:15]   Oh, please.[3:10:17]   Name one Jew I like.[3:10:19]   I can't go to bed with it watching Seinfeld.[3:10:23]   We're in this new thing where we watch two eps of Seinfeld right as the closing hours[3:10:28]   begin.[3:10:29]   What are the closing hours?[3:10:30]   That's where you're closing your eyes, right?[3:10:33]   And yeah, we're in that thing.[3:10:35]   I like to show Jules old Seinfeld.[3:10:37]   I like to mansplain the plots to her.[3:10:40]   I can't imagine she's following along.[3:10:43]   You ever do that?[3:10:44]   You show somebody a movie and it's impossible for you to, to, to understand that they could[3:10:50]   possibly follow along.[3:10:52]   So you mansplain the whole plot as it's happening to me, like he'll be like, Hey, can you change[3:10:57]   the color of the hue bulbs?[3:10:59]   And then I'll pick up my phone to do it.[3:11:01]   And he'll be like, you know how to do that.[3:11:03]   I can't believe when, so we have hue light bulbs in the house and I installed the app[3:11:09]   on her phone.[3:11:11]   And when I see her go into that app and start doing, how does she know how to do this?[3:11:17]   How does she, as a girl, this twerp, how does she know how to work these computerized systems?[3:11:25]   It took me a year to figure out hue.[3:11:28]   It took me a year to figure out that app Sonos, you know how long it took me to figure out[3:11:32]   that app?[3:11:33]   And then she just picks it up on a whim.[3:11:35]   I go, she's going to corrupt my files.[3:11:38]   I get nervous when you're working on one of my apps or something like that, or when[3:11:43]   you're watching a movie that I've seen before, there's no possible way you're following.[3:11:48]   So I have to coach her through the movie that I've seen.[3:11:51]   Have you ever done this?[3:11:52]   When you you're showing somebody a movie that you've already seen and you can't even focus[3:11:57]   on the movie because you're making sure they're paying attention the whole time.[3:12:00]   Are you following this film?[3:12:02]   Whose bid is that?[3:12:03]   Christie Stefano?[3:12:04]   Who am I stealing from there?[3:12:07]   Somebody says twerp.[3:12:08]   Ha ha ha.[3:12:09]   Why is that funny?[3:12:11]   Jules is a tech nerd.[3:12:14]   Girls can read.[3:12:15]   No, I know they can read.[3:12:16]   That's all they do with their damn diaries and shit.[3:12:20]   Writing and reading.[3:12:21]   By the way, God knows break into my house, you'll find so many files on me.[3:12:24]   She's writing all this stuff about me and on paper.[3:12:27]   I can't wait.[3:12:28]   She's got diaries.[3:12:29]   To reveal these files.[3:12:30]   You know what happens when Jules has a sad feeling?[3:12:33]   She writes about it in her deck.[3:12:35]   Girls are doing it.[3:12:36]   No, it's not.[3:12:37]   When do I do this?[3:12:38]   Is there anything about me in your diaries?[3:12:41]   Oh, there's stuff about you in my mind.[3:12:45]   She you know, she's going to get me canceled.[3:12:50]   She's writing that I hit her.[3:12:52]   Jules keeps up on Lou later.[3:12:58]   Mike built the studio in the kitchen so Jules could be on the show.[3:13:02]   What a guy.[3:13:03]   Not funny.[3:13:04]   You bombed.[3:13:05]   I love Mike, but Seinfeld before bed.[3:13:07]   Jesus.[3:13:08]   What are you talking about?[3:13:09]   Millions of people do that.[3:13:12]   This is just a temporary phase, by the way.[3:13:15]   That's something we always do.[3:13:18]   We usually watch Tim Dillon or Rick Glassman before bed.[3:13:21]   We used to only watch Rogan before bed, but that's no longer possible.[3:13:25]   Well, it's impossible to watch Rogan.[3:13:26]   You got to be manning seven laptops to work his ad system here.[3:13:33]   So we watch Ricky Glassman before bed.[3:13:36]   But even that, it keeps us going.[3:13:38]   We like Seinfeld because you could fall asleep to it because you're not missing anything.[3:13:41]   You've seen it so many times.[3:13:43]   Exactly.[3:13:44]   It has a perfect explanation.[3:13:47]   Jules loves Jews.[3:13:49]   You know what I'm realizing?[3:13:51]   And I watch this Seinfeld and I go, Seinfeld has more fans than like any other show in[3:13:57]   the world.[3:13:58]   When I watch Seinfeld, I see a Jew-y, mean-spirited show.[3:14:04]   So I always wonder, what are other people seeing when they watch Seinfeld?[3:14:08]   Do wholesome weirdo Christians, because they like Seinfeld too.[3:14:13]   Jules' parents are wholesome Christian people.[3:14:16]   They watch Seinfeld and they love it.[3:14:18]   And I go, what?[3:14:19]   Do they think it's like a wholesome, funny, nice show?[3:14:22]   When I watch Seinfeld, I'm like, oh, look at these bitter Jews.[3:14:26]   Met one over on each other.[3:14:28]   Look at these mean-spirited Jews, concoct plans.[3:14:33]   So Seinfeld must be one of those shows where it's interpreted, the comedy is interpreted[3:14:37]   differently by different groups of people, because so many different groups of people[3:14:40]   love this show.[3:14:43]   It's like the all-time favorited show in the world.[3:14:47]   There's like seven people that I've met in my whole life that exist in the world that[3:14:52]   don't like or don't get Seinfeld.[3:14:56]   And even like racist, anti-Jew people like Seinfeld, weirdo Christians, safe people,[3:15:04]   what are they getting out of it?[3:15:05]   Do they?[3:15:06]   I'd actually wonder.[3:15:07]   Well, your parents think it's funny.[3:15:08]   But I'm talking about the guys who hate Jews, that there are so many of nowadays, do they[3:15:14]   like Seinfeld?[3:15:15]   I don't know.[3:15:16]   Let's see what the people say.[3:15:17]   Maybe there's a lot of people that don't like it.[3:15:19]   Seinfeld is Jewish propaganda.[3:15:21]   There's a lot of people who hate Jews and you go, what information about the Jews have[3:15:26]   you gotten that we've missed about the Jews?[3:15:31]   What kind of underground info are you hearing about the Jews?[3:15:35]   Oh, Mike, you don't know?[3:15:39]   And then they roll their eyes.[3:15:40]   Oh, yeah, like you don't know?[3:15:43]   The Jews did something to you?[3:15:46]   I can't imagine some like redneck guy.[3:15:49]   How are the Jews holding this redneck guy back?[3:15:52]   Well, they own the world, Mike.[3:15:55]   Do they own your pickup truck?[3:15:57]   Do they own your shitty town?[3:15:58]   Do they own your construction job?[3:16:01]   Just in fact, they do.[3:16:02]   They own the media.[3:16:03]   Wake up.[3:16:04]   Are they making you pick up-y?[3:16:08]   They own the media.[3:16:09]   Okay, who should own the media?[3:16:12]   Would you rather you guys own it?[3:16:14]   Because it'd be all what would you do with the media if you owned it?[3:16:19]   They're doing a pretty good job, I'd say.[3:16:22]   It can't get any better than this.[3:16:26]   What would happen?[3:16:27]   Would you guys like to take over?[3:16:29]   I don't even know what you're interested in.[3:16:32]   Figuring out what screw fits, you know, like what to the opposite of Jews.[3:16:37]   The opposite of Jews.[3:16:38]   This is what I'm thinking.[3:16:40]   You drive a truck, a nice truck.[3:16:42]   There's nothing wrong with it.[3:16:43]   I drive a truck now.[3:16:46]   By the way, I got this Ford F450 parked next to me here outside at this parking lot.[3:16:54]   My Jeep is taller than every truck now, so think about that.[3:17:00]   My Jeep short, and these trucks look bigger in pictures, but my Jeep now with the lift[3:17:07]   kit and the 35s, okay, it's done.[3:17:11]   It rises over almost every truck, so.[3:17:13]   We can barely get in.[3:17:15]   I can barely get in.[3:17:16]   I have to help him like an old senior.[3:17:20]   So what would you guys do?[3:17:21]   Would you like to own the media?[3:17:23]   Who should own it?[3:17:24]   You know, somebody's got to own something.[3:17:26]   That's what I'm saying.[3:17:28]   You hate the Jews because they run the media, okay?[3:17:31]   They're doing a fine job.[3:17:33]   What else do they do?[3:17:34]   What else do they do?[3:17:35]   Well, they, what are they holding you back on?[3:17:38]   Speak up, I'll help you.[3:17:40]   Speak up.[3:17:41]   What are they doing to you?[3:17:42]   Did they make you work at Target?[3:17:44]   Is that why you work at Target and have no money and you're ugly?[3:17:47]   Because of the Jews?[3:17:49]   Well, let's work on that.[3:17:51]   Let's find the Jew who forced you to do this because he must be stopped.[3:17:56]   I'd agree too.[3:17:58]   If I was forced to be as shitty as you, I'd be mad at the Jews too.[3:18:03]   So let's point them out.[3:18:06]   Which Jew has done you wrong?[3:18:10]   Was it me?[3:18:11]   Was it Ricky Glassman?[3:18:13]   Was it Larry David?[3:18:14]   Which Jew?[3:18:15]   Was it Steven Spielberg?[3:18:17]   Did Steven Spielberg make you work at Five Guys and drive a shitty car?[3:18:24]   Let's get them then.[3:18:27]   Speak up.[3:18:32]   There are so many people who actively hate and blame the Jews for things as if this is[3:18:37]   something we all know about.[3:18:39]   You guys got to let me in on what they've done.[3:18:43]   I hate the Jews.[3:18:45]   This isn't defense of the Jews.[3:18:48]   But you guys got to be better.[3:18:49]   When I say, oh, these, imagine if this whole show was just like, guys, comedians, they're[3:18:54]   not good.[3:18:55]   And you're like, got any examples?[3:18:56]   And I said, not really.[3:18:59]   Just that they're horrible.[3:19:01]   No, what do I do?[3:19:02]   I give you eight hours, day in and day out of pinpointing exact examples of what they've[3:19:09]   done, who they are, day in and day out.[3:19:12]   You know how hard it is to convince you to hate people?[3:19:16]   Takes me two years to take a guy to make you hate Theo Vaughn.[3:19:21]   You know how much work I put in to make one guy hate Theo Vaughn?[3:19:23]   Two years.[3:19:25]   And these guys gets to go, Jews, man, Jews are fucking, please.[3:19:30]   We need some examples.[3:19:31]   Anybody out there with me where you don't know what example, you just go, well, I believe[3:19:36]   it too, because there's a lot of people who say that.[3:19:42]   We need some examples here, okay?[3:19:47]   And believe me, these examples, they don't really intertwine, the examples I've heard[3:19:50]   at least, they don't have anything to do with you.[3:19:55]   You know what I mean?[3:19:56]   It's very bizarre.[3:19:57]   There's no connection to you at all.[3:20:00]   So I want to know what's so bad about your life that a Jew has made it like that and[3:20:07]   you're fucked because of a Jew.[3:20:10]   You know, because you're putting my ancestors through a lot of pain.[3:20:15]   You know, I had a conversation with some Jewish people the other day, they're going through[3:20:18]   a lot of pain.[3:20:21]   Bankers but all banks, see people just have these catch-alls, they don't really have an[3:20:24]   example here.[3:20:25]   Oh, the bankers.[3:20:27]   What have the bankers done to you?[3:20:32]   How are you being held back by the, I'm not saying you're not, please do not twist this[3:20:38]   into, oh, he's denying.[3:20:40]   No, no, no, I'm asking what have they done?[3:20:44]   And Chris asks, oh, really dude?[3:20:49]   Come to New York, you will hate all Jews.[3:20:51]   Yeah, that's an example, power Jews.[3:20:54]   You go to New York, you got a Jew in a convertible with one of those fucking yarmulkes on.[3:20:59]   Yes, I hate him.[3:21:01]   And I could tell you why I hate him.[3:21:02]   Why do I hate the yarmulke wearing power Jew in the convertible in New York City?[3:21:06]   I'll tell you why.[3:21:08]   He looks gay.[3:21:12]   He looks Jewy.[3:21:15]   So that I would take.[3:21:16]   If I ask people why do they hate Jews and you said, I just don't like them, they're[3:21:20]   so like Jewy and gay and like, because that's why I hate them.[3:21:25]   If you go, Mike, why do you hate Rick Glassman-style Jews, I would go, they're just like faggoty[3:21:32]   and I can't explain it.[3:21:33]   I just don't like them.[3:21:35]   I hate them.[3:21:36]   I want them to die because of how they act.[3:21:39]   Can't you say that or you don't have the guts?[3:21:43]   You go, oh no, trust me, Mike, the banking system.[3:21:47]   Is the banking system why you make $40,000?[3:21:50]   Is that why?[3:21:52]   I mean, I don't understand.[3:21:55]   Did the bankers come down and lower your skill level as a human being throughout your existence?[3:22:03]   Did they come to your town once?[3:22:04]   Did the bankers come to your school and go, I hereby deem you all less intelligent and[3:22:13]   you will all work at gas stations?[3:22:15]   No, you live in these towns.[3:22:16]   I've been to your towns, I live in your town.[3:22:19]   You have a shitty gas station here that doesn't even have 93, okay?[3:22:23]   Your highest octane is 87.[3:22:25]   You sit there, everything's broken down, it's a shithole.[3:22:28]   And then your best restaurant is horrible.[3:22:32]   You're serving worse food than eighth grade lunch.[3:22:36]   And then you're sitting around blaming Jewish people.[3:22:39]   I mean, get it together.[3:22:41]   Start building up a community here.[3:22:43]   The Jews wanted some good food.[3:22:46]   They got it together.[3:22:48]   Love that food.[3:22:49]   I think you guys are acting like a little victimy, a little snowflakey, a little victimy[3:22:54]   there.[3:22:55]   You know, I just can't see it.[3:22:56]   And you all love what the Jews have brought to your television here.[3:23:01]   Seinfeld, curb your enthusiasm.[3:23:03]   You love DT.[3:23:06]   When it came out, you all loved DT.[3:23:09]   You rednecks loved DT when it came out.[3:23:11]   You didn't know anything about Jew during ET.[3:23:17]   So we need some examples.[3:23:18]   We need some...[3:23:19]   Yeah, fucking busted.[3:23:20]   We need some examples, okay?[3:23:26]   And they produced some good people here.[3:23:30]   You love Jews.[3:23:31]   All right, we're gonna get back into these people, okay?[3:23:35]   I'd understand the blacks.[3:23:36]   You go to a black community, it's fucking disgusting.[3:23:39]   They don't even have restaurants, and the black community doesn't even have restaurants.[3:23:42]   Yes, they do.[3:23:43]   What?[3:23:44]   Mickey D's?[3:23:45]   Haven't you ever watched Chicago's food show that's on YouTube with a creepy little guy?[3:23:50]   Here's what black people are able to contribute to society, ribs.[3:23:54]   And they're the worst ribs.[3:23:55]   Those are your favorite foods.[3:23:56]   By the way, black barbecue is 40 times worse than white hipster barbecue.[3:24:01]   It just is.[3:24:03]   Everything blacks do is...[3:24:06]   But you know what?[3:24:08]   They get a lot more credit than the Jews these days.[3:24:11]   All right, let's hear Bill Burr's mushroom trip.[3:24:14]   Speaking of black people, he actually hates his wife because of the color of her skin.[3:24:19]   We're gonna hear this for the first time.[3:24:22]   He hates his wife.[3:24:24]   And I...[3:24:25]   Listen, my dad told me early on, live and let live, he said.[3:24:29]   I like people of all colors.[3:24:31]   I even like...[3:24:32]   I'll tell you this, you're not gonna believe it.[3:24:35]   I even like some Indians.[3:24:43]   Wow, you've really grown.[3:24:44]   Yeah.[3:24:45]   They are like...[3:24:47]   You know who I like as an Indian that I'd hang out around with?[3:24:50]   Who's that storyteller?[3:24:52]   He does horror movies here.[3:24:55]   M. Night Shyamalan.[3:24:56]   I'd hang out with him.[3:24:58]   How could I hate Indians?[3:25:00]   He hates black people.[3:25:02]   Listen to this, you're gonna die.[3:25:04]   This is really happening here.[3:25:05]   We're gonna finally hear about Bill Burr's black wife.[3:25:08]   Listen to this.[3:25:09]   So, you know, at first it starts feeling like a pot cookie, like, all right, I've been here[3:25:14]   before.[3:25:15]   He's had trumps.[3:25:16]   And then it just kind of keeps going, like passes the pot house, like, oh shit, we're[3:25:19]   still going down the road.[3:25:22]   Somebody says Mike's dad equals Judd Hirsch.[3:25:25]   No, my dad.[3:25:28]   It's not like that, right?[3:25:30]   Or what do you think?[3:25:32]   You think my dad's one of them?[3:25:35]   Really?[3:25:37]   You think he's Hershian?[3:25:39]   Wow.[3:25:41]   Whew, my dad looks nothing like Judd Hirsch.[3:25:47]   Wait, I have to look up who that is.[3:25:51]   Yeah, look up Judd Hirsch.[3:25:52]   I mean, the guy's got, like, sideburns.[3:25:56]   Mike's mother has a red dot on her forehead.[3:25:59]   This is disgusting.[3:26:00]   Listen, I'm with you guys.[3:26:01]   I want it to be white America.[3:26:04]   Get rid of all these other kooks.[3:26:06]   Mike, you look more Indian than M. Night Shyamalan.[3:26:11]   That's true.[3:26:12]   Oh, it's true now.[3:26:13]   I hope that's not fucking true, seriously.[3:26:17]   I'll kill myself after the show if that's true.[3:26:20]   There's a couple of Judd Hirsch pics that kind of look your dad like.[3:26:23]   Oh my God.[3:26:25]   He looks great though.[3:26:27]   I remember the first time I heard the name Judd Hirsch, I was a kid.[3:26:32]   And there was a TV show on, and they go, and now Judd Hirsch.[3:26:35]   I go, this is what I said to my family, I go, Judd Hirsch?[3:26:42]   Like I couldn't believe how fucking sickening that name was, first of all.[3:26:46]   And then I saw him, and I was equally sickened by his looks.[3:26:50]   So I'm appalled right now.[3:26:53]   Can people view me?[3:26:54]   I assume you guys think I'm like the same nationality as Baked Alaska, Milo.[3:27:02]   I had no idea.[3:27:03]   Stop trying to cover it up.[3:27:04]   You're Jewish.[3:27:05]   You're Indian.[3:27:06]   You're probably part black.[3:27:07]   Do Jews and Indians even mix?[3:27:09]   Is there an Indian Jew out there?[3:27:11]   I'm looking at them.[3:27:13]   All right.[3:27:15]   Little ganged up.[3:27:16]   I feel a little ganged up here, but I will, you know, my vengeance always works out.[3:27:21]   I will become vindictive over this.[3:27:23]   I will get back at people.[3:27:24]   There'll be a revenge.[3:27:26]   That's not funny.[3:27:27]   Laugh it up now.[3:27:28]   You'll be paying for it in the future.[3:27:31]   We got to whiten me up, man.[3:27:33]   This hair can't turn pure.[3:27:35]   Now when my hair goes pure white, will that knock some of this Hirsch off me?[3:27:40]   I don't know.[3:27:41]   I guess we'll see.[3:27:42]   I think the white eyebrows will help.[3:27:43]   The white beard, the white hair, I think will Greeken me up.[3:27:49]   Maybe I'll get a tan.[3:27:50]   I can't even tan.[3:27:51]   You know what happens when I turn tan?[3:27:52]   I get browner.[3:27:55]   I like those guys.[3:27:57]   They get sunburnt.[3:27:59]   I like when a guy goes out, you could tell he's been out all day because he's got red[3:28:03]   here and red here.[3:28:05]   When I go out and get tan, my whole face just darkens one shade of shit yellow brown.[3:28:11]   And I start looking more ooga booga.[3:28:14]   I fucking hate it.[3:28:15]   Someone says if I...[3:28:16]   No, you don't.[3:28:17]   Go ahead.[3:28:18]   If I saw Mike on the street, I would assume he's Italian, Jewish, or Arabic.[3:28:22]   That's fucking terrible.[3:28:23]   I mean, really, it's really...[3:28:25]   I mean, imagine if somebody said that about you, how you'd feel.[3:28:27]   Well, what do you want to look like?[3:28:29]   I want people to look at me and they go, that's what an American should be.[3:28:35]   He's not part of any shit race that everyone hates.[3:28:40]   What kind of compliment is it?[3:28:41]   Oh, you look like the three races we wish were dead.[3:28:45]   What kind of thing is that to say to somebody here?[3:28:48]   Keep it to yourself.[3:28:49]   That's like the worst thing you could say.[3:28:50]   Oh, you know what you look like?[3:28:51]   The three races that we'd spit on if it were legal, because believe me, white people fucking[3:28:56]   hate other races.[3:28:57]   It's just the bottom line.[3:28:58]   All right, listen to this.[3:29:00]   This is about him.[3:29:01]   This is about him.[3:29:04]   And then, you know, the TV starts looking like it's getting bigger and then all of a[3:29:08]   sudden it kind of looks like maybe it's going to fall on me, but I'm just sort of enjoying[3:29:12]   it going like, well, I know that's not happening.[3:29:14]   That's bolted into the fucking wall and that's a TV.[3:29:17]   TVs don't grow.[3:29:18]   You're able to keep it like, you know.[3:29:19]   Yeah, yeah, yeah.[3:29:21]   Shut up.[3:29:22]   And somebody else there was like, Jesus Christ, Bill, just go with it.[3:29:26]   It's like, well, I don't want to start freaking out.[3:29:29]   I got to remind myself a toilet can't breathe.[3:29:31]   I'm sorry.[3:29:32]   I got to remind myself a toilet can't breathe.[3:29:35]   Wait, he's faking the trip?[3:29:38]   I believe the toilet breathing I can see.[3:29:43]   Which part?[3:29:44]   I don't believe the TV got bigger, though.[3:29:46]   I just don't.[3:29:47]   But when he said the toilet breathe, you went, ugh.[3:29:49]   No, I didn't.[3:29:50]   Yeah, you did.[3:29:51]   That's why I paused.[3:29:52]   I thought you had something to say.[3:29:53]   Oh, I was going, I can't breathe because of I can't breathe.[3:29:55]   Oh, really?[3:29:56]   OK.[3:29:57]   The toilet breathing.[3:29:58]   Sorry.[3:29:59]   No, no, no.[3:30:00]   I've been on shrooms.[3:30:01]   You know what the toilet looks like to me?[3:30:02]   A shithole.[3:30:03]   I fucking hate toilets.[3:30:05]   How many men are going to dump their crap into those bowls?[3:30:08]   I got to remind myself a toilet can't breathe.[3:30:11]   I'm sorry.[3:30:12]   I got to remind myself a toilet can't breathe.[3:30:14]   No, because I wanted to take a leak and the toilet was going, was kind of doing this a[3:30:18]   little bit.[3:30:20]   Just a little bit.[3:30:21]   You know what doesn't do that?[3:30:23]   Your wife's mouth.[3:30:24]   Why didn't you piss into that?[3:30:26]   Imagine filling that wife's mouth up with a nice hot.[3:30:34]   You know, Jules, actually, I swear to God, I was in so much pain the other night that[3:30:38]   I didn't want to get out of bed.[3:30:40]   I wake up about five times a night having to piss.[3:30:43]   I don't drink any water before I go to bed.[3:30:46]   Actually three to five times a night, I have to go to the bathroom so bad I wake up having[3:30:51]   to pee.[3:30:52]   I go to the bathroom and I sit there against the wall like this and have you ever had to[3:30:57]   pee where you don't want to pee and you're going, hurry the fuck up and you can't and[3:31:02]   you're counting to time it out and you're going, one, two, three, and it's going on[3:31:08]   like 70 seconds and you're going, hurry the fuck.[3:31:14]   It's so annoying.[3:31:15]   Jules actually said to me, I had to pee the other night and she offered me a cup and she[3:31:21]   was serious.[3:31:22]   She said, do you want to pee into the cup?[3:31:25]   And I go, we're not peeing in the cups at this family.[3:31:28]   Not at this stage, not at this stage, but really anybody else out there, this all of[3:31:34]   a sudden happened to me.[3:31:37]   It's at least three times a night where I wake up having to violently pee so much so[3:31:45]   that I can't sleep and it's so much fucking piss and it's like the most annoying.[3:31:52]   I do this show for eight hours.[3:31:53]   I go to the bathroom maybe once top.[3:31:56]   Sometimes I don't go to the bathroom at all during this show while I drink, drink, drink,[3:32:02]   but in bedtime.[3:32:07]   Anybody else?[3:32:08]   Um, Mike, you need a piss pot, a cup.[3:32:13]   I need a bowl.[3:32:14]   Yeah, I would need a bowl.[3:32:15]   People think you could just pee in a cup.[3:32:16]   I'd fill that sucker up within 10 seconds and then it would overflow onto you and you'd[3:32:22]   be covered in my yellow, you'd be covered in my liquid gold.[3:32:29]   So then, um, I got about two hours into it and I was just like, all right, cool.[3:32:36]   I need to go lay down.[3:32:38]   So I go lay down, listen to this.[3:32:41]   And I felt this, uh, I told this on my podcast, I felt this profound sense of loneliness and[3:32:49]   not feeling loved in this depressive thing.[3:32:57]   So he's on mushrooms.[3:32:58]   He looks at his wife, he feels a sense of lonely.[3:33:01]   I haven't felt lonely since the sixties.[3:33:06]   He's feeling lonely and depressed.[3:33:08]   The million dollar man, the two kids, sister, sister, Michelle Obama.[3:33:14]   He's got it all, but he feels lonely and depressed of loneliness and not feeling loved in this[3:33:25]   depressive thing.[3:33:29]   So now I'm in my head going, what the fuck is this?[3:33:31]   This gets worse.[3:33:32]   And I'm looking at my wife going like, did I marry the person right?[3:33:36]   I'm looking at my wife going, did I marry the wrong person?[3:33:41]   This is not a normal thought.[3:33:43]   I've never looked at Jules and thought anything but damn nigga, you a nigga, you a fine ass[3:33:51]   roach.[3:33:54]   Just kidding.[3:33:55]   Do you think I think these thoughts, do you ever look at me and go, did I marry the right[3:33:58]   guy?[3:33:59]   No, I don't.[3:34:01]   You don't.[3:34:02]   I'm obsessed with you.[3:34:03]   Every day I ask Jules, I go, what are you doing?[3:34:05]   Maybe I thought that when you fainted.[3:34:07]   Yeah.[3:34:08]   So he looks at his black wife and he goes, did I marry the right?[3:34:12]   The answer is no.[3:34:13]   I'll tell you that right now.[3:34:16]   You know, you married definitely the wrong, but not cause the color of her skin.[3:34:20]   It's the whole shebang.[3:34:21]   The whole presentation is off thing.[3:34:26]   So now I'm in my head going, what the fuck is this?[3:34:28]   And I'm looking at my wife going like, did I marry the wrong person?[3:34:32]   Right.[3:34:33]   And I'm like, no, and then, so then what I did was like, all right, let me think about[3:34:36]   something that I know I love and I know loves back, you know, not like I don't know why[3:34:40]   I love my wife, but you don't marry any given day.[3:34:43]   It's like, you know, like you're the best thing that ever happened to me.[3:34:46]   Like next day, I'm fucking out of here.[3:34:47]   Right.[3:34:48]   That's marriage.[3:34:49]   Right.[3:34:50]   So I go, let me think, let me think about my kid.[3:34:52]   So I think about my kids and I still felt the same thing.[3:34:56]   And I'm going like, okay, so this isn't that.[3:34:59]   And I realized, cause I had gone, I I'm going to therapy again.[3:35:04]   All of this shit that I was running from, this is the feeling I had growing up.[3:35:08]   And this stuff is like coming out of my pores now.[3:35:12]   So it wasn't a bad thing.[3:35:14]   So I just had to sort of sit in it and realize that that's what this is.[3:35:21]   And I don't know, like the next day I was all clear.[3:35:26]   I was just like, wow, man, I really like, and I was still, I, I, through the rest of[3:35:30]   the trip, I was like, man, I just slept, walked through my thirties and forties, just trying[3:35:36]   to achieve shit because of the way I felt when I was a kid, the, what I did to fix that.[3:35:43]   Okay.[3:35:44]   You're trailing, doing shit, you're trailing.[3:35:47]   All I got out of this was you don't like that wife.[3:35:49]   Nobody does.[3:35:50]   How could you, the real bill Burr, everybody, how nice is that?[3:35:55]   Huh?[3:35:56]   You're fine.[3:35:57]   This will be a divorce.[3:35:58]   It'll be a bloodbath.[3:35:59]   I can tell you that right now.[3:36:01]   I see it coming.[3:36:03]   How interesting.[3:36:04]   It's what we always thought.[3:36:05]   George, what do you think?[3:36:07]   I can't breathe.[3:36:09]   Yes you can.[3:36:10]   I'm kidding.[3:36:11]   I can breathe.[3:36:12]   Someone already made you some beautiful tiki art.[3:36:14]   Let's see it.[3:36:15]   Bring it in.[3:36:16]   Let's see this tiki art here.[3:36:17]   I love this, man.[3:36:18]   Thank you guys for making this art for me.[3:36:19]   And you know what?[3:36:20]   You should check the BBG during the show.[3:36:22]   We always get some very funny, like during the show, we always get some very funny[3:36:26]   photoshops and they'd be great to show at the end of the show.[3:36:30]   They're not very good for the next week.[3:36:33]   So this is a good time to, Oh my God, look at this.[3:36:36]   This is amazing.[3:36:37]   Thank you.[3:36:38]   This is from James O'Keefe.[3:36:39]   If somebody could model this for me, I love that guy.[3:36:43]   Look at that.[3:36:44]   And that again, it's not much different from what I have here, right?[3:36:48]   Not much different here.[3:36:51]   Look at that.[3:36:52]   I mean, but how nice somebody's gotta be able to carve this.[3:36:56]   It's a shame you drove clay former to suicide guys, cause he could carve it for me.[3:37:01]   And I want wood.[3:37:02]   I don't want this ceramic nonsense, this lacquered ceramic nonsense.[3:37:06]   Okay.[3:37:07]   Cheers everybody.[3:37:09]   Let's get our red bar on.[3:37:11]   Oh, you got to remind me to fill up these waters here.[3:37:20]   Hey look at me.[3:37:21]   Philip DeFranco, cause I'm filling up some water right now.[3:37:25]   Imagine being his lonely ass, huh?[3:37:27]   He's depressed.[3:37:28]   In a loveless marriage and all that shit.[3:37:31]   He's going through a hard time.[3:37:33]   Okay.[3:37:34]   Um, thank you for this, uh, this, uh, little George Floyd there.[3:37:39]   That's really, really cool.[3:37:40]   Now can somebody again, whittle that?[3:37:43]   How do I get out of this?[3:37:45]   I'm stuck in a hell here.[3:37:46]   Okay.[3:37:47]   Hold on.[3:37:48]   Very, very cool.[3:37:49]   Thank you.[3:37:51]   James O'Keeffe everybody.[3:37:53]   Thank you so much.[3:37:54]   That guy's a great artist.[3:37:56]   Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,[3:38:04]   whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,[3:38:05]   whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,[3:38:06]   whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,[3:38:07]   where in the show.[3:38:08]   Well, that's okay.[3:38:10]   Just leave it.[3:38:11]   Just leave it.[3:38:12]   Here we are folks.[3:38:21]   Let's try this.[3:38:22]   Thank you for listening to Redbark.[3:38:23]   In my eyes, indisposed In disguise that no one knows[3:38:39]   Hides a face, lies a snake And the sun in my disgrace[3:38:49]   Boiling heat, summer stench Neat the black, the sky looks down[3:39:03]   You know, this is really, um, are you kidding me here with all this plug-in shit? Like why is this[3:39:14]   dying? Why is it going out? What kind of batteries does this take?[3:39:18]   Why does it even have batteries? I know, you know, these products here.[3:39:23]   Um, test one, two, three. I mean, is any of this even working anymore here?[3:39:29]   Test one, I'm not even hearing anything. How is this possible?[3:39:34]   I don't know what to do. I don't even have enough batteries to figure this out.[3:39:41]   Is this unbelievable here? I mean, I spent like a thousand dollars on all this fucking shit.[3:39:47]   It was all working. All right. We'll do it the old way. We'll do it the old way.[3:39:52]   Okay. We'll do it the old way. Test one, two, three. Okay. Hit the lights. This sucks. Hit it.[3:40:06]   I think I gotta sing these fucking songs for people. I don't even like this song.[3:40:12]   Get that smoke. I want to be smoked out, at least.[3:40:17]   In my eyes, indisposed, in disguises no one knows. Hides a face, lies a snake and a[3:40:34]   shot in my disgrace. Boiling heat, summer's dense. Neat the plaque, the sky looks dead.[3:40:47]   Call my name through the cream and I'll hear you scream again.[3:40:58]   Black hole sun, won't you come and wash away the rain. Black hole sun, won't you come,[3:41:12]   won't you come, won't you come. Stuttering, cold and damp.[3:41:24]   Steal the war with tired friend. Times are gone for reddish men. Sometimes far too long for snakes.[3:41:38]   In my shoes, walking sleep. In my youth I pray to keep. Heaven sent hell away.[3:41:51]   No one sings like you anymore. Black hole sun, won't you come and wash away the rain.[3:42:07]   Black hole sun, won't you come, won't you come. Black hole sun, won't you come and wash away the rain.[3:42:25]   Black hole sun, won't you come, won't you come. Black hole sun, won't you come.[3:42:38]   Black hole sun, won't you come, won't you come. Black hole sun, won't you come.[3:42:54]   Black hole sun, won't you come.[3:43:08]   All right, this is getting really...[3:43:17]   Okay, yes! Oh my god, red bar is really jumping the shark. I think it's getting too kooky,[3:43:25]   too kooky around here, right? Okay.[3:43:29]   Oh, pretty cool, huh? All right, enough with the gags, enough with these performances.[3:43:41]   Hey, we're learning our lessons slowly but surely. Okay, nothing. And I mean, I set this shit up all[3:43:48]   week. What do you think? I'm extending show after show after show. I'm extending all this equipment[3:43:53]   here. It's like beyond my pay grade, I guess. I can't figure out how to work any. It's always[3:43:58]   dying. What does this shit take? You know, this microphone here, I got this, Justin Bieber is[3:44:04]   using this, Rihanna is using this microphone. It takes, I can't even believe this. It's like $986[3:44:13]   for this microphone. It takes two AA batteries. So I got the damn thing. I don't read instruction[3:44:20]   booklets at all. I get things and I press every button. I figure out how to make it work.[3:44:26]   So I get the thing, I put the batteries in. I go, great. I set all this shit up.[3:44:30]   I put the mic off what I thought was off and I put it down. I come back the next day. The batteries[3:44:36]   are dead. So I'm going, what the hell is going on here? Batteries are dead. I turned everything up.[3:44:42]   I changed the batteries. I go to go puff. I buy these energizer 1079 for four AA's.[3:44:48]   They're probably fake batteries. Hold on. I put in new batteries.[3:44:52]   Okay. Energizer 1079. These are energizer ultimates. You've never seen anything like it.[3:44:57]   They got like a ribbed texture to them. They really look powerful. I put them in[3:45:03]   last night before the show. Today I come in, I do it. I start testing, testing, testing.[3:45:08]   I see the battery meter is flicking. It's got one battery cell life and then it dies. I go,[3:45:14]   what the fuck is going on? Then I realize I've just been muting the mic because I didn't read[3:45:20]   any instructions. You've got to turn the mic off here with the power. Probably same with this.[3:45:25]   I've just been leaving it on. It's all battery operated. I don't know. You should return it.[3:45:31]   This is thousands of dollars worth of stuff. Sounds like crap. Looks like crap. I mean,[3:45:38]   really it blew the whole, I have so many effects I wanted to do today and I'm out of batteries here.[3:45:44]   Batteries here. Why does anything use? Give me a, I'd rather have a plug, you know,[3:45:51]   wrapped around my fucking neck while I'm on stage than to use a battery operated thing that I'm[3:45:56]   worrying about during my performance. The battery is going to last. You know, this show is really,[3:46:02]   I don't know if there's going to be much more or red bar. This is really coming to a close. I'm[3:46:06]   just kidding. This is really fun. I hope you're still having a good, it's fun to watch it not[3:46:09]   work, right? We're going to figure it out. This is still just the rehearsal. This is still the[3:46:15]   rehearsal. Wait till you see what I got planned next week. If I'm not over complicating it,[3:46:19]   I've got foot pedals everywhere now that I'm doing. The only thing I'm missing is a monkey[3:46:25]   and a crank. Wait till you see what I'm adding next week. I'll give you a, I'll give you,[3:46:32]   hold on, wait. I'm going to give you a tease of what I'm adding next week.[3:46:41]   You're not going to believe this.[3:46:46]   Oh shit. Look at me. I'm really losing my edge.[3:46:52]   Wait till you see what, I'm not going to tell you what this does.[3:46:55]   This will be added to the show next week. Once the second part of it gets it. Does anyone know[3:47:02]   what this is? Does this look like it should be for home use? I don't know. Look at this.[3:47:10]   I'll tell you this. It says, remember to turn the screen back on. Oh my. Oh, it's not on.[3:47:14]   God damn it. Jules. I'm sorry. I just noticed. All right. So I'll show you what I grabbed here.[3:47:20]   Nobody can even see. This is what I'm adding to the show next week. Okay. We're waiting for a[3:47:26]   piece. I already did the audio. Does this look safe for home use? And you're going,[3:47:32]   Mike, what is this piece of equipment going to do? Where did you find this? What kind of Indian[3:47:38]   eBay listing did you get this from? I'll tell you, there are warnings all over the thing.[3:47:44]   Caution, only use outside. It says everywhere in white letters,[3:47:52]   but this will be added to the show next week. Okay. And just wait till you see what this does.[3:48:03]   I mean, if you looked right, you got to reangle that light fell off too. Got a lot of problems.[3:48:08]   This is true. You know what's happening here? I'm, it's true. It's true. It's true. It's true.[3:48:14]   This is too much equipment to operate as one person. And if you think Jules is helping think[3:48:19]   again, she don't even know how to turn on a light. So yes, this giant thing will be coming to the[3:48:26]   next show. It is not lasers. That's good. That's good. And again, warning signs everywhere. Do not[3:48:34]   use, there's just one more piece that's coming that I thought was going to be delivered by today.[3:48:40]   I pushed the show back one day cause I thought we're going to have this ready. I will give you[3:48:45]   a clue. I will give you a clue. The word fireworks is written on this device. Fireworks. So, okay.[3:49:05]   Industry level stuff. Is it a lighting machine? Look at what somebody says.[3:49:12]   Is it a light lightning machine? Close. Maybe not. Okay. So you guys are going to be in for[3:49:20]   a hell of a show. This is going to be as I saw somebody post like a picture of a what's that[3:49:25]   EDM concert you go to every year in Europe. This is going to be remember on the last show,[3:49:32]   somebody said, this is a real venue. I love that comment. Wait till you see this is going to be[3:49:38]   like tomorrow land. Very unsafe, very dangerous. All right. What do we got next? Jules.[3:49:45]   Fuck yeah. Let's do. We are so early into the show. We got so much to do here still today.[3:49:51]   Should we hear an update from Bauer? Yes. Michael Ray Bauer is back and it's the same update as[3:49:58]   oh, you know, we follow this guy. He played there's confetti everywhere. He plays a donkey[3:50:04]   lips on this show. Salute your shorts. Big fat fucking guy. We've been following him since what?[3:50:09]   2005. We're like the Michael Ray Bauer experts. This donkey lips guy. Pull up that video. Let's[3:50:16]   see what he's up to here today. Um, and it's the same old story. Every time we get an update for[3:50:21]   him, it's I'm starting to work out. I am very depressed. I am going through very every time,[3:50:30]   every eight months. It's the same old story. Will he say anything different this time?[3:50:37]   Remember child actor. Ooh. You know, you said when you saw this, Jules, you said,[3:50:44]   I think he looks good. I think he looks good. He's dressing up. No, I think this is like,[3:50:50]   it looks bad. Okay. I think this looks bad. I think he really looks. Look at this. Look[3:50:56]   at my shot glass here. This is a mess. It's a, it's a tropical mess.[3:51:03]   We're not doing this again. This is punishment for trying to be too funny.[3:51:09]   Wait till you see Michael Ray Bauer. He doesn't, this to me doesn't look good.[3:51:14]   You know, he's dyed his goatee. He's dyed his hair. He's got the gel in the hair,[3:51:20]   but you know what's interesting about him? I mean, this was a guy, we sentenced him to a 400[3:51:24]   square foot motel apartment. Remember that? It's a motel that they rehabbed in LA. You know,[3:51:33]   old school motel, two level motel. That's what he lives in. 400 square feet, one room, no kitchen.[3:51:42]   Yeah. Well that's what you're going to get when you live in a motel. They didn't have kitchens,[3:51:46]   but in LA real estate is so scarce. They said these actors need a place to live. Let's[3:51:53]   update the motel and turn it into living spaces here. No kitchen, no kitchen. And he won't accept[3:52:00]   my offerings of a Cuisinart and instant pods and all this stuff to get him a Casari.[3:52:06]   So let's see what he's up to today. This doesn't look good.[3:52:12]   And it's kind of the same old Bauer. It's kind of the same old, I'm a child actor. I thought I was[3:52:19]   going to be an actor my whole life. Don't I deserve to be an actor my whole life? Well,[3:52:25]   I don't know. Let's see. We haven't heard from him in a while. He's wearing a beautiful blue shirt.[3:52:31]   I think the manager at Best Buy has this same shirt. About 15 years ago, the manager of Best[3:52:36]   Buy would walk around. You know he's the leader because he had the collared shirt.[3:52:42]   Pretty fucking cool, huh? All right, let's hear from Bauer.[3:52:46]   What's going on there my good buddies? Long time no see. Long time no video from me.[3:52:53]   Long time no toilet tacos. But it's okay. I just wanted to make this video and let you guys know[3:53:00]   that I'm actually doing pretty good. I've been working on my health as best as possible.[3:53:06]   Every time he does an update, it's few and far between, but every time he does an update,[3:53:11]   he starts out with, I'm working on my health. I'm really on a health. No, you're not. You're[3:53:17]   as fat as ever. In fact, you're the fattest guy I've ever fucking seen still. Please, please,[3:53:26]   please, please. Yes. You're still the fattest guy I've ever fucking seen.[3:53:33]   When you really start looking at him, I'm watching these videos. I was watching this in bed last[3:53:38]   night. I go, you're the fattest fucking, you have the fattest head out of any guy that I've ever[3:53:44]   viewed. That's got to count for something. You're so, there's people who way more certainly,[3:53:53]   is there anyone fatter looking than Michael Ray Bauer? I mean, at some point you got to go,[3:53:59]   I'm too fat looking and he's working on his health. His health is good. Oh yeah.[3:54:06]   My mental health, just relaxing and trying to come through the darkness that was COVID,[3:54:14]   the years before and everything that happened before it. And[3:54:21]   we all have our own barriers and struggles and we all get through it in a different way.[3:54:29]   I disappear a lot. He disappears.[3:54:33]   So that's my M.O. But I just wanted to let everybody know that you're not alone.[3:54:41]   It's going to get better. It's just going to be different.[3:54:46]   But that being said, I'm at a much better place. No, you're not.[3:54:51]   For the most part right now, I do live in a world of cycles, meaning, you know,[3:54:57]   certain times you're good, certain times you're bad, but you just got to when you have the good[3:55:02]   times and the good feelings and the good health or whatever it is, you just got to live it up,[3:55:08]   be productive and creative as as best as possible. And then when you have the downtime,[3:55:14]   somebody's got to tell him you're not doing yourself any favors by cutting off the beard[3:55:19]   at the chin. If he grew all this beard material, it would cover the double chin.[3:55:25]   Try a long beard once in a while. Exactly. Well, that's what I mean. All that. He's shaving[3:55:29]   all this part. So many guys shave this. See all this that I got here? You keep that.[3:55:39]   You're supposed to. People don't know there's no like beard trimming school. There's no beard[3:55:44]   lessons. So people think you're supposed to cut it off at the jaw. That actually makes you look[3:55:50]   psychotic. It makes you look terrible. Don't feel bashful. You grow it under here and then you trim[3:55:57]   where it stops growing full. That's how you know where to trim, where it starts thinning out.[3:56:03]   It starts getting scrap. That's how you know. But all these guys who manicure and they chop[3:56:09]   and crop, it's not doing you any. I mean, you look much more brutal when you do that. This is[3:56:17]   brutality. Those are state lines, my friend. That's map shit. And that's going to get you in[3:56:26]   trouble. OK, take it from me. Maybe I should start a beard class, you know, like a comedy class.[3:56:32]   It's a course about beards and what you should. I'm not saying I have the best beard,[3:56:38]   but, you know, you have some rules. I have some beard common sense. Yeah, you're right.[3:56:44]   You know, sometimes you just got to disappear, watch movies and[3:56:50]   not get over it. You know what I'm saying? And by the way, this is to scale. This is[3:56:55]   how large he is. This is subtly larger than a regular human. I mean, look at this.[3:57:01]   Hey, Michael, how are you? This is what it would be like if me and him I'm not short. I'm six two.[3:57:09]   This is what it would be like if me and him were out at dinner.[3:57:12]   Hey, Michael, how are you doing here today?[3:57:16]   How are you? You mind if I get up here? Can I sit up here?[3:57:20]   What if I was able to jump and sit on there and we set up a little invisible shelf here[3:57:27]   that I could actually jump on and sit on? That would change the podcast game.[3:57:33]   I'm sure it would run out of batteries. This is to scale. All right. He's that size.[3:57:42]   That's it. When do you go from human to hell? Your categories? You're a human at a certain[3:57:49]   level. Then you're turning a hill. Yeah, I'm not going to say mountain. I live in a place[3:57:55]   where you watch hills trying to be mountains. It's so pathetic. I hate hills. When you live[3:58:00]   in a place that has mountains everywhere, you hate hills. All right. A hill is a dirt pile.[3:58:06]   It's embarrassing. I don't want a hill in my eyeline. When you live around mountains,[3:58:10]   you see these beautiful mountains everywhere. Then you see a hill, you go get the fuck out of[3:58:14]   here with your hillbilly fucking poor ass hill, right? Don't you hate hills too? I'm a mountain[3:58:20]   guy. I'm a mountain. I hate a hill. He's a hill. He's huge compared to people, but he's a hill.[3:58:29]   More importantly, to the true people out there that really enjoy me, enjoy my content,[3:58:35]   or just enjoy me as a human being, or have good nostalgic feelings about me,[3:58:41]   I want to say thank you. Your positivity and your love and your support throughout the years[3:58:48]   has, let's be honest, kept me alive. And just recently with-[3:58:52]   If you breastfeed him, do you get a caffeine boost that you could game with?[3:58:58]   I feel like if I breastfed with him, I'd be wired. I'd be like so good at Fortnite, right?[3:59:06]   I do the do. G fuel.[3:59:08]   G fuel comes out of his fucking nips. All right, we have some certain time codes here.[3:59:12]   You can go to 2.30. He has a new cause.[3:59:15]   2.30, my parents. That was my old curfew, 2.30 PM.[3:59:20]   I find Michael Ray Bower inspiring. If he can get it together and keep living, anyone can.[3:59:27]   Yeah. Well, here's the inspiring part. Michael Ray Bower has been living in a 400 square foot[3:59:33]   prison cell for two years now, and he's fine. So I don't want to hear anyone complain.[3:59:38]   Exactly.[3:59:39]   Guys, 900 pounds, he takes up 25% of his own living space.[3:59:44]   He's doing great despite that. So we should all look up to him.[3:59:47]   Well, I don't know. Look at him. He doesn't look like he's doing great.[3:59:50]   He actually looks like one of the worst fish in the ocean.[3:59:53]   He's still posting.[3:59:55]   You know how when you go to the aquarium and you see a fish and you go, that's a fish?[4:00:00]   two. That's an ugly motherfucker. That's what he looks like. He looks like one of those[4:00:08]   psychotically ugly fish that you see only in an exotic aquarium. All right, let's hear some more.[4:00:17]   Brought me back to this place and I've actually been reconnecting with a few[4:00:22]   people that I haven't seen in years. I just got finished doing a Zoom call with[4:00:30]   one of these people that's making a movie that I had an audition for, but it was like a Zoom meeting[4:00:37]   audition. I saw them and I haven't seen them in years, but they're famous now. I've been[4:00:44]   reconnecting with a bunch of people ever since we've been working on these documentaries[4:00:49]   about young actors and the struggles and the memories. You got to get over this.[4:00:57]   It's really, really, really taken on a life of its own. With the thing like the Me Too movement[4:01:03]   and empowering women and all that other stuff, the child actor and community, I hate that word[4:01:12]   again, but it's coming around. People are starting to understand that it all wasn't like goodness.[4:01:18]   A lot of people grow up and have mental illnesses.[4:01:25]   His child actors cause is the new Me Too.[4:01:30]   Oh yes, that's what he's saying. Yeah, he's saying like child actors is going to be the new Me Too[4:01:35]   movement. They can't get work.[4:01:38]   Because how unfair is it that child actors can't get work when they're 39[4:01:44]   and they put in no effort? It's similar to Me Too.[4:01:47]   It's basically the same as being raped.[4:01:49]   Yeah, how they're being held back.[4:01:51]   They have struggles in life financially.[4:01:58]   There's not a lot of companies or businesses out there to help these,[4:02:05]   let's just call them entertainers, when they get older, if they struggle.[4:02:11]   Isn't that crazy? So he thinks because he was in a couple of shitty Nickelodeon shows as a kid[4:02:16]   that there's some entity that should be helping and guiding him through his entire existence[4:02:23]   to make sure he's a rich, famous actor. Isn't that something? This is how these people think.[4:02:28]   This is how Brian Callan thinks. Brian Callan's brain works the same as this big monsoon.[4:02:34]   Trust me on that.[4:02:35]   But he also has a new business idea if you want to hear about that.[4:02:38]   Yeah, let's hear this.[4:02:39]   625.[4:02:40]   Wow, 625. Yikes. Getting into the sunset hours here.[4:02:45]   625. Let's hear his new business idea. Is that what you said?[4:02:50]   Or his new content idea.[4:02:52]   His new content idea. Listen to this.[4:02:54]   Right now. So I just want to let everybody know I love y'all.[4:02:58]   Thanks for tuning into this video. I'm still working on an idea for a complete and awesome[4:03:04]   podcast on this channel. I'm trying to find a co-host. I want a woman that can do it with me.[4:03:15]   I want a woman.[4:03:16]   I don't know what it'll truly be about, but it'll be about-[4:03:19]   Well, what about Jules? Jules, you'd certainly co-host a show with him, right?[4:03:23]   I guess maybe.[4:03:24]   Well, you hear that, Michael? How'd you like to work with Red Bar's Jules?[4:03:29]   Mike David's Jules that he owns. Sure, I'll lease her out to you for free.[4:03:36]   How'd you like to- no, thank you. You look like you're saying no,[4:03:39]   thank you to me with that big face.[4:03:41]   I don't think he likes me.[4:03:42]   That's quite the big face.[4:03:46]   All right. Well, then you're not doing a show.[4:03:48]   Everything that I like. Everything that I like. And because I've been watching the news show[4:03:56]   dang much, I've sort of gotten political, which kind of sucks.[4:03:59]   Uh-oh, listen to this.[4:04:01]   The podcast, I think a good name for it might be,[4:04:07]   we're canceled.[4:04:09]   Because I'm going to talk about a lot of subjects that they're censoring on YouTube.[4:04:13]   I need a new cop air.[4:04:14]   Twinners or Facebooks and politics. I'm going to give views that are not mainstream views-[4:04:20]   Listen to this?[4:04:22]   On certain things. And then when I give movie reviews or talk about that,[4:04:26]   I'm just going to be straight up blunt because in my life I've sheltered so much in,[4:04:31]   where I don't want to break the mold.[4:04:34]   I don't want to create controversy because I'm insecure.[4:04:37]   I have many, many insecurities and I'm afraid and I have too many fears,[4:04:44]   where I can't really tell my truth.[4:04:47]   And then when I get feedback that's bad or I get dislikes or thumbs down,[4:04:52]   it puts me into a world where-[4:04:53]   By the way, I want to tell you something about a breakthrough I had.[4:04:56]   I have no mirror fears anymore.[4:04:59]   Yeah, thank you.[4:05:01]   I could go into a bathroom, turn the lights off and close the door with zero issue.[4:05:10]   Yep, thank you.[4:05:13]   Took me how many years?[4:05:15]   35 years to get to this point.[4:05:19]   Wait, how old am I?[4:05:20]   No, I'm not 36.[4:05:21]   Took me 38 years, 37 years.[4:05:25]   I used to be, I'd go into that bathroom.[4:05:27]   The first thing I did, flip that light switch on.[4:05:30]   I was so afraid of like a mirror haunting or something.[4:05:43]   Not good in the mirror.[4:05:44]   I mean, even up until like last week, you know what?[4:05:48]   I said, fuck it.[4:05:49]   And I went into that bathroom.[4:05:50]   I think it's the peeing in the middle of the night.[4:05:52]   I don't want to turn on the light.[4:05:53]   I went into that bathroom, big ass fucking mirror.[4:05:57]   You know, could house how many ghosts could that mirror?[4:06:00]   I don't give a shit.[4:06:01]   I take my pee.[4:06:03]   I go, do your fucking worst.[4:06:05]   Do your, what are you going to do?[4:06:07]   Drag me to hell with you?[4:06:10]   Spook me?[4:06:11]   Go for it then.[4:06:12]   Just do it.[4:06:13]   Do it already.[4:06:15]   You know what?[4:06:15]   They never have.[4:06:17]   I was terrified of this bloody Mary for far too long.[4:06:20]   You know, I told you as a kid, my parents had, you remember when you were a kid, your[4:06:25]   parents had like all these weirdo knickknacks.[4:06:28]   Maybe we have weirdo knickknacks now that will be weird to kids.[4:06:32]   When I was a kid, my parents had all this fucking fucking tchotchkes all over the house.[4:06:37]   They literally have just these like heavy little weird balls that have like painted[4:06:42]   leafs on them today.[4:06:43]   Do you ever see these things?[4:06:45]   This was like a decor item.[4:06:46]   It was like a heavy ball that would just like sit there.[4:06:50]   It'd be like painted gold with some leaves on it or something.[4:06:53]   Was it like invisible or glass?[4:06:55]   No, like big heavy ball.[4:06:58]   I mean, and they had this little statue like this tall of a really fucked up old woman,[4:07:05]   you know, and I thought that was bloody Mary.[4:07:09]   Like I thought that was her.[4:07:11]   I was so afraid with that statue in my house and then going into the back.[4:07:15]   I really thought this was like for sure.[4:07:19]   I was telling the guys, Jules, I have no problems going into a dark bathroom anymore.[4:07:24]   I'm done being bullied by the mirror.[4:07:26]   Really?[4:07:27]   Oh yeah.[4:07:28]   I'll go in, I'll look right in the mirror.[4:07:29]   I'll go change my face.[4:07:30]   Change it all.[4:07:31]   Make this a sub genre.[4:07:34]   Like go crazy.[4:07:35]   Go paranormal.[4:07:36]   Go crazy.[4:07:37]   Show me your deepest and they never do.[4:07:39]   And you know what?[4:07:40]   I called them out.[4:07:43]   It must not be in the cards for me.[4:07:45]   They don't care.[4:07:45]   They're not.[4:07:46]   Must be a huge weight off your mind.[4:07:48]   I thought, and I'm not kidding.[4:07:49]   I thought up until like just a week ago that if you went into the bathroom and turned off[4:07:54]   all the lights and shut the door, you had maybe a minute before it turned into silent[4:07:59]   hill one where everything's fucking.[4:08:04]   How stupid must I have been?[4:08:08]   There's nothing like that.[4:08:08]   You know what the dark bathroom is?[4:08:11]   It's the bathroom without lighting.[4:08:12]   That's it.[4:08:14]   There's no monsters.[4:08:15]   There's no, do other people know this?[4:08:18]   I'm glad you're here to tell everyone.[4:08:20]   Would you go into the dark bathroom?[4:08:22]   Completely dark lights off door shut.[4:08:25]   No, you're handcuffed to the pipe.[4:08:28]   How do you see where you're aiming?[4:08:30]   I don't, I don't care about vision anymore.[4:08:32]   Vision is stupid.[4:08:37]   All right.[4:08:37]   Does he say anything else here?[4:08:38]   You want to hear about red bands, mosquitoes?[4:08:41]   This is so fucking funny.[4:08:44]   Let's go to Brian red.[4:08:45]   He's got a lot of problems this week.[4:08:47]   Brian red band time, everybody.[4:08:48]   Huh?[4:08:50]   Tony, wait, wait, wait.[4:08:52]   I'm going to Austin.[4:08:53]   Austin is so awesome.[4:08:57]   It is such an amazing city.[4:08:58]   Yeah.[4:08:59]   Vibrant.[4:09:01]   When we come back, Brian red band, you won't believe the last time we checked in with Brian[4:09:08]   red band, what was he doing?[4:09:09]   Freezing his nuts off, right?[4:09:13]   What was Brian red band eating?[4:09:15]   Oh, that's right.[4:09:16]   Snow.[4:09:18]   What was Brian red band drinking?[4:09:20]   Oh yeah, that's right.[4:09:22]   Snow.[4:09:25]   What was he using as a heat?[4:09:28]   A lighter.[4:09:29]   Remember that?[4:09:30]   So the last time we heard from Brian red band who greedily moved to Austin to avoid COVID[4:09:37]   restrictions so we could get back to doing live shows, the same live shows that earned[4:09:42]   him a Tesla.[4:09:43]   Okay.[4:09:44]   He moves to Austin.[4:09:45]   What happened?[4:09:47]   The apocalypse, right?[4:09:48]   The snowstorm shut Austin down.[4:09:51]   They were living for seven.[4:09:53]   I had no idea.[4:09:53]   I thought maybe they had two days, seven, eight days.[4:09:56]   These people had no food.[4:09:58]   They couldn't drive.[4:10:00]   Their houses were ice.[4:10:01]   They were freezing cold.[4:10:02]   Wait till you hear what he's going through next.[4:10:06]   It's a lot.[4:10:07]   It just keeps getting better.[4:10:08]   This Austin.[4:10:09]   I'm telling you.[4:10:11]   I'm going to Austin.[4:10:11]   Austin is so fucking awesome.[4:10:15]   It is such an amazing city.[4:10:17]   Yeah.[4:10:18]   Vibrant.[4:10:19]   No, it's not that vibrant and it's not that awesome.[4:10:22]   I've got the proof coming up.[4:10:24]   We'll be right back after the short break on red bar.[4:10:32]   We'll be right back.[4:10:33]   It's pretty cool.[4:10:37]   We sailed on a dream on a crystal clear ocean[4:10:47]   to ride on the crest of a wild raging storm[4:10:54]   to work in the service of life and the living[4:10:58]   in search of the answers to questions unknown[4:11:02]   to be part of the movement part of the growing part[4:11:10]   of beginning to understand[4:11:17]   I could show the places you've been to the things[4:11:21]   that you show us the stories you tell[4:11:25]   I could so I sing to your spirit[4:11:28]   the man who I've served you so long and so well[4:11:58]   do[4:12:06]   like the dolphin who guides you you bring us beside you[4:12:11]   and light up the darkness and show us the way[4:12:18]   for though we are strangers in your silent world[4:12:22]   to live on the land we must learn from the sea[4:12:29]   to be true as the time and free as a wind swell[4:12:33]   joyful and loving in letting it be[4:12:41]   I could show the places you've been to the things[4:12:45]   that you've shown us the stories you tell[4:12:48]   I could so I sing to your spirit the man who I've[4:12:53]   served you so long and so well[4:12:56]   I could show the places you've been to the things[4:13:01]   that you show us the stories you tell[4:13:04]   I could so I sing to your spirit the man who I've[4:13:09]   served you so long and so well[4:13:24]   oh[4:13:38]   oh[4:13:54]   oh[4:14:15]   he was born in the summer of his 27th year[4:14:21]   coming home to a place he'd never been before[4:14:27]   he left yesterday behind him you might say he was born again[4:14:33]   you might say he found the key for every door[4:14:39]   when he first came to the mountains his life was far away[4:14:45]   on the road hanging by a song but the strings already broken[4:14:54]   and he doesn't really care it keeps changing fast[4:14:59]   and it don't last too long[4:15:03]   with the colorado rocky mountain high[4:15:09]   i've seen it rain and fire in the sky[4:15:15]   the shadow from the starlight is softer than a lullaby[4:15:25]   rocky mountain high[4:15:30]   rocky mountain high[4:15:32]   is[4:15:55]   yes mike's back how are you enjoying red bar so far hopefully[4:16:00]   very much we'll be right back[4:16:17]   you're ready to[4:16:22]   hey[4:16:26]   coming back[4:16:30]   i like this one huh right poor guy[4:16:43]   welcome to red bar[4:16:52]   welcome to[4:17:07]   welcome back it's red bar we really hope you're enjoying the show listen with all[4:17:11]   the calam i hope you know the calamities are also just jokes they're not real calamities[4:17:17]   okay still very funny very entertaining i mean you want to just watch brian callen[4:17:21]   and steve burns sit on the couch ask each other uh what foods they like is that better for you[4:17:27]   you know there should be no complaints i mean there are no podcasts that are doing anything else[4:17:34]   so if you don't like this one you just don't like podcasts welcome hi welcome back we got some brian[4:17:41]   red band you know what's so great about red band is he don't know when to shut up he don't know[4:17:47]   what not to say it's like you know red bars watching your every move if i knew somebody[4:17:52]   was watching my every move i'd stop doing the things that they you know love and celebrate[4:18:02]   i feel i fear too that that's what some of our smarter fools have done you know you start[4:18:08]   covering them they start getting the idea did i ever get a new water was this a new cup[4:18:12]   this is new cup oh okay because that's covered in confetti you know and you're thinking some of the[4:18:19]   fools must have stopped they've outgrown their fooldom because they saw what we covered and they[4:18:24]   must have made some corrections i mean why wouldn't you that's what i would do how do you think i get[4:18:30]   out all these jams constantly um but brian red band what i love about him is he's such a simpleton[4:18:37]   this is the perfect word for him he's not like a not kind he's not really even an asshole he's[4:18:42]   just a simpleton right he's a very simple-minded child-like there's almost an innocence to brian[4:18:50]   red band but what i love about him is he constantly can't help himself he spills[4:18:56]   da beans okay gives me exactly what i've been telling you is happening so when they all move[4:19:01]   to austin my first thing you know i had no ammo towards austin so i said oh yeah you're moving[4:19:08]   austin well good luck with the mosquitoes remember this and they're like okay mike obviously they all[4:19:16]   move to austin all you got is that they're gonna get attacked by mosquitoes yeah they're gonna get[4:19:19]   eaten alive no you know uh my childhood was like me versus the fucking mosquitoes and my parents[4:19:27]   trying to work this out with me and the mosquito i mean really everything was mosquito-based[4:19:33]   as a kid you're out you know and this is before the internet of course[4:19:38]   maybe uh internet kids don't have to deal with so many bites but to me it was just you know every[4:19:44]   summer was oh there's mosquitoes and calamine lotion and you're going to be itching all day[4:19:50]   and this was just a normal part of life now if i got bit by one mosquito i checked myself into[4:19:55]   the er i mean really i'd sue and uh but what i said when i first looked at austin i had no[4:20:04]   information about i never have any information about nothing by the way everything i say comes[4:20:10]   from my gut and an instinct that i have really i'm like i'm not i don't read books i don't read[4:20:16]   newspapers i don't read essays i don't watch anything educational yet day in and day out[4:20:24]   even intellectuals like drew michael will say oh wow what you're saying here is actually what[4:20:30]   you know pablo picasso was trying to say or something like that you know there's always[4:20:34]   everything i say can be tied back to somebody who studies their whole life to say what i'm trying to[4:20:40]   say seriously and when i first saw this photo of austin they sent me photos of uh you know[4:20:46]   avery schmuck and the gang zander and the gang all these guys well we found pictures of joe[4:20:52]   rogan's house and i looked at these photos it's beautiful mansion but what i noticed is[4:20:57]   he's living right upside a river or a creek or something his backyard has you know you go out[4:21:05]   to the backyard instead of it being the ocean it's like you got a bunch of grass and then river a[4:21:11]   line of big fat river and as a kid you wouldn't think twice right oh look a river runs through it[4:21:17]   how glamour as an adult there's a mosquito uh what's that just the bar don't worry as a mosquito[4:21:27]   scared adult you see a river and all you think about is bug bites bug bites[4:21:35]   and that's what i saw and i said look at all this dewey look at all the humid trees and water i[4:21:44]   mean everywhere you go in in texas in austin you know oh here look all this wildlife okay well you[4:21:50]   see all the water around these low level things that's where mosquitoes breed as soon as i figured[4:21:58]   out mosquitoes bred in little puddles of water and stuff i got the fuck away from water i wonder[4:22:06]   what moses thinks of mosquitoes and their love for water bonds with them i fucking hate mosquitoes[4:22:14]   i hate i'll tell you who else i hate flies i hate ladybugs even i i just don't want these fucking[4:22:22]   things erase them all i don't care what the consequence i want them out i'd rather only[4:22:28]   if somebody said mike would you rather only live 30 years but there's no bugs or a hundred years[4:22:35]   and there's the same level of bug i'd pick the 30 a quick 30 years no bug[4:22:42]   i mean to me i don't know how other people aren't annoyed by everywhere i go it's like are there[4:22:47]   going to be bugs there you know like i have what is that called where you're like have social[4:22:55]   phobias what is that called social uh you know where you're like afraid to go out social anxiety[4:23:01]   i i have social anxiety but just for bugs i mean there there's no reason why they're not they're[4:23:09]   social to me they're fucking right in my face how much more social you want to be you know i can't[4:23:15]   believe that a bug would go anywhere near my ear you know talk about a me3 that's something melton[4:23:21]   would say i apologize for it in advance but uh i hate that when the first time i looked at us[4:23:27]   and go that's a swamp there's mosquitoes everywhere and these guys from la you know[4:23:32]   you go to la what i loved about la there's no bugs i don't know what they're doing i think[4:23:37]   that the rich people of la for years have been eradicating the bug popular because you go to la[4:23:43]   you go okay um there's first of all la doesn't really make sense it's like the desert but they[4:23:49]   also have greenery everywhere like as much greenery as florida but it's also the desert[4:23:56]   and it never rains you're going what is going on here but i think what's going on is the rich[4:24:01]   have built this la into what they want it to be so they've got like the greenery of florida[4:24:07]   but with no rain i mean they're sitting on a desert land you shouldn't be able to have desert[4:24:12]   and all these like tropical fucking like every rich person you look out their backyard it's just[4:24:17]   a wall of green but there's no bugs there's no screens in la i'll tell you this i stayed at a[4:24:26]   very expensive downtown la apartment i checked in i couldn't believe it this place was beautiful[4:24:34]   very expensive i mean probably uh i'd say 2.2 million dollar apartment if you went to buy[4:24:40]   i walked in every window was open no screen where i come from if your screen is open[4:24:49]   you're going to lose your son eric clapton or your house is going to turn into a hive[4:24:57]   to me keeping your screen open for longer than two seconds what are you trying to do jungleize[4:25:04]   your living experience turn it into i mean to me it's going to be crickets and uh what are those[4:25:11]   hamster what are they squirrels and all this stuff so i can't believe it no screens windows[4:25:17]   wide open and this is what the hosts did these strict-assed airbnb hosts you go they're so[4:25:22]   strict these are the same people are like oh if you go to bed make sure to turn off the[4:25:27]   air conditioner we don't want to waste a dime they got the windows wide open no screens and i'm going[4:25:33]   this is i'm going to be eaten alive and then you know there's no screens and i'm i'm going[4:25:39]   wait a minute there's no flies in here there's no little tiny fly like when i was a kid you would[4:25:45]   go to like camp remember this and in the morning or at night or something you would just be in like[4:25:50]   a cloud of a million tiny gnats do you remember this you'd be by the lake and you go oh there's[4:25:56]   and you would just be within the gnats like your head in the clouds but a cloud full of[4:26:03]   in really that would just be a way of life imagine if one gnat was around me[4:26:09]   i mean i don't know what i would do i don't know what i would do i uh i i so so when i'm in la i[4:26:17]   couldn't believe there wasn't a gnat there wasn't a fly there wasn't a mosquito i'm led to believe[4:26:24]   that people in la want the good life so bad that they've been secretly spraying[4:26:30]   they've been secretly releasing chemicals in la to get rid of all the flying insects[4:26:36]   and they've been doing it since the 1940s since seros and that's the reason everybody there is[4:26:43]   so weird and screwed up that's what i think because i'll go there's no bugs there should be[4:26:48]   like they got every plant in this in the country is in la they've flown in it's a hodgepodge of[4:26:54]   every plant you could find is in la shouldn't that mean every bug is there i hate bugs and[4:27:04]   brian red band moves to us and i go oh he's in for a tasty treat he's in because people in la[4:27:13]   first of all they get used to the weather they get used to no bugs they get used to[4:27:18]   no humidity they get used to all of these things and then they sit around and they go[4:27:22]   la sucks oh i suck la sucks you mean the place that's almost perfect to live looks wise[4:27:32]   feeling wise temperature wise it's almost perfect it's uh it's not good enough for brian red band[4:27:37]   from cleveland ohio not good enough for him they go okay good luck moving to fucking austin[4:27:43]   good luck in if you think la is bad wait till you meet austin and dang nab it it didn't take[4:27:50]   more than a month or two they were freezing their rocks off last week let's see what they're doing[4:27:58]   now another thing that you really hate is terrible smelling funky foods i hate bad smells yes i hate[4:28:06]   bad smells i hate bad breath i remember the uh this hottest chick probably 11 out of 10 came[4:28:13]   up to me she goes what a fuck i go whoo dang damn what are you retarded that just smells retarded[4:28:22]   i fucking hate bad i hate bad smells it's invasive uh let's see what's going on with brian red band[4:28:30]   is austin suffering from i'm going to shrink myself down on this small and i can't i can't[4:28:36]   pause i don't know why we got a lot of errors today all brand new all very expensive stuff[4:28:42]   we spare no expense but a lot of errors all right we're watching virtual red band this is where in[4:28:49]   red band boy you would go oh is red band lazy well yes but he's you know what he's not lazy[4:28:54]   and this is why vr is going to take off the laziest guys in the world can do like 15 hours[4:29:01]   a day of vr content they love it the fattest stupidest laziest people they'll put on a vr[4:29:08]   set of goggles and man they could spend all week in vr record i don't know how they figure out[4:29:15]   how to record it really i feel like i'm so intimidated of drones and vr because i go how[4:29:24]   do they figure out how to work it when i see a drone footage i go how did they it must be so easy[4:29:31]   right i go how did they figure this out and frankly furthermore why do drone footage seem[4:29:40]   to look better than any camera is it just the fact that it's high up there and we're seeing aerial[4:29:44]   footage whenever i see a drone shot in a youtube vlog it looks better than the footage from on the[4:29:49]   ground where they're using like four thousand dollar dslrs the drone camera's just got a little[4:29:54]   digital camera on there but it always looks better anybody else you think that the drone[4:29:59]   footage always looks way better you're going what is going on how maybe it's just because of the[4:30:03]   impressive angle that's what i said yeah i don't know and then um the other thing is how would i[4:30:10]   ever tape vr i mean that seems like a nightmare right it's like trying to tape something from[4:30:16]   another dimension well i mean i could barely turn on this mic without fucking wanting to break it[4:30:20]   over my knee like a stick um so i can't imagine going through oh here's a vr headset figure this[4:30:28]   out and then figure out and by the way i'd be able to figure it all out it's the idea of having[4:30:34]   to even figure it out is what drives me nuts so brian redman he's in vr virtual redman this is[4:30:41]   episode 195 i'm not kidding holy shit he just started the show he's been in the vr universe[4:30:47]   195 times more than me for three to four hours at a time well i hope the world doesn't turn vr he's[4:30:56]   gonna have one i'm not doing vr if the world turns vr i'll go up uh my dog's asshole i'll experience[4:31:02]   life inside his uh tush i'm not going into vr i don't need to be uh hit up by 800 pokemon people[4:31:13]   it's my least favorite thing this pokemon japanese look i don't like it go to 440[4:31:21]   440 we're going into the void but before we do we're gonna hear brian redman[4:31:28]   tell us what's been going on in his home remember he got this beautiful new home that joe rogan[4:31:33]   bought him a starter home made out of materials that even lows wouldn't shelve because they're[4:31:40]   so cheap every material in his house is like the cheapest building material you could get and yeah[4:31:46]   i get it it created a house it ain't good it doesn't feel good the vibe in his house is so[4:31:52]   poor because of the cheap finishes that they use that these build and believe me these builders[4:32:00]   they're cutting every corner you could think of builders like this they build a house like this[4:32:05]   man whatever you think they spent cut that in thirds because that builder he cheated[4:32:13]   what do you think he's trying to put put you in a nice place that builder[4:32:19]   fucked your whole life and they're moving to austin they're buying these big crappy houses[4:32:26]   with poor finishes upside down outlets cheap cheap cheap home depot lower than home i'm trying[4:32:38]   to think what's worse than home depot as far as where you could buy a light switch plate[4:32:43]   switch plate you know wherever they're getting one of those bodega stores yeah there you go[4:32:51]   i mean really they're buying their shit from like alibaba 10 light switch covers for 99 cents[4:32:58]   stuff like that and it's showing people go oh mike you're being petty oh yeah listen to this[4:33:07]   carnival flavors i don't know like we're in red band everybody cheers welcome to red bar[4:33:13]   very good flavors there um i'm kind of you might tell you might be able to tell i'm a little[4:33:20]   wound up and i'm kind of kind of going to go on a rant whoa wound up and a rant and you know what's[4:33:27]   so weird he never used to be so pissy he's been getting pissier he never used to be used to be a[4:33:35]   pretty chill dude pretty happy as dumb as he is pretty happy pretty chill not anymore he's[4:33:43]   starting to get fed up with some people said ace hardware is lower than home depot is that true i[4:33:49]   always thought of ace hardware is a nice i don't think i've ever been in there oh you my dad loves[4:33:55]   an ace hardware he'll give his business to ace hardware before home he hates home depot by the[4:34:01]   way my dad told me that and i don't know if this is true my dad says lows is of a higher level than[4:34:08]   home depot but if he had his choice he'd go to ace hardware you got about 12 aisles worth of options[4:34:14]   i don't even know why this door exists go to ace hard you go to home depot you got about 7200 aisles[4:34:21]   and at the height of a home depot i can't even count that high i mean you almost need to take[4:34:26]   a helicopter to get up to the top of a home depot show and they're stacking those shelves up to the[4:34:32]   ceiling you go into an ace hardware i could touch the top shelf and it's got about 12 shelves you go[4:34:38]   what could i possibly get here how many options are there here there can't be that much and half[4:34:43]   the store is weber grills so you go what the hell is even here but i always thought of base hardware[4:34:51]   is a nicer store people are saying they love ace okay yes lows is the top they're saying lows is[4:34:57]   the top home depot is the bottom we need a upper level store i want a home depot where you go in[4:35:05]   and the lowest priced item is 7200 seriously i want to go to a home depot instead of buying[4:35:14]   that 158 hot dog from a mexican horror and it's a shit ass hot dog with all the wrong parts i want[4:35:21]   it to be a beautiful viennard beef you know what i missed vienna beef we don't have vienna beef[4:35:29]   hot dogs here i come from chicago where every day you got to walk down the street and shove a hot[4:35:35]   dog through your throat in order to survive the day this is me in chicago i'm like that hamburger[4:35:41]   guy from popeye i got a whole tray of hot dogs i'm just walking around going look at this jules[4:35:48]   you left just by the way i just got an idea for the show the red bar annual mike david hot dog[4:36:01]   eating contest yep we're doing it i'm surprised we haven't thought of that before i think i could[4:36:08]   eat about 60 hot yeah but remember you joshed any burger eating competition you only ate like one[4:36:13]   and a half burgers before you got sick and let me hear you guys start low bring it up high hot dog[4:36:21]   hot dog hot dog hot dog hot dog come on hot dog we're doing a hot dog contest here we're gonna[4:36:31]   see how many hot dogs mike can eat during the end of the show we'll save this we're not gonna blow[4:36:37]   it i've learned my lesson during this hamburger bullshit we'll do this during the last hour of[4:36:42]   the show i want you to make me and you're in charge of this a tray of 60 hot dogs today no[4:36:49]   okay the next show okay perfect hot dog pyramid 60 hot dogs okay in a pyramid that you make they're[4:36:57]   all perfectly if one hot dog is too cold it's not counted you gotta go make another it's the[4:37:03]   hot dog eating contest isn't about the quality of the dogs it's about the speed of the eating[4:37:08]   see this jules you see what i'm doing what it's called google you get on it you figure it out i[4:37:15]   want 60 hot hot dogs in a pyramid on my desk for the next show in the last hour i don't care how it[4:37:23]   how you get there i gave you a tip it's called this your fingers work get online figure it out[4:37:31]   there's an answer do they have to be full chicago style full chicago style dogs if one of them has[4:37:38]   impossible to keep hot if one of them has like a missing patch of celery salt[4:37:48]   you start over with 60 you got it if one hot dog is bad you start the whole pile over[4:37:55]   i'm not sitting there eating some shnank hot dog uh no this will be a hot dog eating contest i[4:38:01]   think we'll start with uh we'll see if i could eat 20 how about that that seems fair but i want you[4:38:06]   to cook up 20 dogs i think i can do that bonham you know what you could do ketchup or no ketchup[4:38:12]   just what i'm talking about um mustard and a little bit of onion and that could be it okay[4:38:19]   and the hot dog that'll make it easier for you but i gotta have the onion to me a hot dog without[4:38:23]   onion it's you're eating a child's but then you're gonna have to eat basically a full raw onion after[4:38:30]   you eat that's interesting that's interesting 60 hot dogs is probably about 20 onions[4:38:36]   which could be the death of me no wonder they always keep it plain for these competitions[4:38:41]   how about this the first 10 hot dogs have onions then it goes into blank dogs[4:38:48]   okay with just mustard i can do that would you guys like to see me someone just sent oh okay[4:38:54]   the hot dog oh wait actually you might make a lot of hot dogs you know what link that to me[4:38:58]   let me show the people here she's turning around her whole iMac like this link it to me how many[4:39:05]   of you guys press one in the chat would like to see me eat a couple hundred hot dogs huh how many[4:39:11]   you guys would like this or is this something mike we're not interested talk about the comedians[4:39:15]   please we're not interested in your songs or your hot dogs imagine that you come in for the news[4:39:22]   here but you always have to wait through all this bizarre competition they like that i think they[4:39:30]   like that i'll show you what this guy showed me and you'll poo poo this but i actually believe[4:39:34]   this would make a good hot dog this is the uh oddly midway electric this cooks 18 dogs at a[4:39:42]   time you've seen these at 7-eleven it's a hot dog roller and you probably find them pretty[4:39:48]   gross i'll tell you why you're wrong they are gross at 7-eleven you're in a store there are[4:39:53]   many people coming in covid people they're coughing in the air it's settling on these[4:39:59]   dogs that are rotating all day they're collecting dust some of these dogs have been there for two or[4:40:04]   three days this is not gross in my home this would be of course in a uh what would you call it like a[4:40:14]   in a controlled environment this would actually cook up 18 dogs quite nicely i'll tell you this[4:40:21]   the way they're heating the dogs with the roller is actually probably the best way you could cook[4:40:26]   a hot dog you know that's why they steam them what you want to do is gently cook a hot dog[4:40:32]   to a warm hot temperature without running its juices this machine does that perfectly[4:40:40]   and it actually rolls it so when the juices start emitting from the hot dog it's actually[4:40:45]   basting itself in the hot dog juice which is ideal you know for me the most taste you're[4:40:52]   going to get out of a hot dog is from a charcoal grill that's going to be the epitome of taste[4:40:59]   my second preferred way is a steamed dog although we've been steaming some fucking dogs around here[4:41:07]   they're not that tasty i'm telling you i like it charred up to where it's black[4:41:12]   black as floyd i like it when it's charred up and you're crunching and it's got a carcinogen[4:41:18]   crunch around it like i wouldn't mind if the whole thing was black but i'm also one of these people[4:41:23]   when i make a s'more i blacken the marshmallow oh same there are some people who want it lightly[4:41:28]   touched not me so i think this method would work i think this would be probably my top two hot dog[4:41:34]   besides chari but you know what we're buying the old a midway hot dog cooker i'll have that on[4:41:42]   display here you ever seen a show where in the background you got 18 hot dogs going well now you[4:41:47]   have because it's coming next week i promise you this write that down that i gotta buy this how[4:41:52]   much is this 110 oh my god i'll have three of them here this whole place will be dogged[4:41:57]   look at this and it's also amazon's choice they they like this one visit the oldie have you ever[4:42:07]   heard me read an amazon listing it's pretty funny since we all know about amazon watch this oldie[4:42:13]   midway electric 18 hot dog seven roller grill cook machine okay visit the old a mid i read every line[4:42:23]   anyone do this takes me hours to pick a product and i read every line this is what i do so i'll[4:42:30]   go i need a hot dog maker right hold up whoa no no watch what i'll do you never heard anything like[4:42:40]   this i'll go i need a hot dog maker i'll go on amazon right you've all done this i'll go to[4:42:45]   amazon what did i just say i like to read from top to bottom so this is how i look at this page[4:42:51]   might be a little different than how you do it so watch i pull up this page this is how i read it[4:42:56]   this is what's going on in my head amazon smile logo hello select your address all drop down menu[4:43:05]   hot dog roller machine search icon america flag icon with a drop down hello sign in accounts and[4:43:13]   lists with a drop down returns and orders zero in cart three lines all bestsellers today's it's[4:43:22]   really do you understand where i'm going it takes me hours she thinks i'm comparing products so this[4:43:28]   is what i'm doing bestsellers today's deals prime with the drop down menu customer services new[4:43:34]   releases books fashion kindle books gift cards toys and games find a gift amazon home computers[4:43:42]   shop whip and i'm like god i can't wait to hear about this hot dog machine amazon home shop by[4:43:48]   room discover shop by style home decor furniture kitchen and dining bed and bath garden and outdoor[4:43:56]   home and sometimes i'll click on one of these and then i'm fucked and you have to read it all again[4:44:01]   then i go square logo with a guy in it two things a picture of it mr cigna sink caddy with suction[4:44:10]   cup sponge and scouring star star star star star outline one four five nine ninety nine check mark[4:44:21]   prime oldie midway and then finally forgot a line back to results sponsored i it drives me insane[4:44:33]   sometimes you get to a page where it's got a block of this shit even more eating for hours[4:44:38]   god forbid i get into this bottom category by accident i click and by the way i don't back click[4:44:44]   i find that to be rude so if i accidentally click on this link like amazon business everything you[4:44:49]   need to know oh this cost me a day because what is my rule i read from top to bottom sometimes[4:44:58]   i'll read out the whole address bar it's not necessary but sometimes i'll do it business dot[4:45:04]   amazon dot com slash en slash home question mark ref underscore equals footer underscore retail[4:45:13]   underscore b2b i got lucky sometimes i got to scroll over i read from top to bottom lead your[4:45:21]   organist and again what else don't i do i don't click back until i give the page some respect[4:45:29]   these people wrote all this stuff obviously this is what george jenko probably does right[4:45:34]   yes we caught george jenko do you know every time he's in an elevator he wait we got to show that[4:45:40]   later yeah okay look at all this i could be reading for days and then i click on every link[4:45:46]   i think that's how you're supposed to do it so i'm so stupid okay bit over funny funny funny[4:45:52]   you've never heard that before from all your top comics but bit over back to brian red band look[4:45:58]   what's happening when you move to austin mike doesn't approve mike from red barn he told me[4:46:05]   he doesn't approve of austin oh yeah you want to know why what did i tell you mosquitoes[4:46:11]   what else did i tell you bad smells listen to this um i want to talk about kimchi i don't know[4:46:20]   if you guys know about kimchi uh i found out about kimchi about seven years ago uh my friend[4:46:27]   took me to a place called the tofu house in korea town where i had my first kimchi[4:46:32]   now when you go to a korean restaurant for your first time there's a lot of like small dishes that[4:46:38]   they give you we want to really play all this or do we go somewhere else that was just kind of the[4:46:42]   start you can skip to seven are we going to talk about this kimchi stuff yep okay so his girlfriend[4:46:48]   you guys know brian red band's girlfriend what do we call her around here well we call her grudge[4:46:56]   people go what are you talking about she's got a grudge on something you ever seen that chinese[4:47:01]   fucking chink flick hey the grudge i don't like japanese anime i don't like japanese horror[4:47:11]   i'll tell you why it ain't from my land all right what scares you is no business of mine[4:47:18]   so i um i like the idea behind japanese horror whenever i get into it i go oh it's all chinese[4:47:25]   people um sorry and we're like um and then it's a bunch of writing and there's a bunch of guys[4:47:32]   going oh sorry not for me but i know about the grudge because i've seen it uh they remade it[4:47:40]   in america with buffy what was your name that girl michelle geller i liked her for a few years[4:47:48]   guess what movie she's in what the scooby-doo live action oh i thought you met a new movie[4:47:54]   you know i loved i was a big fan of that movie cruel intentions with geller i used to call her[4:47:59]   gal you ever find yourself scrolling on instagram and talking back to one of the models and you[4:48:04]   refer to her her uh by her last name only talking back to the models yeah you know when you're[4:48:11]   scrolling through the models they're showing you like their butts and you're going oh yeah[4:48:15]   you know just oh yeah you know let's pretend i'm calling them by the first oh yeah lexis ren[4:48:21]   oh yeah is that what you want you fucking whore and that how you're supposed to do it you ever[4:48:26]   catch yourself calling the instagram model by their last name only and then you go this is[4:48:31]   getting too coachy this is getting too sports coachy you know i don't want to give away any[4:48:41]   of these names but uh yeah that's like when i call cheryl sarah michelle geller geller[4:48:46]   you like that geller is that what you want geller you ever look at a picture of her going to go do[4:48:50]   you want to get what do you want to get killed you want to get killed then put it away[4:49:00]   so uh his girlfriend brian redband's girlfriend she looks like that little kid from the grudge[4:49:08]   right i don't even know i mean the grudge to me is a gem i don't even feel like i've seen the[4:49:12]   movie or the american version and uh but brian redband's girlfriend is so asian that i'm naming[4:49:19]   her i'm nicknaming her after one of these brutal horror movies from china right so like uh[4:49:26]   when i see like some girl that's so asiany i go oh what's up battle royale you know what do you[4:49:31]   got for me here what's up grudge what's up ringoo you know how's it going to cure or whatever you[4:49:40]   call yourself you know to me if you're so chinese that i'm nicknaming you after such a chinese[4:49:46]   whatever you are so his girlfriend is hereby known on red bar as grudge we call it sometimes it's oh[4:49:55]   look the grudge is here or hey look it's red band's grudge so if you ever hear that we're not talking[4:50:02]   about like oh somebody's holding a grudge no this is the grudge as a person because it's so[4:50:08]   asian you know i'm the only one with the guts to just tell you you know everything gonna be so asian[4:50:23]   and also asian i'm supposed to know okay uh he married grudge right and what's the best part of[4:50:32]   that i always knew they're married oh whatever she lives with him she's moved with them to austin[4:50:38]   now she likes eating boogers and bugs and kimchi and all this nasty ass shit and asian people they[4:50:46]   don't know the difference between a bowl of boogers and some broccoli i mean really as far[4:50:52]   as food goes they're daring to say the least okay you know that's why you never see asian people on[4:50:58]   like fear factor hey uh for a million dollars reach your hand into a aquarium of spiders before[4:51:06]   you even said what the dare was they'd be eating this or they'd be one with the spiders you know[4:51:13]   so that's why you never see an asian on fear factor they really like it down and dank you know[4:51:19]   they'd live in a sewer i think i just saw a reddit post that was like what do americans do that's[4:51:26]   offensive to your culture and they don't even realize it and all of the posts were about fear[4:51:32]   factor like shows using regular asian foods and like things that people eat as dares it's a dare[4:51:40]   you have to eat an egg roll yeah that is a dare to me in fact when i go out to get sushi it's all[4:51:45]   a dare that's why i'm there it's exciting people go do you want sushi for lunch no i don't do like[4:51:50]   an exciting dare for lunch i'll do a dare as a birthday all right um can you pass me that puffer[4:51:58]   there i got another one on the charger there right by your feet my puffer went up but yet to[4:52:02]   me like asian food when i really go in it's a fucking dare okay like everything that's why i'm[4:52:10]   getting off on eating all this stuff here every time i eat a piece of sushi i look around and[4:52:14]   look what i did huh it's like skydiving i take a bow i'll eat a piece of sushi i'll go the restaurant[4:52:20]   must be very impressed look i ate that without spitting it out i must be very daring and very[4:52:27]   risky so i couldn't imagine living with an asian person to me i'd be so nauseous from all the crap[4:52:37]   that they think is normal to me i don't even know what kimchi is i couldn't i couldn't tell you what[4:52:42]   kimchi is and i'll tell you brian redband's got this girlfriend she like wants to eat all these[4:52:50]   like crazy ethnic foods right but she doesn't know the proper ways to do it and in asia it's[4:52:56]   different it's like you make a hamburger here there's not much danger in it sure the meat has[4:53:01]   to be fresh that's about it you make a burger it's not gonna cause shirashima too in asia it's like[4:53:09]   oh you're making sushi you better make sure you have sushi grade fish or somebody could die[4:53:15]   oh you're gonna eat this blowfish better make sure it's killed the proper way or someone will die[4:53:21]   so think about that asian food comes with make it the right way or somebody could actually die[4:53:27]   there's like a lot of consequence to eating asian food improperly eel and all this stuff[4:53:33]   so brian redman lives with a woman who's got the mental capacity of a shittier him and she's making[4:53:40]   this asian food that really only a trained pilot should be making you know you gotta go through[4:53:47]   a class to make this stuff she's making it she's causing all sorts of sir mustard gas[4:53:53]   all sorts of stuff is happening in this man's home and it's home related what do we love austin[4:54:00]   home related issues and incidents and disasters and this is another one you want to move to austin[4:54:09]   oh yeah well guess what listen at this a food house in korea town and they they give you like[4:54:16]   10 different small dishes like one was like a full fish like a dead fish and it looked just[4:54:21]   like a dead fish and i was like no get that away from me then there was like all these other little[4:54:25]   dishes some of them this is reminding me this is really weird he's gonna get really mean he's[4:54:32]   gonna be really mean to grudge you can skip ahead to like seven minutes because he just describes[4:54:37]   what kimchi is yeah he's gonna say something really listen to this this is like a different[4:54:43]   red band austin has turned red band into a monster oh there she is she's being mistreated[4:55:10]   that's what i see when i look at a person like this that's what i'm thinking[4:55:13]   i'm not thinking this is normal i'll tell you that right now that's a secret about me i don't[4:55:20]   know anybody else out there you look at a person like that you go do they even think i'm the same[4:55:24]   level as me after all of the asian hate crimes happened this weekend kim kardashian tweeted[4:55:32]   she was like we have to stop this asians are human really kim kardashian said asians are human[4:55:39]   yes wow if you have to say that then maybe a lot of people think otherwise listen i'm not[4:55:45]   saying i think otherwise but what i am saying is everybody was like thanks for telling us we're[4:55:50]   human all i'll say is you won't catch me in a room with this person i'd look at the ground[4:55:56]   before i look up to talk to her and maybe this is good for some people to me this is[4:56:04]   like a bug i'm not saying hey this is about how red band's being mean to her[4:56:10]   so we have to take her side if you're look at this does that not look like something[4:56:17]   you should be worried i mean if this if you were sleeping and you woke up to[4:56:23]   and then your tv tuned to this you're not allowed to oh no that's a great person what am i afraid[4:56:30]   what am i afraid i'd go right back to sleep yeah right[4:56:35]   so okay let's see what's going on when you move in with that[4:56:41]   and there's nothing wrong with her listen if you're part of bts sure this is what you need[4:56:46]   to me bts is freaky this is just freaky it's like a monster so but that doesn't mean a hate[4:56:53]   that doesn't mean no you can't get a job so it's not racism it's just you're allowed to be scared[4:57:01]   scared ism uh all right let's see what happens here dating this monster over here uh we started[4:57:09]   getting kimchi i thought hey you know our grocery store had some white people kimchi wait what did[4:57:14]   he say about a monster i i heard the word monster i think unless i got monster on the mind they[4:57:20]   started dating this monster over here i started dating this monster over here[4:57:26]   i mean he just called his girlfriend a monster it's racist i guess that is a monster is like[4:57:40]   all types of gremlin and critter and all that is a monster right like that's all[4:57:46]   like the grudge is considered a monster right well there you go i call her the grudge she calls her[4:57:51]   a monster eating kimchi i started liking it and then what's that no say it no i just said hear[4:57:58]   that the courts the courts for me wait i want to show you something watch this test test test[4:58:10]   it doesn't there test just oh there it is watch this everybody know i'm a motherfucking monster[4:58:16]   i'm gonna need to see your fucking hands at the concert i'm gonna need to see your fucking hands[4:58:21]   wow it does that effect let me do it it's very uh it's very technical i don't think you'd be[4:58:29]   able to figure it out um okay he called her a monster let's see what this is about people[4:58:35]   go mike mike mike mike we've had two segments on this whole show let's go we're about to watch this[4:58:41]   once i started dating this monster over here uh we started getting kimchi and i thought hey[4:58:48]   you know our grocery store had some white people kimchi which was in this nice little jar about[4:58:53]   that big and okay so kimchi comes in you know we should show people what kimchi is i don't know[4:59:00]   what kimchi is oh do they come on oh do they i mean surely by now i was kidding then i do not[4:59:10]   know i'll tell you for real when i hear kimchi i'm imagining bok choy i'm imagining wilted boiled[4:59:22]   bok choy it's fermented cabbage why is it in a jar because it's like it's being pickled in the jar[4:59:31]   okay i've never had it i will never have it i won't even eat the chinese carrots that are or[4:59:37]   the chinese corn is really freaky to me you should see me you should see me at a ramen shop[4:59:44]   this is me at a ramen shop and this is mike and i go yes do you have regular chicken noodle soup[4:59:53]   without any of this shit in it that you can serve when i go to a ramen place i give them so many[4:59:59]   special things that they're making an american soup literally i go to a ramen shop i got so many[5:00:05]   requests that what they come back is like a bowl of matzo ball soup it's got no miso in it it's got[5:00:13]   no seaweed i hate all that shit you know why i like panda express chicken nuggets with some[5:00:20]   sweet and sour sauce that's as far as i'm gonna go but you already know all right so they're eating[5:00:28]   kimchi okay and what do you use kimchi do you eat it plain do you eat it in a salad what do you do[5:00:33]   you like put it on the side of your meal so if you're having like korean barbecue maybe one piece[5:00:38]   you put and what's the point of it is it like acidic yeah it's like pickle yeah you eat it to[5:00:43]   like cut through the richness of the meat or something exactly interesting i would never is it[5:00:49]   like rainbow colored like a frog it's like orangey brown bullshit and they don't why did they discover[5:00:56]   this i think you've had it before many times what do i say when you say you want some kimchi well[5:01:02]   listen to it you're not going to believe it that this is about kimchi it was good once in a while[5:01:06]   you put it add it to some rice or some meat and it was a nice little addition well koreans love[5:01:14]   their kimchi people are at look at this chinese corn is greasy grassy matzo balls please does mike[5:01:22]   like seafood how embarrassing would it be if i didn't like seafood i hate people who don't like[5:01:28]   you know someone will go to a restaurant and then some girl be like i don't eat fish for no reason[5:01:35]   i know it's a i'm telling you to not like seafood here are your options you're allergic to it that's[5:01:43]   it i'm allergic to shellfish and i often consider just having it i'll tell you this i'll tell you[5:01:49]   secret i didn't like seafood until i was like 24. wow because i was what's called a jewish[5:01:59]   faggot now so my rule is there's no adult that is allowed to say they don't like seafood it's not[5:02:07]   that you don't like it you're literally just being picky still as an adult there's no reason[5:02:13]   to not like it you're very picky too so you should be that's what i mean but that's what i mean if[5:02:18]   i'm so picky i'll eat all the seafood well i draw the line it's snails snakes chirpings i won't eat[5:02:27]   that shit i do draw the line at some seafood like i won't eat salmon i won't eat tuna i won't eat[5:02:34]   shrimp i won't eat lobster i won't eat trout i won't eat bass i won't eat yes you will yes i[5:02:42]   will now it's all fine it's very mild and very light so there's no reason you shouldn't like it[5:02:48]   you know they're not aggressive tastes you eat some salmon it's not aggressive i think what[5:02:54]   happens is kids grow up they smell seafood cooking and it smells really bad and they[5:03:00]   envision that to be the taste like i remember when i was a kid my parents cooked shrimp and i[5:03:06]   literally forced my family to never cook shrimp again because the smell was so bad i was like[5:03:10]   crying i was like six years old they cooked shrimp i was crying because of the smell that's[5:03:16]   how much i hated asians as a kid i don't want to smell that to me shrimp is not only something[5:03:22]   that asians eat it is an asian people are saying if you are actually rich you would eat snails[5:03:30]   yeah escargot um i don't like it at all i don't like anchovies in my spaghetti sauce we've gone[5:03:39]   over this i won't eat small fish because to me that's bug it's bug apparent eventually you get[5:03:47]   to a size you're the size of a fucking bug there's this spaghetti sauce i make that's so fucking good[5:03:52]   it's insane it's like better than any sauce i've ever had and mike turns his nose up at it because[5:03:59]   it has an anchovy in it and it's not even an anchovy it's great delivery jewels you really[5:04:04]   sold it there i'm kidding but i won't eat it no i i'm not embarrassed about that[5:04:13]   i don't want that brown canned fish i i like this how they explain it it's just like adding[5:04:20]   some salt okay is it like salt because if so i'm salt free now i'm no salt diet imagine if[5:04:30]   salt was like a living fish with eyes i mean come on it's not like salt it's salty you know what[5:04:36]   else is salty probably my piss you eat my anus cut out my anus i'm sure it's good would you do[5:04:44]   that take a pumpkin carving knife cut out my butthole put it on a plate look how raunchy you[5:04:51]   get make me here with this cut out my anus take a bite it's salty it's like salt i don't want that[5:05:01]   brown mushy canned you know what it is it's the canning if you caught we're at the docks[5:05:08]   okay jewels you want to make me spaghetti let's go to the doc imagine if i made her oh you want[5:05:13]   to make spaghetti we're gonna go to the doc catch a single sardine she has to take a fishing pole[5:05:18]   the size of a pen mini fishing pole mini fucking thing i got a big one out just kidding then i'll[5:05:28]   eat that sardine if you catch it but i'm not eating a canned brown headless limp stick[5:05:38]   i don't care how salty it is add a little pinch more of american sea salt please anybody else[5:05:51]   i like pineapple i like all this stuff mike eats whole octopi i don't like calamari either i don't[5:05:57]   like octopus actually do you see me eat octopus right yeah but i don't like it i do it out of[5:06:03]   a favor all right this is about him not me it's been too much about me today in a full hour[5:06:10]   so i'm not saying that's a bad thing i just thought it was funny it's not good[5:06:14]   no i'm saying that's funny okay good luck buying books this week[5:06:21]   i'm kidding i'd never be even we bought this new bookshelf and i thought you know jewels here's[5:06:27]   another 10 jewels makes me buy her about seven or eight books a week cost me hundreds of dollars[5:06:32]   i go you what are you gonna do with all these books finally we got this big[5:06:36]   floor-to-ceiling bookshelf it's beautiful and we go to fill it i go i can't let's just fill it up[5:06:42]   i thought she was gonna have more books than the show we fill this thing she's got three shelves[5:06:47]   covered it's a big i got seven more shelves blank and now she's so excited because i told her i said[5:06:58]   you go on amazon i want this bookshelf filled i gave her a deadline i want this bookshelf[5:07:03]   filled in a week and a half she has to buy 700 books in a week and a half and arrive[5:07:10]   i thought you know what this is gonna cost me they're like 27 a book[5:07:15]   so if you have any book i we're running out i mean literally like we pick out seven books a day and[5:07:20]   then we're tired we're exhausted we can't think of any more titles so if you have books does anyone[5:07:26]   have this problem you gotta fill a bookshelf buying the books individually they should make[5:07:31]   a company where they go would you like to buy a lot of books for the bookshelf hey you know what[5:07:36]   we did fill our bookshelf with that guy who sent us all those amazing horror dvds yeah well guess[5:07:41]   what that filled maybe shelf for you so if you're listening there was a guy who sent us our home[5:07:47]   yeah he sent us a bunch of c-list horror movies we don't have a dvd player and he sent us i forgot[5:07:52]   to thank him uh thank you i thanked him how nice of you um i forgot to thank him so thank you so[5:07:59]   much he sent us all these like b underground horror movies wrapped like a dvd box of maybe 50[5:08:08]   dvds wrapped all like august underground marcy gets raped three and they're like disastrous[5:08:19]   and he even had to write like a key gives us like a legend there's a piece of paper in there[5:08:23]   where he writes every title with a sub like an explanation of what it is i have a buddy i could[5:08:29]   read the back and we've never unwrapped one we don't own a dvd player i don't know what he's[5:08:36]   sending me dvds for imagine the mind of a guy but i like it that he sent us all these dvds and[5:08:41]   they're all like super scary fucked up horror dvds and so one day i feel like we're gonna happen[5:08:46]   upon a spooky old dvd player because that's kind of like an old relic now and then it'll be the[5:08:52]   time to watch well we bought a real the real extra horary i gotta interrupt i don't know if this guy's[5:08:57]   trolling let's there's a guy trolling me right now he goes nice bong mike clean glass that's the sign[5:09:07]   of it it's so embarrassing having these objects on the desk because you don't know what they are[5:09:14]   if you think this is a bong this would be pretty cool huh huh oh that actually puts in a but[5:09:21]   don't do that don't inhale it try that jewels try that that's like a new thing well[5:09:29]   try that that's actually fucked up inhale the booze i'm not kidding no no no really like suck[5:09:35]   it in hey you laugh now this is going to be the new vodka tampon for the teens trust me on this[5:09:46]   all right my boy brian red band's got a story that it's about to unfold that is so grim how[5:09:54]   grim is it well okay let's go back to big mike and tim dillon i'm going to austin it's like[5:10:01]   so fucking awesome it is such an amazing city yeah vibrant oh is it listen to this[5:10:11]   and we moved here to this nice beautiful house here in austin texas we found a korean grocery[5:10:18]   store and we bought a big tub of kimchi which i was for i was like fuck yeah kimchi um and that[5:10:26]   kimchi stunk up her whole entire house to the point where she i gotta how you ever seen like[5:10:32]   we're like a girl like a rich girl has one of those tiny monkeys that's always like around[5:10:39]   does he i want a tiny monkey how is that fucking any different than one of those[5:10:43]   tiny little monkeys that's following around a human how this the ability to speak bravo[5:10:52]   it's like can we start differentiating humans based on[5:10:58]   all right i told you i wouldn't interrupt this is the story janice was taking the kimchi out[5:11:04]   to the garage and then like that was a specific type of so she's talking it was a specific kind[5:11:10]   of it was worth it look at that haha lol haha haha his wife's a pet lol see[5:11:20]   see i should have i went with my gut i stopped the tape to say that vile thing[5:11:27]   and it worked out look how the joy i brought to seven guys[5:11:33]   that's what you do it for jewels not the paycheck like her all she cares about is the fucking money[5:11:39]   but me i do it oh my god by the way look at this watch this jewels this could be you[5:11:45]   do we have the sound of a gong that get me a gong no you'd be don't do that that's cruel look at that[5:11:58]   wake up wake up[5:12:04]   all right i promise you i will not interrupt this story you're gonna love this story it's[5:12:08]   our third segment on the show we're only uh about the five hours in it's a radish[5:12:14]   kimchi what's known to smell a little bit more but we took it to the garage stunk up our whole[5:12:19]   garage to the point where my car started smelling like fucking shit so this is great so the last[5:12:25]   time we heard from him he was snowed in he was drinking snow his uh dinner was um a snow course[5:12:33]   a seven course snow meal he had a fillet of snow with a side of snow and uh some snow[5:12:45]   asparagus and like that's what brian red band did he made all the objects you know he made[5:12:52]   little asparagus is out of snow now certainly he probably made molds and he packed the snow in and[5:13:00]   then made but he had it all uh a snow cocktail he had a snow fillet of course the snow side[5:13:09]   and for dessert some snow yes and um that's the last time we heard from him now we're turning in[5:13:18]   his whole house stinks and really he's going to go into this his car is ruined you seen that[5:13:24]   seinfeld episode where they can't get the bo smell out of the car it's like that he had to throw his[5:13:29]   keys to a bum and the bum even said ah man too gookie too gookie about meat listen to this yes[5:13:38]   and if you you left the refrigerator open uh if you don't know what that the smell of kimchi is[5:13:46]   it's like i can't even believe i'm hearing new things as if you've left the refrigerator[5:13:51]   imagine how stupid you would have to be to leave the refrigerator open hi this is how dumb she is[5:13:58]   open the fridge uh close it fucking idiot how dumb must someone be to not understand that the fridge[5:14:14]   must be closed every time it's not an option it's not a cabinet why don't fridges automatically[5:14:20]   close seriously like one of those stores i've only not closed the fridge two times and it was both[5:14:26]   fridge error not human error fridge error where something's wrong with the fridge she ain't[5:14:32]   closing the fridge she's letting all this shit get out the fridge is spoiling she likes her food[5:14:38]   spoiled that's how she cooks she spoils the food oh how do you like your cook uh your food flame[5:14:44]   grilled uh you like it sous vide do you like it seem no i like it spoiled that's a japanese[5:14:52]   cooking technique to spoil your food is an option all right listen to this pheromone[5:14:58]   type thing it's like it smells like a a woman's volleyball uh game like if you're in the bleachers[5:15:07]   of a woman's volleyball game in high school or something literally smells like farts no it[5:15:12]   doesn't you know what brian ribbons actually good at uh describing things his childlike innocence[5:15:19]   lets him describe things kind of goodly really i mean he really does he goes into depth of how[5:15:28]   things and you see this idiot comes he goes it smells like farts no now you're downplaying the[5:15:33]   smell i hate when people do that oh this smells what does it smell like they're like it smells[5:15:38]   like shit okay it doesn't smell like shit let's be a little more articulate here you fucking idiot[5:15:45]   right i hate when people downplay something that's terrible they just go that's i don't know[5:15:51]   it's worse than that you know she comes in the fucking idiot smells like farts don't say that[5:15:58]   then they'll oh it's really bird school right because everybody you're smelling a fart day in[5:16:04]   and day out how horrible is it the girls got to walk around these guys are gassing up the aisle[5:16:10]   you're walking through men's fucking guests throughout the day like a girl at a grocery[5:16:15]   store i always go back to the grocery store because that's where men and women it's[5:16:18]   such a co-ed forced thing everyone's got to go there the old the young the tit list the[5:16:25]   titful big fucking boners you don't know what's going on there and um most girls when they walk[5:16:34]   behind a guy you're being gassed how cocked is a woman to be gassed and stared at what a fucking[5:16:44]   bitch a woman is to have to go through what they go through i feel so bad i'd like to give you some[5:16:49]   money every week jules to pay back for all the things you have to go through how does a hundred[5:16:56]   dollars a week sound you don't have to do how does a hundred dollars a week to start sound fine[5:17:02]   how much money how little money would you accept to work for me uh what would you do it for the[5:17:10]   least amount of money if i paid you 25 bucks a month to be my uh wife would you do it do i still[5:17:16]   get to like live here and eat all the food you get everything you get 25 bucks a month that's[5:17:21]   basically what happens now that's 25 dollars more than i now make oh yeah she gets to live here[5:17:31]   all right back to these guys i promise i will not interrupt this stuff cheers up a woman's[5:17:36]   volleyball game in high school or something literally smells like farts it smells something[5:17:41]   else this has that pheromone shit to it yeah it has like that weird where like like if you looked[5:17:46]   at a cat's face it would do that like like if you're like that's a good description you know[5:17:52]   i gotta hand it to these fools when they hit it it smells so bad it's like when a cat makes that[5:17:59]   face that's a good description she's laughing up she never even thought of something like that in[5:18:04]   her damn life start itching a cat's butt it starts going like that's the kind of shit and so we have[5:18:12]   to throw that kimchi away even you were like something's not right with that kimchi you[5:18:17]   thought it was maybe bad or it's just it ruined our house for a week and i wouldn't say it's farts[5:18:24]   to me it smells this sounds rather innocent right now this is actually taking over the man's life i[5:18:30]   mean he goes on for about an hour about this and he starts getting more aggressively angry[5:18:34]   she's laughing as if it's a joke and he makes it perfectly clear coming up this ain't a joke[5:18:40]   you've destroyed my home i wanted to move to a clean smelling plate the place smells like[5:18:45]   fucking pussy now the smell of an asian gun like he's furious he's i'm telling you he's[5:18:53]   gonna get furious the drip the drip of an asian cunt cuts through a man's soul i hate these people[5:19:03]   who hate the word moist we were talking about this shut the fuck up you ever seen these people go[5:19:10]   yeah oh the chicken's really moist and they go moist i'm sorry i can't what are you immature[5:19:15]   i hate that this thing about you hating the word moist is you copying tv or something it's you[5:19:25]   copying you don't hate the word moist you heard some fucking girl say that she was probably just[5:19:32]   joking and then you copied moist is the perfect no one hates the word moist yeah it's the perfect[5:19:38]   word to describe what it stands for so anytime you see someone do this you'll go oh yeah the[5:19:43]   turkey is actually really moist it was good and then they go moist don't they recoil say this to[5:19:49]   them stop right now the jig is up i know this is a lovely bit that you do it's all over moist is[5:19:59]   fine it's not doesn't make you cringe doesn't make you recoil you copied that from people as a thing[5:20:08]   to say and you don't even know why you're copying do you think this gives you more of a personality[5:20:15]   it makes you more you no sorry moist is a word what are you you're thinking of a moist pussy[5:20:23]   why should that even make you recoil you got a problem with your own anatomy i just don't[5:20:29]   understand it doesn't remind me of a pussy and that's what their complaint is right that it's a[5:20:36]   moistened vagina get your head out of your ass you fucking toddler you're so immature don't let[5:20:43]   them people are saying giving me a time code of when you said that you hated the word oh yeah well[5:20:49]   pull it up because i guarantee that never happened ever people do this all the time it was probably[5:20:56]   someone saying moist and then you going oh i hate the word moist making fun of them but these people[5:21:02]   are so retarded because only somebody to call me out on that right now first of all you're crazy[5:21:08]   how do you even remember what's been said on this show and you probably miss there's some people who[5:21:14]   listen to the show they don't know what's a joke what's not they don't know what the fuck's going[5:21:18]   on on this show i would say half the audience thinks i'm giving it to you straight myself to[5:21:24]   check it out later yeah we'll check it out believe me get back to you well they did this to me before[5:21:28]   and they were completely wrong remember when i said i hate when people say lady gaga[5:21:35]   remember that and they go mike used to say lady gaga and no i didn't i uh i never did[5:21:47]   and i was probably again you're probably right i was probably saying lady gaga[5:21:51]   mocking the people who would say that but that's a level that these people cannot even understand[5:21:56]   it's like a fifth i'm gonna look into this later and figure it out for myself there are some people[5:22:02]   they can't understand sacrifice in mockery okay where you'll sacrifice yourself to mock someone[5:22:10]   else by doing what they do that's a level of comedy that some people can't understand[5:22:18]   i'm finding that out with a lot sheila aliens does not understand that level that is one level[5:22:25]   higher than her brain is allowed to go and she doesn't even know that so when she sees me do[5:22:30]   this she thinks oh mike's saying lady gaga they don't understand and sometimes you gotta explain[5:22:37]   what this stuff is people don't know there's no ex you don't go to school and they go oh there's[5:22:41]   this eighth level of mockery where you do the same exact thing word for word it's the person you hate[5:22:47]   does but it's supposed to be a joke because people know you better i mean really that's not explained[5:22:53]   and some people just cannot figure out that concept that's why i'm in all this trouble[5:23:01]   that's gaslighting thank you here you go it's like a musky sock that has been dipped in[5:23:09]   what about like rotten garbage it smells like garbage it's definitely smells like garbage[5:23:14]   mixed with like pheromones and old pee for me it smells like farts because look at this guy[5:23:22]   mike seriously this is why i love you do not know that shit okay oh people do not know that[5:23:29]   shit that's my bad it's true people don't know that stuff i'm obsessed with the things that's[5:23:34]   that are going on that people just there's a lot of these things there's a ton of confusion out[5:23:39]   there that really isn't explained we all just assume our minds work the same and we understand[5:23:46]   the same there's so much unexplained i'd like to give a course in the little minutia those little[5:23:54]   things a comedy class what did i say i was doing a course in beard trimming oh it's not that funny[5:24:04]   i'm doing a course in hot dog eating coming up next week on the show it's free to see[5:24:11]   and i'm gonna eat 60 hot dogs before your very eyes within i'm gonna give myself a time i never[5:24:15]   gave myself time i'm gonna eat 60 hot dogs within three minutes i could prove it coming up on the[5:24:24]   next red bar i could probably do it in one minute all right this is the second time we've talked[5:24:30]   about the hot dog eating competition within one minute of this clip being played[5:24:36]   being played[5:24:40]   watch your back all right i swear to god i'm not gonna fuck this up we're gonna watch this clip[5:24:46]   wait you hear what's going on in austin and by the time you hear about this i've said so much[5:24:51]   other better stuff that's what i mean this is what's the problem with red bar not even a good[5:24:57]   clip by the time red bar gets to a clip you've said so much better stuff that you're so thrilled[5:25:03]   by that but this means nothing it's like having sex with eight hot chicks and then uh right after[5:25:10]   some ugly chip goes would you look a hand job you're over it you're spent well hey that's a[5:25:19]   pretty nice problem to have huh you know pretty nice problem to have here you go[5:25:25]   smell like[5:25:32]   anyways so we both agreed that that last kimchi was bad and you're gonna lie that's how it's[5:25:39]   supposed to smell i get it but it also smells like our whole house smells like garbage for[5:25:44]   what i consider a side dish like look if i really love you might have missed it this is why i'm uh[5:25:51]   here to repeat i love repeating the fools did you hear what he said our whole house smells like[5:26:01]   garbage[5:26:08]   you see that he's in hell over there our whole house smells like garbage last week our whole[5:26:13]   house was in igloo we had to eat snow for thanksgiving you ever eat thanksgiving uh[5:26:19]   snow cranberry sauce it's awful it's just little mush balls of snow so last week it was snow now[5:26:27]   it's the whole house smells like garbage not a good smell let's hear some more liked pickles[5:26:34]   but it ruined our whole entire house i would be like okay pickles are for only going to eat[5:26:40]   pickles outside of her house not going to ruin our whole house we have a nice being she's sitting[5:26:45]   back there like i don't notice a smell the house smell fine to me yeah yes that's what i've been[5:26:57]   talking about brian you ever think maybe the uh cause of this un-cleanseable smell might just be[5:27:08]   right under your nose if i what if i went like this and i kept zooming and then it[5:27:17]   literally opened a portal to hell and we saw flames and burning bone beautiful brand new[5:27:24]   house don't want to ruin it right no but pick it's not equivalent to your your pickles it's[5:27:31]   equivalent to something that you eat every day right cheers right okay but it's not something[5:27:36]   that is a main dish it's something i eat every day all right so let me think of something i[5:27:40]   eat every day all right if it's like diet coke if our whole house was ruined from diet coke every[5:27:46]   time i opened a can of diet coke actually no just having a diet coke in the refrigerator ruined our[5:27:52]   whole entire house i would be the first to be like i'm only having diet coke when i'm outside[5:27:56]   of the house i'm never bringing back this podcast is pretty good this virtual red band i know i[5:28:00]   always skip over it because i always think that it's just going to be him playing the games but[5:28:04]   i didn't realize we get a few minutes of one-on-one red band he's actually pretty[5:28:08]   good i actually like compare him to santino he's not good but it's not boring it's not good but[5:28:13]   it's not as boring as you try to watch tom sagura's show try to watch santino try to watch um[5:28:20]   anyone on those all things comedy now i mean this is at least you're hearing from a human being[5:28:27]   you're hearing you know some inside info on what it's like to be a human being you turn[5:28:33]   into some tom sagura's show or santino it's like so robotic so non-human and that's why i i bitch[5:28:42]   and if this show had 500 000 fans i'd understand but for tom sagura santino to have 500 000 people[5:28:50]   loving nonsense bullshit interview yapping like as shitty as red band is at least he has some[5:28:58]   humanity at least it's something it's an inside look at two fucking scumbags but uh you're not[5:29:06]   getting any inside look into anything on that santino show that thing seems to be the worst one[5:29:12]   definitely the worst i like literally i think santino show is the absolute worst the fact that[5:29:19]   that even has 10 listeners is crazy to me all right you gotta hear this i promise you gotta[5:29:25]   hear this i cook in my house so we got rid of that kimchi now we went to the korean grocery[5:29:32]   store last night and they have a wall of different brands of kimchi by the way and just to remember[5:29:38]   this has never happened with the white people kimchi that we got at pavilions in los angeles[5:29:44]   which was a little jar there's a store called pavilions that's funny sounds like something[5:29:50]   i'll be right back i'm heading down to pavilions[5:29:54]   to pick up some pavilions i'd be too embarrassed to shop there you'd be like where are you going[5:29:59]   i'd be like um oh your drink i'm good okay sorry i know how far this could lean look at that[5:30:07]   i'm a pro i could lean this thing like a full 30 degrees or what's a good degree 40 degrees i[5:30:15]   don't know i mean how far can you lean it to me degrees don't make sense because i thought[5:30:19]   that's temperature um i'm in full control all right let me show you once again what's happening[5:30:26]   here she cannot smell any different smell like the smells brian's complaining about is what her[5:30:35]   upper lip micro economy of smell has like right here all those bad smells that every human being[5:30:43]   is afraid of they live right here in an ecosystem of bacteria above the chinese lip i can't believe[5:30:54]   shane gillis is like in all this hot water for just saying chinese once i know i mean[5:31:02]   shane gillis must watch this show go what the fuck you big fat fucking round nothing[5:31:11]   believe it's probably made by white people and they're like oh no we we found a way from the[5:31:15]   smell or something this is not made in a bathtub in korea or something right that small i think[5:31:23]   no the ingredients are the same i think it's just the amount that's the size of it yeah because the[5:31:29]   last time we had the other it was the same brand but i had a smaller jar like half that size in the[5:31:35]   fridge and you were you didn't complain well maybe it's the size of the jar maybe we just got to get[5:31:39]   a bunch of little jars but he's getting mad so we went to the korean grocery store last night[5:31:44]   i'm sorry i thought i'm upset because all right i used to have a cat i think if anyone that had[5:31:49]   a cat that just let me know in the house and you had to deal with that embarrassment where you're[5:31:54]   like so this gets worse you go oh brian red band he lives around a bunch of filth right[5:31:58]   well listen to his story about the cat that he used to have you're not going to believe this[5:32:05]   like you know trying to wash cat piss out of your your sofa and people come over and[5:32:10]   they're like what's that smell you know like that i had to throw away half of my furniture[5:32:15]   because of cat pee that really and the constant smelling of cat pee that was like one of those[5:32:21]   things that finally got to me and so yeah uh remember his last apartment where we went over[5:32:26]   it with a fine tooth comb showing you every disgustery we could possibly i had no idea[5:32:32]   there was a cat piss issue as well everything smelled like cat piss you can't have people over[5:32:38]   what's that smell that sucks and you're sure it's not that thing over there that gargoyle she looks[5:32:46]   like she's taking a leak right now she might be lemonading all over this place you don't own a[5:32:53]   cat that's the funniest part of this he's smelling cat piss everywhere yeah look around meow right[5:33:01]   there all right let's hear some more me and i'm like yeah here's the best guy in the chat right[5:33:08]   now goes get a litter box perfect yeah he didn't know he just got a cat and he's like what the[5:33:14]   fuck why is it peeing it's gotta take a leak what the fuck he had no litter box that's hysterical[5:33:22]   i wonder if that's true he's never he got a cat he didn't know he thought that was like a luxury[5:33:28]   item for a cat yeah you know he just got a cat he didn't know the cat uh because of the cat peas[5:33:37]   situation well we got some kimchi last night we didn't get the radish kind we got the normal kind[5:33:43]   same brand though uh and we had some kimchi was delicious we ate it someone look at this guy in[5:33:49]   the chat he goes man fuck these Asian Asian bitches man lol so somebody's watching this[5:33:57]   at home he goes dude fuck these ages just because i'm saying she peed all over the house it's a joke[5:34:04]   and you're going dude i can't take it with these eggs that's the best i love what goes through the[5:34:10]   mind very very funny and before we bought that i remember coming home with our groceries in our[5:34:18]   hands while we have the kimchi in the bag i remember walking into the door and i look over[5:34:23]   to Janice and i was like that that new house smelled like the house smelled like a new like[5:34:29]   a new car how a new car smells it was like everything smells so good that's just cheap[5:34:35]   carpet glue by the way oh man i moved into this house and everything had that new house[5:34:42]   that's your shitty very cheap empire carpeting glue[5:34:47]   okay there's no leather in the house you know that new car smell there's no it's just glue[5:34:56]   i love this house literally i walk home tonight or i get home tonight i open the door same shit[5:35:03]   it smells like fucking garbage our whole house right now smells like garbage i am so angry[5:35:10]   because i can't stand it's like smelling cappy i can't stand this shit like like it's it's[5:35:17]   absolutely the worst smell and i am banning kimchi from our house unless i guess it's a small i'll[5:35:23]   try a small bottle if you think that's what it is but no more our house right now smells like[5:35:30]   fucking shit it smells like how is this any different than one of those testicles that a[5:35:35]   psycho keeps in a jar filled with liquid seriously how's that any different than going to a spooky old[5:35:42]   laboratory and seeing a testicle in a jar i don't know because the eyes because it moves okay a[5:35:52]   volleyball team mixed with garbage mixed with feet mixed with old pee to use his house he's[5:36:00]   describing his house the smell that i'm smelling or do you think i'm going crazy i don't smell it[5:36:04]   right now i think it's all in your head[5:36:09]   no yeah all right you know what i want you to go outside you're going to sit outside for two hours[5:36:15]   and i'm going to lock the door and then you're allowed to come in after two hours[5:36:19]   and you're going to smell this crap wow does anyone in the comments know what i'm talking[5:36:25]   about this could have been me describing sashin decide house in fifth grade when my mom made me[5:36:32]   play with an indian kid this could this is like my same she's you will not believe the smell of[5:36:39]   this crap that's what i said she's like what's going on i'm like i don't know the place fucking[5:36:46]   stinks i will not play with sashin all right and that was my last indian experience of my whole[5:36:54]   life has anyone been through the pain now like janice said that's why a lot of koreans have[5:37:05]   uh refrigerators in their garage and because of that smell okay do we skip ahead here it[5:37:12]   gets really funny at 23 15. yeah are you done with the kimchi part i guess i mean he talks about it[5:37:20]   for so long he goes on for so long and it really is bothering him and you could see she's not[5:37:27]   you know she doesn't really understand kimchi smells i don't smell anything 23 15[5:37:34]   he talks about something else that's aggravating him today so there's something is this uh give[5:37:40]   me a hint here kill tony there was an episode of kill tony that was taped that will not be released[5:37:50]   for three weeks we don't know why let's hear a few hints here kill tony not doing so well[5:37:56]   remember austin and texas they opened up full capacity right how come kill tony was not sold[5:38:05]   out last week very interesting you know when i saw people thought oh he's gonna give some sort[5:38:12]   of covet no no no when texas said oh we're opening full capacity you don't have to wear a mask[5:38:19]   do as you please we're opening up i go okay kill tony better be shoaled out 400 people[5:38:26]   better be this right antone's kill tony's new home at antone's holds 400 standing people[5:38:36]   they've been filling the club with covet with maybe 20 people tops if you include the staff[5:38:44]   they might be filled if you include the staff and the comics there to perform there might be 14[5:38:50]   audience members at antone's well they've lifted the restrictions now you could fill up your whole[5:38:57]   club in austin so why wasn't antone's sold out last week are people being slow do they not get[5:39:06]   the news i said all right austin's open these comedy clubs should be packed to the brim[5:39:13]   uh oh let's hear what happened at antone's this week[5:39:22]   oh man i just gotta get oh and by the way something happened on kill tony that[5:39:26]   that angers me it doesn't even anger me it disappoints me it bugs me you guys will see[5:39:33]   it in a few weeks we we got a bunch of cool shows coming up somebody says tony is short for antone[5:39:41]   i love it i fucking can't wait to find out what the thing that disappoints him is i'm so excited[5:39:49]   jewels i despise antone's with a passion we just saw justin bieber's tiny desk performance[5:39:58]   he literally had the antone's band did you hear that comment i made she was too busy looking at[5:40:03]   bieber i go it's the antone's band no laugh i go hey it's like uh i reword it hey it's[5:40:09]   like justin bieber's uh performing an instance nothing i say it now oh i see she comes to life[5:40:15]   staring at bieber you and he gives six shitty songs holy holy holy holy it was awful just[5:40:23]   like to see what he's up to oh by the way there's no more desk on the tiny desk it's just a full[5:40:27]   performance now it used to be npr's tiny desk performance let's hear what a band sounds like[5:40:33]   in a desk now it's here's just a full performance with full equipment it's not even unplugged[5:40:42]   what about that is tiny desk it's a full venue all right here you go the tapes[5:40:49]   um call antone's i'd love to get me the number wow sorry i'm ready to light my jewel with[5:41:00]   green tea with my jewel okay come on get to it man i got a whole show to do here we're[5:41:05]   only that part just saying that something happened on kill oh that was it so listen to this something[5:41:10]   happened bad on kill tony and it won't be released for three weeks so they're editing they're trying[5:41:17]   to make this uh not read borrowable okay do we have any other time codes from here yes finally[5:41:23]   the mosquitoes 3720 this happens here guys what did i tell you was gonna happen in this austin[5:41:31]   huh what did i start this segment with the bugs the flying plague 3720 yep listen to this now[5:41:45]   we've entered vr here grudge has gone to cocoon that means she's taking a nap grudge has gone to[5:41:54]   cocoon she sleeps in one of those slimy attic cocoons ala gremlin and now he's in the vr[5:42:03]   universe so things are going to get twisted okay we are in the grand theft auto world[5:42:08]   we are in optimized world i'm not joining this world i've decided[5:42:13]   i'd rather die in a chair with no noise than to be in this vr i'm not doing it listen to this[5:42:21]   mirror yes toggle immersive mirror sure no i don't want immersive whatever[5:42:29]   listen to this you're gonna die i couldn't believe it when i heard this[5:42:39]   there's something else i want somebody says this is two hours after the original mosquito bit that[5:42:45]   i talked about are we two hours in the future yes a lot of people even listen they listen to the[5:42:50]   whole show it must be good to listen i can't even listen to two hours of any other show so i can't[5:42:58]   imagine how good this must be all right here it comes talk about and that's mosquitoes mosquitoes[5:43:07]   like look mosquitoes and i mean mosquitoes in uh i brought this up as a joke whole different kind[5:43:24]   of mosquito what did he say jewels mosquitoes can i have that uh detonator here[5:43:37]   what did he say a whole different kind of mosquito[5:43:49]   listen to this where i live let me go to this relaxation dome show off for a bit this place[5:43:57]   is sweet uh where's the mirror though i forget it's over here listen to this[5:44:08]   it gets worse all right it gets no better than this so in los angeles there was mosquitoes but[5:44:16]   i never saw them they were very tiny and they just bit your legs like your legs would constantly have[5:44:23]   bug bites on them i forget there were there they were called they they invaded burbank[5:44:29]   like a couple years ago they were like asian mosquitoes wait a second whoa there were like[5:44:37]   these little baby mosquitoes and you just bit your legs all the time and it sucked[5:44:44]   what uh and then austin there's the the normal kind of mosquito now i remember these from ohio[5:44:52]   they're about the size bigger than a quarter i would say they're like a quarter and a half[5:44:58]   like the change quarter and but the weird thing about them i don't know if all my neighbors have[5:45:04]   bug poison outside or something but they don't know how to fly they're just like on the ground[5:45:08]   like drunk bugs like you're not really scared of them and i just catch them on fire you know like[5:45:17]   a crazy psycho six-year-old but i'm constantly stepping on them like fuck mosquitoes i got a bug[5:45:25]   zapper but i guess it doesn't work on mosquitoes mosquitoes are like i don't give a fuck about that[5:45:29]   but oh the mosquitoes are here i seriously like i'll go outside right now and there's like 10[5:45:40]   waiting by the door just flopping around like dead that's nothing having ever seen what the[5:45:45]   proud boys did in my old uh street address there in chicago these 10 mosquitoes i'd kill for just[5:45:52]   10 enemies showing up to my house but listen to this i mean really my wildest fantasies are coming[5:45:59]   to life before my eyes i said they are gonna hate the mosquitoes there as a joke i had nothing else[5:46:07]   i was going off a couple of trees i saw and then there's fish after like when you when you go[5:46:14]   fishing and you take the fish you put it in the boat and they're just flopping around like[5:46:18]   dead fish that's what these mosquitoes are doing they're just flopping around everywhere[5:46:22]   all right give me that thing i am going to[5:46:34]   go somewhere else oh no because i think no one can join me[5:46:43]   so okay um is that it for the mosquitoes let's call uh i'm just gonna go to a so he's being uh[5:46:50]   you know eaten up eaten alive uh he's getting bit up let's call anton's you know we've tried doing[5:46:56]   this before and anton's was never open remember we thought austin oh everything's open right[5:47:03]   should be open right now could be open what time is it in austin right now[5:47:08]   jules um it is look that up and um there's 24 should be no excuse what day of the week is it[5:47:15]   thursday no excuse anton should be open remember we exposed this austin[5:47:22]   openness this utopia of freedom that they have nothing's open uh we called two weeks ago[5:47:30]   every bar in austin we found one gay guy he was closing up shop he said oh things aren't as open[5:47:35]   as they seem trust me on this i said would you suck my cock he hung up that's true all right[5:47:42]   we're calling anton's i just took a screenshot of the call i might sell that as an nft how[5:47:49]   about i screenshot this call i sell it and it's an nft for 5200 says they're open on google[5:47:57]   somebody said come on anton yeah you know that you're home so just pick up just pick up my call[5:48:09]   i i mean and then they'll complain oh covid is restricting us oh yeah they're restricting you[5:48:17]   from answering the phone being open on a thursday why aren't you sold out covid's over and these[5:48:23]   businesses are still claiming ask them what happened on kill tony i would love to if they[5:48:27]   pick up the phone thursday night calling anton's eight o'clock he said any excuse why aren't they[5:48:36]   open answering system off look at this you're sure this is anton i think they put up posters[5:48:44]   all across austin with your phone number on them and we're like do not can somebody cross[5:48:49]   reference this uh the number for anton's did you look everywhere because sometimes there's an old[5:48:53]   number that should be it that's it so we try our best every show we should try to call anton's[5:49:00]   saturday sunday monday i'll put that on the top of the notes every week and we'll try it[5:49:05]   isn't that something there's nothing open in austin they're lying to you about this being[5:49:10]   the house of freedom they're making you move there this is uh worse than that uh district[5:49:15]   the osark district in seattle or whatever the fuck they were talking about what do they call[5:49:19]   that thing jules uh i don't know what the fuck oh chaz chaz yeah this is chaz all right um let's[5:49:29]   do this and then we've got plenty more show for you guys next we should show them what our guest[5:49:35]   on the last show said about you oh my god it's so fucking awesome we'll do that okay ready[5:49:59]   inside the wall of my mind this place come day because i like my behind i can't love my business[5:50:07]   if i give me a trick oh come on and kick me[5:50:23]   come on and kick me[5:50:30]   you've got your problems[5:50:36]   okay sorry i fucked that one up[5:50:59]   oh come on[5:51:29]   hi thank you[5:51:50]   oh come on and kick me[5:52:02]   come on and kick me come on and kick me you've got your problems[5:52:12]   i've got my eyes wide you've got your big cheese[5:52:19]   cheese[5:52:40]   thank you thank you very much thank you very much open and honest open and honest dialogue all right[5:52:47]   last week on the show we had the amazing veto this is actually really funny we had ray devito[5:52:56]   do you know this new york comic rated we had a guest on the show a skype call ray[5:53:03]   devito we got confused at the beginning of the call you know we saw this guy on kevin brennan's[5:53:09]   little show his little zoom show with all the spaces and we said who the fuck is this guy[5:53:13]   and then someone named the amazing veto messaged me and i said really wait wait wait this actually[5:53:19]   happened so when we saw ray devito we said who is this guy and then another comic named the[5:53:26]   amazing veto messaged you yes he messaged me on twitter and this is so weird can i call into[5:53:32]   red bar and then i asked the chat i said is this person on kevin brennan's show this guy who's[5:53:39]   messaging me and everyone was like yes yes yes so i messaged him saying not the same guy though[5:53:45]   okay yeah let's call like call in call in and then he was messaging me about his skype details[5:53:50]   and all this and then another guy named ray devito yes who's the right guy yeah people are saying[5:53:57]   you want me to call in so then i had these we had two comics we had the amazing veto messaging us[5:54:04]   thinking we were summoning him and then we had ray d veto imagine if you were so low level and[5:54:11]   so shitty that your name is ray devito and motherfuckers are confusing you with somebody[5:54:16]   named amazing veto no d and to be honest with you i'm still not 100 sure which one of these guys[5:54:25]   is the guy that was does it really matter i mean it could be any any guy named adam or ray or d[5:54:33]   it's all the same but we had this guy on remember and i started doing this[5:54:37]   sickening challenge i like to go perverse with people now i am uh i like to go beyond[5:54:44]   humanity get me some scary music jewels for this did you see what i did the rate of edo on the last[5:54:50]   episode it's epic i mean people are really they've never seen anything like this you get a comic on[5:54:56]   you start enticing him with the comics favorite food money the comic loves the coin[5:55:12]   comics need[5:55:18]   money you could bring it up a little[5:55:20]   so look into a comic soul is to experience the comics need for money[5:55:33]   ray devito was no match for his need for money[5:55:39]   knowingly i asked ray ray to earn some money and boy did ray get excited[5:55:58]   for his opportunity i've got it to make some earnings[5:56:05]   the comedian in its natural habitat he's always looking for earnings[5:56:13]   boy i made 50 at a road show imagine how much i could make on red bar is red bar[5:56:25]   the show that gives comedians more than they make on the road[5:56:29]   road red bar offered ray devito 150 simply for exposing his arms[5:56:40]   hey listen if you expose your arms to me that's freaky deaky stuff man somebody said to me jewels[5:56:48]   by the way hey expose i i'm not taking up my arms on demand ray devito wanted the money[5:56:56]   he wanted it so badly ray devito could not he was no match for wanting earnings[5:57:12]   so i asked ray to fetch himself a fork[5:57:20]   ray interested in earnings ran to the kitchen cell phone facing forward as to not miss a shot[5:57:37]   something mike could not do because it's too embarrassing[5:57:41]   ray devito ran to his kitchen drawer and pulled a cheap bitten up fork[5:57:51]   with more bite marks on it than red band's ankles[5:57:59]   ray devito was willing to do anything for his earnings that day until his earnings reached[5:58:06]   earnings reached the 150 dollar mark where he said that's enough[5:58:14]   150 is a tremendous amount of money to me i don't need anymore it is enough[5:58:29]   and ray devito took the money that's all he needed he could have gotten 300[5:58:34]   he could have gotten 400 he could have carved into his arm but 150 was too much he couldn't[5:58:39]   even compose what he was going to buy he was going to go to stores it would be an endless supply[5:58:45]   filling cart after cart you might need bungee cords to tie his carts together because[5:58:50]   he could afford so much stuff with 150 dollars that's the mind of a poor man that's the life[5:58:56]   of an unscholar that's the life of an idiot it's the life of a fool they think 150 dollars could[5:59:02]   buy them a ground-in pool they don't fucking know they've never had that much cash but then[5:59:07]   they blow it and it goes by real fast they don't know what to do so they come back to me but if you[5:59:13]   would like to make more money then you must bleed mike must see you bleed i crave blood of the[5:59:21]   comedian seed you see i must see them in pain it gives me my powers it makes me less vain please[5:59:29]   comedians come to me for cash i'll provide you with a life that's outlandish at last finally[5:59:35]   you have the things you've always been yearning for pools and hot tubs and food at your door[5:59:41]   i will buy you door dash i will buy you uber all you have to do for me is show me that you[5:59:48]   i will bleed okay this is what i'm saying this is the thing i'm getting to fuck making fun of[5:59:52]   comedians get them on this give them a ton of cash let's make them suffer sorry for all that[5:59:58]   um let's make them suffer he came on he actually went to step three he almost made it it's like[6:00:05]   saw it's like the saw movies he came on he was going to cut himself but then he said you know[6:00:10]   what would you like to hear by the way this was the biggest highlight of his fucking life i'm not[6:00:18]   kidding that guy did you see the last show go watch the last show he was on he got 300 after[6:00:26]   the show venmo would you like to see how he has to talk about this is amazing side of the story[6:00:32]   he's on with esther coup he's doing an interview with esther coup she's so stupid what are you[6:00:37]   doing an interview with this guy could not muster up more than 200 views right well let's see what[6:00:43]   he has um it's on vimeo's i don't know if it shows he's doing a show on vimeo yeah really okay uh[6:00:56]   well we're gonna go censored oh my gosh okay hold on a second i gotta change my view actual size[6:01:03]   rate of edo on uh vimeo let's go here we go and wow it's not showing the view counts now this[6:01:12]   is interesting that means he turned those view counts off i mean how many people could be[6:01:18]   listening to this oh look who's on it esther coup pat dicks oh i just closed it that's a bizarre[6:01:26]   move i've never done that before reading something and then i close it up look at this guys[6:01:32]   esther coup you know her what are you wasting your time on the adam devito show and new york[6:01:39]   crime reports compound media's pat dixon oh hello pat me and you haven't had the chance to speak[6:01:47]   before would you like to be involved in the red bar ecosystem i don't think so i don't think so[6:01:54]   and he don't think so this is going to be great esther coup's going to hear about red bar pat[6:02:00]   dixon who works for kumia he does this show the new york crime report he really lost it all but[6:02:06]   look at the title of their whole podcast here red bar mix-up and the last opium gym show with[6:02:12]   i'm the headlining fucking thing no joke he talks about it literally like the entire show[6:02:20]   so we got another garage you know last year coup you know pat dixon right his wife divorced him[6:02:26]   she's a psycho we heard all the in and outs of their relationship how fucking gory was that[6:02:31]   and he works for anthony cumio now it's interesting path pat pew me and you never[6:02:36]   had a chance to really get close would you like to uh get to know me better you know pat worked[6:02:44]   at compound media he kept quiet about me pretty much right everyone else got involved geno[6:02:49]   erin berg bill shultz all of them pat dixon kind of went oh yeah pat it's going to be interesting[6:02:58]   to hear what pat thinks about me oh pat would you like to let's get together sometime how fucking[6:03:06]   scary would that be if you were a comic and i'm starting to talk about you all right here is[6:03:11]   ray devito the man of the hour the ace man this is what the ace man would have been if he continued[6:03:17]   to be a construction worker you know and never got involved with dr drew dr drew to me dr drew[6:03:26]   is no different than dr dre they're both awesome they're both incredible they both are sick all[6:03:32]   right are you ready to hear this shit what what time code 30 seconds well let's just hear the[6:03:37]   beginning then i'd like to hear the intro hello what's going on welcome guys to the patreon[6:03:42]   edition of uh i cannot believe he has a podcast i i mean this is incredible this every human being[6:03:51]   who wants to be a comic have a podcast what business do you you're the sidekick you're the[6:03:57]   seventh lead on kevin brennan's show you got your own show too on patreon you're paying people are[6:04:03]   paying for this i feel like this is like how people feel when they first find out rubber[6:04:08]   people are watching it yeah but come on i mean this apparently they are an esther coup and pat[6:04:17]   dixon they spent hours with this guy let's hear what he says the whole podcast um it is march 11th[6:04:26]   is coming out on march 11th and uh i'm joined with uh esther coup very funny comedian good[6:04:31]   friend of mine esther coup is in pat dixon i've known those guys for years and yeah we we have uh[6:04:37]   yeah this the patreon is awesome because i can talk about stuff i probably wouldn't talk about[6:04:42]   so much this is interesting it has nothing to do with this they said mike you're becoming popular[6:04:47]   in the no effects community i hope that's true i'm gonna hope that's true yeah i love no effects[6:04:54]   you know i've always been a fan of them to me no effects is 50 times older than me and i was[6:04:59]   10 years old when i was listening to them so it'd be very nice to be popular amongst their fans and[6:05:05]   be better than no effects to them but i hope thank you for that public uh listen to this and those[6:05:15]   of you that know that uh follow me on twitter and everything and you're gonna love this are up in[6:05:19]   the podcast world uh know that i i did red bar very popular show wildly successful show on uh[6:05:26]   on tuesday what the fuck this okay you heard what he said i did red he's not being sarcastic look[6:05:33]   at his face i've never heard red bar described like this in my life me neither guys a lot of[6:05:39]   you know i did red bar this week very popular show very successful show is this what people[6:05:47]   think on the street or is this i've never in my life heard red bar described as this[6:05:56]   watch this thing and or up in the podcast world uh know that i i did red bar very popular show[6:06:04]   wildly successful show on uh on tuesday march 9th um i would say i don't know it's more[6:06:11]   remembered the date yes this is like being on jay leno he's acting like he did fallon[6:06:18]   you'll see him on red but he's going around telling every comedian in the world oh i did[6:06:24]   red bar today hey did you see my red bar they're talking about red bars if it's like you're doing[6:06:28]   failing i'm the new failing for these guys you do red bar you get out of it scott free that's[6:06:33]   like having a home run set on carson this is the new fucking thing listen to this video cast[6:06:41]   so much a podcast or a comedy network but um they're huge they're huge they got like a million[6:06:46]   listeners million they're huge they've got like a million listeners we have like 3 500 listeners[6:06:56]   tops and like a thousand that actually like it this is crazy listen to this again i would say[6:07:05]   i don't it's more a video cast it's hard to rewind on this podcast or a comedy network[6:07:11]   but um they're huge they're huge they got like a million listeners million followers and uh[6:07:17]   i only know them because i do like misery loves companies some compound media stuff[6:07:24]   and there's a youtube channel just labeled where the guy mike who uh who created uh[6:07:32]   he's for real by the way will take shots listen to this at comedians or whatever and they think[6:07:38]   that i'm like oh i'm part of this comedian thing uh here he is he's this they want to believe that[6:07:46]   they have this understood in order to sleep at night like oh he's like part of the comedy scene[6:07:51]   he's the guy like takes shots no no no if you're on red bar you're in a heap of big trouble this is[6:07:59]   not this isn't like oh yeah thursday nights they have this like crazy show at the stand it's uh[6:08:07]   no no no we're not part of your community if you're on red bar you're fucked this isn't[6:08:16]   explainable by any means it's not oh you know the comics are faking that there's this understanding[6:08:23]   between red bar and them now it's like a deep-seated wish there is no understanding[6:08:30]   i am not part of oh it's just listen to how they describe me i always thought it was funny[6:08:37]   i didn't i always thought it was funny like him making fun of my buddy kevin brennan like he made[6:08:42]   him my whole involved in this red bar thing was uh i was doing kevin brennan's podcast and he[6:08:49]   made a song uh for kevin brennan's podcast i'm making fun of kevin what is this song[6:08:54]   well remember when kevin brennan was on they had so many zoom squares i go the brady bun it's like[6:08:59]   the brady bunch oh what and i just go the stupid bunch the nigger bunch that's the way they became[6:09:06]   these fucking idiots that's it imagine if you saw the songs that we actually have about people[6:09:11]   yeah wait till you hear the real songs that are on the deep web that people don't even know are me[6:09:16]   like n bop kill all the gays i get once a week somebody goes you're the guy who made kill all[6:09:23]   dude i am honored you're a god in my world on uh fortune people don't even know i've created[6:09:30]   really some hit songs all right he is dead set i'm thinking that i made a song for kevin brennan[6:09:38]   and he keeps talking about the shot i have no idea about these songs listen to this[6:09:42]   and i go i think it'd be hilarious if he made a theme song for my podcast i'll definitely play it[6:09:47]   or whatever i don't make things hard who's this guy talking about me and then they got me mixed[6:09:52]   up they thought they see that there's this guy named i'm ray davito obviously and there's a[6:09:58]   comedian named the amazing veto who i've known this is like joe matter ish minus all anger and[6:10:04]   meanness yes it's the same brain it's like if joe matter ish was nice you know it's hard to be[6:10:11]   mad at this guy i'm not mad at him at all this is the most innocent of course not this is the best[6:10:16]   compliment i've ever received i feel so bad for he is the most innocent sweet[6:10:25]   i i mean ignorant but in that positive way that you say ignorant you know like[6:10:30]   ignorance is bliss i would do anything for you to keep you alive i mean there are so few people[6:10:37]   like you that are so blissfully innocent with your confusion you you this is the[6:10:49]   you're not gonna believe what he fucking says yeah who that guy is um but i guess he's been[6:10:56]   messaging mike at red bar his wife about trying to get on the show and do songs with them or[6:11:01]   something so they thought it was me and the way i want you guys to pick up on this the way he[6:11:06]   composes a story you'd have to be part of the story to know what the fuck he's talking about[6:11:13]   does anyone get that anxiety when you watch somebody tell a story and you go[6:11:18]   thank god i know what the story is because otherwise whoo and you're watching he's about[6:11:23]   he's gonna tell esther kuh and pat dixon what happened on red bar and only us who had watched[6:11:28]   what had happened will understand and follow and you're going how are they fucking following it's[6:11:34]   like jewels working my hue app i go how the fuck does she know what the hell is happening listen[6:11:42]   to this that uh so they're like all right let's find this rita vita why is this guy messaging my[6:11:47]   wife out of the out of the blue so they thought i was him uh all i know and to show you how popular[6:11:53]   red bar is i mean i got like listen to this two thousand listeners per i average average about[6:11:59]   i get a week to show you how he's about to say to show you how popular red bar[6:12:03]   it's almost like he wants so bad to have an accolade that he's pretending that he's pretend[6:12:10]   well he's fibbing he's exaggerating look out my sleeves getting a little baggy here this might be[6:12:16]   a one and done sweater here uh he's they're so popular it's almost like deep down in his[6:12:23]   subconscious he wants to have done something that is something and so he's telling every[6:12:30]   i mean you we see how he's telling everybody about this again is if like he did kimmel[6:12:36]   is that like x um but uh they're so popular it's almost like he's tricked himself into believing[6:12:43]   this in order to have uh uh a credit under his belt you know you're gonna see his comedy[6:12:52]   flyers gonna be like a comedy central logo mbc and then the red bar logo which is ever-changing[6:12:57]   so god knows which one he'll pick this is not a credit for your stand-up bro this is a minus[6:13:04]   credit at least a thousand listeners per episode uh sometimes depending on who's on it like david[6:13:09]   tell that episode got like 18 000 listens or whatever which is it's fine for me this[6:13:14]   red bar gets like a million easy um this is red bar it gets like a million easy like do you know[6:13:22]   that i would quit red bar if we had a million do people understand red bar literally has like maybe[6:13:30]   4 000 listeners[6:13:35]   really i haven't looked at the numbers in seven or eight years but um it's probably about that[6:13:43]   i mean i don't know where people are getting uh anything bigger than that i would kill myself[6:13:50]   if we had that many of us i mean i i would make news if i said the things that i say on this show[6:13:55]   could not be heard by a million people did you hear what i said about the asian lady today if a[6:14:05]   million people were listening i'd be on the news tonight about what i said we will never have a[6:14:13]   million people ask me mike why don't you want to get big don't you want to get are you out of your[6:14:17]   mind i would be killed if people heard this but anyway so i start getting twitter messages from[6:14:30]   my fans or fans of both of ours like red bar fans another reason why i got to respect red bar we got[6:14:37]   um atticus finch uh the sex bruckton guy on twitter ovio cool cat and this guy franco[6:14:47]   red bar is so small that you talking about us makes a two-hour segment that's how you know[6:14:55]   we don't have a million listeners you're the news story about red bar this week you're the only one[6:15:04]   that's talked about us this whole week okay that's how you know listen and i'm not trying to be self[6:15:11]   deprecating listen we go through great lengths to keep our show very hidden we're very scared[6:15:19]   i mean we're stuck between a rock and getting killed we're very scared about our future who's at[6:15:26]   la lon zero 19 they all listen to my podcast and they all listen to red bar so i'm thinking all[6:15:31]   right this red bar stuff's not so bad red bar red bar red bar some of this even hearing another man[6:15:38]   say red bar is crazy to me this should be an underground unspoken word[6:15:46]   red bar red bar red back shut the fuck up you're gonna get me killed i wouldn't think it's all[6:15:51]   gonna be lightheartedness i never really listened to the show outside of that um and i've since like[6:15:57]   listened to an episode like i realized like oh no they they go um yeah they they go for blood[6:16:05]   for people like that yeah it's well that's true yeah like i was tuning in before uh the skype[6:16:10]   call and i was listening and they're talking about a comedian's like uh sexual assault allegations[6:16:15]   and stuff so i mean they get into some print and i was like all right i was out of my league because[6:16:19]   i mean i'm like this i'm pretty sure what we were talking about was the story about denny and the[6:16:24]   maid is what he's if if somebody said mike would you like a blow job from your favorite instagram[6:16:30]   model or a raid of edo talking about this i'd pick this any day this thrills me anybody else[6:16:40]   do you watch this show do you get thrilled by other people talking about red we gotta cherish[6:16:45]   this time while we have it we could get to a time where it's like oh people are talking about who[6:16:49]   cares right now people talking about red bar is like the top of my interest level as far as[6:16:58]   segments go and every word out of their mouth as long as it's about this show if it's right or[6:17:04]   it's wrong it doesn't matter it's like a 10 right does that feel like that to you same i love what[6:17:11]   about you guys at home isn't it weird because nobody talks about even if it's just one crazy[6:17:16]   guy on youtube talking about it hearing what he takes away from it is like the best that's why i[6:17:22]   love that guy um what's that guy who does the reviews technical difficulties i love that i[6:17:26]   watch every episode i don't care if it's bad or good the way people interpret what's happening[6:17:32]   here to me is so special and so amazing to hear and it doesn't have to be oh it's good it just[6:17:41]   has to be wow that's what you think about it because you know i'm putting almost zero thought[6:17:46]   into what's happening here to be honest you know this is almost like a thing of circumstance i[6:17:53]   started doing this when i was 21 as a gag and then it evolved into this there's not[6:18:01]   you know there's not a lot of thought which i think is a good thing there's not a lot of[6:18:05]   thought that goes into you know what i expect yeah that's how i think of it flow state you[6:18:11]   know i only i'll tell you this i only respect people that do entertainment via flow state i[6:18:21]   really do meaning that stream of consciousness thing that they talk about where it's just like[6:18:27]   the person doesn't know why he said he's just that's what i like that's why i like kanye[6:18:33]   because he just he goes yeah he just goes and that's what i'm into flow state individuals[6:18:41]   flow state motherfucker but hearing what these random people interpret red bar as is like the[6:18:49]   best that's a good explanation as to why i like to do these once a week eight hour shows because[6:18:55]   it gets you into this state where everything is you can't do that in two hours no you have to have[6:19:02]   a good eight hours and you have to get drunk and you have to let yourself go into these things here[6:19:09]   i'm not saying it's remarkable i'm not saying it's incredible but it's at least[6:19:15]   the simplest i don't want to say rawest rawest sounds gay yeah it's the simplest form of what[6:19:23]   i'm trying to say comes out i do think it's raw though it's unsensored i do think it's raw i do[6:19:29]   think it's uncensored it is uncensored and raw for god's sake and uh you my friend have no fucking[6:19:38]   business trying to figure out what i'm doing here well you have no fucking business let's hear what[6:19:43]   he thinks the light-hearted dude i'll make like little jokes i didn't realize it like isn't really[6:19:48]   lightheartedness that it's they'll get into some heavy stuff and it's like all right i i was out of[6:19:56]   my it's like if you walked into a casino in tombstone and you're like all right i like these[6:20:03]   casino and tombstone very cool very cool descriptor of me dude red bar's like if you[6:20:09]   walked into a casino in tombstone a town that doesn't exist from a movie yes it is sure and[6:20:16]   you're probably gonna get shot i'm gonna play some cards play some poker gamble a little bit[6:20:21]   and it's johnny ringo and uh doc holliday pointing pistols at each other it's like all right this is[6:20:28]   uh it's this is more heavy than what i than what i thought it was gonna be wow this is crazy and[6:20:34]   i didn't realize that till yesterday when i like re-listened to the episodes like yeah it's it's uh[6:20:40]   wouldn't that be funny he's a guest on the episode but he has to re-listen to the whole eight and a[6:20:44]   half hours to figure out well i was a guest on the show i might as well start from minute one[6:20:50]   oh what an experience starting from minute one of red bar yikes talk about a fucking nose dive[6:20:57]   into an endless pool yikes but people do it you know that's why i want i want the people[6:21:05]   you gotta listen from minute one to minute nine thousand or whatever eight hours is i want to[6:21:12]   make it even harder to hear the show i want to do 52 hour shows oh you missed something in the 49th[6:21:19]   hour what a fag and to this dude mike's credit uh he he built an empire with it um you know like[6:21:28]   i had kurt metzger on this episode and i was telling kurt like how i think he's hilarious[6:21:32]   because he'll make you told kurt metzger that i was hilarious oh i forgot i didn't hear that[6:21:37]   no i've never heard this intro you told kurt metzger that i was hilarious[6:21:43]   you don't want to hear that and what did he say with it um you know like i had kurt metzger on[6:21:49]   this episode and i was telling kurt like how i think he's hilarious because he'll make jokes[6:21:53]   to the left and the right and like i'm saying like our buddies like fugo sang just sticks to the left[6:21:58]   and shalu just sticks to the right uh i go and i go i think it's great that you just do both and[6:22:03]   he's like there's a reason why they have shows on fox news and on fraction radio because and[6:22:09]   they're wildly successful because they they found their market they found their niche that's what[6:22:13]   they do and that's what mike from red bar did he's very charismatic dude i'm sure he's very funny[6:22:18]   if he wanted to do jokes he found a niche doing this and uh if he wanted to do jokes he could[6:22:25]   oh thanks oh wow you don't find this to be jokey[6:22:33]   was any leader man around while you were saying this because i want to be clear[6:22:36]   any leader man around while you were saying this because i want to be close friends i[6:22:39]   know we would like any leader man to come over to our home[6:22:43]   is that something you could arrange could you tell any leader man[6:22:47]   and uh hats off to him it's widely successful yeah um you know people people do love it so[6:22:55]   yeah i uh i just wanted i'm not gonna talk about red bar bunch because i don't want to yes they're[6:23:00]   in their scope for anything or and also yeah he's he was right when he's like oh yeah yeah i[6:23:06]   moved back to cleveland staying at my sister's place doing vfw gigs are all things unbeknownst[6:23:12]   to me i did not know you moved back to he's right i did move back to cleveland i am with my sister[6:23:17]   what the fuck didn't we guess i didn't know that you're in cleveland at your sister's place[6:23:27]   it'll give me 200 bucks or whatever uh so yeah so yeah he yeah when covid hit i had like five[6:23:33]   thousand dollars worth worth canceled oh my god so yeah it hasn't been the greatest year this is[6:23:38]   unbelievable listen yeah i can't shit on the dude and then also like he was like playing around[6:23:44]   uh playing around on the show he's like uh all right if you show me a fork i'll give you fifty[6:23:48]   dollars on there and i cannot think i was gonna get i mean i thought it was just a joke and like[6:23:54]   me like all right i'm here i'm playing along i know i'm not gonna do anything stupid so here's[6:23:58]   there he is uh he um he goes show me a fork and show me your arm i did that and he goes all right[6:24:05]   i'll give you 150 for that all right whatever again not expecting to get out of the money then[6:24:09]   he's like all right take the fork and and i was like all right then it was all right this is[6:24:13]   and not expect to get out of it he sent me 300 wow yeah yeah he's a man i thought it was all[6:24:21]   the jokes and i'm not gonna lie i was thankful to get the 300 considering i'm giving people[6:24:28]   that they like 300 i will give you a million to keep talking like this i'll give up my life[6:24:36]   savings this is what my new thing i want to pay every comic as much as i can to start infiltrating[6:24:43]   their minds with this red bar red bar you can skip ahead a little because he basically repeats[6:24:49]   everything really so you can go to 8 45 8 45 let's see what happens when esther appears and then he[6:24:56]   tells her all the same tells her the whole story again i was this is crazy i mean we're skipping[6:25:03]   over red bar stuff have you ever seen that he's talking so much red bar we gotta skip over red bar[6:25:10]   to get to more stuff look at this nothing mean about anybody i'm trying to be the nice guy i'm[6:25:17]   trying to bring people together for christ's sake all right i love all you guys peace[6:25:23]   it's a bump because pat dixon was supposed to do this now he starts to show with esther ku[6:25:31]   i mean literally i've carved pumpkins that are less freaking freaky than this[6:25:38]   are there even eyeballs here let me look i'm sorry there are no eyeballs here that is a black abyss[6:25:46]   okay pretty cool i mean literally this is a person with no eyes[6:25:55]   i don't know how far you want me to zoom it's just going to turn all black[6:25:59]   it's a person with no eyes esther ku you've heard her on opie and anthony[6:26:05]   she was the reason that opie and jim got together that's the reason that he has her on this episode[6:26:10]   to talk about why opie and jim stopped doing a podcast together because she was the last person[6:26:16]   on the episode but didn't happen like five years ago how is this not the ace man without meeting[6:26:22]   jimmy kimmel i mean this is what adam corolla would have been if he never met anybody and he[6:26:27]   also got knocked on the head with a wrench let's hear what happens here get into this i did um[6:26:35]   are you familiar with uh um red bar the comedy show red bar oh you are okay oh you are i thought[6:26:42]   she said no yep you're familiar with red bar too sickening bro are you familiar with red[6:26:51]   bar the comedy show yes why are you fucks familiar with red bar this is not how it's meant to be[6:27:01]   are you familiar with right yes let's hear more i i don't know much i don't know i don't know much[6:27:11]   about him uh by the way man it's i guess the guy mike is his name and um he's got a[6:27:20]   uh very successful show like they got like i i know like at least over a few hundred thousand[6:27:28]   listeners people that follow it but uh so he's always giving uh yeah and i only know of them[6:27:33]   because he gives crap to my uh my friends uh look at her face like i know this is what i[6:27:39]   meant about telling a story to somebody i won't tell a story to somebody unless i am 100 sure[6:27:47]   i could make them follow along and envision exactly what i'm saying like you hear how i[6:27:53]   tell a story on the show i make sure even the dumbest person listening understands what i'm[6:27:59]   talking about he's telling a story talk about taylor swift's blank space does she how the[6:28:10]   fuck are you fine and english is your third language someone says whenever a comedian[6:28:16]   mentions red bar on a podcast it's like when a cop shines a flashlight on your face yes it is[6:28:24]   don't worry officer i swear i'm not drunk i'm just surprised by the light[6:28:28]   a compound media because i guess he worked there so anyone associated compound media[6:28:33]   i i guess he automatically doesn't like and then also like he'll shit on kevin brennan a lot and[6:28:41]   you know kevin brennan i want you to erase your memory of what red bar is and our interaction with[6:28:47]   him imagine you're her and you just have to understand what he's saying based on his story[6:28:54]   alone try to follow his story without knowing any inference erase your mind see if you can do it[6:29:02]   what do you know kevin brennan of course i know kevin brennan oh you do okay all right yeah yeah[6:29:07]   uh so like a lot of times like he'll uh so i was doing kevin's podcast last week and i've only seen[6:29:14]   clips of it because it's people putting on clips of him like uh and i just thought it was hilarious[6:29:20]   of like if all the guy does is go of him getting in fights with people no no not him getting in[6:29:25]   fights no and i'm not talking about count i'm talking about red bar like all the videos that[6:29:30]   they have seem to be just them like uh uh essentially just shitting on other comedians[6:29:38]   podcasts and other comedians comedy and stuff and when it's my friends i think it's hilarious like[6:29:42]   they're just taking shots at them whatever like making fun of kevin or making fun of dave landau[6:29:46]   or or christian mary or whatever and it's just whatever and uh imagine listening to another[6:29:52]   person's fucking story i i watch these podcasts guess i go all right do you care do you give a[6:30:00]   fuck how are you if somebody told me a story like this by the time they were done i'd be like this[6:30:06]   huh like have you ever like had to slap yourself in class because the teacher just talked to you[6:30:14]   for 45 minutes and you go i don't know what the fuck she just said i was envisioning a whole[6:30:20]   other thing how do these podcast guests know what the fuck people are talking about half the time[6:30:26]   especially when it's a long-winded story by this soulless fool uh let's hear some more listen to[6:30:34]   this i was doing kevin's podcast and he made a theme song they made a theme song for kevin's[6:30:39]   podcast so i said if they make a theme song for my podcast i'll i'll definitely play it[6:30:45]   i'll definitely play it uh and then i guess yesterday on red bar they made a theme song[6:30:53]   for my podcast yeah that's your theme song the electric chair i've never made a theme song for[6:31:02]   any podcast ever except for keith or uh uh free talk live a libertarian talk show out of new[6:31:09]   hampshire i did not make you a theme song you envisioned that and you're brainlet and look at[6:31:16]   her face is this what she just got on the show she's been berated with this story that only i[6:31:28]   can follow like hey they're they're they're they made a theme song for you on red bar and i was[6:31:33]   like ah dude i definitely said i'll play it i don't know how to get a copy of it because i[6:31:37]   wasn't listening um i would tune in a little bit but that is i guess it's like an eight-hour show[6:31:43]   so i guess it was like messing on i had so much information you're going what the fuck are you[6:31:48]   talking about theme song it's an eight-hour show what the fuck is your point but she's actually[6:31:53]   following which is what's so weird she actually just nodding well when he stops talking she[6:32:04]   responds like she understands what she said if somebody was talking to me like[6:32:08]   this about a situation that i was involved in i'd be i have no fucking idea what you just talked[6:32:13]   about so they made me a theme song but i didn't get to hear it and then people are messaging me[6:32:19]   like uh you should call in you should call in they want you to call in and were they talking[6:32:24]   shit about you see uh i i guess they were talking about me and also like how do you even know that[6:32:30]   were they talking shit about you were actually listening to what he was saying how why that to[6:32:35]   me is the main story here yes right how did you follow what that guy was why are you even involved[6:32:44]   with him i guess not only that they uh they got the wrong guy they thought i was some guy named[6:32:52]   the amazing veto like because they don't know who i am they just know me as a guest on like uh[6:32:58]   other people's podcasts and stuff so they thought i was this random guy the amazing veto or whatever[6:33:05]   that's like the thing so it's like he's making jokes but he's like doing them at the expense of[6:33:08]   this whoever this veto guy is uh which which is fine like i'm very self-deprecating so i i didn't[6:33:14]   mind so i was a little they thought you were they thought you were adam corolla's cousin with cancer[6:33:20]   oh is that what i know i look like shit ku slam wait wait wait i know she goes they thought you[6:33:26]   were adam corolla's cousin with kanta and he does look like you know i've been saying it the whole[6:33:32]   time adam corolla the ace man and look what this poor fuck says he goes yeah i do look like shit[6:33:40]   don't say that even if i had zits coming out farther than my nose if my eyes were bleeding[6:33:48]   pus i would not say i look like shit i don't think that way about myself this low self-esteem[6:33:55]   era of people i couldn't imagine it disgusts you if i ever wake up and then look here and go[6:34:02]   then michael i hate self-deprecation i hate when people are low about themselves i hate when[6:34:08]   i hate when someone's like oh i look ugly shut the fuck up you're great you're not great trust[6:34:15]   me i got worse things to say worse than your deepest fucking fears could ever imagine but[6:34:21]   listen to this cheers i do look like crap i usually look better than this but i look pretty[6:34:27]   i look pretty brutal it's not you it's the lighting look at it i could if i turn it off[6:34:33]   does that does that help out uh oh just keeping on i am i am so he actually changes the lighting[6:34:41]   to three different form factors and they're all equally bad and she's going oh maybe it's not the[6:34:47]   lighting you've showed me three different examples of different lighting and you look bad in all of[6:34:54]   them so you just look back imagine being a person that looks so bad that everybody agrees you look[6:35:01]   bad you're like i'm sure there are people out there that think i look bad but there are also[6:35:05]   a lot of people that think i'm you know like jewels thinks i i'll like be laying there and i[6:35:11]   think i look like a troll coming out of kumail nanjiani's tits and she's like you are so cute[6:35:18]   because she's obsessed but imagine being a guy that everyone agrees looks awful i can't imagine[6:35:26]   that what's it like being a guy that everyone agrees is handsome that's not true half our[6:35:33]   listener base more than half 75 of our listener base thinks like i'm al-qaeda sludge coming out[6:35:40]   of india's deepest darkest realm really but in jewels's eyes so for you don't know in jewels's[6:35:47]   eyes i'm like harry styles i mean look at your cute little eyebrows you got long eyelashes she's[6:35:54]   obsessed there are a lot of eyelashes but that's what i'm saying at least there's a split imagine[6:35:59]   a person where everybody hands down show your nose how straight it is everybody hands down[6:36:05]   no and imagine having to admit to that and living with that and i'm sure a lot of you guys do[6:36:11]   that's a shame you know i was always told how beautiful i was by my parents and my grandparents[6:36:16]   always beautiful beautiful so in my head i'm but in his head he's garbage imagine having a dad[6:36:24]   that doesn't give a fuck about you a mom and i my heart goes out to those people i had very loving[6:36:30]   parents they're very complimentary all the way through and i still am so negative and cynical[6:36:39]   so imagine what it would be like to constantly even your own dad and mom are telling you you're[6:36:43]   crap you hear this from these comedians my dad oh you can never be a comic you're not funny you're[6:36:49]   crap this is what these people say i can't imagine that i would really be like traumatized if my[6:36:56]   parents said that to me if my dad told me i was crap i would like be crying about that i think[6:37:02]   right yeah of course these guys say that their dad oh my dad said i wasn't shit they hate a good[6:37:08]   parent look yeah i wish my parents died you don't mean that i do i'm done with them[6:37:15]   they got a blog about that one all right listen to this this gets better yeah i've never been any[6:37:20]   eye candy um man so anyway so uh i've never been eye candy imagine it and she's like[6:37:29]   he's like i know i look like crap i've never been much of a eye candy and she's like[6:37:35]   he wants her to go oh no you're not that bad but yeah you're a[6:37:40]   isn't that a shame sometimes you got to think of the forgettable sometimes i think about the black[6:37:46]   man who is on the grammy awards they're on the oscars saying oh my god it's we're untreated we're[6:37:52]   treated so forth and then i think about the forgotten man who's more mistreated than him[6:37:59]   who's more mistreated than the ugly you know and i feel like black people have[6:38:05]   have it they're confused so like a black person's going around and like everyone's not celebrating[6:38:11]   them and maybe they what do you think an ugly person goes through they go through worse[6:38:17]   discrimination than you like an ugly fat person has a worse life than the shittiest black guy[6:38:26]   unless the black person is ugly and fat but they're pretty good at it and they're not[6:38:32]   the black person is ugly and fat but they're pretty hot you know i always say that i go[6:38:39]   you know how many ugly whites no one's holding the door for them[6:38:44]   no one's talking to them nobody's giving them special treatment you know but black people[6:38:52]   i think they have it twisted i think every black person thinks any person not being into them is[6:38:59]   like a discrimination-based thing whereas like if you're an ugly fat white you've been[6:39:06]   discriminated and ostracized and kicked to the side your whole life but there's nobody to blame[6:39:13]   it on and i really think asians and blacks and all these people they get confused thinking that[6:39:21]   their bad moods and their blues are because of race whereas we all go through the blues we all[6:39:30]   get uh kicked to the side we all get uh kicked to the curb once in a while but i think every time a[6:39:36]   black man gets kicked to the curb every time he's denied by a woman or treated poorly by anybody i[6:39:43]   think they think this has got to be that racism that my mammy keeps telling me about and i wish[6:39:49]   i could explain to them the ugly the fat they go through this every day too it's the unwanted the[6:39:57]   undesirables are treated as such they're ostracized no matter who they are you know the scary-looking[6:40:05]   gangster black man is treated just the same way as a white punk rocker is treated you know i've[6:40:13]   lived through this try try uh uh you're discriminated against as a white punk rocker[6:40:18]   well i'll tell you this you know i heard a black man going you know i was watching the bachelor[6:40:24]   i was watching matt james who by the way we have a photograph of matt james in our living room[6:40:30]   and people go hey who's that i go oh that's barack obama and michelle obama that's a long story but[6:40:38]   matt james goes uh i just you know want to relate to the people he black guy on the bachelor and he[6:40:45]   goes i just want to relate to the people who like you're the only one in the room who's like this[6:40:49]   and you know everybody's looking at you and everybody's like but i'm like wait wait wait[6:40:54]   if you're like a fat ugly guy everyone in there you're not like anyone in the room either you[6:40:59]   just as equally feel uncomfortable when you're around the mainstream group i feel that same way[6:41:05]   too i was a punk when i was a kid i had pink spiked hair and all this shit i felt not welcome[6:41:14]   too but my unwelcomeness was not you know given any nobody cared i did it to myself right um[6:41:25]   so uh i think black people i think all these races have it confused they think any discomfort they[6:41:31]   feel is like a racism thing whereas they don't really understand every human being even brad pitt[6:41:39]   is uncomfortable at times and feels like the group or the room doesn't get them or doesn't like them[6:41:46]   but i really feel like black people do not understand that everyone goes through this and[6:41:52]   i feel like no one explains that to them and i feel like that's why this is getting out of hand[6:41:56]   because they think every time they feel bad it's a racism maybe you don't understand what they're[6:42:04]   growing through because you're not black well if i were black i'd shoot the fuck out of every school[6:42:09]   i'd be the biggest killer if i was black i would be the biggest look at this look at this mike is[6:42:16]   still unwelcome by 90 of society and look at me it's true when i go to the grocery store i feel[6:42:22]   like i'm the odd man out i really wherever i go i feel like i'm the crazy one that they won't get[6:42:30]   i'm the same right well okay let's say i go to a synagogue i still feel uh-oh[6:42:38]   they're all looking at me i'm causing trouble because[6:42:42]   you know i feel different than them i feel like there's a lot of people who feel different[6:42:48]   that doesn't mean it's a racist thing you're allowed to feel different you're allowed to[6:42:51]   feel unwelcomed i wish somebody would explain this to people i feel like there's a big[6:42:58]   misunderstanding going on in half 75 of the racism they feel is just feeling uncomfortable[6:43:06]   the way we all feel uncomfortable if i feel welcome anywhere for a second it's like winning the lottery[6:43:14]   really you feel comfortable at most i mean you're uncomfortable she won't even talk[6:43:19]   to people she's so scared she won't even talk to the lousy uber drivers she's like intimidated by[6:43:27]   them and you're thinking well there's probably black people intimidated by the driver and they[6:43:31]   think it's a race thing because that's what they're told right is anyone going to unwind[6:43:38]   this mess or just me all right back to ray devito and ching chang chong listen to this stuff you[6:43:47]   gotta love this they're like you're gonna love it i guess they made a theme song whatever they[6:43:52]   uh call in and like part of me is like i um i don't mind if they shit on me or whatever but[6:43:57]   i was a little skeptical so i i tuned in to like listen to a little bit and then they were talking[6:44:02]   about some comedian that's uh i don't know sexually assaulted another girl they're like[6:44:07]   playing the podcast clips of him like talking about sexually and i was like all right so i[6:44:11]   just commented i was all right this is a little heavy like i don't mind calling it but this is[6:44:14]   this is a heavy topic i don't know uh i thought this was like gonna be some lightheartedness[6:44:19]   and then i got a message like i'll call in call we're gonna call and skype you[6:44:23]   i was like all right so they did that and then immediately started uh i don't think he likes[6:44:30]   a lot of comedians which is which is fine so what the fuck's happening in the chat[6:44:35]   what there are people like pontificating about my little statements here[6:44:41]   you gave them stuff to think about do not pontificate amongst yourselves about what[6:44:46]   i've just said alligator no no no the chat in the show is meant for ha ha ha lol[6:44:55]   and adding to what you're scaring elizabeth ai yeah i see people pontificating we find that gay[6:45:04]   here at red bar there's no pontif you want to pontificate you get a show you get a light show[6:45:10]   you get a light show you get a smoke machine you get a light you get a 700 mic you're doing beaver[6:45:15]   you're doing poppers then you can pontificate not in the chat lol's and ha ha ha's[6:45:28]   they crazy they crazy deal with it no no no no one talks back to me either[6:45:33]   so there's a good guy imagine pontificating this chat is about ha ha ha and adding to insult[6:45:42]   injury to insult you say asian asian asian asian come up with your best asian joke[6:45:48]   here we go he's immediately telling me how i'm not funny how he's thinking all that i'm like[6:45:52]   all right at least you're familiar with my comedy like you know i'm just i'm just going along with[6:45:57]   it it's fine like i know the guy does he thinks i'm the amazing video so maybe maybe he would[6:46:02]   love my comedy he just proper died too amazing veto is atrocious sorry this is what the hell[6:46:07]   is the amazing veto i know i don't know and i went on his twitter page this amazing video[6:46:12]   we should have the amazing veto on can you contact him get him on today[6:46:18]   jules oh my god uh i think so what do you mean you think so get to it i actually feel like he[6:46:23]   said something mean to me in the last i don't care and then i didn't get him on i want to know this[6:46:27]   amazing veto because there's so much talk about this other guy he's been messaging you i don't[6:46:33]   like when people message my wife by the way you messaged me i didn't respond to him last time[6:46:37]   okay let's hear this i said he he was sitting at his computer waiting to call in the whole time[6:46:42]   we were talking about this other guy so i messaged him after the show and said ha ha ha we are so[6:46:47]   sorry and then he messaged me back and said i just watched the clip you owe me 150 bucks lol[6:46:54]   tell mike we're starting our own podcast no zoom call bullshit and tell him i think you[6:46:59]   got an amazing rack so then i ignored him and hate him now what the fuck really yes i forgot[6:47:10]   this guy said all that to you yes are people why are people talking to my wife this is my property[6:47:15]   you fucking idiot get him i want him on the show i want him on the show now do whatever it takes[6:47:21]   jules this is all you need to know if he doesn't come on the show it's your ass your little white[6:47:28]   ass i was gonna say every time someone references my rack that's a rape to me a child right get him[6:47:36]   on the show stop raping me i want him on he'll get a million dollars well not a minute these[6:47:42]   people hold you to it he'll get uh 200 bucks i want him on now i want to ask what the hell[6:47:50]   this guy's even messaging us for you're not involved in this this is ready to veto[6:47:55]   what the fuck is this amazing veto even involved in this for i can't even follow it myself and i'm[6:48:00]   the host do you understand who is he why is he involved in this story does anyone else know[6:48:08]   have you ever heard anything like this there's another guy with a similar name who's involved[6:48:14]   in this unbeknownst done involved we didn't get him on the line now or else let's hear more of[6:48:22]   this oh and uh he's only got like 150 twitter followers so he must not be that amazing uh[6:48:31]   you know what at least you're getting mixed up for somebody else when they're talking shit about you[6:48:36]   yeah yeah it's when they're talking shit about me it's always about me yeah here's the amazing[6:48:41]   veto it's got 320 even this guy knows more about i'm sure he's very funny i'm sure he's[6:48:46]   a great guy um you know what i'll follow him there sounds great 329 i will follow you the amazing[6:48:52]   veto but anyway so it's fine but then he started uh and i don't mind him like i'm not i'm not gonna[6:48:59]   talk shit about my friends but he can like but then he got into like uh somebody just said does[6:49:04]   jewels even have it she's got the biggest fucking d's i've ever seen they're so big they put me to[6:49:09]   sleep half the time when she rolls over to me she's going like this right now shaking the whole[6:49:17]   room shaking her maybe i do have a rack yeah you do these things yeah maybe i'll squeeze them so[6:49:24]   hard that they bleed i'd like to rip those chits off and smash them those big and heavies i'd smash[6:49:32]   them into bug something chrissy you gotta hear this he just listened to a show about[6:49:41]   chrissy mare she probably made a joke about taking someone's christmas presents[6:49:47]   but he was saying like like i know he doesn't know her i know he wasn't at this party with her[6:49:51]   and saw her steal a bunch of people's christmas presents i'm sure so he's trying to say like[6:49:58]   listen to this my message is getting out there chrissy marsh deals christmas presents[6:50:03]   you know she's on a campaign pretending it's all trolling we must not let that happen so here you[6:50:10]   have it here he's infected now with the chrissy's telling oh chrissy marsh deals christmas present[6:50:16]   how are you following along to this story listen to this uh deep whatever which i wasn't at that[6:50:22]   party either i don't know i know chrissy she's been in my apartment i never felt unsafe with her[6:50:26]   being in my apartment like things might get stolen or anything so uh you wouldn't notice[6:50:34]   you don't have anything to steal my friend what are they going to steal[6:50:37]   a wall from your apartment well i'm not kidding in this episode he literally goes on about this[6:50:44]   situation for like the full hour and the full episode is about us and he just repeats his story[6:50:50]   keep listening from here i want to keep listening to stop because he just keeps going and then he[6:50:55]   talks to esther about her for like one minute and then keeps interjecting with red bar stuff[6:51:00]   like she'll be like uh how's opie doing these days and he's like opie's gonna be seen on red[6:51:05]   bar with a fork so yeah we're about seven minutes or uh ten minutes away from the seven hour mark[6:51:13]   oh my god um i've got a lot more to say today i gotta sober up[6:51:20]   um i think i want to do 12 hours today[6:51:34]   let's continue with ray devito let's see what he says let's see what he says about christy[6:51:41]   i am feeling kind of crunk already here i mean that's a lot to drink out of this that's fucking[6:51:46]   crazy well it's not that much i mean most of it was the thin tube portion that's true but this[6:51:53]   is much wider than a regular bottle so this wideness area that's a lot well i'm feeling[6:51:58]   pretty sick plus i drank out of this tiki god knows what's in there this we'll do jenco and[6:52:04]   that'll make you feel better okay thank you that's whatever but i like i wasn't going to[6:52:07]   shit on my friends but it and then he goes it gets you podcast views so you kind of have to[6:52:13]   listen to this it's impressive what the guy's built like whatever the dude's built man he's[6:52:18]   got like there's literally like uh thousands of people interacting as it's going on you know[6:52:23]   like tweeting at me i got like 30 twitter followers last night during all i got like[6:52:28]   30 twitter followers last night so we must have a million people listening[6:52:33]   imagine that a million people see you and 30 people follow you back[6:52:38]   that sucks those are bad numbers is that how he got the million from i'm well yeah it's because[6:52:47]   he got 30 twitter followers after this people who are following him to see if he says anything more[6:52:53]   about red bar that's nothing so to him that must mean there's a million listeners because he does[6:52:58]   anthony kumia he gets no followers he does kevin brennan show he gets no followers he does all[6:53:05]   these shows and imagine i always say this imagine if i was on as many podcasts as these asshats[6:53:13]   you know you're watching josh denny he's on a podcast today i would be jay-z level[6:53:21]   if i were on that many podcasts i'd be too celebrated too big[6:53:28]   so you were on red bar you got 30 fake followers to see if you say anything about that crazy stupid[6:53:34]   appearance that only we would care about you know you're nobody so we must have a million viewers if[6:53:42]   you got 30 followers in return all this so like it's fine and then a lot of my fans are also his[6:53:48]   fans which i didn't know like there's a lot of people like you should be like um i think you[6:53:52]   guys are following the wrong guy you should be following the amazing veto not me no they can[6:53:57]   follow me i don't know they they can see my jokes right there it's fine but then uh he goes he goes[6:54:05]   uh do you want to make some money and considering i was closing out a bar show last night in[6:54:09]   cleveland and getting 50 bucks i was like he's like you want to make a thousand dollars i was[6:54:14]   like he's like you're like mine's actual worth a thousand dollars and then he goes uh he goes uh[6:54:21]   take off your shirt and i'm like all right listen listen listen look i knew it was going to get[6:54:24]   weird but at the same time i'm i'm game to play i didn't take off my shirt or anything and then uh[6:54:30]   he goes all right well get a get a he goes let me see your arms i show him my arm he goes[6:54:35]   show me a fork i show him up he'll give you a hundred dollars if you show me a fork so i'm[6:54:38]   up to 150 and he goes take the fork put it over i was like all right this is all right no he goes[6:54:44]   let me see your arms this is what this person is repeating to another human being i was on this[6:54:51]   show he goes let me see your arms all right i got 100 bucks for that he goes hey you got a[6:54:55]   fork go get a fork i got another 50 bucks i'm up to 150 guys this is what my nightmares are are[6:55:06]   made of you understand as if i know what the fuck i'm saying to these people i want more[6:55:12]   interviews i want that amazing devita one i want to see what he'll do for some cash[6:55:16]   so i'm on the show he says show me your arms you know what the fuck how is she interpreting this[6:55:25]   so he was on a show he's saying show me your arms what the fuck does that mean to another human[6:55:30]   being that wasn't there i go all right i'm out take the razor blade and slice your wrist yeah[6:55:37]   i think that's what he was two thousand dollars yeah i think that's what he was going at something[6:55:42]   something like that like somewhere i'm gonna and it's like all right she's actually he's like yeah[6:55:45]   take a razor blade and yeah i think that's what he was going for really and you were okay with this[6:55:53]   very very hostile remember the movie hostile truly you okay you okay my dog wake up bro[6:56:05]   fucking standing there you should see my dog standing in the corner[6:56:08]   hello you okay bro wake the fuck up i i tap out on 100 and i totally did not expect to get any[6:56:17]   of the money like i just thought it was like just a gag just having fun guess what he venmo'd me[6:56:22]   uh 300 last night who did um mike had a red bar so yeah the dude did so hey that's more than the[6:56:32]   50 bucks i was getting for headlining a bar show in cleveland exactly yes i just want the[6:56:38]   people to know yes he did give me uh he did send the money he said he was gonna that's awesome[6:56:44]   yeah he paid me double and i'll be honest i thought he was just joking like i really wasn't[6:56:48]   expecting part of me is like all right i'm in the podcast business let's like this is all new to me[6:56:54]   i just started a patreon i got some fans i'm thankful to have some fans so i was like yeah[6:56:59]   i'll play along see what's up with this i mean i knew i wasn't gonna do anything humiliating but[6:57:04]   it's like all right you're gonna give me 50 for just showing you my arm and then like all right[6:57:09]   here's a hundred dollars if you show me a fork i was like there you go and he's like all right[6:57:13]   now i want you to do this i was like all right now i'm out so i was like all right i'm not[6:57:18]   but to the dude's credit he did give me 300. nice yeah they got listeners and uh they got listeners[6:57:26]   i have to respect what they built whatever wow has anything like that ever happened to you ku[6:57:30]   i know you're oh yeah that's how you related anything like that ever happened to you with[6:57:35]   red bar and uh paying you for the fork stuff in the arm all right we'll wait for jewels to get back[6:57:43]   god knows what she's doing out there she ran out of the room i don't know what time[6:57:48]   code to go to next so we'll just patiently wait for her to get back[6:57:54]   and um we'll see what she does again the dog is acting like a fucking creep mike pays this is a[6:58:02]   reminder to hiss i'm not a complete bitch i can't even cover this stuff anymore i mean imagine[6:58:09]   people are talking about you for so long you can't cover it all because you only have eight to ten[6:58:13]   hours to do a show all right we're waiting for jewels to get back and uh when she gets back we'll[6:58:21]   get to the next time code here i can't listen to this all day i mean half of these show notes they[6:58:27]   take all day to get to jewels is taking his shit someone says i hope not i really hope not if i[6:58:36]   found out she was doing something like that believe me she'd be cut out mike you need to go to[6:58:42]   131 16 people are other people are giving me time because i can't trust those those could be uh[6:58:49]   jewels slipping into something more comfortable yeah maybe tonight huh[6:58:58]   mike from red bar mike can you look at your tiki mug looks like george floyd yeah i agree[6:59:05]   very floyd idiom mike we want to know if jewels cut your hair i cut my hair myself by the way she[6:59:12]   if jewels cut your hair i cut my hair myself by the way she couldn't be capable of this type of[6:59:18]   cut i haven't gone to a barber since covet so i yeah i cut my own hair uh she's rotating that rack[6:59:29]   yeah at least you put in a full work day mike thank you yeah fraudulent codes thank you camera[6:59:36]   malik listening is very nice to know that he's heard red bar i always just imagine he turns it[6:59:42]   on he goes to sleep this reminds me of old red bar before jewels oh yeah that's when things were[6:59:48]   good right now things suck red bar was better when i first listened to it and it was exciting[6:59:57]   all right we need a new time code we've all been waiting on you where were you taking a little[7:00:01]   dump i actually was taking one of those long peas you've spoken about you pissed out hot vinegar[7:00:09]   into my bowl disgusting all right what's our next time code here well we've heard uh 1746[7:00:16]   i'm done with this you can quickly skip to the part 57 45 where he brings you up to pat dixon[7:00:22]   okay so pat dixon comes on 57 45 and pat dixon comes on and remember he works for compound[7:00:31]   media there he is pat dixon he does this show new york crime report it's awful uh he's so weird[7:00:39]   at first i thought pat was like uh a with it guy i really did like when i first met him or when i[7:00:46]   first knew about him i go oh he's like a with it guy he's part of the new york comedy scene he's[7:00:51]   like uh i thought he was like a kurt metzger level nick maulin guy turns out he's a fucking freak[7:00:59]   i mean he's like nothing he does his show still on compound for 125 a week no one is listening[7:01:06]   and you know he's been there through the whole time i mean he's seen and we now know that you[7:01:11]   know you see what gavin went through with compound media this whole compound media was uh[7:01:16]   head over heels during my attack on their network so it's interesting to hear how he interprets me[7:01:25]   you know i've never heard someone bring him up to me or uh bring me up to him yeah[7:01:32]   up to him yeah and you you think you know he works for kumi he's got to be like geno where he[7:01:38]   despises me well let's see how he handles hearing about red bar interesting huh it probably it[7:01:46]   probably does get a lot of uh you know like bacteria and whatnot and plus it looks yeah[7:01:55]   i was pat i was telling ku uh i did uh red bar yesterday i never did red bar before they were[7:02:01]   just did you see his face can i go like back like this look at his face he goes i did red bar[7:02:10]   yesterday look he's even wearing sunglasses but look at his face did uh red bar yesterday i never[7:02:17]   did red bar before they were just uh whoa to him doing red bar that's like doing heroin whoa buddy[7:02:28]   you did red bar as a comic yikes yeah yeah that was uh it was interesting it was such a great[7:02:38]   appearance they thought he was another comedian yeah they thought i was some other guy the amazing[7:02:42]   veto uh so now esther's like some magician guy in uh with 175 followers what did you say so now[7:02:51]   esther's like in on the story yeah this is like when you're hanging out with two friends and then[7:02:56]   one friend yeah yeah and he showed him his arm and then the other friend shows up and then you're[7:03:00]   both three tell him about the fork you knew about that you didn't even understand you didn't even[7:03:07]   you know this to me is so surreal so let's hear how pat dixon interprets the exact same story[7:03:12]   twitter they thought that's who i was uh i think they did that on purpose just because like they[7:03:18]   yeah yeah yeah but yeah he just uh i knew he was gonna i only know him because like doing[7:03:27]   like kevin brennan's show a bunch and he just like shits on all my friends so i kind of knew[7:03:33]   that was a thing but i said they did it well come on sure yeah absolutely[7:03:41]   well i did say if they did a theme song for my podcast i'd play it and then uh i just how do[7:03:46]   we got this uh amazing veto where are we at with him he didn't respond yet did it respond everybody[7:03:51]   get on it amazing veto who else did i want i said i wanted everybody to do something too[7:03:58]   today to call out to somebody today then we have something else in the show notes where i go i'll[7:04:03]   ask the people to go i'll go bother them um yes it was tinkus oh really it was oh yeah okay[7:04:12]   no i don't know if we'll go over that we can go over next show next show[7:04:16]   i feel really bad i feel like i uh got a lot more to tell people but not a lot more energy bars[7:04:26]   you know we should have on the bottom of the red bull no yeah on the top of the screen we should[7:04:31]   have a life level like a street fighter perfect perfect says kanye because he played one video[7:04:39]   game um poor kanye huh getting divorced i got so much to tell you i could be here all week if i[7:04:47]   had the energy it would i would never stop i would just keep telling you about what i've seen i mean[7:04:54]   it could go on every week we probably have a hundred more show notes that i could do three[7:04:59]   hours on it really is bad we got janko i got a red bull here so we're gonna pump me up you know[7:05:08]   it's been uh seven hours we've been on for seven hours straight feels like two feels like two[7:05:19]   it's the sound of jules's all that stuff about pat dixon's divorce yeah exactly here we go[7:05:24]   somewhere oh you know what i like to shoot red bull i don't like to sip it i like to shoot it[7:05:30]   cheers to all the queers in the nation and all the transvestites cheers to you guys[7:05:44]   i want to continue this bit but i think i should um do something right now to celebrate this moment[7:05:51]   i love being here with you guys if it were up to me we'd be here every day you'd get sick of it[7:05:57]   you'd start hating[7:06:02]   let's see how many shots of this red bull we could do you know the problem with rebel they need to[7:06:05]   make an un they keep making oh diet red bull blue red bull how about an uncarbonized red bull for[7:06:11]   mike so i don't get full i drink i could barely drink half a can of red bull without going oh[7:06:18]   guys i'm sorry i'm stuffed i gotta take a break it doesn't wake me up at all by the way red bull[7:06:25]   did you know that[7:06:32]   i was like playing the other day[7:06:38]   just a break uh from the show guys we got a lot more hours to do okay ready[7:06:56]   so[7:07:08]   oh yeah[7:07:14]   all right[7:07:19]   so somebody's honey sprouting my ice box somebody's cold one[7:07:30]   he's giving me chills guess i'll just close my eyes[7:07:39]   oh yeah[7:07:43]   all right[7:07:46]   feels good[7:07:49]   inside[7:07:52]   flip on the telly where's your weed jimmy something is a bubbly[7:08:03]   my back the bottle is ready to blow[7:08:19]   joy is[7:08:46]   i need more instruments right[7:08:49]   i can't confront you i never could do that which might hurt you to try and be cool when i say[7:09:03]   this way it's your water slide away from me that takes you further every day so be cool[7:09:20]   whoa your drug is a heartbreaker[7:09:40]   dear daddy i'll write you in spite of years of silence you cleaned up[7:09:48]   red bar things are good oh so i hear this bottle of whiskey awakens ancient feelings[7:09:59]   like father stepfather this sound is drowning in the fun yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah thank you[7:10:14]   thank you[7:10:33]   say it ain't your drug is a heartbreaker[7:10:44]   so[7:10:58]   thank you thank you all so much[7:11:07]   life is just fine[7:11:11]   turn it off thank you thank you so much all right back to our program here today we were watching[7:11:18]   pat dixon right pat dixon talk about redbird okay this is interesting let's see how pat feels[7:11:25]   you can't compete with these performances huh i know performances maybe i'll just start a[7:11:30]   i know performances maybe i'll just start a performance show[7:11:37]   thank you so much uh pat dixon red bar ray devito let's wrap this one up a little bit faster than we[7:11:45]   were going to it does you can just are we done sure let's be done he mentions it to him he says[7:11:52]   the same exact story that he told her now he's going to tell him and pat dixon just goes says[7:11:58]   nothing but like huh so here's how i'm gonna end this ray devito i never want to hear about you[7:12:04]   again i don't have the time the amazing veto i need to hear from you now or else i don't know[7:12:14]   who you are i don't know what you look like i don't know where you live you call in now or[7:12:20]   fucking else do you understand this demand all right jules lead us into our next segment here[7:12:26]   today you want some impulsive i want janko should we just do the janko focused one janko focus i[7:12:36]   love this janko a lot of big mike stuff or there's just a little janko for a treat which do you[7:12:42]   prefer um i'd like janko yes we got a lot of smart you want to do some little ones here well this[7:12:48]   one is kind of okay a little one george janko one of the best comedians of our time i'm really[7:12:54]   starting to love this guy he's so weird do we have the elevator segment yep you want to do that[7:13:01]   first i love this elevator segment did you know george janko didn't know you know this is so[7:13:09]   fucking great he goes into elevate when he walks into an elevator he starts talking to people[7:13:15]   he's telling the story on the show he goes i went into an elevator i decided not to talk to anybody[7:13:21]   i had no idea that if you don't talk to people in an elevator everyone's silent and everyone's[7:13:28]   like yeah why wouldn't they be in george janko's mind everyone in an elevator is talking and vibing[7:13:38]   because that's what he always initiates when he goes into an elevator and then the one time he[7:13:44]   didn't go into an elevator or the one time he didn't initiate he noticed everybody was silent[7:13:50]   and he thought it was so strange wait till you hear this clip send me the link or uh impulsive[7:13:58]   yeah here we go impulsive george janko i got these pants in eighth grade stop yeah[7:14:05]   there's a lot i don't want to do all impulsive i just want to do janko today of course[7:14:11]   big mike he's out of control trust me[7:14:15]   maybe we'll show the big mike parts next show because he we haven't talked about him in a while[7:14:23]   can we do a big mike bonus show yeah what about that we haven't done a bonus anything in so long[7:14:29]   what if we did a big mike catch-up bonus show where we just quickly solely big my couple hours[7:14:35]   what he's been up to because because you know i always say big mike i'm like let's say big mike[7:14:40]   to the end of the show then i'm exhausted from all the b stories and bullshit[7:14:46]   these guys are the absolute pits all right give me that janko time code janko you can go to 2845[7:14:54]   wow 2845 both logan and mike have been up to some nefarious shit it's insane i mean i could do an[7:15:00]   entire podcast i'm about to start a whole new life we have like so much to catch up on everybody[7:15:06]   we should do a big mike bonus show for scars club only at the very least we'll do him right[7:15:12]   at the beginning because people miss us i i have like five months of big mike stuff to tell you[7:15:18]   let's do that let's plan that jewels okay i'll plan it[7:15:25]   it's exhausting all this work i mean it's really like you know when i look at these segments[7:15:31]   covering them it's is it feels like oh i'm planning a date to dig a giant fucking hole[7:15:37]   that's just because you're so tired and exhausted by this point in the show if we were doing it[7:15:41]   right fresh you i just want anybody listening at home imagine just repeat one word over and over[7:15:49]   again for seven hours see how exhausted you'll be people weren't meant to talk like this this loudly[7:15:54]   for seven hours it's a lot that's a lot of heavy lifting for a guy that's so look at me look how[7:16:02]   i'm crumbling oh there's evan my most hated midget he's handsome huh yeah he's like james dean do[7:16:12]   you think evan's face is handsome handsome what are you trying to picture well look at it he's[7:16:18]   got abs he's got do you think he's handsome yeah you do would you kiss him full size he would be[7:16:26]   like bread would you kiss him as is if he came up to you and said give me a little kiss i'm married[7:16:32]   so if you weren't married if you were at a bar he comes up to you and goes hey baby would you like[7:16:38]   to ride my little truck would you kiss him i just what a midget look to you is there any such thing[7:16:46]   as a good-looking midget to you because to me there's not i mean i i remember growing up and[7:16:52]   there'd be like a porn midget here and there oh here's a porn midget that's disgusting to me i[7:16:58]   hate all midgets if you didn't know that about me i actually despise midgets of all type i don't[7:17:07]   care how human you think you're acting you don't fit in you don't even fit in with george jenko[7:17:15]   who's technically a fucking midget i don't like midgets i find them to be subhuman i find them[7:17:23]   to be not of this earth when i look at evan i go get him out of here if i were logan i'd kick[7:17:31]   evan out i'd never speak to him again in logan's mind it's the exact opposite he'd die for evan[7:17:37]   he actually says that on the show bro dude we were at a party last night i told evan dude i'd die for[7:17:44]   you you die for a midget logan thank god logan is his we should play that part too how he died[7:17:51]   can we do that right now 11 30. well look at that jewels knows every time code by heart for this[7:17:56]   show 11 30 look at this logan's hungover they went out drinking last night aka they did mdma[7:18:04]   and they're lying they're pretending they're hung over i know hungover people i've been one of them[7:18:11]   you can't do a show when you're really hung over the next day but you do have a wave of energy[7:18:18]   during the final come down of mdma you do so if you've ever done mdma you've stayed up all night[7:18:28]   and then you get this sort of weirdo second wind creepo second wind at like 8 a.m where you're[7:18:37]   talkative and you're like that's what they're displaying here pretending they're hung over[7:18:43]   when i'm hung over i'm not able to wake up at 8 a.m and do a podcast if i'm on mdma which we[7:18:51]   should do once in a while i'd like to do a drug again oh yeah that's right i'm in too much pain[7:18:59]   watch this the fuck i got quaggles on i'm sick of seeing her face every day i'm i'll go out and die[7:19:06]   in the sheets by the way so is that a little you want to know about second win hearing mike's voice[7:19:12]   gives me that second win hearing my and by the way mike joined the phase clan did you want to[7:19:22]   do the whole thing no no okay no mike joined the phase clan i predicted this one day maybe you[7:19:28]   should save it for the big mike yeah the big mike do it now i know i know shut the fuck up i'll do[7:19:33]   it later opioids mike we could just do it i don't know about opiates it's not no no no we're not[7:19:41]   doing a quick version trust me i want to do i don't think it's opioids what drug do you think[7:19:48]   they're on that they're claiming they're they're saying they're so hung over and they've got like[7:19:54]   big bags under their i mean they really look crazy what drug do you think they were doing[7:20:00]   that they're claiming it's just a booze hangover when i have a booze hangover i'm not like[7:20:07]   it's very down it's very sick it's very flu like they're like loopy and like they're very giddy[7:20:13]   and laughy so what drug do you think they're on that they did last night in addition to booze[7:20:18]   what drug do you think they did see i think mdma gives you that weirdo loopiness at the end but[7:20:24]   big mike they wouldn't be able to resist talking about that exactly they would be you get that[7:20:30]   loopiness at the end of acid i'm trying to think because with booze if you drink all night on booze[7:20:36]   you're really not able to wake up at 8 am and do a podcast and be laughing your ass off and that's[7:20:44]   what they're doing so i think they did like a ton of adderall so they could stay up all night[7:20:51]   okay that's could be it it could be adderall and booze people don't think they need to[7:20:56]   reveal that they did adderall along with their booze or drugs they don't think that they need to[7:21:06]   you know what do they call that reveal that they think that oh adderall that's not really a drug[7:21:13]   i could i think they snorted adderall i think they were on it i think when these guys go out[7:21:18]   drinking they take adderall too they don't include that in their debauchery for the night[7:21:26]   to me adderall is whoa what a rip to me adderall is intense bro it's so intense i told you this a[7:21:35]   million times i won't do adderall on the show i would love to you know how many times i'm in so[7:21:43]   much pain i'm so tired i got to do the show i would love to do it it's not you on adder i[7:21:48]   refuse to be on adderall during the show i find it to be that intense to me adderall is mdma[7:21:57]   you everybody would know in like a second your face completely changes to a different guy[7:22:02]   adderall is so strong to me all right but watch this let's see what happens here uh[7:22:09]   logan reveals and you'd have to be on some sort of adderall or mdma to say what he's about to say[7:22:16]   he's about to say that he would take a bullet for evan the midget a midget that i want out of that[7:22:23]   house so bad i can't believe he would die for evan listen to this i'm sorry i don't know you guys[7:22:30]   went out last night a good time is there anything that you guys saw where you kind of forgot you[7:22:34]   know like when i went out i was noticing things that i forgot about is there anything that i[7:22:38]   forgot oh by the way somebody says mike if you try i wouldn't do this show on kratom i wouldn't[7:22:42]   do this i tell you everything that i'm on when i do the show i feel like it's your right to know[7:22:49]   that's why when i drink i like to make it very apparent that way when you're hearing me speak[7:22:54]   you go oh well it's because of this whiskey it's because of the weed there are no hidden drugs[7:23:02]   involved i feel like you must disclose the drugs you're on when you're talking to people[7:23:08]   because it changes everything if i was on adderall and i said an hour's worth of stuff[7:23:14]   that is different than what i would say when i was sober you deserve to know what i'm on[7:23:22]   in order to interpret and listen to what i'm saying i feel like that's your right[7:23:27]   just like how you should have to disclose if it's an ad on joe rogan okay he's telling you[7:23:33]   oh kill clip it should be this is a sponsor so that you know as a consumer what you're actually[7:23:40]   hearing if i was on adderall and telling you all that it could be all junk so i go here's the booze[7:23:47]   this is what i'm on this is what i'm on i'm gonna do some shmi that's what i'm on[7:23:52]   that's what i'm on there's a lot of people go oh he's on coke or something i would tell you[7:23:58]   yeah i would have to tell you it's your right to know what your speaker is on[7:24:05]   but listen to this everything that happened last night are you asking are you asking us[7:24:09]   if there's anything we forgot about last night no i was like oh shit i forgot this is a thing[7:24:18]   i've i i felt something talk to me watch this acknowledging how you feel feels good[7:24:28]   there's this new way day after drug statement there's this new wave of guy you know and i'm[7:24:35]   so distanced from this because yeah listen i was 22 once that's a lifetime ago i get[7:24:43]   i get mad when i hear people and it's my fault you know i'm watching[7:24:48]   people experience feelings for the first time and we used to not have this we didn't have podcasts[7:24:53]   before where you were watching 24 year olds go oh and pontificating about what they experienced[7:25:00]   for the first time and when you've experienced something 20 years ago and hearing somebody[7:25:06]   experiencing it today it kind of makes you sick knowing that they're just figuring out what you[7:25:13]   figured out 18 years ago it's disgusting you go and it's it's kind of eye opening too you go oh[7:25:21]   look at that and logan is in his experiencing new feelings and it makes me sick[7:25:30]   and i feel like there's this big kick you know at least with these youtubers and influencers[7:25:37]   i'm following where they're experiencing the joy of over sharing because they've never done it[7:25:44]   before so they're sharing and haven't you heard people talk about being vulnerable[7:25:52]   and they're talking about it as if it's like exhilarating and you're going if you're as old[7:25:58]   as me you're going shut the fuck up like keep that should have been done in an i-hop between[7:26:04]   two friends with no cameras and they're telling it on these podcasts now because they're open to it[7:26:11]   they're like being vulnerable is actually pretty dope but at least shut the fuck up he is in his[7:26:17]   20s because big mike is doing the same thing well yeah big mike is 36 and doing listen to this shit[7:26:26]   and doing listen to this shit acknowledging how you feel feels good yeah okay is this is okay[7:26:32]   i was i was really present and i'm just identifying how i was feeling throughout the night feelings[7:26:39]   would come they would go i'd acknowledge them i'd download them i'd say hey you're here we're here[7:26:45]   and you know the problem with him he thinks that everything he experiences is like a gift to him[7:26:51]   that none of us have experienced that's what drives me not yes when logan's like dude last[7:26:57]   night i tapped into something that most humans don't vulnerability yeah i express my feeling[7:27:06]   it's like dude iron that shit out like you know what i mean it's such a noob thing and he thinks[7:27:15]   it's so unique to him because i want to save it for the big mic show but basically since lana and[7:27:20]   mike broke up mike's been going i think people don't realize that monogamy isn't really it yeah[7:27:28]   and he is talking about how growing up is overrated and it's like oh really that's so[7:27:35]   sweet and sincere and you should have figured that out like 20 years ago kept it to yourself[7:27:41]   kept moving don't give these people you know uh these people have been tricked and right now you're[7:27:47]   seeing a big trickery into being open they're confused with like you know how people say dude[7:27:55]   you got to be honest like honesty and podcasting like if you're going to be a comedian be honest[7:28:01]   they're confusing that with telling everything that happens to them what they mean by honesty[7:28:07]   is like be yourself don't do a bunch of bullshit don't feed us a crock of shit like stay true to[7:28:14]   yourself they don't mean tell us exactly what happened to you minute by minute you're it's[7:28:21]   cringe save it this is coming from a guy who might have done that i mean i don't want to listen back[7:28:30]   i probably did that you know but that's what i'm saying at least logan has kind of an excuse[7:28:35]   because he actually is really young yeah big mike i do not give a big mic is 40 that's it we're in[7:28:43]   this together like there was a moment i had with evan listen evan the midget i don't know if you[7:28:46]   remember this evan can you come on can you come on please i asked you to come on he burrows his[7:28:52]   way through a vent and he's on evan can you come on imagine living in the logan paul house you're[7:28:57]   not part of impulsive you just live upstairs and game as a midget yikes you know evan was sprayed[7:29:07]   with uh poison when the exterminator came they thought he was a rodent listen to this shit[7:29:14]   cried in the driveway yeah together evan we cried in the driveway i don't know do you understand[7:29:21]   oh i think they bleeped fucking i think evan we fucking know they're bleeping the name of the[7:29:26]   person's party that they want we cried in the driveway so logan last night was with evan[7:29:34]   in the driveway at a party big party and they cried together logan and a midget[7:29:42]   cried again now he is nothing more than a vermin to me a midget that's not a human to me i want[7:29:50]   to make that perfectly clear under no circumstance is a midget valuable worthy of life to me they are[7:30:01]   less than beetle less than rat me and a rat would get along and have a better time than this guy[7:30:09]   i am utterly disgusted by midgets listen to that that's not shock value listen to this[7:30:19]   it's a joke you guys saw you guys crying you were him in the air and he was crying on your[7:30:27]   shoulder and i was walking around with a blanket over my head and what a weird event i think[7:30:38]   yeah we were crying we were crying i was i was tearing up but you were crying whoa[7:30:43]   big yeah because you know what i said i said bro because we walked outside and evan and i[7:30:50]   we just having a super fun night like obviously i fucking love this kid and i looked at him and[7:30:54]   i say yo motherfucker i would die for you obviously i love that i hate when people call[7:31:02]   other people kids when you're adults i hate it after you're 17 you don't call another person[7:31:08]   kid i all these youtubers like dude man this kid like uh you know i know this kid who's[7:31:15]   if you're referring to other people as kids then you are an adolescent still you consider yourself[7:31:24]   to still be like a high school kid it's a real insight to what they're thinking of themselves[7:31:30]   when they call other people kids i can't imagine that calling somebody a kid that i converse with[7:31:37]   dude i love this kid he's not a kid he's 26 he's a midget like straight up die[7:31:44]   straight up die there's not a lot of people i'm bro you know me i love me there's not a lot of[7:31:50]   people i could say that for but he's one of them like wow so his people you know logan just said[7:31:55]   i would die for evan i feel like his financiers his accountants are all going all right we got[7:32:02]   to do something they're all scrambling logan will take his life for a midget i mean that's alarming[7:32:09]   that should be like what is britney spears under right now a conservatorship what is it called[7:32:14]   that should be like yeah logan's dad and mom should do the britney spears thing to him[7:32:19]   you would die for a midget we need to be in control of your finances then you're unstable[7:32:25]   you would die for a fucking midget we're in big trouble oh his accountants are scrambling the[7:32:31]   whole team is scrambling trying to funnel the money into a safe account that he can't blow[7:32:36]   dude i would die you would die for him he's practically dead he's oh sorry sorry i didn't[7:32:44]   mean that but yeah a jovial celebration of judyicity dude i would die for you what are[7:32:52]   you on bro like die for you and i was just like expressing that to him and then you know we start[7:32:58]   hugging a little bit and then also he was both kind of like you hugged a midget and by the way[7:33:02]   they made some comment i don't know if you heard it they go when i came out to the driveway[7:33:06]   you were holding him in your arms and he was crying so because he's a midget remember when[7:33:12]   two men are crying together they go ah but if you're a midget you're being held in cry he was[7:33:20]   holding i'm not kidding logan paul was holding the midget against his shoulder and they were weeping[7:33:29]   together and then he burped him i mean that's fucking i'm telling you logan here's the story[7:33:42]   logan adopted this midget evan back in his early days of vine so that he could have a jackass like[7:33:52]   festive circus like environment he had no friendship with the midget he wanted it to be[7:33:59]   zany anyone who involves a midget in their life wants this zany thing to be portrayed logan[7:34:09]   thinks of this midget evan like i think of my dog logan will find himself cuddling and petting[7:34:17]   i'm not kidding i'm not joking he'll pet evan they like logan will be watching uh sports and[7:34:24]   he'll have evan on his leg he'll be petting him he evan is logan's favorite dog i'm not kidding[7:34:33]   that's twisted that's not right that's anti midget i would talk like i love you bro there's one of[7:34:41]   those moments look i love you bro i would love to be in a multi-universe where he's like i love you[7:34:47]   would take a bullet and then you're just like wait a second the emotions have passed it was[7:34:54]   the liquor that was talking i got shit to do today i can't that was easily the my favorite[7:35:01]   moment wait let's listen to this that was easily my favorite moment of the night his favorite[7:35:08]   moment of the night was when him and logan were crying a drug-based cry a man dog cry[7:35:20]   because logan is so lost in life that he feels this love for his pet i'm not kidding this is[7:35:27]   really happening and listen it sounds anti-midget the person who's anti-midget is logan he's[7:35:32]   treating this guy like a cat even janko knows who is logan's bigger dog wait you should play this[7:35:44]   yeah oh yeah listen to this wait till you get that was easily my favorite moment of that night for[7:35:50]   sure crying on logan's show it was one of the only ones that like meant something it's amazing[7:35:55]   that means so much to me because like if i like not going to party this is a slight show he didn't[7:36:00]   go to the party george janko didn't go to the party he thought it was lame he has a girlfriend[7:36:05]   he's over these parties george janko is mature he's cool george janko didn't go to the party[7:36:13]   he keeps hearing all these great things about the party and now that evan said that was my favorite[7:36:17]   moment of the night listen to what janko has to say about the midget and logan's favorite moment[7:36:23]   of the night that means so much to me because like if i like not going to party this is a slight[7:36:29]   fomo for you to say that that was your favorite moment i'm glad i didn't go up[7:36:35]   it was beautiful if that was your favorite moment i'm glad i didn't fucking go to the party[7:36:39]   janko classic janko and logan's going dude but it was beautiful[7:36:44]   it was beautiful hugging holding a midget in your arms off the ground that should be illegal[7:36:53]   yeah we love each other yeah and and we love each other[7:36:59]   yeah it was beautiful we love each other yes it was beautiful what the fuck is happening[7:37:06]   by the way i would do the same for you appreciate you yeah it took you only 24 hours to imagine[7:37:10]   that let's hope we never have to be in a scenario where that's like like like imagine they're like[7:37:14]   well we heard you on the podcast we heard you on that so what do you logan is so stupid he's[7:37:19]   fooled by his emotions and he lets his emotions take him to places whoever's set in front of him[7:37:26]   the emotions apply to them it's the biggest noob fool's move you could do a man must get his[7:37:34]   emotions in check he must know where they come from again it's the single number one reason i[7:37:41]   don't do drugs on this show i don't do mdma of the show i don't do it because it will trick you[7:37:49]   into emoting and connecting things that don't need to be connected that aren't connected[7:37:56]   and only a fool you know even when i'm on adderall or mdma i know what's fucking going on these[7:38:03]   people these low-level thinkers they get lost in their inhibitions you know you heard gino bisconte[7:38:11]   somebody made a clip when i discussed how when gino bisconte was on mdma he made out with a guy[7:38:20]   i thought it was a it was a great clip because i talked about dude drugs doesn't make you make out[7:38:27]   with a guy they're not that powerful if you make out with a guy it's only because you're gay[7:38:38]   that's it or you're stupid gino literally made out with a guy on drug google that you'll find[7:38:48]   the clip where i go over it all and you hear is dude i was on mdma that's not i've been on mdma[7:38:54]   you know who i made out with jules which is justice gross which is justice gross[7:39:03]   he has to die now wait this sounds pretty close to dick ransom guy we haven't talked about him[7:39:08]   in a long time you got who is he who is even here for dick ransom like everybody before i even said[7:39:13]   it they go you're gay you're gay you're gay the whole chat you're gay you're gay[7:39:16]   inspiring there's nothing wrong with being gay if you're um actually gay if you're not gay and you[7:39:23]   do something gay it's like a twisted sinister weirdo fucking thing i think you can skip ahead[7:39:28]   oh look at that that's like turning around it's a cat's butthole right in your face all right what[7:39:35]   time we're gonna do 28 45 this is 128 28 28 and this is jenko what is he gonna say the elevator[7:39:43]   thing the elevator thing and then we have another jenko thing after this oh i hate doing i don't[7:39:49]   like to burp can i have a sip of the red bull by the way i hate giving jewels my drinks i know i'll[7:39:55]   give it right back um i'm like anti-burp on podcasts listen i've been doing it eight hours[7:40:01]   i'm allowed to burp after what i've done but i will apologize i will excuse myself you see people[7:40:08]   a minute ten in their podcast going[7:40:12]   into the mic you know i did it in the mic by accident i go excuse me i apologize i find that[7:40:18]   to be so disgusting to burp on a show i really do i hate it i hate eating on a show burping on a show[7:40:25]   farting i hate it all i hate gas listen to this people handle alcohol differently yeah that's[7:40:33]   i just wanted i i did i finally got into the shoes of somebody who over thinks how were they[7:40:39]   comfortable i finally got into the shoes of somebody that over thinks listen to this jenko[7:40:44]   elevator was a year ago i i smoked too much and got paranoid somebody says shout outs to britney[7:40:50]   venti do you want to hear something really funny i'm going to read this oh shit it's okay listen[7:40:56]   to this somebody says shout outs to britney venti do you know who she is jewels give me a link to her[7:41:02]   wait till you see this[7:41:07]   you're not gonna fucking believe this does she spell her name like britney spears or[7:41:13]   it's britanny a and y okay uh pull up britney venti for me first i'll show you who she is[7:41:21]   because somebody said shout outs to britney venti really weird and random right i was out and i was[7:41:26]   talking to somebody so let me show you her whoa that's weird oh there she is um do you know this[7:41:34]   girl she's like a britney venti 155 000 subs let's just click on a random video this is her[7:41:44]   i don't know i feel like i feel like i would i would listen him read me[7:41:47]   a nighttime story just like the very you know this girl pillar today i will be doing a live[7:41:53]   britney's got some big too big these aren't boobs that you should celebrate these are[7:41:58]   too big these are called oversized whoppers people like them big no not this big you don't like them[7:42:04]   this big look at this you'll you'll die when you see this because this one is sheerly to get can[7:42:09]   you see what i'm seeing here or is it too this is grape ape shit hold on do you see those that's[7:42:19]   ridiculous that's beyond the line of anything you'd want that's britney venti listen to this[7:42:26]   i get an email the other day britney venti co-host request hello mike i hope this email finds you[7:42:38]   well i am hickson the manager of britney venti she has expressed an interest in having you appear[7:42:49]   as a guest co-host on her new and successful show internet girl i think that's what we were[7:42:57]   just watching internet girl premieres live on britney's youtube channel with over 24[7:43:04]   million views and gets thousands of hours of watch time daily the show is also available on[7:43:11]   spotify itunes google amazon and nearly every other platform oh i'm a jerk who doesn't you're[7:43:17]   a let look at this mike you're a legend in the podcasting community it would be an honor to have[7:43:26]   you on her show oh my god i didn't know they said that britney has interviewed chrissy mar[7:43:32]   it's a goodman diy investing terry rich rickett allah matt christianson[7:43:40]   these are all people i hate i hope you two extraordinary talents can work together soon[7:43:46]   email me back if you're interested thank you i have not emailed him back but i came up with[7:43:52]   an option i don't do interviews i'm too good i'm too important i will never appear on another[7:43:59]   appear on another podcast as long as i live but i have an idea[7:44:07]   what if i go on fiverr and hire a mike david look-alike[7:44:16]   a really shitty look-alike that i send out to do these interviews as me i give him like five[7:44:23]   bullet points about me and then he has to wing it an imposter he's got to wing it and we'll see[7:44:30]   what happens what do you think of that do you see how these people write to you this is what's going[7:44:36]   on in the lex fridman tim dillon world they're sending emails like this to each other and[7:44:42]   pretending they're involved in something big below me they were asking you to be coho[7:44:48]   like or just a guest and in their world everybody oh my god 24 million views what[7:44:56]   combined throughout the history of her existence i mean are you really trying to pull that on me[7:45:03]   disgusting disgraceful[7:45:08]   well she said a lot of nice stuff about you so we gotta get a look-alike find me and if a listener[7:45:14]   wants to do it that'd be way easier any listener that kind of it doesn't really have to look like[7:45:20]   let's do a contest in the bpg yeah who looks not in the bpg on the show how about this we're looking[7:45:26]   for a mike david look-alike for interviews submit send an email to mike at redbarradio.net with your[7:45:34]   picture and that's it and i want to send you out as dumb as pop i don't want you to know anything[7:45:41]   you don't have to know anything about me it doesn't have to be good you just have to short[7:45:47]   have a similar vibe within 10 yards of me and then i send you out to do interviews and you go[7:45:54]   oh yes i have been pod and i want you to be i have been podcasting for 24 years thank you[7:46:01]   yes i am about free speech i love comedy please submit your info mike at redbar we will pay you[7:46:10]   100 per interview that you do how about that sounds because i got 50 of these lined up i[7:46:18]   mean people ask me for interviews every day now i'll send out different look-alike i mean how[7:46:23]   funny would that be hey we have mike david hello i am mike david and then they're like uh i bet[7:46:31]   they'll go with i bet even britney venti would go with it because she's sharp no to these people[7:46:38]   it's just about getting another show uploaded they don't give a fuck i bet we could cause some real[7:46:46]   ruckus what do you say mike at redbarradio.net i'm looking for five mike davids they're saying[7:46:52]   get the iron patriot yeah anybody who's willing you contact me you don't even have to look like[7:46:58]   me put on a fake beard hello i am mike david all right listen to this elevator story you're gonna[7:47:05]   fucking love it buddy and i i stopped i didn't talk because i was like don't say that it's dumb[7:47:10]   and blah blah blah and i was like oh my god this is how people think like some people think this[7:47:14]   way they'll say something in their head before they say it and then they're like regret it so[7:47:18]   they don't say it and then i'm like whoa that's so weird i've never done that i usually just say that[7:47:22]   and sometimes i'm not gonna lie a lot of times i'll say something like why did i say that that[7:47:25]   was dumb yeah and we'll just see where it goes and that's how i just lived my life but i kind of[7:47:30]   look at evan trying to understand a human being talking i don't even know what's going on this[7:47:36]   isn't a video game shut the fuck up you muscley midge is every midget full of muscles it's not[7:47:47]   gonna grow your height bro stop working out you're gonna run through your life like a dog[7:47:53]   with all this exercise you know why a dog lives 13 14 years because it's fucking going nuts every[7:47:59]   second of the day it's exhausting itself because it doesn't know any better a midget is no different[7:48:04]   than a dog it's constantly using every muscle in its body that's gonna overdraw your vitality it's[7:48:14]   gonna ruin you it's gonna cause an early death slow down midge elevator and it was the first[7:48:20]   time in my life i've ever been in an elevator and nobody talked and i was like oh my god this is the[7:48:26]   first time i've ever been in an elevator where nobody talked because i didn't talk listen to[7:48:31]   this this is some real insight to a different type of guy that i didn't even that i didn't even know[7:48:36]   just because a million years this is the type of guy i am i don't talk to fucking nobody unless[7:48:42]   they point a gun to my head i really like i go out into nature i don't talk to anybody unless it's a[7:48:48]   waitress and i don't get way if a waiter comes to my table i go any waitresses you could send[7:48:56]   i'll go i'll have a male waiter come to the table and be like hey oh yes can i see my waitress[7:49:02]   please they go excuse me i go yeah can i can i see the waitress please they go i'm your waiter[7:49:08]   i go can i see the waitress please jules gets so embarrassed uh watch this life i've ever been in[7:49:16]   an elevator and nobody talked listen to this and i was like oh my god this is how life would be[7:49:21]   in an elevator if i wasn't talkative and i didn't talk to people because nobody initiates the[7:49:26]   conversation i'm always initiating the conversation next to somebody when do you have time to have a[7:49:30]   conversation in a fucking elevator all the time you go up to level no i talk as soon as i get in[7:49:39]   i start talking you don't do that no we don't and we saw this other jenka vlog where he was in a[7:49:45]   hotel room that had one of those doors that opens into the room next to it and he knocked down the[7:49:50]   door and started talking to a whole family that was staying next to him in a hotel he had one of[7:49:55]   those joined rooms where you have a door in between and he started knocking on the join door[7:50:00]   and the family opened up the door and he started talking imagine how scary that would be jenko has[7:50:06]   no boundaries he thinks you know he had such little friends in high school that he wants to[7:50:12]   make friends with every people don't want to make friends with you you're a fucking monkey i would[7:50:17]   love to make friends with him yeah come over to me then come make friends with me you fucking[7:50:21]   monkey come over to my house and converse with me see how far you get you'd get far i think we'd[7:50:27]   become best friends yeah i'll tell you about your shong and how much i love it you come to my house[7:50:33]   now if you're going to people you want to talk to strangers you talk to me jenko eats family style[7:50:42]   jenko is a badass yeah he has no fear you want to hear the rest of this[7:50:50]   i had no idea people didn't talk in elevator i started a conversation in that that's what i'm[7:50:54]   saying it was the first time ever dude there's never that was the only time in my life that[7:50:58]   i've ever been in elevated and taught somebody you talk to people in elevators i talk to people[7:51:02]   any chance i get a hot button issue by the way elevator conversations and and there's a whole[7:51:06]   bunch of there's a whole genre of conversation around that situation logan's like dude i'm[7:51:11]   trying to play everybody but no bro not in an elevator that's private time dude i'm always[7:51:19]   trying to coerce and like con people but elevator now get in the elevator and it's very awkward[7:51:27]   it's generally very awkward because it because of that window of time that you have it's not quite[7:51:32]   long enough to really spark something up good but you're also standing next to someone like i don't[7:51:38]   need to no yeah take your own advice jenko no one needs to know about you they're not in they're[7:51:44]   not thrilled to to hear from you like hey generally you ever been in an elevator before that's a great[7:51:50]   question that's a great question it's my first time actually but but but what that's weird this[7:51:56]   is where elevator pitches come from this is where all of that stuff around elevators come from[7:52:02]   let's stick with elevators for a second just for a hot second boomers are cool too so mike is[7:52:07]   wearing an ivy band because these motherfuckers are so la when they get hung over they hire a[7:52:15]   nurse to come to their house to give them ivs you've heard tom sagura and burt do this i don't[7:52:23]   care how much money you have i find that to be over the line that is elitist it is unnecessary[7:52:31]   you drink some water and go to bed you don't have a nurse come in with an ivy[7:52:36]   and then wear the ivy band the whole show to brag about your ivy these guys huh any more from this[7:52:45]   clip um i don't think so we gotta wrap things up here do this one quickly the krista stephanel one[7:52:52]   go to the other episode okay but we're gonna watch jenko this is jenko owning you know i i can't[7:52:57]   jules i'm telling you i don't have the energy but it's so short it's only like a minute long[7:53:01]   okay uh give me the clip it's at the top impulsive krista stephanow do you know him a[7:53:07]   comedian you know i uh reviewed him i've always uh had him in my sights here this guy i reviewed[7:53:14]   him and i'll tell you this um he gets a pass here at red bar a shorter pass um[7:53:26]   he's stupid he's really dumb but is he evil[7:53:35]   at this point in my career i say he is not is this gonna work what is this[7:53:42]   it's got the thing popped up and it's just frozen um krista stephanow i've always gone[7:53:51]   i gotta do something about this guy because we've seen him grabbing brian kellen's naked ass and doing[7:53:56]   all he's out of it man i had never really sat down and here i had an hour and 23 minutes to view him[7:54:03]   he's an imbecile he's uh he's out of it he's rate of edo level stupid but he's not pure[7:54:15]   but he's not like christian calin evil but they caught him in a lie you know uh comedians they lie[7:54:25]   they forget that yes it's one thing to exaggerate a story on stage as part of your joke but when you[7:54:30]   start exaggerating and lying in real life when it's thought of as this is normal conversation[7:54:38]   you know you're on a podcast these comedians are so used to lying on stage because really[7:54:45]   you know i i i saw something the other day that really led me to believe[7:54:50]   oh yeah it was mark norman going yeah i saw a comedian the other day he did this joke and i was[7:54:54]   like damn i wish that was mine it was so good i wish it was mine and i thought what kind of person[7:55:04]   here's a joke comedian or not comedian in wishes above all else above thinking oh that was funny[7:55:13]   that was great that entertain me imagine hearing a joke and wishing it was that's your first instinct[7:55:19]   oh god why couldn't that have been mine and then i figured it out oh yeah these comedians aren't[7:55:27]   here to share a point of view they're not here because they got something on their mind to say[7:55:32]   they're not here because even they thought of something funny they want those laughs they[7:55:39]   want that applause so when mark norman goes to a comedy club and sees a fellow comic do a joke[7:55:45]   that kills he goes damn it i wish that was mine so i well why would you wish that was yours unless[7:55:51]   that's like maybe a point of view that you've been trying to articulate for a while i could see that[7:55:55]   but no no no mark norman was so mad just because another guy killed and he wishes he had that joke[7:56:02]   so he could kill leading me to believe which i've always believed that these comedians they're not[7:56:08]   in it to exchange information they're not in it to share something funny they're in it for that[7:56:14]   laugh they feed off that laugh it's a totally different exchange than anything else that's[7:56:21]   going on that what you're doing that what i'm doing it's they want to get on stage and get that[7:56:26]   roar to feed their soulless insecure soul and i saw mark norman say that and then i see him[7:56:37]   and why i hate comedians is because they've extended their lying to podcasts and i believe[7:56:44]   that you should not be lying on a podcast under the terms of real story you know when that midget[7:56:51]   did the switcheroo with carlos mancilla his excuse was it was a bit you're not on stage[7:56:59]   you're on a podcast how is that a bit you just told a lie[7:57:05]   so if you are doing this either it's really happening or it's a lie what time are we going[7:57:10]   to you're gonna see 15.5 yeah just 5 15 5 15 we're gonna catch and janko you know what's so great[7:57:17]   about janko he ain't part of the lying comedy community that's been trained to lie and accept[7:57:23]   lies so he's gonna hear christus de stefana do a bit and then watch he's gonna call him the[7:57:30]   fuck out when he finds out it's an utter lie watch this yeah i don't know what happened i just won[7:57:37]   with it i feel like this is no headphones versus headphones you do do historically not wear[7:57:42]   headphones on pods i'll do like whatever but i just realized that like we it's the headphones[7:57:46]   versus no headphones guys right now i don't feel like i have a great headphone you know head i[7:57:51]   think well because you have really nice hair hair hair i use no balding stuff this is just natural[7:57:57]   hair do you hear that yeah i got a lot of hair but i don't have pubes i don't grow pubes they're[7:58:01]   lying i've got a lot of hair on my head but i don't grow pubes i have no pubes logan goes yeah lie[7:58:09]   every man got pube i know it even i got a blonde little freak you lie he scrambles see these[7:58:19]   comedians they scram they'll say anything and they love holding court with non-comedians they[7:58:28]   really forget when a comedian this is why i love a comedian on impulsive because they forget these[7:58:33]   aren't comedians so they'll really treat them as audience members and they'll forget that you know[7:58:43]   so christos sifano out of a panic just goes yeah i got a great head of hair i got no pubes though[7:58:49]   nothing downstairs listen to this through the skin your teeth no dude i just don't i just i[7:58:55]   fully blank wait i got you gotta hear this study this just natural hair dude oh that makes my[7:59:00]   listen to this i got a lot of hair but i don't have cubes like i don't grow pubes you're lying[7:59:04]   through the skin your teeth no dude i just don't i just i don't and i don't don't grow leg hair[7:59:10]   what are you talking about i swear to god dude my i just i'm hairless i'm like a sphinx[7:59:14]   besides my head hairless like a sphinx besides my head underneath bald like alien janko says do you[7:59:23]   wax it he goes no hairless listen to this that's why i'm christy the sphinx back in brooklyn[7:59:30]   he has no leg hair you got no leg hair no no no no no no no no why is his teeth so white what the[7:59:36]   hell okay now go to 29 45 so that was five minutes in let's go to 29 minutes in where chris tells[7:59:45]   another story and if it weren't for janko no one would be the wiser this is why janko needs to be[7:59:52]   around 29 45 okay 29 45 listen to this you're gonna die[8:00:00]   I can't wait for the sponsor to be like, oh, so you let us in with suicide.[8:00:03]   Yeah, dude, I legend. Manscaped is the best dude.[8:00:05]   You ever shave your balls with Manscaped?[8:00:06]   No, I actually still use the the Lawn Mower 1.0 and I've almost cut my dick off[8:00:10]   like with a tuna can like TT a hundred fucking times.[8:00:13]   Dude, what you got to do?[8:00:14]   I get these huge gashes, the blood drips down.[8:00:16]   I got to switch.[8:00:17]   So Mike's bringing up Manscaped, which is a sponsor of his.[8:00:21]   We went over this device. Remember, I broke it.[8:00:25]   Manscaped, that little buzzer, it's the very worst.[8:00:30]   I mean, talk about a guy covered in it.[8:00:31]   I got hair coming out of my eyes.[8:00:34]   I got hair on the tip of my dick. I'm shaving everything.[8:00:37]   I'm telling you, this Manscaped Lawn Mower is the biggest scam in the world.[8:00:43]   You could buy the single cheapest buzzer,[8:00:47]   clippers, razor, whatever you want to call it.[8:00:51]   Go to Wal-Mart, spend $12.[8:00:53]   You're getting a better product than this bullshit Manscaped fake[8:00:57]   Alibaba buy in bulk.[8:01:01]   Print your Manscaped logo on bullshit.[8:01:04]   So, Mike, every chance he can get,[8:01:07]   you'll see a real noob, a real fucking rookie.[8:01:11]   When they start getting sponsors, they think it's cool.[8:01:14]   They start bragging about their sponsors.[8:01:17]   So they're talking about some like, oh, Manscaped, Manscaped.[8:01:20]   Listen to this.[8:01:21]   You go back because I think it's funny to see the whole thing.[8:01:23]   OK, because you got to listen to Chris.[8:01:25]   Listen to this or 1.0.[8:01:27]   And I've almost cut my dick off, like with a tuna can,[8:01:29]   like a hundred hundred.[8:01:31]   Dude, what you got to do?[8:01:31]   I get these huge gashes.[8:01:33]   They the blood drips down.[8:01:34]   I got to go.[8:01:36]   I figured it out when I get a full bush like that.[8:01:38]   What I do is I tuck it back.[8:01:39]   I go Buffalo Bill, full man, John.[8:01:40]   When I get a full bush, because they're talking about shaving their pubes now.[8:01:45]   Mike's talking about Manscaped.[8:01:47]   He goes, oh, yeah, when I get a full bush, what I do is I tuck it under[8:01:51]   like Silence of the Lambs and I shave.[8:01:53]   Watch this.[8:01:54]   It's a dude.[8:01:55]   What you got to do?[8:01:56]   I get these huge gashes.[8:01:57]   They the blood drips down.[8:01:59]   What you got to do.[8:02:00]   I figured it out when I get a full bush like that.[8:02:02]   What I do is I tuck it back.[8:02:03]   I go Buffalo Bill, full man, John.[8:02:05]   And then I say, OK, why is Janko up?[8:02:08]   Janko is now out of his seat leaning in.[8:02:11]   Now, Janko is about four feet tall.[8:02:14]   Chris DeStefano is about seven, nine.[8:02:17]   He's about eight Janko's big.[8:02:21]   Watch what little Janko does.[8:02:23]   Only Janko could even remember[8:02:25]   Chris's past remarks.[8:02:27]   Listen to this.[8:02:29]   Full bush like that.[8:02:29]   What I do is I tuck it back.[8:02:30]   I go Buffalo Bill, full mangina.[8:02:33]   You said you were hairless.[8:02:35]   Right. Well, bush.[8:02:38]   Oh, oh, oh.[8:02:40]   Oh. Motherfucking.[8:02:46]   Cliff. Not only that screenshot, I think I need that frame.[8:02:51]   Janko jumps up and goes you said you were hairless and[8:02:56]   Chris doesn't know what to do[8:03:00]   besides take a red bar[8:03:18]   I got KO'd bro I'm KO'd[8:03:21]   I'm KO'd[8:03:25]   Can you believe it and look how he takes it knowing he lied you want to see the aftermath of the lie[8:03:35]   Well, I figured it out when I get a full bush like that what I do is I tuck it back[8:03:38]   I go Buffalo Bill full mangina[8:03:40]   You said you're a hairless, right? Well Bush[8:03:49]   I'm sorry[8:03:52]   I'm sorry. I didn't answer you right away, but your teeth and then he changes the subject and never answers[8:04:00]   You got Janko look at Janko celebrate hip-hop. Hooray[8:04:08]   I'm sorry to answer right away those[8:04:13]   Wanted to protest so you're a known liar your Steve run is easy. You're on red bars radar guys with that[8:04:20]   It's[8:04:22]   Unfortunately the end of red bar eight hours. What is that 804 not bad eight hours?[8:04:31]   eight hours of this[8:04:33]   Thank you so much for listening join that scars Club if you like today's happen. I want to see joinings this week[8:04:39]   I want to see at least[8:04:42]   Ten join ten joining one is enough for me one joining. Thank you so much for listening. Good night[8:04:50]   Thank you[8:05:10]   Japanese girls do it to me every time[8:05:15]   Oh the redhead said you'd share the cello and I'm jello, baby[8:05:22]   You won't talk[8:05:25]   Me I'm the opinion me a public enemy[8:05:29]   Why you wanna go and do me like that come down on the street and it's with me[8:05:45]   I[8:06:01]   Go to the Green Day concert said you never heard them[8:06:09]   So I went to your room they read your diary[8:06:12]   I[8:06:14]   Watch a grunge leg drop noodle jack to a first table[8:06:18]   And then my heart stopped listening to cho-cho said I fall in love all over again[8:06:42]   Me[8:07:12]   Now[8:07:31]   My head out of this air[8:07:34]   Cuz think we make a good team[8:07:37]   You can keep my fingernails clean[8:07:40]   But that's just[8:07:48]   Without I bring home the turkey[8:08:10]   Oh[8:08:40]   What[8:08:48]   Now they're hit show jewels, bye[8:09:10]   You[8:09:40]   You[8:10:10]   You[8:10:40]   You[8:11:10]   You